Why is that when people are fat phobic about America they sometimes conclude its because "American food is poison and you're all on medication and etc etc type points". Like what is up with this shit and weird pseudoscience? And please dont respond to this "but american food is poison" with absolutely no nuance or science whatsoever because i will block you and will refuse to entertain it.

Like I'm sorry but American food is not "poison", or at least this generalization is just simply frustrating to me. It is true there are ingredients that are legal in the US but are not in other parts of the world, but you can't generalize that as "american food is poison" as it's more complicated than that. You can't make up claims about american food in order to be fatphobic. You can't make generalizations about american diets and nutrition without understanding the social determinants of what go into diet and accessibility of food. You can't have conversations about this without discussing socioeconomics, racism, ableism, food deserts, transportation access, healthcare, and etc. You can't just push bigoted and bullshit diet culture talking points and think you're saying something good here.

And on the science end, you can't look up how a preservative/ingredient that's in food "is also used as a paint thinner/[insert scare tactic]" without understanding food science and what makes something food grade. You can't say GMO's are evil without understanding what a GMO is and how its developed and what it actually means. You can't say "natural and organic is better! that's why american food is toxic" without really understanding food safety/what organic labels mean/etc. You can't say preservatives are evil without understanding why they're important for foods to be shelf stable and accessible, and also just the fact is they are not evil and bad.

And this is not to say there are not things that are able to be criticized about the american food system under capitalism. There is plenty to criticize. There is plenty to talk about within nutrition, access to food, farming/livestock practices, and much more. There's a lot to talk about with water runoff and the effects of american agriculture on the environment. There is so much to talk about with our food within capitalism but the thing is you dont want to talk about it. You don't actually care about improving the health and access to food and minimizing hunger and mitigating social determinants of health. You don't care, because if you did you'd be talking about these things in nuanced scientific and empathetic ways. But instead, you're just fatphobic and you really just want to make it seem like youre not by making up fake pseudoscientific and ableist points about american health in order to justify it. I'd much rather people admit that instead of scaremongering and spreading misinformation that could cause harm.

And for the recordthat's just my short point on the food topic, I haven't even gotten into the "americans are on too many meds" point which is just fucking terrible to say in itself, and ablelist. Like i for one people take meds if they want im glad people have medications that can help them. I'm glad medications exist. I hope to take my meds for the rest of time actually if it means I don't suffer from my shit 😭!! Instead of worrying about the amt of meds ppl are on as a moral failing focus on how we can make meds better more accessible and with less side effects. The end.

And feel free to rb and reply and send asks and add on btw!! There's a lot of nuance to my very short rant on a huge topic. Just don't be weird and rude.

I don't know when it became a common misconception that the Munsters are a bunch of sad conformists trying desperately to fit in bc they're ashamed of their monstrous nature while the Addams are not only aware of how different they are, they are proud of it. Which is really just Addams stans' way of going "neener neener, our fav is better than yours" but misses wholly that the entire joke of both shows was that neither family actually knew they freaked people out; both thought they were normal and kindly treated outsiders like friends. (tho the comics were more satirizing blueblood aristocrats and how creepy the rich are, a point they also miss.)

Under the cut for length and some possibly unpopular takes that need to be said about privilege.

Yes, including the Addams. Gomez as much in the very first episode of the series:

Truant Officer: Mr. Addams, surely you want your children to be like other children? Gomez: But they are!

Just as few people can actually explain how TAF is aware they're not normal, even less can tell me how the Munsters worry about fitting in. Especially because in my experience, people who drag the Munsters have not usually seen many of the episodes, making this claim even more confusing to me. At best I can only guess they mean that episode where everyone but Grandpa is excited to be named "America's Average Family", but that's more because they're hyped to be on a nationally recognized magazine than anything else. Who wouldn't be? There is no evidence the Munsters ever try to fit in with their white picket fence neighbors; they believe THEY are the white picket fence neighbors and do not understand why their friendliness and- in their eyes- harmless customs and hobbies bring out the rudeness in guests or neighbors. Being ordinary is not something they TRY to do; it's something they already think they are. That. Is. The. Joke! They're horror icons but want their kids to get a good education and have nice family dinners every evening! They SHOULD be disturbing and disgusting, but they're nice people with reasonable values!

But the humor in TAF comes from how confident they are that they are THE norm. They are the true Americans and assume everyone must think the way they do. This was and is an accurate attitude from the wealthy elite and even just financially well-off middle class families unaware of life outside their sheltered bubble. This doesn't make the Addams bad people btw, it just means they're naive (and in fairness, so are the Munsters, just for different reasons).

Related to that, I'm going to say something that a lot of people won't agree with but it's true. The Munsters do not "try to be normal" or are "ashamed" of their heritage; what they DO is try to assimilate. I think this is lost on many viewers but the Munsters are a working class immigrant family; frightening appearances aside, they do not meet the status quo. Millions of immigrants, since America was founded, have assimilated. Americans themselves will generally assimilate when they move. This is just a thing those living in a different culture do because it's not seen as correct or considerate to ignore cultural norms of the place you are staying in. More to the point, the Munsters very obviously represent what real life minorities went through in the very racist and xenophobic mid-20th century. They would try to balance their own culture while following what the majority (white, middle or upper class people) or adapt entirely to it... and STILL faced prejudice.

The part you won't like: the Addams meet the status quo FAR more than the Munsters. They are rich, white, straight, closer to their aristocratic status (the Munsters technically have nobility but seemingly left it behind when they immigrated, with Herman dismissing it outright as unimportant in the US), and above all, are normal-looking. Add that to their somewhat condescending pity (and Gomez' disgust) for Aunt Ophelia, who is the black sheep of the family, showing that they DO value some sense of normalcy; it's just different from an average person's. Even thinking the Addams were this edgy, rebellious goth family a lot of their fans think they are, they can afford to be quirky because of their privilege. It is not necessarily bold to "be yourself" when "yourself" is already closer to what society says you should be. I am not saying they don't do anything progressive, they are in ways of course; I'm saying this is a very tone-deaf, first-world outlook that takes for granted the fact that the Munsters as both foreigners and minorities and don't get the luxury of flaunting their MUCH MORE ATYPICAL appearances and culture to WASP America. To say they as a marginalized group are just sad conformists compared to the brave and self-loving Addams who are by contrast easier to swallow with their normal appearances and attractive wealth is... naive to say the least, and an offensive disregard to how privilege works IRL, at worst.

But it's not founded in any of the source material. In truth both families are happy the way they are; that's what makes them funny, because they enjoy abnormal things and don't see that this disturbs their neighbors and ultimately their odd ways aren't harming anyone (usually). IDK how this got lost on so many people's heads but I largely blame the fact that viewers (mainly millennials and zoomers) were weaned on the "I'm not like other girls"-y 1990s Addams remakes without ever seeing the Munsters, and as some of them have based their identity too much on the former and see the latter as a "rival" or "other", they assume the Munsters must operate on the opposite end of the scale, I guess? If that makes sense.

I personally think all of this just boils down to classism and (some) Addams fans- mainly those who are most familiar with the edgy 90s films- having this deep individuality complex which comes out not only in their resentful takes and spiteful jokes about the Munsters, but many other franchises and characters too. Like. there's a reason there's a million Addams memes on r/notlikeothergirls and maybe 2 of Lily. There's a reason most of their insults towards the Munsters are about how "trashy" and "poor" they are (NM that these are counts & countesses living in a freaking mansion in one of the richest states in America with 2 expensive custom made cars, ijbol) and much praise for TAF seems to come from how much cool stuff they have or their old family name. There is obviously a need with a good chunk of their fanbase for the characters they identify way too much with to be more special and cool than any others and I've said for awhile that some fans of the 90s version def have this rich, beautiful goth fantasy projected onto TAF, as seen quite grossly by the racist and body-shaming hate Luis Guzman received for daring to be a pudgy brown guy playing... a pudgy tanned guy.

And as someone who greatly enjoys deep dive analyses on seemingly simple fiction like these shows, I won't begrudge anyone for taking their fav fiction seriously... but if you're going to try to act like the Addams are a complex and philosophically deep franchise who did more for fiction than Munsters and then tell Munster fans "bro it's not that deep" when we point out the Addams' absurd socioeconomic/racial status protecting them from societal judgment or how it's much easier to digest nonconformit with when it's coming from a group who is already Have some perspective is all I am asking and stop being so "how very dare you" with angry blocking/downvoting when you face people who appreciate the Munsters as much as you appreciate the Addams. Like... I enjoy both but I am tired of seeing baseless criticism of the Munsters from people who never analyze TAF to that same degree and NO nuanced takes about either side, or being gaslit when I complain about that hate. (Yes, I've been told it's not a big deal and I am basically the real problem to shoot back against people who have harassed or bullied me or my moots for defending the show... seriously.)

Also, I'm putting this in the Addams' tag and I don't want to hear any griping about how I'm "tagging hate" from fans because I'm not; this is not hating them at all, this is a fandom problem with Addams fans that has gone on way too long and I want people to see it (and there is constantly negative stuff put in the Munsters' tags or spaces as well). If you're just gonna do what I said in the above paragraph, please DNI; I am venting but open to good-faith responses.

6 Nonverbal Language in Finland

Nonverbal communication is half of overall communication, so it’s crucial to understand the undertones of any conversation. Nonverbal cues can mean different things for different cultures, so when learning about a culture, and interacting with others from that culture, learning the full language, not just the spoken one, is important. Nonverbal cues are very hard to pick up, so it can be difficult to read people’s body language in a way that makes sense. Most people have a very delicate grasp on what body language means, because we are taught that the way to communicate is with our words. However, learning how to communicate through nonverbal communication needs to happen in order to become fluent.

In Finnish culture, gesturing is very minimal, but it can mean a lot. Finns are generally reserved, and it is a bit of a stereotype that they fall into. Most Finnish people, especially the ones I am related to, rarely have an animated discussion. That means that when gesturing happens in a Finnish conversation, it becomes much more emotional (Finnish Pod 101). The stoicism of the Finnish language and culture, at first, seems to eliminate any emotion in the discussion. However, because animation is so rare, when it happens, the emotions get a lot larger, which allows people to show how they are feeling about the conversation. Finnish culture is also against fake emotions, which commonly eliminates the need for general pleasantries. 

Touch in Finnish culture is also very minimal, because of their reserved cultural ideals. Finnish people often greet each other by shaking hands, but other than that, it is usually only reserved for close friends and family (Zucchet). The stereotype of Finns being reserved and calm is very true with my family members. For someone who is unfamiliar with Finnish culture, they might go to one of my family gatherings and think we all hate each other. However, learning the cultural ideals in body language and nonverbal communication of Finnish people would tell them otherwise. Finnish people can be seen as off putting, but their cultural values allow them to express their emotion in a way that almost magnifies them. 

Personal space in Finnish culture is very important, and it is rare that people give up their personal space. For example, when riding a bus full of Finnish people, it would be best to just mind your business and focus on yourself. However, Finnish-American culture is a little different. A lot of Finns, when they immigrated to America, settled down in Minnesota. Minnesota has a stereotype of having really, really chatty people. Because of that, most Finnish-Americans you meet will be very chatty and very nice when you are standing in line with them. 

Finns are very protective when it comes to their time. It is incredibly rude to be late with them, because they are such straightforward people. They are typically monochronic, which means they like to do one thing fully before moving to the next. Knowing the importance of time for Finns is crucial when communicating with them. Finnish people don’t like to waste their time in a conversation, and would prefer to be straightforward. In fact, talking about non-important stuff, like small talk, is seen as shady by a lot of Finns, because they think that person is trying to get something from them. 

Finnish Pod 101. Finnish Gestures of Communication. 16 August 2019. https://www.finnishpod101.com/blog/2019/08/16/finnish-body-gestures/#:~:text=In%20Finland%2C%20shaking%20hands%20is,making%20up%20after%20a%20disagreement.. Accessed 21 March 2024. 

Zucchet, Elinor. Berlitz. Body Language in Different Cultures around the World. 21 August 2023. https://www.berlitz.com/blog/body-language-different-cultures-around-world, accessed 21 March 2024. 

Hey, since the maximoffs are generally white-passing (though not always and “passing” is a complicated thing) in the comics, do you think it’s rude/unnecessary to confront someone for making very pale art of them? If I did it I’d try to be nicer about it than I would if they were just blatantly whitewashing a visibly brown or black character, but I see a lot of artist who I feel like might not know and I really wonder if it’s worth it. Do you have any thoughts?

That's complicated. It's not a misrepresentation of the characters in the way that, for instance, a blonde Wanda or a tall, muscular Billy would be.

I can't reasonably fault anybody, fanartist or canon illustrator, for drawing characters on-model.

That said, in the last few years there has been an ongoing conversation in this fandom, at least here on tumblr, about who the Maximoffs are, and the ways in which their general representation is lacking. It's become more common to draw the characters with darker skin or more apparently ethnic features. If you're a fan of Wanda, or Pietro, or any iteration of Young Avengers, it's pretty hard to avoid that conversation, so it's easy to point fingers at anybody who seems to be ignorant to, or is intentionally ignoring, that trend. If I'm reading your message correctly, you seem to be asking if that trend represents a truer, more valid version of the characters that we should all adhere to, and if it is necessarily problematic to do otherwise.

I'm of two minds. On the one hand, I believe that disrupting the representation of all Roma people as white-passing, or even interchangeable with white Europeans, is crucial. Setting aside the fact that the diaspora intersects with just about every racial group, not just white people, the broad whitewashing of Roma communities in media erases our origins and occludes the fact that the mistreatment of Roma people is a race issue. On a wider scale, I believe that this manufactured ignorance contributes to systemic antiromanyism, but within the sphere of pop culture, specifically, it allows people to get away with obviously racist art and writing, and it's why Romani history and identity are viewed as disposable whenever people adapt these comics for the screen.

