ROUND 4A, MATCH 1 OUT OF 2!

*Includes the original 1950 animated film, the 2002 sequel Cinderella II: Dreams Come True, and the 2007 sequel Cinderella III: A Twist in Time.

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Disney's Cinderella:

she is very iconic, she is super kind and has a beautiful dress

Submitting specifically because Cinderella III: A Twist in Time has lived rent-free in my head ever since I was a small child.

This Cinderella is most young (western) peoples introduction to this very story. Cinderella is so hopeful and by getting one small magical adventure, her whole life changes for the better. She is skilled and inspires such loyalty with her kindness that it’s hard to dislike her for any reason she gives. I’ve always been jealous of her ball hairdo too.

Walt Disney put all he had into this movie. And his favorite animation was the dress transformation scene. There’s a reason she is often front and center on the Princess group promotions.

she is the original. to me. probably the first exposure to cinderella for a solid chunk of people alive & on tumblr today. she is just a perfect encapsulation of everything that cinderella is, even if she's become warped in the public consciousness. also i'm pretty sure she's the reason why the glass slippers are so predominant in more recent retellings bc she is simply so iconic. 100/10 no notes 💜

She's maybe not the OG OG but she was one of the first animated Disney princesses and strangely enough it doesn't stop her from having an amazing personality. She's literally a slave but keeps being a nice person, forgiving and always doing her best. And the sequels absolutely didn't ruin her character. She's a sweet girl who tries to fit in but who's loyal to the person she is and who tries to change things always in a cute and sweet way to show people it's not that hard. She literally forgave Anastasia and tried to help her after all she did to her (the scene where the step-sisters destroy her dress still is terrifying to me)... she's awesome and deserves more recognition honestly...

(Mod's note: the following submitted specifically for Cinderella III: A Twist in Time, but I condensed the animated movies into one entry.) No she is not the same as the original Cinderella of 1950. This girl’s biggest chance was unfairly snatched away from her. When the Prince was brainwashed she was enough to get him to double take. She was so Right that their connection over powered magic. And she had to be rescued from a ship. And was almost crushed within a pumpkin! And finally had to expose another imposter, who turned out to be just another victim of Lady Trameine. This Cinderella fought harder for her love because she knew what True Love was like and she still was able to forgive those who asked for it.

(Mod's note: the following submitted specifically for Cinderella III: A Twist in Time, but I condensed the animated movies into one entry.) Listen yes it's the same Cinderella from 1950 but she has an arc in this one! It's Disney's greatest film!!

Listen I love them both but the animated Cinderella definitly shine in every single movie she has. And she has 3.

Vote for Cinderella because she deserves it and is still underrated in the Disney Princesses Franchise when she survived so much (ab*se... Lady Tremaine still terrifies me and she doesn't even have magical powers except when she steals the magic wand in Cinderella 3) Also one vote for Cinderella is one jump outside the window Henri is ready to do. Yes it's real.

Disney animated the original fairytale but definitely made it more magical and less creepy (like the birds making the step sisters blind? It gave me nightmares for ages). If I think: which one will I want to rediscover multiple times? Disney's Cinderella. Plus Cinderella 3 is a masterpiece.

Mofurun as "Mofurella"

listen. they do an episode where they're all sucked into Cinderella and they make the trans teddy bear Cinderella. Incredible story writing, 10/10, no notes.

Mofurdella is even plot relevant, that episode is how they get the Rainbow Carriage for their group attack anyway MOFURDELLA FIRST CINDERELLA PRECURE EPISODE TO GET ONE MOFURILLION VOTES

Choose your favorite!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

Atlantis: The Lost Empire:

The whole movie is just top tier good shit. One of the top best underrated Disney movies with a great twist on who is bad. Ahead of its time. Plus Leonard Nimoy as the king???

I love the music, I love the adventure, and Helga Sinclair is an excellent villain. Not to mention such a strong cast.

Legitimately one of the most fascinatingly original animated films ever made, with not only a unique art style, but a cast of incredible and diverse characters all written with genuine heart and personality. I personally memorized what I call "Milo's Rant" for a drama monologue project in high school, and it still stands as one of my favorite scenes in ANY movie to this day.

The art style is amazing and it is one of my favorite stories. It was one of my favorite childhood movies and still is my favorite now. My favorite scene has to be the end fight scene in the volcano, though the "ENGLAND MUST NEVER MIX WITH FRANCE" line from Mole still makes me chuckle.

Megamind:

The memes on that guy! Also very likely one of Tumblr's most iconic movies. There's just great stuff in there and I want to rewatch the damn thing now.

The animation is great, the dialogue is INCREDIBLE, its an utterly fantastic deconstruction of the superhero genre, it is CRIMINALLY underrated, and i love it with every facet of my being (: Also my favorite scene is probably "PRESENTATION!!!" Seriously, i CANNOT overstate how awesome this scene is. Its perfect in SOOOOOO many ways!!!

PRESENTATION!!!!!!!!

An absolute delight of a film, Megamind is funny, subversive and incredibly emotionally resonant. Megamind is a very relatable protagonist and it might be one of the funniest movies I've ever watched. If you haven't seen it, you should.

Every scene is my favourite, it’s a masterpiece of humour and subversion and plot twists, 10-11 year old me didn’t watch it over 20 times in a row for nothing. I’ve had the opening quote written on my mirror since 2013.

PRESENTATION. it has a really good story, plot, characters, themes, and its really funny and i like it very much.

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Chicken Run

Ironic that I'm reviewing this on like the same day the sequel comes out huh? Unfortunately, that one isn't being released by Dreamworks, so its not on my list but maybe I'll give it a watch on its own at some point. Anyway onto the actual movie itself!

I liked it! I remember seeing it as a kid in school and being terrified by the vibes and just how dark it was. As an adult though, I appreciate it a lot more. Ardman''s style isn't really my cup of tea (get it, bc british) but I still recognize the hard work that goes into any stop motion production. While the character designs in this are uhhhhhh kinda fugly, they way they're animated is enough to get me to look past it.

The plot and characters also help a lot! Ginger is our lead here, and she's great; stubborn and determined to help her fellow chickens escape and she doesn't put up from any bull from Rocky, the american cock (i mean he is) who crash lands on their farm and promises to "teach" them how to fly so they can escape from the crazy ass Mrs. Tweedy. Rocky is a lot of fun, very sassy as per the usual for Dreamworks protags and he goes through a decent arc in which he comes to genuinely care for Ginger and the other chickens.

Mrs. Tweedy is delightfully insane in a wicked girlboss sort of way, probably one of Dreamworks most underrated villains. She's just this looming, threatening presence hanging over all of the chickens' heads throughout the entire film, she's great. The other characters are also really fun (i love the old rooster who overtly hates Americans, man same here (I say, as an american)) I think my favorite is Babs. Her flighty, out there, just completely detatched from reality remarks had me cracking up throughout the film.

The music is pretty good, very fitting for the "army escape" vibes the film is trying to get across overall and the set pieces are genuinely impressive given the scale they were likely built at. There's a lot of really nice little details scattered throughout that make this movie's world just feel alive, ya know?

The plot itself is pretty simple, as stated above, with a few cliches like the liar revealed and said liar returning to redeem himself in the 11th hour, but I honestly don't mind them too much. I think, as a whole, Chicken Run is a fun little movie that is very well made, though I doubt I'd say its one of my favorites Dreamworks has ever made. Even so, it's pretty good. I recommend it.

Also, it made me really hungry for Chicken Pot Pies so uhhhh yeah.

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Enjoy a Delicious Mrs. Tweedy's Chicken Pie, you filthy fucking Yank

Previous Review (Road to El Dorado)

Next Review (Shrek)

Thai QL Favorites Tag game

Thanks @rocketturtle4 !

First time doing this, I think Ive been here for a month? Came from reddit but wasn't part of the bl community there.

Of course I'm following along with the Favorite thing over "best" cause it's probably more interesting than just saying ITSAY.

Favorite Thai QL: So I want to say Not Me or 1000 stars, for different reasons. I started watching Not Me before I understood it was a BL, and was very confused when offgun started having "moments". Wasn't mad about it, just wasn't expecting it. I thought it was just mystery/social commentary. That said, I wish it went a little harder on the social commentary, but I understand that they might have pushed as far as they could at the time (while still getting money to make the show)

But 1000 stars made me feel all the emotions and if I ever need to just have a good cry, that's my go to.

Pictures for Turtles:

(Though honestly Turtles, I get it, I have to use MDL to look up everyone to see what they were in before, like Max from BMF)

Favorite Pairing: Disclaimer, I hate the fanservice and pressure for the actors to act like they're dating. That being said, I like OffGun, omg I love Gun's acting in Not Me. And I like EarthMix, I just wish Earth was able to not be type cast into such serious roles. He seems like a very funny dude, give him a character who can be bubbly. I like everything they've been in, and I hope to see more in the future.

Most underrated actor: Perth Nakhun Screaigh? I'd like to see him in more stuff. Before Laws of Attraction came out I would have said Film. Jam and Film both did great in To Sir, here's to hoping they get more attention.

Favorite Character: It might be early, but Charn from Laws of Attraction. From a show that is already completed, White. We took a well off boy who saw there was wrong in the world, decided he didn't like how his brother was doing things, and figured his own way of fixing the world. I'm starting to see I have a type. Charn might be a mix of Black and White if they had decided to work from inside the judicial system. Protecting who they could while being jaded and waiting for a chance to get back at those in power.

Favorite Side Character: I'm a simple person - Max from BMF, just because it's nice to see a confident gay character that is smart. He doesn't have much screen time, but whenever he does I am so ready for it.

