Tumgik
#my Halloween hyperfixation is kicking in
thelostboys87 · 7 months
Text
i fear 23 year old me enjoys the supernatural halloween samhain episode as much as 13 year old me did I’m giggling and kicking my feet
6 notes · View notes
bbugyu · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
jeonghan had spent his whole life imprisoned, but being in your service is what finally set him free.
bewitched | coming soon
wc.25.2k | vampire!jeonghan x gn witch!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, horror comedy, band au ?, mentions of past trauma (details under cut), contractual servitude, mentions of blood, minor injuries (just cuts and scratches really), drinking, swearing, smoking, can i write jeonghan without argumentive flirting, vampire kisses (both kinds)
hi everyone! i, once again, have caught up with jeonghan age wise 😎 as of today we are the same age until october. to celebrate, here is an insanely long vampire au i created after this past january when i was hyperfixating HARD on a webtoon called bloody sweet (available to read here!). the circumstances of jeonghan and the mc's relationship and some major plot points (keyword: some) were inspired heavily by that original comic, so i want to give credit where credit is due! though i changed quiiiite a lot, so it's definitely not the same story loool. please enjoy a long burn vampy witchy jeonghan au!
thanks to @sichengtual and @babiemingoo for beta reading!
taglist (send me an ask to be added!): @soobin-chois
the following possibly triggering events happen in flashbacks or are mentioned in dialogue: familial death, suicide attempts, kidnapping/imprisonment, and murder
Tumblr media
"c'mon, it's not that big of a deal," hyejin laughed, tugging your arm. "don't tell me you have a weird feeling, i know that's bullshit."
you swallowed harshly as she dragged you into the main cathedral. her, along with several of your other friends, decided that the only way to properly celebrate halloween would be to find an old abandoned church in the woods and get drunk in the rotting pews, but all the hair on your neck stood on end as soon as you entered the building. you looked around, the light streaming vaguely in through the warped stained glass windows inlaid in stone, and you wondered how long it took for such things to fall apart. how long a place like this could exist in a country where christianity had only arrived in the late 1800s. how quickly it must have been abandoned to have come to this state.
mingyu and jihoon were ahead of you, kicking aside broken wood from the altar to clear space for you all to sit, and your eyes ran up the cross hanging over them. something here didn't feel right, but there wasn't much you could say as you were pulled to join your bandmates.
"did you bring your tarot cards?" hyejin asked, and you just shook your head. "aw, c'mon, hex! you aren't gonna give us fortunes on halloween?"
"not here," you said, rolling your eyes at the nickname as you sat on the pew in the front row, eyes catching mingyu's for a second. "i'm not trying to invite bad juju on my deck."
"hey!" wonpil called, and you looked up behind you, to the choir balcony railing he was leaning over. "check it out, i found an organ!"
hyejin squealed, and you looked to her. "your guitars are in the van, right?"
jihoon laughed. "what am i supposed to do, find a chair to slap?"
"whatever keeps the beat," hyejin teased, rushing up the altar to grab his arm, and you exhaled, glad that her attention was off you. "you have the keys? help me grab them."
"should we really unload the van?" you asked. "what if we need to make a quick escape?"
mingyu looked at you. "weird feeling?"
"oh, shut up," hyejin rolled her eyes, tugging jihoon - the car key keeper - with her back to the entrance. "stop being a baby, we'll get the beers, too."
you watched after them, and jumped when the sound of the organ echoed through the cathedral. hyejin squealed again, giggling, telling jihoon to hurry up while he complained about the two non-guitar players having to go retrieve the guitars.
"i wonder how close that balcony is to falling," mingyu joked, and you looked at him with big eyes. he chuckled. "don't take it too seriously."
you nodded, standing and taking jihoon's place exploring the altar, eyes wandering across the plastered walls. "where's changyoon?"
"who knows," he said, shrugging. "him and wonpil decided they wanted to explore."
your eyes went back to the source of the haunting melody of the organ, and you wondered if your foster brother had joined wonpil, or if he was off in some other back room of the church. you squatted, looking through the debris on floor - there were offering trays, hymnal books, and you spotted a small silver cross half under a sheet of paper. you pushed the paper aside to inspect and felt a jolt of pain.
"ow!" you jumped, instinctively shoving your injured index finger in your mouth.
mingyu looked at you. "you good?"
"yeah," you muttered around the finger, standing and nudging the paper aside with your shoe, revealing green glass under it. you pulled your finger out of your mouth, watching the blood gather on your first knuckle again. "watch your step, there's broken bottles."
mingyu grabbed a larger piece of wood to push aside debris, making space for the others to join later, when someone suddenly jumped out from a doorway to the left of the altar.
"fuck, hyung!" mingyu threw the slab of wood in changyoon's direction, making him laugh and pick up his foot to dodge the splintering wood. "this place is already creepy, cut it out!"
changyoon grinned at you both. "come with me, i found something insane."
you looked at mingyu, who looked back at you, and you both abandoned your post at the altar to follow the self appointed manager of your band through the doorway he appeared from.
in all honestly, you wished you weren't as in tune with your surroundings as you were. it was unavoidable, the way certain places and situations made you feel on edge. you were generally a calm person, but those places and the feeling you got in them had a way of turning you into an anxious wreck. you were able to make it through the haunted house hyejin had dragged the band to the previous week without issue, letting mingyu hide behind you with his hands on your shoulders every time you had to enter a new room, but the back hallways of this church put a weird feeling in your stomach, and it was near impossible to ignore as you stepped over splintering wood.
when you were younger, changyoon had called you a scaredy cat for refusing to go under a bridge near where the two of you had grown up, where a dead body had been found a week later, strapped to cinder blocks in the river. you had believed his words for most of your life, despite the coincidence, but that didn't explain all the dreams you had that depicted natural disasters the night before they occured, or the vivid memories in your head that weren't yours. that hyejin would tell you to bet on which figurines she was going to pull from her blindboxes as a joke, only for you to be right every time. they called you lucky, but you were pretty sure it wasn't luck, especially with the way you would get pushed in the mud in primary school before changyoon had started defending you.
mingyu was the only one that ever believed you when you said something felt off, when you said that you felt like something bad was going to happen. your other bandmates usually rolled their eyes and backed down to appease you, to keep the peace. but mingyu would make eye contact with you, and he was always able to see that you were genuinely shaken, especially because it didn't happen often.
"i don't like this," you said, as soon as changyoon walked through another doorway, his phone flashlight shining in the darkness. "i don't like that room."
mingyu looked at the back of your head, then at changyoon, and the older just sighed and grabbed your hand. "hey, we're all going in together, okay? you'll be fine. c'mon."
you chewed your lip, looking past him into the room. "changyoon, there's something wrong in there."
"impressive, hex," he said, grinning. you had earned the nickname over the years for the express trait that you were displaying in this moment - your sense, and your luck, that your friends always equated to some kind of witchcraft. "aren't you curious why it feels wrong?"
you cursed under your breath, looking away from him. changyoon knew you the best out of anyone in your life - you grew up with him, and his family took you in when you had no one else, making him your closest friend by far. his sly question was the same thing that had gotten you to go under that bridge back in middle school, and he knew you were too easy to convince as soon as your curiosity was piqued.
"hey," mingyu interrupted. "we don't have to-"
"it's fine," you said, looking back at him. his brows creased at you. "i'll be fine. let's check it out."
he eyed you, and agreed as changyoon pulled you through the doorway by your hand, following behind.
"hey, hex," changyoon prompted, directing his light at the wardrobe stood against the wall. "what does that look like to you?"
you gulped. the tall wooden wardrobe looked old, but seemed to be perfectly maintained in the general wreckage that occupied the rest of the church, and you saw two yellow sheets plastered over the seam of the doors with red calligraphy.
you could feel mingyu fidgeting beside you. "aren't those talismans?"
"protective," you agreed, wondering what they were doing in a christian church, then looked at changyoon. "can we get out of here, now?"
"hey," he said, brows knitting when he looked between you both. "if it's sealed, then we're safe, right? unless one of us happens to break the seal…"
"not funny, hyung," mingyu said, eyes stern. "i don't like this either."
changyoon laughed. "you two are too superstitious. c'mon, don't you wanna see what's in it?"
while entering the room had felt wrong, and staying in it felt worse, you almost felt a siren song coming from the wardrobe, unable to pull your gaze from it. you wanted to shake yourself awake, fully aware of the importance of such symbols. someone had placed them there for a reason, and they probably had a better understanding of the beyond than you did, but something in your heart tugged you towards it. "kinda-"
"what?" mingyu looked at you. "you can't be serious."
when you looked back at him, you realized how stupid you were being. "we shouldn't," you agreed, but your eyes caught the talismans again. "but aren't you just a little curious?"
"rock paper scissors," changyoon said, holding out a fist in front of you. "winner opens it."
you looked at him, eyes wide. "winner?"
"not fair," mingyu said, running a hand up his arm, and you wondered if he had the same goosebumps you did. "you know they always win."
he shrugged. "maybe if they didn't cheat-"
"i don't cheat," you argued. "i just-"
"-know what we're gonna throw," changyoon finished for you, teasing. "then you should be able to lose, too, if you don't wanna open it so bad."
"i'm not playing," mingyu said, annoyed. "this is stupid. i'm gonna go find wonpil. you coming?"
you hadn't even realized that the organ had stopped playing when you looked at mingyu. you slowly raised a fist. "after this. you go ahead."
changyoon grinned victoriously when mingyu exhaled, recognizing your need to prove yourself right as he exited the room. "if you guys open that thing, you're idiots."
"play or you lose, rock paper-"
you looked at changyoon's grin, and instantly, you could see his hand with a thumb and finger out. as he yelled bo and threw out his play, you spread your fingers, despite the urge to keep them clenched. he was staring at your hand, and when you looked down, you saw his hand playing the exact way you had predicted.
"fuck."
"i guess you were right," you said, a smile slowly creeping across your lips. "i can lose when i want to."
"you cheated," he accused, muttering about how annoying the situation was, but straightened his spine and looked at the wardrobe. "whatever. deal's a deal."
"you're really gonna open it?" you asked, shocked. "changyoon, those talismans-"
he rolled his eyes, approaching the wooden wardrobe. "you know i don't believe in that stuff."
"and you know that i do," you said, slightly annoyed when you grabbed the back of his shirt. he looked back at you, and you swallowed, eyes going to the seals, and you felt goosebumps on your arms. "changyoon, i really d-don't think this is a good idea. i have a r-really bad feeling."
"relax, hex," he said, looking back at you when he noticed the return of your childhood stutter. you swallowed, and watched as he bent his neck until it popped, holding his flashlight towards the wardrobe and pulling a utility knife out of his pocket. "just stay behind me."
your fist tightened on his shirt, wanting desperately to stop him, but knowing there was nothing you could do when he set his mind on something. he had spent your entire shared youth doing whatever he wanted without heeding much warning from anyone, and all you could do was hope to some higher power that whatever was in that wardrobe wasn't as dangerous as the talismans suggested while he sliced the knife through the yellow sheets sealing the wardrobe.
the room felt suddenly colder than before, and changyoon paused, flipping the knife shut and depositing it back in his pocket as he swallowed. "am i imagining it, or-"
"hyung!"
you both spun, towards the door, when mingyu suddenly appeared with his own phone flashlight.
"wonpil fell, we should get out of here."
your stomach sank. your bad feelings were never wrong. "fell?"
changyoon immediately grabbed your arm, guiding you as he headed towards mingyu. "from where? is he okay?"
"he says he's fine," the guitarist explained, and you looked back at the broken seals upon the wardrobe as you were pulled out of the room. "the stairs down from the balcony broke under him. i think it's just a sprain, but he has a couple scratches and hyejin wants to get him to a hospital. we figured you could check him out."
"okay, yeah. good idea," changyoon said, letting go of you as you all entered the main cathedral again, turning off his phone flashlight. you stopped, looking down the hall towards the room you had just come from.
"you good, hex?"
you looked at mingyu, who had worry painted over his face, and you consciously adjusted your expression, smiling back. "yeah, i'm fine. we just didn't get to open the wardrobe."
he exhaled, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side as the two of you followed your manager down the aisle. "good, that shit creeped me out."
you peeked over his shoulder at the doorway. "me, too."
the rest of your band was out front, gathered around the passenger seat of the van.
"i'm fine," wonpil insisted, whining. "stop babying me."
"it's swollen, pil," hyejin said, pressing a beer against his ankle in place of an ice pack, and he hissed at the cold can.
jihoon spotted you, waving as you walked up. "where did you guys disappear off to?"
"exploring," changyoon said, squatting in front of wonpil, inspecting his ankle. with how reckless and rebellious he acted, you sometimes forgot he was studying medicine. "yeah, that's definitely a sprain. we should get you to a hospital so you can get wrapped up proper."
"told you," hyejin said, shutting the cooler of beers, and wonpil stuck his tongue out at her. "mingyu, can you stick this in the trunk?"
he nodded and exhaled, picking it up, and you followed him to the back of the van where the trunk was hanging open to scan over the contents.
"hey-" you peeked around to the group. "where's my bass?"
"shit," hyejin said, looking back at the church. "i must have left it by the altar, sorry. we were in a rush to get out."
you rolled your eyes, stopping yourself from saying i told you so, closing the trunk before heading back to the entrance of the church. "don't leave without me."
"you good to go alone?"
you looked at mingyu, then nodded shortly, giving him a small smile. "i'll be fine. be right back."
you pulled open the heavy doors, looking around as you headed back up the aisle to the altar. you spotted your guitar case just where hyejin had said she left it, picking it up with your right hand and feeling a sting. you adjusted it to your other hand, pulling your finger into your vision, and you cursed when you noticed the blood gathered on the digit, the cut opening back up, about to stick it in your mouth before someone grabbed your wrist.
you jolted, expecting mingyu or changyoon to have followed you back in despite not hearing them, but you froze when you were suddenly face to face with a man you had never seen before. skin pale as the moon and hair dark as night, his hand wrapped around your wrist colder than the beer on wonpil's ankle. but the most chilling feature were his eyes - one a pinkish red, the other glowing amber, and you almost felt hypnotized by his gaze. he wore a clean suit, shirt tucked neatly into his dark slacks but unbuttoned enough to reveal his equally pale collar bones.
he breathed in heavily, eyes shutting briefly, before they opened again, hooded as he stared you down. "i'll take that," he said, his voice smooth and low, and you could only watch as he slotted your bleeding finger between his lips. you felt every hair on your body stand on end, his eyes shutting again, and you tried to make your body move. run. anything.
"delicious," he muttered, making eye contact again, his lips parting into a smirk. "thanks for letting me out of that tiny closet, i was getting bored."
you watched him lick his teeth, noticing how particularly sharp his canines were, and suddenly snapped out of it, doing the only thing you could think of, swinging your guitar case and clocking him as firmly as you could in the side of the head before sprinting as fast as you could.
"ow!" the man said, grabbing the side of his head as you ran from him. "i bit my tongue!" he watched you fly out the front door, in no real rush to catch you when he knew he could track that sweet smell anywhere, but suddenly felt a weight around his neck. his hand went to it, confused.
"let's get out of here," you said urgently to mingyu, who had been looking at his phone and leaning against the van while he waited for you to return. you quickly climbed through the door, hugging your guitar case between your knees as you buckled in.
"where's the fire, hex?" changyoon asked, laughing as he looked at you through the rearview mirror.
"can we just go?" you said, looking out the door as it closed behind mingyu, watching the church doors.
mingyu's hand found yours when the van started moving. "you okay? you look like you've seen a ghost."
"i-" you paused, swallowing as you considered what you had seen, what you had felt. and while you were pretty sure of what it had been, you were unsure of how to explain it to your friends. maybe a ghost was an easier explanation, only second to calling him a pervert. "maybe."
"you serious?" wonpil asked, spine twisting in the front seat to look at you. "you saw a ghost?"
hyejin laughed behind you. "there goes hex again, always connected to the beyond."
"i don't know what i saw," you huffed, indignant. "but i'm never going back there again."
Tumblr media
jeonghan approached the temple he knew well, not far from the church he had been trapped in, hands tucked into his slack pockets. his eyes scanned the courtyard, searching for the man that had locked him away. "shaman, you around?"
"how did you get out?"
jeonghan jumped, spinning, finding the traditionally dressed man behind him. "how do you sneak up on me if you're just human?"
minghao whacked jeonghan in the arm with his stick, eyebrows furrowed, and the vampire flinched, letting out an annoyed ow! "you were in timeout, who let you out?"
"i dunno, some kid!" jeonghan said, rubbing his arm. "these kids were messing around in the church, one of them cut the seals."
"some kid?" minghao frowned. "don't they know how important talismans are? you were being punished." 
"punished for killing a chicken because i was hungry."
minghao stuck the stick in jeonghan's face, making him jolt back. "all life is precious."
the vampire swallowed thickly. "can you explain this?"
minghao squinted at what jeonghan pointed to - the black leather buckled around his neck, silver spikes protruding. "a dog collar?"
jeonghan huffed, annoyed that someone else had confirmed his suspicion on what it was. "it just appeared. why?"
minghao leaned in, tugging at it, and jeonghan gulped as the shaman studied it closely. "it has strong energy. when? how?"
"when those kids were there, one-" he swallowed again when minghao released the collar to walk around him, studying it from all angles. "one of them had a cut on their finger."
minghao stopped, directly behind him. "you drank human blood?"
"barely!" jeonghan whined, turning to the shaman. "i just licked off what was already on the finger. i was starving, and it smelled too sweet, i couldn't resist!"
he tutted, hand rubbing over his face. "i think you may have found a witch."
jeonghan's eyes lit up, mind swimming as he thought of the implication. "a witch?"
minghao nodded, walking toward the temple. "i did some research when you arrived here. when a vampire consumes the blood of a witch, a servant-master contract is made."
jeonghan followed. "i get a blood servant?"
minghao looked at him. "you're the one with the collar, what makes you think you're the master?"