On the other hand, I'm deeply frustrated by the tokenization and co-opting of Roma identity that this fandom performs. This may sound hypocritical, considering how much of my blog revolves around my edits, but I see a lot of folks on tumblr who draw brown Wandas, make fancasts with Romani actors, and, like me, photoshop comic book panels, but not a lot of people who demonstrate any understanding of antiromanyism, or better yet, material allyship. In everybody's haste to earn diversity points, they've produced a lot of unintentionally racist content. I've seen a lot of cultural tourism, inappropriately co-opted activist work, and even virtual brownfacing in the form of RP accounts. No one, myself included, should feel entitled to dictate what a true or valid image of Wanda looks like, but especially not a community of people who think that having a folder of Hiba Abouk gifs and a Wikipedia list of common chib phrases makes it okay to racefake for your MCU roleplay.

Anyways, when it comes to fanart, you're going to have to rely on your own subjective judgement, and try to think about more specific issues than "whitewashing" because these characters just don't fit into that idea. Content that's derived from the movies is complicit in erasure. Content that is derived from the comics, but which applies lighter and straighter hair to Billy or Wanda is complicit in eurocentric standards, and the trend of gradually lightwashing characters of color, and even white Jewish characters. Content which employs racist stereotypes is not better than canon "white-passing" depictions. Cultural appropriation is still cultural appropriation, even if the character you're drawing is a member of that culture. Many popular writers and artists have a history of ignoring or shutting down dialogues about representation, even harassing people like me.

Hopefully, thinking about that stuff gives you a more clear idea of what to look out for, what's worthy of confrontation, and how to articulate your problems with a specific person or their content.

I know this ran longer than was strictly necessary, but I wanted to roll your message together with a similar question about whitewashing:

The Maximoffs weren't conceived, written, or designed in such a way as to be intentionally whitewashed, at least not originally-- their background was established via a retcon, at least a decade after their first appearance. Up until that point, they were generic, apparently white, Central Europeans. The fact that they are treated as interchangeably white and Roma is both product and perpetuation of the broad whitewashing of European Romani that I described earlier. Nobody's going out of their way to make sure the twins always have at least one white ancestor in order to justify "whitewashing" them, rather, nobody has ever truly envisioned them as people of color in the first place.

People will perform all kinds of mental gymnastics in order to minimize the Maximoffs' ancestry, or come up with reasons why it makes the most sense for them to look white-- invoking Erik as the father; dredging up the short-lived Robert Frank retcon; or, for Billy and Tommy, claiming that their resurrection somehow erased their genetic and ancestral ties to Wanda, even though the text implies the very opposite. I'll let you in on a secret, though-- these characters aren't real people, and their stories aren't immutable truths. If anybody, fans, writers, or artists, is making leaps of logic to avoid making comics more inclusive, it's not because their hands are tied by the unbreakable chains of canon, it's because they don't want comics to be more inclusive.

Also, I could be off the mark here, but I don't think I am-- Sinti people are Roma. Different parts of the diaspora have different names for themselves, but are all part of the same larger population. It's mostly a regional thing, as I understand. If you want my opinion, it doesn't matter what version of the story you go with-- whether Magda, Marya or Natalya is their birthmother, Marya and Django raised them. They have direct Roma ancestry either way, and they were raised by a Roma family. It's hard to say exactly where in the world the Maximoffs lived, or what specific label they might have identified with, but the twins would likely identify with the community they were raised in, be that Sinti or Servitka or Kalerash or whatever else. If I'm being honest I don't think that distinction is relevant for non-Roma to make.

I've said this before, but I don't really care what the characters look like, and I'm not interested in playing identity politics with fictional stories that were created by and for American gadje. Obviously, I love these characters as a fan, and I do have my own vision, no pun intended, of who they are and how I'd like to see them represented, but I worry that these conversations are unproductive. I hope you guys understand that I'm not out here trying to canonize an arbitrary idea of what Jewish Romani people look like. American superhero media has a long history of exploiting, misrepresenting, and erasing Romani history. I want more people to understand that, and understand the material consequences it has, and think about how comics, American culture, and art in general can deconstruct this specific mechanism of racism. It's not about any one character's identity, and it's not about my creative vision.

write a post about vegans that are pro sex work but think the dairy industry rapes cows

oh you know what I really could write a lot about veganism because everyone is wrong and right about it all the time, and it drives me crazy. but I’ll deliver what I promised, which is off the cuff fast takes that I don’t proofread: *Feminism is for women, it’s not for animals.  *You can be part of a political movement for women, and still care about animals?? like you can be part of MANY groups....duh??? *The treatment of animals in the mean and dairy industry absolutely relate to misogyny. you’re foolish to think there’s nothing related there (see...cat post) *that doesn’t mean milking cows is rape. that’s insulting. *the destruction caused by the meat, dairy, fishing industry etc. is not the responsibility of women. women do not have to fundamentally change their diets on an individual level at the whims of a political movement. vegan arguments arguing the responsibility of the individual are often lobbied at women.  *That being said, you are responsible for understanding and knowing what you consume! if you have the privileged to make choices about your food purchases, why not...try?? like if you actual listen to a lot of vegans, their arguments are sound. can you (you personally! you reading this!) make a valid argument against why humans have a right to use animals as livestock? what right do we have, and can you articulate it? *Vegan diets are not AUTOMATICALLY healthy. If you eat a poor vegan diet, then it’s a poor vegan diet. *It’s absolutely a lie that humans are “not omnivores.” Yes we are. We can eat animal meat, and we gain nutrition from it. If you make a deer eat meat it will shit itself for days and maybe die. If the argument is that there’s some ~mythical ancient humans that never ever ate animals products, therefore we had to “learn” to eat animal products, that’s not an argument that we’re not omnivores. evolving to eat meat is the thing that makes us omnivores. If the argument is that we need to cook meat to eat it, that’s 1. not even true for all meat, and 2. true of some vegetables, so like...it’s just not scientific.  *It’s more important to me that children and women are able to access nutritious meals. education about the ease and health benefits of vegan options are important. access to vegan options are important. It is most important that children and women eat.  *if you froth at the mouth at any post about veganism, you’ve eaten up the propaganda the meat and dairy industry is constantly producing. You are probably eating waaaaay more meat and dairy than you need to if you’re in a western country. Our diets are being controlled by corporations and the government, this is not actually conspiracy. While you can meet vegans who are racist, misogynist, egotistic, and entitled, that’s true of all groups in every part of the world. Having one argument online with an obtuse idiot about how your pussy would taste better if you ate only fruits and vegetables shouldn’t frame your view on veganism, which is above all a diet choice. Do you get literally mad at people who make good arguments about cutting caffeine from their diets? Do you get literally angry at people who are trying keto?  *veganism is above all a diet choice, but it’s also often politically motivated. This is why vegans feel the need to explain their choices. Kinda like if you don’t shave your legs, you don’t really have to tell people why, but it’s a political choice, so maybe you feel it’s helpful to let some women know that you don’t and why? anyway *I’ve seen the argument that changing your diet is easy, that anyone who is arguing it’s difficult, can take time, takes effort is just using that as an excuse and doesn’t care about animal welfare. I’ve even seen one (1) person argument many moons ago that it’s exactly like pornography, that once they realized that pornography was exploitation of women and rape, they cut it out of their habits and it was easy because their was an ethical motivation for it. This is ridiculous, rude, and honestly bonkers. Our diets are not pornography. We literally need to eat. We have been eating every single day (god willing) since birth. What’s more, is that we have to be taught how to eat, how to cook, how to store food, how to balance nutrition, and we often have to rely on our parents - but more specifically our mothers!!! - to learn these things. Eating is actually a wealth of knowledge we inherit, and is often extremely linked to cultural importance. it’s also linked to POVERTY. The ways people learn to eat and cook and food manage is directly linked to their available resource (again...fucking duh). People don’t just need to be “educated” on their choices to become vegan, they may need to completely unlearn things. And what’s more they need the resources to do it. And for every meal you try something new, you are risking eating something you just don’t like. It takes time to learn all the things you like to eat and don’t. And food should be nutritious AND pleasurable!! I’m getting heated next point: *I very very very very very much encourage feminisms to read into veganism, both the dietary arguments and political arguments. I encourage women to explore vegan options. You do not have to go full monty on the first go. If you meet a vegan who claims you do, just ignore them. There are plenty of vegans who know it takes time. Try a vegan day of the week, or try some substitutions for a while. You might learn you really love tofu, or a new cooking technique, and you will learn that that American’s love of milk, cheese, and beef is subsidized, yes for real, and that can only help you when you’re walking down the grocery aisle, right? *I’ve loved every vegan I’ve ever met. They’ve all been women, I’ve never met a male vegan. I admire your commitment and gumption!!! What hard work and what delicious food :)  *Hummus is oooooover rated 

Long post heads up

so im assuming this will be controversial but i’ve been thinking about this for a while, so please hear me out on this: pagans, even white American ones, literally are marginalized. now, i realize that by making this post i’m opening myself up to a lot of ridicule and accusations, so i ask that yall please do me the courtesy of actually considering what i have to say before you write this post off completely.

a few things to get out of the way first: to act like it’s equivalent to widespread racialized religious discrimination against well-known established religions such as Judaism or Islam is obviously wrong. to act like modern pagans aren’t mostly white and that our communities don’t have huge issues with racism is obviously wrong. i laugh at most posts criticizing pagans, because i genuinely think most of them are funny; it often comes across to me mostly as bemused roasting more than anything actually hateful. i feel like pagans often just need to learn to take a joke and take ourselves a little less seriously, as many religious people need to remind themselves. also, as someone who’s been hanging out in these groups for about 6 years now, i’ll outright tell yall that most pagan groups have ongoing issues with racism, transphobia, ableism, and other social prejudices, as well as the aforementioned predators and cults. many many pagans really do just go “lols The Spirits Don’t Care About Race silly sjws” and then appropriate the hell out closed traditions and act disrespectful as hell to the people who say it’s wrong; if you’re criticizing us for shit like this, GOOD. That’s legitimate criticism that we choose to ignore far too often. 

however, more and more of the “criticism” i see on here toward pagans is just saying we’re crazy, stupid, gullible, or other shitty nu-atheist talking points that have just been repurposed to target a growing fringe subculture that has been widely declared an acceptable target by culturally christian progressives AS WELL AS the religious right.

the justification for this is that no white pagans are discriminated against for being pagan, and i know for a fact that isn’t true. all the pagans i talk to report having to keep it a secret from family, friends, or coworkers -but for this post, i’ll keep it limited to my own experiences. i was abused by my parents as a minor for converting from christianity to a pagan faith, and having to keep my religion and experiences a complete secret from most of my friends and family really did take a toll on me. now, as an adult, i’ve learned to keep my religious beliefs a secret from most strangers and especially anyone who might know me at work, because people will start treating you differently -either like you’re evil, or gullible and stupid in a way they (mostly) don’t accuse mainstream religions of. when i was in the psych ward, i was refused my paperback holy text which i had brought with me for the same reason a christian would bring a bible into a scary and traumatic situation, but because the mainly-christian patients were bullying me for being pagan and the nurses didn’t want to deal with it, so the staff withheld it from me for 3 days until i could talk to a social worker. when my aunt took me in so i could move away from my parents, she coaxed me into sharing about my religion, which i naively did because it was rare for people to take an interest in it, and then the next day she told me if i didn’t get rid of all my “occult” stuff (mostly books and tarot cards), she would kick me out. i can’t get holy days off and in some states i can’t run for a lot of public offices unless I’m Christian. (yeah, i realize the post is talking about atheists, but people use those same laws against pagans as well, because as far as they’re concerned, we don’t believe in God, either.)

if any of this happened because i converted to buddhism or another well-known established open religion, people would call it religious discrimination. non-pagans who talk about this almost always say “yeah well you CHOSE to convert that religion, it isn’t a culture or religion you were raised in”, as though that means we’re under some obligation to quietly absorb any insults or abuse related to something so universally personal as one’s faith -like why does it matter to yall if i was raised in this faith, or converted? why is a faith only “real” if you were raised in it, or are adopting it literally from your direct ancestors?

i realize to people who aren’t religious that this may sound like nonsense, but my experience as a kid wasn’t that it looked cool and trendy and i wanted to feel special. i’m sure that some people are like that, but on the by and large, that’s just a strawman. Personally, whether my experiences that led me to convert were real or not is irrelevant: I was a kid who needed to be able to confide in adults about what i was going through, but the fact that I had started to perceive the world vastly differently than Christians did, and no longer believe in Christian theology, meant it was unsafe for me to do so. not being able to talk to anyone about it without getting either literally accused of being crazy, demonically possessed (happened many times) or like i was just stupid caused real, lasting damage. instead of being the source of stability, comfort, and fellowship that faith can be during difficult times, it’s often been something i feel i need to either hide from others, or defend my right to care deeply about.

as a result of people taking this attitude toward pagans, i and many other young pagans have to rely on online spaces to find any kind of fellowship with people who believe the way that we do. this is isolating and uncomfortable for most, and legitimately dangerous for some. see, if you confine a whole subculture to be either a joke or Satanic depending on your political leaning, the subculture generally develops an Us Against Them in-group/out-group mindset, which makes it much easier for predators and some actual cults to prey on vulnerable people.

keep in mind: pagans are not a monolith; it’s an umbrella term for a lot of different religions. (i don’t claim any kind of ancestral tie to my particular pagan faith, but since it was always an open culture and religion, it doesn’t matter if i have a “hereditary right” to it.) there are a lot of pagans of color, even including Heathenism which has a literal Nazi problem. (i’m referring to people i’ve met irl as well as online here.) lots of young queer people who feel rejected by mainstream religions find a lot of comfort in worshipping queer icons like Loki, Dionysus, Artemis, Set, etc. When you write off pagans as a whole for being just dumb racist white people, you throw them under the bus by erasing them. you isolate them the same way you do me, and they are even more likely to experience the kind of discrimination and abuse i have. is it really worth it to make them feel even more alienated in their religious choices, because they go against the mean-spirited stereotype that secular and non-pagan progressive people have crafted for pagans? 

