The first Splatoon game turned 8 yesterday!

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

GAH LONG POST..

xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy

thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions

perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal

but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it

i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship

but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts

I apologize if this is like weird or anything so just ignore this if it bothers you, but all this talk about palewear and quadrant holidays is reminding me of this one joke I saw once where it was something like "marriage counselors are just Ashen prostitutes," and now I can't stop thinking about what it would look like in Alternian society for prostitutes of the conciliatory quadrants.

Like every time I just start cracking up bc like how would that even work. If you have an established business how do you advertise that. If you're trying to attract clients with how you dress in public what's the difference between wearing something that *suggests* your line of work vs the conciliatory equivalent of standing in the middle of Walmart in lingerie. I guess how you'd view stuff paleways would depend on how important you'd headcanon papping as a biological need vs a social expectation but the fact that it's literally supposed to be the most emotionally intimate, or at least requires the most trust, is like. How the fuck do you even have a one night stand. Like how does that work. I'm giggling just thinking about it.

Anyways sorry for rambling in your inbox but tl;dr What are your thoughts on conciliatory prostitution?

this is the funniest ask i’ve ever gotten

i would say the line between therapists and conciliatory prostitution is the fact that therapists are more of a health/medical thing… by definition a therapist usually finds a mental medical problem of yours and helps with it the way a doctor would help with something physically

IRL, getting bandaged up by someone can be either professional (ie at a doctors office) or unprofessional/erotic, (ie after a battle your crush is tending to your wounds and keeps making eye contact and leaning in very close…) so in human society there are already cases of things that can be medical or romantic depending on literally just context and vibes

a therapist is going to be in a clinical office, their room is not going to lend itself to a troll’s comfort in a way that screams romance— a therapist is NOT going to be anywhere near a pile, for instance, though they might prescribe that activity to their patient lol

meanwhile an actual conciliatory prostitute… you’re right that it would be a little strange, and maybe hollow, given that proper moirallegiance is supposed to involve the most amount of knowledge + trust out of any other quadrant.

but, consider that matespritship— and human romance, here— involves trust and emotional attachment as well, usually! and yet prostitution still exists…. because it’s about the physical aspect of romance alone, for people who need to get that energy out occasionally

so let me postulate that conciliatory prostitution would be the same— focused only on the physical parts of the relationship.

therefore, a pale prostitute would really be more like a masseuse than a therapist. they’d ask you questions about your life, of course, get you in a pile and listen to you talk for a bit before massaging you and getting your tension out; you know, there’s got to be foreplay. but it would likely feel somewhat hollow and businesslike as opposed to… you know, an actual pile session with a moirail. sort of the same as concupiscent prostitution

thank you for the tag @albonoooo <333

star sign: leo (attention whore signs 4 the win)

favourite holiday: my neighborhood does neighbor day every year and that’s a solid percentage of my favorite childhood memories. my neighborhood is very very close (very much so an “it takes a village” mentality) so i grew up with essentially twenty aunts and uncles. and also like ten dogs and thirteen vaguely cousin-esque figures on my block. anyways it’s like a massive potluck barbecue thing, it goes from like noon to whenever the last person heads in (which can be quite late). think like. potluck barbecue to casual day drinking to big bonfire w smores as the day goes by. as a kid i spent the whole day roaming the neighborhood and coming back every so often to grab food from the tables before heading off again. as an adult i got to get drunk on seltzers with a bunch of 50 somethings and it was incredible

last meal: omg it was my last ohio meal… i got it from this really special like local version of sonic’s (like a drive up food place). they make their burgers w a little bit of brown sugar and mashed banana (they’re the best burgers i’ve ever had). so i had a double hamburger w fries and a mint shake w brownie spindled in. if you’re ever driving through ohio PLEASE hit me up to get this place’s name it’s GLORIOUS. 1980s pricing (admittedly 80s portions too lol). neon signs everywhere. what i will miss the most

current favourite musician: i tend to just hit play on my liked songs so whatever i liked most recently gets played wayyyy more. a lot of the backseat lovers rn

last music listened to: mama’s gun by glass animals (BANGER OF A SONG!!!)

