#it's just too hard and too painful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beskad · 11 months

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#maaaaaan i told my bf I'd go with him to his brother's house today for a few hours #it's mostly so the dogs can play together LOL #but like.....goddamn i do not want to go whatsoever #my anxiety skyrockets when i have to be around sibling groups (especially when they actually have fun together)#it's too hard for me #too painful #reminds me too much of what I've lost #even tho i don't like ACTUALLY want my siblings back in my life because they've all apparently sided with our batshit parents #it's still hard #i raised them #they were my kids #and they still chose our shitty parents over me in the end #because our parents are extremely talented and shameless abusers and the guilt and the shame and the bribery all worked in the end #i was the only one to get out #and I'm ok with thay most days #I'm holding up ok alone in the world #but having to see right in front of me what Could Have Been #it's just too hard and too painful #i don't want to be a flake.... I've flaked out the three previous times and my bf has gone alone to hang with his family #but god it's really hard for me #tbd

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rolybug · 4 months

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funny purple dog you get endless health issues

#character wise i see it as being kind of quietly pissed off most of the time from all the bullshit fuckery it has to deal with #hates being a messenger and just wants to go home to its creator for head pats and pain medication #dont look too hard at that ''skull'' it doesnt make much sense #rain world #rw spearmaster #art #2024 #not super satisfied with the way i drew it here i might iterate (lol) on it some more if i draw it again

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zarla-s · 11 months

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In playing a game, we bring its artificial borders weight. In creating something, we inhabit that world to bring it life.

I started Handplates during a really difficult time in my life... no matter what happened, no matter how much things felt like they were falling apart around me or I was going to lose my mind or it all was just too much to bear, there’d always be another Handplates comic to do. Like clockwork that alarm in my head would go off and I’d get to work on the next one, no matter what was happening. It was always, always there. It’s hard to believe it’s been over seven years... a few more months to eight.

By my estimates, the next comic will be the last one. It doesn’t seem real, and when it does, it just makes me sad to think about... but I guess Undertale itself was about that too. How hard it is to let go, and when it’s time to say goodbye...

(I made some long long phone calls to my friends at home And I told them where I’ve been and the places I’m going And they said, “Wow, that’s incredible, but we already know, Because of that long long song you wrote.” - [x] )

[index] [patreon] [comicfury]

#undertale #handplates #gaster #zar and friends #the human #z art #z comic #recreating my desk was a pain! this is only a fraction of the toys on it #it'd be way too busy to read otherwise #i'm not sure how easy it is to read right now as it is #everything on it is important #the rope was going to be a shining gold but then the contrast was WAY too high #i do love gaster's reaction to it just >;|#do you know how hard it is to draw someone with three fingers holding a pen #ugh the next one is going to be so long

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wistfullywaiting2 · 2 months

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The biggest misconception in the bsd fandom ever to me is people constantly portraying Atsushi as someone who trauma dumps excessively when he canonically barely talks about it at all.

The entire point is that Atsushi does not talk about his trauma he’s just constantly thinking about/reliving it. He can’t escape the memories of his past so he tries not to acknowledge them.

He only mentions it when asked, either directly or when someone asks him to explain himself.

Atsushi doesn’t even give a cohesive explanation for what he saw while under Dogra Magra, he just apologizes to Haruno and Naomi.

If Lucy hadn’t had her whole “you’ve never suffered the way I have” spiel then I doubt even the audience would’ve gotten to find out about his scars

If Akutagawa never asked him how it felt for the orphanage headmaster to die Atsushi would have never told him that he’s been hallucinating.

In the omake where Kyoka asks him why his hair is like that it’s clear he wouldn’t have told her that unless she had asked.

In 55 minutes Atsushi very briefly mentions sleeping on a dirty floor somewhere to Kunikida because he was trying to explain and justify his behavior.

And the thing is that there are scenes that implies that the other characters see Atsushi behaving strangely and are visibly confused because they do not understand what’s wrong with him.

Remember, we as an audience get to see things about characters that the main cast doesn’t. Just because we see into Atsushi’s mind doesn’t mean the other characters know what’s going on in there.

Also little footnote here that I think this is a reference to the moon over the mountain but I digress

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torrentialgoat-fr · 25 days

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Here's a weird pearlcatcher, they're called Irminsul and I love them very much

#flight rising #fr art #flight rising art #fr pearlcatcher #this one took longer to draw than seal snapper so that's fun :|#Backgrounds are painful dont look at it too hard I just went wild with a brush for 3 hours #spiky little guy <3

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bigfatbreak · 2 months

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Since Fu and his methods have been kinda debated on in this fandom, I've just making sure. Is Marinette over-positiving her memories with Fu since she blames herself for him getting mind-wiped or would he be really scold her on recklessness and taking care of herself?

former. grieving his memory wipe is making any kindness he did seem to gleam like precious stars in her memory, which is making it hit that much harder. she's definitely spiraling around losing him right now, and not seeing the reality that he chose child soldiers to fight a supervillain. he really might've scolded her for being reckless, but nowhere near as lovingly as she's imagining he would - she's putting positive words in his phantom mouth because his loss hurts her more than she's willing to communicate, and its become the cornerstone of her isolation.