Also, antifascist and progressive pagans are already swimming against the tide to make social prejudices persona not grata within our spaces, and it makes pagan reactionaries’ recruitment tactics WAY more effective when the world around new, insecure pagans tells them they’re automatically racist privileged white people for being interested in paganism. you don’t need to have any sympathy for bigots, but you should at least acknowledge the end result of this kind of rhetoric. i don’t like it either, but most people aren’t going to stop being pagan, or stop talking about it publicly altogether (as that seems to be the only thing that will make yall happy lol) when people make fun of them constantly; they’re gonna dig their heels in and do the in-group out-group thing people always fuckin’ do in these situations. that mindset makes otherwise-normal people, who may have been willing to learn and grow out of their background prejudices under other circumstances, easier for the truly racist monsters in our community to begin grooming.

paganism is a swiftly growing counterculture, and it’s more than likely that at some point it’s going to be part of a larger conversation on religious freedom. i don’t think people on tumblr or twitter roasting pagans is discriminatory necessarily, but life isn’t split up into “discrimination” and “okay things to do”. yall are pretty obviously just petty and excited to make fun of people who you think are weird, because yall can easily insist that every pagan is a privileged racist cis white lady, therefore it’s totally okay to be rude, dismissive, or just outright mean-spirited to pagans as a group because you’re pretending your bullying is enlightened or required by social justice laws. this is what we in pagan culture call “a dick move”. 

besides, it’s ten thousand times more accurate and funnier to roast us for being too self important and arguing over whether emoji spells are Serious Magic or not lmao.

I GOT SO MUCH TO SAYYY!! gosh pls dont find me weird okay, and these are just my personal opinions and im not hating any groups!! but my unpopular opinion is: i think kpop has become very toxic after bts and bp got famous in America. And tbh if you ask me, i wouldnt want any other kpop groups to be famous in America... i only stan exo but i think i speak for all groups when i say they are safe as they are now... of course if exo ever get even more famous i will be happy and proud for their success. But look how fame and America has changed bts and bp... not tryna hate but look theyve changed, idk if anyone else noticed but after fame hits bts, i realised how theyve start to become very...white?? like they are so westernised and like example, they start focusing on America only, they even curse (not a lot but i’d still point out) casually like for example, jungkook singing a curse word in his cover song for jason derulo savage love i think (speaking of cursing, after nct127 got famous in usa mark started getting influenced by them too and he casually cursed like “oh fuck” and everyones like 😃😆) even i curse and im not saying cursing is BADD but yeah i am, and how they sing a whole song in english, not to even mention how toxic america is but in grammys they have sold tons of albums yet they didnt win anything but when they release an english song, they won.

Some half of them americans are very toxic, racist, and just theyre basically acid, like bruh, its evident that once bts got famous there are soooo much hate thrown towards bts too cuz theyre asians, or how some would say theyre gay or look like girls...if my favs (exo) ever get these kinds of treatments (not that they dint but veryy little cuz thank god they ain exposed to the western culture) i will B R E A K, i could never handle that so i would never want that to happen to them. Also noticed how, after bts got famous, most armys are equally as toxic, whether they are just stanning bts just cuz theyre famous there, or like how their fans dont even know anything abt bts and coming after so many groups and their fans. Most of them are fake and i think its cuz of the fame for bts lmao. One thing i’d like to say too tho, is how they are so overrated and their songs are played all the damn time, people would randomly talk abt them, like everywhere you go THEY ARE JUST THERE, like in my opinion if i am an army, i would just feel like they are so common and theres nothing special about them anymore and theres no excitement, like what even is the point anymore. idk if anyone gets me but thats just how i feel about my favs being “wOrLdWiDe fAmOuS”, i will love them and their music but its just something i think about tbh🤷🏻‍♀️ like let me listen to them on my own and vibe and love them, dont play it 24/7 just cuz they are famous and ure tryna get people’s attention, like imagine ure in the subway and u hear ur favs song cuz its EVERYWHERE and ure there like 😐😐 not that u dont love their music but its cuz horrible people dont deserves to listen to their songs, and like people arent going to appreciate them anyway so yeah i feel uncomfortable listening to my favs as others dont even bother, like imagine if that subway is filled with people who are in ur fandom, yall would just hv the best time in the world and VIBE, if not what even is the point. Idk if im explaining it properly, but its badically like, u feeling UNCOMFORTABLE or should i even say SELFISH cuz u do not want to be sharing ur favs with people who dont even deserve to KNOW about them. Basically like seeing how someone you HATE or bullied you back then talking and being all friendly fake with ur BESTEST FRIEND or even boyfriend/girlfriend, cuz u just want to protect them from EVIL (im so dramatic)

And well lastly, no Bts did not paved the way, or “bts is the best and only group” like no, so many amazing artists were breaking records way before bts was even a thing (no hate to bts) but they really need to get slap for having that mindset, they really make a bad image for bts...tbh kpop before was so peaceful (a little toxic but still, compared to now...BYE) and everything was just about idols and fans love, listening and supporting and loving their music and just so comforting... urgh anyway thats all i wanna say and here are some texts i saved relating to kpop groups going famous worldwide uwu

these are also examples, and honestly speaking here, i dont want to be specific as in “exo” cuz i think this happens for ALL the groups out there and the love and relationship between the idols and their fans (family) are just beautiful, but for bts and armys... tbh i feel bad because i just dont see or feel any love they hv for each other (sure we see bts saying i love you armys or armys supporting bts but with all the toxicity in their way, theres just no spark or chemistry or bond no more it’s basically like one direction and their fans and thats all they are, celebrity-fan, but for kpop its family), i can see other groups and their fans interacting or how idols would light up talking abt their fans, but for bts, theres just soooo much mess going on in their fandom its not special anymore, they lost the deep meaning of their group love and IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT but YEAH DJSHSKSJ OH and to add somethign else, they got famous in America, look at all the collabs🤡🤡 blackpink with cardi b, bts with nicki etc... not that collabs arent fun... im just saying these american artists... they dont exactly have a good reputation (americans singing about sex (not the good kind), money, girls and drugs) 🥴🥴 dont influenced my faves and let them be exposed to the toxic culture YALL GET ME?? KPOP HAS THE LETTER K FOR A REASON😭😭😭 let them be their own shining star, not everything has to be involved or a part of aMeRiCa to be amazing.... PHEW IVE SAID IT NOW BEFORE ANYONE GETS MAD AT ME, I DONT MEAN TO SOUND RUDE TO YOU, if youre an american and youre no where near being toxic, I LOVE YOU but im just saying, the western culture is toxic and im just saying what ive been observing and noticing🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ ps: i still love exo till the max and everything about them is perfect and theyre just amazing people (everything i said that bts and armys dont really have anymore, i think thankfully, EXO (sorry im biased) most fandoms still have so much of the L O V E there and i find that extraordinary) and he fandom is so comforting and amazing and idk dkdjjdjss thats why i dont want them getting famous worldwide...sorry exols ANYWAY THATS ALL FOR MY RANT ITS 4AM AND I AM THINKING OF DELETING THIS💀💀💀 anywya sorry for taking up so much space but i just wanna say I FREKAING LOVE NO EXIT, NO LIMITS, basically all ur exo fics cuz why not🥺🥺 i think ur writing skills are amazing as well as the plots and all especially forsaken, and THANK YOU for two bbhxoc fics😭😭😭 i cant!!! also if u reached here idk i-🥲 i hope u didnt get mad or offended 👀

Reply under the cut!!

Kpop has become extremely toxic with the growth of international fans and the rise of 3rd/4th gen. I wasn't around to experience the previous generations, but I know damn well they weren't a mess like these newer ones are.

Gaining fame in America does seem to change idols, and idk why. The group members change and the music changes also. While I do enjoy hearing idols swear (guilty pleasure) and I am an American so I get to enjoy their English songs, I can see how it makes all the other cultures/countries feel some type of way.

I will say this, though, the Grammys are shit and I dont get why people care so much about them. They've proven time and time again the awards don't go to the best artists. However, this doesn't mean that I think BTS deserved a Grammy imo.

Americans are a very toxic and hate filled bunch (again, I am one, so I get to see this shit every day). I 100% know that some of the hate directed towards Asians is because of racism (as seen by the insane uptick in crime against Asian Americans right now) and because some see kpop male idols as too feminine.

BTS is literally everywhere, which is one of the reasons I stopped listening to them tbh. They'd be in commercials, on talk shows, late night shows, in magazines, on the radio, just everywhere. It took the joy out of watching anything from them just because they were always in my face, so I can see what you mean.

I feel like the relationship between BTS and army has changed (from an outsiders perspective). Its no longer about loving and supporting your group and being happy for them. Now, its "so-so wants this? We MUST do everything in our power and spam every possible thing ever so they get what they want". Its almost frightening. They also no longer care about the quality of the music being put out. Doesn't matter what it is, they stream the ever loving shit out of it and make it break records when, honestly, it doesn't deserve to (again imo).

Lastly, I didnt get mad or offended haha. I understand a lot of these viewpoints, and thank you so much for liking my work!! I do wonder what would happen if I made a true BBH centric fic and not just spin offs or continuations of previous works where oc ends up with BBH 🤔🤔 I think that fic would have too much power haha.

Ok I didn’t think we’d need to talk about this but I just saw a tiktok about American POCs gatekeeping their cultures.

This is gonna be a long one because I have a lot to say.

The OP of the tiktok (an Asian woman from Asia who is currently living in America) said something along the lines of that American POCs should stop speaking for the mainlanders (people from Asia, Africa, etc.) about other people participating in the culture. (I’m paraphrasing here)

I agree that cultures should be shared and it’s beautiful when it’s done PROPERLY. When I say properly I mean when people participate in a culture that is not theirs because they truly appreciate it and want to know more about it.

She also said that America is the problem because no one in other countries has a problem with this. This may be true, but I don’t think it’s fair to just throw aside and invalidate American POCs experiences or call them overly sensitive.

A lot of the comments I read were along these lines (that POCs were the problem and being overly sensitive about who could participate in their culture)

Some examples of the comments I saw in favor of the video:

- “it’s because in america we’re all so privileged we have to make up oppression just for something to do” (this was said by a white/white passing woman and very damaging)

- “people are a little too sensitive in the comments”

- “Bro EXACTLY. I’m African and I think anyone can wear braids if they want. Like Americans need to chill.”

- one person said that gatekeeping only increases hate and would lead to a race war

The people who were trying to speak in support of POCs in America (and in my opinion their arguments were very respectful and most of them agreed with the sentiment that culture is meant to be shared) were dismissed and called “the wrong side of tiktok”

This very well may only be a problem in America (I don’t know, I don’t know what it’s like in other countries) but it’s not right to blame the POC for it or call them too sensitive.

People in America are very different from people around the world. We have very different experiences.

POCs in America began gatekeeping because white Americans appropriated their culture without giving them the proper respect or credit and then belittled the POCs for being part of that culture.

For example: a black woman wearing braids is considered unprofessional and she could be fired from her job for doing so. On the other hand, when a white woman does it, it’s considered as beautiful and fashionable.

Or a Hispanic person being yelled at by someone they don’t know and have never met to “go back to their country” or that “we speak English in America” while white people go out and enjoying eating Mexican food or Cuban food, etc.

Yes, i would love it if we could share our culture with other people and I would love to learn more about my other cultural heritage, or just other cultures in general, but it’s not the same in America.

I feel like an imposter learning about a different culture, even though I’m technically part of it because I don’t want to come across as rude or insensitive. And it’s not their fault. It’s just how things are in America.

People are literally being killed in the streets just for the color of their skin in this country.

So please, you can have your opinions, but don’t put down other people’s experiences because they aren’t your own.

This goes back to the whole “don’t tell people they are wrong without knowing what they’ve been through” point I made previously.

I really wished we lived in a world where we could all share and enjoy cultures. But we don’t and that’s the point.

Tips for Writing Mixed-Race Characters

First off, I'm mixed-race. Second off, it's always nice to see more people like me represented in media (and frankly, I do not see them enough!). If you think you want to take a crack at it but want to do it correctly, here are some pointers. It's not too difficult, really, so if you're willing to learn, this will hopefully get you started.

Like, do write us. Write us unashamed and happy with our intertwining heritage(s). It's okay to write us unsure of our stance, too, so long as it isn't steeped in us having "issues" some because we're mixed-race. More on that below.

Also, do recognize that mixed-race doesn't just mean you're half black and half white, which is a common go-to if we're around in a medium at all. This isn't to say you shouldn't write characters like this, but that we're all sorts of wonderful blendings. Some of us have a bit of everything! We could especially use more dual PoC representation (Black/Latina, Asian/Native American, etc.).

Do take care to keep any of the stereotypes presented against any parts of our heritages far the hell away. Just because we're more than one race doesn't mean people won't sling insults that "fit" one if they see fit. Making mean comments and """jokes""" about [race] in a part-[race] person's earshot still hurts, among other microagressions.

It’d be cool if you don’t base mixed-race characters’ personalities around them being mixed-race. Obviously our experiences with blended cultures and differing experiences have an effect on who we are, but if you think I spend all my time thinking about how freaking sweet it is to be multiracial...I really don’t lol.

As a more specific recommendation, you seriously don’t need to make a huge deal out of it. To present mixed-race characters as especially outstanding or “special” just because of their race lends itself to fetishization.

To that point, please don’t base mixed-race characters’ personalities around trauma, either! Make them three-dimensional like anyone else. I doubt I need to explain this, but none of us are walking amalgamations of angst and sadness from every “yOu’Re So ExOtIc!!!” and “wHaT aRe YoU???” comment.

This is true of all people writing outside their category, if you will, but please refrain from writing as though you have lived experience as a mixed-race person if you aren't.

For specific things to consider, here are some. Some of these are things that'd make me personally raise an eyebrow—I won't speak for everyone.

