#it’s about a deeply respectful relationship between a married woman and a horrible little man! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-make-fun-of-spn-characters · 3 years

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I feel like you've given most spn related things some lil spice but I always love the spice on this : hot spicy take on the "Dean is the most horrible character and ruins everyone's life and Sam and Cas are poor little meow meows who only do bad things sometimes because tyran Dean farted in their direction" takes that are not really only said by anti-Dean peeps ? Obsessed with that incredible thesis and would love the added spice ❤

SPICY HOT HOT GHOST PEPPERS CAROLINA REAPERS HELP I'M BURNING

I really try to respect other people’s opinions, and I believe there are a wealth of ways to interpret a story, and I think that’s a deeply beautiful thing. This applies to interpretations I don't agree with and outright dislike as well. That said, some opinions are simply and objectively bad, dishonest, and/or demonstrably false, and I truly do not believe you can sit down and honestly watch through the show with an open mind about all the characters, truly pay attention to what they do, say, and believe, and come to the conclusion that this show is about an evil manipulative abusive man terrorizing his pure and sinless brother and friend. It is an interpretation built from cherry picking facts to suit an ugly, miserable theory, making Mount Everest out of a bunch of the tiny mole hills, making the worst possible presumptions of feelings and intentions, and holding characters to completely different standards in order to neatly divide them into "abused" and "abuser" in a way that, frankly, fetishizes the abused person. I despise this interpretation of the story with every fiber of my being, and I have absolutely no respect for the opinion of anyone who peddles it, regardless of who they cast as villain/victim (because people have also done this with the others—it’s just more “popular” to do it with Dean... I mean... does anyone else remember how people were shitting on Sam after his emotional reaction in 14.12? Calling him an evil abuser? Because I do).

The thing that always gets me about this take isn't just how dishonest, unfair, mean-spirited, and compassionless it is in its treatment of Dean’s feelings, circumstances, and intentions... but how deeply reductive and offensive it is toward Sam and Castiel, sucking away their identities to turn them into effigies to mourn for their sad, Stockholm syndrome-esque attachment to their "abuser". Further, it grips the heart of the show—the relationship between Sam and Dean, and then the relationship among TFW as a whole—in a tight, uncompromising fist and pulverizes it. It literally rips out the heart of the show (the RELATIONSHIPS) and replaces it with something unprepossessing of any merit: A miserable, 15 years long story about a malicious abuser getting away with terrorizing those closest to him for his entire life, while his poor abuse victims suffer through until they die for him/happy to be reunited with him because they “don’t know any better” and never ever learned better, I guess. What a stupid, sad sack of a story.

Castiel is a thousands of years old celestial being who has literally beaten Dean into the pavement under no form of mind control, and has shown over and over again that he will do whatever the hell he wants, regardless of whatever Dean thinks about being sidelined. If he thinks whatever he is doing is in Dean's best interest, he literally does not care how Dean feels about it. He will nod and smile and then fly off and swallow thousands of souls with Dean begging him not to, shove Dean out of the way to attack the big bad, leave Dean alone in Purgatory, refuse to come out of Purgatory so he can self-flagellate, fly off with the angel tablet, help Sam with the Book of the Damned, let Lucifer possess him without anyone's knowledge or agreement, come into Dean's room under the guise of apologizing for ghosting him so that he can steal The Colt out from under his pillow and murder someone, decide not to murder that person and still prevent Sam and Dean from helping by knocking them both unconscious, get himself killed, make a deal to trade his life for Jack's and never tell anyone, hide information and worries and ignore phone calls, ghost Sam and Dean, and bicker and fight with Dean as if they are a married couple. Love sickness and feelings of worthlessness (which Cas has a wealth of reasons to feel—many of which aren’t even related to Dean but to his heavenly family) are reinterpreted as the result of some sort of constant, terrorizing emotional abuse. Power and authority that Dean does not actually have is forced into his hands by these fans. Maybe listen when Cas says, “Hey—not everything is your fault.” Maybe listen when he says “I loved the whole world because of you”, calls Dean a role model, says he enjoys their conversations, offers to die with him and dies for him multiple times. Maybe treat these feelings as genuine and valid and HIS and not as the delusions of some poor manipulated baby.

Sam is framed this way even more often than Cas, and it's a damn shame, because what I typically see is this: Sam’s development into a mediator and peacemaker is twisted and reinterpreted as coming from a place of weakness and/or fear. Rationality, maturity, wisdom, and compassion are not the traits of a scared, powerless child. They are the traits of a mature adult, who has been beaten down by life, and fought and raged against his circumstances, and somehow come out of it with more kindness and understanding and strength instead of less. He has made his own decisions whenever it was possible, within the set of circumstances doled out to him. From telling his dad to go fuck himself and going to college, to getting back into hunting to avenge Jess (NOT because of Dean—Dean took him home without complaint at the end of the woman in white case), to continuing to hunt after their father died because he wanted to feel close to him (Dean was actually weirded out and sort of disgusted by this), raging and fighting to save Dean from his deal against Dean’s wishes, continuing to hunt and working with Ruby (directly against Dean’s dying wish), drinking demon blood, jumping in the cage, leaving hunting to go be with Amelia, coming back to hunting to save Kevin, fighting with Dean over what he had with Amelia and threatening to leave if Dean didn't shut his mouth, leaving Amelia to go back to hunting (Dean ultimately suggests he go back to her—Sam chooses to stay), trying to kill Benny, demanding to be the one to do The Trials and saying he is going to SURVIVE them—that being the ENTIRE POINT, losing that resolve in a fit of depression but choosing to drop the knife, demanding space from Dean (and being given it), fighting to save Demon Dean who didn’t want to be found or saved, using the Book of the Damned against Dean’s wishes, telling Charlie that this is what he wants—that he used to want normal but now all he wants is to hunt with Dean and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he can’t have that, unleashing the Darkness in his desperation to keep Dean with him and even saying, “I would do it again” in the aftermath, saving the town being destroyed by Amara, getting into The Cage with Lucifer, leading a team against the British Men of Letters, nurturing Jack, punching Dean in the face when he was going to sacrifice himself, leading more hunters, wielding a gun against Chuck... and that’s just some highlights. Sam Fucking Winchester does not need your bullshit about him being some sad, scared, helpless baby lorded over by mean old Dean who has never let him do anything he wants.

Yes, in the text itself, there is jealousy and resentment at times, and there is legitimate and righteous anger on Sam’s part on a few occasions. There is blame cast on Dean by Sam for some of these choices/circumstances. Some of those moments where Dean is blamed are legitimate, and some of them... frankly, are not. Within the framework of the fucked up dynamics of the way they were raised, Sam and some fans bristle when they feel Dean is casting himself as the parent he is not, but Sam also has been guilty in the past of trying to reframe himself as Dean’s child when things got tough. Neither of them is responsible for the origin of that dynamic, but they BOTH have responsibility to change it, and they both, ultimately, succeed in doing so. For Sam, his part comes in recognizing and learning to fully own his own choices. Recognizing that he is not a child, and he is certainly not Dean’s child, and it isn’t just “Mummy—loosen the grip”, but Sam has to too—not claim independence only to blame Dean for his choices when his own decisions have an ultimate outcome he is unhappy with. That is a legitimate arc that Sam goes through imo, but he comes out the other side of it, and he and Dean relate to each other much better as peers from then on—and I’d like to note that throughout the entire series, when they don’t relate as perfect peers and teammates, it isn’t always Dean “bossing Sam around”, but Sam also trying to sideline Dean and yes—boss him around. And when they lied and hurt each other and yes, even manipulated each other, Dean most certainly wasn't always the one doing the lying and hurting and manipulating. Always, always, ALWAYS, they both had an understandable point of view, and it was complex, and you could understand why they made the choices they did, even if you thought of those choices as being wrong ones.

I also would like to point out (because this is basically what I see all of the time) that Dean being hurt by someone or simply voicing his feelings or opinion is in no way abusive or manipulative. Dean is certainly charismatic and loved and his returning love and respect is often deeply desired, but he is not an actual siren, who bends people to his will simply by speaking or being. People are, in fact, able to tell him “no”, and frequently FREQUENTLY do. Further more, no one is owed his affection, his unwavering loyalty, or his trust. He has a right to his boundaries, regardless of if it makes some poor sad sap feel deprived of the “wellspring of coveted love” while he works through things. He can be hurt and angry, and he can wear his heart on his sleeve at times, and he can be flawed, and broken. [Insert Castiel's speech from 15.18 here]. So can Sam. So can Cas. None of them are manipulating each other by virtue of getting angry, feeling hurt, being traumatized, needing space, or having differing opinions or feelings. Sam didn’t punch Dean in the face in 14.12 because he's a cruel, manipulative abuser trying to force Dean under his thumb. He didn’t work behind Dean’s back with Ruby, insist on doing The Trials, beg Dean to use Doc Benton’s alchemy, use the Book of the Damned to cure Dean, pump him full of blood to cure him of being a demon despite the fact that it might kill him, or scream at him and fight him for wanting to get in the Ma’lak box because he “doesn’t respect his autonomy” and “wants to control him” and “doesn’t respect his right to his own body”. He did it because he loves him desperately, and Dean could stand to fucking hate himself less, and he fiercely wanted Dean to live even when Dean didn’t want to or couldn’t picture what that could be like. He didn’t force Dean to do anything simply by opening his mouth to voice disagreement and swaying Dean when he did so. Now reverse that.

Cas didn't beat Dean into the ground in season 5 because he wanted to terrorize him into never going against Castiel ever again. He didn’t go behind his back dozens of times, sideline him, go MIA, all because he wanted to manipulate and control Dean and punish him. He didn’t throw sassy remarks at him to shatter his self-esteem. Now reverse that.

*Breathes*

Anyway, fuck "X is abusive” interpretations.