Favorite scene in a QL: Pisaeng winning the stuffed animal for Kawi in Be My Favorite. How he was acting before and after, the whole thing was perfect and showed so much of Pisaeng's character. My favorite type of scene, and I think Thai bl does a really good job at it, is colored lighting. I think I first noticed it in KP during the Vegas Pete scenes. They started mixing the colors as Pete and Vegas started to understand each other more *chefs kiss* that type of thing is my jam.

Favorite line in a QL: Oh this is hard cause I do not have the memory for these types of things. So I'm going to cheat a little and say anytime consent is asked for and given.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): Looking forward to Only Friends really no other reason than it looks like it's about to be great fun. Also the two horror bls coming up, The Whisper and The shadow? I don't know much about either and I'm going to keep it that way.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Gun and Cher from a boss and a babe? Cher did feel super inferior but that didn't come from Gun. Gun supported Cher with everything and Cher felt comfortable to "act like a bad boss" in our skyy. I liked their whole vibe.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: EVERYONE from Love Syndrome? Just... the whole thing. Itt and Day's levels of jealousy are off the charts and played off as romantic. Day doesn't want Itt to learn how to cook or do anything for himself because he wants Itt to be completely dependent on him. I'm hoping for Only friends to be toxic, but not played off as romantic.

Guilty pleasure series: I will knock you or ghost host ghost house. They're both really fun and I can just turn off my brain to watch.

Most Underrated Series: Apparently La Pluie? To Sir With Love needs more attention, but it's very different than what we normally expect from Thailand. Also, even though I understand all the flack it got, I really liked Step By Step.

@italianpersonwithashippersheart @befuddledcinnamonroll hopefully you have not done this yet?

Well, hello. I haven't been tagged in one of these things for literal years! Was tagged by @c-n-i-d-a-r-i-a-n to fill out a sort of "get to know me" meme. Thanks so much!! To keep this going, I'll tag some beloved mutuals.

@rye-satchel, @kaykayfranco, @lottafuckingshit

3 ships:

Not much of a shipper and the ones I do like are kinda strange, but I got a few that hold a place in my heart. It's not three, tho. Ye get two.

Rarity x Applejack (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

The MLP Resurgence on this website is a gift from above. I get it now........... they are so cute and we stan gay horses. Iconic butch/femme couple....... I don't think I need to say more than that.

Sam Winchester x Castiel (Supernatural)

Feel like i need to justify myself here.

Listen........... i know the show is dumb and stupid and it's over now, but I still think about it. Tbh, I shipped it out of spite at first, but then I kinda started to see potential in it, and now it's one of my OTPs. They are both queer in some way and i will die on that hill. Big sucker for the Friends to Lovers trope, and and and...... idk I just think they're sweet, especially given their growth together in the show. plus Sam doesn't abuse Cass like Dean does so that's a plus lolololololol

IDK. I just think if Cass confessed to Sam, Sam would have at least shown strong emotion. Probably would have tried to sacrifice everything to try and get him back.

first ship:

Zack Fair x Aerith Gainsborough (Final Fantasy VII)

Again, not really much of a shipper, but I remember the first ship that I reeeeeaaally got into was this one. They are just...so perfect for each other.... it's hard not to love them.

last song:

The most underrated as well as the darkest song the band ever made. I think about it constantly and adore it.

last film:

Ginger Snaps (2000)

It's one of my absolute favorite movies of all time. I saw it was free to watch on YouTube and watched it twice in a row. It's so good and a unique take on werewolf stories. I recommend it if you have an interest in werewolves. It is free to watch in English on YouTube, but it's only available to watch in the USA for some reason. It's blocked everywhere else, INCLUDING Canada. ??? That's dumb as hell. Snag a VPN and watch it.

Regardless!! Good movie.

currently reading:

-Lots of TTRPG corebooks/rulebooks.

I love tabletop RPGs!!!!

-Tender Is the Flesh by Agustina Bazterrica.

Jules Dapper on YouTube sold me on this book, and it's one of my new favorites. Very dark and depressing, but also very compelling!

currently craving:

A BIG sandwich with every vegetable ever.

fav color:

All shades of purple!

relationship status:

Not single.

last google search:

"halifax glove guy"

The fact that this dude is actually real and not some weird urban legend fascinates me more than it should. Stay safe out there, guys.

current obsessions:

-TTRPGs

-BIRDS!!!!

-Kingdom Hearts (my forever fandom and favorite game series ever)

-Final Fantasy series

-Animation and art

Thanks for tagging me!! :D

Onward's 3rd Anniversary - A (Long) Self-Reflection Post

three years. three gosh darn years old. you're not allowed to be three years old, onward.

the world has obviously changed a lot since this humble pixar film came into my life. when it released, i was an 18-year-old in senior year of high school, and now i'm a 21-year-old junior in college. animation has changed a whole lot, and has been challenged by the perpetrators of the stigma more than ever. and for me...well, there have been a ton of developments in just these past several months.

for two and a half years, this film was my entire life. it was the only thing i thought about. i created tons of art and stories to expand upon this universe that deserved more love. i adored and connected with the characters...i hadn't quite related to a pixar film this much. i connected with the depiction of loving siblings, the emotions, the fantasy world...i've adored animated films before, but not to this extent.

and despite the film's unfortunate reputation - viruses, lawsuits, lesbian cops and all - i wasn't alone in my love. there was a small group of people on this very website who shared my love for this underrated gem, and we came together to create amazing things. we lifted each other up during dark times, and while things weren't always perfect, we powered through.

what's so unique about this particular anniversary is that this is the first one where i'm not active in the fandom. in fact, i'm not the only one who's inactive - most of my friends have also moved on to other things. but our love never went away. if my love went away, i wouldn't be writing out this post. but i'll be honest - i tried to draw a fanart last night, and i couldn't put anything on that procreate canvas. and it breaks my heart because i wish i could put out something like fanart today. but given my business with other fandoms, this post will suffice.

my one major goal i had in this fandom was to complete at least one season of my fanmade series. and that i did - my series was loved throughout this small fandom and seeing the reactions every time i posted an episode warmed my heart. on onward's 2nd anniversary - one year ago today - i completed the first season and started preparing for the second one. by the end of may i began scripting, and i was really getting in the groove...until late june.

something started feeling off by the end of june. i didn't want to admit the possibility of my onward hyperfixation waning, but that's what it felt like. it felt like the magic was being sucked from me. i blame lightyear partially for this; the film was so underwhelming that it soured pixar a little bit for me, and between that and dreamworks coming back with banger movies again, it made me stop paying attention to disney for a bit. i began looking back at older fandoms again.

july and august came and went, and while i still had a bit of onward motivation in me, it wasn't enough to continue writing. i did all i could - but nothing would bring it back up.

then i started junior year of college on august 22nd, 2022. a few days before, the whole warner discovery HBO max fiasco went down, and put the future of TAWOG - one of my old special interests - in jeopardy. while that special interest was a in a dark place...the youtube channel of the special interest i had directly before disney/pixar/onward hit one million subscribers.

in the 2010's caddicarus fandom, the prospect of him hitting one million subs felt like a legend. something that wouldn't really happen. back when i came along in 2014, he was projected to hit one million in 2017, as this was his peak in popularity. but as time went on, that 1 million goal moved further and further away as jim kept steering the channel into its demise. he had no self-awareness and felt he had to grind and pop out videos like rabbits to keep his numbers up...which, if you were a fan at the time, you probably knew was not true. the videos lost their quality and magic...and, funnily enough...i lost my patience on march 7th, 2019.

i unsubbed that day, but i'd been irritated with the channel's output for a while before that.

of course, if you know me, you know the story - exactly one year later, i saw onward in theaters with my sister and my life was changed. after a year of changing between many different fandoms - jontron, game grumps, seeing TAWOG for the last time before its finale, vinesauce, ducktales - pixar was now my new special interest home. the subsequent lockdown was a time where i produced tons of edits, fanarts, and fanfiction experiments.

on the caddicarus side of things, jim almost shut down the channel in late 2019 as his numbers were at their absolute worst. after having an epiphany at a convention in january 2020, he completely shook up his content style, and his channel was suddenly rejuvenated, bringing him the largest figures in the channel's history. before 2020, every caddicarus video gaining a minimum of 1 million views was completely unheard of, let alone none of the videos being under 30 minutes.

what's so ironic is that caddy began making banger videos again around the same time i got with onward. and yet i completely refused to watch them. i knew what was going on, i knew people were saying the newer videos were better. but i couldn't make myself watch them.

i had actually tried to come back for my 7th anniversary in august of 2021 - fun fact, my caddica-versary is august 21st, one day before august 22nd, aka what's now 1 million sub day - but i had just committed to my onward series, and i couldn't have another interest interrupting me.

so another year passes, and we're back at august 2022. i watch caddy cross over to 1 million subs, and it doesn't feel real at first.

i didn't immediately return to the fandom, but i knew in my mind that i needed to go somewhere as my onward hyperfix was thinning.

so what's the last thing i create in the onward fandom? do i draw an elaborate fanart? do i put out at least one episode of the second season i'd been hyping and pushing back for months? do i tease even more OCs and episode ideas? do i put out another chapter of that other fanfic i was writing? or a one-shot?