Laying on the "What are you?"/"Where are you really from?" regularly and unironically.

(To be fair, though, I do enjoy a good smartass response to the above questions when done right.)

Making the character extraordinarily attractive or "exotic" (🤢) because of their multiracial identity—fetishization in action (which is not to say they can't be attractive, but rather that they aren't intrinsically more attractive than any other race/ethnicity)

Gushing over how cute the "mixed-race babies" will be...uuuugh 😒

For the sake of decency, please avoid the whole "I'm 1/439th Black wassup homeboys!!!!!" schtick if it's unironic.

Not sure if your mixed-race person is tokenized because they're the only one there? Easy: add more mixed-race characters.

In regards to the mixed-breed character – let's go with a half-demon man for this example – you're probably better off not using him, or other fantastic mixes, as a metaphor for actual mixed-race people, especially if his existence gives him a lot of angst/misery. Here is a great breakdown of the issue.

No "just pick one." Please.

Colorism is nasty! Mixed-race people come in every shade and tone! None of this "light-skinned mixed-race woman is prettier than darker-skinned mixed-race woman because of color" shenanigans or I'll be pissed (unless, again, you're using it to condemn colorism)

As with any other race/ethnicity, mind how you describe the skin and features. The aformentioned @writingwithcolor has pleeeenty of resources in this regard.

Lastly, if you're wondering where exactly a mixed-race person is supposed to "fit" among monoracial people in a work of fiction...I'd say, generally speaking, with the people who love them for who they are.

Here are some common stereotypical sayings we might get. Not exhaustive, but you get the drift.

A lot of this will come down to framing, which is largely based around how the writer sees multiracial identity, so I hope my little list is helpful. Representation matters as ever, so please don't forget about us when you're planning your next characters. 💙

That and ask! Ask us. We're here, and many of us are willing to give advice if you want more input! (Myself included. 🙂) You aren't brine rude by seeking out a more complete picture.

Happy writing!

“Ay, Pastilan!”

      There was a time, it was christmas and I was in grade 10 that time as well. We normally go home to our province, which is located in Impasug-ong, Kibenton near Malay balay City. After we arrived, my cat was restless for he is not familiar with the place. It was his first time there. My father said that let the cat roam around so he will be familiar with the place and surroundings. So I let him roam around and get back inside because my mom called me to help her cook our dinner. After cooking, I immediately searched for my cat, I kept on calling his name and he didn’t answer for he normally responded when being called, he would meow back. But there’s no sign of his existence, even a small meow. One hour, two hours, and three hours have passed, still he didn’t show up. My mom called me to eat my dinner, devastated but needed some strength. That night,  I  have been crying a lot,  I can not sleep well. I got up from bed and grabbed my flashlight. I kept on searching  and was about to lose hope. I will just accept what will happen, if he will come back or not anymore. I already lost hope, why of all the time and place, you get to loose a beloved somewhere you are not familiar yourself with. I kept wondering what he might be doing or there maybe other cats, dogs or animals that may hurt him and may be abducted since he was cute and looked expensive (we always wanted to ask the vet what breed he was, never got the chance though until he grew up to be fine mingming)..  Again, I cried until I fell asleep and when I woke up, I was startled by the noise of a cat outside in front of our door. “Pastilaaaaan! there you are, pastilan ah but I’m so happy  you came backkkk! I almost gave up huhu, thought I would lose you forever”, I said to my cat. 

Pastilan is a Filipino word that originally came from Cebu, a province of the Philippines located in Central Visayas Region. Mostly used by Cebuanos and with Bisaya or Visayan dialect and tone, often describing a situation or person. It’s literal translation in english is “Oh my gosh/ goodness!” Used as an expression to stress an emotion, there are four emotions stated below which are; 1.) Expression of great worry or grief. 2.) Expression of feigned surprise or concern, with a disdainful tone. 3.) Expression of pain and annoyance. Lastly,  exclamation of how interesting something is. It has no exact word to translate in tagalog but most likely the same meaning as ‘Makulit’ and ‘Nakakagulat’, an expression word when you are annoyed and surprised. It is an exclamation of surprises. A simple reaction to qualify one’s surprise, a comment to express one’s reaction to something that you are not expecting. Often expressed in the matter of good or bad. The word ‘Pastilan’ is always connoted to be a bad expression or cursed word when in fact it actually is not. It is accused for being a cuss word. They or the Adults, our Uncles and Aunts misconcept the word and and might have fanatically used the word in expressing great disappointment ; “Pastilan  ka!”, “Sus, pastilan!”. 

Going through, there was a movie and  entitled “Panaghoy sa Suba: The call of the river”. The story is set in Bohol, Central Visayas during World War II before, during, and immediately after, the Japanese Occupation of the Philippines.

Duroy (Cesar Montano) is a banca operator who falls in love with Iset (Juliana Palermo), the most bewitching girl in her village. Iset is an obedient child whose father and materialistic aunt hope that she will marry the American businessman who employs her and thereby achieve wealth and status. The resident American businessman, John Smith (played by Philip Anthony), is an abusive, rude and stingy landowner. He notices Iset's beauty but sees her as a potential mistress rather than a future wife. Islet loves Duroy but obeys her parents.

Ibô (Reiven Bulado), Duroy's brother, is also smitten with Iset. As Duroy adores his family and does not want to get in his brother's way, he stops courting Iset. Duroy is devoted to his family, his mother (Daria Ramirez), Ibô and his sister, Bikay (multi-awarded former child star Rebecca Lusterio). Heartbroken after her husband leaves for an American woman and ill, Duroy's mother dies when they run out of money to purchase her medicine. John Smith sees Ibo talking with Iset at the warehouse and shoots him on the spot. Duroy vows revenge.

When the Japanese invasion begins, many men of the village flee into the mountains to become guerillas. The women and children stay, along with an American priest. John Smith is drafted into the American army and leaves. The Japanese commander who arrives notices Iset but does not attack her as many Japanese military personnel did elsewhere in the Philippines during the war. With the Japanese now in power, Iset's aunt wants her to marry the officer.

Several years pass before Duroy and his men launch an attack against the Japanese garrison. The Japanese responded by killing the priest and taking hostages. In 1945, a group of Filipino and American troops arrived to help the Boholano guerrilla force defeat the Japanese troops. Duroy kills the Japanese commander after a long man-against-man battle.

John Smith (mockingly dubbed "White Balls" by Duroy and his friends) returns after the war expecting life to continue as it was before the Japanese invasion. Duroy attacks him but after beating Smith and thoroughly humiliating him tells Smith that he isn't worth killing him. Iset refuses John Smith's clumsy offer to renew their relationship and chooses Duroy.

 A movie that reminiscent the Region’s dialect, culture and lifestyle.  It was released in 2004, Cesar Montano a.k.a ‘Buboy’ decided to produce a movie in the Cebuano language and  acted as the main character.  Many netizens commented about the movie and one of his famous phrases that bisaya and non-bisaya people would totally not forget and would understand during the scenes were “Pastilan” goes from  ‘darn’ to ‘oh boy’ and “Uy kalami!” becomes “How sweet” instead of “how tasty!”. Because of Cesar Montano together with his  movie, the word “Pastilan” became more famous and it spread not just in Visayas, but in Mindanao as well. Having said that, we get to have a glimpse of how the word really is known and used way back, even to the Ancestors. Well, 16 years passed by nevertheless we often still hear this kind of expression.

There are a lot of expressions to be used and ‘Pastilan’ is one of them. True enough, when you are shocked or even pissed, you often tend to say the word. It is a reminder also that whenever some people will hear you saying this, they will think that you are disrespectful, foul-mouthed and even foul mannered. The word PASTILAN, as time passes by, people are now used to using this expression, like, if I/you are gonna say it out loud today, most of the people will misunderstand you. 

As time passes by, the word ‘Pastilan’ is being passed to generations (bisaya people or even other places, inside the Philippines) as a curse/cuss word.  We heard and still hear our forebears say this word (especially to us, bisaya people) and they will scold you for saying it where in fact, we just heard it from them. It became a common belief or idea among the people that the word pastilan is inadequate or not proper to use. For it is just an expression, you cannot expect to not say it unless you never heard it from your elders or to the environment  around you. We are living in the 21st century, a modern generation, for technology is rising up so fast. Why not use this opportunity to discover new words, or words you have just recently heard, their differences and meaning.

But as my mom and ate always remind me and I come to believe that you should always have to be careful on what words you use. You can not take the fact that we are truthfully surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, judging us not just by our appearance but as to what words come out our mouth, judging our Parents or the person taught us our manners. As others would say, “Giunsa man ka ug padako (how are we brought)” that we get to act the way we do. Despite the history and true meaning of such expressions not just this, prevention is always better or being more careful, minding the things or words, instead of bad mouthing rather able that word would be more encouraging. I don’t really have anything against anyone or to the people using the word as a cuss, they have their own side of the story.

Yes!

Via Tom Ley, posted 10 Sept 2020:

This site exists because of the events of Oct. 29, 2019, when we all still worked at Deadspin.

That was the day that Barry Petchesky, who had been a writer and editor at the site for over 10 years, and was at that point the site’s acting editor-in-chief, was fired. He was marched back to his desk by G/O Media CFO Tom Callahan, who made Petchesky hand over his keycard and collect his things while I and a handful of my colleagues demanded to know why he had just been fired. We’d all sprung up from our chairs and started barking half-formed questions, to which Callahan responded by pointing at one of our computers and sneering, "Just look at the home page.”

At that moment, Deadspin’s home page featured stories about wedding dresses, three good dogs I recently met, a pumpkin thief—and no stories about sports. This was purposeful, the staff’s response to a memo sent by the company’s executive editor a day earlier that forbade us from covering topics not related directly to sports. Jim Spanfeller, who had been installed by the private equity firm Great Hill Partners as CEO of our company all of seven months before, responded to this act of insubordination by calling Petchesky into his office, firing him, and then telling him to “get the fuck out.”

I spent the rest of that day and most of the next huddled in an empty corner office with my colleagues 27 floors above the 45th and Broadway intersection of Times Square. The conversations we had in that room eventually led to all of us making the decision to quit in solidarity with Petchesky.

At this point the staff was used to navigating various workplace crises. We’d had similar meetings before, following resignations, sales of the company, layoffs, collective-bargaining sessions, and even a bankruptcy. We used to joke about how no new Deadspin employee ever made it through their first few months at the site without some kind of company-wide crisis.

This meeting felt different, though. Through all the other troubles we had been able to determine that no matter what was crumbling around us, Deadspin was still ours, and the ability to go to work every day and make the website we loved was worth holding onto for as long as possible. But suddenly we were confronted with a vision of Deadspin’s future—one without Petchesky and without the editorial freedom our site depended on—that we simply couldn’t accept.

One colleague, vaguely recalling all the other existential threats we’d survived through the years, summed up our situation neatly, saying through his tears, “They got us this time.”

Within 48 hours the entire remaining staff of Deadspin, 20 people, had resigned. Now, 10 months later, we are ready to start something new.

That’s the story of how we arrived at this point, but if you want to truly understand why we are doing this, you need to widen the scope a little bit. The full story is about more than just an irascible staff of writers reacting flippantly to a memo they didn’t like. It’s a story about what will and won’t be tolerated, both by those with the power to shape the present and future of the media industry, and by those who bear the consequences of how that power is wielded.

The version of Deadspin we walked away from was an immensely popular one. Every day, millions of people visited our site—by the end, a good month saw us bringing in around 20 million unique visitors—to see what we had to show them. You could log on in the morning to read analysis of a hockey game, come back a few hours later to a perfectly crafted headline about Lions fans copulating in a parking lot, and then return in the evening to find out that Manti Te’o’s dead girlfriend was a hoax, or why Greg Hardy was arrested, or what kind of person NBA All-Star Kevin Johnson really is.

Every day offered Deadspin an opportunity—to joke, to argue, to critique, and to uncover. The tenacity with which we seized that opportunity is what electrified the site.

Deadspin didn’t acquire all those readers by accident, and the skills its writers and editors needed to run the site every day didn’t spring from nothing. The site grew and became a better version of itself every day because of how seriously those who were entrusted with it guarded and improved upon the folkways and traditions that had been handed down by previous iterations.

Will Leitch launched the site in 2005, and from the very start gifted Deadspin with a clarity of purpose that persisted right up until our departure. The site’s motto from its 2005 launch until our last day: “Sports news without access, favor, or discretion.” In one of his first posts Leitch explained, “There’s a whole side of sports that, because of either corporate obligations or just plain laziness, never makes it into the public consciousness. We specialize in that side.”

After Leitch came A.J. Daulerio, who understood that the more Deadspin burrowed itself into the negative space created by traditional sports media institutions, the more vital the site became. Deadspin looked at ESPN and newspapers and other legacy publications the way raiding Vikings must have looked at the shores of Britain, dedicating an entire section to exposing workplace harassment at ESPN, revealing sports media stars like Jay Mariotti and Sean Salisbury as frauds and hacks, and routinely securing stories in ways that would make a journalism professor faint.

Those infamous pictures of Brett Favre? Exchanged for a paper bag stuffed with cash.

Tommy Craggs succeeded Daulerio, and during his tenure Deadspin’s already venomous bite was imbued with a political sensibility. The scope and ambition of the site also began to expand during Craggs’s tenure, and eventually the site that had started with a staff of one accumulated a stable of editors and writers, reporters with dedicated beats, as well as the budget and appetite needed to publish the sort of reported scoops and features that rivaled anything you’d expect to find in a prestigious newspaper or magazine. The site also established culture and lifestyle sections, which brought Deadspin’s voice and point of view to bear on all manner of topics, like Gamergate and Wile E. Coyote.

A funny thing started happening around this time: The site that had stood itself up by throwing bombs at various institutions was becoming something of an institution itself. This transformation continued under the stewardship of subsequent editors Tim Marchman and Megan Greenwell, both of whom worked to diversify the staff, further expand Deadspin’s coverage areas, and continue landing the sort of big, industry-leading stories that made the site an indispensable daily read.

