#its actually making my brain hurt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yrsonpurpose · 3 months

Text

Out of all of the characters you've played, who do you think that Mary would approve of, for George?

#nicholas galitzine #rwrb #red white and royal blue #nicholasgalitzineedit #rwrbsource #userninz #chrissiewatts #usersteen #usernuria #userclara #usergayppl #mine*#well yes he is!#crumbs..................#wasn't expecting him to be speaking about henry #god the layers to all of this #its actually making my brain hurt #she probably doesnt know the book implications to this question lmfao #also this outfit is making me feel insane

380 notes · View notes

lovelyrotter · 23 days

Text

can we all remember to just say 'oh no thank you, i dont like that kind of food' but apply that logic and rules to shipping and letting other people ship again

#my t #dirkhal #yes im tagging this because thats what this is about #i see the start of another stupid fucking morality-based ship war in this tag and im not here for it #dirkhal is historically considered stridercest #using stridercest as an umbrella term #it doesnt mean the -cest part has to mean incest if you dont want it to. it can absolutely mean selfcest #davedavesprite is also concidered stridercest but its much more in line with dirkhal in that its selfcest. see the logic?#but like #can yall be fucking nice to your neighbours weve been here for a long time and havent been hurting anyone #if you can come to terms with the thought of dirkhal with hal/AR CANONICALLY being a brain clone of a 13y/o dirk #when we have no actual solid evidence to prove that he ages like dirk does in his physical body #then you can learn to share a fucking tag. because nothing in stridercest mirrors actual irl criminal or harmful activity #because its playing with dolls. we're all playing with our barbies and ponies here #and the problem with all of us trying to play w/ our barbies and ponies is that some very scared people see other ppl enjoying making ponie #kiss and they start screaming and trying to take all of our toys away when they dont actually have a monopoly on any of these toys. we shar #we share. that is what we do in fandom. theres an infinite amount of ways to interpret dirkhal #if you dont apply this logic to fans who enjoy things like game of thrones then dont do it here #take a step back and breath. we're all being normal. youre being a bad guest. please learn to share again. youre not being hurt #having a reaction to art is not actually Being Hurt

59 notes · View notes

skitskatdacat63 · 26 days

Text

Happy 5/14!!!!

Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work 😭 I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would

Anyways! Process!

Now I will explain all of them:

Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.

Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background 😔

2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.

The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.

The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?

In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.

I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.

Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.

#hahaha im more proud of what i wrote under the cut so make sure to read that!#im happy w the concept but the art hurt my brain so its not my best work i dont think #i also never draw kissing #so please take my token of actual shippy affection for once #VETTONSO DAY!!!!!!!!!! AAAAHH #man im glad i realized that last wk bcs i think i wouldve never recovered if i didnt draw smth for it #tho thsts why i think i kinda dont like this drawing 😭#the process was rly stressful to me bcs im like I HAVE TO FINISH THIS #its my national holiday and i must pay my dues 🤧🤧#but im happy abt the plotline of this all :)#sigh. when will vettonso truly stop missing and actually start kissing #i rly hope 005's art and mine works as some sort of sacrifice so we get pics of them together from imola #like PLEASE guys if theres literally one thing you could do for me. it would make my year. genuinely #i just need that shock again of japan 23. just the completely unexpected pictures #cmon lets have a meetup of aston failboys as they look upon the amr24 and commiserate #^ see exactly the point of this art. they have this bridging them together.#conflict that keeps them together and that they can relate to rather than dividing them #conflict is not man vs man anymore. it's man vs car 😔#f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #catie.art.#catie.rambling.txt

48 notes · View notes

hellomagicalsouls · 3 months

Text

i had a dream about Klaus and Five fighting then five brought up Klaus being a junkie and thennnnn

Klaus brought up how Five is the reason every bad thing has happened to him. five LITERALLY did it to himself.

nobody pushed him out the door to go attempt to jump into the future infact everyone tried to stop him because they called after him.

five literally made his life the way it is because he's a stubborn bitch who thought he knew better

i woke up @ 4am after this dream and haven't slept since

also he called Klaus a junkie who has no idea what it's like being alone but Klaus literally was on the streets for like 12 years so he probably understands better than anyone

cause five and Klaus both probably had no food and had to eat out of dumpsters and do things they absolutely didn't want to do in order to survive

dream verse has it out for me honestly

40 notes · View notes

b4kuch1n · 2 years

Photo

see, dearest, loving me did not save you. you scraped by just fine without. but it doesn’t hurt, does it?

