#ive just been thinking so much about all the stuff he did to my mum | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

altschmerzes · 10 months

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hey saw ur comment on the man city fix it fic ab Jamie’s fathers death & was wondering what u disliked ab the Jamie’s mum and Simon part? not judging or anything im just curious!!

yeaaaaaaah so! from what ive seen at least this is a not particularly common opinion which is fine, im aware i have some particular biases and priorities and whatnot in this area, but it just… i didnt like that stuff at all. it really put me off actually, for a couple reasons. i'll get into why, but i know a lot of people like Really Loved that stuff and especially his mom - and it also gets a little down on season 3 and the writing team as a whole at some points lmao - so i'll put it under a cut.

(this got. very long. im so sorry.)

it basically boils down to a couple things: 1. what they presented us with doesn't hold water if poked literally at all in any direction, 2. it made me feel a little uncomfortable given the way everything else in jamie's arc played out, and 3. if they were going to do something like this, they needed WAY more time and narrative space to execute it well in general and specifically for ME to execute it in a way that didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

there are a few things that i generally dread when you have a character who's presented to have some serious trauma related to their family and specifically to an abusive parent, and one of those things is the sudden inclusion of another parent in there who is just. everything is totally fine and normal and happy and not at all complicated with them! it always makes me feel weird and bad when that happens, especially when there is no explanation provided for how that like. fits in with the abuse we know they experienced as well. that is a matter of personal preference, and i can own that. i just don't like it, and it makes me feel weird and uneasy. and that's part of it here, but what's also part of it is that i think that - my personal feelings about this type of character choice overall aside - they did not execute it well given the story they'd already presented us with, the way they used these new characters, and how much time they spent on it.

the image they presented of jamie's mom and stepdad is like… very simple and positive and shiny and uncomplicated. it's just good. they just love and support him and are a positive and affectionate active presence. and that might seem like an unfair characterization of it because we saw very little and we know very little of what their relationship is actually like - we don't know what might be complicated, what might be messy, how often they talk, etc - but that’s honestly part of my issue here. we were given a sliver of a glimpse into jamie's mom and his relationship with her and his stepdad when jamie as a character is someone who is hugely defined by his family history and the baggage and trauma and danger associated with it. if they were going to do this, they needed to spend way more time on it. they needed to introduce her earlier, do something to make it jive with what we were already presented about her: some vague mentions, half of which were in past tense, and all of which seemed to imply very strongly that if she were alive (which there was a lot of confusion about!) then they were likely to some degree estranged, because it seemed pretty clear with the 'i don't know if she would be [proud] lately' bit that he literally did not know what she thought of him in recent years. and like. it seems like i'm nitpicking, but again, this is a character who has been so strongly based in and defined by his family and the like. past and current danger and trauma associated with it.

especially given how little time or attention was given to everything else with his family, it was just way too late in the game to introduce these characters and be able to do them and their relationship with the existing characters justice. like you’ve already got a complicated story you’re skipping most of and not giving its due do you really need to add more really complicated stuff in there. and then just go actually it's not complicated don't worry about it :) like. that just doesn't work for me.

so that's where i'm at like, not only do i inherently dislike this sort of element introduced with this type of character, which is a me problem, i also think the story they presented in that episode with his mom and simon just flat out didn't make sense and they did not have the time to make it make sense even if they'd tried, which they didn't. like... if things are just fine and normal and easy with them and she’s just great and loving and supportive it’s like i. So What Happened, Then.

it makes his entire arc make less sense. if she's just Been Here what happened? why did he need to be reminded that not EVERYONE in his life was out to get him? why did keeley have to tell him to stop battling everyone that was just trying to help him? why is he so isolated and adrift at the beginning of season two? why did she never attend a single match? why did we never see him text or call or mention her in a contemporary way? like there COULD be answers to those things that make sense with what they presented, but we didn't get any of those answers and those are big questions to me given they comprise like... all of jamie's character arc lmao. at the end of the day, throwing in the stuff with his mom feels... really disrespectful to the story they wrote with him (that they already fell down on the job with) to just throw that in there with no consideration or attention paid to how it fits with or impacts anything already established.

i truly don't think that every question needs to be answered in a story. i am not saying that. i'm not saying someone needed to turn to the audience and go here's the logistic details of exactly how and when everything that happened with jamie and his parents happened. but there are some serious issues with like, telling a coherent story, and utilizing the extremely limited narrative space that a secondary character in an ensemble show can be afforded. (especially when in season three it really felt like they were already racing through characters and plot lines and backstory stuff like the goal was to just drop info just to Have It and then never address or do anything with it at all.) why did they do that, is what i keep going back to. you're telling a story with very limited space and a lot of characters. so what was the reason for that stuff to be there? so that someone could lay the 'yea he was a dick but he made you into this person! you're so strong now!' foundation for ted telling jamie to forgive his dad and 'disappointed teacher face' him into saying 'thank you' after the 'fuck you'? or was it just fanservice that you didn't think needed to fit with the rest of the story narratively or thematically? because that's where i keep going back to as well.

it just... and this is the bitchier, more spiteful part of me saying this, the part that was PROFOUNDLY let down by the way they handled the aspects of jamie's arc to do with his family and with the abuse he suffered, but it feels like an attempt to use happy sparkly fanservice-y funny and feel-good scenes with his adorable mom and sweet stepdad to like. pull way back on the rest of his whole situation with his family like see no he’s fine! isn’t it great how funny and adorable his mom is! isnt his stepdad fun! everything is fine actually things with his dad are just ~complicated because james drinks :) (and then all he needs to do about that is grow up and forgive, he's just a melodramatic mama's boy, the pain is his fault and he'll be fine once he Forgives, and rehab fixes everything). i don't have some kind of conspiracy that this was their actual reasoning but that's how it hit to me - whoops we don't actually want to deal with the abuse so we're gonna sweep it way under the couch and look! see! here's his cute fun mom isn't she great! (He's Fine Don't Worry About It, His Family Is Actually Sooooo Supportive!)

but yeah that's the bitchy and unfair part of me so. that's not really my main point.

(i also gotta say everything about that sequence with jamie and company at his mom's house feels like... tissue paper thin and very fucking weird from both a narrative and a logistical point of view. the stuff with the actual people of his mom and stepdad aside, what the hell was up with his room? what was that poster of keeley doing there. when did that go up. how old was he when he put it there. yeah she's older than him by a fair bit but not THAT much older. and if he was putting it up as like, a teenager or something, why is the rest of that room decorated for a seven year old. parents preserve their kids rooms like shrines this is true but the idea of a like, jamie in his mid/late teens or whatever putting that poster of keeley up but also sleeping in a little kid's bed still is like... did you think about this at all. it really does not seem like you did. At All. it just goes to my spiteful fringe theory about that whole sequence which is “oh this is pure 100% gratuitous backpatting fanservice that nobody actually thought about in any real way whatsoever”)

sorry this got so long but i have a lot of thoughts on this and they get kicked up every time i see posts gushing about how much people loved georgie or those scenes or whatnot like everyone is of course entitled to their opinion and i don't hold it against anyone! but that stuff hit way different for me and just added insult to injury in an episode that generally seemed to handle jamie and his situation in a way i found cringeworthy and weird at best and offensive and victim blaming at worst.

#gav gab #gav answers #ted lasso spoilers #abuse cw #long post #augh. anyways. if you disagree with me on this you don't really need to tell me so i know most of the fandom like #loved that stuff #and please dont yell at me (general request)#just giving some thoughts as they were Asked For #and i appreciate you asking anon!! i like talking about my thoughts and opinions on stuff #even if it makes me nervous lmao

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quodekash · 10 months

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GUESS WHO'S BACK

finally time to finish the last fifteen minutes (and one second) of our skyy 2

based on my current track record, itll take about an hour to get through those 15 minutes but its fine, im prepared

or maybe im not prepared. im so scared

hey that rhymed!

okay. stop stalling. time to actually watch it.

holy hell wish me luck

i still dont know how i feel about them

i actually dont remember them much

i think they were really controlling?

