Dirty Valentine by Richard Siken

while were on the topic, deere is so spideypool coded. jake is the one who's good at a little bit of everything, a bit of an asshole and an intense flirt, tried to be a good guy and it backfired a little so he's just doing his own thing, has intense abandonment issues and doesn't like getting close to people. jeremys the tired college kid who's just trying to get through life, has a hero complex, just kind of needs a nap, is a sarcastic little shit when he needs to be, and overall is just a fucking nerd

i never understood the peter and harry ship because

1. i hate the lowkey unwritten rule in fandom that every close friendship has to be romantic, like, every time i see a close friendship being represented in fandom there's like 50 people who ship them breathing down my neck and yeah that's fandom stuff in general but i am. get this, allowed to not like it and express my opinions on it on the grounds of my own blog, yes i can just block the tags and move on, but i still *want* to talk about it, i find the topic interesting and yes, it is okay to find things you don't like interesting and no, that Does Not Make You A Masochist the fact that i have to clarify this is sad (though there are some exceptions, some same-sex friendships are VERY queer coded, like, a friend of mine told me about these two characters from lord of the rings that are SUPER gay)

2. in almost every adaptation of spider-man harry's a snivelling and cowardly bastard that has little to no time to actually bond with peter and be his friend, with every version of harry that's an absolute chad and a fun person to hang out with, (TNAS harry, ultimate harry, ultimate cartoon harry, even 2017 harry) there's like 20 more that show up that are so poorly developed as peter's best friend because the writers want him to be the green goblin so badly that he either acts like a dick from the start or it's not long before he *starts* acting like a dick, or he barely even hangs out with peter and you can't even really believe that they're friends (raimi harry, TASM harry, spectacular harry, 90s cartoon harry)

yes i mentioned an equal amount for both sides but the thing is: i see people shipping parksborn in the raimi trilogy, TASM, 2017, and spectacular primarily, and i just. really don't see it

harry's a dickhead for 93% of the raimi trilogy, TASM harry pretty much only starts talking to peter again so he can find a way to cure his illness and then becomes the green goblin and hates peter, and spectacular doesn't have peter and harry being friends long enough before they start trying to swindle us with the green goblin ruse and have him act like a dick because he's doing drugs, and then the love triangle thing happens and he's dating gwen seemingly just because he wants the approval of his father and uses his father's "death" to keep gwen in a relationship with him (i get it's because he doesnt want anyone else to leave him BUT THAT IS STILL MANIPULATION)

like, THIS is the guy you want peter to shack up with???

i just don't get it

i'd rather have peter date deadpool than that, and i have a strong disliking for spideypool

No you definitely got that Tone right!! Cause I also hate that in movies! Like NO! NO IT CAN’T MOVE ON TO THERAPY THAT WILL HELP!! But that scene was so nice and sweet! Also your Omega Steve stuff looks good but who is this Billy? And why is he here? Haven’t really watched the show, only clips!

Billy is Billy Hargrove who's the baddie in Season 3 (and sort of season 2?)

And like, don't get me started on who he is as a character because I will write for DAYS about all the complexities of a queer coded character who is canonically ab*sed by his dad in terrible ways and is clearly projecting his own issues into his relationship with his step sister and then zeroes in on Steve as the object of his anger (re: desire because its not even a stretch to see the homoeroticism in their scenes) but at the last minute is saved by honestly, a gentle touch from maybe the only person in his life who's ever looked at him and saw the scared little boy he used to be and not the actual monster he turned into--

DON'T GET ME STARTED BECAUSE I WILL WRITE FOR DAYS ABOUT IT!

What you mostly need to know is that when I started watching Stranger Things last year, the first time Billy Hargrove showed up on screen I went "oh MY" and then promptly turned off the TV and avoided the show for another week because I have never been so quickly and embarrassingly flustered by a guy (fictional or otherwise) in my LIFE.

When I finally got over being fucking weird about the character, I tried watching again and got to this part:

And had a complete crisis. Like actually had to go "huh, do I like... men?"

But that crisis wasn't as bad as the one I had in Season Three with this scene:

So. Yeah. Ummmm flustered and that's usually a reaction I save for like, Charlize Theron??

Anyway, beyond him being sort of compromisingly good looking, he's also an intensely fascinating character and has the sort of trauma and potential for redemption that-- as I writer-- I'm practically feral for. Complicated characters are so fun to write about and then when you take Billy's literally practically PRIMAL personality and put him in Omegaverse with an Omega that yes, might be a Mother Hen but who's also ready to Commit A Homicide to save the people he loves?? ITS AMAZING.

Watch like, a tiktok or youtube highlight thing re: Billy Hargrove, then do a little exploring in the Harringrove tag and then read my fic.

PLUS homeboy looks like a biter and we all know how I feel about biting (HOLLA).

BillySteve is now my guilty pleasure ship. They will be horny and feral and the sort of sweet that hurts your heart and the sort of angst that leaves you bleeding and the sort of happily ever afters that they have to fight tooth and nail for which makes that ride off into the sunset so so so amazing.

They remind me of my Spideypool honestly. It's not healthy, it's frustrating, they fight, one of them is violent and the other is a sass master, there's no reason why they work and also EVERY reason why they work and like hey.

Billy and Steve are extremely pretty and that's just NICE okay? I think it's nice for me to have pretty boys to write about.

📓😌

the fic that comes to mind rn is this spideypool fanfic i thought up sometime in the past months

basically, peter is doing an internship at a lab, in hopes of finding a job and not having to depend on wade for money. wade is still working his mercenary stuff since even if killing people is against peters moral code, they came to the agreement that wade can kill people only if they have done really bad things (ie dont kill innocents or people that would just get a fine or something)

the story takes place during the end of one of peters intern days, where he talks on the phone with wade while they bicker about dinner. peter tells wade he will stay just a tad overtime because hes left an experiment incomplete and it pains him to leave it until monday (its like friday).

someone else comes to inform peter to lock up after he is done, with all the fancy passwords and lock systems and stuff, and to make sure noone else is left behind before locking

inside the labs are two more people, a woman around 30 and a suspicious guy that peter only got a glance of. the lights go out suddenly and the woman and peter walk out of their respective labs to see what the issue is. the doors are locked, and peter and the woman assume someone was too lazy to check and locked up after himself.

the fire alarm goes out and a small explosion happens right at the feet of the woman, who jumps in terror and almost falls to the now rapidly flaming ground. peter takes a hold of her and sticks himself to the ceiling, having to reveal his identity to her in order to both get out safely. the woman freaks but vows to keep his identity secret.

after a long minute of peter shedding his coat and finding his mask, he tells the woman a story to make up to any reporters about peter disappearing before her even though they were last seen on the same floor. he breaks open a window with a forceful swing and gets out from the flaming building just as red lights from the fire department trucks stop outside. he lets her go carefully with the help of his webs and quickly makes way for the roof of a building to see if he can spot the source of fire.

as soon as he reaches the ledge he gets hit by [unspecified object] and falls one too many floors before he webs onto a random window and barely makes it before hitting the ground.

[que a very dramatic fight with the sus guy from before where he evily monologues his lifes struggles and his personal vendetta against peter]

in the meantime wade while zapping through channels he comes across a news report that is currently live showing the building peter interns in on fire and occasionally crashes and a flying red object followed by a bulky gray one and it takes approximately 0.5 seconds to realise that peter got himself in trouble.

so wade goes on this super mission to save peters ass because there could be a lot of contributors that could result in peter losing this fight with a bad guy.

cue wade climbing into and out of the subway and then stealthily stealing the first bike he sees in order to make it closer to the battle, which now is closer to the bridge and by the river.

when he gets there peter is pretty fucked up from the fight, and the other guy looks beat but not as much as he could be, so wade intervenes with the magic of martial arts, regeneration and guns and kills the dude.

meanwhile before being tackled the dude just throws peter towards the river because spiders+water=not good and also cause peter can barely walk so swimming to stay afloat was out of the question.

unfortunately when peter tries to web himself to the bridge to stay above water he catches on one of those huge posters that are made of plastic and indestructible material somehow (i dont remember what that fabric is called if you cant tell but think of the scene in homecoming where peter falls in a lake pool thing) which falls on him and drops him underwater, but peter has enough cognitive function left to web himself to an actual bridge part, hoping to maybe avoid sinking too deep because of that banner thing.

wade kills the guy (yay) and with that zipline gun thing with the grappling hook at the end hoists the rope on the bridge and grabs peter from out of the water before a fatal intake of water makes it in his body and lands them both ashore a lighthouse island (kind of like in venom 1 where venom takes eddie to one)

while theyre ashore peter goes through quite the traumatic coughing fit, retching and gagging and all those nice things all while wade is there, comforting him and holding on to him tighter when he starts crying

then some more comfort and nurse!wade come in to play and the end.

Spiderman: Deadpool, I need you to do this!

Deadpool: No. It's against my moral compass.

Spiderman: YOUR FUCKING MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Whoops! Wrong Way 4/8

Summary: Peter has been living at Avengers Tower for 2 years, known to the workers and Avengers as Peter Parker-Stark-Rogers.  When his teacher announces that they're going on a field trip to Avengers Tower, or SI,  he's going to have to attempt to survive a day of embarrassment and keeping a secret identity.

Words: 1558

The door slides open to reveal a labyrinth of interns and tables of work behind a large glass panel and doorway. The class spreads out along the glass to catch a glimpse of what's happening in the labs. Behind them, Mars is casually explaining things that go on in the lab and probably hoping someone will ask him what he does in the lab or about his project. Ned watches from beside him enthusiastically. Usually he just stays up with Peter in the higher-up labs or even Peter, Tony, and Bruce's personal labs so this is a new experience for him.

Peter peers through and notices two of the interns he knows more than some of the others, Alex and Emily, looking over a computer stressed and confused. The two of them look over and notice the group of kids at the glass door and then, more importantly, notice Peter. Emily perks up and grins, motioning for him to come over to them. He shakes his head and mouths the words "field trip" to them. She visibly groans and then argues with Alex for a second before Alex trudges over to the door and opens it to talk to the group. "Hey guys, my name is Alex. I work here in the intern labs with my friend Emily over there. She's annoying, but I'm glad you guys could come check this out. I also was wondering, Mars and Peter's teacher, if it's okay if Peter and Ned come and help me and Emily for a second. We've been stuck on this code for a few hours and we just can't seem to figure it out. Ned's a genius, so is Peter and he often comes and helps in the intern labs so it's completely normal."

Mars shrugs and looks to Mr. Harrington who stutters for a second before nodding an okay to Peter and Ned. They grin and follow into the labs over to Emily. She grins and high-fives Alex before explaining the problem to the two and stepping back for them to have a look at it.

From behind the glass, the tour group can see Peter and Ned discussing something before Ned points to something in the code, causing Peter to nod understandingly and start talking about something else. Finally, they make a few changes to the code and turn to explain it to Emily and Alex who nod along and offer their thanks. Alex verbally and Emily physically who basically attacks the two with hugs of gratitude before shooing them back to the tour group and waving.

The door opens again as Peter and Ned walk in causing the noise from inside the lab to become audible once more before the door closes and they are returned to normal silence from the sound-canceling glass. Peter smiles awkwardly at the crowd and Ned just returns to staring out at the interns. The group stays silent for a few moments before erupting with questions for Peter and Ned. Most of them are how they were able to do that, what the fix was, how they know the interns, and what they told them. Peter hastily tries to explain what had happened before Flash interrupts him, "shut it Parker. We all know you just paid them to make yourself look like you work here. Same thing how you paid the security downstairs to give you and your nerd friends cool badges to look cool in front of us."

He was smart enough to not thoroughly insult Peter in front of Mars, but still was dim-witted enough to insult him at all. Mars glared at Flash and looked like he was about to say something but Peter gave him a glare and shook his head, giving him a pleading look to not mention it. He glanced quickly back at Mr. Harrington, who was doing nothing to interfere, and back to Peter before mouthing "we'll talk later." and continuing with his tour talk. "Alright guys, not much to see here because it's super crowded and hectic. However, later we'll go up to the higher up intern labs where you can go in and talk with the interns, and there's a chance of Bruce Banner showing up. However, don't get your hopes up because he rarely makes an appearance there. Next up, we have lunch! There's an amazing cafeteria here and you guys are going to love it so, back to the elevator we go!" he announces.

Peter almost laughs at the chance of Bruce not showing up. If Tony puts him up to it with some blackmail, Bruce will definitely be there. Although, Bruce is sure not to embarrass him too much. More like try to convince his classmates that he actually worked there which might work to Peter's favor. However, Peter still wasn't sure who else was planning on making an appearance during the field trip and they were still barely half way through. With barely any appearances so far, he was definitely in for a roller coaster of embarrassment within the next few hours.

On the ride up Mars explains how the cafeteria is set up in a circle. Different restaurants and good stalls line the outside and there are seats and tables in the inner parts of the circle. He also tells them that they have 30 minutes for lunch and that their passes will allow them to get any type and amount of food they want. This excites the entire class as the elevator opens to reveal the cast amount of options for good. Most of the students wander sound a bit first before making a decision. Peter, on the other hand, marches MJ, Ned, and himself straight over to Delmar's for "the best sandwiches in the world".

They sit down at a table away from the elevator and begin enjoying their food. Shortly after, they hear the elevator ding and FRIDAY announce to the people on the elevator that they've arrived at the cafeteria. Peter hears a familiar voice thanking FRIDAY. He immediately turns around to make sure it's actually who he thinks it is... Wade Wilson.

They make eye contact and Wade immediately grins and runs over to Peter shouting "BabyBoy!" Ned and MJ laugh as Wade picks up his boyfriend and swings him around in a circle before placing him down and continuing to hug him. "Hey Petey, I missed you!"

"Babe, you literally just saw me the other day."

"Yeah but it feels like it's been forever!"