#pokemon #swsh #professor sonia #gym leader nessa #aquaheartshipping #sonessa #hi. this is pre-dr.jones!sonia and callie!nessa btw #doesnt affect the piece much but I just want u to know #I love that potc made up the whole davy jones/calypso thing and I ate that shit up unquestioned #dont care it slaps it means everything to me now. next #litcherally used those vibes for like anything I can I just think that should be a thing more #but also! the original dr.jones!sonia joke has like seven extremely stupid layer that make it very dear to me #so Im not willing to let go yet. even tho dr. jones is now technically involved in a tentative thing I have on the side #along with the other two (gun haveman and the cloudwalker)#this is actually! kind of a color study again. but also I just really wanna draw the girls #I think Im just gonna spend october drawing critters and the kids in costumes. I need it #this is hopefully the first! I'll try to unclench my brain and let it do its stuff #now tho? I sleep #tomorrow I have a promising dinner to look forward to. and the next day? noodles #have a good weekend lads! doesnt hurt to have a bit of love on ur side

901 notes · View notes

astranauticus · 4 months

Text

(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)

you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscent reader #orv spoilers #orv #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #art i made #the first hyperlink is to the song on youtube the second one is to my translation btw #that caption was not an exaggeration i was deadass like walking back from class with my spotify on shuffle and kinda like #tuned back in to what was playing in my ears and just had a kinda. HOLD UP WAIT A FUCKIN SECOND #honestly the whole song is kinda yjh if you squint and like for what its worth literally the only reason this is tied to like #that scene from 269 specifically is bc i literally just read that part today so it was really fresh in my brain #god the process of making this was so strange too bc i did it in almost one sitting except i had a fuckin SPORTS EVENT of all things #in the evening so it was like. 3 hours straight of doing this 2 hours of playing sportsball of all things then another 3 hours of this #so now i am physically mentally AND emotionally drained! genuinely couldntve had a more exhausting consecutive 8 hours if i tried #btw fun fact in the spirit of like. making life easier for myself all of yjh's flashback frames or whatever are webtoon panel redraws #except for that last one obviously cuz the webtoon isnt there yet (which. wow the processing of drawing that was. very painful)#but its like. I AM THE WAY THAT I AM if given the chance to draw to my knowledge one of the most tragic moments from the story I WILL DO IT #ok looking back theres a bunch of editing errors but also i just. really need to go do my ACTUAL FUCKIN WORK LMAO #god my arm hurts #hmmm i might clean up that 10 scenario sketch later on. i kinda like how the wings turned out #and also kdj's dipshit expression.

22 notes · View notes

boxwinebaddie · 5 days

Note

Has Raven/Jersey ever broken a bone?

alright, *cracks knuckles*

this one goes out to sickfic princess ana and whumpwhiz rp.

*blows a kiss to the heavens bc they're angels* MWAH!

but aaaaany-knee-ways:

...it's interesting, actually.

( or at least, it is to me, darling. )

because of how he's written, you'd think probably think, 'oh, but nina! jerseykyle gets in all these fights. he's all big and tough and strong! he prolly breaks bones all the time!" and that's precisely IT, my dear!

jersey breaks bones;

he does not get his bones broken.