last movie watched: the muppet christmas carol i think . yeah according to letterboxd that lmfao

last tv show watched: i just binged monarch: legacy of monsters w my parents (amazing godzilla tv show but godzilla’s only in it for like. 10 minutes total lol. gay people <3) and then we started lockwood & co tonight on a whim

last book/fic finished: the invisible library by genevieve cogman !!! so good. librarian spy thieves…

last book/fic abandoned: oh gosh. i am such a completionist that i don’t think i ever leave books unfinished. technically i won’t be able to finish the masked city (the sequel to the invisible library) bc it belongs to the library and i am moving. but i will be picking it back up as soon as i have a library card in my new area so? does that even count? yeah i don’t really dnf things

currently reading: the masked city by genevieve cogman technically. lol. i’m trying to read at least a page a day in january. some days that means literally reading a page other days it’s reading 300. since i started the masked city like four days ago ive only made it through 30 pages bc moving is a nightmare so.

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: hm. technically for the last thing i like posted that would be the drug testing guidelines for f1 (tldr fun fact party drugs are fine out of competition). i read like. 60 pages of legalese. and a bunch of medical stuff and then several wikipedia pages and guides for athletes. the last wikipedia article i opened was for NATO and i have no idea why LOL

favourite online fandom memory: i have the memory of a goldfish… i’m also pretty sure f1 is the first time i’ve been involved w a fandom like. as it’s happening. i’m usually a latecomer . i did enjoy whatever the fuck went down w supernatural and putin that was fun second hand (literally thru a groupchat bc i was in my significantly less terminally online era aka i was in college)

favourite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: newsies (1992) my beloved… i plotted out a fic that would stretch over like. 40 years. i went INSANE on historical accuracy research. and then i got depressed… someday my magnum opus (slice of life polyamory through turn of the century nyc) will come to fruition

favourite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: i feel like there’s been a million times i’ve walked out of a movie (or finished a book, or a tv show) and gone to ao3 and then it has like. 4 works. the rivers of london series by ben aaronovitch only has like . 1k fics on ao3. and not a lot of ppl posting on tumblr. so maybe that?

tempting project you're trying to rein in/don't have time for: all of them tbh… runners au really (it’s spawned into like three different fics of plot lines Plus an epistolary type companion…). i literally constantly come up w ideas (usually hyper specific aus) all the time ask dees it’s a PROBLEM for me. bc i have no time for any of them…

no pressure tags if u wld like <3 @userkritaaay @leclercenjoyer @drivestraight @oscarpiastriwdc @eyes-likepilotlights (i have not paid a ton of attention to who has done this/been tagged sorry)

erika!!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 i’ve already said it!! but i think you’re the sweetest person ever 🥺 like the warmth of a home!!

as a year end pick, my favourite read from you is: fright night… omg this was insane . i can never forget how i felt reading this

if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹

MY SWEETEST SEL HAPPY NEW YEAr TO YOU!! 😭🥳✨💕

Omg YOU are the true sweet one?? You bring so much warmth into my life and I’m so grateful I get to see 2024 with you in it!!!! AND OMG I’m so honored you think I have the warmth like a home oh my god??? 🥺 To me you remind me of the peace and sweetness that comes with waking up on New Year’s Day! It’s that hopeful and bright feeling that today holds i feel you just personify to me!!! 💫✨

And oh my stars…fright night being your favorite I’M GIGGLING SO MUCH RN!?!?? I still get so 🫣 about that fic cause OOOF!! It was a spicy spooky one for sure lol! But to know it was your favorite?? I feel like we’re both giggling together now as we still sneakily eat Halloween candy we shouldn’t be eating lol

But wow your question is a lovely way to start the new year Sel thank you so much for asking such a thoughtful and wonderful reflection 💗

So! 2023 had its hard moments for me and sometimes it felt so foggy… but the most shining aspect of this year was getting back to writing honestly

