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havethetouch · 1 year

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Gen Life Update (a bit ranty tho)

Figured I write a thingie because I noticed some time has passed me by again because stuff got hectic and ehh the radio silence was not intended but might hold for a bit.

Here is the thing - back in November 2022 my best friend and I had some talks about the future, we are roommates, she has a boyfriend who wants to move in together and our lease will end this year and well.. we put a maybe on moving out in general or extending the lease for a year back then, mainly because such a talk was a bit scary and weird.

For context, we both moved out at age 19 from our family homes and moved in together because were we life living alone is not feasible it is too expensive (and it has only gotten worse since) so we have been cohabitating for over 10 years now and such a big change is just... damn.

Anyway fast forward to the beginning of the year were we got back to that talk and decided yeah, moving out it is we do not like the flat much we hate our landlord because he is a piece of shit but we also have no energy nor want to find a new flat that is kinda affordable (almost impossible) and meets our standards because we are in our 30s now and are not willing to go back to living in a small flat like we used to before this one we have right now (even more impossible these days we pay too much for too little space already)

Now we are suddenly at "fuck this we goin!" because roughly two weeks ago our landlord decided to send a formal letter to inform us that we should pay him more money by the beginning of March. Which: fuck off. Pissed off is a cute way to describe how I regarded this shitty piece of paper from a piece of shit person :) So we went from "maybe" to "we gonna write a formal termination letter today weeehhh~"

What our landlord don't know is that in our first year of living here and noticing that he is difficult (example - one off the electrical outlets is broken, has apparently been broken for a while, this is a wee bit not good and he basically gave us a formal warning that this is our problem we should pay to fix that which is legally not true and just bs but I kept the letter so if he wants to fuck us over I have proof that he was aware of the issue and did not care There were other issues with the flat too like heating did not work at first, a window mechanism broke in winter and every time we called to have this fixed he dragged his feet, screamed a bit at us and was a lil bitch about it. For the record, I fixed the window myself after training myself on youtube videos and other stuff to identify the problem and then get creative with fixing that because a part was simply broken in the metal frame which would have meant to replace the whole window mechanism and he would not have paid that shit so I had to made do so my roommate would not freeze in the night bc her window was not closing properly (fuck this man so much eyyyy))

Anyway so we noticed he was a prissy bitch which probably was fueled by the fact that he is both rich and a lawyer and therefore two people he clocked as young as stupid clearly can't outwit his greatness and be too difficult because clearly we would not fight him or whatever. Jokes on him, we joined the tenant union in our first year of his bs and dutifully paid our fees to have help on standby when things get even more dicey. So things are dicey now and I know he will probably try to fight us tooth and nail to keep as much of the security deposit as possible and make things hard he is just this kind of a douchebag. But since we are members of this union we have a right to a lawyer from them at no additional cost (which is a perk you reach after 1 year of memebership god bless them) and they are already alerted of the situation and will help us not only combat his rent increase demand (which he technically can do but he did not do it the legal way and so we have grounds to refuse atm, also hitting us well into February with a sudden "this new price at the beginning of the next month" is also not quite legal either soooo) And yeah so we prepare ourselves for a big blow up on our landlords part because he is deeply allergic to people who do not cower and know their rights. So we are down to "moving out? Nah, exit strategies are planned over here now". My bestie will move out in two weeks we currently pack her stuff and dismantle her furniture and I will not stay here for long either. We will have to adhere to the notice period of our termination but hey maybe he just throws up his hands and terminates from his end to make the time shorter so he can get new folks in asap. It will be fun to deny him prominent viewing spots for new prospective tenants simply bc I work from home and have meetings and can't reasonably be expected to be disturbed by viewings and also can not be expected to vacate the premises bc work. I mean I will fuck off from here asap too I am done with the flat, the landlord and if I'm honest, I'm kinda really tired of the city too. Don't get me wrong i love Vienna with all my hart but there is also lots of bs that happened in this city and I am so ready for just getting outta here and go rural.

As for a more positive note to end this on (kind of) I will be moving into my forever home (possibly). We had some deaths in the family in the last four years and some of you know one of them was my dad. he left me this house and while i have still some reservations to call it my own, I am ready to start my life there and make it my own. Still have to go through some stuff because a lot of the stuff from our dead relatives ended up in the house because we had nowhere else to put it than there so we have to make some room to store my stuff at least and then I can slowly work on the rest. I am still kinda apprehensive about a lot of stuff because there are just many ghosts in this house and it will be hard but it also probably will be freeing and good and I want to tend to my garden and despair on the possibilities on so much space like the house is big, I am used to live out of one room and now soon will have two extra rooms to do as I please with and this is wild to me. all of this is kinda wild to me because I never had much money and with how expensive everything is in the city never had much opportunity to put money aside in the first place I was unemployed for a while some years ago i am used to surviving on little and worked myself into somewhat comfortable as i am currently. Moving into this house will be a game changer because it is paid off. This will absolutely change my life in so many ways, many many good ways. I have rich people dreams on renovating the bathroom because I would love to have a bathtub and it doesn't sound as crazy anymore to think along these lines. Wild. But first I have to pay off some debts and my teeth and then watch me go willllld I guess xd It also is a bit bittersweet bc like I said, my best friend and I (we met at 15 and have been inseparable since then) have been living together for so long and I personally have never lived on my own ever in my life and this is kinda exciting but spooky and I look forward to it but also stress out already over all the stuff I have to think about ahead and plan but ehhh for the first time in 4 years I am actually looking forward to the future and feel tentatively hopeful and this is also kinda heavy because it's been a while since I did that, the last 4 years were just a bit too hard to look past the next day or even beyond that. But now I look at my plans for just 2023 and I'm like "fuck yeah, screw surviving I'm ready for thriving" So... Imma be a bit more busy in the next days than I had expected due to vacating my flat as fast as possible and I hate moving but i love the idea of this being the final time so bear with me I work on art still in my downtimes when I need some cleansing but yehhh bit busy. Wee bit busy but finally busy with better things. Hopeful things. Life stuff, you know?

Love ya~

#touch speaks #journal #life update #bit ranty #long post #fuck my landlord srsly #future plans

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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12/27/22

It's 3:30 AM.

Today was... difficult.

It was going fine, then my mom called right after I got my delivery. I was a bit overwhelmed today, just... didn't really feel like going out and getting groceries the day after Christmas. Delivery is fine. And I kinda earned it, considering the only people who acknowledged I'm even alive on Christmas was my mom and my older brother who I barely talk with. So, in fighting the Christmas blues, I decided to treat myself.

It's a shame my food was cold. Because within 10 minutes of the conversation starting, she got insanely defensive. And again, so that I keep this journal about my shit and not others'... let's just say that we identified that it was a panic attack of one sort or another, but only after an hour of me being treated very roughly. And I did literally nothing. So, again, just trying to speak about my experience because I really feel uncomfortable talking about other peoples' shit. I'm struggling after it. I went from super energetic and really excited to take on a project... I have a bloodstone that I wanted to wire wrap tonight and maybe see if I can find other smaller pieces or some of the wooden beads to pair it with. It was gonna be a whole thing. After the conversation, I shit you not, I felt more tired than I did when I got back from skating the other day. Like I started nodding off. Not even remotely exaggerating.

I tried to watch some tutorials and videos to get myself inspired again, no dice. I have all my tools and the stone still out on my desk right now, like 5 hours later. This is how it goes for me. And for the past few years, it has been this several times a week. Every week. It has disabled me. Like... I have my own issues on top of this, right? I'm single and in my mid-30's, I've never really been in a healthy relationship to the point where I'm terrified to get into one because I'm afraid I won't be able to tell if it's unhealthy, or even know how to walk away from it if I realize it is. I have no official work history over the past... almost 10 years, nothing documented. I've never paid taxes and at this point, I'm afraid to ask how. I have no friends, the only friends I had were kinda just using me to brag and flex their interests or whatever, treating me like a show-off older brother or something, literally none of them looked up to me, admired me or asked for my advice on shit, and the kicker? I am like 5-6 years older than all of them. I just moved, alone, in winter. I have like no furniture, I had to part with a very big portion of my personal possessions (aka my memories). My cat is sick. Like... I've got enough on my plate, right? XD Then I just get the shit kicked out of me and... it just knocks me out. Then I get like one or two days of recovery and - if I'm lucky - positivity... Then I get kicked right down again.

What happens is... the acute stuff like what happened to day is much more bold and underlined so it gets all of my energy and attention to recover from it. And recovery requires low-energy expenditure, rest. So the rest of my life shit ends up neglected. Stray hairs start piling up in the bathroom. Cardboard boxes pile up in the living room. Trash and dishes start piling up. That trip into town gets put off another week, until I feel like I have the emotional fortitude to brave the public world alone again. And they all grow and grow and grow. And when you're going alone, and all your problems just continually grow, you only have the energy reserves and resources of one person to face these things. So it's gonna take a long-ass time. It's like you're peeling ivy off of the walls of your brick house before the ivy consumes it and tears it apart, but you can only peel it back one leaf per day. And you pray you have the energy to outpace it. Like the slowest neck-and-neck race in history. Like two snails on a racetrack with a photo finish. It's such a shit feeling.

And for years, I have been telling people - verbatim - "you have no idea how much of an impact literally any assistance with just everyday shit would make in my life." And people just... don't really process it, I guess. Maybe they think I'm bullshitting to like... "trick them" into doing my dishes for me? That's my best guess, something suspicious, right? What they really don't realize - and let me be really clear, the majority of these "they" in this context were mental health professionals, okay? - what they don't realize is that helping me, or helping me find someone to help me, with these everyday things... to help peel back the ivy... Where I have only enough spare energy (because I'm healing and recovering), they have enough energy for like... a foot-long branch. And it's like, nothing to them. And the impact that would make in my life would be like... buying me two weeks of time to recover. For like... no cost to them.

But every fucking time. Every fucking time. Denied. Evaded. Excused as like... "teaching me how to do it myself", as though I don't know how to wash dishes or pay bills or fill out a resume. Fuck, I could probably do that shit better than them!

I'm actually getting stressed out hearing myself vent about this. I'm walking away from this line of thought. I want to curl up under the comforter with my cat and listen to generic boring piano music and smell the essential oil diffuser with some weird sweet fruity oil that can't possibly be Bamboo and Teak, but is labeled as that. And try my best to reset my mental vibes so I don't end up in a surreal hellscape the second my conscious mind goes into recharge-mode.

So... let me get a head-start, since I'm heading right there. Good vibes. Hmm... Well, I witnessed my mom have a breakthrough today. And as hard as that is, and scary as that is, and how big the cost was... it was really important, and memorable. And I hope it lasts. And I hope she gets the help she needs to be the happy person she deserves to be. She has earned being happy. She still has work to get there, but she has support from a veteran who has been in the trenches full-time for over 5 years. And she got the ball rolling with Betterhelp, she's just looking for someone closer to her age to make her more comfortable... and that's super important in therapy. You have to feel comfortable talking about what you're dealing with. So, I really fucking hope she gets a good match soon.

Ugh, do I have better vibes than that? I polished a piece of smoky quartz tonight, it's almost completely transparent, that was pretty cool. And dinner wasn't bad. And I had a cookie, that was pretty good. You know what. Okay, here it is. I listened to Coheed and Cambria's In Keeping Secrets album in the shower today. That was my album when I was in high school. They were 100% my favorite band back then. And just singing along in a falsetto at like... metered volume so the neighbors wouldn't hear me too loud? That sensation brought me back to a period of like... at least 5 years of some of the most creative and personal growth of my entire life. It brought me right back. And I have been avoiding nostalgia for a while because... trauma... and yeah, just getting freaked out about getting old. Like Coheed is basically classic rock now. Which is so fucking weird to me. Like that Coheed album came out in like 2002 I think, something like that. So that equivalent today... would be an album that came out in 1982 back then. So, like... back then the oldest thing I was listening to that was like... "cool" was probably Master of Puppets by Metallica, and I wasn't like... huge into Metallica, I actually wasn't really a big fan, but I had a lot of important memories attached to that album. My fencing teacher used to play it when we would practice and warm up, it was very energizing and nostalgic. So I guess this album is like that for people today. It's really hard to process that. Like, time is really hard for me to process in general, but like... just the idea that so much time has passed. I just don't have the words.