EVER.

and i suppose that's because he is a seasoned fighter. ergo, he knows how to throw a wicked punch, where exactly on your body it will hurt or humiliate you the most -- probably a combination of the two if he's feeling particularly pissed that day ( everyday ) -- how many times to do it, where you're vulnerable, sees everyone as a possible adversary and thus, weaponizes the moment he sees you, surveys you, sizes you up, indicates what kind of threat you are and…

Promptly Neutralizes You.

he takes all these precautions, runs all these tedious, elaborate tests and intense, premeditated processes of elimination ( literally ), not just because he does not like losing, which he doesn't...but because he literally can't. simply put: he does not know how to lose or get hit.

see, jersey does not cope with pain very well. mentally or physically. that's why he inflicts pain, because he is secretly scared of feeling it.

on the outside, he is a harsh, frightening, impenetrable, menacing thing covered in barbs and wires and armed heavily, because on the inside he is extremely fragile and should even the smallest chink in his armor form, his entire fierce façade will shatter into smithereens.

he does not like to get hurt, to feel weak, to feel unpleasant and horrible things, so he does everything in his power to be powerful so that he will never feel powerless. it's why he learned how to fight, it wasn't to hit people, it was to avoid being hit by other people. it was a defense mechanism because of how often he got bullied and how weak he constantly was from swimming out against the current of all his chronic illnesses. a lot of people would just let go of that short stick that life gave them and drown, but not kyle. not my baby. no, his life belongs to him. so he sharpened that stick into the shiv...

stuck it straight through the gut of life,

— and made god beg for HIS mercy.

but yes, it's all a perfectly placed show. because my boy, scary and frightening as he may be swinging those freckled fists of fury...

is a fucking WUSS.

who has not broken a lot of bones actually! not his anyways! because when he does lose a fight, he is a sore fucking loser indeed because he's suddenly hit with all this pain that he does not know how to endure or deal with and literally is such a baby and a princess, omg.

i /swear/ that WHOLE divorce whumpshot para and the one of him barfighting is him acting really tough and cool, but hes really like hooly shit, this sucks so fkn Bad, i hate this, i want my mOM!! :'(

riiiiiiiiiip, lmaooooo.

spoiler alert: jersey kyle is dainty and spoiled. he is a champion complainer and if gets a papercut...

you will hear about it.

trust.

conversely, however...lead singer ravenstan,

is very Quiet about pain.

ravenstan knows pain like the back of his hands, he, unfortunately, has had hands on him his entire life and where kyle learned to kick and claw and bite, stan just...internalized and endured all that pain.

he isn't brutal or vicious, he is kind and forgiving, he does not hurt things even if they are hurting him and has been hurt so much that being hurt is as easy as breathing to him…which is horrible because he has asthma and a lot of smoke-related respiratory damage.

but yeah, i actually ( god, i love you ravenstan ) want to scream because where jersey is hard outside and soft inside, raven is soft outside and hard inside and is extremely good at being hurt, ( a child weaned on pain thinks hurt is a comfort, rip ), will take pretty much anything you throw at him and because he literally does not want to inconvenience you...will not even indicate that he's hurt to you.

like he is very passionate about protecting and taking care of other people, but he does not care at all about himself or what happens to him, so if you're hurt, he is on his hands and knees, comforting you, placating you, doing whatever he can to help you...and he might have three bullets in his back, you wouldn't know until he started bleeding through his clothes and fell over. that man is a fucking TANK, guys.

the universe has tried to kill ravenstan...several tries.

( suicide tw, he has also tried a couple times </3 )

no such luck.

it helps that he actually has a surprising amount of off-hand medical knowledge because sharon transferred a lot of it onto him during stan's childhood when she was patching him up because he was a fkn disaster child who tracked mud and blood into her house 25/8, spent three days in a tree and took a hockey puck to the face.

i genuinely think that a large part of why stan was able to survive and endure a lot of the horrors he had was because sharon scolding him in spanish and teaching him stuff literally saved his fucking life.

but yeah, ravenstan is my selfless, accident prone king. he is such a mess, pilots his body so carelessly that it is legitimately frightening. he is constantly covered in bruises he doesn't remember getting, scratches he didn't even notice, does dumb shit and gets hurt and like literally can’t tell he's hurt until he is like abt to pass out.

tldr: rave gets hurt often and has broken a lot of bones.

usually because he's doing stupid, heroic shit.

for example, i am not sure how it got broken, i like to think it was at a concert or an event and he SAVED SOMEONE from something falling or what have you and broke the fuck out of his arm. so his arm was in a cast ( i need it to be hot pink ) and he was super bummed out and felt hella bad because he had a meet and greet and couldn't sign autographs so he just let everyone else...

give him Their autograph instead.

so no one got a personally signed picture of raven of crimson dawn, but much cooler, imo, was that they all personally signed his cast.

my eyes are leaking, lmao. branch in my eyeeee. ;-;

gods...sweet...sweet angel. uGh.