WAIT THATS RIGHT I HATE THEM

his dad SUCKS, and his mum said that the only way she would let him become a teacher is if he went to freaking america

why america

COME TO AUSTRALIA INSTEAD

the amount of times that people in thai bls have gone to freaking america instead of australia is astounding

WE ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD EDUCATION SYSTEM

well... its not necessarily good.

buT ITS BETTER THAN FREAKING AMERICA

WE HAVE GUN LAWS

WE HAVE SYSTEMS AND STUFF THAT ARE MORE SIMILAR TO THAILAND THAN AMERICA

WE'RE CLOSER GEOGRAPHICALLY, AND WE'RE SUPER MULTICULTURAL, PARTICULARLY WHEN IT COMES TO ASIAN COMMUNITIES, SO (i think) YOU'RE STATISTICALLY MORE LIKELY TO FIND PEOPLE WHO KNOW YOUR BIRTH LANGUAGE THAN YOU WILL IF YOU GO TO FREAKING AMERICA

i could rant about this all day but ive only been watching for 30 seconds and its been 12 minutes already so im gonna keep watching

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DONT APOLOGISE TO THOSE BITCHES

oh. they like him?

hmm...

well i still dont like them

EEEEE

HIS SMILEEEE

HE LOVES HIS HUSBANDDDD

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

dude your eyes are so bloodshot. have you slept??

you should sleep my guy

and no, having sex with your super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot boyfriend does not count as sleep

(pls tell me someone got that reference)

let's be real, that's a really good looking cake

i rly wanna eat it

i want cake now

why is she nodding

are they about to give their approval for marriage?

pls let phuphatian get married

pls let there be a special episode where they get married

i dont want this to be the end of them

i love them too much to say goodbye

it feels a lot like a marriage approval thing

but also... does he love tian the most? or is the one thing he loves most like. his nose hair plucker or something.

ARE THEY GETTING MARRIED OR NOT, IM STILL CONFUSED

i have a question

have they spoken to tian about this? i still dont really understand what theyre talking about, but have they spoken to tian about it?

also: where the hell is tian right now

nooooo

bye bye tul :(

i love you tul

marriage????? maybe???????? im still not sure

okay, okay, okay, so he's turned around, he's not facing phu right now, and when he turns around, phu's gonna be on one knee???? maybe????

DID I NOT JUST

OH MY GOSH

HOLY MCFLIPPING BAJOOLIES

THEYRE ACTUALLY DOING IT???

HE'S TEARING UP

SO AM I

AND SO IS TIAN

I AM SOBBING PROFUSELY

HE DID THE HAND KISS

HE DID THE FREAKING HAND KISS

I AM NOT OKAY

AAAAAAAAAAAA

he interlocked their fingers.

he interlocked their freaking fingers.

GOEJRBSDGOVJKLBERSODUFGJK;LBVERD

GFIU43EWJGKBOPUVWEBRS

I ALWAYS SAY THEYRE HUSBANDS

BUT NOW THEY CAN ACTUALLY BE HUSBANDS

wait

frick

gay marriage still isnt legal in thailand

well... i mean they can technically get married in another country

they should get married in australia

and invite me to the wedding

WAIT

FLASHBACKS???

STOP

STOP IT

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS

I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR FLASHBACKS

NOOOO IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

its gotten to the point where im sobbing about how short he is

NOOO IS THAT IT???

OH HELL YES TY P'AOF FOR ALWAYS HAVING AN END CREDITS SCENE THING

AWWWW HE'S CONTINUING THE STORY ONLINEEE

they gonna fu-

also we got to see yod again!!

i love them all so much

well. that's the end of me. i am dead.

phutian are officially husbands, and im gonna go cry for the rest of the year

#quodekash watches our skyy 2 despite desperately needing to sleep #our skyy 2 #a tale of thousand stars #atots #os2 #1000stars #phutian #phuphatian #our skyy x 1000 stars #our skyy x atots #earthmix #earth pirapat #mix sahaphap

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 years

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thinking about clara telling 12 he made courtney feel not special and 12 at the end of the lie of the land telling bill “because in amongst seven billion, theres someone like you” and bill looking like

and 11 telling rita in the god complex "offer a child a suitcase full of sweets and they’ll take it. offer someone all of time and space and they’ll take that too. which is why you shouldnt” in that fucking self-flagellating but also proud way they do and rita says “i dont know what youre talking about but whatever it is, i have a feeling you just did it again” because they did

they know they know they know what they do and clara didnt have to tell them theyve been doing this long enough they know. and they dont like it but theyre not gonna stop doing it either which must be Great for the self-worth feelings. they have a job to do and they cant stop doing it but they also cant do it alone but also anyone they take with them will most likely get hurt or die

this is nothing new but it’s just. im thinking about the way they do it. the way they absolutely know the effect they have on people. “you make people want to impress you. you make it so they dont want to let you down”

how casually 12 throws out that line, so genuine, i 100% believe it feels true when they say stuff like that, but also bill just had a Bad 6 months. he didnt have to say this. bill asked why he puts up with humans he could say something nice about humanity as a whole, but he doesnt, he singles her out, “i put up with the rest of them because sometimes theres someone like you”. it’s sweet and i dont think it’s a lie and i dont even think it’s a conscious manipulation but like

it’s just like, a really good way to keep people with you when you make them feel like theyre at the centre of the universe like that. the universe revolves around the doctor and when youre in the eye of the storm with them youre so special. you know more than regular people, you get to know all the secrets of the universe, you get to know about aliens, you get to play hero along with them!

ROSE: I can't tell her. I can't even begin. She's never going to forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good? DOCTOR: Middling. ROSE: You're so useless. DOCTOR: Well, if it's this much trouble, are you going to stay here now? ROSE: I don't know. I can't do that to her again, though. DOCTOR: Well, she's not coming with us. ROSE: No chance. DOCTOR: I don't do families. [...] ROSE: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap. Every conversation with you just goes mental. There's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on planet Earth who knows they exist.

being the object of the doctor’s affection is i think probably a bit of a horrifying experience and not a position you really want to be in, but as long as youre still in that Comments About How Theyre Putting Up With All Of Humanity Because They Like You stage and havent yet reached the Tearing The Sky Apart For You stage, it probably feels really good (do i look susceptible to companion syndrome in this post hkfjghj)

and like i said it’s not that they dont actually love their companions. of course they do. it’s just that if youre terrified of being abandoned, making people feel special like this is a good way to make them not leave you

and i think 13 probably did her best not to do this again. she didnt invite them along to new adventures at the end of 11x1. she initiates goodbyes i think three times (”ive stayed too long, i should get back to finding my tardis”, “im almost gonna miss you”, “guess we’re done, nice having you aboard”) before the fam ask to come with her

and sure she plays the kicked puppy a bit in 11x4 but she waits for yaz to invite her, shes relatively passive, actually for the doctor shes incredibly passive. and she enjoys letting them into the tardis in 11x2, but she doesnt tease really secrets and wonders if they come travel with her. she doesnt really introduce them to the tardis, she doesnt say what the name means, she doesnt let them touch anything, nobody says “it’s bigger on the inside”, she doesnt invite them to all of time and space. she doesnt suggest it could be theirs to see. i dont think she ever does. just what the fam got to see accidentally was already enough to convince them.

i really need to rewatch so i might be wrong about this, but i dont think she ever makes them feel special the same way the doctor did with companions before. she makes them feel special like a tour guide maybe, with her little points and stars system, and calling them best friends, small mundane ways that dont show off her age or history or influence. i dont think she ever suggests theyre more important than other people. i think she emphasises her love for humans as a whole. i think thats the impression they get from her. i think thats what they would say if you asked them about her. “yeah she loves humanity. me? yeah she probably likes me, we’re friends”

she never puts them in a position where theyre the only one who can save the day/world/planet/universe. she always puts herself between them and the problem. she always goes ‘no im the doctor, thats my job’. she takes that responsibility so they dont have to. they take it! when they feel like theyre forced to! when the doctor’s gone in 12x2 or 12x10, they take that responsibility for sure. i think they want to, not just yaz but especially yaz. but they feel unprepared. the doctor hasnt prepared them for this bc she doesnt want them in that position bc in that position they die.