Peter pulls away from their hug only to realize that everyone is now staring at them, he begins blushing profusely and buries his head in Wade's shoulder. He jumps up and wraps his legs around Wade's waist, allowing for his boyfriend to sit down as if having Peter wrapped around his body is a completely normal thing. "So, Ned. MJ. How's it going?" Wade asks.

MJ smiles at their encounter, "lovely. Good to see you again Wade."

"Ned, still a bit starstruck from the fact that he's just met the Deadpool, manages to stutter out a hello before returning to eating his food. Flash finally decides to question what's happening but in a more... not-so-nice Flash way, "No wonder they're dating. Of course Peter would only be able to get a scarred and deformed boyfriend. But... who the fuck are you?"

Frick. He shouldn't have said that. Flash you idiot. Can you just keep your mouth closed for once? Peter wonders.

Wade stands up immediately, turning to face Flash who now looks like he is starting to regret what he said. Wade gently tries to pull Peter off of him so he can fight the idiot who dared to insult him and his boyfriend. Instead, Peter desperately clings to Wade, knowing that he won't be able to unalive Flash if he stays there. "Wade, please don't kill him. That's illegal and Tony will get mad after having to deal with the press again."

"Who cares if he gets mad, the idiot just insulted you. I can't not do anything."

"Please, for me?"

"Can't I unalive him a little bit?"

"No." Peter states firmly.

Wade sighs before returning to glaring at Flash. He pulls out a dagger out of thin air and holds it to Flash's neck with one hand while supporting Peter with his other. "If you ever mess with him again, I will murder your entire family in front of you and then you. After I'll make the author write a gruesome, detailed chapter about it. Alright?"

Flash quickly nods, careful not to let the dagger touch his skin. When Wade puts it away, he runs back to his table of goons, shaking. Peter sighs and finally gets down, sitting next to his friends at the table. Wade sits down next to him after placing a kiss on the top of Peter's forehead. Peter blushes again, causing MJ to grin at the both of them. She had secretly been recording the entire thing and sent it to Shuri. Both girls shipped SpideyPool way before it was made a thing and they sent each other pictures of the couple being cute any time they could. Shuri quickly texts back "aww... they're so cute. 10 bucks Wade kills him ltr."

The room becomes silent again when a familiar voice calls out, "was that PDA I saw?"

Hey I love your stories and kept reading older ones for the whole weekend. Could you by any means if you have time write a fluffy get together story with either Jegulus or Spideypool? Maybe something from the fake exes prompt list that I cant find anymore? Thank you so much for all the cuteness you're delivering with your stories! ❤

You’re very welcome! Glad you like them and thanks for prompting me!

           Peter groaned internally as he noticed MJ making a beeline for him across campus. If there were less people around he would have made a quick getaway, but since there were endless amounts of people milling about, Peter was stuck.

           He knew what this was about before MJ even opened her mouth. They’d broken up over a year ago, and while MJ was happily dating a girl named Gwen from her Women’s Studies class, Peter had yet to move on. It wasn’t like he was still pining after MJ because their split had been amicable, since Peter was a bit busy with his first year at NYU and being Spider-man. It was hard to find time to meet anyone new and besides there was the pain of keeping his secret from someone.

           “Peter,” she said, plopping down across from him. “When was the last time you went out on a date?”

           Peter couldn’t help smiling despite himself. It was something he’d always liked about MJ, her blunt honest approach to things. “Come on, MJ,” he said, rolling his eyes.

           “Peter,” she said sternly, not giving him an inch to wiggle out of this conversation.

           Peter sighed heavily. “I went out on a date last night actually but nothing came of it, so…” Peter shrugged and buried his face in his chemistry book.

           “With who?” MJ asked, raising an eyebrow at him, putting a hand on his book and forcing him to lower it. 

           Peter scrambled for a minute to think of a name, any name to get her off his back. It shouldn’t have been so difficult to come up with someone believable. Instead he grabbed at the only name he could think of sitting in the dark recess of his mind. “It was Wade Wilson.”

           “Deadpool?” MJ said, her nose crinkling. “Seriously?”

           “What?” Peter asked defensively. Fuck, he should have just made up someone. This was going to get him into so much trouble. In the past few years, Peter and Wade had struck up something almost like a friendship. And although he’d never told anyone this, he’d spent an alarming amount of time thinking about the Merc in ways he probably shouldn’t have. Like Peter, it wasn’t like Wade’s suit left much up to the imagination and damn all those muscles. His shoulder to hip ratio was nearly as impressive as Captain America’s. And sure, Peter had seen what was under the mask and it wasn’t exactly pretty but it was fascinating in a way Peter couldn’t really explain.

           “I’m sorry, Peter, it’s just a little difficult to picture,” MJ said, chuckling. “Why didn’t thinks work out?”

           Peter hated himself for lying to her. Now his lies were snowballing and there was nothing he could do to stop it. All he could do was continue to tell fibs. “He, uh…he wanted to go a little faster than I did.”

           MJ frowned. “He didn’t take things too far, did he?”

           “What?” Peter asked, his jaw dropping when he realized what she was implying. “No, of course not!”

           “Okay, good,” MJ said, letting out a sigh of relief. “Why don’t we give him a call?”

           “No!” Peter said, shaking his head emphatically. “I don’t…I don’t want to embarrass myself any further than I probably already have.”

           MJ reached out and took Peter’s hand in hers. “Peter, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Now hand me your phone. I’m assuming you have his number?”

           “Yes,” Peter said dejectedly, handing over his phone to her, knowing better than to argue. She typed in the code from memory and Peter made a mental note to change his passcode. She scrolled through until she found Wade’s number.

           Please don’t pick up. Please don’t pick up, Peter silently prayed. The last thing he needed was Wade answering the phone and telling MJ he had no idea what she was talking about.

           “Baby boy!” Wade said, answering the phone after the third ring. Peter cringed as his stomach fell out his ass with dread. “This is a pleasant surprise!”

           MJ gave him a look at the pet name. Maybe she just didn’t know that was what Wade was like. “Actually this is his friend, MJ?”

           “Everything kosher?” Wade asked sounding slightly concerned. Peter was thankful for his super hearing so he could listen in on Wade’s side of the conversation.

           “Yeah,” MJ told him while grinning at Peter. “Peter’s fine. He told me you two went out on date last night.”

           Peter held his breath.

           “And what, you’d like all the details you saucy little minx?”

           Peter struggled to hide his complete and utter shock. Wade was actually playing along with this? Why? How?

           “Peter said it didn’t work out,” MJ informed him. “Because you were pushing him into a physical relationship.”

           “Oh, was that why he bolted?” Wade asked. Peter had to admire his performance. For a moment he actually believed they’d been on a date the night before too. “I would never have done anything my baby boy didn’t want.”

           “I’m glad to hear that,” MJ told him. “If you get a second chance please take good care of Peter, okay? I promise he’s worth the wait.”

           Peter felt himself blush furiously.

           “Oh, I’m well aware of that.”

           “Do you want to speak to Peter?”

           Peter waved his hands around signaling that no, he absolutely did not want to talk to Wade. Instead he had his phone pushed into his hands and with trepidation he brought it up to his ear. “Hi Wade.”

           “Petey, I’m not sure what just happened, but I’m pretty sure you owe me.”

           Peter rubbed his forehead. “Yeah, I think so too.” He risked a glance over at MJ who was nodding encouragingly at him.

           “My place tonight,” Wade said, the grin evident in his voice. “Eight O’clock. Wear something sexy. Just kidding, you look sexy in anything.”

           “Wade, I – “

           Before Peter could protest, Wade had hung up the phone. Peter closed his eyes and counted to ten before opening them again.

           “See!” MJ said, looking smug. “You get a second shot. No point in putting him in the exes pile after one lousy date. You have to give people a chance, Peter.”

           “Yeah,” Peter said, looking down at his phone and wondering how he’d ended up so utterly screwed.

                                                           ***

           Peter got to Wade’s apartment in the Bronx by 7:55. He figured he might as well be punctual since he couldn’t sit at home dreading this night for another single second. He rapped his knuckles on the door and waited.

           Deadpool opened the door and grinned. “Hi Petey,” he said, stepping back and letting Peter enter the apartment. The place was a fucking mess, bullets scattered around, empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, used cups on the coffee table. Wade Wilson, it seemed, lived like a god damn Ninja Turtle. 

           “Couldn’t manage to clean up a little?” Peter teased, crossing his arms over his chest.

           Wade shrugged. “Wasn’t sure you’d actually show.”

           Peter actually felt a bit bad about that. He knew Wade had asked him to hang out before and Peter had bailed on him several times. In his defense though, it was usually either school or Spider-man related. You just never knew when a bad guy was going to rob a bank or kidnap your Aunt.

           “I want to thank you for playing along today,” Peter told him, scratching his cheek nervously. “MJ means well but she has a tendency to overstep. It’s probably how she found out I was Spider-man so quick.”

           “No need to thank me, Petey,” Wade told him as he went around the room and started to clean up. “You’d do the same for me if any of my exes were butting into my personal life. The next time Nathan shows his ugly mug in this timeline I’m expecting you to answer the call.”

           Peter laughed. “It’s a deal,” he promised.

           They fell into a companionable silence as they tidied up the room a little bit. Once all the trash was away and the bullets found their way back into the boxes they’d come out of, Peter and Wade made themselves comfortable on the couch. Wade put on some rom-com from the 90’s but Peter made him switch it because the main characters looked like Mr. Stark and his Aunt May and that was just too unsettling. Instead they put on The Breakfast Club with Wade doing the “No dad what about you” speech verbatim with the film.

           “You’re a dork,” Peter mocked, playfully kicking Wade with his foot.

           Wade grinned at him. “You’re just jealous.”

           Peter laughed. “Extremely.”

           It was a surprisingly fun evening and Peter enjoyed not having to study or fight crime, he could just sit with Wade and be. It was a rare thing these days to just be able to take a night off. Being around Wade was relaxing and fun, both of them talking a bunch of shit throughout the film since they’d each seen it plenty of times.

           It was a rare thing to see Wade outside the suit and Peter was enjoying all the different facial expressions he’d missed when Wade wore the mask. All the subtle little smiles and facial ticks that he normally wouldn’t have been privy too were almost intoxicating to behold. Peter found himself categorizing them all, which meant he spent more time than he probably should staring at Wade.

           By the time the movie was over, Peter had his feet nestled under Wade’s thigh with Wade’s hand on his leg, rubbing it absentmindedly. They both stretched and Wade did a comical yawn. “So, will there be more fake dates or are you going to come up with another reason why we shouldn’t be together?”

           Peter balked at him for a moment. “I-I…” Peter’s words fell flat, as he had no idea what to say in response.

           “Don’t worry about it, Petey,” Wade said, letting him off the hook. He stood up and started to walk away. Without thinking, Peter shot out a web and hauled Wade back until Wade landed unceremoniously in top of him. “Petey?” he said in surprise, his eyes searching Peter’s, his hands bracketing either side of Peter’s head.

           Peter swallowed thickly. “Maybe I don’t wanna play pretend,” he whispered quietly.

           “This doesn’t have to be anything, Peter,” Wade murmured, still giving Peter an out if he wanted it.

           Peter was more than a little shocked to find he didn’t.

           “Wade if you don’t fucking kiss me soon I’m going to have MJ call you again and give you a stern talking to,” Peter growled, wrapping his legs around Wade to lock him in place.

           “Oh god, anything but that!” Wade said, feigning terror as he tried not to smile.

           “Well?” Peter asked, looking up at Wade expectantly.

           “Baby boy, you don’t gotta tell me twice,” Wade said, lowering himself down and capturing Peter’s lips in a kiss that was downright Earth shattering. “Not going too fast for you, am I, Petey?” Wade asked him tauntingly. “Wouldn’t want to blow this again.”

           Peter couldn’t even find it in him to be annoyed by the jibe. “M’good,” he said, feeling better than he had in a long time, having the comfortable weight of Wade on top of him. “Kiss me again.”

           “Bossy,” Wade chided but complied.

           Peter started a new list in his mind, categorizing all the different wonderful and devastating ways Wade W. Wilson could kiss him. He was looking forward to continuing the list on his next date.

Spideypool- Merry Christmas, Baby boy~

This was a Christmas Special from last year, I’m gonna drop it here! It was my first time writing proper smut, not random drabble. Don’t expect a lot from it, it’s pretty bad.

(18+ smut, fluffy at the start, then Peter gets hella horny)

The Avengers were all outside in the snow, messing around and having snowball fights.

Stephen and Tony were making snarky remarks about the snowman Bucky and Steve were making, saying it was lopsided and the middle snow chunk was too big, which it was, but it was one of the first few times they’d made a snowman, it’s been a while. Falcon was chatting to Bruce about new upgrades to his gear, and Clint and Natasha were having a very violent snowball fight, which had turned into ’who could bury the other person in the snow first.’ Natasha was winning. Meanwhile, Spider-Man was standing a small while away, out of earshot and danger from the violent tendencies of the two, having just returned from a month-long mission that morning. Almost immediately, his scarf that wasn’t really needed, blew off in a really strong gust of wind, so strong that it knocked over the already crumbling snowman.

The scarf was a present MJ had given to him for Christmas earlier that day so he went to chase it, it has landed in a bush down the side of the compound’s main building, a 3 minute run away from all his friends. He grabbed the scarf and wrapped it around his neck and started to stroll back to the rest of the gang when he heard the crunching of snow behind him. He turned around quickly, even though his spidey-sense didn't go off, and was met face-to-chest with the Merc with a Mouth. Deadpool slid back a bit so he could bend down and invade Spider-Man’s personal space further.

”Just the Spider I was looking for! Merry Christmas, baby boy~!” Deadpool said in the sweetest tone he could muster. He was up to something.