Anyway, I looked over at my guitar when I said "You know what." My acoustic, to be specific. Delilah. She's the same guitar I had in college. I got her as a Christmas gift (I think) in... 2005, maybe? She's been to both coasts. She kept me company when my bandmate invited me to drive 2.5 hours down to visit him in his dorm room during summer break and he got drunk and invited a chick over for the night and I slept 2 hours on his common room couch while he presumably banged this not very attractive young woman, then once the sun came up, spent a good chunk of the morning out in the courtyard chainsmoking with Delilah and playing until my fingers couldn't move. She was my go-to break when me and my friend Aimee were sharing her art studio to pull all-nighters to finish our projects. She kept me company when my drug-dealing (figured that out after the fact, I thought it was just weed and like occasional recreational pills) roommate threatened my life because I played the drums in the house when I thought no one was home, and he and his girlfriend were in the next room skipping class because they were detoxing off of heroin. Delilah and I spent the whole night laying on the floor of the painting studio practicing Laser Speed by Between the Buried and Me over and over and over until we had to hide in the bathroom to dodge getting kicked out by security, because I was too scared to go back to the house and had nowhere else to go. She has a sticker on her from a local mexican food chain that went out of business like 3 years ago. XD I love her a lot. And I think I'm going to spend a little time playing some music before bed to reset the vibes. I'm glad I looked over there, these are hard memories, but we survived. And we're stronger for it. And no matter how dark shit got in my life, she always helped me find a way to make something beautiful out of it. <3

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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hallcolumn71 · 2 years

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26in Bmx Bikes

The great thing about 2-stroke engines is that they ‘re small, fast, and highly customizable — the room a lowrider engine should be . At around8.5 to 9 inches, 2-stroke engines are particularly ideal if you ’ re putting together a mechanized lowrider bicycle . Whether you ’ re a passionate lowrider winnow or this is your beginning lowrider build up, there are workarounds to installing an engine on your front-runner bicycle. In this article, we ’ ll take a look at what you need to get a motorized lowrider bike up and running, restrictions to be mindful of, and the proper assembly . The ride was opened on 17 July 1991 by Frank Bruno.

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Would think two times or the mark sure is tried properly has been during a window of turn.

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This 26" fork is constructed of chrome-plated steel. The steerer is 250mm long and has about 150mm of threaded area. It may be cut it to your needed length. The dropouts are...

Was the little concerned after reading roughly descriptions, but has not had any of some worries of qualities some reviewers has mentioned.

I don't know how much you could recoup selling the parts you don't want though.

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Lowrider Bicycle Complete Bike

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Inch Bicycle

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I assume some people those who buy this bicycle will do so only that with a majority of the people that knows hand that the basic laws of tools and his when being able of the gather they. Please does not listen to the people that complains in difficult assembly how was extremely easy included a detangler brakes something duquel has not seen never or treaty in the bicycle before. Likes some of some other people here, looked to locate again he BMX fashionable bicycle to go back ready. I have been tired of the bicycle of dad cruiser or the highland bicycle and I have has wanted to something smaller that launch in a backside of a truck easily.

#26 inch bmx bikes

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thoustve · 2 years

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gonna ramble below the cut bc im tired and frustrated jksdjkfd. hopefully it cuts properly on mobile so yall can just scroll past if you dont want to hear me ramble/be whiny for just a minute

so. wauuguhg. i know it was necessary but i hate that this cough is costing me money and STILL hasnt gone away.

so ive had a cough (which is pretty much chronic at this point ive had it somewhere around 8-10+ weeks now i think? idk, ive lost track of time at this point, its been that long with it and i've still got it, though some days are better, some days are worse lol), and it had been like 3 weeks or so with the cough at the time, had called the doc to make a doc appt. but in order to make the doc appt, i needed to get a covid test - not an at home test, but a pcr/lab test (which is fine, gotta be safe/sure before seeing doc abt it so im not spreading it, i get it yknow?) but anyway, that test came back negative as i suspected it would bc i had just been sick with it in january and even though you can get reinfected in that time, i hadn't been around anyone with it or gone out in that time, so it seemed unlikely.

so went to the doc abt it couple of weeks ago, got blood drawn and seen by doc, got prescribed medicine, the general shebang - meds helped a little for like a moment - it never really… fully got rid of the cough, but it helped me have better days with it. for a moment. but it didnt get rid of it and still hasnt gone away! but anyway. yknow, paid for that appt, paid for the meds. a week or two passes and the blood results come back and cholesterols fucky, fine, whatever, im working on trying to manage what i eat because of that, but i gotta go back 2nd week in june to get my blood drawn again for it, so thats like, more money for another doc appt/at least blood lab test to check that out again (and i may just make it a full appt again if i can afford to because this cough is still stickin around)

but not only that, apparently when i got tested for covid was after the hrsa fund had run up, and im uninsured. so not only was that covid test not free/did i get sent a bill for it (which i guess the good thing is i can pay it in parts/it doesnt have to be done all at once...), but it's going to cost me only just a bit under what the doc appt was/roughly around the same ballpark. so two doc appts + a covid test to pay for and i still feel like shit ksdfjk. and chances are if i go to the doc abt it, either he's going to brush it off and i'll continue to have a cough and feel like shit, or i'll have to go to a specialist and spend more money so there's like. no winning, i guess. to top it off im sore as fuck from having to start work at walmart again because i needed to make money again and hadn't heard from other places in a while/never really was getting anywhere further than interviews with places. i guess the good thing is im making $14/hr and since i wanted to go part time this time, i'm making roughly the same amount of money working $14/hr for 4 days that i was when i worked $11 for 5 days like 2 years ago.

but it sucks because im sore from starting work there again (and i think i'll continue to be because i've been in a lot more just.... general pain these days), ive still got a cough i've had for weeks upon weeks, while the fatigue isnt as bad as it was 6 months ago i AM still having to fight fatigue really hard when at work just to make it through the day..... and man im just exhausted

#ask to tag -#negative -#physical health -#venting - ?#ranting -#long post #anyway ill be alright in the end im just TIRED #at least i have my little getaways from the pain and exhaustion in games and streams and videos #and at least i still find an ENJOYABLE source of work when i can through commissions even if i cant live off of doing them #im glad i can at least bring peoples ideas and characters to life even a little #and its a nice getaway from the physical exhaustion otherwise lol

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dayquercus · 2 years

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vanity fair (copying who?) but in a funnier way

not the 3rd, and there’s no third man …

let that graduation gown be her sleeping gown ..

yesss! made a friend, (can be one of the best), laughters, I cough cough again, seriously, non-stop clearing my throat, she’s heading to Singapore (speaking Cantonese/German, while me catching up with French/Italian), sadly, helping her job hunting or changing her mind - please come back, London and travelling (Morocco is not safe for a singleton here!), I’m getting used to travelling alone, but I wouldn’t mind going with her….

talked from 7pm-23:10….. laptop meant 0, some training after the weight gainer drinks? research paper (read a bit while waiting) ….

been waiting for? The Ivy at last!!! for about a year!! too busy in the summer (working roughly 6 days a week) and we were the annoying last couple of customers who stayed late before it closed its door ….

had her consent : posting

after 3 glasses ….. it’s about the angle , that shoe did not touch the wall/object at all! sorry, a long skirt is not convenient at all (spread your leg) - dance ….. baggy trousers please

not recommended : no stockings (but it was chilling at night - was it?)

midnight tiramisu is out of stock ;(

support Umit’s cinereal!!! usually the bag is from Daunt Books, like Shakespeare’s Company (wooden stairs/chairs/cats….) . do have that+that+that leather (and other materials) bags, but ….. not too serious …..

closed-up face: about neuroticism

Heard that Amber she’s diagnosed with Histrionic PD & BPD, …..play-ACT! how…. had more props in the bag, photos aren’t enough, people around. @ The Ivy .. their takeaway box looks like a cake box (love) .. a bottle of red & champagne colada, fine, chewing mint leaves to avoid the fear of vomiting after the chicken plate …..

been writing this essay on Narcissistic PD …. I’m becoming one ….. just haven’t bought any new clothes/dress since/after the graduation last summer, or for the special occasion ….. busy studying (I now remind self : grade is not everything + life is short ….) “don’t be so hard on yourself” ….

vain vain vain , but I’m poor , paying my own rent this month , split into two (that I can afford / achievable ….) , celebrate : independence , adulting ….. she paid for this dinner - £35 for a bottle makes a 90 …. 2 places in 1 evening ….. in return , I will buy her tea tea tea (tons) ……. and some help and some home-made cakes before she leaves the country ….

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fragilevixenfic · 3 years

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My AO3 Fanfiction Links (Current)

“I’ve never really thought about making a “Master List” of my own work but I figured, now is the time to do so. If any of the links are incorrect just let me know. I fix.

Adding in a “keep reading” tab because the list is starting to get long and intense.

Each fic is categorized and easily referenced. I’ll update as I go.

X Files

Series

Into The Shadows

XII (COMPLETE): A serial killer targets victims and leaves behind symbols of his affection -- but who is his intended target and what will it take to discover the truth? (This has a lot of trigger warnings)

Dance In The Dark (ONGOING Chapters 12/? Posted **UPDATED): With the continuing murder trial of Miles, Mulder, Scully, and Max are confronted by the VCU with a case that seems to be mimicking the pattern by their, now infamous, psychopath on trial.

Echoes and Whispers

Parallel (COMPLETE): The aftermath of the three little words that Mulder says to Scully in his hospital bed after being rescued from the Queen Anne as it re-appeared in the Bermuda Triangle...and the strange connection that Scully starts to feel to a memory that Scully couldn't possibly have.

Only The Night (ONGOING): Mulder and Scully begin their undercover assignment as an engaged couple with the assistance of Skinner at the University of Maryland to catch a serial rapist, putting their newly formed physical bond to the test in this sequel to “Parallel”.

Casefics

Falling Away (COMPLETE): Kersh’s assignment partially splits the team as Scully goes undercover under the watchful eye of Mulder as they both assist on an operation with SWAT and FBI personnel. (A gift for Greta)

Veritas se revēlet (COMPLETE): (The title is roughly translated to let the truth be revealed in Latin) An impromptu wild goose chase leads Mulder and Scully to the drifts of a winter-locked Tonopah, Nevada—where a little more than the embodiment of Mulder’s imagination takes shape between the walls of the Mizpah Hotel in the dead of winter. (A gift for @monikafilefan)

She Walks at Night (COMPLETE): Mulder’s knack for getting himself and Scully into sticky situations leads them to the heart of NOLA at the tail end of Hurricane season after barely surviving a Floridian storm—to investigate a rumor of a notable Voodoo Queen and missing girls trying to bring her back. (A gift for @starbuck09256)

Intrigues in the Dark (COMPLETE): A string of suicides leads Mulder and Scully to a sleepy, coastal town in Oregon for the second time—on their return to The X File—as tensions run high and nothing is as it seems. (A gift for @admiralty-xfd)

By Light, Unseen (COMPLETE): A series of re-opened cold case murders with one link…they’d been drained of every drop of blood and wore the same, haunting stare toward the sky with their lips aghast as if they were still screaming. (A gift for @serahsanguine)

Post-Series

A House is Not a Home (COMPLETE): The mere thought of raising a newborn in a world full of horrors has every part of Scully’s emotional irrationality over firing on a chilly, winter evening. Mulder wants nothing more than to show her that not everything is gray and grim. (for @danceswithcybermen)

Remember the Reason (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 1 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder and Scully already knew that life with a newborn would be difficult but the first Christmas with their two-month-old daughter throws every curveball…some worse than others, some more humorous. (For @underworldobsessed)

Confectioners Sugar & Snow Drifts (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 2 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder spends the morning bonding with Eliana by having a Christmas baking session while Scully is out shopping for gifts. Messes, mayhem, and a healthy dose of laughter ensue. No moment is ever dull as the snow falls outside.

The Easter Bunny was a Fox (COMPLETE): Post Series (Part 3 of the “Little Redhead” Series). Scully has to pick up Bill, Tara, and a couple of surprise family from the airport, leaving Mulder alone with their 6-year-old daughter, Eliana, on Easter Morning. All she has for him are curiosities as Easter’s non-Christian ideology unfolds before her eyes…creating the most unique bonding opportunity for a father and his daughter. (For Flicked_Switch)

Angst/UST/RST

Caught in the Rain (COMPLETE): A dark, rainy night leads Mulder and Scully to a hole in the wall bar where glasses of Scotch and unresolved tension is re-visited.

Or We Can Burn (COMPLETE): Post Never Again - expansion and continuation of the aftermath surrounding what Scully has been hiding from Mulder.

