#jimmy’s issues with self worth
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I p I promise I’m not trying to vilify c!Scott but so many problems keep leading back to him the more I analyze this goddamn series and I’m shaking him around like a goddamn ragdoll Sir why are you Like This
Edit: in trying to unpack why he’s like this I went down a very parasocial rabbit hole so I’m j I’m just gonna put that one back in the box actually
#the laundry list includes but isn’t limited to#jimmy’s issues with self worth#pearl perceiving herself as inherently cruel/dangerous#both Cleo and Pearl acting as protectors while rejecting their own personhood#didn’t cause but reinforced Cleo’s trust issues#also reinforced Martyn’s selfish habits#characters obviously#but holy shit why are you like this#also if you’re curious about the rabbit hole#I started analyzing his apathy which led to the whole Logic vs Emotion argument#which led to Societal Issues which led to issues with the MCC event#and that’s when I put it down
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(Mod by @mortal-kombat-1)
Coldstar Headcanons, Part X: Interpretation of the Shadows
• After getting his powers, Johnny has been able to hear the lies and secrets of others.
• These lies and secrets come in the form of horrifying monster-like shadows that are heavily based on the sins and appearance of this person.
• These shadows and Johnny's new powers are inspired by nyoomian's comic on Webtoon and the main character Daph. Johnny and Kenshi are basically Daph and Tom, you'll see why later.
• Johnny has a shadow version of himself but it's just a pitch black entity outlined by glowing purple and glowing purple eyes with fangs similar to that of a Tarkatan.
• Johnny calls this shadow "John" and John is based off Alastor's shadow from Hazbin Hotel and Mr-eatyourheart's Tarkatan Johnny fanart. John can also be considered a more dark and serious version of Johnny as he is a manifestion of Johnny's self-loathing, low self-esteem and low self-worth.
• Johnny's ability to see lies and hear secrets works on everyone, even Shang Tsung and Liu Kang. Well, everyone but Kenshi, who's ancestor is blocking out his powers.
• The backstory of Johnny's powers is different. Instead, when Johnny was stabbed by General Shao, he unlocked his Arcana because it was a moment of crisis. The marking is on the back of his neck.
• Arcanas will now be a part of my headcanons, watch the Mortal Kombat 2021 movie so you know what exactly Arcanas are.
• Instead of Raiden getting burned by Kuai Liang, he simply unlocked his Arcana. Same goes for Kenshi, Kung Lao and Tomas who unlocked their Arcanas.
• Decided to say goodbye to the sigils and markings on Cage Match Johnny and say hello to the tattoos from his MK1 "Splits and Fists" skin. He still keeps the earrings though.
• John was accidentally created when Johnny had a mental breakdown. Like a mentioned before, John is a personification of Johnny's negativity.
• The reason for Johnny's large amounts of negativity is his father, Robert.
----ANGST----
(Johnny will be refered to as Janet and a "she/her" for now as this is the past)
• Robert was an abusive man and Jimmy(Janet's older brother) helped Robert beat Janet up in places he couldn't go or when he was at work. Jimmy basically bullied Janet in school and his friends(the bullies from Cage Match) helped him.
• Rose didn't know of this because she was a cop and she had work to do. So when Rose saw Janet constantly coming home covered in bruises, she assumed it was bullying and she sent Janet to the local dojo.
• After Janet finished her training, she beat up her brother and his friends.
• But eventually Robert and Jimmy took it too far. Rebbeca was held down and stripped naked by Jimmy, who was angry at Janet for beating him up, and Robert, who was drunk, tried to rape Rebbeca.
• Luckily, Janet noticed and had enough. She grabbed her brothers baseball bat and beat them both to near death. But maybe too close to death.
• Robert died due to a fractured femur and pelvis, cracked skull, smashed rib cage and blood loss.
• Janet called Rose, told her what happened and what she had done.
• When Rose came home, Jimmy desperately told his mom that Janet needed to be arrested for what she did but Rose simply handcuffed Jimmy and said that he will be the one to get arrested.
• Rose comforted her girls and praised Janet for her bravery. That was the catalyst that made Janet decide to go all around the world and train in different martial arts and fighting styles.
• Janet eventually told her mom she was trans and Rose used Robert's money to pay for the surgery(as a last "fuck you"). That was the day Johnny was born.
• Johnny told his mom he planned to go to Hollywood soon and Rose simply told him to pack his things now as he might forget something.
• At this point, everything follows the Cage Match plot. Johnny sees a snatcher, beats him up, the dude who got snatched was a big director and he decided to turn Johnny into a star.
#johnny cage#hazbin hotel reference#inspired by fanart#mentioned self-loathing and low self-esteem and low self-worth.#johnny cage has issues#johnny cage headcanons#trans johnny cage#johnny cage used to be janet cage before transitioning#robert carlton is an asshole#jimmy cage is an asshole#rose carlton is a sweetheart
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rewatching jimmy’s last life pov to ground myself in what his character actually is so I dont let my horrible skewed visions win
#I have to be reasonable. I have to make sense (<- wont)#I also get confused bc people will write him really sad in a lost hope sort of way or people will refuse to think of him as sad at all#because they think the occasional bouts of false confidence + constant defensiveness = not having self worth issues at all? I guess?#Like it has to be one or the other. As if those traits cant coexist or even play into each other#like i get the anti jimmy woobification campaign i see sometimes but nobody content with their life gets that defensive. sorry#bree barks so fucking loud
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Went through my playlist of feels and chose the best songs I felt sorta fit the situation. Found some bangers I had forgotten
Here’s my list of suggestions:
Antidote, figure it out- Faith Marie
Agoraphobic- Corpse Husband
Would Anyone Care- Citizen Soldier
villain- mj apanay
Pain Is My Best Friend- Narrows North
Are You Satisfied?- Marina and The Diamonds (Thought this was funny cause of the previous mention)
High Low- The Unlikely Candidates
worthless- eli. (This one’s a personal favorite)
And here’s one to represent the people who care and are trying to help:
What The Hell Happened?- Ked
{Sorry for the long list I just really like sharing music}
-Wisp
LL!Martyn: That's a lot of songs.