”Same to you, Pool! What’s up?” Spidey said, trying to hide the happiness in his voice. He was excited to see the merc, even though he supposedly should be afraid of him. Spider-Man and Deadpool have a good history together, and they often helped each other out when they could, and they have grown close. Close enough for Peter to reveal his identity to the other. But Wade is still anxious about his appearance, so they only know each other’s names to keep it fair. Spidey has seen small portions of Deadpool’s body and face, but only when he was regenerating, so he hasn't seen enough. Deadpool hasn't seen any of Peter’s face, maybe an eye, but he can’t remember. He has had multiple chances to sneak a peek, but he refuses to break the Super-Bro code. He has seen some of Peter's arms and legs, because of damage to his suit, but once again, nothing major.

”Nothin’ much, was just on my way past, decided to come and visit my favourite Avenger!”

Peter melted. He couldn't believe what just came out of Deadpool’s mouth. He lied. He couldn't like him that much, could he?

”Awww, T-thanks, Wade, Y-your too, too nice.” Peter was so glad he was wearing his mask, or Wade would have seen the intense amount of blood rushing to his face. He would honestly not be surprised if it showed through the mask, he was blushing that much. Wade wasn't unaffected by this, his heart always skips a beat when Peter uses his full name, and it always puts a smile on his face.

”Too nice? Well, shit. I better not dial it up anymore then.” Deadpool fake sulks as he dramatically spins around, walking away in slow motion, practically begging to be called after. This reveals the blue and red wrapped present he was holding behind his back.

”Wait, What’s that?” Peter says, playing into the joke.

”Oh, this? This was just a little something for you, but I’m ’too nice’, so I might just keep it.” He says, tipping the box from side to side slightly, rolling the contents inside the box around.

”Nonono, wait.” Peter scrambles, not thinking, his curiosity getting the better of him.

”Oh, I’m not nice enough now?” he teases, slowly wandering back towards Peter. ”Well, I better make up for that. Here, Petey.” He says, handing the box to the shorter male. Peter stares off into space for a second, awestruck by the nickname Wade has taken a liking to. Peter snaps back to reality and cautiously takes the box from the other’s gloved hands and slowly tears it open, holding it slightly away from his face, in case it explodes or something. Once he has the box unwrapped, he opens it slowly, pointing it away from his face, and at the merc, causing Wade to chuckle, knowing the reason. Once it doesn't explode after 3 seconds, he peers into the box and his eyes light up. Inside the box lays 15 small Spider-man Tsum Tsums, or what Peter likes to call them, ’Spider-Loaves.’ Peter immediately starts bouncing on the balls of his feet, showing how appreciative he is of the gift.

”I couldn't find these anywhere, where did you get these?!?” Peter squeaked, excitement very evident in his voice.

”There were a couple shops that sold some of them in Japan, so-”

”YOU WENT TO JAPAN FOR THESE?!?” Peter gasped. ”You went to Japan, for me?”

”Well, yeah. You sounded like you loved these, and I had nothing but potential gold cards on my plate, and Christmas was kinda close, so I went over there for an afternoon and swept the streets looking for them. They're from 3 different stores, that’s how hard they are to get.” Wade rambles, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and mindlessly gesturing with the other.

”Wade, ” Peter mumbles, voice shaking slightly, tears threatened to spill, looking down at the small plushies. Wade’s smile falters a little, noticing the shakiness in the smaller man’s voice. ”Thank you.” He finishes, looking back up at Wade’s face, grin evident through his mask. Peter puts the lid back on the box, to stop the loaves from getting covered in the snow that started to fall. Wade’s smile returns and out of nowhere Peter closes the gap between the two, hugging Wade at almost full force, making sure not to crush his spine, but hard enough to get his point across.

”Woah! Baby boy, I’m glad you like em’, ”

”I don’t like them, Wade. I love them. Thank you so much.” Wade’s heart is soaring at this point, tears threatening to spill from his eyes, both from happiness and from the tightness of the hug.

”Well, I better let you get going, you did say you were on your way past, so you were going somewhere, right?” Peter questioned.

”Well... about that. I lied, I only came to see you. But if you want me to go-” Wade trails off, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb in the direction he came from.

”No! I mean, if you can stay, please do. I’d love for you to stay.” Peter stumbles over his words, wringing his hands. “A-and it’s really sweet of you, all of this.”

”It’s a pleasure for me to come to visit you, Petey, it's no problem. You do know I can't hang around the others though, right? So you’d have to hang with me here. It’d be kinda boring.” Wade’s happy, reassuring voice switches into one of concern and warning, reminding Peter that the other Avengers very much dislike Deadpool.

”Hanging around you is nothing short of a good time Wade. Don’t beat yourself up.” Peter half scolds, half reassures.

”Thanks, Baby boy,” Wade says, a sad smile on his face. Peter’s heart feels like it moves into his throat whenever that nickname arises, and, lucky for him, it seems to be Wade’s favourite name for Peter. Wade walks over to the building they were standing under when Peter notices a small detail. There’s a small bunch of Mistletoe hanging from Wade’s belt, partially hidden by a pouch on his left, just behind the point of his hip bone. He TOTALLY wasn't looking at Wade’s ass or anything. He probably has it from a party earlier today or something. Peter gets an idea. A bad idea, but an idea none the less. He jogs up on Wade’s left and tugs the Mistletoe slightly, and the loose knot comes undone. He switches the plant from his right hand to his left, and holds it in the same hand as his now most treasured possession and looks up at Wade, who wasn’t paying attention. Success. Now to put it to use.

Peter has recently come to terms with how he felt about guys, and he found out through Deadpool. He found out that he had fallen hard for the merc, and he hasn't regretted it for a second. He cared a lot and finding out that Wade would go to lengths that no-one else ever would to see him have even a spark of joy in his eyes like today was the push he needed to make a move. He loved Wade more than he loved any girl and that was weird at first, but not something unwelcomed. His thoughts were interrupted by the clunk of Wade’s katana holsters hitting the metal wall of the main building as he leant against it. Peter realized he could and should make his move now, so he walked up next to Wade and hooked the loop of small rope that held the Mistletoe around his finger and leant against the wall, his hand above his head, arm bent nonchalantly. Wade looked over in a confused manner and chuckled.

“Who’s that for?” Wade says between laughs, pointing to the Mistletoe. When Peter looks up at it, he realizes that he’s a bit too short, and the Mistletoe didn't reach over Deadpool’s head. Peter looks at the ground so intensely with embarrassment that he could melt the snow he was looking at. Peter felt Wade’s hand on his and looks back up, and Wade is now holding the Mistletoe high enough so it’s over both of their heads. ”That’s better, right? That’s what was meant to happen?” Deadpool asks with a smirk, slightly rubbing it in.

”Don’t tease me, Wade. I tried, okay?” Peter pouts, obviously joking.

”I know Baby boy. I was actually going to pull that trick-” He says, grabbing at his belt, where the Mistletoe was. ”You sneaky little Spider!” Wade gasps placing his hand on his chest dramatically, pulling a giggle from Peter.

”Okay, can we get to the purpose of that? I’m kinda getting impatient down here.” Peter manages to say, obviously nervous and embarrassed, while tying it to the jokes about his height from earlier.

”Wait, you're committing to the gag? You don't have to, yknow?” Deadpool says, hiding the nervousness in his voice Wade hates dealing with mushy feelings. He’s had a bad run with relationships, but he knew he actually loved Peter. He’s been pushing it away, but it got stronger. Even yellow and white started to love him more and more.

”I did it because I wanted to. Gotta commit. Unless you don’t want to, of course.” Peter says, slightly shrinking back, hoping he didn't ruin anything.

”No, Baby boy. I really want to, I just, I uhh-” Wade stumbles, trying to form a cohesive sentence.

”Wade. Yes or no. Or I’m kissing you through your damn mask.” Peter says, tugging his own mask up to his nose.

”Yeah, okay. Yes. Mhm.” Wade says, bending down to Peter’s height. Peter stands there, waiting for Wade to pull up his mask, and decides to say something after a good 10 seconds.

”Wade? Your mask.”

”Oh, oh, yeah. Could- Could you do it? I can’t do it myself, My hands are completely broken.” Wade says, obviously lying because his hands were quite visibly not broken and supporting his half squatting position by resting on his knees. But Peter complies. He pulls the mask up to his nose, taking all of his self-control to not pull it up further to see his eyes. His skin was so... Scarred. Peter thought he must be afraid of him thinking he’s disgusting, or revolting. His skin most likely felt so unique and Peter would have loved to touch Wade’s face, to hold his face and tell him he was beautiful a million times over. He still had his hand on Wade’s mask when the next words shocked him. ”Further. I know you want to. Tear off the band-aid now baby boy. Or don’t, I don't mind.” Wade said hesitantly. Peter slowly took off the rest of the mask, finding the rest of Wade’s face to be scarred like his chin and lips were. Wade slowly reopened his eyes to see Peter’s mask, and it’s lifeless eyes staring back at him.

”Not a pretty sight, I Kn-mMPH!” Wade’s self-depreciation was cut short when Peter tore off the rest of his mask, dropping both the box and the masks and tackled Wade to the ground in a forceful kiss, which Wade immediately responded to with kisses of his own. They were laying in the snow, making out like the world was going to explode if they stopped. It was a mess of clashing teeth and breathy noises, and it was perfect. Wade’s hand shot up to Peter’s hair, the other settled in the dip of Peter’s side, where his hand fit perfectly like it was made to fit there. Peter’s hands went straight to Wade’s face, cupping it in his hands, testing the grounds for how much he could touch. They eventually had to break apart for air, and they both started laughing.

”That was a bit violent, Baby boy.” Wade chuckled in a husky voice. Peter went silent and red rushed over his face. The nickname had worked a damn treat and Peter was a stuttering mess from how sensual Wade’s voice sounded and it made Peter quite excited. Wade felt Peter pressing onto his stomach through the spandex and leather and chuckled darkly. He could have fun with this, he was going to rile Peter up as much as possible. He didn't realize that Peter was going to do the same thing.

”I like it rough.” Peter whispered, making his voice more arousing.

”Oh, I’m glad, because I can do rough.” Wade responded in an equally sexy tone, running his middle finger up from the base of his spine to the middle of his back causing Peter to whine right in Wade’s ear.

”I’m hoping you’ll do me instead.” Peter responds, arousal present in his voice.

”I’m sick of the banter, what do you want me to do to you?” Wade practically growls into Peter’s ear, encouraging more dirty talk from the painfully hard other currently laying on top of him in the cold. The heater in Peter’s suit is keeping them both warm, as well as the tension between the two and body heat from Wade.

”I want to get out of the snow first.” Peter giggles, ruining the mood immediately.

”Good plan.” Wade agrees, and Peter chuckles. He sits up on Wade’s stomach, his ass rubbing against the tent in Wade’s suit, causing him to moan lowly and Peter’s dick twitches obediently in response, Peter following with a groan. ”This is going to be hard to work around,” Wade says, touching the tip of Peter’s clothed cock with his pointer finger, making him groan again.

”Mhm.” Peter hummed, biting his lip as to try and silence any embarrassing noises that would come out of his mouth. Peter stands up and sticks a hand out for Wade to take, and he pulls Wade up of the snow. You could almost see grass where they were laying because of the melting snow, and there were indents in the snow from where Peter’s knees were. They quickly covered their tracks by kicking the snow around, maybe kicking some at each other in the process, and that’s when Peter’s Spidey-Sense went off.

”Hide Wade,” Peter warns and hands Wade his box of Spider-Loaves. Wade runs behind the corner of the building and listens in, waiting for something to happen. The thrusters of the Iron-Man suit were heard and there was some chatter, and the thrusters faded away in the distance. Peter wandered around the corner in his mask and pulled it off.

”It was just Tony saying something about dinner,” Peter responded. ”I wasn't really listening, I was too busy trying to hide my boner.”

”Well, I know where to hide my boner.” Wade comments, wiggling his eyebrows. Well, where his eyebrows would be. Peter takes this moment to pull out the big guns, and walks close enough to Wade to press his rock hard erection into Wade’s thigh, and moan directly into his ear.

”Where? In my mouth? Or in my ass? Wherever you want it, you can put it, daddy.” Wade makes a choked noise in the back of his throat and his dick somehow gets harder at the younger male’s words.

”J-Jesus Baby boy, who taught you how to dirty talk?”

”The person who is most likely gonna fuck me tonight, and for life if you don’t. Better make your move.” Peter groans, rolling his hips into Wade’s leg, letting out a full-blown moan, letting his tongue roll out of his mouth slightly and leaning his cheek on Wade’s chest. Wade grabs Peter’s ass with a death grip and his dominant side kicks in.

”This here, this is mine, no one else owns this ass, got it baby boy?” Peter moans and bucks his hips into Wade’s leg again as approval, Wade dragging the smaller man’s hips in the opposite direction, slowing down the thrust to a grind, causing a whine to slip from Peter’s lips.

”Y-yes daddy.” Peter complies with a small moan. ”But can we go to your place? I live here, and everyone is in that building.”

”Can do Baby boy.” Wade cooes as he lets off his grip on Spidey’s ass, but keeping one hand there resting protectively, as to say ’Mine.’ Peter takes notice of this of course and thinks to himself about how protective and jealous he got about this nonexistent person who was gonna steal him away. If it were to happen literally, it would technically be him jerking it, cause he did it subconsciously while pleasuring himself one night.

TIME SKIP I JUST WANT THEM TO BONE

They reached Wade’s apartment, and he prepared for the best, so he cleaned his apartment before leaving to see Peter. Peter was getting antsy on the trip back, so there was no surprise that as soon as the door shut, Peter and Wade were all over each other, Peter led the kiss and Wade led the way to the bed. Once they were in the bedroom, Wade took charge. He pinned Peter to the wall and stripped him and himself down to the waist. Their bare chests gliding together, aided by a thin layer of sweat. Peter was breathing heavily, hard and begging for some friction between the two, and Wade wanted to tease, make him beg. Beg for release.

