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#ive been crying over them for the past hour
honeycakelion · 1 year
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you WILL look at the cookies wife and I have made
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oatbugs · 20 days
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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cherimaho · 2 years
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me after getting half the cherry magic the movie spoiled through tiktoks
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mrfutureboy · 2 years
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:c
#original entry#im going to vent about art stuff#so feel free to skip this#so im frustrated bc drawing has been so hard for me this past year and if yall couldnt tell im not really making any art definitely not post#ing it. im aware its one of those things thatll only get worse the less i do it bc PRACTICE IS IMPORTANT#but my life this past year has been all over the place and so i havent had time and really no motivation#however i have a few commissions from december i still havent finished#and i feel HORRIBLE that its taken me so long#but some of these pieces. one in particular i have to pretty much redraw every time i come back to it bc its just giving me so many problems#(this isnt the fault of the commissioner lemme just go ahead and say that now)#i WANT to work on it and i work on it for hours but theres no progress bc ive just erased and redrawn things that whole time but something#STILL always looks off and it makes me so frustrated and i want to cry#and so im frustrated but i feel so guilty bc its been such a long time and so often when i do come back to it i just wanna give up and refun#d them. bc it isnt enjoyable anymore#it isnt enjoyable and given how much time ive already spent struggling its really not worth the money. especially bc my comms were half pric#e when i got all these comms (which is WHY i got all these comms)#so i feel like i devalued my self a little and i definitely spread myself way too thin bc i got like 6 commissions in one night or smth like#that. but i feel so guilty giving up!! this persons been WAITING for this!!!#idk yall i didnt want to cry so i stopped working on it but im SO frustrated and dont know what to do
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draconic-desire · 1 month
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hiiiii ive been brainrotting abt sunday and his triple face god thing abababah thinking abt him handcuffing reader and interrogating them with the truth thing he does to aventurine ARGHH omg questioning abt who they were with cos hes jealousssss AUGH you dont have to write anything off of this i just hope this inspires you ily
oh you have read my MIND. I’m currently in the middle of writing a fic with dr ratio interrogating reader like he did with mx. stellaron…but now imagining that with sunday?? wow.
i’m totally normal about this man. i swear.
Yan!Sunday x Gn!Reader
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Fingers drum on the table, the only break in the suffocating silence engulfing the room.
“I’ll ask you one. Last. Time.” Sunday punctuates each word with another tap of his finger, and you gasp as you feel the Harmony sink its influence another inch further into your skull.
Despite the futility, despite knowing you’ve been trying the same thing over and over again for the past half an hour, you pull at your restraints. The metal chain of the handcuffs skitters along the table, the sound like nails on a chalkboard, but it does not budge from its steel attachment. You’re firmly and inescapably chained to the table in Sunday’s office, with said perpetrator sitting opposite.
He appears calm, but you’ve learned to notice the slight twitch of his eye, the falter in his normal smirk. His patience is one wrong answer away from shattering.
At your silence, he leans back in his chair, shaking his head. His golden gaze is chastising, almost disappointed. “Angel, you know I don’t want to hurt you. Just tell me who you were with.”
You only glare at him in response. Bullshit. You’ve lost count of the amount of times he’s forced truths out of you or affections upon you through the Harmony. The psychedelic pest in your brain is almost the norm by now, a poison he has slowly been feeding you.
Oh, Triple Faced-Soul, please sear their tongue and palms with a hot iron, so that they will not be able to fabricate lies and make false vows.
Those words are branded into the flesh of your brain, your soul. And tonight, if you tell him what he wants, even more blood will be spilled.
Sunday’s jealously is as calculating as he is. It’s a knife poised at the right angle to spear you, to pin you with accusations that you can’t talk your way out of.
Like in this instance, where he has deluded himself into thinking you are trying to leave him. He’s finally let you out of Dewlight Pavilion (you’ve learned that trying to escape the dreamscape is pointless, so you’ll take your freedoms when you can), and this is the first reaction you’re met with? Being dragged to his office as soon as you returned and invaded, prodded, and violated by the Harmony?
The pressure around your temples tightens another fraction, and you cannot stop the pained cry that escapes you. Rainbow streaks cloud your vision and practically pull the words from your mouth. “I was with friends! We were at the Dreamjolt Hosterly for a couple drinks, that’s it!”
Sunday merely hums as he stands and pads towards you, taking a position at your back. You’re unable to turn around to face him, but you can feel the weight of his presence, the promise of his power, as he wraps a hand around the back of your neck.
His breath tickles the shell of your ear as he leans in and whispers, “Liar.”
One word chills your blood to ice. “I’m not!”
The grip around your neck tightens in tandem with the pressure in your head. “Do you really think you can evade me, (Y/n)? My gales are perched in every region of Penacony, and THEY are by my side. THEY see all, hear all, know all.”
As if on cue, the Harmony rips through your consciousness, and it takes all your willpower not to pass out. Exhausted, you involuntarily lean back into Sunday’s hand, which seems to please him. “Now, tell me the name of the man who dared to touch what is mine.”
Clenching your eyes shut, you shake your head. You’re out of breath and stumbling along your words. “He was just being friendly, and he was drunk, we all were, and all he did was kiss my cheek; it was a dare, and I swear to you, Sunday, we’re just friends—”
“(Y/n),” Sunday interrupts. “His name.”
The finality in the Family head’s words sends your heart plummeting. You feel your resolve slip as the Harmony tightens its grip and goes in for the kill. You speak the name aloud, barely a whisper, and know that you’ve just delivered the man’s fate.
In your half-conscious state, you barely register Sunday removing your cuffs and scooping you into his arms. He tucks you into his chest bridal-style, his wings fluttering across your face. “You did well, my angel.”
“Please,” you breathe, your voice wobbly with tears, even as you feel the Harmony retreat from your senses—for now. “Don’t hurt him.”
Sunday merely leans his head down to place a kiss along your temple. “Enough of that,” he scolds. “The only man you should be thinking about is me. After all, it is an angel’s duty to obey their god without question.”
And Sunday is, if anything, a vengeful god.
For that night was the last that you ever saw your friend. Death in dreams was your only reality.
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thekingofchungus · 2 years
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we are getting too comfortable not tagging trauma posts I think
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antiwhores · 2 years
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I am screaming crying throwing up at how good your writing is my horny ass self THANKS YOU
if i may please make a request 👉🏼👈🏼 could we have a pussy eater bakugo fic 😮‍💨 lives in my head rent free
Bakugou eating you out
Sorry this took so long, ive been tryna run my W’s up. THANK YOU!! And enjoy
Bakugou loves to eat your pussy, no matter what you have to say about it.
Pussy eating ofc, mentions of all types of freplay and shit, sex, dub-con if you squint, voyeurism, etc.
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Bakugou has never been a very shy person. Nothing about the way he carried himself is shy. When you think of antonyms for shy you think of Bakugou Katsuki.
That’s why you found yourself confused the first time he went down on you.
The farthest you had gone prior was dry humping and mutual masturbation. Giving and recieving head was a big deal for the both of you. It was the next step before penetration.
Bakugou was timid and careful when he opened your legs. It was like he thought you’d jump away and never come back if he made too sudden of a move. It was weird yet endearing since Bakugou was so aggressive when chasing pleasure while he dry humped you.
That careful attitude only lasted so long though. After a couple times, especially after you had gone all the way, he had been a lot more… demanding.
Bakugou found pleasure in tasting you on his tongue. From directly, to the aftertaste. Its like he found himself drunk on it. Your pussy made him feel like a fucking alcoholic.
He started to take you whenever and whereever he wanted. From the safe confines of your bedroom to the risky, crowded closet of his job.
He would get on his knees and place you on his mouth, holding you effortlessly.
His mouth needly licking and slurping at your constricting cunt while you covered your mouth to at least try to prevent being caught. Although, you wondered if the sounds of him eating you bare would attract people quicker than your muffled moans.
His tongue stuck deep into your cunt, scrapping itsef against your walls to bring back the slick that coated them. This was his fourth time pulling you away in the past hour. He was particularly horny today and nothing would stand inbetween him and your sloppy ecstasy, not even work.
First he pulled you to the boys bathroom on the almost abandoned rear side of the building. He fucked your mouth hard on his cock while whining praises mixed with degration. Then he fucked you onto his cock like his own personal fleshlight.
Then it was his office on the top floor. He locked his door as a compromise with you (he didnt want to at first but you said you were gonna scream if he didn’t, asshole move but it worked.) and finger fucked you on his desk until you came twice. He was about to whip himself out for a third orgasm but a knock on the door had you accidentally slapping the shit out of him.
The third time it was your office. He stumbled in with a hard cock and started to thigh fuck you until he came all over your desk and stomach. Then he proceeded to sloppily eat your cunt until you came into his mouth all while he jerked himself off.
And that leaves you to now, the fourth time. Where his lazy eyes watched you during the whole meeting you both attended. He eye-fucked you the entire time. Then after he dragged you into the closet far end of the agency building. It was cramped and he barely even squeezed the both of you in there. The only light was the one seeping from under the floor.
“Fuck,” he groaned into your cunt. You were sensitive after all the orgasm’s you had so far. Fat tears began to run down your cheeks.
A particular targeted thrust of him tongue had you flinching away from his touch. You tried to force yourself off of him but the growing pleasure made you weak in the knees. “Katsuki,” you moaned, “T’s too much. Too many times today.”
He always seems to get genuinely upset when your body jerks away from him when he eats you out. Its like taking a plate of his favorite food, made by his favorite chef, and kissed by a fucking god away from him from him, under his nose.
His grip on you tightened and he pulled you lower onto him. So much lower you were afraid he’d suffocate. A deep growl echoed through his chest as he told you to “shut up and sit pretty” through glistening lips.
He didn’t let you leave until after that painfully euphoric orgasm. And the next. By the end of your work shift, you limped to your shared home only to be fucked into complete immobility as soon as you arrived.
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emeritusemeritus · 2 months
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overstimulation and breeding with the twins? ive read both of your brat-taming fics and I’m just on the edge of my seat i swear to god. your writing hits me so differently. 🫣
My dear Anon, you clearly know the way to my heart. You ask, I provide the completely sinful smut, enjoy! 🖤
Warnings: where do I even start? Smut, graphic smut, piv, oral (m receiving). Fingering. Breeding link, pregnancy kink, possessiveness, overstimulation, cum play. Polyamory, two boyfriends, excessive mention of pregnancy.
Word count: 1.2k
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"Fuck!" You cry out, the only full word able to slip past your lips for at least the last hour, mind empty and unable to speak as you lie with your body and face pressed into the mattress, hips held up by two very strong hands as their cock thrusts deep inside you from behind. Their names had been lost long ago as had your ability to distinguish between them as they fuck into you one after the other, over and over.
It's been hours, your legs cramping, vision blurry with unshed tears and your pussy drenched in both your cum and theirs. There's so much, so many loads that your pussy can't possibly hold another drop, filled completely to the brim as it starts to freely drip down your legs, your own arousal mixing with their cum to create a pool between your hips where it's dripped and soaked the bedsheets.
"Fuck that's it princess, so fucking good for us," the voice behind you says as his fingers grip into your hips, undoubtedly leaving finger prints shaped bruises in their wake. He lazily fucks up into you, watching as his cock slips in and out of you, your drenched and abused hole still readily accepting him, pulling him in. He gives a few different thrusts, watching as your ass jiggles for him with each amount of force, a sharp gasp escaping you when he hits that one special spot inside you.
The noise is obscene, the squelch as he pulls out, your overfilled pussy dripping around his cock as he tries to fill you again. You've lost count of how many times they've cum inside you, how many times your cunt has clenched around them as they play you like an instrument, a fuck toy.
"That's it sweetheart, fuck you're doing so good," he says slightly breathless, thrusts increasing as he approached his climax again.
"You want another load princess? Think this will be the one? Going to look so fucking pretty all knocked up. Everyone will know exactly who you belong to, know you fucks you just right.”
The other brother steps in front of you then, semi-hard cock directly in line with your face as he renders reaches for your chin. You don't wait for instruction, already knowing what he wants as you open your mouth ready for him.
"That's it Angel, get me hard for you again."
You want to moan at his praise but you can't, your throat scratchy and voice weak after the screams they'd ripped out of you earlier in the night. His cock tastes of you, of your cum and his mixed together as you eagerly lap it up, sucking as good as you can as his twin pounds you from behind. His cock hardens against your tongue as you eagerly suck, taking him as deep as you can as he moans and groans above you.
"Fuck princess, gonna fill you up again, gonna knock you up, oh you'll look so fucking beautiful all round and swollen with us." His hips snap against yours with a newly renewed vigour as you fight not to choke on the cock gliding past your lips. George, you think it's George, pulls out of your mouth just in time for Fred to slam his hips into you one last time, holding you tightly to him as his cock twitches and spurts inside you. You cry out, completely overstimulated as your increasingly sore pussy accepts his load, his cock so deep and pressed against your cervix tightly that you can't keep still, the sensation too overwhelming, verging on painful. He's so big, you're so full.
When he pulls out you can't help but whine, feeling the loss of his cock and a flood of cum escaping your little hole as George quickly swaps places with his twin, immediately reaching up with two fingers to fuck the cum back into you, not letting any slip out.
"That's it Angel keep it all in for us, need you to keep this if you want us to give you a baby."
"Think you can take me one last time?" He asks, absently fucking you with his fingers. You can almost hear the smirk in his voice, the pleasure he's taking from watching you whine and moan, fucked out and rendered dumb.
"Can't," you manage to say, already overstimulated and unable to take anymore. When his hand slips over your bum cheek and underneath you, tentatively reaching out to glide his middle finger through your drenched folds until he makes contact with your swollen nub, you cry out desperately, hips falling onto the bed in exhaustion.
"One more sweet girl, give us one more," he says, circling your numb with perfect precision, the exact right amount of pressure and on the spot that makes your eyes roll back in your head. It's verging on painful, body overused and over fucked but it still feels so good, so fucking good.
"Gonna let me in Angel? Let your man give you what you need? Hmm?" He says, using his other hand to grab for your waist as he slips over you, knowing you can't hold yourself up anymore. You nod, face stuffed into the pillow to muffle your cries but he suddenly pulls his hand away, ghosting it over the red flesh of your bum cheek.
"Need to hear it Angel, you want your man to knock you up? Want me to breed you?"
"Please, please!" With the last bit of energy you had, you cry out desperately, trying everything to roll your hips back so that the thick head of his cock that is pressed dangerously close to your opening can slip in.
He pushes in finally and you bite down onto the pillow, pushing through the walls of exhaustion and overstimulation as he begins fucking you roughly. His hand slips underneath you to toy with your little swollen nub and in no time at all your soaring towards your orgasm, walls clenching around him. You need him to cum, to cum with you.