THIS IS SO LONG, BUT I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION! idk why i got so invested in this, omg, but thank you for asking and being curious and thank you all for being so lovely and asking me things. it means a lot to me that you care and know i adore you.

-uncle nina, jerseykyle inflictor of angst pain

( and major wuss ) >.>

#sorry idk why i just decided to go the hell off #i hope this makes sense #can u tell my writer girl brain likes to make u think something #and then do the opposite #or like have my love interests foil each other #and do opposites attract things #idk its very delicious to me i'm sorry i hope it tastes good to you i hope this was the answer that you wanted haha #but no believe it or not baby...jerseykyle do not be getting hurt because he really cant like he is fucking BABY #he is so baby like in my para he is being such a baby like if he gets a splinter he is going to be so annoying about it #but sweet ravenstanley marsh is always hurt and autopilots hurt and so he doesnt fear pain bc he just...is pain idk #and is so clumsy goddamn like oh my god that man is always getting hurt kyle is actually constantly fussing over him #and he is like i am fine i am good like stan u have to take your inhaler and ur meds and you didnt tie ur freaking docs #and u almost ate shit n cracked ur head open on the cabinet #ravenstan vc like BUT DID I DIE!!! BUT DID I DIE THO #smhhhhhhh everyone signing his cast was v cute tho i love him like he really is the peoples punk rock prince hes a qt #idk one day ill figure out sharon's backstory one day but stan did inherit all his gentle healing energies from her ily rm!sharon

8 notes · View notes

bacchuschucklefuck · 2 days

Text

the boy-but-not-that-way-ism of riz gukgak send tweet

#not art #have been chipping away at a more... proper? so to say. piece of the kids for keepsake. and since its of them at the beach Im rotating #gender stuff in brain again. riz and gorgug ping a lot of the like funny gender stuff in my brain #very specifically adjacent to cultural understanding of it all... like I did say I do think riz has a gender and it can be #translated to ''man'' in solesian understanding but also that boy has close to no self awareness nor does he want to #he grew up as ''goblin'' before ''boy'' and it's kinda how he perceives himself. got a gender but doesn't wanna do much with it #kinda imagining him seeing his grandparents again and realizing that there's a gap there between himself and his grandpa too #and sitting with that for a bit. not for long that kid doesnt do that but for just a little bit #man I truly really do love that riz is aroace. my boy of the unquantifiable unimportant margins....#gorgug though is 100% trans lmao. there's a kinda distance to his own body in how he acts #that's kinda common in ''mad scientist'' characters? (or maybe my perspective's just skewed due to willow jenkins lmao)#kid spent the first two seasons fitting himself in places he Should be able to fit. and s3 is pretty much all about him Making New Spaces #thing is despite looking ardently for like. the reason Why he can't fit in in the first season I think gorgug really does #love his gnome parents and love being their child. and its confusing and tough to have to learn why something you love still hurts you #he wants it to not. he wants to make sense. and then it does and it changes nothing really #until he actively makes choices based on what he's learned. like. damn idk how to word it but #just like the ability to say ''actually this Is my life what are u gonna do? stop me from living it?'' is a powerful force #its rly fun to look at these two guys in these contexts thats like #they will never win the gender game just by virtue of being who they are. it's not designed for folks like them to win #but riz would simply not play and gorgug would design his Own game he's the champion of. and I think that rules

14 notes · View notes

ladyintree · 30 days

Text

”don’t make me convince you to let me help you” is still one of the hardest lines for anyone to say to tai thank you