I haven’t publicly posted fic in YEARS Sel and I mean years because of how discourage and embarassed I felt! But this year, because I had those foggy hermit like moments, it made me want to just connect more with people and get back some of my spark - and I knew that came with writing

So to think that choice to just jump back into writing brought me here? To you? And to so many wonderful moments and people is something I will cherish forever!!!! ♥️

And ah 2024!! I try not to do too many resolutions but my big hopes for this year are to cook more new dishes (so tell me what’s your favorite recipe to cook!) and to write fic for characters I haven’t written for before! To like, spread my wings a bit ya know?!

My dearest Sel thank you so much for love and your friendship! I hope 2024 is wonderful to you and graces you with so many blessings!!

Now!! My new years question for you is - what fic from 2023 do you feel most proud and what is your hope for 2024? 🥹💖

LOVE YOU SUNSHINE!!!! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR AGAIN 🥳✨

Why Do You Hurt? -> Kiyo

you swallow pain & fold around it

you have always hurt. you hold it carefully, and twisted in such a way that other people don't have to see it. you don't choke on it. you don't drown. you just have it, the way some people have freckles, this is a thing that lives in your bones. you fold instead of fighting because you know how to make yourself small, tuck away the places where they have clawed at, swallow the bruises so you seem clean. nobody needs to see it. you will live through this on your own. you know what you need, and relief isn't it. this doesn't mean you cannot reach out - it means it is not in your nature to do so. you should. hiding does not mean you won't be seen.

Tagged by: @duskmother (thanks!)

Tagging: whoever wants to do this, I never know who wants to do these things

-> Quiz Here <-

i am no woman or man i'm just a cartoon rabbit, i promise

hi !!! it’s my birthday today <:3c

ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!

so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️

Aside from the delicate touch of a redhead and borderline infidelity, did you get Ramona anything for her birthday?

".... Shit."

Kim stares blankly at her phone for a moment, unsure how to proceed. Did she know that? Did she know it was Ramona's birthday? She tried to recall but kept drawing up blanks. Had she not told them her birthday?

Maybe the panic was making her forget.

Kim bites her lip as she pockets her phone, leaving the ask unanswered; she'd give them some vague non-answer and verbal attack another time. Apparently, she has a birthday girl to tend to.

The guilt feels light enough to ignore now anyhow, as she shuts off the water fully and moves towards the door; she tries not to doubt that Ramona will make her forget about it entirely.

But as her hand reaches for the knob, she hears approaching footsteps, and goes still...

old mighty med interviews? What do you know about them? I must know-

hsfdffdjj…I was not actually expecting anyone to send in an ask, thank you ^_^ tbh i was mainly referring to content in mighty med interviews that I personally find interesting and less what I know about them. However some interviews raise interesting questions like how in this interview (idk if this actually counts as an interview bc they’re just being asked things about the show but it’s close enough) they play a promotional clip where kaz and oliver are playing an online game together (in a set that’s never used in the show) and jake short says that k&o really like videogames when iirc that’s not really a thing?? in the show?? other than the dance ep ofc. so maybe it was supposed to be but then it was too irrelevant to the shows premise so they gave the trait to Jordan? I don’t know if the writers even played video games considering the arcade game she plays in the first episode has her blowing up unicorns (???) but back on the interview I’m also pretty sure the set of the clip directly after is from this ad. this set is also never used in the show. the ad even uses the tagline “it’s just how they operate” even though it’s “saving the people who save people”. realistically these were probably made earlier in development, but i think it would be funny if the marketing team just straight up didn’t watch the show (haha imagine wouldn’t it be so crazy if a team working with mm didn’t watch it wouldn’t that be so silly) so the old interviews may give some insight into bts stuff! Sick! Another thing is this article (comfort read btw) which has transcribed parts of an interview w the mm cast and crew where they explain some of the thought behind skylars character and…