#replies #she's HELLA catastrophizing too #just because she sounds even and cool headed doesn't mean she IS #she's just used to being cool headed in hard situations which makes her confidence seem like fact #she's delirious from exhaustion and pain and rn she's being put on the emotional hotspot #which ironically. was one of the sources of her and alya's big blowup argument lmao. it was bad timing and #calculations on lila's part

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wolvesandvisions · 10 months

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to anyone who draws and experiences wrist pain like I do i. I figured out the blindspot to solving the pain. maybe this is obvious but whatever. im honestly I'm frustrated at myself for not knowing sooner bcs I was an athlete for so long. but what always confused and frustrated me was that no matter how much i stretched the pain wasnt going away

people always linked n shared resources to stretches and it'd give me temporary relief but not deal with the issue especially not any longer than the time it took me to stretch.

u do have to stretch. but u ALSO HAVE TO WORK OUT YOUR ARMS.

the reason we are hurting so much is because that muscle is doing a lot of repetitive and strenuous motion but the whole length of your arms and wrists aren't strong enough to withstand that much work.

u cant just stretch. buy a set of light-ish weights and just pick a set of wrist and arm workouts u like. do them often. stretch and do those work outs. i really dont even think it matters which you do I do a combination of this and this

just pick ones u like that are good for you, working out can be fun and not miserable i promise. do it. save ur wrists. my life has changed, i still feel pain but ive been able to work and not be ready to cry the next day from daring to try

#wolf txt.#rsi #rsi injuries #if anyone else has tips or favorite workouts share them #like i mentioned i was already an athlete so i am also reverting to some old warm ups i did to help with my back pain too #i played softball #n my thing always was that my arms were weak but my legs did a lot of work #i think i convinced myself that bcs my body wasnt withstanding muscle needed to hit a ball far #trying to push myself to work on my arms too hard was going to create more problems #THE OPPOSITE!!#I JUST NEEDED TO PACE MYSELF N TAKE IT SLOW!!#AAA

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oseike · 8 months

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"This person, who not so long ago searched for herbs with me so earnestly....

"It's too sudden. There's so much everyone wants to say, wants to hear.

"If only he could open his eyes one more time..."

If funerals are for the living, what of one's final moments? For whom do they exist? Is it okay to force wakefulness one more time, even if it should cause pain?

EDIT: @keidokusha has translated this to Vietnamese:

Many thanks to them!

#orv #orv spoilers #lee seolhwa #there really isnt much about her written originally or in fanart that I've seen #i would imagine as his state becomes more precarious the usual drugs or methods don't work on him as well #and some substances might not be available anymore #so this is lsh testing out something that might wake him up #she does it at night so no one else is around just in case the result is bad #the party shouldnt see him in danger or in pain #but that also includes lsh too #her own helplessness in the face of kdj's situation must be crushing #to see the party expecting her to save him and not be able to answer those hopes #she's supposed to be the best!!#between her and aileen what problem could they not fix?#and when she fails the party can walk away but she must stay and watch him disintegrate #i feel that would have some hard repercussions on a person #oseiart #vietnamese translation

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kittyandco · 3 months

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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do

#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them #i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard #it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him #no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved #they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows #i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that #no one does #and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER #he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh #hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him #anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now #self ship

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s0fter-sin · 1 month

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soapghost circus au

ghost’s an extreme motorcycle stunt performer - globe of death, riding on his back wheel along tightropes, that sort of thing

soap’s a fire breather/dancer. he’s a roaming performer; he just finds empty spaces or bored people and starts twirling

he pretends not to notice the way he always wanders towards a certain tent every night to watch a certain masked daredevil defy gravity. he thinks he's slick and that ghost won't notice him in the crowd, completely forgetting that he's carrying something that happens to be on fire

ghost couldn't miss him if he tried

one day off, soap's trialing fire whips; he loves the loud crack and the way the flame licks through the air and maybe he's a little too impatient to practice with non flaming whips first, even though he's never used one before

he's covered in soot and fine welts where the tip of the whip keeps flicking back up at him, cutting through his shirt and stinging his skin but he doesn't let that stop him. it starts to stick to him, damp with sweat and blood and he's quick to strip it off; throwing it to the side to keep practicing

when soap finally gets a few good cracks in a row and breaks to celebrate, he almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the masked rider leaning against a trailer watching him

of all the times he's wanted ghost to talk to him, this is not one of them

he wanted to impress him, dance for him with his flaming batons and be mesmerised by his fluidity and skill

not catch him filthy and struggling with something as basic as a whip

he's ready for ghost to ream him out for not having control over the whip - he's known throughout the circuit for expecting utter perfection in his routines - but when ghost finally does speak, it's only to ask if he's done for the day

soap falters for a moment. he wanted to get some consistency with the whip before he stopped, but he's starting to feel the hours of practice; muscles aching and skin blistered with minor burns

he says he is and ghost pushes off the trailer, nodding his head to make soap follow. he brings him back to his trailer and tells him to clean up then takes out his personal med kit to treat the grazes on soap's skin

soap's shocked; for all that he loves to watch ghost perform, they've never really talked before

part of why he joined the circus was so he wouldn't be a burden on anyone, the oldest in a family with too many mouths to feed and not even time to nurture, and here he is taking up ghost's valuable practice time be he wasn't good enough to handle his own discipline. he tries to brush him off, downplaying the burns and tries to leave before half them can be treated but ghost just glares and orders him to sit back down

ghost does expect perfection from himself but it isn’t out of any malice or ego; it's bc he knows if he isn't perfect, he could very easily die. he’s picked a dangerous profession and he gives it the respect it deserves. there isn't any shame in being a novice or failing at something; he thinks there's a lot of beauty in having the courage to get back up again and again

so every day he watches soap practice and bullies him into his trailer to put him back together bc he knows he won't do it by himself

and every night soap wanders over to ghost's section of the fair grounds, in awe of his skill and wishing he could be worthy of the care he gives him