It Lingers (COMPLETE): The aftermath of trauma and the lingering effects of Mulder’s risky attempt to recover the truth about Samantha’s abduction leads to a revelation from Scully about her own coping mechanisms and flashes into a past she doesn’t fully remember...and the path to which they lead thereafter. (For @red2007)

Fluff/Humor

Nervous Laughter (COMPLETE): It’s been two full days since their tender, albeit brief, moment at the stroke of midnight and Mulder decides to be brave and methodical by inviting Scully over for a little movie and popcorn night for a film that has stayed locked in his mind as her favorite—The Exorcist. (This is a gift for @rationalcashew)

Lamplight & Shooting Stars (COMPLETE): It’s Spring-time in DC and spontaneous, mutually taken vacation time has become a personal mission of Mulder’s to surprise Scully with so much more than an escape from their norm—and the unseasonable, uncomfortable city heat. (For @underworldobsessed)

Into the Nightlife (ONGOING): A little paid vacation time never hurt anyone, right? (Not giving anything away this time)

Smut

Insomniac (COMPLETE): Another lonely, sleepless night, another dingy motel, and another town that isn’t home for Mulder…but, something changed, with the last gasp of the air conditioner as his partner, and best friend, chooses to walk through the adjoining door. (Expanded writing exercise)

Vultus in Speculo (COMPLETE): The last of the paperwork on the Strickland case has been finalized and filed and Scully goes off for a drink at a known FBI watering hole. Mulder is invited but doesn’t show up until after Scully is halfway through a drink—giving him an opening to inquire about a whole lot more than her flirtations with the Sheriff in the booth of a rooftop bar. (written for @msrheadcanon

Phosphorescence (COMPLETE): Still reeling from their experience in North Carolina, Mulder and Scully take a much-needed excursion to the coast of Oregon, where a flicker of light becomes more than a curiosity in the middle of the night. (Written for @anniexami)

The Darker Side of Love (COMPLETE): Mulder does not want to talk but he does not want Scully to leave, either. (This is for the MSR fanzine vol 3)

Ficlets/Drabbles/Short Prompt Collection

Affirmations and Protestations: “Fluff and Angst” Prompts (ONGOING):

Chapter 1 - "You Weren't Supposed to Hear That" - prompt #5, 61, 77

Chapter 2 - "Shout!" - prompt #19, 61 (From Valerie)

Chapter 3 - "Litost" - prompt #1, 85, 97 (From Monika)

Chapter 4 - "Ad Infinitum" - prompt #42 (From Minuete)

Chapter 5 - "Brick" - prompt - After Scully calls Mulder in the ep Emily, she asks him to bring her some things from home. Her journal falls to the floor and Mulder sees some things written about him that she has never allowed him to know. (from Monika)

Chapter 6 - "I'd rather be oblivious" - prompt #46 (from Annie)

Criminal Minds

Angst/UST/RST

Dulce Periculum (COMPLETE): Maxine and Spencer have continued seeing each other, in spite of the interference brought to the surface by Cat Adams. Spencer continues to work closely with the BAU after it nearly dismantled, with signature members scattering to the winds, leaving behind only a few, including himself, to keep working on their caseload. After a long, intense case, Spencer returns home to a little more than a can of worms. (A gift for an anonymous prompter)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Angst/UST/RST

Chasing your Silhouette (COMPLETE): They’d learned each other’s quirks and intricacies on the job—but when did it become over the line? When did physicality become a detriment to them once they’ve taken off their shields? When did they realize the line in the sand no longer existed? (This is meant to take place a couple weeks after “Zebras” – had to assume a timeline, I don’t remember actual dates)

Paternity Redux - Time Just Stopped (COMPLETE): Her strength has always been immeasurable—but sometimes, something has to give and a string breaks. Nothing will ever be the same.“I’m trying my best, that is enough.” - UnknownThis is part of a challenge, to right a series of wrongs in an episode that has perpetrated many a discussion of “What Could Have Been”. WriterKC, Liv.Einziger, JustAnotherBookWorm78, MrsWellRested, EORocks, AlexisDawn, ChriskaPeach, and I have stepped up to the plate to do just that.

Oblivion (ONGOING 9/? Chapters posted ***UPDATED***): The undercover operation in Oregon takes an unexpected, unpleasant turn for Olivia Benson as an injury turns her life, and career, upside-down leaving her with pieces of her memory scattered in the wind.

Humor

Unlock the Door (TENTATIVELY COMPLETE 2/2): Olivia returns home from a celebratory series of shots with Kim Greylek and lets Elliot Stabler hear a little more than she ever intended to in the aftermath.

Series

Polaroids and Promises (COMPLETE): The Special Victims Unit has undergone an enormous amount of changes in the past six months, to the point that they are drastically undermanned—until a transfer from the 13th precinct brings new life, and a little chaos, to the team. Will her addition prove to be a permanent shift or a flash in the pan?

Discarded Dignity (COMPLETE): Elora continues to gain much-needed confidence as a member of the Special Victims Unit but an arrival booked for trespassing, assaulting an officer, and disorderly throws her progress into chaos as her past jumps to the surface. Will she be able to look beyond the misstep to solve one of the most convoluted cases she’s faced?

Contract Corruption (ONGOING 10/?): Dickie Stabler and Justin Andrisani are in over their heads--and the members of SVU and the Organized Crime task force must come together in order to set things right.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Organized Crime Crossover

Series

Words of love, words of lies, words of loss

Age of Regret (COMPLETE): Elliot Stabler has never been good with words but ten years and a double on the rocks in a lonely room will make a man pour his heart out…in any way that he can.

Infidelis (COMPLETE): Elliot had been haunted by too many ghosts; expectations, fantasies, and a promise that he knew should never be kept. It was time to lay them all to rest. “I do not regret you…I regret what you did to me.” - Unknown

#My fics #X Files #Criminal Minds #this is ongoing #someday soon #this will have SVU on it #all the fics #Law and Order: Special Victims Unit #yes I have more #no they are not all done #I'm a little crazy #Organized Crime #crossover

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darkmulti · 4 years

Text

Love Lies

BTS

Pairing: Yandere! Jungkook, Sugar Daddy! Jungkook, Split! Jungkook x female reader

Genre: Angst & Smut

Word Count: 5.5K

CONTAINS DARK THEMES! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

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A/N: I’m so fucking done with tumblr. This is really shitty like the rest of my works. Read the warnings carefully.

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐃𝐈𝐃) 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲/𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬.

Contains ‘hardcore’ kinks

Smut Warning: multiple smuts, anal, choking, dacryphilia kink, heavy degradation, bdsm -> ddlg, face slapping, spanking, fucking in front of a mirror, spanking, fingering, hair pulling, blowjob, cum eating, overstimulation, dirty talk, finger sucking, bondage (I’m probably missing something)

Other Warnings: possessive Jungkook/ JK, mentions of past abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, blood, murder, Jungkook kills people, cheating

Featuring Baekhyun (EXO) and Taehyung (BTS)

THIS CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX!

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“No! Stop! Let me go! I want to go home! I hate you!” You cried, provoking Jungkook even more. He spanked your bare butt cheek again. “Is that how you talk to your owner? Mmh? Answer me, you slut!” Another spank was placed on your bottom. You whimper under him, not knowing what to do.

“Please… I want the old you back.”

—————

2 weeks ago

You peered out of the tiny, plane window as the sun was shining right in your eyes. Finally, you’ve arrived in the city of love, Paris, France. You’ve always dreamt about coming here, but you couldn’t afford it. It was unfortunate at the time however, life is full of surprises. You sat down next to your sugar daddy - Jungkook - and leaned in for a kiss. You’ve been with him for a year now and it has been the best year of your life.

He bought you high-end accessories, clothes and cars. He owned huge mansions, a private jet and a helicopter. Being a billionaire was amazing for the most part. Though there was one thing Jungkook found himself struggling with and that was his love life. Coming back home to an empty bed after a long day of work made him feel like shit. That’s why he hired you.

You started working for Jungkook as a personal assistant. Everything about you lit up Jungkook’s eyes. But in secret, of course. You were smart, pretty, professional, your eyes and smile made Jungkook’s heart skip a beat. Yet, he still kept a cold attitude towards you.

You didn’t mind his cold attitude. It kept you on track and productive throughout the day. To you, Jungkook was a boss. Nothing more or less. That’s why you politely denied going out with him.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. I’d like to keep things professional between us.” You said calmly but inside you were freaking out.

Jungkook poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. So you’re playing hard to get with him? Too bad, Jungkook always gets what he wants. “If you don’t go out with me tonight, I’ll fire you.” You look at him in confusion. “W-what?! Why? You can’t do-”

“I can and I will. Be ready by 7. I’ll pick you up.” He walks back to his office like nothing happened while you stood there with your mouth wide open from shock. The following night, you got ready for your date. You can’t lose your job. How will you survive? Your money situation was already pretty tight, so you really couldn’t lose this job. Jungkook texted you right at 7 pm and told you he was outside of your apartment.

That’s where the wonderful journey with him began. You both were close to finishing your meal when he brought the contract up.

“I know you're struggling with money right now, but I promise I can make it all go away.” He whipped out his papers and handed it to you. “It’s a contract. I want you to spend time with me. Ask me about my day, cuddle with me, satisfy my sexual needs and I'll give you whatever you want besides money.” Your eyes widen. Is he serious? You flipped through the pages that were full of detailed paragraphs. “You want to have sex with me?” Jungkook nodded his head and avoided eye contact. “If you agree you can move in with me and stop stressing about money. I’ll take care of you.”

“No. You’ll take my independence and freedom away.”

“You say no to this contract, you’re fired.”

“You can’t-” you argue back.

“As I said before, I can and I will.” His voice got deeper, completely shutting you up.

“Can I at least have some time to read over this?” You look back down at the paper and flip to the last page. “Wait wait wait. What’s ‘DID’?”

“Read it.”

‘Dissociative identity disorder’ You read quietly to yourself. “Wait, you have another personality?” You ask, looking up at him.

“Why do you think I'm so cold towards everyone? It’s not me, it’s him.” He said, casually sipping his wine. “JK is the one dealing with… issues.” His voice went quiet. “Issues?” You were quietly utter. “I can’t tell you yet.” You nodded and flipped through the papers again.

“How long is this contract for?”

“Two years.”

“Can we test this out for one week?”

Jungkook hesitated. He didn’t want to get used to you just for you to leave him in the end. “No. Simple yes or no, princess.” Jungkook had you wrapped around his finger. You rub your temple and reach for the pen. “Fine. But don’t make me break the contract.” You hand him back the signed paper. “Let's go to my house. You’re moving in with me.” He paid for the expensive meal then brought you back to his enormous mansion.

That night he made love to you. It was one spectacular night. You smiled to yourself as you thought about all the memories you’ve made with him.

“Princess, what’re you smiling at?” He looked over at your lap, making sure you weren’t texting someone. Jungkook was extremely possessive and had trust issues. You were assuming it was because of his other side so you never questioned him. Speaking of his other side - JK - you met him not too long ago. After entering Jungkook’s life, JK hasn’t shown himself too much. He only comes out to punish you. You shivered as you thought of your last punishment. How could a human being be so cruel?

You snap out of your thoughts as the jet touches the ground. “We’re here. Let's go.” Jungkook got up and held his hand out to you. You grab it and he leads you out of the jet and to the black SUV parked a couple of feet away. While the driver drove to Jungkook’s penthouse, you started bugging Jungkook.

“How much did your penthouse cost?”

“I don’t know. Around 8-10 million. It has an indoor swimming pool and a movie room.” Your innocent eyes widened when you heard the price. “Daddy, that’s a lot of money.” You whisper in his ear. He grabbed your bare thigh with his tattooed hand and looked at you. “it’s like twenty dollars for me, baby girl.”

As soon as you guys entered the penthouse, his tongue was already down your throat. He impatiently took your clothes off and started fingering you, while you unbuttoned his shirt to feel his rock hard abs. Jungkook picked your naked figure up and carried you to the master bedroom. He placed you down on the bed and took his pants off. He stroked himself a couple of times before entering your already wet hole.

You hold onto his muscular arms for dear life and watch him go into you. “Please daddy, you’re so fucking big. Feels so good.” You moan, immediately clenching around his member. “Open your mouth.” As soon as you do, he spits into it then slaps you. “Little girls don’t swear.” You swallow his saliva and apologize for swearing. “S-sorry daddy. It won't happen again.” You wrap your legs around his waist as he pulls you closer to him. His whole cock was throbbing inside you, turning you on even more.

He wraps his fingers around your neck and starts thrusting in, each time going harder and faster. The room filled with moans, grunts and skin slapping. “You like this don’t you, you little slut? So desperate and needy for daddy’s cock. Swallowing my saliva like a dirty little girl.” He raised your leg and spanked your butt. All you could do was moan for him. Your brain couldn’t even form a sentence. “C-close” you whimper, hoping he would let you cum.