#being serious for 5 seconds #RANTING RANTING RANTING #spicy spicy ghost pepper extract #mail

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elsanna-shenanigans · 3 years

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June Contest Submission #19: Nube Negra

Words: ca. 3,700 Setting: post-F2 Lemon: no CW: self-harm, angst

“It looks ready to storm outside.”

“Huh, you think?”

“Yeah, look.”

“Mmm. Does that mean you’ll stay longer?”

“Stay longer?”

“Yes, stay longer.”

It was always frustratingly fleeting, the times that Elsa would come to the castle. She would come for just a single night, maybe once a week if that, and often would not even stay until morning. The rain had provided the perfect excuse, it would have been simple for her to stay. Elsa wanted to stay, right?

Anna slumped in her throne, one hand tightly gripping the arm. The other raked its way up her face and through her hair, smoothing it for the hundredth time. Why? What had she done to deserve this ire? It had all been going so well before, so what changed?

She needed to reflect on what happened last night. How could it have gone so wrong? It was just a simple request. Now Elsa was upset, and she had to piece together why. But maybe she should have expected that from her, because her efforts always made Elsa upset, didn’t they. No, that was cruel.

‘Think, Anna!’

There was only a limited amount of time before court began, so she would have to do this quickly. Now then, where did this all begin?

__________________

The day was beautiful, and the heat gentle. The humidity did its best to smother everyone, but the heat was far too tame to cause breathy discomfort. Gale had brought a message confirming the allotted time, and Anna had the time set aside by her advisors. Running a country took a lot of effort, but she could always make room for Elsa.

Anna had noticed the grey clouds gathering in the distance and hoped to the gods above that Elsa would make it before they realized their threat. It probably didn’t matter, since it wasn’t like she felt the cold or that type of discomfort. They would have fun, indoors or out. That’s what mattered. If she was lucky, it was possible that they would be able to cuddle up again while the rain pattered down.

It was strange though, Elsa’s letter. Something about the word choice felt stilted, or maybe reluctant was the better word. There seemed to be many a reference to being very busy and still hoping to make it, despite all the issues. Was she trying to say that she wasn’t coming at all? If so, why not state it outright? But that was something they could bring up later, since Elsa didn’t have to come if she really didn’t want to. Anna wasn’t that clingy.

__________________

‘The letter.’

Oh man, she should have read that more carefully and taken it to heart. Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could she have been so blind? Elsa hadn’t wanted to spend time with her and tried to let her down easily. And who could blame her? Anna could be clingy and overbearing on the best of days. Was that an attempt to spare her the upset?

Elsa had always been the reclusive type, even before the accident. Heck, even afterwards it was difficult to spend time with her. Anna had tried to respect those boundaries, but even she knew she had broken them occasionally. That was wrong, wasn’t it. Terribly, utterly wrong. Boundaries were there for a reason.

Her head ached and a sick feeling rose in her chest, along with a lump and a pit in her stomach. God, god, oh god she was horrible. Her nails dug into her forehead and raked her scalp hard as tears threatened to well. No! The person in the wrong should not be upset for their misconduct, it was their own misbehavior.

It was for the best that Elsa spent her time away from someone so awful, who treated her in such a sick way. Making her so deeply uncomfortable and yet still drew her in like a tired moth. And yet, and yet loving Kristoff, good Kristoff…

He gave it all up, hadn’t he? But he was the son of love experts, he would know, they would know. He had offered to help them hide, had known since long before. And yet he stood with them. Why? Why would he give hope to someone like her?

__________________

They had spoken in private before. Matters of the heart, discussions of romance. It was a topic of common interest between them, and Anna was a quick learner. Kristoff was as enthusiastic as she, but over time something in their dynamic changed. Maybe it was the spark in his eye, or maybe it was her dulled excitement. Whatever it was, something was off.

It all came to a head when he stopped her in the hall one day, and they retreated to a private study where they would not be disturbed. Kristoff himself looked impassive, though she could tell his composure was just a bit off.

Kristoff breathed in, and spoke:

“Anna, I know.”

A spark of confusion and worry leapt into her chest as she responded.

“Know what?” Her voice was pitched up, almost breathless.

“Look, I know how you feel about Elsa.”

“Y-you what? I- You do?! I- I mean I don’t feel anything about her, except well sisterly love but you know that’s normal! Right? Right.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Kristoff gave a wan chuckle, “I’m not mad.” Anna blinked. “You’re not?”

“Anna, I was raised by love experts. Trust me when I say I know what I’m talking about. And you sister? You’re in love.”

“But… but I’m not. Well, I am but it’s with you.”

Kristoff shook his head and smiled.

“You really are oblivious huh.”

“I am not!”

“Okay, let me put it this way. What would you do for her?”

“Anything! You know that!”

“Would you die for her?”

“You know I would and did with that whole frozen heart thing! I’d be dead if it weren’t true love!’

“Feistypants, that’s not how people usually act. And the true love? It doesn’t apply to everyone.” “That was sisterly love and you know it.”

“Anna,” he said, “listen to me. I know what I’m talking about. It’s okay to admit it.”

She looked at him, mouth quivering, then said, “But what about you?”

“What about me?” “Wouldn’t that hurt you?”

Kristoff shook his head. “I’ve gotten over it, really. I just want you to be happy, okay? That’s what would make me happy.”

Anna shook her head and hugged him. “God, Kristoff, I don’t think I could repay you.”

“How ‘bout a sack of the best carrots you can find for Sven?”

“Kristoff!”

“Okay, okay, geeze.” He raised his hands in mock defeat. “But really, I’m here for you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

__________________

She knew well that probably hurt him a lot, especially when he proposed to keep their facade going. After all, it was improper for a young man like him to spend time with the princess unless they were to marry or something similar. But it was even more improper for a Queen to love her sister. Certainly, there was precedent but not between sisters.

And yet for a time, all was good. They spent time together, they snuggled and kissed in private. It was easy. They were in love, and that came with some arguments, but nothing was wrong. But then the apathy began to settle in, and Elsa began to almost resent being there.

The change was so subtle, maybe she had no chance at noticing. But maybe there was just that base incompatibility of certain parts of them that they had ignored in their honeymoon phase. At what point had she become upset at the lack of contact between them despite the plethora of time they had? When did Elsa become tired of her presence, annoyed to have company?

She should have capitalized her time when they both lived together. She should have done something, anything other than what they had done. She should have reached out first and communicated. That’s what she had always been told, that communication was key to a relationship. And she failed, hadn’t she? She failed, and she was seeing the consequences of that.

Should have, could have, would have. It was useless now, because the present moment became the past and she did not. In the moment, it did hurt when they weren’t together or if she felt that Elsa would leave her again. And she did, didn’t she? But maybe that was inevitable. Maybe that was healthiest for them both if she was too overbearing and hurt by their childhood to heal while Elsa was still there. Worst of all was the fact that she might have to be okay with that and heal from her own mistakes.

Anna’s hands shook as she tried to steel her nerves and not curl up, crying. She wanted nothing more than to scream and cry and beg in upset. Instead, she raked her nails over her scalp again, relishing in the little grounding the pain provided. This was far too much for one little girl like her to handle.

‘No!’ she screamed mentally. She was a queen, an adult woman, and it was time for her to act like one. This entire mess was her fault, and she had to take responsibility. She could not- would not collapse emotionally in front of her people. Even when her sister had seemingly died, she took the next right step. Even in her deep uncertainty, she willed herself composure until it was over.

There was no use in pitying herself or behaving like she wasn’t the one who instigated this. What she had to do was do better in the future. And thus, she had to relive what went wrong so that she might now do right. It was only what Elsa deserved. And maybe Elsa didn’t deserve to have someone like her, but she would do her best to be the best partner she could be.

And yet, she still couldn’t help but be upset at the rejection.

__________________

She waited in the entrance hall, as was customary. There was nothing quite like watching the grand double doors open to let in Elsa’s figure. The juxtaposition between the massive oak doors and the tiny silhouette of her sister was mesmerizing. It always called to mind a painting where the splash of color drew the eye and allowed the art to unfold from there.

And then they didn’t. She waited, and waited, but there was no Elsa. The grey clouds had coalesced by now and had begun darkening. What caused her to be so late? There had to be a reason for it. Maybe she had gotten caught in some early downpour in the forest?

There had to be a reason. Elsa was not the type to be tardy, so it had to be something else. Still, it irked her some. Couldn’t she have sent a forward letter with Gale informing her that she might be late? Or maybe she was too busy to do that. Maybe she was in danger and it was awful to suspect her.

Anna read and reread the letter, hoping to glean some new meaning out of it. Unfortunately, the letter stayed inert and did not succumb to her wishes. All she could tell was that Elsa was supposed to come at the correct time but was busy. Busy with what? It never clarified, and it was probably rude to ask. Still, it couldn’t hurt to emphasize the importance, right?

But then Elsa became later and later and Anna continued her vigil in the entrance hall. It was foolish really, she ought to be working on things now so that they might have more time later to make up for the time lost. But she still desperately wanted to be there when Elsa arrived so she waited.

Finally, the time came. Anna was twisting her hands and watching the door with aching eyes, hardly daring to blink.

‘There. Movement. Please, let it be her.’

And it was. Elsa’s face seemed almost haggard in the firelight, though her expression was neutral. She was perfectly dry, and seemed to be alright. That piqued Anna’s curiosity more, but she shoved it down. Anna then smiled and crinkled her eyes, caught between conflicting emotions and genuine gladness. Only the gladness was allowed to shine through.

“Hey you, you’re finally here.”

“Hey, I’m here.”

Such a simple statement. And yet it sucked the wind out of Anna. The lack of enthusiasm hurt, but she was determined to spend this time well. They greeted each other with a simple peck on the lips.