After a while it was no longer accurate to describe Deadspin as just a sports site (though the vast majority of its coverage remained sports-related) or as a place to find rude headlines about sports columnists. What Deadspin became, what it was on the day its entire staff resigned, was a full-bodied publication. It married muckraking with a 27-word blog post headlined Tony Dungy Doesn’t Think Michael Vick Is Being Haunted By Dog Ghosts.

To an uncommon extent, readers wanted to know what Deadspin had to say. When other people in the industry would hear about how much of our traffic came directly through the homepage (as opposed to social media or search), they would stare in disbelief. Whenever someone left the site to go work at another outlet, they would invariably send a grim dispatch about how much they missed Deadspin’s built-in audience.

What was apparent to those of us who had spent years reading and creating Deadspin was that the site wasn’t defined by what it covered, but by its sensibility.

People liked reading a site that refused to condescend or patronize, that was comfortable telling ugly truths about sports and the world at large, that was rude, that was mean (usually in ways that were more illuminating than gratuitous), and that was whimsical in ways that were never insufferable. Readers didn’t come to Deadspin every day just to get their sports news or find out who won last night. They came because they liked reading Deadspin.

Where did it all go wrong, then?

There are perhaps too many points on the timeline to discuss. Maybe it was when infamous venture capitalist and Donald Trump confidant Peter Thiel, angered over sister site Gawker’s antagonistic coverage of him, secretly funded a lawsuit against Gawker Media from ex-wrestler Hulk Hogan and structured it to cause maximum damage to the company. (A loss at trial in Florida state court in March 2016 resulted in a $140 million judgment and Gawker Media’s bankruptcy.) Maybe it was when debt-laden broadcaster Univision bought the company at auction that August and then spent the next few years failing to figure out exactly what it wanted to do with us. (To wit, Univision seemed to be under the impression that Gawker Media’s sites would somehow be able to create television shows that would prop up their failing cable channel, Fusion.)  

Even if the dominoes started falling years ago, I never felt the end was in sight until Great Hill purchased the company in April of 2019. They got to work quickly, changing our name to G/O Media, and installing Spanfeller, a veteran of Forbes.com and content mills like The Daily Meal, as CEO. During his introductory meeting with the whole staff, he revealed that though he’d spent his career on the business side of digital media, his true ambition was to publish the next great American novel.

Spanfeller moved through the office like a blunt object, always more interested in how to further monetize the G/O Media sites than in the sites themselves. In an early meeting Spanfeller had with the editorial staff, he told us that his plan was to more than double G/O Media’s annual revenue within a year.

He went about executing his plan by firing the company’s top two editorial leaders, wiping out the investigations desk, and installing a coterie of former colleagues in high-level positions across the company. As Spanfeller molded the company to fit his vision, we at Deadspin found ourselves in a heated confrontation with him.

[…]

Soon it became clear that his plan for juicing G/O Media’s revenue involved turning Deadspin into the kind of site it was never supposed to be. He liked to talk about the site’s position in the “sports category,” kvetching about how poorly our revenue and traffic numbers stacked up against those of ESPN.com and SB Nation.

It didn’t seem to matter to him that sports fans would visit ESPN.com and Deadspin for entirely different reasons, or that every site ahead of us in the “sports category” had exponentially larger staffs, or that some of those same sites relied on hundreds of underpaid and unpaid bloggers to hit their traffic numbers, or that Deadspin was one of the few sites that earned its traffic without resorting to SEO plays designed to capture clicks from people searching things like “Mayweather vs. McGregor livestream.”

None of that seemed to matter to Spanfeller, because he didn’t see Deadspin the way its staff and its readers saw it. To him it was just a valuable brand name within the sports category, and with that brand name came unlimited potential for growth and profit.

[…]

Lately I’ve been thinking of Deadspin as a strange machine. For more than a decade, the people charged with the maintenance of that machine were allowed to tinker with it according to their whims and idiosyncratic tastes. The result of all that tinkering was a machine which, for all its apparent wonkiness, worked brilliantly.

The problem with a machine like that is that it’s difficult for anyone who didn’t build it, or doesn’t respect those who did, to understand exactly how or why it works. When Deadspin’s staffers and readers looked at the machine, they saw a wonderful and whirring contraption, but all Spanfeller and Great Hill saw was an odd collection of valves and pistons. They saw parts, but not the whole.

Spanfeller’s disdain for his own newsroom, the “stick to sports” memo, Petchesky being fired, and the cascade of oppressive ads—they were all signaling the same thing: Spanfeller and Great Hill weren’t really interested in preserving what we had spent the last decade building. Maybe a few components would remain to keep up appearances, but Deadspin’s demolition was coming, and we couldn’t stop it. What we could do was refuse to participate in its destruction.

What happened at Deadspin, what’s still happening at G/O Media, isn’t unique. It’s just a particular version of the same slow-motion, industry-wide disaster that’s been unfolding for years.

[emphasis mine]

Everything’s fucked now.

Newspapers have been destroyed by raiding private equity firms, alt-weeklies and blogs are financially unsustainable relics, and Google and Facebook have spent the last decade or so hollowing out the digital ad market. What survives among all this wreckage are websites and publications that are mostly bad. There’s plenty to read, the trouble is that so much of it is undergirded by a growing disregard (and in some cases even disdain) for the people doing the actual reading.

What readers are being served when a sports blog leverages its technological innovations in order to create a legion of untrained and unpaid writers? Who benefits when a media company cripples its own user experience and launches a campaign to drive away some of its best writers and editors? Whose interests are being served when a magazine masthead is gutted and replaced by a loose collection of amateurish contractors? Who ultimately wins when publications start acting less like purpose-driven institutions and more like profit drivers, primarily tasked with achieving exponential scale at any cost? What material good is produced when private equity goons go on cashing their checks while simultaneously slashing payroll throughout their newsrooms?

Things have gotten so bad that even publications that get away with defining themselves as anti-establishment are in fact servile to authority in all forms, and exist for the sole purpose of turning their readers into a captive source of profit extraction.

The truth is that nobody who matters—the readers—ever asked for any of this shit. Every bad decision that has diminished media—every pivot to video, every injection of venture capital funds, every round of layoffs, every outright destruction of a publication—was only deemed necessary by the constraints of capitalism and dull minds.

This is an industry being run by people who, having been betrayed by the promise of exponential scale and IPOs, now see cheapening and eventually destroying their own products as the only way to escape with whatever money there is left to grab.

The ability of Defector to escape these constraints will depend not only on the quality of our work, but on our ability to avoid feebly chasing dollars through a collapsing digital ad economy. We want the freedom to provide you with a site, custom-built by our partners at Alley Interactive, that isn’t clogged with pop-up ads, banner ads, video ads, and chum boxes full of spammy headlines explaining how That One Girl From Full House Looks Like A Damn Snack Now.

Me:

Nothing lasts forever, not even tumblr, and probably not even Defector.  I gave ‘em a lousy $8 this month. Hopefully I can continue to do so.

Defector’s prospects are grim, not at least because of ALL THE OTHER sporps blergs out there plus the Second Great Depression now underway. How will it end? Sued into oblivion like gawker was? Unable to find enough subscribers or advertisers to fund operations? No search traffic from google? Buried by the algorithm on facebook?  The worrying starts IF defector is viable (ie: people have money to give) and churns out not just great stories and thinkpieces but also good #content to goose the Google and Facebook algorithms. Who knows where things will be in a year.

Here’s the thing IMO: The business elite, the billionaire class, social conservatives from every income bracket, GOP acolytes, and our reviled gatekeepers at facebook & google, all are in unison on the notion that what’s posted online must be controlled.

What’s posted online should never impinge upon their collective dominance.  Authority, especially THEIR authority, must never be questioned. Even one’s inclination to question authority must be countered by intimidation and fear.  We, you and I, can have some left-ish “capitulzm sux” schtick, as a treat, but any and all critical writings on the powers that be and the way things work, anything that raises deeply pertinent and uncomfortable questions on the people who have accumulated outsize power and control over the course of our lives, that must be clamped down upon post-haste.

Peter Thiel and crew successfully went after gawker’s survival, and its select shitty posts from shitty people were a conveniently compelling argument that the website needed to go (not just the shitty people).  Later revelations made the case that much more was at play, somewhat vindicating the suspicions of Gawker’s good writers.

As Gawker has noted over the past decade:

[Thiel’s] vaunted hedge fund Clarium Capital was an abject failure, losing more than 90% of its $7 billion in assets, a decline that Valleywag assiduously chronicled.

He is an arch libertarian who believes that central mechanisms of contemporary society—including representative democracy, universal suffrage, and formalized education—are either outdated or incompatible with human freedom.

He is a loud proponent of “seasteading,” the movement to establish sovereign communities on permanent ocean vessels for the purpose of developing legal systems unencumbered by taxes or any other kind of traditional government policies.

He believes death itself can and should be cheated, and even intends to be cryogenically frozen after he passes away, in hopes that science will one day be capable of reviving him. He literally wants to live forever.

He has backed efforts to question the legitimacy of climate change science as well as political groups opposed to immigration—even though the industry that minted him as a billionaire is heavily dependent on immigrant labor.

Gizmodo’s recent coverage of Facebook, in which Thiel was an early investor and on which he has a board seat, launched a congressional investigation into the company’s news curation practices, and inspired a national conversation about the vast amount of power the company wields—with no transparency and minimal accountability—over who reads what.

These stories, which are only a small sample of those Gawker has published about Peter Thiel, largely concern his professional life: Business ventures, political positions, and public statements. But as he noted to the Times, it was concern for his “friends” that Gawker had covered that motivated his secret legal assault: “One of my friends convinced me that if I didn’t do something, nobody would.”

Hm.

The news business is indeed in dire straits right now.  As noted above in the defector blerg post, it’s definitely true that:

“Every bad decision that has diminished media—every pivot to video, every injection of venture capital funds, every round of layoffs, every outright destruction of a publication—was only deemed necessary by the constraints of capitalism and dull minds. This is an industry being run by people who, having been betrayed by the promise of exponential scale and IPOs, now see cheapening and eventually destroying their own products as the only way to escape with whatever money there is left to grab.”

I contend that THIS IS THE PLAN.  No news, after all, is good news.  Money of course is made, “profit extraction” and/or “value extraction” happens, but these companies are one part cynical profiteers but also one part ideologues: an informed electorate is BAD. Fuck this, the public doesn’t need to know jack shit about anything.

Via The New Republic, posted Oct 2019:

This is not to further pan for lamentations over the demise of a website. Splinter and its parent company was already something of a distressed asset—its status as such, in fact, likely played no small role in attracting the attention of Great Hill in the first place. But the wider world of mass media is filled with other such distressed assets, from the websites spawned in the heyday of venture capital media mavens, to long-standing local and regional newspapers, straining to balance their journalistic mission with an ever decreasing supply of capital.

It feels increasingly like the terms of journalism—which kinds of outlets get to do it, who gets paid enough to live doing it, which communities get coverage—are set by the rich.

The best case scenario is that journalists become part of a billionaire’s patronage network.

When Splinter shuttered, former Gawker writer Brendan O’Connor wrote that “the workplace under capitalism is a dictatorship, and the dictatorship of private equity is an especially arbitrary one.” It’s a shame that journalism—something with such obvious broad societal value, and that should be wholly antagonistic to the rich and powerful—should be mostly done for private profit, with all the compromises that come with that. But the sad fact of journalism’s dependence on profit-making becomes far more grotesque and dangerous when the profiteers in question are financial sector wheeler-dealers.

This particular flavor of profiteers seek a higher yield, faster, with no regard for the long-term sustainability of the business.

Alden Global Capital, which owns Digital First Media (DFM) and its publications like The Denver Post, drained hundreds of millions of dollars from DFM for their own gain. It can be confounding to contemplate: How can a hedge fund profit from destroying the value of what it just bought? Remarkably, they can.

As The American Prospect explainedin detail last year, private equity can make big bucks off destroying local papers if it “strips staffing and siphons off cash flow.” Papers continue to make money off local advertisers who still value them, even as the quality of the journalism collapses; cutting costs by laying off staff or centralizing production can speed it up. Essentially, the long-term consequences to profits don’t catch up fast enough to prevent the hedge fund owners from stripping the assets, who then flip the carcass.

That’s how you end up with instances in which Alden executives “rewarded themselves with tens of millions of dollars’ worth of prime real estate in Florida and the Hamptons for their personal enjoyment.”

The “War on Journalism” isn’t a myth, it’s a bone fide pursuit. There has never been a “liberal media” and the corporations that own news organizations very much prefer it stay that way.  Facebook and google siphoning away ad dollars helps immensely to this end.

Take Advance Publications and the Newhouse family!

Via the CJR, posted Dec 2013:

Often represented to employees as an extraordinary worker benefit, The Pledge, in fact, had its roots in the antipathy of the late Advance founder S.I. “Sam” Newhouse, Sr. toward organized labor.

“I refuse to stand by passively and allow any union to ‘bust’ me,” he wrote in A Memo to My Children, a thin, self-published memoir that is apparently the only personally penned record of his life and career.

After acrimonious and sometimes violent contract negotiations and strikes at Advance-owned newspapers in New York, Oregon, Missouri, and Ohio in the 1930s through the mid-1960s, Sam Newhouse, apparently in consultation with his son, Donald, is believed to have crafted the Pledge. (The Newhouses have declined to talk to reporters and authors about the Pledge, including me when I was researching my recently released book about the “digital first” changes at the Times-Picayune and other Advance newspapers.)

Over the years, the Pledge became “so well-known throughout the newspaper industry that it was almost considered legendary,” according to a 2009 lawsuit by former Mobile, AL, Press-Register Publisher Howard Bronson, who sued after he was dismissed from his $745,000-a-year post at the Advance paper while The Pledge was still in force. (The suit was settled for an undisclosed amount in April 2011.)