Jungkook placed his thumb on your nub and rubbed it in a circular motion while pounding your pussy. “If you cum without my permission, daddy’s gonna have to punish you. You remember your last punishment right?” Your heart stopped. You never want to interact with JK ever again. You could cry just by thinking about the last punishment. “Y-yes daddy! I remember it but please don’t punish me. I won’t cum without your permission.”

He started thrusting faster while rubbing your clit harder. Your body started shaking because of the sudden pressure. “No! Slow, please! I won’t be able to hold it in!” You cried, putting your feet on his chest and trying your best to push him away. Jungkook slapped you again and flipped you onto your stomach. He roughly entered in again, making you scream. He spanked your ass and pulled your hair while thrusting harder and harder. “No, please! I-I can’t!” You sob, kicking your feet back.

You squeeze around him one more time before cumming on his cock. You release your clenched muscles and relax your body. “Did I say that you can fucking cum?” You shook your head ‘no’ and cried under him. “I’m sorry, daddy. I really couldn’t hold it. I tried my best.” He smacked your butt again and kept thrusting. This wasn’t Jungkook anymore.

It was a long and painful night. It became extremely painful to cum. Your wrists were tied above your head. Your legs were wide open while he viciously hammered himself into you. Your body was covered in hickeys and bruises. You squirt around him once again and knock out before he could finish.

Jungkook continued roughly fucking you despite you not being conscious. He gripped onto your waist and pulled your body back while he thrust forward. After a couple of hard thrusts,’ he came in you. Cum overflowed in your hole. Your thighs were completely soaked. He picked you and laid you down on the bed before reaching over for a towel to wipe the cum off.

The next morning you woke up naked on his chest. “Good morning.” He said in a raspy tone. “Good morning” You whisper back. “What do you want for breakfast?” He asked while running his fingers through your hair. “Pancakes please.”

Jungkook helped you shower since you couldn’t feel the lower half of your body. When you got into the shower, he placed you down on your knees and slapped your face with his cock. “Open your mouth, princess.” The second it opened, his cock was shoved down your throat. You choke around him while holding onto his muscular thighs. “Suck, babygirl. Suck it like a good slut.” He pushed your hair out of your face and harshly fucked your mouth since your pace wasn’t satisfying him. He slapped your face as you struggled to breathe around him. “Look at me, you little whore!” You look up at him with eyes full of tears. Soon you felt ropes of thick cum going down your throat. You swallow it all down and moan around his cock.

The next week was full of rough sex. During the day Jungkook had to “deal with business” so you stayed home, scared and helpless. Every night he would come home and drag you out of bed just to have sex with you. Your body and mind couldn’t keep up. Every time he touched you, you mentally screamed and cried. Some nights he would come home covered in blood. Of course, it was terrifying. You’ve never seen this side of him. And you’re not sure what triggered it either.

You were in your shared bedroom when you heard the door unlock. He was home earlier than usual. He walked into the bedroom with a dress in hand. “Get up and get ready. We have to attend a party. Here’s your dress.” He left the room and you left to take another shower. After putting on some light makeup, you slip into the gown.

Jungkook walked in wearing all black. He comes over to you and places his chin on your shoulder and wraps his arms around your waist. “Babygirl, when we arrive at this party you stay close to me.” He whispers in your ear. His icy fingers trace your nude back before zipping your dress up. “You look stunning, princess.” He turned you around and kissed you softly.

The party was held at a huge mansion outside the city. Jungkook held onto your hand and dragged you with him. It seemed like he was looking for someone. As you two walk hand in hand, you notice some of the men eyeing you down. One guy specifically caught your attention. You both were staring at each other. Jungkook was talking to someone and didn’t notice you looking at another man. You immediately stop and look down.

“Who’s your date, Mr. Jeon.” The stranger said, looking at me.

“She’s my wife. Mrs. Jeon.”

You’re his what? You gave him a strange look but as soon as you did he squeezed your hand, signalling you to play along.

“Well, I don't see a ring on her finger.” The man whom you were staring at moments ago was now standing in front of you. “O-oh I forgot it at home on the dresser.”

A sly smirk places on the man's face. He puts his hand out and introduces himself. “Byun Baekhyun, CEO of Byun Enterprise” you grab his hand but before you could shake it he kneeled and placed a soft kiss on your fingers.

Jungkook was squeezing your hand even harder. You quietly whimper and tug on his fingers with your other hand. He loosened his grip but his face showed clear frustration. Baekhyun walked away before Jungkook could punch him in the face. He excused you and himself from the stranger and dragged you into a room.

The man slammed the door shut and grabbed you by the neck. He pushed you against the mirror and started yelling at you. “Why the fuck were you looking at him like that?! Huh? Do you wanna go and be his slut?!”

“I’m not a slut! You cried out, trying to push him off of you. “Turn around.”

“No! I’m tired of being your sla-”

“FUCKING TURN AROUND.” You immediately turn around and keep your head down so you don’t have to look at him. The male pulled down your spandex along with your panties. “You know how I feel about other males being close to you..” he covered your mouth and thrust in. “Yet you still disobey me. And now you’re talking back to your daddy.”

He started to increase his pace as you sobbed into his hand. Your insides were bruised. Your walls were tired of clenching around him every night. Every time he touched you, your body weakened. He was able to do whatever he liked because you were too scared to leave him. “Why the fuck was he looking at you like that? Do you know him?” He pulled on your hair, forcing you to watch him fuck your guts outs.

“N-no, daddy. I-I’ve never met him before. I swear- ahh!” He pushed his whole cock in and the tip hit your g-spot. Jungkook’s hand intertwined with yours as he kissed your jawline. “You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”

“No daddy, never.” You said, finally being able to breathe.

He pulled out and tucked himself away then pulled your spandex up. “If I catch you making eye contact with another male, I will hurt you. Understand?”

“Yes, daddy. I understand.”

“Good girl.” He kissed you once again and pulled you back to the party. You guys both sat down at a table and waited for the event to start. People kept coming to your table to talk to Jungkook. A man asked if he could speak to him outside so Jungkook told you to keep your head down, don’t talk to anyone or don’t leave the table.

About five minutes later, Baekhyun sits next to you. “Are you having fun?” He asked, playful dancing. “Not really. This party’s pretty boring.” He nodded his head in agreement and stopped dancing. “Where’s your husband?”

“He’s outside talking to someone.” You look back to see if Jungkook's around. If he saw Baekhyun sitting next to you, he would lose his shit. Luckily he wasn’t. “Wait… are you guys really married?” Baekhyun asked, in confusion. “No, we’re not. I’m not sure why he said that.”

“So he lied?”

“Yeah.”

Baekhyun moved closer to you, making you a little uncomfortable. He was quick to notice and apologize.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. But I know what Jungkook’s been doing to you. If you want, I can help you escape him.”

“H-how do you know?”

“It’s kinda obvious, I guess. Especially since… you know… JK. He’s not the most gentle guy around and I’m sorry that you had to face him. Just trust me. I know I’m a stranger and all but you won’t be able to leave him without my help.”

“How do I leave him?”

“Now. While he’s talking to someone, ask if you can go to the washroom. I’ll meet you there and we can leave together. I’ll protect you. If you think Jungkook has a lot of guards, wait till you see my pack.” Of course, you hesitated. If Jungkook found out about this not only will you suffer for the rest of your life, but anyone around him would die.

“He’ll find me. I can’t do it.” You quietly say.

“Fine. I won’t force you. I’m just trying to help.” Baekhyun said while getting up. He left you alone at the table while you deeply thought about your decision. “Princess, what’s wrong.” It was Jungkook. He took a seat next to you and put his arm around you. “Nothing, just bored.”

“Thank you for being a good girl while I was gone. Do you want something to drink?”

“No thanks. Actually, can I go to the washroom?”

“Is it an emergency?”

You nodded your head.

“Go. Be quick. If you’re not back in five minutes, I won’t hesitate to fuck you in the stall.”

You quickly get up and head to the washroom. Baekhyun wasn’t there making you lose all hope. After all, you said no. You were about to walk into the bathroom until Baekhyun’s voice surprised you. “Changed your mind?”

“Yeah…”

“K, let's go.”

He grabbed your hand and pulled you to the back door. Two guards were waiting in front of a black car and they quickly opened the door when they saw you two. You all get in and they start to drive away. You did it! He’s out of your life now.

You look over at Baekhyun and thank him. “Thank you so much for helping me escape him… but I gotta ask, why did you help me?”

“I felt bad. A guy like him doesn’t deserve a woman like you.” You chuckle. “Are you done flirting?”

“Not yet.” He smiled at you then started talking again. “So what’s the real deal between you and him?”

“Contract. Made me sign it a year ago. He was nice until we landed in Paris. Then he became someone else.”

“I guess Jungkook hasn’t opened up to you. He used to live in Paris when he was younger. He suffered a lot because of his parents. They abused him. They forced him to participate in killing people at such a young age. That’s why JK has been out. His parents are still around but he lost contact with them after becoming an adult. He’s out for revenge.”

“He’s been killing people?” Baekhyun nodded. “I mean, he came home with blood on him the other day. But I didn’t question him.”

“It’s good that you didn’t. The slightest things set him off.” You hum in response and look out the window. “So, where are we going?”

“Back to my house. You’ll be safe there. We have plenty of guest rooms and I can lend you some of my clothes. But we’ll have to leave Paris as soon as possible because Jungkook is probably looking for us.”

Jungkook’s POV

———————-

Y/N left for the washroom while my eyes searched for Baekhyun. I had to make sure that she wasn’t with him. I released my breath as I saw him talking to another guy.

“Jungkook? Is that you?” I turn around to see my old friend, Kim Taehyung.

He hugged me and showed me his bright smile. “Taehyung! Nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too! How’s JK doing?”

“He’s calmed down, I suppose. What about V?”

“He’s hanging in there.”

This is why Taehyung and I get along so well. We both have another personality that fears absolutely nothing. He teaches me how to control my other side. I teach him my torture methods. It’s a win-win. He and Y/N are the two positives in my life.

We continued our conversation until a guard ran over to us, informing me that Y/N was gone.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s gone?”

“She’s not in the bathroom. We checked the cameras and she left with another man. They used the back door so we didn’t see her.”

I took my gun out and aimed it at the guards head. “You have one fucking job and it’s to protect my girl.” Taehyung snatched the gun out of my hand and questioned the guards. “Who did she leave with?”

“Byun Baekhyun.”

“I’m going to kill that motherfucker.”

“We can, but we have to get out of here first. Do you have Y/N’s location?” Taehyung asked me.

“No, I don't. She doesn’t have a phone because she’s always with me.”

“Calm down, Kook. We can track down Baekhyun.”

Your POV

—————

You stepped out of the shower with a white towel wrapped around your body. You were finally able to clean yourself properly since Jungkook’s been the one bathing you. And by bathing, you mean having more sex in the shower.

“Baekhyun, I need clothes.” A couple of seconds later someone knocked on the door. “Here’s my shirt and sweatpants.” You quickly open the door and take it from him. “Thank you.” You could deal with no underwear for one night. It wasn’t a big deal. At least you were away from Jungkook.

You put the clothes on then leave his bathroom. “Thank you again for everything.”

“Stop thanking me. It’s lame.” He laid down on his bed and patted the space next to him. “Let’s watch a movie. Maybe it’ll distract you.” You climb onto his bed and lay down next to him.

“You hungry, peanut?” You giggle at the nickname. “No, I’m not hungry.” You felt safe with him. It was an unexplainable feeling. Baekhyun slightly turned to you and wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close. You wrap your arms around his neck and continue watching the movie. When you looked at Baekhyun he was staring at you. “What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?”

“There is.” He gave you a quick peck then went back to watching the movie. “Heyyyy, what was that for?”

“No reason. You’re just so pretty.”

The cute moment ended when one of the guards slammed the door open and yelled that they were under attack. He was immediately shot in the head after he said so. You both get off the bed and Baekhyun takes his gun out. “Go hide in the closet. I’ll come and get you after I’m done, okay.” He kissed you one more time before leaving the bedroom.

You run into his closet and hide under his clothes. You were hiding for about ten minutes when you heard the closet door open. “Princess? Where are you? Daddy came to save you.” His voice sent chills down your spine. You held your breath and didn’t move a muscle. “Come out or I’ll kill your precious Baekhyun.”

“Did you find her Jungkook?” Another man with a much deeper voice spoke. “No, I haven’t.” You released your breath as quietly as you can. “I’ll go question Baekhyun then.”

“No, no. That won’t be necessary.”

Jungkook started to dig around the pile of clothes you were hiding in and pulled you out. “Noooo! Stop, please! Let me go!” You scream and try to crawl away but Jungkook pinned you down and the other man put a cloth over your mouth and nose.