__________________

What a fool she had been to not say anything then. Should she have called her sister out to prevent what was to happen next? No, that probably would have escalated the conflict sooner than it had. The conflict was inevitable by then. Maybe if they… no. No ‘maybe’s or ‘what if’s. She had to figure out what to do next.

The letter was her hint. Elsa did not want to stay for long, likely because she tired easily of human contact. That had been established. But why did she say nothing in that case? Why did she always shield herself behind excuses of being busy and implications but never statements of how she felt? That wasn’t fair. She’d done her best to interpret them.

No, that wasn’t fair at all. Heat rose unbidden to Anna’s face and her teeth bared themselves in fury as her brow furrowed deeply. How dare she, how dare she! This was not Anna in its entirety! She made mistakes, yes, but so had Elsa! At least she was willing to think back and change her poor behavior!

She wanted to scream again, to shout, to beat her fists against something in fury. Stomping, pacing, clenching her hands until they hurt. It almost felt cathartic to imagine it, but she maintained composure. An adult did not throw fearsome tantrums.

But now her upset morphed into rage and the thoughts spilled into her mind. It wasn’t right that she always blamed herself. It wasn’t right that Elsa never communicated and always locked herself away. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, and she ought to be allowed negative emotion, oughtn’t she?

‘You know that’s unhealthy. But it’s fair, it had to be fair.’

But it wasn’t, she had the right to be angry, right? Elsa may have thought she was doing the best she could, but she hadn’t. Couldn’t she see how much that hurt the people around her? How much it hurt her? She reached out again and again to her sister, trying to help, trying to care, and how many times had it been rejected?

Who else then, could she have blamed? Certainly not her parents. They weren’t the ones who were seemingly mysteriously shunned. They weren’t the ones who were faced with the prospect of being trapped in a gilded cage after being given a taste of freedom.

Spreading blame was wrong, she knew this. It was worthless in such a hapless event like their childhood. But she couldn’t help but have her heart rate rise at the mere thought of Elsa’s actions recently. She ought to know better!

It simply wasn’t fair. It was not fair. She did her best. Elsa withdrew. She tried to find out what was wrong. Elsa withdrew. Was there nothing she could do that didn’t involve driving her away? And in that instant, less than a fraction of a fraction of a second, she hated Elsa for everything that happened.

The moment ended and she was struck with a bitter sting of remorse that left her insides twisted and hollow. Hatred wouldn’t fix their relationship. Anger wouldn’t either. Neither would self-pity nor self-hatred. The only thing that could fix this was reflection and work. So reflect she would.

__________________

Everything had been going so well. Despite her initial misgivings, Elsa seemed to mellow out and allow herself to be swept up in the games. Anna forgot her concerns and they played, all of them, as a group. When was the last time they had been able to do this? Spend time all together, embrace, and lose herself in Elsa’s arms? When did it become so that their relationship oft lacked such basic touch?

What had gone so wrong?

It mattered not. She enjoyed every stroke from Elsa, every cuddle. She stroked Elsa’s jaw, Elsa played her fingers on the nape of Anna’s neck. The sensation was electrical. They continued such touches throughout the lovely evening and until it was time for Elsa to go.

Already, Anna ached for the phantom comforts from Elsa, but she walked her to the main hall. There, they spotted black clouds lying in ambush above, and waiting for them to leave.

They spoke the fateful words, Elsa being the one to ring the fatal doom-toll.

“It looks ready to storm outside.”

“Huh, you think?”

“Yeah, look.”

“Mmm. Does that mean you’ll stay longer?”

“Stay longer?”

“Yes, stay longer.”

__________________

Anna couldn’t help but wince at those words. They circled themselves, round and round in her head. Rumination they called it, but she knew that they would not leave her until her dying day. Powerful was the pain of hypotheticals.

She should have known something was wrong when Elsa became increasingly less receptive to contact. Maybe she should have known something was worse when she openly snuggled. But that didn’t make sense. Elsa had never been reluctant to express love, even if it was difficult at times.

Contact, she suspected, may have been linked with the frequency of seeing her. Elsa’s visits stopped up as if they had become increasingly difficult. It wasn’t like being around her was the issue, even though it clearly was. It seemed that Elsa was reluctant to come, but glad to stay for a time.

‘But not for longer,’ her brain reminded her.

No, not for longer. That much was clear now. It was upsetting, but she also understood that it must have been one of Elsa’s boundaries that she had broken. Of course it was. She should have known from before. It almost felt like a minefield, blinded as she was from communication.

She breathed out as she understood. They needed to talk. What mattered is that they talked.

__________________

When Elsa said no, Anna couldn’t help but ask and wheedle for her to stay. Both out of a desire to see her for longer and because it concerned her to see Elsa in what was likely to be a massive storm. It wasn’t like the forest had a roof, and Ahtohallan caused her more worry than not.

Elsa grew increasingly frustrated to the point where they broke into a shouting match. Anna didn’t know whose voice raised first, or why they began shouting anymore. She had run the memory so ragged and remembered it so much that it was hardly more than a blur.

Still, she could remember the intense emotional pain that came with it, raw and jagged. The upset was so severe that she felt sick mid-argument, wishing for anything else, anyone else to be there. The build-up had boiled over and all came crashing down.

At the same time, the clouds decided to drop their heavy yokes and loose the rains upon them. The crash of thunder and flashes of lightning punctuated their furor. They threw insults and upset word, uncaring of the consequences. In that moment, the only objective was to hurt as much as possible.

Nobody intervened, as they let the fight play out. In the end, Elsa stormed out into the heavy rains as Anna called her name with increasing hysteria. She crumpled to the ground in defeat as her senses and rationality returned to her.

__________________

It hurt to remember, she didn’t want to. Anna longed to take the memory and shove it away so that she might be spared the pain and embarrassment of her own childish actions. But that too would be childish, so she instead reflected on it.

Her behavior was wrong. She behaved poorly and broke boundaries in the relationship. Realistically, Elsa should have left her for such things and didn’t. That much was true. Anna had to learn from her mistakes and remake herself into a better person. Someone who could love Elsa without hurting her.

But Elsa wasn’t an angel either. She had failed to communicate. Her silence was inasmuch a sin of inaction as Anna’s was of action. She could not know she had done wrong until she was told by Elsa. Dropping only hints and then blowing up at a person when they misinterpreted them was also wrong.

Anna sighed. She may have been able to recognize that it was not solely her, but she had no control over Elsa either. What she did have control over was herself, and she intended to do the next right thing. What more could she do?

Love took work, and True Love doubly so. She had made a mistake, but she would not cower from her burden. No, she would not do that, not to Elsa. She would fix this, somehow. She would find a way to communicate with her, to reach the same level, and intended to work with her to improve what they somehow broke.

Anna’s heart clenched as she realized that it all balanced on one thing. That Elsa would be willing to extend her hand and meet her halfway. She would do all she could, but there was a very strong possibility that it wouldn’t happen.

It would hurt terribly. She knew that they could have ruined everything forever, and she would have to live with that. Could she live with that? Yes, she had to. For her people, and most of all for herself. Even the largest jagged wounds could heal. But she hoped against hope that Elsa felt the same way.

It seemed an uncertain given with their true love. Of course they would heal, that is why their love was true. But the damage they had unwittingly done due to their inherent differences was large. Could they? It had to be.

But she didn’t have time to think about it any longer. It was time for court to be held, and she would address her problems later. Now the time came for Queen Anna to rule wisely and compassionately. That was a queen’s duty to her people.

As the doors opened to the first petitioner, Anna saw their silhouette.

“…You?”

#elsanna #submission #June 2021 contest #prompt: storm #cw: angst #cw: self harm

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sabineelectricheart · 3 years

Text

The Long Road

Summary: Hawke asks Sebastian to accompany her to the Wounded Coast to help matchmake Aveline and Donnic. The Brother is not amused.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 1909

Notes: So, I’ve been playing DA these days, and I thought to cross-post here some fanfictions I wrote way back when. Enjoy!

Sitting on the floor by the door of the City Guard Captain is certainly not the best use of my time.

Hawke was twirling her hair distractedly, to my great surprise, also looking extremely bored and rather uncomfortable. I did not think she had that tick, as I felt that fighting highwaymen and explorations down the Deep Roads did not seemed befitting to hair care and the affairs of the heart.

Well, this whole day has been about surprising circumstances.

*_*_*_*_*

“Please, Sebastian!” She begged. “The whole thing feels so ungainly!”

She came looking for me at the Chantry, early that morning, while I tended to the candles to the dead. I had not the chance to finish my prayers before she grumbled her request.

I was used to Hawke’s weird invites, and usually I am more than glad to attend to them. She is a good friend and a fierce fighter, I never feared for my life with her by my side, not to mention my standing debt with her.

This, however, was a little too weird. To help matchmake the Guard Captain with a guardsman. By doing the rounds ahead of them.

“I can see that.” I agreed. “That is why I don’t think I should get involved. How would Guard Captain Aveline say if she knew you are being so open about her private life?”

“She asked me for help, and now I’m asking you…” She mumbled.

“She asked you, not me. You should do what you can, not bite more you can chew, and certainly not go spreading the tale around town.”

“I know that!” She defended. “That’s why I came to you, really. Varric and Isabela would tell all the patronage at the Hanged Man, Merrill has good intents, but she has an awful lack of tact, and Fenris and Anders are pants at romance.”

“And you thought a Brother of the Chantry would be a better option?”

“Yes?” She said, weakly. “Look, you had a, er, prolific romantic life when you were younger. Besides, mother tells me all the noble girls ask for you to hear their confessions.”

I felt my cheeks redden. “That’s beside the point!”

“What I mean by that is that you know how it works.” She countered, matter-of-factly, then, whispering, she said, “That’s more I can say for myself.”