LimL!Jimmy: We can put them in a playlist and have them in the background while we clean? Maybe?
LL!Martyn: I guess I don't hate that idea.
LimL!Jimmy: Great!
(Honestly? I knew only one of these before this)
~~Antidote~~
LimL!Jimmy: Oh this one is nice.
LL!Martyn: Not quite the same situation as me.
LimL!Jimmy: Yeah, because everyone knows that you need help.
LL!Martyn: ... I don't mind the song though.
~~Agoraphobic~~
LimL!Jimmy: Oh my gosh whats his voice?!? I ...didn't expect that.
LL!Martyn: Definitely didn't expect the depressing lyrics and the lo-fi beats to study to would mesh so well.
LimL!Jimmy: Oh yeah sure...but the voice!
LL!Martyn: We get it, It's deep. What? Do you...find it hot?
LimL!Jimmy: ... No! I mean not to say It's ugly because It's not but it's not why I-wait...you are messing with me aren't you?
LL!Martyn: Lmao.
~~Would anyone care~~
LimL!Jimmy: Well this is just depressing after depressing.
LL!Martyn: You good Tim? ...wow that was weird... it's usually you asking me.
LimL!Jimmy: Oh It's... nothing...just some unwanted toughts from Limited Life coming back...
~~villain~~
LL!Martyn: Ouch that hit surprisingly close.
LimL!Jimmy: yeah...same...
LL!Martyn: Guess we do have some things in common...even if for different reasons. (Paranoid delusions vs self-worth issues).
~~Pain is my best friend~~
LL!Martyn: ...well I am starting to think these are targeted... Should have expected that.
LimL!Jimmy: Well yeah, the whole reason we are listening to these is to help you... that's kinda the point.
~~Are you satisfied ~~
LimL!Jimmy: Oh I know this one! Joel is a big Marina and the diamonds fan...and so is Scott...but mostly Joel.
LL!Martyn: Huh? News to me. Scott I understand...but Joel? Really?
LimL!Jimmy: Oh yeah.
~~High Low~~
LL!Martyn: Huh... I feel like I am more just constantly low.
LimL!Jimmy: I don't thinks thats better????
~~worthless~~
LimL!Jimmy: Oh again, bad toughts go away.
LL!Martyn: What...are you doing?
LimL!Jimmy: Pushing the bad toughts away again.
LL!Martyn: I might be insane but I am pretty sure that doesn't work.
LimL!Jimmy: Well this one hit deep...
LL!Martyn: Oh yeah I agree, this one is like...really good.
LimL!Jimmy: I don't see the appeal of music that makes you feel worse... (Prefers happy music when feeling bad)
LL!Martyn: It's cathartic to hear your feelings be sung. (Prefers sad music when feeling bad)
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I finally got my hands on something I've been looking for (for a reasonable price) since I was just a lowly little level 12 hornball - A "Marvel Swimsuit Special!"
This is the second issue in the series (though the third book of its kind), and it was released in 1993 when... times were different.
The coolest thing about them (other than the totally radical '90s hunkeroos and baberinos in general) is the amount of really talented artists that submitted pieces - So many industry-leading folks putting their spin on the self-aware, low-brow, tongue-in-cheek project.
This first image was by Joe Jusko, a super popular cover artist at the time. I remember his Conan covers the most.
I'll eventually scan the whole thing in high quality, but for now, I'll take some preview pics to show you some of my favorite and/or goofiest pages:
Here is Domino, looking like we might need to race her to a Dermatology appointment. She's apparently tacky enough to wear a swimsuit with a domino print on it.
And check out Cable in the back - Sun's out, cyberbun out! He's ready to catch some waves on a totally-worth-the-money-and-production-time rocket-powered machine gun surfboard.
I really appreciate this artist's commitment to all the "Liefeld pouches" here. I hope they're waterproof, or all those Tic Tacs inside 'em are gonna get ruined. :(
Penciling by Chris Batista, ink by Hector Collazo, coloring by Mark McNaab.
Let's kick off the "after the jump" part properly with this glorious image of Pip. Because this is certainly what people bought this book for.
It just so happens that this fuzzy little asshole narrates the entire issue, so he's to blame for the inherently sexist captions on all the pictures.
Jesus Christ, he's got two big toes on each foot.
Pencilking by Darick Robertson, ink by Andrew Pepoy, coloring by Tom Smith.
I love me some Cloak and Dagger.
Tandy looks as gorgeous as ever. Surely she owns stock in boobie tape by now.
Tyrone, however, is getting so much sand stuck to him right now... I don't think he digs being used as a beach blanket. I'm... not even sure he's ever had to wash his cloak before today! Yikes. He's all like:
Penciling by Joe Madureira, ink by Terry Austin, and coloring by Gregory Wright.
I can't stop laughing at how much Thunderstrike looks exactly like the Genetic Freak, Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner in this picture:
The work is entirely by Lou Harrison. It may not surprise you to learn he's also a Fantasy artist.
I've always had a thing for Silver Sable, and this page is just fantastic.
That being said, my favorite part is Sandman sitting there, looking like a dope, shaped like a sand castle. Which, while it seems silly, was probably the most challenging and detailed thing I've ever seen him do with his powers. Worth it for the shot, I suppose!
Line work and ink by Steven Butler, a favorite of mine. He did penciling for the "Silver Sable and the Wild Pack" series (which got me attached), but he's also known for designing the Scarlet Spider suit. Coloring by Gregory Wright.
If you thought I wasn't going to Morb out on this post, you were undead wrong.
Just look at that ridiculous batpackage. Also... Is he really serving a cape over a leather jacket, but with absolutely no pants? Damn, dude.
Penciling by Gary Barker, ink by Jimmy Palmiotti, coloring by Tom Smith.
I can spot Adam Hughes' work a mile away, wow. I guess I didn't realize he was doing work for Marvel this far back.