"Fuck that's it! Cum for me Angel, cum for me whilst I fill you up.”
You shatter the moment your orgasm crests, unable to cry out, unable to speak. You’re past the point or exhaustion and overstimulation but somewhere in the back of your mind you register George cumming one last time. You’ve been so thoroughly fucked that your mind is entirely blank, only visions of them cumming in you over and over again repeating in your mind.
“Think it’ll be twins?” George says, flopping onto the bed beside you as he slowly catches his breath, stroking your hair as his twin joins you on the, frankly destroyed, bed. You can’t even lift your head to look at them, nor mutter a reply.
“Reckon it will be a whole quidditch team with how much cum she’s got in her,” Fred says, reaching out to draw soothing lines up and down your spine as your eyes close, the exhaustion finally overtaking you.
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Author's note: This is birth and medical fiction. It's all fake, just a fantasy. Of course I don't want this to happen to me or anyone in real life.
I'd like to have a high risk twin pregnancy. The type where I have to fight my obstetrician to let me try to give birth vaginally and then they try to insist I have an epidural so they can cut into me without delay if something goes wrong. I'll finally get them to agree to let me try it natural if I am invasively monitored throughout and I understand I'm going under general anesthesia the second things go south.
When the day comes for me to be induced, I change into a hospital gown & follow nurses instructions as they put IV ports in both of my wrists. I'm catheterized -- a situation that isn't made any more pleasant by the twinges already squeezing my middle -- and by the time I'm being strapped into the stirrups for the doctor to swipe my membranes, I'm so trussed up I can barely move.
It's my first pregnancy & I didn't expect it to hurt so much just to be pregnant. My hips have been sore practically the whole nine months, in part because of how heavy and low I am carrying the twins. Baby A practically lodged himself between my hips last week and the pressure has been slowly increasing. My breasts are cumbersome and it's painful to even feel the hospital gown brush against my areolas. By the time the doctor is settling between my legs to start my labor, I'm eager to face whatever delivery holds for me to make this pregnancy end.
I'm singing a whole different tune 16 hours later. Or rather, screaming one at the top of my lungs. I am in the throes of transition and suffering the pinnacle of a truly agonizing labor. Baby A is posterior and the pain in my back has me at the edge of my sanity, especially now that the contractions are lasting for 90 seconds, with barely a minute in between.
I'm incoherent at this point. I'm in so much pain I'm only able to think about surviving the second I am living. I'm minimally aware when the nurses move my aching body back into the stirrups so I can push my son into the world. I bear down at their direction and it feels like my ass is gonna bust when his head plunges down.
What actually happens is his precious posterior facial features lodge against my clit as a desperate push shoves him just past crowning and my poor little nub starts to sting. It feels like it's being ripped off and I'm humiliated to find I'm begging my doctor to save my clitoris while I'm straining a massive baby out of me.
I don't know how long I howl a about the pain in my clitoris but the next thing I know the doctor is roughly pulling the shoulders and then the body out of my hole, tearing me more in the process.
I'm aware that my aching canal is empty for the moment. I don't realize I am gaped so badly my asshole is almost inverted. It stings something fierce as birth fluids continue to pour out of my loose, sopping cunt. I start to cry when I realize I am still going to have to push Baby B through my ruined pussy.
I drift in and out of consciousness, occasionally aware of the sharp stab of a contraction. I wake fully to a nurse tapping my cheek to see if I've passed out. When I force my eyes open, she informs me Baby B isn't face down anymore and the doctor is about to perform an internal version. She tells me to brace myself because it will be uncomfortable.
I didn't fully realize the medical actuality of an internal version was for a grown man to stick his entire grown man hand through my cervix and into my uterus. I'm in such utter agony I barely register that the nurses are holding me down by my arms and where my thighs are not strapped to the stirrups. I am experiencing the most pain I have experienced up to this point in my life and it seems to last forever.
I never stop screaming, even when they put a mask pumping gas over my face to try to give me some relief, but the tenor of my yell changes when something shifts and then I feel something rip deep inside of me.
Suddenly all the pain that has come before pales in comparison to what I am suddenly feeling in my abdomen. It is indescribable burning combined with a sudden sense of dread that takes over my body. I am 100% certain that my reproductive organs just gave way with my daughter trapped inside me and I am going to die if something isn't done very, very soon.
It must only be minutes, maybe not even that long, that I lay there while the medical team catches up to the realization that me and my baby are in mortal danger. Time slows down and I feel the rip in my uterus expanding as the contractions, one on top of another now, injure me more by the second. Despite no medical knowledge, I know instinctively that the renewed flood out of my pussy is blood and I am hemorrhaging, possibly to death.
I am utterly helpless now. Strapped down in stirrups, paralyzed by pain, my strength seeping from me as fast as the blood flowing between my legs. I faintly register the monitors start to alarm as I lose the battle with consciousness and my world goes dark.
*******
I wake up groggy and disoriented on a stretcher being wheeled somewhere. I immediately start to panic because there is a tube down my throat and I am really, brutally aware of a long, deep vertical incision that extends from above my belly button down to my public bone. I swear I can feel the layers upon layers they sliced through to deliver my baby. I won't know until later about the battle the surgeons waged, first to save my life and then to save my fertility.
Right now I am only aware of how much it hurts to be jostled on a stretcher with a massive cut down my middle. When the two male nurses move me into the bed, I plead for unconsciousness as my body is roughly transferred to a bed. My tailbone hits the mattress and reverberates in the form of a sharp pain through my pussy. I've still got a catheter and I feel like every inch down there has been stitched up.
I hope one of these nurses will realize I am aware and therefore in indescribable pain but it seems like the paralytic they gave me before intubating me is the only drug of the cocktail still in effect. I suffer as they lift my hips and put a pillow under my butt. Then they start taking off my hospital gown completely.
My confusion quickly turns to fear as one gloved hand on each side grabs one of my fat titties and starts tugging. Breast pumps are whipped out and the men make quick work of shoving as much of my massive milkers in to each before turning them on simultaneously.
My uterus, even after the brutal surgical repair, still tries to respond to my milk suddenly dropping. The pain of contracting after uterine repair and a cesarean combined with the sudden gush of warm pressure on my aching tits brings tears to my eyes. I must be a strange sight: intubated and naked, massive breasts attached to pumps, with my deflated belly sporting a huge incision hanging above a pussy so bruised and stitched it looks entirely purple.
The elder nurse pats my naked thigh just before he makes to leave. It jostles everything and our eyes meet as I wince at the pain it causes me. A chill runs through my body as I realize he knows I am awake and feeling way more than I should be.
He looks at me the entire time he lubes his gloved fist, a sinister smile on his face. He settles between my legs and pauses to look up at me again.
"I bet you wish you'd had that epidural, huh, dear?"
My vision goes white as I feel his whole fist plunge into my pussy with a force absolutely intended to cause me a fatal amount of pain. My vision goes white and I feel pressure building in my chest as the stitches holding my cervix together start ripping. The last thought I have before I go into cardiac arrest is how I don't want to my last memory to be of being brutally fisted in my obliterated, post-birth pussy while my heart explodes in my chest.
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sleekista · 2 months
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but i didn't did pour the whiskey
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barça femeni x reader
overview: they said getting over addiction wasn't easy, what about when no one knows? what about when relapse happens after a whole year?
A/N: my requests are sitting... but I can't get to them and im really sorry, ive been so busy atm and dont got much modivation for em'
TW: alcohol addiction, self-hatred, relapse, course language, actual detail instead of me brushing over it
!! viewer discretion is advised, i suggest only mature audiences read this !!
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In all honesty, you'd seen the signs. You'd known the inevitable was coming. The feelings of urge that you'd felt a year ago when trying to stop. You had stopped though, so you ignored it. Then it became more real. To the blank stares at the crates in the stores, rather than the hatred you harboured before after finally being ‘better’.
To walking and judging if you should buy it or not.
To blinking tears out of your eyes, wondering why you'd think that in the first place.
Because why would you, you were better now. Right? That's what you'd told yourself anyways.
It kept amplifying over the course of a week. Until you couldn't take it, until everything you'd worked so hard for for the past year came crashing down. All those memories of countless nights pacing, crying, yelling over a stupid fucking substance fade away.
Guilt. That's all there is. Guilt.
Guilt for betraying your past self who had cried for hours, who felt like she was going psycho over not having a single drink.
But, you can't find it in yourself to stop drinking it. It's just one beer, how harmful could it be? Said by the words of a true fucking alcoholic.
So, you do the only thing you can think of and cry. Cry until your face is numb, your throat burning with every breath, cry until your lungs can't take in any oxygen anymore.
Cry until you feel like you've felt something.
Then when you did stop crying what did you do? The only option you thought you had. Drink more.
- - - - -
You knew you looked like shit, you felt like it too. Your face puffy from the numerous breakdowns the night before, your eyes red from the tears that had an endless flow, dark rings under your eyes from the restless 3 hour sleep you'd got.
Also not to mention the headache you'd acquired. Knowing that only last year if you'd drunk this much, you'd only start to feel something. That's not something to be proud of.
You try your hardest to make yourself look even the slightest bit presentable, getting rid of the puffy face with a shower and taking paracetamol to take away the ache in your skull.
This would do enough to convince them you were fine, it's not like you were the loudest or most obnoxious person on the team. Preferring to observe everything with a smile.
What you didn't consider? Your captains. You're only 22 so even if you're techincally an adult, they're still over 7 years older than you.
So you walk into the lockeroom for training, silently making your way to your cubby as usual. Until, you feel a tug on your sleeve. Alexia is standing there, worry etched into her features.
"You ok? It looks like you've barely slept." Her voice is low and quiet, something you were eternally grateful for.
"Yeah, just a rough night. Thanks capi." You don't lie, but you don't tell the full truth either. She can sense this but doesn't say anymore, allowing you to go back to getting ready.
You take the time to rethink of the previous night, the regret you'd felt immediately after taking the first sip. But, the feeling of being unable to stop.
No matter how much you'd told yourself it was nothing, you know this isn't the end.
You push the thoughts away, clearing your mind of any thoughts before walking out onto the field ready for training.
- - - - -
It was the same people you saw watching you; Alexia, Marta and Mapi. It wasn't every second but enough to showcase they knew something was wrong but just didn't know what.
You had joined in the summer from your old club in Italy. No one knew of the past you'd had with alcohol. It's not like you made an effort to tell them either, they respected your choices not to drink when going out and you didn't need to bring up topics that were from before even moving to Barcelona.
Maybe if they knew, you'd have someone to confide it.
Somehow you'd managed to hide it from your old team as well, but considering the close relationships that Barcelona had with each other you doubted it would be shrugged off as easily.
When training was finally over, you were quick to slip away. As the thoughts and need of what caused you in this melancholic state start to reappear in your mind.
Not now, why after so long did you have to collapse now? When the peak of your career could potentially be around the corner.
You want to survive like a normal person, you want to be able to do things without relying on a fucked up liquid. Why did it have to be you?
And why?
Why is the only thing you can think of to soothe these thoughts, alcohol?
- - - - -
You stare blankly at the open carton, hesitation as you ponder if you should give in or not. Should you drink it? Part of your mind says yes, part of you yearns for it. The rational side says no, and to stop before it's too late.
But wasn't it already?
So you give in. The burning down your throat a painfully familar comfortality.
In a depressing way it makes you more aware of your surroundings, the beer bottles scattered in the room. Liquid all over the floor and on your things. It bothers you, but you can't bring yourself to clean it.
So you sulk, going over past memories. You'd never considered yourself a sad drunk, always being happier and finding a way to goof about while drinking. Then, very rarely toward the end of recovery getting angry. Never sad though.
Times change, people change. You thought you'd changed, but that kind of addiction? It never seemed to leave. Waiting until you're vulnerable to attack. Like an incurable disease.
Before you really comprehend it, the whole box of beers you'd bought yesterday are empty and strown across the floor.
You reach a point of feeling nothing, a numbing feeling brought by guilt, the alcohol making everything seem hazy. Your phone is ringing, but you can't bring yourself to answer. You can't bring yourself to care.
- - - - -
Knocking at your door brings you out of the limboed state you're in. You figure they'll leave soon, and the knocking stops after a minute. Until the door opens revealing the three who had been watching you in the morning.
Alexia is the first to you, the others take in the state of your apartment and walk around elsewhere.
"Hey." It's all she says, but enough for tears to fall from your eyes. You can't bare to look at her face, so you keep your eyes glued to the floor.
"Come on, look at me." She uses her hands to guide your chin so you're looking straight at her.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me." She pauses, "Let's sober you up first." You don't argue, and follow her orders. Exhausted, you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow.
- - - - -
Waking up was easier than you'd thought it would be, your head not pounding as much as in the morning. It made sense though considering you'd drank less than the night before. There were pills on the side table with a glass of water which you take easily.
The sun is setting so you must have slept for a couple of hours by this point. When you walk into the living room you notice all the rubbish gone, the floors are clean and there's no reminisince of beer anywhere. Alexia, Marta and Mapi are talking quietly amongst themselves and look up once they realise you're awake.
"Come, sit." Mapi pats next to her. You nod silently walking over.
"Would you mind explaining to us what happened? I know you’ve said before don't drink, so this is very new. If you don't want to talk that's also fine but I don't want to see you hurt." Alexia says, she doesn't pry but she does make her point known.
"Ok, but please can you do no talking while I explain? I'm not sure how much I can take if I don't explain it all in one." You're not sure why you opened up so easily, maybe because you desperately craved for someone. Anyone.
"Last year, I was an alcoholic and I can't tell you really when it started. It was to take all the weight and pressure off my shoulders originally, but it turned worse. I just kept drinking regularly and when I tried to settledown, I realised I couldn't. So I didn't stop. It worked for me."
"Then as the season moved on I realised I did desperately need to do something about it but I was just so scared of what people would say to me. How would they react?"
“So instead of getting proper help I did it myself.”
"I got rid of all traces, didn't go out as much. It was horrible. I thought I was going crazy. I wasn't ok at all. I'd obviously relapsed a couple times when trying by myself to recover but it gave me more determination. I'd say it took like 3 months before I truly felt like I was clean."
"Then, I'd had the oppurtunity to play here and it's like everything went away. I should've known better." You sigh.
"Known what? Did you know you were going to relapse again?" Marta asks carefully.
"I saw the signs but ignored them, when I did give in... all I felt was regret, I still do. I think that's why I drank the rest if I'm going to be honest." You look away, not daring to look at any of them.
A pair of arms engulf you, large hands pushing your head to the persons chest.
"Listen to me, we can help you. You won't ever have to do this alone, not while I'm here ok? I don't know much about this, but I'll try. We all will." You start sobbing into her chest, clinging your fists tightly into her shirt. A way to thank them without words.
