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fireemblems24 · 10 months

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Azure Gleam Ch 8

Spoilers for AG below. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Last chapter was 😭😭😭😭😭😭

STORY

Cornelia just needs to go awayyyyy. It's ok, more beating up on Cornelia is good.

Poor Annette, her uncle turned against Dimitri 😭😭😭 Poor baby has to fight her uncle.

Oh, more Faerghus history. It got split into 3 at one point, which explains why House Dominic might fight against Dimitri. They think her uncle is sort of forced into the uprising.

I'm so glad they want to convince her uncle to change sides. Steal their leader too.

God, I love this route.

Duscur chief throwing their full support behind Dimitri. I love this so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm so happy to see Dimitri getting some love. Can Dedue talk to this guy too, though? At least Dedue was there.

Dimitri giving Dedue and Rodrigue credit. And Dedue giving Dimitri credit. Ofc these two.

Dedue getting to talk about Duscur 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Dimitri switched from "my" to "our" duty. Boy is growing up and LISTENING to Felix. Good 😭😭😭. And Felix, like, not being abusive but helpful. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

CAMP/SIDE BATTLES

Man, I love seeing so many people from Duscur in the camp now. More than there used to be.

Wait, did Hapi just call Dimitri "Didi?" That's really cute.

Ah, people commenting that it seems like Felix and Rodrigue are now getting along 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Flayn is too precious for this world. Saying she's noticed that Dimitri looks more at peace and credits that to his friends and says she wants more friends herself.

Oh, oh, it sounds like from Catherine we're getting Shamir on this route soon!

Ingrid is just casually talking with someone from Duscur about training with the spear. Bless this game for giving us these details. Ingrid. Deserves. Character. Development. (and to live, fuck Scarlet Blaze).

Dimitri's boyfriends are talking and he's like handing out at the bottom of the stairs where he can hear but not see them. II bet he's listening in, lol.

Oh, they're talking about Duscur soldiers. Felix only cares that they're good fighters. Of course he does. Felix is so sour. I love him.

Dimitri spent the night getting scolded by Felix. 😌 I hope they had fun. 👌 On a serious note, apparently Felix and Dimitri used to talk together all night and this was like old times. This group, I swear. Dedue came in and argued with Felix. Three-way. 😌

Edelgard is attacking us. Shocking.

Dimitri's torn between needing to attack the West and defending himself from Edelgard.

Rodrigue wants to focus on the West. So does Dimitri.

Seteth tells Dimiri to send Serios to defend Faerghus.

Looks like Annette's uncle is finding out the truth about Duscur. Seems like he'll side with Dimitri now.

Baron Dominic sympathizes with them (as Lambert favored the Eastern lords, or so they claim, who knows), but has some interesting dialogue.

"I understand the situation you found yourself in, but I fail to see the righteousness or necessity in the measures you chose." And even better. "Yet one can never predict what may lie on the other side of a violent, radical revolution." "Surely a dialogue is a more preferable to cold-blooded murder." Safe to say he'd never side with Edelgard.

Annette, your uncle is based.

Cornelia is back. Man, she's by far the most fun villain.

INGRID & RODRIGUE C SUPPORT

Super happy they let these two support. But if they start talking about Glenn, I'm going to cry.

They're talking strategy together.

Ingrid's like "I command Galatea, I can't retreat." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (she just died in SB for anyone wondering)

Rodrigue is helping her figure it all out. He's such a Team Dad in this game, and I LOVE it. This is exactly what I thought his supports would be like.

Oh, Ingrid's brother used to serve as Rodrigue's squire. He was the one who came up with the strategy.

Glad I get to hear more about Ingrid's brothers. I think they got mentioned like once and I always find it cool that she's the heir over her brothers despite men always getting favored over women.

Rodrigue also wants to make sure Ingrid takes care of herself. He's such a Dad.

SHEZ & DIMITRI B SUPPORT

Dimitri got knocked out while training and is beating himself up over it. Shez blames his exhaustion. Let's be real. She's right.

"Dedue and Felix in particular didn't know what to do with themselves." Man, this game ships Dimilix and Dimidue so hard.

Shez ran things while Dimitri was out. Setting up camp.

"Everyone, and I mean everyone, thinks you need to take more breaks." I love this side of Dimitri so much.

Ah, Shez, Ingrid, Sylvain, Ashe, Annette, Rodrigue, Mercedes, Felix, and Dedue all getting mentioned doing various things. I love how much these supports mention other Blue Lions.

Dimitri's insisting he's doing better, but he's doing too much. I love how he mentioned that this is what he wants to do too.

Shez accuses Dimitri of not trusting them, but Dimitri says it's not about that.

Shez told everyone about the C support stuff with Dimitri burying the villagers who died in the war.

Man, I love these two as friends. Someone lighthearted like Shez just plays off someone somber like Dimitri so well.

DIMITRI & DEDUE B SUPPORT

It's happening 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, god, it's the same. Someone telling Dimitri to fucking sleep.

Dedue isn't taking his shit. Good.

Dimitri relents because he knows Dedue will get his way and asks Dedue to help wrap things up.

Dimitri wrote in Duscurian. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 You have NO idea how elated I am this got confirmed as cannon (that Dimitri learned Duscur's language).

He's writing Duscur for help, working with them on the investigation into the tragedy.

Dedue's like, go to sleep, this can wait. And Dimitri's like, what if I die? This can't wait. Dimitri's so fucking dramatic.

Dedue ain't taking shit. Keeps insisting Dimitri just sleep, lamo.

Dedue asked if Dimitri still has nightmares about it. :( Dimitri's surprised that Dedue remembered them. As if he wouldn't.

Guys, I can't with this. OMG. 😭 It's cannon.

When they were younger, Dimitri would ask for Dedue when he was having nightmares, pretending he thought Dedue needed protection, and then they'd fall asleep together.

Like, this shit is straight out of fanfic. Whoever wrote AG deserves a raise and is a shipper.

Dedue liked that Dimitri did that.

Lamo, Dimitri told DEDUE to rest. Like, tone-deaf hypocrite.

Guys, this who support was really sweet and tender, which is peak their interactions romantic or not.

SHEZ & ANNETTE B SUPPORT

Oh boy, this is still about Annette's songs.

Her attempt to change the lyrics didn't work. And people are reading way too deep into her lyrics. 🤣

Ahh, Annette wanted to add Duscur mythology into her song. It's cannon that Dedue taught Annette Duscur stories. My heart.

OH MY GOD. This game just got meta. Saying that once the lyrics are out there, it's out of the author's hands and up to whoever is listening to interpret it. 🤣🤣🤣

Guys, we're getting called out for reading way too much into a fantasy JRPG about killing dragons with wide hips and pale mole men.

Shez encouraged Annette by saying the songs inspired people.

DOROTHEA & FLAYN C SUPPORT

Now THIS is an interesting match up, esp since I seriously, seriously doubt Dorothea can get this support in her native route.

Flayn's asking about Dorothea's days as a diva.

Flayn's voice sounds pitcher different than in Houses.

Flayn wants to learn new songs. And Dorothea wants to start with the most complicated ones lol.

Funny that this is also about the power of songs lol.

They both want to investigate a legend of a song that ended a war.

ASHE & SYLVAIN B SUPPORT

Sylvain offers to help Ashe investigate something, but Ashe is just trying to learn.

Sylvain and Ashe are both wishing they could've just been normal students getting to learn things and have fun. :(

Sylvain helps Ashe read deeper into everything and starts seeing the bigger picture of wars with Sreng.

Ashe begs Sylvain to keep teaching him.

Pretty cute and more examples of Sylvain being smart and the team older brother and Ashe being a book nerd.

INGRID & MERCEDES B SUPPORT

They're cleaning up together. Ingrid is concerned that Mercedes is pushing herself too much. Mercedes feels bad that she wasn't strong enough to do a lot of the work.

Ok, so some info about Ingrid's brothers. She has 2, they're both much older than her so they're not close. One is an advisor in Galatea, and another is serving another house as a knight.

Ingrid's brother was strict with her. She thinks it was over her crest, but Mercedes insists they probably just loved her.

Mercedes says older siblings are just like that.

She also then ruffles Ingrid's hair lol.

I'm glad this one has an A support.

DIMITRI & RODRIGUE B SUPPORT

Finally!

Oh, God, this is going to be about all of them as kids 😭😭😭

Matthias returned Lambert's sword to Rodrigue like 30 years after borrowing it lol.

While at the Officer's Academy, Rodrigue charged too far ahead and the other two got into a fistfight while debating how/if to save Rodrigue. 🤣🤣🤣

Matthais wanted to wait. Lambert wanted to go ahead. Rodrigue doesn't know who won.

So Lambert and Rodrigue also liked to charge ahead.

😭😭😭😭😭😭 Rodrigue doesn't think Matthais accepted Lambert's death until Dimitri took the throne.

Dimitri thinks he started the war and that Lambert would disapprove of him. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Rodrigue says he doesn't think so.

Dimitri begs Rodrigue to stop him if he ever does anything that Lambert would hate. Rodrigue says he'd die to do so. Fuck that. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 He can't fucking die again. Rodrigue gets to live this time. I refuse anything else.

MAIN BATTLE/STORY

Time to kick Cornelia's ass for the nth time! Never gets old.

Dimitri is sending Annette and Gilbert to recruit Baron Dominic. Felix is cautious and thinks killing him now is safest, but Dimitri insists on trying to recruit him.

Rodrigue says that they'd just promote his son if Baron Dominic died, so it's better to try and recruit rather than kill and kill.

Their army is spread thin because most are defending from the Empire.

Shez is like "you've all grown up, Dimitri." She's happy to see Dimitri at ease.

Arval called Shez and the others friends. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Trying to get Shez to fight Byleth lamo. Arval is obsessed. Arval is suspicious af, not going to lie. Baiting Shez into doing what he/she? wants by going on about getting stronger that way.

Shez wants her purpose to be fighting for Dimitri and doesn't need to fight Byleth anymore.

OMG Duscur generals came and helped us out 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 You have no idea how happy it makes me to see Duscur get more involved.

Cornelia talked trash about Duscur, saying she should've wiped them all out.

Man, Cornelia went down fast. Two special hits from Sylvain and Ingrid took her out. #deserved

I hope she dies for real this time.

Wait, what, did Edelgard kill Patricia? That . . . doesn't make sense?

Bitch is dead! Or it seemed like it? Not gonna lie, she's a fun as hell villain because she's just so awful. Yep, she dead. Finally.

Dimitri doesn't fully believe Cornelia, but does think Edelgard knows more than he does about what happened. And believes the Empire was involved in the tragedy.

Oh, good! Everyone learns that Edelgard is Dimitri's step-sister in this storyline too. I always liked how Dimitri opened up to everyone. It seemed Very Blue Lions, esp compared to the other two who never come clean.

Rodrigue offers to explain what happened. It's mostly stuff we all know already, like Cornelia's backstory.

Real Cornelia sounded so awesome. It's awful her name gets destroyed. I'm glad here the truth will get exposed. The real woman deserves it.

So it seems like Cornelia asked Faerghus to rescue Patricia, so TWSITD planted Patricia from the start and manipulated the whole situation with Lambert. Patricia was likely faking the whole time.

Ashe isn't sure they can have a chat about things. But this is Dimitri, he always wants to invite people to talk rather than just war.

Dimitri put reconstruction of the Western Faerghus in charge of Gustave and Baron Dominic.

Glad to see Dimitri is still focused only on defense of the Silver Maiden and not land grabbing. I was worried because they have Claude go for it, which is entertaining as hell, but I'm a bit more protective of Dimitri lol.

XXXX

#azure gleam #fire emblem #fire emblem three hopes #three hopes #three hopes spoilers #azure gleam spoilers

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party-in-eldarya · 1 year

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random genshin thoughts:

i dont know how did i survive exploration without Zhongli and Kazuha. I remember 15 minuts of trying to gently put Amber's Baron Bunny (sounds like a kinky name) on those round tiles.

Mihoyo-yoyo listening to our pleas wasn't the best thing ever. I find them making characters less problematic (awww, he is just misunderstood) makes them also less interesting. I know, Childe hate train was strong.

Speaking of my number one psycho husband- why is he so hated? You have Ei, who was murdering her own plp in hope it will bring her eternity closer. Yes, she is a complex person. Yes, she is cute. We have Wanderer who is a short gremlin, more than ok with killing plp, and whose lines about... well, anyone, are pretty nasty. Yae Miko. We have characters that aren't exactly nice plp (or plp at all) and yet majority of fandom likes them while actively disliking Childe.

That card game is pretty fun.

I cannot make any of my character hit harder than 50k. I don't know how youtubers do it, but I no longer care.

Nahida's quest was a bit disappointing. After Aranara quest (which made me crying, I am only a bit ashamed of admitting this), and chilling Sabzeruz Festival quest, hers was... ok? She really showed some guts and dealt with Dottore nicely.

Al Haitham when? JK, I am 23 pulls poor, so he should wait.

Paimon speaks too much. Wish they could use Lumine/Aether VAs more often, because that little floating shit never shuts up.

#genshin impact

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faroreswinds · 2 years

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Azure Gleam - Chapter 11

Alrighty, here we go, chapter 11!

Story

Sylvain says its a bit scary because they are trusting the Church a lot. Seriously, this weird mistrust in the Church is just dumb.

The Western Church is undergoing reform now. A new bishop will be chosen too.

Petra is not happy with the Empire and has decided that they will not be having a relationship with Brigid during her lifetime.

Some distrust of the Alliance. Even Shez is like “I don’t know, man.” Doesn’t help that Lorenz also agrees with him, saying that Claude is difficult to trust. So... there’s that.

Apparently Jeralt’s company is working under Randolph. Jeralt really has a poor sense of morality, huh?

Apparently Randolph doesn’t want to be part of the raids they are doing, according to an Imperial solider NPC who escaped. Even “turned a blind eye” to him escaping. Kinda hard to feel pity when the dude was a-ok with conquering before.

An NPC says that some Adrestian Nobles still care about the Empire’s wellbeing, and wishes there was a way we could work with them. I mean... I guess? But once again, it’s really hard to feel sympathy for people who are so ready to conquer. And they don’t seem to be trying anything to stop the Duke either.

Dimitri truly loved Patricia, according to Rodrigue, since she was the only mother he ever knew. Then Rodrigue says that this time, they are the invaders to the Empire. Technically true, but like.... it’s not equal, man, come on.

Felix, in his own way, expresses some concern that his father is running himself ragged. (Then points out that he doesn’t have any room to criticize since he is running ragged himself).

Aw, Hilda sent the Alliance crew a care package. Cute.

Lol, Yuri criticizes Balthus for buddying up with the Empire. Balthus takes it and hits it back, pointing out that Yuri worked for Rowe. Yuri implies he hated it and maybe didn’t have a choice? Oh well.

Annette: “Now we are invading. :(” Shez “They started the fight, what’s wrong with fighting back?” “Hmmm, I’m not sure that reasoning is convincing enough for me.”

Literally why not, what else are we supposed to do, just twiddle our thumbs until the Empire kills itself off?

Some NPCS have changed their minds about the Church, having once believed they were a pile of garbage till they saved their life.

Another NPC admits to siding with the Empire originally since she believed they would win. Now she’s with the Kingdom for the same reason.

Marianne is concerned about Edelgard. Literally why, she started the war.

Of course, Dorothea is also worried about Edelgard. At least she is actually friends with her. But I’m getting really sick of this game gaslighting me and pushing Edelgard down my throat.

Oh, Hanneman appears in a side map! Fascinating, fascinating. So is Ladislava.

And now for the big chapter battle.

Seems like this is similar to the SB battle where a bunch of houses are together as one, except this time on the Empire’s side instead of the Kingdom one.

Dimitri reminds everyone that we are the invading force this time, so it makes sense that the houses are banding together to protect their livelihoods.

“Not after what we have done” Ashe, buddy.... they attacked first.

Dimitri comments that he knows that if they lost their way, he knows that everyone will help him come back from it. (YES! This is what AM was missing, so nice now).

Oh, we can recruit Linhardt and Constance this chapter? For some reason, I thought Linhardt would be later.

Looks like we are killing Duke Gerth. Kinda a shame, really. He’s actually a nice one.

Oh, Monica is here! Can I kill her?

Linhardt is a Holy Knight? Interesting. Oh also, Hanneman is here.

Linhardt says he doesn’t have it in him to kill Petra. Petra is way cutthroat though, kek.

Lol, Linhardt calls us cruel for beating him up first before we actually ask him to switch sides. He does kinda have a point, lol.

So we killed Baron Ochs. But not the other lords.

Manuela is here too, excellent.

Wait, we don’t kill Monica?! NOOOO

Ok, maybe we killed two more Empire lord. Still, low death count so far. Manuela just retreats too. Hanneman as well, And Duke Gerth. Not as devastating as the SB version was, which basically killed everyone except Annette, if you wanted to let her go.

At least this route has guilt, not even SB had that. They even recognize that while it sucks, if they just sit back it won’t be good in the long run.

Whoa, Felix just kinda defended Dimitri, saying not to put everything on him. That’s my boy.

Lambert also took the throne young (Rodrigue says too young).

Dimitri and Lambert are nearly identical, except Lambert had a shorter temper.

Rodrigue had hoped Felix wouldn’t have been like him so much. Both he and Felix can’t live without serving some sort of greater purpose. For Rodrigue, that was living to make sure he kept Lambert’s promise.

Rodrigue says that Dimitri needs someone to take his hand and pull him in the right direction. He says he needs a friend, not a retainer, to do that. I guess that’s their piss poor reasoning for why it has to be someone besides Felix or Dedue.

Whoa, Arval gave his stamp of approval of Rodrigue, calling him a wonderful man. And he’s RIGHT, DAMN IT.

Oh, hi there Randolph. Guess this is his time to die.

Basically, the Empire army is mostly reduced to scrabble competing to kill the most or whatever. All picked by Duke Aegir.

