#it's a bad brain day folks
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i was playing around in cas and made some nelle’s from alternate universes
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'im doing so well! I'm never happy or motivated in January!'
I was soon to realize the folly of this hubris however....
#Was it mild mania?? who knows!!!#i cried at work this morning!!!#its ok I still am gonna be the buff gnc butch of my dreams#but like the shine of mania has worn off#and now im just kinda tired and my head hurts and my heart hurts and im weepy#i hate being weepy but i am fundamentally a weepy person#spotify. play mistki abbey on repeat. 🤡#gonna workout and then embroider when i get home. and pretend i do not feel like a fake non person :))))#u know its bad bc i am no longer hungry. i always stop feeling hungry when the mania fades#tmi ngl folks but i think i probablt have pmdd on top of all my other brain shit#bc its like my prozac just. stops working. i could just not be taking it for a few days every month#ONCE AGAIN. ANOTHER REASON I DONT NEED OR WANT THIS SHIT. FUCK THE GENDER OF IT FR#the duality of Fran
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Stupid brain stuff below the read more
A job application shouldn’t make you feel like you want to die, right?
#wonky brain stuff#cw suicidal ideation#don’t worry folks I’m not going to do anything stupid#just having a very bad day
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What is your favourite thing about nevermoor (series)?
Omg this is suuuuuch a hard question for me to answer!!! I love basically every aspect of the series, from the characters and their dynamics, to the settings, to the story...... idk if I can truly give One Singular Answer to this because I love it all! There's something truly special with the series that really makes it resonate with me and has kept me glued to it for almost 5 years and will keep me into it for many more.
IF I had to choose One Thing to answer this....... I would probably say the lore of the series and the magic and the way that the worldbuilding relates to those and fleshes out the world, giving it a history that makes Nevermoor (the city and the series) feel full of so much depth. You really get a sense that things, both big and small, happened in the past that affect the present day, and that things in the present day will have an effect on the future. It makes it fascinating to think about how the world was Pre-Massacre, and how things have changed in the last 100 years since then, and why things were the way they were and are the way they are now! I love thinking about Wundersmiths and their role in society and their rise and eventual downfall!!! Ahhhh!!!!! There's just so much I could say.
I just love everything about the worldbuilding and the lore and in-world history Jess has created. You can tell as you read that literally every aspect of the world has so much thought behind it that probably only exists inside Jess's head, but it oozes through the pages anyways and makes the world seem so full of life. I swear once she mentioned possibly releasing some sort of “rule book” / notebook companion book sort thing that explains a lot of behind the scenes lore and how the world and everything works, why stuff is the way it is, etc. after the series and I hope that happens because I can't stop thinking about it.
A silly comparison: I don't really know how to explain it to those unfamiliar with the 2000s guide books, but the worldbuilding of Nevermoor kinda reminds me of the worldbuilding of Uglydolls (no relation to the terrible 2019 movie) and I think maybe that’s partially why I love it so much lmao. Everything was so wacky and weird yet somehow it made sense. I remember reading the books and looking at the spreads of the city or the pictures of the weird vehicles and thinking about where I'd like to go and what I'd do if I lived in that universe LOL. It just felt full of life and for some reason reading Nevermoor reminds me of reading those as a kid.
Also: I've said this before (but maybe not on here?) that I credit a big part of why I'm SO into Nevermoor to the fact that I discovered it like a month or so before Adventure Time ended. I was a HUGE fan of the show (always will be!) and was really into analyzing it and theorizing about it and knew so much about it. I read Nevermoor independent of that, but I think the fact that Wundersmith releasing like a month or two after Adventure Time ended and it being the first new interest I had had in awhile just made my brain "transfer over" as I like to say. The energy I bring to overanalyzing and theorizing about Nevermoor stuff comes directly from how I was when Adventure Time was still airing.
Fun fact: My media overanalyzing led to me correctly guessing how Adventure Time would end, and I am eager to try and do the same with Nevermoor as the series continues.
#nevermoor#asks#idk if any of this makes sense bc the moment I try to talk abt my love for nevermoor I black out and can't articulate correctly#so sorry to anyone thats ever dealt w me gushing abt it both irl and online. it makes me go insane. my brain has been rewired. etc.#does anyone else love using readmores all the time or is it just me#my nevermoor thoughts always turn into nonsense rambles and I feel bad abt big blocks of that so I like giving folks an option to read lol#I just loooove nevermoor so much and theres something so special about it that makes me wish more people paid attention to it#it deserves to reach the same heights as stuff like HP (boo) + PJO (woohoo) and etc. bc I think it appeals to both young + old the same way#I love talking abt nevermoor so much even if half of what I say is nonsense bc of how much I love it. so thanks for asking me abt it.#always open to talking abt nevermoor all hours of the day. its on my mind 24/7 and i'm not rly complaining too much abt that lol
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This fucking thing. You have no idea.