Because the belief they had in you made you feel like you could do it. Even in these drowning times.
—————————————————————————
i hope you enjoyed fic, this may not be accurate to everyone but this is my experience with battling addiction to alcohol and i write it because i too relapsed after a year recently
this was more for also for awareness and just know that you aren’t alone in anything, if you feel you need someone to talk to i’m always here :)
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allisonlol · 2 years
Note
BSD MEN WHEN YOU HUG YOUR PLUSHIE/PILLOW INSTEAD OF THEM AHHHH IVE BEEN THINKING OF YHIS SINCE FIREVER
a/n: BRO this is so cute?? picked some of my favorite boys for it. ALSO have y'all seen the season 4 trailer?? literally still shaking from it, i am so so happy :D !! jumped around my room screaming cuz i'm a bit unhinged for it
but what i'm NOT so happy about is my ipad completely breaking out of nowhere?? (chuuya's beautifulness in the trailer broke it) so im writing this with my laptop?? sad but at least i can type faster >:)
warnings: NONE just absolute fluff
(Chuuya, Ranpo, Nikolai, Jouno) When You Hug Your Plushie Instead of Them
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Chuuya
so chuuya had recently bought you a plushie that you'd been fawning over cuz it was the cutest thing ever (after him, ofc)
litte did he know that it would soon replace him-
that night, chuuya smiled at you when he noticed you hugging the plushie while scrolling on your phone before bed
but he quickly got fed up when he realized you just?? weren't going to cuddle with him too??
regrets buying you that thing REAL quick
nudges your arm and tries to get your attention but you just shoot him a smile and go back to your phone
chuuya's patience meter is miniscule so now he's pissed off (at the plushie tho?? not at you)
does that thing where he'll just sit there and keep sighing dramatically until you ask what's wrong smh
once you do, he's like "NOTHING'S WRONG" but avoids looking you in the eye and instead looks past you or down at the sheets?? and that's when you know he's upset 🤕
you move the plushie aside and open your arms to hug him instead
ngl you knew he wanted to cuddle but thought it would be funny to tease him... APOLOGIZE RN
bro glares at you?? he's trying to give you the cold shoulder but fails and smiles softly cuz you look so cute
grabs you and has a vice grip on you the rest of the night- also probably kicks the plushie to the floor when ur not looking
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Ranpo
ranpo is a cuddle bug who wants ALL of your attention on him
so it's safe to say he's not very happy that u have found...something else to hug
ranpo had arrived home late due to detective work, so you'd already fallen asleep while waiting for him
except you struggle to sleep now without hugging something (since you're so used to doing that with him). so you simply grabbed one of ur plushies to hold instead
literally shakes you awake so frantically you think there's an emergency
you're all like "what's going on!! :0" & then bro makes it sound like ur cheating on him??
"i can't believe you would abandon me for...for THAT thing!!!!" points his finger at you all accusingly and everything
snatches the plushie from you and throws it across the room >:0
will then proceed to plop down next to you and just. not speak 😐😐
^ignores your protests as you get up to grab the plushie and gives you the nastiest side eye?? childish i stg
you sigh and prop the plushie at the end of the bed so you can crawl up next to ranpo and wrap your arms around him
he finally stops pouting and melts into ur touch 😽
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AAAA I CAN FINALLY USE GIFS FOR THEM
Nikolai
worse than ranpo. like significantly
you'd gone to take a nap and had instinctively fallen asleep hugging ur favorite plushie
nikolai was doing who knows what but ended up entering the room about an hour later
stops dead in his tracks when he sees you...hugging...something ELSE?!
doesn't wake you at first. sneaks over to peer over ur shoulder at what you're holding
partially relieved to see it's just a plushie, but also partially mad because um?? why wasn't it him??
doesn't even bother waking you. just straight up yanks it out of your grasp 💀
you wake up in a panic with this mf LOOMING over you
probably rips it's head off???? or at least threatens to
pls you're lowkey about to cry cuz that's your comfort plushie 😥😥
you literally gotta scramble out of bed and beg him not to destroy it
does the thing where he holds it over ur head but dangles it just out of reach. and this mf is tall asf so good luck with that -.-
you end up just grabbing his arm and pulling his dumbass back to the bed to cuddle him instead
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Jouno
ok ngl you did this on purpose to piss him off
i don't blame you cuz it be funny when he's ticked off
you and jouno had been preparing for bed when u decided to play a lil prank on him
it was mostly just to see if he'd even have a reaction?? cuz we all know this man either doesn't give a fuck or he goes off the rails
you'd gotten into bed first and while waiting for him, snatched the plushie you keep on your side and snuggled up next to it
u close ur eyes when you hear him walking into the room and pretend to be falling asleep
his footsteps stop by the bed and he just stands there like 😑???? cuz he can tell by your heartbeat that you're still awake, yet he's wondering why you haven't acknowledged his presence??
so i mean right off the bat this mf knows something's up
gets in bed next to you but goes OUT OF HIS WAY to make sure y'all are not touching in any way petty asf
can tell by the way you're positioned that you're hugging something else close to you
you peek open ur eyes to shoot him a glance but he has the most unreadable expression i stg
internally he is like WHY NOT ME WHY NOT ME but no one else would be able to tell~
by now he's figured out that ur messing with him and does NOT take it lightly. literally sleeps with his back to you and won't acknowledge you until morning
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taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @scul-pted @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @sonder-paradise @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @irethepotato @serenareiss
4K notes · View notes
Note
hii
ive been a reader of yours ever since you posted your february filth fest and i have been craving for a continuation of day fifteen: should i? yungi cause i want a dom! yunho x sub! mingi x sub! reader so bad??? it's okay it you don't want to or can't!
all your works are beautiful, so beautiful 🤧 im gatekeeping it 🤧🤧❤️👏
Should I? - Pt 2
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a/n: thank you so much 😭 messages like this help get me through rough days and i appreciate that my works are so well received so far:( i hope you enjoy!
Jeong Yunho x fem reader x Song Mingi
"Calm your brat ass down and then we can fuck our girlfriend."
✫彡wordcount: 2.8k
(>ᴗ•) genre: smut w/o plot
ಠ_ಠwarning/content: picks up where it left off, poly relationship, threesome, cam/streaming AU, unprotected (boo🗣️), toys, hard daddy dom yunho/sub mingi/sub reader, orgasm control, degradation/name calling, overstim, bj, light dacryphilia, scratching, slapping&spanking, sprinkles of size kink, begging, feral mingi (WRAGAGAGA), dp, cream pie, rough, drooling, praise, soooo much dirty talk im sorry, churning butter, i went way overboard yall the yungi brain rot is getting to me, i skimmed over but didn't really edit
MATURE UNDER CUT MDNI
It's been far too long in this same position for your own sanity.
    Straddled over Yunhos lap with him pounding your insides, giving the digital audience a good view of how your body reacts to his touch as he pulls your hips up and shows the camera how creamy you've made him before slamming them back down on his. Mingi holding your hands and pulling your chest flush to Yunhos as he whispers how bad he wants to be the one up in your guts or the one getting his rearranged by your boyfriend, just loud enough for the mic to pick it up over the lewd noises that your cunt makes.
    The wet squelching makes it all the harder for you to hold back as Yunho tells you not to cum.
     "Be a good Baby and let Daddy cum first," is his exact words as he feels your gummy walls hugging him tighter all of the sudden. Mingi whimpers in tandem with you, if you can't cum than neither can he. And he knows how defiant you are, you could be here all night fighting not to cum before Yunho.
Mingi lets loose your hands and they immediately wrap up in his hair, bringing him over his shoulder to kiss him. You kneel up higher to make sure his face isn't in frame, so Yunho has to lift his hips with more force to keep knocking into your g-spot, his own face hidden in your chest and nipping at the pebbled flesh there.
"Daddy p-"
"No." His simple denial makes you tug at Mingis hair, a loud moan slipping past his lips as he grinds up on Yunhos back. "I don't care how good it feels, you best not cum until I tell you to."
"Fuck, Daddy, please, she deserves it, look at how good she's taking you, you're so big and she's swallowing you whole," he begs for you, nearly drooling on your head as he holds it close to his neck, watching on the screen as Yunho holds himself up on his hands and pumps into you ruthlessly. "Oh fuck, Yu- Daddy, she's so wet, she wants to cum so bad," he nearly slips up as his own brain short circuits, humping his back and clawing at yours.
      He feels your pain, he has empathy as you cry into his neck, "p-please!" Yunho likes to test you both every so often and see just how long you can hold back without releasing until he says so. But he never says so. He goes and goes and fucks and fucks and fucks until you're forced to cum even without permission, taking a sadistic joy in punishing you for inevitably cumming. It doesn't matter if you held out for one hour or five, he still humiliates you for cumming before he does: especially since you've began streaming. It makes his heart and cock soar to the heavens to make his Babies beg for his forgiveness infront of a live audience, asserting his dominance and near ownership of you both.
"Did I stutter? Do as you're told, Princess," he growls into your chest, a smirk growing on his lips as another whimper sounds from the both of you, "and Min?"
"Yes, Daddy?" He responds eagerly, hands sliding from your back to his stomach, sandwiched between your sweaty bodies as they move in a burning lust.
"Stop humping me and go get our Princess' toy," the mention of it has you writhing, pushing on his shoulders and begging to just cum already.
A blush on his cheeks at the fact that the entire 1,036 viewers now know he was grinding on Yunhos back, he slides off the bed and to the dresser on the other side of the room.
A bright pink rabbit vibrator in his hands, he stands just out of frame as Yunho gets a grip on your hips and pulls you off of him with a pop. "Please, please- just let me cum on your cock, I've been so good!" Your pleading doesn't get you any sympathy from your Daddy, and only gets more pings sounding from the laptop.
He flips you off of him, crawling over you and up your body until his wet cock sits on your cheek. The audience can just see your jaw, lips trembling as you open them to speak. "Can I suck?"
They see Mingi crawl between your legs, keeping his head between your thighs to stay hidden from the side view they have. Yunho grabbing the base of his thick member and tapping the leaking tip on your flushed face. Your fingers gripping the sheets as a vibrating sound starts.
"Daddy, n-no, please don't make him, I want to cum so bad, I won't be able to hold back!" His free hand comes down and cups your jaw gently, sliding his thumb into your begging mouth.
"Go ahead, Min."
Your whine of protest dies down when he slips his tip into your mouth, letting you suck at your own pace as he strokes your cheek. It's almost therapeutic, sucking at him like he's the sweetest lollipop on Earth.
And then your own pleasure returns, making your eyes roll back as Mingi presses the head of the vibrating toy into your gaping cunt. The moans you let out around him makes him grip the headboard, pressing his hips down and making you take more. "Be good, Baby. Don't cum, just take it."
    "Mmhmp," the muffled response makes him chuckle deeply, looking over his shoulder at his other baby- who's in a trance watching your cunt swallow the silicone up greedily and clenching when the extension presses onto your clit.
     "Minnie." His head snaps up just as he's going to pull the toy out and start fucking you on it, his hand slipping and pressing it deep into you as he makes eye contact with Yunhos dark gaze.
     "Daddy?"
  "If you make her cum we can fuck however you like, yeah?" It's just a small thing, really. Mingi knows he'll be able to cum his brains out before the session is over- but to do it in his favorite way? His favorite position? He has to grind down on the bed to relieve the throbbing of his member at the very thought.
"I- fuck, really Daddy?" His hands get back to work before he even gets a reply, fucking the toy into you with a new vigor at the promise of his favorite position.
The way you moan and gag around him makes it hard for Yunho to respond -this being his favorite position- but he gives him a simple "Yes, Baby."
     When he turns back to you, looking down at you as he fucks your mouth, your suspicion that he said that just to make you cum without his permission is etched into stone. He smirks as you begin moaning uncontrollably, the smooth silicone and the way Mingi works it in and out of you and the intense vibration on your begging insides and clit makes it all too hard to hold back- but you do. You look up at him defiantly, as mean as you can as you're gagging on his girth.
    "Awwe~" he coos, slapping your cheek lightly, "you keep acting like a brat and I'll take you over my lap right now, I don't care how many people are watching." He pulls his member from your mouth and sits on your chest, nowhere near his full weight but it makes your head fuzzy all the same. The next slap is a tad harder, "you dirty slut, bet you like having an audience, hmm? Like people seeing how good your boyfriends fuck you?"
     "Daddy!" You call out as you pant, slapping his thighs, "please, please! N- cum!" Your moans make Mingi grind down on the bed harder. He's making you feel so good, he can tell. He's watching so close as you leak around the toy and the way your stomach rises and falls quickly as you try and hold back. He holds the extension it off of your clit and replaces it with his warm tongue, a content groan bubbling up his throat that makes you cum on the spot. "Fuck, fuck, Minnie st-ah!"
You squirt on his face in front of all 1,604 viewers, nails digging into Yunhos thighs as your peak hits you, the toy incessantly vibrating against your swollen walls as Mingi laps at your clit like a man starved and Yunhos fat cock leaks against the column of your breast, his weight keeping you still as you writhe. Mingi's big hands grip your hips, making out with your clit as you continue to unravel, the clenching and wetness of your heat making the toy slide out.
He takes advantage of that and latches onto your abused sex, suckling and licking and nibbling everywhere as you come down. "M-minnie, stop it," your voice is small and wavering as overstimulation settles in, but he doesn't care as he swallows up all of your juices eagerly. "Daddy, s'too much, make him stop!" He sits up and off the bed immediately as you tap his thighs, grabbing the back of Mingi's neck and pulling him away, his tongue still lapping even as he yanked away.
     "What a good boy, you were so good you made her cum," his praise goes straight to his neglected length, making him twitch as he leans into his hold, uncaring as he looks like a scolded kitten in the eyes of the viewers. The way your juices flow down his chin and neck, sliding down his heaving, toned chest as he's held back from devouring you makes the chat explode with activity.
      "Fuck now Daddy," he moans breathlessly as he licks his lips clean, "me in her, you in her. Need it." His short, feral words make the both of you realize what he means. It's his all time favorite place to be. In all the places he traveled, his favorite is pressed close to the two of his most prized loved ones in the most intimate way he can think of, in the safety of his home.
    Even before you began streaming some of your sex life, it made him cum immediately every time and his libido through the roof as he begged and begged to stay there and keep fucking just like that for hours on end until his balls were aching and even then some.
Yunho wordless climbs back into bed behind Mingi, pushing him forward as he caresses his hips. A single kiss on his neck has him reeling, falling over you just how the stream had started-
His large frame covering yours, arms wrapped around your head as his cock slips in with the guidance of Yunhos warm hand.
"Slow Baby, you licked our Princess' brain out," he chuckles as he slides his hands over his hips and to your thighs, holding them apart as Mingi begins thrusting in a wild manner- opposite of Yunhos instructions. "Isn't he so big, Babygirl?"