Randolph tells Jeralt that if he dies, his contract will be considered terminated and Jeralt will be free to stop supporting the Empire and it’s fall into depravity. If he wasn’t an invading force, I would almost respect him.

Time to march closer to Enbarr.

Paralogue

Dimitri, Rodrigue, and Sylvain Paralogue....

A Sreng attack is coming. The leader was a previous prisoner of war that Sreng had offered up. Despite the attack having killed Matthias’ first wife, he agreed to take the boy and treat him well. He taught him the language and the ways of Foldan. But the boy eventually ran back home, with all that knowledge to boot.

Dimitri finds it profound to be on the same battlefield that his father had been one once. Sylvain finds it uncomfortable that it’s still the exact same fight though.

Lol, it’s funny that only Felix is missing here, like the trio of the past (Margrave, Rodrigue, and the late king) versus Felix, Sylvain, and Dimitri.

Matthias’ first wife was a start pupil of the Black Eagle house, and a classmate of Rodrigue and Matthias. Matthias became known as the “Wall of Ice” after she was killed in the Sreng attack.

The Sreng Commander had been planning this for a while now. Seems to also be using the Margave’s tactics he had taught him years ago.

And he apparently knew Miklan and Sylvain personally as well, so he must have been there for quite a while.

After his defeat, the commander ran off. But before he did, he and Sylvain joked with each other a bit.

The Margrave feels upset, that he taught the man how to speak their language and educated them. But Dimitri says that that was how they managed to get through to him in the first place.

Sylvain wants to bring peace between the Kingdom and Sreng, even if it takes him his whole life. Sreng wants a port and warmer land, but the Kingdom already has little to spare. So Matthias has no idea how this could end in peace.

Matthias kinda stormed off. Despite calling Sylvain naive, he actually wonders to Rodrigue if he himself is actually the naive one. He agrees with Rodrigue that he will go apologize to Sylvain for what he had said to him.

Lambert had hoped to forge peace between Duscur and Sreng. He was unsuccessful with Sreng, but had been making strides with Duscur.

Dimitri hopes this will end in peace, especially since he wants to end the need for Relics.

And I guess he did because we got the Lance of Ruin! Wish we could actually SEE that scene but... Well, we kinda do in another route-ish? So, whatever.

While not an exciting battle, I liked the premise of the paralogue and what it had to offer to the story on the whole.

A little extra note here, but this commander is 100% Leif (from the book Military History of Partholon). He is technically a prince, although never named as such. Oleg, the Sreng chief, died when a large beast (likely the Wind Caller pissed that people were in his home, but it could have been another random beast) killed him. Leif is his grandchild, the youngest of Oleg’s son’s children.

Supports

Now that Rodrigue is back, we can get to his supports.

Shez and Rodrigue B - Shez wants to have a snowball fight after the war. But apparently, Kingdom snowballs fights are basically snowball wars.....Of course it is. So cute though, thinking about Rodrigue getting ambushed by Lambert. And Matthias is apparently a cunning snowball fighter. Then Ingrid’s dad came out of nowhere (he is much older than the others) and grabbed them by the scruffs of their necks and forced them to end the fight. Stinking cute.

Rodrigue and Dimitri A - They talk about Lambert’s death a bit. Then, Dimitri asks what would Rodrigue have done if Dimitri had died that day too. Rodrigue urges Dimitri to value his life, if he wants Rodrigue to value his own. Dimitri doesn’t want Rodrigue to die for him, he believes it would destroy him. It would be like losing his father all over again. Touching support.

Yuri and Dimitri B - Dimitri learns that the people aren’t just standing around waiting for handouts. He wants to be a ruler that listens to everyone. Yuri points out that before people can participate in the government, they need stability and food on the table. Stability, food -> no longer worrying about dying -> more willing to go get educated -> get educated -> can understand what they would want or need for their future more -> participate in government intelligently. Yuri offers his services to help Dimitri raise the funds needed for this process, but Dimitri refuses at first (mostly because Yuri is a known underground crime lord) but promises to consider it. Yuri promises that he would never do something underhanded in Dimitri’s name. I’ve wanted this support chain for years, and it has not disappointed.

Shez and Catherine A - Not a particularly exciting support. I don’t really have anything to say about it. Just a “put one foot in front of the other” support.

Sylvain and Ignatz B - That painting is from 200 years ago, around the time when the Officer’s Academy was founded. They think it might be a painting of the archbishop at the time, although wonder why she is painted in plain clothes. Apparently her rule was not long, because she “died” of illness. It is said birds mourned her loss? The woman also looks like Rhea (so it’s probably Rhea). They speculate that maybe the lady (Rhea) wanted to be represented in common clothes on purpose to be free of the trappings of her position, or maybe the painter wanted to represent how she cared about the poor and downtrodden. A sneaky support about Rhea in the end. Has me wondering, though, why Rhea faked her death by illness 200 years ago.

Ingrid and Marianne B - Ingrid grew up around Pegasi, which are basically horses on wings. Why tf is Ingrid so suddenly incapable of being around her horse properly. And why are they talking still, go fucking save your friend on the battle field!

Felix and Raphael A - Felix goes hunting for boar. Kinda cool that this support calls back to Petra teaching Raphael hunting techniques. Felix talks about how his house and Dimitri’s house used to go hunting together (Dimitri bagged a shit ton of animals, Felix barely got away with his life against a boar). Raphael goes confused about which boar Felix is talking about (kek). I guess Felix isn’t the best hunter, lol. Raphael helps him take down the boar, learns a lesson along the way... sort of. Helping ain’t a bad thing. Also calls Raphael a friend. Cute.

Sylvain and Yuri B - Yuri and Sylvain snuffed out some spies. Sylvain had not hesitated to dispatch them, which surprised Yuri. Yuri admits that he is surprised that Sylvain didn’t hunt him down for killing his brother. Sylvain says its water under the bridge if Yuri helps with the war. But warns that he will not hesitate to kill him if Yuri betrays them. Still, they respect each other. Yuri comments that Sylvain is actually a loyalist deep down (except in CF, kek), and then suggests a date might be fun. Like... a date date. Sylvain is into it? Oh mama, oh lord, these boys will be the death of me.

Annette and Lorenz B - Lorenz compliments Annette for her achievements. Annette is surprised. Their relationship is mended to a degree.

Annette and Ignatz B - Annette clears up some misunderstandings. Gustave may be the best fighter, but he’s a worrywart, and terrible taking care of himself. So while he may be an outstanding fighter, but knights need more skills than just being the best fighter. So Ignatz still has a lot of strengths that are contributing, even if it’s not Gustave’s level of fighting.

Yuri and Seteth A - When the plague came through the kingdom, Yuri was saved by an old man. His mother found him, and they took the man in and cared for him. Then Yuri got sick. Yuri doesn’t know how, but the old man saved him. (The old man is dead now). Seteth then tells him that one of the Ten Elites had a terminal illness, but was cured because he got a crest. Yuri concludes that the old man must have given him a Crest, and that he is going to live a very long life as a result. Seteth, quietly, reveals that the old man was likely Aubin. Apparently, Aubin cursed the blood that flowed through his veins, but likely found salvation because he was able to save a child’s life through it. I guess Aubin might have been one of Nemesis followers before he changed sides, and cursed what he had done. Only a guess on my part though.

Shamir and Catherina A - Catherine had wanted to go drag Shamir back after Shamir slipped away. But Rhea stopped her, and that it wasn’t fair to impose the Church on others, especially those from another land (HMMMMM, NO SHIT?!). They both admit that they missed each other, and that they trust each other deeply. If Shamir didn’t switch sides as easily as slipping burgers, I might actually believe her. Sort of. I mean, she’s mot lying here, but despite the romantic undertones Shamir can still kill Catherine and show very little remorse for it. At least Felix goes into states of depression.

Books

Military History of Partholon

Harpstring Moon, Year 892

The Sreng people mounted a large-scale invasion. They crossed the Ruska Mountains in the north and descended south into Faerghus.

King Banfig built a string of strongholds along the north of his domain, from Blaiddyd to Fraldarius, including Conand Tower.

Wyvern Moon, Year 895

Sreng was forced to retreat. The Kingdom was poised for a counterattack.

However, Sreng’s resistance and harsh, snowy conditions caused them to abandon their attack. Thus, hostilities drew to a close.

After the campaign, a young and fierce general by the name of Laetitia Zoe Gautier, royal knight and descendant of the elite hero Gautier, was widely praised.

Great Tree Moon, Year 896

Banfig confers the northern part of his territory on Laetitia. She is given the title of margrave and tasked with defending Faerghus’s border.

She strengthened defenses in the north, constructing strongholds throughout the Ruska Mountains on the border of Sreng, and reclaiming the Lance of Ruin from the Church of Seiros.

... Verdant Rain Moon, Year 1169

Having waited for summer, King Lambert joins with northern lords Gautier and Fraldarius to march on Sreng. The Kingdom army sets up camp in a single stronghold within the Ruska Mountains and opens hostilities with the Sreng army.

While engaging the Sreng chief Oleg and his forces. a gigantic beast suddenly enters the fray. It lays waste to both sides. Lambert sustains grave injuries, and Oleg disappears into a ravine.

Oleg’s son offers his own youngest child Leif as prisoner to House Gautier to broker peace.

#Azure Gleam #my-playthrough #Three Hopes

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isolated-bug · 2 years

Text

Whats this? You ask? Silco Might not have been shooting to kill?

Lets begin If you havent watched Georgia Dow’s youtube video “Therapist Reacts: Silco & Jinx” uh... why not? go do it.. its soooooooo good. Watching her video a while ago and the scenes she paused got me thinking more. As per usual i will put a SPOILER WARNING and a read more break to protect those who havent finished the show!

So, Georgia Dow is a therapist and releases videos analyzing characters in popular media. She is doing arcane and so far has released an analysis of young Jinx and of the relationship between Silco and Jinx and it pretty much aligned with exactly what I gleaned from their relationship except for a few slight deviations here and there, particularly, how she interpreted Silco shooting at Vi at the tea party scene. It is important to note that in the comments section of her video, Georgia did respond to a person who said they saw that scene differently and posed that he was not shooting at Vi for selfish “kill the bitch” reasons and she agreed that another run-through or a few could change her mind and she would watch again with that alternate interpretation to see if she thought that was more fitting. The way she would pause and replay certain small clips and describe things in them really got me thinking even more about that scene and I've come to a new conclusion. I don't think Silco was shooting to kill. Think about that scene. like, seriously, go re-watch it and pause it a lot if you can. Silco knew that Zapper was on the table in front of him for a while. But unlike Cait, he didnt immediately go for it. He trusted that he was safe in Jinxs game and she needed to have it go this way to figure things out. He was facilitating the fantasy in the environment she needed to feel comfortable addressing her problem. After watching that scene TOO many times like ME (cuz i am a crazy person) you can even interpret what he is saying while the mask is still on.. sorta. Anyhow, Silco seems pretty comfy tied to a chair until Cait gets things heated up. Then he looks with concern at Jinx and to Vi, almost telling her with his eyes “stop this”. But, he still doesnt struggle against the ropes because he has confidence his daughter knows how to fight and she is armed. Silco only begins to struggle when Jinx starts having a psychotic episode at Vi’s hands. Flashes of the scene show him struggling his hardest, visceral, feral, attempts to get freed to protect his daughter all while yelling “shut up!” at Vi and “dont listen to her” at Jinx. He knows whats happening.. he can see her mind attacking her.

After several good hefty struggles against the ropes, he FINALLY grabs the gun. He takes a few moments to aim... staring down the barrel of the gun.

Now, look, Silco isnt likely to be the best fighter. But you dont get to rule the undercity and chem barons and run a drug operation and be a criminal overlord without learning how to shoot a gun. (oh! haha, ok, new addition and total side not derailing from the topic but wouldnt it be cute if Silco had a gun Jinx made for him and drew all over and gave a name to and it was like.. his most precious gun?) *clears throat* ANNNNNNYWAYS So, big ol’ scary crime lord has a gun... and is aiming at a target 10 feet away from him... who is restrained in place. with no cover to speak of. that... that doesnt miss. you would have to be the worst shot in the world to miss. If you pause and go frame by frame in the scene as the bullets are flashing, you can see that in the gun flashes it shows Vi being shot at. BUT, her chair is not swiveled yet. she is just barely ducking her head. So her swiveling the chair did nothing to help her avoid a bullet.. she was too slow.

“well maybe Silco missed” is what someone is going to say right? No, i dont think so. Do you see where the bullet hole is in Vi’s chair?

Now lets look what her positioning in her chair was while yelling at Jinx and putting her through mental head jail yeah?

Do you see how EVEN IF Vi would NOT have leaned down or swiveled etc it STILL wouldnt have killed her? It still would have missed? This is a fricken straight on view of that chair.

I always found the fact that Silco shot at Vi odd but originally dismissed it as desperation to help Jinx, even if it meant killing Vi in front of her. but that didnt fully sit right with me. I still think that helping Jinx was the motivation but I dont think he was shooting to kill anymore. mind you, I *do* believe Silco *wanted* Vi dead. Vi posed a threat of taking away his daughter and i dont think he ever would have let that sit well with him. But i think that he also knew how much Vi meant to Jinx and would never kill her, especially not in front of Jinx. And even not sneakily... because if Jinx ever found out, he knew his relationship with her would be destroyed. Both in life and in murder, Vi had the power to take his daughter from him. And i dont think Silco ever would have risked that... he loved Jinx too much.

But in this tea party moment, I think he was shooting to scare. Just close enough to her head to frighten her into shutting the fuck up so Jinx could have some breathing room to calm down. If Silco was aiming to kill, she would have been dead. The more I think about this scene in the context of Silcos relationship with Jinx, the more that explanation makes sense to me and fits better. Its the missing piece for the one question that didn't sit right with me... "why kill Vi in front of Jinx" In fact, i dont think Silco ever tried to kill Vi after she returned. Silco NEVER ordered Vi dead. Sevika tries to kill Vi in their fight. Then tells Silco about what happened. Scene ends. Next we see in that story line is Jinx with the bartender who says "boss wants us to grab someone up". grab, not kill. Then Silco finds Vi in the ruins of their old home injured. He has two goons with him. Neither have weapons drawn. Silco does not have weapons drawn. The deformed Shimmer addicts rush towards Vi unarmed, but Silco never gives any direction to them. I think in their crazed state they think grabbing her or killing her would please him and get them more Shimmer... and who is he to stop them? he really doesnt care about Vi’s fate. If some druggies kill her, all the better for him. And then he cant be held accountable by Jinx for what happened. But nothing here shows intent to kill, likely he wanted to capture her. Lock her away so she absolutely cannot get to Jinx. Dont get me wrong, i do think he wanted her dead. I think his knowledge of Jinxs yearning for Vi is what prevented him from acting on that. The only other things we see are Vi's second fight with Sevika in which Vi initiated and had intent to kill and I'm guessing Sevika as well but that was not on orders. If it were on orders, Sevika would still be out looking for Vi, not relaxing in a bar. And then the tea party. Silco never expressed intent to kill Vi after her return. He just wanted to intervene and keep her away from influencing or hurting Jinx.

#Jinx #arcane #silco #He just wanted his daughter not to leave him #sad dad

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alittlefrenchtree · 3 years

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Helloooo! Guess who’s back? The Dune notes! yaayyyyy!

ok, chill.

SPOILERS BOOK 2 : MUAD’DIB (Chapters 1-4)

Chapter 1:

I’m still struggling to get all the politic aspects and understand who’s on which side but that’s not what I’m focusing on right now. Once I’ve read the whole thing and had the whole picture, I’ll study all the details of this part of the story.

I loved this quote:

in the French translation, and thought it was beautiful to see Arrakis through Paul’s mind and eyes only to find out that the original quote said stuff like Cheddar-colored. Damn you, American people.

Chapter 2:

Bless you, Muad’Dib, your father and Princess Irulan. Might your words be heard loud and clear on every planet of every universe.

I love, love, love this chapter. This whole conversation between Hawat and the Fremen, the world building made through it and through the Fremen is really good. I don’t think the Fremen has a name because he’s exactly what he describing of his people. He’s only one to serve the whole clan.

Many interesting stuff about the conversation and the scene.

First, I wonder if the Mentat’s abilities can work on Fremens? This part seems to say that they can’t : "But still he did not know what this Fremen wanted and this rankled. Mentat training was supposed to give a man the power to see motives." Then here again : "He said worm. He was going to say something else. What? And what does he want of us?" It’s funny to see how Hawat’s powers seem to be limited after we saw part of what Jessica and Paul were able to do.

"You must make a water decision, friend."

is my favorite quote of the chapter. The whole chapter is built to make Hawat and the reader really understand how primordial the water is. Blood doesn’t exist in the Fremen’s mouth, life is all boiled down to water. They doesn’t seem to care about the Spice either. When he’s thinking in terms of currency, it’s not about the Spice or money, it’s still about water:

"You think we have the Byzantine corruption. You don’t know us. The Harkonnen have not water enough to buy the smallest child among us."

It’s one thing I find fascinating about sci-fi/fantasy writers who are creating whole new worlds in different universes. It’s not only about thinking about crazy new technologies or super powers or anything like this. It’s when they shift the whole logic because context is different and you see it in the smallest details, in ways of speaking, in turns of phrases. It’s where you find so much richness for a fandom. And get so easily immersed in the said new universe. Every time I'll get really thirsty in the future, I'll think about this chapter. And the water decision.

I’m guessing water is one of Dune’s real plot? Every stranger coming to Arrakis comes for the Spice, thinking it’s the goldmine of the planet, the way to conquer it and truly owns it. But it’s not and the Fremen are still the one owning the desert powers because they’re the only one seeing that Arrakis needs to be ruled by water and not by the Spice? I don’t know. But that’s where my guesses are heading at the moment.

About this,

I’m really curious about how they’re going to handle on screen the deep religious roots of a large part of the story. We all know how tricky it can be. Is it going to be tone down? Are we going to see people living in the desert worship a young white male? We’ll see.

