#ive got like. only a handful of ppl who follow me here so im used to just Posting Whatever lmao
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I gope it gets better for ya'. :o :)!!! (CrypticCupid)
AUGH thank u !!!! sorry i keep forgetting other ppl can see my tags oops. did not mean 2 randomly be angsty in ur notes . i appreciate u though this is so sweet <3
#asks#crypticcupid#SORRY thats embarassing omg.#ive got like. only a handful of ppl who follow me here so im used to just Posting Whatever lmao#head in hands. thank u <3#i hope u have a good night too !!!
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With your language AU, I remember watching a video about a guy speaking angrily nonesense in an Indian accent and people thinking he was very angry. Imagine this as the Creator speaks angry gibberish to people and they just assume that the Creator is cursing them or something. (Or like when they speak gibberish to babies and everyone's like, "Aw the Creator is teaching that baby their divine language")
*AUDIENCE DRAMATICALLY GASPS.
✨️I look pretty good for a dead bitch✨️
She's alivveee!!!
Whats up i almost passed away from sheer academic workload, but im not in the ground yet 🥰 And with drafts outta my ass! :D
Hope yall ready for ur regularly scheduled Bullshit Genshin Sagau <3
SANDBEES THATS SUCH A GOOD USERNAME & ALSO SORRY I ANSWERED THIS SO FUCKING LATE JESUSSSSS 💀💀💀
SORRY ABT THE POLL I CANT BELIEVE I COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE IT IM FUCKING CRYING I WOULD DO THIS-
Well at least i can do polls thru this in the future?? Idk tumblr is ass so we'll see how this accidental test works out...
☆
So these were the first thngs i thought of and its not super long bc ASKERS R GENIUSES OKAY
SOMTIMES I JUST WANNA PROFUSELY THANK U GUYS AS A REPLY FOR SHARING WITH THE CLASS THRU MY BLOG 💖💘💫
Saw the gif and couldnt help but think this is how ppl like Alhaitham or Diluc would react to u "speaking ur langauge"
"Our langauage" aka being a SIM 💀
◇
Stop Albedo would ask you to teach him ur lang/grammar rules 😭
What u gonna do when Zhongli asks you to teach him some words-
OH NO
NO DONT PASS ON YOUR BULLSHIT LMAO
U GIVING ZHONGLI SOME STUPID SIM WORD LIKE
Your ass: "GIGGLABAH means beautiful :) "✨️
Zhongli: "Oh thank you, how different from our own version, so excited sounding..."
You walk by him strolling the harbor and he just smiles at you and says
"You look gigglabah today my liege."
HIS REGAL FACE AND FANCY WALK WITH HIS HAND BEHIND HIS BACK AND EVERYTHING
(honestly ppl paint him as oblivious but he kinda seemed like the type of bastard who seems like he's not aware but sometimes he secretly knows the truth, he's just getting too much amusement out of it to stop doing it, LOL he does shit like the above to see YOUR reaction- LMAO)
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You're a maniac pls tell me u dont pass on simlish to all the serious characters-
XIAO WOULD SECRETLY THINK IT SOUNDS GOOFY BUT WANT TO BE INVOLVED BC ITS YOU ANYWAY LMAO
SO HE'S JUST SLIGHTLY SQUIRMING AND GETTIN PINK EVERYTIME HE SAYS A STUPID SIM WORD BC HE FEELS LIKE A GOOF HAHA
(& he's not the only one, others too like Kaveh, YELAN, Ningguang, Nahida, DILUC, AYAKA LMAO-)
◇
Some ppl i could see taking ur gibberish bullshittery and whether they believe its real or not is irrelevant bc theyre using it anyway-
And i dont mean in a good way 😭
LIKE IM THINKING OF VENTI.
CRAZY BARD INCLUDING SIMLISH ASS GIBBERISH WORDS IN HIS SONGS BC OF YOU
"Be cheerful like the hugkukie,
and may your cup never leaky!"
And Diluc loves you.
Really he does, deeper than he thinks-
But his eye is twitching LMAOO
◇
(Ok but if you did like multiple of these language shenanigans thruout the asks ive gotten, Kaeya would literally grow so fond of you and associate you with goofy funny shit that makes him laugh so hard that everytime he sees you he automatically is beaming with a smile, or trying to supress a warm grin- this got away from me but its 1:44am for me rn so i would love a smiley Kaeya rn -)
♡
Speaking language bs I have my 2nd oral exam for spanish tomorrow, pls send whatever good vibes u got and i am also really open to prayers from any religion as well. sobs
Hope anyone got any enjoyment out of my response bc tbh the ask is what rlly matters to me atp lmao
Until the next shenanigan-
Safe travels,
💀♒️
♡the beloveds mwah ♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist
#hope u guys like those follower event posts when they here 😖🙏#so u would think the opposite but no-#those headcanons r gonna be so much more lore than u probably wanted#and the oneshot the opposite 💀#more absolute baffoonery than u ever wanted from me#genshin impact#genshin sagau#my asks#sagau#genshin imagines#genshin isekai#genshin sagau language barrier au#genshin sagau language au#should i attempt to make these tags#does it even matter or is it a fruitless endeavor#the language brainrot is endless#yall have lost brain cells reading my writing i stg#genshin sagau ideas#gender neutral reader
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2 Nonbinarys, 1 Milkshake
I yam survivng getting my Rite titty smacked by a bony boy at Hoyt Schemmorhone n trying to get my power back by txting club promotors to giv meh more than just a table but to secure the Bag bitch!. n within the Last 2 weekZzzz i Did coke w a person named Smiley in the Bossa baffroom then followed a stranger to a supposed afterparty tht didnt rly exist like 5 blocks down then got scared N ran away :-D !!!. K holed and became a metallic lilac crayon who had the zoomiezz. also saw a bunch of Froggie paper macheys holding handz. now it my favs things in tha world n being dramatic to ppl i don’t know in a white pedo van outside of a wegmansz n Being on set again n lending ppl my journal to use as a hard surface to sketch n Do art but feeling mistrustful if they gonna peek inside N read my unedited poems i feel insecure ab idk why cuz i feel like so transparent all the time but also the feeling of wanting to hide myself constantly at the same time but also fighting the FeelIng and Fe sr of being a wallflower n Musterd ing up courage to Just share n la la la la la la so i don’t know how to stop turning my head back a million times cuz im anxious ab it all n I love vanilla coke !!!! I hav a crush on someone in seattle and i feel sad that whenever i talk to them i talk really fast n get embarsssed.
“technicolour radiostatic heart
moonchild warm illumination .. reaching for sweet milk with the long fingernails , green sunbeams,” randdoooo phrases of stuffs i hav scribbled down / A poem ab someone i love.
i H8 waking up to long paragraphs from Nyu studentZ?.!!! just Kall me or continue to mutually ghost meh!! even then i regret screaming when i shuld hav just been liKe confident n held my tongue knowinG i invented Wickbush .