Tumblr media
after wonpil got wrapped up at a hospital, your friends ended up back at his and changyoon's place to finish out the night, but you couldn't shake your encounter at the church, the eerie feeling you had that you had met something not quite of your world. you had a hard time even believing yourself, but every detail of that man - pale, hypnotizing eyes, sharp teeth - it all seemed too directed towards one answer.
pervert, you decided. because every other option gave you a headache.
"i'm gonna head home," you announced, grabbing your bass and shoving it back into its case. you were too distracted to have fun, and being alone sounded like a better choice at this point.
"lame," hyejin said flatly, tossing her sock in your direction from where she was lounging on the couch, mingyu nodding in and out of sleep next to her. you laughed.
"careful out there," changyoon nagged from the kitchen, making up some drink. "who knows what kinda crazies are out there for halloween."
you gave him a weak smile, waving goodbye, but not saying that you were pretty sure you were one of the crazies people should be worried about.
as soon as you stepped out onto the streetlight lit night, you dug into the inner pocket of your denim jacket as you walked down the sidewalk. you leaned your instrument against the concrete planter that you used to stop by frequently, a decent enough distance from the entrance of the apartment building, extracting a cigarette from the carton and sticking the end in your mouth before flicking your lighter on.
you sat on the edge of the planter as you took a deep drag, eyes shutting as you exhaled, trying to process the day as you shoved the lighter back into your pocket now that you were finally alone. you looked down at your hand, at the index finger that kept bleeding, and realized that it hadn't since you left the church. you inspected it closer, sticking the cigarette between you lips to pull apart the skin with both thumbs, unable to find a hint of the injury.
"hey, sweet thing."
you looked up, gasping, and pulled the cigarette from your lips to choke out the smoke. "y-you-"
he grinned, showing his sharp teeth, and your voice caught in your throat. the man you had been caught thinking about all evening was standing before you, one hand resting on a roller suitcase and the other tucked into the pocket of his slacks, a leather jacket draped over his suit coat, and wearing sunglasses despite the sun being long gone. "those things'll kill you, y'know."
you looked at the cigarette between your fingers, then back at him. "isn't that the point?"
"oh, great, they're dramatic," he said, a chuckle falling out of his lips. "i've been looking for you, by the way. you couldn't have cut yourself again to be a little easier to track?"
"why?" you said, staring at him, unsure of why you felt more at ease now than you had when you first encountered him. before, his gaze sent chills up your spine, put a rock in the pit of your stomach, but now… you couldn't explain it, but his presence felt warmer, despite knowing his skin was cold to the touch. you had always been able to read people's auras - it's what made you keep your current friend group close, knowing that despite their teasing and playful jokes, they would always have your back. this man's aura had changed completely since you ran from him in the church, and that in itself grabbed your curiosity enough to hear him out.
"because," he started. you watched him pull the hand from his jacket pocket, a long finger pulling at the black leather collar around his neck. "that little drop of blood of yours formed a contract, and i plan on making sure you fulfill it."
your eyes stayed on the collar for too long before you blinked. "what?"
he appraised you gently. "you've guessed what i am, right?" you looked away, bringing the cigarette to your lips again to take a drag, and he took the avoidance as a confirmation before continuing. "i've been trying to become human for almost three hundred years, and you're my ticket."
"how?"
he sighed out a laugh. "are you capable of doing anything other than asking single word questions?"
you huffed, shoving your free hand into a pocket and adjusting on the concrete. "yeah, but you're not making any sense. you're trying to tell me you've been alive for three hundred years."
"i've been alive for four hundred," he corrected, head cocking at you with a tired expression. he looked away, brows furrowing. "not-alive. i dunno, it's complicated to explain."
"four hundred years," you scoffed. "and you need me for what?"
he sighed, abandoning his roller case to sit beside you on the planter as he took off his sunglasses, tucking them away in his jacket, and you stiffened at his presence. "witch blood is like poison to vampires," he said, and your fingers clenched in your pocket at the blunt verification of your outlandish theory. "it takes away their power, and the more they drink, the more human they become-" he looked at you, and you kept your eyes forward as you felt his gaze on your profile. "when even the smallest drop is drank," he said, eyes landing on your knuckle. "a contract is formed. in return for the witch's blood, the vampire must offer their life in service until the contract is broken, when the witch dies or the vampire becomes human."
"vampires aren't real," you said, staring at your hands, mind reeling. "there's no way. vampires?"
his hand found yours, goosebumps running up your arm at his cold touch. "do i feel real?"
"honestly?" you let out a smileless chuckle. "not really."
he rolled his eyes, pulling your hand up to his face, placing your palm on his cheek, and you couldn't keep your eyes from him any longer. he leaned into your palm, and you were forced to reckon with the fact that he was incredibly handsome, with round eyes and a perfectly sloped nose, and you tried not to stare at his pouty lips when he spoke again. "you're being rude."
you studied him, eyes frantic as you tried to accept this new truth. "are you gonna tell me goblins and werewolves are real, too?"
he sighed, dropping your hand from his face. "maybe, but i've never met any. what about you, sweet witch? ever seen a man howl at the moon?"
you blinked again. "i'm not a witch."
"oh, contraire, master," he grinned, nudging you, shoving his hands into his pockets. "i wouldn't have this collar if you weren't."
"but i'm not," you argued, turning to him. "i get… feelings sometimes, but i don't, like-" you waved your cigarette in the air like a wand, ashing it with a flick. "cast spells, or whatever."
his eyes went to your lips as you spoke, and you tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped, taking another drag to disguise it. "there's lots of different types of witches."
you blinked at him, about to ask him to elaborate when the apartment building door swung open behind him, and you hurriedly threw your cigarette on the ground to stomp it out when you spotted who was coming out of it, waving away the smoke as you blew it out in the opposite direction. mingyu appeared in the night, sniffing at the air and looking around, immediately spotting the roller case, then you, and his eyebrow creased when he saw the man sitting by your side.
"hex?" he asked, long legs allowing him to approach quickly. "who's this?"
your eyes flicked to the vampire sat beside you, and you cleared your throat to stall. "uh-"
"jeonghan," he said, smiling up at the tall guitarist, and you stared at him. jeonghan. "and you?"
mingyu's expression was stern. "i'm their friend." he shifted his attention to you. "you want me to walk you home?"
your lips pursed before looking back at mingyu, and you gave him a close mouthed smile. the same one you always gave him when you wanted to avoid talking. "i'm okay. i left so i could chat with him for a bit."
he nodded slowly, then looked jeonghan up and down. his eyes went back to you. "call me if you need anything."
you gave him a small wave. "g'night, mingyu."
you watched mingyu stalk off, glancing back at the two of you once, and you exhaled when he was out of earshot.
"you're not a witch, but your friends call you hex?"
you planted your palms over your eyes. "it's a nickname."
"and?" jeonghan asked, smirk on his lips when you slowly revealed your eyes to look at him. "how'd you get the nickname?"
you swallowed. you usually hated explaining this to people, hated the way they looked at you like you were crazy, but considering he was claiming to be a monster of the night and that you were his witchy master, you figured there were few people that would understand better than him. "i get these feelings sometimes," you said, sighing. "like, vibes? i guess."
"vibes," jeonghan repeated, a short laugh escaping him. "kids talk so funny these days."
your eyes found his again, remembering that he had said he'd been trying to become human for hundreds of years. "premonitions," you clarified. "i can predict things easily, and i can tell when bad things are going to happen. i see things in my dreams, even."
he nodded. "is that why you always win rock paper scissors?"
you flinched, brows scrunching at him. "you heard that?"
"i mean, i was in the room," he said, pulling his hands out of his pockets. "sounds to me like you would be burned at the stake if you were from my era."
you considered that, staring down at your hands, wishing your cigarette wasn't under the sole of your boot as you remembered how you had been treated in primary school for being different. "i got burned at the stake in this era, too."
jeonghan ran his tongue over his teeth, inspecting your profile. then, he reached across you, and you were too caught off guard to say anything as he pulled the lapel of your denim jacket forward, reaching into your inner pocket. he put a cigarette between his lips as you watched, shoving the carton into his own coat before lighting it. he exhaled the smoke, away from you, then held it out for you. "three puffs, then you put it out. you're no good to me dead."
you took it, staring at him. "thanks."
he coughed shortly, sniffing and shoving his hands back into his pockets, looking away as you took a long drag. "your friends don't know you smoke?"
you watched the cherry burn as you sucked, exhaling harshly and tapping the ash away. "they think i quit a while back, but…" you thought a second, not wanting to fully get into your personal trauma with someone you met minutes before. "i've been trying, but it's been a hard month. i thought he was gonna stay longer, or else i would have waited til i got home."
"well, he definitely smelled it," jeonghan said, and you let out a short laugh. he looked at you, smiling at your giggle. "he probably thought it was me."
you looked down the street to where mingyu had walked off. "probably."
"well, master," he nudged you again. "i'll hang on to the pack. let me know when you really need one, we can pretend i'm the one with the disgusting habit."
you sucked on your cheek, inspecting his two toned eyes. "you are the one with a disgusting habit."
"what, the blood thing?" he asked, the smile on his lips being replaced by a pout, kicking out a foot and looking away from you. "it's not that disgusting."
you let out another short laugh, and he peeked back at you to watch the way your eyes curved. "you sucked my finger before you even knew my name."
his gaze ran over your face. "and what is it?"
Tumblr media
"you said it was small!"
jeonghan had practically tripped out of his shoes to look around your loft after politely asking if he could come in, and you laughed as you pulled off your coat, pushing his roller case aside in your entry. "it is small!"
he looked back at you, eyes wide. "i've been sleeping in closets for the last fifty years."
you pursed your lips, stifling another laugh as he curiously inspected your bookshelf. you brought your guitar case into the living area, leaning it against the wall next to its stand to be dealt with later. "you were stuck in there for fifty years?"
"oh, no," jeonghan said, eyes still scanning your shelves. "i was in there for three weeks. but there's not many places someone like me can hide out during the day."
you sat down on your couch, exhaling as you watched him move on to your kitchen, touching most of the contents on the counter before leaning over to squint at the pictures on your fridge. "who sealed you in that wardrobe?"
"some stupid shaman," jeonghan muttered, glancing over to you before pulling a photostrip off the fridge. "he's been feeding me mugwort and garlic for a year. one evening with you and i'm closer to becoming human than i ever was with him. who are these people?"
you squinted, recognizing the colors of the familiar strip when he displayed it for you despite the distance. "changyoon is my foster brother, hyejin is our friend from high school. they're both in mine and mingyu's band."
"ah," jeonghan nodded slowly, wanting to ask about your foster brother, but knowing it wasn't the right time as he replaced the strip under its magnet on the fridge. "you're in a band."
"did you think i carried around a bass guitar for fun?"
he shrugged, opening cabinets to peek at the contents. "you smoke cigarettes to die and you brought a vampire slave to your apartment, so i can't be sure of any of your choices."
you sighed, unable to argue, and pulled your phone out of your pocket to check your notifications. 
minnie gyugyu: did you get home okay? minnie gyugyu: who was that guy?? his eyes gave me the creeps ;; were they contacts? minnie gyugyu: where did you even meet him?
"tell him we met on bumble."
you jumped out of your skin, yelping and falling back on the couch with your limbs sprawled when you found jeonghan leaning over you, both his leather jacket and suit coat removed. "jesus christ, announce yourself!"
he stood straight, wincing and putting up his hands. "i'd appreciate it if you didn't mention him."
you stared at him, then laughed out loud when you realized what you had said, sitting up again. "don't sneak up on me!"
"i can't help it," he whined, plopping down on the couch next to you, one foot tucked under him to face you. "i have light footfall. like a cat, or something."
you eyed his pout. "you act more like a dog."
his hand when to his throat, slipping a finger into his collar. "that explains this."
you blinked at him for a moment. "how do you know what bumble is?"
he almost laughed. "i'm dead, not unaware."
"why would i tell him we met on a dating app?" you asked, leaning back on your sofa.
his lips pouted out again, crossing his arms as his eyes went across your high ceilings. "is that not the easiest explanation? a strange man suddenly enters your life and pledges to do everything you ask." he looked at you. "sounds like dating."
"wow," you breathed out. "you're four hundred years old, and you're trying to date someone in their twenties? for shame."
he laughed at that, and you caught yourself smiling at the way his fangs showed. "three hundred and ninety nine, actually," he corrected. "freshly, it was my birthday this month. and admit it, i look good for my age."
you paused. "how old were you?"
his eyes found yours, and he adjusted his posture at the question. "about as old as you are now."
"how did it happen?" you asked, studying him.
jeonghan sighed, letting his head roll back against the sofa, slyly scooting closer to you. "do we have to do this now? i'm starving."
you eyed him. "are you asking to bite me right now?"
"just a nibble," he begged, curling his legs up on the couch, grabbing your hand. "you smell so delicious, just a tiny-"
you yanked your hand from him. "are you serious? i met you today, how do i know you won't just drain me right now?"
he looked hurt, but you knew better than to fall for it. "i don't kill people. it's not my style."
"you're a vampire," you pointed out.
"you're stereotyping!" he argued, eyes big. "besides, i'm trying to become human. that's the whole point of the blood contract."
you studied him. "do you know how much you need?"
his eyes wandered. "i'm not sure, actually. someone once told me it would take a full one to kill a vampire."
"a full person's worth of blood?" you asked, shocked. 
"a full witch's worth of blood."
you swallowed, still having a hard time believing that you could be such a thing. "who told you that?"
he looked at you, and you could tell he was hesitating to answer, even though he spoke with conviction. "the shaman."
you squinted. "you're lying."
"who cares who said it to me," he sighed, collapsing into the cushions. he pouted, eyes shut as he whined. "i can't believe i have to sit next to the tastiest meal i'll ever get and i'm not even allowed to have one bite."
you studied his pouting face, keeping your smile at bay. "tastiest, huh?"
he let one eye peek open, a sliver of amber watching you. "don't get a big head."
"you said it, not me." you adjusted, settling with a shoulder against the back of your couch, sitting sideways to face him. "is... witch blood that special?"
both eyes were open now, and jeonghan stared at you intently. "you have no idea."
you paused. "enlighten me."
you almost flinched when his hand reached out, fingers tangling gently with yours as he pulled it close to his face. he was inspecting the finger you had cut - the finger that had formed your contract - absentmindedly as he spoke. "i haven't been tempted by human blood in three hundred years."
you could feel your heart thumping in your chest, and you pushed down the feeling as he continued pulling your hand closer with both of his. you swallowed harshly. "what about before then?"
his eyes met yours as your palm made contact with his lips. "i don't think you're ready for that."
heat rose up your neck as he inhaled deeply. "jeonghan-"
"i'm sorry," he chuckled, and placed a kiss upon your palm before he pulled you towards him. "you smell so sweet, it's enough to make me go insane."
"i-" your eyes were wide, but you only cowered when he leaned into you. his eyes were different now. darker, and his piercing gaze made you feel small. you suddenly realized you were the prey here - even if he claimed you were his master, he was the powerful beast - strong, silent, fast - and you were but a lamb brought to slaughter.
he was only inches from you at this point, and his eyes flicked down to your mouth. "if you keep biting your lip like that, it'll bleed. and then i really won't be able to help myself."
you gasped, planting your hand over your mouth and furiously running your tongue over your bottom lip, making sure you hadn't broken skin, even if he made it very clear that you would know if you had. he smirked at you, leaning back.
"i'll stop," he said finally, stretching his back and exhaling heavily. "before that poor little heart of yours explodes."
you scoffed, indignant, avoiding his eyes as you crossed your arms and planted your back on the couch, sitting as far from him as you could. did he hear your heartbeat? had he always been able to? you cursed internally. "you're mean."
"guilty as charged," he grinned, watching you kick your feet around with a scowl on your face. "you're obviously not ready. i can wait."
you rolled your eyes, standing from the couch, feeling his eyes follow you, and you hoped he couldn't tell how hot your face felt. "i'm going to the store."
"what are you getting?" he asked.
you exhaled, gathering yourself. "pork blood. or is oxblood better?"
he jumped up, his expression completely changed. "both, please!" his hands were in fists by his face, excited, before he reached out for your hand again. "you're the best master ever."
you couldn't help but smile as you rolled your eyes again, pulling away from him. he was annoying, you thought, and he teased you too easily, but he was still cute sometimes. "you wanna come? i might be a bit, i need to get some other groceries, too."
"okay!" he chirped, rushing over to the door to pull his shoes back onto his feet, and you couldn't help but imagine him with a wagging tail, excited to go on a walk. a giggle escaped you, and he looked at you as he pushed his roller case further into the apartment to get it out of the way. "why are you laughing?"
you shook your head, grabbing your jacket again as you approached the entry to slip your own shoes on. "your mood switched so fast."
"trust me, i still want the gourmet meal," he said, and you stopped in your tracks, looking at him. the entry to your apartment was small, only leaving half a foot between the two of you as he gave you a sideways smile. "but instant ramyeon is good sometimes, too, right?"
you chewed on your cheek, trying to control your heart beat with a subtly deep breath. "give me until february."
his eyebrow quirked. "february? why so long?"
"that's when i graduate university," you said, shoving your feet into your shoes. "i need blood in my brain to pass finals, and we're playing a bunch of gigs all through winter break, but you can have some after my graduation ceremony. only a little at a time, though," you said, pointing a finger in his face. "i'm already anemic, i don't need you making me sickly."
"you're in school?" jeonghan asked, and you giggled at his shocked expression. "why didn't you say so sooner?"
"you didn't ask," you said matter of factly, opening your door. "i also have a job."
he followed you out the door, brows furrowed. "i thought you were in a band?"
"so?" you asked, making sure it locked before heading to the elevator. "i have to make money to live. i can't just bum off a shaman in the woods like some people."
jeonghan scowled at you. "not by choice," he said, crossing his arms and pouting. "so i have to be your slave with no reward until february? how humiliating."
"i didn't ask you to suck my finger," you pointed out. "it's not my fault you have bad timing."
he sighed dramatically, seemingly ignoring your accusation. "you'll be gone all day and asleep all night. how am i supposed to occupy myself?"
you stifled a laugh. "i'm sure you'll think of something."