About two months ago, I took this thing into work. When I was done with it, I brought it back home and put it away… kind of.
See, "taking it to work" involved:
remembering I owned it in the first place
remembering I needed it at work once I was back home
remembering to put it in my bag to bring to work
remembering to bring it out of the bag to use at work
actually using the damn thing
remembering to put it back in my bag to bring home
remembering to take it out of my bag once I got home, and
putting it back where it belonged
Where it belongs is in a tool bag on a shelf above our dryer. The shelf is slightly above eye level, and the tool bag sits near the back where I need to reach a bit to get it. The tool bag location makes sense, because it’s something I use often enough that I want it visible, but not so often that I want it in the way of other things. That, of course, means that it's mildly annoying to get to.
So over the course of about a week I managed to get through steps 1-7, but when it came to step 8 (putting it away properly), well… I was tired. I had a lot of other things on my mind. So I put it on the shelf near the tool bag, because taking the tool bag out added five more steps to the process (take bag, place on surface, unzip bag, place screwdriver in bag, zip bag up, return bag to shelf vs put screwdriver on shelf) and I just couldn’t right then.
And so it sat there. For like two months. And every time I saw it I’d think, “Right, I should put that away,” and every time I couldn’t, because Too Much. And now, on top of the task itself, there was the Emotional Context of it sitting there, weighing on me. It had become the Screwdriver of Bad Feelings. Every time I noticed it while doing the laundry, I would feel ever so slightly like shit for not just putting it away already it will literally take fifteen seconds, but it never bothered me enough in the moment to flip the switch in my brain and force me to do something about it.
Until today. Today, I got out a different screwdriver from the tool bag for a different task. When I was done, I :
put away that screwdriver
put the tool bag back
noticed the Screwdriver of Bad Feelings was still there
took the tool bag back down
unzipped it again
put the Bad Feelings screwdriver in the bag,
zipped the bag back up, and
continued on to the next task.
Like it was easy. Like it was nothing. Because today, it was.
What was so special about today? Ritalin. That’s it. That’s all.
Don’t ever let anyone fucking tell you that ADHD isn’t real, that executive dysfunction isn’t a real disability. Because without something extra (high levels of stress, pressure, anxiety… or meds) to make my brain do the thing? I cannot do the thing. I am unable. If that's not the definition of disability, I don't know what is.
#personal#long post#adhd#ok to rb#for MONTHS i could not do this simple day-to-day task#i wanted to! i knew how! i was physically capable! but i *could not do it*#if i could have i would have!#the 'why' was different but the outcome was the exact same as if my arms weren't able to lift or my hands to grasp the zipper and pull#it will forever make me angry that the healthier solution - at least for me - is SO SIMPLE and yet it is so hard to access#because fucking neurotypical folks might abuse the meds that make my brain work#in order to give themselves an edge WHEN THEY'RE ALREADY PLAYING ON EASY MODE#and like. i always feel vaguely bad complaining about this because i don't even have it that bad#my husband's adhd is noticeably more disabling than mine#i have worked with kids whose attention spans could be measured in seconds#whose ability levels dropped at least three grade levels on bad days and who could barely stand to live inside their own brains#and that was never me#but honestly that just makes me ANGRIER#because if i'm dealing with *this* then HOW MUCH WORSE IS IT FOR THEM
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frankie & who????
#“ ⍀ face. « i’ll be honest / we’re all liars.#( OOOOOOOH U WANNA TAKE HER FLYING SO BAD )#( you could tell her your shit is going down and she starts singing like riff raff in that one vine )#( frankie the second there's a lil bumpy patch on ANY plane: WOW. that was a big one! )#( she should have been a flight attendant )#( part of her is that she has an IMMENSE ability to compartmentalize any sort of negative feeling )#( or ig i should say perceived negative feeling because it could be a useful feeling sometimes like )#( is there a fight flight freeze fourth option? )#( dissociate??? Lmao idk )#( frankie is a good man in a storm and i will preach that until the day i die or she's dies which comes first ig lol )#( anyway! She likes to fly and she likes turbulence and will hold your hand if you're scared and buy you a drink )#( her doing x*nax and at*van definitely doesn't help her be reactionary but- ya know lol )#( sorry this is all I've got tonight folks my brain is poorly but it'll get better!#( sending y'all love and vibes and shit 💓 )
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trying 2 cheer up about this whole having to sell my car debacle bc my state decided to swing a hammer blind at its residents & now thousands of people are having their titles taken from them but uh its very hard to look at a bright side atm of this situation !