and clearly this has not been ideal. this has not led to an ideal doctor-companion dynamic, we’ve seen how this has hurt 13 as well as especially i think yaz and ryan deeply. but the strategy has been succesful. she lost her last two companions bc she didnt get between them and the problem. with bill literally, with clara metaphorically. (going back even further this might also be the case for amy and donna and rose. she let them into positions she should have been in taking decisions she should have taken)

and however badly things have gone for 13, the strategies of Get Between Them And The Problem, and Be The Doctor Dont Let Them Do It, have WORKED. she GOT THEM HOME. if yaz doesnt die, and im willing to bet money she doesnt, she got them all home safe and sound

14′s relationship with their companions will probably be a response to what went wrong in this round and it will have its own pitfalls that 15 then gets to fix but theyre trying, theyre learning. one step forward two steps back i guess. a fun little tango with death

#im curious to see how 14's relationship with their compainons will look #and how they introduce themself #and how the companion ends up travelling with them

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russellsppttemplates · 11 months

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heyy girl!! i hope youre okay! ive seen so much tiktoks about pregnant women crying over silly stuff because of the pregnancy hormones. it give me an idea about george and his pregnant gf/wife crying bc he needs to travel for races or because she cant eat her fav sandwich from a starbucks. george would make fun of her but then he would see her pout and feel bad about laughing. ive wrote it kinda messy, but i hope you understand what i mean😭

have a great day/night xx

Tw: pregnancy

"Darling, have you seen my shorts?", your husband asked while you tidied some sheets away and tucked them into the drawer where they belonged, "it's raining, George, why do you need them?", you asked nonchalantly, "to bring to the race", and it hit you. Before you noticed it, tears were falling down your face as you tried your best to wipe them, "hey, hey, you're okay, darling, what's the matter?", your husband said once he heard you, "you're leaving tomorrow, because you're going to the race", you explained between some hiccups, "I am, I told you last week that I'd be travelling with the team", he tried his best to figure out what was going on, "I know you did, I think I forgot about it for a while and now I remembered it again", you said as you wiped the tears with the sleeve of the hoodie you were wearing, "and here I am crying my eyes out", you giggled and George seemed to finally calm down, "it's the hormones, isn't it?", he teased, "yes, and I am a mess. Cara called me today and our nephew said he missed me, so I sat in our bed and cried for a bit before I got up to make lunch", you slightly mocked yourself too, opening your arms so George could give you a cuddle.

"I was in a rush last night making all of these, but they all turned out okay, I think", George's mother, Alison, said as she set a cake in the table, "they all look incredible, mum", your husband complimented as everyone grabbed their plate to pick which dessert they fancied, "Sorry I couldn't make the lime cheesecake, dear", Alison said, "the limes in the shop didn't look that good and I ran out of time also". And that's how it began again, tears flowing as your nephew noticed, "aunt Y/N, are you feeling okay?", he said as he put his hand on your arm, "I'm fine, don't worry", you said in between tears as you felt everyone's eyes on you, "I was just really hoping for the cheesecake, but it's fine, don't worry", you comforted him before looking at George, who was softly rubbing your back while chuckling, "baby has a very sweet tooth, okay?", you pouted as Alison apologised, "it's been like this, and I don't want to sound spoiled or anything, it really doesn't bother me, but now I cry at everything really. George didn't have the polo I really like to see him on when we got in the car and I had to pout my way out of my misery", you explained while everyone chuckled too.

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

#inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #george russell blurb

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vanillatalc · 6 months

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im not doing well in my mind atm :/ it kind of sucks + idk what to do about it... earlier me and benno were walking to the co-op and he was like "you are RADIATING sad" or st and i was like please dont talk to me about my feelings outside lol im literally not about to start crying in the co-op

we did fuck when we got hoem for the first time in a few weeks bc of the month-long period which like. calmed me down enough to chill for some hours but its 4am now + im feeling bad again lol :( need to go to bed but im feeling v unhappy at the thought of lying in bed worrying... i might just take several valiums and be done w/ it tbh

hes been fine the past few days! so you'd think id be fine too but tbh im just in my "borrowing grief from the future" era

im okay like im not in a terrible state and im able to fulfil my commitments and stuff but there is way too much crying every day for me to be like, things are going well. and also this sounds insane probably but i know im doing bad bc i feel physically bloody awful all the time + also ive started watching archival footage of the AIDS crisis in san fran in 1982 again. which is never a good sign

i know my mum is gonna phone soon too and give me more insane advice

i showed one of her texts to ana (last month - when i was feeling desperate enough to ask MY MOTHER for advice LOOOL) and ana laughed so much they made this meme:

also this whole interaction made me laugh

SHES NOT THAT FUCKING BAD!

#sorry 4 whining so much this month but this is my blog etc

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micanthrope · 9 months

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Ok im a teeensy bit late to Heartstopper s2 coming out (no pun intended) but i just binged the whole thing and Wow.

After s1 last year I had really high expectations for season two and it did NOT disappoint

I tried not to keep it too spoilery lol ⬇️

First of all the recap was really enjoyable with all the cast members and i watched the whole thing even though i was all caught up. Usually recaps are just a bunch of important scenes from the last season but i really liked what they did!

After last season i really did want to see more of the side characters, Issac in particular. I feel like season 1 mostly focused of the relationship between Nick and Charlie but season 2 had all these side storylines that gave so much more depth to the side characters.

One of my favourites was Imogen getting explored more with her friendship with Nick and her relationship with Ben. In season 1 i didnt really care for her, but now i think she's definitely one of my top three characters, the others being Elle and Darcy

And can we talk about Darcy?? The ending of episode 9 and throughout 10 they showed how her relationship with her mum was.

I think it was really important to show that because Heartstopper is a show about queerness, and while i love that all if not most of the other characters have supportive parents, it's important to show that not every queer experience has that. I didn't, and i really empathized with Darcy right then.

Another thing about Darcy, the birthday present she gave Tara was actually iconic. Love that for her <3

And Charlie's parents make an appearance

Charlie's parents' reaction to him telling them about Nick was kind of surprising tbh, i thought they'd be more happy for him.

Im so glad his family got to meet Nick's, and that scene where Nick told off his dad really just. Hit in the heart. He really doesn't give a fuck anymore and that's amazing.

It was also really satisfying to see Tori kick David for saying that stuff about Charlie lol

I loved the scene of Tara's birthday. It just felt really fun. And Nick gathering the courage to come out to everyone!! It got a bit awkward, but I'm really proud of him for that <3

Elle and Tao have happened!! I really loved seeing Elle so happy and successful, getting accepted to Lambert. When she came out in her prom dress she looked so pretty i just wanted to go into the screen and hug her. It's just so liberating to see another trans person so happy. My dysphoria's been really bad lately, mostly because of me being sent to a religious school. It's comforting to know i might be her one day. Seeing trans rep on screen is just. Fuck i love her sm.

That last scene had me crying actual tears. I don't wanna say too much bc im trying not to spoil too much!! But wow. That hit so much harder than any seasin finale ive seen before, except maybe The Good Place. Im so happy to see Charlie overcome all his past traumas and be so happy. Because I used to do that too. And i can really resonate with Charlie, because I also got past that. And those last few frames dude??? Fuck. Yes. I've come to love Charlie so much. And i just. Yeah.

I could go on abt Heartstopper forever lol. I hope s2 hits the media as hard as s1 did. And season 3 is official!!! September 2024, only a year from now. The actors have done amazing, and im so looking forward to s3!!!

#heartstopper #heartstopper show #heartstopper season 2 #elle argent #charlie spring #nick nelson

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pitynostars · 2 years

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rewatching PotD properly let's gooo

"is there anyone out there" "yes." This was hot

"what am I doing, I've got a date to get to" is Dan talking ABT Diane ???

The idea of doing an EP about just the cyber TLs would be so interesting imo ajdkkfdjks... Like they're not converted humans but that's their whole deal usually so like....

