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#it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written
inkskinned · 10 months
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so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.
this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.
somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.
i used betterhelp.
i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.
the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.
they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.
the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.
i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."
i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.
the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.
i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.
in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.
the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.
betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.
i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.
there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.
in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.
i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.
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ms-all-sunday · 2 months
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^ lied to you when he says he's never made a one piece au before
soulmate au east blue polycule
remember like, a few months ago when I said I had written the most I have ever done in a month and then I didn't post anything? it was to this beast that I lost those words. writing this with @awitchandawanderer is my biggest project ive ever done. and its my favourite east blue polycule fic i've read/made.
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miafeystits · 9 months
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He’s a hypocrite, he knows, coming here to talk when he’s still choking on the truth in his throat, but as he presses this kiss into Kazuma’s skin he prays that it says everything his words cannot, that his tongue still cowers at the thought of saying aloud. When he pulls away, Kazuma is looking at him like he’s the only thing on earth. “Kazuma,” he says, voice firm. “I don’t hate you, okay?” In which the future waits for no one, but Ryuunosuke still has a few things to say before he goes.
here's the post 2-5 asoryuu fic that i've been working on for a while, about trying to deal with the past and look towards the future. enjoy!
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kithj · 4 months
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my 2023 year in review:
published the most recent update for tnp in january
started work on hh originally in twine back in march
wrote and published one day hike in april
wrote and published faith in june for neo-twiny jam
refined hh as a novel instead and wrote the first draft between may-august
wrote and published siren's call in september
also started working on blood choke in may and published the prologue & ch1-2 in july, then ch3 in november
i started a few things that i haven't finished but will hopefully finish this year... bleeding heart will definitely be published within the next month for vampjamp.
i guess my hopes for this year will be:
finish bleeding heart in time for vampjamp (this will definitely happen)
finish the blackwater route for tnp and finally move on to ch3
ch4 of blood choke
workshop hell or highwater & decide what direction i want to take it in
start second draft of hh
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hella1975 · 2 years
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i hate my town i hate the people in it i hate the shame that consumes us all i hate that every failure might as well be posted in the square because everyone knows everyone i hate that my grandparents are here and i hate that my mother came back for them i hate that the kids are dying and no one cares i hate that every good memory has a bad memory right next door like sam's house around the corner from my childhood home i hate the body they pulled from the river i hate the memory of hearing yellow by coldplay at my cousin's funeral because all i could think was that it was too modern for the situation but then he was only seventeen so it makes sense i hate that i was seventeen too and all the boys i knew were there his friends that were supposed to be the tough guys the scary guys i hate that i pretended not to see them sobbing i hate that everything smells of cigarettes here i hate the politics i hate the people i used to love that dont even smile at me on the street i hate that the girl who called me a slut works at my favourite bar i hate every alley and hidden shortcut and i hate that i know them like the back of my hand i hate the same fucking coffee shops i sat in when i was fourteen and scared and now im nineteen and scared and i hate that it's exactly what this town wants i hate that it wants anger i hate that it wants fear i hate that it wants shame i hate that i can give it everything
#thinking about how the two biggest things in my life rn - writing and my degree - are so punctuated by this fucking town#like my biggest fear with my degree isnt what id think of myself if i dropped out or failed#or even what my family would think bc they're nicer to me than i am#it's genuinely the thought of what my hometown lot would say that keeps me up at night#like the thought of my neighbour who told me id never accomplish anything bc my school was shitter than his fancy one#the thought of having to look him in the eye#or the thought of knowing my friends will tell their mums who are still on the PTA with old teachers who thought i was special#like small towns wrap you in this bubble of smallness and it suffocates you and you're so terrified and ashamed of every little mistake#and then my writing GOD i keep thinking about how tbos is probably the best thing ive ever written#and id publish it id genuinely try and get it published#but im just again so scared and ashamed and embarrassed like how do i explain to these assholes that im writing fantasy#and that's not even counting the gay angle bc that's the biggest part#i just am not brave enough for that yet and yeah maybe it's bc im still young but i shouldnt have to be brave to enjoy things to begin with#failure shouldnt require bravery when it's just a fact of life#and i think about if we'd lived in london like my dad wanted us to or if we'd gone to dublin bc my mum loves dublin#or even if we just hadn't come to this fucking town and we'd lived in ANY FUCKING CITY#my dad jokes about how in london he didn't even know his neighbours names and god i just crave that anonymity so fucking much#it's so frustrating and my mum takes it so personally whenever i say i hate the town and my sister says i'll grow out of it just because#she did but i genuinely dont think i will#and maybe that's the creative in me or the queer in me that she just cant relate to but i have always always hated this place#like a guy i have a VERY complicated history with messaged me the other day and we havent talked in TIME#and it was kinda sweet if not awkward just bc of our aforementioned rocky past but one thing he mentioned when i said i was at uni#was that he said really genuinely 'im so happy to hear that; i know you always wanted to get out of [town name]'#like he still remembers that about me even though weve been friends since we were 12 and i havent spoken to him since i was?? 17??#UGH i just hate it here and it's the fact that i'll never escape it either bc i cant totally abandon ship without also#abandoning my family and i refuse to do that and they refuse to leave so now im just stuck with all these CONNECTIONS#sorry to vent lol#ig this could be a poetry thing? we'll say it is instead of me just having another meltdown LMAO#hella goes home
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scribbles-n-lines · 7 months
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best perk(?) of possible(????) memory issues is that i forget most of the stuff ive made/written aside from a vague "this happened" thing sometimes (even though i literally posted this yesterday), which makes rereading fics i made either a great ego-boosting experience or give me so much embarrassment i could explode
anyways i need to shake my past self around in a jar. how did you write this line. im going to explode
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thesunandmoons-blog · 2 years
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30 days.
darlin and david lore no ships rlly
zozo-01 quinn fucking with david by sending him photos of darlin’s injured body and soundbites of them screaming in pain 
i think this is absolutely the best thing i’ve ever posted on this account, if i’m being completely honest. i saw a post from a mutual and i knew i needed to write a story based around it!! pls enjoy :D
tags : @zozo-01 @gavinsdeviant 
cw/tw : kidnapping, hurt/comfort, abuse, blood, humiliation, self-care issues, just very angsty and not happy, but there is a good ending
Word count : 4,521
Fandom : redacted asmr
Pair : sam/darlin, but the relationship is not the main aspect of the story
if you wanna read on ao3!! 
It had been weeks since Darlin’ had been taken. 
Nobody could remember exactly how long, always estimating between 3 to 4 weeks, but Sam knew exactly how long. It was 3 weeks and 4 days. He couldn’t forget that, not when they’d done this for him.
Quinn was in their apartment, Darlin’ with their back against the wall, drifting in and out of consciousness. Sam stood between the wolf and vampire, bearing his fangs at Quinn, damn well knowing it wasn’t going to be enough to make him back off. 
It had been a quick fight between Quinn and Sam, if you could even call it a fight. As hard as Sam had been trying, he’d been too weak, in the moment, to truly beat a vamp turned by old blood. Darlin’ could only sit there, arms draped on the floor as they were slumped against the wall. 
They swallowed a thick lump that had formed in their throat, head lolling back at they were finally able to look at Quinn, him locking eyes with them. Sam was bloodied on the floor, laying on his stomach as his cheek was pressed against the cold floor, also covered in his blood.
“Ju-,” they coughed, spitting out the blood that was in their mouth onto the floor, continuing their sentence by saying, “Just take me. Leave him alone- he’s got nothing to do with this, Quinn.” Again, Darlin’ goes into a coughing fit, and Sam’s eyes were pinned onto them.
He was trying to reach his hand out to them- anything. There was no way they’d just said that. His Darlin’. They never gave into anything like that. 
But this was different. Now Sam was getting the short end of the stick, so short that it might as well have not been there at all. 
Briskly walking towards them, promply stepping on Sam’s hand, Quinn now stood in front of Darlin’, holding his hand out for them. “As much as I would love for you to put up more of a fight, my little puppy, this will have to do.” He bent over at the hips, hooking an arm behind their back and another behind their knees. 
That was the last moment Sam had seen them before he had started drifting in and out of consciousness. Thank the gods that David had asked Sam to text him when they made it back to Darlin’s place, and thank the gods that he hadn’t had the chance to send that message. The consistent buzzing on his phone for the last 10 minutes meant that David was probably on his way, along with back up.
But that didn’t matter. Darlin’ was long gone. And the worst part? 
It was voluntary. 
David and Asher had found Sam on the floor of Darlin’s apartment. The place reeked of blood- Quinn, Sam, and Darlin’s blood, but mainly the latter two. 
It had almost taken a full 24 hours of Sam sleeping, after the healing magic that was poured into him, to recover enough to form coherent sentences to David, explaining everything that had happened. How he was about to text, but Quinn had been waiting for Darlin’. They’d been ambushed, and he couldn’t get the text message through fast enough. How Darlin’ sacrificed themself for his sake, which sent him into a flurry of tears everytime he mentioned it. 
Sam wasn’t usually one to have crying fits, especially not in front of people that weren’t Vincent or Darlin’, but this had to be an exception. Guilt had built itself a nest in his stomach, and it was eating him alive. 
They had to find Darlin’. There was to question about it.
***
Over the past 25 days, there had been a few close calls when it came to finding Darlin’. It was almost like their scent had been spread around random areas of Dahlia, trying to offput and turn the Shaw Pack and Solaire Clan around. As much as everybody hates Quinn, he was damn smart and knew exactly what he was doing.
Over the past 25 days, many messages, photos and voice clippings, had been sent to David’s phone by multiple random numbers. In the beginning, it would catch him by surprise, seeing a random phone number text him, and upon opening the message the feeling of dread and horror overcoming his senses. 