...on august 28th, 2022, the last things i ever created in the onward fandom were these two fortnite dancing gifs.

this reminds me a lot of alex lasarenko and his disney channel jingle. he's created a lot of breathtaking orchestral pieces - and yet the thing he's most known for are those four notes that have been used on the disney channel for over 20 years. for me and onward, the thing i go out on are these two silly gifs...and honestly? i don't mind that.

the following friday, i finally began watching the 2020-present caddicarus videos...and it was like falling in love with the channel all over again. i love both the original and current runs of the caddicarus show for completely different reasons - but the current run is the one i rewatch, quote, and remember the most of. because it's actually amazing.

needless to say, i resubbed that night, and i could comfortably call myself a caddicarus fan again.

something very funny about this is whole thing is that caddy says the word "onward" a whole lot. like, a whole lot. on interviews and streams, he usually brings up how new fans should only watch his videos from 2020 onwards. in his video talking about his merch box, he says the jokes and references within the box are from his videos from 2020 onwards.

it's like pixar had been sending me a subliminal message this whole time - onward (2020) came out just as caddy's videos became the best they've ever been. pixar was basically telling me "hey, caddy's moving onward too, so you should give his newer stuff a try and stop thinking he's living in the past".

here we are at onward's 3rd anniversary, and i'm still waiting for my caddicarus blu-ray to arrive. it'll be the first caddicarus merchandise i'll be able to hold in my hands and cherish - back when i was a teen, i couldn't just ask for caddicarus T-shirts as my parents couldn't find out that a swearing youtuber was my big special interest. and now, when that box arrives, i will have merchandise of all the major special interests i've had. i'd finally added the missing piece to the puzzle - or maybe for this case, a missing brick in the wall, or... the last check on the bucket list...

...and i've never felt more complete.

thank you pixar. thank you onward. thank you dan scanlon, kori rae, tom holland, chris pratt, literally everyone who made this movie a reality. no matter how much it's overlooked, memed on, dogged on, etc., there are people who adore this film for what it is and the emotions it has brought. it has helped me with many of my personal struggles, and to this day it stands as a glowing reminder that we should all strive to keep moving onward.

so, with all that said, keep putting it in O my friends. because you'll never be ready if you don't try.

read your tags and. (probably) not a girl but anything else you'd recommend rn?

....How do you feel about telekinesis-based witches in very violent Korean supernatural action horror? If this sounds interesting to you, you might enjoy The Witch Part 1: Subversion and The Witch Part 2: The Other One

How about a claustrophobic, tense, atmospheric suspense horror in the vein of Alien but at the bottom of the ocean instead of deep space? Does Kristen Stewart with a butch haircut work for you? If so, watch Underwater.

While we're on the subject, Alien and Aliens. If you've never seen them, change that immediately. Alien is correctly regarded as one of the best horror films ever made, and the (imo superior) sequel Aliens is in my extremely correct opinion the best sequel ever made and one of the best movies of all time. Ellen Ripley in Aliens is my GOLD STANDARD for character arcs. Just masterful writing. Fuck Alien 3. Alien Resurrection is hot trash and VERY OBVIOUSLY a prototype for what became Firefly if you squint, but apart from a few VERY WHEDON lines it's better than Alien 3 honestly. This is not saying enough to count as a compliment. FUCK ALIEN 3. The new films (Prometheus and Alien: Covenant) are OKAY, but a completely different vibe and generally most people either only like the old movies or only like the new ones. Covenant is better than Prometheus imo. And I will say that Covenant has some of the most interesting/inventive xenomorph kills in the series. They do NOT have the same feel as the old movies, though. The design fails HARD to capture the essence of that 80s junk retro-future vibe that makes the old movies so timeless. They're supposed to be PREQUELS but the tech is way more advanced for no reason, which imo was a bad choice.

Supernatural action drama with an interesting plot that will make you wanna read the graphic novel it was based on? The Old Guard.

Wanna see the best and most underrated animated film of the last decade? I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH how much Kubo and the Two Strings was ROBBED during awards season.

Like robots smashing each other with an unexpectedly solid plot? The Bumblebee movie from a couple years ago was shockingly good, in stark contrast to every other Transformers movie.

Want some really well done scifi with a PHENOMENAL concept behind it, framed in a different way than any other first contact style movie, that will make you think about the nature of consciousness? Arrival is a masterpiece.

What We Do In The Shadows remains the best thing in the vampire genre. If you haven't seen it yet, fix that. The movie is great but the show absolutely blows it away.

Star Trek is a good evergreen choice. I don't have as much experience with it as I'd like, but I very much enjoyed TNG up until it hit writers' strike territory and things went really off the rails (mid season 5). Started DS9 but my progress got interrupted pretty hard when my dad was in the hospital for the last time. The different series have different feels to them. Not liking one show doesn't mean you won't like another one. There's plenty of Star Trek to choose from.

I am tearing through The Vampire Diaries at an impressive rate. Is it revolutionary? Not remotely. You can tell a LOT of the character archetypes were pulled from Buffy. But to be fair, it does a lot of those character archetypes better. I got into it partly for a specific character (Katherine Pierce) who is like Evil Girlboss incarnate, and partly as backstory for the world so I can eventually progress to Legacies for ANOTHER supernatural superpowered character (Hope Mikaelson). So far I'm very pleasantly surprised by how much I'm enjoying it. It's actually a good show. VERY straight, but at least the straight vampire drama is better than Buffy's (even if it's very obvious that Stefan and Damon are basically rehashed Angel and Spike).

Have you seen Shin Godzilla? It is, bar none, the best monster movie ever made. An absolute MASTERPIECE of atmospheric, slow terror as the world fails to comprehend and respond to the physical and emotional impact of a nuclear catastrophe on Japanese soil. Absolutely PHENOMENAL movie. The version with all the deleted scenes in it is even better. Incredible film.

Do you like speculative fiction about artificial intelligence, and also think Alicia Vikander is pretty (who doesn't?). Ex Machina is really interesting and good.

Like the classic stuff? John Carpenter's The Thing and the 70s Invasion of the Body Snatchers definitely live up to their reputations.

Want to turn your brain off with a comedy about morons who are in over their head? The Three Amigos is pretty good and has one of my favorite jokes in any comedy movie. (It involves a veranda).

Wanna turn your brain off with goofy kaiju bullshit? The old Toho Godzilla movies are very fun. Be mindful of the older ones, though. If it was made before 1970 and features an island setting, there's usually some outlandish degrees of racism. King Kong vs Godzilla is the worst offender, but a BUNCH from that era had very severe colorism and "primative island culture" vibes. Also probably avoid Godzilla vs Megalon, which even manages to beat King Kong as hands down the worst film in the entire series. It was filmed in under two weeks and Godzilla is only in it for the last forty seconds because it wasn't even supposed to be a Godzilla movie at all. I'm a big fan of the Heisei era movies (1985-1995) personally, with the Millennium series (1999-2004) being a close second. But if you want maximum goofy kaiju cheese, you want Showa (1954-1974). It's all rubber suit bullshit and it's a good time.

The Maleficent movies are fantastic, if you haven't seen them.

The Mummy and The Mummy Returns are cinematic masterpieces. Do not watch The Mummy 3: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. I mean it doesn't even have Rachel Weisz, what's the point.

The Resident Evil movies are very bad. But they're a guilty pleasure if you're into really bad 2000s cheesy action. If you're into it, they're fun.

The Underworld movies are kinda like that but with vampires (and werewolves) instead of zombies. They're awful movies, but they DO have Kate Beckinsdale in a corset so you win some you lose some.

Want action cheese but more 80s? Demolition Man is fun. The original Judge Dredd is also better than it has any right to be. The NEW Dredd is genuinely a good and cool movie.

Want to watch a shitpost? Romancing the Stone and the sequel, Jewel of the Nile. Very fun to watch with friends because of how batshit insane they are.

GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE. I can't believe the post got this long before I thought of it. It's a great story about a female assassin and a polycule of librarians with guns. Sometimes a family is a little girl, the woman who shot her dad, and 4 gay aunts that love books guns and each other. Great music, too.

For turn your brain off but cute, charming, and low stakes/drama, Kiki's Delivery Service is one of my favorite Ghibli movies. It's about equal to Totoro with how gentle the world and story are. Also has some anti-capitalist vibes and a lesbian artist who lives in the woods. Plus it's about a witch, and who's not a sucker for decent witch movies?

Person of Interest is a really interesting show if you haven't seen it. It's about a national security algorithm that gains sentience and a small team of independent ex-spec ops agents use it to save people because its creator refused to let the government have access to it.

Do you want to absolutely lose your goddamn mind wondering how something ever got made? Try watching Zardoz. Holy fucking shit I've never been more confused.

Do you want that feeling but good instead of bad? Kung Fury.

Terminator: Dark Fate is the best film in the series THERE I SAID IT. It does every single thing the series NEEDED it to do to be good and relevant and fresh for a modern audience. The series has been stagnating for a long time and Dark Fate is EXACTLY the direction the Terminator franchise needed to go.

Fifteen Days of Disney Magic - Number 8

Welcome to Fifteen Days of Disney Magic! In honor of the company’s 100th Anniversary, I am counting down my Top 15 Favorite Movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios! We're now halfway through the countdown! Today’s entry proves the quote, “The past is never dead. It isn’t even past.” Number 8 is…The Lion King.

If I had to make a few guesses, I’d say the most unorthodox things about my countdown would be the following: one, putting “Fun & Fancy Free,” of all films, in my Top 15. Two, only including one modern era Disney film in the ranks, and we’ll get to that one eventually, don’t worry. Three, not including “Beauty and the Beast” in my Top 10…and four, making “The Lion King” ONLY 8th place. Yes, I am aware that I am a blasphemous heathen who deserves to be hit with a stick. So sue me. Once again, I must stress, do not take the lower placement of “The Lion King” to mean I dislike the film. Because, obviously, I do not. I think the movie is one of the most epic features Disney has ever put out, and it’s not a surprise that so many people name it as one of their top five favorite Disney movies, or even their absolute favorite. It was one of the most successful features of its time, and for good reason. Combining elements of Shakespeare with earlier animated works, including the anime “Kimba the White Lion” and Disney’s own “Bambi,” and a lot of its own original material, “Lion King” was and still is a unique movie in the Disney canon. In some ways, I would argue it’s a little more adult than many other Disney films, although it still has plenty of elements that can appeal to children, or even to one’s inner child.

