something that i've been struggling to articulate but has been bothering me for a while is how some christians engage and interact with science and what i'm realizing is they have a like... almost love-bombing/discarding relationship with it. and i recognize science isn't a person and that's not literally happening but the christians that i grew up around have this relationship with science where it's real/valid/correct if it supports their side and fake/invalid/wrong if it doesn't. it's this like... engaging with science to get something from it when it can prove their point and condemning it when it doesn't. and this also ties into the belief that you, a layperson with no background in science, are more knowledgeable than actual scientists simply because you have god on your side, and therefore you can use science in whatever way you see fit, which means engaging with it in a way that is ultimately anti-science (but that also doesn't matter because god said it was okay). and it's exhausting engaging with these people for me because it's not that they believe all science bad, it's that they believe most science bad but some science good and they have the authority to determine what is bad and what is good, despite, again, not having a background in science (because what is a "background in science" to an all-knowing god that you have a personal relationship with?). the thing that is so frustrating to me is how these people recognize science is valued and use it to strengthen the validity of their points and to gain credibility while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge the validity of science as a field at all or put in any effort to understand/respect it.

honestly my real opinion on ai is not even from an ethical standpoint. my opinion on ai is that because it isn't actually artificial intelligence that is a misnomer it's not intelligent and it doesn't think it is therefore just plain not good at most of what we're currently using it for outside of like hyperspecific applications that i know nothing about and never will. it simply can't do the job man.

A sentence in Casey’s book impressed me, even though he didn't name anyone explicitly

“Maybe someone who could put on the charm when they need it regardless of sincerity could have turned the situation around but I don’t have that skill.”

He totally gets that Valentino has endless charm, lol. I’m sure he felt it too when they hung out

yes!! this was about casey and his relationship to the fans wasn't it, and in a section of the book where he was talking about his rivalry with valentino, so hardly a stretch to say it was deliberately alluding to him. and of course casey talking about valentino's charm is not unrelated to how casey did seem to like valentino perfectly fine back in the day... how he said back in 2007 that he liked talking to valentino, that they generally talked about stuff other than racing, how valentino gets on with most guys in the paddock... though it's interesting (if not particularly surprising) how by the time the autobiography is written, casey portrays the early dynamic between the pair of them pretty dispassionately. just from the book you'd get the sense of someone who was coolly respectful of valentino until valentino started pissing him off, rather than someone who was... y'know, also a bit of a fan. somebody who got the valentino rossi appeal, shall we say. we all have our crosses to bear

which, I don't even think it was just about the racing. I doubt he ever wanted to emulate valentino in the same way jorge or marc might have wanted to do off the track, but stuff like calling him a "great competitor and a great sportsman"... that for years he'd been "dreaming to be like him"... that valentino and doohan were "the sort of people I wanted to become like"... I reckon that's a little more than simply respect for him as a rider, and I don't think casey back then would have said that stuff just because he knew it'll play well with the public. he found valentino exciting, like so many before and since have done - and still did so for the entirety of 2006 (he said more recently that he was even more impressed by valentino after that season, which is kinda noteworthy given that's the year valentino did, you know, lose the title). but then they became direct rivals, and. well

of course the "regardless of sincerity" in the quote is pretty pointed lol, like he does clearly see valentino as very two-faced and willing to spin a line regardless of whether it's true or not and also as someone happy to deceive others for his own gains. and his rhetoric has also changed just a wee bit since he published the autobiography on that count, where he more recently does stress how... well, he did learn from how valentino played the media! he learned how to get friendly with journalists! he learned how to play that game, of trying to win the public discourse! he might never have liked it, and he still probably would say like in the autobiography that this "charm" "regardless of sincerity" isn't something that he'll ever be as good at as valentino was. but he did dabble in the dark arts just a touch... I think one of the most interesting tensions of that rivalry is to what extent valentino forced casey out of his comfort zone both on- and off-track and ended up making casey adopt behaviours and attitudes he continued to find reprehensible. casey considers valentino 'selfish' both on- and off-track but to fight him both on- and off-track he became more selfish in turn... very dramatically compelling

anyway, here's casey chatting to fellow aussie jb when he's come to watch the podium celebrations after one of valentino's 2005 wins:

if Henry was that keen on book accuracy for Geralt then I have to wonder why he chose to make Geralt monosyllabic in s1 which absolutely was his choice as confirmed by Joey in a post S1 video interview and by Henry himself in a print interview; the most likely scenario is that he thought he was gonna earn a shit ton of money doing Superman (and honestly I don't even blame him for that, you can't do big pretty boy action roles forever, at some point Hollywood is gonna stop calling or you're gonna injure yourself), but making out that he sacrificed himself on the altar of book accuracy is just silly.

if you put on a mask to be loved, they will love the mask, not you

if you put on a mask to be loved, the mask will drain you

if you put on a mask to be loved, the mask will ingrain itself into your identity forever, becoming part of you

if you don't put on a mask to be loved, would nobody love you?

