do you ever think how the faithful, the elendili, the elf-friends were predominantly descendants of bëorians, the vassals of finrod the faithful, the edennil, the friend-of-men? because i do.

Elros: I have an idea

Gil Galad: We are not setting anything on fire

Elros: Why would you think I’d suggest something like that?

Gil Galad: I’ve worked with Elrond for almost a century. I made an educated guess.

Elros *while giving Elrond a high five*: Well I guess great minds think alike.

Gil Galad: ….

Gil Galad: The idea that one of you runs a kingdom terrifies me.

Elrond: Bold of you to assume it’s only one of us.

A Zionist Jew and and Anti-Zionist Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve Jews."

i dont know how to explain it but joining extremely small fandoms with only a few people in them feels like this

evil julian baumgartner who retouches solely with oil paints without an isolation layer and also varnishes with polyurethane

hot take movies haven’t gotten worse, they’ve stayed bad but in different ways. you think there were more good movies in the past because there were, because the past is pretty huge and also the good movies last longer than the bad ones

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

I have a very rough idea in my head that I don't think I can clearly articulate beyond "And that concludes tonight's reports on German air forc—WHAT'S THIS? IT'S KING ARTHUR WITH A STEEL CHAIR"

Silmarillion Onion Headlines: Part Three, The Havens at Sirion

Cirdan: Area Man Proudly Accepts Exit-Row Responsibilities

Gil-Galad: Military Now Considering Limiting Soldiers With Severe PTSD To 3 Combat Tours

Elwing: Everything You Worked So Hard For Lying in Splinters At Your Feet

Earendil: ‘Is It Too Late To Audition?’ Asks Perfect Actor For Role, Poking Head Into Room Just As Producers Were Giving Up Hope

Elrond and Elros: Report: More American Children Raised By Carjackers Who Didn’t Realize There Was Someone In Backseat

Pengolodh: Search Continues For Articulate Witness Of Tragedy

oh yes it's that time of year

doesn’t matter. what happens to the centaur?

when a centaur dies, the horse half obviously goes to hell, but the human half ascends to heaven, detached and missing its lower horse body, forced to go about the rest of its afterlife mourning the loss of something vile and profane, which is in a sense its own kind of hell

someone needs to make a chart of his morals

you really thought the How Dare You Say We Piss On The Poor website would be able to comprehend this?? smh

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

How to put “wrote fan-fiction” on your résumé:

Leveraged an inventory of established fictional character and setting elements to generate a disruptive custom-curated narrative entertainment asset.

speak your sweet nothings to me Julian Baumgartner

u could watch 15 baumgartner restoration videos and u'd think u know what the next step is by that point and be like oh yea so now julian's gonna stabilize the painting by placing it on the hot table and julian's like oh no no because this is a painting on wood and not on canvas we're going to do localized stabilization instead use a tacking iron with siliconized mylar release film. or you'll be like ok so because there's a tear in the canvas he's just going to do some bridging and julian will be like wrong again dumbass! the tear is too big so we're going to humidify the painting then hot table it and then add some washi cozo for stability like ok mr. unexpected i'm at the edge of my seat! i'm listening????