There are many things that make this film as “big” as it is. The visuals are sweeping and grand; even the most minor shots always seem to have a lot of punch to them. It takes great advantage of the colors and visual motifs of its natural African setting to create some of the most gorgeous images you’ll find in any animated movie. Practically every frame of this film, if you were to halt it in place, could make a perfectly composed picture; almost something you would want to hang up on your wall. From childhood innocence to the bitterness of adulthood, and everything in-between, it patterns the emotional and physical journeys of Simba beautifully. Hans Zimmer’s score is equally powerful; I feel this actually may be one of his most underrated soundtracks, since when most people think of his name, they probably think of his work with Christopher Nolan, or on franchises like “Pirates of the Caribbean,” and when most people think of music in the Lion King, they tend to think of the songs. And while the songs are great – REALLY great – I think that Zimmer’s score is equally applause-worthy, as it works with the imagery (and the splendid voice cast) to paint every character and scene expertly. However, when I rewatched the film, what struck me most was the overall message of the story. This is where I think it’s most adult elements show: not in the death of Mufasa, or the family struggles, but in its ultimate and most prominent theme. The film is ultimately about one person learning to overcome his own perceived past mistakes, and bring justice and truth to a world filled with lies. We have all made mistakes or wished to correct unjust situations, and I think that theme is just as powerful today as it ever was. For me, it is perhaps especially poignant; I have, more and more frequently, found myself dealing with old wounds and not-so-forgotten errors, and wishing I could find a way to correct all those terrible things I did or said. So I can relate to someone like Simba in a way that’s different from many other characters Disney has created. As far as its competition with “Aladdin,” "Peter Pan," and “Beauty and the Beast” can be concerned, Lion King ranks high on all counts. Using the criteria I named in my previous two entries on the countdown: Lion King certainly has a lot of nostalgic value for me, and I do tend to refer to it more than “Beauty and the Beast” in everyday situations. I’d say it and Aladdin are pretty evenly tied there. I also have a close connection to it in writing, since my commission work has led to me writing A LOT of stories set in the universe of this film and its later spin-offs. And while there aren’t AS many parts I’d like to play in the story, in terms of a stage version, the chance to be in it, or even to just SEE it, onstage would be absolutely fantastic beyond belief – something I’d look forward to more than either of the other two films it was competing with. Therefore, it tops them both…but not the other films yet to come. I'm going to be honest, before I close this out: this film actually rose in the ranks by a grand margin. Just as I fully expected to put Peter Pan at the top of the four-part stretch when I went in, I actually expected to put Lion King at either 9th or 10th place. But upon returning to it, and reflecting on everything it means to me and all its done for me, I realized just how special this film truly was. It's not enough to break it into the Top 7...but I think when you see what those seven films are, you'll understand that being 8th place is far from an insult to this film's colossal credit. The countdown continues tomorrow with my 7th Favorite Disney Movie! HINT: An Underrated Mouse-terpiece.

For the movie asks :)

12. Which movie has your favorite soundtrack?

and/or 

8. Has a film ever made you extremely angry? 

but more specifically -> angry not as in 'this movie was so bad/offensive it made me angry' or 'this movie covers a topic that is itself infuriating' but instead 'this movie made me feel things i don't know how to articulate, not even to myself, and it enrages me so much i feel like im chewing glass whenever i think about it'

HELLO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER THIS i completely forgot i got this ask augh.

12. Which movie has your favorite soundtrack?

oh EXCELLENT question!!!! there are soooooo many film soundtracks I love it's very hard to choose. i love hans zimmer's scores for the lion king and the prince of egypt (idk what it was about 90s animated movies that motivated hans zimmer to write the most gorgeous scores of all time but i'm glad it did) and the prince of egypt is also probably my favourite movie musical and I adore the songs for it.

I'm also a big fan of michael abels' soundtracks for us and especially nope!!! I spent so much time listening to the nope soundtrack while working last year it's so wonderfully atmospheric. speaking of which little women 2019 is another film score i love listening to while working... which is probably not a great idea bc it also makes me Very Emotional

OH AND ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE!!!!! EVERY TIME GWEN OR MIGUEL'S THEMES KICK IN DEAR GOD

8. Has a film ever made you extremely angry? 

ok i gotta admit I don't know if I have a good answer for this one. I've definitely watched some films that made me angry bc they were so bad, but I don't think I've ever experienced a film making me angry bc it brought up too many feelings.

maybe the closest comparison I could make is birdboy the forgotten children. it's definitely the film i most distinctly remember making me feel things I couldn't really properly articulate, but I wouldn't say it made me angry! in fact it's one of my favourite films!! (sidenote - I would strongly recommend checking out birdboy if you can - it's an absolutely gorgeous and heartwrenching spanish animated sci fi/horror/fantasy film that I think is just. SUCH an underrated gem)

oh also maybe my feelings on captain fantastic come close? I don't think it's a bad film by any means but dear LORD does it dredge up a lot of feelings I have about how kids get treated by their parents and in society and I feel a lot of. very complicated things about it.

thank you so much for the ask sorry again for taking such a long time to answer it flkjsfjsljkdf

Thoughts On 2022 Favorites

TV Shows 1. Severance: My absolute favorite new live series in years. Great premise with a unique (and ironic) visual look that perfectly matches the tone of the series. The opening credits are just. So!! *chef kiss* 2. Wednesday: This was a lot more fun than I was expecting. While I felt so-so on some aspects of the show (the cgi and the teenage drama especially), the style of the series and Jenna Ortega's portrayal of Wednesday was fantastic. 3. Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities: New Halloween favorite! The overall series is a combo of spooky and pretty. Particularly enjoyed The Viewing and The Outside. 4. 1899: Enjoyed the heck out of this show, which is weird considering I didn't like Dark. It's Lost but actually coherent. All I could ever want out of a character-driven sci-fi series.

Animation (TV & Films) 1. Amphibia: Perfect series, with a perfect (and surprisingly bittersweet) ending. A new Disney favorite. Hope it gets a bluray release like Gravity Falls did. 2. Lego Monkie Kid: The animation blew me away in this series but it's also great story and character-wise despite being so short in length. 3. Rise of the TMNT Movie & TV series: The Rise movie proved I'll never be fully over comic book/superhero genre films despite feeling very burnt out on them overall. It’s a fairly old franchise, but it hasn't grown cynical over time. I think this is key to keeping franchises going indefinitely. It still has so much heart to it, and the Rise movie was my favorite new film released this year. Made sure to watch the series in it’s entirety as well and now wish I had checked it out earlier. 4. Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio: This story has never really connected with me (even when I watched the Disney film as a child), so I was a little surprised at how much I liked this one. (Which I should not have been - this is Guillermo del Toro after all!) Gorgeous animation and very unique compared to all the other various versions of the story that seem to be released every freaking year (I'm looking at you Disney). 5. Wendell & Wild: While I wasn't super enthused with the (kind of bloated) story, I adored the animation and character designs. Always nice to see something new from Henry Selick.

Anime (TV & Films) 1. Demon Slayer: Was curious to see if the hype was real and am pleased to say it's worth watching. Incredible animation and a likable main cast. 2. Spy x Family: The premise is what hooks you, but the character moments (paired with great music) is the heart of this series. Just a super solid comedy/action anime series. 3. Shadows House: Still need to finish the second season, but I'm enjoying this one a lot! An intriguing, underrated mystery series. 4. Perfect Blue: I believe this is the final Satoshi Kon film I had not watched up until this point, and I'm more sad than ever that he died so young. It was a prophetic, horrifying film.

Video Games 1. Cozy Grove: Probably the game I played the most this year? I'm finding that I love this kind of gameplay a lot (Animal Crossing-esque), so I'll probably look for more games like it in the future. 2. Little Witch in the Woods: Fantastic pixel-art aesthetic in this one. 3. Machinarium: Ever since playing Samorost 3 Amanita Design has become one of my favorite indie game companies. This one's an oldie but goodie. 4. Genshin Impact: I don't plan on ever dropping any money on this game but I do like the graphics and gameplay. I can see why it's so popular now that I've played it a bit.

Live Films 1. Under the Silver Lake: Unexpected new favorite. I just have a deep love for surreal movies that shit on Hollywood culture. Hoping to see more from David Robert Mitchell. 2. Nope: I don't know man; I just think Jordon Peele gets me lmao. I have loved all his movies thus far, and this was no exception. Creepy, atmospheric and thoughtful commentary on humanity’s relationship with both nature and fame. 3. Mandy: I need to watch this movie a few more times to fully absorb the visuals/plot/message, but on a first-watch basis it dazzled me.

Honorable Mentions 1. Cursed Princess Club 2. Inside Job 3. Barbarian 4. The Legend of Hell House: this movie was on my Halloween watch list and I loved it so much. The conclusion was fucking bonkers.

Things I’m Looking Forward to in 2023 1. I might actually (willing) watch a few Marvel/DC movies next year. 2. Clone High Reboot: Not sure if I'd say I'm looking forward to it, but I'm very curious to see how the new series turns out. 3. Second season of Good Omens! 4. Nier Automata anime series!! 5. Movies: Barbie, the new Seth Rogan TMNT movie, John Wick 4, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and Disappointment Blvd. if it's actually released next year.

Some Creative & General Goals for 2023 I would just like to get back into the grove of drawing regularly again. These days I only have time for photography, but I really want to get back into a headspace where I can prioritize drawing again. Maybe take up painting and nature sketching too.

1️⃣🏃‍♂️💣 for the asks?

1️⃣ What’s the first fandom you ever participated in online?