Jungkook’s POV

———————-

I carried her to the car and laid her down on the backseat. I go back into the mansion only to hear that Baekhyun had escaped. “Sir, we had him here but his guards must have set him free.” I close my eyes in annoyance. “You’ve failed two times in one day. Find him or I’ll cut your body up and feed it to my dogs.”

“Y-yes, sir.”

I walk towards Taehyung and he pats my back. “We’ll catch him next time.”

“If we don’t, I’ll kill every person in sight.”

“Relax, JK. At least you got your girlfriend back.”

“You mean my slut? I have to teach her a lesson.”

“Mind if I join?”

“Next time, V. I need her to myself tonight.”

Your POV

—————

“Get the fuck up. We’re here.”

You open your eyes and see that you’ve arrived at the penthouse. “J-Jungkook, p-please let me explain.” He yanked you out of the car making you fall onto your knees. “Owww.’’ You sob, bringing your hands on your knees to massage it.

He didn’t care about anything at this point. You did this to yourself. If you behaved, maybe you would’ve been at the Eiffel Tower, enjoying the view with him. But no. You left him for another man and now you have to pay for it.

Jungkook carried you up to the penthouse and pushed you in before slamming the door shut. He grabbed your throat and slammed you against the wall. You were forced to look into his dark orbs. “Did you enjoy his dick, you little slut?”

“P-please no! Daddy n-no! Y-you got it all wr-wrong, I-” You were crying so hard, you weren’t able to finish your sentence.“Let me show you what I can do to you for the rest of your life” he removed his belt and pushed you on the floor. He pulled your pants down just to see no underwear. “You little whore! Where’s your underwear?” He spanked your ass with his belt over and over and didn’t stop until he saw small cuts on your cheeks.

“Jungkook! please I didn’t” before you could finish your sentence a hard slap landed on your cheek. “Wrong fucking name, princess.” Tears rushed down your hot cheeks. You didn’t want this. You wouldn’t be able to handle the pain. You get back to your senses and run for the door. “Not so fast, baby girl. We haven’t even gotten started.”

JK dragged you to the bedroom, shoved you down onto the bed and started tying your wrist to the bed frame. “You know, I was planning on being gentle with you tonight… but fuck that.”

He placed his fingers into your mouth and made you suck on them while he ripped your shirt off. JK placed you on your stomach then pushed his tip into the wrong hole, making you scream at the top of your lungs. “Noooo! Please! No!” You squirm underneath him, begging him to stop. He pushed his whole cock in so you screamed and cried into a pillow. He groaned in satisfaction. Your ass was much tighter than your pussy. Not caring about your pleasure, he brutally pounded you. Your whole body started to shut down as you felt hopeless. All you could do was cry.

The man pulled on your hair and licked your tears away. “If you wanted a punishment, you could’ve just asked, princess.”

His nails dug into your skin, putting you in even more pain. His thrust was unbearable. He would pull out until only his tip was buried in you, then slam his whole cock in, knocking the breath out of you. Your hole was aching around him. “P-please, j-just slow- oww!” You cried, giving up on your sentence.

He used your ass for hours. His cum was filled to the brim of your hole. He pulled out, laid down behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. The male took out a gun and shot at the wall. You sob and move back into his embrace, shaking even harder. “See what you did there? You came back to me. You came back into my embrace, wanting me to protect you. Let me tell you something. It will always be like this. You will always come back to me. Into my arms. You belong to me.” He laid his head on yours and slowed down. “Am I right?” He whispers in your ear. “Y-yes daddy. I want chu to protect me. Pwease don’t hurt me. Pwease.”

He rubbed his cheek against yours then went back to thrusting. “We’re gonna get married, right babygirl?” You hide your face and cry your heart out. How could you marry him? “Answer me!” He yelled into your ear. “Y-yes daddy, w-we’ll get married. We’ll get m-married and I’ll be all y-yours forever.” Jungkook held you down and kept thrusting. You quiet down after some hours and let him use you. You kept cumming on him over and over. There was a pool of cum on the bedsheets.

You couldn’t possibly do anything to save yourself so the best thing to do was to obey. He kept you under him the whole time and didn’t give you a break. You insides were being wrecked by his cock. He had a tight hold on you, so you couldn’t escape him.

“Are you sleeping on me, princess?”

“N-no, daddy. I don’t have the energy to talk.”

He flipped you onto your back and started aggressively slamming his cock into you again and again. He held onto your neck and spat into your mouth. “Tell me exactly what happened at Baekhyun’s house.”

“H-he let me shower and gave me his clothes to wear. Then we started to watch a movie and that's it.”

“Did you fuck him?”

“No daddy. M-my body belongs to you.”

“Damn right it does. Get on all fours.” You slowly flip yourself onto your stomach and try your best to keep yourself up. He plunged himself into your ass once again and started thrusting at an inhuman speed. You held onto the bedsheets but the pain was still there. You collapse on the bed, not being able to hold yourself up anymore. But this didn’t stop Jungkook. He only went faster, showing you who’s in control. His hips smacked against your ass repeatedly.

You started losing all your senses. You shake around him as you push through your orgasm. You sharply inhale and clench your sore muscles as hard as you can. Waves of pleasure and pain push through your body and as soon as it reaches the bottom, you release. Your muscles relax as your cum drips down your slit. You try to catch your breath but the man behind you pulls out of your ass and slams into your wet pussy.

“Come on princess. Do that one more time for me.”

“Noooo!” You screamed out. You couldn’t do that again. “Daddy.. can’t! Daddyyyy!” He went harder and faster, indicating that he’s close. You clench around him one more time, sending him over the edge. His hot cum rushed deep inside you. “Fuck, princess. Just like that!” He hissed. He pulled you onto his lap and pushed you to have another orgasm. All you could see is white. All you could hear is his skin slapping against yours.

Tingles travel throughout your body as you clench all your muscles again. Jungkook held you tightly and gave you a final thrust that sent you over the moon. “Daddy!” You sob, holding onto him like your life depended on it. Your cum coated his cock one more time. “I-is it over? Are y-you done?” You sniffle and keep your eyes closed. Jungkook lays down with you in his arms. “It’s over.” He kissed your forehead and rubbed your back to soothe you.

You cry into his neck even harder. “Please… I want the old you back.”

“You want Jungkook?” He asked, suddenly looking a little hurt. “Y-yeah.”

“I’m sorry, I took him away from you. I just wanted to feel what he was feeling.”

“What was he feeling?”

“Loved… if you want, I can give you him.”

“Wait no.” You said, suddenly feeling bad. “I-I can love you too.” You rub your nose against his and feel all warm inside. You kissed him softly on the lips while your fingers moved his damped hair out of his face. You lay back down on his chest with your fingers still tangled in his hair. “Please love me back.” You mumble.

“I already do.”

#jk smut #non con #bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #yandere bts #bts yandere #bts reaction

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princesscandijane · 3 years

Text

Chastity Tips by Candi Jane

These tips are coming from the perspective of a sissy(me😀), these things still help without the sissy element.

I have been hearing sissys keep saying that you want to do long term chastity, but are too weak. I am hearing about how you want to feel helplessly desperate and horny. But as you get too horny and before you reach helplessly desperate you grab the key, unlock your little clitty, and jerk off. Then you have to start the process all over. Ideally you would have a keyholder, someone that forces you to keep honest, but most of us are not fortunate enough to have one. So here are some things that may help. Notice how I always use the plural for keys? Chastity devices come with more than one key, so make sure you are keeping them all together😁

Mail your keys to yourself:

Pretty self explanatory, take a self-addressed envelope, put a stamp on it, seal your keys in the envelope and mail it away. This is a great one to get the keys completely out of your possession and away from you for a period of time.

Though I recommend at least using your real address so the keys get back to you 😜

Depending on how the mail runs in your area this could be a 2-5 day event, for the cost of an envelope and a forever stamp. If you mail it on Saturday night after pickup, the mail will not get picked up until as early as Monday, so that is an extra 36 hours. There are also holidays to consider in which the mail doesn’t run, so if you mailed your keys after pickup on Saturday of Labor Day weekend, the earliest the mail will pick up your keys will be Tuesday. By that point you will have already had almost 3 days of chastity, add that to how well the mail is in your area, you may end up in a week in chastity! That is not even mentioning mailing during the holiday season when the mail is at its busiest, at that point you may be hoping that the keys did not get lost in the mail 😬 Which is one downside to consider when mailing. How well do you trust your postal service? Sometimes things do get lost in the mail 🤷‍♀️

Freezing your keys:

This one does require you to have a fridge/freezer that you can use to freeze your keys. This one is a bit difficult to do if you share your fridge/freezer. Unlike mailing the keys to yourself, the keys will be with you, so there does require a little bit more restraint, but this can be a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun experimenting with this one, a proper sissy school girl doing proper sissy science 😚 So first and foremost don’t do what I did first and use a glass bottle. I first tried putting the keys in an old glass liquor bottle. That was a horrible idea

DO NOT USE A GLASS CONTAINER

As I learned, as water freezes it freezes from the outside in and expands which makes the frozen water less dense than the liquid water which is why ice floats. I also learned that it is a really strong force and will break the glass, as I learned when the bottle neck broke in my hand and crashed to the floor 😨 I was not injured😅

So next I used a plastic gallon jug, which has a couple of pluses. First and foremost it will not break into harmful pieces(at worst crack open), and second a gallon is more than twice as large of volume as the normal 1.75L that the large liquor bottle has (3.785 liters = 1 gallon) so it will take longer to defrost. Second mistake I made was dropping the keys in the bottom to freeze.

As everything melts from the outside in, this would be the first to defrost and makes the size of the container mostly obsolete. Solution: I tied the keys to a string, lowered it down until it was halfway in the container and taped the string to the jug.

Do not fill it to the top, remember water expands as it freezes so be sure to give it room. Freezing takes about 24 hours. I recommend checking in on it periodically, because ice freezes from the outside in and you will see your keys floating surrounded by its ice prison, and if needed you can add more water.

The first time I froze the keys in the gallon jug(keys at the bottom), I checked how long it took to defrost at 74F in the shade, and it took less than 8 hours. Those that are familiar with cooking meats, know that ideally you wouldn’t defrost at room temperature, but allow it to defrost in the refrigerator. After 24 hours of freezing I put the jug in the refrigerator. Following times are based on my fridge being set at the factory recommended coolness.

After a day the water on the outside has melted, so if my keys were at the bottom I would be able to pour them out at this point.

After 3 days the ice has defrosted enough in which I can now start to see the keys trapped in its frozen prison

Every day I see a bit more ice thawed, slowly and slowly seeing my keys becoming closer and closer to freedom

Finally after 7 days I see my keys floating freely in liquid water

Only one problem

The ice above is not thawed enough to let me pull the string out 😫 So I put it back in the fridge, and five hours later my keys were free!

From freezing to thawing was just over 8 days of chastity.

So the numbers I have for a gallon jug of water is: freezing - 1 day, thawing at 74F in shade ~ 8 hours, thawing in the fridge ~ 173 hours.

During this time you can start focusing on doing important things. At the longest it is 8 days, and that is plenty of time to accomplish things. Many sissys have maid fantasies, well use that time to clean your home, not just a little clean, but really deep clean your house(bonus if you have a uniform). Imagine your mistress/master will be inspecting it later. Ask yourself, “Would I want to serve someone that accepts this kind of work?” or “If I paid a couple hundred dollars for cleaning service, would I be satisfied?” whichever🙃 As you are locked up and cannot jerk off, you can start practicing on your blowjob and anal skills. Use this time to learn to deep throat, or work towards that ever elusive sissygasm. Set goals at the beginning of things that should be done by the time the keys are defrosted.