.. it’s just so interesting!! So much care was put into mms world and it really shines through in this interview. Also in both the video interview and the article, k&o are respectively described as the gas and the break by their actors+the shows creators and it’s just so.. OTL (<- man on his hands and knees)…. bsp even says “you can’t drive a car without both” (paraphrasing) and it’s like. ack. eek. them... this analogy was probably told to bsp+js and now we get to see the intentions with which they’re written maybe! anyway i hope I answered your ask correctly. And if not I hope it was a satisfactory or at least interesting answer ^_^

The existence of this Rosaline movie makes me so MAD, because SHE WAS NEVER IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ROMEO. SHE TOOK A VOW OF CHASTITY, AND SAID THAT SHE WAS JUST GONNA NOT BE IN LOVE.

SHE. REJECTED. HIM.

SHE WAS NEVER INTERESTED IN BEING WITH HIM AT ALL.

And then they just...make a whole movie from her supposed perspective (which is loosely based on a book which...hoo boy we’ll get to that in a second), where the premise is that she’s jealous and wants to break him and Juliet up? That she’s so in love that she has to win him over again? (Also, how do they justify her knowing that they’re together? The entire point is that no one knows Romeo and Juliet are in love?? I know this is an adaptation, but Jesus Christ.)

WHY DID YOU PICK THIS CHARACTER. TO HAVE THIS STORY WITH. THE WHOLE POINT OF HER CHARACTER IS THAT SHE CHOOSES NOT TO BE WITH HIM. THAT’S WHAT OPENS THE DOOR TO HIM MEETING JULIET. IF ROSALINE IS DEEPLY INTO ROMEO, THE ENTIRE PLAY DOESN’T WORK.

Are we saying that she was just “““playing hard to get”””? That she was toying with his heart for fun? That when she told him no, she really meant “yes”?? I THOUGHT WE LEFT THAT BEHIND OVER THE COURSE OF THE LAST DECADE, I THOUGHT WE DECIDED THAT WAS BAD???!!?

Don’t even get me started on the book this is based on, where that general premise is that Rosaline is just an Innocent Average Girl, and her cousin who is Beautiful™ and vOLaTiLeLY uNsTAbLe and cRaZy comes and “takes” her poor unsuspecting boyfriend who is completely blameless for his own terrible behavior away from her while being called a “slut” the whole time. (I doubt much of this carried over into the actual movie, because that’s being billed as an ironic rom-com, and I highly doubt ANYONE would try to make that genre work while keeping this premise 100% intact.)

WHY WOULD YOU EXPAND THIS CHARACTER LIKE THIS. WHY. WE STUDY THIS PLAY IN SCHOOL AS AN EXAMPLE OF LITERARY STRUCTURE AND POETIC LANGUAGE AND FORESHADOWING AND HOW TO WRITE A TRAGIC NARRATIVE AND FOR WHAT. FOR PEOPLE TO NOT TAKE AWAY ANY OF THE INTENDED MEANING FROM THIS PLAY???!?!?!? I AM SCREAMING SO HARD I WILL BREAK THE EARTH’S CRUST UNTIL I AM SUBSUMED INTO HELL.

If you’re going to adapt something, you’ve gotta make it clear that you have some significant understanding of the original work. Retellings are fine! They can even have different functions or deconstruct tropes or be unexpectedly edgy! But it’s 1000% obvious when you don’t have any knowledge or engagement with the source material, and that is a problem. It’s ignorant, it’s lazy, and everyone involved deserves better.

I’ve passed 52% (yay!) and I have so many thoughts written down (yes, I take notes while reading (mostly keyboard smashes, though)). But I’m just gonna appreciate all of the relationships being portrayed here between the characters. And the level of complexity their personalities and worldviews and arcs are allowed. And also the fact that they’re allowed to show deep, deep emotion as much as they hide/deny it...and that their changes are so brutally shown to us readers and the people around them.

Just how? I don’t know how this book managed to show such character development, such a progression and changing of relationships, such nuance between characters (not just Dokja @ everyone, but also between the sides themselves), such belief in each other and the person they’ve become (312′s “I believe in the story they had built” - I’m dead), such lightheartedness but also such depth between everyone...

*suddenly throws the book into the wall* And how does it keep one devastating me with all these random exchanges!?!? It’s happening so close to each other and yet it seems so well built-up and paced?! I cannot....

out of all the things i could hyperfixate on i didnt expect my next one to be a 200+ year old form of storytelling

With the whole sibling dynamic of Nancy and Jonathan's relationship with their siblings (and their friends) vs Steve's relationship with the party is how you see them interacting outside of the Upside Down related stuff.

Outside of the Upside Down stuff, we are never really shown, in canon, Nancy or Jonathan interacting with the kids other than their own siblings. The only time I can think of is Nancy dancing with Dustin at the end of s2. And it is implied, especially in s1 and s2, that they don't really think of the other kids much outside of being their younger brothers' friends.

But on the other hand, we do see Steve interacting with the kids outside of the Upside Down stuff. We see him helping Dustin before the Snowball at the end of s2, and we see him interacting with all the kids in s3. Sneaking them into movies, his handshake with Dustin, and giving him ice cream. (And it is kind of Upside Down related, but the way he is the only older teen to get a letter from Max in s4).

I think this is why, in fics, Steve is given that sibling dynamic more, and with more of the kids, because we he him interacting with them in normal settings more than we see Nancy or Jonathan. (I'm not saying this is a good or bad thing, just my opinion as to why it happens.)

I get to an extent what your saying, though I kind of disagree with it. Especially because I was talking specifically about the relationships with their own siblings getting erased, though I mentioned Nancy and her brother's friends because people have this weird thing where they seem to try to make her look bad bc she doesn't spend much time with them during Upside Down crises.

Anyway! Wrt Nancy and her brother's friends, I know we don't see it a lot on screen, but it is present in the dialogue imo. Nancy may not spend a whole lot of time on screen at this point, especially in the scenes we see her because quite honestly in s3 and s4 we see her in career mode, but we get dialogue that makes it sound like she has and does see them. She dressed up for one of their DND campaigns before! The you've always been my favorite Dustin comment also I think speaks to her spending more time with them than you'd think. Also I feel like Nancy's interaction with Dustin at the snowball was pretty significant to my point?

I think the implications you get in s1 and s2 are more so a growing pains thing anyway. Yes she's bitchy and short with them, but she's also a 16yo who has her first boyfriend and is acting out lol. Of course she doesn't want to hang out with her brother's nerdy friends then, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care about them.

When I say that we don't see Steve actually interact with the kids (other than Dustin, which was never my point, Dustin and Steve being surrogate brothers is extremely canon) on screen I mean that like, yeah he sneaks them into movies, but it's not like they are hanging out in the ice cream parlor. We don't actually see him driving them anywhere or anything. I do think it's likely that all of that happened, it is very much implied that they hang out more. But we don't see that on screen.

The fact that Max leaves Steve a letter is very telling for their off screen relationship yes! And like I said, I do think from UD stuff too that Steve is big brotherly to Dustin especially (because that is the one relationship we do get on screen), Max, and the Sinclairs, but like we don't actually really see Steve interact with Will or El very much if at all lol. Mike is mostly just antagonistic to him. (I don't think Mike actively dislikes Steve, I think Mike just is prickly but I digress.)

And with Jonathan... well it doesn't matter if he doesn't hang out with the other kids, the main complaint there was straight up that his character is hinged on his relationship with his siblings and that is erased and/or given to Steve even though I can't even think if we've ever really seen Steve interact with Will. Nothing about the other kids lol.

Also like, tbh the reason people make Steve big brother to All is because he is a fandom fave. Which I get! Steve is my fave too! I love big bro Steve so much, but like there's no canon evidence why Steve should have a closer relationship to Will (and arguably El) than Jonathan. There's really no canon evidence why Mike should be closer to Steve than Nancy either. That was more so my point in the whole thing. Especially when people use it to villainize Nancy. I understand why fandom does what it does, but I disagree about the canon support personally.