     A simple broken curse is his response, "f-uck!"
    "N'cum, Daddy," Mingi pants, clawing at your head as he fucks as deep as humanly possible, banging against your cervix and nearly painting your womb as Yunho licks the shell of his ear.
    "Stop." It's as if the world stops when Yunho speaks, all movements paused as he uses his authoritative tone. The slapping of skin stops, replaced with both of your heavy breathing and your whimpers.
Mingi growls into your ear, insides burning as he forces his pleasure to a halt, glaring back at Yunho. "Daddy," he bellows, "I need to fuck her."
"You can wait."
"N-"
"Lay back." Despite the clear tension in his body, Mingi rolls off of you and begins fisting himself while your juices are still warm. "Don't cum."
"I want to cum inside of my girlfriend," he snaps back, holding himself back from tackling Yunho as he lifts you away from his side like a rag doll. He knows he's not the one in control, but his instincts are telling him above all else to simply fuck your brains out and then let Yunho do the same to him.
"Ah," Yunhos dark chuckle is so rough compared to how he turns you around to face Mingi and rests your back on his chest, treating you like a porcelain statue as he kneads your breasts in his hands, engulfing them completely, "your girlfriend? Baby-"
"Yes, I want to fucking fill her up."
"Minnie!" You gasp scandalized, like you didn't just squirt on his face for an audience.
"I want my cum dripping out for days, need-"
"Baby!" Yunho yells lowly, shutting him up. "Deep breaths, calm your brat ass down and then we can fuck our girlfriend."
"M'sorry, Daddy." No he's not. He's only speaking his mind- no matter how feral that mind is at the moment. "Want to fuc-"
    "I don't care what whores want." He growls, clearly spotting that his sub-space is slipping away with how badly he just wants to have cum every where. "You were doing so good, Babyboy. You made our little Princess cum, you fucked her for so long earlier- tsk. And here I was thinking I would reward you." He drags his hands all over your body as he speaks, drowning in the both of your fucked out presences so deeply that he forgets you're streaming. "My sweet boy was replaced by a cum whore."
Mingi whimpers loudly, thrown back into the submissive deep end as Yunho makes you crawl over his hips, guiding you down back onto his cock. "Do you want our Minnie-ah to fill you up first before Daddy joins?"
     "Fuck, Princess, please! Please let me!" Mingi grabs at your body roughly, eyes watery as he looks up beggingly.
      "Yea-"
    Yunho slams your hips together, a scream of pleasure ripping through both of you as his fat tip knocks into your deepest insides. "Ah ah, Ming-" One of his hands leaves your hips and cups your mouth quickly, leaving Mingi to his own devices to make himself cum inside of you.
      "Careful, Babygirl," he coos darkly as he holds you in place for Mingis wild and uncoordinated thrusts, muffling all of your moans as your brain goes dumb and makes you yell out their names. "Such a pretty pair," he moans as he watches his hips bang into yours intently, "good fucking sluts for Daddy, hm?"
You can only respond with moaning and drooling into his hand, but Mingi yells out all of your thoughts. "Fuck, shit, yes! Yes, we're good sluts, we're your good sluts, Daddy's good fuck toys!"
All 4,264 viewers watch as he fucks into you harshly one last time, listening as you squeal out muffledly.
A single moment passes before Yunhos cock is prodding at your stretched hole, fucking into you and joining Mingi with a loud grunt. He grabs your hips roughly once again, fucking into your spent cunt with ease.
"P-please, mercy," you call out as you fold onto Mingi, wetness dripping out of you and soaking everything near.
It feels too good, so good. Mingis warm cum lubing up your insides for the intense stretch of the two goliaths you call your boyfriends. Mingi settled against your g-spot as Yunho tries to fuck his way into your guts. Both of their moans and pants and groans, Mingis feral growling as he wraps his big arms around your waist. "No mercy," his voice barely reaches into your fuzzy head.
"Minnie is right, Princess," he speaks with a slap to your behind, "no mercy."
And there was none, they fucked into you until you were a drooling, begging, sopping wet mess. Both of their cum continual mixed into you with their untamed thrusts. Your clit buzzing and ass sore from your Daddy's punishment. Your back covered in scratches from how long gone Mingi was. The laptop was no doubt overheating as it streamed nonstop for over three hours, viewer count now in the hundred thousands and pinging like crazy with donations, even as the three of you slump onto each other tiredly with the last of your brains calling out to one another.
"My Babies," Yunho speaks softly as he massages your red behind tenderly, watching with a fucked out smile as you nibble at Mingis neck lovingly.
"Daddy," the two of you chime together, clinged to each other for dear life as Yunhos thick member moves a fraction of an inch. "Noooo, stay," Mingi whimpers softly, pressing his cock closer to his in the mess of your cunt.
"I'll be back in just a moment, Sweet Boy, take care of our Princess," he leans and kisses both of your heads as he pulls out. He never lets the stream run as he clean you up, as he takes care of you both. That's too intimate to share with the world, too special.
His cock drips all of your fluids on the bed as a final, new ding sounds out. One that you've never heard before.
You all tiredly turn and look, eyes going wide at the notification on the screen. Jaws dropped at the amount a stranger had just gifted.
your.captain tipped $450
Let me join next time ;)
-
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manicpixiefelix · 4 months
Text
and other things that happened by the red staircase
{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }
Summary: Like with all events at Saltburn, you take great care to learn all you can about the guests for the upcoming Catton Family Reunion, to make sure you can make a good impression. You and Venetia, however, discover that Felix may be making too good of an impression on his recently un-estranged cousin.
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: felix fingering(/possibly going down on) his cousin but its not super explicit, reader having a social anxiety regarding the social event, venetia being kind of a nasty little perv i love her
A/N: 3841 words. this was meant to just be a little something about venetia and reader teasing felix after finding out he accidentally fingered his cousin, something i could write on my phone before bed. which i did but i didn't stop writing for 4 hours and it became too long for just an answer. also because there's a bunch of catton family lore ive invented and put it all in here.
also before any discourse arises, there's a character briefly mentioned here, Marv, who is an old butch lesbian who uses he/him pronouns. he is not trans, but chooses to use he/him, look into queer history if this bugs you, or go outside and off of my blog. you're reading the writing of an agender it/its lesbian, my blog is not a place for queer discourse, it's a place for being freaks about Jacob Elordi and Barry Keoghan.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
It's been a particularly stressful event for you; so much of Felix's family is in attendance and you're desperate to impress them. It had been called a reunion, but nothing at Saltburn was ever so simple, nor so informal. As always you've prepared ahead of time; Duncan and Elspeth, as they always did, walked you briefly through the guest list, however unlike usual, instead of leaving you alone with the detailed dossier of guests, Elspeth herself had sat with you in one of the numerous studies - the lilac one - and gone through in meticulous detail. The family friends they refer to as cousins, the family they refuse to acknowledge beyond a handshake - and why. All the Catton branches and the gossip that haunts each. Things like how it's the first event in ten years that Sir James' estranged, illegitimate half-sister and her family were invited to. She's laughing, and you act like your nerves aren't on fire, like there isn't bile rising in your throat out of fear of the faux pars you could see on the horizon.
"Oh they're going to love you, darling," she assures. The minute she leaves you start nervous crying over the dossier, which quickly becomes an anxiety attack. It's been a very long time, especially since they'd kindly set up this system to alleviate your known anxieties, that you'd been this afraid of a dinner.
None of them can know.
You're almost eighteen, you're meant to be well past this, meant to have learned to cope with it by now.
On the night of the event, Farleigh's the only one looking as queasy as you feel - the family's pitying looks and grating questions have him going for a smoke break almost every five minutes. Still, Venetia's never without a drink in hand despite her mother's disapproving looks, and Felix is nowhere to be seen. At least at this family affair there's a number of people your own age. Many related, but many not - more friends of the family, or illegitimate offspring. Still, you don't want to put your preparations to waste, want to make a good impression.
There's mean laughter from by the fireplace as you find yourself in conversation with Sir James and his second cousin Barty, praising the man for his recent and lucrative foray into financially supporting broadcast television. James gives you and incredibly surprised and approving look, while Barty lights up with delight, claiming that there was hope for the young after all it seemed. Casting a glance to the fireplace, you see a few mean looking teens all watching you with sneers.
Barty asks how you found yourself here, and James pats you on the back before you can answer, claiming you as one of the wards of Saltburn; a good influence on his dear son, Felix. Pride flares in your chest. But you can still hear the teens call you a freak.
Its taking everything in you to not try and find sanctuary in the company of Felix, Venetia, or Farleigh. Its incredibly tempting, considering the abundance of desperate eye contact you and Farleigh especially are sharing, but you worry that if you don't keep face, don't put your information to use, don't remain visible to everyone in the room who you've convinced yourself are even tangibly related to Felix and his immediate family, every single one of them will hate you.
One day you will reckon with how profoundly your upbringing effected the expectations you place on yourself. Today is not that day. So you smile at Mildred Catton - by marriage, second cousin, young widow and now spinster. Well, she has a girlfriend, judging by the way Elspeth had spoken about her roommate of twenty-five years, and she has a kind and knowing smile as she compliments you - so beautiful, what a handsome young thing you are, oh you do remind me of Marv like this, back when we first met, of that's cute, you'd love him. Marv is short for Marvel Elizabeth, the butch woman who lives with Mildred and runs a bike shop and who you'd spent probably too much time looking at in the dossier, his arm around Mildred in her photo, both of them smiling so wide.
You kind of wish he was here. When you share the sentiment, Mildred looks a little crestfallen; you get the impression that not a lot of the Cattons share your feeling.
Still, talking to Mildred helps ease your nerves considerably. At least until you realise that it's been quite some time since you'd seen Felix.
You don't need him at all times... Don't need to know his whereabouts at every second of every day... But you've found yourself trapped in a conversation with a gaggle of the newer, younger, shinier wives of Felix's various uncles-something-times-removed, and one hadn't been updated in the dossier and you greeted her as the wife she'd replaced. So now you're mortified, like a deer in the headlights as they're all judging you, and you know you're on the verge of panicking or throwing up -
"Need to steal our lovely Y/N for a moment," Venetia, your saviour. She slips an arm in yours and doesn't wait for an answer.
"Venetia, dear -" Christie, owner of a failing fragrance business that she desperately doesn't want people to know is failing, but that her husband had drunkenly, forlornly confessed about to Sir James, barely get two truly disdainful words in before Venetia brightly throws over her shoulder -
"Love your dress, matches your roots, talk later Auntie Chris," and you can only imagine the flustered fury on Christie's face as the other women try not to compare the dark dress to the woman's dark roots peeking through her blonde hair. You, however, are gone speechless in your nauseous panic, and press yourself to Venetia's side as she pulls you through the crowd, "you looked about ready to kill yourself like one of those dishonoured samurai," she says quietly but casually.
"Yeah, that was the rough plan," you managed to joke weakly. Your heart was racing; you hated being like this. It takes you a moment to properly focus back in on the moment, and realise Venetia was dragging you along with considerable purpose, "are you okay?"
"I need your robot brain to help me decide if something's funny or just gross."
"My robot brain?"
"You know everyone here because - and I say this with love - you're a freak about these things-"
"Didn't know Iona," you muttered, once again horrified, gaze going glassy as all you can think about is how you called her Misha. Her husband had a type; models from northern countries and very little sense of humour, it seemed. Venetia snapped her fingers in your face, frowning, keeping your mind from wandering too far.
"They got married a month ago, you probably won't even see her again," she rolled her eyes, taking you by the shoulders, leading you from the main entertaining area towards the main parlous, "but the point is, I know we refer to everyone as Aunt or Uncle or Cousin or whatever, but I'm not even actually at all related to like half of them," Venetia pauses, looking at you very seriously, "but you know the difference, right? Like if I pointed to someone, you'd know how exactly they're here?"
"Uh, yeah, of course," it's who you were, it's what you did, "don't you?"
"Not," she visibly hesitates, gaze shifting to look around the room, "not really," she admits, they're all just, you know, family. There's always been too many to bother with the how or why of any of them, unless mum or dad felt it was important for me and Felix to keep in mind specifically," but after a beat she met your gaze with a wolfish grin, "or if it was particularly scandalous." Okay, you think you're starting to get her intentions.
"So who are you wondering about and why?"
The way Venetia was smiling could not possibly mean anything good.
"So," Venetia took you by the shoulders and steered you through the grand foyer towards the stairs, as if on her way to yours or Felix's room. Her voice had gotten quieter, conspiratorial, "I've been watching this unfold all night," she explains gleefully, "and I did think it was rather bold to be looking to get someone in bed at a family reunion, though I supposed that there is a good chance that they're not even related; as we've discussed, family is a rather loose, fond title for many of them here tonight," she's choosing her words incredibly carefully, skirting around her point for dramatic effect, "and," she stops in the doorway by the red staircase; you think you can hear faint moaning not too far away. Venetia's voice is a whisper, "I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, considering I'm pretty sure I've actually never seen this girl in my life, so I can't say who she belongs to here."
Around the corner there's an attempt at a shushing that sounds more masculine, judging by the whisper of laughter that accompanies it, and a young woman's giggled apology, followed by a breathy gasp, and the faint sound of wood scraping against the marble floor. You and Venetia peer around the corner like the Hardy boys, you ducking down and her leaning over you.
The girl in question is leaning back against the antique, wooden end table at the end of the short hall, head throw back, chest heaving with wanton breathes. Wearing a flowing, green dress that looked almost like silk, but was clearly rayon when you had seen her up close earlier, you knew immediately who she was. More importantly, you were surprised to see someone in a suit on their knees in front of her, beneath her dress.
Alyssa Morelli has seemed absolutely out of her mind with boredom and disdain for this entire affair in the brief few moments you'd spent with her. Like you she was seventeen, and was the eldest daughter of Sir James' estranged half sister. Having barely any information about her, and also trying to focus on not losing your cool regarding that fact, it had made conversation, at least for you, incredibly difficult.
She hated the wine, hated her mother for dragging her along, hated the way rich people talked about nothing, and thought everything about Saltburn, the Cattons, and the entire night was a frivolous display of meaningless excess and wealth. Rich people are such freaks, she'd told you, with a look that clearly said that includes you, and she's finished another glass of champagne with one large gulp and a shudder. For a long moment you'd looked at her - perhaps you could have been a little less unnerving about it, but she'd caught you off guard - as you tried to think of something to say.