I think it's fine if people don't want to post about palestine on tumblr. it's not like that's the pinnacle of activism, and not posting on tunglr dot com doesn't equal not caring or never talking about it anywhere or not doing anything else.

but I do think it's interesting that so many of the people I've seen ignore the genocide in palestine on here were posting about ukraine not so long ago. clearly then they wanted to talk about war and politics on tumblr. which doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about palestine, of course. but it sure is interesting.

It's very seldom my heart agrees with my mind but I know he's not coming back.

cannot emphasize HOW MUCH

Really feel like we need to be constantly reminding anyone who is still (how?) a Tory that a couple of very prominent people who want to bring back Boris are the same people who promoted Liz Truss way beyond her capabilities, possibly/apparently just to score off Sunak and because they thought she’d be a good puppet

Also that this is all Boris’ fault in the first place because he was such a disgrace to the office of PM that even the Tories decided they couldn’t stand him any more, and also the cost of living crisis was already concerning at the beginning of the summer even if Truss made it undeniably worse

I mean don’t get me wrong, from the perspective of someone who wants to see the Tory party in shreds, I’d love them to bring back Boris, but honestly the country deserves better than for that unapologetic crook to be allowed back into number 10 and the Tories can’t just play games with the public

acotar fandom stuff

Hey, just putting this out there for any new acotar followers of mine or for anyone in general that just doesn’t really know me that well yet, this blog is and always will be a ship war-free zone. (Or at least, I try my best to keep it that way.)

I have my favorites, just like everyone else (I write a lot of elriel lol) but in general, shipping and trying to “prove” one ship as more canonical than the other isn’t really something of interest to me. Not gonna lie, it used to be, but it exhausted me and didn’t make me happy, so one day I woke up and was like “you know what, it simply was never that serious” lol. I understand others might feel differently, so if you’re really passionate about it and seeing someone post about liking multiple ships pisses you off, please feel free to unfollow. 

I just wanted to set the record straight here, because I don’t want anyone feeling like I lied to them or something. But honestly, I just really genuinely like these books and any discussion about them at all is fun to me as long as it’s respectful and chill. 

If you love Elain, Nesta, and Feyre, chances are we’re bound to get along. The female characters really make this series enjoyable for me and they’re primarily who I talk about and celebrate as characters here.

Honestly, I just want to find likeminded people here who aren’t going to stoop to the misogynistic, toxic bullshit that so much of this fandom indulges in. I really wish I didn’t feel like I have to write a full-ass manifesto just to clear the air about my opinions regarding a faerie porn series, but I guess this is necessary.

Man, Webtoon sucks.

How come they have this guideline

"Intellectual Property Rights: You must own all of the copyrights and other intellectual property rights to your uploads, and your User Postings must not infringe on the copyright, trademark, or publicity right of any other party, or you must have sufficient ownership or other intellectual property rights required to upload the User Postings consistent with these terms.

Yet when users, aka readers and creators alike see AI content, gacha, avatar generators (Picrew) and others being posted in Webtoon Canvas, its allowed?

Honestly it doesn't feel safe that anyone can just shove other creator's works into an AI generator, grab other people's works in general, especially when its obvious it is done without the consent nor permission of said original artists, and several of them don't even approve for its usage that way. Oh sure thing, they can't monetize from it but surely they can be within other creators, oh, they so much want artists and original content so they can later profit out of it if it matches with their brand and bring into new users on their platform but God forbid showing the least of decency to protect it from thiefs, plagiarists and more.

The more they fill Webtoon and other platforms with AI and other stolen, plagiarized or traced content (And even worse, developing their own engines with our data), the more artists will simply walk away. It is happening with Meta, everywhere they want to implement or allow AI, artists will complain, authors will complain, writers will complain. We are all complaining at the moment, and honestly, this makes me want to start telling my friends and other creators to leave Webtoon because they keep on adding to their list of constant direspect towards Creatives.