Im writing this while sitting in a popup cinema snack bar in greenpoint n still amazed i walked here with only 20 min of sleep n absolutely no stimulants n a big blister on my left foot from my $18 wooden leather jeffrey campbells Chaffing against my shmexy twiggy baby cow cows (calves ). Wait i meant shins. Which rhymes w double chin . =} Which i don’t hav but i wish i did . ! There is keylime cheesecake n Redd Velvet Kake here n Mayb 1 day i will b able to eat desserts again.. mayb 1 day i will be able to eat in restaurants randomly with my friends , and not have to plan it out or decide whether or not to eat based on how big i feel or how bad my stomach aches for it or not. Cuz it’s not ab deserving to eat or not it’s just about eating simply Knowing tht when ur choosing to eat u choose to live . i Wanna share 1 milkshakes w two straws w my Nonbinary crush N know that Tis Gonna B OKIE
I luv when ppl share their porn addiction with me when we just met n i really luv feeling like a cardboard box aka safe space . :3 n i literally don’t know what to think ab the snowrain rainsnow. No one can understand meh sppecchh rn cuz ive been chaknsmoking since Chinese lunar yr cuz i felt like hurting moiself :-] yay!
I love sweating w my friends on drugs n i love when they sweat on meh beCuzz they have a uncardiovascular disease Condition on their hands i forget the name of it but i think it’s KewL . i Luvv hangin out n being popular n cool n also wishing for many wishes in one wish on a shooting star Green Comet except i forgot but i prayed the morning of for
- a less fat pussy
- be able to hold my breath for 86.6978738 seconds under water
- Lobotomy (as a verb and noun)
- B able to b cool enough to say “i smoke weed” by actually smoking weed again .
i got married dis week with ringpop n planned my wedding . Tiz will take place at olive garden where everyone will have a mandatory dress code of “bread stick . “ Then throw italian wedding heart shaped rice in my face . All i want on my honeymoon registration is pink heart shaped Bubble wrap from Etsy . Rsvp NOW!!! What does it mean to be someone’s bossa nova?? All i kno is i found Comfort in my friends farts when they refuse to withhold them from meh N smelling their insides . N holding each other in the afternoon after blacking out the nite b4 n kissing each other’s itchy tattoos itchy kisses w pierced lips in crowded and small bathroom stallz at Bushwig ice house in non bushwick / East Williamsburg. Snorting n feeling unashamed n blissfully unaware promising each other things we can’t Promise ourselves n Vocalizing our drug preferences and chatting ab prison n heaven n long lives n last lives .
hElped style for Bella hadid shoot last wk cuz og stylist for the shoot couldn’t make it or whayytevvzz n i had to change my tiktok name for Vidz credit . rip “renny69247” :-[[[ n Heyo just cuz u fuck cis men does not mean ur less queer n i Found the queen kunty book while walking in nyc stopping wickbush n i think it’s a sign from god . I luv my hood n knowing i am emotionally intelligent just as much as i am street smart . I luv staying up all nite kholing w moi friends n having dance partties tht r EPIC N SWAGGY n baking brownies 4 pplz n having sleepoverzz n having SO MANY CRUSHES!!!!! i also LOVE ECZEMA!!!! YAH i’m a profesh mouse catcher not so much releaser tho N i wanna thank all service tops 4 their service esp doubly if they r real veterans . and non monogamy with a underscore and italicized “n” cuz im like red gelatinous jelly .?
. Im dyke spongebob and lesbian Hash slinging slasher who hangs out w ppl with alpaca hair teddybears and german shepherd Border collie Mix coats cuz Peta is actually not as cool as We all thought in our spiritual vegan Cali Wave . n a vegan who eats chikkin. it’s BRICK OUTSIDE n i kant wait to go to coHeed n cambia cambria concert in may SOOOOO Stay fergalicious defanicious Make dem boiZ Go L0c0!!!.!!! which rhymes with h0L0 kind of . i luv holo! Kant wait for denim party n clown core vday party n remember if u placebo urself to believe ur hi on addy u ARE high on adderal :-D o and ! i am cum and my situation ship is lube!
Xx, renny =} <3
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a bonus thought post for the night!!
on that nostalgia raising feelings train but it derails so it got long so its under a readmore :*
scrolling my old art made me a bit sad and nostalgic (who doesnt get those feelings though doing the same) specifically i really have my heart going out to kid me who got basically no notes on anything. (im not saying i shouldve, art was definitely kid art and questionably tagged etc!) but some i put effort into and it made me so happy to get those 10 likes or whatever. it made me post post and post even what i was working on and unfinished bits (Sure, being me? many of those never got finished bc posting gave the hit of reward chemicals, no response meant no motivation to finish to get more yknow?)
its weird thinking ive now as an adult got a handful of posts with -hundreds- of notes. one over a thousand!! (sure, the really good and popular artists may have thousands but hey they deserve it!!) its weird that i sort of maybe now know what to do to get a reaction out of my prefered niche of the internet. that if i tried w some more consistently, who knows?
im proud of everything in my current art tag. (mostly. no. i am proud shut up brain) i feel slightly like posting more wips. bc i have a ton. surprisingly? ive been drawing way more in the past year than ive been posting (new for me). of course, there is no obligation to post it. why post stuff im not happy with? only to get anxious abt it? sure posting that one teaser when i was actively working on making it better was kinda fun. sure maybe posting some wips would make me go back and finish them bc some of them are good ideas?? but also some are just. theyd make sense to nobody but myself. and why should i share every crevice of my creativity like i used to as an attention craving kid?
my blog is my blog its me, its not a nice art blog its got all my vents and whatever i like to reblog on a given day on it all together. i could make a new tag that feels less like a portfolio to post wips i abandoned or doodles that never went further. it might be nice having them out here. but somehow i feel like id be too embarassed to post them, for my few followers to actually see them. what if i actually tagged them and ppl in tags saw my nonsense doodles? is it worth it? right now my art tag feels like its: dinluke and finished at that ONLY. things that people who come on my blog would like to see perhaps...
hahahhahahha i just crashed my Krita trying to with brash abandon look at all the unposted wips i have at once
turns out i have like. a handful of original works that never got past a rough doodle stage which is fair yknow they were just ideas that could be fleshed out but dont need to. some of them are very personal vent art
ive got a few sketch to tiny doodle to questionable attempt at painting etc bits of the star wars ladies. reminds me that i should branch out in my star wars posting and that drawing women is just way easier and more natural to me why dont i do it more?
ive got a good few fic inspired sketches that never got legs and tbf? theyre olddd now.
ive got like 12 frames of the inktober challenge from last year... in the style of posting 5 at a time, theyve all been sketched out and like half are i think finished. obviously october went long and at some point it just felt weird to post them even if i finished them. i sort of decided if i finish them up early autumn i could get away w posting them for beginning of october while i had a try at the new inktober? idk why i like a challenge to force me to draw more than i do in a year. and then it takes me a year lol. i have a set of 5 that are all inspired by fic, and like. i still like the idea of them. unfortunately? some of the references were old.. A YEAR AGO. sure theres like, the appreciation for vintage and telling ppl we like their work ages on. but i worry the authors no longer are in the fandom or want to be reminded of their work? etc etc. some of them are meh, some i like.
ngl i am especailly happy w my oct 31 post, which i really wish id finished on time for last year. heres to seeing if i post it this year? maybe i’ll finish what i want to finish of them (theres like. 2 im just really not inspired for and never was) and then have a wee collage of them to post, w the oct 31 prompt seperate, as a sort of. hey wip clear out! these are the stragglers from last year :))
maybe ill post original art one day when i get drawn enough to finish one.
ok ok hi welcome indepth to my thought process, bonus thoughts for every thought included. this doesnt need to be on the internet SURE but its a small time capsule for myself ok?
i dont think right now making a doodle tag to post wips is gonna bring me anything but anxiety and feelings of inadequacy i know too well from posting art as a teen. maybe at some point itll help break the barrier and ill just. post shit but it doesnt have to be on my ““portfolio tag”“
i could pick up an wip to finish now, ive got a good few candidates. but i think i should best just, shake off the cobwebs on smth new so i dont feel like im ruining it. it might be a rey or a leia or other star wars heroine portrait. it might be grogu bc hes an already ugly gremlin. it might be something else. i might be talking a high load of shit bc its 3 am again and i should go sleep rather than push myself in delirium. odds are tomorrow im exhausted again, feel like i should do things that actually benefit me in my life and address responsibilites, and shut down under the weight of the thought of it and not do anything until i go crazy at night again? time will tell but rn im stuck in that loop.
perhaps i should never have posted this bc its very long and personal but also? i kinda doubt anyone will read it and thats ok :)) if you are here, hi sorry that you know me better now! uhhh thoughts on the above?