Over the past 25 days, Darlin’ had been beaten, bitten, spit on, anything you can think of, Quinn had done it. Not only had he done it, but he’d photographed it or recorded it and sent it to the Alpha of the esteemed Shaw Pack. 
The videos always had a defiant Darlin’ in them, that low growl or a snarl coming from them before being kicked and beaten back into submission to him. No proof from Quinn had shown that Darlin’ was giving up anytime soon, until that video. 
That one specific video that really fucked David up-
“Hey, mutt, smile for the camera! Go ahead, say hello to those pathetic, wet dogs you call family. C’mon, you can do it!” Darlin’s head had lifted, eyes squinting under the flash of the phone’s camera. “Good puppy! See, now it’s not too difficult to follow some fucking instructions, hm? Oh, little wolf, my soulmate who just wasn’t meant to be.” They’d only whimpered in response, that alone showing David how much Quinn had torn them down. How much he’d managed to tear them apart, leaving them on the concrete piece by piece. Even if he did continue to kick and beat them, he wouldn’t need to. The video had ended right after that.
Not only could David  tell how emotionally and mentally ripped apart they were, but he could see it too. Physically. From what he could see, they were covered in many new bruises, bites, cuts, and... cigarette burns. David had known that Darlin’ used to smoke up until they’d met Sam, but the thought of who threw them into that habit had never crossed his mind. 
Darlin’ had truly given up. 
***
It was day 30, and nobody was letting up the search for Darlin’. There had been look outs and searched day and night, team members taking shifts and switching out for breaks. Even the smallest leads they would trail on. Anything that smelled remotely like Darlin’ or Quinn was followed until the trail was lost.
All trails had been lost at this point. 
They all knew Quinn was fucking with them- taking Darlin’s scent and spreading it wherever he could to throw them off. 
There was one fatal mistake that Quinn had made though. His ego was getting the best of him, but he’d been oblivious to that. 
With his huge ego telling him he was unstoppable, he called David.
David doesn’t think he’s ever picked up the phone at 11:36pm faster in his entire fucking life. Any random numbered phone call and text message was at least answered or read, just to be safe, and he was damn glad that he picked up this call.
“Oh, hello Alpha! It’s so sickening to know you’re still desperately searching for my little wolf. My. Wolf.” As much as David was listening to Quinn’s voice, he was listening to the background, trying to pull out any kind of information from background noise as possible. Leaves rustling. Crunching tree branches under Quinn’s feet. 
He was leaving a forest, or some heavily wooded area.
“Just thought I would give you a curtesy call- celebrating a whole month back together with my little mutt! They’ve finally learned their place again, and let me tell you how great it feels to finally have my property back in my hands. Thanks for roughing them up all those years just so I could tear it all down. Bye bye now! Talk to you soon, puppy.” With venom dripping from his words, Quinn hung up the call.
David immediately was calling anybody he could think of in the pack, including Sam. He finally had some kind of lead and idea of where Darlin’ would be. 
***
Quinn, having just fed on Darlin’, and also being around them every minute of every day, was covered in their scent. Whether that was good or bad, he loved it. He loved all of it. As he walked through the forest, ending his phone call with David, he didn’t realize that he had left a perfectly distinguishable scent trail straight back to the cabin where Darlin’ was being kept. 
He didn’t have a worry in this world- he’d been doing this at least a few times a week. Quinn would get tired of Darlin’, chewing on them and using them how he pleased, and would leave. Would go to try and find another way to fulfill his ‘needs’. Whether that meant more blood ‘cause Darlin’ wasn’t regenerating it fast enough, or that meant something else, he would go to outside sources to obtain it.
He would drain anyone to get his fill. 
***
Anybody David could round up was shifted and sprinting through that forest. 
Asher, Milo, Christian, Arden, anybody. 
Sam. 
The vampire was adamant on finding his Darlin’. His mate. Nothing had mattered to him more in those 30 days than finding them. He will find them and he will find them alive. 
He will also be ripping Quinn apart with his bare fucking hands. 
As skilled as the noses of the wolves were, nothing would beat Sam’s sense of smell to find Darlin’. Sure, all wolves out on the search had used an item of theirs to get an idea of their scent, but Sam didn’t need that. He knew what they smelled like- he couldn’t ever forget something like that. 
With a howl in the distance, Sam stopped his paces, turning to look directly at David, whom he had been searching with. Because Sam wouldn’t have the ability to howl as a call-to-action to the rest of the pack, David had decided it would be best if they went together, just in case. 
Long strides and even faster steps quickly closed the distance between all wolves and the howler- Asher. Asher had picked up on a scent, circling one of the random, old oaks. 
David, this smells like them. It smells like they were almost wiped onto the tree- I don’t know how to describe it. It just smells exactly like that t-shirt Sam gave us. 
He’d given a knowing nod to Asher, looking at the rest of the wolves, but Sam wasn’t sure what was happening. He wasn’t a part of this telepathic link connection thing that Darlin’ had told him about before. 
It wasn’t long before everybody split into 3 groups, David shifting back to his human form. “Sam,” David put his hands on Sam’s shoulders, continuing, “we have a trail. And it’s not going cold this time, I promise you.”
Sam lead David and Asher, who were currently shifted, along the scented trail. The closer they were getting to the cabin, the stronger Darlin’ scent became along the trees. However, the only thing about this scent was that it was becoming mixed with something else. Something metallic, iron like- it clicked. Blood. Darlin’s blood. Lots of it, especially when the cabin came into view. 
The vampire had assumed that David and Asher were using their telepathic link again as they looked at each other, likely sending out some kind of message to the rest of the pack who’d been spread out around the cabin, hiding within the thick forest.
The old, wooden cabin had been incredibly well hidden- if not for the background noise on the phone call that Quinn had graced David with, they would have had no chance of finding this place. It was, quite literally, in the middle of nowhere. 
Everybody had been on the tips of their toes, the still air being thick with tension. For now, there had been no sign of Quinn, no sign of any of his little cohorts, and no sign of general movement. Everybody was slowly closing in on the cabin, sniffing and sensing for any other life besides Darlin’.
They needed to make this quick- if Quinn wasn’t there, there was no telling when he would be back. He could already be on his way for all they know, but they couldn’t think about that right now. All any of them could think of was getting Darlin’ out of there.
With a short, sputtering breath exhaled through his nose, Sam motioned for David to continue, not sensing any immediate threat around them. Sam had noticed the rest of the pack, obviously besides David and Asher, surrounding the cabin, backs facing it to keep some kind of look out. With how thick the surrounding forest was, they would need as many eyes on lookout as possible- and knowing this was Quinn’s doing? They could probably use even more help.
Noting Sam’s signal, David shifted back, readjusting his shirt as he slowly closed in to the front door of the cabin. Asher was right behind him, and Sam followed the two wolves. David pressed his ear against the door, but there wasn’t any sound from inside that would indicate that anybody was inside. 
A quiet jiggle of the doorknob, which could have been the loudest thing Sam’s heard in a while, besides his own heartbeat in his ears, had David now pushing open the door slowly. The creaking of the door was subtle, but loud enough for a small figure in the corner to flinch.
Darlin’. 
***
They looked limp. David thought they were unconscious, or dead, until they’d flinched. David’s eyes flooded with relief, even though they looked... worse for wear. 
Darlin’ was, and this is not an exaggeration, coated and caked in their own blood, almost from head to toe. Their eyes were glossy with tears, but had a hollowness to them, like there was no more life in them. Darlin’s clothes had been ripped to shreds- it almost looked as if they weren’t even wearing clothes at this point. The exposure showed the new markings they’d received over the last 30 days. It was horrific. They were totally exposed, hands cuffed in front of them, but chained to the wall. Even their ankles had been cuffed up and chained to the wall. Darlin’ really had no chance of getting out of that.
There was a laundry list of physical differences that David could list upon seeing them initially: Eyes were faded of any light or hope, they were coated in blood, they were covered in new bite marks, cuts, bruises, cigarette burn marks, they’d looked like they lost a bit of weight (probably from not being fed properly, and being fed on too much), paler than normal, ratted up hair (also caked in blood and dirt), chapped lips, and the list could go on. You name it, it would probably be on there. 
Darlin’s eyes held an initial panic when seeing David walk through the door cautiously, his hands up, palms forward. “Tanker? Can you hear me? It’s... it’s David.” His voice was as tough as it had always been, but the crack in his voice showed everything he’d felt in that past month. 
Their eyes were still glossed over, David immediately recognizing the shine that treaded down their cheeks now. Darlin’s entire form trembled, folded into itself as small as they could get. Their head was tucked down to their chest as far as they could get it, using their hands to shield David away. “N....no..” Darlin’s voice was raw, quiet, and held so much bottled up emotion. 
David stopped in his place, about half way in the cabin between Darlin’ and the front door. Asher had quietly followed behind, hands by his sides as he made himself visible to Darlin’. A quiet creak in the floorboard had Darlin’s eyes looking his direction. Their eyes went wide, looking more than terrified, as they saw not Asher, but the figure looming behind him in the darkess.
Sam.
Darlin’s entire figure no longer trembled, but fully shook. Their chest was heaving as they clawed at their neck, feeling like they were suffocating. They were pushing their bare feet into the dirty concrete, trying to force themself back into the wall they were chained up to. Darlin’s head was shaking side to side, tears now rapidly falling down their cheeks as their reality hit them. Everybody had gone there to save them, but it had really been too late.
They didn’t want to be saved anymore. They didn’t want to continue putting the pack at risk, the Solaire clan at risk-
Sam at risk. 
Darlin’ had continuously thought about the last moment they’d seen Sam before letting Quinn take them. His bloodied and bruised body, unmoving on the floor in front of them. In their home. Their shared safe space that couldn’t be trusted anymore. 