A fierce-as-ever, short-haired Natasha who looks like she got slammed so hard against a rocky wall that it cracked, got up, emptied out the rest of her clip, and still had enough time and energy to pose during a reload.
Black Widow, bay-bayyy. ♫
Oh my god, Ghost Rider is just so naughty. Wearing nothing but his birthday bones.
This scene just looks like it smells awful.
Artwork by Tristan Shane.
Shulkie in a metal bikini (function over fashion?), bursting out of the lava from an active volcano. You wanna talk "hot tub?" Sure, this gets a feature.
Penciling and ink by cover artist Steve Geiger, coloring by Paul... Mounts.
Deezamn, Bishop. Never seen guy looking so buff before.
Instead of just Bishop, this looks like Hank McCoy and Bishop had a child together. Does he have any other mode than "arm vein p-pop?"
Penciling by Dwayne Turner, ink by Mark Farmer, coloring by Gregory Wright.
Ah, one of the more famous '90s Psylocke images that wasn't done by Jim Lee.
This centerfold was used in lots of comic store ads for several years after this issue came out. I remember seeing posters in the shops themselves. Trading cards of this picture are one of the most costly to collect.
It's beautiful, and the colors/lighting/shading are all fantastic.
Penciling and ink by the wonderful Art Thibert, creator of the Raft max security prison and inker of some of the most iconic X-title covers.
Coloring by Paul Mounts, who did the coloring in hundreds and hundreds of just Marvel comics alone - I didn't mention that earlier because I was snickering at his name earlier in the She-Hulk feature. My bad.
Well, this wouldn't be Tumblr without a cat picture, yeah? Or a catgirl picture, I suppose.
This is the most adorable scene in the book. Just Tigra innocently taking a cuddle nap with some... um... wow, I don't know what the fuck those things are. Snuggle up anyway!
Penciling and ink by Amanda Conner, coloring by Gregory Wright.
Huh. Of all the characters in this book, I really didn't expect to see Dr. Cooper... Either which way, the swimsuit under the detective get-up is pretty choice, honestly.
This is, of course, another Adam Hughes line art joint. Ink by Mark Farmer, coloring by Gregory Wright (who did a lot of these, huh?).
What's this? A parody ad that you'd more expect to see in an issue of "What The--?!" that only '80s kids will understand? Yup, totally.
This was in the back of the book and doesn't fit the theme at all, but it gets a mention because of the weird inclusion and also to stall time until I had the final image ready, because I needed time to prepare...
THIS.
This is the one.
How could I not end this little "show and tell" without this beauty right here?
Here, we have remorseless killer Frank Castle flexing his best end-of-catwalk pose in front of a... wrestling match between a bunch of lady demon dinosaurs battling... for his affection? To tip him American cash? Or maybe all those hearts come from their love of beating each other up? I'm not here to judge.
And then there's a sign for 75 cent hotdogs, but it's been covered with another sign for... $20 tooth brushes? What in the shit is going on here?
There is one thing I do know, though. The artist wants you to think that The Punisher has at least $2.75 worth of hotdog under that massive crotch skull.
#marvel swimsuit special#marvel comics#marvel#rare comics#rare#swimwear#comic book art#rogue#cable#cloak & dagger#she hulk#the punisher#tigra#psylocke#ghost rider#bishop#black widow#morbius#silver sable#big poppa pump
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Pls guys I wanna see a fanfic where Jimmy laughs about himself infront of his friends because of self worth issues and his friends get concerned and confront him about it pls pls pls pls
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Claire Novak fic recs: yeah, I was trying to reblog something every time I found a new one but its too disorganized so now it lives here. You have a Claire Novak rec? i want to read it.
Where the Heart Is by goldenraeofsun
Features a time-traveling Claire hanging out with Sam and Dean circa season 7. There's angst. There's Claire hooking up with a diner waitress. There's Claire having self-worth issues. There's Claire making fun of Dean to his face.
All the good stuff.
Like a Duck, He Fits the Bill by golbygloom
Claire Novak and her budding attachment to the guy who isn't her dad but wears his face. The angst of having to get out of your own way to make connections with others.
Let Me Come Home by prosopopeya
Deancas-centric but Claire Novak is a POV character, struggling in foster care and the uncertainty of whether her uncle (Cas) will get his shit together in order to take her in. The Claire and Dean parallels are strong.
Rec from kerryweaverlesbian:
no such thing as a unique experience by @astralpenguin
A 15 year old Claire meets the (now older) little girl who was possessed by Lilith for a long time. Neither of them realise this element of connection for quite some time. Tons of empathy and understanding. These two feel so much like complex teenage girls, and also the dramatic irony is incredibly fun. One of the best fics I've read all year
Rec from carhengeapocalypse:
Another rhinestoneangels (@pinknatural ) fic fatherisms
Claire is a baby when Jimmy agreed to be Castiel's vessel and Dean steps in to help take care of her. The timeline jumps around and the story is told in snippets and it's very good
as if death itself was undone by microcomets
Claire confronts a human Castiel in a grocery store.
Claire heaves a deep, bone-weary sigh. “Here I am, consoling an ex-angel using my dead father as a meat-puppet on his self-esteem issues. I should write a book or something.”
everlasting by entropic_saudade
Claire wants to have a permanent mark of her and Kaia’s love. In order to do the stabbing safely, she helps Dean bring Cas back from the Empty so he can heal her.
gifts given & words unspoken by rhinestoneangels
Short: Dean and Claire make cookies after Castiel brings her back to the bunker, injured. Some implications at this point, Claire is more family to Dean than Mary. Set in season 12.
coming out by dicklessthewonderclown
Short, Dean POV conversation on a drive with Claire where she comes out as wanting to date Kaia and also admits (by accident) that Dean is a kind of sort of maybe father figure to her.