Chapter 3:

It’s cute to see how, even if Paul sees himself as a some kind of monster or as something else and undefined, he’s still sensitive to what he sees with his powers of prescience. But it's difficult to get a grip on what he is exactly, and how he feels.

Ok-- wait a minute. Last time I’ve heard about Liet, it was supposed to be a local divinity and now… Liet is Kynes. Ok. If you say so. — does it mean there going to be some kind of competition between Liet and the Muad’Dib? About who has the biggest divine aura? About who’s supposed to lead?

Anyway, what Kynes says, it goes with what I mention earlier. About how all the different people who came on Arrakis have failed to make it a Paradise because they were all focused on the Spice instead of the water.

I love how convenient Paul and Jessica are as characters to introduce the descriptions of every room they step in. You can go wild on details and just be like that’s not me, the bene gesserit/mentat/whatever Paul is things are calling for all. the. details. I should do that. Only write characters who allow me to naturally waste 7 lines of words on the pattern of a wallpaper. Frank Herbert doesn’t do that, but I definitely would.

Again, it’ll be interesting to see how Tim is going to handle the Paul and Kynes’ confrontation/conversation. We’ve seen him touch on these kind of feelings and behavior with The King but Paul seems to require a lot more of everything. So I’m impatient to see.

And I’ve already leaked the quote but let's look at it once more time. Quickest way to prove Timmy is the right cast for Paul.

"In this moment he'd give his life for Paul, she thought. How do the Atreides accomplish this thing so quickly, so easily?"

Because that’s what Timmy does, right? Makes people ready to give their life for him.

Ok about Duncan… We’re back at it, right? He’s not dead until I’ve seen the body. And I didn’t see the body so, he’s not dead. I think? Paul’s abilities don’t seem to be 100% reliable (at least not yet) so even if he believes Duncan’s dead, he might not be. I certainly hope so. My boy Jason deserves more.

I still wonder how the power of prescience is working. Are the blind spots blind because Paul is living through them at the moment and can’t have knowledge of the immediate future OR would they have been blind even if he had looked in their direction long before?

I was also wondering if Paul was going to rely too much on the new dimension of his abilities and how long it was going to take until he realized he made that mistake. It was… quick but I guess it’s Paul, so it shouldn't be surprising.

And that fear litany ❤️ I could kill to write something as iconic and powerful. I could read it every day and still got the chills each time.

Chapter 4:

The Baron is like me, he needs to see bodies to believe in death. I’m delighted to have common ground with that creepy, disgusting asshole. Delighted. To be honest, I’m not that interested with the Baron himself. So far, he’s been nothing but clichés over clichés and really not the best ones. He’s the evil character so he's all the kinds of evil. Shocker. I usually like evil characters (very often more than I love "good" ones) but not him. Really not him. I hope it'll change but I’m afraid he’s too far gone and beyond redemption.

I’m very interested by what’s Hawat is going to become though. Will he turn his allegiance to the Baron? It kind of remind me of Teal’c in Stargate SG-1, but the other way around. The Baron opposes two things : Hawat’s loyalty and his admiration towards those who calculate without emotions. Based on what we know about Mentats and how the human part carried by the human body overpower the Mentat’s education and training, I’d say loyalty should win? And the part of me who is part Mentat agrees on the loyalty so, we’re all good. But it can be an interesting storyline, so I’m waiting for it.

What’s funny about this quote

is that he could very much be talking about Paul and still be right. Or the baby sister. Or Lady Jessica. All Harkonnens are waiting.

And what’s also funny is how The Baron thinks of Feyd-Rautha. In addition of being absolutely disgusting there are some similarities between what the Baron wants for Feyd and what Paul is meant to be/already is.

I wonder if Feyd is meant to become some kind of opposite alter-ego to Paul. A better, more subtle opposant than the Baron. Could be fun.

You know what? Every time I start this kind of post, I said to myself: I'm pretty sure I haven't that many notes this time, it should be quick. And then here we are again 🤷🏻‍♀️ See you next time! 🌖💛

#DUNE FIRST READ

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finnoky · 3 years

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AU where Quirin takes and raises Eugene after the DK falls

•| Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts |•

Oh you have no idea how much this enables me - I stand by Quirin raising Eugene until the end of time bc it’s what they BOTH deserve

1) Oki so, here we see Eugene taken away as a baby without disclosing an EXACT location — that will not stop Quirin though, who had a stance against cutting him off completely despite it being Edmunds orders [It made sense to send the boy away but to send him to an ORPHANAGE was another story] Quirin finds Eugene a month or so after they get separated, during that time he found a house and a stable farm to raise a kid on [Gotta have an income] and then promptly goes to the orphanage and adopts Eugene.

By then, Eugene’s name has already been changed and frankly... Quirin thinks it suits him, though he occasionally slips up and calls him Horace. He feels a duty to raise the Prince but also kinda has a “My son now” mentality! Disagrees with Edmunds choices + decides... His kingdom is doomed, so he’s gonna ensure Eugene gets a stable upbringing with KNOWLEDGE of the Dark Kingdom without necessarily telling him “Oh BTW you’re the prince”. Being a father is hard and he struggles a lot, esp in early days, it’s a whole new challenge from being a knight but... Not one he really regrets?

Cue some fluff! Knight-dad trying to raise a baby and establish a life in a new country — Over time he grows and becomes Village Leader + Develops a bond with the monarchs based on his knowledge and previous high-rank in society from being a knight! Gets offered a guard position but turns it down in favour of spending time with his toddler son. Eugenes first word is Dada and Quirins never felt so content. Baby fluff of Eugenes milestones — Quirin has Eugene helping on the fields as soon as he can toddle without tripping (tho it’s mostly Eugene playing and running around while Quirin works) Toddler Eugene is a little darling and knows exactly how to use his cuteness to get praise and sweets

2) Eugene starts thievery / acting out soon after Quirin dates and marries Ulla, though it soon become a hobby he usually indulges in with his friend Arnie [though they take on the names of the coolest book characters Flynn Rider and Lance Strongbow!] Quirin thinks it’s just a phase and leans into the whole calling Eugene ‘Flynn’ because... He really loves the books, that’s not too odd? Though he doesn’t know of crimes + just thinks they go out to play a lot. Eugene ignored Ulla for the first few weeks because he doesn’t like the idea of someone new staying around — He doesn’t hate her, it just raises a lot of questions about his mum that Quirin doesn’t know how to answer... He resolved on the explaination that she was very sick and couldn’t take care of him anymore, though loved him dearly — it’s enough to placate him.

Eugene doubles down on stealing when he’s 10 and suddenly there’s gonna be a new baby in the house. [He doesn’t WANT a sibling + worries Quirin will love the baby more than him since he knows he’s adopted & all that though is too scared to ask] Eugene grows an attitude and Quirin finds himself exhausted and constantly caught in petty bickers as Eugene keeps running away + acting up, especially to his wife (Who loves Eugene very much, of course) ‘Flynn’ declares he wants to travel the world and be far away from step-mums and nasty babies, uhhh Domestic fall out stuff?

Things change when baby gets here and suddenly Eugene is a big brother and Quirin is MORE distracted, sometimes they forget to even read him a story and he can’t stand the squirmy little creature... All it does is cry and take what little attention his misbehaviour had earned him... So naturally, petty crime continues + Eugene starts caring less about getting caught, so it becomes more risky. He and Lance befriend some bad influences and start taking Big Kid Crime. It’s fun! Until Eugene is brought home by a guard and Quirin gives him the silent treatment for the next week. Quirin... He loves his sons, both of them, but he just isn’t sure how to handle a distressed 11 year old and a baby, it feels like there’s not enough hours in the day and Eugene is SET on making life harder for everyone.

Eugene stays against ‘Varian’, frequently makes the baby the villain in his games and makes him cry on several occasions. It gets even worse when he starts crawling bc now he can’t get anytime alone, it’s just frustrating! The solution probably comes when Varians starting to talk and he says ‘Oo-gee’ as one of his first words — ‘Lisa’s first word’ style — and Quirin and Ulla admit that Varian is obsessed with Eugene. It’s sorta a wake up call for Eugene to start trying to get along with the kid, and it works! He finds it fun to teach him things & have someone to talk to (even if he just babbles back) By the time Eugene is 12 he’s calling Ulla mum and love spending time with his little brother

3) Right! When Eugene is about 18 he picks up theiving again, mostly because he isn’t suited to the farm life and it’s easy money (Plus how else is he gonna achieve his dream of financial independence?) He moves out the farm under the guise of finding a new life with his best friend, though they quickly realise it’s not amazing when they get tangled up with the Baron + his antics. Eugene visits home every so often and claims everything is fine, it’s going great, he doesn’t need any extra help + his life is just dandy. His dishonesty mostly bc he doesn’t wanna worry Quirin and there’s been a bit of a strain since Ulla passed away.

Life keeps on like this. Eugene ages, steals alchemy supplies for Varian and hides his true income source because he wants to make Quirin and Varian proud! Varian grows up to be more headstrong in what he wants because he has someone standing up for him and telling him he’s proud, though the longer Eugene spends away the harder it gets? He loves it when Eugenes here! But the house feels empty without him, and Quirin is so busy + stressed from Varians experiments that there’s still that desire to do more, prove himself.

4) Movie diverts a bit! Eugene finds out about the hair glow and thinks... If one person knows about this then it’s him, and takes Rapunzel to Old Corona over night rather than a campfire. Varian is ecstatic to see him though gets confused by a random girl Eugene claims to have just found — He’s about to ask questions when Eugene asks if Varian could do his magic thing to find out about her hair. Varian insists it’s alchemy and agrees, dragging Raps down into the lab! Boop gothel talks to her when Varians gathering all the equipment and talks her ear off about how cool Eugene is and asks how they found each other since the story is weird... Experiements start!

Meanwhile Eugene is talking to Quirin, when Quirin pulls out a wanted poster and puts it on the table. He finally found out about how bad Eugenes crimes are and wants answers. Now. Eugene sits and tries to explain its not what it looks like, but Quirin doesn’t wanna hear it. The disappointment is evident and Quirin criticises “I thought you grew out of this, what role model is this for Varian?” Eugene doesn’t have an answer but argues his case that it was to be reliant — and he doesn’t wanna do it anymore anyway! Quirin accuses him of using the girl, while Eugene insists her name is Rapunzel and he’s just helping her, get the crown, be set for life and never have to bother him again.

Their argument is cut short by a Varian coming back upstairs looking frazzled, says there’s something about the magic that’s familiar but he can’t place it — sure is strong tho, and continues gushing and asking Eugene for all the details of what he’s been up to. Eugene... Explains, his usual light-hearted rendition of a great quest, while Quirin leaves and stays upstairs the rest of the night.

Varian sees them off in the morning! Hours after they’re gone Vari is still looking into the magic thing — that’s when he remembers the old legend about a sundrop... about how it saved the Queen... About the Princess. Varian sneaks out the house and heads up to the lantern festival to tell Eugene and Rapunzel his revelation, but he gets there just as Eugene is being lead away by guards. Varian finds Max and tells him how they need to free Eugene + basically... Helps him escape with fewer pub thugs and more alchemy. When they get to the tower Eugene tells Varian to stay on the floor and climbs up to help Raps - Varian stays at the bottom of the tower for approx 10 minutes before finding the back entrance and climbing up. Figure he gets there just as Gothel deages, it’s suddenly and before anyone knows it Varian is the one pushing her out the window bc he saw a stabbed Eugene and put two and two together. Then! Cue New Dream scene, except Varian is sitting on the floor in shock a distance away... After New Dream hug Eugene looks at him and Varian admits that “Ok, magic isn’t that bad”

5) Oh god the series! First off — Raps is closer with Varian in this (that’s becoming a theme...) so doesn’t just throw him out into the blizzard when he comes asking for help. Instead he and Eugene go back to Old Corona together after the storm, Varian isolates himself from guilt + has a tough time dealing with what happened, but he lives in the castle as Eugene starts getting angrier with the king and wants answers for what happened. He’s the one that finds Dark Kingdom stuff and he and Varian work on it together... Eugene has a suspicion he came from the Dark Kingdom so when the rocks start pointing there he’s like dope!

No villain Varian joins them on the trek to the Dark Kingdom + it’s all fun and games, Eugene tries to get more answers from Adira as they travel but she says it’s not her place to say... All he needs to know is the kingdom fell, and everyone was evacuated... She’s almost annoyed as she explains it, then Hector is treble annoyed when he finds out Eugene was raised by QUIRIN since that went against the direct orders... Though Adira defends it and says he was doing his duty of keeping Eugene safe, it’s basically a rift between them that’s confusing until they get to the DK and the revelation happens.

I feel... Moongene could be a thing in this AU? but since I’m running out of points I’ll leave it with Cass taking her canon role! I will point out! when Quirin is freed initially only Varian runs into his arms... Eugene hadn’t really spoken to Quirin properly since their movie fallout & he’s not sure he belongs... Until Quirin holds and arm out to him and pulls him into the hug too (PARALLLELS) and we get a happy reunited family (tho with some issues to work out regarding somethings... they need to rebuild trust, but work on it slowly. Edmund stays ‘Edmund’ to Eugene. He sees Quirin as his father & doesn’t push as much to reconnect with Edmund... Though that makes it easier in a way. There’s less pressure once Edmund understands and they form a friendship, but Quirin is Dad 100% (Sometimes Edmund gets called Dad 2))

#tts #tts au #ask #au ask meme #tangled the series #tangled #varian #Eugene #quirin #alternative universe

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captainclickycat · 2 years

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(God I wish I knew how to do this properly but here goes nothing...) For the fandom ask game can I give you Cabin Pressure, Wooden Overcoats and Good Omens?

Referencing this ask, I think?

Thank you @offshootrosebud ! I’ll answer them in the order you sent.

Blorbo (favourite character, character I think about the most)

Ok this is near-impossible with CP, because I think a massive key part of the show’s appeal and why it works so well is the way the main four interact and play off each other. I can’t select just one! They don’t come separate! They’re pack animals! So I’ll cheat and say Gerti, because Gerti usually contains the main four.

WO: it’s a hard one, but at the moment it probably has to be Antigone. Is it the voice? I’ll be honest, a good chunk of it is probably the voice. But also she’s so entertainingly hammy at times (“it’s alive it’s alive it’s aliiiiiiiiive!!”) and enthusiastic about corpses and has some very thoughtful character development and is a great character to invoke in times of anger and frustration… there’s a lot to be said for saying things like “I never dream at night because my days are full of nightmaaaaaaaares” in your head in times of stress (or indeed mild inconvenience.) Also she has a really nice voice. Did I mention that?

Crowley. Bit of a toss-up between him and Aziraphale, but Crowley wins out because, like Antigone, he has a lot of therapeutic appeal. Even now when I have to deal with some everyday annoyance, I can still amuse myself a little by saying to myself that Crowley invented it. He’s entertainingly dorky in only the way that people who are trying very hard to be Cool can be, and if I’m writing GO fics his POV tends to be the one I gravitate to, even though Aziraphale is probably the character I have more in common with. Plus David Tennant is pretty, if we’re going with the TV version.

Scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is so shaped)

I suppose Arthur is the most likely contender here? I’d be nice to him if I was a customer, even if he dumped coffee in my lap by mistake or something.

Well, Madeleine is very small, so she’s a contender. But Mayor Desmond also has a lot of endearing appeal. Look at him hiding under his desk.

It’s tricky with GO. Crowley has his “heartstrings” moments, but I feel like if I tried to fuss over him he’d find it condescending and possibly bite me. Same goes for Aziraphale, really… if anyone else tried to fuss over him, Crowley would bite them. Maybe Dog. Shall we say Dog?

Scrimblo Bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

He’s not really underrated or underappreciated, but Mr Birling does deserve a mention for being the first character to really make me laugh. Like “doubled over in pain” laugh.

I’d say Nana Crusoe, but to be fair I feel like she probably does get her share of positive attention. Still, she’s probably not necessarily the first character people think of when asked who their favourite is, so I’m claiming this one. She’s one of the funniest characters and it’s cool how she gets around and when she died I was Very Sad.

The Bikers of the Apocalypse! Listen, I get why they didn’t make it into the TV adaptation. I know you can’t get everything in. But all the same, I missed them and their arguments about what their horseman names were going to be. I still lose it at “really cool people”.

Glup shitto (Obscure fave: character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Ruth’s husband, whose name I’ve forgotten. He was a laugh.

Baron von Undercrackers. I’d have liked to see him running for mayor.

Sarah Young! I have so many questions about Sarah. Why did she only warrant exactly two mentions in the book before never turning up again or playing any part in the story whatsoever? What kind of a person is she? Did she and her boyfriend go to Spain again one day and never come back? Did she notice there was something weird going on with her little brother? We’ve got a treasure trove of potential on our hands here. (I suppose there’s also that guy in the turban who grins at A&C in the TV show, but tbf he’s already got his fair share of fandom appreciation)

Poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Martin Crieff is a poor little meow meow if ever I saw one. Of course I realise that in fandom terms he’s actually pretty popular, but in-universe not really. As an audience member I can sort of root for him, but I know that if I met him in real life I’d likely just find him really annoying.

Rudyard, for largely similar reasons.

Urgh this one’s tricky. There’s Newt, I suppose. Sometimes I find myself relating to him and I feel weird about that. Shadwell also crossed my mind for this one, because he’s so stupid and over-the-top it’s funny, but I’m planning on mentioning him later on and no way is he making it on here twice.

Horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

Herc. I’m sorry Herc. You’re perfectly decent. But I would also like to see you try to square off against a sheep.

Eric, hands down. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed at an episode as much as The Sunshine Treatment. Absolutely lost it at “Maybe Mr Sunshine Man will know what to do?…Oh, that’s right. He’s dead.”

Gabriel. I’d want some scenario where he has to confront everyday human things, like getting ketchup on his suit or stepping in a dog turd, or when he has to explain the whole pregnancy thing to Mary, and absolutely goes to pieces because he’s not used to having to deal with this sort of thing.

