thinking about Buddy Dawn meeting helio in the afterlife. thinking about buddy dawn asking helio why betral happens. thinking about him (possibly) waking up to kristen, cleric of doubt and uncertainty, chosen of his god , who still doubted the church anyways, reviving him. Thinking about him waking up with the light of twilight and suddenly realizing that none of his frenids nor his god ever had his back.

suddenly realizing that bad things happen to good people. suddenly understanding that when you live your life with blind faith, your afterlife is disappointing, and your "frenids" slit your neck open.

Thinking about him going home to his (probably) ultra religious family knowing that helio did not save him or warn him about the knife at his neck, and maybe even resenting kristen a little bit becuse maybe the chosen one of the church would have been warned. asking himself for the first time why helio did what he did. wondering if this life was worth it.

maybe buddy dawn suddenly knows that this isn't the life he wants. Maybe it takes a whole ark for him to realize it. Maybe he takes revenge out on the rat grinders. maybe he takes his frustration out on helio. maybe he leaves helio for cassandra, letting himself revel in doubt and mistery, allowing him to question "why?" for the first time in his whole life. Maybe he leaves helio for ARNKANA, allowing himself justified rage, and getting the justice he feels he desrves.

god. fuck man. buddy dawn, i hope you find peace no matter what. and i hope you also meet your god and go, "He kinda sucks tbh" and you and kristen bond over that.

i need to go to bed so bad but i can't stop thinking about bi buck and him kissing a man and how that whole scene was so clearly about eddie the whole fucking time. buck's shock when it's tommy on the other side of the door and not eddie. 'trying to get your attention has been exhausting' when he's been huffy and jealous and pissed even when tommy wasn't around, but always when eddie was near. 'my attention?' and the skeptical look on tommy's face, like he already knows this isn't gonna go anywhere but it'll be fun while it lasts and that's fine by him. 'yeah, i guess so' because, yeah, the male attraction part feels right and the jealousy about the closeness between eddie and tommy feels right but something about it is still missing. but, hey, something about him has never clicked in place either, so maybe things aren't meant to. maybe evan buckley is just doomed to live life a little off kilter. it doesn't matter that his whole face lit up when tommy said christopher talks about him all the time, and it obviously doesn't matter that he brought up eddie and how great he is mid flirting two seconds before getting kissed. there's obviously attraction between the two of them, but tommy very clearly knows buck is eddie's in a way he'll never be anyone else's. thanks for coming to my ted talk i'm losing my mind.

in honour of ryan's recent violence against this fandom

reality

So I wrote a little something loosely based on this post I made about Eddie subconsciously associating his future wedding as being with Buck- I haven't written for ages but I thought if I was gonna make it into a fic I'd also have an accidental drunk confession to Buck in there- and this is that. If I ever wrote a whole fic of this there'd be no cheating so dw dw

"It must be nice," Buck says from the floor, "Marr-Marriaging, -having a wedding. I want that, I'd want-"

"I know what you want," Eddie laughs confidently from the empty tub. It feels very zen, lying here with his legs hooked over the circular tub, like lying inside a big cereal bowl. He is so drunk, and giddy and totally at peace with everything, "You want a spring wedding because you want a frankly ridiculous amount of flowers. You want it far enough away from the city that you can see the stars at night, but not so far that it'd cost too much for everyone to travel there. You like the idea of releasing lanterns but you're worried about the environment so you'd probably want - like- doves or butterflies instead-"

"Butterflies," Buck says from the floor, his voice thick, "Eddie, what-"

"M'not finished," Eddie continues with the gravitas of someone so hammered they cant feel their legs but who is nevertheless making an Important Point, "Butterflies, then. You want a light coloured suit, something that breathes well because you'll worry about sweating. Bobby would be doing the ceremony, so maybe Athena to walk you down the aisle? And of course Maddie as your best man. Woman. Person."

"… Maddie?"

"Well yeah," Eddie shrugs, transfixed by how the ceiling seems to be slowly tilting to the side, "Because Chris would be mine, and that way they can both be involved."

There's a frantic shuffling noise from the floor, and Buck's voice is much clearer when he speaks again, "Eddie. Eddie are you talking about- me and you getting married?"

"Who else?" And in his alcohol-soaked state, it's as simple as that- who else. God knows he's tried to fit other people into that role and they just never fit right because the void in his life is so decisively Buck-shaped. Haha, God knows, his chest begins to shake with silent laughter, it's funny, right? Because of the Catholicism.

"And that's-" Buck sounds kind of upset, which makes Eddie pause, why would Buck be upset when there's good booze and the ceiling is tilting and they're getting married? "That's something you want- the-the spring wedding and the butterflies and the-"

Oh, Buck's simply misunderstood, that's easy.

"I just wanna be the guy standing next to you."

Gyaru Noelle 💕...it's what i would say but I'm not sure anymore, it's this gyaru? Or did something else snuck itself in while I was drawing this

rei: but now i’ve learned... that people’s hands feel warm

rei: *grabs kazuki’s hand*

Buck and that Eddie is making me feel things *ducks head* *smiles*

Andrew Scott & Johnny Flynn - RIPLEY (2024) "II SEVEN MERCIES"

I'm very much not normal about loki and mobius right now

I don't think he knew what he was feeling throughout the whole episode. In fact, I don't think he knows quite who is he jealous of, and what is he jealous of. -Oliver Stark

911 characters + text posts part idk

“you can have my back any day” “i lost him” “you saved him” “there’s no one in this world i trust with my son more than you” “i kind of lost it when i told him” “you were there for him when i couldn’t be” “no one will ever fight for my son as hard as you. that is what i want for him” “because, evan. you act like you’re expendable but you’re wrong” “do more” “you don’t want him to end up like me” “you didn’t end up like you” god he sees him. he sees him and he loves him just. something about eddie knowing buck better than anyone else, being there for his lows and his highs and the good and the bad and still loving him so much it’s a part of him is making me light headed.

It’s the way that when Buck told Eddie that he and Natalia broke up, Eddie said, “welcome back to the world of the living, Buck; you were missed.” It’s the way that at the graveyard, Eddie said, “to be honest, you haven’t been the same since [the lightning strike] happened… but how could you be?” It’s the way that, to Eddie, Buck died for 3 minutes and 17 seconds, but he never came back to life. It’s the way that when Buck said he broke up with Natalia because all she wanted to talk about was death, Eddie saw the light in Buck that he hadn’t seen since before he was struck. It’s the way he missed the Buck he was before he died, but didn’t push him. The way he said, “you don’t have to be anything for anybody,” when Buck said he felt that he had to try to be the “same old” guy he was before the lightning. The way that even though Eddie did miss the old Buck, and he did want to be there for him, he gave him the space he needed to heal, even if it meant healing with Natalia. It’s the way that, when Buck told him that he broke up with Natalia, he raised an eyebrow and immediately welcomed him back. In that moment, Buck was alive again and Eddie had him back. It's the way he loved Buck back to life. It’s the way Eddie loves him to his core.