#not to mention im mentally burnt out of being creative on this website#either i get 5 rbs n 200 likes on something i worked 5hrs on or my blog gets nerf'd so whatever i had posted doesnt appear for days n then#when i return its too late as its buried in the tag and scarcely anyone got to rb it soooo idk its#its just a bad brain day folks dont mind me ima play some video of games i guess
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omg i have never met anyone else who gets ocular migraines and thought there was something severely wrong happening to me until i figured out the right way to describe it to google to get the name of the condition. anyways they suck i hope yours went away quickly!!
This is the first time it's ever happened to me but not the first time I've ever gotten weird migraine side effects after a full day of socializing so when it happened I was like okay this is freaky but I bet it's some type of migraine and then I just googled why is my vision zig zagging. thanks to whoever wrote the article that told me I was NOT dying and should just wait 30 minutes to an hour for it to go away. It did stop pretty quickly after I turned off the lights and stretched my back & neck out
#replies#usually i just get like a normal headache#though on occasion it's been migraine level and/or i get pretty bad brain fog and have trouble communicating#anyway folks! if you ever get bright spots that won't go away followed by heat wave looking things sometimes in weird patterns#it's not dangerous unless it goes on for like over an hour then it could be the symptom of other issues#and apparently it often happens in clusters and then doesn't happen again for a long time so we'll see if i get one in the next few days
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✨Genderfluidity✨
You think this might mean that I'm comfortable with all genders but ✨Nope!✨I swing wildly with what I identify, how strongly, and how dysphoric
Today I am somewhere on the spectrum of boy but if you call me he/him I'll bite you but call me she/her and I'll stab you but I am not gender neutral
I am boy, but only since like an hour ago
#For awhile I just went by she/her#however turns out if it is full on guy day#it makes me super dysphoric#Also my face is just odd enough that I have no gender#I just look bad#I have skull defects and human brain does not like that so ugly#Thats biology folks#anyways I only look decent with long hair#but oh boy sometimes I want to chop it off#genderfluid#genderqueer#transgender#lgbtqia#lgbtq#gender dysphoria
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is it normal after meditating for One Single Night to feel like youre not a person anymore and you wanna die lol
#i think meditation might be bad for me folks!#the listlessness disassociation and sudden bursts of rage are like. Not chill.#like i Dont feel like the person i was 4-ish days ago like i think meditating can break your brain forever or something
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what if i was asleep
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Spooktober - Day 23 - Storm/Lightning
Aren't you ever afraid that Whale Island will fall down?
#Spooktober#In which Margot decides to paint Whale Island again. Apparently it's a once a challenge thing#Rune Factory Frontier#RF Frontier#RFF#Rune Factory#Margot's RF Art#Rune Factory Whale Island#RF Whale Island#I like to think folks would worry about Whale Island during bad weather if they know how weak the island currently is/was#One bad storm maybe uses up too much energy or does too much damage...#Another fun chill background day#While I tried not to watch my football team get their brains beaten out#ONE WEEK LEFT#till this challenge is over AND I AM ON VACATION
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i want to draw blorbo things or write up meta and instead i've felt dizzy and nauseated all day, ugh. arophobia at its finest
#and by arophobia i mean take your meds the way you're supposed to folks#that one's on me#still sucks though#maybe i'll doodle a /little/ while i listen to bad creepypasta readings. as a treat#every six months or so i have to have another creepypasta phase to set my brain right again and apparently i am very overdue#started again a few days ago; instantly started feeling way less shitty than i have been. it's Good Soothing Kinda Silly Background Noise#with the occasional actually really good one which is always nice#mysterious ways etc#whosebaby talks#not fandoms#meds talk cw
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Okay might start sounding a lil crazy here lol BUT the more I think about it the more I think the short haired twin is Glenda and the long haired twin is Glen HEAR ME OUT:
This clip from the trailer, we see someone running, not like a "oh shit I gotta get away from my crazy murder family" run but more of a "get the fuck back here bitch so I can murder you" predatory type of run. And judging from the pink car in the corner and the way the person is dressed I feel like it's safe to say it's one of the twins, and from the way they are running I think it's most likely Glenda.