”Use your words, Baby boy,” Wade commands in between leaving hickies.

”A-ah, please, I need you, anywhere, everywhere. Take me, I’m yours! Ah, ” Peter pleads, and God if Wade wasn't hard before he was now. Painfully so.

”God Peter, I adore when you talk dirty, let's start with something tame. Knees.” Wade commands, and Peter obeys, dropping to his knees with a thud. Peter autopilots to the zipper, seeing enough gay porn to know what to do. He’s never done this with a person before but has done it on and with many toys. What he wasn't expecting was Wade’s size. Wade was bigger than Peter by a long shot, and bigger than any of his toys he could handle with his mouth by a landslide.

”Intimidating, I know. Take it slow.” Wade reassures, reading Peter’s mind. Peter takes the tip into his mouth and swallows around it, earning a low growl in response from Wade. He goes down about 4 inches before gagging, he hasn't done this in a while. He bobs his head up and down, slowly making 5 and working the other 4 with his hand. Wade is making low noises and small unintelligible praises, giving Peter the courage to go faster. He makes 5 1/2 before he’s reached his limit. He pulls off with an obscene pop and open mouth pants, using both hands, resting the tip on his tongue while he catches his breath. He flicks his tongue over the head and Wade tries to suppress a moan.

”Does it feel good?” Peter asks, genuinely curious. He hasn't been able to get feedback before, so he took this opportunity to.

”So, -hah- good, Baby, -hah- baby boy, ” Wade looks down and almost finishes from the sight. The doe-eyed male kneeling at his feet, hard beyond belief, hair messy, lips swollen, with his dick in his mouth. He had been dreaming of this for a while. Every now and then, Peter would dive over half way down and rip a loud moan out of Wade, catching him off guard. He would bob up and down for 2 minutes then back off with the dirtiest sound that you could imagine. He would sit there, teasing you, and dive back down after catching his breath. Once he got a rhythm down, he began palming himself through the bottom half of his suit and he would moan around Wade’s cock, and that sent shivers up his spine. He also started doing some kind of magic with his tongue at one point. A specific moan sent Wade barreling over the edge and he came down the younger man's wrecked throat, moaning, cursing and praising all at once.

”Fuck, Baby boy, I- hhh- God so good for me- I'm gonna, Pete, I-I-I I-haHHnnngh!” Wade grabbed onto the closest piece of furniture, which was a chest of drawers, and he gripped so hard when he came he almost put his fingers through the wood. When he opened his eyes, he saw the image that he will never forget. Peter was sitting back on his heels, licking the escaping juices from his mouth and hands, cleaning himself up.

”Fu-uck, Baby boy, a-are you g-good?” Peter just looked up at Wade and licked his lips, clearing them of any amount of cum that escapes, and let out a small moan at the taste. Wade's spent dick was already feeling up to a round two, and Peter had finished cleaning himself up with a shirt Wade pulled out of the drawers he almost destroyed.

”C-can you help me now, daddy?” Peter almost pleads, standing up shakily.

”Absolutely, baby boy,” Wade says as he pushes Peter onto the bed. Wade leans over Peter and kisses him like he means it. Sweet and calming. Peter is starting to try and gain friction, so Wade slides down Peter’s body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He gets to Peter’s waistband and pulls his suit pants and boxers down, and lets his member spring free. Wade immediately licks from base to tip and takes all 6 inches into his mouth at once. Peter bucks his hips and lets out an embarrassingly loud moan, and immediately covers his mouth afterwards.

”Be as loud as you want Petey, I wanna hear you scream my name.” Wade says voice glazed in arousal. Peter shivered at the commanding voice and complied, removing the hand from his mouth and immediately after, Wade rapidly starts bobbing his head, working his tongue into the mix, but not enough to make Peter cum. Wade waits until Peter is on the brink and then he pulls off, stalling, teasing.

”You didn't scream my name like I asked. So you will be punished.” Wade says, and gets off the bed, and strips the rest of the way. This was enough time for Peter to come down off his high and watched in anticipation and Wade grabbed the lube from a draw in the bedside table. He flashed a condom at Peter with a questioning look and Peter shook his head, so Wade shrugged and threw it back in the drawer. It didn't click as to why they would have needed one, but they were both clean, Wade can't get infected with anything cause of his super healing and Peter is just super cautious about that stuff. Wade mentioned it on one of their adventures so that was in the back of his mind. Wade motioned for Peter to roll over and Peter complied, and Wade had gotten ready while Peter wasn't paying attention. 1 finger slid in with ease, 2 was a bit of pain, 3 wasn't too bad since Wade prepped for a bit longer. 4 was agony, and then, once I got used to it, Wade removed his hand and replaced it with his dick.

”Talk dirty baby boy. You never answered my question by the way. What do you want me to do to you?” Wade groaned into Peter’s ear as he eased in, it hurt a little, but it was bearable. Once Peter could get some of his mind back, he realized Wade could bottom out almost painlessly, so he rolled his hips forward and bucked back to give the sign for Wade to move. Wade reminded Peter that there was a question to be answered. He slowed down to let Peter speak but changed from easing, constant, almost seemingly loving thrusts to even, sharp, hard slams into his tight ass.

”Baby boy, I’m gonna ask one last time, what would you like for me to do to you?”

Wade asked, face right next to Peter’s ear. Peter responded the best he could while being rammed in the ass by Wade.

”Fuck me until I can't walk, -nngh-Fill me up so I can feel you for -hah- days, Go round after round until I -nnh- pass out, let me make you cum so hard you -ah- see white. Let me pleasure you like -mmh- you pleasure me. Paint my insides white, bottom out in-ghh-side me, feed me until I’m -hAH- full and then some, let me swallow some of you, -Uhn- suck you off till you cum down my throat, pin me to the wall, let me -Ah- ride you, tie me up, pin me -hnngh- down, anything, please Wade. Please Daddy-hng-”

”Pete, fuck. Yeah, yeah, I can do most of those, shit.” Wade said, breathlessly, taking in the sight and words that Peter was giving him. The reality of the situation hit him like a metal baseball bat swung by the Hulk. His dick was fully buried in Spider-Man’s ass, both of them unmasked and out of suit, Peter begging for Wade to bend him over and fuck him in every way imaginable and then some. Wade almost came from the realisation but did the second best thing he could do instead. He let out an embarrassingly loud moan and sped up, Peter now clambering for purchase in the sheets, a moaning panting mess. His face was a deep red, and Wade’s was too. Peter had his tongue out of his mouth, open-mouth panting like a dog. Wade had tunnel vision on Peter, he was the only thing that mattered right now. Peter was getting dangerously close to the edge, the familiar warm fire in his stomach returning from earlier, but way more intense. This was the most aroused and pleasured Peter had ever felt, and he thought he might explode. He was barely making sounds anymore, just high pitched squeaks when Wade slammed in.

”Fuck- I’m close, baby boy.” Wade warned, and Peter just nodded in response, since his throat was dry and wrecked both from Wade’s cock and from moaning so much. Wade pulled his hips all the way back, and slammed the entirety of his dick back into Peter at once, grazing his prostate at the same time, tearing a strangled moan from both of the men as they came together, making a mess of Peter and the bedsheets below. ”W-Wade! Oh fuck, -hah- -mmmnh-” Peter moaned, almost passing out from the pleasure, feeling dizzy after so intensely finishing.

”Are you okay baby boy? You sound absolutely wrecked.” Wade says, collecting some of Peter’s cum on his hand from the bedsheets that were far from salvageable, curious as to how he tastes. After Peter gets his breath back, Wade slowly pulls out, a pained groan being shared between the two, both obviously overstimulated. Peter’s hips connect with the bed after seemingly a year. Wade had gotten up and went to the bathroom to clean himself up, and after he finished he came back in with a towel and grabbed two pairs of boxers from the damaged chest of drawers. He knelt down on the bed and started to clean Peter up, kissing him, filling the exchange with love and care, even though Peter could no longer feel his legs. Wade threw the towel somewhere in the room once he was done, looking over at a dazed Peter, and he never noticed how amazing Peter looked. His curly locks were in his half-lidded hazel eyes, and his lips were slightly parted, looking very kissable. His neck and collarbones were littered with purple bruises, and he was quite muscular.

”S-stop staring, Wade. You're making me body conscious.” Peter snickered, looking into Wade’s eyes and immediately got lost in them. They were the most beautiful and enticing shade of blue, and looking into them made him feel safe. There were so many emotions swirling around in them, most he couldn't recognize.

”I’d have to say the same thing to you, baby boy.” Wade teases, tapping Peter’s nose with his finger. Peter snapped out of his trance and flung his arms around Wade’s neck, dragging him into a warm kiss. The kiss wasn't needy or desperate like their first one, it was calculated and loving, warm. They wouldn't have had their first kiss any other way though. Once they broke apart the kiss, Wade dropped himself onto the bed next to Peter, engulfing him in a hug, pulling him to his chest and entangling their legs, revelling in the combined body warmth. Wade sighed contently and let his eyes slide closed, Peter trying to cuddle closer.

”Merry Christmas, Wade. I love you.” Peter slurred, half asleep already.

”Love you too Baby Boy, goodnight.”

I'd never heard if this one for soulmates before! 22 the one where it’s impossible to lie to your soulmate. Spideypool, especially if they don't figure it out at first meet b/c Spidey's pretty honest even when annoyed and Deadpool distracts instead of outright lying usually (and super-bro-code doesn't try to pry into the secret identity)

The one where it’s impossible to lie to your soulmate.

People say the most outrageous lies when they meet a person for the first time to see if they’re their soulmate. Peter thinks that’s what Deadpool is doing, except the man just keeps on saying the most ridiculous things to him even after their first meeting.

“I’ll give you my entire Dora the Explorer DVD collection if you let me lick your pecs just once!”

“I wanna tongue punch your fart box!”

“Hey Spidey, I dream about your juicy ass at least twice a night, and I don’t need to be asleep to do it!”

“I’d give up saying chimichangas if you go on a date with me, and let me tell you, it ain’t no lie when I say that the word chimichangas makes up like 50% of my diary entries each day so I hope you understand how far I’m willing to go for you!”

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life, and I was at the Super-Bowl when the Janet Jackson nip-slip happened!”

And Peter likes to think he’s a polite dude. He humours Deadpool for a bit, because yeah, he kind of might like the guy, just a teeny tiny bit, and some of the things he says are rather flattering, if vulgar, and Peter doesn’t have the best self esteem in the world. Sometimes it’s nice to hear he has the booty of a Greek God, and that his knees (why knees? Deadpool you are so weird) are totally lickable. But after a bloody and long skirmish with Electro he’s singed and tired and totally knows that the ten block radius of damage that resulted from the fight is going to be blamed on Spider-Man tomorrow, so yeah, when Deadpool shows up out the blue and starts hitting on him Peter kind of snaps.

“No, I don’t want to take a ride on your disco stick!” He growls, “can’t you see that I’m a little tired here?”

“Sorry, Webs.” Deadpool at least has the sense to look a little ashamed under his mask. “Uh, what I meant to say, is that do you want some help getting home? The Dead-taxi is here, at your service!”

“No,” Peter grumbles from his spot collapsed against the fire escape. “I just need some rest, is all. Away from annoying mutants who can’t seem to shut up and catch the hint that I kind of want to be alone right now!”

“...Sorry,” Deadpool whispers, his shoulders sagging. Peter feels a little sting of remorse, and then squashes it down with a surge of annoyance. “Do you want me to leave?”

And Peter’s irritated and sore and bruised all over but the worst thing is he’s mostly annoyed at himself, because there’s a big part of him that wants Deadpool to stay, to pick him up in his ridiculously muscled arms and cradle him against that big broad chest and take him home and cuddle him of all things, and it’s entirely that small part of him that’s prickly and pissed off about having a crush on Deadpool that makes him open his mouth and say “yes.”

But the thing is, he can’t say it. His mouth hangs open and his lips make the right shape but his vocal chords refuse to work and Peter almost had a heart attack when he realises that he can’t lie.

He can’t lie to Deadpool.

“Spidey?” Deadpool sinks down to his knees next to Peter, and his white stupid panda eyes of his mask are worried. “You’re gonna catch flies like that. Unless that’s totally what you’re going for because you’re Spider-Man and spiders eat flies and you’re trying to go for an authentic image?”

And Peter tries to say, “Iggy Azalea is the defining rapper of the generation,” but all that comes out is “Iggy Azalea is the-” and he chokes on the lie. Tries to say “chocolate chip pancakes are gross and I hate them,” and ends up with “chocolate pancakes are- grnf.” And he sits there, stunned, as Deadpool’s panda eyes go from worried to wide with realisation.

“Oh,” Deadpool says, “you finally figured it out.”

And all Peter can say is, “you knew? What? How? When?”

And Deadpool shrugs. “When we first met and I was singing I Don’t Fuck With You because Iron Poop was hanging about and then I saw you behind him and I choked on the line I got a million trillion things I'd rather fuckin' do, than to be fuckin' with you and I’ve never ever gotten the lyrics wrong, not even during Chinese water torture, and that shit seriously fucks with you.”

“That was months ago!” Peter squeaks. “And you didn’t think to tell me that you’re- that I’m your soulmate?”

Deadpool shrugs again. “Just because you’re my soulmate doesn’t mean that you like me. I’d rather us, you know, become friends or whatever because you actually like me, and not because of some stupid soulbond that doesn’t really mean anything except that some higher power thought that we should bump uglies. That shit’s seriously got some underlying non-consensual connotations hiding in there too, like what if I don’t want to have a soulmate and a perfect match or whatever, I could totally be fine on my own, not that I’m saying that I don’t want you because fuckbuckets holy shit I do because you’re amazing and strong and beautiful and good and honest to such a degree that you didn’t figure out that we’re soulmates until now and you don’t like milk either because ew cow titty juice right and you make me want to be a better person and what I’m trying to say is that I’m in love with you not because of some stupid soulbond, but because you’re you.”