"don't get shot" *Dan gets shot* prime comedy

"don't lose my sonic" patronising 13 i hate u

Did anyone else expect Dan to turn evil here the way he hesitated over the controls? XD

The alien shows them what they want right ???? Why does the doctor see a random kid?

"I'm the doctor I'm going to protect you" "the doctor lies" lmao

Ive seen people say like. The train CGI the painting CGI is rlly bad but honestly I can never notice but I don't rlly have eyes for that sort of thing

Ace and Tegan Skype friends <3 the ending should have been like this w all the companions where they're all just swapping adventure stories rather than the support group thing

"should we pick u up again in 24hrs" so Dan is on and off the TARDIS at this point ??? Having dates ??? Assuming w Diane but the only person we see him w in the rest of te EP is Graham so I mean....

"Yaz u and I can see where the cyber masters took that child" so... Yaz saw it as a kid too? Did I mishear the line ABT it looking how u want

"it's not my life" hmm I buy that BC we saw his life before of pretending to b the museum guide and helping out at the food bank and stuff he's a community guyTM sure hate that this is so weirdly rushed less i guess "I can attack it now because I've been with you" I buy less lmao... He's had no growth at all??? Also the way it's framed like he's talking to the doc is so odd when he spent more time w Yaz (unless they've been travelling for more than 3 years ???)

The doctor saying "homes important" just makes me HOWL tho ngl

"I'll b kipping on mum and dads sofa tonight" .... Where have u been sleeping all the other 24 hr breaks youve appaz been dropped off for ???

"not one for goodbyes" idk I buy that w 13 we saw the whole "one happy one sad" the hug goodbye for Ryan and graham

...so why can't 13 tell yaz about this traitor dalek??

also the concept of a dalek realising theyve strayed from their og mission does actually kind of slap but we did just see daleks v daleks in revolution so i'm glad this wasnt the main plot again

sacha dhawans acting<3<3

the scene where he looks in the tsarina (?)'s eyes and he's like "are my eyes not full of certainty" and u see him reflected in her eyes.... SICK. have they mentioned the master is kind of hypnotic yet in this era before this?

where are the dhawan telling the tsar to take a holiday vs donna telling caecilius and family to take a holiday in pompeii parallels.

are they saying dhawan master replaced rasputin nd made an alt universe with this cyberplanet in the sky? or is there some historical note about there being something in the sky at that time (?)

i love that the doctor and yaz both barely react to the hahahahahhaha tardis there's no like. wtf. moment they just head straight in.

i think it would have been sweet for 13 to stroke one of its panels and be like "oh shes not mine." nodding to that theyre telepathic!! but we seem to have forgotten that this era 😔.... i feel this generally in this era the relationship between the doctor and the tardis has been lacking actually like apart from ghost monument and spyfall we barely see them interact... i know its not always a Thing but man i loved 11 & the tardis' relationship so much i'd love to see a writer feature it more again 🥺

ive seen some people claiming yaz reads gallifreyan off the screen in the tardis. that would be cool but 100% you can recognise readings u can tell what data/readings are without labels necessarily like i can go into a car and look at a speedo and i dont need numbers on it to know what the readings mean yk?? either way it does speak a lot to teh familiarity she's got with the tardis and i <3<3 ... yaz and the tardis' growth is fun to think about. do you think she was grumpy that yaz was hanging out with the other tardis on earth in revolution ? XD

DOCTOR: Ah, there's a rudimentary cloaking shield in operation. Soon fix that. The Cybermen have tethered that child into this planet. It was registering as an energy source.

YASMIN: How is that child an energy source?

DOCTOR: Wait, there's more layers to the shield. Oh, not just cloaking. It's a consciousness shield! A creature trying to evade capture, hiding behind a visual projection shield, and this one shows us what we instinctively want to protect, as a defence.

Help me out here. Are they saying that the Qurunx also set up the cloaking ??? or that the cybermen cloaked it and it also put up the consciousness shield? ? or was it all the cybermen?? why would it need both?

also the idea of it showing what you want to protect -- do yaz and the doctor and dan ALL just happen to see a child in this situation then ??

"is this planet your doing?" doctor you literally saw the cybermen kidnap the qurunx to bring here 😭😭😭... YOU FOLLOWED THEM HERE

just once i'd like the "your master awaits" to be subverted/mirrored with "your doctor awaits" ...... the "this country needs a doctor" line is hot but its not the SAME.

"have you got any idea whats going on in outspace in 1916 rn" "strangely enuf. no" this line always gets me aklsjflk i love kate

"I'm Yaz. The only one here who doesn't really know what's going on" sorry babe that's your whole character

MANDIP INVENTING ACTING

i am once again asking ok these paintings got "defaced" so its not an alt timeline??????????? they never fixed this in the end right ??????? sweats. so rasputin was teh master alll along historically (?)... and he jst put himself in paintings in modern day ?? but then the dr says "some people think you're rasputin" ?????

"this is the day youre erased from existence forever" .... how does turning into her erase her from existence 😭

dhawan inventing acting

i still dont understand why this "give her a gun" moment is in there.

wait what happens to vinder in the end??? his ships broken

"you'll feel safer with me in the building" LMAO

"she really doens't want us back in there" and then yaz just drops her home w no goodbye to the doctor coolcoolcoolcoool

ok but why did the master clone ashad specifically what difference does he make over like. any cyberman/cyberleader??

love the russian doll cyberman lmaoooo... reminds me of that arc thing from doomsday/aog... TIME LORD TECH

if i had a penny for every time the doctor is forced into one of their enemies only for it to be purely for transport i'd have 2 pennies which isn't a lot but its a bit funny it happens twice

i love the rasputin moment but i dont rlly get the lead in ngl 😭 hes just like k time for my dance number mid speech. which i suppose like. in character XD

sacha dhawan in thirteens outfit.... i'm bisexual<3 i need to get my ears pierced

"Don't… don't… don't worry. You'll get used to me. Everyone will. I still need a companion to ask and… bask in my brilliance. Come on, Yaz. Let's go on an adventure! Don't make me ask twice. I'd hate to have to bring you down to size." /

"Come on, Yaz! Let's save a civilisation! Let's correct history! Rescue a sick animal! These yours? Oh, bless. Ow! What was that? Some sort of dirty protest? Unless you want to be consigned down a black hole for eternity, you'd better behave! I am the Doctor, and you will obey me." snapping in yaz's face "I AM THE DOCTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-> this would have hit soo different if this actually was the doctor i would HAVE LOVEDDDD it. first time watching i honetsly thought this was still the doctor and the tardis was reacting like that bc the regeneration was so unnatural (like the way she reacted to jack in utopia) but no 😔

mandip inventing acting<3

"very 80s" "thanks!" LMAO

"gold star and a sticker" u r sick

the random news drone on top of a random 2 planets is so.... ??? i feel like a lot of this was cut somehow aslkfjklgds..

also where's the awkward cut scene of yaz standing around while the master's in the wardrobe picking his outfit aksfjgdlkf

[plays the recorder on a burning mushroom planet] king shit

"quite the strength of character this incarnation" "DOCTOR 6: Our predicament! This is supposed to be handed over. You can't ruin it for the next one. / DOCTOR 5: And you were doing so well." i hateee these bits so much its SO patronising

"i dont do robes" lmao

why is whittaker in the reversed robe/the robe they used for time here hm

the hologram i do like as an idea tbf especially as we've seen the basic version w 9 and 11 and whatnot so her developing it to be more ai is rlly fun ... especially after she saw how handy having three of her in diff places was in flux lmaoooo

"it should only activate under the gravest circumstances. Like if I'm no longer around. Now, that would be disastrous. But I will have very subtly inserted a sonically triggered nano-implant under your skin and passed it off as static electricity. f I remember to do that. I must remember to do that." -- so either 13 has only just finished the hologram ai before this ep OR she KNOWS shes about to walk into some Real ShitTM and takes precautions akjfgldf.....