This issue happened with the Webtoon LATAM staff when I reported an AI generated series. I foound out about it because its "author" was sharing it in a facebook group, guess how that post was going? AWFULLY, every artist suggesting the person to switch to writing a Novel, hire an artist or draw the comic themselves, especially if they even want to see some kind of income for their so called "Great novel of 20 volumes that has been on the work for more than a decade"

facts about The Fear, after 20 years of life with her

The Fear is NOT:

an intruder, invader, or some other entity from "outside" You

inappropriate, wrong, or incorrect

a responsibility

a punishment

"irrational" or otherwise able to be understood through a relationship to "rationality"

an "inaccurate" representation of reality

The Fear IS:

an innate part of you

extra-rational—she exists outside and completely independent from "rationality" and does not respond to being judged according to that lens

self-love—her purpose is to protect you and keep you safe

self-sufficient—fear is a 100% whole, complete entity that doesn't "represent" or "reflect" something else

earnest—fear is always a 100% real experience that is exactly as it is felt, and, needing no comparison or reference to any external reality, it is not "dishonest" or "inaccurate"— it asserts a claim about only itself

subversive [not quite the word I am looking for but it will have to do]— is not necessarily beholden to social and cultural norms of what should be feared, how much, and how you should respond. She does not stop existing in the absence or suppression of vocabulary to describe her.

a demand for care— she does not just communicate to you but to the community you are part of; she calls attention to an obligation that this community has toward you, to make sure that you are safe within it and that your experiences are heard and understood.

yeah, so, i've had severe anxiety for my whole life and the way it's been treated and dealt with, and the way I've been taught to understand it, has really fucked me up so I am trying to lay the groundwork for understanding it differently

I think it's pretty fucked up that we're taught to see anxiety as deceptive or inaccurate. Now, obviously the images or projections in my fearful thoughts do not usually "reflect reality," but I have come to see this as...not particularly important?

Teaching an anxiety sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict "irrational" fear is, in my opinion, the same as teaching a chronic pain sufferer to restructure their thoughts to dismiss and contradict pain with no clear physical source. You might as well speak of "irrational" pain, and pain has the same relationship to rationality that fear has.

"Irrationality" is a quality assigned to fear that is judged by an outside observer, or by the collective cultural biases and hang-ups of a society, as not appropriate to a given situation. This is total fucking nonsense and we should be talking about that, because...well, the first reason is that it implies some kind of fixed standard for what fear ultimately is and isn't for. i like to tell people to watch one of those Coyote Peterson videos where he's going to get a tarantula hawk wasp to sting him, because he's obviously having a strong physical fear response, even though he knows it won't kill him. Is it "rational" to fear suffering and not just death? How much suffering? Sit with that one a little while.

The second reason, which is even more convincing, is that the "rational" brain is not consulted at any point, ever, when a person feels afraid. It's just a response. The fear response is not routed through the conscious, sapient, reasoning brain. And thank God, because if we needed to hear back from an upstairs executive before we could decide whether to run from a lion, our species would be extinct.

Techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy were absolute fucking shit at making my life any better, but fantastic at wrecking my ability to identify my own emotions, because Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety basically amounts to trying to brainwash yourself into thinking you don't feel the emotions that you do. It's a really neat way to develop bizarre psychosomatic symptoms and start experiencing anxiety through constant body pain, swollen lymph nodes, and digestive issues.

For an institution that pathologizes having "alters," psychiatry sure loves to encourage a suffering person to view normal and ultimately good parts of themselves as distinct, intruding entities to be shoved in a closet somewhere.

And yes. Fear is ultimately a good part of you, a part of you that loves you.

What began to set me free was feeling that acid terror and sickness and rage course through my body and realizing—really realizing—that I was being illuminated with this ancient, powerful force driving me to LIVE.

I want us to make it. I want you to live.

And you know what, I want me to live too.

I abandoned the doctrine of calming down—Lord knows it had never worked anyway—and started really just exploring and existing in the Fear.

How did that feel? Bad. Very very very very very bad and really not productive or helpful at all initially. Which was unavoidable. Necessary. She had been frantically clawing to communicate with me for so long, and I had been shutting her away, silencing her, resenting her presence in my psyche. I started trying to show gratitude toward the signals my body gave me. I started trying to show gratitude toward her—and i guess the Fear was a Her now, this just seemed more respectful.

And it seemed like nothing happened, but several things happened.

I stopped searching for validation. That was a big one. At some point I just...stopped needing a "reason" or justification for the fear I felt (trauma???? neurodivergence???? neurodivergence trauma????) and the fact that I experienced it became completely sufficient and satisfying to me. So much guilt and confusion disappeared.

I also became steadily more confident about my own boundaries, particularly in regards to recovery.

It's awful now that I think about it, but I think I felt this sense of almost moral obligation towards "recovery," as if I needed to "overcome fear" to be Courageous and Virtuous. It made me feel crushing guilt to feel any hesitation about this.