#oh fuck you dude dont make me convince you to let me help you you know im not letting you leave here like this so #at least you could have the decency to actually ask for my help #i killed my fucking dog van my wife is in the hospital im losing my fucking mind and im terrified! like all the way #like i havent been SINCE.... i cant ask you for your help cause i dont want to hurt any more of the people i love!#scenes memorized in my silly brain.#this post had a purpose but im too lazy to say anything other than i love that line so bad. its such a good read on tai

6 notes · View notes

alltimewhat · 8 months

Text

being a schizophrenic th fan genuinely fucking sucks more than anything ever

#the way the Entire fanbase treats someone who is (supposedly) schizophrenic is fucking exhausting #TO BE CLEAR: i dont view it as like. an excuse for actions etc etc #but the fact that i feel the need to clarify that says enough about the way the fanbase acts about it #no a schizospec diagnosis (if thats what it even is) does not excuse grooming kids. believe it or fucking not.#and it also doesnt make someone inhuman or impossible to communicate with #and also you dont have to “save” or “fix” a grown man who needs an actual real world support system #that DOESNT JUST EXCUSE HIS ACTIONS (matt)#and ESPECIALLY you dont have to brute force send messages to him through weird and unusual channels that would like #very easily be seen as fucking threatening and scary to a schizospec person. if i had an account and a stranger was fucking #uploading shit to my account through a loophole to send me a message i would be freaking the fuck out #it would absolutely induce an episode #it just astounds me like. how a fanbase that is full of people who are like. autistic adhd etc etc. just absolutely refuses to treat #schizophrenia with respect or the care it deserves #also its even more frustrating seeing another schizospec person ALSO treating him like a zoo animal+studying him like a lab rat #just ignore the fucking guy block his account stop giving hiim attention stop talking about him #he uses the attention you give him to do the shit he does that ends up hurting people #can you people just acknowledge schizospecs as human and also use your fucking brain and stop interacting

7 notes · View notes

andromeda3116 · 11 months

Text

look, there are definitely aspects of adhd that are useful, or at least fun (tell me that getting into a hyperfocus groove - no matter how ultimately rough the "waking up from it and realizing that seven hours have passed and it's 3AM" part may be - isn't enjoyable at the time), but most of it just sucks and listen

the "rejection sensitivity dysphoria" part might be the worst

#it's definitely the most embarrassing #like i cannot take it when people don't like me and say bad things to me and so i structure most of my personality to arrange things #so people don't hurt me #and when they do hurt me i react like a kicked puppy and that just makes everything worse #i mean. jesus. i want to tell myself ''act like a fucking adult and take the fucking hit'' but my body reacts on its own #it's like it skips my conscious brain and screeches right into panic no matter how hard i mentally try to calm it #like i'm not actually irrational! my higher-level thinking is being *very* rational! it's the stuff underneath that's freaking tf out!#i know the ''it's not me it's my shit brain'' thing is a weak excuse but like. i am actively TRYING not to react this way #i am actively TRYING to calm that part of me and measure my reactions #but the body-level panic and the deep-rooted irrational childish sense of ''they all hate me now they think i'm crazy''#grips me by the throat #it's beneath my conscious thought and refuses to be constrained by it #i am not actually thinking - in so many words - ''they all hate me now''#my gut is just feeling it and tying itself into knots around my nerves and i am trying to calm it down but nothing seems to work #...*sigh*#add this post and these tags to the list of ''things to discuss with my therapist''

12 notes · View notes

caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

Text

Events of last night:

Me: *crying*

My girlfriend: what's wrong?? :(

Me: *struggling to form words* intrusive thoughts are bad... I don't want to talk about them because then I'm scared that they're true and you might think I'm awful

My girlfriend: ah I actually get that. I have those a lot. It doesn't mean anything though, intrusive thoughts are just like dreams. Like the things you do in them aren't really things you want to do, it's just stuff your brain comes up with.