David had turned back to look at Asher, the beta giving him a knowing nod, as if they’d just had a full conversation. Asher turned on his heel, placing a gentle hand on Sam’s unmoving shoulder. “Listen, buddy, we’ve gotta get you outta here, just for a couple of minutes. David’s got this covered, but I think all of us being in here is overwhelming them.” Sam’s lips were pressed thin, and all he could do was nod. Sam could trust the alpha with everything in his soul- he knew David would do anything to protect Darlin’, but that didn’t mean he wanted to take even his eyes off of them now. He never wanted to let them go, not again.
Now seeing that the other 2 men had left the cabin, and it was only David, Darlin’s sobs and trembles lessened, but didn’t fully stop. The alpha wolf was taking small, slow steps towards them, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat as he made his approach. His hands were still perched up, slowly lowering and holding them out for Darlin’ to examine before he made any attempt to physically touch them. 
“Tanker, we’re here. We’re taking you home. I know you’re... definitely terrified right now, but it’s going to be okay. We’ve been looking for you and we’ve finally found you. You aren’t being taken away from us again. Ever again.” His words were stiff, tight with tension and anger, but not directed at them, of course not. 
Darlin’s gaze was at the floor. The shock that was plastered on David’s face after seeing and hearing what they said next was incredible-
The corners of their lips slightly turned up and they said, “No... I-I’m gonna stay.” Darlin’ coughed from the amount they were speaking, many words not leaving their mouth since they’d been taken.  “I can’t risk your lives, not again. Especially not Sam’s life.. He’s my mate, David. I can’t do that again.” 
David was appalled. He was... totally speechless. His head just shook rapidly, kneeling down onto the ground, hands gently grasping Darlin’s shoulders. “Tanker, it wasn’t a question. I’m not leaving you here. You’re my family- you’re everyone’s family here! We care about you and love you more than you could understand and we are getting you out of here.” David was starting to lose his cool- Darlin’s little speech really threw him for a loop. That was definitely not what he was expecting.  
“I can’t promise I’ll go down easy if you’re trying to get me outta here, David.” 
***
It was an understatement to say that David, Sam, and the rest of the Shaw pack didn’t pull Darlin’ out of there easily. There was kicking and screaming, all sheer determination from Darlin’ to be put down and left alone. Left there in that dirty cabin where Quinn would eventually kill them, and all of their issues would just disappear. 
The exhaustion that poured from Darlin’ was immeasurable. They’d fought with David for a good 15 minutes before they’d given up fighting with him, knowing they wouldn’t win this. They’d gone practically limp in David’s arms, unchained from the wall and being carried out quickly to David’s truck. 
Group A, as they’d called themselves, consisting of David, Asher, and Sam were now rushing themselves back to David’s truck, Darlin’s whimpering form curled up in David’s arms. Every movement, bump, or shift made Darlin’s body ache, groans and half-assed snarls leaving their mouth, followed by quiet apologies from David. 
Asher was following behind the three of them in his wolf form, per David’s request, just in case anything came through the connective link. As soon as David had gently sat Darlin’ down in his back seat, Asher barked at him, eyes thin and trying to get David to shift.
 Sam was in the back seat with them, Darlin’s weak figure leaned up against him. Their eyes were lidded, looking like cresent moons, and their breathing was slow. The violet bags that were stamped underneath his eyes were proof how much he’d worried about them. His hands were very gently holding their shoulders, just trying to keep them propped up. There was an initial stiffness in Darlin’s body when Sam touched them, even though he’d asked permission first. However, their body had eventually relaxed back into him, head lolling onto his shoulder as their eyes shut fully.
Sam’s eyes peered over their figure outside of the truck’s door, watching as Asher and David sprinted off in their shifted forms. He could only assume Quinn had returned, or something had happened with one of the other members. He wanted to go with- wanted to rip that leech’s head off himself- but there was nothing he wanted more than to be with his partner in that moment. His Darlin’. His mate. 
***
Darlin’ had been home for 2 weeks now.
Quinn had been dead for 2 weeks now, curtesy of the hands of David Shaw.
As much as David had insisted that Darlin’ stay in his guest bedroom, they refused, not wanting to take the pity offer (it definitely wasn’t a pity offer, but there was a heavy guilt looming over Darlin’s mind).
Darlin’ stayed at their apartment, allowing Sam to stay there as long as he wanted as well. He’d easily taken up that offer, not ever wanting his Darlin’ out of his sight again. Sam knew that wasn’t always going to be possible, but he was going to try his hardest to keep them safe. 
The first week had been hell. Darlin’ wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating, wasn’t drinking water- hell they weren’t doing anything. They’d just lay in bed, unmoving. Sam didn’t know what to do- he didn’t know how to take care of them. They’d ignored any water or food he’d brought to them, didn’t answer his questions, didn’t respond when he’d try to start up conversations. Hell, they were barely looking at him. 
It had been during that second week that they’d finally started getting themself out of bed again. They’d started drinking small amounts of water, making small talk with Sam, responding to text messages again. Darlin’ was making as much of an effort as they could to integrate themself back into normal life, including all of the bad habits they carried around with them. 
Smoking was something Darlin’ had stopped after meeting Sam. They’d fallen off the old habit, and had only indulged when they were incredibly stressed out, but this was different. They’d gone back to smoking a handful everyday, Sam even catching them trying to put the cigarettes out on their own skin after smoking.
It’s what I deserve. I put all of you through hell, the least I deserve is to feel that same kind of pain. 
Sam couldn’t believe the shit they were still putting themself through. The cigarettes, not drinking or eating enough, still not sleeping? If they’d kept this up they’d be dead before the end of the week.
The vampire was trying his best to get some kind of sustenance into his mate, and his pleading eyes only fueled the guilt that nested in their stomach. Darlin’ was slowly trying to get back into eating and drinking water again- they didn’t want to upset Sam more than he already was. 
They could tell how exhausted he was. His eyes were constantly bloodshot, constant eyebags, and he was always fretting over them, the little things. Darlin’ knew his intentions meant well, but they hated feeling as if they were made of glass and everybody had to tiptoe around them to make sure they were okay.
The first pack meeting that Darlin’ had attended with Sam after being returned home was tense. The air was thick and heavy, and the silence that loomed over the den was deafening. The two of them walked in, hand in hand, taking seats in the back. Darlin’ would normally just prop themself up against a wall next to Sam, but they knew they wouldn’t last that long on their feet without their knees giving out. 
Asher and David slowly made their ways over to Darlin’ and Sam after the meeting had wrapped up, just wanting to do a general check-in. David’s keen eyesight was quick to notice the new circular burns on Darlin’s arms, his eyes peeking over to Sam. Asher tried keeping the conversation light hearted, knowing that David would be tense, moreso than usual, now that Darlin’ was back. Both of them had been a little more than surprised to see Darlin’ showing up to the pack meetings again, honestly thinking that they’d completely skip out from now on.
That wasn’t brought up, though. The guilt of this entire situation was so obviously glinting in Darlin’s eyes, and the last thing anybody wanted or needed to do was make that worse. 
***
5 Weeks had passed since Darlin’ was brought back home, and Quinn was sent to hell. 
It was a long, hard road back to recovery, and it would still take many months for Darlin’ to become the closest version of themself that they had been before Quinn had taken them. 
The cuts, bruises, bites, and markings would slowly fade overtime, half of them disappearing from their skin and the other half calling their skin home for the rest of their life.
Sam’s purple bags had slowly lessened in vibrancy, turning back to that usual paled color under his eyes. 
Darlin’s general physical health was slowly upping in condition again. Sam had made sure to keep the both of them on a feeding schedule, making sure they were both getting in the nutrients they needed to survive. Darlin’ moreso, but Sam was working himself to the bone to make sure they were okay, and his mate wouldn’t stop talking his damn ear off until he finally started taking care of himself again. 
Things were slowly falling back into the normal groove again. It felt nice- not living in that same flood of fear that they’d been living in for the past few months. Quinn was dead. They didn’t have to be afraid anymore. 
Things hadn’t been okay for so, so long. But they would be. Things would be okay again. 
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5mind · 1 year
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(( imma be honest, before i made this blog i was actually giving up on writing in general so if it sometimes looks like i have no idea what im doing , its because i dont fdasfsgda
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reckless-glitch · 10 months
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Hi! Can I ask what Free to Fall or Weight of Silver are about?
-Sincerely, your [usually] smut demanding anon
lol Hi! I can give you a little summary of both sure
Free to Fall is about Tera a newly disabled and newly orphaned girl entering her sophomore year of college just going through the motions of living and dealing with unending survivors guilt. She isolates herself to the extreme and escapes into little daydreams about her philosophy professor to keep herself from slipping into self destructive tendencies. One day while moderately lost in the woods near campus her professor finds her and they begin an intense and decidedly unethical relationship.
It's a theological supernatural exploration of the choices people make when desperately throwing themselves at the chance of connection
Weight of Silver is about what became of Judas after he betrayed Jesus. It's about hopelessness and guilt and new beginnings soured by tragedy. After wandering unable to die for 50 long lonely years Judas meets a Greek courtesan who he falls terrifyingly in love with. Determined to get this right and bring some good into the world he marries her and they start a lovely little family with their newborn triplets. The babies however, are not human at all and after an accident which kills their mother Judas realizes that he has ushered in a whole new horror into the world.
This one's a vampire creation myth and it is full horror with very little relief
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According to my journal from high school, I wanted to write a book. It was on my "things to do before I die" list.
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And according to this disc (which probably contains a word doc file), I did in fact start writing a book. But I have no memory of it.
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gg-selvish · 1 year
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whenever janet sends me the new chapter of fbc to beta i rub my hands together like a little fly
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salemoleander · 2 years
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Currently trying to plot a very large fic, and needed to get a scene fragment out of my head of the climax. And we're in the middle of a dramatic/ emotional scene, people are crying and having a heart to heart.. and I only got about 4 lines in before I was rudely interrupted by the need to add:
"The sniffling was now coming from both of them (as well as from the vents above- Zedaph was not a subtle crier)."