Like a lot of folks my age, it was Harry Potter. I'm a perfect fit into that very specific subset of younger millennials that's been nicknamed "The New Bratpack," referencing Miley, Selena, Justin, Nick, Ariana, Timothy, and a number of young male actors and artists whose popularity has spiked enough to give him press coverage, until he does something dumb and and just fades away, as a revival of "Original Bratpack" wide group-recognition Matt Dillon, Tom Cruise, Patrick Swayze, Ralph Maccio, Rob Lowe, and a many others who have made Hollywood shine for the past four or five decades.

All of that might be jumbled, but this, people who started attending school in the year 2000, after spending birth through 1999 raised without much encombus, at home, with a family. Schools had just introduced a new special activity, "Computer Lab," (during which a "technology educator" and a teacher would show the students the bells and whistles of Windows 1998, then keep everyone from putting misspelled profanity at the top of their word documents, because they hadn't learned to use the backspace key yet. Anxious children would cry out for help, and devious ones would pester their friends to ask if "the F-word" ended with a C or a K.)

My bio family got one of those white Gateway boxy things when I was 5-ish, and then when I was 12-ish they replaced it with a laptop and desktop, AND I was now allowed to have my own profile and (loosely monitored) internet access.

Very much true to that spot of a generation, the magic or still-releasing Harry Potter books and, and continuous release of "limited edition" paraphernalia was still a concrete part of, well, everyone I knew's lives. It made making school acquaintances easier. I can be very OCD about my most voracious task of interest of the moment, and memorizing trivia was a hobby of mine.

I'm not going to go back and count the years or do math, but I'm not THAT much younger than Emerson Spartz. By the time extended periods of free internet were allowed, I found MuggleNet, which had just barely spiffed up enough to be a Google recommendation, in addition to becoming navigable for a middle schooler who knew computer skills, up to and including, QWERTY and click-with-mouse.

Once I'd poked around enough to have read all the tabs and verbally debated the guesses for upcoming book subplots (I was way too afraid to leave a comment), I found their fanfiction collection, and I was immediately hooked. I thought it was fun, but there. was probably a glitch in the system. A search term would be run through all data of all text of all files, of all stories of the site. I have some buzzwords. They haven't changed much over the years.

At 12ish I was reading fanfic a few times a week. By age 16 I was hand-writing or making shitty (ha, windows 98, remember?) typed stories that I'd print out and just hide in my room. I just got onto AO3 a little bit before starting my blog, making me a full adult before I hit the "publish" key.

🏃‍♂️ What/s your longest running fandom you still have interest in?

I love Titain A.E., which is a very underrated 20th Century Fox animated film released in the summer of 2000. It's a StarWars-type adventure/mild thriller, definitely PG (kid friendly, but the plot's intricate and there's some canon-typical violence), it really hit the ball out of the park for me. Yes, I believe it is now a Disney pawn, since the mouse in whiteface is carrying on with throwing cash, and grinning at the knowledge of the outcome of the next slippery deal, but it's been long forgotten.

After a disappointing theater run, someone let dust gather on the cover of the original notebook. Characters voiced by Matt Damon and Drew Barrymore, pushed together by fate, must continue to survive in the midst of an inter-species war as they search for a hidden method to restore Earth, all whilst overcoming the obstacles of their post-apocalyptic cyberpunk environment and keeping an eye out for enemies, which may not be where they're expected...

Ok, that sells, right? And the soundtrack is amazing (even if it's a smidge dated, but that underscores the cyberpunk vibe nicely as well)--Lit's Over My Head is a big feature.

The three main characters in the film are all humans in an alien-dominated environment, and they come from drastically different backgrounds. There are three scenes dispersed along the plotline where each of the three characters are wounded/sedated/receiving medical treatment/engaging in field medicine... And with the three characters also having huge potential for the filling in of missing moments and little opportunities of added H/C, one can take things in a lot of different ways, and with a lot of freedom to create complementary backstory.

💣 Have you ever been a part of a fandom during what might be considered a major fandom event?

...No... Not, like, a con. Though I'd love to attend a comicon.

But I have done, oh, eight or so, midnight releases over the stretch of my teens. And a few book parties. Though those, at least in the geographical area in which I grew up, meant that maybe 20 or 30 people would walk aimlessly around Borders (remember when those stores existed???) whilst trying to wave at the news van with its high beams on before it backs out of the gridlock of the parking lot.

Spike Spiegel is the only man that can get away with saying “I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass” and still win the fight. Lol.

GIANTS OF BL 2021 AKA SHOWS LINED UP FOR GMMTV THAT WE WON’T STOP SCREAMING ABOUT!

Is there a way I can get over the addiction of BLS? Apparently not because GMMTV came and slapped me across the face for ever thinking I could. Like what even was that conference? I came in like yeah I've heard the rumours. 6 BLs! LOL, you're kidding, like nothing I'd want would even happen. But I still made a list of everything I wanted from them and held that checklist in my mind and boy was I shocked! I ended up just on the floor, brain exploded, mind shut down and can you believe I was crying? Like why on earth was I crying for GMMTV BLs? Crazy right? I am absolutely left floored, I'm going to be crying as I write this by the way just so you know, I've got my heart full ready to burst, talking about the change we've seen in BLs this year, the journey, the growth; there's still some work to do, but GMMTV said they were also part of that, they were going to change and make us stay, wanting more. They did that in a 3-hour conference. My brain is ready, my mind is prepared, my heart is available for all these shows, and I can't wait to see what 2021 unfolds. Let's begin screaming:

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

THE NICE SURPRISES

BAKERY BOYS

Genre/Themes: Thriller, Bromance, Mystery, Psychological, Drama, Friendship, BL? (The manga is), Baking

Verdict: You know I love Antique when immediately I see that Foie's hands shaking as he has to be one of the waiters in the cafe, reminds me back to another favourite bodyguard of mine doing so. I was in shock; One because Antique was one of my first Korean 'BL' movies I saw, with all my favourite actors, an unusual and intriguing plotline and I ate it up; all of it. I didn't like how censored it was and the weird open ending for the relationship in the show. But I couldn't care less, something about it made me happy. I just loved the characters I think, and I enjoyed seeing our 4 bakers become friends and find a weird found family with each other. Add in a mystery to why Joon’s character wanted to kill himself and hated cakes? And I was sold. Now GMMTV is making a remake for it, and SINGTO is playing my favourite gay baker. Like I am so happy with this. Do I expect this to blow my mind? No. Do I expect more BL? A little? I'm not sure like GMMTV could make Antique a BL if they want to, Korea hinted to it, Japan ignored it in anime and others, but Thailand could change that. I'm not holding hopes for it, but I love this cast just as much as I love the Korean Cast like Lee Thanawat is perfect for this role, Singto is greater (I just love him so much) and we even have Pleum and Foei?? Are you kidding me? Greatness. It's going to be fun to see what they do with the mystery—something I greatly liked in the movie. Let's hope it's more fleshed out in the tv show. So excited!

Ratings: 3.5/5 I mean it's not really a BL so it'll feel queer baity for me and I may end up being annoyed it, but I really do have fond memories of the Korean movie, so I want to be excited, and the cast is everything so we'll see.

FISH UPON THE SKY

Genre: Unrequited Love, Comedy, Romance, Rivalry, Haters to Lovers, 

Verdict: 

DID SOMEONE SAY JITTIRAIN: THEORY OF LOVE? 2GETHER??? Sorry for screaming but like what else am I meant to do. Theory of love is my ultimate BL show, one of it anyway, one of the reasons will be discussed even more later with another show, but this is not about them. Also, 2gether is like one of the biggest BLs ever right now. Jittirain is genius, she has this ability to make you feel for her characters, root for their love stories whilst throwing plot twists everywhere. I also like that she always has a focus; theory of love, we had film theory, 2gether we had music, and now we have Fish Upon the Sky, and we have?

 Medicine? Love rivalry? Honestly, I don't know, the title even makes me feel even weird; what the hell does Fish upon a sky mean? But who cares it's a Jittirain classic, comedy, pain, longiiiing, and unrequited love, and scheming to get unrequited loves requited, more side couples and secretive characters. This time we have PHUWIN (had to emphasise that because he's impressive people stop sleeping on him!), one of my favourite youngins, showing up and becoming our main Pi and we have Pond a newbie, who has charisma for days, and he plays Mork, and they are love rivals. Wait what? A love story between two people who fall for each other after chasing after one guy? I'm ready for this, the haters to lovers, the pain of unrequited longing, but hold on it seems like a plot twist! Seems like we have another oblivious protagonist on our hand aside from Tine in 2gether, Pi can't even see that Mork isn't chasing after the same person as him, but for he's chasing after him! Sarawat scheming activated! I'm expecting giggles, chemistry and a great story. And it's going to be great because it's Jittirain. 

Ratings: 4.5/5 It's not anything new but do I need to repeat my self? Theory of love pining and longing and emotions mixed with 2gether's secrecy, scheming and obliviousness? It's going to be great. The cast is also excellent, I have total faith in this show, better be a good director though (oh no nightmares from the last half of 2gether has returned). 

FINDING ENCHANTE

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Angst, Drama, Friends to Lovers, Haters to Lovers, Harem, Mystery, 

Verdicts: 

Enchante that means nice to meet you aww. Wow, now I know French. Yay now where do I sign up to be like Theo and have 5 men chasing after me? Actually, that sounds like a nightmare, and I don't have time for that. He does apparently. Guess what guys! I knew I had a feeling in my gut when I watched this drama, I felt the memories, the intuition, the clues, hitting my brain, and I realised why. This show is also written by My gear and your gown's writer. YES! You mean more mystery and subtext filled storytelling, a show where I can analyse the character dynamics, and find clues to piecing the story together??? Perfection. As much as My gear and your gown wasn't everything to me, it was everything to me when I analysed it, I have fun with this writer's works when directed properly her works have great potential to be one of the best. I love GMMTV giving new actors the time to shine, and choosing stories that make my mind start working again. Thank you. 