Tumblr media
"why haven't you come out sooner?" hyejin whined, her brows furrowed at you. "we haven't seen you since halloween."
it had been a while, you thought, at least longer than usual. ten days, maybe? you usually went out to eat with your friends at least twice a week, and you had even shown up late tonight, apologizing profusely, but it was impossible to think of an excuse that wasn't i have a vampire at home that's as needy as a puppy. "work. and school."
changyoon laughed as he grabbed another spoonful of cup noodle fried rice from the center of the table. "don't believe that for a second. did you get yourself a boyfriend?"
"hyung," mingyu warned, the back of his hand hitting the older.
you pushed your lips to one side, grabbing some of the fries that had been ordered before you arrived and shoving them in your mouth, only for hyejin to gasp.
"you did, didn't you?" she asked, grabbing your arm. "is he handsome?"
"i-" you swallowed, looking at her, then at the two boys across from you. mingyu's eyes were wide, and changyoon had a smile sneaking onto his face. "i don't-"
"holy shit," changyoon said, leaning back. "i was just teasing, but hex actually found a man."
mingyu's brows creased at you, and you cursed internally. "is it that guy?"
"what guy?" hyejin immediately asked, looking at him. she looked back at you. "there's a guy?"
"it's not-" you nearly choked, reaching for the jug of water in the center of the table to pour yourself some. "it's really not like that."
"c'mon, hex," changyoon prodded. "aren't we your friends?"
you swallowed down the water, trying to breathe. you looked around the table, and everyone was staring at you with mixed expressions. "it's just... really new."
hyejin smacked your arm. "and you didn't tell me?"
"us," changyoon corrected.
she rolled her eyes. "us, whatever."
"is it that guy?" mingyu repeated. you looked at him, and you thought he almost looked hurt.
you looked down, fiddling with a paper napkin on the table, thinking about how jeonghan had said that dating was probably the easiest explanation. "yeah, it's that guy," you said finally, voice small.
"what guy?" changyoon asked, and hyejin immediately asked mingyu if he was handsome.
"on halloween, hex was outside with some guy when i was leaving your place." mingyu leaned back in his seat, his spoon clattering on his plate when he abandoned it in favor of his beer.
"that's why you left," hyejin said, using her chopsticks to pick out fries. "where'd he take you on the first date?"
you pursed your lips. "we mostly just hang out at my place."
mingyu choked on his beer, nearly spitting it across the table as changyoon laughed at him, and hyejin whacked your arm. "you fox! i can't believe you didn't tell me!"
"not like that!" you wailed, indignant. "god, you guys are so annoying. this is why i didn't want to say anything."
"how can it not be like that?" changyoon asked, rubbing mingyu's shoulder as he recovered. "you say it's new, but you hang out at home? what else are we supposed to assume?"
you huffed, crossing your arms, looking away from them. "assume whatever you want," you pouted. "but we mostly just talk."
"what about?" hyejin asked.
you looked at her, knowing you couldn't say that you mostly talked about the last three hundred years of his life, but you tried to play off the hesitation as being offended rather than floundering for a way to not outright lie. "he asks a lot about the band. and school, because he never went to uni," you started, clearing your throat lightly. "he traveled, instead. he tells me about europe, sometimes."
"he's been to europe?" she asked. "is he foreign?"
"nah," mingyu said finally. you looked at him, and he avoided your eyes. "he's korean. jeonghan."
you blinked at him, remembering that jeonghan had given his name on halloween. you looked down. "yeah, he's korean."
"and why didn't you say anything?" changyoon asked, shoving mingyu's shoulder. "you saw them and didn't mention it once?"
"hex said it was nothing," he said, clearing his throat and looking around the restaurant. "i believed them."
that stuck with you for most of the meal, even though the other two moved on fairly quickly. and while mingyu went on to act normal for the rest of the night, he avoided looking at you, and you struggled to focus on anything else. hyejin was telling a story, something ridiculous that happened at her work, and she gesticulated too widely, knocking an empty bottle off the table.
she gasped when it shattered between the two of you, and you jumped in your seat. "shit, sorry!"
a staff member came over to clean it up right away, and when you stood to get out of the way, you noticed a thin, red string coming from your pant leg. your eyes followed it across the restaurant, where it seemingly went through the wall. your eyebrows creased, leaning over and pulling up the leg of your loose pants to inspect the source, and hyejin whined.
"oh, gosh, hex, you're bleeding! i'm so sorry."
she was right. there was a small cut on the side of your calf from the broken glass, where your pants lifted whenever you sat, and the string came directly from it. you looked up at her, her eyes focused on your leg, and you concluded that you must be the only one that could see it. "it's fine, it's barely anything," you said, and you noticed the string was moving across the wall.
"lemme see," changyoon said, leaning out of the wall booth. you rolled your eyes, but displayed your leg for him nonetheless, and he wet a napkin to wipe it clean, the string going through his hand as he did. "you'll live. should we call your boyfriend?"
"you have a boyfriend?"
your foot landed on the floor as you spun, shoulders raised. "jeonghan?"
and there he was, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket that he wore over a shirt and black jeans, and you saw the little red string tied to his collar. he had his sunglasses on again, but you could still see his round, two-toned eyes through them as he pouted at you. "when were you gonna tell me?"
hyejin laughed out loud, hands covering her face. "oh my gosh, he is handsome."
"what are you doing here?" you asked, hushed, pushing on his chest, and he grinned as he let you move him backwards, away from the table.
"got the feeling my master was hurt," he teased, winking at you as he tugged the string in his collar, and you stared at it for a moment before looking down at where it connected to your leg. "you okay?"
"i'm fine," you sighed. pulling your hands from his chest. "you can go home."
"but you're still bleeding," he said, hand grabbing your arm to keep you close, and you saw his eyes deepen before he leaned into you. he practically purred against your ear when he said "i could take care of you 'round back-"
your face burned, and you pushed him away, mortified at the way hyejin practically choked as changyoon held in his laughter. jeonghan's smile faltered for a second, doing his best to ignore your smell, the way your heart thumped, trying not to slip in front of your friends. "no, thank you! go home!"
"aw, he came all this way!" changyoon said, grabbing his beer. "you're sending him home?"
"yeah!" hyejin grinned up at you two. "why don't you join us, jeonghan! i'd love to hear about europe!"
he quirked a brow at you. "you told them i went to france?"
"i-" you swallowed. "they asked what we talk about."
"here," changyoon said, standing. "i'll take your chair, love birds can sit in the booth."
"love birds," jeonghan repeated, smirking at you as changyoon sat in your chair, swapping your utensils and glasses. "well, go ahead, sweet thing. take a seat."
you ducked your head and slid into the booth next to mingyu, who stiffened when jeonghan joined you, casually throwing an arm over your shoulder. you gave quick introductions, to which jeonghan said i know, i've seen all their pictures, which made hyejin giggle and changyoon eye you curiously. you exhaled, hands on your knees, as hyejin immediately launched into her expected interrogation.
"so, how old are you?"
"almost four hundred," jeonghan replied quickly, and you gave him a look as changyoon laughed.
"wow, hex. older men?"
"ha ha," you joked, grabbing jeonghan's knee, trying to think of a believable and acceptable age. "he's kidding. twenty-seven. can we get more soju?"
"no way," hyejin said, grinning. "born in '95?"
jeonghan blinked at her. "sure?"
"same age!" she said, holding up a hand for a high five, which jeonghan hesitantly gave her as changyoon flagged down a waiter for the soju you requested. "how did you end up going to france?"
"uh," jeonghan rubbed his chin, glancing at you. he had told you a lot about his time out of the country, but never explained how he ended up there. "kind of a long story. this foreigner sponsored me, i guess. hoping i would follow in his footsteps."
"like an apprenticeship?" she asked, fascinated. "what kind of work?"
"not really supposed to talk about it," he said, giving an apologetic smile. "sworn to secrecy. i worked for him for a while, but i didn't agree with the ethics, so i came back home."
you studied him, wondering how much of the truth was laced in his answer, and changyoon whistled.
"must have been bad if you gave up europe for it," he said.
"it…" jeonghan's eyes went across the ceiling before settling on you. he adjusted in his seat. "it was pretty bad. sometimes i wish i had never gone in the first place."
"but it was worth it, right?" hyejin asked. "i mean, you did things other than work?"
"yeah," he shrugged. "i learned french."
you looked at him. "you can speak french?"
he eyed you, a soft smile on his lips. "yeah. te rencontrer était un autre avantage."
you chewed your cheek. "what does that mean?"
"getting to meet you was also a bonus."
your eyes widened and you looked down, flustered, and hyejin squealed about how romantic it all was. mingyu scoffed beside you, leaning over his plate. you chewed your cheek. "you didn't meet me in europe."
"yeah, but i wouldn't have come to seoul if i hadn't gone there first," he said, swirling your water cup with a gentle grip of his fingers. "i would still be in my little farm town," he mused, not mentioning that he would also be long dead.
"okay, i gotta ask," changyoon said, leaning forward. "don't take this the wrong way. what's up with your eyes?"
"changyoon," you hissed, and jeonghan just put up a hand to tell you it was fine.
"i don't mind," he said, smiling at your foster brother. "my mom was albino, i got my eyes from her."
"wow," changyoon leaned back again. "albinism is pretty rare. to what extent?"
jeonghan snapped his fingers, pointing at him. "that's right, you're studying to be a doctor," he said, and changyoon gave you an impressed look as jeonghan thought for a moment. "well, she was pale, and her hair was blonde, red eyes - like me. beautiful, though. she was treated poorly because of her condition, but she's always been one of the prettiest people i've ever seen."
you studied jeonghan's profile, thinking about how he must have not just gotten his eyes from her. no one asked or clarified, for which you were grateful, but you could tell by the expressions across the table that they understood why he spoke about her in past tense, and you realized the table had fallen into silence.
"no wonder you're so good-looking," you said finally, trying to lighten the mood, grabbing your chopsticks to pick at the remaining fries. you didn't look back at him, but you could feel jeonghan smiling at you.
"you think so?" he asked teasingly, arm squeezing over your shoulder. "you always call me a dog, i figured you thought i was ugly."
changyoon laughed as you rolled your eyes. you knew he was baiting you, but you felt the need to indulge him. "you're pretty," you said succinctly, going back to eating fries as jeonghan grinned at you.
"what about work?" hyejin asked. "what do you do?"
"i'm…" jeonghan scratched the back of his head. "i'm actually in between jobs right now."
you nearly choked on your fries. you knew jeonghan hadn't worked a proper job a single day in his damned eternal life, and even though you couldn't say that to your friends, the suggestion that he had just been in between jobs made you laugh.
"stop," he whined, pulling his arm from your shoulder to push you gently. "i'm already embarrassed."
"there's no shame in that!" hyejin said, trying to defend him. "it took me ages to find my current job."
you gathered yourself, inhaling and exhaling slowly. "sorry," you said, wiping your eyes. "i wasn't expecting you to answer honestly."
he crossed his arms, pouting. "i've been honest so far, why wouldn't i be now?"
you giggled, patting his leg. your eyes flicked to the string at his collar again, unable to help the smile on your face. "sorry, jeonghan. forgive me?"
he glared at you, then exhaled, looking away. "i thought you were just stuck with me, but i guess i'm stuck with you, too."
changyoon ended up calling a cab for hyejin so she wouldn't have to take the subway slightly tipsy and alone, and after the four of you waved her off on the street, he looked at you. "band practice day after tomorrow?"
you nodded, smiling. "already have it in my schedule."
"good, i had to play bass for you last week."
you groaned, remembering how annoying changyoon acted when he had to fill in for any of you. you poked at mingyu. "sorry. i won't miss another."
he barely looked up from his phone, giving you a weak smile. "s'fine."
changyoon exhaled, throwing his arm over his shoulder "ready, big guy?"
he nodded, eyes glued to his phone. "yeah, let's go."
jeonghan ran his tongue over his teeth, studying mingyu for a moment before he put up a hand. "nice to meet you guys."
"you, too," changyoon said as they turned. "come hang out more, if you're serious about hex."
jeonghan looked at you as you waved. you peeked at him, then exhaled before spinning on your heels, heading back in the direction of your apartment. "i can't believe you came out."
"you were bleeding," he reminded you, falling into step beside you with his hands in his pockets. "you're my master, i'm supposed to protect you from danger."
"i wasn't in danger," you pouted. "it was just a soju bottle."
"but what if it had been worse," he pointed out, and you sighed when he stuck out his elbow, giving you room to link your arm with his. you had enough drinks to accept the offer, and your cheek landed on his shoulder for a moment as the two of you walked. "no matter what, if you get hurt, i'll come running."
you smiled lightly, pulling him down an offshoot in the pavement to walk through a park instead of on the commercial street. "just because you want a taste."
"okay, maybe," he said, and you laughed. he smiled along with you. "but against my better judgment, i'm also starting to really care about you."
you considered that a moment, thinking about how he had mentioned things tonight that he hadn't yet in your lengthy conversations about his long life. how he had never told you about his mother, even when you had told him about yours. how your parents had been taken from you too young, even if you hadn't revealed details, and how changyoon's family had fostered you until you came of age. "i care about you, too, y'know." you looked over to him. "you don't have to now, but i hope you'll be able to share more of your burden with me in the future."
he studied you in the moonlight when you looked forward, then let out a light chuckle. "you're a sixteenth my age, how did you learn to be so kind?"
you sighed. "when you spend most of your life feeling alone," you said, voice small, squeezing his arm gently. "i suppose you can tell when others feel that way, too."
jeonghan looked down at his feet, and you both allowed the silence, taking in the mixed sounds of city and nature as you wandered the park path that served as a shortcut to your apartment building.
"can i have a smoke?"
he looked at you, fishing in his pocket. "do i stress you out?"
"yes," you giggled, taking a cigarette from the pack as he held it open for you. "nah, drinking always makes me wanna smoke. old habits, i guess."
you held your hand out for the lighter after putting the cigarette between your lips, but jeonghan flicked it himself, cupping his hand next to your face to keep the wind from blowing out the flame as he lit it for you. you looked at his face as you puffed, then down at the tip to make sure it lit fully before pulling it from your lips, blowing the smoke away.
"thank you," you said, bringing it to your lips again to pull a real drag, exhaling happily as he shoved the lighter back in his pocket. you made a face down at the cigarette. "these don't taste as good as i remember."
"that's a good sign," jeonghan said, nudging you with his elbow, and you gave him a suspicious look. he laughed. "you're getting used to not smoking them."
you thought about that. you had asked him for one since halloween, when you had come home late from work and needed to rant about a shitty customer, and he sat dutifully beside you outside your apartment as you sucked it down, practically in tears over how frustrated you were. tonight, though, it was just habitual - the many times you had stepped out of bars into cool nights to have a smoke gave you a pavlovian response of some sorts, leaving you to succumb to your oral fixation whenever you were tipsy in the cold. you looked at jeonghan again, thinking about how many times you had tried to quit smoking in the months prior to his appearance in your life, but this felt the most promising, and it had only been ten days. you hooked your arm in his again, looking out to the night.
"hey," you prompted suddenly, blowing smoke away. "why can't you go in the sun?"
he eyed you. "it hurts," he said. "like a sunburn, but worse and more immediate."
you squinted. "are you sure it's not because you sparkle?"
"oh-kay," he said, dropping your arm from his as you giggled, trying to keep your hold on him. "you did not just compare me to that shitty book."
"so you've read it," you accused, and he looked at you, annoyed.
"absolutely not. why would i read sensationalist teen fiction fetishizing my kind written by a white woman?"
you laughed even harder at that, and jeonghan caught himself smiling at the way you had to cling to him to stay upright, your cigarette barely staying between your fingers as you lost motor control.
"there's only three vampires of color in that book, by the way," he continued, and while he sounded annoyed, you could tell he enjoyed having someone to complain to about it, and he especially liked your reaction. "one of them is evil. that's pretty fucked up."
"you're right," you agreed, eyebrows knit as you looked at him, clutching his arm. you took a quick puff. "that is fucked up. where's the asian vampire heartthrob representation? screw edward cullen, i wanna see chwe eunwool."
he laughed with you that time, and you almost started to feel lightheaded with laughter, though the nicotine and alcohol in your system surely didn't help. jeonghan noticed, not because you showed it outwardly, but because your blood was pumping harder than before, and he let his gaze run to the red string coming from your leg. the scent of your blood had been difficult to ignore at the restaurant, but it had stopped bleeding by now. even so, he stared at it for a long moment, remembering that first taste he had gotten of your sweet blood, and he had to swallow before he spoke. "i should take care of that."
you looked to him, then followed his gaze down. you sighed. "you can't wait til we get home?"
"i've waited this long," he teased, grinning at you, and you just rolled your eyes. "no one's around."
you looked around in the dark. "how do you know?"
"i can hear," he said, as though it were obvious. "there's a bench, if you wanna take a seat."
you pouted at him a moment, then unhooked your arm to march over to the bench, taking one last drag, and he laughed as he followed. you put out your cigarette in the sand pit on the trash bin by the bench and plopped down onto the wood, head spinning slightly at the sudden altitude change, and jeonghan put a cold hand on your forehead. you sighed.
"feel good?" he asked, and you just nodded. "you're warm."
"i may hold it well," you said, dragging his hand down to your hot cheek to look up at him. "but i drank a lot."
he smiled at you fondly, his thumb stroking over your cheekbone. "you are holding it very well."
you sucked on your teeth. "if you drank my blood right now, would you get drunk, too?"
jeonghan laughed, kneeling in front of you. "maybe. shall i check?"
"i thought you were just gonna help it heal," you said, pouting.
he exhaled a chuckle. "i'm just teasing. i said i'd wait until you graduate, i'll keep my word." he placed a gentle kiss on your knee, and even through your loose pants, you could feel the cold touch of his lips. 
"you could have a little," you offered quietly, and he looked up at you as he pulled the leg of your pants up, studying your expression.