The declaration made me halt for a moment, as I was quite sure that she would have had involved herself with Fenris at some point in time, or at least Anders in the three months they were away at the Deep Roads.

Nevertheless, while I heard her quite well, in respect for her right to privacy over her affairs of the heart, I did not press, despite my deep-seeded curiosity in the matter.

“I do not know what you would call experience, but I insist that I have no special skill over those matters. Even if I did, my, ahem, interests have been firmly and historically towards the fairer sex, and I come to understand that this is an entirely different métier.” I argued, trying to put an end to the discussion.

She groaned unseemly, and looked me dead in the eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you that, but I have no choice. Yesternight, Aveline wanted me to take Donnic for a drink at the Hanged Man and distract him for a while before she arrived, and now he’s under the impression I’m interested in him. He rejected me, of course, and thank the Maker for it, but I’m horribly embarrassed by that.

“If you were to come with me, perhaps… Well, perhaps he would understand I don’t want nothing with him and refrain from doing this sort of comment. At least, I think he wouldn’t jump to that conclusion anymore. Just… Please?”

Guardsman Donnic thought Hawke was interested on him, out of all people? And then came to the conclusion she was not worth his affections? He had quite a sense of self, huh?

Marian Hawke was not only a blue-blood, hailing from one of the most important families of the Free Marches, and with an enviable martial skill, which serves to memory that he made use of when she saved him. She was remarkably beautiful as well, yes, but that is not all, either. She had a noble character that was very hard to come by, always in service of the downcast of Kirkwall, even if she made questionable decisions on occasion.

The thought that Donnic is somehow above her made me want to laugh.

“Fine. Let’s go.” I conceded, sighing.

She beamed and led me to the city gates by the hand. I did not mind.

*_*_*_*_*

Her plan at the Wounded Coast did not go well.

Aveline was right in asking for all the help she could get, as she was hopeless when it came to romantic relationships, and it was painfully distressing to watch it unfold.

After clearing the entire path of highwaymen and traffickers, Donnic and Aveline had a completely uneventful patrol, where she could not form a single sentence that did not feel like nails on a chalkboard, not to mention the pitiful romantic caliber of it.

Hawke was downright frustrated, whispering expletives to herself she thought I could not hear, and I usually would chastise the language, but there was a time and a place to swear, and I ought to say this was it.

Finally, when they reached our outpost at the end of the trail, she forsook their anonymity and jumped in front of the pair of guardspeople, a wagging finger in front of her face.

“We don’t have all night, you know?!” She shouted at them.

Donnic, confused, looked between me, emerging from the bushes, Hawk and Aveline.

“Would someone please tell me what is going on?” He asked.

I sighed. “Guardsman Donnic, excuse my bluntness, but for the Maker’s sake, me and Hawke have been trying to help Captain Aveline to communicate her feelings for you all day. Please cooperate, because she is helpless.”

“Captain?” He turns to her to confirm, and she could only laugh noncommittally. Faced with such riveting response, he responded, uncomfortable, “I… Should get to the barracks.”

“Most unwise.” I commented, but made no further attempt of dissuading the man.

As he left, Aveline turned to Hawke in absolute rage. “I thought we were friends.”

“Friends sometimes push.” Was her response.

“I have to fix this. He could ask for a transfer, file a complaint.” She said, concernedly, and then turned to me. “You! You will come to the barracks and explain why you put him on the spot, or so help me!”

“Aveline, love is patient, love is kind, but love does not read thoughts.” I pointed out. “I hear you wanted to know whether you were a good match for each other, and I am sorry to say, there is no other way. The Maker will not tell you the right answer, you will have to find out yourself.”

Her eyes narrow and her hold on her sword tightens. “I will see you at the Keep.”

*_*_*_*_*

Once at the City Guard headquarters, Aveline had yet to calm herself down.

She paced back and forth through the main lounge, the other guards looking curiously at us.

“Maker, where is Donnic?” She begruntled. “I have to stop this before it arrives at the viscount. Maybe a formal apology. Something that show the guards they still can trust me.”

“Perhaps a few awkward gifts should help.” Hawke pointed out, and I snickered.

The redhead glared at her friend.

“You are their captain, Aveline.” I said, trying to defuse the situation. “You are not a golem; you are a human being. They expect you to have feelings, and are bound to respect you more if you show them on occasion.”

“Not if they are getting on the way of the job!” She countered.

“You don’t know that yet.” Hawke piped.

“It doesn’t matter! It’s a liability!” The other woman responded, deeply frustrated and afraid. “I will not be that stupid again.”

Guardsman Donnic chose that moment to appear down the stairs at the headquarters.

“Excuse me, Serah Hawke, Messere Vael, I need to speak with Aveline in private.”

“Guardsman Donnic.” Aveline acknowledges him, looks for confirmation from Hawke and motions for them to converse at her office.

*_*_*_*_*

Now, we wait.

A loud giggle coming from the room surprises Hawke, who uncrosses her arms and straightens her back.

“It seems to be going well.” She commented.

“It would appear so.” I agreed.

Her mouth twitched slightly over her thoughts, and then she sits next to me. “Hey, Sebastian?”

“Yes?”

“Before you made your vows, have you ever been in love?”

“No.” I said, categorically. “When I first left the Chantry, which was when I started dragging the family name through the mud, my mother offered me a choice: either to return to the order or to get married.

“I abhorred the idea of being what I thought to be equivalent to shackled to a woman the rest of my life, so I thought I could just pretend to have a righteous life with the sisters for a year or two, and then resume my prior interests once my parents forgot about it. Funny how things turned out.

“Had I been in love, truly in love, my choice would certainly be other. In fact, perhaps I would never get to the point of having to chose at all, I would have never strayed.”

“I see.” She tutted. “Do you regret it? Making your vows? Being unable to marry?”

I chuckled. “I could never regret a promise made to the Maker. However, I do wish things have never gone this way.”

“You mean, the Harimanns?”

“Yes, that too. I was more than happy to continue my life as a third son, keeping my vows, but I think I would be happy as a minor noble in an estate in the Marches, and that would include having a family, too.”

She smiled sadly at me. “For what is worth, I am sorry for what happened with your family. I am sorry you are being forced into a role you do not really want. Maker knows it’s something I have experienced.”

I thought about what I could say about that matter, but I was still trying to wrap my head around what had happened. Instead, I asked of her, “What about you? Do you desire to get married?”

“Yeah.” She responded shily. “I am a mage. I think I should marry, I feel like I should, for my people at Circles that cannot. Besides, you tend to develop a desire for stability when you become a refugee.”

I sighed. “I see. Who would you want to marry, then?”

Her cheeks redden. “I don’t know. The best I can tell you is I want a good man.”

“Preferably a direct one?” I asked in jest.

“Andraste, yes!” She breathed out.

As she spoke, Donnic emerged from the office, bowed his head slightly, and Aveline asked to talk to her.

“Sebastian?” She asked from the doorstep. “Would you care for waiting for me? We could stop by the baker’s before walking to the Chantry.”

I smiled. “I would love to.”

“Great.” She, too, beamed. “I’ll be right out.”

So, I began to think, what does make a good, direct man? Perhaps Varric knows the answer. I ought to ask him one of these days.

*_*_*_*_*

Dragon Age II Masterlist

#dragon age #sebastian vael

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secretlyatargaryen · 5 years

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hey just wanted to say that your metas (especially the ones about cat) are so good and awesome. It really bothers me when people either treat her as either a horrible b**ch or a poor angel with no agency who did nothing wrong because society and jon’s a bastard who should be grateful for anything he gets. Would you mind talking more about how cat deals with the patriarchy. I have always felt that short of her problem with Jon she seemed content and i’m curious as to why you think she was not?

Thanks so much!

Well, short of her problem with Jon is a short phrase to talk about a big fucking problem. Catelyn’s problem with Jon isn’t something small, especially when you consider that Catelyn is an essentially good person who is rational and compassionate about everything else. Someone who treats a child that way is not perfectly content. Her problem with Jon is not an isolated incident that comes out of nowhere, it’s something that comes from years and years of pain. And Catelyn’s chapters are full of pain, and sorrow, and loss, even before everything goes to shit in the series.

I think it’s easy to see Catelyn as the exceptional woman who thrives under patriarchy especially because she’s the “good mom,” in contrast to Cersei’s “bad mom.” But Catelyn, like all the women in the series, has suffered her fair share of traumas under the patriarchy. And she reflects on them quite often.

Since she was a little girl she’s been raised to believe, like Sansa, that her greatest accomplishment in life is to be a wife and a mother. It’s even in her house words, “family, duty, honor.” I know those words apply to the whole of house Tully but on a meta-textual level, they are entirely about Catelyn. Throughout Catelyn’s chapters there is a sense of…resignation to duty. It feels like she lives in a world which she isn’t really truly a part of. She loves Ned but she feels out of place in his world. Right from her first chapter, when she seeks Ned in the godswood, there is a sense that she’s sort of apart from everything. And part of that is because death and tragedy has haunted their marriage since the start. She’s been told since she was twelve that she would be married to Brandon, and then Brandon died and she was passed along to a person who was a “solemn stranger,” a person who carried his own ghosts.

Eddard Stark had married her in Brandon’s place, as custom decreed, but the shadow of his dead brother still lay between them, as did the other, the shadow of the woman he would not name, the woman who had borne him his bastard son.

Catelyn’s POVs show an acceptance of duty, but underneath it all there’s an emotional cost to herself. Catelyn is smart and strong-willed, but she does temper that a bit for the sake of what she considers her duty. You can see the edges of it in her POV. You can see it in her uneasiness when she thinks about Brandon and Ned and Jon. Like, part of the thing with Jon isn’t just the other woman thing, it’s that Jon’s existence in Winterfell is ALSO a symptom of the way this world brutalizes women. Cat of course doesn’t know that Jon’s mother is Lyanna and what really happened to her, but the phrasing up above talks about her and Brandon as shadows, implying a connection there. Brandon died horribly, and if whatever happened with Jon’s mother is something that Ned won’t even talk about, it kind of implies that something horrible happened to her, too. Ned is kind of like Rochester here with this nameless woman hidden in his attic, and Catelyn knows that this world is not kind to women.