#haeroniel talks#this ramble ran away from me!! it got long sorry#basically im wondering if posting wips as they are would be fun bc i used to do that but concluded itd probably give more anxiety than fun#had a look at said wips in the process and have some thoughts on them#kiss kiss goodnight i should try sleep but the brain is a fun little organ and i process thoughts best verbally (or over text#same thing)
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ive been wanting to ramble bout this for years (like since 2019 HAHA) but i held off on it because i figured the fandom phenomenon i was seeing was gonna be a one off thing. something thatd fade with time.
it wasnt. it's still here and so i wanna articulate what i think about
the fast food-ification of fandom
here’s the thing about fandom right now; we operate on social media platforms that are inherently fast paced. social media platforms these days prioritize new and popular content, but more than that, it creates an audience that is always searching for new content very, very quickly.
tumblr is a bit of a lesser evil, in terms of contributing to this (still does, tho, dont think im exempting hellsite derogatory, LMAO). but twitter, imo, is a hellscape with a system that hammers this in so so much: the lack of an explorable archive, no account specific tag search mechanism, a timeline algorithm that shows an account's followers the popular tweets first instead of chronologically and oftentimes even if you follow that account you will not be able to see all the tweets that account makes lest you go to the profile specifically. twitter is built for "new new new!" and it's not its fault, i guess, cuz it was not designed with fandom interaction in mind. still, it's become a very popular fandom platform and the "new new new!" mindset the system promotes ends up seeping into the members of fandom itself.
and there’s nothing wrong with wanting new content. but the problem here, i think, is the speed at which we consume fanwork. and the lack of memory for fanwork thats already been made.
fanwork consumption feels like it's going 100000000 mph with these kinds of systems and thanks to the lack of a navigate-able archive or tagging system, it's nigh impossible to find something from even last week. an incredible piece of fanart or fanfic or any fanwork gets attention for 3 days tops before it's lost and very very difficult to find. things are so fast and it's harder to remember them now.
swerve to another point: the trend of silence
im gonna bash on twitter again (SORRY KJSFBSD, like, i do have a twitter btw so im speaking from experience. i'd like to make it clear im not bashing ppl who do like/use twitter, im waving my hands frustratedly at twitter's systems) cuz tweet wc limits make it so that literally not much can be said! additionally, to add comments in QRT takes attention/notifs away from original poster, so if u QRT an art with praise, OP will see that! but if ppl reply more praise to the art on that QRT, OP will not get notified so that praise might as well have been yelled to the void
im a passionate believer that if youve got something nice to say about a fanwork and/or the creator of that fanwork, say it on their turf so they can see it. twitter makes it easier for this to not happen. positive attention and feedback matters so so much to creators and im p sure im not alone in saying that i cherish each and every comment (be it on ao3 or tumblr tags/comments or asks) ive ever gotten
and like, i know the argument to that is "make fanwork for yourself! dont make it for attention, do it cuz you enjoy it!" and "for every feedback you dont get, theres many lurkers who value and love what you do!"
i agree with that first thing very much but only the bit that says "do it cuz you enjoy it!" cuz yea! fandom is about having fun! but also like...isnt the point of fandom the fact that it's not just you alone, but you in a community?
a big draw of fandom, for me, is that it's likeminded deranged nerds all obsessed about the same thing. these are people on similar wavelengths and theyre people PLURAL. do fanwork cuz you enjoy it but the implication that a fancreator should be happy in isolation doesnt make sense cuz thats not what fandom is about.
and as for "there are lurkers who silently enjoy what you make" well...why?
why not say something when youve got something nice to say?
be it fanart or fanfic or fanmeta or anything, if the thought already pops up in your head, why not say it somewhere the creator can see it?
i totally understand if youre shy or if it's difficult to put into words whatever your thoughts are, like, huge mood. but also fandom becomes an infinitely funner space to be in when people are saying things
even a comment thats something simple and short makes the current landscape of fast paced churning out of fanworks feel less like we’re shouting in a forest alone, and more like we’re shouting in a forest and somebody yelled “I LOVED THIS” back. it’s really nice.
this is not a criticism towards anybody, but instead just kinda like, an inquiry to how we consume and interact with fanwork, these days. it’s really fast. like, so fast. tags update daily with new things every single day, every second, and it’s easy to just look and look and not say a thing. and that ease of fanwork consumption also makes it easy to forget just how hard it is to make things. how hard it is to make anything at all.
so much heart and effort is put into every work in fandom, and ive always seen fandom as a space for unapologetic enjoyment and community. treating fandom like a fast-food transaction where u get a thing in 5 minutes and drive off is...well, i dunno. but for me, among many things, it makes us forget just how much heart and effort is in all things.
#dootdootdoot#ok to rb#ramble over kJBJKGDS i have too many thoughts always all the time#anyway i hate constant hustle culture and how that seeped into my brain n so i feel guilty all th time#for not making things everyday
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A message from BP’s mail-lady
hoo boy here we go. this is gonna be a long post.
hi! im lemon, and i started this blog on april 2nd 2012. and today, april 22nd 2021, im posting beanpole’s last message here. its been one hell of a ride.
how it all started
i was 15, spending time on tumblr, when i suddenly started seeing people posting about this movie that was about to be released soon, called the lorax. now, im not american, so i had never really heard of dr seuss, but people were so enthusiastic! so i watched a shitty cam-rip of the movie and joined the fandom.
and then the askblogs started, the first one i came across being swag, of course. i had run askblogs for other fandoms before, so i wanted to join in on the fun. but regular once-ler was already taken... and green suit once-lers, and audrey and ted too... so i had to come up with something original.
the movie started with the once-ler leaving home and his family showing just how awful they were, and i started thinking, ‘man, his childhood mustve sucked..’
‘haha what if i made a blog about once-ler when he was my age?’
an impulse decision that somehow gained me 100 followers in a week. somehow relatable tumblr teen once-ler was relatable to 2012 tumblr. who couldve known?
i get kinda emotional looking back at it, honestly. people were so fun and creative. id stay up late to keep talking to people (bc timezones are hell).
and i had a lot of fun just pretending to be a flawed boy, one who seemed nice but could be rather snarky, who would lie and break promises at the drop of a hat, but only because he didnt know any better, not out of malice. and i couldnt have done it without you all. i never wouldve known that he hates tomatoes, or likes celine dion, or wears the same thneed every dang day just because that happened to be his icon.
was it silly to get obsessed with a childrens movie? maybe. but i had a great time.
(im also happy to see there are still people in the fandom that are carrying on the legacy... you guys rock)
truffula flu
i think most people that remember bp remember him from truffula flu’s camp entre, over at youngbeansprout... a blog ive sadly lost the password to. im a big baby so i never thought id enjoy writing about something as scary as zombies, but i saw my friends doing it so i went in blind, without any idea on a backstory for the au or whatever.