But then this started to change. It became more real to me that was the only person affected by the steps I did or didn't take toward recovery, and there was no moral dimension to it. A therapist couldn't put me in a box I wouldn't willingly go into.

Freedom from these judgmental frameworks is really important to me. I think that I always hated the idea of getting "better" because it seemed like "better" would mean just getting better at submitting to things I was afraid of while everything felt just as bad as it always did on the inside.

And on some level—even though I could never put it into words at the time—I violently hated the idea of "recovery" from some of my fears because it seemed like the ultimate denial of agency. I didn't want to "become okay with it"—the possibility felt dehumanizing. It felt awful.

And I realize now that this is because The Fear represented something I needed to have a right to. Many of my most life-destroying fears centered around things being done to my body, and if I could have pressed a button and been no longer afraid, I wouldn't have, even though it would have spared me so much suffering, because...I needed it to be okay to want agency over my body. I needed it to be right. The Fear, in this case, was a demand that my body be treated as sacred.

I realized that there were many cases where The Fear was a territorial claim of sorts, a demand that certain needs be honored and met—She needs this. This is FUCKING non-negotiable.

And it really...prompted me to look backward on my life and see The Fear differently: not as a responsibility I had failed to shoulder (me?? a little child??? responsible?? Responsible for being brave, when every day felt like facing a firing squad?????) but as a collective responsibility

Because I was not alone in those memories—I was surrounded by adults that saw me suffering, and often dismissed, ignored or ridiculed it. The Fear grew larger and larger; why?—to protect me. Because teachers, nurses, doctors, and camp counselors did not do any of the thousand thousand things they could have done to make that little girl feel safe. Because my well-meaning parents praised me when I was "brave" but I, a little kid, literally couldn't communicate how awful it always felt.

The Fear was not there to torture me. The Fear was and is doing her best to keep me safe. It's not wrong, there's no need for guilt. It just is.

It doesn't feel good. But maybe one day it will feel better.

🍯Astrology Notes🍯

🪴Virgo rising- are very caring people. They take great care to ensure that you have everything you need, especially for your health. They will be able to tell you a lot about various medicines.

🌱Gemini rising- funny as fuck sometimes. They are people who talk and don't stop. You can discuss all possible topics with them if you want. They have a very open mind. But when it comes to being able to do something, sometimes they are not so open to new things. Let's say one difference between them and Sagittarius is that they are not traveling types and they don't like to travel that much.

💫You will feel most comfortable talking to people with whom you have the same compatible moon and mercury in your house. for example: mercury in the 9th house and the other person has mercury in the 1st house. With this you can see what topics you can discuss with others.

🪐People who has saturn in 1st house looks better when they are skinnier. Because their bones and body structure are more beautifully emphasized. Many times they can have weight problems(they can quickly lose weight from worry).

🍀Earth signs look very down to earth even when they are joking around. Even when they make a crazy joke, they still look down to earth.

🐚Scorpios quickly stop trusting you. You just have to do one thing and they are done trusting you. When they see that you are dishonest to them in any kind of way, they will not trust you anymore. Especially when they get to know someone from the beginning and notice that they didn't tell them something or hid something from them, and as I said, it could be just one small thing like say you're going to say you're eating pizza, but in reality you're eating hamburger. It is small lie. But this is sometimes also one of the reasons why pisces and scorpio don't go so well together. Because pisces tend not to say everything while scorpios are. Many times, pisces swim off into their fantasy world and sometimes get lost in it. Scorpios are always looking for the truth in everything. I have seen successful Scorpio/Capricorn couples many times.

🍁Fire signs are actually very active people. So you have to prove them love with actions. They want to see how much you are willing to do for them and how much you are willing to risk. When you go beyond your limits and do something really crazy for them, they will really appreciate it.

💷2nd house represents your money & 8th house where you invest money. The 2nd house reflects your underlying relationship to money and patterns around money are often deeply ingrained. With the Moon in Cancer here, your emotional wellbeing rises and falls with your bank balance, both of which may be subject to flux. You can be a rags-to-riches success, but with Saturn in the 2nd you might always feel poor, the millionaire who still buys the budget range at the supermarket. The 8th house is concerned with debt and our relationship to institutions which provide loans, mortgages, and overdrafts. Capricorn on the cusp of the 8th suggests paying your dues and insisting on a proper contract, Sagittarius here you can invest a lot in travel or even illegal things.