And then it’s Peter’s turn to say “oh.” And then it only makes sense to pull his mask off and yank Deadpool close and say, “you should totally kiss me right now,” and Deadpool rolls his mask up so fast he almost takes an eye out and when their lips meet all the hair on Peter’s body stands up and his stomach tightens and something in his chest pulls free and soars.

Later, when they’re in Peter’s shitty apartment and Peter’s lying on naked on Deadpool’s chest in bed and they’re no longer Spider-Man and Deadpool but Peter and Wade, soulmates, he says, “I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out faster.”

“Baby boy, you’re smart but you’re also kind of dumb,” Wade grins, and Peter jabs him in the side and the afterglow dissolves into a tickle fight but Peter’s not mad because yeah, it can’t be a lie, he kind of is. But that’s okay because he’s Wade’s and Wade is his and they’re just two dumb dudes dressed up in skin tight suits patrolling the streets of New York, beating up bad guys, telling bad jokes, eating tacos out of questionable food trucks and being perfect for one another.  

Merc With A Trashmouth

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three // Chapter Four

summary: Despite growing up in Derry together, the two boys went down two very different paths. Richie is the world’s most notorious mercenary and assassin, while Eddie is none other than New York’s sweetheart - the literal poster boy for bringing justice to baddies without unaliving them. This is the self-indulgent spideypool!reddie au that literally nobody asked for.

pairing: reddie

words: 2.3K

warnings: general lewdness, non-graphic violence, the loss of a limb.

A/N: holy shit so i didnt expect this to get such a positive response like it did???? im just going to say that since this is a spideypool au, im literally not going to skimp out on any of the deadpool stuff, including the scarring and the angst. oh yeah and i was worried about this being too out of character and just becoming literally spiderman and deadpool, rather than richie and eddie, but since their dynamic is the exact same, i think it blends quite nicely. the dialog between them is the easiest thing to write in this fic. Please message me if you would like to be added to the taglist!

For some stupid fucking reason, Richie must’ve expected finding Eddie to be a lot easier than it actually was, which was completely unrealistic because there must be at least two million people in Queens alone. It wasn’t like the file actually helped any. There was an address scribbled inside it, but it had to be an old one because when Richie went, all he found was a delightful old Thai lady. Much to his dismay, Eddie could be literally anywhere in New York, and Richie had no clue where to start.

All he really wanted to do was crawl back to his shitty bar in Canada and pretend he had never even heard Eddie’s name in first place.

Seriously, he’s been around to literally every pharmacy and Starbucks (he knows that boy must drink pumpkin spice lattes) in Queens, and there are still no leads, just dirty looks due to the suit. At least, he left his guns in the hotel room. He learned on a job a couple years ago that NYPD does not fucking play around.

Every single day he’s still there, the lack of action causes cells in Richie’s brain to shrivel, and he just wants to fucking scream, because god dammit..he needs to shoot something. He has been in New York for a total of 5 days, and that’s a lot of days to go without unaliving somebody. All he needs to do is find Eddie, make sure nobody’s done anything stupid, and go the fuck back home, so he can continue playing with Bea and Arthur.

Perhaps, he wasn’t meant to find Eddie, in all honesty. The guy is probably married with a kid or two, doing god knows what American dream job. Richie can tell from personal experience that when Derry memories flood back into your life, it’s like watching a grotesque monster infecting and suffocating anything good you currently have. Derry kids so rarely had the chance of happiness, so who was Richie to waltz into Eddie and rub his excess Derry angst all over Eddie’s perfect life.

But, would any of the Losers grant Richie the same kindness if the roles were reversed and he lived a happy life?

Yes....actually.

Damn his friends for being thoughtful and ethical!

Rationally, he should just give up his search and look for the nearest seedy titty bar to crawl into, while he still has his dignity and Eddie has his.

But, Richie always kinda sucked at being rational.

Most people had their heads to be reasonable over their hearts and dicks, but Richie’s head was just as irrational as the latter two.

Richie giggled to himself on a full subway car, earning the glare of a very scary looking Puerto Rican woman. “You said head,” he mumbled to himself, still immaturely sputtering out laughs.

Like the dumbass he was, Richie decided the best course of action would be to track Spider-Man rather than Eddie. Spider-Man was broadcasted all the time. At any given time, there was a camera ready to film that cute little bubble butt every time a baddie caused some big explosion or killed some people.

If Eddie was Spider-Man, then Richie just had to find Spidey and let him know there’s a hit out on his secret identity. Then, he could finally get the fuck out of New York City!

***********

Six days later, Richie began to realize his plan wasn’t as genius as he expected it to be. Mass destruction doesn’t just happen every day in New York, surprisingly. That wasn’t to say Spider-Man wasn’t active on the streets every day. It just wasn’t exactly news. Crime happens. Spider-Man stops it. Yawn.

He supposes he’d just have to find out what route Spider-Man takes his patrol on because there was no way he was blowing anything up to attract the guy. The feds were already on his ass because he “assassinated over 150 American citizens.” Pffft. Like he didn’t kill anybody who didn’t deserve it. His victims were always drug lords, pedophiles, and other scumbag criminals because he still had a moral code (thank you very much!).

It shouldn’t take this fucking long to find one guy. He’s an assassin for fuck's sake!

He began to question locals about Spider-Man sightings, though most of them just talked about the footage they’ve seen on the news.

It wasn’t until he came across a Deli owner in Queens that he found an actual lead, completely by accident. Truthfully, he just wanted a roast beef sandwich. He wasn’t looking for anything.

“Man, how hard is it to find Spider-Man in this town?” Richie said conversationally, leaning against the counter while the owner sliced the meat.

The mustachioed man looked him over cautiously, then spoke in a gruff voice. “I thought all youse masked freaks knew each other or something. Are you tellin’ me there’s not a giant bat signal shining out each of your assholes so youse can locate each other?”

For the first time since he came to New York, Richie busted out laughing so hard that he was hunched over and slightly crying.

Thank god for vulgar Deli owners!

As the man finished making the sandwich and rung it up at the register, he still kept a judgemental eye on Richie. When he finally determined Richie wasn’t a threat, he chose to continue speaking.

“Spider-Man comes swinging over this street right here every night,” he gestured out the window. “We appreciate having him in the neighborhood. Stopped my niece from getting mugged. He seems like a good kid...whoever he is.”

Immediately, Richie reached across the counter and grabbed the man’s face with both hands. Before the man could cold-cock him, Richie placed a chaste kiss through his mask the man’s mouth.

“You have just made my decade, buddy,” Richie shouted, throwing a 20 on the counter and snatching up his sandwich. “Keep the change!”

As he ran out the door, he exclaimed to himself, “I can finally get out of this godforsaken city and go home to my sweet, sweet Canada.”

*********

He camped out on the roof of one of the apartment buildings, after convincing an old blind woman to let him in the building because “his son locked him out.” All he had to do now was wait for Spidey.

He was like one of those animals that preyed on spiders.

Lizards??

At least, he thinks lizards eat spiders.

From this day forward, Richie Tozier a.k.a Deadpool a.k.a Trashmouth a.k.a the Sexiest Man Alive was now officially a lizard.

What a day.

At about one in the morning, Richie, sure enough, spotted Spider-Man in all his spandex glory swinging towards him. Before the little fucker could pass over him and get away, Richie stood up and shouted “Spidey!” at the top of his lungs.

Sure enough, Spider-Man noticed the antihero, standing in all his red and black, weapon yielding glory. But, he wasn’t as thrilled to see Richie as he thought the hero might be. Because, Richie is a gay dumbass, he didn’t consider the fact Spider-Man did everything by the books and was a goody-two-shoes, while Richie had been suspected of over 150 murder charges in the United States alone. So it shouldn’t have been a shock when Spider-Man immediately webbed him to the roof before landing.

“Oh wow. This is kinky,” Richie purred, wiggling underneath the webbing.

“Shut up, Deadpool!” Eddie shouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “What are you doing in my city?”

This definitely wasn’t the time to say anything to agitate the arachnid, but Richie once traded in his self-control for a pretty radical shirt.

He blew a raspberry, then opened his mouth, “like this is your city.”

Everything about this situation annoyed Eddie. It was supposed to be an easy, pleasant patrol with maybe some carjackers, not Deadpool! The man wiggling around on the roof seemed almost bored already with the conversation going on, and he insulted Eddie outright.

Eddie crouched next to Deadpool, prepared to cock him in the jaw for that comment. “Excuse me?”

The merc turned his head to look Eddie in the eye as best as he could with the masks on. “You heard me, Spidey. This isn’t your city. Derry is. Am I correct?”

For a split second, Eddie flinched away from the antihero as if he had been burned, then the shock was immediately replaced with indignation and rage. How dare anybody mention Derry’s existence in his presence! Doesn’t this guy understand how hard he worked to claw his way out of that hellhole?!

Richie sees the anger outlined on Eddie’s mask, the way his jaw and fist clenches, yet he’s completely defenseless. He’s sure he could take whatever beating Eddie could give him, but he sure wouldn’t enjoy it (despite what some people in Hong Kong might tell you).

“I was gonna be nice and leave you webbed to the roof for a couple hours,” Eddie strained through gritted teeth. “But, I guess I’ll just deliver you to the feds mysel-”

“Your name is Eddie Kaspbrak,” Richie interrupted, maintaining utter calmness and seriousness. “Your mom’s name is Sonia Kaspbrak. Your dad died of cancer when you were 5. Your first kiss was with Bill Denbrough during a game of spin the bottle when you were 14. You love the color pink, even though your mother would never let you wear it because it was ‘a color for queers.’ Oh yeah! And, your childhood best friend was Richie Tozier, who you promised to marry as an adult when you were 8.”

Though neither noticed, they both swallowed thickly at the last part. All the tension and anger flooded from Eddie’s body and was replaced by confusion with every word.

“Who are you?” Eddie whispered softly, sitting near Richie’s body.

“Uh-uh, Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie scolded, “let me out of your web, and we’ll talk. I’m not going to be privy to your dungeon porn hour.”

The other man looked skeptical, as expected, but he knew he could easily overpower Deadpool if he tried anything, Carefully, he began ripping away his webbings and releasing Richie. All the while, Richie quietly observed him. It seemed as if Eddie’s heart was going to beat out of his chest.

When Richie was finally free, Eddie stared at him expectantly.

“Richie,” the merc muttered under his breath, brushing excess web away from his suit.

“What?” Eddie demanded.

“Richie,” he repeated louder, looking Eddie straight in the face. “My name is Richie Tozier.”

Eddie scoffed and stood up. “Bye, Deadpool.”

As Richie watched Eddie prepare to swing away from the roof and ruin his weeks of hard work, he decided the only appropriate course of action would be to appeal to Spidey’s sense of goodness. A few feet away from him, there was a ventilation system with Big Sharp Blades.

Perfect!

Quickly, he got up and strolled over to the system, sticking his right arm completely. He let out some fake screams, along with actual real grunts of pain. Though he knew the fucker would grow back, losing an arm was literally always going to be painful no matter what. As predicted, the hero turned around at the sound of the screams and immediately ran over.

“Deadpool! What the fuck!”

“Look, Eddie! I’m Georgie,” Richie giggled, which broke out into maniacal laughter. It soon died down, then he deadpanned, “oh yeah. Wrong universe. You won’t get that joke.”

Richie was mentally patting himself on the back for yet another genius idea, as Eddie picked him up and slung him over his shoulders, piggyback style. Wow, this boy was strong. Richie would have to store that knowledge in the wank bank.

“Are you a fucking lunatic?!” Eddie demanded as he began swinging through the air.

A little delirious giggle from the blood loss escaped Richie. “Crazy’s my middle name,” he paused. “Wait. No, it’s actually not. It’s Michael. But, Crazy seems more rad.”

Loudly, Eddie groaned, mourning the loss of his nice easy night on patrol.

“I am so dumping you at a hospital.”

“No hospitals,” Richie said firmly.

“Where the fuck else am I supposed to take you?” the other snapped.

“Your apartment.”

Richie could practically feel the eye roll. “You know this was a lot of effort to get into my pants, but I’m not going to sleep with you while you’re bleeding everywhere.”

“So, you’d sleep with me if I wasn’t bleeding everywhere?”

Suddenly, the spot where Richie’s chest was resting on Eddie’s shoulders felt slightly warmer, and if Richie didn’t know any better, he’d say the man was blushing.

“Shut up, asshole! Give me one good reason why I should take you to my apartment.”

Dramatically, Richie cleared his throat, “because my arm will grow back, first of all.” Eddie turned his head slightly to see a small tiny hand poking out of what was a bloody open wound not five minutes ago. It gave a tiny little wave at him. Every thought he ever had about Deadpool being attractive shriveled in literally five seconds as he grimaced underneath his mask at the little hand.

“Second of all, I gave you literally every reason to believe I’m Richie Tozier, yet you still won’t listen to me! Do I have to start whipping out the cringy middle school memories to get you to believe me or what? Because I personally remember the “Eddie’s Booty Jams” mixtape. The ‘80s definitely weren’t as cool as everyone made them out to be.”

It was quiet for a long time, just the sounds of New York below them.

“If I take you to my apartment, will you shut up?” Eddie sighed, no longer willing to fight this crazy situation.

“Gladly, baby boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie honestly debated dropping him from this height.

“God, I hate you,” Eddie muttered. “And for your information, I would literally never sleep with you now that I’ve seen your weird baby hand.”

“So, I had a chance before!?”