"I think you'd thrive at university," you blurt out. She gives you a look like you were some kind of unpleasant bug, having the audacity to continue speaking to her. One of the staff passes with a tray of more champagne, and you pluck two glasses off, handing one to her as you continued, "however I would be fascinated to hear your thoughts on the way our classicist society prioritises and celebrates formal tertiary education" you let your gaze roam, holding your glass in both hands with the tips of your fingers, a dead giveaway of your nerves without you even realising, but for some reason she's still letting you talk, "and the idea of the pursuit of knowledge without that being a financially sustainable life choice anymore if you do it the wrong way. Why celebrate scientists when we just disregard modern philosophers?" You take a sip of your champagne and try and tell yourself to shut up, "I know the answer's 'because you can't profit off of philosophers as easily as you can scientists', but it just kind of sucks, don't you think?"
A long, uncomfortable silence follows.
"I swear at least Felix, Farleigh, and Venetia aren't freaks," you blurted out. Alyssa's shoulders relaxed just a little. At least you were self aware.
"Who?" Its... less hostile. You point out Felix and Farleigh headed out for a cigarette with a few others around your age, and Alyssa sighs, rolling her eyes. She's still clearly got Catton blood in her, her eyes and nose even remind you of Venetia. Still, she headed towards the side door; even her walk seemed to ooze contempt for the night.
Now, watching her, moonlight peaking down the stairs to catch the way she's beginning to glow with sweat, white-knuckled grip on the dark wood and her once perfectly straight, dark hair turning curly with moisture around her face and by her shoulders, you're actually a little glad to see it. At least she seemed to have found one person not entirely unbearable.
You knew all too well how overwhelming and isolating these events could be. As much as you felt you could relate, you couldn't really understand what she'd be going through, her first time at an event like this, feeling that there's people in the room who truly think you and your family outright don't belong. She should take her fun where she can get it, you think.
Shoving Venetia back to give the couple their privacy, you push her back into the parlour.
"Who is that?" Venetia demanded in a whisper, eyes bright. You sigh, shaking your head.
"Alyssa, she hasn't been to something like this before, just let her have her fun," after a beat, you step in a little closer, hands finding Venetia's hips as you attempted to distract her, "you know we could -"
"Alyssa who?" It hasn't worked. Venetia takes your hands, "this is important." There's something that goes beyond mischief in her eyes.
"Morelli," but she makes a face like that's not enough, "Aunt June's daughter." Venetia frowned.
"Aunt June's daughter married one of those Dubai millionaires five years ago and hasn't sent her a single pound or even a message since."
"That's your Great Aunt June- Juniper," you clarified without missing a beat, "she's not even related to any of you; your mum doesn't know who she was initially tied to in the family." Venetia takes a few moments to give you a look of faint, disbelieving awe. Clearing your throat, you looked back over your shoulder as the suggestive noises around the corner were growing louder, "Estranged Aunt June."
Venetia's eyes lit up with what could only be described as malevolent glee.
"So she's my cousin."
"Yes."
"Actually? Blood and all? Not just one of my uncles' weird friends who's been hanging around for decades so now we have to call them family?"
"I'm beginning to get afraid of your intentions, Ven," despite your wary smile, you weren't really joking. Venetia completely disregards this, however, holding your shoulders so tightly it begins to hurt.
"That girl," she points sharply, the kind of intensity in her eyes that absolutely means trouble, "just around the corner, moaning like a whore, getting fingered, tongued, whatever -" she wets her lips in some kind of anticipation, "is my actual, blood related cousin? And you're entirely sure of that?"
Taking a deep breath, unsure of what the repercussions of this all will be, you slowly nod.
"Yes..."
Venetia steps back, has to clap her hands over her mouth to muffle her positively gleeful laughter. For some unexpected reason, this piece of information seems to be some of the best news she's ever received in her life. It almost brings her to tears. After she calms down, you think you hear her mutter something along the lines of I'm never letting him live this down as she fans herself, attempting to calm herself.
"Ven, are you okay?" Still utterly confused about what any of this means, you can't help the concern you feel. Venetia's nodding, fighting back aftershocks of giggles, gazing often at the doorway.
"Yes, I- you're wonderful, thank you for helping me with that-" overcome by another, brief fit of giggles, it takes her a moment to compose herself, "I love you and your robot brain so very dearly -"
"Oh my god~" from around the corner, and another, louder shush. Venetia buries her face in her hands, echoing oh my god as she chokes on laughter once more. When she resurfaces, face bright red with amusement, you take her hand and try to insist that you should give them privacy.
"Yes, of course," Venetia agrees, suddenly trying to appear as serious as she's able, "I just have one other favour to ask you."
"What?" You ask flatly, unsurprisingly wary, watching her struggle not to grin.
"Could you tell my brother?"
The question hangs in the air for a long, confusing moment.
"Tell him what?"
"That Alyssa's our cousin."
"Sure...?" you frowned a little, peering over her shoulders, "I don't know where he is though, I haven't seen him in a while." Venetia smiles like the Cheshire Cat.
Oh... no... she isn't implying -? But Alyssa's timing is unfortunately perfect.
"Oh my god, Felix~"
Your mouth drops open in shock upon hearing that.
"Oh my God," you groaned, pained by the realisation as your face scrunched up with sudden understanding and disappointment, "Felix."
Venetia is absolutely right, he's never living this down.
"You had me prattling on for fucking ages about nothing, just letting them go at it all the while? You could have just asked!" You hissed, already mortified on his behalf.
"You're letting them go at it now!" She crowed quietly, and ah, fuck. Yeah, she had a point there.
Rounding the corner briskly, you cross your arms but at the very least keep your gaze to the floor.
"Felix -" you clear your throat.
"Oh, fuck off," Alyssa, seeing it's you, groans with frustration. There's movement beneath her dress when you glance up; there's something almost comical about knowing what you're seeing is Felix sitting up straighter under there.
"I know that's you, Y/N," Felix had enough dignity to not sound ashamed or caught out. But he should, "just, yeah mate, could you fuck off a bit?" Its not a particularly sharp request, and if this were any other situation, of course you'd obligingly fuck off. However...
"Well don't fucking stop," Alyssa hisses to him, sounding almost embarrassed by the fact that he was giving you the time of day right now, "seriously, fuck off!" She tries to whisper-shout, but halfway through her voice turns to an unsteady moan and her head falls back against the wall again, "OhmygodFelix~" she whines, bringing one of her legs up over his shoulder.
"So should I wait until after you get her off to tell you?"
"Tell him what you little pervert?" Alyssa, furious at your refusal to leave, demands.
"Hey, be nice to them," you hear, vaguely muffled from under her skirt. You have to snort a laugh.
"Thanks Fi, I'll just tell you now, uh," you can't look at them in this moment, fighting off your embarrassed smile at you look to the ceiling, "I don't think this is what your dad meant when he suggested you get to know Aunt June's kids; this might be too welcoming for your recently un-estranged cousin."
Around the corner you hear Venetia cackling like a banshee, clearly having been eavesdropping.
Felix scrambles back from under Alyssa's dress, looking an absolute mess.
"You what?"
"Oh my god." There's nothing lewd about it this time, Alyssa herself sounds absolutely fucking mortified.
----
The next morning, over breakfast, the mood is... strained. Its Sir James who breaks the ice, brightly - though it's clearly forced - commenting on how the night took such an unexpected and unfortunate turn. Felix, who likely doesn't even remember the end of the night considering how thoroughly plastered he got after his unfortunate affair with his cousin, looks to his father very suddenly, the sudden fear in his eyes about what his parents may know hidden by his large, dark glasses. He'd threatened to drown himself in the lake if you or Venetia told anyone, but his memory got fuzzy from there. The hangover that he's half worried might actually kill him doesn't help.
"Such a shame," Elspeth sighed, "I would have thought June would raise them better than that."
"Estranged Aunt June's daughter, Alyssa," you leaned over to Felix to stage whisper the context to him, half worried the paranoia might kill him there at the table. Venetia does however feel the need to smugly butt in and remind him -
"Our biological cousin."
"Apparently convinced her younger brothers to riot and start breaking all the crockery," you finished. Felix frowned in vague confusion, a feeling which Farleigh seemed to share.
"And it was so unnecessary, like she knew it was the first family thing her mom had been invited to in a decade -"
"She hates rich people and thinks we're freaks," you sat back, shrugging, "she told me so herself."
"Who, June?" Sir James sounded downright heartbroken at the idea, so you quickly shook your head.
"Alyssa." It seems to alleviate some of his concerns, but not a lot, and Sir James goes back to his breakfast still looking rather put out.
"Well maybe," Venetia leans her elbows on the table, bread knife in hand that she was using to flippantly gesture with, "there's some rich people that she should hate," her gaze and smug smile lands on you, as does the nonchalant way she's pointing with her knife, right before she flicks her wrist as if pointing at her brother by pure chance, "and some of us who are freaks."
Felix glared down at his breakfast.
"I don't know why we un-estranged Aunt June in the first place," he grumbled mostly to himself, though not quiet enough that the rest of the table didn't hear. Sir James sighed with disappointment.
"I think in future we may have to limit June's invitations to only her and her husband," he says, shaking his head. Elspeth kindly tells him that it's probably for the best.
Venetia, still apparently feeling petty, threw a bread roll at her brother, who hadn't looked up from where he seemed to be trying to divine life's secrets from his plate of sausages. It glances off his forehead, but knocks his glasses loose and into his breakfast. A second later Felix officially gives up and follows suit, faceplanting into his food.
"Oh my god, Felix!" His mother gasps with concern.
Despite Elspeth sounding nothing like Alyssa had the night before, the familiar phrase sets Venetia off, cackling with laughter at the top of her lungs. While the rest of the table is utterly confused by the series of events that have just occurred, you scoot your chair over close to Felix, patting him sympathetically on the back. Beneath the table, he rests his hand on your knee to give a grateful squeeze. When he talks, only you can hear it, resigned and half muffled by scrambled eggs.
"Hate this family."
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1d1195 · 7 months
Text
Traditional Extra IV
Read Traditional here
A little on the shorter side.
I love to make Harry whiny.
Warnings: angst, fluff, nothing particularly special about this one.
~2k words
"Baby, come on. You’re scaring me,” she said gently. He wanted to throw something. Everything was making him mad; he felt the ache all the way to his bones.
“Y’can’t fix this,” he muttered bitterly.
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It was quarter past one. Which meant that she was set to walk into Harry’s office with his cup of tea in her hand. Even though it had been more than a year since her hot beverage accident, she was extremely mindful of turning corners with something that could scald her in her hands. The idea that Harry might fire someone because she was accidentally injured was too much for her to bear. She had her phone pressed between her shoulder and ear. Her cold coffee was in the crook of her arm as she reached for his door.
But instead, all sound stopped at the noise behind it. People paused in their path to the breakroom, the conference room, or back to their offices. The sound of Harry screaming nearly echoed as she looked at the wooden door separating her and her very obvious, very angry boyfriend.
“God bless her,” someone murmured.
“Don’t think I could do it. No matter how cute he is,” she heard another voice whisper. She wondered if she knew they were loud enough for her to hear. Or maybe with the phone pressed to her ear, they didn’t think she was paying attention.
“I’m sorry, I will call you back in half an hour,” she said softly to the phone. There was a response, but she didn’t hear it as she hung up. Niall was back in their office. Probably already looking to solve whatever issue had Harry breaking the sound barrier. Or maybe he was lucky and in another meeting. Maybe this wouldn’t be his problem. But it was definitely going to be part of her problem.
Harry didn’t scare her for the sake of her well-being. She never worried about her safety or whether Harry would harm her in a fit of whatever was causing him distress. The only alarm Harry caused her was the worry that he was going to have an untimely heart attack at such a young age due to his distress. More so, she worried one of these days she wouldn’t be able to fix his problems.
Or that he wouldn’t want her to. One day Harry was going to yell at her. Not purposefully. Not because he was mad at her. But he was going to take his frustration out on her. It was a matter of when not if. Maybe today would be the day.
Turning the knob, she heard everyone behind her collectively hold their breath. They knew she would fix it... probably. She entered slowly, like it was a lion’s den, and she didn’t want to be seen just yet. She closed the door quietly, with a soft click.
Harry was leaning over his empty desk. His computer, his phone, the picture frame with a picture of them from her graduation, all of it was laying shattered and broken to pieces on the floor across the room. His breath was practically panting. She watched him for a few moments: his shoulders rising and falling quickly and dramatically.
Whatever happened obviously made him mad. When Harry was mad, she felt the creeping sense of worry that he would work himself up to a point he couldn’t come back down from and again, worried about his health.
“Harry, baby?” She asked softly after a moment.
“Get. Out.” He seethed. She felt like a knife had been twisted into her heart and she felt like she would cry. Harry never told her to leave or accidentally yelled at her without a pet name attached to it.
He was definitely going to ruin their day. He was going to take out his frustration on her. Today was sure to be the day. She stood silently by the door. Afraid to take another step or make another noise. He still hadn’t turned around. She could see he was still shaking from across the room. Her heart felt so heavy for his worry and discomfort of whatever was hurting him.
In an instant, his cell phone was pressed to his ear. “What?” He snapped. Harry listened for all of twenty seconds before his phone was added to the pile of debris. He took three strides behind his desk and threw his chair toward the rest of his office supplies as well. A hole appeared in the drywall.
That was too much for her. She had to intervene. She was worried he was going to hurt himself at any moment. Swiftly and silently, she made her way to the couch, setting the drinks on the side table before she hurried to Harry’s side before he tried to tip his desk over or something. “Harry,” she whispered softly. He flinched at her touch, yanking from her so violently it almost looked like he smacked her hands away. She blinked in surprise and tried again anyway. “Baby,” her voice was firmer. She pressed her hands on his forearms. He looked at her, still seething with rage. She could see sweat forming at his hairline. Darkening his chocolate curls. His face was flushed red, his arms were clammy to the touch even through his shirt.
“I told you t’get out,” he snapped at her; it was like he wasn’t seeing that it was her.
She nodded understandingly. “I know,” she whispered in agreement. “I know,” she tugged him toward the couch. Despite how angry he was, he let her lead him. Harry stood in front of the sofa still shaking and she paid no mind to it. She pressed him back, so his legs touched the furniture and he had no choice but to sit. She crouched in front of him.
He was intimidating. Even to her, she couldn’t help but feel the adrenaline running through her blood, her heart fluttering nervously that she was going to make matters worse and just upset him more.
But his typically gentle, green eyes turned nearly black—his pupils dilating to fit nearly the entirety of his irises with how angry he felt. His breath was a bit raspy. His muscles were practically rippling as his hands and arms shook. Even just sitting there.
“Baby, come on. You’re scaring me,” she said gently. He wanted to throw something. Everything was making him mad; he felt the ache all the way to his bones. “Put your head between your knees please.”
“Y’can’t fix this,” he muttered bitterly.