With this show we're having a love Simon flashbacks with our Simon being sent secret messages through a book by Enchante, he's sweet, caring and totally all about making our lead comfortable. Who could he be?

 The best friend who's totally pining from afar and playing off his feelings like its nothing?  My gut is already saying that Tine definitely wants it to be him (so again requited but they don't know trope? you've got me!)

Is it the playboy guitar extraordinaire played by GAWIN you heard me right GAWIN my Mork in Dark Blue Kiss!! Like what? Where've you been boy? He looks so great in this, by the way, he's a tease, likes to play our lead's feelings, and has chemistry because they're haters to lovers.  

Or is it FLUKE PUSIT?? What even is this cast how is it both my favourite actors are here? Anyways Fluke is an artist, he wants our lead to let him in so he can draw him, our lead is his muse apparently, and again chemistry that makes your head hurt because like who is this damn Enchante?? Who will Theo choose? 

Anyways we then have two people who I don't know that well sorry, Boom is the football captain that likes our lead and is always protecting him, and the other is a genius/nerd? Who helps Theo with his studies? Like wow, it must be great to be Theo, guys from different lifestyles and aesthetics have found him, they want him, they need him and one of them he wants and needs. I wonder who it is. 

Ps people already thinking it's the best friend, not me, I think bestie is obviously endgame Tine is definitely also secretly wanting him to be with that pining and longing (I'm sure it's why he wants to find enchante desperately). I can't wait to see why these two refuse to let each other know how it feels. All I beg for is, please don't let New direct this. Guess what it's produced by X (Theory of Love! Hold on while I cry again) and Film! (Also theory of love!) Oh, this is going to be brilliant!

Ratings: 4.5/5 This drama is probably going to be the most underrated because people have other things to care about I don't blame you, but I think for me, this would be a same favourite way I loved MGYG and I'm ready for new faces, Gawin and Fluke and a requited but they don't know it angsty love story plus I know the directing is going to be amazing!. Ps, I actually hate harems, but the excitement is in figuring out who on earth is Enchante and why this is happening! 

THE BIG BOYS

GMMTV decided to not let me rest next year. How is it that I already felt happy by seeing Phuwin, Gawin, Fluke etc... I was content you know, I was like great we have a great line up I'm excited now I don't think there's anything else I secretly want that will happen. I'm being a clown, BUT NO. EVERYTHING I ASKED FOR: EVERYONE I WANTED TO SEE, EVERY TROPE I WANTED, THE DIRECTOR, THE PLOTS, EVERYTHING WAS MANIFESTED BY THESE THREE TRAILERS. That's why I ended up crying.  Because even till this day I can't believe this is real. I don't know when I'll finally think they will be real in 2021. Crying again!

NOT ME 

Genre: Gang, Mafia, Crime, Romance, Drama, Stolen Identity, Twins, Angst

Not me? Not you? Not us? See how my mind scrambles when it comes to this show. Because I was determined to not be a clown and believe in this even when I saw OFF GUN hold onto each other on the motorbike I was like HA, nope they're just guest stars, when I saw them as gang members I was like HA; interesting probably not BL. When I saw two Guns, I was like HA, nice Gifted character flashback but still not BL. I won't fall for it,  this is a BAIT! You get me? BAIT!! Don't fall for it and then GMMTV was like shut up here's a kiss. And then I broke down and cried. Because it was a journey. 

Remember when I said Theory of Love was my favourite? It's because of these two; OffGun is everything, my favourite BL couple on screen, my favourite fanservice couple, everything. I thought that the end of theory of love meant I won't be seeing them for a while, they'd be in other series separate, they'd not want to be typecasted. Gun would go for serious roles, Off will choose more het romantic comedies, don't blame them. Still, I didn't think I'd see them again, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see them in another university setting. I set my mind on only seeing them in fan meetings and side projects, I'd made up my mind to miss them. And then NOT ME happened, and now I'm crying just at the thought;

This isn't a cringy, comedic, cheesy BL. 

This isn't set in University.

This isn't'  unrequited pining from Gun to Off.

Gun is Dark! I repeat Gun went Dark he became a gang leader determined to break the law, called Black and Off; OFF went serious and he's Gun's right-hand man called Sean, and I'm just like wait is this real?? We're getting dark, gritty OFF GUN??? Are you serious?? See?? still can't believe it, and it's BL??? What is this? Christmas?? Like how did we get this, who came up with this idea THANK YOU SO MUCH. 

I thought nothing could beat theory of love for me and now OffGun came back and said HA you thought. I have a lot of feels about this, I will never stop screaming, I've rewatched that youtube trailer now for about more than 20 times, I'm not even kidding you, every day it's on repeat, I'm just ready, ready to write, to scream, to talk about this in so much detail. Let's get a plot that's deep, thrilling and mysterious, let's get a romance that is interesting, angsty but also sweet, let's get acting that is full of range, that will break my heart but fix it together again, let's get chemistry that would make me forget everything else. I'm ready for this. I've never been more ready!

Ratings: 5/5 What were you expecting? I can't even rate this anything else, nothing about this is worrying; even the director I trust she's also worked with Gun before in another movie of his, she respects LGBTQ, and she wants to make a great BL. I just can't believe this is real. 2021 come faster, I beg you. 

BAD BUDDY 

Genre: Forbidden romance, Haters to Lovers, Romance, Comedy, Opposites attract, Angst, Friends to Lovers, 

Verdict: 

You thought my screaming would be over. But no. GMMTV wasn't done with me yet. It's like it knew I was mourning from my lack of Ohm Pawat after rewatching He's coming to me (review here) and it knew I had just finished watching Gifted Graduation and felt slighted to see my opportunity at seeing Nanon as a BL character being taken from me with that finale. GMMTV knew I was empty without them and decided to mock me, and put me back together by making OHM NANON in a series together,. 

Again the same process as Not me; I started laughing when I saw the trailer like a mad person. I was like this is clearly a queer bait bromance, HA, not falling for it GMMTV almost got me this time, but then there were the stares, the Romeo and Juliet energy, the sneaking into each other's rooms, the becoming secret friends despite being haters to lovers, the skinship, the intimacy, and then the jealousy, the pining, the longing, the are we just friends scene??? WAIT, WHAT IS THIS?? Why is AOF directing this (same director of ALL my favourite BLS), what is this GMMTV? 

Nanon wouldn't be in a BL we know this, we've been clowns, but we accepted this with defeat, why is he now saying he's doing one because of the cast? THIS IS A BL? NOT BAIT? NOT A TRICK? BY AOF? WHATTTTTTT???? see my mind exploded. 

Since then it hasn't still comprehended this. This is insane, do you know how good, how genius, how amazing Nanon and Ohm Pawat is?? Do you see the power this holds? The fact it's directed by Aof who's like one of the best directors ever in GMMTV??? Do you even know what this means? For this GENRE??? Sorry, I have to scream. I still can't believe this! This is something someone would say, and we'd laugh it of as a joke like yeah right, in your dreams, but it's real, and it looks absolutely amazing, is it a university setting YES, so what? This is everything, with haters to lovers but not really, to Romeo and Juliet pining and longing, to the chemistry that takes your breath away. To just Ohm and Nanon in a screen together being in love. Yep, you guessed it my mind is never goanna be whole again after this breakdown. Guess what I'm okay with it. 

Ratings: 5/5 OhmNanon, Aof that's it. That's the post.

A TALE OF A THOUSAND STARS

 Genre/Themes: Military, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Heart Transplant, Unrequited Love, Fish out of water, 

Verdict:

 And we come to this big one here. You see it? It screams 2021 show of the year to me, it screams incredible plot and romance to me, it screams unique and exciting BL to me. Guess what? It's also by Aof. Ha. It took me a year to accept this is happening because when the trailer came out, I knew that with this cursed genre that this was too good that there'd probably be some kind of issue with it. But did it matter? No! Because this was real. Earth and Mix were in a BL together, and it looks so amazing, so great, and it's coming in less than 3 months. I'm going to cry. And it means everything; because there's a hint of character dynamics, angst and also haters to lovers. I see the chemistry, the production, the plot, the actors, and I just feel so ready for this show that I have no other words to say except I love it, I love it, I love it!. 

Ratings: 5/5 It's taken years, but I'm ready for this, I just want the trailer now, I want the show now, I want 2021 to start now. This is definitely a giant for sure, it's everything, and I can't wait for it. 

After screaming at everything; 2021 starting with ATOTS is already a sign, we're in for a great year with so many incredible changes in this genre. GMMTV isn't messing around, with subs in their event to show international fans are no longer forgotten and are heard and respected, with actors that have made their way into my heart and refuse to leave, and I'm just so happy. It may seem so extreme to be this excited for a BL series to be good, but I love this genre, I love seeing what it represents to so many people, I love the interesting storylines, the discussions you can have for days because of it, the tears, angst, and happiness you feel. But most of all I love how BL has brought out writing from me, I'm happy when I analyse this genre, I'm delighted discussing real-life links and conversations derived from it, I'm so glad learning and humbling my self and opening my mind to new things. BL has been a source of excitement, shock and happiness this year. I can't for next year to be even more splendid, and with this line-up, it's going to be even more than that. It's going to break the world. Can't wait. 