You can see it when she questions Robb and the Northern lords, and several times she questions them on point relating to gender:

The Greatjon bellowed his approval, and other men added their voices, shouting and drawing swords and pounding their fists on the table. Catelyn waited until they had quieted. “My lords,” she said then, “Lord Eddard was your liege, but I shared his bed and bore his children. Do you think I love him any less than you?” Her voice almost broke with her grief, but Catelyn took a long breath and steadied herself. “Robb, if that sword could bring him back, I should never let you sheathe it until Ned stood at my side once more … but he is gone, and a hundred Whispering Woods will not change that. Ned is gone, and Daryn Hornwood, and Lord Karstark’s valiant sons, and many other good men besides, and none of them will return to us. Must we have more deaths still?”

“You are a woman, my lady,” the Greatjon rumbled in his deep voice. “Women do not understand these things.”

“You are the gentle sex,” said Lord Karstark, with the lines of grief fresh on his face. “A man has a need for vengeance.”

“Give me Cersei Lannister, Lord Karstark, and you would see how gentle a woman can be,” Catelyn replied.

Catelyn is incredibly aware of how disadvantaged she is as a woman in her society. She’s aware of it and aware of the stress it puts on her daughters as well.

“… but not for the girls?” Her voice was icy quiet. “Girls are not important enough, are they?”

I think it’s interesting to think of Arya’s “the woman is important, too” in this context.

Catelyn also empathizes with Brienne in a way that only a woman could. It’s not just that she sees her own daughter Arya in Brienne, although that’s there too. I think this exchange between them is particularly telling:

“Knights die in battle,” Catelyn reminded her.

Brienne looked at her with those blue and beautiful eyes. “As ladies die in childbed. No one sings songs about them.”

“Children are a battle of a different sort.” Catelyn started across the yard. “A battle without banners or warhorns, but no less fierce.

Here they are acknowledging that a woman’s role in this world is both painful and thankless, although Catelyn also makes it clear that she thinks it no less worthy of respect than a man’s. This relationship between these two ladies is one of my favorites because it underscores both the pain of conforming and the pain of refusing to conform for women, and Catelyn at times does both. She never thinks less of herself just because she is a woman, though, never accepts the attempts of the men around her to belittle her. She keeps fighting right up until the end of her life, even after losing her husband. And conventional storytelling says that losing Ned SHOULD be the end of her story, that her life ended with hers, but it doesn’t. Like Dany refusing to grow old in the cloistered Dosh Khaleen as a used woman, Catelyn doesn’t sit back and let men dictate her life even when she feels like she WANTS to. If she did, she would have never taken on the role of a lord and accepted Brienne into her service.

Another thing that shows Catelyn’s awareness of the restrictions placed on women is her relationship with and reflections on her sister Lysa.

When Catelyn visits her father and first learns about what really happened to Lysa’s first child, she at first doesn’t understand, and this part is interesting because it parallels her feelings about Ned and the shadow of Jon’s mother:

Could there have been another woman in her father’s life? Some village maiden he had wronged when he was young, perhaps? Could he have found comfort in some serving wench’s arms after Mother died? It was a queer thought, unsettling. Suddenly she felt as though she had not known her father at all.

[…]

His words disturbed her more than she could say, though she could make no sense of them. Blood, she thought. Must it all come back to blood? Father, who was this woman, and what did you do to her that needs so much forgiveness?

She starts to come to the conclusion that her father may have fathered a bastard on some woman named Tansy, and this thought greatly disturbs her, in part almost certainly because it is so like the situation with Ned. Women die in childbed, men father bastards, this is the world that Cat lives in, and she is deeply, deeply aware of the cost of it.

I mean…Lysa. Lysa’s story is so, so sad. She gets pregnant by a man who will never return her love, and then married off to a man way too old for her, only to have miscarriage after miscarriage. Lysa and Catelyn were married on the same day, to boot, and both to men who were strangers they did not love. How can Cat NOT be aware of the cost?

“Father,” she said, “Father, I know what you did.” She was no longer an innocent bride with a head full of dreams. She was a widow, a traitor, a grieving mother, and wise, wise in the ways of the world. “You made him take her,” she whispered.

That “wise, wise in the ways of the world” is so heavy.

#catelyn stark #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls

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traincat · 5 years

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I've been ranting to my friends about Johnny being abused and raped recently and one of them said: Lyja has damaged and put an element of distrust into every relationship he may ever have. which is really fucking me up and I wanted to share in part bc I don't wanna be sad alone and also bc I think that's an interesting side effect of Lyja's time in his life that doesn't get talked about enough

Thank you for sharing this because the thing is I do think there is a very definite divide in how Johnny acts particularly in regards to relationships before and after his marriage to “Alicia.” I doubt this was entirely intentional on the parts of the writers who handled the book after, but I’ve said before that I think after a certain amount of time and with enough stories behind them characters tend to take on a life of their own, and even if the writers are hesitant to address it there’s no way an event like his relationship with Lyja couldn’t have deeply effected Johnny.

Simply put: I don’t think “playboy Johnny” exists before Lyja. I don’t buy into “playboy Johnny” much as a general phenomenon, because if you actually look at the canon there’s just not much to actually back it up, but he certainly has at periods played into this public (both in and out universe) perception of himself. What I mean is, pre-Lyja, there is absolutely no proof Johnny had ever engaged in casual sex. (There’s actually no proof he wasn’t a virgin when Lyja began working her way into his life while masquerading as Alicia; this panel from Fantastic Four #275 is the first time Johnny having sex is addressed:

That shirt is Johnny’s – you see him wearing it the issue leading up to this one. To be clear, there’s nothing in the issue that supports this being Johnny’s first time, either – it’s just that he doesn’t have any sex scenes prior. Either way, this is not the reaction of someone who had a good time.)

Pre-the Alilyja incident, Johnny had a grand total of three relationships: Dorrie Evans in high school, Crystal Amaquelin, Frankie Raye. He had a few dates with a girl named Lorrie Melton who called things off with him because he was more serious than she wanted to be, and shared a whole one kiss with a girl named Valeria from the Fifth Dimension (no relationship to his future niece). He also briefly pursued a girl named Julie Angel, who blatantly wasn’t interested in him. When Julie’s friend Sharon came onto him during this period, he reacted with discomfort:

(Fantastic Four #259)

So, playboy Johnny Storm, a womanizer who sleeps around – he doesn’t exist in canon at this point. (If anything, Johnny repeatedly reacts negatively to being kissed suddenly and without his permission leading up to and during the marriage.) Then you have the marriage, which happens fairly quickly – Johnny and Alicia’s relationship is “cemented” in FF #275, they get married in FF #300. I want to note that Johnny’s pretty young when he gets married, especially by modern standards – you have to do the Spider-Man math with this one, since Johnny’s age at this point in canon isn’t stated, but he and Peter both get married at roughly the same time. We know that they’re roughly the same age, Johnny being 16 when he got his powers and Peter being 15 and these things happening fairly closely together. Peter comments very shortly after he’s married that he’s been out of high school for five years, which would make both him and Johnny roughly 23 when they respectively tied the knot. Alicia is labeled during Byrne’s run as three years older than Johnny, but it should be noted that Byrne has a habit of making women younger and putting them in relationships with much older men – which would track if it’s his opinion Alicia first met Ben when she was 19. (It’s my personal belief that she should be older than that, but that’s neither here nor there.) We have no idea how old Lyja is in comparison to Johnny. So he’s young, and the relationship escalates very quickly, which, looking at it with the retcon in place, makes sense, because Lyja is on a mission to infiltrate the Fantastic Four. So it’s quick. The marriage, the Skrull reveal, and the ensuing melodrama lasts… a while after that.

Then the big reset button that was Heroes Reborn got hit after Fantastic Four #416 and Johnny and family were shunted off to a pocket universe for a little bit, sans Lyja. Fantastic Four v2 is the first look we get at a more playboy-ish Johnny Storm in line with, say, the Chris Evans version of the character – older when the accident hits instead of being a fresh-faced teen, a bit irresponsible, comes off a little bit like he might be a dog. But this reboot canon can’t really keep it up: it reunites Johnny and Crystal temporarily, and then everyone gets snatched out of their alternate reality bubble and planted back in their regular timeline anyway.

So let’s look at Johnny’s relationships after his marriage:

1) Alysande “Caledonia” Stuart: A young woman Johnny found and rescued in another dimension who lived with the Fantastic Four for a while. I’m including this even though it isn’t strictly a romantic relationship – Johnny appears to have feelings for Alsyande, but it’s unclear if they’re reciprocated or if she just feels a deep debt of loyalty to him for rescuing her. Either way, I really like how this relationship is handled; they’re both very respectful of each other in a way that’s missing from a lot of Johnny’s actual romantic relationships. They definitely didn’t have sex.

2) Namorita Prentiss: The first actual romantic relationship Johnny has post-Lyja. This one’s another weird one; Johnny and Namorita first get together after teasing the paparazzi and commiserating about being famous. They then proceed to spend next to no time together. Seriously, like, to the point where the books remarks on it:

(Fantastic Four v3 #55)

Johnny and Namorita do do things like attend celebrity functions together, so I label this as Johnny’s first “publicity” relationship – less about being in love, and more about him and the other party looking really good together for the public eye. (This is also something he never did before his marriage.) Anyway, they break up off panel, although Johnny did apparently ask Nita to move in with him at one point, which she refused.