A Christmas Miracle (for someone else) by bitterred
Set post-canon, mirroring all the "Cas is dead and Dean is depressed" fics, Claire Novak finds a cat during the holiday season.
i'm sorry i'm the one you love (no one will ever love me like you again) by monsterfatigue
Kind of weird that Claire decided she was in love with Kaia even though they had barely known each other. After Kaia comes back from the Bad Place, nothing is simple. Claire isn't sure why she thought it would be.
This Is A Love That Lasts Forever by HeddersTheOwl
Another fic where Claire being friendly with the angel that wears her dad's face is complicated.
"You look too much like him. It's not fair. You're not him."
meteor site (our hearts collision) by sobsicles
Claire has religious trauma laced with homophobia. Kaia doesn't want to be anyone's nightmare.
the way a dad should by fleeceframe
Dean and Claire are driving back to Jody's when Claire needs to stop because her period has started. (Side note: i was SURE that part of the reasoning for carrying tampons/pads in the impala was going to be partially related to the fact that they're sometimes good for wound care, in that the products are designed not to grow bacteria.)
i don’t know nothing (and that’s fine) by halfwheeze
Claire Novak meets Magda Peterson, the psychic girl from 12.4 American Nightmare, and likes her so much it makes Claire look stupid. Look at that, they have matching religious trauma:
"When Castiel-" she pauses, remembering that his name isn't carved into the internal dialogue of every girl with religious trauma from here to Texas, "the Winchesters' angel, I don't know if he was with them when they got you- when he came to Earth, he needed a vessel. A human strong enough to hold an angel, with strong enough faith to allow them in and allow them to stay." That's what the Winchester Gospels said about them anyway. Castiel just said that they needed to believe. They were special. Believers. Bullshit. "When Castiel came to Earth, he took my father. And then, when my father told him he couldn't stay anymore, Castiel approached me. Being a vessel, it's passed down in the family line. The blood. The body. All they need is the body. And I was a kid. He might as well have been God. So I said yes. And my father took him back. If you think about it, it's my fault that my dad is dead."
Bartenders Love Me by clusterjam
Claire Novak doing her Dean-coded thing: hustling in a bar, flirting with the bartender, and oh yeah: angst about whether her dad would approve of her.
Subject: Dean Winchester Is Dead by angelszn
There aren't enough fics about Claire finding out Dean (or Cas) are dead.
Dean Winchester is dead. Dean Winchester is dead, and Claire got the news in an email of all things. As if the gravity can be contained in the tiny black letters on the screen. It didn’t even seem possible.
patricide of the lowest order by angelszn
This one's dark (Major Character Death tagged) -- Castiel killed Claire's father, after all, and what is Supernatural but a series of revenge plots?
two steps on the water by orpheuscas
Claire in the aftermath of being cured of werewolfism. Heavy dose of "Dean is basically Claire's dad now" included.
she'll say she got the map from me by 13zepptraxx
Hey you know that episode where Dean goes back in time and hangs out with his mom? He tells her, "No matter what you hear, or what you see. Promise me you won’t get out of bed." but then an angel wipes her memory? What if Claire went back in time after Dean died because she was sick with grief and basically did the same thing?
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Fhdhfhf normally I just scream in the tags but I gotta be more direct-- I absolutely love the expressions in the most recent apocalypse drawing-- they are chef's kiss!!
Like,, Jimmy's face is just so soft and genuinely concerned without an ounce of judgement meanwhile we have a very unimpressed Scott overlooking from the background--
And of course, the cherry on top-- Tango himself-- you can SEE the STUBBORNNESS and STRUGGLE and IT IS CLEARLY GOOD-NATURED BUT ALSO BESTIE JUST ASK FOR HELP and I'm just AUGAHUFUHR /positive /affectionate /I'm chewing your art
Thank you!
And ye. It's something I thought a lot about cause I knew early on that at some point, between his create skin and whatever's up with his DM skin's hand, I would want to take Tango's left arm. I tried to quickly write my thoughts but like usual I wrote a novel instead.
tl;dr: Tango's an insecure little baby who thinks his insecurities are justified by their situation so he holds himself to impossible standards he would never dare hold anyone else to.
(Also thank you for using full word tones)
Between the ranchers Tango's used to being the dependable one - maybe even a bit prideful about it - and gets guilty and insecure whenever he fails. Specifically in a very defensive boomer-y sort of way. He doesn't much think about how "I need to be useful" is a pretty awful way to think about himself, and also a bit backhanded to Jimmy too, who similarly can't always be useful.
Probably not something this format is conducive to explore much, since it's a very internal struggle. But I think it's an interesting struggle to have in a rough survival setting. It's certainly a situation that can exacerbate and feel validating to those issues with self-worth and internalized ableism.
Well I took a bit more realistic route with my apocalypse, where people are still, you know, people, and don't all just turn into evil violent serial killers the second society collapses. So the ranchers can still find plenty of decent folk who aren't going to force someone who can't do something to just to earn their place, and would help someone who needs it because why wouldn't you.
But I think, especially when they're by themselves, Tango would struggle with those sorts of feelings even before losing an arm. It's probably something that exacerbates Jimmy's own insecurities in their worst moments. In their best they do the opposite, by thinking the world of each other and expressing it frequently. The ranchers' relationship is all about that feedback loop.
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Wait wait wait wait. No respawn?? Excuse me???!!!
The idea of respawn suddenly not working is tragic in any world, barring maybe hardcore players but it's still generally accepted among fanon that you just respawn in like the hub or smth, but imagine in a place like hermitcraft?? Nobody would have any reason to suspect that they just- wouldn't respawn. And they die all the time there for the most random reasons. Someone wants spoopy decorations? Decapitation. Someone gets a little annoyed? A quick kill instantly resolves the issue. Just bored and wanting to mess with your friends? Randomly oneshot them! So someone could easily kill someone as a joke, and the other just- wouldn't respawn. And oh my god would that be tragic.
Combine that tragedy of an au with a character like Scar or Jimmy that the fandom regularly uses as a punching bag for all sorts of self-worth issues?
