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acutecoral · 6 months

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I have no brain for prose at the moment, because I don't think I've watched enough Cellbit to really get his mannerisms right but just a concept in my head at the moment like

Cellbit has had the urge to relapse back to what felt natural, to resort of violence, to killing. Now not in service of himself, but for the people he cares about.

His hold over those urges was admirable, but it was always bound to snap.

It started with Felps. His friend. Lost to the Federation's grasp. I'd imagine ignoring the urge was...easy then, at least with the initial idea. He had a plan, he directed his focus to infiltrating, to misleading and convincing Cucurucho that he could be trusted. It was hard. Here on the island, he had found a family, friends, people he knew and grown to care about. To push them away, and mislead them must have felt awful. Back in the war, things weren't as complicated but he wanted to do something different. He can be different.

I imagine when it failed, when he was taken back and captured, maybe there was that voice at the back of his mind. "This would have been easier if..."

But it was a constant companion for many years, and he's had practice pushing it down and refocusing his energy to other things.

Like his family, his son, the Eggs, his friends, the Order, Roier, their wedding, the campaign for the presidency. There was a lot to do, so much that needed his attention it would have been easy to just focus on the next thing and pretend that those darker thoughts wasn't there.

Then the Eggs disappeared. His son was gone, the other Eggs were gone, and no one knew what had happened. Everyone was searching for answers and they barely had the pieces to put things together. But the Federation must have been behind it, they took the Eggs last time, it was the only answer.

Then Forever was forced to take the risus potion, forced to become a twisted parody of himself that Cellbit couldn't get through to. Forced to pretend everything was okay.

And Pac...Pac whom Cellbit had seen sink to despair since Mike was lost and now pushed even further now that Richas was missing. Pac was still determined, still so willing to sacrifice himself for the smallest chance to figure out what was affecting their friend, their family and find a way to cure him.

How Cellbit must have felt the strongest urge to tear the entire Federation down to the ground, when he found himself between Forever and Pac on that bench. How difficult that must have been to ignore and push past, because he couldn't indulge in it. He had to hold strong, he had to bring them back to reality, to come back to him.

But seeing Pac whimpering, huddled and trapped and so small, so afraid in that cage...then listening to Forever's screams, directed at the memory of Cucurucho in Cellbit's place, a play by play of what led him to be drugged in the first place, how those darker urges must have reared it's head up. Did Cellbit wish he did what Forever did? Even knowing where it led? That urge to let loose, to direct his anger at something, at someone who must have knew all the answers, who were obviously playing them for fools again, who was hurting his family so deeply once more, forcing those he cared about to this state.

It must have led to sleepless nights. Frustration and anger. He must have been so tired.

An exhaustion that everyone on the island felt, but especially...Roier. His huband.

Cellbit would have never forgotten the way the Federation played with Roier and Jaiden's hopes with Bobby's life. Dashing them when they were only granted 10 minutes with their child instead of giving him back.

And now the Eggs have been ripped away again. Roier's sister was taken. Roier's son in law was gone, and for someone that already lost someone he felt responsible for, Cellbit must have seen the heavy toll it took on Roier. The dark eye bags, the way he tries to busy himself, the way that he accepted the Eggs must be dead because he can't take another heartbreak. He can't handle to have that hope they're alive dashed again. Again. Again.

Then...Bagi. That was the last straw. The one that broke the camel's back. The revelation he had a peaceful life before. He was loved, he was safe, he had a family, he had a sister...He had a past before the war, he had come from somewhere, and he was ripped away from it, those memories lost, drowned with the memory of blood and violence and survival.

Cellbit had spent so long treading water, keeping his head up, but no more. No longer. He can't afford to. He had tried playing by the bear's rules, he had tried going about it another way, but clearly it wasn't working.

It was time for a change of tactic.

...

Did killing that first worker feel like relief? Did he surprise himself with how easy it was to slip back into those old habits he had spent so long to ignore? How easy to must have been to watch, to stalk, to wait...before going for the kill?

But maybe he can tell there's a difference here now. Just a little.

These skills were ones he learned to survive. Taught by a dear, old friend. And it served him well, but now he's stepping back into the shoes of the monster, not for himself no. But for the people he loves. The people he knows have been hurt. He's doing it for them.

He will burn down the Federation even if he has to use his own body for the kindling.

#qsmp cellbit #qsmp pactw #qsmp foreverplayer #qsmp oibagi #qsmp roier #qsmp #acuteliveblogs #i have been rotating his frame of mind the entire day #it's been WILD #but it's so much fun #this isn’t really prose but i had to get these thoughts out there you know?#I'm enjoying the meal a lot #i just really like compelling characters

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the-horrors-in-pink · 10 months

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been replaying fe3h on blue lions and it's honestly impressive how quickly daddy issue can evolve into commiting unforgivable war crimes

#fire emblem #fe3h #fe3h fanart #fire emblem three houses #fe3h annette #ashe fe3h #felix fe3h #i'm replaying at the same time as my brother #it's been wild #istg i'm doomed to play games that came out a couple years ago #even when there's new installations #anyways these three are my favorites

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werewolf4vampire · 4 days

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are you watching Spookies?????