Like sure. Okay yeah he would 100% be spying on this shit. These tiny blockmen live in my head rent free
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isastrxnd · 2 years
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I finally finished Divergent today, and holy shit.
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museumgiftshoperaser · 9 months
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the doc for my bigbang fic has reached 50k why do i do this to myself ahhhhhhhhh
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eddiernunson · 10 months
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Really Drives Me Mad | Bfs Dad!Eddie Munson x Reader | 18+
Master List | Next Part
My best friend tells me that he's a keeper
I really like Dylan a lot But Dylan's dad He really drives me mad With his faded tats Sings in a cover band Yeah he's super hot with his ripped dad bod Oh my, oh my god I like Dylan a lot But oh god I love Dylan's dad
I know y'all weren't expecting this... Well neither was I. It like invaded my mind and begged me to write it. (this is the dirtiest thing ive ever written.)
Word Count: 7.5k
Summary: You've been dating Dylan Munson for a little bit, and it's going well, or at least you feel like it is. Despite everything right with Dylan you can't help but feel uneasy...then you meet Eddie Munson, his dad... and find yourself wet at the sight of him. (reader is in her 20s, Eddie probably in his 40s or so)
Warnings: masturbation (both), voyeurism (both), lot of perv!Eddie, reader ends up cheating, just some dirty stuff. MINORS DNI.
As you sit cross legged on your best friend’s garage couch mindlessly watching some Netflix while she took another hit, your phone dings, a text message you’ve been waiting on.
“Ooh, speak of the devil.” She teases you, putting the bong aside to peek at what Dylan texted you. You roll your eyes at her, answering him to pick you up in the morning. “What did he say?”
Her eyebrows were wagging over-exaggeratingly, and you narrow your eyes. “Just asked when I wanted to get picked up for our trip to the beach tomorrow.”
“Are you excited?” She asks, her voice suggestive and you can hear more excitement in her voice alone than you felt about the trip.
“Yes.” You lie to her, because if you told the truth, you knew you’d hear about it.
Dylan was a good guy. You met him through a singles mixer you went to for shits and giggles and ended up meeting him. He had no business being there, his league was not the type of girl to go to a Fajita style mixer even for laughs. He was so overwhelmingly better looking than every other guy in that mixer that scooping him up before anyone dug their claws in was the logical thing to do.
It wasn’t that you didn’t find him hot.
Dylan ended up being almost everything you said you were looking for. Stable. Ready for commitment. Willing to go the extra mile.
He was stable in every way it takes most men into their 30s to figure out.
You knew he was a rare find as someone dating in your 20s. Yet, there was just something missing.
It wasn’t anything you could describe, and each time you had expressed the feeling people seem to dismiss it, claiming it stemmed from every failed relationship you’ve had. Logically, you should be head over heels over this man who is so sweet and willing to do the most.
But the feeling just nagged at your skull.
For the sake of not feeling guilty and seeing that same bug-eyed expression on your best friend you lie. It felt weird to have to lie to her just to seem grateful for what life has provided to you on a silver platter. So, until an actual reason for this hesitancy presents itself, the dates and the heavy make out sessions and whatnot will continue.
The ego boost he provides when he sends you drooling emojis when you send a bikini selfie for what you’re wearing the next day certainly doesn’t help your case.
“I’m so glad you found him, he’s so sweet.” She mentions off-hand.
You nod, gritting your teeth.
-
Dylan is on time, as always, prompt and proper to pick you up from your apartment. He texts to let you know he was outside, and you grab your beach bag of snacks and your towel and do a final assessment in the mirror.
Cute pink bikini that hung by a string sitting high on your hips, barely hidden by the long cut out dress you wore. Your bag matched the bikini, and you wore some tiny sunnies to put the whole look together. If you’re gonna date someone as good looking might as well look the part.
As you approached his chevy truck he was animatedly bug eyed while looking at you, his brown eyes popping out of their socket while he drummed his steering wheel. His zest and energy for life was always so contagious. You smiled at him, your cheeks burning as you climbed into the passenger seat.
“Hi baby.” He greets you, kissing you softly. You find yourself grinning into it.
He pulls out onto the main road for the forty-five-minute trip to the lake most people go for a weekend getaway. About five minutes down the road, Dylan pats his cargo shorts down real quick and grunts in disappointment.
“What?”
“Forgot the parking pass for the beach lot. I literally got that for fifteen dollars so I wouldn’t have to pay twenty at the till.” He explains, making a sudden left turn.
You’ve been to his house before, and he usually takes you there when his dad is either at work or just not home. You weren’t sure why, his dad seemed like a decent dude.
(From what you’ve heard anyway)
Maybe, like you, he wasn’t ready for meeting the parents yet.
“Oh, I think my dad will be home around now. Hope that’s okay.” He says, as if you had just spoken aloud. “I think it was time for you to meet him, anyways.”
Shit. Nope. He was ready. You were no where ready for him to meet your mom, who already loved him just from your best friend’s descriptions.
“Oh. Sure.” You glance down to your outfit, something worn not knowing you were about to meet parents. “Are you sure I’m dressed for that though?”
“My dad has met girlfriends in worse positions.” Dylan laughs. “Trust me. This is a better meeting.”
This helps you very little.
Five minutes down the road he pulls into the starter home he and his dad have been living in his whole life, a sweet little bungalow with three rooms and two bathrooms. It was by no means anything to cough at, certainly impressive for a mechanic, but Dylan seemed to behave incredibly sheepishly every time.
Dylan pulls in, and your heart races as you see his dad’s truck in the driveway. As Dylan gets out to open your door, he can feel your nervousness. “Can I just stay here?” You ask him, unsure why he needed you to go in for a pass in the first place.
“Oh I promise he doesn’t bite.” He jokes.
You give him a weak smile, holding his hand as you walked to the front door. The door doesn’t need a key, swinging open and the bright sunlight giving you both a shadow against the hardwood flooring. Dylan walks in, calling for his dad’s name. You squeeze his hand tighter out of nervousness. Eventually the sounds of his creaky steps are heard from the kitchen where Dylan is scanning for his pass, signalling his father coming down the steps.
You were facing towards the stove across the island counter, watching Dylan go through the drawers for it.
“Woah, thought you’d be halfway to the beach by now, you were so damn excited.” You hear his dad’s voice, and there’s something about it, his tone leaning towards a tease that enticed you to turn your head towards him.
Your jaw dropped. Or it didn’t. Certainly felt like a moment for your mouth to open in amazement. In a split second you knew where Dylan got his good looks, and it was only a fraction of how mouth watering his dad was.
He wonders in with sweatpants low on his hips wearing a band t-shirt and his long curly hair was wet from a shower. As he shuffled by to the fridge, the scent of aftershave invaded your nose and somehow it just went straight to your core. He was certainly fit even for a dad, slight dad bod but nothing to poke at, you could tell he worked with his hands.
“Forgot my pass.” He mutters, looking through another drawer.
“I saw it this morning, so I put it in your bag as you were heading out.” His dad mentions off hand, getting the ingredients for a bowl of cereal out. As he lifted his hands over his head revealing a tattoo on his tummy and the treasure trail saliva entered your mouth like water bursting through a man-made dam.
“Seriously?” Dylan dead pans. He turns to you, and you switch your glance to seem innocent like you haven’t been eye-fucking his dad. “I’m gonna go double check it’s in there. Just stay here be right back.” He kisses you on the forehead and leaves without giving you a chance to protest.
“Nice, to meet you, by the way.” He says in a gruff voice as he pours the sugary cereal into the bowl.
“Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Munson.” Your voice sounded strained; you were hoping you were just imagining it.
He lets out a noise in disgust, his face scrunching up comically. “Oh god. Don’t call me that. Call me Eddie. Never Mr. Munson. Gross.”
You smile closed mouthed at his genuine disgust for it, and Eddie presents a smile as if your laughter was the long-term goal. “Nice to meet you, Eddie.”
“Much better.” He praises you, and it might be the closest thing you’ll ever get to the kind of praise you wanted from him, the kind where you find yourself on your knees in the kitchen, but you happily accepted it. Any crumbs you would happily take.
He could spit on you, and you would thank him.
Oh. That’s…new.
That wasn’t something you felt with Dylan at all. If Dylan had decided to spit on your face during sex, you would call the police. It would turn you off so fast you would kick him off you.
“Going to Lake Maureen?” He asks you, supposedly making small talk.
“Nope.” You tell him. “Museum.”
Eddie tilted his head, and from his shoulder’s shaking and the slow smile you could tell he was laughing.
“Yes.” You affirm.
“Where did you meet again?” Eddie asks as he puts away the milk, his voice seeming to extend from a thought he doesn’t share.
“Oh, a mixer.”
“Not the church mixer.” Eddie tilts his head, seeming genuinely fearful it was the truth.
You confirm that yes, it was the church mixer.
Eddie grabs a mug to pour the coffee you hadn’t noticed had he put on. As his hands cup a graphic mug you couldn’t see the comic for, you see the silver rings on his fingers and if your core wasn’t heated up before, it certainly was now.  He leans forward, taking a sip of straight black coffee for a minute. “Sweetheart. You’re far too pretty to be going to a goddamn mixer. No wonder he was so fucking enthralled when he got home that day.”
You feel your face heat up at the nickname followed by him calling you pretty. Your thighs squeeze together as you attempt to force your heart back into your chest where it belonged. Somehow your extremities were freezing, and all the heat was centered in your pussy, just soaked from his presence alone.
He could tell you weren’t taking the compliment seriously. “Seriously. If he fucks it up and you end up single again no more fucking mixers for you.”
“Not like I had any more choices.” You defend yourself, not knowing why his insistence turned you on so much.