Eeby Deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Mr Leeman. At least he could smoke there.

Mr Askey. Although he’d probably get kicked out for upsetting the rest of the damned.

Shadwell. He’d manage fine, anyway. He’d just headbutt the devil.

#cabin pressure #wooden overcoats #good omens #ask games

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angelhummel · 3 years

Note

could you rank the degrassi next class characters?

gladly!! also sorry in advance if you love any of the characters im about to shit on lol

20. Frankie Hollingsworth. Almost had her second to last but. No. Klu Klux Fran?? The ZOO?? I can't even talk about her she's just so damn annoying and racist and omg. And she was being pushed as the new Main Girl which made everything all the more offensive and unbearable

19. Esme Song. Sorry but I do not think she had a single redeeming trait. She had nothing she stood for, no actual character beyond being an antagonist to every single other person on the show. Like she thinks Shay is stupid for being embarrassed about getting her period on her boyfriend's pants, and yet she calls Yael disgusting for having armpit hair?? So what's the truth? And people are like "well she's mentally ill" to excuse all she does. Well Maya is mentally ill and Esme makes fun of her too. So who's side are we on? Like I would've liked to see her get help and develop but we didn't get that so.

18. Hunter Hollingsworth. Terrorist. Not even interesting enough to be an actual school shooter. Just a waste of a character. Sexist, violent, had a plot about wanting to play video games at school. I'm so bored. Only not at the bottom bc I feel like he wasn't in my face as much

17 & 16. Baaz Nahir & Vijay Maraj. Thing 1 and Thing 2 to the would be school shooter. Clowns. They were a terrible group and I cringed any time they had a plot together. Annoying together, useless on their own. Hard pass

15. Yael Baron. The final member of the above group. Was mostly boring and annoying and especially dumb for being romantically interested in Hunter. Only gets bonus points for their coming out as nonbinary plot. After their makeover I was literally crying

14. Jonah Haak. Mostly disliked him for being in a relationship with Frankie. Like I'm sure they were only a year or two apart but he felt so much older than her. It was gross. And mostly he's just really blah. The attempt at a straight edge character at that point was. Hilarious. at least.

13. Winston Chu. Seemed harmless at first but idk all the boys were shifted high into clown mode when this show hit netflix. The incident with the geisha and Japanese soldier costumes? Defending Zoe against Esme? Then later telling Goldi maybe she should take her hijab off to cause less of a fuss? Bruh.

12. Saad Al'Maliki. Honestly I felt like he was the one with the most braincells most of the time. Probably pissed me off the least. But he was also in the least amount of episodes and didn't make much of an impression on me. Was mostly just boring. But I'll take boring over everything that came before

11. Lola Pacini. Degrassi has a knack for introducing the worst and most obnoxious characters and then eventually making you love them. Lola was not quite that. I hated her for the longest time but it decreased a bit near the end. I got emotional when she had her abortion. And when she gave Yael their makeover. And when she reached out to Saad and convinced him not to leave. I feel like I could've grown to like her more if the show went on, but again... Oh also I hate her and Miles together sorry

10. Grace Cardinal. Ugh Grace is confusing to me. I wasn't the biggest fan of her story with Zoe. I mean sure you're allowed to hook up with someone and then realize "oh that's not for me" but it was handled so awkwardly. Like she slept with Zoe just to be like "damn i hate when everyone thinks i'm a lesbian :/" like why. Idk she was fine but I'm not over the moon about her

9. Goldi Nahir. Ugh okay I feel like they didn't know what to do with her. Like she had the plotline about if she should take off her hijab or not. And she had to teach the poor whities about racism. That was about it? She was adorable and sweet and a bright spot in the show but ugh she deserved better than what she was surrounded with lol

8. Shay Powers. Again, it's not her fault she's stuck in a show written by 70 year old white people. But the black girl is completely oblivious to the racism of her friend? She has to ask her dad if a racist thing is really racist? She's never experienced racism? Ok Degrassi. They treat all their black girls like shit and I feel like I just stan them out of spite bc of that lol. But she's cool and a nice person and she's into sports so she's at least doing stuff

7. Rasha Zuabi. Another generally nice and cool character that I have positive feelings for. Also she was gay so yay. Loved her story with Zoe. I think there was just one moment where I was like "wtf are you doing" but compared to everyone else it's not a big deal

6. Zig Novak. I have to admit that all my enjoyment of his character comes from before Next Class. He was such a sweetie and then he left and came back acting dumb as hell. That was not my boy in Next Class. But ahhh he's still my boy sorry I love him <3

5. Deon "Tiny" Bell. Basically the same as Zig above. But I feel like he maybe had a few less moments of being an asshole? Also his promposal for Shay was cute <3 Wait didn't he also date Lola? Wasn't a fan of that either.

4. Zoe Rivas. She was the one dressed up as a geisha lol (: Oh boy Next Class was something else. Umm it was nice to see her process of accepting herself as a lesbian. I feel like it took forever tho. Which is understandable irl but this is a tv show lol. I didn't enjoy her sucking Zig off in the woods. Not fun. But her relationship with Rasha was one of my fave things about NC

3. Tristan Milligan. The amount of hate Tristan gets is faaaar too much. He's one of my favorites of the whole show honestly. I think he's funny and dramatic and a great addition to the show. But he gets knocked down bc I can't remember anything he did in Next Class other than BEING IN A FUCKING COMA FOR A WHOLE SEASON. He's already Owen's brother, he's suffered enough. But I love his relationship with Miles. And him helping Zoe accept herself

2. Miles Hollingsworth. Yes another character I wasn't fond of at first. Hated his relationship with Zoe and thought he was just boring. Truthfully I think I only became interested when he started dating Tristan lol. Plus omg with his family?? It's a miracle he got out at all. He went through so much bullshit and he was especially going through it in Next Class. He was kind of a hot mess but also I just care a lot about him. He deserves the world <3

1. Maya Matlin. Is Maya really my fave?? I guess so! Yet another character I wasn't fond of at first. Which is insane bc we just got to the part in our rewatch where she first shows up and I'm like !!! baby girl!! So precious!!! And I wanted to cry thinking of what she's about to go through. I feel like her character is treated with some of the most respect and care. Her motivations and mental health decline all make sense storywise. I just care a lot about her and got super emotional watching everything in her story, especially the later parts in NC

Wow this is a lot!! But I hope you enjoyed my ranking and explanations lol. Also like. Everyone was racist. Everyone was mentally ill. That was the whole show. It was a hot mess and truth be told I am not a fan. Even the characters I love, they were acting weird here. Like I said about Zig and Tiny and their character regression. And I think it was the same for like Tristan and Zoe and plenty of others too. Everyone was off, idk how to explain it. But that's my ranking for the hot mess that was Next Class!!

Thank you for the ask, ily <3

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allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 3 years

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Wonder Woman 1984

The first 3/4 of 2017’s Wonder Woman was my favorite film of that year. The last 1/4 was my least favorite film of that year. What can I say, I have a complicated relationship with the DCEU, and the part I keep getting disappointed by is the big smash-em-up, explosions everywhere, muddy mess of orange/blue filter in the “climactic showdown” between hero and villain. I just don’t have the patience for it anymore, and I was so hoping that the Jazzercise vibes of Wonder Woman 1984 would do something different.

As it turns out, this movie was trying to warn me like so many stories that have come before - be careful what you wish for. Just how badly did my wish go bad? Well...

I’d already heard some questionable things about the movie before I tuned in, so my expectations were tempered but I guess it was on me. I should have known better than to wish for a story with reasonable pacing, some kind of consistent tone, villains with discernable motivation, or a Wonder Woman movie that was actually about fucking Wonder Woman. I’m not even mad as much as I am puzzled. That and tormented by Pedro Pascal’s manic televangelist energy in my dreams.

Some thoughts:

I have never wanted to go anywhere as much as I want to in 2020, and the place I want to go more than any other is Themyscira. Love this first sequence. Why is the whole movie not about Themyscira??

If the Olympics were like this whole long Amazonian warrior triathlon, I would be WAY more into track and field.

Also I legit don’t understand the problem with her taking the short path? Like, it’s there for a reason? She just caught up to her horse? Someone explain this to me.

So this mall...basically the hub of American commerce in the 80s that was practically printing money, it made it so fast...is secretly a front for antiquities trading on the black market? And these unorganized-ass dipshit criminals who seemingly just walked in off the street and decided to engage in some light robbery today are after antiquities? Sure, Jan.

Ohh I miss Waldenbooks so much!

This thwarting of crime sequence in the mall feels so...cheesy. Schlocky, almost. Like a 50s comic book come to life. I dunno, it just doesn’t feel like the tone I was expecting. In the context of the whole film, we really blew our action load in these first 2 sequences, and also this is the last point in the movie in which Diana actually resembles her character from the first film.

I would also be stammery and blushy when talking to Diana Prince for the first (and second) time, but I’m kinda getting a gay vibe from Barbara. This meet-cute + date is definitely playing up romantic vibes. Kristen Wiig is so good at characters like these - in less than 2 scenes, I have such a clear picture of who Barbara is, what she wants, what she fears, and that’s all down to Wiig’s choices. [ETA: This makes it all the more infuriating when Barbara suddenly is like “I want to be an apex predator” when nothing about her character’s reaction to getting positive attention indicates she would want to start shitting all over everyone else.]

Pedro Pascal is skeeving me out as our villain Max Lord, which really just shows his range, because normally I love him and find him wildly charming in everything. But he’s playing this oil baron creep to the max, as they would say in the parlance of the 80s, and it makes my skin crawl.

The mechanics of how Steve Trevor returns are wildly confusing. Why is this other guy involved at all? Are we supposed to be ok with the idea of Diana fucking *some other dude’s body* without his consent just because Steve’s spirit/consciousness/whatever is inside the guy? Also that guy DEFINITELY got fired from his job after going AWOL for a whole week, right?

I am thrilled with Steve’s clothes montage. One of my favorite things in any 80s film, and his enthusiasm really sells it.

I do really like Diana and Steve playing detective, following clues, crafting theories. In spite of the absolute dumbassery of how Steve came back, Chris Pine and Gal Gadot have incredible chemistry and I do find their scenes together delightful.

I think that’s why it’s so frustrating to me the way their entire relationship was handled. If the whole point of the wish going bad is that it has a cost, wouldn’t it have been better, instead of making Diana weak, to have Steve slowly start to be more and more of an asshole - aka not the Steve Diana remembered and loved? Make her realize that the Steve she knew and loved is really gone and she has to stop letting his memory hold her hostage. Maybe his last moment of self-awareness would be realizing that this wasn’t who he really was, and she was better off just remembering who he was and moving on rather than trying to hold on to this thing that isn’t good for her?

The sequence with the fireworks made me emotional. The only time I’ve ever been on a plane on the 4th of July was when I was coming back from a visit with my uncle in Dallas. He had flown me, my mom, and my grandma down for a whirlwind trip, and we flew back the night of the 4th. I got to see fireworks from above for the first time, and it felt so magical. My uncle passed away 2 months ago, and feeling that magic again (via Diana and Steve) made me miss him and all the adventure he brought into my life something fierce.

Am I supposed to be like...anti- the idea of Barbara absolutely kicking the shit out of this drunk catcaller who attempted to assault her earlier in the movie? It feels like the film wants us to be like “oh no that’s bad” but my empathy goes on vacation for attempted rapists.

Like...did anyone do ANY kind of fact-checking on this script? The Maya haven’t been “wiped from the face of the earth” there are still 6 million of them living in Central and South America. Escalators were invented in the 1890s for fucks’ sake. PLANES IN THE 80S DONT WORK LIKE PLANES IN 1918. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT ALL THOSE SWITCHES DO STEVE. Also...just because the plane is invisible doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist anymore. Isn’t the whole point of radar to detect things that you can’t, y’know, SEE? Seriously, how many people fiddled with this script until it turned into an incomprehensible mess?

Did I Cry? OK yeah, I did when Diana and Steve had their conversation after they escaped the White House. But I feel like I should have cried more then, as well as earlier when Diana tells Steve that she only wants this one thing. I love Gal Gadot in this role, but I do wish her acting expressed a little more emotional depth and honesty for the moments like this that should really tug on the heartstrings.

I know Wonder Woman is bulletproof, but are we saying she’s also...immune to electricity?

If there’s one thing that living through a global pandemic has taught me, it’s that we can’t rely on the inherent responsibility of every individual person to do the right thing in order to save their community (or the world). So the climax of this film really feels like a big ol’ fictional FUCK YOU to every person who has been quarantining since March as the US government twiddles their thumbs and relies on personal choice to lower infection rates. I know they made this film during 2019 and had no idea what would be coming, but this entire sequence was the most horrifying, short-sighted, offensive way to have good overcome evil I could imagine for a 2020 movie. “Just count on people to do the right thing and everything will be fine!” We’re WELL FUCKING PAST THAT, Diana.

And maybe this is my debbie downer pessimistic ass, but the message “the world is a beautiful place the way it was” feels like some real bullshit. Do you mean the world is a flawed, complicated place where beautiful things exist DESPITE all the violence, inequality, and poverty? Ok, that I’ll buy, for sure. But “Everything was fine the way it was!” is uhh not what I would have gone with. That’s a first draft edit if ever I heard one. Seriously, how did this make it through MULTIPLE studio drafts and no one thought to point this out?

I literally had to go back after the credits were over and rewind to figure out what happened to Pedro Pascal at the end. If I not only don’t care, but also can’t remember what happened to the villain at the end of the movie, that’s a big motherfucking problem.

I was giddily delighted by that first post-credits scene though! Probably the biggest moment of joy I felt during the film.

For being a Wonder Woman movie, it feels like there’s so little actual Wonder Woman IN the movie. The first film is rooted firmly in Diana finding her place in the world, understanding and coming into her power. This feels like she’s a bystander in her own life, and her most significant moments are always in the context of someone else’s narrative arc. And there’s nothing that comes even close to the breathless wonder of that No-Man’s-Land scene, aka one of the best superhero movie moments of all time.

This doesn’t have the knowing wink of Aquaman or the nuanced character arcs of Birds of Prey. It doesn’t have the childish glee of Shazam! or any of the nonsensical grimdark bullshit of Zack Snyder’s entire ouvre. It feels like Wonder Woman 1984 suffers the same fate as its protagonist - a profound lack of presence or drive. Sure there are some fun sequences, and the actors are doing the best they can with a weak script, but it’s just not enough to save it. In a year where I saw so few contemporary films (focusing more on catching up on past films I’d missed), I can’t think of one that disappointed me more.

#121in2021 #wonder woman 1984 #ww84 #gal gadot #chris pine #pedro pascal #kristen wiig #patty jenkins #wonder woman #diana prince #steve trevor

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kinkymankey · 4 years

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Shantae: Half-Genie Housewife - Chapter 1

Shantae stood just outside the doors to the lair's innermost sanctum, hyping herself up. The puzzles have been solved, the enemies defeated and the traps avoided, all while she was heavily pregnant with twins. She smiled and rubbed her stomach. “This is it, you guys. Nearly over.” She pushed open the door and charged in, taking a battle stance. “Baron!”

“Ah, the little half-genie Shantae,” the baron chuckles, his back to her as he stood hunched over a cauldron. His figure was obscured by a dark cloak. “What an unexpected surprise, and by unexpected I of course mean completely expected.”

“So? I’m ready to take you on!” She retorts, raising her fists. “Get ready to have your butt kicked!”

“On the contrary, my dear,” he grinned and chuckled, beginning to turn around. “It is you who will have your--!” Now fully turned around, he stopped himself mid sentence, his menacing look on his plain, shaven face dropped to one of confusion and even surprise.

Shanate grinned and laughed. “What? Surprised I’m still in one piece from your traps? Gotta admit, they were pretty good for a new guy like you.”

The baron took a sharp inhale, and fiddled with his fingers. “Well, um, I guess that is one thing as well,” he nodded, “but, um, I was not aware of...that.” He gestured to her stomach area.

The half-genie gave a confused look. “What? You mean my tummy?” She poked it with a finger. “What? Think I can’t kick butt when expecting?”

“I mean, it is very clear you can, just isn’t something you really expect. Man. Woof.” He turned his back to her again. “Why didn’t they tell me she’s pregnant?! Would have been good to know! Can, can I even do this now?”

“Huh?” Shanate tilted her head, dropping her fists to now rest on her hips. “Can you what? Fight me? I don’t see why not.”

He turned back to her, throwing his hood down to reveal long unkempt brown locks. He clapped his hands together in front of him. “Listen. Allow me to level with you. As you can tell, I am a new baron. Heck, I don’t even have a title yet. I’m just ‘baron’, not even a capital ‘B’.” He chuckled awkwardly. “As such, this is really my make or break moment to see if I can become a true baron. I have some qualms with it being I have to beat up a pregnant girl.”

“Who says you’re gonna win?” She smirks. “Listen, I went through your dungeon, solved your puzzles, and even learned a new transformation that I’m sure will help me take down whatever tricks you have up your sleeves. Let’s fight already!” She pouts a little.

“How far along are you anyways?” He asks absentmindedly.

Shantae rolls her eyes. “Eight months with twins.” She places a hand on her bump and rubs a small area.

“Ok. Yep. That’s pretty far along, especially for twins,” the baron nodded. “I could easily put you in labor during our fight, and I don’t want that on me.”

“Aw, come on!” She shouts, clearly frustrated. “Please? I swear I won’t pop! My tummy hasn’t even dropped yet, so I’m not even close to labor.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t control when the baby comes, unless it's some genie power,” he adds, unimpressed. “Look, why are you even fighting when you’re so pregnant?”

“Because I’ve gotta protect people from bad guys like you! It’s my job!”

“And there is no one else who can handle this? Just you?”

“Well, my friends could,” Shantae contemplates, but quickly shakes it off, “but this really is my thing, so I want to keep doing it my way.” She shrugs and pats her bump.