....which is probably why he wasnt always all that prominent in the story, haha. well, that, and timezones.
it was probably an even wilder time than running this blog was, because there was actual plot. and people would liveblog it. and make fanart. and cosplay??? someone out there? cosplayed my oc to a convention? its one of those things that make you go. huh. i made something cool. probably never gonna reach that high ever again, but it sure is a fond memory. i still have a folder on my computer with all the fanart and it still brings a smile to my face.
also... i never did get to finish zombie au’s story, but i did plan how it would end. so if youve managed to read this far, congratulations! youve hit the hidden deep lore.
---
so the thing with truffula flu was that entre made the trees fucked up, right? and those spores would turn ppl into zombies. and of course you could become a zombie from being bitten, but it also traveled through the air...
everyone in camp entre (who wasnt immune or already infected) wore a gasmask, a bandana, something to cover their mouth. bp, who wandered into the apocalypse by accident, did not. he didnt even know.
so little by little, the spores gathered in his lungs, until he realized. oh no. im getting sick. oh no. oh no oh no oh no. he messed around audrey’s equipment to confirm he was infected, and he got scared. he was a scared kid and he was going to die.
except. ted had handed him a cure for safe-keeping. a cure bp had sworn to protect with his life. but it could save him, right? in a moment of cowardice, he uses it on himself... only to find out there never was a cure.
(now heres the part where my memory gets fuzzy but) the ‘’’cure’’’ was given to ted, who was already slightly rotting, meant as a mercy kill. the people who gave him the cure assumed he would use it on himself.
except ted was a good kid, who wanted to use the cure to help others.
and beanpole? his lies and broken promises came back to bite him in the ass, and he died sudden and alone. the end. :)
ANYWAY
the end of an era
ive wanted to wrap this blog up for several years now but i never knew how. younger me wanted to give him a happy ending, which back then i thought was getting him a girlfriend.
but as i got older, i realized... not everything can be fixed with a relationship. he’d have to learn to overcome his flaws by himself, learn his lesson about honesty and sincerity and the dangers of greed. and then, maybe he’ll have a happy ending.
so as he rides into the sunset on this day, imagine.
maybe he’ll end up cutting down a forest and regretting it the rest of his life.
maybe he’ll become a rock-star. an inventor. a teacher. a gentleman. a cannibal? okay, maybe not that one
or maybe he’ll continue traveling forever, singing songs about boredom.
who knows? there’s infinite possibilites out there.
--
and with that, im logging off too. if you ever need me, ill be over on twitter as his deoncelerized self, bean.
<3
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i was going to dump this into @time-and-space‘s inbox, but then it spiraled out of control and became super long. so im making it into a post. heres some thinking abt doctor who/torchwood/class/merlin parallels ! (specifically abt the parallels between tenrose/janto/charlie x matteusz/merthur) (keep in mind that my knowledge on merlin is not so good) (also feel free to correct me if im wrong or add anything on) (also this contains spoilers for ... all the shows. pls watch them, theyre good)
ive been thinking about the whole theme between charlie and matteusz where theyre like ?? scared to lose each other ?? and how it totally parallels to the other things like .... we have one character whos different and immortal and alien (not to mention the trauma they've been through-), but another who is supposedly "normal" and human. so, they work with it right ?
but then theres the ever-present danger of what they have to go through daily, and the fear that its going to leave them alone. i mean, they've already been left alone, but now that they've actually fallen in love, its different. its harder now.
consider the following lines:
"i think of it every day, and the only thing that stops me is you." (class, e6)
"i take it all back, but not him!"(torchwood, s3e4) (theres probably a better quote but no think, head empty)
"i could save everyone, but lose you." (doctor who, uhhh idk but i swear the doctor said something like it at some point, pls correct me if im wrong)
and yes, theyve felt this before, the pain of their entire race being wiped out, no one left but them, and everyone seems to leave them in the end. but for one second, they stop and actually think they have a chance for a while. someone who might stay.
ALSO it works as like .... the normal person is scared of the other, scared of what they can do and how they are ....
consider the following lines:
"im afraid of who you are, of what you're capable of, of what you will do" (class e6)
"you like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all." (s1e4)
"what about you, doctor? what the hell are you changing into?" (doctor who, s1e6)
the person who has been through so much is capable of doing so many things, and sometimes it scares the other one. but they witnessed genocide ! and theyre probably traumatized over it ! theyve probably done some terrible shit as a result of it ! both of them are so valid in being that way.
and another parallel i have just thought of, mentioned a lot already, but the recurring theme of killing off an entire race and how that affected the alien character ....
consider the following situations:
doctor who - the time war, in which the doctor participated, and eventually ended. // when 9 was planning to kill off the last of the daleks in the parting of ways, hesitating for a bit, knowing that it would end up destroying earth in the process, making them no better than what the daleks are
torchwood - jack's planet and how it got invaded, how his parents died as a result and why his brother did everything that happened in exit wounds. // ummm i think maybe how willingly jack was able to give the girl up to the fairies to save the human race, like hes seen what the fairies are capable of, hes seen what disasters mass murder can bring. he doesnt want to see it again.
class - well, the shadowkin invasion, both on rhodia and when it happens on earth (both times) but also the invasion with the flowers ? // how much he really wants to just kill the shadowkin like ! he even mentioned it once ("i want to murder the shadowkin. every last one ...." e6) and he just wants to do it out of revenge. but “we shouldnt avenge genocide with genocide” (we're not going to talk abt how the only thing stopping him is that he would lose matteusz in the process)
but yeah ! theyve seen first hand what it like, and when prompted to do the same thing themselves, they end up hesitating, eventually choosing the other option instead. (well... except charlie. he does it once at least.)
and finally, immortality. this ties in a lot w my first point abt losing the other person .....
doctor who - pretty easy to think about, the doctor has had so many companions over the years, and each time they end up leaving them. even after he meets rose, who wished to stay together forever ("how long are you gonna stay with me?" "forever.") but then she ends up leaving, the doctor is left to continue on for so much longer ..
torchwood - pretty same as above, jack never commits himself to a relationship, he knows everyone will leave him anyway. but then he meets ianto jones. and it all changes, he falls in love, which he said he would never do, and thats why he doesnt ever say "i love you," because once he says it then he cant deny it any longer. once he says it than he will have to admit that ianto, someone that he does love, is lost to him.
class - ok, charlie isnt technically immortal from what i know, but i am assuming he probably has a longer lifespan than humans (basing this off this line - "you want to know who would be the last one standing out of the five of us? i would." e6) so ! its mentioned a lot (and is the main theme, as i said earlier) that matteusz and charlie dont want to lose each other. i want to specifically point out the line “every day i think, please dont go where i cant follow.” (e8) because it just so implies that charlie is different. he can go places, live longer than matteusz ever can.
going to add this onto the end here, but i just thought that actually merlin kinda fits into this too !
loss - the loss of his father, of his one childhood friend (will?), the knights of the round table (pretty sure a lot of them die too, correct me if im wrong) and even arthur who leaves in the end. everyone around him just seems to leave or turn bad
fear - we all know merlin is powerful, right ? i mean i swear it says somewhere hes like ... the greatest sorcerer to ever live or smth. and yes, arthur doesnt technically fear him, but if we think about what would have happened if merlin revealed his magic earlier, when camelot was still under the rule of uther and arthur was still scared of ppl w magic .... idk abt this one ndjnsjd it works in my head okay
trauma - had to get some help from @a-confused-contradictory-mess here and she brought up some good points ! when he was younger, because of his magic, he never really fit in. his mother made him hide, because she feared what would happen if he found out. (i ... think?) imagine what that does to someone, having to hide something about yourself for so long.