Because the keys take 8 hours to defrost at room temperature, certain tasks can equal x amount of time out of the fridge. Such as if you are practicing your deep throat skills, every time your nose touches the wall/floor equals five minutes out of the fridge. 8 hours would be roughly 100 times, or even for every second your nose to the wall/floor is five minutes. That gives over a minute and a half total of your throat being filled 😄 Cleaning your home can work in similar point systems too. Each chore is x amount of points, some may be more than others, as cleaning the bathroom takes a lot more than doing laundry(unless you are washing by hand). They don’t have to be sissy/sub tasks. You can make some of them for your better wellbeing. Such as, maybe you are someone that needs some motivation to get in shape. Have each mile jogged/walked/run can equal half an hour. Or can go simple and for the amount of time you spent working out is the amount of time spent out of the fridge. The plus side is you can work on your sissy figure and improve your regular quality of life 😁 These goals can really be for anything that you may need to work better on yourself, like reading more(yes I am talking to you), learn/practice a new language, learn/practice an instrument, even things that will help improve your career(insert your own examples lol). These are only a few examples. But make some tasks/goal(what needs to be accomplished) and rules(the rewards of completing a task and punishment for failing). Simple punishment is it goes back in the freezer. Remember to make sure your tasks/goals are realistic, and don’t try to tackle too many things at once. So often people get this huge motivation and think of all of these things they are going to do, but then when things aren’t working out the way they planned they give up. Schedules get made and when we can’t maintain them we give up. That is how those 10 dollar gyms are successful, their pay plan only works when the majority rarely/never show up. So if you set a really high goal that is unrealistic, say from never exploring anal to wanting to take Captain Ameica’s cock(see Chris Even’s cock) in that time period, maybe unrealstic. Or spending an hour a day working on your blowjob skills. Or the working out goal, you plan to run 2 miles every day, or every other day. That sounds great in theory, but if we fail to meet it we have a tendency to give up. You start out good for a day or two, then on day three you make an excuse on why you cannot and by day 5 you feel your goal is too far out of reach and give up. If that is the case, then adjust your goal and the tasks along with it, the first one may have been too ambitious. So if your goal/task is too difficult, instead of giving up on it, adjust it. Maybe I should be a Sissy Life Coach lol 🙃 Make the goals realistic, try to better yourself as either a sissy or even in your regular life. These are just some of my ideas on this.

I say this as doing this by yourself, but this is something that can be done in a keyholder relationship. And the keyholder can devise the tasks that serve them best.

Freewill:

Now freezing does take some freewill, there are plenty of ways to cheat, and get around things. It isn’t instant, but still freewill is required. Freewill doesn’t require you to freeze or mail or anything. So this last tip I have is: try to get better than the last time. I say this over and over, but remember baby steps. I did not go from buying my first chastity to 60+ 24/7 consecutive days. It took time and practice. I went an hour, then maybe two hours. If I got too horny or it got too painful, I would take it off. The next time I would try to go longer. My first attempt to sleep in chastity I gave up not even halfway through the night, it became too uncomfortable. I worked my way from there, now I prefer to sleep in chastity. So each time try to get better than the last, and if you fail, unlock and jerk off, or if you complete the time and are rewarded with unlocking yourself, well that’s a perfect time to work on becoming a cum eater 😛(again baby steps). If you always lose the urge after, then try to push yourself to at least bring some of it to your face, after that push yourself to taste just a little, and then go from there until you are eating it all 🤤 It may take some months but keep working at it😀

Have fun and drink cum ❤❤❤

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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years

Photo

you’re the one that i want (part 11)

word count: 5k

angst, fluff, smut

(part 10) (series masterlist)

tag list: @chogiout ; @seonghwaslut ; @psshwa ; @yeocult ; @seongghwaa ; @cherryeonii ; @chaoticbanqtan ; @8teenee ; @nczenniez ; @atinyarmyx1 ; @mingtopiaa ; @chubsluda ; @joongiebug ; @mochibabycakes ; @jisungity ; @skz-on-my-mind ; @nlost21 ; @myonlyaurora ; @closer-stars ; @kuaenam3g ; @byungaji ; @floweryjh ; @joeycheungg ; @lostscenarios ; @atinyxtopia ; @sanisms ; @kpopnightingale ; @simpforhyunjin ; @89staytinyzen21 ;

some days felt as if your time was never gonna end.

that you and seonghwa were meant to stay in this perfect little beach town forever, lay on the sand and frolic in the waves and eat so much at the tiny little diner that you never got sick of.

but then other days, the sad days, felt as if they were a ticking time bomb.

just waiting until the clock struck midnight or the countdown got to zero and everything was gonna be taken away from you. feelings of happiness and love and excitement replaced with the sad, mundane existence you'd been surviving before.

it only took one look from seonghwa and a hard kiss on the lips to rip those thoughts away, his lowly mumbled "i'm here," always the thing to ground you. to remind you that you and him are still together and wasting time thinking about the last day of august would only serve to make you upset.

because you guys still had some time and each day left you happier and happier.

august 6th:

"this shit is rigged too!"

"okay yeah but like it actually is. you just suck at corn hole."

"well you're a short little fuck."

you turn your face into seonghwa's arm to muffle your laughter, hearing hongjoong's voice yelling at yunho shortly followed by the sounds of smacking and hitting.

you and seonghwa had been at the fair with his friends since this afternoon, dragging the boys on every single ride they all insisted they didn't wanna go on. but once they were there, conquered their fears after just one because you knew they were all scared of heights, you had created a monster out of them.

and it was great for you, bouncing along happily with them but seonghwa had been less than amused. not wanting to get dizzy on the rides or wait on the lines but you always somehow managed to catch him at the right time. throw a smile his way or raise an eyebrow playfully that made all of this fair nonsense seem worth it to him.

but after hours of it, he just wanted you to himself now. wanted to end the day alone with you, on a mini date that he thinks you both deserve after today with his loud, annoying friends.

so after goodbyes and jongho's pouting plea to not leave him with the fighting boys, you both walk out the exit and two blocks away to your favorite ice cream place.

it's only opened during the summer and you've been going for years with your aunt, the only place you've ever had with homemade ice cream that tastes a lot better than store bought.

"that was a nice day," you tell seonghwa, bumping his arm as you two walk down the street. he looks over at you with his eyebrow raised and you smile teasingly at him, poking at his side.

"c'mon, they’re fun."

"they're something," seonghwa grumbles and you giggle softly, the sound causing him to tighten his hold on your hand. his presses a kiss to your head as you two clumsily walk, his deep "i would've rather been with you," causing you to blush.

"you were with me," you reason sweetly, his eyes rolling because you both know that's not what he meant. he opens the door to the ice cream shop and you thank him quietly, walking up to the counter before ordering a strawberry cone; seonghwa gets chocolate and pays for you both before you can even try.

you leave the store with a huff, licking at your ice cream as you both take a seat on the bench outside. "i've never paid for anything, seonghwa," you whine to him, "i feel like a free loader."

he rolls his eyes and flicks your nose gently, a gasp leaving your mouth as you think about shoving your ice cream in his face.

but one look from him tells you that would be a very bad idea, instead choosing to stick your finger in your cone and dab his nose. but that proved to even be too much for the boy, doing it right back. you push him away with a giggle and he rolls his eyes because "you started it.”

you lick at your ice cream with a smile, ignoring the way seonghwa watches. it's why you bite down on the pink coldness, watching him smirk as he shakes his head at you.

"you also have paid for something," he says after he finishes his chocolate cone, standing up to throw it in the garbage a few feet away. your eyebrows pull together as you try to think about a time you managed to slip money or your card to a waitress or cashier; but you never have.

"what did i pay for?" you question when he sits back down, licking quickly as the pink cream starts to melt down your hand. "i think you're lying, i never did."

"you did," he says with a small smirk, watching your face flare with frustration as you smack his arm lightly.

"well are you gonna tell me!"

he leans in closer to you and you can smell the chocolate lingering on his breath, his tongue flicking out to lick your strawberry cone. your eyes fall to his tongue but you can only raise an eyebrow at the challenging look in his eyes.

"not if you're a brat."

you bite down on your lip so you don't smirk, shrugging your shoulders as you offer him the rest of your ice cream. he shakes his head and takes it from your hand, grimacing at the stickiness on your skin before throwing it away.

he goes back into the store to grab a few napkins, dabbing at your hand before holding his out to you.

"did you...clean my hand so you could hold it?" you ask him in bewilderment. a chuckle leaves his mouth as he shakes his head, pulling you up roughly so you slam into his body.

"i cleaned your hand because you're a mess, baby," he says lowly, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear that he's shocked doesn't also have ice cream on it.

your lips fall into a pout and he smiles down at you in a way that immediately makes you smile, bringing you closer so he can place a soft kiss to your hair. you sigh happily against him, inhaling the scent of his faded cologne mixed with sweat before you pull back to look up at him.

"what did i pay for?"

your sweet voice usually makes him crack immediately but he finds himself wanting to resist tonight, even though he'd love to see you get as flustered and embarrassed as you did the night you bought him that little turtle statue.

so he presses another kiss to your forehead before pecking your nose that still lingers with the taste of chocolate until he finally meets your lips. you kiss back despite his cryptic nonresponse, the mingling taste of chocolate and strawberry all too appetizing.

you wanna taste it on his tongue but you're reminded of the fact that you're in front of an ice cream place that more often than not is swarming with children. and you're not about to subject them all to watching a heated make out session because you like the taste of chocolate on seonghwa's lips.

so you pull back and his eyes pop open, dark and frustrated and almost in disbelief you broke it off before he could taste you.

"you don't tell. we won't kiss," you say matter of factly, raising your eyebrows teasingly before turning around and waltzing down the block proudly. but it's all too sassy and bratty for him, licking over his lips as he watches you with a smirk.

he follows after and quickly grabs you, spinning you around before taking your face in his hand.

"now you know very well that's not happening."

august 12th:

you came to find out rather quickly that the first place you and seonghwa had a conversation was not a good make out spot.

because when he laid you down, a sharp rock dug into your shoulder and another one hit the back of your neck, shooting up with a yelp and just barely missing seonghwa's face. the two of you laughed at what a mess the attempt was before going back down to your damp towel laid out on the sand.

you had gone for another night swim before you two made your way up there, allowing yourselves to dry in the midnight air of the quiet, empty beach. you watched the waves as you snuggled up under his arm, his soft content hum the only thing in your ear.

no one was around since it was almost one a.m and that was a good thing, given the way seonghwa's now on his back and you're straddling his hips.

because ever since the night you lost your virginity, it's been hard to stay away from him. innocent kisses turned into steamy, hour long sessions where you see just how much you and seonghwa might've been meant for each other.

it seemed crazy since you only knew him for two months but the two of you just...fit and worked well together. every instinct you've had while exploring this part of the relationship so natural and easy and comfortable.

you were able to let yourself go and not feel nervous, know that he's watching you and guiding you and would never hurt you; even if he really does look and sound intense sometimes.

"fuck, baby, just like that," his deep voice grunts out, both of you throwing all caution to the wind the second you sink down on him.

you found within these past few weeks that you like being on top.

you didn't think you would, being so exposed and having his eyes right on you; but that's exactly what you loved about it. looking down at him after you throw your head back and bounce on his cock. his hands squeezing at your hips and ass as his hips thrust up into you.

you cover his body with yours so you can moan into his neck, bouncing and rocking on him as he latches onto your skin and sucks his markings into you.

you both come in unison, your whine of his name and his deep groan just like quiet breaths between you. the way he covers your body still on top of him with a towel and pats your hair down, attempting to catch his breath because he can't believe the orgasms he has with you.

he's had sex more times than he cares to admit and yet it's never been like this with anyone. he's never just so freely given himself to anyone, completely put his attention into someone and felt such a strong pull toward them. felt his heart and chest tug in a way that makes him feel a love he never thought he'd feel before.

never thought he'd say to a person just for the sake of letting them know.

because when he walks you to your front door and presses a kiss to your lips, it's like he needs to tell you. it feels like he shouldn't, given the limited amount time you have left together, but it also feels like you need to know because of that.

because he can't go another second without you knowing.

"are you sure you can't come up?" you pout at him, tightening your hold on his hands and pressing up on your toes to kiss his cheek. "i wanna fall asleep next to you."

the girl you were two months ago would've never dreamed of saying that to anyone but especially someone like him. something so honest and bold that's straight from your heart to a man like him; not even his looks but his entire demeanor.

"i don't know, i told the guys i'd pick them up."

the three drunken musketeers were at a house party a few blocks away, something about picturing them stumbling through the dark streets unsettling seonghwa. and you suppose you understood, seeing first hand how crazy those three can get together.

"okay," you say quietly, not being able to help the pout on your face. he sighs upon seeing it, bringing his hand to your chin and swiping his finger across your bottom lip.

"don't do that."

you narrow your eyes at his tone and he only smirks, bringing your face closer so he can kiss you.

it's a sweet chaste kiss that leaves your stomach fluttering like it did those first few weeks of knowing him, when everything was new and scary and you didn't know what to make of the quiet, standoffish boy.

but now it seems as if you know everything about him. his quirks and facial expressions and everything that makes you feel like you love him. but that would be crazy, right? to feel like you love him. to love someone after just two months.

but it'd been the best two months of your life and you'd never been this happy before. you never thought-

"y/n."

you hear him mumble your name against your lips and pull back, cocking your head to the side as you look up at him with soft, questioning eyes and puffy, red lips. your neck is covered in his bites and you just look so pretty he can only ever think of you as angelic.

he's never confessed to anyone before and he thinks he should probably feel more nervous. but he doesn't, he just looks down at you and says what he's been thinking for the past two hours, been thinking for these past few weeks as he felt himself getting more and more absorbed in you.

