Classic "promised-at-birth-to-the-Ghost-King" story, except the contract never states how, exactly, the King is to use the offered soul. Usually, one would be offered as a bride or sacrifice. But with Pariah Dark sealed away, his retainers got a little lazy in the last few millennia. They just made some generic contracts and practically handed them out like candy.

When Danny took over as king via conquest, that included all the weird and messed up soul contracts the previous retainers had signed. And since ghost magic was a thing and seemed to have it out for Danny personally, many of these contracts updated their terms and conditions as soon as that crown hit Danny's head, reflecting the new King's subconscious desires and personality.

This caused many issues with those still around to profit from these contracts. Some people lost their power, some gained more, and some were unbound and kicked to the curb. A few special people found themselves dropping dead after their less-than-ethical abilities disappeared.

Danny was unaware of the chaos he had unintentionally caused for quite a while. It was only brought to his attention when a letter arrived on his desk one day with a copy of someone's valid contract enclosed. The new changes have been highlighted, and a separate note is attached.

It seems that in exchange for blessings of near-immortality for her infant son, a mother had offered Pariah Dark both their souls in order to ensure her child's survival during harsh times. (The souls were to be collected upon death and were to be used as soldiers in the King's Army.) The mother's soul had returned to the Keep decades ago and was recently assigned to tend to the gardens, while her son seemed to have grown into a fine gentleman and was still alive. He used his mother's gifts to serve his country and loved ones well, it seemed.

At first, Danny didn't see what any of this had to do with him. If the mother was already a part of his kingdom, and the son would be eventually, why was a letter about the whole thing showing up before him?

Then he read the revised contract, which bore his magical signature. A signature that overruled the power of Pariah and binding it to him.

'...and as such, in return for the abilities stated above, [Mary Pennyworth] and [Alfred Pennyworth] will fulfill the conditions detailed below, upon pain of Ending.

[Mary Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a lieutenant in the Skeleton Army caretaker in the Gardens of Pluto.

STATUS: COMPLETED

[Alfred Pennyworth], when returned to the Kingdom of Dark Kingdom of Stars, will work as a general in the Skeleton Army caretaker of the King and his Court.

STATUS: PENDING'

Danny had to re-read the contract several times to understand what it was saying. He now had a caretaker? What did a caretaker do? Was it like a ghost parent? Could this guy ghost-ground him??

He sighed and pressed the speed dial on his phone for Tucker. Time to find out who the hell this Alfred Pennyworth guy was, and how to break a magic contract when it wasn't even fulfilled yet.

Meanwhile, Alfred had just found the original copy of the contract amongst his mother's belongings after it glowed and drew him in. The paperwork cleared up a lot of mysteries he'd always wondered about himself, even if he disapproved of his mother's methods. Nonetheless, he smoothed out the aged paper with dark green ink, noted the fresh (sloppy, a teenager?) signature, and began preparing to meet this supposed new King and his Court.

It wouldn't hurt to make introductions before he died, after all.

Please I need to see the ship kids? Is Laios a good uncle? Do they have scales/feathers or sharp teeth? Horns? Claws? (This series has me in a chokehold rn)

*SQUEEZES YOU IN MY GRASP*

I had to put everything under the cut because this is a hella long post so everyone else just look at these cute farcille babies and rock on

HI HOWDY!! Laios is obsessed with these little freaks (he would never call them that though cause he would literally die for them if needed) He’s essentially been right by Falin and Marcille’s side since day one when it came to the babies! He’s a surprisingly good uncle but definitely that one where he gives the kids gifts that the parents are like “YEAH NO- he’s 8 he doesn’t need a crossbow”

He definitely gives the kids little trinkets he gets from foreign dignitaries since I don’t picture Laios really liking all the gifts and gold and money people will give him to butter him up when he catches onto it. The cool monster stuff stays with him though, but he’ll let the kids look at anything cool he gets that he decides to keep for his personal collection. I like to imagine that when he holds them he always keeps them to the side of his hip, real mom type stance when he’s holding them.

Secondly, GREAT QUESTION!! They have a little bit of both! Haru (the cream colored baby) has feathery down covering his ears, chest, and wings as well as basically anywhere else that he isn’t scaly or covered in soon to be thought flesh. He’s more of a dragon from the waist down but bird from the waist up like Falin was.

His sister Haize (the apple red one) has the most scales! (But the least feathers out of the pair) Haize has more of that traditional dragon look and unlike Haru, she’s dragon basically to the neck up. She has scrawny little forearms that aren’t quite attuned to walking yet but once she grows they’ll become a lot more useful for the crawling around stage of her infancy! Haru will often try to climb on her back because he wants to be fast too- he’s only a little guy but he still hates that she got the extra limb genes where he didn’t.