immortality - after everyone leaves around him, theres kinda no escape. he has to live with it for all the years that his immortal life goes by. this ties in a lot w how jack and the doctor feel, with everyone around them making them left all alone.
tldr: losing the one person they always thought would stay, one being scared of the other's power, the trauma affecting one of them, immortality and the price that comes w it are all some really good parallels between these ships/shows and genuinely kill me inside
#no good content only incoherent ramblings#none of this makes sense !#i am fully aware#doctor who#torchwood#bbc class#merlin#yes theres probably only a few ppl out there who have watched all 4 shows but i am posting this anyway#it took me three hours#and for what#i am probably going to end up making a gifset of this .... we'll see
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self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr
so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.
i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill.
for good:
seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through
i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works
politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well
for ill:
wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone
not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby.
the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting.
for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.
one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends.
at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.
on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me.
i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness.
i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories.
i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.
tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir
p.s. fun facts about this blog:
i’ve never changed my icon or blog title
i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me.
my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)
during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books
#gloomth and circumstance#this is definitely not required reading!#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog#w bonus blog trivia at the bottom that amuses me and probably no one else
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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr
What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^
Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))
What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.
Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.
What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.
What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….
Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)
Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.
Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).
Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.
Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.
Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”
so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D
- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]
- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd
- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho
- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333
- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!
- gotta love tsukishima <3
- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)
- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw
- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more
- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too
so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333
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Would you be willing to share how you might rewrite Yukizome, Sakakura, and Munakata to make them likable characters (if not ppl Bc there’s a big difference)???
ahhhhhhh this ask got me so stupidly excited that I was like wavin my hands around. I think about how to rewrite their characters OFTEN. very often. I’m gonna go with likeable character over likeable people because I think they work better where they’re actually not that likeable people.
The one I think about the MOST is Munakata. He was SUCH wasted potential and I partially blame the medium for that (a single season anime is too constrained for future, it needed more time and care to be a proper story). But Munakata is actually so close to being a compelling character but they made some MAJOR mistakes with him. This ended up getting really long and more like a 3 page ADHD ramble essay. SO IM VERY SORRY to anyone who cannot read this but TYTYTY if you did because these ideas make me very happy! Oh it’s only about Munakata btw because of how long it got
The thing about Munakata is that he is designed to be a foil to Naegi. In fact a majority of dr3 future FOCUSES on this foil dynamic. It is Naegi’s hope vs Munakata’s hope. The World’s hope vs The FF’s hope. And more importantly it is True Hope vs Corrupted Hope.
This is a fantastic concept...so why didn’t it work in canon? I think that the biggest most glaring issue with Munakata’s hope is his logic. Munakata is meant to be a logical man, although with corrupted morals that lead him astray. Yet in canon his logic is laughably infallible. For example as a major figure in the FF and someone who wants to spread hope....why would he tell Naegi to kill himself? More importantly why does he continue to try and slaughter Naegi? The issue here isn’t from the fact that he wants him dead but from the fact that he is under the IMPRESSION that this entire game is being broadcast to the world.
Think about this for a second. In Munakata’s eyes he is going to kill the Ultimate Hope, an international symbol of a better life, live on TV. He doesn’t just want to kill the Ultimate Hope..he wants to do it BRUTALLY as a MAJOR FIGURE OF THE FF. IMO this should have happened later on as the game furthers the emotional turmoil in Munakata’s head and he eventually snaps and gives in to the desire to kill Naegi despite the fact that this is live. And then there should be CONSEQUENCES for that. I wanted so badly a realization where Munakata realizes that he is hurting the Ultimate Hope in front of what he believes is the entire world.
Another issue with Munakata’s logic is saying things such as...implying that the HPA KG was...just a game. I mean...people DIED. it's not hard to see how wrong that logic is. you can't say “this is the real world now” when what Naegi experienced WAS the real world. I think that this could be fixed through a bit of world building. DR3 Future is rather isolated from its world. We don’t really know much about the world and its dynamics. I think it would make perfect sense if the general public viewed the HPA KG as a tv show, they got numb to the sight and even those untouched by despair had a hard time connecting that these are REAL people suffering. With this previously established Munakata expressing that the KG was not real would make a lot more sense and play into his corrupted idea of hope.
There is also Munakata’s connection to his other friends. Now I’ve talked about this before but the game was clearly designed to BREAK Munakata and Naegi. This way the FF would die, both the FF and World’s hope would be broken, and upon seeing this Mitarai would have no choice but to deploy his own forced hope. So it makes perfect sense that Yukizome’s death would break him (in fact if she hadn’t died in that way, her NG code was designed to be Munakata’s fault). But something about it felt...superficial. Again I think this is the mediums fault but it almost feels as though Munakata just forgets about Yukizome until later. I think they should spend more time establishing his pain and what he has lost and why this pushes him to kill. In his eyes if she can die then nothing else matters. It should be THE breaking point, not the first push. I do like the betrayal he feels towards realizing she had despair but it needed more time to fester.
And his relationship with Sakakura also felt weak. In all honesty it was hard for me to feel as though they were ever friends. Sakakura is written as though he just follows Munakata like a loyal dog and Munakata just orders him around. Establish their relationship more! Why are they such good friends? Why is Sakakura important to him? And more importantly why did Munakata decide to cruelly gut Sakakura knowing he was about to confess? This is because he believed that Sakaura was despair and that his confession was more manipulation, but they didn’t show this well at ALL. Munakata just comes across as a major a-sshole who does not care. I also personally found it distasteful that when changing his heart Munakata only seemed to cry for Yukizome. I understand that was his love interest but Yukizome at the end of the day killed herself. Sakakura however was an unnecessary betrayal he took into his own hands AS HE HIMSELF KILLED HIM. He should have more guilt over that! Not just in that moment where he runs to Sakakura, but ahead of time as well! Maybe even DURING his rampage they could have shown him having moments of guilt but he is so absorbed in the idea that all despairs have to die that he doesn’t even realize he has become despair in the name of hope.
A BIG weakness on Munakata’s part comes with interacting with other characters. He is a man who should know how to take charge, lead, and doesn't know what to do when things are getting too crazy even though he THINKS he does. Munakata is heavily flawed, OBVIOUSLY flawed, but many of the interactions with him are as tho his rampage isnt a big deal. There should be reasons for this! Why do people trust Munakatas guidance so much? I dont know! All ive seen from him is that hes insane! Maybe even pieces where around others hes a lot nicer so you can understand why they follow him, even though hes ready to gut Naegi alive with a flaming katana. His interactions with others feel like the writers just wanted to see the next big evil thing they could think of, but for Munakata’s character this doesn't make sense because he was appointed a high status in the foundation for a reason. Maybe even have people say they disagree with some of his methods but at the end of the day he gets the job done!
There is another major missed opportunity here and it's why Muanakata wants Naegi dead so badly in the first place. The remnants. Hiding terrorists in the apocalypse is a PERFECTLY valid reason to want someone dead and think they're a bad guy! But I think since Naegis initial arrest was already so hostile and violent we get the sense that the FF is simply just...crazy.