Eddie groaned, not for the last time.

taglist:  @eds2fannypacks, @welctothelosersclub, @its-stranger-than-you-think, @reddiietoship, @richietoaster, @hickey-richie, @dandeliontozier, @kaspbrck, @yalocalemo, @hearteyes-m

Spideypool’s First Encounter

-- @avengertm --

Boy oh boy oh boy, was Wade psyched out of his mind. Another lowlife jackass to kill? Talk about the perfect opportunity to blow off steam! In fact, Wade couldn’t think of any better way to spend his day. Sensing a bit of sarcasm, are you? Then you’re absolutely correct! Wade wasn’t exactly in the best of moods, because a hungry Deadpool was an unhappy Deadpool, and his current target just got in the way of his happy meal. Wade had been intentionally seeking out this Randall fella the entire day, but surprise surprise, the moment he takes a five minute break for a quick snack is when something finally decides to show up!

“Well son of a fuck stick.” Wade lowered his burger at the sight of one of Randall’s henchmen, slowly readjusting his mask to cover his whole face again.

“Looks like lunch just got cancelled. I’ve got myself some Randall’s to kill.” Despite how unfortunate it was, Wade threw his burger out and exit the fast food restaurant, following the man from a good distance away as to not be noticed.

Street after street, the man just kept walking along like he was on a fucking hike through nature. Sorry to say, but the most interesting thing to see in this part of town would have to be the homeless vegans on the side of the road who begged for food but refused to eat just about anything they were handed. So then, if not for that, why was this jackass inching around like he was a god damn sloth? Wade was starting to wonder if Mr. Jackass was onto him and was purposefully leading him in all the wrong directions. See, Wade would usually stab the info out of a guy like this, but occasionally, very, very occasionally, there was someone so irrationally loyal that they would refuse to cough up the info no matter where they were stabbed or which parts of their body were flayed open. Wade was feeling far too lazy to wait around for another opportunity today, so he wasn’t about to fuck this up. This would just have to do, and if the guy was leading him into a trap after all, he’d just slash his head off his body. Pretty easy math, wouldn’t you say?

This Randall guy sounded like a real piece of work. And by piece of work, he meant the shittiest kind of human being to ever step foot on the planet. Word around town was that he and his henchmen attacked and kidnapped all sorts of people-- basically anyone they could manage to get their hands on, and sold them for sex trafficking. Usually when you imagine that kind of living, breathing piece of trash, you would envision the ugliest, scariest kinds of people imaginable, but it was quite the opposite. Randall, and most of the men who worked for him, looked like perfectly normal people, kind, even, and that was the worst part of it all. That’s what made it so damn easy for them. What he and his creepy little workers did to all of those countless people was beyond fucked up. What those people became after so many years of that shit… well, let’s just say, death would be a kinder fate. That’s why, this little mission Wade was on now wasn’t just going to end with a dead Randall. Every fucker who’d ever contributed even the tiniest bit of time and work into that business wasn’t going to come out of this in one piece. Try thirty pieces.

Wade observed carefully as the man made his way toward an old looking building. Looks like this was the place where they did their shady business… or at least, a branch of it. Oh, MOTHERFUCKER! There was a key code! That made this whole process a hell of a lot harder. Lucky for Wade, the jackass held the door open long enough for him to sneak up behind him.

“Aw, holding the door open for little ol’ Deadpool? What a gentleman!” At the sound of Wade’s voice, the man turned around quickly and defensively, pulling his gun from it’s holster, but not before two blades were stabbed through his chest, halting all further actions. With a yelp, the man hit the ground with a bang, a crimson pool soon creeping from his lifeless shell of a body.

It was once he was inside, door slamming shut behind him, that Wade’s sight landed on a creepy red figure that didn’t look too different from his own masked persona. Oh what the fuck.... It was like he was looking at a creepy mirrored version of himself.

“HOLY SHIT! OH MY GOD!” Wade shouted so loud his voice echoed off the walls. His finger was pointed directly at this mysterious twin of his.

“YOU SCARED THE LIVING BALLS OUT OF ME! ARE YOU ME FROM THE FUTURE?! A CLONE?! Oh god please tell me you aren’t an evil clone of me.” Whoever he was, if he was here, then he was one of them, and if he was one of them, then Wade had himself a twin to kill.

would u b interested in talking about crime, punishment and (if there is any) justice? I wish Spideypool fics would discuss more on Spidey's method of leaving criminals to the authorities vs Dp's more permanent solution and if there's any affectual change. Coz if the comic's justice system is like the real world's, criminals (esp rapist) might get less jail-time or get away scot-free. Also comics is a form of escapism, is it bad that i want criminals to b punished by Dp more than Spidey?

The dynamic between these two characters, especially as they develop over the decades, makes this a really interesting subject. The reasoning for their ideologies is based on similar things and yet they tend to be polarizing. The comparisons are pretty interesting.

Spider-Man saw Deadpool as nothing but a vile criminal. Deadpool saw himself as a vile criminal and Spider-Man as a super cool dude.

Spider-Man began his super career as a vigilante, essentially a criminal

Deadpool began his career due to forced military service

These origins are gravely different from who and what each of them became, arguably because of the privilege/freedom/opportunity/etc. they had starting off

Spider-Man’s original goal was to use his abilities to run away from home and join a circus

Deadpool’s original goal was to be a superhero

kind of ironic how they switch places

Spider-Man doesn’t kill but he beats his enemies and then because of his code of ethics leaves them there, usually hanging upside down from a web praying that the police will come get them before they bleed out

Deadpool has a scale of how much he gives a fuck based on privilege, if you’re just some civilian then you better run because it was your decision to move to New York/San Francisco but he doesn’t kill kids. This skill also works flipped over, the more powerful and respected you are the less Deadpool is to care about your well-being but if you abuse a child he’ll kill you whether you’re the pope or not

The brutality each of them show is often considered outside of this context

Spider-Man becomes more irrational and violent and abusive the more emotional he gets, his emotional fragility is his Achilles heel

Deadpool becomes more rational and peaceful and heroic the more emotional he gets, somehow that’s also his Achilles heel

The difference is Deadpool is consciously deciding which actions to take because he has intimate knowledge of where that emotional behavior leads when unchecked (which is why you’ll see him all through the years going to different heroes and therapists, begging them to tell him what to do because he wouldn’t trust himself.) When the dust settles Deadpool is alone and that’s when his emotions break, when the dust settles Spider-Man is surrounded by family and friends and general supporters who help to take some of that emotional weight off of him so he can go on

In Spider-Man/Deadpool they are dealing with this dynamic and it’s great. The two are together and everything is chaotic so immediately you see Peter slip into hopelessness just as Wade slips out. To Peter there is bad stuff going on and it’s overwhelming and he has so much responsibility and he just can’t take it much longer. To Wade there is bad stuff going on so he has something specific he can concentrate on and drown out the depression Peter seems to be slipping under. Deadpool handles it better because since he can’t fix himself he might as well take it upon himself to “fix” something for someone else 

The point that they’re at right now, where Spider-Man is questioning whether his code of morality is viable or not and Deadpool has a front row seat to seeing it after idolizing him for so many years. He always agreed with Spider-Man that he was a horrible person and Spider-Man was the best guy ever but now that they are together so often Deadpool sees how naïve Spider-Man really is.

Naïve enough to think that viciously beating someone, stringing them upside down, and leaving them for someone else to take care of isn’t actually a type of murder.

Naïve enough to defeat the villain and consider the towns people saved, never considering how they will survive afterward

Deadpool is naïve enough to see these details but still think that things can change. Not through him, but by someone who is an actual hero 

Deadpool is naïve enough to believe that there is a difference between heroes and villains

First ever Fanfiction that I ever wrote

Spideypool

Real quick [white box talking] { yellow box talking} "someone talking ". narrator talking (thoughts ) Hay guys it's SMH and as u can tell by the title I'm going to start a SpiderMan / Peter Parker and Deadpool / Wade Willson FanFiction story of my own because I actually like the DRAMA and LOVE and alway wanted to try it out but anyways let go since this is a series I really don't know how to make a short summary of it so I'm just gonna go and start INJOY !!!!!😀😁😂😢😘

Let's start the beginning chap 1

So let's just say that how Deadpool and I met is a long story but bare with me

Peter was on the top of the daily bugle watching well NOTHING happen it was actually a really calm night "looks like tonight might be your night Pete "just as those words slip out his mouth he hears a gunshot he almost immediately hops up his spider scence going off so much that he could have gotten an headache so he quickly webbed off to the scene an abandoned house "why would anyone in there right mind be in this dump " Peter said with a look of disbelief right across his face then there was his answer as the merc came rolling out and standings says " boom pow watchA look who's big and bad now boss man" he says directly at the building before it explodes Peter still In shock didn't know what to do say anything he was just standing there "um hay you ok wait " Wade quickly noticing who it was grabbed Peter pushed him against the wall with his Katana up against his neck realizing what he had done Peter felt ashamed to how easily he let his guard down " hay hay what are u doing Dude do u even know who I am Um yeah Good so u know that I can't let u go because of what u just witnessed right there so I'm afraid I'm going to have to UNALIVE u and that fine piece of ass know Un what wait u mean your gonna ki Shh shh shh shh shh shh don't say it and yes that's exactly what I'm gonna do to u now hold still " the struggling Peter didn't no how to get out of Wade's death lock so he slowly picked up his legs sliding them easily between the gap from him and Wade's bodies though there faces so close they could have kissed if they wanted then Peter kicked Wade away from him giving him enough time to dodge Wade as he came inches away from his face the spider went to trip Wade to get at least some sort of leg up but he jumped up avoiding the hit " u know spidey I knew u were good but I mean nobody's lasted as long as this before so I guess it's time for the second retreat Leaving already Deadpool I expected more of a fight coming fro.." He was cut off by the clicking of a gun he paused and slowly turned only to have Wade raise the gun at Peter's head " nighty night little brow" he clicked the gun to pete's luck it had jammed and he slapped Wade hand away from his face just as he did that the gun came out full force into his shoulder stunned at the pain he started to cry trying to not let Wade know but he had clearly yelled out a wince of pain as his mask started to get damp and his vision blurry " ok ok ok wait lets rewind a few weeks later just so that this last bit makes more sense to u so a couple of weeks ago Wade was once again running from shield when he stumbled into a high school student Peter almost fell over with the amount of force that Wade was walking with when he had bumped into him obviously side tracked it seemed as if he was talking to someone {how do we get out of this one hot shot} [ for once I have to agree fury's gonna be up our ass if we can't get out if this I told you and yellow that this was a bad idea but does anyone ever listen ] { NOPE not one bit for the most part } when are guys planning on shutting the fuck up listening to u to is driving me insane [ noted but u were insane when we found u or at least when I found u two who noes how yellow could have drive u way past sanity]{ um u just like to blame for everything don't u } the two of u annoy the living HELL out of me fanning them away just as he bumped into Peter " wow hay are u ok kid Um ah yeah I'm fine thanks " since it was a weekend Peter was just kind of looking for adventure something to do at the least " say u think u know some place I could stay Um ya why on the run or something How did he know we just met him [ I dono ]{ hay ask him if he's on to us } I can't do that I just met the kid Um " Peter looked confused clearly seeing that Wade definitely didn't have on a Bluetooth and that he was talking to himself about who knows what " hay what's your name kid " oh ah it's Peter and yours Wade Wade Willson Cool yes I may no of a place but follow me Ok {DAMN } what what [ please tell me that I'm not the only one who sees the beauty] what? Wade practically yelled out alarmed { that ASS }[that ass though it making me shiver just look at how fluffy it looks it must feel that way too ] really u had me worried over an ass it's not even a big deal { u can't tell me that his ass doesn't look like the most wonderful cuddle buddy } guys but I have to admit HIS ASS [ exactly] he followed Peter to a far table in the park (Wade why do u talk to yourself so much ) Peter thought but didn't have the nerve to say it " so what are you doing now I'm just thinking About what " Wade said it came out way more stern and aggressive than he meant it to Peter almost hopped out his seat after hearing Wade " sorry It's fine Listen u can stay with me at my apartment for a couple of weeks just until you get up again " he gave out a large sigh " really " Wade said filled with energy " u know I like u we should hang Ya sure " So they both got up and started walking to pete's house Wade going on and on in and out of talking to Peter and the boxes who wouldn't shut up about Peter's ass but Wade just kept blabbing about nonsense to Pete " alright here we are " Peter said cutting Wade of from his rambling he went up the stairs and invited Wade in it was a small apartment but just big enough for Wade and him So weeks went on as there relationship was getting close closer than intended to the point were they shared the apartment now and were in a relationship Peter sneaking out at night to go on his patrols and almost at the same time Wade sneaking out neither knowing each other's big FUCKING SECRETS sure Peter wanted to up there relationship and not just there sex life by telling Wade witch he usually didn't have a problem some how expressing himself but this was big and wasn't sure how the unpredictable Wade would react witch scared him even more but Wade answer was that he just didn't think that his sensitive baby boy would be able to handle the fact that not only did his boyfriend kill for money he was benefiting from but that he killed for the fun of it too and neither of them was able to connect the dots sure it was kinda hard for Peter considering the fact that him and SpiderMan might have as well been to different people but with Wade there was still the bipolarism the voice just that Deadpools was muffled but pete's voice sounded the same the quips from Deadpool and the sarcasm from SpiderMan which resembles the both of them almost down to the tee but there was still all the other things that were different I guess that's were the were caught