Combine that once again with phantom Scar that likely already feels absolutely terrible whenever his instincts take over and he kills one of his friends that hasn't been sleeping??
It's 11:33 pm. I should not be allowed to do this, I'm gonna make myself cry if I don't stop soon.
YEA YEA YEA
Scar feeling so guilty. Even if no one really blames him, he blames himself. He knows that no one knew the respawn would stop working, he knows anyone could have killed someone in that moment.
But he also knows how tense everyone is around him. He knows the looks he gets. They all say they dont blame him but they do.
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i understood the web weaving post but i wanna hear you ramble about it anyways
thank u for enabling me as always thunder <3
this is ridiculously long, i tried my best at formatting it so it's easy to read, hope it is. still putting a cut here
for the first verse (black hole opened in the kitchen/every clock's a different time/it would only take the energy to fix it/i don't know why i am) i first chose one of the things jimmy says to piero in the phonecall at the party, which essentially boils down to "i don't know who i am" because i liked the idea of the last and first line somewhat mirroring each other (parallelism babyyy i love my rhetorical devices), but also that juxtaposition of the who/why. essentially, phoebe (or better, the poetic persona) and jimmy are both feeling stuck here and questioning themselves. that's also why i chose the friday joan of arc quote next (it is true i wished to escape; and so i wish still; is not this lawful for all prisoners?): to drive home that feeling of being stuck
for the first chorus (the way i am/not strong enough to be your man/i tried, i can't/stop staring at the ceiling fan and spinning out about things that haven't happened/breathing in and out) i chose a quote from when jimmy starts to dissociate during the meet and greet (but i'm gone, i'm already gone, i'm up above the three of us and gazing down at the three bodies and wondering who on earth decided that these three pathetically flawed human beings deserved so much worship) because of a) the "not strong enough to be your man" bit (he's not strong enough to face them and questions if he's even worth their worship), b) the whole "staring at the ceiling fan" line fits jimmy's anxiety perfectly and c) i just thought it was neat to have the juxtaposition of the rethorical persona of not strong enough staring up and jimmy staring down. the next line (hold the crucifix up before my eyes so i may see it until i die) is then supposed to fit with both of the other quotes, the ceiling fan and crucifix mirroring each other and the idea of worship/religion in jimmy's line being reiterated here
i skipped the second verse for lack of good lines to compare it to lmao
for the second chorus (the way i am/not strong enough to be your man/i lied, i am/just lowering your expectations/half a mind that keeps the other second-guessing/close my eyes and count) i chose another quote from the phonecall (everywhere i go, everything i do... i'm lying. i'm pretending. and everyone's watching me... waiting for me to get it wrong) for the similar themes of lies/dealing with others expectations/second-guessing yourself
for the bridge (always an angel, never a god) i chose a fereshteh quote where she calls jimmy an angel (but god, if anyone's the angel around here, it's him) because duh (but it is interesting to note that jimmy is very much called a god in iwbft... food for thought)
and finally, for the last chorus (i don't know why i am/there's something in the static/i think i've been having revelations/coming to in the front seat, nearly empty/skip the exit to our old street and go home/go home alone) i chose part of jimmy's and fereshteh's dialogue at st pancras ('home?' 'i want to go home.' 'like... like your apartment?' 'no,' i say. 'home. my actual home. where i grew up.') mostly as a juxtaposition because while the poetical persona is going home alone, jimmy takes someone with him. ultimately there's still mirroring tho, because they both want to go home (find peace?). and finally, the last line (i was in my thirteenth year when i heard a voice from god) is again supposed to fit with both of the other quotes, through "i've been having revelations" vs. the voice from god and through "where i grew up" vs. "when i was in my thirteenth year"
anyways, i think it's obvious not strong enough and iwbft are highly comparable due to religious imagery/anxiety/self-worth issues etc etc and i mostly just had fun here
#can u tell i like the word juxtaposition a normal amount#shoutout to my german and latin teachers for embedding a strong love for rhetorical devices and literary analysis in me#i'm also incapable of brevity and not really sorry for it#thanks again thunder <3#iwbft#boygenius#osemanverse#noah's stuff
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i would love to hear about indie horror rpg number 957!! i adore indie horror rpg games
WELL since u so kindly asked. it is now time for one of my Many corpse party rants ^_^ and yes ik corpse party is not as like. unknown as like, jimmy and the pulsating mass or smth (which is something i REALLY need to get around to playing, actually) but with the recent sequel announcement i have been spinning it in my head much more than usual. more accurately, how bad the writing got by the end and how disappointing the ending to the heavenly host arc was, because it had SO much potential!! the initial game was such a hit for a reason!! (initial referring to the like, DS version era, which feels weird to say but you get my point. initial full version of the main story.)
book of shadows highlights this issue the most for me, because like. it has Such a good concept. the idea that everything is contained in a horrifying time loop in which these characters slowly regain the memories of their past loop, including their gruesome deaths. that’s fucking terrifying!! having to face the fact that not only have you done this before, but you didn’t survive, and maybe you’re fated to never make it out of this alive, no matter how hard you try. that your fate will actually worsen the deeper you go into the loops. that nothing you do matters. it never did and it never will. (it also does some other things i like, such as delving into the alternate endings/realities and fleshing out more characters, dynamics, and backstories. that was good!! i enjoyed that!! largely bc the new stuff they introduced was actually yknow. new. and not characters from a novel they just threw in and acted like you should already be acquainted with them.)
the issue with book of shadows for me is that like. the characters are SO stupid. like. fucking mayu?? she REALIZES the marks on her body are there because that’s how she dies, then just. never fucking tells anyone?? and SPLITS UP??? i don’t care how self-conscious she is i will never excuse that choice. she recognizes the room that killed her. she makes a conscious decision to not enter it. and then enters anyway!!! because fuck you!!! if she’d ended up there again in any other way i wouldn’t have cared so much because like. again. they’re fated to always die in exponentially terrible ways yadda yadda. but the way they got her there is SO stupid. had she not ran into i THINK ayumi and yoshiki(???) it would’ve made everything a hundred times better. have her panic over her situation and not pay attention to where she’s going. running into others and not saying anything just makes it all so frustrating to play through. the concept is fun but it just becomes annoying instead of horrifying because you’re forced to sit through these characters being idiots and get distracted by that instead of the actual horror of the situation.