"i think i love you."

your eyes widen and your heart jumps in your chest because that was the absolute last thing you were expecting him to say; you don't know if anyone's ever said those words to you before and it immediately makes tears prick your eyes.

you swallow down the lump forming in your throat as you look at him, your eyes roaming his face carefully but seeing nothing but sincerity and softness you've grown so used to.

"wh-what?"

it's probably not what he expects to hear after the confession but he doesn't miss a beat either, stepping closer to you as his thumb caress your face.

"you don't have to say anything," he tells you, voice dropped into his sweet softer tone he only uses sometimes; because when he does use it, it's in vulnerable moments like this. where it's just the two of you and he can't gauge if you're about to cry or not. where he needs to make sure you're feeling okay and let you know that he's here. "i just thought you should know."

"that- you love me?"

he'd laugh if it were any other circumstance, if tears weren't in your eyes and you didn't look so fucking terrified; the thought crosses his mind that this is may be the first time you're hearing these words from someone and that fact alone breaks his heart and makes anger flood through his veins.

"yes, baby," he says, his eyes soft and light but voice holding the slightest hint of amusement. "i love you."

you only stare at one another after that, words clogged in your throat as your mind and heart race.

what do you say? why aren't you saying anything? and why is he still looking at you like that? he raises an eyebrow almost teasingly before bending down to kiss your nose, quietly telling you that he should get going and he'll see you tomorrow.

but before he can walk three steps, you pull him back and look up at him with wide pleading eyes.

"please come back," you find yourself saying, voice quiet and shaky as you try to control your ragged breathing. "walk them home and make sure they're safe. but...please, just come back. i'll leave my door open."

he turns his head as he looks over you, so sweet and quiet as you look at him pleadingly and that's all he needs to say yes.

"i'll be thirty minutes at most, okay?" you nod your head and smile softly, welcoming the kiss he places on your head before you watch him walk down the street and get into his car.

you plop down in bed, your mind racing despite the exhaustion hitting your body as you think over his words. and it only takes you a few moments for you to come to your senses and gather your feelings, the warmth in your chest and fluttering of your stomach making everything clear as day.

that the weeks you spent getting to know him and building this relationship with him was gonna lead to this moment. because you knew you'd probably fall in love with him, you're starved of affection and love and always wanted so badly to be taken care of.

and you found that in him. but you never could've dreamed that he'd feel the same way, that your twisted little fantasy would end up being so real and so intense.

your eyes are heavy and you feel sleep about to consume you when the balcony door opens, seonghwa's familiar footsteps calming you before you feel the bed dip and his arms wrap around you.

"i'm here, baby," he mumbles in your ear, a tired whine leaving your mouth as you turn around and rest your head on his chest.

he plays with the ends of your hair as he allows himself to melt into your bed, smiling when you mumble out if the boys were okay. he nods his head and tells you not to worry, that they're passed out face down in yunho bed's right now and will be just fine when they wake up.

you feel yourself smile lazily before burying your face in his chest some more, inhaling his scent and resting your arm on his stomach as you let your drowsiness take over. but right before you go, you can't help the way you call out seonghwa's name; you don't even know if he's awake but you have to tell him this now.

you hear his questioning hum and leave your eyes closed, moving your head up ever so slightly so your mouth is right by his ear.

"i think...i think i love you, too."

august 17th:

you thought the confessions of love would make you feel better. that you'd be happy and fluttery and thoroughly enjoy your last few days of vacation.

but if anything, that night had only reminded you that your time was coming.

that in just four days, your parents were coming and taking you home; no, not even home, to a new house you've never even seen, where you're gonna have to completely rebuild your life.

start at a new school with new social hierarchies and people who will look at the freaky new girl like you're some spectacle.

you'll deal with another year of having no friends and being alone, sometimes going days without using your voice before a blowout fight in your house has you weeping out pathetic apologies or pleas to stop.

but the worst part of it all is that you'll be without seonghwa.

you're gonna leave him and he's gonna leave you and the one person to ever love you is gonna be god knows where; you might even have a time difference to deal with or he might not even wanna keep in contact with you.

he knows immediately that you're off.

knew this morning when, after telling you he was gonna come get you so you all could go the beach, said you didn't feel like going today. that you were gonna help your aunt prepare things around the house and that you'd meet up with him later.

but when he hadn't heard from you all day, his texts going unread until night fall, he'd had enough.

a knock on your balcony door pulled you from your depressing thoughts, your stomach sinking when you see seonghwa leant against the rail of your balcony. his jaw was set and his arms were crossed and you could feel the tension radiating off of him just by looking through the window.

you swallowed down the lump in your throat and begged your pricking eyes not to cry, opening the door and sitting silently on the couch. you don't say a word for the first few minues, only fold your hands and stare down at them as you feel his eyes on you.

you don't know how long you’re both there in the silence until his feet start moving toward you, his tall frame bending down as he kneels in front of you. his hands rest on your knees and you look at the black rings adorning his fingers, biting down on your lip as you try to focus on the way they fit around his delicate skin.

but it proves useless because his hand grabs your face and makes you look at him, his darkened eyes softening the second he sees yours.

"you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

your lips tremble and you know he catches it because his eyes move right to your mouth but you still shake your head and give him a fake smile, your lips quirking in a way that makes his stomach sink.

"what do you mean?" you question quietly. "nothing's wrong."

"baby..."

you bite the inside of your cheek and drop your gaze, blinking away the tears as you shake your head. "nothing's wrong, seonghwa, i was just busy today helping my aunt."

he licks at his lips hearing the lie fall from your lips, popping his neck to the side before his eyes roam your dejected figure.

"then why aren't you looking at me?"

you can't say the truth so you don't say anything, simply shrug your shoulders and pray he buys it even though you know he won't. he lets you both sit in silence for a few more moments, hoping it'll give you time to think and him to calm down before he asks you to look at him again.

and when your head doesn't move, your whole body, really, staying stiff and rigid as tears come to your eyes, that's when he loses it.

"fucking look at me, y/n."

they raise to him immediately and when they do, his heart sinks because tears are in your eyes and you're shaking your head as you stare at him. but the look in his eyes just makes the tears break free and roll down your face, immediately hiding in your hands because how are you gonna leave him?

"i'm sorry."

he rises to his feet and sits next to you on the couch, pulling your body into his and exhaling sharply when you barrel into his body and hide your face in his chest. you hold onto him like you're gonna disappear forever if you don't, your cries just like the ones that broke his heart the day your parents visited.

his lips rest on your head as he hushes you and begs for you to stop crying.

"i don't wanna leave you," you whimper out quietly and the words hurt his chest because it makes it seem like you both have a choice. "i don't want you to go. i don't want us to..."

you can't say break up because you're not together but that's what it feels like. what you imagine separating from someone you've fallen in love with feels like.

he shushes you again and tightens his hold on you, rocking your body back and forth slightly as he tries to calm your cries. he rubs your back slowly and just keeps mumbling against your head.

"i'm here, baby. i'm right here."

"but you won't be," you cry out, pulling your face away as you look at him with watery eyes and a red, tear-stained face. "we have to leave soon seonghwa. we-we have to leave and i'll never hear from you again and you're gonna forget all about me because-"

"why do you keep saying that?" he growls, his eyebrows furrowed as he takes your face in his hands and dabs at your cheeks. "how do you think i could possibly forget you?"

"it's just gonna happen, it always happens. people stop talking and then they eventually forget and-"

"why are we gonna stop talking?" he asks, his voice hard and gruff as he tightens his hold on your face. "i don't give a fuck about what other people do. we're not them."

you press your lips together and look at him through your teary eyes, your lower lip wobbling because you have nothing to say back to that and feel a flood of different emotions going through you right now.

and when he sees that, the sadness and confusion in your eyes, he gently runs his thumbs over your face and presses a kiss to your cheek.

"why are you thinking like that when we still have time? we had all day today baby and you avoided me. that's how people stop talking and forget, when they stay trapped in their heads."

you swallow down the lump in your throat as you listen to his words, his eyes dark and intense as they bore into you. you feel more tears gather and threatening to spill, listening to him let out a sigh before pulling you into him.

he's grateful you're not sobbing, but just softly crying as he rocks you and strokes your hair.

"we're gonna figure it out baby but for now, i need you with me. i'm here with you. we're both here and we have time left together."

you stay planted against his shirt until your tears stop falling, nodding your head against him and feeling your face flush with embarrassment. you hadn't meant to avoid him all day but you were just so sad when you realized how many days you had left.

"i know it's hard baby and i'm not mad at you," he says again when he sees guilt and shame in your eyes. "but i'm here. how many times did i have to say it, pretty girl," he hums lowly, his hand running softly through your hair as his tone is laced with slight amusement.

and you don't feel very pretty with your face wet and puffy but the comment still makes you blush, wiping at your tears with your hands and hearing him chuckle when your lips pull into a grimace.

"i'm sorry," you say, dropping your eyes in a way that makes him growl. he pulls you closer to him and onto his lap, a tiny squeal leaving you as he takes your face in his hand and forces you to look at him.

"you should be," he growls in your ear, wanting to see a smile on your face after not seeing you all day. "you forced me to spend the whole fucking day with jongho and hongjoong when i could've been with you."

a small, breathy giggle leaves you as you pout at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you remind him they’re his best friends.

"but i don’t know if i like them as much as you," he says quietly, sweetly, using that soft voice he once seldomly used. "i don't like being with them as much as i like being with you."

your eyebrow quirks up at his uncharacteristic words and you can't help the smile that makes its way on your face, your skin warm and stomach fluttering as you bury yourself into his chest shyly.

you stay out on the balcony until the wind picks up and you're shivering against him, seonghwa rising silently with you in his arms and walking you both inside.

he kicks the balcony door shut before laying you out on your bed, tugging his shoes and pants off in a way that makes you smile because he's staying over.

"i'm serious, baby, please don't do that again," he says, looming over you as his hand softly brushes through you hair. you swallow the lump in your throat and push down the emotion threatening to make its way back up, wrapping your legs around him as a small smile makes its way on your face.

you're still sad and you're still anxious for the days that are to come but you're gonna push it all down and enjoy your remaining days with him. because he's here and you still have time with him, you'd be silly to waste it wallowing in self pity.

"only 'cause you said please," you tease, his eyes narrowing before he pushes you over and jumps into your bed. you try not to wake your aunt with your loud giggles as he tickles you until you surrender, promising to be on your best behavior for the rest of the night.

but then the rest of the night turns into one morning and then the next and you and seonghwa are doing everything possible to distract yourselves from the time that's approaching way too fast.

because it's about to change everything you worked to build over these last two months and prove that maybe the love from a summer romance isn't as true as it may seem.

(part 12)

#seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #seonghwa series #ateez series #seonghwa imagines #ateez imagines #seonghwa scenarios #ateez scenarios

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horansqueen · 3 years

Text

Stuck With You - Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Tell Me

🡪chapter 1 🡪chapter 2 🡪chapter 3 🡪chapter 4 🡪chapter 5 🡪chapter 6 🡪chapter 7 🡪chapter 8 🡪chapter 9 🡪chapter 10 🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

Tell me what it's like to be with you Remind me of the things we use to do And tell me that this time will never end Tell me what it's like, tell me again

Everytime you stay It never feels quite the same And everytime you go It hurts a way you'll never know

Everything I fear Shows itself everytime you're here And everything I know (I know) Leaves with you everytime that you go

click here to be on the update list

NIALL

It was not easy to ignore her. I had spent days doing exactly that but now that she had pushed me away, I couldn't do it anymore. I felt like a creep whenever I'd find myself staring at her for a bit too long. How could I just forget about her and pretend that nothing had happened between us? How could I just pretend I didn't care about her anymore? That I didn't think about her all the time? That I didn't have feelings for her? It felt completely stupid to go on with my life as if she hadn't been the most important part of it in the last few weeks... as if she was not still a big part of it.

I looked at her as she walked out of our class, laughing with Daxia and Asher about something I didn't hear. She raised her nose up in a grimace and giggled a bit more but I just pushed my hands in my pockets, remaining motionless as she left. She was better than me at pretending, and if I couldn't remember the way she had kissed me in the elevator, or the way she had looked at me when she found out I paid half her rent, I would believe her. Luckily (nor not?) I could clearly remember all of it. The way she had ground on my thighs as we kissed deeply and how she had whimpered when my cock had swollen between her legs... The way she let me touch her, the way she sucked on my tongue when we kissed in our room... but most of all, the way her eyes fluttered when I placed soft and slow kisses on her lips after my claustrophobic crisis... the way she had looked so hurt and sad whenever I left for whatever reason... the way I could hear pain in her voice every time I rejected her. It was all those things that kept hope alive inside me. You can't just forget about someone like that, right? Not someone who had that effect on you, no, I didn't want to believe it.