#we then very heavily related over having the same intrusive thoughts and now I'm suspicious #thinking about when i told her i might have ocd and she said i didnt #and starting to feel like thats because... what if we both have ocd #it seems like she was basing her entire knowledge of conditions on people shes known with those conditions. which makes sense #but the person/ people with ocd had severe cleaning compulsions and the like #where as me and her obsess much more over morality #like its very clear we think about it so much. and idk what to do with that information #we both feel like the intrusive thoughts and obsessive ruminating are the only things that keep is from being bad people #or that prevent us from being bad people i guess. idk why that wording is just slightly more accurate #like people who dont think about these things (apparently all 'normal' people since this could be *an actual disorder*)#they're not constantly analyzing. trying to be aware. asking themselves questions about their true nature. judging those answers #theyre not really doing that with other people either. of course i could be wrong since im very clearly not a normal person.#but this is what i mean! im speculating about other people and acknowledging the ways i could be wrong and just trying to figure it all out #but it seems like no one does that and it doesnt *make them* bad people. it just doesn't prevent them from that happening either #like theyre just as likely to hurt people as the 'bad' person thats thinking the same way they are #and i cant ever be comfortable with me living that reality even when *this reality* is a waking nightmare #sure im tearing my skin off (good ole skin picking disorder) when im thinking about these things. sure im crying. sure i can't sleep.#sure it makes me feel like im constantly a horrible person and need to attone for everything ive done and havent done #sure. but then i turn around and say its helping me. because why else would my brain torture me? isnt it always about protecting me?#i don't know. all i know is who i dont want to be and what i dont want. so that exactly what my brain convinces me is real #i guess what it kinda comes to do is #would you rather live a reality where everything around you is superficial. your thoughts behaviors and thoughts. your reactions #all of them are things youre never aware of. you could be hurting people or you could be helping themm #you could even be hurting yourself. but you would never know. its a comfortable reality that youre never really aware of #OR would you rather live a reality aware of all those things. seeking answers and sometimes finding them.#trying your hardest to help others and better yourself and fix the broken things in this world #your reality is one where you recognize every threat that no one else does and it kills you inside because they wont always listen #theyre comfortable and you're stuck in a reality where you try and try and try but even when you succeed #your brain forms its own reality. a metaphorical jail. where you never get to experience the reality you fought so hard for #instead you exist in this sort of purgatory where you live out your own worst fears and the worst ways you could have failed

38 notes · View notes

insert-neologism · 4 months

Text

i am. so normal abt natural habitats. SO normal (<- clearly Not Well)

#i cried 3 times #does NOT happen ofteb #(to be clear it's abt the fic. on ao3. by woodenpicador)#and im not even half in #crying screaming throwing up #heavens sake there's so much to say abt it and nothing at all #dreaming abt that i tell yall #only not livebogging it bc most of the time im reading where i dont have WiFi soo #BUT SERIOUSLY it's always in my mind like im thinking abiut nothing? wrong. Im thinking abt woman who makes bad decisions I and II #and like all of them it has not left my mind. In days #it's like a splinter that's fucking lodged into my brain only it doesnt hurt (mostly)#and I can NOONE of my irl friends GOD #js if it was a book id buy it fr #mitos incredible life #more or less incredible how am I gonna focus on anything else #yellowjackets #ig #EVERYONE READ IT (many many ppl read it but more should read it definitely it's like evedthuf)#anyways hi if youre still heree i dont actually think anybodys gonna read all of this. but as they say #'its not truly ur public trashcan on which u display the stuff u like best without fucking lamenting or somtheing #verbs suck

2 notes · View notes

ionianwanderer · 1 year

Text

I wanna talk about how Yasuo process emotions both as a child and how that has translated to him as an adult. In youth, processing "bigger" emotions was something that he never quite had a chance to form a healthy relationship with. Within the circumstances of his birth and their small village immediately turning on his very existence for something out of his control (being illegitamate), it forced him at a young age to build up a barrier.

If other Navori children would parrot what their parents said to them about him or his mother, its obviously upsetting to anyone regardless of their age. But for this to be coming from peers, especially of it being no thought of their own, struck nerves in him like no other. A lot of the time he would just cry it out where he wasn't seen: out of both anger and frustration... and part genuine distress.