book of shadows just has gameplay issues as well, like jesus christ did we need such insane completion goals 😭 having to spam click through 30+ endings is more torture than anything they ever put their characters through. it’s not even worth it considering how much the ending sucks either. you had a good premise!!! an amazing one even!!!! why did you do her like that!!!
anyways. mods are asleep post mayu splatter dot jpg
#muse talk#anon#gore tw#blood tw#<- it’s like 9 pixels but just in case#also. i couldn’t fucking find the original mayu splatter#like every google result is either the anime or manga or book of shadows or whatever#like full cgs. which i felt was Far too graphic for just this silly joke ending#so i did in fact have to scrub through an entire 2 hour vod for this screenshot#bc it was the only one i knew reliably had the scenes i needed#never say i’ve never done anything for you guys#<- aware absolutely No One asked for this
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Warning for the other winners!
Your newest is going to be joining you soon! Also someone might have to check in on Grian...
Pearl: Grian! Stop running!
Grian: I am sorry about being mean to Jimmy!
Pearl: Then why are you still running? If you slow down then we can talk about it like normal people.
Grian: If I go back It's just going to happen again, I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.
Pearl: ... Are you being serious right now? Is this what's actually happening? It's a self-worth issue? Ok If you won't stop I'll stop you, we both know I am faster.
Grian: Wait no Pearl, I'll stop just -aaaaaaah why did you have to jump on me?!?
Pearl: To stop you from running from your problems both metaphorically and literally.
Grian: But...did you really have to jump on me to do that?
Pearl: Yes, you were acting like a dumbass.
Grian:... So ...
Pearl: Let's talk.
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the fear of falling apart
A/N: happy day 1 of @flower-husbands-week! listen i had a perfectly fluffy idea in mind for this but suddenly jimmy decided to have self-worth issues and scott decided to have a bit of a steven universe durin the "do it for her" song moment. enjoy! (title is from This Is Gospel by P!ATD)
Warnings: implied/referenced character death (mostly just talk of death), innuendo, self-worth issues, crying, arguing, suicidal thoughts (but more in the vein of valuing one's life below someone else's)
Summary: Jimmy realizes something about the other red and green alliances, and decides to try something similar for himself and Scott. However, it doesn't exactly go as planned.
(for flower husbands week day 1: vow)
AO3 Link
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Jimmy had come to something of a realization over the past few days. All of the other green life and red life alliances were extremely devoted to each other. There was the intensity of whatever Martyn and Ren had going on with the “Red Winter,” Grian literally swearing his life to Scar’s, and even Cleo and Bdubs had their deal with building the Crastle together. And it bothered Jimmy that the same intense devotion wasn’t quite there between him and Scott. They were married, for goodness’ sake! Shouldn’t there be something more than what the others had?
Those thoughts turned over in Jimmy’s head as he watched Scott tend to their sheep. Scott’s giggle rang through the clearing when one of the sheep butted its head against his hand, likely looking for a treat. Jimmy was fairly certain a soft, adoring grin came to his lips at the sound. At that moment, Jimmy had his mind made up. He was going to do something to prove how devoted he was to Scott.
Jimmy resolved to make a plan and do something grand later… but then hesitated. Why should he wait? He knew what he wanted to say and how he felt- besides, part of him was afraid that if he waited any longer, he would die before he had the chance to say what he wanted to. So after gathering some flowers from their home, gently weaving the colorful blooms together into a flower crown, he made his way over to Scott. His husband grinned at him, noticing the flower crown in hand.
“Aww, you made me a flower crown!” he cooed, leaning forward slightly, expecting Jimmy to place it on his head. But part of Jimmy bristled a bit at Scott being the one with his head bowed. That wasn’t how this was supposed to go- Jimmy wanted Scott to be the one with his head held high, not a worry on his mind because he had a red on his side to protect him.
“No- here, hold on,” Jimmy murmured, gently maneuvering Scott so that he was standing upright. Scott flushed a bit at Jimmy’s hand resting on his jaw to tilt his head up, but his expression quickly turned to fond exasperation as Jimmy had to go up on his tiptoes to properly place the flower crown on his head.
“Jimmy, you just made that harder on yourself,” he said with a laugh. One of Jimmy’s hands slipped down to rest on Scott’s cheek, thumb gently smoothing over his face.
“Didn’t make sense, you with your head bowed for me,” Jimmy said softly. Scott’s brow furrowed in confusion, a fond little huff of breath escaping his lips.
“Jimmy, you’re the one not making sense here,” he said. Scott’s confusion only grew when Jimmy’s hands withdrew from him entirely and dropped to one knee before clasping Scott’s hand.
“Scott, I-”
“Jimmy, normally I wouldn’t complain about you getting on your knees, but you’re acting weird,” Scott interrupted with a teasing grin. If Jimmy’s face hadn’t been grayed and decaying, he was sure he would have been furiously blushing.
“Scott!” Jimmy managed to get out. Scott only grinned wider.
“What? All I meant is that you proposed and we’re married already!” Scott said far too innocently. Jimmy rolled his eyes.
“Scott, please. I’m trying to be serious here,” Jimmy huffed. Scott’s grin turned to a concerned frown.
“Jimmy, what’s going on?” he asked softly. Jimmy took a shaky breath.
“Scott, I don’t know how much time I have left-”
“Please don’t say that,” Scott interrupted, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes glistened with unshed tears.
“But I want to promise you that with every day that passes, every step that I take- I want to- I will protect you,” Jimmy said firmly. Scott let out a wet chuckle.
“You can barely protect yourself- I’m fine, I promise,” Scott said, trying to stave off tears. Jimmy shook his head.