When originally instituted in the mid-1960s, The Pledge explicitly promised employees that they would not lose their jobs “because of technological changes or economic conditions so long as the newspaper continues to publish and [employees] are willing to retrain for another job, if necessary.”

It was modified in 2008 to cover only permanent, non-union employees of Advance’s daily newspapers “published in newsprint form.” The addition of this fine print set the stage for the arrival of the digital initiative, which began in 2009 at the Newhouse-owned Ann Arbor News in Michigan. Layoffs were now technically permissible under the still-in-force Pledge because that newspaper went from daily to twice-weekly. And in July 2009, 214 jobs were eliminated at the Ann Arbor News.

Advance rescinded The Pledge altogether in February 2010, when the newspaper industry was deep into its long and ugly nosedive.

“We felt that it was the right thing to communicate to people that we could no longer afford not having the flexibility to do something if the revenue challenges continue,” Steven Newhouse told The New York Times in August 2009. “I think the policy was meant for a time when the newspaper business had ups and downs, but was relatively stable. It was not meant for a time when our newspapers, like others, are struggling to survive.”

…

Deadspin, amongst its furious shitposting, and kinda like gawker (when it wasn’t fucking shitty), spoke truth to power.

There is a concerted effort to end that, online and elsewhere.

There’s a concerted effort to control what’s posted online and what information can be freely accessed.

(my bad and shitty theory: The overarching, unifying reasons are power, control & domination. Conservatives want far-left views that threaten them to be vanquished, businesses want preferential treatment to do whatever the fuck they want, the billionaire class want their wealth protected from the guillotines of the working class, the GOP wants political power in perpetuity, Facebook & Google are run by rapacious ghouls and ideologues.  ALL OF THEM want control over what becomes public information and #content just for their individual safety from the rebellious unwashed masses, as recent advances in AI will mean a lot less people employed anywhere, and that + climate change = guillotines for the rich.)

TL;DR: Corporate media sucks. Check out Defector.

I love Tumblr.  Far more than Facebook, which has become a seething morass of political partisanship, and while I’m all about seething partisanship when it’s discussed by people willing to engage their intellects, I’m less so when “debate” means posting memes and gifs which are, let’s be honest, the electronic equivalent of saying “nanny nanny boo boo”.

Anyway… Tumblr.  You can, to some degree, control your content.  If you are, like I am, mildly (*snort*) obsessed with a certain tall, lanky, Scottish actor, you can find like-minded individuals and follow them and bask in his glory to your heart’s content.  Likewise, you can follow fandoms based on television shows and movies and plays and music… and you get my point.  You’re all here so, of course, you do.

And, if you are interested in things like politics or social issues or the environment or science or all of the above (and more), that content is also readily available on Tumblr.

Generally speaking, I find the folks on Tumblr to be considerably more relaxed and open and accepting than on Facebook.  I attribute that, for the most part, to the members being mostly younger.  I’m a great believer in young people.  The future belongs to them and I am, present circumstances notwithstanding, mostly optimistic about the future. 

I’m a Boomer.  I was born eleven years after the end of WWII. (Good Lord, I feel old!)  There were no twenty-four-hour television or radio stations, and the internet wasn’t even conceived of, even by the most forward thinkers. Doctors still made housecalls as a matter of course.  Milk was still delivered to your door every morning.   The polio vaccine was still being tested.  Putting a man on the moon was a science fiction fantasy.  

As a generation, we “Boomers” were guilty of a lot of things, beginning with not quickly enough shedding some of the baggage from the generation before us. We were still largely segregated and we are paying the price still and we will until - I don’t know how long and that disturbs me more than I can say.  We were too quick to distrust the other - just ask the immigrants that came to these shores during and after the War.  There was a dear older lady in my church when I was in high school.  A kinder, more charitable, more joyful woman you could never hope to meet.  She was a German war bride - met an American soldier and they fell in love and married and he brought her home to his small, south Georgia hometown.  Their first decade was tough - folks were slow to forget and she was sometimes ostracized.  Even when I knew her, people would sometimes refer to her (in lowered tones) as Leroy’s German frau.  

We were abysmal when it came to the environment.  I mean, look at the cars we drove in the sixties and seventies before the oil crisis forced a turn toward economy cars.  Gasoline was $.37 a gallon - and that was hi-test!  What did it matter that my mother’s 1971 Mercury Grand Marquis land yacht only got 11 miles to the gallon?  Gender equality?  Seriously?  Gender Identity?!?!?  How you came out of the womb is what you were.  Period.  And if your family had that special uncle or the aunt with a Very Close Friend, well, it just wasn’t talked about, was it…

On the other hand, there were things we did do.   That social conscience that drives our society today?  You can thank those who loudly and visibly protested the Vietnam War for a lot of it.  Sure, there were anti-war movements always, but the Vietnam War lit a fire that, with the availability of news cameras and microphones and news cycles, burned hot and bright until the last helicopter departed the US Embassy in Saigon on April 30, 1975.  And when the war was over, there were plenty of other things to get riled up about:  the environment, women’s rights, the right to choose, civil rights, gay rights.  Anger over things that are wrong today didn’t just start in the 2000s.  A lot of us - and I mean a lot!  - have been pissed off for a while.

Putting a man on the moon belongs to the generation before the Boomers, obviously, but the drive to continue space exploration - the space shuttle, the probes that are still sailing toward places beyond our solar system, the International Space Station, the Hubble telescope - belong to us.  Medical advances?  Advances in diabetic screening and treatment, the MRI, treatment of HIV/AIDS… Cancer research was largely theoretical until the ‘70s.  The idea of DNA re-sequencing as a therapeutic treatment?  Late ‘70’s.

And as for culture?  My generation embraced the idea of embracing the accoutrements of other cultures.  Clothing, jewelry, hairstyles, music, food… we were all about it.  I see people commenting on “cultural appropriation” as if it’s a bad thing.  We - my generation - considered it to be a tangible form of acceptance.  

(As an aside, I have a dear friend who is battling uterine cancer.  She has lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy.  On one of her “good days”, she and her family took in an Indian (the country) festival and, while she was there, saw an artist creating henna tattoos.  On impulse, she asked the woman to create one for her scalp.  It was a masterpiece, absolutely glorious, and it gave my friend so much of her joy back.  For the first time, she was proud to show herself without a wig or scarf.  I think if I’d heard anyone say anything about “cultural appropriation”, I would have punched them in the mouth.)

My point to this ramble is this.  Lately, I’ve been seeing anti-Boomer things on Tumblr.  Boomers are rude.  Boomers are backward.  Boomers are outdated.  And while I get that it’s just a thing for generations to complain about each other, it’s the absolutism that I see that bothers me.  When I was young and dealing with my parents’ generation, I didn’t consign the whole kit and kaboodle to the Dark Ages.  And, from my viewpoint as an older person, I don’t heave a great sigh and clutch my pearls over the entirety of the Gen X'ers, the Millennials (raised one!), or the Gen Z'ers.  I may get annoyed with one or two individuals and have a sudden urge to shake my cane and yell “get off my lawn, whippersnapper!” but I manage to contain myself.  (There was the young man in the electronics department at WalMart who, in his most condescending manner, asked me if I knew what a USB port was.   I wanted to tell him that I’d been working with computers since before his father first bought his mother a malt at the chocolate shoppe.  Instead, I just gave him The Look™ and he mumbled an apology.)

Absolutism about anything is corrosive.  I mean, think about it.  It lies at the heart of so many of the evils that are tearing at us now.  It feeds the desire to hate all of the “other” because of a crime perpetrated by one or a few.  Wars result from this kind of thinking.  Down through history, you see it.  And it’s so much more easily spread now with social media.  Again, I would abandon FB altogether - except that it’s how I keep up with the folks back home - because it’s become a political, partisan, largely unintelligent cesspool.  All because those on the Left believe that those on the Right are the Minions of Satan and those on the Right think that those on the Left are Bloodsucking Snowflakes.  And, of course, they don’t all think that, but it’s so easy to click a “Like” or a “Share” without really thinking about the message they are sending, and before you know it things are out of control and we’ve put a dictator wannabe in the bloody Oval Office!

(Sorry.  I’m still upset.)

There are those who ask why boomers are offended.  I mean, “ok boomer” is just a joke, right?  Well, yeah, but that same reasoning has been applied to how many derogatory labels.   (I read one comment that “Boomer” isn’t an ageist slur. Except it kinda is, y'know?)  And, again, it spreads and it gets blown out of proportion and there are those who are just ready to jump on a bandwagon - any bandwagon! - and the next thing you know, it’s trending on Twitter and we’ve got one more thing to get mad about that shouldn’t be anything at all because there are so many other things that we really should be mad about and trying to do something about…

Do you get my point?  

If someone of any generation gets on your last good nerve, by all means, express yourself.  (Short of violence, obviously.)  But ease up on projecting the “they’re all bad" mentality.  It isn’t true.  It doesn’t make anything easier.  And we’re all better than that.

Aren’t we?

B#3: Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3: The Unique Japanese Character - - HONNE AND TATEMAE -  “Honne is normally used among friends outside of one’s place of work. There is even a kind of party known as nomikai, where co-workers go to an izakaya (Japanese Traditional Bar) to chat, eat, and drink. On these occasions, you’re supposed to show your honne and talk about your problems at work or in the family so that your coworkers can help you. This is the moment to complain about your or the pest from another department.” (Pg. 937/6539 E-book) I found this excerpt especially compelling as, to me, it contrasts heavily with that of Western (more specifically American) social expectations. In normal conversation with others, especially those you don’t know entirely well, it’s typically frowned upon to talk about your problems. Many people might perceive you as being prone to self-pity or laziness. This makes it hard to connect with others as everyone is constantly dancing around the line that, once crossed if even by accident, can ruin your first impressions. I found this concept, as the author predicted, odd and uncomfortable in theory. However, I believe this is a very beneficial aspect of Japanese society! Being honest about one’s feelings, especially when most time is spent doing the complete opposite to spare other’s emotions, is incredibly liberating and helps further deepen relationships between people. I like the idea of this as it preaches the importance of expressing your problems so that your peers may lend their assistance to you; either in the form of advice or physical help. I believe this is an important player in the generally polite and respectful nature of the Japanese people and beautifully represents the importance of considering not only the feelings of others but allowing yourself to let your feelings be considered and pondered upon also. It’s such an interesting and especially intimate habit. - CHOTTO - “... I also remember a time I asked someone if I could take a photograph of him and he answered with ‘Chotto.’ ‘I can take a photograph of you a bit?’ is what I understood. But what that person really meant was that he didn’t want his photo taken... The Japanese really dread confronting other people, that’s why they hardly ever use the word ‘no,’ resorting instead or other, more subtle and gentler words like chotto or non-verbal language like the neck movement.” (Pg. 1105/6539 E-book) I believe this excerpt further emphasizes both the humble and gentle nature of the Japanese people. Kindness and respect are incredibly important elements of the culture, more so than a lot of western countries. Using the word ‘no’ is often perceived as incredibly dismissive and depending on the tone of voice used, rather rude. This is even true in western cultures (more so in social situations than basic declinations). However, in Japan, the phrase iie is treated like an alien phrase that is generally frowned upon. I think that this makes a lot of sense and has furthermore introduced a very fascinating aspect of Japanese culture and believe it does indeed help to maintain the natural order of kindness and respect. Using the word chotto could be compared to the words we apply at the end of uncertain sentences, (Maybe..., ~ I guess, Is that okay?) Instead of reassuring those we’re talking to of our apologetic intentions or unsure feelings after using such a harsh word such as no, the Japanese have completely substituted that idea with the word ‘ chotto’. It has become the universal method of escaping awkward situations and upsetting others with a direct declination of an offer. Perhaps this has some connections make to Honne and Tatemae, where true intentions and verbal demonstrations are typically very different and rung through very careful consideration on behalf of the receiver.

Content Creator Interview #12

Tissues at the ready, because, sniff sniff, this is the last post in the current series. And we’re ending with me, @ohaine, putting questions to one of my favourite people in the whole world, @likingthistoomuch, who answers questions about her secret squish, how culture and language influence her writing, and why her eyeball occasionally rolls under the bed.

If you’ve been in the Sherlolly corner of the fandom for any length of time at all you’ll already know that likingthistoomuch is funny, sweet and not afraid to say what she thinks. What you may not know is that she’s one of the kindest, wisest people that you’ll ever meet. She’s a beautiful person, a wonderful friend, a bit crazy, a bit sarcastic, and now, by public vote (well, I voted for it), an honorary Irish cailín dána. As if all of those things weren’t enough she’s a damn fine writer too. Want me to prove it? 

Molly looked surprised but followed his lead. They moved to the silent tune being played in his head, upping their tempo as the notes seemed to flow fast and with certainty until they reached a crescendo and slowly seemed to fall as leaves in autumn, leaving a wonderful silence in their wake.

“There’s no silence when I’m around you. It’s music. And its beautiful.”

The simplest symphony, one of her sixty two stories, is one of my all time favourites, and I was so happy to get the chance over Christmas 2018 to pick her brain about where these beautiful words come from.

OhAine: I’m always impressed by the gentle way you treat your words, and I’ve often wondered is that because English is a second language for you?

Likingthistoomuch: I am always surprised when reviewers say that because I honestly just blurt it all out. There is no deliberate attempt to make the words the way they are. And English, though it may seem like my second language, is in a way my first because my entire education has been in English. (I just may be more fluent in it than the local languages but that’s a discussion between my mum and me that you really don’t want to know.) The only real barriers are when it comes to the British way of putting words. Because we are so exposed to American TV, that’s the language that forms immediately in my mind. But it’s getting better, because nowadays it’s all British TV for me! (GoT is worldwide and based in Westeros so it’s not American ok!)

 OhAine:  Brit-picking you mean? Nothing will throw me out of a Sherlock story faster than reading something that just shouldn’t be there, so how do you get around it?  