“Harry, please just let me try,” she whispered softly. “Just five minutes and then I’ll leave, and you can set the office on fire,” she promised. Harry grunted in response, and she guided his hands behind his head, his elbows rested on his thighs. She rubbed his back soothingly. “Deep breath,” she whispered. He placated her and took a deep breath, but it sounded shallow. “What happened?” She asked softly.
He shook his head. He could feel tears pricking his eyes.
“Harry, baby,” she murmured. “Talk to me, please. Should I get Niall?”
He took another breath. “I lost a client. A huge one. S’going to...” his breath was shaky as he exhaled. “Kitten, s’bad,” he mumbled.
She frowned. “Oh, love,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”
He picked his head up and looked at her. “M’sorry I yelled at you,” he muttered. “I’m...”
She shook her head. “It’s okay, I know it’s not about me.”
“I shouldn’t yell at you. Ever. You only try t’help. Always,” he looked so dejected. “I...I have t’find a new client or I’ll have t’make cuts next quarter.”
“Okay, so we’ll find one,” she whispered.
He wanted to snap but it was his angel touching him so gently. Trying to comfort him as best she could. He couldn’t hear it. He shook his head. “S’not that simple, kitten,” her positivity was admirable, but he was so mad, so sad. This was a huge deal. A huge letdown.
She sat beside him and grabbed his hand. She twined their fingers together and she looked over at the pile he made of all his electronics and the chair. With a squeeze of his hand, she rested her head on his arm. “Whatever it is Harry, I’ll be right beside you,” she promised.
He turned toward her. “Kitten, I might...have t’fire you.”
She felt her heart flutter, but she nodded looking at their hands. “It’s just a job,” she whispered.
“Love...”
“Harry, I have you. A job... at your company.” she shrugged. “It’s just a bonus.”
“I might lose a lot of money.”
“I’m not with you for money,” she promised with a smirk.
He looked at her, his eyes were red around the corners. His face was withdrawn. He was handsome as ever; even as broken as he felt. “You would love me...if I was broke?”
“I would love you even if you didn’t have a porch swing.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “M’so in love with you. So...” he shook his head. “Hopeless for you,” he murmured. “Don’t deserve you,” he mumbled. “You’re too good,” he nosed at her temple. “I’m sorry, kitten.”
She shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize to me.” He looked at her. So sad. Poor thing. Her heart ached to make it better. The first thing she was going to do when she got back to her office was tell Niall as much as she could, and begin searching for a new client. Then probably order Harry new furniture. He stayed silent. His anger settled into sadness. He felt so dejected.
Sighing softly, she cupped his face. He looked so sad. “Do you know you told me you loved me when you were sick?”
He looked up at her curiously. “What?” He momentarily forgot about the turmoil he felt about his company.
“You were delirious,” she smiled. Harry thought she looked like an angel. He swore she had been sculpted by an artist. Even when he felt so terrible, she was just so pretty. It felt like he was healing. “You were falling asleep and just told me you loved me,” she shrugged.
“So y’knew all that time,” he murmured with a smirk toying at his lips. It was weird how he could make him feel better. Even at a time like this.
She nodded excitedly with an impish grin. “Yeah...” she smirked.
“And y’still thought I didn’t love you with m’whole heart after that? That I wouldn’t have...” He rolled his eyes as he trailed off.
She giggled and shrugged. “People can say crazy things when they’re sick.”
He looked at her. “I love you.”
“I’m aware,” she said cutely. If she had a free hand, she would have flipped her hair behind her shoulder. Harry laughed at her, shook his head so his nose bumped hers. “I love you,” she whispered.
“Say it again,” he murmured, his eyes getting this dreamy, far-off look. His chest felt warm. Part of him never wanted to leave this couch. He never wanted to move. The idea of dealing with what was in store for him seemed so bleak.
She was never bleak. She was perfect. She made everything better, even when he didn’t want her to. “I love you,” she repeated effortlessly. “So much. No matter what. No matter how much money you have or how many porch swings you buy me.”
He cupped her face and leaned so his lips just barely brushed hers. “Don’t know how I did this without you before,” he murmured.
“You’ll never have to do it again,” she promised.
Harry was dreading getting a new phone and a new computer, knowing how bad it was about to get. But somehow her ability to worm her way into his heart and his brain made him believe, even for a moment, that it would be okay.
Or maybe it was just the taste of her lips between his that made him believe.
--
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Text
That final line - Joe Liebgott x F!Reader
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Summary: Things have changed between Joe and Reader after bearing witness to the Concentration camp. They moved from being best friends to something more emotionally intimate. Now that the war in Europe is over will they cross the last line and become physically intimate?
Warnings: 18+ content (smut, p in v) angst-ish (mentions of war & concentration camp), comforting each other, tooth rotting fluff at end, she/her pronouns (no use of y/n or 1st person POV, but told from Liebgott's perspective sorta).
A/N: I have the biggest respect for the real life heroes of WWII (and all other wars, past & current), this work & all other works is based on the actor(s) and character(s) portrayed in the Band of Brothers series.
A/N pt 2: I love how this turned out. Basically this is just my own self-indulgence wish that I could have held and taken care of Liebgott after that scene of him crying in the truck. As always, let me know what you think! I tried a different writing perspective and I like it, hopefully you do too. Comments, likes, and reblogs make me happy and feel validated!
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Joe Liebgott would forever be a different man. Easy Company had just liberated Kaufering IV but that included locking the poor souls back up for the medics to be able to try and get them back from the brink of death. The whole thing had left Joe feeling broken and full of pure rage and despair he didn't know how to get rid of it. So he grabbed a bottle of wine and wondered till he found a tree isolated enough he wouldn't easily be found. He just needed space.
He'd been alone for hours, judging by how low the sun was hanging, bottle long since empty, and eyes sore and dry from tears when he heard a twig snap. Looking around the tree, his heart both swelled and shattered at the sight of the person walking towards him. She was his best friend, been that way since Toccoa and all through the war thus far. The only person that could calm him down when his hot-headedness got the better of him and always had his back in every combat situation. He never had to worry when she was around. She was also the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and had long since accepted that his heart would always speed up a little when she was in eyesight. While his heart had the usual reaction at seeing her, he couldn't help but feel broken anew at the sadness on her face and emptiness in her eyes. He wasn't the only one tore up from their recent experience.
"I've been looking for you everywhere." She speaks barely above a whisper as she drops down next to him, already leaning against his arm.
"I'm sorry, I just had to get away for a while. I should have found you and brought you with me." He leans over to drop a kiss on the top of her head.
There's a beat of silence and then she speaks again, still in a low whisper, "Do you think they'll make it?"
The words are a dagger to his already bruised and bleeding heart. He gives a small sniff, trying to hold back the fresh tears.
"I don't know." He feels her turn her body towards him and knows she's taking in his appearance detail by detail.
"You can let it out, Joe. I know this is tearing you up. Please don't hold it in and let it destroy you." One hand grasps his while the other gently takes his chin and turns his head so their eyes meet. He tries to push the emotions back down and come up with something to say, but he loses all resolve when her hand moves to cup his cheek and wipe away a stray tear that falls out.
Joe is suddenly wrapping his arms around her, pressing his face in the crook of her neck and letting it all out. He feels her shift them so he's laying mostly on her, her back against the tree and arms tightly wrapped around him. One hand is gripping the back of his jacket tightly, holding him to her, the other is gently stroking his head, and when he feels the side of his face getting wet he knows she's crying too.
They stay like that for hours, until the sun is nearly gone and all tears have been let out. Even after the tears, they don't move, finding too much comfort in holding each other. The only thing that gets them finally moving is their stomachs growling. Joe gets up first, holding his hand out to help her up and starts walking them back to find some food. He looks down briefly when he feels her intertwine their fingers and give his hand a squeeze. The first smile he's had in days makes it way across his face and he squeezes her hand back.
As the days dragged on ahead, their bond grew even tighter. There was a new level of safety and vulnerability that blossomed. Hands would brush more often, hugs turned tighter and longer, if they were able to they'd often be found napping together tangled limbs and all. It was as natural as breathing to seek the other out and before Joe knew it, he was hit with the realization that he was head-over-heels in love with his best friend.
The popping of yet another champagne bottle drags Joe from his mulling and takes in the sight around him with a smile. They are in the Eagles Nest, the war in Europe is over and everyone is finally able to relax and celebrate. He's sitting by Webster and Perco, watching the other's talk and laugh, already more than a little drunk. His smile widens when he catches her eye, sitting next to Malarkey and they salute each other from across the room.
"You ever gonna make a move, Lieb?" Perco's question lands like a bomb right in his stomach.
"What the hell are you talking about?" He looks at the man next to him like he's crazy, but inside he's frantic. Is it that obvious?
"Oh come on, Liebgott. The two of you have been attached at the hip the whole war, even back at training. We've all noticed the stolen looks between you. The wars over, just go for it." Webster gives him a shove, pointedly ignoring the glare Joe shoots at him.
"I gotta take a leak." Joe abruptly stands and leaves before either of them can continue their pestering. They're right, he knows they're right. Since accepting his feelings, the only thing that's been holding him back has been the on-going war. Sure there's still Japan to figure out but right now, their immediate part is over and he doesn't have to worry about dying and leaving her or worse losing her any second to a bullet or bomb.
Not actually needing the bathroom, he finds himself wondering the halls of the Eagles Nest and randomly picking a room to go into. It's spacious with a sitting area, a large comfortable bed sitting against the back wall, a door leading to an adjoining bathroom next to it and doors to the right leading to a balcony. He heads to the balcony, throwing the doors open and leans against the railing taking in the mountains and open valley. It's so quiet and peaceful, he doesn't know how to reconcile it with the horrors the owner and occupants have done to the people of this land.
"Why am I always having to search for you?" A soft, happy voice speaks behind him. Joe turns around and feels his breathe catch in his throat at how beautiful and easy going she looks, leaning around the doorframe to the balcony. When he didn't respond, she stands up a little straighter. "What? Is there something on my face?"
Joe shakes his head and moves to stand in-front of her, raising his hand to trail a finger down her cheek. "You're beautiful."
"How drunk are you?" Her voice is playful, but Joe knew his words were having an effect on her based on the blush she now had.
"Not even tipsy. But drunk or sober, you're still beautiful." His hand cups her cheek, tilts her head up a little to fully meet his eyes and he decides to cross that final line. "I love you. I love you fully and completely; body, mind, and soul. I need you, more than I need to breathe. If you don't feel the same, that's fine. I will lock my heart away to keep you in my life however you wish to be. But the war here is done and I'm out of reasons to not tell you how I feel. Tell me you don't feel the same and I'll respect that, but if you feel even close to what I feel please let me know."
Joe see's tears form in her eyes and for a heartbreaking second he's sure she's going to tell him 'no' and walk away. Then he feels her hands on his face and holds his breathe as she rises on her toes, stopping when her lips are barely brushing his.
"I love you, Joe. I'm yours; body, mind and soul." And then her lips are pressing against his and Joe thinks he's died and gone to heaven.
Their kiss is passionate and slow, taking full advantage that they don't have to rush and can take their time exploring. Joe starts nudging her backwards, back into the main room and towards the bed. A line of clothes marks their path as they help each other be rid of them, kissing freshly exposed shoulders and necks as they go. Soon enough they've managed to be rid of everything and tumble onto the bed in a heap.
Joe leans back just enough to take in the site of her underneath him. Face flushed, lips swollen and glossy from kissing, hair spread out like a halo, chest rising and falling hard as she tries to catch her breathe. He leans his head down pressing kisses to her neck, trailing down her collarbone, around the swell of her breast and ending at her nipple. He takes his time delivering languid licks and sucks, making her skin pucker and rise. Not wanting to leave the other one out of the fun, his hand cups, massages and pinches a little on the flesh there, his other hand hasn't stopped caressing any part of her skin he can reach.
If he has any doubts of how he's making her feel, the gasps and moans falling from her lips dispel them quickly. Soon enough her hands are in his hair and scratching down his back as she wraps her legs around his waist pulling him closer. Joe stops his minstrations on her breast with a groan when his erection is pressed right against her wet core and he can't help but roll his hips into her again. This time they both moan.
"Joe, please. I need you." Her voice is ragged and the lustful look in her eyes almost has him finishing right then. He shifts to the side a little, giving him room to run his hand down her side and cup her core. She's soaking and his brain short circuits a little.
His fingers make quick work of making sure she is coated properly, detouring to her clit to rub until she starts to whimper and pull at him. As he meets her eyes, he raises his fingers to his lips and sucks her taste off of them.
"Goddamn, baby. Next time I'm spending hours down there." He rushes out as he positions himself at her entrance. "But if I don't have you soon, I might die." He looks at her for confirmation that she's ready and when she nods, he starts pushing in slowly.
They groan together at the feel of him sliding into place like a puzzle piece coming home. Once he's bottomed out, he drops down to his elbows, putting more of himself on top of her and rests his forehead against hers. Her thighs tighten around him as she turns her head to kiss him.
"Move. Please." She bites his bottom lip at the same time she scratches his back again.
"Yes ma'am." He presses his lips firmly to her, swallowing the moan she lets out as he pulls out and quickly snaps back in. He finds a steady rhythm, angling his hips just right so he's brushing that sweet spot within her. Her back bows, pressing her chest further into his and exposes her neck to his lips. He doesn't waste any time placing a hard bite where it'll be hard to hide the mark already forming. This spurs something in her and soon her hands are in his hair, tugging his head to the side as she returns the favor.
Joe can tell she starts to get close to her release, as her walls start fluttering around him and her moans start becoming more frequent. He raises himself up, gripping the headboard with one hand and dropping his other hand down to rub her clit.
"I know you're close baby. Look at me as you let go." His voice is deep and commanding. Her eyes immediately lock onto his and his movements pick up speed. A few more hard thrusts and a pinch on her clit and she's moaning his name and clamping down around him. The feeling of her combined with his name falling from her lips like a prayer has him falling right behind her.
As they come down from their highs, they exchange slow kisses and 'I love you's'.
Bonus scene:
Not wanting to waste a beautiful day, the guys had decided to have an impromptu baseball game. Joe stood in his spot, waiting to bat next, sending a smile and wave to the stands where his girl was watching and cheering. They were getting ready for the next play when Winters came strolling across the field. They all crowded around him, fully expecting to hear their deployment orders for fighting Japan. Instead he was giving them the best news they'd heard since VE day. Japan had surrendered. The war, all of it, was finally over.
All the guys started cheering, exchanging hugs and pats on the backs. Joe see's her coming towards them at an easy jog, a curious look on her face. He gives her the biggest smile and runs right up to her, lifting her in his arms and spins her around.
"Japan surrendered. It's over. We're going home." Her smile matches his as she fully takes in his words and hugs him back. Just as quick as it started, Joe stops spinning her and sets her down on her feet, then he's down on one knee, holding her hands.