Both have wings though the down that Haru has makes it a bit difficult for him to fly, though he really grows to enjoy flapping and the flutter of his wings! Haize has more sleek featherless dragon wings which make her flight process a bit easier, though her longer body means that her flying is quite silly (it’s like when you pick a cat up by their middle and they just dangle, imagine that but with flight and her trying to tuck her limbs in to have less weight pulling her down). Both have claws on their dragon halves as well as spikes/spines on their backs though only Haize has been born with the making for clawed hands, Haru grows into his later in life!

Really Falin and Marcille are glad that the kids are in relative captivity, Haru’s inherited the “head empty, no thoughts, tee hee” touden genes and they’re like 75 percent certain that he would get eaten if natural selection had its way - assuming Haize didn’t protect him ofc. Haru is very sleepy as a baby while Haize is very cranky. She likes to sleep on her back but her itty bitty dragon wings get cramped when she does and sleeping on her side isn’t as a comfy. Aside from that she just likes attention and being with her parents which is tough due to their jobs.

Haru has colic due to the light magic that manifests in his stomach pouch organ! He was born with an organ similar to the one red dragons have that allows them to breathe fire! It allows him to conjure and manifest light and can be weaponized if a dragon knows what they’re doing. Really it’s much more useful as bioluminescence for dragons who dwell in darker dungeons as it allows them to lure in prey and the pouch’s brightness grows as a dragon approaches somewhere stacked with mana and magic which is an easy way to find enemies or food! Typically light dragons are very powerful but a rare find as they’re often incredibly soft and unable to protect themselves as babies as well as their newly born pouches which let off a lot of glow due to basically incubating for a year or so and refuse to dampen until they learn to properly dispel their magic via spells. Not to mention how easy of a target it is for their obvious weak spot, one bad slash to the tummy and ur done.

Most dragon babies learn early as having that much magic in you hurts a LOT but Haru takes a lot while to learn it, though Falin soon learns that pressing on his stomach and conjuring her own light magic to siphon Haru’s own eases a lot of his tummy aches and pains.

(I got way more facts about these guys so if you wanna know more just send another ask!! :]!! /gen)

some AU doodles of the two Primary Idiots

and then my jodybababababodyyyy <3 <3

when da AU is primarily focused around the brothers but then I add Jolene fucking Bennet as a treat 4 me in specific

When she looked up at Vash's face the concern was still there, as she'd anticipated. Role reversal was a hell of a thing. "Don't be silly," he chided, soft enough her heart cracked a little. "Can't I help?" "I wouldn't want you to…" "But there has to be some way to," he interrupted, smoothly as anything. "A little something I can do? I'd rather not sit here thinking I did nothing when you don't feel well." Vash gives Meryl a hand (and a hot water bottle) when her period leaves her dealing with discomfort.

I wrote a (largely TriStamp-based) Vash and Meryl fluff / hurt/comfort fic because my other WIP was draining the life out of my body. Oops. Developing friendship goodness where these two incredibly stubborn people have to learn it's okay to lean on each other. Enjoy! 💜

Nine Five people you'd like to know better

Tagged by @thana-topsy Hi lol 👋 wasn't expecting this (/lh)

[3 Ships]

1) Celann and Charlotte. (holding them in my hands) my babies. I love they

2) I'll honestly just put it out there, Chriscariot. That album rewired my brain. The absolute gay yearning. Did you guys know about the Gospel of Judas. I've been so normal on Tumblr. Not in real life. Not in the slightest. Bible fandom has some fun stuff

3) the Mo/Resa/Dustfinger/Roxanne polycule. I am correct.

[First Ship]

I actually think that's gonna have to be Zuko/Sokka. Except I was unaware of what shipping was at the time because I was young and offline. I did think they should go out tho.

[Last Song]

Funeral Derangements (Ice Nine Kills.) Honestly surprised it wasn't something off the Judas album

[Currently Reading]

Inkheart. Again. Yes I finished the series and turned right around and started it again. I did finish The man Born to be King last night tho. Haven't seen the original JCS but yeah. That Judas and 2012 Arena Tour Judas 🤝

[Last Film]

..... Highlander.... I caught a glimpse of it a while ago and there was this cunty old man. I immediately called Bread over and well. There was not as much of him in the film as we hoped. What did we watch (hello??? Plot??? Please???) That goth guy was having the time of his life tho honestly good for him. What a bizarre experience.