 Likingthistoomuch: I (le gasp!!) ask people like you and Emma Lynch but mostly I just bulldoze ahead. (My muse lasts less than the winter here so I need to move it quickly.)

 OhAine: And is it that love of film/TV/stories that inspired you to write in the first place, or are you a life-long writer? What was the very first moment that you thought to yourself; I can do that?

 Likingthistoomuch: I would call myself the Accidental Writer (I can almost hear the play-writes scribbling that title down...royalties people!!!). I wanted to read a story with a certain story line, and the then regular prompt takers were all busy. @writingwife-83 was the one who suggested that I try writing the fic on my own, she said, “Why don’t you just give it a go!” And I did. The result, Moving with time, didn’t seem to be too bad considering. Of course I get the cringe moment when I read it now, but that’s what started the ball rolling!

 OhAine: This seems like a really apt moment to slip in a reader question submitted by @writingwife-83. She asked; How does writing inspiration tend to strike for you? Does it hit you out of the blue or does it come from something more external? 

Likingthistoomuch: It’s literally a hit from out of the blue! It can be a movie or a song or recollection of a scene, literally anything. That is exactly why my post-TFP took so long to finish, the story (Our love has a way about it) was just not getting through!! So I look at admiration when writers take on a prompt and expand it into stories. My mind’s inbox is full of Asks, waiting for the brain to acknowledge and work on it :).

 OhAine: When I looked at your sixty two stories as a body, it occurred to me that there are two types of stories that you excel at; Victorian!lock, and short scenes—

 Likingthistoomuch: Ooh thank you.

 OhAine: No, genuinely, no smoke blowing here LOL. I think you have a real affinity for Victorian Sherlock. So, how do you get into the mind set and what about that era particularly inspires you?

 Likingthistoomuch: The mind-set isn’t much of an imaginative journey. We Indians have a saying, "The English left India but left their bastard behind." This refers to the narrow minded, sexist mind-set that was highly followed during Victorian times, remnants of which we are still fighting to get rid of here. Not blaming it all on the English, we have been pretty inventive with our own original regressive thought process too. So for the social mind-set and fic setting, all I need is to look out the window. 

I love putting Molly and Sherlock in that era because on some front, both of them epitomise "not all heroes wear capes". She is trying to reach for opportunities that are denied to her just because of her gender and he is seen as the almost vulgar, rude and insensitive soul who is ready to judge people on their merits alone...(oh how dare he!!) It’s a personal favourite to put them in an era where they do struggle and fight but eventually it always work towards what they want, and of course, they get it via some unrelenting angst but hey what’s the fun if it’s all bubble gum. (It’s almost my inner romantic peeping out but don’t you dare tell anyone about it, I have a reputation to keep!)

 OhAine: I can kind of relate to that – and this is something I put to @hobbitsdoitbetter too, because she writes Victorian era Sherlolly so brilliantly as well – I often think of Molly in the Victorian works as being like Irish women of the last generation who took their small victories where they found them.

 Likingthistoomuch: True, unfortunately every geography and people has a similar story to tell. Things are changing but this change has yet to reach the grassroots levels.

 OhAine: We can’t talk about your Victorian!lock without mentioning With eyes shut tight, where you did a very interesting thing when you switched to John’s voice in a very ACD way. What inspired that? How did you find John’s voice?

Likingthistoomuch: I actually found John's character (and Martin's fabulous portrayal) in TAB to be very interesting. Here is a man who can see what’s correct, will support it but is also so short sighted that he doesn’t realise that in supporting the women's struggle elsewhere he is ignoring the struggle going on in his own home. So there was the empathy for Molly not getting her due treatment as Sherlock's wife balanced by the outrage at her wanting to follow her own heart. Martin's performance in TAB is my favourite of the special and it was fun to try and bring in his voice, the sarcasm battling the disbelief. I had great fun doing it :)

 OhAine: I have this theory that you have a secret squish on John, am I right?

 Likingthistoomuch: You mean crush? I absolutely adore the boots off Martin Freeman, his performance is exquisite. I know we all look in awe at Ben's work, but for me, performance wise Martin takes the cake.

As for John...you know Sherlock puts on a veil of indifference to hide that he feels so much. I think for John it’s the opposite. He thinks he feels a lot and understands it all, but he too is hiding the inner struggling man. That’s why the TLD exchange between these two, (S: Underneath all we may just be human. J:You too? S: No, you too) is so profound. Just as Sherlock found in John a partner, John did too. It’s just that Sherlock accepts that he needs John, John is too blind to understand that he needs Sherlock too. That is one man who has his emotions so cross wired and tangled, it’s a very interesting character. And the thing is I feel Sherlock understands that and hangs on to John, not looking at it as a weakness. John, if he ever introspects, will find his dependency on Sherlock as a weakness. It’s basically asking Sherlock to do something, which he himself would not apply. 

And Martin adds a different layer each time he plays him.

 OhAine: One of my favourites of yours is a short story (<1,000 words), New paths. There’s a very calm, meditative feeling to the story: could you tell me a bit about your inspiration?

 Likingthistoomuch: So, couple of years back we made a trip to England, and had visited Filey, near Scarborough in Yorkshire. After a long drive from London, we arrived and realised that there was a view of this cliff face from our cottage. And while my city bred, urban self gawked at the lovely site, the cloud thing happened and the hills actually turned pink. In that moment, it went all quiet and I literally felt the tiredness from my long journey seep away. And it’s only nature that can do that magic.

While writing New Paths, I wanted to see things from Molly's perspective. Do I feel she broke down and cried buckets and ate two tubs of ice cream? Maybe, but I don’t think so. I think she just felt tired and also at the same time, like a huge weight was off her back. And sometimes, what you need for your soul to just feel even a little better is a few moments away from humanity. Not necessarily to forget things, but more like to recharge your batteries and get the energy to deal with things in a better way. So I made her experience what I did that evening. I made her experience the sea, the beautiful colours that nature shows and just heal her tired heart a little. God knows she needed it.

 OhAine: Misty silhouettes is a unique story, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen one quite like it before. Can you tell me about how it came to you and what are the challenges of writing Sherlock and Molly through so many lives?

 Likingthistoomuch: Misty came about because of Mirrors, a short one I wrote on my phone, half asleep and trying to get rid of an ear (brain?) worm. Kiki had loved it and encouraged me to expand on it, which I attempted to do. I think I had just recently watched a historic Indian movie and was highly impressed with the battle scene, hence the opening sequence. I thought; why not work through time as well as geography, bringing these two closer and closer, like they showed in the short Sherlock episode before S3, where Anderson comments Sherlock is coming home? So they start in ancient India, and then slowly weave geographically as well as chronologically towards their current destination, London. 

The challenges were to keep the story along the same theme as Mirrors, so trying to find characters, stories and their ending as well as the transition into the next life was some work. In short, I feel I have exhausted my small quota of creative imagination where the story stands right now, on the cusp of the last chapter where Sherlock is now in current time. It is definitely NOT abandoned; I have at least formulated ten stories and discarded them all because after such a long journey, Molly and Sherlock deserve a good reunion. And I trust myself to write it one day. Because that right end WILL come, I am sure of it.

 OhAine: Have you found that end yet?

 Likingthistoomuch: I may have! I have just started on that path, praying I stay on it.

 OhAine: What does your proofreading and editing process look like?

 Likingthistoomuch: Going through the document three times, checking for typos. Posting the fic, finding those three escaped typos and correcting them. Finding typos the more times I read a story. Yes, that’s the process. Elegant, no?

 OhAine: Super elegant, LOL!!! You would rather do it yourself than press a beta into service? Or do you find working with someone else restrictive?

Likingthistoomuch: I think it may just be because I am such an impatient writer. I have loads and loads of ideas but putting them on paper takes a lot out of me. So once it’s there, I can’t wait to get it published and for you guys to see (and maybe get a few reviews too.)

I am learning. I do at times ask for help to oversee the plot and the work and it’s worth waiting.

OhAine: But you work without a beta most of the time… Is that a deliberate choice, or something that’s just evolved?

 Likingthistoomuch:  Actually, that’s just how it evolved. My first impression of a beta was someone who would do a read through and call out my typos and grammatical mistakes. Then it dawned that I could ask about the story line and if / how/ will it work. The advantage of working with someone is that you might get a better way of putting your story forward, get help when you are stuck. Or they’ll help you understand character’s motives and inspirations even more, which was a fantastic new experience for me. On the downside you could end up telling someone else's story.

 OhAine: I think that’s a great point; you can end up telling someone else’s story, and it sort of has me reflecting that I’ve done that when I was very new to writing. Has it ever happened – even in relation to reader input – to you?

 Likingthistoomuch: Actually no. But that’s also because almost 95% of my fics are one-shots. As for inspiring something new, only Kiki's advice at expanding Mirrors was an exception. The rest...? I am a free bird!!

  OhAine: I’ve seen it argued lately that sites like tumblr stifle creativity and can lead your writing in directions you wouldn’t have otherwise taken it. What’s your take on that?

 Likingthistoomuch: Oh good question! The social policing at times can inhibit your writing and introduce undue caution at best or a total change of direction of the story at worse. It’s something that every writer has to take a call on, and finally write a story that he or she wants to tell. Because, at least for me, I know when I have written something good, and maybe not many would like it. But it’s the story I want to tell, and if I am not able to do that, no matter how many accolades I get, there would always be a feeling of dissatisfaction bubbling beneath the surface. I may just not share my work next time, and that would even further piss me off :D So not a good cycle to get into. I would encourage writers to take pride in their creation and own it like a boss. Your words indeed are your baby!

 OhAine: Does that mean that social media has been a stimulator more than a damper of creativity for you?

 Likingthistoomuch: So far I have had a relationship with social media where I have been able to distance myself if there indeed is shit happening. Which, if you have been on tumblr long enough, you know is pretty frequent. I keep to my lane, and I expect you to do the same. So far it has been a stimulator, and the few moments where it could’ve been a dampener, I was able to remind myself that’s it’s all virtual and imaginary and I have a real life outside, and hence was able to ignore the shit.

I have a very simple mantra, you no like, you unfollow or block or ignore. I will survive, indeed thrive, in your absence....if I notice your absence in the first place.

 OhAine: The thing that puts me off social media is the combative purity culture that seems to be so prevalent now.

 Likingthistoomuch: *roll my eyes so hard am still looking for my right eyeball that rolled under the bed, the bugger* All I can say is, real life is tough as nails, Social Media should be a platform to release some steam, not to order or bully people around. Again, instead of telling people what to do, what to post it would be better if the Social Police (aka Staff) got their act together and BLOODY ADDRESSED THE PORN BOTS. (I got 5 new followers yesterday and no prizes for guess what they are.)

Also, as a blogger, it’s not MY responsibility to ensure that YOUR children and young people see clean content. There are tags and blocks meant for filtering NSFW stuff. I came to your free site because I thought I could post/follow the stuff I want. And people will always find a way to find 'blocked' content. It’s called Google.

 OhAine: And a few quick fire questions to wrap it up. Starting with: how do you find your titles? 

 Likingthistoomuch: Like literally throwing a net out there and hoping the words caught make sense. Sometimes it’s just *snap* and you have your title, sometimes it takes time. I always hope the story inspires the heading but that rarely happens. Except for my post TFP, Our love has a way about it. That was purely the after effect of finishing chapter 1 that I had been trying for months.

 OhAine: How do you gauge the success of a story? What’s the metric you live by?

Likingthistoomuch: Reviews! Comments! God, I love them. But honestly, sometimes it’s more about being happy myself and putting an honest effort on the paper. I feel the best when I know the job I have done is a good, genuine one, like for Our love has a way about it.  It’s a lovely feeling and very few things can replace that knowledge of a job well done.

OhAine: Do you find writing is an outlet for real life pressure?

 Likingthistoomuch: Not really. How can I say this, it adds a bit of colour? Like people who art! Writing makes me feel good, that I can do things that may not have a tangible benefit for anyone but it is a big achievement for me. And since not many know that I write, it’s a very personal feeling, a fight to the finish with myself. 

 I had a great time addressing all these questions, Áine. I am surprised that the answers aren’t one worded, as I half expected them to be. Caught me in a chatty moment I should say :) This has been a wonderful exercise, and dare I say, a wonderful initiative. Kudos to you for coming up with this. 

OhAine: Aww, thanks Gee, you’re such a sweetie :) It’s been great fun, but I’ll be glad to get Friday afternoons back to normal!!

So guys, that’s it for now. I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who read, followed, re-blogged, liked, left comments, and supported this project, none of which would have been possible without the oh-so many lovely writers and interviewers who gave up their their time to participate, and who so kindly shared their fandom and writing experiences. Thank you all so, so much ♥

I LOVE RAVENOUS MORE THAN YOU DO

RAVENOUS is one of my favorite movies of all time. It may not be the prettiest, or the deepest, or the most refined movie or all time, but it is a true original, and one that insinuated itself into my mental DNA from the moment I saw it. It arrived on home video around the time that I was about to leave for college, so it makes a certain amount of sense that it would have such a lasting impact on the rest of my adult life. I was initially attracted to the its excessive violence, its salt-in-the-wound humor, and its style of rustic perversion to which I was well-disposed since THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE first ruined my life as a teenager. But, there is more to RAVENOUS than these broad strokes descriptors, and looking back, it is easy to see how this unusual film catalyzed my ability to read films, and at the risk of being dramatic, my ability to understand myself.

(why does this movie only have awful posters?)

