Marvel Super Hero Adventures: Frost Fight
I tried to get Thor: Tales of Asgard on one of my streaming sites, but it's unavailable (Google's a liar). But I did find this ridiculous Christmas special, and Christmas starts November 1 for me, so I'm gonna watch this and report back. My screenshots are not great quality, apologies in advance.
Spoilers for Marvel Super Hero Adventures: Frost Fight!
I hope I get some Frostiron fodder from this because I'm a fucking fool. [EDIT: I did not. :( ]
Oh fuck I forgot Thor is voiced by Travis Willingham
MATT MERCER IS CAP HOLY FUCK
Fuck hang on now I'm sidetracked by the voice actors. Okay, I just recognized Ironman because he always voices him. Captain Marvel was Delilah Blackwood in Vox Machina!!! Why are there so many Critical Role voice actors in here??!! And Loki is ALSO in Vox Machina what is happening?? The Avengers to Vox Machina/Critical Role pipeline is fucking bewildering y'all.
Reptil, why are you in civilian clothes?? The only hero stuff he has are his wings and I know nothing about him so I can't tell if they're organic or technical but either way they are the thinnest wings I've ever fucking seen. Listen to Cap and stay out of this. Your mentors couldn't even be bothered to suit you up as a precaution.
Who took the time to cross off "on duty"?? Was it Tony? I bet it was Tony.
Yes!!! My boi my love my darling is heeeeeeerrrrrreeeeeee!!!!!! (Caption by me, obvs)
Reptil, you don't have any armor!!!
Loki just called Reptil, "childasaurus" which was not funny at all but I definitely laughed because I'm fucked.
Oh no (not in a shipping way). I'm in tremendous danger of rooting for Loki throughout this movie.
"I'm trying to remember all the positives of a big hole in the sky. Nope. There are none." TONY STARK I'M CRYING.
CAPSICLE!!!
He. He just. I am not kidding, Cap just defeated the frost giant by kicking a shard of ice UP ITS ASS. LITERALLY cause of death: pegged too hard by Captain America. I can't even.
So Reptil gets hit in the head by the frost giant while trying to outfly the vortex caused by the portal. He gets knocked out, the frost giant goes into the portal, and the portal closes. And then IRONMAN TRIES TO YELL AT HIM TO WAKE HIM UP. YOU'VE GOT THOR WHO CAN FLY WITH MJOLNIR, STARK WHO CAN FLY, AND CAPTAIN MARVEL WHO CAN FLY all there on the beach, and NOT A ONE thinks to fly to his rescue. Hulk yells at him and he wakes up. What is this movie??
Ymir get off Loki's throne, you upstart!
Santa is part elf and part frost giant??!!
"Santa Claus is beloved, celebrated. Songs are sung in his name." Loki, I'll write a song for you.
Please I need just ONE episode of Loki where Tom Hiddleston has to say "The hunt is on for Santa Claus." Just one. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard come out of Loki's mouth. [We've gotten a Guardians Christmas special; gimme a Loki Christmas special, Marvel, I'm fucking begging you.]
Can we get this boy [Reptil] some other pants? These sweats are why he's tripping so much.
TONY why are you still in the suit while it's being washed? THIS DOESN'T COUNT AS A SHOWER.
"Hulk that's not shampoo." WAS IT REALLY FOOT CREAM TONY OR IS IT JUST THE PG ANSWER?
ROCKET FUCK YES SECOND FAVORITE SUPERHERO MY LOVE
Damn Loki's discovered outsourcing.
REPTIL SITTING ON HULK'S SHOULDERS IS SO CUTE
Loki: *puts a massive bounty on Santa's head and frames him for multiple crimes*
Thor: 'Tis merely a funny jest! My brother loves his pranks. Have I told you about the time he stabbed me?
"It isn't impossible if you believe." Reptil do not turn this into The True Meaning of Christmas: The Movie.
Okay I'll take some stony shit if we don't get frostiron.
Reptil aren't you a little... old to still believe in Santa?
Why does Santa live on the Candyland game board?
If this movie doesn't end with the Avengers and Loki exchanging presents around the Christmas tree because The True Meaning of Christmas led a LITERAL NORSE GOD to set aside his villainy for the day in the name of kindness and generosity and Christian cheer, I'm going to be sorely disappointed.
TONY MEETING THE ELVES AND IMMEDIATELY LAYING INTO THE MICRO AGGRESSIONS, JESUS
Yeah why didn't you bring Thor? He wouldn't have been racist--actually I watched Thor 1, he absolutely would have.
"Time to separate the boys from the other boys." Captain Marvel I love you.
"Okay this is why I love it. You've heard of Santa, right?" HULK HE'S CENTRAL TO THE FUCKING PLOT, MAN
Reptil, aren't you cold in that t-shirt? Are you able to regulate your body heat?
Why is Loki's only power this damn scepter? Marvel, Stop De-powering Your Cunning God with a Talent for Magic Challenge
Why is Mount Jolly the only name you're using the English sound for the letter J with? Shouldn't it be Mount "Yolly"?
Is Loki's heart gonna grow three sizes? I hope so
"Go easy. We're on the same side." CAP you THREW A SHIELD at them. FIRST.
The b-plot is Thor and Hulk encouraging a random shop owner named Nick to steal Santa's identity (but like, the plot twist is 100% gonna be that he's pulling a Miracle on 34th Street and Nicky Boy is actually Santa).
"The greater the youth, the greater the truth." I CANNOT believe we've reduced (ha. reduced) the light elves to fucking Santa's helpers.
"Evil doesn't observe holidays." CAP. First of all, LAME. Second of all, Loki isn't evil. Third of all, IT'S BECAUSE LOKI ISN'T CHRISTIAN.
Okay so now that they're in the Arctic, Reptil is cold. Why wasn't he cold in the ice cave on Alfheim?
Cap just like waltzed into Santa's house. I don't think he even knocked.
Mrs. Claus drives like a Floridian retiree and she's almost given Rocket a heart attack twice
NOW THE AVENGERS ARE DRINKING SANTA'S COCOA WHEN HE'S NOT THERE
Cap has the SADDEST Christmas story ever.
I spoke too soon. Tony's is the saddest. Obviously he's in the "seeing is believing" camp.
ILLUSION MAGIC FINALLY
I have my new phone background.
I'M DYING. Loki's got Reptil and is holding the scepter to his head. And Cap is like, "You won't do it" and Loki's like, "Yes, I will!" And Thor's like, "End this madness, brother" and Loki's like, "Oh, I'm about to!" And THEN Reptil JUST! slips out under Loki's arm!! He wasn't even holding the kid that hard!!! I'M CACKLING
LISTEN. I've seen pandaredd's video about Santa. I know he's OP as all hell. I FORGOT. He just showed up and Loki fired magic (from the scepter AGAIN) at him. And he barely moved at all! He just swiped the magic away with the back of his hand like he was SHOOING A FLY. WHAT THE HELL
Loki: *gasps* You can control space-time.
Santa: And you can be nice, Loki.
I'M LOSING IT I'M CACKLING SO HARD I'M GOING TO LOSE MY VOICE.
SANTA PLEASE SAY HE NEEDS TO GO HOME AND WRITE "I am very sorry for what I did to the Avengers" a hundred zillion times.
"The power of Santa Claus, all mine!" NEVER thought I'd hear a Loki say that
So far everything he's done with Santa's power he was already able to do. Use your imagination Loki, c'mon!
We packed the cheesy, obligatory Christmas movie lines into the last ten minutes.
Oh, and Groot turned into a fir tree somehow.
I should have saved this as a Christmas post.
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