Eddie rolls his eyes as if he didn’t believe you. His mouth opens to tell you something, and the sound of Dylan bursting through the front door seems to cut him off. “Oh, you should’ve told me, we could’ve been almost there by now. Come on, baby! See you dad!”
The door slams, and you guessed you were supposed to follow him. “Um, you were gonna say something?” and the mystery is just too much for you.
“Oh. Was I? Totally forgot.” Eddie shrugs, putting his coffee mug down, having chugged that entire cup within the conversation. “Have fun.”
He scoops another spoonful of sugary cereal in his mouth, the dimples on his face prominent but the smile devious.
That smile would haunt you for the next twelve hours.
-
The trip with Dylan was alright, he swore up and down it was the best trip and it just brought you both closer as a couple. You probably would’ve agreed. A trip to the beach with Dylan Munson sounded enticing and sexy and adventurous for the most part until you met his dad.
Now thoughts of his flexed forearms has he gripped the counter while talking to you, wet hair smelling beautifully of the musk shampoo he used invaded your mind. Dylan fingering you on the beach under your skirt was yes, smoking hot, but as you imagined a certain someone else doing the same it brought you to your orgasm much quicker and much harder. Dylan figured he must be doing something right.
Guilt evaded you as you knew what the hell you were doing was wrong. You now had an excuse to get rid of him, you were far more into his dad than you ever were into him, and it should’ve been a sign.
But if you broke up with him now, you wouldn’t be able to see his dad. Yet as you took a walk down the shoreline into a cave and your eyes close picturing certain ringed fingers gripping your hips as Dylan did it made the sneaking off and the public sex that much hotter.
Seems you were sluttier than your initial sex life led you to believe. Turns out, you just haven’t met a man you wanted to be slutty for. Public sex seemed fun in theory, always so nerve wrecking in practice.
Public sex with Eddie felt like you wanted to get caught with him, fully enjoying his cock and letting people see. Voyeurism mixed with public embarrassment was suddenly hot and you got so into it that Dylan expressed how excited he was to fuck you on the next hike you took together, something he has expressed much interest in, but you denied bashfully every time.  
Because with Dylan sex wasn’t all encaptivating. Sure he could make you cum, but you were never ready to rip off his clothes in a heartbeat. The moment you saw Eddie your fingers started to itch for that damn low sitting sweatpants for them to droop just a little…bit…more.
Dylan drops you off with a romantic wet kiss, and you walk into the door of your apartment in a daze. Before you can even think about it, you find yourself on your bed, your skirt around your ankles and two of your fingers down your bikini bottoms.
You start to take them off but there’s a voice you picture saying, “No, no. Keep them on like the whore you are.” It was not Dylan’s.
You listened to it, pretending to rub your clit in front of him watching. You could see a wild eye on his face, picturing him not being able to touch you driving him mad. The heat that expands into your pussy from that thought alone drives your hips for more friction. “Oh so fucking needy, yeah?” You imagine him saying to you, and fuck, you couldn’t not think of him being good at dirty talk. “Need this cock, don’t ya?”
The image of him slowly working the elastic waist-band of his sweatpants made you moan aloud, needily grinding on your own fingers.
“Too damn bad. You’re just gonna have to make yourself cum, like the slut you are.”
The slight foreplay you were accidentally given all day through your own imagination mixed with how fucking wet you were brought you to a quick orgasm, fluttering in your extremities as you continued imagining the wild eyes on Eddie’s face or the firm voice as he didn’t give you a choice on your dating pool.
This was the first truly earth-shattering orgasm you’ve ever felt in your life. One that you truly had to recover from…and it was from just picturing this man.
Something in you wanted the real thing, and you were terrified of how willing you were to go through with it, and equally as terrified of going through life wondering what it could’ve been like
If sex with Eddie Munson was as good as the orgasm you gave yourself, you might have to be Dylan’s stepmom, because you just found what was missing.
-
“Hey baby.” Dylan says, welcoming you as he opens the door.
You hold your pillow and a duffle bag sits on your shoulder for a sleepover, and the shorter shorts with a tank top you wear signalling you were ready for a night in. As you pass by him, Dylan gives out a low whistle to how well your ass is shown off in the pair of shorts you wore. They were so well fitting he could see you were either wearing a thong or nothing, but you could tell it turned him on. While this gave you a confidence boost, he wasn’t the target audience.
When you requested the sleepover Dylan warned you his dad would be there. Good. You assured him that would be fine. That was the goal.
“Hi, sweetheart!” Eddie calls down to you, and the smile invades your face before you could stop it.
“Hi, Mr. Munson!” You call out, and the sound of gagging is heard. “I meant Eddie!”
“Oh, I forgot he gets everyone to call him by his first name, like a lame youth pastor.” Dylan rolls his eyes, tugging on your hand to bring you to the couch in the living room. “Movie?”
You nod jerkily. Dylan works around you, getting a blanket, popcorn, and the movie all set up. He turns down the lights, winking at you suggestively as he does so.
Less than five minutes into the movie, the beginning credits still lingering on to the actors he leans in with an open mouth, his hand making its way to your hip. With the smell of him still fresh, being able to smell him on the couch you were on, it was easy to get eagerly into the kissing. This encouraged Dylan, of course confusing your eagerness for him. He reaches down, placing two of his fingers over your clothed pussy.
You moan lightly, and he shushes you softly. Mentally you roll your eyes, because he was telling you to be quiet because his dad was home.
You were hooking up with him on his couch because his dad was home. You listen to him anyway, and he starts to rub in small circles, you moan even higher, imagining he could hear you and getting off to it. “Shh, baby.” Dylan whispers. “Oh, you’re wet. Fuck.”
He slips his hands into your shorts, leaning you down to rub your pussy and attack your neck at the same time. “Pussy feels…mazing.” Dylan mutters between the slobbery neck kisses he gives you. It was enough for you to picture him, but suddenly Eddie coming downstairs right now without knowing what you were doing got you off even more.
“Eat me out?” You ask him, and ever the gentleman he smiles devilishly at you as he crawls down. He goes to place the blanket over his head, and you stop him. “Wanna see your face.”
Okay, you wanted to see Eddie see your pussy as his son went down on you, but it made Dylan eager enough to dig in in a way you haven’t seen from him yet.
You whine from the hot pleasure it gave you, you grind on his face, the heat focused on your pussy in a way that has never happened before. The idea of Eddie accidentally walking in on you but watching instead of saying anything gets you off so easily Dylan is feeling your juices wet his chin and your ass like it never has before.
“Greedy baby.” He mumbles, placing two fingers into you and giving kisses to your thighs as he pumps them.
“Gonna cum soon, Dyl.” You warn him.
Luckily, Dylan knows it means to keep doing what he’s doing. You were close, but the sound of footsteps upstairs followed by a door closing pushed you over the edge, knowing he could very well be going to his room from elsewhere, but hoping he was at the top of the stairs.
Just the possibility of him being at the top pushed you over. “Holy shit.” Dylan mutters, crawling up to you. “Must’ve been riled up, huh.”
“Yeah.” You tell him, suddenly feeling Dylan’s boner poking the inside of your knee. “Mere, I wanna help you.”
“No, I wanna fuck you, let’s go to my room.”
His room…down the hall…where there’s a better chance he could hear you. “Sure!”
-
Eddie Munson was sure there was something out to get him. The moment your pretty fucking face greeted him in his kitchen when he wondered down fresh from a shower he was sure there was something laughing at this pure misery.
The smile on your face, the smell of your sweet perfume, the way your skirt hugged your hips all melted him into one pot. When you told him you met Dylan at a fucking mixer, he wanted to shoot the person who made you feel like you were worthy of being ogled at by a bunch of singles at an awkward church mixer.
A church mixer.
He hated that Dylan liked them, always said only weirdos go there and was sure Dylan as exaggerating when he expressed how gorgeous and out of his league you were.
His heart freezing at the sight of you sit perched on one of his stools, shyly watching your boyfriend, even only from the back made him wonder if angels were real. Fuck, he didn’t ask for any proof of your beauty when offered to show your Instagram, but he wouldn’t have believed it.
He spent that entire first conversation doing everything he could to be a fucking father figure and remind himself you were dating his son. He was not hitting on you at a bar, he was your boyfriend’s dad.
Somehow that just made the forbidden part about it that much hotter.
He felt like a pervert as the scent of your shampoo jumped out at him when he passed by you for the milk, and he had wanted to stop in place and take a big inhale. Felt like an even bigger pervert as he saw the string of your bikini bottom sitting high on your hip peaking out of your skirt and he just wanted to get a shot of that underskirt.
Every thought he had about you as your wit came through the conversation, he wondered what the hell you were doing with Dylan. He loved his kid, but you deserved better than what he knew his kid would provide.
He knew about Dylan that he’d be a great husband one day. Someone reliable and trustworthy enough to build a life with.
He didn’t want that for you. He wanted you to have something mind-blowing and earth shattering, something intoxicating. Something that made you feel the way he felt just by smelling your goddamn shampoo. Your teeny tiny bikini with your hair up in a messy bun with cute little sunglasses all somehow went to his cock, and he was glad you were called over before he said something even more stupid.
Eddie rolled his eyes at your claim there wasn’t a bigger dating pool, opening his mouth to retort--“Oh, you should’ve told me, we could’ve been almost there by now. Come on, baby! See you dad!”
The door slams, and that concluded the end of that conversation. “Um, you were gonna say something?” you ask him, and he wondered if the intrigue on your face was something he just imagined.
“Oh. Was I? Totally forgot.” Eddie lies. I was gonna say I am proof there is a bigger dating pool than you would believe, sweetheart… but he knew it would’ve said something he couldn’t unsay.
Dylan told him you were coming over for a sleepover, and he and Dylan’s room were only separated by the bathroom. Eddie might use the basement for the night because he didn’t trust his perverted mind not to seek you out and look at what little pjs you have chosen to wear. He gave you space out of respect when you arrived, wondering if it was flirting when you called him Mr. Munson.
