04/26/2024

It's a metaphor!

What's a meta for?

Nothin! What's a meta for you!

*wheezes for six minutes straight without taking a breath*

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. In this Bible story, Jesus describes Himself as a vine (like a grapevine), and His disciples as its branches. Branches can only bear fruit while connected to the main vine. If their connection is severed or tainted, they wither and die, and then they're pruned, suitable only for being tossed in a fire. Jesus is warning His disciples that their mission's fruitfulness depends on their continued, dedicated, healthy connection with Him and His Father. 2. In this cartoon, after hearing Jesus's metaphor, Peter declares that he and the other apostles (the "branches" in Jesus's metaphor) will "stick" with the vine. A "stick" is a long, thin piece of wood (like a branch), but "stick" can also mean "stay connected to." This is an inferior pun, because while the word "stick" has the two above meanings, only one of those meanings makes grammatical sense in Peter's comment (the latter). 3. Jesus replies that the vine (Him, in the metaphor) will be "rooting" for them. "Rooting" can either mean "laying down roots" (as in a tree growing its roots into the ground), or "cheering on" (like an audience cheering for a sports team). This is a superior pun to Peter's, because both meanings make grammatical sense in Jesus's comment. His declaration can be taken to mean either (1) that, as the vine, He'll provide the apostles with roots to nourish their fruitfulness, or (2) that, as their teacher, friend, and Lord, He'll be cheering them on and supporting them in their mission.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is another "Tomics Resurrection," where I have plucked the desiccated husk of an old cartoon from the withered branch of the past, and gorged it with so many steroids and hormones that it blasphemes nature but looks way more colorful! Also, it's been slightly reworded to flow better while maintaining the meaning of the passage; the disciples have been moved inside to the Last Supper, since this reading takes place either during or just after; and the image of the grapevine is in the second panel now, including a lush branch and a withered branch to illustrate what Jesus is saying. Tell me, how does it compare?

Can't get over this Jesus would not say that

Grandpa lost his Cane and now he’s no longer Able 🩼

I may not be religious at all, but I'm sure Jesus would be a great pal

Going a little ✨insane✨gurl My favorite magical girls fail doing a rasengan idk

Merry Christmas yall

one time in the christian discord server i’m in i mentioned something about “jesus” and “joshua” technically being the same name, because language is weird, and that sparked a discussion about whether or not jesus was at the josh fight and in the end the consensus was “he was definitely there in spirit but probably didn’t actually participate, but it would be extremely funny if he did because imagine going to battle for the memes and getting whapped with a pool noodle and you look and it’s god. also letting a little kid win is definitely something he would do”

i was going to schedule this for april 3rd but i got so excited about this i almost passed out

I forgot to put this here too-

Jouno jesus meme

+non-memeable versions

03/31/2024

Happy Easter! He is risen! Hallelujah!

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. Mary Magdalene makes early trips to Jesus's tomb, maybe to anoint His Body with funeral oils, or maybe just to cry. In this cartoon, she refers to these trips as her "mourning routine." The word "mourning" (grieving) sounds like "morning" (the early part of the day). This pun implies that Mary's early daily ritual (her "morning routine") is one of sorrow (hence, "mourning routine"). 2. As Mary approaches Jesus's tomb in John's version of the story, she sees that it's open and hurries to the apostles to have them inspect it. In this cartoon, however, she's too exhausted to recognize what the open tomb implies (that the dead Jesus has somehow left His tomb). She continues into the tomb to wait for Him to return, and only after several minutes does the event literally dawn on her. This particular sunrise has seen the Son rise.

At the Transfiguration…

Simon: “Omagoodness, Rabbi!!!! This is so GREAT!!! You know what we should do??? We should build THREE SHELTERS!!! You know, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah!!!!”

Jesus:

TC: jEsUs!!!

day 28

its jesus! say hello jesus! JWHAKWJSKEJHDKQHGFIXNWJRB