[Currently Craving]

The arrival of the books I ordered. I'm gonna be so real. I am so impatient for them to arrive. Even ignoring the fact that Mortimer (my darling little blue jay plush) is being shipped to God knows where (it's Rhode Island. I feel it in my bones that for some reason another package has been redirected to Rhode Island.) Other than that, uh... draw juice. Would like to draw thing

[Tags]

Gonna tag @argisthebulwark @fabeong @greeneyed-thestral @forpiratereasons and @snake-snack-stede my beloved mutuals 🌹 hi guys :)

I Don’t Trust The Inside Job Part 2 Finale

Appleton. What a heartbreaking glorious episode and such an amazing way to end Part 2. I cried <//3 But I’m delusional and I DO NOT ACCEPT IT !! AND HERE’S WHY

This face. This fucking face! THAT UGLY ASS FUCKING CONNIVING FACIAL EXPRESSION !! Throughout the season I was super on edge because every episode Alpha-Beta just kept getting more and more integrated into the everyday activities around the office. Everyone was just kind of comfortable having him around and helping and isn’t this supposed to be the genocidal maniac that, if given just a few seconds with an internet connection, can start world war 3?1?! I figured the writers were going for a semi-redemption arc. He’s still evil and silly but like he’s generally safe. Plus he still has that glass cage all around him, he can’t do much of anything with that frfr *cut to Rand lowering the glass cage for a fist fight* THE WAY I SCREAMED !! AND THE WAY NO ONE BROUGHT IT UP AFTERWARDS ?!?! AND IT STAYED FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON ?!?! Is no one worried that hey, he might be up to something?? Raegan was right to comment on how weirdly ungenocidal Alpha-Beta was in this scene, because what if he wasn’t? And the way she didn’t even check if Alpha-Beta’s work on connecting the multiverse timeline analyzer thingie to the simulation room was correct because she was so desperate for an immediate answer leaves me so concerned. My theory (delusions) is that once Alpha-Beta got unrestricted access to the internet, he either contacted or got contacted by the robes, to ensure that Raegan would make partner and enact her global domination plans with nothing to keep her down, distract her, or stand in her way. No Ron Stadler. What if those weren’t all the possible realities,,, what if in one reality they could have been happy but it would go against the robes’ plans,,,

And while I do agree that Ron and Reagan where going in different directions in life and that them breaking up makes so much sense. (Here’s a great post on that btw: https://at.tumblr.com/swanpyart/inside-job-part-2-spoilers-ron-and-reagan/euyben9u6xhk) The circumstances of their breakup leave me so,,, MAD. Not only because of the sussyness of Alpha-Beta. Not only because I saw it coming from episode 1 and was deluding myself throughout the last episode that a mind erasing scenario wouldn’t happen. But also because Raegan lied to Ron.   I can understand and appreciate the poetry in Ron erasing his own mind but the way Raegan didn’t talk to him about their potential futures together. The way she took away Ron’s autonomy in that moment to decide for himself what kind of future he wants. The way they didn’t talk through it and how Raegan would view her actions as selfless and for the greater good,,, THEY COULD HAVE WORKED I SWEAR IF ONLY THEY COMMUNICATED ABOUT IT OPENLY TO EACH OTHER EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE WORKED OUT WHAT ABOUT BIZLEASURE RAEGAN WHAT ABOUT BIZLE- *gets tranquilized and abducted by the deep state for being too delusional*

Fyodor: now, with thirteen years worth of history, no one will suspect anything

Sigma: 👉👈

Fyodor: is there anything you'd like to ask perhaps?

Sigma: could you also... alter my lower parts? please? 🧍

Fyodor: excuse me?

Sigma: a penis of my own. PERSONAL MONSTER COCK

Fyodor, full of regret: o Bozhe moy...

helloooooo ☁️🦷🌵for the ask game 🥰

miss tiff!!!!! i dedicate my body and soul to you <3

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

GOD i can never ever answer this question because im horrible at picking names for anything ever. originally dahliaes was gonna be “swaninthenight” because of the mazzy star album!! but i changed it bc….i didnt wanna be a swan. i picked dahliaes bc i was SURE i was gonna do an all pink theme but yk i love tje ocean

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

wear less makeup than you think you have to. you will look crusty and old with ten pounds of makeup on i promise

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

YES I CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THIS OMFGAJJSJDKS

okay link!!!!! this is my holy grail of music istg

thank you miss tiff ily 🫶🫶

But normal swear words are sooo boring, why use fuck when there's a perfectly silly heck available

raise a glass for my babygirl tamara bhatt, the specialest lizard there ever was

Some Fuckin Ninjago/Owl House Type Witch Fic

First off, it’s not actually an Owl House crossover with Ninjago (i’m sorry), but this was inspired by it. Also I don’t have everything fully fleshed out yet, so forgive me if somethings don’t make much sense.