"wow, you must have drank a lot."
you huffed, looking away. "nevermind, then."
he chuckled, the exhale of his breath sending chills up your body when it landed on your calf as he brought it up to his lips. sometimes, you were able to forget that he stuck around because he needed your blood - wanted it, too, it seemed. sometimes it felt like he actually spent time with you just for your company, but you winced when you felt his tongue run against the cut, and you were reminded again that there was a contract that kept him tethered to you, even when the string between the two of you faded as your small injury sealed itself with his kiss.
he hummed, looking up to you slowly. "having a taste out in the open like this," he said, licking his bottom lip. "you're even more delicious than before."
you jolted, your foot landing on the ground as you sat up straight, heat rushing to your face. "my first impression of you was right," you huffed, crossing your arms and looking away. "you are a pervert."
he couldn't help the laugh that exploded out of him, and his eyes looked dreamy as he inspected your face. "and now your blood is rushing to the surface," he said, moving to sit beside you on the bench and pulling you toward him. you faltered, suddenly face to face, his cold fingers curled around your jaw. his eyes closed and his forehead landed on yours as he controlled his breathing. "you're lucky i have great self control."
your heart pounded in your chest, and you wondered if that was adding to his struggle. you silently thought that with all he put you through, he deserved the difficulty he caused himself. "you're the one that makes it beat like that."
his eyes opened, and you looked at him sheepishly, your eyes landing on his lips. he winced, pulling away suddenly, and you blinked yourself out of your trance. "we should get home," he said, and you hid your disappointment as well as you could as he pulled you to your feet, wondering if he was only ever tempted by you for your blood. if it was okay for you to feel this way about a man like him, who only needed you for what ran through your veins.
jeonghan said nothing, but without the distraction of your sweet scent, he noticed a new smell, not too far off - the familiar stench of blood being spilt in excess, and he put an arm around your shoulders the entire way back to your apartment, senses on high alert.
**
you were in a cold, dark room, curled up on the stone floor. your body ached, and your wrists felt heavy. you looked around, seeing bandages across them, and while they weren't bloodsoaked, you could feel the injury they covered, and you wondered if you had done that to yourself, or if someone else had tried to kill you. your skin felt tight against bone - dehydrated, you were pretty sure. a door suddenly opened, and you winced at the candle light, shielding your eyes from the tall man that entered. he was a foreigner and notably well off, you could tell, with long blonde hair tied back neatly. or perhaps you were the foreigner in this dream?
"have you changed your mind yet?"
you choked, unable to answer. your throat was dry, parched, and your stomach hurt in a way you had never experienced. how long had you been starving before this point?
the man tossed a loaf of bread your way, and though you wanted to reach for it, your body didn't move. you looked down, hiding your eyes from his gaze, and realized your body wasn't your own, nor were your actions. was this someone else's memory? it must have been, you thought, and you willed yourself to keep your eyes from him, but he reached down and grabbed you by your jaw.
"don't ignore me, darling," he hissed, and you saw that his eyes glowed amber, a color you had only seen on jeonghan. "you can't ignore your fate."
"just let me die," you choked out, and your heart sank when you recognized the voice. tears welled in your eyes when his grip grew firmer.
"admit it," the man spat. "you don't want to die. you just want to kill them, like they killed her." his sharp teeth shone behind curled lips. "i can help you."
you jolted awake, gasping for air, and your hand immediately went to your throat, expecting the cold touch that had been there only moments before. there was a weight on you, and you sat up, finding that jeonghan had curled himself around you in your sleep. he mumbled and stirred with your movement.
you stared at him. "i thought you slept standing."
he stretched. "nights are too long in the winter, i wanted a nap and you always smell so goo-" he interrupted himself with a yawn and smacked his lips twice, then furrowed his brows when he focused on your face. he sat up immediately. "what's wrong? nightmare?"
you didn't realize you were crying until his hand went to your face, his cold thumbs wiping away the tears. he had been with you for nearly a month now, hiding away in your apartment while you went about your daily life, and it would be a flat out lie if you said coming home to him wasn't the best part of your day. but with his increased presence in your life, it was no wonder you had tapped into his past. you swallowed. "i think it was a memory."
"a memory?" he asked, studying your eyes. "yours?"
you shook your head, and he must have realized what that meant. his shoulder slumped slightly, and you grabbed his hand from your cheek. "it was in a cell. who-" you paused, swallowing. you had so many questions. "he said he could h-help you kill..."
jeonghan turned from you completely, hand dropping to your lap, eyes scanning across your duvet. "is this what you meant when you said you saw things in your dreams?"
"i'm sorry," you choked, and you wrapped your arms around him, your cheek landing on his shoulder. "you don't have to talk about it. i'm sorry."
"he's my sire," he said flatly, and you froze against him. "he found me bleeding out in the woods of my hometown and took me prisoner."
your thumb made circular motions on his arm, not letting go of your grip around him. the foreigner that wanted him to follow in his footsteps. "how long?"
"i don't know," he admitted. "it felt like so long, but i don't know. months? a year, maybe?"
your grip around him tightened. "i'm so sorry."
"how much did you see?" he asked softly, his hand finding your knee through the blankets.
"enough to know it was hell," you said, pulling away finally. you sniffed harshly, wiping at your face. his eyes met yours, and you chewed your lip. "he turned you against your will, didn't he?"
jeonghan looked away again, exhaling, grateful that you hadn't seen the answer for yourself. "he did."
you looked down at his hand, watching it grip you gently. "is that why you want to turn back? because you didn't want it in the first place?"
he paused. "partly."
your eyes went back to his profile. "who was he talking-"
"that's enough," he said, sniffing harshly. "we can discuss it another time."
"o-of course," you said hastily. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to push-"
"it's not your fault," he said, glancing at you. "you saw it, you're right to have questions. i just don't think i can answer any more right now."
you nodded, landing your forehead on his shoulder. "take your time. if you can wait for me, i can wait for you."
jeonghan exhaled, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you back down into your bed. you adjusted, squirming until you could comfortably curl into his side, and he put his cheek on your head. he wondered if he could just hear your heart beating, or if his was, too. "you're so special," he said finally.
you paused, unable to think of a response for a moment. "i'm not that special."
"but you are," he said, hand running up your arm. his eyes shut as he tried to remember if he had ever felt this comforted before, even before he had turned. even before she had been taken from him. "i'm nothing but a cold blooded monster, and yet you make my chest warm."
Tumblr media
you came home later than usual, caught up at the library with changyoon studying for your finals without the distraction of your new vampire roommate, and the first thing you noticed when you opened your door was the sound of your bass.
"i'm home," you announced as you entered the living room, and jeonghan smiled at you from his cross legged seat on the couch when he paused his playing.
"welcome back," he said, setting your bass on its stand as he approached you, wrapping you in a hug. "done studying for today?"
you nodded, exhaling into the embrace. "i didn't know you played."
"i tried it back in the seventies," he said when he pulled away. "it's been a while, so i'm a little rusty."
"you sounded good," you said, smiling as you went to the kitchen to wash your hands. you looked at the tv, on but muted, and read the lower third on the news report - something about the body of a murder suspect waiting for trial being found. you squinted at it. "what's that?"
jeonghan glanced at the screen. "that guy," he said, looking back at you. "the one that killed that kid in gangnam. he was found dead in his apartment."
your brow ruffled, remembering the case - he had been from an affluent enough family to pay bail, and it seemed like he was going to get charged for manslaughter instead of murder, despite the general public believing otherwise. "suicide?"
he cocked his head at the tv. "not sure."
you sighed, deciding to maintain your appetite by changing the subject. you had just spent the last four hours studying your criminal pathology practice test, you didn't need it to be your focus at home, too. "have you eaten?"
he shook his head as he followed. "i was waiting to eat with you."
you hummed, opening up your fridge. "i'm craving kimchi stew. are you willing to wait for soondae?"
his eyes got big, and you giggled when he said of course. you set a large pot of water to boil on the back burner of your induction cooktop and your small earthware on the front, and jeonghan chatted with you, asking about your day as he watched you cook.
you had spent so long living alone, it had been an adjustment to have someone home with you every day. but these days, you barely remembered what it was like before jeonghan was in your life, leaning against your wall or sat at your kitchen counter as he made you laugh. 
you were quickly chopping green onions when you nicked the tip of your thumb, and you had barely pulled it to your face to check it before jeonghan's gentle grip was on your wrist, naturally spinning you until your back was to the counter, and you stared at him as he inspected the cut. this was normal at this point, his immediate appearance whenever you got little cuts or scratches, but your chest still fluttered when he was this close to you.
"dessert before breakfast?" he asked, his eyes meeting yours as he pressed a gentle kiss on your knuckles. "you should really be more careful, you'll spoil me rotten."
you could only watch as he placed your thumb in his mouth, and you were overly conscious of the way his hands landed on the counter at your hips. you let your fingers rest on his cheek as you felt his tongue swipe against the cut, the familiar sting before his saliva healed it, and you were left studying his hooded eyes as you lifted your other hand to his face.
"jeonghan…"
your thumb pulled from his lips with a pop, and he licked them before saying, "yes, master?"
you swallowed. "would it be wrong for me to like you?"
jeonghan faltered for just a moment, wondering if it was better to let you believe that he was just drunk on your taste, your smell. if he would be able to admit to even himself that his heart beat for you the same way yours did for him. and while he wasn't sure he could, he leaned into you, watching your eyes flutter shut as he approached, and he paused only to say, "we would probably both be in the wrong."
then, his lips were on yours, and your hands skated to his nape as his found your hips, his cold body flush against your hot one. when he pulled back, leaving only for him to stare at your soft, warm lips, you chased after him, leaving gentle pecks against him, and his chest swelled in a way that almost hurt - unfamiliar, a feeling he wasn't even sure he was capable of the last time he had been this close to someone.
"you're too sweet," he muttered, practically panting and his eyes shutting as his forehead landed on yours, trying to control the urge to sink his teeth into you, to drink the color from your lips. "i might be addicted."
you studied him, your fingers combing against his scalp as he exhaled. "at least you have an excuse."
his eyes opened, and you thought you could see the slightest tinge of red at the top of his amber iris, but you were soon distracted when he kissed you again, gentler, sweeter. and when his lips slowly pulled from yours, he ran a hand up your back as he said, "i think this is different."
it snowed the next day, and you stared out the window as jeonghan slept in your bed instead of his usual place in your closet. you decided to stay home that day, too endeared by the way he curled up on your mattress to tell him you were headed back to the library, but you had taken a quick break from studying to watch the snow drift to the ground through a foot tall gap in the window covering, lost in thought over what he had meant by different.
**
you finally finished your finals. you had pulled an all nighter studying before grabbing a coffee and heading off to your last two exams at nine in the morning, promptly passing out as soon as you got home six hours later.
jeonghan woke up around eight, stretching as he stepped out of your floor to ceiling wardrobe, eyes immediately catching you in bed. he checked the clock, about to approach you so you didn't ruin your sleep schedule, but when he saw the way your cheek squished against your pillow, phone haphazardly thrown on the mattress beside you, he just chewed his cheek and pulled your duvet up to cover you better. you adjusted, letting out a little noise followed by a soft sigh, and jeonghan had to turn away and cover his face to avoid blurting out how cute you were.
he took his time selecting a book off your bookshelf, reading the synopsis and quickly nodding. he had always enjoyed reading - once as an escape, but now, it was a hobby he had picked up to fill the time while you were gone or asleep, and the books you had were much more enjoyable than anything he had gotten his hands on back in the day. he made his way back up the stairs and snuck his way into the empty space beside you on your bed, laying with his head on your spare pillow. his eyes were on you as he flipped open the book, the pages slipping from his thumb and slapping against each other louder than he intended, and he froze when you adjusted. but you just scooted closer to him, your fingers gently resting on his arm as you snuggled down into your duvet, and he, again, struggled to keep a straight face.
he read for a couple hours, and when you adjusted again, inhaling, he set the book aside and rolled over, asking you how you thought your exams went.
"i'm confident," you exhaled, rubbing your face. "i was worried about chemistry going in, but it was easier than i expected."
he grinned, his torso fully on top of yours. "i knew you had it in the bag."
you smiled, hands landing on his cheeks. "thanks."
"so," he said, fingers gently running across your jaw, and you adjusted to cock your head as you looked up at him. his gaze ran across your features, settling on your eyes as his lip caught between his teeth. "since you don't have anything going on tomorrow…"
"don't tell me you want a drink."
jeonghan scoffed, indignant, making you giggle. "i said i would wait!"
you cupped his cheeks with your hands, the laughter still on your lips. "you were making that face. the one you always make when you're hungry."
"i'm not hungry," he pouted, then looked to the side. "well, i am, but that's not what i was gonna ask."
that made you giggle again. "what is it, then?"
he stared at you a minute, then looked away again. "i thought we could go somewhere tonight. to celebrate."
"go somewhere?" you asked, a sideways smile on your lips. "are you asking me out?"
he sighed, annoyed, and rolled off you. "i'm gonna go eat."
you giggled, flipping off your covers and stretching before you followed him down your stairs. "i moved some pork blood from the freezer before i left this morning."
he glanced up at you, trying to hide his reaction. "that was nice of you."
"you're allowed to say thank you," you said, skipping down the steps and throwing your arms over his shoulders, letting your feet drag behind you as you clung to him. he barely faltered as he walked to the fridge, but his hands went to your arms to keep them in place as he did. despite looking thin (and fragile, though he would probably kill you if you said it out loud), his occult nature made him stronger than anyone you had met, allowing him to carry your weight without even exerting himself on many occasions, much to your surprise.
he exhaled as he opened the fridge, spotting the jelly-like blood. "if you're gonna do this, jump on. it's hard to balance when you're dead weight."
"rude," you said, standing upright and letting go of him. he watched you as you grabbed a ramen pot out of your cupboard to fill with water, and he tried not to smile when you muttered "you're the dead one."
after getting a dish and a spoon, he placed a kiss on your cheek as he walked by, headed to the table in your living room. "thanks for the meal."
you smiled after him as you tore open a packet of instant ramen. "eat well."
you did, too, slurping down your celebratory ramen as jeonghan ate the congealed red jelly across from you. he let his spoon linger in his mouth a second after he finished, watching you drink the broth. you exhaled happily, dropping your chopsticks into the pot and leaned back on your hands.
"where would you wanna go?"
his eyebrow quirked, and he dropped the spoon from his mouth. "where?"
"you said you wanted to go somewhere tonight," you said, grabbing the roll of tissue you left on the table to wipe your mouth clean. "where were you thinking?"
his fist landed gently on the table, the metal spoon in it making a soft clanking noise against the wood, and he rubbed his face with the other hand. "i had a couple ideas."
you waited for him to look back at you, his fingers twirling the spoon in his grasp. "go ahead," you prompted.
he studied you, then let a smile sneak across his lips. "aren't surprises more fun?"
you agreed, but after you had cleaned up your place, taken a shower, and gotten dressed - warm, as was his request - he dragged you to the roof of your building, and you faltered. "jeonghan, i tend to avoid rooftops-"
he held your hand, giving you his biggest puppy eyes. "trust me?"
you stuttered, trying to figure out how to explain that it had nothing to do with your trust in him and everything to do with your trust in yourself, and you yelped when he scooped you into his arms and stepped to the edge of the building.
"don't look down," he warned, and you could only stare at him in shock as two bat-like wings folded out from his back.
"wait wait-wait!" you squealed as he leaped off the building, and your arms wrapped around his neck as your eyes squeezed shut, legs curling into your chest with his arm securely under your knees. "jeonghan!"
he laughed, and you could feel the wind whipping past. "you're not scared of heights, are you?"
you pushed your face into his neck. "it's falling that scares me."
"i won't let you fall," he muttered into your ear, and you slowly pried your eyes open. "relax a little, you're harder to carry when you're tense.
you took a deep breath, focusing on him as you tried to loosen your muscles, and he gave you a quick smile. the air was cleaner up here, you realized - cold, but refreshing, and it almost felt like you had been trapped inside for days with how good it made you feel. "you didn't tell me you could fly."
"you didn't ask," he said, and you would have smacked him if you weren't so focused on keeping your grip around his neck. "the city's pretty from up here, if you think you can handle it."
"i'll keep my eyes on you, thanks."
when jeonghan finally landed, it was on an unoccupied terrace of a hotel, close to the coast. "we'll have to walk the rest of the way," he said, setting you down on your feet. "it's usually busy out there during the weekends."
your knees wobbled slightly, and you grabbed his arm as you breathed. "warn me next time."
"yes, master," he said, grinning at you as he pulled open the door to the elevators, gesturing for you to enter before him. 
by the time the two of you were on the street, you had fully gathered yourself, and jeonghan nudged you.
"you okay?"
you noticed his hand turning something over in his pocket, and you realized it had been over a week since you had asked him for a cigarette. you exhaled slowly, grabbing his elbow and pulling his hand from his pocket, where he abandoned your lighter. "yeah, i'm okay."
he laced his fingers with yours, still studying you. "sorry for scaring you."
you shook your head, smiling at him. "you don't scare me, jeonghan." 
"right," he said, squeezing your hand. "it's falling that scares you."
you thought for a second, tempted to correct him, say that it was actually yourself that scared you the most, but you looked up at the night sky as the two of you walked to the pier, and exhaled with a smile on your lips. "in that case, maybe you do scare me."
jeonghan didn't say anything, but he thought that if he had a fear of falling, the feeling of your warm hand in his would trigger that in him, too. he always hesitated to admit such things to you, because the first and last time he thought he might have been in love, his judgment had been clouded by other factors, some of the same factors that drew him to you. deep down, he knew it must have been real this time, but his only true fear was that this feeling he had for you would end in a worse tragedy than the one previous.
the ocean air felt healing, and you exhaled happily as the two of you leaned against the railing on the boardwalk. there was a moment of silence, and suddenly you yelled out to the ocean.
jeonghan jumped, laughing at your meaningless wail, and looked around briefly at the attention you had garnered. "what was that for?"
you giggled, looking at him. "i've been too stressed lately. this felt like the right place to let it out."
he rolled his eyes. "have you always been like this?"