Kourtney: A second and much more prominent “publicity” relationship. Kourtney is a supermodel who we’re first introduced to when she breaks up with Johnny when the Fantastic Four go broke and he falls out of public favor. They do get back together for the duration of Marvel Knights 4, and then they apparently break up again. Nothing to write home about in this relationship – she and Johnny don’t really appear to actually like each other all that much, especially on her end.

We enter a relationship deadzone for Johnny as we hit Waid’s run. He starts it off apparently shaking off a bad celebrity breakup, and while he goes a bit moony-eyed over a few pretty girls at the beginning, basically nothing happens. He at one point meets up with a girl from the internet who claims to be a fan of his and things seem like they might get romantic… except his body language really is screaming the opposite:

Fantastic Four #514 – I’m not saying how much of this was intentional or even what the intent was, but if there’s something a comic book artist should be good at conveying, it’s body language. Here Cole’s is aggressive – leaning in, touching his face – and Johnny’s is closed off – hands in his pockets, leaning away from her. It’s just interesting if we’re supposed to believe he’s hot for this girl.

Anyway, Cole turns out to be the Wizard’s daughter, catfishing Johnny to find a solution for her unwanted superpowers. So. That lasts two issues and nothing happens between them.

Psionics: And now we enter Millar’s run. Millar’s run is probably the biggest contributor to Playboy Johnny – not only does he have an ill-advised sexual affair with a superpowered bank robber named Psionics, he also gets walked in on – apparently – about to have a threesome with two girls cosplaying as Storm and the Scarlet Witch. I’ve had a problem with the cosplay scene for a while now, because it just doesn’t fit with Johnny’s 616 personality. Something about it has always felt very off. And while I could just go “well it’s Mark Millar,” it occurred to me on a recent reread what’s wrong with it: it feels staged. Johnny’s in the middle of filming a reality show; the camera crew is who walks in on him. If he was trying to cultivate this playboy image, well, one way to do it is to make sure you’re walked in on in a compromising situation. He and the girls are all still fully clothed, and he actually ditches the scene as soon as they’re discovered – to congratulate Ben on his engagement, but still – while the girls frankly seem more interested in each other. It’s a weird scene still, but there’s nothing in it either way to say he was or wasn’t setting it up to make it look like he was the kind of womanizing carefree celebrity party boy who has threesomes with hot cosplay girls while not actually doing that.

As for Psionics, the hot bank robber he sleeps with? Well, turns out her family from the future kidnaps him and uses him as a giant power battery in a machine that has a good chance of killing him. No bad feelings or anything, though.

Again with the awkward body language. He certainly just stands there while she kisses him. This is the exact opposite of smoldering passion. Also, next time he sees her she tries to kidnap his niece, kills his longtime family friend Alyssa Moy in front of him, and then gets murdered right before his eyes. So. That all happened.

He has one apparent would’ve-been one night stand in Hickman’s run after this, except she turns into a bunch of bug monsters and activates the Negative Zone portal. He also has a highly implied brief sexual relationship with Daken Akihiro at this point, who… uses that connection to make Johnny feel horribly guilty over Daken’s apparent death and then so Daken can steal a weapon from the Fantastic Four. There’s a weird pattern here.

Darla Deering: The last and most recent of Johnny’s publicity relationships – Johnny starts seeing Darla, a major pop star, sometime after his experiences in the Negative Zone. This is another “they’re in a relationship but they don’t spend any time together” fling, too – at the end of the relationship, when Darla’s gotten together with Scott Lang, Johnny actually admits that he liked dating Darla because of Darla’s celebrity lifestyle more than he liked her.

Here we hit Robinson’s run. Johnny does a lot of partying after he’s lost his powers, and while it’s not explicit, there’s something of an implication during this point that he is sleeping around. However, his most serious relationships in this run are with his family, Wyatt Wingfoot, and Peter Parker, and he has no consistent romantic partner.

Which brings us to his last serious relationship: Medusa. This one’s a weird one, too, and it’s one where I’m not hesitant to blame the writer’s lack of research at all when Medusa and Johnny were genuinely very close during her stint on the Fantastic Four team. It’s clearly a placeholder relationship – we know Black Bolt/Medusa were going to get back together. If anything, I think here Johnny’s holding onto a piece of his then-missing family the only way he knows how.

So, a couple of relationships post-marriage, but by in large, with the exception of Namorita where we see hardly any of their actual relationship on page and perhaps Medusa, nothing serious. Certainly nothing like his impassioned “head over heels” falls for Crystal and Frankie Raye. So there’s very definitely a change in Johnny after Lyja and in how he behaves in romantic relationships – the implication that he does have casual sex, the uptick in relationships that are clearly for the public eye, a lack of a previously held deep devotion to his partner. I think you could make a really good case for all this coming about as a result of lingering and unaddressed trauma from Lyja.

There’s also, and this isn’t explicitly romantic, the appearance of this little quizzing game:

(Fantastic Four: Secret Invasion) This actually is Lyja in her only appearance since FF #416, disguised as Sue and trying to convince Johnny that Ben is a Skrull for… well for nothing good, obviously, but the book never actually gets into why she’s attempting to separate Ben from Johnny, except that separating him from his family is exactly what she tried to do before she was discovered to a be a Skrull during their “marriage.” But it’s telling that when Johnny feels like something isn’t right, he immediately starts quizzing “Sue” about things she should know. Definitely seems like the kind of game someone who unwittingly married and was abused by a shapeshifter would invent to make sure that the people in his life are really who they’re supposed to be.

So I definitely think there’s a lot of lingering trauma there that, if a really good writer dug into it, could inform a lot about both the romantic relationships he had after that point and his romantic future, especially if it was paired with a story where he explores his romantic feelings for men. It’d be interesting to see it doubled up with doubts after his relationship with Daken in that regard, since Daken also used him to gain access to the Fantastic Four. I’d love to see it all really gotten into and actually, for the first time, addressed, especially if it was in the context of a romantic relationship with Wyatt Wingfoot, who was present during the early days of Lyja’s seduction of Johnny and is also who Johnny ran to after he discovered the truth about the monster Lyja told him was their child. A lot of history to get into there.

#johnny storm #marvel comics #long post/#traincat talks comics #*replies #Anonymous

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broomballkraken · 5 years

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Title: Never Really Over, Chapter 1: Never Forget You

Fandom: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Pairing: Sylvain/Lorenz

Word count: 2570

Warnings: None

Summary: Count Gloucester vehemently opposes Lorenz’s relationship with Sylvain, going so far as to threaten to disown his own son, and that causes Sylvain to make a heartbreaking decision in response. When a year passes and Lorenz receives devastating news, he will have to decide for himself if going along with his father’s wishes is worth losing his one true love forever.

“Sylvain, please button up your shirt. Did you forget that I am introducing you to my father today? You must look presentable.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a bunch, babe.”

Sylvain snorted to suppress his laughter as an absolutely sour look crossed Lorenz’s face. They had just arrived at the Gloucester estate, after saying goodbye to all of their friends at Garrag Mach and making the journey through the Alliance. With the war over, Lorenz had much to speak to his father about, but the first thing he wanted to do was to introduce him to Sylvain, his new fiance.

“Here, allow me.” Lorenz said, stepping closer to Sylvain to button his shirt, while Sylvain combed his hands through his wild orange hair to try and tame it.

“Thanks, babe. That’s sweet of you.” Sylvain purred, stealing a kiss from Lorenz’s lips before he could pull away, causing the latter’s face to flush. Lorenz couldn’t help but smile, though, eyes sparkling with adoration as he gently took Sylvain’s hands in his.

“You, my darling, are the sweetest of them all.” Lorenz said, and it was Sylvain’s turn to blush madly. Lorenz’s fingers roamed over Sylvain’s hands, stopping when they brushed over the golden engagement ring on his left ring finger. “I am excited to be introducing you to my father as my fiance. He can be rather...difficult at times, but I am sure that he will approve of us being together. You are an exceptional, noble man who is hard not to love.” Sylvain barked out a laugh.

“Really? You used to hate my guts, remember?”

“...I was young and foolish back then.”

“Yeah you were. You could have missed out on a catch like me if you didn’t come to your senses!”

“...You are insufferable.”

Sylvain laughed again when Lorenz pushed him up against the vanity and kissed him roughly, hands moving to grasp at his waist and tangle in his hair. Sylvain groaned and clung to Lorenz’s back, his tongue eagerly pushing passed Lorenz’s teeth to mingle with his own.

“H-Hey,” Sylvain breathed when Lorenz finally pulled away to trail kisses along his jawline and neck, “You’re messing up my hair.”

“Mmmm,” Lorenz hummed against Sylvain’s skin, causing the latter to shiver, “Your hair was already a mess, my dear. It truly is a wonder that anyone takes you seriously as the heir to House Gautier.”

“Well, you’re the one marrying me. I’m surprised that you’d risk your reputation like that.” Sylvain teased, winking when Lorenz chuckled and lifted his head so that he was looking him in the eye.

“It is well worth the risk, Sylvain. I certainly will never find a man or woman that I adore more than you.” Lorenz said, his voice dropping to a whisper as he caressed Sylvain’s cheek with the back of his hand.

“Aw, Lorenz, you’re embarrassing me…” Sylvain said, smiling as he rest his forehead against his lover’s.

“I cannot help it, darling. You look so endearing with a blush on your cheeks, and that sheepish smile never fails to send my heart a flutter.”

“Heh, I can think of something else that’ll send your heart a flutter…”

“Oh? Please do enlighten me, love.”

“With pleasure.”

Lorenz’s eyes slid shut as he waited for Sylvain’s lips to meet his again, but they were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Lorenz pursed his lips in annoyance as he turned to look at the door.

“Come in.” he said, and a timid-looking maid opened the door, quickly bowing as her eyes stayed fixed on the floor.