"HOLO-DOCTOR: Whoa! The emotional receptors on the AI are a bit oversensitive. Apparently, you're annoyed with me? Apparently, I should apologise for something?" this is so fucking funny because it comes across literally just like thirteen was she is always this fucking mean and patronising and borderline manipulative lmao its so askjdfglkdf......... blame it on the emotional receptors being oversensitive sure 🙄

i reiterate my point that most of the things/wins we get are done by the hologram dr, yaz is STILL asking the doc for validation even when shes a hologram 😔

"can't hurt the feelings of a hologram" SHE JUST TOLD U SHE WAS AI. watching this after measure of a man is like. HELLO.

"yeah well i didnt" [tosses bag] I LOVE TEGAN

they cld have mentioned nyssa in this rant tho fr

"i'll distract the cybermen" "how are you gonna do that" [cuts to screaming] hELP ASKFJDGLF... THE COMEDY IN THIS EP IS SO

the shot of ace falling into the console room is so fun actually <3

dhawan hood up<3<3

vinder no idea who the doctor is or their history w the doctor or yaz in this ep is. q funny to me.

"YASMIN: I'm sorry. / MASTER: Are you? Truly?/ YASMIN: Came back, didn't I? / MASTER: We could have fun, you know? I am fun. Different type of fun, but fun. We could travel. You'll see. "

i am once again saying i wish we got dhawan!doctor fr with this vibe

the touch of the ai mirroring the companions emotions is cute but i do still kinda wish we'd got whittaker to do these scenes fully

god i want ace and bill to meet actually

"the joy is to watch them fly" 😭😭😭

"former bus driver" is such a funny thing for graham to think when introducing himself

"wanna see how i dealt with them in 1963?" i'm kissing you on the lips

kate sacrificing herself is so<3<3 redgraves acting here is sooooo

jasfkdj tegan slipping on the ladder... is this a ryan reference or is that purely for plot convenienceTM

if the daleks plan is to destroy the planet through volcanoes then who do the cybermen have left to convert .....😭

wait the tardis in this shot LOOKS SO BAD i never notice cgi and whatnot idc but like LITERALLY THATS OBVIOUSLY A BOX WITH THE BACKGROUND PAINTED IN 😭

jo martin my beloved<3 god i wish she got more to do

vinder shooting the master is sooo<3 king

yazs speech about friendship and love got me actually.

i reiterate its the hologram telling yaz what to do this isnt her win wholly and that frustrates me so much 😭...

also how do the daleks and cybermen and master and vinder SEE ruths hologram when the doctor didnt plant the ai in them ?????? the whole static thing was the flag hello ??

"dont let me go back to being me" pleaseeee

"where there's hope..." YOU DIDNT FINISH THAT. THERES WHAT.

#watching w subs always makes me feel better butb i cldnt first time bc my parents HATE it 🙄🙄#p #part 1 bc apparently theres a limit #dw spoilers #dw; power of the doctor

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naughtyintrusivethoughties · 10 months

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lifes honestly been so much better recently. like aside from processing a retarded amount of trauma ive dealt with since i was a kid and even recently (circa 2016-2021), i think ive gotten past a good chunk of it

my dad sucks is really the take away. my mum does too at points but less so than my dad. shes just kinda fucked up from her own bs and thats okay. she tried processing it and going to therapy, and my dad did the opposite

ive kinda just accepted ill never have any kind of relationship wt my sperm donor again, and it feels really good. he put me through so much shit. been telling my mum whats been happening over the years and shes fucking HORRIFIED. she broke down after i told her some of the shit hes done over the years. like a part of me knew it was bad but it was so normalized that i never thought about how fucked up it all was until actually verbalizing it

the bastards been stealing shit from the house too to sell of for drug money. he hasnt lived here for a year but hell still show up when no ones around and take shit. hes stolen shit from me too, thankfully we have cameras everywhere so my mum was able to tell him to give me back my shit and he actually did. but then he stole other shit from the house to sell so it kinda cancelled out lol

he SUUUUUCKS

other than that shit, life been okay. positives being ive been dating my bf for a year now and were pretty happy with eachother. hes talked about marriage and stuff and thats pretty cool. id marry the shit out of him

works been great too. i transferred to another building and its been goin super good. i got promo offers my first week, and months later (ie now) im being told that they wanna promo me to a management position which is fucking fantastic. i like MONEY, and i like that this building actually appreciates the effort im putting in. i had people rooting for me at my last building, but ive been fucked over way too many times at that building to stick around, so its nice to be given some actual direction now

my ex best friend is apparently getting fat and that made me laugh pretty hard. for all the shit she put me through and how insecure she is, enjoy the extra weight queen xoxoxo

ive been really enjoying paddle boarding recently. my bf and i go out on the water and just kinda chill and listen to music and eat n have beer and its really relaxing. im also actually tanning and not staying super pasty white LOL

im a LITTLE tequila fancy rn so im probably gunna log off now, but im gunna try to journal again, and this is the easiest way to do it. gunna try to stick to it

#omg also since actually getting away from my shitty ex friend ive been getting really into keyboards #i have 5 right now and im working on modding out my epomaker skyline so i can get it sounding how i want it to #amazon prime day also maxe it possible to buy many MANY switch sets to play around with #tryna also find a new keyboard to get so i can fuck around with it and not have to worry abt destroying it #i have gotten very VERY into it

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decayaway2007 · 2 years

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god help meeee

srsly idk why this always happens basically my mum came into my room asking for my school dress and i opened the door and gave it to her, and she asked like why do i always have the lights off i just said i like it when its dark. THENNN she went full on screaming/ranting about how im demonic, and there únclean’’ spirits inside of me and that im letting evil stuff take over me just alot weird crap, this always happens since shes now ‘christian’’ shes says shes chrisitain but she doesnt act like it at all honestly. yeah so since she was screaming rlly loud i just turned on some music so i wouldnt have to hear her and it wsnt that loud.

then she starts saying im listenign to demonic music, it was literally japan by yotclub u can listen to it and see how mental she is for thinking that. THENNN she full on starts trying to smash the door down to get into my room, i just told her to leave me alone please and she full on started screaming that im disrespectful or smt idk why she says but yeah. then she starts screaming for my dad to come she probably told him so weird crap abt what i did so he starts screaming to open the door then he gets this key to unlock it or smt. yeah i get upset rlly easy so i was pretty screaming/crying to leave me alone, so i just had to sit in the corner of my room. i was honestly getting rlly upset and out of control but honestly i didnt say anything offensive to them at all besides ‘’leave me alone please and stop’’ and they went ballistic. my dad kinda cooled down and left but my mum was still screaming again saying i was ungrateful and complain all the time.

LIKE HONESTT HOW!!!??!?! i literally never said anything to her like ever, i bet if i asked her to give an exmaple she wouldnt have anything to say, since i basically stay in my room, study, play videos, draw, make food and repeat.THEN she was saying i act depressed and crap WHEN I LITERALLY DONT!??!?!?!?! like srsly they think just because im more introverted im acting depressed or smt, honestly ive never been good at expressing emotions either to littel or too extreme so when im happy i dont look that happy, they expect me to act like a cartooon character or smt when im happy i dont get it.

then my dad was complaining abt how i didnt sya goodnight to him last night when dude u didnt say it too me either i dont get why he is complaining its not like i have a meltdown when mum never ever says goodnight to me anymore.

ALSOO this is the worst part and genuinely kinda hurts i just feel like my mum likes my brother way more sometimes like during the midst of that argument like she starts jokingly talking to my brother and then continues screaming at me also just in general everytime she talks to me her tone harsheness and not like i can point it out to anyone cause they wil just defend her. i just srsly as pathetic as this seems wish my mum expressed that she loved me more like how she does with my brother. And honestly she always says its because hes more repesctful and loving to her but he always says crap to her way more than me and gets away with it bcs its fricken him, if i said that she wouldnt talk to me for days properly, i just cant stand it sometimes, like once i begged my brother to call my mum to ask for cookies cause i knew she would probs say yes to him, but he made me talk so asked her for them and she said i had like sugar cravings and eat too much, AND WHEN she answered the call she was like my brothers name very happily and when i said hi she was just like ‘’oh yeah OC what do u want’’ its just things like that, which make it obvious how she feels abt me sometimes.