“You could at least set up a buddy system or something. What happens if you do something that hurts your babies or something? What then?”

“Well…” She was quiet for a while, not really sure what to say. “I just try not to,” she finally responded, before glaring at him in an angry yet kind of cute way. “Why do you even care about this anyways? You’re the bad guy!” “Valid point, but I don’t want to harm the unborn child! They’re the purest of innocents as there are, and I will not be a monster!”

“Children,” she corrects. “But you do other bad things, right?”

“Theft, larceny, enslavement, pirating, malicious potion brewing, world domination,” he listed off, “but nothing like killing. No sir. Non-lethal takeovers are the plans of this baron-to-be!”

“Ugh! You’re the lamest baron ever!” She huffs, rolling her eyes. “You really suck!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what do you want me to do then, huh? Just break the Barons’ Code? That’s a great idea to get kicked out!” He retorted mockingly. He crosses his arms. “Inconsiderate welp. You could learn some decency. In fact...yeah,” he smiled and nodded his head slowly. “Yeah. I think I know an apt punishment for you now. Get ready, half-genie!”

“Oh, so now you wanna fight. Finally!” She grinned, resuming her fighting posture.

“With magic!” He declares, turning back to his cauldron.

“Oh yeah, with what?” She mocks. “I have loads of transformations. Flood the room? I’ll swim as a mermaid. Fire floor? I’ll fly above it! Spikes? I’ll jump from spike to spike as a monkey! Show me what ya got!”

“Quiet the impressive repertoire,” he smirks at his cauldron. “You like having such varied transformations on hand, is that correct, my dear?”

She responds cautiously after a moment. “Yeah…?”

“Well, then.” He turns back to her, a pink vial now in hand. “Perhaps you would care for a new one?”

Her eyes go right for the vial. “Yeah, sure. Probably some kind of poison, isn’t it? What makes you think I can trust you with that?”

“You can’t really, can you?” He asks rhetorically, shaking the vial. “Shame. Looks like you’ll have to take a chance.” He suddenly dashes forward with a great speed, placing a hand firmly on her belly.

“Hey!” She shouts, her facing turning a bright red and her voice growing angry. “W-Watch it, pal!” She tries to back up, but it feels to her as if his hand was now glued to her.

“Say ‘ah’,” he teased as he tried to force the bottle to her lips.

She curls in her lips, keeping her mouth sealed. “Mhmh!” She shakes her head. The baron, not to be deterred, begins to squeeze her belly; soft at first, but progressively tighter and tighter. Shantae begins to moan, holding them back as long as she can until she is forced to open her mouth. “What happened to--?”

Before she could so much as start, the baron quickly poured the contents of the vial straight down her throat, forcing her to swallow it down. The liquid was very thin, and emptied quickly down her gullet. “You JERK!” She shouted, trying to swipe away at him with her hair.

“Thought you’d like a little gift,” he joked, dodging by quickly rushing back as fast as he had come.

“What happened to not hurting a pregnant lady?” She asked in a hoarse voice while rubbing her throat.

“Did I hurt you, though?” He asked back, sounding honest.

“You sq-squeezed my tummy! An-And forced me to drink that weird gunk!” Her voice was returning to normal, but sounded flustered now.

“But does it hurt?” He asked again, just as honest.

“It...well, n-no,” she responded quietly. “B-But still!” She pouted.

“See? No harm, so no foul.” He shrugs nonchalantly.

“Big jerk,” she huffs, crossing her arms atop her belly. “What did that stuff even do to me?”

“Not feeling it yet? (Not enough bat wool),” he asked. “Well then you should be feeling it soon enough.”

“What? What is it?!”

“You’ll see,” he grins

She cowers slightly, putting her hands on her belly nervously. Suddenly, a weak headache strikes her, and she feels the whole weight of her body on her. She takes a few hazy steps as the headache builds in intensity, trying to lean against a wall that was not there.

“Feeling woozy?”

“N-No!” She retorts, gasping as the headache makes a large surge.

“Seems like it to me,” he chuckles.

“Shut up,” she scoffs and blows a raspberry before shortly falling to the floor. Oooh, my head...wait...what is this…?

“Something on your mind?” He asks tauntingly.

“Nnggh-nothing!” She snaps, shutting her eyes and grasping her pounding head. What are these thoughts? They’re so weird…

“Trying to fight it? I’d suggest not. It is a very strong potion,” he voices.

“Wh-What did you do?” She struggles to say, the thoughts in her mind getting more intrusive and over powering.

“Your thoughts. Tell me them, speak them aloud and you will have your answer.” He grins deviously.

“Staying at home, c-cooking...cleaning?” She grits her teeth as she speaks, and the realization hits her. “Y-You’re making me a housewife…?”

“Yes! Exactly!” He pumped a fist. “Now you got it! Right on the money!”

“Why?!” She yelled, making as strong as an effort she still could to hold back the thoughts in her head.

“It’s simple, really, when you think about it. By making you a dutiful little housewife, you won’t get in my way to stop my plans as you’ll be much too busy around the house. Much too busy!” He explained. “In fact, you’ll never trouble the Barons again. This will certainly earn me my baron title!”

“You jerk!” Shantae retorted in an appalled tone.

“Fight it all you want,” the baron sounded amused, “but once the brew eventually sets in, you will simply have to give in.”

The half-genie began breathing deeply as the thoughts began to overtake her. “You big, dumb jerk! You are the absolute worst, you big, fat, stupif je--!”

And then she suddenly stopped, mid sentence. A confused, almost lost look came across her face.

And there it is, the baron thought. “My, how rude. You’re hurting my feelings.

“Oh? I-I’m ever so sorry,” Shantae responded, her tone suddenly sweet. “I don’t know what came over me.”

Score. “Oh, think nothing of it,” he chuckled with a hand wave. “You were simply not in the right mind.”

She giggles lightly. “Of course. Um, would you mind maybe showing me home?” She blushed slightly, trying to get to her feet.

“Of course,” he nods, quickly coming to her side to help her up. “Where is it you live, my dear?”

“I live in--.” A chill shook her head, and her eye twitched. “What? I’ll never tell you, ya creep!” She yelled and pointed accusingly, before a confused look came over her face and she withdrew her arm. “S-Sorry about that...that was strange.”

“You’re fine. Must simply be the hormones,” he tells her. Fight all you want, little half-genie, he laughs to himself.

“Probably. They do do strange things,” she giggles, stroking her belly slowly.

“Fret not, I understand. So, where do you live? I assume somewhere in Scuttle Town, correct?”

“Yes, the lighthouse on the outskirts,” she nodded with a smile.

“I can manage that. I’ll use some magic to take you back,” I offer.

“Be my--.” Her head jerked slightly, before she took a step back and tried to run away.

“Shantae? Where are you going?” He asked calmly but with a subtle confidence.

“Away from you, you je--!” She suddenly stops with a confused look, nearly stumbling over. “W-What was that?”

“Careful.” The baron hurries to her side to catch her from falling. “Not the best idea to run while pregnant. Center of gravity is all off.”

“Of course, I shouldn’t be doing such silly things,” she giggles. “Thank you, again.”

“No problem,” he smiles comfortingly. “Speaking of silly things, your get up…”

“Hm?” She looks down at herself. As was the usual, she wore a very small red crop top, with pants in a matching shade that were see-through slightly. She also wore gold braces around her arms and her hair was held back in a tight ponytail. “You’re right, this is pretty silly,” she laughs. “I mean, just look at all this belly I’m showing off. “

“Just a suggestion,” the baron started as he began to lead her out of his lair, “but perhaps change into something more reasonable when you get home?”

“A very good suggestion,” she agreed, following him. “I had the idea myself. I certainly must have something more comfortable.”

“Yes,” he nodded, cheering in victory on the inside. “So, any other plans for today?”

“Hmmm.” She trails behind him a small distance as they walk. “I think I should clean up my house today, certainly has been a while...maybe take a crack at some baking...and...kicking your butt!”

He quickly glanced behind himself to catch her charging forward, shouting and making motions to tackle him. He quickly stepped aside, but made it seem like he got hurt in some way.

Shantae rolls forward, ending up on her butt. The determined look on her face quickly melts to one of alarm and embarrassment. “Oh my! I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what came over me!”

“You’re fine. I am quite alright,” he assures her, quickly coming to help her up. “Though, let’s hope that’s the last outburst…” A bold attempt, but that was your last try. The potion should have fully set in by now.

“Yes, let’s,” she nodded in agreement. “Sorry, again. I’ve been such a mess, and I have no idea why.”

“You’re fine, really. I’ve handled worse,” he joked, making a small laugh. “So, back on topic, is that all you have planned? What about going out?”

Shantae looked at him with a bemused expression. “Why would I go out? Maybe for shopping, but what else?”

“Just curious,” the baron responded, congratulating himself mentally. “Is there any reason why?”

“I belong at home,” she explains. “That’s where I should be, preparing for my babies.” She hugs her belly, smiling down at it.

“Good,” the baron grins. The two eventually arrive outside his lair, which exits to the lush jungles of Sequin Land. “Seems quite a walk,” he commented, trying to gaze through the rather dense trees. “How did you get here to begin with, if you can recall?”

“I ran,” she responded, and seemed to surprise herself. “What a silly thing to do!” She laughs, patting her stomach.

“And dangerous. I must offer you a safer means back home. I have a spell that can make the travel much quicker.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you,” she nodded.

“Of course,” he said. “Hopefully, we may have another visit with each other at a later time.”

“That would be very nice.”

“Farewell, Shantae,” he waved, and in an instant he summoned a whirlwind, producing a squeak from the half-genie before she disappeared with it. When she finally did, the baron let out a hearty, loud laugh. “It worked! Now she sees herself as nothing more than a lowly housewife! I am free to pursue my plans! The barons may wreck havoc as they please!” A wide grin grows across his face. “Oh! I must tell them! I will certainly earn my title now!” With a spring in his step, the baron returned to the bowels of his lair.

#shantae #shantae half genie hero #baron #potion baron #pregnancy #pregnant #housewife #brainwashing #hypnotism

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sugarcoats-and-heartbeats · 4 years

Text

I finished Return of The Thief!!!

Non-spoilery comments:

1. IT WAS SO GOOD! ARGHASLDFJ 2. If you’re anxious, don’t be. Trust MWT.

Now, for all the wild screaming into the void, because I need to get all these irrational, overwhelming feelings out before I hop on over at Sounis LJ and pretend to be smart.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS AHEAD. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS!

My “live-blog” notes:

- "So, so, so" is out. "Miras' golden balls" is in. - He has all the fighting spirit of an apricot... Like riding a slowly moving sofa - LOL, though I do admit, I find it ironic that Irene would give Gen a horse as a gift, when she's worried of a fall and her own brother died of a fall from horseback - Gen's apartments were Irene's brothers' - two Cleons! two Ions! - why is Attolian!Ion doing back with Gen? Didn't he go with Sophos? - princess Bythesea? LIke, "by the sea"? - SCARY GEN. SCARY GEN EVERYWHERE. SOPHOS! THE PENT! - okay let's back it up here - Sophos throwing water on Gen - GEN CLIMBING UP TO THE WINDOW!!! - ATTOLIA LAUGHING ABOUT IT ZOMG - A;LDFJA;SLDFJAS;LDJK THE PENT AND ATTOLIA AND EUGENIDES AND ALSDFJA;SLDFJKA;LSDFKJ ARRGGGHHHH THAT WAS PRECIOUS BUT ALSO MADDENING - like, here i was, thinking it's Gen who's in danger of getting snatched by a mistress; i was NOT expecting it the other way around - also, every passage i'm either "omg, gen's gonna die" or "nah, he'll be fine." it's so scary whenever pheris talks about the "nowadays" rather than telling the narrative - OMG AND THEN... AND THEN!!! RIGHT AFTER THE PENT SCENE... OMGGGGG THEY JUST DID IT IN THAT ROOM HUH - what is up with all these horrid ambassadors from everywhere?? (Except for the Braels. That one is a keeper)

- Ohh look Irene is doing needlework! Finally! A book where needlework isn't mocked. - Gen doing a somersault from Fryst! - Costissssss!!!!! - oh no! I forgot what Costis's arrival meant - aww, that kindly stable master. bless him! - Genny!!??? GENNY??!!!! I shall now call all my children with a Y at the end. Ireny! Heleny! Bunny can remain the same (though Sophy sounds cute too) - Kamet! - Yessss, Relius! Is back in action!! Also described as "very handsome" so it looks like Costis has competition here - tortured by the *king*?? Wasn't it Attolia who tortured Relius? - lol apparently nobody's ages are going to be revealed - "some unknown sailor fired without orders" something tells me this was planted - Teleus and Relius bro-time. yes i approve - whoa I see an elephant in the drawing!! - okay, was it ever mentioned that Eddisians have tattoos?? Or is this like the first time that was mentioned and everyone is as shocked as me??? - guys, imagine, the MoW. Tattoos!! - okay, so clearly Relius is a playboy?? and i never caught the hint?? - Helen and Irene girl talk, yessss - Fordad's nice. I hope he's not secretly a bad guy - OH NO OH NO Gen resigned!!! What will Irene do? She cannot rule alone again! - omg Gen is such a rebel. I feel for this poor boy. Let me hug him. Let his queen hug him. Somebody hug him! - OMG OMG OMG they're gonna go to Gen's bedroom in Eddis' library, right??? That tumblr post was right! - wooot oh man, Susa turned! whoaaaaa. Gen is so powerful. I am at AWE - asdfasdf neck kisses, hold me, i'm dying - w-w-wait.... so is Susa and Erondites still plotting together though?? Susa, you little snake, I had believed you! - no, Costis is leaving already??

- Costis and the whole comment about "his heart" isn't in his work XD. Though -- guys -- I'm gonna confess, ten years of manning my tiny crack-boat of Costistogiton, I'm a little heartbroken to know they've no hope - Teleus and Relius... Teleus and Relius???? THIS IS CANON GUYS??? But Relius is a playboy??? How does Teleus handle that??? ship name? telrel? leuslius? - Lol, the magus being sassy to his king - ohhhh all these glorious tidbits we're learning about the Eddisian royalty. Helen's mother had an affair with Gen's father? I would not have expected it of the MoW!!! He seemed too straitlaced and in love with his Thief wife - oh. no. eugenides robbed eugenides. i would have NEVER - STENIDESSSSS!!!! - Gen channeling some Edward Elric energy there about his height, huh? Never thought he was bothered by it - what happened to Gen's stomach illness? Is it now gone because the sand in his food is gone? - "Hilarion knew a disaster when he saw one looming right in front of him." OMGGG this is throwback to that Philo comment in KoA - poor Legarus, now the shining example of a man who did poorly in love - OH MY GOD! Teleus was the one who copied the poem for Relius??? - OH. MY. GOD. Irene is pregnant again. - asdlfjalsdkfj "I didn't become inappropriate on my own!" al;sdjfk these babies. - NO. NOOOO GEN DON'T GO AFTER NAHUSERESH!! - NOOOOO STENIDES NOOOOO We never even met you! (except for that one short story) - Hilarion noooooo - oh nooo Gen being tortured AGAIN noooo how much more can this poor boy handle?

- yess Gen the Thief again!! - Eugenides Eugenideides??? - Philoo nooooo! To think he might still be alive if he *had* fought in the battle instead of accompanying Gen to the trap. I am sore about this, ok? SORE - At least my boy Aris is still alive - nooo Fordad, how could you. I rooted for you - Irene crying. My baby - At least Petrus and Galen have finally teamed up - RELIUS NOOOOOOOO. I HATE FORDAD SO MUCH. SO MUCH - no no no I refuse to believe it. Relius is ALIVE hiding REALLY WELL. Shame on him for breaking poor Teleus's and Pheris's hearts - omg Sejanus. All the Pherises. Their poor dear mother, having to be married to the nasty old Erondites - you go, random horseman who took Pheris on your lap!! *I* say you survived the battle; you and Pheris just never crossed paths again - Noo MoW... =( - oh noo, Sejanus. =( All these people I'm mourning when I had hated them before. Though to be fair, Sejanus was really sympathetic at the end of KoA already - HEEECTTTOOORRR????? - LOL omgggg, Baron Anacritus dancing with his lover right after his wife??? the Nerve! - YESSSS, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT RELIUS?? Yeeaaaaaah!! Now he can go back to Teleus and Pheris, and dote on the prince and princess! - wait, where my boy ARIS at??? Please tell me he and Costis are still 2 peas in a pod!!! - ohhohhooh awwww that lovely short story!!! Irene was descended from a goddess too? Aww. And I suspected Alyta is also the water goddess from QoA. - I can't believe it. It's DONE. It was SO GOOD. I would be cherishing this last book for decades, y'all. It was SO GOOD.

#queen's thief #return of the thief #rott spoilers #return of the thief spoilers #spoilers #DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS

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jamielea81 · 4 years

Text

Conversations

Chapter 5

Description: You accompany your friends on a day trip to Animal Kingdom Theme Park where you meet Scott Evans by chance. This one afternoon leads to a year long friendship with both Chris and Scott over text messages and phone calls.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing and drinking.

Word Count: 5,200

A/N: See note at the end of the chapter. Italics are internal thoughts.

Catch up with Chapter 4

The Minneapolis-St. Paul International airport was packed for your five o’clock flight on the twenty seventh. Apparently, everyone else was also saying goodbye to the Christmas holiday besides yourself. Vacation time is always great, but you had a story due on December twenty ninth that really needed to be finished. Technically, the article could have been written while staying in the frozen tundra that you once called home. The assignment is a piece covering various places to celebrate New Year’s Eve. All the information for the story could be found online and any questions could easily be answered via phone call, but after a week with your family, you needed the peace and quiet. You had grown accustomed to living alone. Home centered you, even if it was just a rental. You also thrived in an office setting; the beat of the busy newsroom also matching the beat of your heart.

Y/N: Getting ready to board. Just wanted to say goodnight in case I crash when I get home.