YES lmaoo

#i've never seen it before and just needed to throw something on to watch while folding laundry lmao #it's been wild #i haven't finished it yet bc i started watching a livestream but i'll probably finish it later!#asks #lore-seekervera

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libroseitm · 5 months

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Well shit it's been 7 years

Me 7 years ago: Me now:

.Devote Mormon .Not religious at all

.Newly Married .Has a school aged child

.Reads Drarry, feels ashamed .Writes Drarry smut

.Woman?? Maybe?? .Agender, phew

.Pan but supressing it .Out as pan to my partner

.Stimming? What? .Stims to emotionally regulate

.Trapped .Free

#back on this site after all these years #exmormon #I've changed #It's been wild #drarry #agender #pansexual

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zels-echoes · 6 months

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*Slaps roof of the last 3 months*

This baby can fit so much Norse influence in your favorite shows.

#It's been WILD #Ahsoka #Loki #Attack on Titan #they all involve trying to break cycles/loops too #and worlds outside of time and space

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bean-chaointe · 1 year

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During a break in the storm.

Santa Cruz, California (1/5/23)

#california #santa cruz #it's been wild #capitola and carmel are flooded and being evacuated #a few piers have been taken out #natural bridges state park has lost one of its cliffsides #the local reports are saying ocean swells are 20-30 feet higher than usual #meanwhile those of us up in the mountains are hunkering down with camp stoves and lanterns #crossing our fingers that a tree doesn't fall and take out the cabin #i'm sure some folks out there are like 'ugh californians are overreacting' but like #we haven't had rain like this since 1847 #we don't have the infrastructure and also we've been in a drought for...idk like over a decade?#we desperately need this rain but oof it's gonna be a time and a half in the process #also our wildfires in the last few years have been so bad that whole swathes of land are still burnscars #which means no vegetation to hold the ground together #when you pair that with sudden heavy rain you get debris flows which can swallow roads and houses #so like...it's A Lot of different things. not 'just' rain.

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giftofclasspects · 5 months

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hiya! i'll totally get to requests soon! it's heading towards exam week at my school, so i'm tying up any loose ends there!

#also it was my birthday weekend #it's been wild

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martynsimp69 · 1 year

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voted for ur little tv guy for u. sorry he’s gonna die.

thank u so much he was doomed from the start by virtue of being a joke nomination with no brand name recognition but MY GOD if the power of friendship and having a pretty good mc skin didn't get me a third of the votes anyways

#anon #ask #saintsweep #it's been WILD #i don't even care that i'm gonna lose this has been an incredible journey anyways u have no idea how grateful and baffled i am

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matadorofheart · 1 year

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nu:c event spoilers

if ur wondering how things are going we got our first content warning ever (aside from the general 18+ disclaimer) and it was vague as hell

apparently "extreme behavior" means cult shit, ritual animal sacrifice, and violent orgies for god

#IT'S BEEN WILD #kinda glad we don't get a lot of visuals #just floating pngs #ness talks

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the-shy-artisan · 10 months

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couple of interesting interactions i had at work today:

one gentleman grabbed my hand to get my attention as i walked by. i asked him why his hands were so cold. his response? “i’m dead.” so i countered: “if you’re dead, how are you talking to me?” he replied: “i’m a zombie.”

different gentleman, i was seated next to him during our entertainment. at one point he grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye, and said: “if anyone ever bothers you, i’ll punch him in the balls.”

needless to say, i had a hard time keeping my composure today lmaooo

#paige chatter #i could write a book about all the stuff i've heard over the years i've worked at the nursing home lmao #it's been wild

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badoccultadvice · 2 years

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I'm worried about whether this one guy can see where he's going.

#elizabeth ii funeral #i have been watching this one guy with his hat way over his eyes #since back before her body was in the hearse #it's been wild #is he a telepath

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month

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Must be a Sugondese joke.

#dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #laios touden #senshi #Looks like I won't be able to post this on dungeon meshi thursday so instead I will have a fun past/future conversation #This is wednesday me who has not seen the episode yet but I have such a strong feeling that it is going to be extremely special.#*This* fight is what the first arc has been building up to and it has *so* many incredible moments.#We're going to see the chilchuck knife throw! The leg sacrifice! The bones!#Watch them ramp up the quality this episode and go wild with the frantic action of 'oh god our plan is going to shit'.#Hello. Me of the future who just watched the episode.#I knew it was going to be good but that...that blew my mind completely. My high expectations were beyond met. My god.#I'm just speechless at how well they handled everything. The leg. The tension. That ENDING.#If you have not already: PLEASE watch Dungeon Meshi.