☀️The Sun is the central flame of our vitality. Acting according to your Sun sign and engaging in activities denoted by the house it occupies are important ways to increase your energy and vigour. For instance, with Sun in the 1st, you might need time alone in order to recoup your energies - the presence of others can drain you, Or with Sun in the 6th, maybe you like to spend spare time working in the garden or catching up on DIY. The Sun in Sagittarius might mean you like to explore far afield; if in Aquarius maybe you like to holiday with a group of friends. Sun in Scorpio- working in the shadows or researching something no one knows about is best for you. Sun in 7th house you like to devote a lot of your time to your partner.

🧸Some signs are naturally more work-oriented and some more suggestive of needing a slower pace. Capricorn (or its ruler Saturn) is often highlighted in the charts of anyone with a strong work ethic - by contrast, Leo, Libra, or Pisces might engender a bit more need for time off, to play, relax, or dream. Each Zodiac sign has its ideal gap year or holiday. The fire signs might favour adventure breaks, the air signs a chance to meet new faces, the earth signs maybe an eco-trip; and the water signs a sojourn by the sea or in quiet, restful places.

🩰The IC and the 4th house describe home, both as a physical place and as an inner sense of roots, safety, and foundation. If you have Jupiter in the 4th, it might feel natural to you to travel around or you might even choose to live abroad - or with Uranus here, you may experience many changes of home(many unexpected moves). With the Sun or Moon in the 4th, you might be so strongly connected to home and homeland that uprooting yourself will not be easy - your Sun here suggests your life revolves around home in some way, the Moon that your emotional wellbeing is closely tied to it. With Pluto you can feel that your home is intense and that you are always transforming through it (but it can also leave bad memories). With Mercury can mean that you change your home a lot. With Mars you may feel that your home is often chaotic or aggressive and you are looking for a home where you can become independent. With Neptune many times your home is confusing, strange. Many times you find your ideal place somewhere by the ocean. With Venus your home is loving, genuine and you have loving parents to whom you love to return. But it can involve a lot of money or love based on it. So you can feel that your parents never really appreciated you if you didn't have money.

🧚🏼‍♀️About Aquarius: I want to say one thing about them. I would say that if they really really want they will do it. But most likely they are independent people & lost souls sometimes. I think that they are scared of attachment. So that's why they are rather alone. They are looking for someone. Who will be goofy as they are.

💌I think Valentine's Day is for Libras. Libra is a sign of love, romance,beautiful things. And if any sign is inclined to & like to celebrate this day, it's definitely the Libra. But I find it a little strange that it is in Aquarius season.

💘Cupido is definitely a Sagittarius sign. Although people don't believe that Sagittarians are so loving and romantic, but they really are. Cupido shoots into the hearts of people who are meant to be together. If you hit a sagittarius deep in the heart with your love, then you can see the true side of them. Then you can see how loving they are.

🌅The people you attract into your life are usually connected to your North Node.For ex.: North node in Virgo in your 8th house- you will mostly be attracted to people who have a virgo placements, scoprpio placements, or pisces/ taurus placements.

🌊Pluto symbolizes power in whatever house it is. The power you feel in yourself and the people around you. Strong experience of feelings. For ex.: 5th house - privacy, romance, jealousy, strong emotions, strong happiness, attitude towards the things you do, you feel strong love, devotion. Obsession with changing partners maybe or affairs idk. 6th house - obsessed with perfection, control, work, high expectations. 7th house - you attract a lot of possessive partners, obsession with your partner, but at the same time you can be afraid to get into a relationship, mistrust. 8th house rulership- curious, constant control, secrets, power over your secrets, emotional transformations, many dark things, connection with birth and death, great interest in hidden things. 10th house - people can see you as a strong opponent, driven for a career, they can see you as a person who has a lot of secrets, you can present people with challenges. Big influence.

-Rebekah🧚🏼‍♀️🩰🌙

𝐓𝐨 𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

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CONTENT : Fem/Tiefling Tav | P in V Sex | Oral (M & F Receiving) | Age Difference | Anxious Zevlor (poor, poor oathbreaker) | Tiefling Party ! (yay!) | Making Love | Confessions/“I love you”s | Creampie ✌🏻

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"My dear, surely you don't want to waste this party speaking with an old paladin?"

The younger tiefling's tail swayed behind her, like a coy kitten – a swish, swish, of subtle annoyance. Her brows furrow, and Zevlor almost wants to laugh at her blatantly obvious distaste toward his words.

Until, he doesn't. Because her next words, barrel into his chest like a freight train.

"There are things we can do besides speak, then." And she's serious. Completely, intently.

He can't catch his breath, splutters and stumbles – his wine, fortunate to still swill within its chalice confines. With a cough, and an uneasy chuckle, he offers a light, but dishonest shake of his head.

