for such a silly concept as the master turning every human into him, wilf’s genuine horror of the possibility that even people in their graves now have transformed has stuck with me for years

This is going to be short bc i already have a post up explaining this situation, but I started having seizures, which led to medical costs I couldn't handle bc I have an autoimmune disorder that's been going untreated for years. I got the appts covered bc of an extremely generous friend on here, and had some additional medication costs which I thankfully had enough for. I've been applying to at least 10 jobs a day and had tons of interviews. I'm going through interviews and assessments for several jobs (got more scheduled for tomorrow) Then my card got stolen, and now I am screwed as far as rent goes, even if one of these jobs comes through like today we will still fall short because rent is due on the 1st and we don't get a grace period. I am trying to get the money that was taken when my card was stolen back, but I have been told to wait to hear back after submitting all the details, and have yet to hear back.

Dm me for proof or more details. I will do art for anyone who helps with this and you can commission me at my art blog @theartistrans I just desperately need to get rent. My roommates and I have a huge food garden planted and are working towards self-sufficiency, which we have no hope of if we can't pay rent.

PP -- $C -- V -- kofi

$45/$650

Angel's type is pan men who are mean to him and use his need for validation and affection to manipulate him into doing what they think is "right"

3 Will Be Free - Circus

Last July I said I would let people choose the next video edit I made and here it is! Thank you for your patience as the polls said I had to make this drunk and I do not drink that often. But I hope everyone enjoys this drunken mess of a video.

hey, uh .. mark ? someone told me you were ““having an episode”” and a ““divorce with cesar”” … no idea what they meant by that but figured i’d check on you, i guess. um . are you alright?

- 6

,,.. ..,. , ssSix?

Oh tho. Despite being at a concert at a bar with easy opportunity to have drinks. I looked at the menu as if I was gonna order anything, then thought to myself, "You don't drink anymore, hon" and went "Oh, right" then just got water.

So???? Given how matter of fact that thought was, maybe I really am fully sober from alcohol now. Interesting thought.

One of last posts i have a memory of seeing on instagram before I deleted this horseshit app was some influencer listing costs of attending coachella, flying there from europe and stuff. And she and her man were staying at the hotel instead of tents and driving there with a car everyday so they had to be all sober? What kinda healthy 20 year olds attend a summer festival like that lmfao no wonder flexing how much it costed was the most fun part of it

They say it takes 40 days to break a habit. Yesterday, I hit 40 days sober.

Part of me still hates it. Part of me is counting down the days until my drug test (that I don’t actually have scheduled yet, but it’ll be somewhere in February). I’ve realized over the past week that if I can fix my issues with sleep, fuck with my psych meds a bit, that it wouldn’t be nearly as hard to be sober…if I had a better work/life balance. I like my work. I like my life. My baseline mood is actually pretty good. It’s just that I work around 60 hours a week right now, and beginning February 12th, I will work 70-80 hours per week for 6 weeks straight (anybody’s guess if I will get any meaningful days off), and there is not a goddamn thing I can do about that. I am already pretty burned out as it is, and it is already hard enough to do hobbies at 60 hours —the things keeping me sober and my mental health more or less tolerable— so all bets are gonna be off with 70-80hrs/week. Never mind that when you’re looking a disease in the face that only responds to your treatment when it wants to and may one day decide to kill you just for shits and giggles, sometimes making everything about a flare —from the symptoms to the mental stress— just go the fuck away really is harm reduction.

But, part of me is really, really proud that I’m now 41 days sober. On days when I’m not consumed by work and school (and fighting off a whole ass breakdown cuz the stress while sober is unreal), I’m so much more present in my life. My mind feels sharper. I look in the mirror and I recognize myself. I don’t want to be so emotionally dependent on a substance like I was before December 17th. Feeling like I had to get baked or I was gonna have a bad night. Because at the end, it really didn’t help. But like I said…all bets are gonna be off come 80hr work weeks and concomitant minimal sleep, none of which is under my control, because any help there is better than burning out even more. Because if I burn out much more, I feel like I’ll lose the drive to establish a healthy relationship with substances.

I think the long term solution is gonna be many-fold. I can’t fix everything I need to right now. So the short term solution is gonna be harm reduction, fix what I can, some of the major drives (ie sleep) to use irresponsibly. Keep looking for other things I can remedy. Reestablish as healthy a relationship with weed as I can manage if and when I do resume it. Idk.

For now, at least, I’ve got 41 days sober.

im still thinking about how today during the labs for building materials classes the prof told us not to open the window because he doesn't want anyone to fall out of it

and like ok but we were on the ground floor

God everything is euphoria until I take one thing too personally

I want to murder the love I feel for the man that cheated on me twice and beat the fuck out of me every day while claiming he loved me more than anything

im Gnna be real i Rly, Rly, RLY Dont wanna turn 21 Later this month

okay so in s3e16 reid says he’s been sober for ten months and assuming that episodes are set around the date they air (which they usually are) that means that he got sober in june 2007 so he very conveniently got sober in the break between s2 and s3 which is why we didn’t see it but that also means that despite him acting like none of it had happened from s2e19 onwards he was actually still using during the rest of the season he just got better at hiding it i guess

playing leyla today did nothing but hurt me 🫠

.

i have so much information about this random man’s sex life now because people in their late 20s LOVE telling me too much about their lives and i love listening to people be insane