"unfortunately," you said, sighing, and you turned your head slightly when you heard someone talking about jeonghan. you didn't look, but they said something about that handsome guy, asking their friend do you think they're a couple? only to get a response of no way, he's too good looking.
you pursed your lips, scooting slightly closer to where his arms were crossed over the railing, and he let out another laugh. "wanna show off that i'm yours?"
you looked the opposite direction. "no."
"aw, master's so cute," he cooed, wrapping his arms around you and smooching your cheek. "don't listen to them, they're just jealous of how delicious you look."
of course he had heard them, too, and you tried to hide the heat on your face at the realization that you had been caught acting jealous, when you weren't even in a relationship. sure, he took care of you, but he did that because you were his master, and offering his hand or arm for you to hold felt more like an excuse to keep you from wandering off than anything else. even the kiss you had shared, and the few times he pressed his lips against your cheek… you weren't sure of his intentions. if he was just obsessed with your blood - his most frequent compliments were that you smelled good and looked delicious - or if there was the possibility that he saw you the same way you saw him, with rose tinted glasses and a bokeh effect, fracturing lights into hearts in your vision every time you looked at him. were vampires even capable of such complex human emotions?
"stop thinking about me, unless you want me to lower your blood pressure for you."
you puffed out your cheeks and glared at him, making him laugh. you looked away, out to the ocean, as you grabbed his hands and pressed them to your face, trying to cool it. he held back another laugh, studying the way your cheeks were cupped in his cold hands, and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. you sighed, finally catching his gaze as you chewed your lip.
he smiled when he overheard another whisper. "they think i'm your boyfriend now."
a tiny smile snuck onto your face before you could catch it, and jeonghan grinned at you when you consciously changed your expression, pulling from his grasp to put your arms on the railing, staring out at the ocean again. "you aren't."
"but everyone thinks i am," he said, an arm casually draping over your shoulder as he stood beside you. "even your brother."
"foster brother," you corrected, and looked down at the surface of the water. it was far, and though it wasn't deep just below you, it went all the way out to sea. you knew china was on the other side of this particular body of water, but if you swam far enough, you would end up in the pacific. you remembered how often that thought floated through your mind when you were younger. "i wish i could tell him the truth, but he doesn't believe in this kinda stuff."
jeonghan sucked on his cheek. "you didn't either, when i first spoke to you."
"i didn't believe in vampires," you agreed. "but he doesn't even believe my premonitions."
"your vibes," jeonghan nodded. you let out a short laugh, and he smiled at your profile, eyes following your gaze to the water. "why are you lost in thought?"
you shook your head, taking a breath and moving your eyes to the horizon. "i used to come here a lot in high school. fantasize about swimming out to sea and never coming back."
he took your hand in his, pulling it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "you had a hard time, i'm sorry."
you usually minimized how much you struggled when you were young, played it off, pretended you were okay, even when you lost your parents. the flood of those memories brought on by your night made your eyes well slightly, and you thought you wouldn't be able to hide it from jeonghan even if you tried. "i did."
he studied you, placing another kiss on the back of your hand. "do you want to talk about it?"
you inhaled, looking around the boardwalk and spotting a bench in a mostly unoccupied area. you looked at jeonghan, nodding your head towards it. "shall we sit?"
Tumblr media
primary school was hard for you. you were too young to understand that people ostracized those who were different. that many parents passed on the learned behavior of judgment and shame onto their children, and the smarter they were, the faster they caught on. your mother had always had dreams she couldn't explain, visions of things before they happened, and oftentimes, it allowed your parents to steer your family towards fortune. she told you that your differences were what made you beautiful, and you had believed her. but when you told a girl at school that she should stop chasing after a boy, having a bad feeling about what would happen when she confessed, she accused you of having a crush on him, too.
"n-no," you said, backing up slightly. "i j-just don't want you t-to get hurt."
"a stutter, too?" she scoffed at you. "worry about yourself, you weirdo. he'll never like you back, leave it alone."
children were cruel. and when that boy you had a bad feeling about pushed her down into the mud, she blamed you. and so did her friends. and soon, so did the rest of your class, the opinion becoming fact, and the fact becoming legacy.
you were ten when that same girl was shoving you down onto the pavement after school, when you were just trying to walk home. you hissed, your knees bloodied from the fall, and her friend kicked you to your side, telling you to look at them when they spoke to you.
"look how pathetic, sooah," she laughed. "can't even make eye contact."
you swallowed, looking up after you managed to sit on the pavement, your hands behind you for support. "y-yes i c-can."
sooah laughed at you, kicking aside your bookbag and letting the contents spill over the pavement. "ugly and a stutter. no wonder your parents never show up to school fairs, they must be embarrassed by you."
"th-they-" you swallowed. "my dad, h-he travels-"
"whatever, stutter," sooah said. "tell whatever lies keep you alive, that way we can keep kicking you to the curb."
"hey!" you winced, shoulders curling at the new voice. "leave them alone!"
"let's get out of here," sooah said, grabbing the arm of one of her friends before stepping on your notebooks as they ran off.
"you fuckin punks! jesus christ. are you okay?"
you looked up at the hand extended in front of you, then at the boy it was connected to. he wore a middle school uniform, and you were stuck blinking up at him.
"are you deaf?" he asked, crouching in front of you.
you shook your head. "s-sorry-"
"those stupid girls are the ones that should be sorry," he said, starting to gather your things. you moved to grab your bag, holding it open as he brushed the dirt off your notebooks and deposited them into it. "are you okay?"
you sniffed, rubbing the tears off your face. "yeah."
"i'm changyoon," he said after he helped you to your feet as you told him your name. "don't you have anyone to walk home with? friends? siblings?"
you shook your head, kneading your hands together, and he looked around before sighing
"i'll walk you home," he decided, putting an arm over your shoulder. "i'll be your big brother, okay? tell me if anyone's bugging you, and i'll beat them up."
the bullying never stopped, but he made it easier to deal with, walking home with you most days. he wasn't able to protect you in class, though, and your bullies took note.
changyoon's family was kind to you, taking care of you when your parents were away for business. your father was professionally successful, and with his job, he often had to attend dinners and meetings late into the night. your mother would appear as his wife, of course, and she once asked if you had any friends that you could have a sleepover with while they went out.
"i-i have one," you said sheepishly, and when she pressed, you told her about changyoon.
"a boy?" she asked. "is he in your class?"
you shook your head. "he g-goes to the middle school n-nearby."
she studied you, thinking about all the times you had come home with bruises and scrapes, insisting that you had fallen on your own, even though both of you knew she knew the truth. that she saw those girls in her dreams the same way you did. "does he take good care of you?"
you nodded, and she put a kiss on the top of your head, asking if you knew his mother's phone number.
on nights where your parents were unsure of when they would come home, they sent you to the kim household with some folded cash, and you always dutifully told changyoon's mother that your parents said it was for the trouble. she would call your mother to let you know that you arrived, but send you up to changyoon's room without taking the money from you with a wink and a finger over her lips.
you hated feeling alone, so even when you were old enough to stay home when they had dinners, you usually asked changyoon if you could come over anyways. on one such night, while the two of you attended the same high school, you sat straight up in bed, trying to catch your breath, your face already stained with tears. you looked over the edge of changyoon's bed, crawling off it to where he was laying on the cot in the middle of his room, blankets haphazard around his sprawled body.
"changyoon!" you cried, shaking him awake, and he blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he registered your choked sobs. "c-changyoon, i-i think something happened…"
changyoon's mother held your hand at the funeral. a car crash - they got t-boned at an intersection by a drunk driver. your mother died on impact, but your father died in hospital, and he wasn't even able to speak to you before he passed. people you didn't know offered you their condolences - people your father worked with, surely, but you had never met - and you felt numb as you accepted them, waiting for the day to end so you could crawl into bed and let yourself cry until the sun rose again.
you were laying on changyoon's bed a week later with his dog asleep at your feet, officially moved into his home after you were left alone in yours, staring at the ceiling as he played some game on his computer. you chewed your cheek. "changyoon?"
he glanced over at you as he played. "yeah?"
you took a deep breath, eyes trained on the ceiling as tears welled in them. "do you think i'm cursed?"
he instantly moved from his computer, abandoning the game. "i don't believe in that stuff."
you looked at him as he approached, nudging your side with the back of his hand so you would scoot over to make room for him. "what do you mean?"
"curses, and whatever," he said, laying out next to you. "i don't believe that stuff. things just happen sometimes, and it's out of our control."
you thought about that a moment, and you figured that was one way to find comfort.
it took you a month or so to run out of patience. the outright bullying had turned to an abundance of whispers, always too close and too loud to be out of earshot. that you were an orphan, rumors about how your parents would run off regularly to avoid staying with you. hints that you were at fault. if they can see the future, why didn't they save their parents?
you left in the middle of class with the excuse that you needed to use the restroom, but walked in the opposite direction, headed to the stairs that led to the roof. the air was cold and refreshing, and you felt a kind of clarity for the first time since your parents had died, staring out over the edge of the building.
changyoon was heading back to his class from the bathroom with the hall pass spinning around his finger when he spotted you all the way down the hall, going up the stairs. his brow ruffled, catching the carved wood pass and looking around before deciding to follow you.
he was glad he did when he found you standing on the raised edge of the roof, instantly running towards you and yelling out your name.
you spun, face puffy from crying, and he grabbed your hand, pulling you off the ledge before you could fall back.
"i'm sorry," he said, catching you in his arms and hugging you close as you both shook with sobs. "i'm so sorry."
you choked, hands grasping the back of his uniform as you buried your face in his shoulder. "i'm so tired, changyoon. i can't do this anymore."
"i know," he cried, not letting go. "i'm sorry, i'm being selfish, but please," he tightened his hold. "please, even if you feel like you can't continue, please keep living for me."
Tumblr media
jeonghan's hand was clasped tight around yours, and you inhaled sharply, staring out at the water. "he made me promise. we don't break promises."
he watched you, almost shocked that the tears in your eyes hadn't fallen. "i'm glad you have him."
a small smile found your face, and you turned towards jeonghan. "me, too. he ended up introducing me to hyejin, and her and mingyu's families are neighbors. we all got pretty close." you sighed, thumb running over the back of jeonghan's hand. "then he had the idea to form the band after he made some more friends in college."
"what about you?"
you gave him a puzzled look. "what about me?"
"you made more friends?" he asked. "the other guys in your band, i know, but anyone else?"
you blinked. "not really," you admitted. "but i'm okay with that. they're practically my family," you said, smiling. "they make it easier. less lonely."
jeonghan looked down, eyes running over your hand in his. "i'm sorry about your parents."
you exhaled. "thank you."
"you only stayed with changyoon's family until you came of age," he remembered, and you looked to him, realizing he had recalled the information from one of your earliest conversations. "where did you go after that?"
"well," you started, looking out to the water again. "i got access to my inheritance, so i used a little for a deposit on an officetel, but i honestly didn't want to touch most of it." you swallowed, peeking at him. "then i decided to work for a while because i bombed my college entrance exam."
jeonghan stifled a laugh, and you let go of his hand to punch his thigh repeatedly. "sorr- ow! sorry!" 
you giggled. "have you even tried to go to uni?" you asked, accusatory. "it's hard!"
"i haven't," he said, laughing and taking your hand again. "i don't really have a way to apply even if i wanted to. no identity."
you stared at him. "i didn't think about that."
he sighed, a smile on his lips. "just a drifter. but i like it this way, not being on record. it's true freedom."
"that's an interesting perspective," you decided, then studied him. he gave your hand a squeeze and looked out to the ocean.
"i lost someone, too. back when i was human."
you swallowed. "i'm sorry."
he shook his head. "it's been so long, i've done my healing. but my love for her will never fade."
you looked down, chastising yourself for feeling some kind of jealousy over his statement. "it's kind of beautiful," you said, finally sorting out your feelings. "if you stay a vampire, someone will love her forever."
jeonghan leaned back on the bench, pulling his hand from yours and draping his arm over your shoulders instead. "my sister has been loved for almost four hundred years, now. i'm sure that was longer than she was expecting."
your eyes snapped to his. "sister?"
he had a vague smirk on his lips. "did you think it was someone else?"
"n-no," you said, embarrassed. "i'm sorry, i just didn't even know you had-"
"i'm teasing," he said, pulling you into his side. "yeah, i have a sister. she was smart. beautiful, too, just like my mother. even had her blonde hair."
"how-" you hesitated, before remembering all you had just shared with him. "how did she die?"
he studied you a second. "she was like you. different. sometimes when you tell me about your premonitions, it reminds me of things she would say." you watched him as he turned towards the ocean. "it was a time when witches were deemed evil. there were white men back then," he said, adjusting his posture. "traders from france and portugal. they had their own beliefs about witches, and their own ways of dealing with them." he paused. "they took her from me."
your hand went to your mouth. "jeonghan-"
"like i said," he looked at you. "i've done my healing. but back then, i struggled with it just as much as you did."
you remembered the dream you had suddenly, the weight of the injuries on his wrists when that man held him prisoner. "before that man turned you," you said quietly. "you said you were bleeding out."
he nodded. "people are cruel. i thought the pain would stop if i made it."
you looked down, your hands knitting in your lap, then placed one on his thigh. "it does eventually, though."
"it does," he agreed. he smiled at you when you met his gaze, studying his two toned eyes. "though it took me about three hundred years longer to learn that having friends makes it easier."
he insisted that you could take the subway home instead of the method he had used to bring you there, but you brushed him off. you had stayed out too late - by the time the two of you had even thought about heading home, it was long past midnight, and you told him flying would be faster. he studied you closely, hoping you weren't just saying so for his sake.
"i'll be fine," you said, hands on his chest, and he exhaled when you smiled at him. "i trust you."
the trip home was easier, and you enjoyed it, even - he had been right when he said the view was beautiful from above. the city was all twinkling lights and toy cars, bustling with life despite it being too late into the night. there was a christmas tree lit with strands of white lights in the park that the two of you often walked through together, and you had to blink yourself out of your daze when he landed on the roof of your building again.
your knees shook less when he let you down. "you're okay?"
you nodded, grinning at him. "i think i can get used to it."
when you were back in your apartment, outer layers shed and lights turned on, you flopped onto your couch, sighing happily. you felt refreshed by your trip to the ocean, from revealing your past to jeonghan - weight had been lifted from your shoulders, and you felt lighter than ever when a smile snuck onto your lips. "i don't have school anymore."
jeonghan smiled at you from where he was hanging your coats, shutting the closet door before walking towards you. "how's it feel?"
"amazing," you said, sitting up and holding out your arms, gesturing for him to join you. "how about you? you excited for my graduation?"
"of course i am," he said, placing his hands in yours, and you let out a surprised noise when he pulled you to your feet. "only a month away from sinking my teeth into that pretty neck of yours."
you giggled when his hand went to the back of your head, and you instinctively tipped your head back as he put his lips on your throat, his teeth gently nibbling at the vein on the side of your neck. you breathed out. "that tickles."
he hummed against you, his hand flat against your spine to hold you close. "i hope it only tickles when i bite you for real, too."
you pulled back slightly, but his hold on you landed your forehead on his, and you stared at him a moment. "jeonghan, i'm curious…"
his eyes skated over your face. "yes, master?"
you hesitated. "do you think i'd be okay if-" you bit your lip. "if you had a little today?"
jeonghan stared at you, and he thought it was your heart thumping against his chest before he realized it was his own. "don't tease me."
"i'm not," you said quietly. "i don't have any plans til practice next week, and i'm curious if it…" you paused, glancing at his lips. "if it will actually tickle."
"it won't," he warned, immediately exposing his flirtatious lie. "it'll hurt."
your eyes met his, and he wondered if this is how you had felt all those times he made your heart beat fast, made your blood rush to your face. "sometimes pain tickles a little."
he couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips against your forehead gently. "are you sure?"
your hands went to his face, cupping his cheeks, and you nodded. "i promise."
he hoisted you up onto his hips, and you yelped into a giggle as your legs settled around him. you ran your hands through his hair, grinning at him, and he nearly tripped on the first stair with the distraction of your fingers threading against his scalp, but managed to make it into your lofted bedroom without too much trouble. when he kneeled in front of your bed, gingerly seating you on it, he took your hand in his and placed a kiss on your knuckles before he looked up at you. "you can change your mind."
you shook your head at him. "i'm ready."
jeonghan bowed his head, then rose to place a knee between yours, his hand finding your nape as you stared up at him. "thank you for the meal."
you smiled gently and tipped your head as he laid you back onto your bed, his lips placing kisses down your neck before he settled in one spot. your hands ran up his back, one clenching at his shirt when he tentatively placed his fangs at your pulse - the same gentle nibble he had done before - and you put the other in his hair as silent reassurance before he sank his teeth into you.
he was right - it did hurt, but only a small, sharp pain of him breaking skin before he began to draw blood. you stopped yourself from gasping by biting your lip, your fingers digging into his scalp at the almost numbing sensation, and jeonghan was grateful he had fed himself already after his first gulp. your sweet taste on his tongue, your warm blood running down his throat, he was forced to pause before continuing, your plasma pooling on his tongue, his eyes fluttering open to catch the way you craned your neck for him. he ran his hand under your spine, pulling you up off the mattress to let your head fall back naturally before he drank again, three more gulps, but stopped himself short when he felt your heartbeat quicken, your grip on his shirt loosen slightly, worried he would take too much. he was hyper aware of your hold on his head, your scent, your taste, and he knew he could lose himself to you too easily.
he knew what it felt like to lose himself. and he wasn't going to let you reap those consequences.
you felt his tongue lap against the puncture wounds, and you muttered his name. he placed you gently back on your mattress as he pulled away, hovering over you, and you stared up at him a moment. his lips were stained red, and his tongue darted out to clean them. your hand went to his cheek. "thank you for finding me."
he put his hand over yours. "you found me," he corrected, and you noticed more red in his amber iris as you studied him.
"i like you, jeonghan," you said, and you saw his eyes dart between yours before he gave you a wide smile and plopped down next to you on the mattress.