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination.  Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work.  It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020.  I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look.  It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves.  Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area.  One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create.  Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself.  This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9.  WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be.  A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam!  Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future.  In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings.  Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us.  She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon.  Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure.  Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do.  It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power.  Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie.  After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8.  LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas).  Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises.  Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons.  The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up.  Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him.  He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero.  Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface.  The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed.  Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in.  One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7.  PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all.  It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers.  Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity.  Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically.  But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon.  This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect.  The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon.  This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away.  Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade.  Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6.  THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered.  Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan.  The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here.  Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’.  They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story.  Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large.  After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5.  MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year.  The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs.  I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA.  How? Why?  It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be.  Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then?  Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again.  The only catch?  The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances.  As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history.  Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times.  The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story.  Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”.  Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane?  Boy, that’s a tough one …

4.  ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now).  Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way.  Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer.  Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings.  Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady.  Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years.  Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade.  Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers.  Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon.  Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3.  1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed.  Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed.  The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from.  Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league.  It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack).  They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos.  That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same.  Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2.  BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen.  It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies).  It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist.  Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to.  Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about.  Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain.  Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy.  My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT.  Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz.  This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms.  It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!).  It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists.  Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020.  Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1.  TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with.  I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March.  Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT.  Still with us?  Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine.  The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic.  As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals.  Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven.  As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …

The Crow (1994)

Alright Cult of Cult. Do I really need to introduce this one? Let's get all 90s and gothy and maybe brace ourselves for a bit of cringe, but like in a fun way. It's the Holy Grail of Hot Topic, 1994's the Crow Starring Brandon Lee.

Sermon

Apparently before the auto industry totally crashed Detroit was already a total fucked to death pile of burning shit, or at least that's what the crow would have you believe. Sorry Bruce Campbell, and other people from Detroit, but mostly Bruce Campbell. According to the Crow the city of Detroit is the kind of place where gangs of warlock anarchist arsonists will bomb buildings, and murder and rape whoever they feel like and then walk around bragging about it the next day with absolutely zero consequences. Funny then that if Detroit was so bad they had to go to film this movie in Wilmington North Carolina which is definitely a fucked to death pile of burning shit. I can say that, I'm from there and I got the fuck out. My brother is going to kill me if he ever reads this. (It's okay, these are all jokes people). Did you know they also filmed the Super Mario Bros movie there ... also cuz they needed a really shitty looking distopia. Moving on ...

The ludicrous criminality of the Crow's Detroit is particularly on display on Halloween. In Detroit (apparently) Halloween is known as Devils Night and it's legitimately just a night of pure lawlessness and chaos and kids aren't even safe to get candy, except later when we do see trick or treaters. Eric Draven, hunky goth rocker who sort of looks like he could be Bruce Lee's Kid and his fiance are murdered by a gang of vicious criminals. One year hence, Eric is resurrected by a mystical crow (that is actually a Raven), to exact his revenge on the gang that murdered him.

He paints his face like sad Alice Cooper and refuses to listen to Joy Division, just covers. He murders Tin Tin (a knife guy) just for his long gothy duster, he murders Fun Boy and forcibly ejects heroine from her arms and tells her "Go be a good mom now" which actually works. (have I told you about our Lord and Savior Sting? He gave me the strength to get off drugs), he blows T Bird up dick first, and then comes for Skab? Scraap? Scooby? in a meeting of all of Detroits villains and just about kills them all.

He is supported by the most 90s little girl to have ever graced the screen, and I am here for it, and Officer Albrecht, who's played by Ernie Hudson but I like to call him Zeddemore: The Most Underrated Ghostbuster. The leader of the bad guys, who I cannot beleive wasn't played by Brad Dourif or Tom Waits, is pretty interested in the occult. He keeps his witchy girlfriend around and she makes him fun dishes like smoked eyeballs, and her main use is that she knows that the Crow is the Crows weakness. They set Tony Fucking Todd on the bird, and I guess you just have to hurt the bird and not kill it, and Eric loses his healing factor and other macabre undead powers.

The Crow, Jimmy the Raven, pecks out Dr. Girlfriends eyeballs, I honestly forget how Tony Todd gets offed, and Top Dollar gets Gargoyled (that is impaled on a gargoyle). Funnily enough that is more Gargoyle related impaling on screen then in the actual movie Gargoyle: Wings of Darkness where a Gargoyle is supposed to have impaled a guy.

The Benediction

Best Feature: Injustice League

In the Crow we have not only a set of super memorable villains but they are played by the bad guy all stars. John Polito as the most lowly of the bad guys as a kind of sleazy pawn shop owner who buys ill gotten gains. Tony Todd, who's size is really on display here, the freaking Candy Man is in this movie. T Bird is the head of Top Dollars goons and is played by David Patrick Kelly, you might know as the "Warriors Come Out and Play!!" bottle guy from the Warriors, or as Jimmy Horne from Twin Peaks, and of course Top Dollar himself is played by Michael Wincott. Wincott is not a particularly celebrated actor but has played villains effectively in Robin Hood, the Three Musketeers, and Dead Man.

Best Set Piece: Detroit Style Hot Dogs

The Set design of the Crow is perhaps one of it's most fantastic features. It's very moody and ethereal. It's just real enough to not take you out of the film, but fantastic enough to set mood and theme above realism. From Eric Draven's apartment, to the church where the final battle occurs they are all fantastic. I think that's why I really wanted to shine the spot light on a very minor set piece that would get nary a mention but just as effectively represents the qualities I was just talking about and that is the Maxi Doggs Hot Dog Stand, where a lot of the films exposition for audience surrogates takes place.

Worst Effect: Freeze Frame

At a few points in the movie the film makers made a strange decision to do these freeze frame transitions. I only noticed it twice in the movie where it was particularly stupid. I'm sure the film makers at the time thought it was a moody and atmospheric choice that highlighted the suffering that Eric Draven was going through, but it didn't age well. If you don't have the sensibilities of a goth girl from 1994 then it's very very hard not to laugh at just how self involved the movie is about it's super sadness.

Worst Feature: Tragic Accident

Solely based on the film itself, it is that very gothic and dated sensibility that hurts the Crow. The little sarcastic dance he does when he flees the police, quoting Edgar Allen Poe, and bowing to Albrecht. These affected behaviors that I'm sure seemed snarky and right on to the target audience only serve to make Eric Draven seem like an unbearable neck beard edgelord and not the troubled dark soul he's supposed to be. I'm sure at the time it seemed unique and gothy but that shit went out of style for good reason, people could see through it. It's a shame that the Crow himself was some of the cringiest parts of this movie now that I'm seeing it as an adult and not a 13 year old middle class boy with no real problems.

This however is not the low point of the movie. It's not news now and if you're reading some dudes review of The Crow on Tumblr then you probably already know the story. The worst thing about The Crow is that Brandon Lee was horrifically killed on set while filming this movie due to some negligible prop malfunctions. A series of unfortunate events that lead to the actor spending 6 hours in surgery fighting for his life before eventually passing. It was not a quick or painless death and it's really impossible to watch the movie without an appreciation for the fact that this kind of fun dark adventure was going to be a vehicle for Brandon Lee's career wound up taking his life. He was 28. I really wish I could have just bitched about the goofy goth stuff and moved on, but that's not the world we live in.

Best Effect: The Gargoyling

Maybe I should have called this best kill. But I'm not sure which it is. The slaying of Top Dollar at the Climax of the film was just super effective. The pointed wings impaling his chest and that horn coming out of his mouth, it was morbid and excellent and just fit the tone of the movie perfectly. I mean how many other movies can you say Cause of Death: Impaled on a Gargoyle.

Best Bird: The Raven

I tried very hard to look up the name of the bird that primarily performed in this movie and could not find anything. There was a Raven once upon a time called Jimmy the Raven, but that was in the 50s and I don't think birds live that long. There was a team of Ravens performing as the crow, they were chosen over crows for their larger size, and more imposing silhouettes. I just think it's so wonderful to see these often maligned birds get a chance to show off their talents. Corvids of all kinds are incredibly intelligent creatures. Im a sucker for animals, if you haven't already figured that out. I really liked seeing the ravens hit their marks, particularly the one whos job it was to drop the wedding ring into Sarah's hand at the end of the film. You can see that greedy little bastard do his trick and then look of camera at his trainer like "treat please!". It's very cute.

Best Actor: Top Dollar Performance

I'd love to take this opportunity to just put praise upon Brandon Lee, he truly gave everything for this role, but unfortunately with what was put to film we actually have very few character moments with Eric Draven. Stuff happens to him, and he does killings and fights. There's definitely some personality, but I felt like I walked away knowing almost nothing about who Eric Draven was. He was clearly a good dude but that and a few hobbies and a relationship and you don't really have a character yet. He's unfortunately not given a lot of acting to do, instead just relegated to stunts and action sequences. That were notably cool.

The bad guys in the Crow have a lot more character and among this who's who of character actors, Michael Wincott takes the cake. Hell he was standing next to Candyman himself, Tony Todd and still stealing the scenes.

Best Character: A Few Good Apples

Is the best character in The Crow really going to be the cop? The commissioner Gordon stand in? yeah, it is. Not to be political, but I don't like cops, but I guess in a world with magical birds and eyeball smoking I can suspend my disbelief and let Ernie Hudson be #1 cop dad. His character is really the heart of the film, since all Eric can do is brood and fight, we have to care about someone in this movie.

Best Sequence: Halloween Party

The best sequence of the movie is of course the scene where Eric Draven busts in on the Devil's Night party planning commission. I think Top Dollar brought Scrappy Doo there just so he could lure out the crow, knowing the baddest assholes in all of Detroit would be gathered it was likely that somebody was going to kill the beast, or if they couldn't at least Top Dollar could get a feel for his enemy. It's a bullet flying action sequence with a ton of weight. I can't put my finger on this all to common weightless third act problem that big budget super hero and action flicks have nowadays, but whatever that issue is, the Crow does not have that issue. From this point on the Climax feels earned and I am invested. For that reason, The Crow is honestly better in spite of its awkwardness, than many of the super hero movies out today.