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fandom-trash-goblin · 2 months

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i beg you to love me, say that i'm enough, but you tell me— why are you like this? i think there's something wrong with you.

for @shestrying

thanks to @acelania for finding the unknowns!

in image / desperation sits heavy on my tongue, tumblr user tullipsink / mary oliver, ‘north country’ / virginia woolf, letter to violet dickinson / in image / blythe baird, from if my body could speak / Alice in Bed: A Play' by Susan Sontag (link in comment) / lynee rae perkins, criss cross / elena ferrante, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay' (trans. Ann Goldstein) / rainer maria rilke, from rilke’s book of hours / in image/ in image

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girlashfur · 5 months

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my dealer : got you some straight gas here ⛽🔥😜 this new strain is called "into the wild". you'll be zonked out of your gourd

me : yeah whatever. i don't feel shit.

5 minutes later : dude i swear i just saw a kittypet near the border

my buddy : [pacing around the camp] tigerclaw is lying to us

#ashie rambles #has this joke been made before #cw weed #tw weed #warrior cats #warriors #waca #into the wild

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hinamie · 12 days

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surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

#my art #yuri on ice #yuri!!! on ice #yoi #fanart #katsuki yuuri #victor nikiforov #victuuri #yoi fanart #this was the secret 4th thing that lost the poll jdsfgsdfjj #id been thinking about doing a tribute since getting that one ask but i didn't anticipate how Into it i would get once i started #the way i flew through this piece .. just over 1 day??? insane #yuri is /that/ ingrained in my muscle memory #I was looking at refs and ?? id forgotten how wild this show was #we just got all of that?? a pole dance a proposal a kiss a pair skate....and it was ALL canon? incredible #AND YEAH UNPROMPTED HISTORY MAKER PLAYS IN MY YT MIX #dean fujioka jumpscare #also looking back at my old yoi pieces was so wild. that ws really 8 years ago huh.#little bit of an ego boost looking at how far ive come #but also im just grateful idk sry 2 b sappy on main #i hope 16 year old me is happy that i did this bc im happy i did this #edit bc i forgot a bunch of white outline i am a fraud

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thistlecrimes · 5 months

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Things I've learned from getting covid for the first time in 2023

I wear an N95 in public spaces and I've managed to dodge it for a long time, but I finally got covid for the first time (to my knowledge) in mid-late November 2023. It was a weird experience especially because I feel like it used to be something everyone was talking about and sharing info on, so getting it for the first time now (when people generally seem averse to talking about covid) I found I needed to seek out a lot of info because I wasn't sure what to do. I put so much effort into prevention, I knew less about what to do when you have it. I'm experiencing a rebound right now so I'm currently isolating. So, I'm making a post in the hopes that if you get covid (it's pretty goddamn hard to avoid right now) this info will be helpful for you. It's a couple things I already knew and several things I learned. One part of it is based on my experience in Minnesota but some other states may have similar programs.

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The World Health Organization states you should isolate for 10 days from first having symptoms plus 3 days after the end of symptoms.

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At the time of my writing this post, in Minnesota, we have a test to treat program where you can call, report the result of your rapid test (no photo necessary) and be prescribed paxlovid over the phone to pick up from your pharmacy or have delivered to you. It is free and you do not need to have insurance. I found it by googling "Minnesota Test to Treat Covid"

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Paxlovid decreases the risk of hospitalization and death, but it's also been shown to decrease the risk of Long Covid. Long Covid can occur even from mild or asymptomatic infections.

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Covid rebound commonly occurs 2-8 days after apparent recovery. While many people associate Paxlovid with covid rebound, researchers say there is no strong evidence that Paxlovid causes covid rebound, and rebounds occur in infections that were not treated with Paxlovid as well. I knew rebounds could happen but did not know it could take 8 days. I had mine on day 7 and was completely surprised by it.

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If you start experiencing new symptoms or test positive again, the CDC states that you should start your isolation period again at day zero. Covid rebound is still contagious. Personally I'd suggest wearing a high quality respirator around folks for an additional 8-9 days after you start to test negative in case of a rebound.

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Positive results on a rapid test can be very faint, but even a very faint line is positive result. Make sure to look at your rapid test result under strong lighting. Also, false negatives are not uncommon. If you have symptoms but test negative taking multiple tests and trying different brands if you have them are not bad ideas. My ihealth tests picked up my covid, my binax now tests did not.

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EDIT: I'd highly suggest spending time with friends online if you can, I previously had a link to the NAMI warmline directory in this post but I've since been informed that NAMI is very much funded by pharmaceutical companies and lobbies for policies that take autonomy away from disabled folks, so I've taken that off of here! Sorry, I had no idea, the People's CDC listed them as a resource so I just assumed they were legit! Feel free to reply/reblog this with other warmlines/support resources if you know of them! And please reblog this version!

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I know that there is so much we can't control as individuals right now, and that's frightening. All we can do is try our best to reduce harm and to care for each other. I hope this info will be able to help folks.

#covid #covid 19 #harm reduction #apparently only 16% of Americans even got their booster #it's wild out there #which makes sense because our public health messaging has been super unhelpful and intentionally shifted the burden #of infection control onto individuals to avoid us holding them accountable because it's politically and economically inconvenient to them

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