RAVENOUS is the only horror movie I can think of that takes place during the Mexican-American war, an unconventional setting that is the first sign of how truly odd this movie will be. Guy Pearce plays John Boyd, a soldier who is being celebrated for turning the tide of a major battle. The reality is that he survived the fray by hiding under a pile of his countrymen's corpses, bathing in their blood and viscera, until an unexplainable burst of rage drove him to capture the Mexican commanders, garnering him the undeserved mantle of hero. General Slauson (John Spencer) has Boyd's number, though, and ships the coward off to the impossibly remote mountain outpost of Fort Spencer, a sort of depot for undesirables like himself. No sooner has Boyd resigned himself to his fate, than the group's stasis is destroyed by the arrival of a wandering frontiersman (the incomparable Robert Carlyle) who claims to have escaped from a Donner Party-like tragedy. Naturally, their ingratiating guest turns out to be the villain at the heart of his own story, and worse yet, a carrier of the supernatural wendigo virus that rewards cannibalism with virtual immortality. The whole situation quickly devolves into a Darwian competition to sort out the predators from the provisions, seasoned liberally with analogies to Manifest Destiny and American consumerism.

Writer Ted Griffin's prismatic metaphors could be pretty clunky on their own, with cheeky comparisons between cannibalism and communion, and handy food-related quotations from founding father Benjamin Franklin. Happily, Antonia Bird's distinctive directorial style prevents RAVENOUS from degenerating into a broad-side-of-the-barn satire of American history. Griffin's overly familiar arguments act as stabilizing road signs, as the viewer navigates the otherwise hostile and alien territory explored by Bird. In the broadest sense, RAVENOUS is a movie about bodies out of control: cravings and terrors that annihilate one's self-control, that erode one's dignity, that blend repulsion and eroticism into a noxious but irresistible brew. The body wages war on the personality, the morals, the institutional rank and decoration; it wages war on other bodies, and ultimately on itself. Griffin the cultural critic has his place here, but it is Antonia Bird's unique understanding of frailty and hysteria that makes this movie so affecting.

RAVENOUS begins with a gloriously shocking opener that joins pornographic closeups of the celebratory steak served at Boyd's promotional dinner, with Boyd vomiting violently outside of the dining hall. The body is turned inside out right away in this movie, and this stunt is immediately followed by a similarly disorienting trick turned by the film's main theme. The experimental score, a collaboration between the great Michael Nyman and Damon Albarn from Blur, establishes its power with a composition that is written in 6/7 time, creating a rhythm that is very difficult to follow for the average ear. Thus the viewer is first nauseated by the imagery, then disoriented by the sound, and it is in this unsettled state that one remains for the rest of the film.

There are a number of such bizarre formal techniques to discuss, and they are well matched by Bird's management of her cast. Even for a horror film, RAVENOUS is an extremely physical movie. The terminally guilty Boyd seems to be on the verge of literal implosion; the squirrelly and barely verbal religious fanatic Toffler (Jeremy Davies) scrambles around breathlessly at a pace that puts him in danger of killing himself (which he finally nearly does); the only "real" soldier in the bunch, the nightmarishly aryan Private Reich (Neal McDonough), is first seen screaming half-submerged in a frigid mountain stream, suggesting that even the the conventional trappings of heroism are purely pathological here. Other characters are chronically drunk or high, struggling just to stay awake or walk a straight line. The radical loss of identity in which the organism transforms from a sentient being, into stew in a cauldron, almost seems like a natural eventuality of the abjection and loss of control suffered by everyone at Fort Spencer.

This moral and physical degeneracy, that is the status quo with Boyd and his cohorts, eventually contaminates the mind as well. When I first saw RAVENOUS, I was entirely ignorant of real artistry in film, and whether I knew it or not, my malnourished brain was in dire need of deviance from Hollywood norms of beauty and power. At that time, I was mainly accustomed to two approaches to human behavior in films: First, the James Bond model, in which characters only behave as if they have perfect foresight and complete control of their emotions and deliberation even in the face of catastrophe. I use "James Bond" as the most recognizable face of this hyperrationalism, but this approach pervades most mainstream films involving any kind of peril. How many times have you, the reader, had to sit through a screening in which some know-it-all picks apart the decisions and reactions of every character, as if it were reasonable to expect any person on either side of the screen to behave with robotic pragmatism regardless of their circumstances? But people do expect this from fictional protagonists on the whole. The second approach that I want to identify is mainly relegated to slasher movies; According to this model, characters are permitted to make the stupidest possible choices at every juncture, because the audience has a preexisting assumption that these victims will be sacrificed on the altar of our prudish morals, or simply for the vicarious enjoyment of the power wielded by a Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. What we rarely see in the mainstream, outside of the comedy genre, is shock, mania, hysteria, the loss of one's faculties that comes when one experiences a violent divorce from accepted reality.

Other than the aforementioned TEXAS CHAIN SAW, RAVENOUS was the first movie I had ever seen that addressed the neurological reality of trauma. Boyd's uncontrollable vomiting at the very beginning of the film is just a taste of Antonia Bird's mastery of this subject. She has ample opportunity to address this with her cast when the interloping cannibal "survivor" Colqhoun, first leads the unsuspecting Fort Spencer crew to the cave where he says the "real" cannibal is hiding out. Upon their arrival, Colqhoun throws himself into an alarming fugue state, apparently reliving the trauma of the nightmare from which he fled. He pants and gasps, smirks and grimaces, claws at the air and at the earth, as if to bury himself, effectively scaring the shit out of everybody. After he reveals his true intentions and massacres most of the crew before chasing Boyd and Reich off the edge of a cliff, another interesting neurological event transpires. At the bottom of the hole into which they have plummeted, with Reich's last spasm of life, he clamps his fingers around Boyd's throat  until his maniacal laughter turns into a death rattle. An even finer example comes after Boyd has returned to camp, having shamefully mended his wounds by dining on Reich's corpse as per the wendigo myth. Still recuperating, Boyd greets the arriving officers who are escorting the Fort's replacement commander--who turns out to be Colqhoun, now dressed neatly as the "Colonel Ives" on whom he blamed the cannibalistic murders of his fellow frontiersman. At the sight of this shocking enemy, Boyd pivots wildly and slams face first into the nearest wall, crumbling like a swatted insect on the floor and shaking uncontrollably.

These are some of the principle moments that won RAVENOUS my heart, and that really let me know what I was searching for in films. In fact, this movie was so formative for me that it led to a sort of impromptu ritual of breaking with my childhood. As with all cultists, my desperation to rope in everybody I knew intensified along with my obsession. I couldn't imagine that anybody would reject this beautiful and fabulously unusual work of art. I pulled a lot of wins, but I was in for a rude awakening where it should have counted. I refer to my "best friend" and "high school sweetheart" of about ten years, a guy who dominated my cultural life for almost as long as we were pals, since he was slightly smarter and had slightly better taste than our high school peers, but very little interest in having his mind expanded, as I eventually realized. When I showed him my new favorite movie of all time, I was brutally disappointed by his scoffing at every scene that I considered to be the movie's crowning accomplishments. He scrunched up his face and rejected Reich's murderous dying breath as "stupid" and "fucked up" and "making no sense". Today I'm not sure how hard I tried to explain that, look, we're talking about a character who is on the brink of death, whose final moments were in especially ugly combat, and who is really extremely brain damaged; more to the point, he really hates Boyd, the coward, and may have tried to kill him at some point even if he were fully possessed of his faculties. I mean, we're finally seeing something psychiatrically real here...aren't we? I got the same snotty dismissal from my viewing companion when Boyd went into shock at the sight of Ives--shock, a real acknowledged medical condition--and really during any scene that he considered too awkward and bizarre to be "cool" and heroic. It was at that very moment that I knew we wouldn't be friends for much longer, and we actually fell out of touch a few years later.

With that personal digression out of the way, though, I'd like to return to the cave (don't I always?) to discuss how Antonia Bird, her DP Anthony B. Richmond, and her editorial team work together to keep the audience in more or less the same state of discomfort and disorientation as the characters. RAVENOUS was also the first movie that taught me how to interpret the visual grammar of film, since I watched it so often that, eventually, I couldn't miss what was going on. Bird and co. have a way of distorting and compressing space that prevents the viewer from ever really knowing where you are. When the crew arrives at the low, carbon black mouth of the cave, there is a sense that it couldn't possibly be as deep as Colqhoun's story suggests (and in practical reality, it isn't). When Boyd and Reich creep inside, the tunnel plunges promptly into a weird homey sublevel where Colqhoun had been subsisting on his fellow travelers. This is sort of weird, but not as weird as what happens outside. When Colqhoun plunges into his fugue state, we see in it a sweaty, spittle-flecked closeup. His behavior spooks Toffler, who in his own closeup cowers against his commanding officer Colonel Hart (Jeffrey Jones, playing essentially the same character as in Deadwood). Colqhoun appears to stalk closer and closer to the camera, but how close is he to Toffler and Hart? We have no idea, until he circles back to the pit he just dug and then lunges through the air to plant a knife in Hart's abdomen, gutting him. Then, when Boyd and Reich give chase, there is a moment where Reich stares into the camera, giving Boyd an order. Boyd looks shyly into the camera before glancing off, suggesting that he flinches away from Reich's hateful gaze--but in the next shot, we see that Boyd is actually behind Reich, looking in a completely different direction. Part of me suspects that Bird and her crew were making the most of the small and somewhat sparse-looking patch of woods that they had for this scene, but it gets more interesting later on. As Colquhoun-now-Ives surreptitiously prepares a human stew back at camp, the permanently drunk Major Knox (Stephen Spinella, who seems determined to turn RAVENOUS into a balls-out comedy) shouts down the hysterical Boyd--all in closeup, so where are they? As it turns out, Ives is in one building, Knox stands in a passageway outside the door, and Boyd sits shackled in a separate building in the distant background. Finally, in Boyd's epic showdown with Ives, there is a fascinating moment in which Boyd saunters into the room, gazing staunchly ahead, ready to kill. Cut to Ives standing in front of a roaring fire, spinning neatly to face his adversary--but when we cut back to Boyd, we see that he is completely alone in the space. Shortly, Ives plunges through the ceiling behind him; they were never even on the same floor. RAVENOUS consistently leaves the viewer as disoriented and untethered as its characters are emotionally.

This battle itself harkens back to the movie's crucial focus on the often degrading and humiliating experience of piloting a human body. In both the James Bond and slasher movie models of movie behavior that I previously discussed, a climactic showdown should be fast-paced, furious, with impressive feats of athleticism by the combatants. Not so in RAVENOUS. The final scene is accompanied by an eight-and-a-half minute minimalist trudge through hell by Nyman and Albarn that never threatens to raise your blood pressure with stings or arias. The music perfectly matches this sluggish fight between two men whose bodies have been repeatedly destroyed and recreated. Their weapons are a letter opener, a meat cleaver, a pretty substantial log, and finally, a massive bear trap. The conflict is no clash of the titans, no beautiful realization of the full potential of male aggression. It is gruesome, tragic, and in some way, romantic.

I would be remiss if I failed to dig in to the eroticism of this movie. Like all vampire movies, there is a virgin and a seducer, a victim who calls their lack of worldliness dignity, and a predator who sees chastity as a shameful waste of life. RAVENOUS is one of at least three movies that Antonia Bird made about the unique relationships between men in traditionally male situations. Her heist movie FACE has been compared to HEAT, though I am really thinking of the incendiary drama PRIEST. In this, her impressive directorial debut, a young man of the cloth struggles with the disturbing intrusion of sex into his chaste life, be it in the lives of deviant clergyman, or abused child parishioners, or in his own struggle with homosexuality. Robert Carlyle plays the unhappy lover left out in the cold, drifting down the street on a skateboard like a hovering ghost, trying to convince the eponymous character that love is greater than its stingy biblical proscription. While there are no literal love scenes in RAVENOUS, it takes place in a similar world, made up almost only of men--men who are brothers in arms, who look after each other's souls and bodies, and who even consume each other's bodies, who gain strength from one another by breaking the ultimate taboo. The closing image, of Boyd and Ives pinned chest to chest by the bear trap, bleeding to death in each other's arms, remains for me one of the tenderest images in all of horror cinema.

I would like to close by asserting that Bird's deft exploration of male sensitivity is nowhere more powerful than in her direction of David Arquette, the unlikely shining star of RAVENOUS. The often intolerably wacky comedic actor plays Private Cleaves, an absolute reject from society who (barely) functions as the help around Fort Spencer. He and George (Joseph Runningfox), one of two Native American appendages to the crew, are consistently high out of their minds, which may make them look like fools, but it also designates them as being the most wisely in touch with the genuinely hopelessness of their situation. When George is slaughtered by Colqhoun, Cleaves is left all alone tending the Fort, and he has a few scenes of powerful vulnerability before his inevitable demise. In between two key plot beats, we find Cleaves and George's sister Martha (the quietly wonderful Sheila Tousey) standing together in the snowy yard, observing the new commanding officer's arrival. What should be a forgettably dry piece of exposition concludes with Cleaves instinctively turning to Martha and stroking her hair, which causes both of them to dissolve in tears. In an adjacent scene, Boyd watches through the window as the agonizingly bereaved Cleaves chops wood in the yard, alone. Cleaves, certainly intoxicated, weaves and sweats, giggling in an unnervingly forced manner to try to resurrect the perpetual good time that he once enjoyed with his murdered best friend. The scene dissolves into a fantasy in which Boyd gives in to his mounting cannibalistic urges and eviscerates Cleaves--throughout which Cleaves laughs and laughs with escalating insanity. It is difficult to convey the raw force of the sequence in words, so I will just say this: Early this year, I dared to point out that among the many strange virtues of STARSHIP TROOPERS is the fact that terminal screwball Jake Busey is so warm, so funny, and so emotionally available in that movie that it almost throws off the deliberately boneheaded artificiality of the entire rest of the cast. So, I would just like to conclude that, if your movie involves somebody from EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS or Shasta McNasty, and you get that person to provide you with one of the most sensitive performances in the whole show, you're probably doing something right.

So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.

Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.

Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.

Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.

And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.

And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.

But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.

These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...

I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.

But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.

But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.

And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you

But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.

Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way

Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.

So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.

It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.

I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...

Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.

Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.

Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.

Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”

It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them

When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...

And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’

Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.

Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like

Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.

I like that... i like thay thing we do

In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.

Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.

Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???

Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.

Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.

Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching