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transjudas · 1 year

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I was 16 when Gerard was putting on makeup and talking about the process of doing that on fuse tv. 16 in that photo of me beside him. I didn’t have the words or understanding then to know that I was trans. I just felt different. Like I was “bad at being a girl” I would say then. I remember seeing Gerard and seeing someone that the people around me would say was “bad at being a boy”.

For me I could just feel that they were someone who, like me, didn’t feel comfortable in the box or the label society put on him. Neither myself nor Gerard had gotten comfortable with certain parts of ourselves (I say this based on what Gerard said then and has since said about themselves and their gender/gender presentation) but there was something about him that I could just feel so deeply was in some way familiar. I felt seen on so many levels despite no words about it being said, not really.

Now I’ve been openly transmasc for a several years and have been becoming more and more comfortable and proud of who I am. And it’s been the most beautiful gift seeing Gerard feeling that same way and getting to be himself on stages across the world. I’m getting to see the person who made me feel so not alone in my confusing and unknown difference as a teenager get to be who they are at the same time that I am too.

Thank you Gerard Way, My Chemical Romance, and the My Chem fandom for being a place I could grow and learn about who I am.

And as ever, in the face of extinction, say fuck you!

(lyrics are from Ring of Keys in Fun Home, a song that was written by a butch, about a butch. Sending all of my love to the butches of the world. Y’all rock) (x, x)

#mcr #mcredit #my chemical romance #gerard way #gerardwayedit #gerard gender archives #my face #this is the most terrified i've ever been to post something here lmao but i'm doing it cause it means a lot to me #gerard has done so much for me #and so did young me and i'm proud of them #and i want to honor all of that #ok now i'm going to play phone games so i don't have a nervous breakdown bye

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ssreeder · 6 months

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yooooo. queer-ie: i love your work and would die for it (this is the queer part) and i just know there’s gotta be scenes that have been deleted. could you possibly tell us about some of those (this is the -ie part)? no pressure tho!! i’ll be hopelessly devoted to you either way.

eyyyyyy-o.

sorry Ive sat on this ask for a while but it tuurns I doooooo have like 4k of of outtakes from RIA & ITF lol.

so here are a few, i’m not sure if this is what you wanted from this ask lol im doing my best. (also none of these are edited or proof read and im sorry about mistakes and grammar and tense and all that other jaz because these were seriously like - ‘i don’t know if im going to trash this orrrrr…..’ then it never made it in & might not even be applicable to the current story.)

im such a good author I know so many details ummmm here is an insert from some point in RIA (I think this was going to be a POV from Hakoda and his men talking and I decided it was a waste of word count. sorry hakoda)

- - -

“I say we kill him.”

“Don’t you think that is a little… <i>extreme</i> Gilak?”

“Not as extreme as the <i>son</i> of the Fire Lord living and breathing in our camp!”

Hakoda felt the specific vein in his forehead thumping against his wrinkled skin that was trying its best to keep it contained. He could feel a headache coming forward the longer they discussed what to do about the situation that Sokka brought to his attention… and so far, they had not one tangible idea.

“Gilak, I have already told you, we can not kill him.”

“I know sir, your son is buddies with him, and we can’t upset Sokka.”

Hakoda shot the larger man a stern look, and he quickly retracted his words.

“I know why we can’t kill him. I just think it would be the simplest solution in this situation.”

Bato jumped to Hakoda’s defense, like he always did.

“This is not a simple situation, so it will not have a simple solution. I think we should speak to Morrak and see what he learned about the boy before we make any decisions. If we kill the Prince of the Fire Nation while he is severely injured and being non threatening we will look like the savages the rest of the world calls us. We have to handle this delicately, like Hakoda said, Sokka trusted us enough to tell us who he is when he could have easily lied. Which means we need to respect that trust and handle it delicately.”

Hakoda cleared his throat, earning the attention from both his men.

“So it is decided. I will talk to Morrak and once I get more information, I will meet back with you both and we can discuss our options at that point.”

“Yes sir.”

“Yes Chief.”

Hakoda was happy when they left his tent, freeing up the stifled air that seemed to stop moving the moment the conversation began. Hakoda felt an intense guilt building from betraying his son’s trust and sharing his friend's identity with the other men… Haoda knew it was the wisest decision for him to make as the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, but it wasn’t helping him be the best dad to his son… Something he was still struggling with every passing moment.

Even now… Hakoda left his son alone in the healer’s tent with the boy he just recently discovered was the Prince of the Fire Nation… A boy bred into fire and violence. Sokka seemed to trust him, which gave Hakoda a tiny bit of hope that maybe there was something good in this boy… But that tiny feeling was smothered by the rest of the overwhelming amount of mistrust and worry he had when he looked at the golden eyed boy who glared at him from the moment he opened his eyes.

Hakoda rubbed his forehead, digging his thumb into his temple in an attempt to push back the stress vein. He needed to speak to Morrak, and after that… He would make a decision on what was the best next step he could make. He needed to protect his tribe and his son, that was his main concern right now… and right now… Sokka was tied to this fire bender in a way that made Hakoda nervous.

Turning towards the entrance of his tent, Hakoda decided not to overthink this situation a minute longer and go find Morrak so they could talk…

Each time Hakoda thought about all the things he didn’t know, or wasn’t understanding, he felt the weight of his decision growing heavier and heavier. If Hakoda didn’t figure out what to do soon, he was going to be crushed and then Sokka would be on his own…

Hakoda couldn’t fail his son again, he had to make the right decision

- -

Ok so this one is right before Zuko gave himself up in RIA. I don’t remember how the final scene went down but we all know how it ended :) <3

Psst… Dad.”

Hakoda frowned in his sleep, caught in the middle of a dream and the reality that awaited him on the other side.

“Dad… Wake up.”

Hakoda opened his eyes and saw Sokka staring down at him.

“Son? What are you doing in my tent in the middle of the night? Are you ok?”

Hakoda sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to see through the darkness he was startled when a tiny flame broke through the void and gave clarity to the room.

Zuko was standing behind Sokka who was kneeling next to Hakoda’s bed, and the Water Tribe man felt a mixture of conflicted feelings. He was instantly happy that Zuko had come back for Sokka, but the dred that followed swallowed any joy he had…. Zuko couldn’t be here. If Quon found him… They would all be in trouble.

“I’m fine… Zuko came back. He… We… Ummm… We are leaving.”

Hakoda thought he would be devastated the day his son told him he was leaving again, so sure that his world would bottom out and Hakoda would feel like he was falling into despair. But when he looked at Sokka, and he thought back to the talk they had about his feelings for the fire bender, Hakoda knew that there was nothing he could say to change his son’s decision.

Just like Hakoda had allowed Katara to leave, he had to do the same with Sokka. His children didn’t belong to him anymore, they were grown and they were bonded to people who they were loyal to… And Hakoda was proud of them. It was a monumental thing to find someone you loved, and staying loyal to them was what kept that relationship strong…. Even if Hakoda didn’t love the idea of Sokka choosing a fire bending boy, he wouldn’t stop him from being loyal to his love.

“I understand, son. Allow me to put on my pants and I will help you two escape.”

Zuko spoke up, “I don’t think that will be necessary. The uhh… The helping us… Not the uhh… The pants.”

Hakoda smirked and Sokka smacked his own forehead. No wonder the boy refrained from using words.

“I would like to make sure you two make it out ok. Is that a problem?”

Zuko seemed to dislike the idea, but Sokka gave him a pleading look that had a splash of assertiveness, which seemed to be their typical dynamic. Now that Hakoda was aware of the romantic nature between the boys it was easier to disfer their interactions.

Hakoda slipped on his pants and slid on his boots, making sure he secured his hunting knife inside. He couldn’t grab any other weapons just in case they were caught, Hakoda couldn’t risk looking like he was prepared for a fight. If they were caught, they would need to make sure that whatever words made up their excuse were good enough to fool whoever found them.

As long as it wasn’t Quon, they might have a chance

- -

RIP Shen, I never realized how fucking funny you and Zuko were until you died. I think this was when they were all sharing intel idk… but Zukos an asshole and I love it. (he and Sokka were sooooo hostile during the SWT arc)

“Nothing… Just…. Fucking drop it. How about Zuko and I switch seats and I will come over and help you with the Fire Nation cruiser information. Bato and Zuko can, I don’t know… Play their tile game or whatever.”

“Fine with me. I fucking love games.” Zuko mumbled as he stood up.

Shen watched with wide eyes, not saying a word, and Hakoda could honestly say he had no words to add to the tension either.

“Good!” Sokka stood up as well and made sure to bump his friend’s shoulder as they switched seats. The fire bender glanced back and Hakoda wondered if he was going to shove Sokka in the back but he didn’t reciprocate the hostile gesture and instead he flopped down next to Bato and crossed his arms with his brow narrowed deep into the center of his face.

Shen leaned back when Sokka came to sit down next to him, and Sokka glanced over at him and scoffed.

“Don’t be dramatic. Let’s just get this thing fucking over with so we can be done here.”

“Whatever you say.” Shen replied as Sokka aggressively organized the parchment and prepared to draw out Shen’s cruiser.

Hakoda watched as Sokka’s anger melted when Shen began to explain what it was like being a soldier stationed on Fire Nation cruiser. He told them about -

- -

TA DAAAAAA idk if this is what you wanted…. but here it is. I don’t have anything from the first book, and only a bit from ITF but I do have more RIA. I rambled a lot in the second book ha but yeah idk what else to say! Thanks for the ask.

#FYI NONE OF THESE ARE EDITED haha so sorry #this ask has been in my inbox for a while #but yeah for small tid bits there was going to be a game the boys played along the way called ‘what would uncle say?’#because Zuko was always saying shit that didn’t make sense because he was quoting Iroh #and so whenever shit was annoying the boys would say ‘huh I wonder what uncle would say about this?’#and it would just be stupid shit to make them laugh #but it never happened haha #the eating game took over the light hearted moments #ummmmm #im trying to think I have a lot of notes in my phone too but idk how to organize my thoughts when they are no longer relevant #yeah if you give me a direction I could look lol #nooooo this fic hasn’t consumed me haha #*shuffles through notebooks and documents*#*printed pages of maps and drawings of the prison*#ok im done in the tags #sorry #liab #ria #ITF #ask

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