Suddenly a noise that Eddie could only describe as the doorbell to heaven (or hell with what his mind was thinking) reached the door he had kept open for this very reason.
He kept his tv playing and sneaked off to the top of the stairs, hoping to catch his kid getting you off while you moaned under the covers. The treat he was given was far better, the hand over your tight ass shorts feeling you up as you leaned back and whined all high pitched. Eddie’s cock was so hard at the moment not touching it would be like self-neglect.
He backed up against the wall by the stairs, listening to your moans as he got you off, desperately wishing it was his fingers in your wet heat. He imagined your scrunched up face as you made those stunning noises, starting to stroke himself. A pause occurs, your blissed out voice asking him to eat you out. He bites back a moan at wanting to taste you, wanting to get all up in those juices and to show him how much you turned him on. He leans over the wall into the stair entry, expecting the blanket to be covering you but instead being met with your pussy on full display.
A low guttural moan escapes his throat, fucking into his fist and pretending it was you bent over for him instead, whining the same exact way. He knew you would have a pretty pussy, but this was just un-fucking fair.
You warn Dylan you were about to cum, and that pushes him over his own edge, and he suddenly has a mess he needs to clean up all over his fist. God he wanted you to clean it, to suck it all up. He was making himself hard again and he had to flee to his fucking bedroom to wash up.
Suddenly the creak of the stairs erupts as he is cleaning himself up, and Dylan’s door closes. Oh. They’re…continuing.
Your moans are suddenly loud, and Eddie finds himself hard again as he realizes he’s hearing you being fucked. Oh, he knew you were a fucking dirty slut.
Just fucking knew it. Something that hasn’t happened since he was in his 20s, but he’s ready to jerk himself off within minutes of just cumming. “Yeah, my whore being fucked open, letting everyone hear how good she feels, oh shit.” Eddie mutters to himself, right next to his door.
He ends up finishing at the same time you did, which didn’t take either one of you very long.
-
The next morning you wake next to Dylan sleeping with a big smile on his face. To him, that was the best sex you’ve ever had together. Mixed with your adventure at the beach last week, you guys were doing better than ever.
 To you, it was only amazing because you kept thinking of Eddie fucking you and it did everything for your core. You get up in the tiny pair of pajamas you had packed, something that barely covered your ass and headed downstairs for some breakfast.
As you were leant down to assess the cereals, you heard the stride of someone come in behind you.
Eddie walks in behind you, holding back a swear as he sees your pussy peaking out of your pajama bottoms. A gentleman, and not knowing you fully reciprocated every horny thought, he ignores it and hopes you sit up.
You don’t, leaning even more forward and making a show of wondering what to eat. Eddie inhales, allowing himself to watch you. You turn around to him jerking his head away, and you felt some pride in getting his attention. “Morning.” You greet him, offering a bowl for him.
He rejects it. “Not hungry.”
“Oh.” You pour cereal, and Eddie focuses on not staring at your beaded nipples peaking through the tiny silk top you wore.
“Fuck.” He whispered, the boner growing.
“Something wrong?” You ask him innocently, and knowing this was working to your benefit made you nervous but eager.
“Lots to do today.” Like jerk off another three times.
“Like what?” You asked, taking a spoonful of cereal even though you had no appetite from the butterflies in your stomach.
“Oh not much.” Eddie wonders to you, and by reaching over you to grab the cereal he wonder if he could sneak a smell from your shampoo.
You sit up as he leans away, and you are so close you can see just how gorgeous he is. God, those brown eyes. “Do you have any…one to do?” You ask, glancing back and forth between his pretty lips and his even prettier eyes. You didn’t even know which ones to focus on.
Eddie leans in a bit to you, just ghosting over your lips. “Are you sure…that you want this?”
You nod, your eyes glazing over in want as the arousal in your gut suddenly exploded into a need.
“Cause…cause if we do this there is no going back. If your pussy…” he inhales sharply, taking a breath of your hair. “is as good as I imagine, there’s no way I’m giving you back.”
This sentence turns you into gelatin, and you lean forward to finally kiss him, his lips rough as he seemingly forgets how to act for a moment.
His brain finally catches up and he grabs onto you, inhaling and messy kisses, and grabby hands all at once as he tries to do everything he’s wanted to. Your hands make their way into his hair, and it was as soft as you pictured it. His lips messily kiss down your jaw onto your neck and you let out a whine. He smiles widely at that. “Good. One I made. Needed that.”
“You heard me…yesterday?” You asked, wetter from the idea of it.
“Heard you? Fucking came to it.” He swears, as he continues an assault on your neck. You moan in response, your hips involuntarily grinding up. “Come on, upstairs.”
You almost wanted to get caught by Dylan, but to keep it going longer you follow Eddie giddily upstairs as he trips over himself and you felt like a goddamn teenager. You follow him into his room, and the curtains were blackout curtains, the lights turned off giving the illusion of everything being dark. “Can we turn on the lights?” You ask, delicately. “I wanna see you.”
Eddie turns on his dimmer switch light so it was low, and the look in his eye as he approaches you sat on his bed had a level of lust in them that drove you wild. He leans in to give you a kiss after sitting right by you, and it wasn’t enough touching for you. You crawl forward as you eagerly kissed him back, straddling his lap. “Fuck, sweetheart, you are fucking gorgeous.” He mutters, the silk pajamas you wore bunching up in his hands as he grabbed at it. “The little strap that peaked out of your skirt tied together was just tempting me to unwrap you like a present.” He huffs, still kissing your neck. You find yourself impatient, wanting his lips back on yours.
“Fuck, been thinkin’ about you on my cock ever…” he inhales your perfume with a deep grunting sigh of content. “ever since.”
You mewl to his confessions, and he’s a much better talker than you could’ve imagined. Your hips start to grind on their own accord and with the little fabric they have between your silk shorts and his thin pajama pants you felt his hard cock fairly easily. You let out a high moan of contentment, and Eddie watches as you grind on his cock and get yourself off so easily. “Oh shit, she’s a dirty slut, hey.” Eddie comments leaning back and watching you grind yourself. “Doesn’t even need a cock inside her, will just take anything I give her with a smile on her face.”
“I would—” you gasp, the material scratching your clit in the best way, “I would take any crumbs, fuck.”
You start to moan higher and grind faster, and Eddie wanted to make you cum by his hands or his mouth the first time but you making yourself cum against his pants meant he was now using this as a fucking cum rag to smell you when you weren’t near. “Take off those shorts, doll. Wanna see your pussy.”
“Ok.” They are yanked off without a second thought.
“Oh, good listener. What a good girl.” He comments petting your hair gently as you continued to grind again with your heat now directly against his pj pants, he could feel it against his cock. “Oh, fuck, you are soaked. My fucking horny slut.”
“Horny for you.” You whimper the edge just right there.
“Whoring herself out for the Munsons.” He comments, sort of bitter he had to hear you fuck his son before he could claim you.
“Pictured it was you.” You admit, your voice in a whisper as you confessed but the high you wanted almost there.
“Fuck, did you?” He asks, the idea you only enjoying it so much because you pictured him.
“Mmhmm. Pictured you watching me, too.”
“Fucking little voyeur.” He whispers, and you nodded. He rewarded you by grabbing your hips and rutting against you and hitting your clit even harder and your orgasm snuck up on you, and the extra attention Eddie pays you as he watches it wash through you only helps the high take longer to recover from.
“Oh my god.” You whisper, a last of the intense orgasm still running through you.
“Not done.” Eddie whispers, a big smirk on his face. He lightly pushes you down and grabs your legs and puts them over his shoulder. You watch him carefully, his face looking at your pussy at a way that would usually resolve in embarrassment. Instead, it only turned you on more because it meant he wanted you just as much.
He dives into your pussy with a level of expertise that only came from years of pleasuring women. You don’t know why but you knew he got off to pleasuring others from the moment you saw him and every moan you let out he absorbed it, getting better and better as your verbal ques direct him. The heat in your pussy intensifies as he continues, fucking two of his fingers into you.
You place your hands in his hair, grinding up when the feeling of wanting to be fucked takes over you. “No, patience baby. I need to see what you look like when you squirt.”
“I-I can’t—”
“Every woman can, sweetheart. Just means you’ve had no one show you yet. Feel that?” He asks you, the heat in your pussy expanding as he continued to attack your clit and finger fuck you.
You nod, the feeling in your gut like a tidal wave of pleasure.
“Focus on it.” You do, and as you do you look up at his eyes, already staring into yours as he assesses your reactions. The heat intensifies by a thousand, and the feeling of wanting to…pee…takes over.
“Fuck—” you start to protest.
“Let it happen. Let go. It’ll feel so fucking good…baby let go. Gonna feel so fucking good.” You trust him so you let go and a gush invades your ear as a red-hot pleasure makes home in your pussy. “One more?” Eddie asks you, his thumb now messaging your clit.
You twitch under him, your bud being so sensitive. “Oh fuck, Ed. Too much.”
“No, I think you can cum again. Wanna see that beautiful face all scrunched up. Wanna take a photo.” He holds out his phone casually, and your face heats up. “Not feeling all the sudden shy, are ya? You whored your little pussy for me how is this different?”
“Its…” you manage out, already close again. “Its hot.”
“She gonna cum again, all over my fingers?”
“All over your fingers.”
“You gonna lick em clean?”
“Can we share?”
Eddie groans audibly, titling his head back. “Of course, doll. Of fucking course, now cum all over them, please.”
The third orgasm takes over your body, and it’s so goddamn good you stop responding for a minute which causes Eddie to panic. “Oh shit, you okay?”
Giggles burst out of you, the kind of post orgasm giggles you’ve only read about in spicy novels. You thought they were fake. “Can I suck you off now?”