It's at a point where he learns its either easier to just bottle that shit up or fight about. So he does both. The bottling up is what he takes away from Yone, but the fighting-- that is his and his alone. Days where he comes back home covered in scrapes and cuts, bruises on his arms unmoving only to cry in a secluded spot behind their home were common place. And he does it for years, even into young adulthood. Something his brother does notice, but learns in the end is futile to try and turn him away from despite the amount of effort he gives to make Yasuo a better kid.

Not only does the fighting become a lot easier to handle than working through his own emotions. Now bottling it all up... eventually when that explodes in his face it manifests once again as crying. Its STILL something he does into adulthood. Be it he's angry, sad, or sometimes even overwhelmingly happy: he'll still cry about it but out of the view of prying eyes, or rather... try to. But that angry cry, the blind rage that comes from it-- god speed.

But yeah, emotionally stunted in a way that he needs to relearn how to work through his feelings. Runs in the family, once again.

#hc;#youth;#{ me writing essays in my tags when i answer asks is sometimes the death of me bc then i dont put that shit into actual posts for hcs lol }#{ me writing this at the crack of ass bro. good morning everyone do u want tragedy }#{ i like. writing abt how baby yasuo become this asshole. even tho its kinda fbshfhHFHH hurts my own feelings }#{ my brain going 700 mph sl i hope this makes sense LMAO }#{ became* not become fuck dhahd }

9 notes · View notes

astranauticus · 4 months

Text

oh i absolutely gave myself way too much of a workload this semester but holy shit i finally have like... about 80% of that orv changgwi animatic down in concept and i am. cartoon villain cackling

#asto speaks #when (yes WHEN not IF) i get it done its gonna hurt so bad #i mean i dont think it'll get done *soon* cuz god my workload this semester is. something #but if my math isnt wrong the webtoon is only gonna get to chapter 188 (where i plan to cover up to in the animatic) in like june so #ive got time?? kinda?? anyway i literally *cannot* stop thinking about this fucking idea so mark my words i will get it done #also yes its going to hurt me to make too because i havent ever done an animatic for a full song yet #changgwi is one of those songs thats kinda impossible to split up idk #also because my BEST ideas are at exactly the beginning and ending of the song. convenient.#the ending was like my one major concern when i first thought of this idea actually cuz the part of the song that #originally made me think of orv was that second (third?) verse of like the spirit telling the story of its own death that felt very yjh idk #but i just had. no idea what to do with the second half of the song #but then i read the novel and chapter 188 hit me in the back of the head with a baseball bat #and now that ending might be my favourite part of the whole project #>:)#big massive sorry to all my rwd mutuals btw i know there was a bit where i kept talking about making another rwd animatic #i do still have that sitting in my brain just cuz ive already animated a few segments of the song #i just dont reaaally have a full plan for the whole thing exactly so #by this point im just seeing if we get any DX-TR lore in s5 that might inspire me idk #project 2 electric boogaloo #stay tuned idk i have a bit of a proof of concept i plan to make this/next week #its funny actually cuz i got introduced to this song through an arknights animatic i saw on bb and i spent #honestly an embarrassing amount of time worrying if some of the ideas i have in my plan were just like. subconsciously stolen from that one #but i was like procrastinating schoolwork today and trying to plan out some stuff and just #went and looked up every changgwi animatic on bilibili i could find #and turns out the stuff i was worried id been stealing are honestly just like. common among *all* the stuff ive seen that use that song?#like cuz the official lyric video for the song is just so. stylistically *striking* a lot of genetic material from that just makes its way #into everything people make using that song like at this point the monochrome red colour scheme and like #ending on a backwards timelapse (?) through the vid is basically like scenes a faire for any changgwi animatic LMAO

5 notes · View notes

fagtainsparklez · 1 year

Note

i think you should add the fact that all the eggs are siblings

u people want me dead

#muse talk #anon #ITS IMPLIED OKAY 😭#this is just their adoptive lines obviously they all have the same dragon mom #and are not actually biologically related to like. philza minecraft #i just do NOT want to deal with that. figuring that out is for my other family tree #this is quick simple easy and most importantly will NOT make my brain hurt trying to put it together #i am on vacation w this one

18 notes · View notes