I waited, hopeful that maybe she'd glance back, giving me just enough fuel to keep hoping for something, but she didn't, and I ended up walking back to my room only to grab my guitar and my notebook. I scribbled a few words quickly, the first things that came to my mind when I thought about Devon, and found a melody just as fast.

I stared at some of the words written and felt my eyes flutter as I breathed in. I tried to stop the tears and swallowed them hard before clearing my throat and rubbing my eyes. It couldn't be the end, I didn't want it to be, and now that Devon was ignoring me the way I had ignored her, I couldn't help but hate myself, knowing it was what I actually put her through, and probably even worse.

I took my phone and snapped a picture of my notebook and my guitar, wondering how Devon would have taken the picture and knowing it would definitely have looked better than the one I was now posting on instagram, but it didn't matter. Somehow, I wished she would see it and realize it was for her, but I knew there was only a tiny chance for that. I hesitated but added a few words from the song I had just written in the description part and blinked a few times staring at it, wondering if it was a mistake.

"Every time we get this close, It's always pulling us apart."

Turns out Devon didn't like the picture or commented on it. I was not really expecting it but I was hoping for it, but if I knew one thing about Devon now, it was that she was really stubborn. It was not what emanated from her the most, in my opinion, and it wasn't as important as her intensity, her feelings, her fiery, her empathy and her sensitivity, but it was still a part of her that I couldn't deny. I couldn't blame her, most artists were stubborn, I was slightly entitled myself, but her stubbornness was strong and I liked it, even if it caused a problem at that exact moment.

When Lewis invited me home to watch the game, I almost refused. I wanted to see Devon, but she had asked not to see me, and it would have been wrong of me to go to her place, knowing she didn't want me around her. I wanted to respect her and what she wanted, even if I was desperate for a conversation with her. I knew I couldn't force her to have feelings for me, or to act on them. It was on her, and begging her or harassing her wouldn't change anything. In fact, it would make things worse and anyway, it was not the kind of things I did. If Devon ended up giving me a chance, it would be her decision, the same way it was my decision to push her away and not take all the chances she already gave me. A bad decision, but it was all mine.

I finally accepted when Lewis told me Devon was leaving for the evening and even if I was disappointed, I didn't show it or mention it. I couldn't stop wondering where she was going and with who as I drove to my friend's and when I parked. I stayed for a few minutes, sitting behind the wheel, trying to stop the erratic beatings of my heart. I hadn't felt like that for so long. It felt like a heartbreak all over again, except this time, the whole break up was my fault and the problem was me. I leaned my forehead on the wheel and sigh until I heard someone chuckle.

"Are you napping before the game?"

I sat up and leaned my head on the bench before sighing loud enough for Louis to hear.

"You’re here for Devon, I'm guessing." I just let out without enthusiasm, not even looking at him.

"Nop, I'm here because Lewis invited me to watch the game."

It made me frown and I turned my head his way as it was still leaning on the bench. "What?"

"Ya head." Louis shrugged, glanced at the door of the building before looking back at me. "I thought Dev was going to watch it with us."

I raised my eyebrows and started my car again, shaking my head slightly as Louis got closer. "Hey, mate, where are you going?"

"Devon doesn't want me near, I'm certainly not going to spend the evening in her vital space and make her uncomfortable." I explained, putting both my hands on the wheel.

"Dev doesn't want you to avoid her."

I sighed again and turned my head only to meet Louis' eyes. "She was pretty clear."

"You know she likes you, right?" Louis raised his eyebrows. "She wants you in her life."

"But she made it clear she didn't want me around. I can't just go with your words, okay? I have to go with hers."

I couldn't pretend it didn't feel good to hear from her best friend that Devon actually liked me, but I was also aware that Louis wanted me happy. He had been taking care of me ever since that story with my ex girlfriend. I didn't know if it was out of guilt or pure friendship but either way, I couldn't deny that he was there for me, no matter what. I had been blabbing and complaining to him every single day since that stupid blind date at the restaurant and even if he was annoyed by all the shit I threw at him, he remained calm and collected, which was a first for him.

"You're right." Louis admitted, taking one last pull at his cigarette and throwing it on the ground. He pushed the smoke out of his lungs on the side to make sure it wouldn't come in my face and licked his lips. "You do give up quite easily though don't you think? She came back every time you pushed her away." he pointed out in a gentle tone.

"No, she didn't." I shrugged a shoulder. "We just ended up being locked together in random places."

"Maybe Lewis' apartment can be that random place."

I moved my head closer to the window and looked up at the building before sighing. "If I have an inkling of a feeling that she's uncomfortable, I'm leaving."

"Good."

I ended up in the elevator with Louis, rubbing my hands on the back of my jeans. I was more and more nervous as we got closer to his apartment and when Lewis opened the door, I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest by my throat.

I didn't ask about Devon but she didn't seem to be there and we all sat in the living room with a beer. There were a few guys from some of my art classes too, sitting on the floor, but I decided to sit next to Louis on one of the couches. I finished my beer quite fast and got up to grab an other in the fridge. My heart skipped a beat when I closed the door after grabbing a beer and my eyes got slightly bigger.

"Hey, Devie." I let out in a low tone, swallowing hard as my eyes roamed on her. "Uhm you-you look great."

"No need to lie, Niall." she shook her head with a sigh. "I don't know why I let Daxia convince me to wear things like that, this is so uncomfortable." She pulled on the bottom of her dress roughly but all it did was show part of her bra. She was leaning a bit and I let my eyes roam on her cleavage for less than a second before looking away.

"You shouldn't do that." I pointed out, clearing my throat. "It's- it's pulling it at the top."

She looked down at her breasts and groaned, letting her head fall back on her shoulders. I had to admit I didn't remember her with that much cleavage and I licked my lips.

"Are you.. are you wearing a push-up bra or something?"

She looked up in my eyes with surprise and her lips parted slightly before she moved her head slowly from left to right. "How did you..." she didn't finish her question and shook her head faster. "That's it. That's enough. I'm getting changed!"

"No wait!"

I grabbed her wrist, two of my fingers and my thumb wrapping around it loosely. She stopped and breathed in, and I wondered if it was because she was annoyed that I stopped her, or annoyed because of that electric feeling that probably crossed her body the same way it had crossed mine at the contact of our skin.

"Devie, you look amazing." I admitted in a low and soft tone as she turned around to face me. I hated thinking she was going on a date, and all the scenarios in my head made my heart sink in my chest, but I couldn't lie to her. I would never lie to her again. "You really do. You look beautiful."

She bit her bottom lip and nodded as I let go of her wrist and she pulled on the top of her dress again to cover more of her breasts.

"I'm sorry, Devie. I know you're leaving but, if me being here bothers you, I can leave."

She looked up again and her eyes met mine. She just shrugged and cleared her throat, looking back at everyone in the living room before turning back to me again.

"No it's okay, I know Lewis is your friend." she shrugged, grabbing her purse on the table. "I'm leaving for the evening anyway, so it doesn't really matter."

I remained silent and pushed my hands in my pockets, holding my breath. Was I allowed to look at her the way I was looking at her?

"A pair of shorts."

"What?" she asked with a frown.

"If you wear a pair of shorts under your dress, it'll bother you less that it's short."

"The problem is mostly that I hate my thighs but I guess you're not wrong." she chuckled, raising her eyebrows. "It's a good idea."

I waited patiently until she came back, walking by the kitchen and waving shyly at me. "Bye Niall, thanks for the tip."

It took me a few minutes to go back to the living room. No one had noticed I had left for a while except for Louis, who turned his head my way as soon as I sat next to him. "Did you tell her?"

"Mm? Tell her what?" I asked, staring at the tv as I leaned my elbows on my knees.

"That you love her."

I turned my whole body his way, now only focusing on him, and shook my head. "No, and I don't plan to." I explained slowly. "Louis, she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you and you know it."

I didn't answer and turned back to the tv for a few minutes and finally leaned my back on the couch. "You think she's gonna shag a guy tonight?" I asked low and a bit sad, looking down at my beer as I turned it in my hands.

"No."

"Why not."

"I know Dev, she's not like that." Louis explained, letting out a sigh. "Would you shag a girl tonight? A girl that's not her?"

"What does it have to do with anything?"

"Dev is a lot like you." he finally confessed. "I'm sure you've noticed before. You two react the same way, you've been through the same things... both of you gave up on love and both of you are completely in love with each other. You stopped having sex with Mandy because Devon is all you think about. Trust me, you're all Devon thinks about, too."

"She told you that?" I asked, closing my eyes and swallowing hard.

"She'd kill me if she found out I told you."

---

An other week without Devon, an other week getting drunk and complaining to Louis. I had missed a few classes and always ended up in the music room to write songs on the piano after everyone had left until very late at night. I would probably get denied the access to that room if they found out I was drowning my pain in vodka, beer and rum while I was composing but I didn't care.

On friday night, Louis had begged me to join him in class. He had asked for the keys to classroom to finish his work and apparently, he wanted me to write a song for him that he'd use. I had never written a song for kids before but I was always ready to try new things. Besides, Louis had been there for me a lot in the past few days and I felt like I owed him at least that.

The days were getting shorter and it was already dark outside. Weirdly, the hall was barely lighted but I noticed the open door of a neon-lit room. I walked in and noticed Louis, sitting on one of the desks. His lips curled when he saw me and I realized I hadn't seen a small classroom like that before.

"Neil, hey, I'm glad you're here." he raised his eyebrows, jumping off the desk and walking to me. "I really need you."

"Yea, of course." I frowned, looking around the room. "I mean we could have worked in my room, or yours?"

"Mm no, we couldn't." he replied, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and bringing me closer into a weird hug. "It really had to be here."

"Okay, you're being weird. It sounds like a bad horror movie. Are you gonna kill me or something?"

Louis chuckled as I looked at him and he took a few steps back, throwing his arms in the air.

"I'd never do that, Niall. You're my best friend!"

I took a step closer when he reached the hall and he moved his hand in front of himself, making me stop immediately. "Wait here a minute or two, okay?"

"Alright."

I sighed and sat on a desk, my guitar on my lap, and let my fingers slide on the strings gently. It's only when I heard a voice in the hall that I looked up and frowned. My heart skipped a beat when Devon walked by the door, her eyes covered with Louis' hands but I frowned and raised my hands up when I noticed Lewis, slightly behind them, who was telling me to keep quiet with a finger on his lips.

"Lou, I hate surprises, you know it." she let out, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Despite all the stress my friends were putting me through, I still found myself thinking about kissing her as my eyes fell on her mouth and I held my breath.

"Keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them, alright?"

"Mmhm."

Slowly, he removed his hands from her eyes and I stood there, not really knowing what the hell they were trying to do. Devon didn't want to talk to me, she didn't want to be around me or hear about me, and bringing her here was not going to change anything, I knew it. It's only when Louis closed the door and I heard the lock that I understood.

"No!" I Iet out, jumping off the desk as I gripped my guitar tighter. "NO!"

I hit the door a few times without looking back at Devon but I knew that by now, she had understood what was happening. Our friends had decided to lock us in a room without our consent and I could feel myself get dizzy at that thought.

"It's not funny guys! I'm claustrophobic!" I yelled, hitting the door again with the side of my fist. "Let me out!"

"The room is big enough and there's like, five windows, Niall!"

"Yea!" Lewis agreed. "Feel lucky, at first we had thought about the janitor's closet!"

"Guys, it's not cool!" I begged, leaning my forehead on the door. "And it's useless."

"No it's not!" Louis let out as I closed my eyes and groaned low. "Solve your shit! I'm tired to hear both of you talk about each other!"

"Plus, we stole your phones." Lewis let out with a laughter. "I took Devon's when she was not looking and she just thought she lost it. Louis stole yours a few minutes ago."

I frowned and my hand reached for my pocket, realizing he was right and I just rolled my eyes. My heart was beating so hard I was wondering if it would just stop completely at some point. It was not a claustrophobia crisis though, it was just the fact that once again, I was locked with Devon somewhere but this time, the roles were reversed. She was the one who was avoiding me.

"Neil, tell her, okay?"

I didn't answer him. I just licked my lips and turned around, scared of what was going to happen. Devon raised her eyebrows at me and pressed her lips together, her arms wrapped around herself. She tilted her head and I had to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Tell me what?"

Request

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