“You don’t get it, if something happened to you- I’d never be able to forgive myself,” Jimmy said, squeezing Scott’s hand. He never wanted Scott to be in harm’s way, ever. If there was any way Jimmy could prevent Scott from harm, he was going to take that chance and do whatever it took to keep him safe.
“To me?! Jimmy, what if something happens to you while you’re- you’re on some- some… some half-brained quest to protect me?!” Scott sputtered, free hand gesturing widely. Jimmy let out a breath, shaking his head. Scott just didn’t get it.
“It’d be worth it, if you were safe,” Jimmy said softly. That apparently was the wrong thing to say, as Scott’s expression suddenly turned borderline furious as tears freely streamed down his face.
“I don’t want you to die for me, Jimmy,” Scott fumed. Jimmy blinked up at Scott in confusion.
“I- well I’m not really keen on dying either, but for you it would be worth-” Jimmy was cut off by Scott suddenly kneeling in front of him, ripping his hand out of Jimmy’s grip to instead grab at his shoulders.
“NO! No, that is not happening, ever. We aren’t- you’re talking like we’re Dogwarts or something, Jimmy! You said you didn’t want me bowing your head to you, but I don’t want that from you either!” Scott said, voice trembling and cracking every now and then as he spoke.
“Scott, I just-”
“You just what?! You just thought you could kneel there and say you’d throw your life away for me, and I’m just supposed to be okay with that?! Do you think I value you so little?” Scott said, voice petering off from aghast and angry to something soft and mournful. Scott’s grip on him was borderline painful as his fingers dug into his shoulders, and Jimmy felt something akin to shame curl in his gut at Scott’s teary eyes.
“All the other alliances seem so… devoted. More devoted than us, and we’re married! I just… I dunno, I guess I thought it’d be romantic. I wanted to make some grand proclamation or something… but I didn’t really think it through,” Jimmy said sheepishly. Scott’s expression softened, and he loosened his hold on Jimmy’s shoulders.
“Jimmy… we don’t need some grand proclamation or anything to be devoted to each other- and we sure as hell aren’t doing it on unequal footing. Either we do this together, or not at all,” Scott said gently, but tone leaving no room for argument. JImmy let out a shaky sigh.
“I know. You’re right, I’m sorry. I just… when I heard you laughing with the sheep, I realized I wanted to make sure you could always sound that happy and carefree. But I guess I goofed on that a little,” Jimmy said softly, reaching up to brush away Scott’s tears. He leaned into the touch with an amused little huff.
“It’s okay. And I’m sorry too, for exploding on you a little. You just… the way you were talking scared me,” Scott said, that soft and mournful tone coming back.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jimmy murmured. Scott hummed in acknowledgement, his eyes searching Jimmy’s expression for a moment. Whatever he found, he didn’t like, judging by the wrinkle in his brow.
“You don’t- you do know that I’d never want you to risk yourself for me, right? I’d much rather you live for me,” Scott said gently. Jimmy felt a lump grow in his throat as he tried not to cry.
“I- I’m not sure I know how to,” he confessed softly. Scott looked like he was going to cry again.
“Jimmy…”
“It’s not as bad as you think- I guess my idea of protecting you was more fighting for you, it’s not that I want to die… I guess I just forgot how to live,” Jimmy said with a sniffle, rubbing at his eyes. Scott let out a soft, comforting sound, pulling Jimmy into his arms. Jimmy melted into his embrace, hands grasping at Scott’s back as he let himself break down.
“Then we’ll relearn how to live. We’ll build up our defenses, enchant, make potions… and if we need to fight one day, then we’ll fight. But until then… we live. To have and to hold, remember?” Scott said softly. Jimmy nodded, not wanting to bring up the “until death” half of that vow. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of Scott dying, ever. And as for Jimmy? He was going to live. For as long as he could, he was going to live for Scott. That, more than his desire to protect him, was his solemn vow.
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general mcyt fic taglist: @actuallymothman @corazon10000 @damiensaidno @franticfandomfanatic @gattonero17 @hetapeep41 @meowdy-pickles @space-ace123 @vyeoh
#flower husbands week#flower husbands week 2022#mcyt#3rd life#flower husbands#scott smajor#jimmy solidarity#sage writes
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I've read the "BAK" comic and in issue 30 there was a scene where Knight defeated two big guys from the squad. So who were they?Are they friends with the original characters of yours? Are they okay now? What it like when Arkham Knight himself beats you? And, ahem, did the left one finally change the thousers?
Antoine: Dude, he did that kind of thing all the time. I made a lot of money betting with the newbies. Sure, they hated me after, but I'm sorry, I've been here longer than you. Use your brain.
Jimmy: I KNOW, RIGHT? We should have got some sort of Fight Club thing going. Don't need Supervillain Money when you've made bank in underground gambling.
Trent: He did it to ME. To prove a point to the new batch of rookies, sure, but to ME. I shit you not, he went, 'shoot at me', and I went, 'sir, what the fuck', and he went, 'do it, it's fine'. So okay, whatever, I did, and the next thing I knew, little bastard was on my minigun, and then jumping off my head like I was a goddamn Goomba.
Riley: I was there for that! It was hilarious. Your FACE...priceless. I got two hundred bucks out of it, too.
Trent: And you didn't share?
Riley: No. :)
Mark: Those days were always funny. Some people never learned shit, either. I remember one idiot who kept swearing that 'one day, I'll win!' He never did. Batman got him early on, too, which probably ruined his self-esteem.
Frank: Oh, yeah. Cha-ching. It was always worth coming out to see the new batches because something was gonna happen and it was gonna be funny.
#asks#the arkham knight#the squad#jason's dramatic tendencies#jason todd#he may not be robin anymore#but some things have stuck#namely#'staying on the ground is for suckers'#and#'why yes i am an annoying asshole'
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Anyone else tired of only ever finding destiel recs?
Here's a rec list made for all the great fics that get buried because they're not destiel. It's collaborative, so if you read anything particularly good feel free to send it my way; I'm not taking rpf, w* fics or destiel-centric fics but anything else is welcome.