SO BASICALLY. The ninja are messing around with traveler's tea, and some of them get stuck in a witch-y realm on a continent called Nidus and separated. Lloyd gets brought in by a witch named Aris Raven with a griffin curse that her family got because one of her ancestors fucked with the wrong person, got cursed, and it got passed down. She’s also trying to find her son old apprentice who disappeared around 3 years ago.

Kai and Zane end up with the mysterious emperor of the continent. No one’s ever seen them or heard them, no one even knows their name. Kai and Zane are suspicious, and that only increases when they find a kid named Mars (nicknamed Singe) in a hidden cell. They free him and run, hiding out in caves.

Cole winds up at a school as an assistant coach. He’s not used to all the magic students, but he was the leader at one point so can’t be that hard, right? Wrong. 

And Jay and Nya are trying to get them all back safely to Ninjago because the last time this type of thing happened, it went wrong.

That’s just the basics of it. I’ll go more in depth at some point. I’ll post some snippets here too if I feel like it.

it’s so crazy how so many of the myths that we know are actually so similar to how their peoples created the gods in the first place.

take the myth of erechtheus. he’s an ancient king of athens, and the star of one of euripides’ tragedies aptly called erectheus because euripides sure knew how to name stuff. the story’s one of the athenian founding myths, look it up when you can (really shows women’s role in athenian society, and could it be connected to the mysterious panathenaia festival??? more likely than you think), even though unfortunately only a fragment of the play remains. but! it does say that he was killed by poseidon and will forever been known as ‘sacred poseidon’ after the guy who killed him.

and i just think that demonstrates so well to depict how people used myths to mirror the real world, especially relating to the conflation of deities. it’s suspected that erechtheus was deity himself before the uniform ‘greek’ pantheon we now recognize steamrolled in, and it’s fascinating how the people used the myth of his death to merge their two deities. erechtheus takes on the name of the one who ‘killed’ him, quite literally showing how the previous deity takes on the name of the now dominant’s religion new deity. but he is stilled referred to erechtheus among athenian citizens during, like how the citizens know of his true nature and keep up ties to their old religion.

(religious syncretism is often seen with settler countries imposing their religions on the people they colonized. for an art history final exam, i found some really interesting connections between the andean earth goddess pachamamma and the virgin mary in art, and i argued that it was used to justify the extraction of solver at the mines of potosí. really interesting stuff!!)

anyway, erechtheus got his own temple called the erechtheion at the acropolis of athens, but it’s also linked to poseidon (obviously) and athena (also obviously). anyway, it’s got some cool caryatids (those female column statues) that you should check out because women pretty. they’re probably supposed to be some of erechtheus’ daughters.

Rememeber when I said we’d start having more tradicional art here? So, I decided my OC, Flare, has a pet snake. A pet rattlesnake!

Flare, her bestie Kerill and the snake

“Snek!” “Poison snek!” “Talk to the snake, bitch”

Flare shows her older sister the snake as her younger brother watches

“WHAT THE FUCK” “CAN WE KEEP IT??” (gaaasp)

Flare shows Kerill the new trick she taught the snake

“Kerill, I need to show you something!” “Avel, Scythe.” “Ssshit” (wooah)

(Cascavel (rattlesnake in portuguese) “I taught Avel curse words.”

“Fffuck” “Assss” “Ssshhit”

Is Shaun Nora's child? If so, does she view X6 as family due to his closeness to Father, or just as a friend?

shaun is nora's biological child, yep, and post-institute when asked she says she has two sons (referring to shaun and synth!shaun--but a minor plot point in my fic is that she doesn't tell anyone about synth!shaun being a synth. if pressed for details, she just says her eldest passed away recently and that typically shuts down any further questions).

oh, edited to add bc i don't think i was clear: she treats synth!shaun as a son too. she takes to him straightaway. he's still a child who views her as his mother, and she still wants to be a parent. they have a good relationship.

she does view x6 as family, but in a found-family sort of way that doesn't have anything to do with them sharing dna. she thinks shaun calling himself "father" is extremely--i think paternalistic is the right word, and she emphatically does not approve. she feels family is a lot more than genetic material, and so is parenthood, which relates back to her family situation mentioned here.

she and x6 grow close as they work together and kind of outside the bounds of father's knowledge. x6 is a smart guy and figures out nora's still working for the railroad, and for his own reasons keeps it to himself, and nora's aware that if she actually reported how snarky and independent x6 is, he'd be sent to reconditioning. so their relationship is tense for a while, but eventually grows genuine and very close.

i think outside of nick, x6 is the companion she's closest with by the end of things.

the problem with coming back to tumblr 200 years later is that mutuals have left or changed their URLs or even removed info that identified them 2 me and now i sit here seeing familiar names and im just like.... is that really u?

Can’t believe Taylor Swift wrote My Tears Ricochet about Geraskier/Jaskier