Peter was in so much pain but the only thing that was keeping Peter so determined to survive was knowing that Wade would have been lost without him he learned that the many time he's come home with more the enough scars for Wade to lose his mind to worry the some came to when Wade came home with scars that weren't there before

spidey fell to the flour his tears almost drowned him in his mask so he took it completely forgetting were he was what the Wade looked confused almost thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him he got closer to Peter still holding on to his mask Wade felt his eyes water as he slowly but quietly said " baby boy " still with his mask on Peter then felt Wade put pressure on the wound not to let any more blood come out now realizing that some of the worst scars that Peter would come with that made him so mad he would cry and say that if he had ever seen the bully who kept putting his hands on his baby boy he would gut realizing that he wanted to gut himself he started to cry louder Peter thinking that Wade was mocking him still in pain from the shock and regaining his eye sight grabbed Wade by the collar and told him that if so much as touched Wade he would kill him something that was entirely against his moral code then he repeated himself pulling the mask off stopping mid sentence he cried this time not because of pain but because of shock all his worst scars had come from his lover and he got up Wade got silent the second Peter took his mask of no getting up as well they both stated each other for what felt like an eternity then Peter opened his mouth he tried to speak but couldn't get up to it he had broken his moral code for Deadpool because of Deadpool he had one got a hold of his katanas and cut Wade all over deep wounds to he had shot Wade in the heart one as he was walking away he hade done so much as hade Wade towards each other and Peter only broke his codes for the same reason time after time he would get this bit of complete personality of Wade from the merc that he didn't like and always thought he was mocking his love until now now he knows and regrets and is pained at knowing what had done to Wade Peter hoped onto the roof and sat there just thinking to himself that if he had just told Wade his secret he wouldn't be in this situation enraged with himself Peter wished he could beat himself up but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon and Wade didn't feel any different he felt terrible he climbed to the top of the building and found Peter crying secretly asking himself if he should jump of the building Wade noticing that Peter was looking aimlessly over the tall building tears still flooding his eyes he couldn't live with himself knowing that it was him that caused all that suffering and pain not seeing Wade he pulled Peter up next to him and they just stared at each other Peter looked away from Wade who was holding his waist tightly he pried wade's hand open and walks off and not even hesitating he jumped off the building Wade jumped of seconds after not knowing why knowing he couldn't die but that Peter could he was going to save Peter if it did injure him using his wait to his advantage falling fast than Peter he grabbed him know that if he caught Peter with holding his head from the huge jolt that he would break it being extra careful with that step as he got out an arrow that he had taking from hawk eye but noticing that they would Have enough time to stop befor they hit the ground hard he made Peter open his eyes he was ready to die but Wade sure wasn't letting him he grabbed his hand and some how managed to get Peter's hand to shoot out webs forming a net below them the fell it and he got off of it quickly knowing that it wouldn't hold them for very long time crying he sat Peter up with his head down in full shame Wade lifted his face up and kissed him " not on my watch " he whispered " Peter kissed pack and cradled Wade tightly crying the two of them still kissing until Peter stopped and asked Wade why he kept his secret away from his Wade did the same answering similar questions they didn't want to heart each other they hugged and Wade gave Peter his mask putting his own over his head and since then they told each other everything good bad extremely bad terrible u name it and they also realized that they work good as individuals but worked even better together .

Chap 2 spread all the way out

Peter and Wade had been dating for three years and it had been going good for the most part there was always the ups and downs with the two of them constantly getting hurt Peter was in college which meant even more work mixed in with patrols and constant fights which seemed to happen every other day Wade struggling to turn over a new leaf but Peter could tell how hard he was trying then of course Wade's everyday mood swings and all the times that Wade let his insecurities get the best of him were he thought that everything was his fault and always called himself an MONSTER and told Peter that he shouldn't love him which would always leave Peter slightly aggravated and hurt , hurt that after three years Wade still felt like Peter was making the wrong choice that he wasn't good enough for Peter it alway made the both of them cry without fail but they were getting better much better it was really close to in improvement until the instantly dreadful day started with a knock on the the apartment door it was a duffel bag with a note on it he slowly read it ( from Storm : I know this is new but it's the least we could do for him helping SORRY. ) " what this about now" unzipping the bag he gasped " sweet baby Jesus -" in a slow worried voice he he said " Wade" he said the amount of worry and frustration in his voice scared him he picked up the bag and went upstairs crying he put Wade on the bed and couldn't bare to look at him so Peter just dumped him out on the bed and went out side on top of the roof clearly in mental pain he screamed at the top of his lungs and evidently fell to the floor crying about an hour later Peter was still on the roof worry and pain all over his face Wade was in the room both boys silent Wade almost felt scared and definitely felt worried after not hearing any noise until he heard someone pacing on the roof figuring it was Peter he was about to go up until he saw someone enter the room just as the pacing stopped the man had looked almost identical to Peter just that the face was a little bit off and he was more muscular so Wade in an excited and loud voice yelled out " Peter hay baby boy " Peter on the roof outomatiyly hoped down and slid into the the window of the room a screamed " Kain " Wade stopped confusion speed on his face he froze up " Peter " not to mention the the so called Kain had a deeper voice " why are u here What's going on Hold that thought Wade Listen Peter something happened we need to talk Wait Peter who what were U haven't told him have u Pete Ua um not really Tell me what !? Ok ok so Kain is my clone and there are also some other clones of me to but besides that fact your not supposed to be in New York Ya I know but this is important there has been a open portal that connects all the multi universe together and its sucking up all the spidies from different dimensions and sending them here and since your the original as more spider powered beings come you'll stretch farther on farther until you've reached your limit and yes they will all be coming here being naturally drawn to you and Deadpool really What Ok then There's nothing wrong with him What ever u say Peter Wait I feel left out in this conversation and very much confused We'll explain some other time " then just as luck goes Spider-man Noir come the bedroom door gun wielded in hand " Parker Oh shit - Deadpool says What the hell - Peter says Alright someone needs to explain to me now" his voice was like butter on toast smooth but raspy not knowing who anyone else in the room was besides Pete " What how do u know my name Kain u said they wouldn't know me just be drawn to me I don't ask him Alright how do u know " he pulled off his mask showing an older version of Peter " woa ok ok I'm for the day now I'm going to pass out Yo ho anybody remember me u this is taking a toll on me to just how many other versions of my baby boy are out the eh WAIT " Peter screamed and then in a quiet but freaked out voice says " what is that What's what holy shi " Wade was cut off by the spider powered being smashing throw the window Hi " Peter froze ( that voice it sounds so familiar ) it brought back bad memories and Pete stumbled Wade catching him just before he actually did almost pass out " ok tell me anyone no why I was sucked up in the middle of a fight " asked the girl in a white suite with white , red and black web designs on it and a white mask with a blurred red around the eyes and a hood " what's wrong with him Wait are u a female version of Peter Um no wait repeat that please What Peter Peter Parker am I hearing this right " Wade still had Peter in his hand he later him on the bed Gwen slowly walked up to Peter who was now sitting on the bed with a simple almost unbelievable tone she said "Pete " he didn't respond he was freaking out the Gwen from his universe was gone he didn't like to talk about but with time Wade put two and two together " your name is Gwen " Wade asked " ya why unless I don't exist in this world Peter should know who I am I mean we're practically best friends Yea um about that " Peter got up and jumped out the window and went on the roof Deadpool right behind him " baby boy" a tear came down his face Wade immediately comforting Peter " Peter I can't say your gonna be alright but u can handle this No I can't she was my first love Wade that's not something that I can just push off u always tell me not to worry when u get hurt do u no why I worry so much Wade Um not exactly That's my point u put getting hurt off as something that just happens and u come home all the time like that I worry because I love you and I don't want to lose some body I care about like that because of Gwen's death I stopped being Spider-Man for 5 months and I can hardly last a minute now without having to see what's going on Wade " for once which believe me it was extremely rare but Wade was lost for words and was crying at that Peter took of Wade's mask wiped his his tears Wade doing the until they were just sitting there holding each other's faces staring lovingly into there eyes then they both leaned in and kissed they were kissing gently Peter's lips were soft as well as Wade's smiling as they kissed " WADE-- HOLY SHIT well that's something for a cha - oh I ruined a moment didn't I sorry I'll just go WAIT why'd u freak out like that Oh well in my world you were dating Mary Jane but u two broke up because of Sam do u hate Sam and don't talk to either of them then all crazy out of no were u started dating Harry but then Wade came and was super crazy in love with u but u weren't into him like that just kinda friends but Harry knew that Wade was hanging out with u so much to ware off on u and then when u to got close enough he would try to start something but Harry was always getting in the way and Wade and him got into a big fight over u when u were in the hospital with a bad life threatening concussion and Harry blamed it on Wade and caught him off guard a few days after u were hospitalized after u got off the phone with Peter and smacked Wade senseless and the two off u were in the hospital What me get busted up like that Wait hold on mind u neither of u have powers but it still shocked everyone when u passed out cause on a normal u would have killed someone for Peter I mean u kinda killed flash in middle school a year after u and Peter met but didn't get blamed for it because there was no evidence not even one connection and u didn't tell Pete until graduation but anyways u and Peter's relationship stopped because Harry told u that he tried to stab him and got a whole bunch of people to agree that it happened and Wade was sent to juvie until he broke out and was on the run during 9 grade trying to hunt down Harry but when he found Harry he had hanged u Wade some how managed to get u down without him nothing until he saw the two of u and hang u off the roof and dropped u Wade tried to get u and he had u but u slipped out his hand he had me in some sort of giggle gas that passed me out cold and ever since Wade blames him self and Harry and Wade are in a mental institution Harry was crazy yeah but the only reason Wade was in there was because the only words he could say for months were your last words "sorry "until he made a break threw just to see Harry again and one busted lip later Wade hang himself " at this point Gwen was tearing up u could hear it in her voice then she took her mask off " I went throw therapy because one bye one I was losing the people I cared about and I could have saved them but hardly new what I was doing so I would never be there to stop it and that's the only reason that I try to run strong Peter was the only person that new about out and the reason he was in the hospital was because he had gotten jealous and injected him self with the lizard scrum to try and get powers I guess I almost killed him in the process by throwing him off a building in battle but go him in time and to be honest that's not the craziest thing that happened to me not even this is in had a lot a shit happen to me but I guess I gotta live with it your turn What Your turn tell me what happened to your Gwen It doesn't even measure up with yours but Harry had turned into the goblin and thrown u down off a skyscraper and right there I had caught u but the jolt broke your neck and u died i quit being Spider-Man for a while and just stopped caring but stuff happened Wow is Wade ok What um Wade Wade WADE!!!! I could die Wade I could die I never had this done to me I -am -in -shock ya listen um if any more spider themed people come call me I'm going inside Ok Hay Peter Ya U really care for him don't u Ya definitely I'm happy for u to see that I didn't fail to see a still sane Peter is a bonus to I guess Ya even though I'm still a little freaked out it good seeing u again "they hug and then go inside were there was a knock on the door Wade opened it the young man then going to say " so that's what u look like under your mask Deady buddy What Never mind were is the Spider-Man on this world Um Pete Gwen Noir Kain " all of them came downstairs " woa guess I'm not the first one like I thought I mean I did pass some spidies on the way here but wow just wow So let me guess your a younger version of Peter " the boy looked at Peter and gasping takes of his mask" woa "The boy walked up to Peter and held out his hand " Miles Maralis " the boy smiled and then looked down sadly " you know in my world u died " he said slowly looking up at Peter Am I alive in anyone's universe I got no idea Now that were on the subject how'd I die in your universe U died saving some people at school a couple of villains had come to mid town high and try to lore me in to capture me u stood up to them and got shot at after at least a five minute fight against Deadpool which u not being experienced was pretty good a had just gotten my powere but couldn't get up two it and I still beat myself up for it but less now knowing that I've come a long way from that day and Deadpool has always and forever my greatest accomplishment foe till I die that is but I'm kinda his match for know cause he was in an relationship with Peter but Wade was under a controlling device and It always gets to him like they we fight and I get badly hurt me hell just break down crying or when ever he kills some one which is the number one reason he he call in unaliveing someone Wade u do that to why do u not say the k word Um it's a Mental thick from after I was put threw the weapon ex program I they did some stuff hade my mouth sewn shut they had altered my eyes to shoot out lasers and I could teleport thanks to an advice but I still use that as an reminder and like wolverine who I was being controlled to fight had to long ass sword that came from my knuckles but after everything blew up my healing kicked in and it had token away everything that had happened because of them except the memories I liked to unalive back then and I still like doing it now but the k word sends me into a k-Ing spree learned that one out the hard way Well then guess I no what never to say Yeah I advice that Hay how many more spidies did u see Oh a whole bunch " Peter then ca lapsed Wade caught him his face said it all as he wailed in pain Wade carried him upstairs as the others followed" Kain " Peter managed to say " what To many I can feel them there at least 26 that haven't found me and 32 fighting I can hear All there thoughts feel there mental and physical pain see we're the are but I can't see were I am I can hardly even hear my own thoughts but I can talk because they are not talking but I can barely hear u " they all went down stairs and told Wade to stay with Peter as they went off spider scence Pete screamed but obviously nothing was in harm and then Wade quickly noticed that it wasn't him talking he put his hand on Peter Peter doesn't even feel him until a good minute after when he looks at Wade and smiles his hazel eyes turning pitch black Wade stated to freak out and when Peter noticed he put his hand over Wade's to re assure him only to quickly pull it away in pain holding his stomach tears running down his face a screaming then he stop and speaks " they don't feel the pain but I do " he put his head on Wade's lap a short while later he started to gasp for air clutching his throat and crying Wade couldn't stand seeing Peter in such pain but thing after thing just kept happening and Wade was holding Peter in his arms and crying hard it had gotten so bad that if someone past out he would stop breathing for a good five minutes and if someone were struggling he would start to squirm which was when Wade had to straddle Peter them Peter regained consciousness and started to cry his eyes still darkened but every thing else was now his " there all on a roof lets go Baby boy I'm not so sure your stable enough Might as well go while I'm stable enough I still can't walk "he was still paralyzed from the waste down because all the spidies were standing Wade picked him up and jumped on the roof " wow that's a lot more spidies than what I felt there were spider powered beings going from their apartment and 12 blocks down not counting the ones in the alley ways but if you're to calculate it it would be about 17 blocks either way Pete What Shut up Pete "and every other spidie felt such a powerful shiver that u could see there spider sense which gave Peter a headache Deadpool screamed " HAY mind sitting " They sat Peter stood being were everyone was gave him all his senses back he stood all his senses except one his sight only for some strange reason seeing what someone saw but he didn't know who he yelled " everyone look at your hand still nothing he growled every one Wade rolled his eyes and looked at his hands Peter noticing right away that his eyes were Wade's eyes instantly there eyes change peters eyes cleared which Wade was happy about until he noticed the peters eyes were blue almost in a scared tone Wade said " Peter your eyes are blue What your your eyes are hazel Damn it this is exactly what shouldn't happen Why Kain Listen Peter Wade u two share your eye sight now What's wrong with that That means that what the other feels u feel and vis versa Wait that means that when u die I die with you Wade " and almost in an excited voice Wade says " that means if u die I can die with u What ya why are u so happy "He pulled Peter to the side " That means that when u die I'll die with u and we can still be together instead of me just being here and anything other that that won't get to me because are bodies and minds are still two Hello Wade "a voice said the figure jumped down in front of Wade and he notices that the person is going for a gun he does the same and they both draw them at the same time"back the fuck up BITCH " they say In unison Peter webs both ends of their guns " what the hell Stop that Stop what Repeating me fucker " they said in unison and then came to punch each other but at the same time they punched there hands both screamed the two both stumbling back because of the force they were hit with " ok that more than enough " then Peter pauses standing between the two men he closely looked at the slightly noticeable ring on his finger u would have missed it under his glove Pete looked at his own ring and he looked closely at the ring trying to find an imprint on the ring with a Deadpool symbol then he was able to find the design " what " he mistakenly said out loud and quickly Peter grabbed the guys hand and pulled off his glove almost gasping at how burnt it was he then traced over the ring "I can tell that this Wade is from your world because if he was my Wa " he stopped and stepped back " well you'll see any time now " the other Peter yelled at the portal that was opening and a figure came out and soon closed " what's up bitch Hi fucker when u planning on letting that shit go baby boy Don't fucking baby boy me Wade " both walked up to each other and then stopped " NEVER not after what happened because u don't no how to shut the fuck up I almost got killed But your didn't Not the fucking point Wade u did that shit on purpose because u wanted to annoy me and get us caught when u thought that the boss was gone and u could handle it now look look Wade fucking look at what happened look at me Wade look at me " he jumped from the roof and ran off Peter then started quietly saying thing that the other Peter was saying the other Wade listening closely to every word and almost knocked Peter out but he couldn't help it he was the only other spidie doing something else and Peter was just repeating what he was saying and before the wade#2 could punch Peter he grabbed his hand and pushed it back realizing what he was doing he apologized and grabbed Peter and Wade and pulls them in the alley way when he got there he took of his mask he had look exactly like Wade and Wade started to freak out " woa what the hell oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh Calm down Wade " Peter grabbed Wade's hand while Wade#2 had started to punch at the opposite wall " hay what was that thing about with the other me Wade number two Hi is still pissed at me found that out when he shot me purposely in the heart which took a long time to heal two day to be exact That long it usually take an hour tops Ya you'll find out that the thing u need to survive takes a while to fix itself especially when it hurt u inside and out Wait but I would never shoot or hurt somebody like that on purpose Ya will this u is mine and is closer to me than u I think I know him Ya and what was the thing Pete pie two was talking about your Peter sound hurt Ya u could hear the betrayal in his voice could u well here's what happened me and Peter have known each other since kindergarten but when we were in our early twenties we signed up for the weapon x program and came out with healing factors the thing is during this process my cancer had came out and left my healing at an equally win lose which is the reason for the majority of my scars Wow wait were did your Pete go I don't know this place is different from mine Peter come on Fine he's I don't know I can't here a heart beat Wade close your eyes What why Do it There what's so posed to happen "there eyes both turned pitch black and were forced open they said in unison " he's a few blocks down Any sign of life Still no sign " then they went back to there at the time normal state "let's go come on " Wade #2 was half way there the two boys caught up and when they banked the corner they saw Peter 2 he had been shot in the head then Peter fell to the floor that does make sense since on the way there Peter was screaming Wade Wade Wade which startled both Wades but they just kept running both Wades leaped for there Peters Wade #2" Peter Peter wake come on baby boy u got this wake up come on " I'm fine Wade U got shot what do u mean your fine Awe someone was worried Shut up Peter Ok ok I will Listen Pete I know your still mad at me but I'm sorry I really didn't mean to hurt but if u think I do I mean I kinda did u could say but I really didn't if u think about it I mean did I Wade Wade Because what I don't sigh I'm not blaming you Wait your not No it's just I know how u are very impulsive and I was expecting u to do something cause usually when u do stuff u make sure that it's ok enough I do I just misread it I know but it's still hard looking at yourself and seeing what's so posed to be there is hard Now u see how I feel but I'll always you and your ass " both boys let out a slight chuckle before looking over to the other two " he's alive he's alive Shut up Wade I'm ok not coming from the dead Ok fine lets go " they all get up and go back to the apartment