"Marry me. Come back home with me. Or wherever you wanna live. I don't care. Just marry me, please." Everything dulls around the edges as he holds his breathe, waiting for her response.
"Yes, Joe!" She smiles bright enough to blind the sun and then starts laughing when he jumps back up and starts spinning her around again. The only sound is the cheering of their friends and their hearts beating in sync.
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iikatsukii · 1 year
Text
3:15 (breathe)
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synopsis: story inspired by the song 3:15 by russ
pairings: lo’ak x metkayina!reader
warnings: angst to comfort & minor violence
word count: 6.6k
a/n: ive been writing this for too long but im back with a present 🫶🏾 (also i know this one isnt shortened by a read more thing im sorry guys i tried idk why its not working but hopefully when i get my laptop charger back ill be able to fix it but pls just bare with me just this once)
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you had been staring at the roof of your marui for about 20 minutes now. you were dreading getting up. you've felt like this for the past few months but couldn't pinpoint exactly when it started. being the youngest daughter of tonowari and ronal is like asking every boy in the clan to court you. when you chose rotxo, all the boys in the clan were heartbroken. you and tsireya found it kinda funny, to be honest.
you and rotxo have been dating for about half a year now. everything leading up to the relationship had been amazing. the fleeting glances, soft touches, the surprise dates. he had courted you perfectly, so he was over the moon when you finally said yes. his loving actions continued three months into the relationship. then suddenly, you started to notice a shift in his behaviors.
he wouldn't surprise you with dates anymore, he only hung out with ao'nung and his friends, he wouldn't make time for you, and when you did ask to spend time with him, he would brush you off, saying he was busy.
of course, your siblings didn't know about this. rotxo told you not to tell them. "i mean, what would ao'nung think of me? he would never want to be friends with me again," he told you. you sighed, "you're right, rotxo. i'm sorry. i won't say anything." rotxo pulled you into a hug, holding your head to his chest so you couldn't see the smirk he held on his face. on the other hand, you held an expression of self-doubt. like you knew the choice to not speak up was dumb, and you wished you could take your words back, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it.
so you remained in rotxo's arms day after day, putting on a show that everyone believed. never saying anything to anyone. never saying anything about all the harsh words rotxo would say to you, about the loneliness you felt, or about the scars he left on your heart.
tsireya, your twin sister, suspected something was off about your relationship because of how differently you had been acting recently. ever since rotxo started treating you poorly, tsireya would hear you cry yourself to sleep every night. still, when she confronted you about it, you would brush her off, saying she was probably hearing things from how tired she had been. and the thing is, nobody else seems to hear it, so it's not like tsireya can have someone to back her up.
you finally gathered the energy to get up, 2 hours later than you were supposed to, and you groaned, knowing your father was going to kill you. you quickly get dressed, rushing to find someone, anyone who can tell you where your father is. finally, you see a huge crowd, what looks like the entire clan, gathered at the shores of the beaches.
"uturu has been asked.." you heard faintly. as you made your way to the front of the crowd, where you heard your father's voice, you caught the tail end of the conversation. "toruk makto and his family will live among us. my children will teach your children the ways of the water so that your family does not suffer the burden of being useless." you hid behind your father. as he spoke, you looked over to who he was talking to.
a group of 6 darker-toned na'vi were standing huddled together. 2 parents and 4 children. you analyzed each child, still hiding behind your father. the smallest, youngest na'vi was holding her mother's hand, hiding behind her leg, similar to how you're hiding behind your father. the older female, who looked about your age, had an annoyed look on her face. you giggled at her expression, being able to tell that she wanted to be anywhere but here.
then you looked at the taller, assumingly older brother. he looked tight-laced, like he was the perfect child. a golden boy, if you would. not really your type but eh, who are you to say anything. you have a boyfriend, for crying out loud. you shouldn't even be thinking things like this in the first place. you rolled your eyes, ignoring the annoying thoughts in your head, as you looked at the other boy standing next to the eldest son.
that's when you noticed the eyes that were staring back at you. they were the prettiest amber color you've ever seen, accented by… is that hair above his eyes? his eyes glowed in the sun, and his markings? don't even start; his markings running along his body were mesmerizing. but the one thing that interested you was the look he held in his eyes. nobody had ever looked at you like that, and of course, that makes it harder to pinpoint precisely what makes you feel this way. while you were entranced in the visitor's eyes, you failed to notice your own boyfriend noticing you. once the clan's people started to disperse, your sister grabbed your hand and dragged you over to the new family.
rotxo was going to approach you, but he was stopped by ao'nung, who nodded his head back to the water, where they would later meet you, tsireya, and those 'freaks' for lessons. ao'nung missed the furious expression his best friend held. rotxo was quick to fix his face, though, playing nice. he saw the looks between you and that forest boy, and he was not happy about it. he decided to observe from afar before confronting you about anything, not wanting youîu to know that he noticed anything.
as you and tsireya approached the family, you got to take a closer look at the boy before you. your thoughts, though, were interrupted by your twin, "let us show you to your new home," as she and you guided the new family to their home, you could tell their father was trying to stay positive, but the way their mother dropped her belongings when she saw where they would be living was comedic to you. you couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction, not maliciously, of course. you're not like your brother ao'nung and boyfriend rotxo.
"sister, i was late to the gathering. i have no idea who these people are or what's happening." you whispered to your twin. "oh right! where were you, by the way? i had to go through ilu training with the boys alone! it was horrible." she groaned. you sighed. yeah, you're definitely gonna get your ass beat when you get home. "father didn't happen to notice, did he?" you said, already knowing the answer. tsireya just laughed "skxawng." she said, hitting your shoulder. "hey!" you said defensively, ready to hit her back until a hand caught yours. you turned around to see one of the new na'vi boys. it was the younger one.
"as amusing it is to see two sisters-" he started
"twins," you and tsireya corrected at the same time. it freaked both boys out, but they thought it was cute in a way.
"as amusing as it is to see twins bickering with one another, i believe a lesson is in our near future? per request of your father, that is." the tone he used was teasing. how could he speak to you with such confidence when he didn't even know your name? rotxo had never spoken to you like that. his words were always soft, almost shy as if he didn't want to scare you with how loud you knew he could be. for some reason, though, it made you like rotxo more.
but with how things have been going well recently, rotxo isn't that soft-spoken boy anymore. hell, he barely acts like your boyfriend now. so maybe it won't be wrong to get to know someone new? only as a friend, though. you would never dream of cheating, let alone act on it.
you looked down to see that the younger brother, whose name you still had yet to find out, was still holding onto your wrist, waiting for an answer.
oh shit, he's waiting on an answer.
you had zoned out, daydreaming about the boy who was gazing at you equally as curious. thankfully you guys had an energetic little girl to catch your attention. "LAST ONE TO THE WATER IS THANATOR BAIT," she said as she jumped into the water.
you and your sister giggled at the young girl's actions, deciding to jump right in after her. the remaining na'vi jumped in as well as you and tsireya swam, guiding them to where you would have this supposed lesson. as you and your twin swam, she explained everything that had happened while you were sleeping using your clan's sign language. it was making more sense now. this family fled their home, seeking a safe place to stay… uturu…
as you had gotten to the rocks by the beach, you noticed that your brother was there, which could only mean one thing. rotxo was here, too, great. you didn't really feel like pretending to be happy with him around people right now, but you slapped on your usual fake smile, praying to eywa that these newcomers were as easy to fool as everyone else on this island.
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you had begun your lessons as usual, you and tsireya being paired up with the youngest son as he was having the most difficulty.
"breathe in. breathe from down here," tsireya said as she placed her hand on lo'ak's stomach. you placed your hand on his heart to check its speed as you continued, "breathe out." you sighed again. "lo'ak, your heartbeat is fast," you said, looking up at him, happy that you had learned his name because now you could address him by his name.
"sorry," he said,
"try to focus," tsireya added, his eyes meeting hers as she spoke. you noticed that when his eyes shifted, his expression remained the same bright, curious look he gave you; he also held with your sister.
maybe that's just how he looks at people, you thought as you continued to help him.
you felt eyes on your back, knowing it was rotxo staring at you. you looked over your shoulder and made eye contact with your boyfriend, smiling and waving at him, getting nothing but a stone-cold look in return. nobody seemed to notice, so the embarrassment was yours alone. or so you thought until you turned back to lo'ak, seeing as he had seen the whole interaction between the two of you. nobody had ever noticed something like this happen. you tried to read the forest boy's expression but couldn't. all you knew was that he didn't have that same bright look in his eyes as he looked at rotxo.
so maybe he doesn't look at everyone like that…
the exchange sent a shiver up your back. you had a feeling nothing good would come of these two interacting, but over the months, rotxo had diminished your self-confidence, finding yourself seriously doubting your judgment. so you ignored the feeling, not thinking it would be worth risking the normalcy in your daily life.
with lessons finally ending, you excused yourself from the rest as you walked back to your marui, knowing that your parents were about to beat your ass. you walked into your home with your ears flat against your head, tail between your legs, and head hung in shame.
"y/n te ronal'ite," your mother sneered.
oh yeah. you're fucked.
"father, mother, i am sorry i do not know why i overslept this morning–"
"this is the fifth time this has happened, child. you do not know why you have overslept five times this month?" your mothers' words were harsh; you knew she was very upset with you because of how you had been acting recently. you also knew she didn't like your relationship with rotxo, no matter how nice she thought the boy was. to her, something was just off, she could hear eywa whispering to her about it at night, but when she awoke in the morning, it became nothing but a second thought as all her tsahik duties became a priority as she started her day.
"mother, i am sorry. i do not know why this is happening, but i promise it won't happen again," you said, falling to your knees and begging your parents for forgiveness. you hated when they were upset with you, from when you were a kid until now—especially your father.
you were a daddy's girl; you couldn't help it. your father was your safe haven, and you hated when he was disappointed in you even more than you hated when your mother was mad at you. so when you looked into his eyes and saw concern and not disappointment, you knew something was wrong.
"ma y/n, what is the matter? ite, if something is wrong, you know you can tell me." your father tried.
this was the one thing you couldn't confide in your father for. usually, you have little to no trouble telling your father what's wrong, but this was different. you couldn't bring yourself to tell him. so you just looked up at your father, tears in your eyes, and said
"nothing is wrong, father. i have no excuse for waking up late, so please issue my punishment. i have to finish my chores for the day," hearing your voice so cold sent a shiver up your parents' backs. that was what made them realize there really is something wrong. no matter how much you deny it, they can finally see past the facade that you've been keeping up.
how have they never noticed? how long has this been going on?
ronal looked at her husband, silently asking him for help. for once, the tsahik didn't know what to do. as attuned to eywa as she was, the great mother can't outright tell her what is wrong or how to solve it, thus leaving ronal feeling hopeless.
useless.
a tsahik who can't even help her own child. what good is she?
tonowari cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.
"two weeks, ilu keeper. you are to bring and return the villager's ilus as well as headcount the north, south, east, and west pens before the eclipse to ensure all ilus are accounted for. you are dismissed," your father's tone was equally as cold as yours. you knew the game he was playing, and you wouldn't fall for it this time. you knew your father was just trying to reciprocate the attitude you were giving him so you would crack. so you quickly left your home, knowing that if you stayed any longer, you would burst into tears and beg your father to hold you in his arms.
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your depression had continued for months after the day of the sullys arrival. things with rotxo had only gotten worse, and to you, it seemed like nobody was noticing your depleting health. but in reality, everyone knew you were sad, but nobody knew why.
except for one person
you were so grateful for lo'ak. he was the only person who noticed. he saw everything and sat you down, saying you couldn't endure this abusive relationship anymore. he saw all the scowls and rolled eyes your boyfriend sent your way when you were looking and when you weren't looking. he also saw stuff that you hadn't seen. like rotxo entertaining different girls throughout the village. all of those girls being the ones who you said were your very good friends, but more specifically, it was your best friend.
you and your sully boy were walking along the shore, deciding to go for a walk after he had returned from his daily chores. the walk was silent, but you noticed the furrowed eyebrows above lo'ak's eyes, indicating that he was thinking.
"if you think too hard, you may end up hurting yourself, forest boy," you teased, giggling at his reaction. the boy had rolled his eyes, relieving his eyebrow of their stress as he nudged your side with his elbow. "hey, watch it," he said, laughing along with you.
then he got serious again, you noticed the stress return to his eyebrows, and you couldn't help but stop walking, concerned for your friend.
"lo'ak, what is the matter?" you asked, voice quiet, almost a whisper. lo'ak had barely heard it over the sounds of the tide washing up against the shore. he was silent for a while, debating on if this was his place to say anything, but the boy was worried for you so he spoke up.
"as your friend, y/n, i cannot allow you to continue to be in this relationship." his words were firm. you knew this was coming, and you were hoping you could avoid it, but in the end, it seemed inevitable. you sighed, exhausted, dropping your facade.
"lo'ak, please. don't say anything to anyone. i am fine, okay? rotxo is just busy, is all–"
"yeah, busy suckin' face with your so-called friends, y/n," lo'ak huffed, tired of seeing you endure this treatment. you perked up at his words, though. what was he talking about?
"what do you mean?" you said as you stepped closer, wanting to look deeper into his eyes to ensure he wasn't lying.
"your boy has been cheating on you with all the girls you call your 'friends', especially your best friend. whenever he says he's busy with ao'nung and the guys, neteyam tells me he sneaks off halfway through. and i've personally caught him with so many girls y/n. he's been cheating on you." the words echo in your head.
cheating?
with your friends?
your boyfriend…
your boyfriend.
a new feeling had blossomed in your chest. it felt like a raging fire in your chest, out of control and blazing with heat. oh, you were pissed. so lo'ak hatched a plan for you.
"take this," he said as he reached up to his neck, taking off his communicator and giving it to you. "wear it tomorrow. and right before eclipse, i want you to go to the west ilu pen. but be quiet when you get there. that's usually where rotxo meets your best friend." the words squeezed at your heart, but the fury in your chest overpowered it all.
"fine," you said as your eyes met his once again. you moved your hair behind over your left shoulder as you turned around, signaling for him to put the communicator on for you.
once it was secure, you turned to face him again, knowing that this would be the last moment of peace you would have until the storm you had been so severely trying to avoid.
"thank you," was the last thing you said to the forest boy before you made your way home. knowing the next day would be one of the worst days of your life.
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it was a few minutes til eclipse, and you were waiting in a hidden spot near the west ilu pen just like lo'ak had told you. you had been waiting here for 15 minutes, and neither rotxo nor your best friend had shown up. did lo'ak lie? what reason would he have to lie? it's not like he likes you. lo'ak always uses phrases like "as your friend…" and "friends don't treat friends like that," insinuating that he, too, thought of you as a friend and nothing more, so what reason would he have to lie. you were about to radio him, pressing the button on your neck, because you were getting annoyed waiting here for so long. but then you heard a familiar laugh.
that's your best friend's laugh.
you turned around, peeking through leaves to see rotxo and your best friend holding hands, laughing with one another. keeping your hand against your communicator, you tried to get as close as possible without revealing your hiding spot so that lo'ak could hear everything happening.