And let’s think about what Munakata WANTS from Naegi. He does not just want Naegi dead he wants something worse. He wants Naegi to suffer first. He thinks that Naegi doesnt understand his own personal pain. He thinks that because Naegi protected the remnants he must also not care about the suffering the remnants caused. He wants Naegi to feel despair and then die. This is important to his corrupted hope. He thinks the suffering must be shared in order to understand who must die, but he is creating a cycle of pain. Tie this back to the broadcasting issue. He wants Naegi to break for everyone to see. I think..and this is just a concept..I think it would have been a great idea for Munkata to force Naegi to watch the despair video so that he has no choice but to understand.
AND themes are majorly important to Danganronpa. And I don’t think its a stretch to say that there are parallels between Munakata and Naegi. In fact I would say that there are aspects of the og trio in this new trio. I think it would have been really cool if they showed how our favorite trio could have ended up if they had been corrupted as well. But the parrellels dont stick strongly. I think it would have been cool to show a past where Munakata’s idealism lies more strongly than Naegis. As the student council president there was a time where he himself had to use his words to solve problems. Perhaps he learned that sometimes his words made things worse. Munakata does not have Naegi’s talent of emotional intelligence. He is a man of action over words. So he interprets this as WORDS being the problem rather than understanding he does not have these skills. Especially when the apocalypse breaks out, it becomes all action over words. So he sees Naegi who is all talk as a genuine threat who will let everyone die through his “weak ineffective” idea of hope.
Another parallel could be drawn from the fact that they both have hope based careers. Their job is too keep things hopeful. Maybe Naegi stays safe doing public broadcasted speeches, while Munakata is on the field weeding out despairs. This would cause Munakata to feel as though Naegi is doing no real work yet getting all the credit for being a savior.
Munakata constantly complains that Naegi does not know true pain. But he and we as an audience have followed Naegi through his entire process of trauma. We know he is in the wrong. But what do we as an audience know about Munakata’s suffering? We are shown almost nothing! There are some implications, but for how intense he is implications are not enough. We need to see his suffering. We should see how he has witnessed death. Yukizomes death is not nearly enough for this because he talks as though he has suffered for years. How can we as an audience understand that when we have never seen it? How can we understand Munakata when he is outright denying Naegi’s trauma that we KNOW existed with no proper justification for his reasoning?
I also believe that Munakata should have died. It actually upsets me a bit that he was PLANNED to die but didn't. He should have died protecting Naegi after all that suffering and relentless brutality he offered him. Munakata again is a man of action over word, and protecting Naegi with his last breath is the perfect way to show how in the end he changed. Especially when all he wanted initially was for Naegi to die. I find that much more satisfying than just…...walking off to who knows where.
So lets recap some changes. Munakata needs a proper display of his past traumas and his relationship with Sakakura and Yukizome. Munakata needs a proper display of his work relationships and the respect he has earned. Munakata needs to fall into corruption at a better pace, and have geniune reasons for his illogical attacks on Naegi. Munakata needs to care more for his friends. Munakata needs to deal with the turmoil of wanting to hurt Naegi while he believes the world is watching. Munakata needs to die for Naegi
This has gotten long...and I still have things to say. There is so much to make Munakata a good character. Future had a lot of potential and is amazing for a rewrite concept. As for Sakakura and Yukizome since this has gotten long feel free to ask for another round of this individually when asks are open again! If you read all of this somehow….TYSM
#ask#danganronpa#kyosuke munakata#dr3#dr3 spoilers#analysis#???#sorry sorry sorry ahhhhh i have so much to say fuuuuihkhuhi
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ok here’s the post of Me answering to your hot takes!!
i got a grand total of 15 asks so!!!! time to have fun
pokèmon hot takes by my lovely followers lets go gang
anon:
Pokemon went way fucking downhill post gen 5 and hasn't even come close to it since
@the-fifteen:
Last good pokemon games were Diamond/Pearl/Platinum - Black/White. Beyond that point quality went down. Also Pokemon Ranger are the best spin-offs
hardly an unpopular opinion, half of the community agrees with you and personally? i don't.
i do think the games should focus a lot more of their difficulty since more often than not it holds your hand a little too much and i personally didnt like kalos at all if not for the elite four and lysandre, but i REALLY enjoyed oras, sumo and swsh so. bad take OPs.
also tho i never played ranger but i heard that a lot of ppl really likes it, so once again hardly an unpopular opinion
anon:
my unpopular Pokémon opinion is that I do not care about stats and strats I am here for cute Pokémon ONLY. if Pokémon ain't cute than they ain't in the party
@pisceancryptid:
idk if im late for this but my Pokemon Opinion is that minmaxing has ruined pokemon for me i used to just go with the one i liked most and didnt care about IVs and natures and stuff much but now i do and i hate it, can i go back to how i used to be instead of feeling bad that im using a sub-par 'mon
anon how does it feel to be right
idk fams i dont care about competitive, give me the cute pokes. and with cute i also mean grimmsnarl
as for piscean, tbh don’t feel bad for it!!! just jump in the game without caring for it, who cares! my teams have never been balanced in the slightest and never really have me big issues in the games, play the game as you want!!!
@dizzymosquito:
Most of the 'rival' characters you have in the games have been completely milk toast/unmemorable/melodramatic or otherwise boring as dirt. Gary (OG Red/Blue rival) is the only one to really make any impact in his own right.
tbh on one side, i HEAVILY disagree.
some WERE boring (coughs at trevor tierno hugh calem/serena and brendan/may) or criminally underused (coughs at trace, gladion and shauna), but i personally really enjoy the rival characters and i think they have very good plots, too!
some are there just to be your friend, like berry and hau, but most of them feel like they have something to prove! wally overcoming his health and fears warmed my heart and so seeing cheren, bianca, bede and marnie finding their place; klara and havery are HILARIOUS,and i could spend an entire week talking about how much hop and silver made me cry.
heck, silver is one of my all-time favorite characters in the entire series!!
BUUUUUUUUT on the other side, i agree that green feels like the only character i could call a rival. silver is an antagonist for half of the game, klara and avery are obviously seen as a joke, and everyone else doesnt really feel like someone i have to defeat. green, on the other hand, feels GOOD kicking down!!!!
anon:
Stunfisk is annoying
not an unpopular opinion, youre right but go back to hot take school
anon:
Seeing people be creepy/weird about gardevoir is the most annoying fucking thing and it makes me so mad. i wish people on the internet knew how to be normal rather than obsess over something when it shows the slightest feminine quality in its design and honestly as much as I like it i wish it didn't exist so I didn't have to deal with liking it with the knowledge that people are Like That about it.
you're right and you should say it, and this is one of the main reasons most of my gardevoir characters/gardevoir i GIVE to my cahracters are male.
but also i found much more mewtwo porn than gardevoir's so. yeah.
anon:
Chairman Rose isn't Satan, no; he's a "villain" who only fights you because of a scheduling error and he's otherwise actually a really big sweetheart we promise pleasesupportyourlocalmegacorporation. SwSh thinks hypercapitalism is fun and cool right down to letting you ship off your Pokémon to work in the gig economy
hey real quick did we play the same game op
i do agree Rose Isn't Satan, he's more of a morally grey character in my book, but you're REALLY reaching when it comes to your second point. i know swsh's plot isn't exactly the best written one but the hypercapitalism felt really criticized to me?