It's pretty difficult to tell BUT it doesn't really look like they have long hair?? Like it doesn't look like they have any hair flowing behind them as they run, it looks like they have a very close to their head type of haircut. ALSO
It's hard to tell but it looks like the twin on the left is wearing a purple jacket under their green thingy? Like you can see a jacket collar poking up from under it. Like these two clips could even be from the same day.
And I know the long haired twin is also wearing a purple jacket but 1) maybe they're matching cause they're twins or something and also 2) that jacket doesn't look as shiny?? Like it doesn't look to me like it's the same material as the running clip (which, hey, could be from a different day so trying to match it to an outfit could be pointless anyhow lolololol 😆😆😆)
But that's an earring right?? Like a big ass earring like they're wearing in that other pic
GRANTED the long haired twin might also have earrings that we just can't see from behind their hair, but still.
My main point is that from the outfit and way they're running that's most likely Glenda, and it looks like they have very short hair.
I dunno but I think that would be pretty cool lololol 😆😆😆
Also Tiffany said last season that Glenda had exquisite taste and look at both of those twins and ask yourself honestly which one that describes more lolololol 😆😆😆😆😆
Like which one would be more likely to be described as 'stylish' or 'fashionable' lol
#also if that is glenda running i will feel so vindicated#because i have sketches of them in basically that exact outfit lolololol 😆😆😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣#also i wrote they and them so many times here just to refer to a single character and i can't even describe the good chemicals#that are flowing in my brain because of that lololol 😆😆😆#like it's not a head canon it's not a fan theory or preference it's CANON BITCHES 😆😆😆😆😆#THE NON BINARY MURDER TWINS ARE CANON 😆😆😆😆😆😁😁😁#like sure sure sure i get it things like 'subtext' and 'coding' all have their reasons and uses#like when the big bad producers won't let you write the characters the way you want#but the difference between 'it's not canonical but there's no evidence against it either' vs having#THE CHARACTER DRIVING UP WITH THEIR GODDAMN PRONOUNS ON THEIR LICENSE PLATE 😤😤😤🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌#it just feels amazing 😆😆😆#especially when you consider this is a low brow slasher franchise like they don't have to be this good to their fanbase#they don't have to be so inclusive they could've just diced up some folks and called it a day but they didnt#glen coulda just been a pacifist and that coulda been their schtick but they went nonbinary with it#they added a nonbinary character and then they doubled them lolololol 😆😆😆😆😆🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌#an yeah i could be way off base with which twin is which lololol 😅😅😅#or maybe everything i said was hella obvious to everyone else and I'm the only one debating it lolololol 🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅#anyways this is my life now until this damn show starts lolololol 🤪🤪🤪🤡🤡🤡😆😆😆😆😆#also i fucking love their car lololololol it suits them both so well 😆😆😆😆😆😆🥰🥰🥰💖💕#i hope if there's more seasons or movies or remakes or reboots or whatever#and glen and glenda are in it again#i hope they have their car ☺️☺️☺️#the nonbinary-mobile#queermobile#whatever lololololol 😅😅😅😆😆😆#shitpost lol 😆#chucky#glen#glenda#this entire post and tags is pretty incoherent sorry bout it lololol 😆😆😆😅😅😅
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#okay I just saw 3 asks from allegedly the same person to different blog#bringing on tumbrl shit that happens om twitter#I am no longer using my twitter account because that’s too much poor brains I cant handles in my good days let alone the bad days#so please could you keep twitter shit on twitter?#I genuinely couldn’t care about the Bentley mom#I couldn’t care of screenshots or whatever#i blocked that girl long ago and I would like to keep her business out of my sight#I understand some people (especially young folks) can be overwhelmed by theatrical mess like this#but please start try to understand that nothing is real#and what was Louis supposed to say to a stranger online? 😭😭 ‘no he is not my kid’? 😭😭#use your beautiful brains I beg you#*blogs
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heyy anybody got any good non-bluetooth headphone recommendations? current pair is finally dying and my computer doesnt have bluetooth in it and while it still has sound for the most part i can already feel it taking a tool on my mental health because most of my games and stuff need to be restarted after the audio cuts out- and even when it doesnt it hurts my ears a lot when it starts to freak out
#violet speaks#i dont wanna go into details but im having a bad brain time the past couple of days and could use a new pair#if anyone wants to. throw something at my ko-fi also so i can afford said new pair that would also be really appreciated#just had to send some money over to folks to cover for cat stuff so i dont. have a lot in my account rn
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