All caught up on L&L! Wow, Peirce & Rumlow are extra awful in this one. Wade may have done the town a favor if he just pulled the trigger (I bet Sam will have that thought at least 1x over the course of the remaining story). Hope is AMAZING and I love her! Definitely an intense welcome to town. Have to say for a half second when Stucky walked in and Steve doubled over, I panicked that Rumlow had somehow beat them home and something bad had happened to Tony. Then I realized what was happening! Lol. Poor Tony...and Stucky. Tony couldn't bet more wrong! Can't wait to see what happens next!!

So, I’m going to give Wade like... like one of those weirdly specific code of morals. We’ll see more of it in the Spideypool sequel to this verse, but his whole thing is basically “only people with a target on their back or a price on their head get killed” and of course that changes once (plot) happens and he realizes there’s so many other reasons why people deserve to die?? But for right now, sure he might think Pierce is despicable but the only thing that matters to Wade is business and Pierce isn’t business so he gets to live. 

I’m actually sort of surprised by how many people thought something bad had happened with Tony’s heat! I can 100% promise I wouldn’t do that to you guys or to Tony lol. That would be way too cruel 

Ice Cream (SWS #30

SUNDAYS WITH SPIDEYPOOL MASTERLIST

********************************

“Daddy, where did you go last night?” Ellie narrowed her eyes at Wade suspiciously and the Alpha froze with a big bite of cereal halfway to his mouth. 

“Uh, what?” 

“I think our daughter is asking where you scrambled off to in the middle of the night, probably because she woke up when you came flying out of the bedroom and knocked me on my ass.” Peter said calmly.

Wade grinned up at his Omega. “I apologized thoroughly for that, if I remember correctly.” 

“Not thoroughly enough.” Peter dropped a kiss on his husbands forehead. “So maybe you should work on that.” 

“I will.” Wade wiggled his eyebrows lasciviously. “Tonight.” 

“You’re avoiding the question, Daddy.” Ellie was starting to sound cross. “Where did you go?” 

“Um, Daddy had to--” Wade shoved another bite into his mouth to give him a minute to think. “Daddy had to--” 

“Did you have to save the city??” A barrel of energy dressed only in underwear and a blankie that doubled as a cape came scrambling into the kitchen, climbing Peters leg and wrapping himself securely around his waist. “I bet you did. My daddies are both superheroes!”

“Good morning, lovebug.” Peter kissed Jonah’s forehead. “I thought I told you to get dressed.” 

“I’m wearing underwear.” Jonah said, wrinkling his nose. “That’s dressed.” 

“The man has a point.” Wade shrugged. 

“Stop.” Peter sent a warning glare at his Alpha, then a less severe but still grumpy look at his youngest son. “Underwear is only the basic of being dressed. You need more clothes so we can go see Great Auntie May. Go on.” 

“Fine.” Jonah grumbled and shook his fist dramatically at the sky, looking so much like his namesake-- the indomitable J Jonah Jameson that Peter almost laughed. “Ill get clothes, but Im not happy.” 

“Alright, baby.” Peter set him down and patted his butt to send him on his way. 

“Daddy!” Ellie cried. “Avoiding the question!” 

“Last night, I had to run out and Papa some ice cream.” Wade said quickly. “He was embarrassed because he thinks hes getting fat and --” 

He ducked, shrieking, as both Ellie and Peter threw spoons at him, shouts of “my papa is not fat!” and “Wade you brat don’t you tell the kids I’m getting fat!” filling the air. 

“Wha-wha-what’s going on?” Two pairs of brown eyes, the question stammered shyly by Tessa, and nearly inaudibly echoed by her twin, Janelle. 

“Hi babies.” Peter crouched down and opened his arms, and the youngest-- and quietest-- members of their crazy family toddled into the kitchen, still in feetie pajamas, Janelle sucking at her thumb and blinking up through a riot of dark curls, and Tessa primly side stepping a spoon that had been thrown at their Daddy. 

“Nothings happening. Daddy was just calling Papa fat.” 

“Not fat.” Janelle pulled her thumb from her mouth to say and Peter grinned, smooshing a kiss onto each of their cheeks. 

“Thank you, Jannie. You want some cereal?” 

“Yep.” Tessa answered for both of them, and the twins headed for their booster seats. 

“Papa isnt fat.” Ellie narrowed her eyes at Wade. “So why did you leave?” 

At thirteen, she was the oldest, Wade’s daughter from a relationship before he had met and bonded with Peter, and was whipcord smart, mature beyond her years, and had stopped taking any of Wade’s crap by the time she was six. 

Nine year old Ben, who had been quiet during the entire discussion, blinked between his parents, chewing at his lip in thought. “Daddy. You weren’t wearing regular clothes when you went out last night. I saw you in something red and black.” 

“Well, um--” Wade sent a panicked look at Peter. They had decided to keep their hero-coded alter egos secret from the children, and it had only gotten harder once Tessa and Janelle had come along. Peter was home almost full time now, only taking a few assignments here and there for the Bugle, content to be home with his children and patching Wade up after missions, but hiding what Wade did was getting more and more difficult. Jonah didn’t really know what they did of course, his daddies were just heroes to his six year old eyes, but with Ben having a near genius level IQ and Ellie already a teenager, they wouldn’t be able to hide for very much longer. 

“Um, my red and black is um--” 

“Sometimes, Papa likes Daddy to wear certain colors.” Peter said with a shrug, putting some cereal down in front of the twins. “Ellie, you are old enough to know better than to ask about what we do when the bedroom door is lock--” 

“ALALALALALALALALALA” Ellie shrieked and covered her ears. “I don’t want to hear about what you guys do or why Daddy wears red and black! EW!” 

Ben made a face as well and went back to his food, and the twins munched away, happily oblivious of the conversation, and Jonah came skidding back into the room, mismatched socks worn proudly beneath bright orange shorts and a ratty tank top. 

“Nope.” Peter shook his head. “Nope. Jonah. Going out clothes, not staying in clothes. You’re six years old, you know better.” 

“Fine.” Jonah sulked out of the room again, and once all the children were occupied, Wade sent Peter a grateful look for his quick thinking. 

“Dont worry about it.” Peter bent to kiss Wade again. “You can add that to your list of reasons you need to be extra nice to me tonight.” 

“Extra nice.” Wade promised, puckering his lips for another kiss, humming contentedly when Peter ran his fingers lightly over his scalp. “Extra extra nice if you wear your suit for me.” 

“Wade.” Peter huffed. “You tore a hole in it last time and it was incredibly awkward asking Tony to fix it again.” 

“Please. Ol Iron Sides knows you’ve been married to me for eight years, he is well aware of why there is a hole torn there in your suit.” 

“How come you guys have only been married for eight years when Ben is nine?” Ellie asked innocently-- or not so innocently rather, a look that mirrored the most wicked of Wade’s expressions on her face. 

“Ellie.” Peter sighed and Ellie put up her hands in surrender. “Alright. Lets finish up and get going to Aunt Mays and--and-- Wade. What are you doing?” 

The Alpha didn’t answer, only buried his nose further into Peters stomach and hummed sweetly. 

“Wade!” Peter pushed at him in exasperation, lowering his voice. “We need to get going, we dont have time for this.” 

“Pete.” Wade squinted up at him. “Baby boy, do you want some ice cream?” 

“No, Wade I dont want--” Peter paused, put his hand on his stomach. “I...kind of want ice cream. Thats weird. Isnt that weird?” 

“Do you want ice cream, Petey?” Wade was grinning now, an approving rumble in his chest. “Maybe double fudge tracks with peanut butter cups?” 

“So badly.” Peter whispered, and his face went white. “Oh god.” 

“I want twins again.” Wade whispered back, and lifted Peter’s shirt to kiss the still flat tummy, the still defined muscles. “Want you all big and full of my babies, huh?” 

“Oh my god.” Peter started shaking his head. “Wade, I am not carrying twins again. I was huge last time.” 

“And so beautiful.” Wade looked close to tears and Peter gathered him close, knowing that every time they were pregnant, Wade thought about all those years that he had thought he couldn’t have kids, and now they had Ellie and four more between them and now more--

“Lets be late to Aunt Mays?” Wade asked hopefully and Peter nodded, started dragging his Alpha back to the bedroom. 

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“Daddy?” Ellie looked up with a frown when Wade left the bedroom at eleven o clock at night a few weeks later. “Where are you going?” 

“You’re supposed to be in bed, Ellie bean.” Wade frowned and pulled on his boots. “What are you doing awake?” 

“Were are you going?” she asked again, looking stubborn and adorable and so entirely him that Wade’s heart squeezed all over again. 

“Your papa wants ice cream.” he said with a short laugh. 

“I didn’t believe that excuse last time.” Ellie rolled her eyes. “Why would I believe it this time? Honestly Daddy, I’m so much smarter than you give me credit for.” 

“Wade!” Peter called from the bedroom. “Garlic bread too! Like three loaves! And Cinnamon Toast Crunch!” 

“Oh!” Ellie’s mouth dropped. “You really are going out for ice cream!” 

“Yep.” Wade sighed. “Really going out for ice cream.” 

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