"You don't like me?" She asks, disheartened – and, painfully so. Her eyes have softened, expression twisting with regret. Zevlor panics.

Panics a little too much. An admittance falling all too hastily from his mouth, "I do! I really do. Since the very moment you set foot through that gate.."

Light, within her eyes once more. Still, she remains wordless, awaiting further explanation. Such, she deserves, he supposes.

"It's just.." A pause, "It's been a while."

Her hands unexpectedly find his, being careful not to tip his drink for a second time, "I don't mind. I want you, Zevlor."

As if there weren't enough heat, torturously lingering between them already..

Her words, the very smallest grace of her touch, sends blood rushing below. To where it shouldn't be, arguably, but it's there all the same. And it's dizzying. Zevlor opens his mouth to once again force her away, lips parting. Yet, what leaves is a quiet, "Then, please."

With a tug, she's dragging him out, away from the vicinity of camp – whipping past watchful, knowing eyes. For a brief, brief moment, Zevlor wishes to disappear. That's until he's tumbling backward onto a bedroll, grass licking at his ears, as her mouth finds his.

And, by the Gods does she taste incredible. Sweet, like ambrosia. Like every piece of Elturel, of what he'd lost, returning to him in one, fell swoop.

His hands settle on her waist, thumbs tracing circles against her clothed skin. Her hand, on a horn – tracing the ridges with an adventurous fingertip. The other, is already palming him – earning an unrestrained, whimpering sound.

He's never been wanted like this.

"Patience," He murmurs, as she breaks for air, "I want to savour every bit of this.. if you'll let me."

She considers, before giving a small, affirming nod – "How do you want me? This is your night."

With a shred of mustered confidence, he succeeds in rolling her onto her back – beneath him, as he had been for her. Hunger, need, dances within her irises.

"No, my love, it is not.. you're our hero, after all. And, I'd like to taste you." His fingers hook beneath the waistband of her camp garments, slipping them down with ease. She doesn't wear underwear to bed, it seems.

Or perhaps, this was an exception for him. That thought, only made him all the more hard – near painfully so. He neglects his own needs for now, parting her legs with gentle encouragement.

Zevlor dips his head, being mindful of his horns, nose burying in her cunt with no sense nor need of patience – his tongue, quick to gain a taste of her. The sweetness of her forces a guttural growl rumbling from the back of his throat, and her hips arch – one hand back, upon a horn. The other, nestling in his hair.

He's slow, to begin with, tongue swirling her clit with expert technique, and with patience. His resolve is strong, until his name whines past her lips – hips rolling. Then, and only then, does he further his pace, the pressure of his tongue increasing tenfold. His name, again, again, again.

"Zevlor," She moans, cries, "Zevlor, I can't–"

“You can, my heart,” He lifts his head, only for a split-second, “Cum for me, be good.”

A few, additional, incoherent murmurs pour from her mouth – until a flurry of gasps, and pitched moans interject, her orgasm riding mercilessly through every nerve and limb. Zevlor steadies her shaking thighs with a tight, yet not harsh, grip – lapping up her juices, supping one, last taste.

Zevlor grant her a moment – peppering kisses up, down her thighs as her breathing steadies to a regular pace once more, despite the occasional hitch as his teeth graze her skin.

“You did so well,” He praises, following her unspoken lead, as she guides him against a nearby tree – sinking to her knees, “You.. you don’t have to do this, my girl.”

She doesn’t reply, but rather ignores him, the cold night air of spring breathing against his cock as it’s pried free – sending a shudder, coursing through him. Her thumb runs over the ridges, that line the length of his shaft, and he almost buckles – clawed fingers grasping at tree bark to re-steady himself. The notion earns a small, adorable breath of a laugh from her, before the entirety of him disappears within the cavern of her mouth. Her tongue teases the tip, cheeks squeezing the length of him. He could’ve cum at the snap of her fingers, at the first, instantaneous press of her tongue against his cock. But he holds back.

Her efforts are swift, clear that her favour was merely in order to prepare him for her. Prepare herself, to take him. She releases him with an audible ‘pop!’, and gazes up at Zevlor – doe-eyed, pupils blown wide with blaring desire. “How do you want me?” An echo, of a question she’d prior asked, before he was gifted the taste of her. The divine taste of her.

Zevlor’s head is reeling, and there’s an unintentional silence as he considers his options. The colour in his cheeks darkens, “Would it be.. old-fashioned of me, to ask for missionary?” A following silence, accompanied by her smile, “I just.. I want to see your face, my girl. My pretty girl.” His hand, caresses her hair upon the words that leave him, and her eyes briefly flutter.