Grabbing your purse and duffle bag off the floor, you joined the massive crowd waiting to board the plane. This was the part of travel that gave you anxiety. The takeoff, landing, and overall length of a flight never bothered you. Nope, it was the crowd that stood directly in front of the gate. As if being on the plane longer than need be and stuffed next to two other people was enjoyable. But because everyone else stood around the gate, your anxiety made you join them.

After twenty minutes of waiting for boarding sections to be called, why they even had family boarding on a flight to Orlando was beyond you, you were seated somewhat comfortably in your window seat. The flight was full, so you did have two seat mates. Sisters from what you could tell with the bickering. The one in the middle seat explained they retired to Florida but made the trip home to see their brother for Christmas. So, you were right, sisters.

Chris didn’t send a text back, so you quickly typed one out before shutting it off for the flight.

Y/N: There are rumors that the flight has a wealthy oil baron on it. I’m pretty sure I am seated next to him. If you don’t hear from me, you know why.

You made it through the flight easy enough. All the seats were equipped with monitors loaded with various movies and television shows. Plugging in your earbuds, you settled on Toy Story 4 since you hadn’t seen it yet. After that finished, you mindlessly watched a couple of episodes of the Big Bang Theory.

As much fun as you had with your family, it was good to be home. Between the time spent at your mom’s house and then at your dad’s, plus your brother dragging you out nightly, to quote Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon, you were “getting too old for this shit.”

Walking in your house around ten that night, you were a little disappointed to see Chris hadn’t texted back. Knowing that him and Scott where in Boston to spend time with family and friends, you tried not to let it bother you too much. You were exhausted anyway. A long hot shower and your bed sounded like the ultimate plan. Emptying your suitcase into the washer could wait until tomorrow.

With a one load of clothes in the washer, a second in the dryer, and your article half done, you were feeling pretty proud of yourself. You even woke up before your alarm this morning. Maybe a trip back home was all you needed for a boost. Usually post vacation, you needed another vacation to cope with life.

Your phone vibrated on your desk indicating you had a message. Picking it up, you saw it was Chris, so you swiped the message open.

Chris: Oil barons are so overrated. You better be home in Orlando.

You smirked at his response.

Chris: I was out late last night. Hope you had a good trip home sweetheart.

Y/N: I’m sorry, me and Spencer (the oil baron) are picking out rings. Can I call you later?

Chris: OK smartass. Don’t make me fly out there.

Oh boy, did you wish he would deliver on that threat. In actuality, you had only spent five, maybe ten minutes at the most with Chris. And even though you’ve spent hours upon hours over the last couple of months talking to him on the phone and through text messaging, you were really hoping for some in person time.

Y/N: Oh no, the baron wouldn’t like that. I might though.

You bit your lip as soon as you hit send. While Chris flirted with you often, it was rare for you to come back with a comment of your own. When a few minutes had passed without a response, you got back to work on your article. Hours later and he still hadn’t responded, you worried that maybe you had taken the game to far. You knew your comment was totally innocent, but you couldn’t help but worry. You overthink everything, that’s just who you are.

Ugh! Why am I like this?

It wasn’t until the next day when you received a response from Chris where he completely ignored what you said.

Chris: Can you tell Scott that purple pants is not a good look.

Yep, you were not going to attempt to flirt again. You would leave all the flirting to him.

Y/N: I need context here.

Chris: For New Years Eve. He’s wearing purple pants.

Y/N: I stan Scott Evans. You can’t change my mind.

Chris: 😂

Chris: You do you sweetheart

The end of 2019 was here and it was a year you were happy with. You didn’t make any bad haircut decisions. All your potted plants were still alive. You had written a few articles you were very proud of. You spent time with family. You made some new friends. Overall, it was a year that you had no regrets in. You only hoped 2020 would be the same.

After finishing up at the office a little earlier than usual, you joined a group of your co-workers for a long dinner, opting not to join them bar hoping as the night went on. You were keeping your word on that whole not drinking for quite some time promise you made to yourself. Well, at least not hard alcohol. Wine doesn’t count.

By eight you were home and already in your pajamas. Brooks and Jana always went to Brooks’ brother’s house on New Year’s Eve. It was their tradition. The last few years they had invited you to come along, but you had always declined. It was their family thing and even though you loved Brooks like a brother, it felt like an intrusion to join them.

Even though Christmas was over last week, you had a pile of Hallmark Christmas movies you had stored on your DVR that you needed to get through. Write Before Christmas was the first on your list. The movie starred Chad Michael Murray who you had a crush on since his One Tree Hill days. DVR was really the way to go. Being able to fast forward through commercials meant you could get in almost three movies before midnight.

After you had thoroughly swooned over Chad, you moved on to Holiday Date. It was the whole fake dating plot with a predictable outcome, but it was cute so far nonetheless.

You hit pause because your phone was buzzing out of control. You could see from the preview screen that you had six messages from Scott.

Scott: Happy New Year!

Scott: Hope you’re out finding someone to kiss at midnight

Scott: You better be out

Followed by a picture of Scott and his boyfriend embracing. A picture of a few women standing on top of a bar pouring shots directly from bottles into the mouths of who you assumed were some of Scott’s friends. And a group shot of about ten that included Chris. The were all sitting in in chairs in front of a few tables, a few people crouched down in front and a pretty blonde sitting on Chris’ lap. So, there’s that.

“You can’t get jealous about someone who isn’t yours,” you said to yourself.

It was the truth. And you had no idea who she was. How many sisters did the boys have? You looked at the picture again, deciding for sure she wasn’t a sister. Not in the way she was sitting nor the way he was holding her.

Sighing out loud, you set the phone down on the cushion next to you. You moved from your comfy place on the couch, stomping your feet until you noticed you were doing so. You steady yourself and then walked calmly into the kitchen. Grabbing a bottle of rosé from your refrigerator, you uncorked it and filled your large wine glass to the rim.

It’s New Year’s, I’m allowed a glass of wine. A large glass of wine.

You made your way back to your couch, inhaling a couple of large gulps before hitting the play button on the remote. Deciding you needed to formulate an appropriate response to Scott rather than saying something stupid, you delved back into the romance on the screen. Or at least you tried to.

When a half hour had passed, you picked up your phone, typing out a normal response to Scott. Normal meaning how a person who was not in any sort of relationship with Chris Evans should respond. Because you weren’t. In fact, you hoped he got laid. Well, maybe not that.

Y/N: Happy New Year!

Y/N: You and Zach look so cute! Have a great night.

There. That’s how a normal person who wasn’t living in a fantasy land would respond.

Your second movie ended but you honestly weren’t paying all that much attention. Rather than starting up a third movie, you switched it to cable, finding Ryan Seacrest hosting the annual countdown show.

Finishing your wine shortly before midnight, you washed out the glass and set it in the rack to dry. You found your way back to your couch, laying down to watch the ball drop. You fired off a text to Jana to tell her you loved her as that was your traditional greeting to each other. She sent one back almost right away asking for the two of you to get lunch on Friday. The ball dropped to a chorus of cheers followed by a rendition of Auld Lang Syne by the New York City crowd. The after show played on and you fell asleep while a band you hadn’t heard of played in the background.

In the too early hours of the morning, you woke from your place on the couch, neck aching from the odd angle you slept in. Deciding to leave your phone where it was, you crawled in to bed with no plans of waking any time soon.

Of course, you couldn’t sleep forever. You had to eat at some point as evident from your stomach loudly growling around eleven in the morning.

After eating, then showering, and getting dressed for the day, you finally took a peek at your phone. Nothing from Chris. Which is whatever because you didn’t reach out to him either. But of course, there was a message from Scott from around three in the morning.

Scott: How you doin’?

You could totally hear him saying it in a Joey Tribbiani accent.

Scott: Earth to Sassy

You typed out a reply, but you doubted he was out of bed if he was texting you so late.

Y/N: Sassy was sleeping, you late night partier you

Deciding that you didn’t want to be rude, you sent Chris a text. It was New Years after all, so it was only polite. Hopefully he was awake. And alone. No. That was none of your business. Keeping it simple was the way to go.

Y/N: Happy New Year

Almost immediately, Chris responded back.

Chris: Happy New Year

And that was it. He was probably hungover...or occupied.

Friday found you at Champs for lunch with Jana. The two of you chatting about New Year’s Eve. Brooks’ brother and wife had a little boy almost a year ago, so the party was a little different than it had been in previous years. This apparently ignited a fatherhood desire for Brooks over the last couple of days.

“And I want to have a little one too, but I’m so close to making partner. It’s just not the right time,” Jana sighed out.

You reached across the table grabbing her hand, rubbing it soothingly. “When it’s right, it’s right,” you replied.

She nodded her head, giving your hand a squeeze before pulling it away. “The thing is, I don’t know if I’ll be any less busy after I make partner. I kind of wish we would have started a family right after we got married. Coulda, shoulda, I guess.”

“Is there ever a right time though?” you asked. “Then there’s me who hasn’t dated in how long?” You let out a chuckle, quickly sticking a chicken finger in your mouth. You really didn’t want the sympathy, you’re not even sure why you said it.

“Whose fault is that? I don’t see you putting yourself out there. Oh! Maybe you should ask Chris out,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Dude. No,” you replied. “Number one, we don’t live in the same state. The same region even. Number two, he’s so not interested. If he were, he probably would have made something happen. Number three, he barely knows me. Number four, he’s him and I’m me.”

Jana put her hand over your mouth, giving you a warning glare. When she didn’t immediately remove it, you licked it, causing her to cringe and grab a napkin to wipe the spot you licked. You chuckled quietly to yourself.

“You’re a brat. Do you know that?” she questioned. “But you’re also amazing and I don’t want to hear anything different. If not Chris, just put yourself out there. It’s a start of a brand new year. Make some changes.”

Numbly, you nodded your head. Maybe you had been hiding away, in a way. It wasn’t like you were staying home all the time. You went out. Sometimes. Okay fine. When you weren’t working or out with your married couple friends, you mostly kept to the office and your house. You’d think about adding something more social to your schedule.

January dragged on as it usually did. You definitely were enjoying the cooler and sometimes cold temperatures, making use of the new sweaters you purchased around Christmas. Your relationship with Chris had started to fizzle. It was subtle at first. Texts not being responded to for hours. Phone calls not being answered from time to time. Okay, that one wasn’t a big deal. But most of those phone calls weren’t being returned. A lot less sweethearts being tossed your way. It was different. And because you had developed feelings or the at the very least, a crush on Chris, you were feeling down about it. Scott was still in your life and it felt like he would always be. Maybe it was safer that way. Maybe being close with both of the brothers would ruin the other friendship in the end. Especially if feelings weren’t returned.

It was near the end of January when you brought it up to Scott. You weren’t looking for drama or attention, so you just casually mentioned over the phone when he brought up Chris that you hadn’t been hearing from Chris quite as often.

“Did Chris tell you what he bought Shanna?” Scott chuckles out.

“No, he didn’t,” you said and then took a breath. “Actually, I haven’t really been hearing from Chris a whole lot lately.”

You hear Scott blow out a breath and then you hear him groan. “He does that sometimes. I’m sorry,” Scott sighs.

“Why are you sorry? Don’t be sorry. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. As long as we’re good,” you stifled out.

“Of course, you and I are good. Not even a question Sassy.”

The nickname instantly putting you at ease.

“Good.” You bit at your lip, wondering if you should push further. Why not, might as well make this a one and done conversation. “What did you mean by, he does this sometimes?” you asked.

“When he’s with someone, he kind of just gets wrapped up in that person. He’ll eventually gets better at talking to the outside world, it just takes him awhile.”

Welp. There it is. So, at least you can give up on this little crush. Definitely not feelings. Just a crush and you would be over it by tomorrow.

“Oh!” you exclaimed.

Get. It. Together.

“I didn’t know he was seeing anyone,” you said in a much calmer voice.

“Yeah…It’s with Courtney. And you have no idea who Courtney is, sorry. They’ve dated a bunch of times of the years. Just can never seem to make it work. She’s great and everyone loves her, they just never seem to work. And you better not tell him I told you that,” he warned.

“Geez, calm down Grumpy. Like I said, we aren’t exactly talking these days and I’m not exactly going to bring up a girlfriend I don’t know,” you replied.

Scott chuckled. “There’s the Sassy I know. Anyway, it’s still new again. They started to hangout right around Christmas.”

“Oh, is she that girl on his lap from the pictures you sent me on New Year’s?” you asked.

“Yeah, she was there that night. Long blonde hair?”

“Yep,” you replied.

“That would be Courtney. I wouldn’t worry, it won’t last. I mean, I want the best for him and if it’s her, the more power to them.”

Now you were confused.

“Wh-why would I worry?” you said and then promptly cleared your throat.

“Come on Y/N, it’s not hard to tell that you maybe have teeny-tiny crush on my brother. A little bit. Come on. Tell me I’m wrong,” he teased.

He couldn’t see you, but you were giving him the best bitch face you could muster. “Shuddup.”

It was a week a way from Valentines Day. Even though you were single for it again this year, you were never one of those people who hated the holiday. If you were with someone and the two of you decided to make the day special, great. If not, that was fine too. When your co-workers got flowers delivered to their desk, you always thought it was sweet. Brooks always went over the top for all holidays and you loved hearing about the special thing he did for Jana. What you didn’t love was your father calling you to wish you a happy Valentines Day that was really just a phone call prying into your relationship status. You loved your dad, you really did, you just wished he wouldn’t get on your case as much as he did.

You were up earlier than normal. Being the great friend that you were, you were bringing Jana breakfast since she was apparently going into the office earlier and earlier, surviving only on coffee. You stopped at your favorite coffee house, picking up two coffees, two apple cinnamon muffins, and a small bowl of oatmeal for Jana. You figured she could have the oatmeal now and snack on the muffin later.

Because she wasn’t pissed at you for any reason, she was already in the lobby, ready to sign you in.

“Good morning princess. I come baring gifts of a nutritional breakfast,” you greeted her after saying hello to Phil at the security desk.

“Why, thank you, bestie. Where would I be without you?” She puts her hand over her heart. The two of you were both smartasses and you often felt bad for Brooks.

You pass her the tray of coffees and wave your goodbye to Phil with your now free hand.

Jana’s apparently hungry as she scarfs down the oatmeal, only stopping to thank you for adding cinnamon for her. You’re still picking at your muffin because you ate a bowl of cereal before leaving your house. If you’re up early, your body wants to eat right away. Waiting was not an option.

“So, what does Brooks have planned for next week?” you asked.

“You know he doesn’t tell me. I’d bet money that you know and are just messing with me.” She smirks at you before picking up her own muffin, peeling back the wrapper.

Honestly, you don’t know. Brooks knows you well enough to know that you will squeal, especially if it’s something good.

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” you tease.

She sits up straight in her seat. “You know?! Tell me!”

You start to chuckle and shake your head. “I swear on your Chanel bag I don’t know. Just messing with you.”

After your short chat, Jana kicks you out of her office. The firm’s decision on who was making partner was going to be announced in a matter of days, so everyone was putting more time in. You checked your phone for any e-mails from the paper while you waited for the elevator. There were only two so far, just a couple of assignments for the week.

“Good morning, Y/N. What brings you here so early?” Ethan asks, bumping your shoulder slightly as he comes to stand next to you at the elevator. He’s dressed in another impeccable suit. Hair styled perfectly.

“Brought Jana a little breakfast. How are you Ethan?” you asked.

The elevator opens and a few people shuffle out. Ethan holds the elevator door for you to enter, and surprisingly he gets in. You press the button for the lobby, but he doesn’t push a button for any floor.

“I’m great. It’s going to be going to be a great week.”

He’s so sure of himself, but you can’t even fault him because he’s always so nice with a smile always present on his face. Jana’s said that he’s a bit of a know it all, but he’s a hard worker too.

The elevator doors open, the two of you walking out with Ethan walking next to you. He walks a little ahead, grabbing the door for you.

“Thank you,” you muttered as the two of you start to make your way across the parking lot.

“So, Y/N, are you seeing anyone?” he asked.

You stop in your tracks, right in the path of cars circling the lot. Deciding that’s not safe, you walk to an empty parking spot, Ethan trailing behind. The fact that he’d ask such a question surprises, but at the same time, it’s Ethan, you’re surprised he hasn’t asked sooner.

“I put the siiiiing in single,” you kind of speak and sing at the same time. Ethan in turn stares at you blankly. Apparently, he’s not a fan of Lizzo. “Ethan, we need to get you listening to popular music. I’m single.”

He gets the biggest grin on his face. Your cross your arms across your chest and lean on one leg, slightly amused. You know what’s coming, but you don’t want him to be so sure of your answer.

“Can I take you out sometime?” he asks, forest green eyes looking directly into yours.

You let him wait for your answer. Ethan is nice enough, he’s also easy on the eyes, and your dating life has also been lacking for quite some time. You’re actually slightly surprised it’s taken him this long to ask. Chewing on your bottom lip to really sell your indecision, he finally starts to squirm. He starts to brush his fingers through his perfectly jelled hair and you almost feel bad. A smile starts to form on your face and he instantly drops his hand, realizing what he was doing.

“I’d like that. Just not on Valentines Day. Not for a first date,” you tell him.

“Okay. Not on Valentines Day. Great. Okay,” he replies.

He’s such a dork, but it’s sweet. Ethan just stands there grinning at you and you’re really itching to get in your car rather than standing in a parking lot of a law firm.

“Give me your phone, I’ll put my number in it so you can call me,” you tell him.

Ethan passes you his phone, smile still bright on his face. You shake your head slightly but smile back, entering your number and passing him back the phone.

“I’ll call you,” he said.

“I look forward to it,” you reply, instantly cringing at your words.

I look forward to it? Who’s the dork now?

You offer him a slight wave before turning around and walking to your car. You’re kind of excited for the first time in a while. Getting in your car, you fire off a text to Jana.

Y/N: Ethan finally asked me out.

Jana: Oh, great. I’m going to have to see him even more now?

