just got home from work <3 I’ll be around in discord after I shower but I’ll reblog that plotting call in case anyone missed it !!

there are two wolves inside of me - one that’s obsessed with ray and sand and the other that is yelling at sand to run from this situation IMMEDIATELY

More updates on the whole job sitchuation this morning including a hurried whispered talk with a coworker while my boss was out for lunch and I am in some respects heartened and in other respects my worst fears about this have been validated

It’s really hit me that before I make any big life decisions of any kind I have to heal and grow more. Like what do I want to DO or BE. I want to get better. I want to be better. (In a healing way. Perfectionism dni)

Beginning to really wonder how much of my financial concern is manufactured and handed to me as opposed to something I'm genuinely concerned by

finished the cozmez memory novel

me to myself, currently: other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are

also me: obviously they have all begun to hate me

work has been WAY less dreadful lately and i feel like im finally connecting with my coworkers because im not as shy & ive gotten more comfortable there and feel more adult in general but idk i think im just feeling down or something because i just cried about not being able to find a clean bowl in this stupid house i haven’t eaten since lunch and theres nothing here that i want/ wont make my stomach hurty except soup and thats going to be so unsatisfying its so dumb but i AM dreading work tmrw we have a meeting which always makes me insane anxious i hate being trapped in a room and having to sit there and not be visibly anxious have to appear cool calm collected but not trying to throw up at the same time like im gonna be anxious all day which means i wont eat much because im afraid of puking and then ill feel worse because im hungrys im going to rip my skin off AHHHHHH!!!! <- thats me screaming

i fear 23 year old me enjoys the supernatural halloween samhain episode as much as 13 year old me did I’m giggling and kicking my feet

GUYS I just landed a full-time job (???? like a job i literally applied for just for the funsies, like in my heart i was sooo sure they wouldn't accept me....i guess my 9 to 5 era has officially started, excited and scared at the same time <3333

trying desperately to get these screencaps of constantine being sweet and polite and saying "how do" in a size tumblr won't obliterate.

also (this is it i promise) this is why i am so INSANELY excited to have my own room soon. like omg. it is definitely not perfect bc it’s at home and there’s a breaker box in it and you can hear footsteps really loud through the ceiling and also again *it’s at home* when i really need to not be living at home. but the quality of life improvement i am about to have is actually INSANE. i will be able to have a space far away from everyone else where i can sing without bothering anyone and play piano and decorate it (mostly) to my liking and have a desk and draw and paint and do whatever. finally!!!!!!!! that is going to fix me!!!!!

i think im in love with amadeus! can you tell us more about them?

amadeus is a little weird, they're an oc with a (vaguely written) self-contained story, and also a fan character whenever i feel the devil take me over, so the details about them are almost intentionally open-ended because they adapt as necessary to whatever situation i put them in. That all being said, when Amadeus is just floating around there untethered inside my imagination, they still have some consistent details I could probably stitch together for you.

Amadeus is based on being a personified wishing star, so are just space themed in general with other concepts mixed in for fun, like a lot of alien lifeform tropes and having some android traits, most to do with their microphone (they’re 100% deaf without it, in practical function its a magical and convoluted hearing aid that their voice also comes out, all of that only when it’s connected. They are narrated by Jack Black.), but I wouldn’t call them inhuman. I also bounce between gender-neutral and masculine pronouns for them, I don’t think either are incorrect.

In any given situation, I always imagine Amadeus as "not from wherever they are currently located". Generally speaking, they're always from space, somewhere within our galaxy, though not anywhere in specific. Literally just not from here.

They also change colors based on YOUR mood if its intense enough, you know like a mood ring. Positive energy really gasses them up so they try to be the guy that makes you smile and feel your best.

When they aren't being adapted to fit another narrative, I imagine Amadeus was once in a band as the lead vocalist until it broke up, and now they're a solo rock star who tours around the milky way performing for other extraterrestrial societies. They love being a performer and making music for other people, because music is what makes people daydream, it's a motivator in the pursuit of your goals, and it's universal. The feeling of people wanting to achieve and reaching for their goals is essential energy to Amadeus as a sort of wishing star, so they don't want to stop making their art despite knowing full well that they, themselves, work best as part of a group and wanting to be in a band again. They're going through MASSIVE burnout as a result of overworking themselves, but aren't ready or willing to admit that yet.

They get forced into a situation that makes them take a break after getting stranded on an earthish planet and end up meeting their mutual pining interest at the same time. their name is informally Glendale, the concept of time and function of Death in a Terry Pratchett kind of way. They’ve also got their own shit going on too, but the two of them are healing together.

thank u for asking u )< u

OKAY THE JO ASK I MENTIONED

I'm working on next week's video and it's just like 8 Characters Appearing In Y8 or whatever, and there's a lot I've scrapped to keep it manageable, but obviously I re-listened to the teaser trailer and it got me thinking about Y8 Jo... as usual...

RGG's connection with reality is tenuous at best, but in the case of prison life especially, it's pretty obvious it's Mostly modeled off of movies and other media. Which is fine, RGG is more often than not actively "going for RGG-ism rather than realism" (per staff interview), but it does mean I'll be BSing my way through most of this ask <3

So unlike America, in Japan, inmates can't just make a list of people who can visit them (I would cry if that were the case). Only family, people connected to the case/law enforcement/civil servants, and people who need to consult them about personal matters with legal consequences (e.g. marriage, childcare, employment) can get in.

Friends and associates aren't generally barred from visitation, but Basically It's A Pain In The Ass that requires consistent correspondence to prove they know each other. On top of wardens summarily rejecting visitation requests they don't think will be Productive for the inmate, there's an additional challenge for someone like Ichi as people with criminal records are deemed Bad Influences and so face higher rates of rejection and letter confiscation.

Now. ABSOLUTELY none of this Actually Matters because we've seen Yasuko (who absolutely should have a right to visitation) get rejected and people who probably shouldn't have a right be able to get in. Most wardens don't actually do their jobs (either because they're corrupt or because they're My Man Kosaka From Y5). Because of that corruption, even if a big deal is made of it (50/50 on that), it shouldn't be too hard for someone like Ichi to arrange a visit. It's just down to whatever Yokoyama and co. think is the best for the story.

HOWEVER. It did get me thinking. Because even before I noticed it was Jo's voice, I noticed he definitely didn't sound surprised to see Ichi. He doesn't miss a beat greeting him. And "been a long time, Ichi" has some nuance to it for being such a simple phrase; if you're saying it, and you're Jo, you're not only not surprised to see Ichi, but also the one who's starting the conversation proper and in control of the conversation, whether Ichi knows it or not. At least that's how it's been used so far and how it's generally used in media.

So it's like, What's The Circumstance Here where Ichi is not only able to meet him but Jo also isn't surprised... are you playing it cool... are you gonna be cunty... have you been writing/calling so you know to expect it... do you have other reasons to expect it... If I May Dream A Moment are you meeting outside of prison, so Ichi's the one who's caught by surprise...

This literally isn't even Anything for how long this ask is lol sorry I'm just. Yeah. I am once again Thinking

nothin like a lil thinkin while we wait for more lad8 news yk..... im an encourager of it hell yeah.......

I wanted to say that i OBSESSED with your tags to your posts when you write your thoughts

^^^its me reading them

STOPPPPPPPPPPP YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🥺🥺🥺🥺 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRYYYYYYY 💕💕💕💕😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥺🥹🥺🥺

I wanna post about my doll collection