“No,” She replies, catching his wrist, and pressing a kiss to the inner-side – “I think that’s lovely, Zevlor.”

Her words are cemented, as she’s on her back once more – her shirt rid from her body, rolled and placed beneath the small of her back as a makeshift pillow, leaving her bare before him. His breath catches in his throat, admiration ghosting across his expression. Lowering, their hands conjoin in aiding Zevlor out of his armour – his gaze cast aside, shy.

“You’re incredible,” She breathes, hands now tracing the expanse of his stomach, bumping over the ridges that adorn his skin – mirroring those on his cock. His eyes squeeze shut, still shy, but he smiles.

“Are you ready, my heart?” He then asks, clinging to the courage that allows him to look in her eyes, allows him to cup her cheek – thumb running over visible freckles that littered her skin. She nods, tail winding around his leg. Zevlor swallows, thickly, his tail mimicking her own – spreading her legs as it wound.

“I hope your tail speaks truth,” He utters, as he lines himself with her slick, pleading entrance, “I wish for nothing more than to be your mate. Beyond this moment.”

“It does,” The words are spoken in a sharp gasp, as he sheathes himself inside, her walls fluttering graciously around his cock – “I’m yours, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever,” He pants, hips pistoning at a far quicker, and harder, pace than he’d anticipated, forehead coming to rest against hers – horns gently bumping, “Forever, my heart.”

Her moans slip into tandem with his thrusts, and she clings to him in any way she possibly can – cunt, impossibly tight around his cock, nails pressed into his skin, tail still wound around him. The sounds of their sex is embarrassingly loud, unrestricted. Zevlor’s name rolls off of her tongue like a prayer, and he can’t see himself lasting much longer.

To which, he announces, voice cracking, breaking, “I won’t.. I’m not going to last..”

“Then, don’t,” Is quipped in reply, in speedy succession, a kiss pressed to his lips – “Cum for me. Cum inside me.”

Zevlor’s eyes widen, the knot that coiled within his abdomen beginning to snap, “You’re sure?” – the question is strangled from his throat, hips still driving relentlessly into her.

“Yes,” She whines, “Yes, yes, yes, just– please.”

And who is he, if not a man, living to please his partner? Zevlor allows himself to tip, or rather crash, over the precipice – filling, spilling his seed into her with a shuddering cry of release.

They remain, for a minute or three, within one another’s embrace – kisses planted upon Zevlor’s shoulder, before her lips are stolen by his, tongues dancing in perfect unison.

“I love you,” Zevlor rasps, before interrupting himself with yet another, sloppy kiss, “I love you so much, my darling.”

“I love you too, Zevlor.”

If it's not too much trouble would you mind sharing more on your thoughts about AJ? Esp the line she shouted at Rarity and her "struggle with sexual identity" I'm kind of new so I would like to hear more! Does Rarity also struggle with sexual identity and fearing AJ would leave? I love the family oriented person A and the business inclined and impressed by shiny new things person B trope

Ok, this is gonna get into head canons and personal opinions.

The writing in Rollercoaster of Friendship (and EQG as a whole) is much simpler and more stripped down in comparison to FiM (most likely to appeal to a younger audience; don't want to seem like I'm dissing the writers), but that one confrontation made me sit up in my seat because it carries the entire special.

More under the cut cuz I don't want MLP analyses clogging up my blog.

For one, we've seen AJ get frustrated and angry about the same exact conflict over a girl in FiM (Rara), establishing a pattern. And even though she's right (her friend really is being manipulated), I read both cases as her acting out in jealousy too. Here's this girl who she's felt a unique attachment to being "taken away" and changed by someone new. This is most apparent in RoF; the moment Vignette introduces herself, kisses Rarity on both cheeks, and establishes herself as Rarity's "new best friend," AJ immediately reacts with shock, betrayal, and boldfaced jealousy (made even worse when Rarity forgets her during introductions). Although AJ acts independent, she's actually very emotionally dependent on certain people in her life.

If we come into this with the assumption that AJ has romantic feelings for Rarity –– which is a normal assumption given the director/writer confirmed the special was written as a romantic drama between the two –– AJ's line is all the more heartbreaking. If I may slip into fictional speculation: your crush is no longer listening or paying attention to you, even though you know something is wrong and that she's getting hurt. Your frustration at her lack of awareness is really your anger at her lack of care –– she doesn't care about you anymore. So in a fit of rage, in your big, dramatic confrontation, just to make her look at you, react at you, feel how she's been making you feel all day –– unwanted and unspecial –– you hurt her back. AJ yells, "You're not special!" and Rarity cries.