idk, like!! bede and hop get HEAVILY fucked up in their hope to be under the spotlight/follow the steps of someone in power, Capitalist Icon Rose gets demonized by his choices (btw he wasnt the villain bc he rescheduled, he was because he felt like THE ENERGY FOR THE REGION WASN'T LASTING TOO LONG AND WAS WILLING TO RISK THE APOCALYPSE TO GET MORE OF IT!!!!THAT'S CAPITALISM 101), and its heavily implied that some gym leaders really don't vibe with their workplace, mostly piers (who the game heavily sides with), nessa and lowkey melony and gordie
also with the "you send pokemon to gain money so thats bad", fam. do you also not sell nuggets and rare bones? it was barely about the economy and more like “here’s an easy way to gain EXP for the pokemon you dont use in-game but you use in raids and stuff”
idk if you needed straws you couldve just asked instead of reaching that much
anon:
I think that, while some animations are iffy in sword and shield, a lot of them are really fun/funny. The idea that Meltan and Spiritomb HAVE to follow directly behind you is nitpicky and takes away from the fact that these are pokemon who are not very mobile whatsoever (also it's really funny!!!!! Whatever happened to laughing at pokemon being slightly inept!!!)
tbh the Pokèmon Walking Behind You thing is hilarious. with drednaw being one of my aces its hilarious seeing the poor guy taking one step every 10 of mine??
idk its really super funny and GOD I CANT IMAGINE SPIRITOMB,,
anon:
I don't find leon attractive or charming.... Like At All
wrong, ignorant and wrong
@haematophiliac:
THE ONLY REASON GEN 1 IS SO LOVED ABOVE THE REST IS CAUSE GEN 1 WAS NEW AND ORIGINAL AT THE TIME.
YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT LOUDER!!!!! gen 1 is overrated and didn't age well, no matter how many times you remake it, don't change my mind you CAN'T
anon:
Raihan is overrated
...fellas is it ok to say i dont like raihan at all asndmg,,
NOW DONT GET ME WRONG i asw a LOT of interpretations from the rpc that are Very Good and honestly makes me like the character, but everytime i get back to the game i remember that i really cant stand this guy
@vampirefantasy:
i didn't play gold/silver as a kid so the hype for those games are lost on me. sapphire holds a lot more weight bc of that. also the starters in g/s don't appeal to me very much
tbh this comes from someone who started with gen 2 so they hold a special place in my heart, but i do agree that silver is VERY good and underrated imo??? thats mostly due alpha sapphire being the first game i played properly after leaving pokèmon behind for a long while, so hoenn is very important to me
as for the starters in gsc, well,,, theyre the only starters that REALLY makes me think when it comes to choose them bc i love them all equally, so i disagree with that :°>
anon:
While I think gigantamaxing is interesting, it annoys me knowing that in 1 or 2 more pokemon generations, it's undoubtedly going to be phased out of the game/lore entirely because pokemon can never let something stay in the game
youre so right!!!!!!!!!! so right
like this comes from someone who personally didnt care much for megaevos, but it’s kinda sad gamefreak goes “heres a new thing!!!! forget about it for the next game tho!”
it happened with triple battles, it happened with megaevolutions, it happened with z-moves and its of course going to happen with gigantamax. i get its meant to make each region special, but it kinda sucks :c
anon:
my hot take is I still play Pokémon go. I am the king of my town's gyms they are almost all mine
hottest take: pokeGo is better now than when it first game out. give me your code OP
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hello! i dont wanna seem like im bein rude but im just curious, what u have against ships with kris? IM NOT SAYIN ITZ BAD!!! im just curious is all... AND IM SORRY OF I PHRASED THIS REALLY BADLY, i just dont wanna follow you in case i make you uncomfortable (mainly cuz i kin kris and hc them as an enby lesbian...) and i wanna just make sure before hand!
Hey!! Ok so the ships i lstd in my bio is very spcfc bc- well 1st thngs 1st, hewwo, i’m a fictive! I’m not kin of kris, i am an intrjct of kris deltarune dreemurr, i’m in a system 👀 i wnt go on abt it 2 much in case u already kno what a system is/what fictives/introjects r
Tbh i cant stop u frm intrctng w me, b the rsns i mentioned these ships spscfclly is bc
1) Krisei = i c ralsei 2 b RLLY close 2 my bro he looks likes asriel n it makes me feel Rlly Weird, n half the ships that hav me n him r me being hyper feminzd or vice versa n thats wild, b the biggst rsn is that ralsei looks like asriel n is implied 2 b asriel, thats Wack, very wack
2) Krisriel = we are SIBLINGS, just bc its not by blood dsnt mean were nt fmly?? I kno u ddnt say u ship this, b 4 those who do, yall sick, n thats so not fair 2 adopted kids worldwide yo
3) Krusie = My rsns 4 this r less concrete if i were a singlet, b as a fictive i c her as Only my best friend, n if yall ship me w her, my big fear is ppl comin 2 my blog lookin 4 that content n tagging my posts as a ship when i mean it in a friend way. If yall ship this i dnt h8 u b like, im prsnlly uncomfy
EDIT Jan 2021: PS. I alrdy said it in a ‘future’ post aftr thise ws made, b if ur a fictive n ur canon involvd krusie thn I’m ok w tht! we cnt chnge our canons n havin tht b ur canon is compltly diffrnt thn if u were a Singlet comin up 2 my blog shippin in instd of livin it- idk if thise mkes sens
4) kruselle = While i did hav a crush on Noelle in my prsnl canon @ som point, i dnt like the ship rn (PRSNLLY) bc i 100% fully support a gay lesbian couple out here, + ive met a susie who dates a noelle. Also in my canon prsnlly my Susie n Noelle tried gttng 2gthr/got 2gthr n i jst dnt feel the same way anymr. Meta-wise, i kno its jst a theory, i knda like, dnt wnna take away that gay rep, idk, prsnlly i jst feel weird seeing art of us tgthr, i dnt feel the sme anymr abt my Noelle esp bc Susie n her got 2gthr
5) krusielle = we r all friends n u think i dnt c the parts of the fandom that sexualzs thise? I Rlly Do, can we not b highschoolrs n not b all frnds
Disclaimer: i said it earlier b ill say it again, i’m b a fictive/intrjct of my source, b as a Kris/as myself, n since ur askin me prsnlly this is my rsns,,, if u shipped me w litrlly any1 else i wldnt care DLJEKSJJ ive seen shippings of me n berdly n i spprt. N b4 i get bumped, if ur a fictive who likes these ships or r in these ships, dnt take my word as law bc again these r based on my prsnl stuff n my canon, mayb in ur canon the ship is 100% or even did happen, i wldnt b mad @ u 4it tht wld b weird
The only ships i 100% condemn in krisei n krisriel, n u cant chnge my mind im srry
Thanks 4 being consdr8 enough 2 ask tho :,^/ im srry if somwer here ininvalid8d smth if u like 1 of these shps
It dsnt mean its wrng (unless its krisei or krisriel) i jst have very strng prsnl feelings abt it
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My g, last year i dreamed of a wingless plane.. that very day i watch a twilight zone ep that ended with a wingless plane scene. That's just one of countless predictions ive gotten right passively without thinking on it. There's times when id predict damn near every move the agents charged to surveillence me from upstairs or outside make. Like id be still in attempts at meditative poses, then id flick my hand or feet or finger when i know they about to move and be correct like 99% of the time. And they just ignore it. I be on some neo shit and they be on that "whatever negro get with the capitalist program" shit to dissuade me from talking like this. And theyll use all social networks within gov reach to silence me. It's just too much to say on here, they got me in some typa exile over this. I dont get up here or anywhere to speak on this cus i feel like itll just be suppressed with events. But remember, capitalisms new gold is predicting movements and flexing private data. It's the neocolonialist way of stealing resources like they did my ppl in the 14th century. Just follow the breadcrumbs with me if you dare. I was born 11/10/87 (111) i have a birthmark on my right foot that looks like a 1. On my 17th bday, a bunch of ufo fleet pulled up to interrupt military training near an island that sounds a lot like my mom's name Catalina. And ever since i made this connection not only has my blog been cut off, but im always being followed and herded towards governing system to lead them. But i show no interest much like those ufo showed no interest in interacting with the US military. And this is just the surface of the iceberg. Theyre tryina gold mine a nigga that can save yall by treating me less than on a daily so i dont get too upity negro and undo these oppresive systems. I mean, just last week i dreamed i was by a sandy beach shore seeing these gigantic monsters producing tsunamis, that same morning a tsunami had hit Papua New guinea. Not the first time. Remember that earthquake+tsumami that happened in Jamaica? I passively predicted that the same day too when i made one mention of earthquakes and tsunami while speaking aloud as a coping mechanism. They obsessively surveillence me down to the heat signature of my body type shit yall. And this me trying to sanely keep this "not deep". Imagine the shit im too exhausted and burnt out to say cus they worked that antiblack antinative psychwarefare on my ass? If i kept it real yall wouldnt understand me i feel. The elite who run the gov and these intelligence agencies dont want yall knowing about niggas like me. Brings too much power and hope to the oppressed, which strikes so much superstitious fear into the powerful. They've even tried using my criminal history against me to continually bring my hopes down especially now.