"i like you, too, master!" he said giddily, rubbing his cheek on your shoulder as he hugged you, and you suddenly felt lightheaded from the blood loss. "you're so delicious!"
your hand went to the thigh that was hooked over your leg, the only part of him you could comfortably reach with the arm he was snuggling. "stop squirming, i'm dizzy-"
he kissed you on the cheek and rolled onto his back. "i feel like i could take on the world."
you turned your head, the motion making you aware of the soreness in your neck, but you couldn't help the giggle that fell out of you when you noticed him practically glowing with glee. "you're drunk."
he grinned at you. "because you're so sweet. oh-" he leaned over again, holding your jaw forward to inspect your cheek. "you have a kiss mark."
"are you gonna clean it?" you asked, and his lip caught in his teeth as he wiped away the blood stain with his thumb, sticking it in his mouth. you winced, hand landing on your forehead. "can you get me-"
jeonghan leaped up before you could finish the thought, giving you an on it as he ran down the stairs. you found yourself laughing again, his earnesty putting a smile on your lips, but you wondered if he understood the earnesty behind your confession, as well.
"okay," he said, returning too quickly for anyone else to have completed the task. "water and buttercream bread."
he placed the little tray of goodies on the bed beside you as he pulled you to sit up, and your hand went to your neck as you winced, one eye closed and your mouth gaping. "ow."
he pouted at you, kneeling before you again. "i'm sorry."
"no, it's okay," you assured, slowly stretching your neck. "just sore."
"it looks like it'll bruise," he said, running his fingers over the bite mark - sealed, but still visible, and the reddened skin around it where he had sucked.
you exhaled at his touch, unsure if your mind was swirling from his gentleness or from the low blood pressure. "i'll be fine," you said, taking the glass of water he had brought for you and sipping at it. "thank you."
he sat fully on the floor, wrapping his arms around your calf and placing his chin on your knee as he smiled up at you, and you imagined him with a wagging tail again, begging for your attention. "anything for my master."
Tumblr media
you stirred when you heard knocking on your door, and jeonghan sat up before you managed to make your brain work. you felt groggy, almost like you were hungover, and your eyes found jeonghan's as he listened intently.
"i can't tell who it is," he said, leaning over you and placing a kiss on your forehead. "should i go answer it?"
you blinked, looking around, realizing it was light in the room. "i left the blinds open," you said sleepily, gesturing for him to help you up. "i'll get it."
he watched you slowly go down the stairs, mumbling when the knocking repeated, and he got out of bed to lean over the railing as you stumbled across your living room, listening closely when you disappeared below him to get the door.
you swung the door open, squinting and rubbing your face. "changyoon?"
he stared at you, then laughed out loud. "party too hard?"
you just turned around, leaving the door open for him as you walked back into your apartment, flopping onto your couch.
"why haven't you been answering your phone?" he asked, flipping off his shoes and following you. "we've been trying to contact you all day."
you blinked at him. "i stayed out late last night."
"yeah, i can tell," he said, his hands in his pockets as he gave you a sideways smile. he looked back at the door, trying to remember if he saw another pair of shoes. "gnarly hickey, by the way. is jeonghan around?"
your hand slapped over your neck, and you winced slightly at the soreness before you sat up straight. your eyes went up to the loft, where jeonghan was peeking out over the railing, but ducked behind it when changyoon turned to look himself.
he laughed, looking back at you. "got it. hope you have concealer, i booked a gig for tonight, i'm here to take you to last minute practice."
"tonight?" you whined, falling back into the cushioned seat. "i thought we weren't playing til next weekend."
"wonpil got us a last minute spot as an opening act for some punk band," he said, kicking your foot where it hung off the arm of your couch. "his friend knows the manager, and their last act fell through."
you groaned. "can't you play for me?"
"c'mon, hex," he said, grabbing your ankle and swinging it around, making you groan again. "this is a good opportunity, and they aren't a band without you. drink some water and get ready, we can get you a morning recovery shot on the way."
you huffed, rubbing your face again. "god, i was really hoping to sleep all day."
"you basically did," changyoon said, glancing at his phone. "it's already four, you go on stage at 9:30." you whined again, kicking your feet around. "you can bring jeonghan," he said, a lilt in his voice as he tried to convince you, and you dragged your hands off your face to glare at him.
you exhaled, standing finally, and headed to your stairs. "you're the worst."
"only for you," he said, grinning after you as he plopped down on your sofa, pulling out his phone to let the others know that he had awoken you from the dead.
jeonghan watched you from where he hid behind the loft railing, and you exhaled a laugh at the way he was squatting to stay out of sight. "i'm sorry," he said quietly, crawling over your bed as you headed to your closet. "i shouldn't have-"
"shush," you sighed, smiling at him. "i offered. and i'm only a little sore, i can play a half hour set."
"i can hear you guys," changyoon announced from your couch.
"then shut your ears," you yelled back, pushing aside clothes in your wardrobe. you looked around, searching for a turtleneck as jeonghan approached you from behind. "would you wanna come?"
he was in the middle of wrapping his arms around your waist when he paused. "i don't wanna intrude."
"i'm inviting you," you said, finding the turtleneck you had been looking for and putting the hanger on the knob of the wardrobe and looking for a punk rock enough tee to layer over it. "but you can say no."
he pressed his lips to your shoulder, thinking about how he had only heard you practice bass at home, without the accompaniment of your band. "it would be nice to keep an eye on you as you recover," he said, as though that were the only reason he would tag along.
you threw a pair of distressed black jeans onto your bed, along with the shirts you had picked out. "yoonie, did you drive the van?" you yelled out, then looked at jeonghan when you didn't get a response. you put your hands on the railing and glared at the man on your couch. "changyoon."
he looked up. "sorry, my ears were shut."
you rolled your eyes, pushing away from the rail as you started to get changed. "the van?"
"yup," he said, still on his phone. "wonpil and mingyu are already at jihoon's, but we gotta pick up hyejin at the nail salon."
you stripped off the shirt you had worn to sleep, flicking out the turtleneck before pulling it over your arms and looking up at jeonghan, his eyes immediately going to the ceiling. you pursed your lips to hold back a laugh. "the van has tinted windows," you told him, pulling the shirt over your head and adjusting the collar, looking in the mirror next to your wardrobe to make sure it covered the bruise on your neck - though going on stage with a hickey would probably be on brand for a punk show. "we can bring an umbrella, too."
jeonghan sat on your bed, fiddling with the hem of the fuzzy pajama pants he wore, looking at your phone. "sun sets in an hour anyways," he said, looking up at you. "i guess i'll change, too."
you nodded at him, then inspected your face in the mirror, rubbing it again. "ugh, i should wash up. see you downstairs?"
he let out a noise of agreement, but before you could grab the rest of your clothes and trot downstairs, he grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him. you looked at him with wide eyes as he studied your neck, where he knew his bite mark was just beyond the fabric of your shirt. you swallowed and he blinked, refocusing on your eyes, and his lips quirked into a sideways smile before he pressed them against yours. "see you downstairs."
changyoon said nothing as you avoided his gaze, rushing to your bathroom, but he silently wondered how serious the two of you had gotten for jeonghan to be staying the night often enough to have clothes in your closet, and why you hadn't told him anything about your boyfriend.
"oh, jeonghan-ah!" hyejin laughed, climbing into the front passenger seat of the van, looking back at the two of you. "you're coming to the show?"
jeonghan looked confused at the casual address before he remembered they were supposed to be the same age, and adjusted his expression accordingly. "yeah, can't wait to hear you guys play."
hyejin grinned, nudging changyoon. "told you they were serious. when has hex ever brought a boy around?"
changyoon looked at her as he pulled away from the curb. "when has hex ever had a boy to bring around?"
"alright," you said, annoyed. "we don't have to discuss my love life right now, do we?"
"i'm curious," jeonghan said, giving you a teasing smile. "no boyfriends before me?"
"oh!" hyejin laughed again. "boyfriend! straight from the source!"
"you guys act like i'm some kind of prude," you huffed, folding your arms over your chest and leaning back in your seat. "it's not like i've never dated."
changyoon looked at you in the mirror. "you sure about that?"
"just because i didn't tell you, doesn't mean it didn't happen," you said pointedly, then leaned forward to poke hyejin's shoulder. "right?"
she agreed, her lips pouting out, and changyoon looked at her in shock. "what? are you two keeping secrets from me?"
"you're the annoyingly protective older brother," hyejin said, smacking his arm. "i'm the cool older sister. i'm the one they can talk to about boys."
"i'm not annoying," changyoon argued, making the face he always did when hyejin teased him, and you pursed your lips in the back seat to avoid laughing. they were continuing their bickering when you felt a touch on your thigh, and you looked down to find jeonghan walking two fingers across your lap, glancing up at him as he looked out the window, and you let out a stifled giggle when he laid his hand over your thigh, palm up, expectantly. you laced your fingers with his, and he couldn't help his smile after he adjusted in his seat to roll his head towards you, finding you with your tongue out at him playfully. he wondered, briefly, why it had taken him so long to find someone that made him smile like you did.
Tumblr media
"drinks on me!" wonpil announced, holding his keyboard over his head after you had all run off stage, the lights dimming to prepare for the main act. you pulled your strap over your head, breathing heavy and grinning up at mingyu.
"dude, you killed it!" you shoved his arm, and he laughed pulling off his guitar. "i'm so glad we played the girl from jupiter, your solo in that song fucks so hard."
mingyu rolled his eyes, then looked behind him as someone had to scoot by, making him step closer to you in the narrow wing of the stage. he looked at you, then immediately redirected his gaze, swallowing. "if you came to practice, you'd get to hear it more often."
you pouted, walking off towards where there was more space, finding your case to put away your guitar. "sorry, i've been insanely busy lately." you crouched down to feel around for the zipper. "i'm finally done with school, so i'll be better now."
"congrats, by the way," he said, tapping your shoe with his. "you forensic expert, you. what now, you gonna be a detective?"
you sighed, standing as you zipped your case closed. "well, i gotta start applying."
"hey!" you both looked over to changyoon. "hurry up and throw your shit in the van so we can get drunk."
mingyu laughed and rolled his eyes, and you ran up behind jihoon, throwing your arm over his shoulder as you all exited the stage doors to the alley you were parked in. he had to use the main act's kit to save stage change time, leaving him to carry wonpil's keyboard stand, and you all stood around the trunk as changyoon arranged the instruments in the way he had decided was most efficient. you were laughing with jihoon as he tried to catch his breath, rubbing his sweaty face with his shirt when you heard a familiar voice call for his sweet thing.
you spun, grinning as you practically skipped towards him. "hey!"
jeonghan smiled at you, putting his sunglasses on the crown of his head and catching you in his arms. "you didn't tell me you guys were good!"
your eyes were big when you pulled away, and he shrugged off his leather jacket to drape over your shoulders, leaving him in the hoodie he had worn to protect himself from the sun, though it was long gone by now. "really? you think so?"
"of course he thinks so," hyejin said, winking at jeonghan and poking at your back. you spun towards her. "i saw him in the crowd. he couldn't take his eyes off you, looking all dopey."
you looked back at jeonghan, whose eyes were pointed at the sky, and you chewed your lip to stop yourself from giggling. "you should come to more of our shows, if you think we're so good."
"maybe i will," he said, pouting, but when his eyes landed on your face, he couldn't stop his smile. "do you get to hang out now?"
"hell yeah, we do," wonpil said, slapping your back as he headed back to the door, making you laugh. "i'm gonna go open a tab at the bar, come find me when you get back in." he pointed at jeonghan. "you, too, mr. hex."
he laughed, waving his hand. "i don't drink," he said, but wonpil had already moved on to try and convince jihoon to have at least one shot with him, to celebrate a successful show.
"you don't drink?" changyoon asked, shutting the van, and you watched hyejin hook her arm with mingyu's, smiling after them as they headed back into the venue. "how long are you guys planning on staying?"
"we'll hang out for the rest of the show," you said, checking jeonghan's expression for confirmation. he nodded, and you looked back at changyoon. "band bonding."
changyoon laughed, pushing his knuckle into your cheek. "good deal. jeonghan, do you drive?"
"uh," he looked at the van, and you hissed out changyoon's name in annoyance. "i can?"
"band bonding," changyoon grinned, depositing the van keys in his hand. "get us all home safe and you can date my kid."
you groaned, about to argue when jeonghan just pulled you into his side by your waist.
"consider it done," he said, and you blinked at him as changyoon grinned, gesturing for you to follow him back into the venue. it was loud and dark inside, and in the time it had taken you to load your things back into the van, the main act had made their way on stage, leaving the bar mostly clear as everyone swarmed to the pit. spotting the rest of your bandmates was easy, crowded in one space at the bar, and jihoon was talking about some article on his phone.
"another one?" wonpil asked, tugging the screen to face him. "isn't that the third one this week?"
changyoon peeked over a shoulder, looking. "good, they're cleaning up the streets."
"what are they talking about," you asked mingyu, and he tapped his palm against the bar.
"another body was found this morning, and they just released his identity. turns out he was a serial rapist."
you looked at jeonghan, remembering that news report you had seen with him a while back. "do you know the cause of death?" you asked, looking at jihoon.
"uh," he stalled, eyes scanning the article. "the throat was slit? seems to be," he quoted. "unconfirmed injury causing blood loss."
hyejin shivered visibly. "aren't we supposed to be celebrating?" she asked, looking around. "can we stop talking about dead creeps?"
"yeah," wonpil said, slamming jihoon's phone on the bar, making the drummer let out an annoyed noise. "shots all around. what's everyone getting?"
hyejin looked at you, her freshly manicured hand grabbing your arm. "take tequila with me?"
you blinked. "sure?"
"great," she grinned. "what about you, jeonghan?"
"he's dd," changyoon said, then pointed at jihoon. "which means you have no excuse."
"what?" jihoon looked around, wonpil already cheering in his face. "i'm always dd!"
changyoon grinned, landing a hand on his shoulder. "it's a haze, bud. he wants to date hex, so he has to pass the test."
jeonghan held up the keys for everyone to see, his lips pursed, and hyejin and wonpil cheered again as he slipped them into his jeans pocket, jihoon leaning over the bar heavily. hyejin ordered the tequila, making mingyu take one too, while the other guys ordered something less insane, in wonpil's words, then a round of beers for everyone. jeonghan stood beside you, leaning against the bar as hyejin excitedly watched the bartender prepare the salt rims for you.
"how much are you planning on drinking?" he asked, lips by your ear to keep it between the two of you. "i'm a little worried."
"why," you started, bringing his hand up to your neck. "because of this?"
he smiled, his thumb running over your jaw as his hand rested against your clothed neck, still sensitive to touch. "yeah, because of that."
"i'll just have the one shot," you assured, fiddling with the strings of his sweatshirt and tipping your head to the side. "then i'll nurse the beer til we leave."
"you might get drunk faster," he warned, glancing at where your shots were being poured. "if you need me to find you food, let me know. i'll keep an eye on you."
you chewed your cheek, hiding a smile as you turned back towards your friends. "yessir."
his hand went to your back, under his jacket that hung over your shoulders, and you exhaled heavily when hyejin doled out the shots, pushing the plate of limes towards you after mingyu grabbed his.
"ready?" she asked, looking around. "changyoon?"
"alright, gang," he said, speaking up over the music playing on stage. "thank you to wonpil for this opportunity-" he nodded, raising his shot in acknowledgement. "-thank you jihoon, for being the best songwriting companion a man could ask for-"
"our jihoonie!" you shouted out, slamming your hand on the bar repeatedly as a replacement for applause, mingyu howling with you. 
"and welcome mr. jeonghan, let's hope you stick around. it'll be nice to get jihoon drunk more often."
you couldn't help but laugh at the toast, and hyejin let out an extended yaaaay, clapping and giving jeonghan a double thumbs up before picking her shot up.
"to the band. i'm proud to manage such a cool act. let's blow this year up!" changyoon shouted, grinning, holding his shot out, and everyone happily pushed their glasses against his and cheered. 
jeonghan watched, a sideways smile on his face as the six of you drank together, mingyu, hyejin, and yourself having to lick your rims before knocking back the alcohol. you made a face, squinting as you shoved the lime wedge into your mouth, biting into it, and jeonghan couldn't help but laugh at your reaction.
"blech." you smacked your lips, dropping your spent wedge back onto the plate as hyejin laughed at mingyu's similar reaction. "how do you drink this stuff?"
"tequila's fun!" she grinned, then looked at jeonghan. "it'll be fun for you, too, if they keep taking them. thank me later."
his eyebrows raised, looking at you. "is that so?"
"speaking of," changyoon said, stacking his shot glass onto wonpil's before grabbing his beer and pushing off the bar. he pointed at jeonghan. "you, come with me. we need to chat."
"changyoon," you warned, pushing your shot glass towards the bartender, but jeonghan just grinned and pulled his hand from your back. you looked at him.
"you'll be okay without me for a second?" he asked, running a thumb over your brow to check your eyes. you stared at him, then nodded, and he smiled, gently pulling you in to place a kiss on your lips. "i'll be right back."
you watched them walk off together, claiming a standing table in the dark lounge area of the venue, and put your beer against your cheek to cool it. hyejin nudged you.
"you two are super cute," she said, giggling. "right, gyu?"
he sighed heavily. "even i can't deny it," he said, giving you a small smile. "you seem happy."
you looked between them a moment, putting your beer back down on the bar. "i guess i am happy," you said, a smile sneaking across your lips, lost in the fantasy of being half of a cute couple. "thanks."
jihoon grabbed mingyu's attention for some argument, and you giggled as you watched wonpil fight with both of them in the way only friends could, sipping gently at your beer.
"excuse me?"
you spun towards the voice, finding a woman smiling at you. her beauty distracted you from the chill on your arms - foreign, with a head of curly red hair, and you thought she could be a model with her petite figure. you blinked, confused by the flicker of worry in your mind when you met her bright eyes. "yes?"