And what really gets me is that AJ lies. In this moment, she lies that Rarity's not special when (again, assumption of romance) she's the most special person in the world to her. So special that she's placed all her feelings of self-assurance and security on their relationship. So special that the moment their relationship is shaken and she doesn't know to recover it –– recover herself –– she lashes out, acts against her character, and says something dishonest just to hurt the girl she loves.

(Honestly, rewatching this special, AJ is so insecure and attention-needy. The way she pouts and slouches and lags behind the group and says, "Never mind. It's nothing," when asked what's wrong is textbook "please pay attention to me and ask me what's wrong because i need a reason to be honest about feelings i know i should be ashamed of" behavior.)

I think AJ's insecurities (which could be tied to her lack of experience with romantic relationships) reveal how she has a tendency to misattribute and redirect anger onto the person she cares most about (see Simple Ways as well, where she's caught on the opposite end of a jealousy spat). This could easily become a very toxic trait, but AJ grows past it. Near the end of RoF, the two come together and apologize. AJ recognizes her entitlement and confesses her insecurities about their relationship. She felt hurt and attacked when her status as Rarity's best friend/girlfriend was threatened because it's a role she uses to self-identify –– if Rarity isn't hers, she loses part of her identity. And she admits that she thought her motivation was to protect Rarity, but really she was just being selfish and protecting herself. Rarity was busy and stressed and needed someone to lean on just as much AJ needed her. She isn't AJ's emotional support girlfriend, and it wasn't right to expect her to be one.

(Which is why Rarijack is peak because throughout both series, they repeatedly show just how important honesty, open communication, and trust is in maintaining, supporting, and growing a romantic relationship.)

Thoughts on Omeluum vs the Emperor

I love that Omeluum exists as a character for many reasons. It's a fantastic character, even given the very small role it plays in the story. It gives us a context that sets up the reveal of the Emperor later, the idea an illithid can (and would likely want to) escape from the Grand Design. It's also just a good person who genuinely wants to help people and cares deeply about his research (and implied possibly romantic) partner, Blurg. But, unlike the Emperor, it is very distinctly illithid. It doesn't behave in a human manner. It doesn't speak in a human manner, it doesn't emote in a human manner. It doesn't feel in a human manner. But it is a good person. It doesn't need to be at all human to be a good person. It is undeniably illithid in everything about it, but it defies the social structure that Elder Brains impose on illithid and therefore does not reflect the values we might expect from an illithid. It's not manipulative. It's not dishonest. It never hides who or what it is or what its intentions are. It's not selfish. In fact, it will try to convince you to save Duke Ravengard in the Iron Throne, at the expense of its own life, because it knows the Duke has more of a capacity to help people than it does. But it never becomes more "human". It doesn't need to. Because it doesn't have to be human to be a good person. Compare that to the Emperor, who constantly insists how different he is from other mind flayers, who constantly compares himself and the player character. He speaks, emotes, and acts very human. He still considers himself to be the same person he was before his ceremorphosis. But he is a bad person. He is manipulative. He is dishonest. He lies to the player character constantly, never giving them the whole truth and, when lies don't work, he resorts to threats, then outright violence. And he is, more than anything, selfish. He cares more about preserving his own life than anything and will betray even those closest to him in order to do so. He kills first and rationalizes it afterwards. Despite not being a slave to an Elder Brain, he is everything the Grand Design desires that illithid should be, save for obedient, though he's more than willing to submit to the Absolute the second he feels like his life could be in danger from not doing so. It gives great insight to him as a character and the way that, in basically all things, he acts the way that benefits him, then finds a way to justify it afterwards, both to others and to himself. He didn't tell you he was a mind flayer because you would have killed him. Except that, from your interaction with Omeluum, he could have clearly seen you wouldn't have. He insists that his constant manipulation is just his nature, yet we clearly see with Omeluum that that nature is not set in stone and does not have to be manipulative to the point of maliciousness. It's not being a mind flayer that made Balduran this way, it was his own personality. Which is why he desperately wants the player to make the same choices he did, to agree that they are the same. He's convinced himself he was forced into every horrible decision of his life or that it was inevitable. Which is why he gets so upset when you deviate from the path he himself took. Because you, like Omeluum, prove that it wasn't nature that made the Emperor, it was conscious choices that he tries to retroactively justify. Ironically, if you don't buy into his lies, he eventually tells you he'll resort to force to make you "accept your potential". He needs so badly to believe you would make his mistakes that he'd force you to.