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carouseldreamdiary · 9 months

Text

09.08.23

i was in the streets of cornwall i think and i saw kim trying to get into this door of his house sneakily so i went up to him and was like kim kim kim heyyyy what u doing and he was like im busy and was kinda serious so i was like let me help whats going on so he let me come inside with him and immediately was like shut the door quickly lock it so i did. i asked him why and he explained like the police are coming to get him because he has his cats in the house so we have to hide him and he asked me to give him a leg up so he could climb on top of the closet and hide up there and i was like ok but i think the better idea would be to hide your cats and as i said that i heard banging and yelling at the door from the police telling him to open up so i quickly put the cats up on top of the closet with him (stupidly) and opened the door and they came in so fast they knocked me down. then once they came inside the cats immediately jumped back down but they ignored the cats and instead arrested me for the disappearence of kims mum

i dont remember being in jail but i remember arguing in court with them and being like WHY would i fuckin steal his cats i care about him so much we talk abt his cats all the time. and i think i got out on bail or smthing but when i got out i was walking around and i noticed i was next to kims same house again and it was all crime scened up and closed.

then i think i encountered kim again and he was rly sad abt his mum so i was like hey lets go to spain and for some reason he agreed to come with me so i got us this hotel and we were on the 6th floor and the room was so crazy huge it didnt really have any walls but it had all these sections for like the bedroom, the lounge, the balcony. it was really nice and he started to cheer up a bit more when we were there. i think i was sitting doing something close to him like reading and he suddenly leant his chin on my shoulder and i wanted to cry from happiness, so i think i reached out and took his hand and he held hands with me and it felt so innocent and pure. i felt like a child again. i think i was scared to kiss him so i just brushed my lips against his hand but then we did kiss and i was laughing and so was he and it was just like , not laughing at eachother but from happiness idk it was rly cliche but so nice.

and i think what was so nice about it was ok ive been battling a lot with how like messed up my sex drive is from abuse and how like i jump to sex so fast with people and try to use it to exchange for love and care, its something ive been working on and like i remember even in the dream thinking about that and thinking i dont want to do this yet because it may weird him out. and idk that made me feel happy inside too. to grow like that even if it was a dream cuz it felt incredibly real.

i think i asked if he was hungry and if he wanted to explore the rest of the hotel and he said yes so we wandered downstairs to this like big wide open dining room that had a terrace smoking area and we sat outside on it , it was so high up above the clouds and he linked arms with me which is something i love to do with people it feels so cute and like for him to do it to me felt really cute too IDK im smiling thinking about it now. it was cute it felt like he wasnt ashamed to be seen with me , he was happy and that made me so happy. i think we sat down on a table next to some other people and kim did something to offend them i cant remember what so i explained the situation and they were very kind and understanding and i talked with them a bit about the city and stuff and translated for kim and he was like not very shy i always thought he was quite shy and tbh i am shy too i would never talk to someone like that in real life but we both did and it was nice. then i think we wandered back up to our room again and i was pointing out to him like all the weird shops this hotel had inside it somehow like a bowling alley and a supermarket and a tailors . it kinda looked like asturias alisios centre the bit near carrefour lol.

anyway once we got back to our room i think i offered kim some mushrooms and he was like ok, i was kind of high in the dream already i think so i was struggling to think of a correct doseage for him so i told him eat half this mushroom and it was a pretty small one. i think he was okay but the next thing i remember was being naked in bed with him, i dont think we were having sex but i remember thinking oh hes probably never touched breasts before and then i woke up

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wizkiddx · 3 years

Note

hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

#tom x reader #tom holland fic #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #famous!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland

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bethansfandoms · 3 years

Note

hey! ive stuck at home for a while and unwell because of covid and i was wondering if you could write a sick sirius being looked after by remus or vice versa!! thanks so much, i love your writing, i hope you have a great day!

Oh no! Wishing you a swift recovery! <3

Summer had gone from being one of Sirius’ least favourite times of year to the one he looked forward to the most.

The two weeks where Remus and Peter came to stay were always his favourite. It was the fun of Gryffindor tower without homework or exam stress.

This is why Sirius was so grumpy. Remus and Peter were here and Sirius was ill.

Sirius didn’t get ill often but when he did, it completely drained him. It was sunny and beautiful outside and yet Sirius was sat in bed, shivering. He had two jumpers on, one of which was Remus’, and yet he still felt freezing cold.

The window was firmly closed but even then he could hear the laughs of the people lounging on the lawn. They thought he was asleep, of course, and Sirius absolutely wasn’t angry at them for having fun. He just wished he could be outside sunbathing drinking Euphemia’s perfect lemonade as well.

He pulled the sleeves of Remus’ jumper over his hands and curled up into a ball. The sun was streaming through the small crack in the curtains. Sirius was still cold.

He prayed he would fall asleep just to be rid of the horrible feeling in his stomach and the pounding in his head. No such luck. He threw the duvet over his head in the hope of stopping the shivering at the very least.

“Sirius?”

The voice was so quiet that he wasn’t even sure it had been there at all. He slowly poked his head out of the covers to see Remus leaning in the doorway.

Remus was wearing shorts and if any sight was going to restore him to full health, it’d be that. Remus never wore shorts, in front of anyone who wasn’t the marauders he never even worse short sleeved shirts. He was slightly tanned, his hair was a little lighter, his eyes a little brighter, and there were freckles all over his face, the ones that only came with summer.

“Hey,” he smiled, walking over to Sirius and sitting next to him. “Merlin, it’s like a hundred degrees in here.”

“‘M cold,” Sirius mumbled.

Remus looked at him sympathetically and brushed some of the hair stuck to Sirius’ face away. “Here,” he took a hair band off of his wrist and pulled all of Sirius’ hair into a bun for him.

Sirius hummed appreciatively and then raised an eyebrow, “Why do you have hair bands? Your hair is short.”

“For you, obviously. How’re you feeling?”

“Shit,” Sirius replied. “I’m so cold.”

Remus kissed his forehead and wrapped his arms around him. “Do you want something warm? Tea or soup or something?”

“I want cuddles first.”

Remus squeezed him tighter. “I’m sneaking into your room tonight,” he announced, “I’m not leaving you alone like this.”

Sirius’ stomach just gave a painful lurch and he gripped onto Remus and nuzzled into his neck. “How do you cope feeling like shit before and after every moon?”

Remus laughed lightly, “Well, you help, don’t you? And James and Peter. All of you... you carry my things or take extra notes and stuff.”

“Yeah... you’re still so strong, though.”

Remus chuckled at that, “Well, thank you, Padfoot. Wait here, I’m going to get you something to eat.”

“I think I’ll be sick if you do.”

“Just try something, please? It’ll help. Mrs Potter will probably make you anything you like, you’re the favourite child.”

Sirius smirked, “I keep telling James that to wind him up.”

“Me too.” Remus kissed his head again before standing and then doing a double take. “Is that my jumper?”

“It’s warm,” was the only explanation Sirius gave.

“You’re cute.” Sirius still felt awful but he let a smile spread across his face at that.

Remus returned a few minutes later with a tray. He handed Sirius the bowl of soup and set the mug of tea down next to Sirius. He also gave him a potion and shrugged when Sirius asked what it was. “Mrs Potter just told me to give it to you.”

Sirius trusted Euphemia enough to just drink it and see what happened, it wasn’t like he could feel much worse.

The potion actually spread some warmth throughout his body and he noticed some of the shivers and cold sweating subside almost immediately.

“Okay, eat up,” Remus said, holding out the spoon. The idea of eating still made Sirius’ stomach turn so he turned his head to the side. “Padfoot,” Remus sighed, “I will literally feed it to you.”

“No you won’t.”

He would, as it turned out. Remus gently cupped Sirius face and looked at him sternly until Sirius reluctantly opened his mouth and sipped at the soup. He hated to admit it but it made him him feel loads better.

Remus ended up feeding him the entire time and Sirius couldn’t help a little grin spreading across his face. “So spoilt,” Remus muttered, placing the empty bowl on the side. “Anything else, your majesty?”

“Can you get me some of your fluffy socks?”