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if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀
ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;
💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?
hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed
💎- What was your favorite part?
osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least
⛰️- What was the hardest part?
THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig
🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?
BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone
🏟️- Who was your intended audience?
mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]
🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?
hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)
🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?
kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode
🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?
:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing
📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?
i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.
🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?
ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️
☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?
8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,
✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?
yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters
☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?
o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually
🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?
Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist
📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?
probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe
💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?
oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))
✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?
hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e
⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?
i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;
“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “
📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?
AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce
🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?
isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,
🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?
hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all
TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )
#lochley#long post/ //#hvh#human v humanity#secret saturdays#tss#sorry to spam the tag with a longk boi but hHBHHBH#TYYY#fanfic
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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.
First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.
MUN NAME: Hela AGE: 21 CONTACT: IM
CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)
CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach
BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.
MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.
THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc.
PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.
ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.
CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO.
PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)
IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know
ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.
HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap
I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.
DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry)
ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!
WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.
WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.
HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.
WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise !
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare
- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.
IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.
- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !!
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.
WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers
WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!!
THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.
WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be
WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!
WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’
WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back
WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!
DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol
DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.
- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun
- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.
ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation.
WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.
DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.
ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.
- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.
ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.
► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.
- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.
- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off
- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: to find a goal worth living for.
- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people.
- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.
- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.
- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.
- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?
- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.
- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: the twink soul reaper who outted her.
IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.
SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!
CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥
Tagged by: @bazzardburner cheers chicken boy !!
Tagging: @hyouketsu @blooming5th @viciousvizard @glacies-tempestatem and whoever else wishes to do this!!
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every single day im more and more sure im some form of autistic mainly because of how relatable a lot of autistic headcannons im seeing are? Like ive never been tested and if i mention my thoughts to my family they laugh it off, and ik its really hard to diagnose women and adults because of ability to camouflage but i swear im somewhere on the spectrum.
I’m putting a list of stuff under a readmore, but if ppl who know about autism wants to throw in their two cents i’ll gladly take it!
I used to do the flappy hand thing when processing/dealing with high emotions, i did it for almost a decade when i was a kid before i trained myself out of it because my family and peers used to tease me about it (my parents would laugh at me because id flap when i got frustrated and joke that im trying to fly away)
i used to do the raptor hands thing when in idle mode but when i was a teen someone told me how weird it looks/it makes ppls eyes go to my chest which makes me uncomfy so now i just clasp my hands behind my back
i can never really tell what emotion im feeling unless someone else or I voice it. like i’ll be going through all the symptoms of being stressed/mad/happy, but i wont understand what emotion that is unless i say either to myself or out loud what it is, or when others point it out “oh you look happy/ amber youre pretty mad/ why are you upset?”
i hyper fixate on things, and only really like to talk about those things. my entire childhood it was birds, anything bird related i had to own, and it wasn’t until i moved off to uni that i stopped. Never really told anyone about it tho because it was a weird hobby. I had a cabinet full of ceramic birds and a wall of bird plushies that when pressed did their call.
For all that im told im really empathetic i REALLY don’t understand what other people are feeling. I know what they SHOULD be feeling based off of all the media I consume, and when i help them through their problems i either just tell them what i would want to hear or what the the solution to a similar problem a character in a book was going though. I’m really good at piecing together what ppl want to hear, and basing their solutions off of fanfiction/media that 90% I feel like it works? I mean ppl keep coming back for advice? but if it werent for that id have no fucking idea whats going on with other ppl
I’m weird about touch. now this COULD be from the fact that my family is very touch removed, but i find i crave touch, or the idea of touch, but when it happens i hate it, it makes my skin crawl, especially when ppl touch my neck. ive had the ladies at hair salons brush my hair before and me flinching every time they come close to my neck
while im not super about routine, i do find that when i have to follow someone elses i get annoyed, or when my time gets interrupted. but i think this is a normal human thing. but my brother has ocd and follows a strict routine from when he wakes up to how long he brushes his teeth so maybe im a little biased with that as a mindset for routine following
Im super particular about texture. I wont eat certain foods because of how they feel when im chewing it, velvet makes me want to rip off my skin when i touch it and i have to wipe my hands off on other fabric when i do, my skin feels super sensitive to touch so much so that seams and off textures make me what to scratch my skin off, and i often get large red welts when it happens, i also cant stand the feeling of liquid on my lips when i drink or eat, so i have to lick it off after (or pat it with a napkin) but ive noticed that no one else in my friends or family do that, and im trying to stop cause im being teased over it but its hard cause the wet feeling is AWFUL
side note on the scratching thing: i often do it when im in high emotional situations, dragging my nails up and down my legs or arms is kinda of relaxing and im im just now kinda realizing that this could be the bad version of the flapping i used to do, because i didnt scratch when i flapped, but now that i stopped the welts are here. ive also only broken my skin ONCE but i was in depressive spiral so eh.
Im so great at mimicking other people and do it so naturally that i actually had to talk with my therapist about that because i was having identity issues over the fact that i dont know who i am anymore because i just pick up other peoples ways of acting (gestures, walking, what to do with my hands) and talking (phrases, tone, ways of thinking, etc) and often decide what im going to do that would have the best social impact on ppl like im picking a choice from a phrase wheel in a video game (Ive stopped doing this as much since therapy, and now i feel like i do it a normal human amount)
when i was in elementary, i was a fucking angry kid, for no apparent that i can tell because i could never tell when i was pissed unless other ppl told me to calm down. I remember literally talking to a friend in highschool who had anger problems and i remember finding it annoying and telling myself “im not going to act like that” and then suddenly i wasnt angry anymore and the thought of punching someone is gross, but my sister stil tells me sometimes that im “violent” but i literally can never recall me doing anything like that anymore???? so whatever
theres more to this list but its 3am and i cant think really but
#personal#amber rambles#am I autistic or just making myself think i am?? more on this next time im sleep deprived#one of my students was autistic and the kid was so relatable
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