Worst Sequence: My Guitar Gently Weeps

Speaking of brooding or fighting. The best sequence was fighting, the worst is brooding. I get that Eric was in a band or something, but didn't he have shit to do. It seemed like it was a cool idea for a shot, but for like a whole seen, watching somebody play an 80s guitar solo, that stood out so brazenly from the choices of music in the rest of the movie was extra corny. It felt like someone's( dad trying to relate to their kid. Oh you like Music. The Dresden Dolls eh? Oh man, then you're going to love Slash's Snake Pit!

Summary

The Crow is dated. It is iconic but I wonder how many of the people that hang that poster on the wall have watched that movie since they were kids. It's interesting how what i've liked and disliked about this film have changed so much sense I was a kid. It's a cheeseball fiesta. If you have matured at all beyond thinking that being sad is the same as being deep then you're going to like it a little less than you did when you were younger, but it is still solid. There's not much to hate on. I'd watch it over and over again. I was really afraid it would not hold up at all, but returning to The Crow was a completely positive experience.

Overall Grade: B

Why ‘War of the Worlds’ (2005) is a underrated masterpiece.

‘War of the Worlds’ was released in 2005, it is directed by the film god that is Steven Spielberg (Jaws, E.T.) and written by Josh Friedman (Terminator: Dark Fate, Avatar 2) and David Koepp (Jurassic Park, Mission: Impossible) 

Cast:  - Tom Cruise as Ray Farrier. - Justin Chatwin as Robbie Farrier. - Dakota Fanning as Rachel Farrier. - Miranda Otto as Mary Ann. -Tim Robbins as Harlan Ogilvy. - Ann Robinson as Grandmother.  - Gene Barry as Grandfather. 

First lets start with some history of ‘The War of the Worlds’ - The 2005 film is based off the novel of the same name which was written by H.G. Wells between 1895 and 1897, it then was then made into a series by Pearson’s Magazine in 1897 in the UK, Cosmopolitan in the US. Then becoming a hardback novel in 1898, it is one of the earliest written pieces to tell a story of conflict between Martians and man and so its one of the most commented on pieces of science fiction. 

It has been adapted and developed several times over many decades in many medias, the ones that come to mind are the famous 1938 dramatic radio reading that was directed and starred Orson Welles that actually caused public panic to those who listened in and didn’t know that the Martian invasion was fiction, its said that up to a million people ran out of their homes in terror.  (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Worlds_(1938_radio_drama) )

The 1953 ‘The War of the Worlds’ film adaptation, which was produced by George Pal and directed by Byron Haskin. It also starred Gene Barry (who played Dr. Clayton Forrester) and Ann Robinson (who played Sylvia Van Buren) who can also been seen at the end of the 2005 film, they play the grandparents of Robbie and Rachel which I think is a sweet little cameo to see for those who loved the 1953 film.  Ann Robinson also revived her role as Sylvia Van Buren in two other films and three episodes of ‘The War of the Worlds’ tv series in 1988. 

In 1978 the most well known musical album by Jeff Wayne was produced and based off the story of ‘War of the Worlds’ this album included the voices of Richard Burton and David Essex.

This was then turned into a concert musical which tours annually through out the UK and Europe, the concert includes live performers such as Carrie Hope Fletcher but also a 3D hologram of Liam Neeson. It also includes a mix of computer animation, pyrotechnics and a big mechanical tripod that comes out on stage and lights up and can fire its heat-ray. 

(Source: Birmingham Mail.)

There have also been several Tv series, the two newest being the 2019 BBC version staring Poldark’s Eleanor Tomlinson and Full Monty’s Robert Carlyle, that has a Edwardian setting and follows closely to the novel. 

The other being the FOX 2019 adaptation that is set in present day Europe but I found this version didn’t really go off the novel, and was frustrated with the lack of the famous Tripods.  (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Worlds) 

As a kid I would watch the 1953 film with my mum all the time as its one of her favourites and I do really like it, but then 2005 rolled around and in comes Steven Spielberg’s version. To be fair it was probably 2006 when I finally saw it, I was nine years old at the time and I remember my dad bringing home the DVD that someone at work had lent him. I don’t remember watching it but I do remember having nightmares for a month after, only for a month though.  Many years later when I was half way through high school and getting more and more into film my dad then bought the DVD from Woolworth's before it shut down, the DVD didn’t have a case only a see through CD case so I think it only cost him something like 50p. So I re-watched and again I don’t really remember this but all of a sudden I was hooked, and it climbed to the second spot on my favourite movies list where it still sits today. Honestly if you asked anyone I was friends with at that time they will tell you just how obsessed I was with it.  

I have many scenes that I love in this film the first being the rise of the first tripod, but there are two that I geek out over every time. 

The first scene being the one in the basement at Robbie and Rachel’s house, the scene starts off with Ray asleep in a chair. He starts to stir when when a blue flash of light on his face, but then jolts up right at a load whooshing noise followed by closely by Robbie shooting up from just below the camera. I love the way that Robbie appears sort of fits with the sound that’s heard, also the whole mood of the scene which is pitch black with this blue flashing light every now and then. The fact that you’re just as clueless as the characters as well, you find out what’s happening when they find out.  Also the way that Rachel appears behind the basement stairs, which will appear again near the end of the movie in a much more damaged basement which shows just how much their world has changed in just a short few days.  The sound design in this movie as well is something that I love, I love when the sound in a film alone can creep you out. The tripod sound is one of my favourite sounds to exist, like if I heard that from outside I would be so creeped out and scared.  At this moment in time Robbie and Rachel have no idea what is hunting them or what Ray has seen, Imagine running from something and seeing something completely destroy the whole of your neighbourhood yet not knowing what it looks like. This is what runs through my mind when I heart Rachel cry “Is it them, Is it them?!”  Then the next morning when Ray goes upstairs and see’s that the house is just completely destroyed by an aeroplane that has crashed down in the middle of the the housing estate. This Boeing 747 was a out of use plane and the production crew bought it for $60,000 which then cost them $200,000 to transport, it was then broken into pieces and houses were built around it. Which just shows how far some movie productions will go to make a film look more legit. (We love practical effects in this house.) This scene is still set up at Universal Studios Hollywood and can be seen on the Studio tour. 

(Basement and Plane crash scene.)

My second favourite scene, which is one of my all time top favourite scene ever with no surprise is the dock scene.  The speeding train that’s on fire is absolute stunning in every sense but for me the scene starts when the music starts.  ‘If I ruled the world, everyday would be the first day of spring.’ But i’m really glued to the screen when Rachel starts to follow the birds coming in from the river to in land, she follows them up to the hill where she notices the tree’s on the top are moving weirdly. “The tree’s are funny.” She then reaches out and grabs onto Rays hand who was talking to a friend.  Robbie turns to the hill as the camera slowly comes back and shows Robbie also turning to look at where Ray is looking. (Just remembering that this is the first time Robbie and Rachel ever see the tripods.) 

The camera then shows us what the family is looking at to reveal a tripod stood on the top of the hill, it then moves one of its legs which crushes a tree and makes everyone else look back. Obviously chaos ensues from this point on, everyone running trying to get onto the ferry to get away from the impending doom, unfortunately we learn that no where, not even on the water is safe. As a tripod comes up from out of the water and attacks the ferry, the family manage to escape and get to land on the other side of the ferry. They stop for a moment to catch their breath as people are being picked out of the water below them, they turn as a old air raid alarm is heard on the other side of the hill and we see tripods coming over another hill that was filled with people and using their head rays to wipe them all out, we also see in the distance a lighting storm indicating more Martions are still coming to earth. The scene is like a depiction of all the stages of the attack.  (Dock attack scene.)

I mean all the action scenes in this movie are just so beautiful and amazing, but did we expect any less from Spielberg? And the CGI and practical are all done extremely well and fitted together to make a scene look as real as possible. One of the art directors that worked on this film, Doug J. Meerdink who has also worked on Jurassic Park: III, Cloverfield and Jurassic World. 

I was looking up some trivia on IMDB for this movie and found that there was a deleted scene that is called the ‘Camelot’ scene. This scene is supposed to take place between the attack on the ferry and the battle on the hill, it involves Ray, Rachel and Robbie walking through an abandoned housing estate that’s named Camelot, when a pack of tripods start walking near by.  One of the tripods breaks off and the family has to take cover behind a SUV, they watch helplessly from behind as the tripod reaches into the house and grabs people from the houses. This scene has never been released but apparently it was fully finished, VFX and all but then taken out a few weeks before post production was wrapped up.  There is only one official video from this scene that was in the actual trailer for the film, and it’s only a shot of the family hiding behind the SUV. 

The only other shot from the scene is this landscape shot of a CGI tripod. 

There are also photos of the set designers setting up the miniature of the housing estate to shoot this scene, the rest are fan arts of how the scene maybe looked/ played out.  (Source)

I really hope that one day Steven releases this scene, or for some anniversary adds it into an extended version of the film like we’ve seen for other films. Because I would love that so much! It seems like such an incredible scene, and to see the tripods up this close again would be so cool! 

One of the trailers that was released for this film doesn’t have any of the film shots it in, It takes place in a normal neighbourhood where people are just going about their normal nightly routine when suddenly over the hill there are all these brilliant flashing lights, everyone's just coming out of their houses in their pj’s and standing in the street marvelling at this sight in front of them. Then we see explosions and suddenly heat rays are blowing up the tress on the street which then goes into the title.  I just love this, a trailer that doesn’t give anything away from the movie but creeps you out enough to be invested.  (Trailer.)

All in all it’s just an very visually pleasing film, it feels real enough to give you a sense of fear for the characters and for yourself. I also love that Steven stayed true to the source material,more truer than some of the other adaptations and also added in his own little Easter eggs.  The sounds, the aesthetic, the colours just everything comes together so beautifully. I think its a very underrated movie that deserves so much more love.