You chuckle at her response. You know she’s half teasing, but what a brat.

Y/N: You assume I said yes?

Y/N: OK, I said yes. But calm down, it’s one date. No one said anything about double dating.

Ethan waited two days before texting you. He asked to take you to dinner on Wednesday, which was two days before Valentines Day, so you said yes. The restaurant he chose was on the higher end, so wearing jeans was out of the question. Jana called you before you had the chance to call her. She was screaming in your ear and you could barely make out what she was saying.

“What? But say it slower with less yelling,” you said to her screeching.

“She made partner,” you hear Brooks shouting from the background.

“I made partner!” she yells, in a much lower tone than before.

“Oh my god, this is amazing! I knew you’d get it!”

“I can finally get some sleep,” she sighs out.

You know she’s exhausted, but all you want to do is go out and celebrate.

“Drinks tomorrow then?” you ask.

“Yeah. Yeah. But like, let’s go early,” she replied.

You chuckle at her response. “Early it is. I have news for your too. Ethan’s taking me to The Capital Grille on Wednesday.”

“Oh, fancy. Makes sense though since the two of us made partner,” she said.

“What?! I didn’t know that was even a thing.”

“Yeah, it happens. Rarely though. They couldn’t decide, so we both got it,” she said.

“Well, you get some rest, and call me tomorrow, love.”

“I will. Bye Y/N.”

You texted Scott a day later to tell him about your date. He told you he was excited for you and glad you had said yes. You laughed at the excited part because while you had been in a dry spell, it hadn’t been that long. Maybe six months. Maybe you should be more excited. Once you assigned a number to it, it sounded bad.

Scott asked if you’d heard from Chris. You had, but it was four days earlier. It was just a text saying hi, asking how I’ve been, but then the conversation fizzled out. That seemed to be the new norm in your relationship. A text every four days or five days. He had a girlfriend; he probably shouldn’t be talking to another girl daily and calling her sweetheart. You wouldn’t like that if it were the other way around.

Two days before your date, you sent Scott three pictures of dresses you were deciding between for your date with Ethan. He called you a few minutes later, wanting to go over your options.

“So, what kind of place is this?”

“It’s an expensive steakhouse in Orlando,” you replied.

“Okay, then option two is out. That’s way too casual. You should probably just throw it away. I don’t want to see that dress again.”

“Scott! Jerk. Leave my dress alone. It’s not that bad,” you complain.

“Want my help or not?”

“Fine. But I’m not throwing it out. I wear that to work a lot,” you replied.

“My point exactly. You don’t wear a work dress on a date Sassy.” Scott said.

“You takin’ to Sassy?” Chris says in the background.

Shit. He’s with Chris?

You’re not sure why you don’t want Chris to know about your date. You feel weird about him being there while this conversation is taking place.

“What about the first dress. The black one?”

It’s your attempt to move the conversation along. The sooner you get off the phone, the better.

“How slutty do you want to be on this date?” Scott asks.

Instantly you cringe, slapping your free hand against your forehead.

“Scoooott,” you whine.

“Slutty?” you hear Chris ask.

Jesus.

“It’s an honest question. Like a little slutty or a lot slutty?” Scott asked.

“Give me the phone,” Chris said. You hear Scott object in the background, but it’s too late, Chris has the phone. “What is Scott goin’ on about? You got a date or somethin’ sweetheart?”

There’s that nickname again and damnit if you stomach doesn’t flip. You really hoped you were over that.

“Yeah. Yeah, I have a date,” you practically whisper out.

“And you didn’t tell me?” he asked.

A part of you thinks he’s joking or teasing, but his tone isn’t coming off that way and it’s rubbing you the wrong way.

“Tell you?” you question.

“Well, yeah. You tell Scott all about it, but don’t mention it to me,” he replied.

“Chris, you and I haven’t been exactly talking a whole lot lately. When would I have told you?”

He scoffs at your response. “We talk.”

You’re shaking your head but he can’t see you which is annoying.

“Besides, you didn’t tell me you were seeing someone, let a lone had a girlfriend,” you replied.

There. You said it. It was none of your business, but you didn’t like this whole conversation and the attitude that was coming with it.

You hear breathing from his end but apparently the cat had caught his tongue because he wasn’t responding.

“I gotta go,” you said.

“Y/N, wait,” you hear him say, but your pushing the end call button before you can even stop yourself.

This was not a conversation you wanted to have. You were simply seeking a guy’s opinion on what to wear for a date. Your first in six freaking months and Chris who barely speaks to you needs to complain about not knowing about said date. You groaned out loud, picking up the work dress and sticking it back in your closest. Sending pictures of the two remaining dresses to Jana to make the final decision, you walked into your kitchen, opting for tea rather than wine.

You phone buzzed while the water simmered in the pot.

Scott: Hey, it’s Scott. I’ll call you later.

Scott was your friend. You just hoped that if your friendship with Chris was over, it wouldn’t cause any drama or stress for Scott.

Chapter 6

A/N: If you’ve read any of my past stories, you will know that I love a happy ending. Please don’t worry. I will fix this. I want this to be as realistic as it can be, so I don’t believe that Chris would put his life on hold for someone he has a phone relationship with. But have faith and know I love you all.

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#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fan fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans reader insert #chris evans x y/n #chris evans imagine

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thecrenellations · 3 years

Text

Return of the Thief Notes, Part One: The Book of Pheris, Volume I

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part Two | Part Three | TaT)

Contents: "So, so, so” watch, Costis watch, swearing, trashing the king’s attendants, being objectively wrong, boundless enthusiasm and love

I promise I’ve had more developed thoughts since these often incoherent ones, but I’ve enjoyed having these notes to refer to - for sentimental reasons and for entertainment, so here they are, for others who enjoy liveblogs and/or being whisked back in time to their first read of this wonderful book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Dedication, Table of Contents, Exordium:

There it is – to Sounis

Exordium – vocab #1

Interregnum?!? Alyta?

Pheris!!!

Yeah I love him from the first page

MOIRA

MOCKING COMMENTS HELP! Gen lives!

A new level of unreliable narrator

Moira, messages of Gods, Pheris, messages of __

Wtf is going on in this study? A zoo?

high king vs great king vs annux?

okie dokie dude

Chapter 1

1. Susa – Costis

2. Infirmity – who gets to be hero/tell story (I started reading right after the book launch, in which mwt spent some time talking about her writing influences and decisions connect to this question - Pheris isn’t her first disabled protagonist and storyteller, of course, but it was lovely to meet him properly directly after hearing her talk about it. Book launch foreshadowing part 1...)

Melisande?

Is this why he wasn’t taught to read?

3. Always the summer

Bees!

4. Hunting cat… hm…

Ok … shrine … 😬

5. Once again we start with a disaster or having to flee

Which Eugenides precipitated

Bite!

Little monster :(

6. Falling…

7. :( :( :(

His purpose? D:

8. YIKES

Chapter 2

9. Hello there! (Gen!)

Massive chair?

10. CRACKED WATER JUG (amphora motif???)

11. Triangle from seal!

Gen that’s rude to Pheris :( (“He will fit in very well with my attendants”)

Wait. This must have happened before ACoK! (nope)

12. :(

Xikander … never made an impression before

How old is Pheris? (lol)

13. Philologos come thru!

Royal closet reappears!

14. Hello weird secondhand scene!

He is Eugenides

Marina…

15. Petrus? GALEN? OH SHIT!

Is this why Galen was called? (nope)

16. Hell yea Petrus

Miras’ golden balls oh no

All these previously unnamed sucky attendants!

17. Ula – goddess of hearth and healing

Ok … Galen … or a god? Eugenides????? (why did these options occur to me before Mr. Shows Up At Your Bedside At Night himself)

18. Finally the attendant floor plans I crave + hunting scenes!

19. EXCUSE ME he slept through Sounis + Eddis wedding!!!

Again – high king!

20. So Ion is beautiful … hmm.

Yeah … Sejanus has facets. I like it.

21. Clearly no one would know what king would do … lol

Don’t mind me just sorting the attendants on a spectrum of awfulness!!!

22. SO SO SO – ION!!!!!

How many fucking attendants are there and how many are on my hit list!

Is “the necessaries” bathrooms or like … him stealing? (just the bathrooms ... the Gen-Pheris parallels were really getting to me at this point)

23. OH MY GOD THE UNIFIED CREST

Also … frogs. Frogs.

24. Big day for Gen huh

Definitely an aura of Something as he writes about Gen

25. HELLO EVERYONE

26. Sorry Kamet, Pheris does the physical descriptions better. They’re beautiful

I’m blacking out at Eddis and Sounis

27. Jesus Christ. The bear.

Cousin time!

Under the table is the new up on the roof!

Uh… twin imagery ….

Gen’s feet!

Jesus. The matching

28. Cleon … wtf? A cousin?

A trial for Sophos?

Show! Us! Sophos’s! Shoes!

29. If u throw things out the air shaft you might hit the king

Was it a chicken?

Lol nvm the guy at night is Gen. That is … very sweet

- Showing up at night

- Accent

- Complaining about Petrus

- Swearing

- One hand

I am judging Costis and Sophos for not describing the paneling in Gen’s room!

Chapter 3

30. Was it a chicken?

An earring huh, good hand huh

31. Literally screaming “NO!” at Gen. Don’t joke about dying! I am killed by Gen on annux day. This is. My boy. Yes he is perfect. Yes he will refuse to get up. I love him. I died on page 31

Philologos is still the best of them

32. Dancing bear indeed

Always the powdered gold

Ruby!!!!! <3

Aww a smile!!! <3

Pheris he likes you!

33. They both love invisibility and lost it … I cry

Erupt like the sacred mountain excuse me!

OR WORSE return to bed! Lol

34. He’s Eugenides when he’s talking to Attolia

Ouch hero talk

! from Irene!

My queen!

Hey Phresine!

They way we do <3 he’s hating it but he’s so comfortable with her

Sister and bro mention! C’mon!

I love them

EYEBROW

35. Honestly that’s a yes (“I have no idea what you mean, my queen”)

It’s so cute they hang out in the morning … like how long was it even since they’ve seen each other lol

:( tough walk for Pheris

Is it prophecy time?

Lol how long does this construction take?!

Also … she’s pregnant, huh? but no one knows (nope)

Is befriending someone weaponized as a prank count for Gen’s enemies to friends list?

Also SHOW ME the magus. I know he’s here!

36. Pheris excuse me, why not recreate this!

Lol cast off language of history indeed

Feel the thrum of the goddess!

EXCUSE ME… a minor goddess? Mystery goddess? Or Philia?

Oh Gen

37. Well, Gen, someone is having a worse day than you.

Damn, how far we come.

Aww Sounis, babe, I love you and so does Gen

[drawing of the four of them sitting in a row]

38. Artadorus???? Pomegranate?

39. HEIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A friend! Also lol. Two smiles, for Pheris and Heiro..

40. Yesss Melheret joke in action.

Costis has left tho right?

Jesus, Melheret

SHE GAVE HIM A HORSE (I COULD NOT DEAL with this entire conversation, but then again I could not deal with this whole book.)

41. I love them all so much

“on that horse, you will look like a king” I can’t with her sense of humor

He sure did say that

I feel like I’m missing something with the fight on foot thing … remembering battles?

Helen called him Gen!

Sophos stop talking about yourself and bringing apricots into everything lol

Lol these bystanders don’t know how lucky they are. Nor does Pheris, yet

42. She’s protecting him

Also … Gen … you didn’t want to be a soldier.

43. Guards have capes

2 startled men … hm …

Oh Gen. The fucking brutal echoes…

44. :( :( :(

Gen tell your wife you’re sick!

The attendants are so dumb

45. So, so, so :(

Tell who? Petrus?

Wink!

Yes?

46. Bleeding! Salt! Lemon! Heck no! What is he, a piece of meat?

Oranges?

47. “savoring each bite as if it were my last” ... Same … but with this book

Hmm… Alyta! Goddess of the gentle rain! (despite this “hmm,” I did not put the pieces together)

48. Oh no Teleus! And someone?

Aw he realized <3 lemon water

49. Gen eat your broth lol

50. I love them.

Ion’s really trying to make up for what he did that one time

51. Without the approval of the great goddess HAHAHA

I love them. Cousin time! Growl?

Idk whether or not to be reassured, Gen.

Wow Cleon I do not like that. Also didn’t he die? (...)

Comma (“I am not, Eddis”)

Go smack him!

52. Gen I love you.

Helen I love you.

He’s so bad at self care but I love him

Chapter 4

55. love that our narrator just disappears and reappears

56. Attolia’s brother’s bedroom? Yikes. Ominous. A detail in a story we’ve already gotten, different every time <3

57. fucking attendants. 3 good ones. Medander you were beneath Costis’s notice before but I hate you. Costis didn’t have time for you or Xikos or Xikander and nor do I

58. interesting pawn talk!!!

59. <3 Pheris :(

The Gen comparisons though

:( :( :( :(

60. flamboyance <3

Cemphora bush

Bees

61. I love him

62. I love them

Also lol “Your majesty?”

63. Name … hm … (“I have deliberately omitted [my tutor’s] name here”)

64. more twin imagery I swear

WAIT … it was his birthday! Not just Annux day?!! Gen was born in late summer???

Attendant list thank you

65. laying it all out there, huh … (that one Gen quote)

Lol they’re the same but Pheris likes horses

66. Insellia! Hello nice to meet you

67. Gen that’s mean. (“He is hardly even half of one.”)

68. Coleus leves???

“I am Eugenides.” <3

Gen why

69. Gold cups???? Hmmmmm. Also lioness. Def invoking Costis. (they’re probably not the cups, but STILL)

Earth….

70. Moira! Hi!!! Rainbow shawl!

Like a rabbit!

Pester!

I’m … very sad he uses his Attolian accent with Helen

71. Aaah so good

Mortals

Moira knows another messenger?

Does he think he can’t die in battle?

72. hmm are they WRANGLING?! (Galen and Petrus and my Fire and Hemlock word association)

Kill that pastry Irene I love you

morning training with his … guard? (Is that the whole guard or a guard? Costis senses tingling once again.)

73. Oh gen.

Ouch! (“to send people to their deaths and not risk my own is contemptible”)

Is she implying he’s paying Therespides?

74. Interesting Cleon plan. So many doubles

OUCH. (“Only if he comes back from the dead.” I assumed Lader had died in the war; it’s a different ouch now. I love that they both accidentally say things to each other that poke old wounds, and it’s not a big deal but it’s also not dismissed! Their relationship has come so far, and I love them so much.)

75. Verimius – Lavia – Celia??? Somebody is queer in there!

A GUARD

This scene confuses me. Xortix? Layteres? Aris! but dice thing is less political … so maybe? (just wait....)

76. So many reasons to hate Medander

Hey Costis! You exist! KoA happened!

Gen is just … still so uncomfortable and miserable. He chose, he has people, but still.

RIP Clopius also WHAT

77. Lol Hilarion’s grand statements

78. Yorn Fordad Hello!

Luxurious mustache

The mighty Pents?

Besin Quedue – she’s coming 4 you watch out

79. RIP Baron Hippias

Chapter 5

80. Spring! Plays! Cenna!

81. Oh dear

Oh dear

At least they said he was pretty

83. ?!? :( wine

Uh oh. Stockpiling

85. What even.

AAAAAAAAAH COSTIS

86. Omg Irene. Hissing. I love her.

Also … Gen’s the viper

Also this scene was written by Pheris.

Damn.

87. oh no.

What better man

She fucking quoted Howl. I love them.

Also, bees (this scene killed me)

90. Falling?

Oh shit

Also … Juridius and Pheris, Susa and Costis (comparing demands for information)

93. oh my god (IT’S THE WINDOW SCENE)

Oh my god

94. She! Called! Him! Gen!

I love this and it scares me

Lol Chloe

Irene you learned from her though

95. D:

96. :(

97. water stuff

98. what the heck

OH NO (Quedue scene)

100. yikes

Omg

Wow.

102. yikes yikes YIKES

103. a blade has protruded from his chest (tbt to The Thief)

jesus

106. shit

Did Gen hit him?

108. lol Phresine

109. lol

I want genuinely every character’s reaction to this shit

Chapter 6

111. what the heck Gen.

112. like a god [crown doodle]

114. Perma?

116. Gen. Gen. Gen. Do not.

117. AAAA (god intervention)

122. Juridius to Dite

124. bye Iolanthe and Ileia! Tell us about Caeta and Silla.

125. did not expect so much Ion

Chapter 7

127. Fryst god of winter

She laughed!

They’re so married

128. OH SHIT (Costis ship is sighted and I remember what’s about to happen next)

Interesting timing

He rode the horse home?

131. Beauty and good, beauty and kind

134. The gods’ goodwill

Keep them safe <3

135. Is that his MOM?!! Wtf (it was!)

Pheris steal those earrings!!!

RING! SMASH BOX!

137. AMPHORA EARRINGS (and flowers)

138. I love Phresine

139. Why do I feel like all the game birds are pigeons

140. meanwhile Gen’s been hanging out with Kamet. Shit. I cannot.

WELCOME HOME BOYS!

HELL YEAH KAMET ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS!

RELIUS COME THRU

141. lethium soup! The reversal

Safe for you

142. of course he knew <3

143. Kamet time! I love him. We get to see Kamet!!!

Also … echo of Gen’s notes on Mede

145. very handsome. … gaycostis vindication (referring to @costis’s url at the time and this post. Little did I know what else was to come in the next chapter and then a few months later with the adaptation news...)

Do you know who I am?

Chapter 8

147. Of course he’s a cartographer

A favorite huh

148. of course she didn’t tell us his age!

149. the angsty window staring I crave

Music!

151. adventure, huh

I do have a soft spot for Melheret

152. concerned about amphora gift

153. Glad they can be well and united in spite!! (Gen and Melheret)

154. Pheris loves math and I love him

155. Hello Teleus. Hello olives

Lol Relius is not into math

156. pigeons. Inkpot!