Eddie’s eyes bulge, and he realizes his hand is still on your pussy. He taps it lightly, causing you to whine. He lifts the finger first, inserting it into your mouth. “Suck this first.” You wrap your tongue around it, keeping eye contact as you taste yourself, and this is the only time it’s ever been truly hot to be able to taste yourself. Other times it was just perplexing.
Eddie takes the other finger when you let go and starts sucking on it, he closes his eye, enjoying the taste of your pussy on his tongue. Eddie crawls onto his bed and you basically pounce him, yanking his pj pants down as fast as they go, wanting to see his cock. His eyes watch you, blown and enwrapped in lust as he watches your eagerness.
As his cock pops out of his pants, an involuntary smile spreads across your face. The head to his cock was so pink, he must’ve been horny. “Oh, pretty cock.” You mutter, and he wasn’t even sure if you were saying to him or just saying it out loud. “Oh my god, look how pink your head is. Mmm..sure seem like you need some attention.”
You take the head of his cock into your mouth, sucking on it alone but getting used to his girth. Holy he was gonna hurt even with how wet you were. You start sucking on it, taking bit by bit more into your mouth each time, eagerly making sloppy spit sounds as you did so. It wasn’t hard to generate the spit you needed, the sight of his dick made your mouth water.
Your head bobbed up and down on it, illicit sounds being drawn out of him, only encouraging you more as the feeling of his rings harsh against your scalp making you wet. You pop off him, spit connected from your mouth to his dick. You lean forward to his treasure trail, licking the hair and biting at it, something you’ve wanted to do since you saw him. You find your way back down and passed his cock and he’s about to ask when take one of his balls into your mouth, sucking loudly.
“Oh fuck, do you know how to use that pretty little mouth. Holy shit.” You roam over it with your tongue, sucking it in and out repeatedly. Then you move on to the next one, giving it its own show as well. Your mouth moves back to suck on his cock but he tugs on your hair to bring him up to you.
“Want you to face fuck me.” You say to him, still not done sucking on his cock.
“Nother time. Lemme fuck you.” He mutters, tugging on the shirt you still wore. You crawl back up to straddle him, nothing between his cock and your pussy now, but he places his cock on it so the shaft slides in-between your folds, teasing you, and causing you to whine. “Oh shit.” He works on the buttons holding your silky pink shirt, the skilled hands working fast through each one. As each one reveals another inch of skin, he feels more intoxicated by you, especially how you’re begging him to put his cock in. Your tits fall out of the shirt, and he rips the back off you, and you let it fall to the floor. You grab onto his band shirt, attempting to move it off him. You barely do it, the feeling of his cock so close inside you causing your focus to fall apart in seconds. He laughs, nearly cruel, yanking the shirt off, revealing more tattoos you’ve never seen. Your hands flutter to his chest, moving to each tattoo and touching every inch you can.
Your mission to focus and analyze each tattoo is interrupted by him maneuvering you onto your back. You lay there, open and ready for him. “Holy shit, fucking smoking hot.” He mutters, like he couldn’t believe you were here with him.
It was you who was the lucky one, he was crazy.
“You’re hotter.” You mutter, as he starts to align his cock with your entrance. “Thought of you last night, made myself cum so hard.”
“Oh fuck. What was I doing?” He asks, still teasing you with it.
“Just watching me finger myself. Talking me through it. Calling me a whore.” He groans, tapping his cock on it. “Please, Ed need your cock.”
“Beg for it, you fucking slut.” He whispers, something taking over him.
“Please, daddy. Want your cock. Want you to fuck me like a ragdoll. Please, pretty please fuck me until I’m a puddle. I just want your cock in me, so fucking bad.”
“Gonna be a good slut for me?”
“Yes..I will I promise.”
He chuckles darkly and finally…finally moves into you. Your eyes cross and a moan so erotic leaves your body and you had barely a single ounce of control over that left your mouth at that point.
Eddie puts his head into your neck, feeling your head tighten around him in pleasure as you got used to his girth and length.
“Move…please?”
“Thought you were gonna take the crumbs I gave you, slut.” He mutters.
“Fuck. Sorry.”
He smiles and your fingers fidgeting at your sides were a dead giveaway you were just needy for him to move. It made him feel fucking powerful just his cock could make you feel like this. He starts rocking, slowly and you whine from this resolve alone. “Oh what a fucking whore, just needed a good fucking.” He mutters into your ear, his hand finding its way to your neck. “Putting her pussy on display for me, showing she just needed someone to know how to fuck her.”
You say nothing in response, and his hips are starting to rock against yours harder. Your eyes reach the back of your head as you lose air, but you revel in the feeling of nearly passing out as he takes his hand off. “Holy shit, you really are just a whore.”
You nod, eyes half lidded as you looked up at his pussy drunk eyes. “Little…cockdrunk…slut…” he inhales sharply and a wad of spit hits your face and you find yourself opening your mouth for more. “Fuck—” his hips stutter at the sight of your smile when his saliva hits your mouth. He spits right into it as you open for more and you act like it’s the best thing you’ve ever tasted, cause it was.
Your tongue pokes out, gasping in more need. His hips are against yours so harshly you would’ve been afraid of bruising if it didn’t fucking turn you on so bad.
“Fucking slut, you want me to cum in you? Wanna be filled with my fucking cum?” You nod, too cocked out to speak, you’ve never felt this good from penetration alone before. “Cum with me, doll.” He mutters using his two fingers against your clit as he leans in to kiss you. Within moments you flutter around him, moaning into his mouth and he lets go of your kiss, stuttering his hips and letting out a loud moan as you feel him fill you up.
His body weight collapses ontop of you, and his hands are suddenly gentle as they sweep at your bangs sticking to your sweaty forehead. “Fuck.” He mutters, giving you a dazed-out look of pure adoration. “That was much better than anything I came up with.”
You nod in agreement, words still not coming to your mouth.
“You were such a good girl, yeah?” You smile, a heat coming up to your cheeks. “You listened to me so well. C’mere.” He wraps your lips in a kiss, his cock still in you, still hard and keeping all his cum in you.
“C-can we stay like this?” You ask timidly, not wanting his cock to leave yet.
“Ooh, baby wants to cock-warm? Sure. Wanna turn on a movie until 9, when Dylan usually wakes?” Eddie asks, already leaning towards the channel changer on his beside table.
Having to tell Dylan it was pretty much over the moment Eddie kissed you hadn’t even crossed your mind, and it would eventually twenty minutes into the movie when you got back to earth. Eddie knew the realization would kick in eventually so he let you watch a movie of your choice, sitting up on his bed with you straddled on his lap after a bit of maneuvering so you could both see the movie on his screen adjacent to his bed.
Eventually, Dylan was gonna wake.
Eventually, a storm would hit.
But for now, Eddie stayed inside you to pretend like it wasn’t over yet.
-
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uplatterme · 1 year
Text
Hidden Urges
cw: pre-memories!wanderer, sub!wanderer, dom!reader, gender-neutral terms and pronouns but reader has a cock, jacking off, hurt/comfort (my bad), overstimulation, crying, REALLY SOFT
a/n: probably one of the best fics ive ever written ngl. might write a part two with post-memories!wanderer if y’all want it.
———
You thought you had been daydreaming at first.
You stood outside the porch of your house and were met with a man who stood in the rain looking unbothered by the whole thing. He was just there, staring into nothingness despite some parts of his clothes getting wet by the second.
You bit your cheek, walking up to him and taking his wrist with your hand.
“Come in? I have supper ready.”
It took him a while to register but he eventually agreed with your persistence.
He introduced himself as a wanderer, he said, “I’ll be out when the rain stops.”
To which you replied, “Take as long as you need.”
You gave him some spare clothes which fit on him loosely as you hung the kimono to dry inside the house. 
He was…a very pretty man. 
You served him a bowl of porridge that he refused multiple times, saying that you should just eat it instead, that you need it more than him. 
It sounded silly seeing as how thin the wanderer was.
“So, who are you really? Besides being a wanderer, I mean.”
Your question seemed to be something that he even himself couldn’t answer. He made that same face that he wore when he was in the rain, deep in thought, possibly contemplating everything that he had gone through.
After a few minutes, he opened his mouth to finally say something, only to be shut up with a spoonful of warm porridge inside his mouth.
You smiled, seeing him swallow the food even if you had to do it forcefully.
“How is it?” You asked.
“It’s good.” He answered, still stunned at how you had just spoonfed him.
“Yeah? Well, there’s more. Dig in.” 
He reluctantly took the bowl in his hands, eating the food that you had generously given to him. You were so persuasive. He wondered if you realized that you had that effect on people.
You ate with him, telling stories of your own as you worried that you had scared him off from asking too much about himself.
A thought lingered in your head as you led him to a spare room before going back to your bedroom alone.
Why was it that he never shivered under the rain?
The rain didn’t let up for days. A storm had manifested instead, meaning any kind of travel would have to be suspended.
Wanderer felt that he was intruding so much already, he could go anytime he wanted to but leaving you alone didn’t seem right.
“Are you alright?” Your hand was on his forehead, checking his temperature.
You had somehow managed to sneak up on him again, he marveled at that fact, questioning whether if you purposely did it when he was busy thinking about something.
He tensed up when you removed your hand from his skin, eager to have more of your touch.
He cursed himself in his head. That had been happening a lot lately, a growing urge inside of him that didn’t want to leave and let go of you once the rain ended.
But that’s exactly why he needed to leave, he couldn’t get too attached.
He stayed in the spare room you had given him and each time he was alone, all these questions kept attacking his head.
Was he supposed to feel this way? Should a puppet such as him have these kinds of emotions?
The longer he stayed here, the longer he felt that he wished the rain wouldn’t stop.
Everything smelt like you. The blankets, the clothes, and eventually, even him.
He stared at the problem at the center of his legs. This too, had been bothering him.