“Count Gloucester has returned from his outing, s-sir. He is waiting for you in his study.” she said quickly. Lorenz straightened up immediately and nodded.

“Ah, good. Thank you. We will be with him shortly then. You are dismissed.” As soon as the words left his mouth, the maid bolted from the room. Sylvain snickered while Lorenz sighed and shook his head.

“My father is far too hard on his staff here. They are all scared half to death of him, and of me.” Lorenz mumbled. Sylvain smiled softly and took his hand, entwining their fingers together as he placed a quick kiss on Lorenz’s cheek.

“It’s alright, babe. I know you’re a big softy on the inside.” Sylvain said, laughing when Lorenz’s face scrunched up, “You’re father sounds pretty scary though. I may not survive my first encounter with him.”

“Please, Sylvain. You make it sound like he is a monster or something.” Lorenz said, rolling his eyes, “He may be intimidating, but he is reasonable...most of the time.”

“Alright, I’ll take your word for it.” Sylvain said, and the two men left the room and made their way to Count Gloucester’s office. They stopped outside the door as Lorenz finished fussing with Sylvain’s clothes and hair. Sylvain rolled his eyes as Lorenz cleared his throat and knocked on the door.

“Father? It's Lorenz.”

“...Enter.”

Lorenz shared a glance with Sylvain, who shot him a wink that made a small smile cross his face. He opened the door and they both stepped inside.

“Ah, Lorenz, welcome back.” Count Gloucester said, not looking up from his paperwork. Lorenz had been away fighting in the war for quite a while, but his father had not changed a bit. Garen Laurentius Gloucester was a proud man, completely dedicated to his role as Count. It was something that Lorenz admired, even though they rarely saw eye-to-eye on how to rule the County of Gloucester.

“Thank you, father. I am glad to see that you are doing well.” Lorenz said, taking a slight bow in respect. Garen still hadn’t looked up from his writing, and Lorenz frowned. His disinterest was really nothing new, but it never failed to make Lorenz feel slightly deflated. Sylvain was quiet at his side as he took Lorenz’s hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

“Yes, yes. Unfortunately, the end of this blasted war has only increased my workload. Already the lesser noble houses are fighting over the rights to the territory near the Great Bridge of Myrddin…” Garen mumbled, sighing deeply as he set his quill down and finally lifted his gaze to meet Lorenz’s. Lorenz straightened his posture, an uncomfortable feeling prickling up his spine as his father eyed him with a judgmental look. Garen’s head turned as his attention went to Sylvain, and his eyes narrowed.

“I see you have brought a guest with you.” Garen said, his eyes flicking to where Lorenz and Sylvain’s hands were joined, and a deep frown appeared on his face.

“Ah, yes.” Lorenz said, smiling as he took Sylvain’s arm and pulled him forward. “This is Sylvain Gautier, the heir of House Gautier of the former Kingdom.” Sylvain bowed his head politely.

“It’s nice to meet you, sir. I-”

“I know who the Gautier family is. What is he doing here?” Garen interrupted, completely ignoring Sylvain, whose eyes narrowed at the rude behavior. Lorenz glanced back and forth between them, and he hesitated when he saw the familiar look of anger on his father’s face.

“Um, well,” Lorenz said, clearing his throat to try and chase the unease that was building deep within his gut, “we are-ahem-that is, I have come to announce our engagement, father. With your blessing I would like to-”

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“I...I beg your pardon?” Lorenz asked, blinking in confusion. He flinched when Garen slammed his hands on his desk as he shot out of his chair, the furious look on his face shocking Lorenz into silence and making his eyes go wide. Sylvain took a step backwards, his hand quickly falling from Lorenz’s.

“As heir to House Gloucester, you have an obligation to find a noble woman to marry, Lorenz, so that you can produce a suitable heir! I don’t know how you ended up with a man, and a Kingdom man at that!”

“But father, the Kingdom no longer-”

“No! I will not allow this!” Garen yelled, slamming his hands on the desk again. Lorenz paled as a lump formed in his throat. Why...why was this happening? He felt like he was having a horrible nightmare that he could not wake up from.

“Father, please...I love Sylvain, and he loves me too-”

“Love? Love has nothing to do with your obligations and responsibilities as heir to House Gloucester!” Garen sneered, “If you neglect to properly perform your duties, I will be forced to take...drastic actions.”

“B-But…”

“Be a good son and find a noble woman to marry,” Garen said, condensation dripping from his voice like venom, “or I will be forced to strip you of your entire inheritance, and disown you from House Gloucester for good.” Lorenz recoiled backwards, as if he had been physically struck, and what little color remained drained from his face. He barely heard the sound of the door slamming behind him over the roaring of his heartbeat in his ears.

“F-Father...You cannot possibly be serious…”

“I am always serious, Lorenz. You should know that by now.” Garen said, huffing as he sat back down in his chair. He picked up his quill and pressed it to a piece of paper, his eyes drifting back up to Lorenz. “Your...friend seems to have seen himself out. Do be sure to send him on his way as quickly as possible.” The icy tone of his father’s voice sent shivers down Lorenz’s spine, and his eyes widened when he finally realized that Sylvain was no longer in the room with them.

“Oh no...Sylvain!” Lorenz exclaimed, gasping as he turned on his heel and ran out of the room. He sprinted down the hallway, narrowly avoiding barreling over a few servants, and he threw open the door to his room. A quick look around told him that Sylvain had been here, as his belongings and travel bag were no longer intermingled with his own. Lorenz cursed under his breath and ran back out of the room, his destination being the stables.

‘No no no, this is not happening!’ Lorenz thought, his heart hammering in his chest as he tried to keep himself from descending into a full-on panicked state. He made it to the stables just as the sky opened up and it started raining steadily. Lorenz paused when he was inside to catch his breath, and he looked up to find Sylvain about to mount his horse.

“Sylvain!” Lorenz said, rushing over to his lover and grabbing his arm. “What...Where are you going?”

“I’m going home. Back to Gautier territory.” Sylvain said, his tone unreadable as he stared intently at his horse. Lorenz’s heart felt like it had turned to lead and dropped into his stomach.

“I-I don’t understand-”

“It’s over, Lorenz!” Sylvain yelled, yanking his arm from Lorenz’s grasp as he turned on him, his normally beautiful brown eyes marred by anger and hurt. “I’m leaving you.” Lorenz stared at him, eyes wide with disbelief, his brain unable...no, unwilling to process what was happening right now.

“But-But...I love you, I want to be with you. I...surely I can convince my father to-”

“It won’t happen.” Sylvain interrupted, scoffing as he turned around and mounted his horse. “I can already tell that your father is set in his ways and won’t change. And I won’t let him just cast you out like that.”

“Sylvain, just listen to me-”

“I know how important your nobility is to you, and I know how important I am to you. It’s an impossible choice to make, so I’m making it for you.” Sylvain said, bidding his horse to move so that his back was to Lorenz, “It was stupid to think that we could ever live a happy life together...that we could ever make us work.” The whispered words hit Lorenz like taking multiple gauntlet punches to the gut, and his eyes welled up with tears as he reached out a shaking hand towards Sylvain.

“Please, Sylvain,” Lorenz choked out, tears streaming down his face as he prayed that this final, desperate plea would not fall on deaf ears, “Please...I...I love you so much...d-do not leave me.”

“Lorenz…” Sylvain’s voice cracked as he tightened his grip on the reins. He glanced over his shoulder, a small smile on his face that did not reach his watery eyes, “T-Thank you...for always loving me for me, and not just because I have a crest. I’ll...I’ll never forget you.” He didn’t wait for Lorenz to respond as he bid his horse to move, galloping out of the stables and into the pouring rain.

“Sylvain, wait!” Lorenz screamed as he sprinted after out after him. The rain had gotten even worse, stinging as it pelted his face with help from the whipping winds. He knew it was a vain effort to try and keep up with a horse on foot, so Lorenz could only watched helplessly as Sylvain got farther and farther away before disappearing into the distance.

“No!” Lorenz let out an anguished wail, and his foot slipped in the mud and sent him face-first into the ground. Lorenz pushed himself to his knees with trembling arms, his eyes unable to focus as he stared blankly at the ground. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Why was this happening? Sylvain...the man that he loved most in the world…he had actually left, and left for good.

Unable to contain his feelings of sorrow, Lorenz started screaming at the ground, the sound barely audible over the howling winds and torrential downpour. Hands clenching into fists in the mud, Lorenz’s fingers scraped roughly against rocks and other debris. He felt no pain from his mangled nails, however. The gross reality of losing the one he loved the most overpowered the pain and all of his other senses as he continued screaming against the storm surrounding him.

Lorenz did not know how long he sat there, stuck in the mud by the crushing weight of his anguish, but he eventually cried himself out and forced himself to his feet. He was left soaked to the bone and his hair clung messily to his face, and his legs were stiff and shaky as he struggled to stay standing. His throat had gone raw and his breathing hoarse, while his aching eyes were sore and puffy. A trembling hand went to clutch at his chest, right over his heart. His heart...his completely and utterly shattered heart.

Another choked sob escaped from Lorenz as he stumbled back to the house and immediately went to his room, ignoring the inquiries from the concerned maids in his trance-like state. Locking his door behind him, he collapsed onto his bed, not having the strength or will to clean himself up beforehand.

Turning onto his back, Lorenz grabbed one of his pillows and pressed it against his face, screaming into it as another fit of devastating misery coursed through him. He prayed that he would wake up and this would have just been a horrible nightmare, but deep down, he knew this was indeed his nightmarish reality. As exhaustion finally took hold and forced Lorenz to sleep, his final thoughts were of the indisputable fact that his chance at living a happy life filled with love was over, and nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever change that.