Remus laughed and mocked exasperation but smiled at the fact that Sirius was acting a little more like himself. He quickly left and then returned, holding them out, “Or would you like me to put them on for you?”

“Sarcasm or a genuine offer.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Remus grumbled, kneeling down and putting the socks on for him.

“I know,” Sirius replied.

“Anything else? Would you like the whole house magicked a little to the right?

Sirius stuck his tongue out, “Don’t tease me, I’m ill.”

Remus rolled his eyes and slipped into bed next to him. “Feeling better now you’ve eaten?”

“A bit. Yes, Moony, oh wise one, you were right.”

“I’m always right.”

“I know.”

“Hey,” Remus said, wrapping an arm around him, “after dinner we’re going to have a bonfire. You want to come out?”

“I think I’ll sleep. Maybe if I rest I’ll be better tomorrow.”

Remus kissed him sweetly, “I hope so. I should probably go back down... dinner will be soon.”

Sirius clung into him like a limpet, “Can you stay? Just until I drift off?”

Remus sighed but settled into the bed further, hooking a leg around him and kissing the back of his neck, “Just for like, ten minutes.”

James clambered you the stairs an hour later. Remus had gone to see if Sirius was awake and hadn’t returned since. He and Peter had just left him to it but dinner was being served and he was sure Remus would be annoyed if they let him miss a meal.

He pushed open Sirius’ bedroom door and froze. The two boys lay together, duvet kicked mostly off and limbs tangled tightly around each other, Remus’ lips against the back of Sirius’ neck.

With a small smile he pushed the door shut again and asked his mum to leave something aside for Remus, informing her he’d be down later.

He wasn’t going to ask Sirius or Remus about it. They’d tell him when they were ready.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar fanfic #wolfstar fanfiction #marauders #remus lupin x sirius black #sirius black x remus lupin #wolfstar headcannon #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar tumblr #wolfstar textpost

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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years

Note

am I the only one who think about dom, no, DOM!thomas

I mean yes, he's sweet clingy desperate sub, but imagine that u piss him of and he turns into incredibly dom as dom as u really can't walk normally the next day

I need headcanons 🥵 pleeeeeease

(❤ that's my heart, it's for u)

haven't thought of that before but honestly he very much seems like a switch leaning sub or at least would be open to be dom for you. now because i was painting a room with my mum (lol, also sorry that it took me so long to see this, as i said ive spend all day painting a room) ill give you this scenario

might consider a full on smut fic, yeah?😉

(omg here ❤ take mine back)

sooo you and thomas are painting around your house

it is new and empty for the time being so you two take the opportunity to paint it and make it feel more like home

and honestly, it's been really quiet, both are focused on your own thing

thomas is painting the one wall, you are doing the detailing like the corners and stuff

but you are really bored

so you think of making the whole painting thing a little more fun

"thomas," you whine, sitting on the floor cross legged, besides said man

"yes, baby," he responds looking down at you, pausing his work to listen to your

"i'm bored," you pout, the man simply laughing at that, entertained by the childishness you show

"you can put on some music, baby"

"nah, it's not enough for me"

"Well, can't help you, cucciolo. we got to finish this"

you simply sit there for a second, unsure of what to do

he is not helping very much, just focusing on doing the job

agh, stupid working man

so you decided to be a bit cheeky, i'd say

when you got up to get some more paint on your brush you brushed it past the man's arm

"y/n, what did you do this for?"

"oops, sorry, it was an accident," you say, evil smirk on your face, not even a bit sorry

he let it go for the moment, making you think your plan did not work

so you did more

'accidentally' splashed a bit of paint from your brush to his shirt

he seemed a little more mad at that but still let it go

truth be told you felt a bit hot and bothered by the strong focus he held on the painting

altering your ideas a bit

this time paint 'accidentally' fell on your shirt, you making a big fuss about it

"oh, no! I got paint on my shirt. fuck that's a lot"

your acting skills were terrible but it got his attention

eyes never leaving your body while you remove your shirt

"oh well, seem like i'll have to paint like this now"

no you didn't have to

thomas clenched his jaw at that, trying to keep his composure

"thommy, don't you want to take your shirt off too? that's a lot of paint on your back"

and there it was, the last straw

he pulled you by the hand, bringing you to his body before pinning you against a(n unpainted) wall

"Are you trying to get somewhere, puppy? I can see how desperate you are for attention"

you simply hummed in response as he gave a quick kiss to you neck

"Come on, use your words. you weren't withholding them while giving a performance just seconds ago."

his grip on your waist was strong, eyes full of fire

"i guess you need an obedience lesson, no?"

all headcannons like this will be edit later this week in order to be better written. also im almost finished with all the fics im working on so yayyyyyy

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin #thomas raggi imagine #thomas raggi

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tomtenadia · 3 years

Text

Remember Us - 7

I know we are in full Rowaelin month but I thought to give you part 7 as a present...

There is a small library scene in perfect theme with Day 4. (This is not part of Rowaelin month. Just a coincidence)

The chapters are getting less angsty. As I mentioned in a post a few days ago... i Finished the story and it has 10 parts. That was the original plan and I promise a HEA

-------

Rowan had spent the entire day going through all of their albums. Evalin had offered to look after Freyja, but instead he had kept the girl in his arms while sitting on the carpet and and album in front of him.

He had just finished the one about Thomas and now opened the one dedicated to his daughter. They were both still a working in progress as it looked like Aelin would just record the stages in their lives.

“Look, who is this one?” The little girl pointed at the picture and babbled something.

“This is you.” He told her in a loving tone “the most precious thing in our lives with your brother.”

“You did it, Fireheart.” Rowan kissed the head of an exhausted Aelin, while the doctors were busy cleaning and checking on their daughter.

The nurse walked to them with a bundle in her arms and gave it to Aelin “I think your daughter is ready to meet you.” And placed the baby on Aelin’s chest.

Rowan sat at her side, his arms around her shoulder as he drew closer his two women.

“She is like you, Ro.”

He kissed her forehead “I love you both. Madly.”

In another photo he saw Thomas in the hospital bed near her mother, kissing his sister head and the caption read Thomas is officially a big brother and he finally gets to meet his sister.

“ ‘Mas” babbled Freyja, pointing at the photo.

“Yes, that is your brother.”

Page by page he followed his daughter life and as it happened for Thomas, some moments became familiar all of a sudden.

Looking at photos had been a great idea but with Aelin’s captions had been even better as it was as if someone was actually telling him the story.

He looked at a couple of more albums but then he felt an headache coming and his vision was getting tired as well, so he grabbed Freyja and went to lie down on the sofa, making sure that she was tucked in safely between him and the back of the sofa. Evalin was busy doing chores around the house. He pulled the little girl to his chest and he started humming a tune while his hand caressed her head.

Not long after they were both asleep.

Evalin appeared back in the living room not long after and when she saw the scene in front of her she almost cried. Then she took her phone and snapped a picture and sent it to Aelin Your husband and your daughter are having some quality time together.

“How’s the study session going?” A younger Rowan paused beside a table in a university library.

The blonde woman in front of him groaned in exasperation “med school. Of all the degrees I choose from, I went for the worst one.” Her head collapsed heavily on the books in front of her “I want to be a neurosurgeon, I don’t care about the kidneys. Why am I studying this crap?”

Rowan smiled and placed a cup of coffee on the table “you need caffeine.”

Aelin lifted her head “yes, in IV.” She extended her arm and Rowan chuckled “you are the doctor, you will have to perform that on yourself.” He laughed and patted her head “I can tell you the legal repercussions of me performing such a procedure without a licence.”

Aelin grabbed her coffee and drank avidly “smartass.”

“A smartass you love?”

“Keep dreaming, Whitethorn.”

When he woke up again he was not ready for the splitting headache. He tried to sit up but dizziness hit him hard and then a wave of nausea. He jumped off the sofa but crashed on the carpet. Rowan fought to stand up but his body refused to obey “Evalin,” he croaked, grabbing his head in his hands.

A moment later Evalin was at his side “Rowan, are you okay?”

He crashed back down on the carpet and groaned. Evalin slowly helped him to sit back up and she felt panic rise “I should call Aelin.”