"are you sure this is okay, rotxo? what about y/n? you know she's my best friend." your best friends laughter had died down as the two came to a halt.
"ma yawne, you need not worry." your boyfriend reassured.
"but what about her? you guys are in a relationship, and she is olo'eyktans daughter. if we get caught, we're done for. plus, she's been looking so sad recently. i can't help but feel like she knows." tears sprung to her eyes and you couldn't help but roll your own.
"mawey, my love. she does not know. besides, she has been ignoring me recently. i've been left alone, wondering if she's okay. i ask her every day to talk to me and tell me something; i reassure her that i'm here for her and that she can talk to me about anything. she brushes me off, not even giving me the time of day. it is like she has completely shut me out. i feel so left in the dark," your best friend just coos at the boy, pulling into a hug in an attempt to 'hug' him when she really is just trying to push her boobs against his chest. his hand placement wasn't any better. he had his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to himself if even possible.
OH, BOO FUCKING HOO, IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??
it was taking every molecule of self-restraint in your body not to blow your cover and strangle the man you call your "boyfriend." upon hearing his words, you could only scoff. this is what he's been doing? while he's been ignoring you, leaving you lonely and hurting, he's been out in the village, cheating on you and playing victim, making everyone think you were ignoring him.
you could only roll your eyes as you walked away before you were discovered. you were furious. you knew exactly how you wanted to approach this, thinking based only on your heated emotions, throwing all rational away. as you walked away, your hand fell from the collar around your neck, knowing lo'ak had heard enough. he was probably on the way to your parents' marui right now to tell them everything.
you walked to rotxo's family marui; glad to see the rest of his family is still out doing whatever they do. you could care less. he and anyone related to him could perish, poof into thin air, never to be seen again, and you wouldn't bat an eye. in fact, just the idea of it brings a smile to your face. a smile that instantly dropped when the flap of the marui was pushed aside, revealing your boyfriend and your brother.
"ao'nung, leave. i need to talk to rotxo," you said as soon as you made eye contact with your older brother. you knew he was clueless about what had happened because he was hanging out with his friends all day. supposedly, so was rotxo.
"sorry little sister, but you're going to have to leave. rotxo and i are–"
"AO' GET THE FUCK OUT!" you screamed at your brother, eyes falling to the floor, knowing he wasn't the target of rage, so you probably shouldn't be treating him like this.
your brother was surprised you raised your voice at him but listened anyway, knowing that this wasn't his problem and he honestly didn't care about your relationship as long as rotxo treated you right. and to his knowledge, his best friend is treating you right. rotxo, you told your brother that it was you shutting him out, so ao'nung just assumed this would be another one of those 'irrational arguments' that rotxo always tells him about.
watching your brothers back retreating toward your home, you turned your attention to the man of the fucking hour.
"my best friend? are you serious right now, rotxo?" you asked him to get straight to the point.
rotxo rolled his eyes, groaning because he realized you knew he was cheating on you.
"y/n, don't be like this. my family will be home any minute–" you cut him off.
"i do not care. you are walking around telling people i shut you out? cheating on me? you are out here forcing me to put on a smile, fake happy, so your reputation doesn't get ruined, and you have the nerve to try and bring mine down with you? saying i'm leaving you in the dark. making yourself seem like the goddamn victim?! you're cheating on me, rotxo. FOR FUCKS SAKE." the english word that the sully children had taught you felt like the only word that could adequately convey your feelings.
"using the words that sully boy taught you, huh? you know you've been spending a lot of time with him. you're lucky the only rumor i spread was that you left me in the dark. be grateful that i'm not telling everyone how you've been spreading your legs for that freak." you gaped at his words. how did he know about how much you've been spending with lo'ak? of course, he's completely wrong about what you guys do but he's always busy with his friends, blowing you off, cheating, and not caring who you're with or what you're doing. regardless of how he knew or not, you and lo'ak were friends, and that's it.
"we are just friends. i would not even have to hang out with him if my own shitty boyfriend actually acted as if he fucking likes me. we hang out as all young na'vi do, free diving, ilu racing, sea shell collecting. things i've done with you, my siblings, and countless other friends, like the bitch you are cheating on me with, so why is it a problem when i do it with lo'ak? hmm, rotxo? what's your fucking problem? are you projecting? is that it?" you were blinded by your rage, not even realizing that you had approached your boyfriend, but it felt like your words weren't getting through to him. he still held this shitty condescending smirk on his face, and you were sick of it. so you pushed him with all the strength you had in your body. rotxo fell to the floor pretty hard, groaning in pain as he landed funny on his wrist.
"ah! ha–" rotxo graoned in pain as he gripped his wrist. his gaze met yours as he spoke again "look, she's finally snapped. what? are you going to go, run to your little demon blood? are you going to let him cheer you up like the little slut you are? might as well prepare yourself for tomorrow because when ao'nung asks me what we argued about, i'm telling him i found out you were cheating on me with that sully boy," rotxo stood from his place on the floor, holding a look you had never seen on him before. he walked towards you menacingly as you matched his pace, walking backward until your back made contact with the wall of his home. his hand came up to your neck, squeezing, not noticing that he had once again pressed the button on your collar so lo'ak could hear everything.
“y/n? what's wrong? what's going on?" you heard his voice in your earpiece but kept quiet, not wanting rotxo to know he was about to get caught.
"you're so easy, huh? playing hard to get for everyone in the village when really you just wanted to be a whore for a half-breed freak who has only brought problems and war to our home–" you pushed him off of you, running out his marui with your head down, not wanting him to see your tears as if he hadn't already.
as cruel as rotxo had been to you, he had never called you such degrading names like this.
as angry as you were, hearing someone you once loved say things like that to you felt like a bullet to the heart.
you ran to a hidden oasis within the forest line of awa'atlu. only you and rotxo knew of it, but recently you've found yourself coming here alone much more than you would come here with him.
falling to your knees in front of the river before you, you allowed the dam to break, letting all your pent-up emotions out. you couldn't help but cry to yourself. you hated life like this. you hated living a lie, not wanting to bare this pain anymore. you cried, sobbed, screamed, wailed, anything to get this hurt out of your heart.
rotxo had broken you. he had taken your pure, innocent heart and smashed it to pieces. no matter how much you tried to love and care for him, you realize he would never really love you. it was all just a ploy to get in with the olo'eyktan's daughter. he was just like every other stupid boy on this island. but you fell for him, and you hated the feeling.
and for him to cheat with your best friend, of all people? how could he? did he even love you?
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to say lo'ak was worried was the understatement of the fucking year. he was basically having a panic attack rampaging the island after he didn't find you in rotxo's marui when they arrived. lo'ak had come with his family and yours, everyone having heard the cruel words that rotxo had spat at you thanks to lo'aks communication device.
jake and neteyam personally held lo'ak back from killing the metkayina in front of him.
"YOU FUCKER! YOU CALL HER A WHORE WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STICKING YOUR DICK IN ANYTHING THAT HAS A FUCKING HOLE, YOU PUSSY–"
"lo'ak, that's enough," jake said, trying to restrain his youngest son.
"NO, HE'S RIGHT! DAD, LET ME GO! LET ME BEAT HIS ASS!" lo'ak looked over to see tonowari and another warrior holding ao'nung back, but the look on tonowari's face showed that he was seconds from ripping rotxo limb from limb for what he had said to his daughter.
that's when lo'ak noticed you weren't in the marui. pulling himself from his father and brother's restraints, he ran out, immediately going to all your favorite places on the island, trying to find you.
he searched the shallow reefs on the east side of the island. he visited the ilu pen on the south part of the island because that's where you kept your ilu. he checked the floral shoreline on the northwest part of the island, knowing that you loved getting all your flowers from there, whether it was for your hair, a top, or a gift for the new boy on the island.
lo'ak noticed a forest line near the floral shores, so he also decided to check within that area in case you were wandering around there.
walking through the forest area kind of reminded lo'ak of home. he had been reminiscing on the flora of his home when he heard what sounded like crying—very loud crying.
immediately arming himself, prepared to protect himself or someone else. lo'ak stepped into the clearing, seeing you kneeling over the stream, fists clenched into the ground beneath you as you let out the most heart-twisting cries he had ever heard.
you were crying so loud you hadn't even heard the forest boy approaching you. feeling arms engulfing you, you began to panic. whoever it was immediately tried to soothe your struggles, and much to your surprise, you listened. you felt warmth, security, and comfort. things you never felt around rotxo, at least, not anymore.
"mawey, y/n. mawey. try to match my breathing," it was a familiar voice, but with all the physical and emotional pain clouding your senses, you couldn't pinpoint who it was. regardless, you tried your best to match his breathing, your heavy breaths slowing to quiet sobs and whimpers. it felt like your heart was really breaking. this realization was painful. rotxo didn't love you. he was using you.
you just wanted to be loved, and rotxo made you feel that way for a while. but that was the problem; it only lasted a while. then everything went to shit, and you were left cold and alone while rotxo was out cheating on you and forcing you to fake a smile for everyone around you so that you wouldn't ruin his reputation.
your cries had died down, and you were resting within the hold of the person behind you. his hushed words of comfort hadn't stopped, praising you for controlling your breath as he soothingly rubbed your shoulders. when you calmed down enough, you turned to look at the source of your comfort. it was honestly one of the last people you expected it to be.
you would've thought your brother or sister would find this secret spot before the forest boy did.
"lo'ak, what are you doing here?" you asked him, trying to escape his grasp and wipe your tears at the same time. lo'ak was quick to grab hold of your hands, preventing you from moving away from him.
"mawey, y/n. just relax. i'm here for you, and you can cry all you want to, sevin. i am not going anywhere." his voice was so comforting as he pulled you back into his embrace. you just sighed as you felt another wave of tears coming to your eyes. so you cried it out, relieving every sob, scream, and cry you had ever kept in, and lo'ak stayed with you through it all. never once letting you go and never stopping his whispers of reassurance.
when your sobs died down again, you noticed he intertwined his fingers with yours. you hadn't noticed his hands before. you weren't aware, but your ears perked up a bit, and your tail started to rev to life a bit when you saw he had five fingers instead of four. you wordlessly detangled your hand from his, causing the boy's ears to fall flat to his head.
you noticed his hands. did you see him differently now? his thoughts started as a drizzle quickly forming into a hurricane, but when he felt both of your hands grab one of his pulling it closer to your swollen eyes so you could examine it better, he chuckled. he thought it was cute, seeing you fiddle with his fingers as your soft sniffles continued. if this was distraction enough to keep you from crying, then lo'ak would let you play with his hands 24/7.
you didn't know that lo'ak's hands were his biggest insecurity, so the way you played with them and looked at them with wonder and not worry made his heart swell. lo'ak had not thought his life would be turned upside down like this, being forced to move away from his home and learn new ways of life. he hated it. but willingly getting to know someone and maybe even starting to fall for her had to be the best thing on that list. lo'ak knew he liked you for a while but never made any advances as you were taken. even though he could've been treating you so much better.
he loved how your hands felt in his and how your smile brightened up an entire room. he loved how attuned to nature you were. you hadn't even realized the school of fish swimming around your ankles rested in the river before you. it was as if the animals were trying to comfort you, too, somehow being able to sense your distress.
“y/n. do not listen to him. he is nothing but a lowlife who derives pleasure from others' pain," lo'ak started ranting, not caring if you were listening. he just wanted to speak his mind. "you are beautiful, y/n. the most beautiful, strong, loving, kind, graceful na'vi i've ever had the chance to meet. if moving away from my home means i get to find a new home here, with you, i would fly, walk, jump, or crawl my way here a hundred times over. i would do anything to be with you properly. i want to heal you from that asshole's mistakes. i want to show you what it feels like to be loved. not because you are olo'eyktan's daughter. but because you are you."
his eyes remained focused on yours as he recited every word. but you could tell he wasn't speaking something memorized or forced; he was speaking from his heart. you could hear it, as if eywa herself was whispering it to you. but you were hurt. could you trust someone so soon?
almost as if he could read your thoughts, he spoke up again.
"i know your trust is weary right now, but let me prove it to you. i will court you properly, meet your parents officially, ask for their blessing, i–" lo'ak sighed, almost as if he didn't want to continue, but he did. "i'll even stop fighting with ao'nung." that got a laugh out of you.
"lo'ak, are you sure about that?" you asked, looking up at him through your tears, flashing the first genuine smile he had ever seen on you. he was amazed. if he thought your fake smile lit up a room, then your genuine smile could bring light to an entire clan.
"i would do whatever you want me to do, syulang. i just want to be with you. i want to love you if you'll have me. we can take things at your pace. i'm in no rush because, for you, i would wait forever," he yearned for you, waiting patiently to see if you'll accept him.
you couldn't find any reason not to. this boy had to have been sent to you by eywa. he was meant to be the remedy to heal your heart after this tragic breakup. you were crying, but they were tears of joy and relief. you were finally free. free to feel love. free to feel happy. free to be you.
in the heat of the moment, you felt something wiggling under the ground beneath your leg. looking down, you see a glow worm inching up your leg. most do not know, but since the metkayina spirit tree is underwater, these little glow worms come up from the sand or appear on or around you whenever eywa tries to give you a sign. they're the metkayina equivalent of a woodsprite.
you could only gasp at the sight of the tiny creature. so he really is eywa sent? you thought as you saw a glow worm crawling up lo'ak's shoulder. this caused you to laugh, seeing as he also noticed the glow worm on his shoulder and started to panic, trying to flick the bug off his shoulder without hurting it.
"kehe, don't do that," you said as you grabbed his hand to prevent him from hurting the poor thing. you carefully placed your hand in front of the glowworm, allowing it to crawl into your palm. you took lo'ak's hand in yours, facing his palm up to allow the glow worm to walk from your hand to his.
"what is this?" he asked as he brought his hand closer to his face turning it as the glow worm walked around.
"i've heard about omatikaya woodsprites from kiri. they are like that but for the reefs. they are sent from eywa, meant to be wordless messengers," you explained to the forest boy.
your forest boy.
lo'ak couldn't help but smile at you, processing the words you had said. as he spoke again, he held nothing but love in his eyes, "y/n, i see you. oel ngati kameie," he gently held your face in his hands to ensure you made eye contact with him as he said it to you. you cried even harder because rotxo had never said that to you. and you're glad he didn't because you wouldn't have been able to say this back,
"oel ngati kameie, forest boy."
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