"you guys rocked," she said, glancing at hyejin behind you before focusing on you again. "i've been trying to learn bass, and you looked so cool up there!"
you were taken aback slightly, but a smile snuck onto your lips. "thank you so much," you said, laughing lightly, your immediate reaction being to promote the band. "do you live around here? we're gonna be doing a bunch of shows in the new year."
her eyes lit up, and you realized your uneasy feeling had been recognition, her amber eyes sparkling at you. "i just moved, actually! i'd love to see you guys again!"
you faltered, unsure if you should give her more information, and you suddenly had the thought that she might have waited until jeonghan had left to approach you. she seemed harmless, but so did he, most of the time, and you hesitated to give her an ability to find you again. she looked behind you briefly and then grabbed your arm.
"hey, i'll catch you another time," she said quietly, then winked. "promise." she flashed a sharp smile before disappearing into the crowd, and you stared after her, leaning your back against the bar, trying to decide if you were just a magnet for vampires.
"holy shit, she was gorgeous," hyejin whistled, sipping her beer and looking at you. "do you think she was flirting?"
"i-" you paused, looking at your friend. "i can never tell with her type."
she giggled. "her type? what does that mean?"
you didn't explain it further, letting hyejin get distracted when mingyu took out his phone to take pictures and pulled her off to where the lighting was better, but you just sipped your beer and wondered if she, too, was looking to become human again. jeonghan walked in front of you, catching your attention, and he smiled at you.
"miss me?"
you smirked at him. "barely noticed your absence."
"ouch," he said, putting a hand over his heart, then planted an elbow on the bar, leaning against it and staring at your profile. "you okay?"
you pouted out your lips, thinking, then smiled at him, deciding it was a conversation for later. "yeah. how about you? changyoon wasn't too mean, right?"
"just the right amount of mean," jeonghan said, then sighed, adjusting the jacket on your shoulder where it was slipping off. "wanted to make sure we were using protection. i told him we haven't gotten there yet, but i didn't have the heart to tell him i shoot blanks anyways."
you sputtered out a laugh, hand planting over your mouth to quiet it. you looked at him, dropping your hand to say, "i'm so sorry."
jeonghan laughed, too. "nah, it's fine. it was kinda refreshing, i could tell he really cares about you." he tipped his head to one side. "i knew he did, from what you've told me, but it was nice to see it myself."
you bit at your lip to hide a smile. "he's a good guy."
"he is," jeonghan agreed, then exhaled dramatically. "weird that someone over three hundred years younger than me told me to call him hyung, though."
you almost snorted. "in his defense, he thinks you're hyejin's age."
"and who's fault is that?" he said, furrowing his brows at you, smiling when you giggled and hit your hand against his chest. "ah, he also threatened to kill me if i did anything to hurt you."
your eyes widened as you looked away. "that's my brother."
"foster brother," he corrected, and your eyes snapped to his at the parrot of your words the night before - less than 24 hours before, you realized, and you smiled. he smiled back. "he plays your brother well. i hope i can play your boyfriend well, too."
you glanced at the collar around his neck before you looked away, taking a sip of your beer and swallowing it harshly, reminding yourself that he wasn't with you for fun. that you had a contract. "just playing, huh?"
"hey," jeonghan put a hand on your chin, turning you back towards him. you swallowed, his eyes darting between yours before flicking down to your lips, and you felt your breath hitch. "only as long as that's what you want, master."
you stared at him. "what if i want more?" you asked, putting down your beer as you turned towards him. "what if playing isn't enough for me anymore? what if i want you to see me as more than your master?"
he adjusted, his hand running back over the sore spot on your neck, and you let your head tip to the side when it landed at your nape. "are you sure?"
"why wouldn't i be sure?" you asked, huffing lightly, and his eyes flicked to your beer on the bar. you rolled your eyes, pushing his hand away when you realized what he meant, trying to not show how hurt you felt. maybe he was right. maybe you were tipsy, and maybe you said more than you would normally, but that didn't change the truth behind your words. "whatever. nevermind."
"master," jeonghan exhaled, recognizing his mistake immediately. "i'm sorry, i didn't-"
"it's fine," you said, turning away from him, knowing the beer would taste bitter now and choosing to leave it on the counter. you thought of the night before, when you had admitted your feelings for him, and how he had completely brushed you off. you almost felt like crying, but glanced over at your friends to make sure they were properly distracted and exhaled instead. "you only want me for one thing, anyways."
"that's not-" he hesitated, his eyes shutting briefly. four hundred years of tricks and schemes, and somehow he had managed to play himself. "that's not true."
"isn't it?" you asked, looking at him. "you look delicious. you smell good. i get it, jeonghan. you're a vampire trying to become human, and i'm a witch that can help you. we can't be anything more than that, but i just wish you had thought about my feelings before you made me fall in love with you."
jeonghan pulled you towards him, his brows furrowed when he studied you, your face between his palms. "you're wrong."
you stared at him. "about what, exactly?"
"i thought about your feelings every day, and we can be more, but i've been scared of the danger that might put you in." he paused, his fingers buried against your scalp, wondering if it was your blood in his veins that made his heart beat so fast, or if it was just the way your hands ran up his chest. "and how dare you not notice that you made me fall in love with you first."
your eyes softened, flicking between his. "don't tease me."
"i'm not," he assured you, and when his lips found yours, your heart soared, his mouth kneading against yours in a way that made you melt onto his chest. he adjusted, moving so your back was against the bar again, and his palm landed on the edge just beside you, your hands running up his chest to grip at the neck of his hoodie. it felt familiar, all too similar to when he kissed you in your kitchen, but new life sewn into his lips on yours with the confession of reciprocated feelings, and you thought the butterflies in your stomach could make you float away if he didn't hold you down.
"get a room!" wonpil yelled, and you broke away for just a second to spot the rest of your band further down the bar, changyoon pointedly looking in a different direction and jihoon laughing hysterically at his expression. you just grinned, looking back at jeonghan, and the way his eyes were hooded as he gazed at you, the sideways smile on his lips never leaving, you just slipped two fingers under the dog collar around his neck, pulling him into you again.
after jeonghan had driven your properly drunken bandmates home, ending the car ride at changyoon and wonpil's place, he carried your guitar case in one hand and held yours with the other as the two of you walked to your apartment, the same route you had taken the first night you had invited him into your home. it had always been a familiar walk for you, but jeonghan smiled as he looked around, enjoying that, instead of a healthy meter away from him, you were right by his side. he had even asked if you wanted a cigarette when you left changyoon's, remembering what you had said about drinking making you crave them, but you had shaken your head, tugging on the strings of his hoodie, saying you had a different way of satisfying your oral fixation now, and he could only grin before he was drawn into you.
"do you…" you paused, looking over to him as you walked hand in hand, and he gave you a questioning look. "do you know of any other vampires in korea?"
"of course," he said casually. "celebrities that died young, entrepreneurs, scientists… we live long, so a lot of my kind spent the last hundred years building empires. some of the richest people in the world are vampires, korea's no exception."
you blinked, registering that fact. "so how come i ended up with a broke bum?"
"hey," he laughed, and you giggled along with him. "i enjoy my life of freedom. why do you ask?"
"i think i met one tonight," you said, and his hand clenched in yours, making you look at him.
his brows furrowed. "you saw a vampire?"
you faltered. "y-yeah. she seemed nice, though. i thought maybe she could tell i was a witch."
jeonghan said your name, and you nearly jumped out of your skin - it almost sounded foreign coming from his lips, in his voice. he stopped walking, and you turned towards him. "if you ever see another vampire, find me immediately."
you flinched. "jeonghan, you're scaring me."
"good," he said, stepping closer. "other vampires aren't like me, master. they're bloodthirsty and cold, and they won't stop once they start." his eyes were dark, brows knit together, expression stern, and you got chills with his words. "if you bleed in front of them, they won't be able to resist you, and they'll suck you dry."
you blinked at him, studying his eyes. you remembered the last time you had studied them on this street - one blood red and the other amber - but now, his amber eye had red bleeding into it, and you thought of how that had differed from the vampire you had seen tonight. you thought about how he had said his mother had red eyes, just like him. "you were part human when i met you, weren't you?"
he looked away, exhaling. "why do you have to be so into mysteries?" he asked. "it's impossible to keep things over your head."
"does that mean-" you paused, swallowing, unsure if you wanted the answer. "was there another-"
"yeah," he said succinctly. and your eyes met his before he spoke again. "there was another witch before you, but she's dead. i killed her."
Tumblr media
393 notes · View notes
ticklish-touch · 5 months
Note
I mean absolutely no offense by this, I'm just curious, you seem to really like clowns. What is the appeal of them for you? A lot of people these days are afraid of clowns so it's different to see someone with a lot of clown oc's. Again, just curious!
No offense taken!
I actually have a post going into detail about it:
But to reiterate:
-I love their designs & aesthetic. I've never found them truly scary. I love bright colors and loud designs! And they can have such pretty, elaborate outfits.
-I love goofy, unhinged personalities. Absolute agents of chaos that just want to have fun, and challenge societal expectations.
-My gremlin self that enjoys scaring people does get a kick out of seeing them unnerve people. To an extent anyways. I genuinely feel bad if they look at my babies and go "Ugh gross creepy clowns ew" (though Roscoe would to some degree take it as a compliment, lmao)
-There's a lot of the Evil Killer Clown stereotype that I dislike. Mostly design-wise. I still love crazy kooks like Jevil, Kefka, Spinel, the original Pennywise, etc. I just don't like the ugly wrinkly-ballsack faces that killer clowns typically have, lmao. I do like the scarier aesthetic around Halloween time because I'm an adrenaline junkie with a fear kink, unnerving gives me the heebie-jeebies in the best way 👍
-All of this combined makes for very strong Ler potential. Big unhinged goofs that just want to make people laugh :3c
16 notes · View notes
goodburger1997 · 4 months
Text
JIMMY'S ART SUMMARY OF 2023
2023 absolutely was the year of the Jimmy. We had an art renaissance, start of TCBA, freakification, and i think i found inner peace! Wowie! Anyways you dont care about that you're here for the ART SUMMARY!!!!!!
JANUARY:
Tumblr media
Yeah this was all I could find XDDDD January was a slow month, and my Papa Louie hyperfixation was eating me alive XDDD
FEBURARY:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
another rpetty slow month, but also during ym PVZ hyperfixation XD who remembers that?
MARCH:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A lot happened in March, namely my 17th birthday, the strat of my freak transformation, and of course I got kicked out of my dad's house and was homeless for a while until i moved to New York on April 2nd. But most importantly, its when I finally decided to get up and make TCBA a real webcomic. Wow!
APRIL:
Tumblr media
This is when most of TCBA production started! Unfortunately it means I dont have many drawings from this era except for ref sheets and this! This was also when I developed my Weezer autism :3
MAY:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ah, May. This was the month that I realized I was a babyfur, and furthermore got my 4Lung spinterest! this was also the release date of the first act of the first chapter of TCBA, May 17th!
JUNE:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
A pretty slow month, I forgot what happened in June to be honest XD other than being at my cousins for a while.
JULY:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This was literally all I drew in July that I can find. Huh.
AUGUST:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This is when I REALLY started to experiment with my art! And also when my Andrew WK spinterest began! And also when school started. So. This was when the JUnkies became more of a family, and when Act 2 released and when act 3 started development!
SEPTEMBER:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Oh boy was this a month! I developed spinterests in Sparklecare, Preeny Has To Repeat 6th Grade, AND Molly's Future Mishaps! Hot damn!!!!! This is when i really REALLY started to experitment wiht my art, with pieces taking inspiration from some artists, and some where I just got silly with it!!!
OCTOBER:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Man, what even happened in October? I came out as transage, but unfortunately on Halloween an event happened [that I don't want to talk about] affected how i made my art for the rest of the year. I don't want to talk about it much more
NOVEMBER:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
November was the month of general not-fun-stuff. I don't like November.
DECEMBER:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
AND FINALLY WE REACHED DECEMBER!!!!!!! GOOOOOODBYE 2023 I WILL NOT MISS YOU ONE SINGLE BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok maybe i'll miss you a little bit, but honestly i have hopes for the new year!!!! I think things will be better then :3 Thank you to all my friends, and my quippies, and especially the junkies who all stuck with me through thick and thin throughout the year, my highs, lows, and even my extreme lows [Weird Al thirst era]. I love you all no matter what. Here's to better days and sweeter nights in the new year!
and remember,
In case anything happens I love you
12 notes · View notes
gotham-daydreams · 7 months
Note
I'M ABSOUTELY SCREAMING AT THE SNEAK PEEK THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR SHARING AJSDLKFJASLKFJDASKLFJSDA
no because like this series is one of my hyperfixations atm and I keep coming back to reread Not Tonight and Not Here and linger on the blog and the sneak peek was so good!!! the anxiety and anticipation all bubbling together in my chest like some sort of sick halloween cocktail (in the best possible way)!!! The inner monologue about just taking advantage of the moment!! The realization of who's at the door!!! the anxiety of the whole city as something is wrong!!! Its so so so so so good thank you so much for giving us a teaser!!!! I can't wait for the next chapter!!!! (but also this isn't me trying to rush you please by all means take as much time as you need! If you waited until 2025 to post chapter three I would still be over the moon!)
I'm so glad!!!
I think the additions will also be nice for those who have read both the teaser and the official post when it comes out, so what you read there isn't just a whole copy and paste of what I've actually written. And you get a bit of insight into how that character feels in that moment, even if I didn't add it.
Though seeing how far along I am- I might post a second teaser when I'm almost finished, since the first half and the second-ish half are pretty different? With the second part being where the real angst kicks in- which if I do it right, may arguably be the heaviest ansgt moment of the series?? Which I only say that since- y'know, it's a direct face-to-face, in person kind of deal. (I wouldn't get my hopes up too high only because that's if I do it correctly. And I also don't want to disappoint you guys or anything, y'know?) Though I also might not, since I don't want to ruin or spoil the biggest part of the chapter- but again, that's if I pull it off.
We'll see- it depends! But I'm excited to give you guys the next part as well!!! And no worries, I won't be taking that long!
Even if I'm not exactly half way there (which, to be fair, it is a little difficult for me to determine where the half way point is since I've kind of 'divided' Part 3 into like, 7 parts????(with 3 of them already being done, and I'm working on the 4th bit right now.)), I'm almost to what I consider to be the biggest part of the chapter, since it's important, and where the angst really comes in. So we're getting there! And we'll see how long Part 3 ends up being as well from there.
Regardless, I'm happy you enjoyed and are so excited!!! Again, I'm excited myself to post the 3rd part, but that'll have to wait a lil bit longer. Though hopefully not too much longer!
15 notes · View notes
fortheb0ys · 23 days
Note
No I think the nickname puppy is so cute wtf 😭😭 I love it frfr, I love nicknames sooo much
I love that tho, I don't think that's embarrassing at all. My boyfriend and I make ocs for I favorite fandoms all the time. We have cod ocs, Minecraft ocs, dbd ocs, and even Supernatural ocs ✊😭 I'm so fucking autistic fr, and I got more than those ones
My cod oc and our Minecraft ocs were huge hyperfixations, we talked about them for months. I even have Pinterest boards dedicated to them
Two years ago for my birthday he actually drew my Minecraft oc and posted it on Instagram
Now that I'm looking at his page, a lot of it is oc art and lore for the both of us
(because I think he deserves way more love on his acct and art than he gets, so if you want to see his @ is bones_the_cannibal_ but you DID NOT hear that from me)
I straight up used to cosplay a lot, I was Ticci Toby for Halloween one year, and I was Virgil from Thomas Sanders personality things 🥲 and with how big the cod fandom is, I think cosplaying a cod oc is the least embarrassing thing you could do in this fandom (unless you're one of the weird straight guys that just want girls attention and are shirtless half the time)
I think unmasked Charlie was very silly (/pos) and I love him ✋ tbh, I didn't even really watch your videos in full, just skimmed a few here and there, enough to see your knife skills and lil Philly, so you don't have to be too embarrassed, I didn't see much
Very glad I got to see him 💪huge L to everyone who didn't
-🥭
I do love nicknames :3 They were gonna nickname me Mutt💀 which Puppy's definitely better in hindsight.
Awww making characters with your bf is sooo cute😭😭 People in relationships who share the same hobbies/interests aaaah its adorable🥺 You guys sound so cute😭 THE CHARACTERS, PININTEREST BOARD AND THE DRAWINGS?!? *kicking and screaming* IT'S SOOO ADORABLE🙏 I LOVE WHEN PPL ARE IN LOVE🥹
I'll be sure to look at his account🫢
My siblings and I always were into the whole character making for fandoms. My earliest memories were my brother going on about his Resident Evil characters so it's no surprise I became the same. Pretty much every fandom I'm into, I have a character for it too😂
I used to cosplay more but adult life kinda took that away. I wish I could do it more often. I just liked making things. Trying to get back into it but it's so expensive🥲
Honestly when I see those straight guys who do the weird phone thrusting vids make me feel sick and the way they're catering to these girls toxic fantasies. Like wtf💀 I've seen SO MANY vids where they're glorifying abuse and people eat that shit up!
The cosplay/cod community kinda freaked me out with all that shit. Like I wasn't even a big creator nor did I do any sexual content and people would still say crazy shit to me. Like nope I can't so this🙅‍♂️
I just did tiktok cause my friends pressured me and that I could share my cosplays with them.
Lol you were the lucky winner to see that side of me and my horrible knife skills😅 Got to see my autism in full swing.
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
sheisraging · 6 months
Text
20 questions for fic writers
tagged by @winderlylandchime !!!
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
31? Not sure if the unrevealed one from the RWRB Halloween event is in that count, so maybe 32?
2. what’s your total ao3 word count?
385,269
3. what fandoms do you write for?
Currently RWRB. Previously CMBYN, MCU.
4. what are your top five fics by kudos
(These are all CMBYN/CMBYN RPF AU)
stay with him if you can (but be prepared to bleed)
these are just a couple of my cravings
i want to feel you from the inside
and i need you more than want you (and i want you for all time)
baby, what a big surprise
5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?
Yes! I appreciate people taking the time to leave a comment, so even if it's just a quick "Thanks!" I like to let them know!
6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I don't do that.
7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Uh. All of them.
8. do you get hate on fic?
Not that I'm aware of?
9. do you write smut?
Yes.
10. do you write crossovers?