157. yeah honestly. He tortures people. He was NOT tortured by the king

159. lol (“I have noted the elective nature of certain behaviors” ... I love Relius and Pheris.)

160. The Invitation! I <3 it

161. EXCUSE ME WHO

Legarus!

FOLKS HERE WE ARE (I cannot overstate how wonderful it was to read this page. I did not know who the poem was from, and “Someone loves me very much, even with all my faults” is even sweeter to reread, but it’s just ... his confidence is so different from the tentative consideration of a new philosophy of trust and love we see in KoA. And there is subtextual queerness in the books before this one, some more apparent and some more subtle (and what is obvious to one reader may be subtle or invisible to another, in these books especially), and there is the attendant love triangle a few chapters back, but HERE - here, Pheris acknowledges the real feeling and love in Legarus’s disastrous relationship and tells us directly that his lover was a man, here he seamlessly makes it clear how bi and poly Relius is, and he quietly ties these relationships and realities to his growing understanding of the world. It’s not subtext. And there’s a lot more to come, but this page really hit me, and sort of promised the “more to come” while assuring me that what had come before, more subtly, was there. I used to have heteronormative readings of both these books and myself, and when Thick as Thieves brought them crashing back into my heart after years away, I knew better about myself, and I saw that - or the possibility of that reading - reflected in the new book, and it was such a good surprise. It meant a lot, and this page meant a lot, and that is why I’m writing a small essay to accompany this note.)

Lol wow

162. Where are you traveling, man (this question remains)

163. Fuck you, Orutus

164. Stole an inkpot!

165. the map!!! (Kamet’s)

166. I love them!

167. The Math Master hmm

Am I an oracle (Nope! :) )

#there is SOME context #and some rambling #but i'm sure some of it doesn't make sense so i'm very up for explaining anything #return of the thief #the queen's thief #mwt #something i #rott spoilers #return of the thief spoilers

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swedisheek · 3 years

Note

hello stinky i would like to know who is your favourite mechanism and why, i expect a 2k word essay on my desk by friday

ah fuck ah shit they’re all so excellent i will instead list my favorite things about all of them in order of my vague memory of when they joined the crew. also i smell good how dare you. also FYI for anyone not informed about the Lore, all the shit i’m gonna reference below is a hundred percent canonical.

-jonny: has an ego three thousand times larger than his short ass, king of hubris and not understanding anything. loves his sister dearly, but draws the line at random orgies, which i respect. drags corpses onto the ship like a cat bringing home a kill and tells carmilla to fix his new friends. eyeliner and belt game slay me. (four belts? FOUR??) sad and totally made up backstory, he just lied to everyone’s face about his daddy issues and they were like “chill, let’s write a song where you play all the parts and burn down a casino.” eats people sometimes, which is a positive trait in my heart.

-nastya: my god, finally a voice of reason- ah never mind. her vibes are impeccable, my mysterious trans lesbian queen is unique and absolutely vibing <3 “fuck the ship-!” “i do :3″ is my favorite line of dialogue in anything ever. machinefucker and very proud of it, to an almost concerning degree. that one picture where she’s resting two of her fingers on her chin and cocking her hip as she looks up at the sky makes me Yell.

-toy soldier: my beloved it/its inanimate enby ts!! i love it bc it just. vibes. it has so much fun singing and playing instruments and just fucking around with its friends. who would’ve thought the war criminal with a stolen voicebox would be the most babey of this group?? SPEAKING OF ITS VOICE HOLY SHIT. TRIAL BY SONG CAUSES HEART PALPITATIONS. adorable little nutcracker with the saddest fucking backstory infinity/10

-tim: so very very done with jonny but we all know they make out in “secret”. hit that fucking high note as loki so well, my god, he put his whole pussy into that! go gayboy relive that trauma! plays out of tune guitar like a champ and has a ten minute long song dedicated to him blowing shit up, what a power move. excellent hair and long sweeping coats, extremely gender of him.

-brian: ohhh sweet boy. but also totally commits atrocities? like he wouldn’t kill an octokitten that was eating marius alive but he’d let a million people die just so he didn’t have to hurt anyone, and that’s just on mje mode- his morals are so fucked, poor man. also hung upside down inside a sun for a century and respects the hell out of trans people and brings people back to life and those are just a few of my favorite things about him. he fully committed to the steampunk look when he got mechanized and i love that so much. also has the potential to be a tumblr sexyman.

-ashes: ASHES!! ashes ashes ashes. first off what a fucking good name that’s like a murderer naming themself Dead People. they’re the hottest, it’s just a fact, sorry everyone but they are just. mmm. carries around gold bars and cigars and gasoline and nothing else which i respect so much. (though where do they put that stuff? their hat??) sings excruciatingly beautifully and snarks at all the idiots they call their friends and practices the three r’s (rage, repression, and radicalness) so i cannot not love them.

-ivy: mystery wife! her whole thing is stories and yet she doesn’t know her own that’s so fucking pog of her. what does an archivist on a spaceship even do dawg it’s not like the other guys care about the cultures they’re annihilating, i’m pretty sure she just sits in her bunk and reads. why did she need her brain replaced? why does she have such crazy memory problems? how does her new brain calculate all these percentages? we don’t know! she’s very cute and wears fishnets and has a mohawk-ponytail which i adore. play me to sleep on ur flute please miss

-raphaella: twenty points right off the bat for having wings and wearing a knit crop top. what is she going for with her look, we don’t know, but she could do horrific experiments on me and i’d thank her, so it’s working, clearly. alternatively tortures and tops the shit out of marius, i will die on this hill. also a terrifyingly good singer, those little “the void siIings” in losing track make my breathing stop and the entirety of ties that bind is so fucking amazing i. hhhh

-marius: christ i love you mr neither a baron nor a doctor. the other guys are dumb but he’s the himbo of the group just for being That Way. also most of his characters’ (who are also himbos) lines are something along the lines of what the fuck or i don’t understand so i’m gonna punch you. he’s adorable and has such bastard vibes, even his outfit is ridiculous and cute. even though lyf was a cop he deserved to get a happy ending with them ok?? i just love him and his liddol raccoon face and he deserves a slow burn criminal/detective to crew mates to lovers.

OK JEEZ THATS A LOT. ARE YOU HAPPY ALEX. IM NOT GONNA DO AURORA OR CARMILLA BC CARMILLA LEFT AND AURORA NEVER TALKS TO ANYONE BUT NASTYA SO THERES NOT MUCH INFO ON HER PERSONALITY. WOO BOY.

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catsafarithewriter · 4 years

Note

“It’s been a long time since I had a good sword fight. I’m hoping you’ll indulge and give me one.” I feel like baron would say this to a man who kidnaps Haru for force marriage. Like it would be how the cat bureau would meet this prince and the guy immediately wants hair as his wife so baron had to fight him to save her. It would be kind of cute. If that’s ok? And love your previous works I love how emotional and fluffy they are!!😍😍❤️❤️

A/N: This ficlet ended up being far more comical than you were probably expecting (if you want angst over the kidnapped-to-be-a-bride trope, check out YC’s latest story!) and thank you! Flattery gets you everywhere! (That’s how that saying goes, right?)

Haru didn’t have time for this.

Like, really, really didn’t have time.

She leant over the armrest of her newly acquired throne and scowled at the prince who had put her there. “You know, it would save us all a lot of time and trouble if you just returned me back to my world now.”

“But why would I do that,” the prince asked, “after all the effort I went to to attain such a lovely bride?”

“You should do that because this lovely bride has friends who aren’t afraid to kick even royal asses who kidnap people.”

“Kidnap is such a strong word…”

“Steal. Capture. Imprison. Trap. Which of these words do you prefer, Your Highness?” Really, Haru thought, Baron was beginning to rub off on her. Although the people he swept off his feet didn’t usually resort to kidnapping him to get his attention.

She supposed she was just that lucky.

“Oh, do not fret over your companions, my dear.” The prince smiled indulgently at her, as if she were a child in need of reassurance. “The palace is well guarded and highly secure. No one but who I allow will come anywhere near us–”

It was at that exact moment that the huge double doors leading into the throne room fell off their hinges, followed by a lot of smoke and coughing and barely-suppressed cussing that sounded suspiciously like Muta.

When the air cleared, the Bureau could be seen in the freshly-made opening.

The effect was somewhat ruined by Baron stomping out the smouldering hem of a stolen guard’s uniform. “Muta, next time please dial down the explosives,” he could be heard to mutter. “We want to create an entrance, not blow up the palace.”

“You take all the fun out of life,” Muta muttered back.

Haru looked to the prince and gave an unnecessarily smug smirk that was probably quite unbecoming of their possibly future queen. “You were saying?”

“Usually,” he amended. “Usually no one but who I allow is permitted…”

“Sure. Anyway, this has been a blast, but I’m already running behind schedule, so if we can wrap this up–” Haru rose to her feet, but found her wrist caught by the prince.

“Nothing’s been decided,” he said.

Haru slumped back into her throne. “Naturally.”

“Your Highness,” Baron called up to the raised dais. “It was a pleasure to help your kingdom out in our previous case, but it seems we may have mislaid a companion of ours in the leaving.” He bowed. “Miss Haru, I believe it’s time to head home.”

He looked up to meet Haru’s scowl. “You’re late,” she said.

“And you’re as stunning as always.”

She had to fight to keep the smile from twitching onto her lips. “You’re forgiven. Mostly.” She tilted her head, taking note of the stolen guard uniform that was only gently smouldering now. “And where did you get that disguise?”

“Oh, this?” He had the audacity to look surprised, as if only just noticing the cape. “Stealing into a palace is no simple task. We had to take some precautions.”

“You’re telling me you took the time for a wardrobe change before coming to rescue me?”

“Well, when you put it like that…”

“ENOUGH!” cried the prince. He raised his head from where it had been dropped into his hands. “Could you two stop… flirting for long enough to take this seriously? Baron, I have selected your companion as the perfect partner to rule this kingdom alongside me, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!”

“Are you sure?” Baron asked. “Because we took great pains to get this far and it would seem like a waste to just turn around and go home now. I even went to all the hassle of finding a good costume to get us this far with only minimal chaos.”

“Baron, just take him seriously and get this over and done with!” Haru called. “I have places to be!”

“Very well, Haru. As you wish.” Baron removed the stolen cape and hat, passing both across to Muta. “So, Your Highness, how do you wish to resolve this? A challenge of wits? Chess? Maybe a riddle or two…?”

“I challenge you,” the prince cried, “to a duel!”

Baron beamed. “Fantastic. It’s been a long time since I had a good sword fight. I’m hoping you’ll indulge and give me one.”

Any fallout from his, frankly-impressive, line delivery, if he did say so himself, was hindered when Haru called out, “What?” from the queen’s throne. “What about the fencing lesson you gave me yesterday?”

“That was practice!” he called back.

“I put you on your ass and you don’t consider that a decent sword fight?!”

“What I meant was– hang on.” Baron bowed to the prince and motioned to Haru. “Would you mind terribly if I just cleared this up–”

“I’ve challenged you to a fight to the death,” the prince protested.

“I’m not hearing a no. Trust me, this’ll only take a moment.” He dodged his opponent and ascended to the dais. “Haru–”

“I don’t have time for this, Baron,” she said.

“I know, but–”

“I have to pick up Kasumi from nursery in the next…” She checked her watch. Both clock hands were spinning rapidly. “…whenever the equivalent of 2pm is for this world.”

“I know–”

“I do not have time for you to show off in some grand toothpick fight.”

Baron looked crestfallen. “I’ll be quick.”

“Will you? Or will you get distracted with fancy footwork and showy moves?” She raised an eyebrow. “Look me in the eye and promise me you will keep this practical and…” she motioned vaguely to him, “non-Baron-y.”

“Non-Baron-y?” he echoed with a grin.

“Drama-llama-y.”

“That’s not a word either.”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” She prodded him in the chest. “If I am even a minute late in picking up Kasumi, I will hide all your tea for a month and tell your sister about that time you jumped out of the window.”

“Got it. No drama-llama antics. Just… one request.” He had to duck as the prince swung a sword at him. “Muta! Cane!” He caught his cane with practised ease and halted the prince’s second attack in time to look back to Haru. “Next time I give a striking one-liner, just let me have it.“

“Get me back to the human world on time and I’ll consider it.”

“Deal.” Baron dropped away and rolled down the steps. “Now, that was hardly sportsmanlike, Your Highness. Attacking your opponent while their back was turned.”

“Then stop flirting with my future wife!” the prince snapped back.

“Not your wife!” Haru shouted. She slumped back into her seat and watched the fight play out with a general air of grumpy impatience. Muta sidled up to her and offered her a slice of cake. She took it.

“And I suppose you’re going to tell me you managed to fit in a trip to the kitchens as well, before you decided to get me out of this nightmare,” she grumbled.

Muta shrugged and munched on the rest of the cake. “We figured you’d be handling this, and the easiest unguarded entrance was the kitchens. Did you know they’re making you a six-tiered cake for your wedding?”

“Oh joy,” Haru monotoned sarcastically. “It almost makes getting married tempting.”

“You should get yourself hitched more often. Weddings have all the best food.”

“Why don’t you get yourself married, and then you can choose the wedding food,” Haru retorted.

“Nah. You seem to have the market cornered on unwanted marriages anyway. If I just stick around with you, I’m sure to be invited to many more without having to raise a paw.” He finished the last of his cake. “Except for the whole, ya know, rescuing you business.”

“Charming.”

“Nice dress, by the way.”

“Fight me, peasant,” she muttered. She watched as Baron flipped over the prince and landed perfectly, giving Haru an imaginary tip of a hat as he did so. “Oh god, he’s showing off. I’m going to kill him.”

“And yer sound surprised?”

“No. Just annoyed.” She raised both hands to her mouth and shouted, “Get on with it!”

Baron nodded, but when he turned to block the prince’s oncoming attack, she could see he was talking. Probably delivering some witty comeback to whatever his opponent was throwing at him.

Haru groaned and slouched further into the throne. The many ruffles of her ridiculous dress bunched up at the improper posture and she had to flatten them down. There was no way she was going to be on time to pick up Hiromi’s daughter at this rate, and she had no idea how she was going to be able to explain it to her friend. Somehow ‘I got kidnapped to be the bride of another world’s prince’ just wouldn’t fly.

“It’s not his fault,” Muta said. “He was made to be dramatic and showy and that’s the guy you fell in love with.”

“Yeah, I suppose…” Haru looked sharply at Muta. “Wait, what?”

Muta smirked. “Do ya really want me to repeat that louder for everyone to hear, or do ya want to admit you heard it right the first time?”

Haru blushed. “The second one.”

“Good.” Muta grinned wider. “And it doesn’t help that he always gets worse like this when he has someone he wants to show off for.” He winked. “If ya get my drift.”

Haru stared and blushed further. “Hang on a minute.” She stood and cupped her hands to her mouth again. “Hey, Baron?” she bellowed.

Baron scooted to one side to smoothly avoid another attack. “Yes?”

“Do you love me?”

Baron’s attempt to parry fumbled, and the cane was knocked from his grasp.

“Ah-hah! Now I have you!”

Baron batted the sword away with his hand. “Shut up, I’m trying to talk here.What did you say, Haru?”

“ARE. YOU. IN. LOVE. WITH. ME?” Haru yelled across the throne room.

“Is this really the right time to ask?”

“Is that a no?”

“No! I mean–” Baron rolled away to avoid another attack. “Yes, I am in love with you, but could we discuss this over a cup of tea or something?! I’m kind of busy right now!”

“And I’m meant to be picking up Kasumi from nursery, and yet here we are!” Haru called back. She faltered. “Wait. So you do love me?”

“I have loved you for the past year, but thanks for noticing!”

“Well maybe if you made it a little clearer–”

“I thought I was making it clear!”

“Wistful looks do not make anything clear!”

“I’m sorry.Would you have preferred it in writing?”

“Maybe!”

The prince lowered his sword and threw a reproaching look at the two. “Look, could you please delay your declarations of love until after the fight?”

“No!” both retorted.

The prince shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said and pushed on with another attack.

Baron rolled back and snatched up his cane to deflect the hit. “Haru, I’m sorry if my intentions were unnecessarily vague, but you have to understand I’m not wholly familiar with modern-day styles of courting! And I wasn’t sure if you returned my feelings!”

“Of course I’m in love with you, you idiot!”

Baron knocked the prince’s sword clean away and didn’t notice. “You are?”

“YES!”

“Oh.”

The prince muttered something very unprincely and dived for the dropped weapon and went to attack Baron again. Whatever Baron had to say in addition to his eloquent ‘oh’ was smothered by the clash of cane meeting sword.

“PAY. ATTENTION. TO ME!” screamed the prince.

“Oh, this is getting ridiculous.” Haru snatched the cake plate - sterling silver - off Muta, stalked across the room, and slammed it into the back of the prince’s head. He slumped to the ground like a sack of royally-dressed potatoes. “There!” she heaved. “Fight over. Can we go home now? I have appointments to keep.”

“Haru…”

“If I’m not there in time for Kasumi, Hiromi’s gonna have kittens. I promised her–”

“Haru! Do you love me?”

She leant in and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh, keep up with the programme, Baron. Of course I do.” She patted him on the same cheek. “But, if I’m late to picking up Kasumi, I’m still going to hide all your tea for a month,” she said.

Baron could only grin like a fool. “That was the deal.”

#the cat returns #tcr ficlet #cat writes #fanlovedlt #replies #the 'youre late' 'youre stunning' 'your forgiven' line i borroed from pretty woman #after seeing it on another incorrect quotes page #also the 'love confession screamed while in fighting' bit was inspired by #that one scene in pirates of the carribbean where elizabeth and will get married #and just generally howl and sophie's first meeting in the book version of HMC #which is mostly undignified screaming if i remember correctly #also i struggle with ficlets for two days #and then bust this out in two hours #my brain is erratic and unhelpful but it occasionally has its moments #also I guess this ficlet is TBF complient?#well more or less

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