“No,” said Rowan in a whisper as he stood shakily and sat at the opposite side of the sofa away from his sleeping daughter. He should not be around the kids. No one should be around him while he was in that state.

And in that instant nausea hit again and he grabbed his stick and slowly dragged himself to the bathroom, collapsed on the floor and emptied the content of his stomach in the toilet.

***

Aelin had just finished surgery when she noticed the worried text from her mother. Rowan was not well.

She changed from the scrubs, paged her second, told him she had a family emergency and that she had to go back home. They all knew her situation and he was understanding. She had finished her surgeries for the day so finishing early was not much of an issue.

She drove home with her heart racing with panic. She knew the complications after a brain injury and she was worried. Her mother had not specified what happened but her tone seemed frantic.

Once in front of the house she parked quickly and once in the house she found it quiet. Her mother was sitting on the sofa reading to Freyja and Thomas was on the carpet playing with his toy cars.

“Where is he?”

Evalin looked up at her “in bed. He was sick, complaining of strong headaches and he said he was tired.”

Aelin dropped her backpack and ran for the bedroom and found him asleep.

She walked to him and sat at his side at the edge on the bed and slowly caressed his head. Her strong, amazing husband looked fragile, tucked in bed and sleeping on his side. The time in the hospital had left his mark and his frame was now thinner. Her hand ran through his hair once again and then deposited a gentle kiss and in that instant his eyes popped open as she chastised herself for it.

“Hi you,”

“Hi,” his voice gruff “you are home.”

“Mum texted me that you were not well.”

He tried to sit up but Aelin kept him down “you need to rest. What are your symptoms?”

Rowan’s head collapsed back on the pillow “headache, dizziness and nausea.”

Aelin’s hand was in his hair again “it’s normal. From one to ten, how bad is the headache?”

“Seven.”

She stood and came back a moment later with a glass of water and a tablet “Just a light dose to help you a bit.”

Rowan took the water and the medicine and once he was done Aelin lay down at his side, snuggling close to him, her hand on his chest. Rowan’s arms as if on instinct went around her frame but did not hug her tight. He had no energy.

“I dreamt…” he closed his eyes for a second “I dreamt of us in the library. You were complaining about your degree and kidneys,” he told her softly “I brought you coffee.”

Aelin chuckled against his chest. She did remember exactly the day “that was when I started to fall for you.”

“Tell me,” he said, his lips brushing her hair.

“Somehow you had memorised my schedule,” she began her tale “so you would pop up in the library and keep me company studying. You with your laws and me with my crazy med stuff.” She looked up at him and found her husband staring at her “during my anatomy exam you offered to be my skeleton and I revised on you.” She flicked his nose and the gentle flinch of his nose reminded her so much of him, his usual reaction “At the end of a crazy exam you brought me cake and once my session of exams was over you asked me out.”

Rowan gave her a weak smile and she could see the tiredness in his face “you asked me to move in with you on my birthday and my present were the keys to your flat. I moved out of mine the next day and Aedion moved in with Lysandra and took my place.”

“Are we good friends with them?” He asked with interest. So far they had never discussed their friends and he thought it was time to try.

Aelin nodded “Aedion is my cousin. Lys and I were flatmates and she is my best friend.” Her hand brushed his hair once again, the gesture was relaxing and Rowan seemed to enjoy it too, his features much more relaxed “then we have Lorcan and Elide and the six of us kinda form a nice tight group.”

“Do they know about my condition?”

Aelin nodded “I explained to them and the only reason they haven’t visited is because I knew it was going to be too much so I told them to wait.”

“Thank you,” he said softly while his hand brushed her back “I can’t just yet.”

Aelin nodded again and his expression morphed as if he wanted to ask her something but hesitate. His hand moved “can I?” And Aelin knew what he meant. She took his hand and pushed it under her t-shirt and on her tiny baby bump “I don’t know yet if it’s a girl or a boy. I have a check up in two weeks and will see if we can find out the sex.”

His thumb moved gently as if to greet their child with his free hand he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said a bit too quietly.

“I should let you rest,” Aelin tried to move but his hand grabbed her writs and pulled her back down against him. He had been enjoying that moment they had shared. His arms went around her frame and pulled her to him.

“You love to cuddle.”

“Do I?” He told her rising an eyebrow.

“Sometimes when mum takes the kids we do enjoy a lot of naked, adult cuddling.”

Rowan’s heart raced in terror “I am not…” he stopped “I can’t yet.”

“Shh…” said Aelin, placing a gentle finger on his lips “We are not doing anything you do not want to do.” She told him with love.

He pulled her even closer and tucked her head under his chin, and the position felt familiar all of a sudden, her scent enveloping his nostrils. Everything about her felt familiar, the shape of her body against his, her scent, they way she fit perfectly in his arms.

They were in silence for a moment until two small cyclones joined them.

“Dad.” Shouted Thomas quite loudly and Rowan groaned, his head not appreciating the decibels coming from his son.

“Quiet, Tom, dad is not well.”

The little boy zipped his lips and climbed in bed. Freyja padded to her father’s side and extended her arms in a gesture to be picked up. Rowan turned and lifted his daughter in his arms and pushed her under the blankets with Thomas and Aelin joined them a moment later.

“We are keeping company to dad but we need to be quiet. Can we do that?”

Thomas nodded eagerly and Freyja kept sucking on her pacifier. The little girl climbed on her father chest and Rowan rolled on his back to help her curl up properly. Thomas was tucked in at his side and Aelin’s arm reached over and enveloped them.

“Sorry, they really missed you.”

Rowan shook his head “this feels really nice and normal.”

Aelin smiled and brushed Thomas’ hair “believe me on a weekend it is, and if I am not working the four of us love a long morning in bed together.”

He chuckled and loved the image “What about the names?”

Aelin grabbed Freyja’s hand in her and kissed it “Thomas was a character in a sci-fi series that we both love. He is an Admiral and quite amazing. He is actually my fictional husband. Freyja, we took it from a mythology book.”

Rowan laughed “so I have competition.”

“Can you be an admiral?”

“I order you to kiss me, soldier.” Rowan felt a smile tug at his lips and Aelin stared at him with fondness. Then leaned forward and pressed a kiss on his lips.

“Bleah,” said Thomas in protest. Aelin stamped a big kiss on his cheek “feeling better now?” And the boy grinned and climbed down from the bed “lego.” And he ran away.

Aelin sighed “he has a lot of energy.” And now that her son space had been vacated she scooted closer to Rowan and her hand was on the girl’s back on top of Rowan’s.

“I love the kids. It’s been only a few days but I love them madly already.” He whispered looking down at his sleeping daughter. Then back at Aelin and for a brief moment he saw sadness in her eyes. Loving the kids had been easy. His feelings for her were far more complicated. He felt something but could not put a name on it yet.

“With you is…” he paused, searching for the right words. He had caused enough pain already “complicated. There is something, I can feel it, but I don’t know if it’s just the memories or my actual feelings.” His hand ran through his hair “I don’t know how to explain it clearly.”

Aelin kissed his forehead tenderly. For as much as she wanted her husband back, she was not going to rush him. He would need time and she was willing to wait. She had waited at his bedside for so long to have him awake again that she was happy to take even the small acts of affection he was willing to give her.

“I want you to have your husband back, and I am trying…”

“Shhh…” she said to him, a gentle kiss on his lips “I have him back, and I can see more of him coming back everyday. You don’t realise it but he is there.” She patted his chest “My husband is right here in my arms.”

Rowan’s hand grabbed the back of her head and pulled her to him for a fierce kiss. Aelin melted at the contact. The kiss felt like coming home and for a moment it swept away all her fears.

“Does your husband kiss you like that?” The smirk on his face and his playful tone was him and she pulled back, coming up for air.

“Seems like you remember this part very well.”

“It does help that my wife is stunning.”

Aelin smiled. He had called her his wife. Had he accepted his life? Had he accepted them?

She looked at him in his pine green eyes looking for an answer.

“Yes.”

#rowan whitethorn #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #domestic fluff

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