It often happened when he thought about you, or whenever you touched him for too long.
He bit his lip, careful to not let any sound slip. Although these days, he wanted you to hear. To find him like this, all sensitive and spread out just to see your reaction.
Would you have shamed him and kicked him out of the house for this? Or, would you have praised him, telling him how much of a good job he was making?
His hand gripped his cock, imagining that it was you doing this to him. He sang your name softly, fingers now traveling to his tip, using the white liquid that had oozed out as a lubricant.
He continued pumping himself underneath the blankets, smelling your scent and bringing him into a high. His legs trembled with each stroke, knowing that he’ll make a mess once again on the bed that you’d kindly given to him.
“S-Sorry… I can’t help it—” He chanted apologies and came into his hand, his cum splattering to his thighs. 
He needed to leave as soon as possible.
Unbeknownst to your guest, you too, were having a problem.
Your lip has been bruising with how many times you’ve been biting it.
You’re appreciative that you have a pretty temporary roommate like him, but he’d been driving you insane.
Like right now.
He’d been helping you out with dinners lately but with him being inexperienced, he tended to do things in a very questionable way. 
For example, having cream splatter directly on his cheek while he whipped a batch. Or, bending his body against the counter to reach the spatula that’s on the other side instead of just asking for it.
It had your mind going through things that it shouldn’t. Such as imagining the said guest on top of you, taking you in as he tries his best to please you, asking you whether he’s doing it right. And worse, that’s probably the tamest thing you could think of right now, the others you’ve daydreamed about are ten times worse.
Has his shorts ever been that short?
You didn’t want to take advantage of him, seeing as he would do whatever you asked no matter how weird they may be. 
You tried it once, asking him to fetch three blades of grass from the backyard and what do you know, he actually did it.
He seemed to think that he owed you, which isn’t really the case since you just wanted to help out.
What you wouldn’t give to see him gasping your name though.
“Hey, I never really asked this but would you like me to call you something?” You asked.
“Huh?” 
“Ah, well. I understand not telling me your real name but uh, I’d like to call you something like a nickname.”
“It’s up to you. I’d be fine with anything you give.”
You bit your lip again. He’s so sweet!
That being said, you didn’t know what you should call him. Wanderer, huh? Honey is a bit too much, Darling is too domestic, Sweetie seemed like you were pampering him…
Why were these nicknames all sounding like pet names for a lover?
“You said anything, right?” You reconfirmed.
He nodded.
“How about Doll, then?”
He stilled, a deep breath leaving his mouth. He seemed agitated. 
Did he not like it?
“I–Yes. That’s fine. Excuse me, I just have to get something in my room.”
He left before you could even apologize (for what?) or say a word.
That day, the rain stopped and you stopped seeing the wanderer ever since.
You tried to get it off your mind, spending time on your work or reading. 
It didn’t help. He’d disappeared and if it weren’t for your bruised lips, you’d think the whole thing was a long dream that you’d just woken out of.
You laid your back on the doorframe of his room. It wasn’t a guest room anymore, it was his now. Even if he’d never come back.
Wanderer walked and walked, trying to distract himself from you. 
The nickname hurt him and he didn’t know why. Was it because he was a puppet? He’d always been content with being one and if you had asked, he’d trusted you enough to the point that he’d tell you the truth.
Was there something he was forgetting? Something that he forgot which made him feel this hurt?
He stood outside of your house, his head leaning on the door, hand on the doorknob, when he heard a sultry voice talking.
Next, came the moaning and gasping. You were with someone else.
Get rid of them, they don’t deserve your touches. That should be for him, for his only.
His head ached.
He turned the knob slowly, walking towards your bedroom but stopped halfway through when he realized that you weren’t there.
You were in his room.
He sank to the floor, sitting there while he listened in.
“You seem aggressive.” The other voice said.
“Stop. Stop talking. Just lay there.” You replied.
“Really? How long is this going to last? All you’ve done is mark my neck and chest.”
Jealousy was all through his veins. Perhaps if he had never left, that could have been him in that bed instead of some random person.
He could hear you sigh disappointedly. 
“You won’t even kiss me on the lips. You haven’t stripped out of your clothes and it’s been an hour! I know I shouldn’t complain since I’m getting paid here but come on.”
“God, could you shut up?!” You yelled angrily.
Your voice brought shivers to the puppet. You had never gotten mad at him no matter what. Not when he broke the dishes while washing them, not when he accidentally messed up a recipe, not when he spaced out and stopped listening to your stories.
“I didn’t mean it. Doll, I—”
Silence filled the entire house. Not a word from you or the other person. Not a single breath out of the wanderer.
“Shit, I keep—” You stuttered with your words. 
“Can you just get out? Take the money with you.”
The person left without even noticing him to their left, in a hurry and understandably annoyed.
You didn’t think you’d get so desperate, hiring a person who could play his part. 
You thought you could get through it, maybe a fuck was something you needed to get it out of your system. You knew it wouldn’t work but you eventually gave in to your desires.
A shadowy figure loomed into your vision.
“I told you to get out.” 
“Are you alright?”
You brought your head up to see the wanderer looking at you with worry. Were you dreaming?
You stood up with shaking legs, running towards him to envelop him in a hug.
“You’re back.”
“I’m sorry.” He apologized.
You frowned at him, why was he apologizing?
“What? I should be the one saying sorry, I brought someone else home and called you something you didn’t like.”
“Yes, but I overreacted.” He replied.
“It did trigger you, didn’t it?”
He nodded, overwhelmed with your warmth due to being out for so long.
“Yes. But I… don’t know why.” He said with his eyes on the ground, troubled.
“I see. We’ll figure it out.” You reassured him.
“We?” He said, surprised.
“Yes.”
You crashed your lips onto his, something that you’d thought of more than you should. Your hands were on his back while you pressed his body against yours tightly.
The sudden act brought the puppet flustered to a whole new level. 
“Can I ask something?” He said, gasping for air as he separated from you.
“Hm?”
“Can you mark me like what you did with that person earlier?”
“Anything for you, love.”
The wanderer felt as if there were tons of butterflies fluttering away in his stomach. Love? 
Him? Really?
His face is pressed onto the pillows, his ass up for you, as your finger slips inside of his hole so smoothly that you’d think this isn’t the first time that he’s doing it with someone else.
He moaned loudly, fingers gripping the sheets and cum dripping onto them.
He still could feel the bruising on his chest all the way to his neck, there was more and deeper than what you did to your invited guest earlier, obviously wanting to prove to him that it’d never happen again, that it would only be him.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. Each day with you drove me positively insane.” You told him.
He cried your name, feeling another finger penetrating his walls.
“M-Me too. I’ve thought about it a bunch of times.”
You hummed pleased, removing the fingers that let out a whine from his throat. 
You flipped him over, wanting to see his perfect face, and spread his thighs away from each other.
“Can you show me? Can you show me what you do while you think about it?”
He nodded, red coloring his cheeks.
He took his right hand and started from the base of his cock, stroking it but not all the way through, leaving his own tip unsatisfied. The whole scene already had him trembling, he wanted to look away from your eyes but at the same time, he was relishing from the attention.
“Hnn—Ah~” He breathed out your name, continuing to fuck himself with his hand.
“How many times have you done this?” You questioned.
It took him a while to answer, his head mostly focusing on only the pleasure and ignoring everything else.
“A-A lot. I clean the sheets before you wake up so you don’t notice.”
“Ah, such a good boy, aren’t you?”
He whimpered from the praise, a spray of his cum coming out hastily.
“That won’t do, though. I’m kicking you out of this room.” You said, giving his thigh a pinch, his cock twitching for release.
“You’re staying in my room now. If you want to jack off, you’ll be doing it in front of me just like this…Or, there’s always the other option.” 
“W-What?” 
“You could always ask me to help you out.”
He sobbed out a pathetic noise as he finally reached his orgasm. The bed sheets were already ruined and you haven’t even taken your clothes off yet.
His attention is brought back once he heard you unbuckle his belt.
“I’m gonna make you cum with my cock, the same number of times you orgasmed in here alone.”
“Okay.” He answered, awaiting what it would be like to finally have you inside of him.
Wanderer choked on his own breath when you first penetrated him, it was much different from your fingers. He felt so full of you, each time you thrust in and out of him had his toes curling from pleasure.
He continued whimpering, tears dripping down his cheeks while you held onto his slim waist, pumping him of your length.
His first orgasm from your cock is abrupt, too quick for even him to register it as you didn’t even stop, continuing to pound even deeper and rougher. His cock limped as it juiced out his cum.
It didn’t last long as with one specific hit to his prostate, Wanderer squeaked out an embarrassing noise, his cock hard once again.
“I’m going to ruin you, love.”
“Please do—Hah~”
His body felt lifeless, thighs too tired to even shake even if they wanted to. Your hands doing all the work, whether to switch his position, or make him face you as you fucked him just to see the faces that he would make, high on the pleasure.
Perhaps it was due to his anatomy that it wasn’t hurting, though he supposed that didn’t sound too bad either.
He blushed from his own thoughts, they had been bothering him since earlier. Where were these coming from?
“Do you need me to stop?” You asked him.
“No, keep going.”
His legs were in the air, carried by you, pushing even deeper into him despite that sounding impossible. 
Wanderer teared up again feeling his next orgasm coming, he didn’t even know if he’d be able to cum, already milked out dry.
“Hnghh!” He whined out, proven wrong when you used your other hand, palming his tip.
He came for the last time, exhausted and empty as you pulled out. 
“Should we take a bath together?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to go there.” He panted, laughing at his situation.
He was covered with his own excretions and yet he looked just as lovely.
“Nonsense! I’ll carry you!”
“Alright then, love.” He returned the nickname, tugging at your heart and bringing you to a smile.
You two did spend more time in the bath than you expected though.
Oops.
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