Chromacity by @crossroads-consoul
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Gabriel, background Dean Winchester/Castiel
Tone: Plot-heavy, slow burn
Genre: Urban fantasy, crime thriller
Warnings: References to domestic abuse, drug use, organised crime, graphic descriptions of murder
173, 315 words 🟨
Law student and closet psychic Sam Winchester gets sucked into a world of mystery and peril when he begins spending time with the nomadic P.I. who frequents his workplace.
The writing is great once the author has found their feet, but where this fic really excels is the worldbuilding. The pacing is phenomenal too, with the shorter serial killer storylines balancing out the very slow burn and gradual reveals about the world across the series.
Submitted by @mansplainmanipulatemalewife
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Kidnapping, Car Thefts and Other Hazards of Dating by CrowleyLovesUSUK
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Gabriel, background Dean Winchester/Castiel
Tone: Comedic, high stakes
Genre: Human AU, crime thriller
Warnings: Kidnapping, arson, organised crime implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced torture, references to SA
79, 659 Words 🟥
When faking your own kidnapping, it's generally considered wise to avoid actually getting kidnapped in the process.
The characterisations of Cas and Gabriel especially are delightful in this one, managing to fit the tone and style of the AU without losing their authenticity, and the author does a fantastic job with keeping tension high while keeping everything lighthearted and witty.
Submitted by @mansplainmanipulatemalewife
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Straight from the Heart (Marry Me) by @demonicsoulmates
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Gabriel
Tone: Fluff
Genre: Slice of life
Warnings: none <3
1216 words 🟨
A lazy Saturday.
This one's only short, but it manages that fluffy tone without feeling childish or saccharine, and does it without becoming ooc.
Submitted by @mansplainmanipulatemalewife
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Some Things Never Change by Zana_Zira
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Tone: Whump + comfort
Genre: Cannon complient, slice of life
Warnings: vomiting
4775 words 🟢
Sam falls ill for the first time since returning from Stanford, and it's bad.
The tone is spot-on for early spn, especially when it comes to the dialogue.
Submitted by @the-slythering-raven
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Sweetshop Shenanigans by Aria_Lerendeair
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Gabriel
Tone: pre-smut
Genre: Human AU, meet-cute
Warnings: None
1051 Words 🟨
Sam gets his hot chocolate after a long day of college courtesy of an extremely flirtatious barrista.
Part of a longer and *spicier* series - strong characterisations and they have great chemistry.
Submitted by @emotionalsupportknife
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All About Ramen by LiberAmens414
Relationships: Sam Winchester/Gabriel
Tone: Whump + comfort
Genre: Human AU
Warnings: Food insecurity, hunger, mental health issues
2484 Words 🟨
Sam weighs up whether or not it's worth fighting a stranger for the last pack of Ramen.
From a technical standpoint it's a very well-written fic, but what really stands out is the sense of compassion woven through it.
Submitted by @the-slythering-raven
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Bad Faith by sheepishlion
Relationships: none
Tone: serious
Genre: case fic
Warnings: heavy discussion of bodily autonomy, guilt, character death, allusions to disordered eating and self harm
5851 words 🟢
Sam and Jimmy talk angelic posession
This whole fic is so hard-hitting you would not believe truly some unforgettable lines
Submitted by @mansplainmanipulatemalewife
#hopefully people will keep adding to this and we'll be able to separate it by length bc most of the stuff rn is once shots unfortunately#spn#supernatural#fic#i apologise for the fact its almost entirely about gabriel apparently he's popular with the people that actually wanted to get involved
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My writing workshop gives us 250-500 word prompts every week. This one was "describe how your character would do a mundane task." I'll probably be sharing more of these if I like how they turn out.
He removed the bridge pins one by one, pausing only slightly when the G pin refused to budge. Brow furrowed, he reached for the string winder and used the slot at the end to jimmy it free. The first time his mother had caught him doing this she cautioned him against it, suggesting instead a pair of pliers wrapped in cloth so as not to mark the wood. Even with pliers so easily found in Alex’s house, Elliot couldn’t bring himself to follow this advice. The bridge was already marked with several years’ worth of nicks by now.
It was important to Elliot that anyone who beheld Winona knew she was a loveworn guitar. The instrument itself was a trooper; he’d taken it with him virtually everywhere he went since he was ten. He thought if Winona didn’t appropriately look the part, people might assume he carried the acoustic around for attention – which, technically, he did, but he preferred if he looked like he knew what he was doing when people saw him with it.
He didn’t want to come across as careless, or egocentric, or pretentious, or amateurish, or compensating for something. He knew about the “guy with an acoustic at a party” stereotype and wished to avoid it. He wanted to seem talented but humble, conscientious but casual, eccentric but approachable – all qualities he felt he possessed, but often doubted that he left any proof. He tried very hard to look on the outside how he felt on the inside, which was sometimes tricky to do when he contained so many self-contradictions.
It was a lot to worry about, regulating the way people saw him, and his attachment to Winona only complicated the issue. But none of it was enough to make him stop bringing the guitar with him everywhere he went.
Rather than replacing them one at a time, Elliot restrung his acoustic by removing all six strings before laying out any new ones. His method took longer, but he preferred doing it this way because it left the fretboard free and clear for cleaning. With a little lemon oil on a soft cloth, he cleared away the buildup of dirt and gunk that left a film where his fingers touched, one space at a time. He touched up the bridge, too, removing the saddle before oiling down the dark band of wood and its collection of scratches. With this done, he opened the package of new strings next to him on his bedside, unspooling, cutting, and winding each one into the tuning pegs, moving methodically from thickest to thinnest.
He liked to put on old country and blues CDs while working on Winona. It gave him the sensation of being momentarily displaced in time, going through the same motions Charley Patton and Etta Baker and Jimmie Rodgers might’ve done while restringing their guitars decades ago.
#ink#the valley#original writing#guy who thinks theres something wrong with him but really hes just 17
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