No.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
No comment.
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
I don't actually know? I don't think so?
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes. cc @bartbarthelme <3
14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?
Um. Monica and Chandler on Friends? But I don't write fic about them. :P
15. what’s a wip you want to finish but probably won’t?
All of the ones I have started for previous fandoms before new hyperfixations kicked in.
16. what are your writing strengths?
I've been told it's dialogue/banter and domestic fluff.
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
IMO all of them/everything. Definitely the smut.
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've done this, but with lots of help!
19. first fandom you wrote for?
BTVS (many many moons ago)
20. favorite fic you’ve written?
these are just a couple of my cravings was the most fun to write
4 notes · View notes
strawberrycircuits · 10 months
Note
Draw your first ever comfort character :)
Tumblr media
so i got a wii and a 3ds at the same time which were like, basically my first ever consoles. i was like four or something. and i got a bunch of games, and i remember getting mkwii, mk7, galaxy 1, mario party 8, and super paper mario somewhere in that time (along with skyward sword, oot 3D, and twilight princess, lol.) my dad was making a biiig push for me to get into, like. mario and sonic and zelda and all the franchises he grew up with (which i. i think it worked a little too well) while my mom was pushing me towards barbie and disney princesses. and i enjoyed both because i was like four but video games held a special place in my heart and mario became my first ever hyperfixation.
and like. a big thing for me when i was little were characters with red hair. bc i had red hair, and all the media i was exposed to either gave characters blonde or black or brown hair, or itd be an unnatural red like princess ariel (which is cool asf now but it wasnt what i was looking for). it made four year old me super frustrated bc i wanted there to be characters who looked like me and it felt like there just. wasnt. i wanted more options for halloween costumes like everyone else did basically
so when i found out about daisy via unlocking her in mkwii i freaked the fuck out in the best way possible because she LOOKED LIKE ME and she was TOUGH and she PLAYED SPORTS but she also LIKED FLOWERS and most importantly SHE WAS FROM MARIO! SHE WAS A VIDEO GAME PRINCESS AND SHE KICKED ASS and when youre a four year old girl thats just like the most mindblowing thing ever. i memorized every bit of info i could get on her, id watch amvs of her on my elementary schools computers, id spend hours on daisy circuit and daisy cruise just looking at the track details, id talk to anyone whod listen to me about the mario character who was a princess but WASNT peach and who was dating luigi and and and etc etc blahblahblah. point is i fixated on her haaaard
anyways, daisy is still very very close to my heart after all these years. shes still my main in mk8, i squealed when i found out she made it into smash ultimate, and i own a lot of her merch because for a long time there just Wasnt Any unless you were like, a collector or something. and now shes finally going to be playable in mario bros wonder!!!!! do you know how long ive wanted playable daisy!!!!!!!!!
so yeah princess daisy was def my first comfort character. she made me feel seen when i was little. itd be cool if i could do her design justice but kdjffjkdf
7 notes · View notes
ilikekidsshows · 1 year
Text
The Ballad of the Blue Blorbo Rant
When we were little, my sister and I used to divide up favorite characters, like: "You'll get that one if I get this one," so when we got a set of Ninja Turtles toys, we divided them up by color. I knew there were cartoon episodes and a movie even back then, but I was distracted by other movies to get really into it back then. *'This Is Halloween' starts playing*
Years later when I actually cared about cartoons that were airing, a new show came on, and I was sold. Then I saw my favorite toy as a character and I was like: "This one's mine~"
I can't stand when people say Leonardo is boring, like he's too normal in comparison to his brothers. This boy is incapable of acting normal about pretty much anything, everything needs to be extra with this guy. If he can kick an enemy, it'll be the fanciest kick he knows, if the rest of the brothers are sneaking around normally, he's crawling on the walls like he was auditioning for the next Spiderverse movie.
That also goes for the more general complaints that he and his brothers don't act enough like teenagers. This boy is so proud of his ninja skills that he makes them his personality. He'd blog about ninja shit and nothing else. He's a total tater-tot, so relatable it hurts. Leonardo takes himself so seriously, but he's a total doofus. He's not above his brothers' nonsense, he just acts like he is and that is such an important distinction.
Also, his older sibling energy is on point. He radiates big bro levels off the charts.
It's not just that he has a winner personality, his design is on point. All the turtles in this version have the same body type for a reason, it's a solid silhouette shape for a ninja turtle. 03 Leo is a certified hunk by teenaged mutant ninja turtle standards.
Of course, the downside of hyperfixating on this version of the Turtles is that the people making the new cartoons treat it as the friend nobody likes, especially their Leo. "He's not goofy enough, let's make him be into pop culture." "He's too perfect, let's make him the slacker who's secretly a savant." Congratulations, you replaced Leo with a second Mikey, but this time in blue!
Speaking of the replacement Leos, let's go back into the 'hunk' bit. I've never been too into anime boys, I blame it on hyperfixating on superheroes from a young age. Like, get that 'Wolverine the Anime' type of nonsense out of here! (Thankfully someone heard my cries and 'X-Men the Anime' fixed him.) Anyway, that means we start from a hunky boy, then we get downgraded to a twunk and, as if that wasn't enough, next they try to sell me an actual twink.
And that's why being a fan of 03 Leo is actual suffering.
Video version
12 notes · View notes
princesssarisa · 2 years
Text
Character ask: The Youth Who Went Forth to Learn What Fear Is
Tagged by @ariel-seagull-wings
Favorite thing about them: The sheer comedy of his nonchalant responses to terrifying things. Not only is he never afraid, he doesn't even treat the ghosts, goblins, and horrors he faces as anything out of the ordinary. That's the key to the story's humor.
Least favorite thing about them: The fact that he has seemingly no interest in working to help support his family unless it will teach him how to shudder. Of course laziness is a typical trait of rags-to-riches peasant heroes in fairy tales, but I'm glad the adaptations tend to downplay it and just make him quirky instead.
Also, while the ending is funny, with the princess finally making him shudder by drenching him in cold water filled with wriggling minnows, it's slightly disappointing that he never does learn to feel fear. It's no wonder that adaptations tend to change the ending so that something finally does scare him: whether touchingly (e.g. in The Storyteller's episode "Fearnot," when he finds his sweetheart dying of grief from his absence) or humorously (e.g. in Faerie Tale Theatre's "The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers," with his nervousness about getting married).
Three things I have in common with them:
*I tend to feel different from other people. (autism)
*I sometimes don't understand things that most people understand perfectly well. (again, autism)
*Sometimes my different way of thinking causes problems, but at other times it's actually helpful.
Three things I don't have in common with them:
*I'm far from fearless.
*My parents have never kicked me out.
*I'm female.
Favorite line:
When he sees the half-man fall down the chimney:
"Hey, you need another half still; one is not enough." 
From the 1947 Let's Pretend radio adaptation, after the princess "teaches him how to shiver" with a bucket of ice water at the end:
"W-w-well, f-f-f-for Pete’s sake, t-t-t-teach me how to stop!"
From the Faerie Tale Theatre adaptation, in response to a zombie trying to scare him:
"One other thing. About your howl? I think you're using your voice wrong. You want to build from here. (points to his stomach) Right? You want to build from here. (pokes the zombie in the stomach - his hand squishes right through his skin) Sorry... Listen to me. From here. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! You try it.
brOTP: None in the Grimms' tale. But in the loose adaptation from Jim Henson's The Storyteller, "Fearnot," there's Mr. McKay, the cunning tinker who leads him to the scary places, initially just for money, but who eventually becomes his true friend.
OTP: The princess, or in Storyteller adaptation, his village sweetheart Lidia.
nOTP: Any of the monsters he meets.
Random headcanon: He's autistic. Now of course this is an anachronistic viewpoint; he's just meant to be a lucky fool, like so many other peasant boys in fairy tales. But the fact that he specifically can't relate to an emotion which comes naturally to everyone else, that he doesn't pick up on the emotional vibes that other people do in key situations, and that he has a hyperfixation (learning to shudder) and no interest in practical things that don't relate to that fixation... well, all those things sound familiar.
Viewing him from this perspective, I feel better about the fact that he never learns to feel fear: he'll always be different and that's okay.
Unpopular opinion: I don't think I have one, because his story isn't particularly well known. The best I can think of is that it deserves to be retold more often, especially around Halloween: its blend of spookiness and comedy is underrated.
Song I associate with them: None at the moment.
Favorite picture of them:
This illustration by Albert Weisgerber, showing him riding in the moving bed:
Tumblr media
This illustration by H.J. Ford, showing the scene where the sexton tries to scare him disguised as a ghost:
Tumblr media
This picture of the same scene by Maurice Sendak:
Tumblr media
This illustration of the bowling scene (I don't know the artist):
Tumblr media
This illustration by Arthur Rackham:
Tumblr media
This illustration by Dagmar Hermann:
Tumblr media
Peter MacNicol in the 1984 Faerie Tale Theatre adaptation, "The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers":
Tumblr media
Reece Dinsdale in the 1987 adaptation from Jim Henson's The Storyteller, "Fearnot":
Tumblr media
Tim Oliver Schultz in the 2014 adaptation from the German series Sechs auf einen Strech:
Tumblr media
20 notes · View notes
sxilor-1010 · 1 year
Text
INTRO POST
Tumblr media
Hello everyone! My name is Sailor, Sxilor, Silxas, whatever you wanna call me. This is my tumblr blog, (cause apparently my last blog @gr3y-etiola got deleted so I lost all my shit-) so I'm redoing it from scratch! It sucks but it's just how it is, and I needed to redo my blog one way or another...
Tumblr media
I am about 20 years old, using they/she/it pronouns, and I am diagnosed with AUDHD. I often like to ramble about my hyperfixations as well as about characters I enjoy or ocs I have. Some of my current hyperfixations are Ghostbusters, Undertale Yellow, Halloween stuff, Transformers, Ultrakill, Danganronpa (V3 specifically!), Pumpkin Jack (the game), Roblox Doors, Dead Cells, Left 4 Dead 2, and much more.
I'm also a selfshipper who has all of their F/O's in a polycule and will kick the shit out of proshippers on sight.
You can check out all about my F/O's here!
Tumblr media
If you would ever like to talk or ramble, feel free to shoot me a dm or send me an ask! Please make sure to check out my Carrd too so you're aware of my DNI list and to know any of my other handles! I hope after reading this you have an amazing day / night.
Tumblr media
GOODBYE :)
5 notes · View notes
oswlld · 2 years
Text
Reveal Your Watch and Rewatch List
tagged by @jemmo & @talays-portkey ♥♥♥ (tyyy, was tagged all the way back in august, this has been a long time coming) having done this in apr and in july; i told myself that if i was tagged again, i would do my next update in october so ta-daa
watching
andor (eng, s1) — the only show i am currently keep up with week to week. it’s brilliant, utterly brilliant. the three-episode model keeps the writing/action/tension contained, keeping me in this welcoming chokehold until the very end of the season. that is how you keep your storyline moving, for a 12-ep season, without it feeling dragged out. and the story itself has a low, raging rumble against this very real world backdrop. i just want to exist in this world forever, peeling away all the layers of the rebellion and the empire. stripping all that we have known about the force and everything that the existing franchise builds on until all that’s left: empirical fascism and oppression. and we are being gifted this fantastic premise with a character that can’t narratively die. because we already know his fate. this description is in all lower case, but you best believe i am screaming this the whole way through.
somebody feed phil (eng, s4) — this and the below show are two that i have been watching slowly, splicing up all the episodes between when i started in the summer to the end of the year. i am tackling this show one season a month, which is always a breath of fresh air in between all the dramas i have scheduled. phil is an absolute delight to watch and the choice of locations are so well thought out. i already have a trip to plan for nyc in the near future due to this show. i dread the day i run out of episodes to watch…. oh no lol
guardian (cmn, s1) — as i said prev, this is also a show i have split up my time through the year, tackling this show 10 eps per month. I have seen 20/40 so far and it’s great so far! to me, its very reminiscent of shadowhunters (a prev jessi hyperfixation). if you give me mediocre vfx + found family trope, i will eat it all up i love it so. and the two leads go from 0 to work husbands by the second epsiode, i love that for them. they have such amazing chemistry and like somebody feed phil, i will mourn the day i finish this show.
planning to watch
glitch (kor, premiere) — as i write this, i will be starting this show in the evening. osmosis went HARD on my dash lol i mean, the premise and the vibes are all there. i am going into this blind, only with the knowledge of the two actresses having great chemistry together. the space/alien aesthetics are just a bonus. can’t wait to find out what it’s all about, stay tuned.
werewolf by night (eng, movie) — this is also a last min decision to do, esp for halloween night. when i heard about this show, i wasn’t sold on the concept until i saw that gael was the lead and directed by michael giacchino. the man who has gifted us with the ost for LOST and Up! directed a marvel movie????? i am all in. and this all before knowing anything about the plot.
sleep with me (fil, s1) — my first filipino show sched on my watchlist YAYYY!!! for me, it’s such a hard sell to make me watch a filipino series. but this one really peaked my interest, it also being the first gl for me to tackle this year. i know lovi from the one that got away, so im excited to see what she’s like here. hope there’s more filipino content on my radar in the future. the only other show i have on my deck is gaya sa pelikula but have not determined a date for it. maybe summer 2023??
after this show, i do not have any new bl/gl’s on the calendar for the rest of the year. I am waiting for osmosis to kick in for anything coming up. feel free to check out what i do have on deck, thru jan 2023.
rewatching
bad buddy (thai, s1) — i originally planned for a rewatch by myself at the last week of the year, marking the one year anniversary when i started watching this show. it always marked the beginning of my bl/asian drama journey, so it felt right to get this on the calendar for me. sometime ago, i was informed that the fandom was planning a rewatch in october, so i immediately reshuffled my entire rest of the year to accommodate for it lol. what else is there to say, im returning home.
vice versa (thai, s1) — and in replacing my original plan, of rewatching bad buddy at the end of dec, i have now scheduled vice versa. its my birthday week, ofc i want to see my son and my solemn face moonchild. i miss them. SO. MUCH. ugh
-
tagging @pranink (nice to finally meet you!), @suppaloscurse (for the emotional turmoil she put me thru this past weekend), and @casualavocados (what are you up to over there?)
6 notes · View notes
chronicbeans · 6 months
Text
That feeling when the Pokémon hyperfixation hits you on Halloween of all days is wild as all heck and IDK how to describe it other than "I GOTTA MAKE MORE OC mode but hypes up to I GOTTA MAKE A NEW POKÉMON REGION AND WHOLE NEW STORY FOR A GAME".
Anyways, my ADHD is kicking in again-
1 note · View note
sunshinecassette · 3 years
Text
I miss my slasher hyperfixation
5 notes · View notes
wamulu-gorillaz · 3 years
Note
Yo, I was curious if I could get a gorillaz matchup?? not really sure what all to include but i'm bisexual and non-binary.
i am a highschool drop out and interested in wicca but haven't really gotten a clear idea of where to begin learning. ummm.. i'm annoyingly clumsy to the point where i've fallen up stairs so many times.. right now i have like a sprain or something in my toe bc i stubbed it on the ground when trying to kick a rock i found.
my favourite colour is red and i love to draw a lot.. hmm.. i wear my nails natural which means some are long some are broken usually alternated between black red black red polish, but right now the polish is chipped. i'm 5'6'' with hazel eyes and blue-black hair and messy but to my ears with a blunt bangs chop, i choppily cut it in a fit a few months ago bc it was falling over my eyes and annoying the hell outta me lol i chew my lips a lot but i rip my nails with my fingers sometimes when they're broken
i have adhd, bpd, anger issues and anxiety depression and get really strongly attached to the people who i really like. also i hyperfixate on things a lot and right now it's the gorillaz hehe.. uhh i like to fuck with people sometimes but its all in good fun. i like to poke at my partner sometimes for funsies but sometimes i don't like being touched so i can't really get too physically affectionate too often.
umm.. my top two love languages are gifts and words of affirmation i think, but my least one is physical touch. i sing sometimes when i'm scared during a horror game, oh i also really love horror movies and halloween is my favourite one hehe. umm but also sometimes i like to sing random words to the tune of a song i am listening to that pertains to what i'm doing in a given moment.
i think this is enough info, i hope it's enough info, hah, i hope it's not too much. also i hope this isn't too late i saw your pinned post and assumed it'd be ok so i hope it's ok i'm sorry if it's not ;A;!!
2D!
- He’ll sing with you during horror games, no worries. In fact he’ll sing with you any time you start singing
- It sometimes takes 2D a while to comprehend when you’re poking fun at him, but he’ll get there eventually
- Knowing that one of your love languages is gifts, he will literally find anything that makes him think of you and gives it to you. It might be a leaf that happened to fall when he was thinking of you, or anything that’s red and black because it reminds him of your nails, etc.
39 notes · View notes
laughableillusions · 2 years
Note
📌💎
Whatever fixation is currently latched onto your brain
Media hyperfixation ask game!
🎃Halloween/Michael Myers🎃
📌how did you find your hyperfixation?
My dad and I watched the original movie together once, I thought it was p fun bc we both like John Carpenter movies like The Thing (even tho John Carpenter sucks). I didn’t think too much of it but I loved Michael and the movie as like a silly spooky movie abt some guy you know andjsjfbdb, it wasn’t until I watched The Boy and like fell in love w Brahms (I WAS DOWN BAD FRRR) and interacted w the community on tumblr and stuff that rhe huperfixation kicked in and I rewatched 1978 Halloween and latched onto Michael as a comfort character that I just began consuming media like Kirby NDJDJSBDHS
💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?
Ok so I don’t have many facts bc I focus more on the fan stuff and not the movie in general but a thin I DO know that I think is super cool is that the cool sound effect in Halloween 2018 they used (it’s in the track The Shape Hunts Alyson or smth) that cool like “RRRRRAAARRR” thing was made using a violin bow on an electric guitar. Though I think Jimmy Page did that too, and my dad said it’s super hard to make that sort of noise on a guitar bc the strings are round and not flat like violin strings msckkscndn. But still!!! Fuckin cool!!!
4 notes · View notes