#fire emblem three houses #lorenz hellman gloucester #sylvain jose gautier #sylrenz #sylvain/lorenz #i'd like to formally apologize for bullying my purple son #also count gloucester die challenge #fanfiction #jade writes fanfiction

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flashingcursor · 5 years

Text

Fic: Tell Me You’re Joking

Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Loki Rating: Teen. Warnings: No powers AU. Word Count: 3,994 Square Filled: Blind Date. Summary: Darcy and Loki haven’t had a date in a while for various reasons. Jane and Thor think they’d be perfect together so they set them up. A/N: @marvelfluffbingo Alright so like with my last bingo card I thought I’d kick things off with some Tasertricks. Ironically, anonymous had prompted Tasertricks - Blind date in my ask around summer 2018 when I last opened my ask to prompts. So why not? This also serves as a fill for my fluffbingo card on Dreamwidth with the prompt first date. I got a three in one hit go me. Somehow in the writing of this oneshot and AU, Darcy became Tony Stark’s daughter. Which is a trope I kind of dig in Darcyland, I just never had a story that lent well to that particular line of thought.

Fill for my First Date prompt on my Fluff Bingo Card. Marvel Fluff Bingo Masterlist Read on AO3

“Please tell me you’re joking?” Darcy bursts when Jane finishes.

“What do you mean?” Jane asks with a confused look for her friend's disbelieving response.

“You set me up?” The intern starts, “On a blind date with your boyfriend’s younger brother?” The disdain drips from her voice as she enunciates each word.

She loves Jane don’t get her wrong. Loves that the astrophysicist is happy with her hulking blond beefcake of a man. He helps drag Jane from the lab at decent hours, though both have terrible eating habits no matter what happens. Both her and Thor are all too content to live on processed sugar and coffee and it makes Darcy’s stomach churn at the thought.

“When you say it like that it actually sounds sort of bad. But he’s exactly your type and you’ve both been having terrible luck on the dating front.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow at her friend. “Terrible luck on the dating front?” She says the words slowly, maybe they would sink in for the older woman on the other side of the lab.

“You can’t tell me Ian was a good idea in retrospect,” Jane breathes putting her work aside for the first time in the whole conversation, her work forgotten. Boss lady wasn’t going to like that she was going to need to rerun the model she set up, but it serves her right for dropping a bomb like this on Darcy.

“Not the point. Maybe I’m happy in singletown right now.”

“Are you happy in ‘singletown’?” The air quotes clear in her voice.

“Happier in singletown than I will be on that date you set up for me.”

“Just go, give it a try. If you don’t enjoy yourself, I will let you boss me into eating and sleeping without complaint.”

Darcy raises an eyebrow at her, “Can I have that in writing?”

“Brother, I have wonderful news,” Thor boasts entering the library in their family estate.

Loki places his thumb between the pages of the book he was reading and glances toward his older brother and eyebrow raised in question. Thor had a hard time keeping things to himself when he was in such an exuberant mood. If he didn’t say anything and just let him speak, his brother would explain why he was so pleased with himself.

“You aren’t going to ask me what it is?” Thor asks when the silence stretches too long.

“You asked Jane to marry you and she said yes,” Loki responds flatly.

“Not yet, but mother helped me secure reservations for dinner next month at The Skyline.” Thor’s shoulders droop a little that Loki would think he’d jump so far ahead of himself when there was still so much to plan for the proposal. Shaking his head, he smiles at the slim dark-haired young man waiting.

The younger son of Odin can feel a headache forming. His brother can be a bit dense at the best of times. He was also capable of sharing the intelligence of a rock at the worst. But in the years since childhood and the transition into adulthood, Thor had grown greatly. His selfishness tempered, his cruelty near entirely erased after Odin nearly cut him off two years ago. For almost two years Thor had to live like the average citizens of the United States and find a way to make it work. It had done wonders for his older brothers’ temperament, he’d even gained a surprising amount of wisdom.

“Shall I start guessing then?” he asks replacing his thumb with a bookmark and setting the book on the coffee table, his expression bland. He’s glad Thor is so happy in his relationship with Dr. Jane Foster. As it is he’s still amazed the woman has managed to outlast Sif’s passive-aggressive attempts to drive her away and their mother’s false sweetness in the early months of their courtship.

“No need. You have a date in a week with Jane’s best friend.” Thor explains looking pleased with this development.

Loki blinks owlishly at the hulking at his brother, a date? With Jane’s best friend?

“And I am to do what exactly?” He wishes he could summon the energy to be annoyed, all he can summon, however; is bewilderment. HIs happy self-centered to a fault brother was setting him up with his girlfriends closest friend.

“Go on a date,” Thor says it slowly as if the meaning is obvious.

“No.”

“Brother, please!”

“I said no. I have no interest in having my older brother find me dates. I’m perfectly capable of doing it on my own.”

He doesn’t wait for Thor to try to convince him, Loki sweeps by him intending to leave the library. Instead of walking past as he normally would though, Thor catches his wrist and pulls him up short. His eyebrows raised at Loki's claim as if to say they both knew his words for the lie it is. Not that he would say as much aloud after his time away.

“Just meet the girl. If it doesn’t work out, you’re free to leave.” Thor gives him his best beseeching look and Loki’s frown deepens. Like their father, he doesn’t explain why it is so important that he go on the date. Knowing the happy couple, he was likely to be Thor’s best man at the wedding and if she is as close to Jane as Thor says, she’d be the maid of honor. Pinching the bridge of his nose and inhales deeply, he is in no mood for the lovebirds playing matchmaker.

He might be known for spinning tales and crafty stories to get what he wanted or manipulate others, but he had nothing on Thor’s earnest manipulations. The way he made you want to do what he was asking because it would do nothing more than make him happy. It worked best on their mother and Sif, and Loki had thought he’d long ago grown immune to the look. Apparently, that was not the case as he sighs.

“Fine. Where am I to meet this girl?”

Thor beams as he rattles off the address for a chain restaurant that skirted the line of middle-class fancy and casual and Loki wonders if he just agreed to some horrible punishment for some prank Thor finally realized he pulled. His green eyes narrow at his brother. He looks far too pleased with his acquiescence to the request. That never bodes well in the long term.

"If you think I’m going to like her you’re sorely mistaken.” Loki snaps.

“Of course, I would never think such a thing. I just wish to see you have a good time away from your books for one evening.” Thor agrees his mouth spread into an amused grin as he walks away, hands folded behind his back.

In the end, Jane does put their agreement in writing, Darcy will have free reign in determining the length of lab activities for a week if she doesn’t have a good time on her blind date. Once the agreement is carefully filed away in Darcy’s shoulder bag, she tilts her head at Jane.

“So how am I going to know his brother from every other Joe Schmoo in the place?” She asks.

She made it a rule when Thor and Jane started dating that she wasn’t allowed to google anything about Thor’s family. The general idea is that if she didn’t look them up in the media, she would be able to develop an opinion of the hulking blond that made her friend blush like a school girl on a regular basis. For the most part, that rule has worked perfectly well for Darcy. Overall, she finds Thor to be a good guy, a little goofy, somewhat ridiculous, and very larger than life in attitude and action, but a good guy.

“I forgot you haven’t seen a family photo. I’ll get back to you on that.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve a rose and a favorite book, I will probably be okay with it,” she flips through a few pages of notes only half seeing the scribbled contents, “And just how fancy is this place going to be? Like do I need to buy a new dress for the occasion or is the black number I wear to faculty cocktail parties going to be fine?”

Jane makes a vague grunt of acknowledgment which means she’s already back in work mode. Sighing Darcy settles in for long hours of transcription and data entry. Her friend would get back to her eventually. As things stand now she's leaning toward her black cocktail dress. Knowing Jane and Thor they were going somewhere nice but also low-key. Her cocktail dress was perfect.

A week after agreeing to the insane idea of taking Jane’s best friend to dinner, Loki pauses in his research to find a slew of texts waiting for him on his cell phone. The notification light flashing a brilliant green demanding his attention. Giving up on ignoring it, he picks up his phone and checks his texts. All of them from his brother.

How would you prefer Darcy recognize you? Brother? Loki are you there? Loki this isn’t funny.

Sighing heavily Loki pinches the bridge of his nose. Did no one respect the workload of a Ph.D. student? He had work to do, there wasn’t time to be discussing how he was going to reveal himself to Darcy. The entire date wasn’t important enough to warrant so much of his attention. Frustrated that Thor was so insistent about the whole thing, Loki responds with the first thing that comes to mind.

I’ll bring her a rose and one of my books. At least if it turns out to be terrible, I can get some work done.

Perhaps something else? She explicitly said she would prefer not to have such items used to identify you.

Then maybe she should pick how I’ll identify her.

Jane says she’ll be wearing a black cocktail dress and a gold necklace with a jade pendant.

The colors catch Loki’s attention. He’s always preferred black, gold, and green. At that thought his eyes narrow at his cell phone. His long fingers typing out another message to his brother.

Did you tell Jane what colors Darcy should wear?

No.

Truth.

I did not. She picked them herself.

For a moment he stares at his phone unsure of what to say. She picked those colors herself. No coaching. It could mean she liked them herself, it wouldn’t be strange. Plenty of people liked those colors together. But it felt too pointed to be natural. Not that it stopped him from trying to visualize what she would look like in them.

Very well. Tell Jane I’ll meet Darcy out front at 7 pm sharp.

Of course.

He can almost hear Thor’s pleasure in those two words, and it makes him scowl as he returns to his work. Twenty-four hours to go and he would find out just what made his brother think this girl would be a good match for him. And probably prove how wrong he was.

On the day of the date, Jane somehow manages to wrap up on her own. She nearly forces Darcy from the lab, with some half-baked excuse that she had dinner plans with Thor that she couldn’t miss. The harried actions and the way she wouldn’t meet Darcy’s eyes when she asked why she hadn’t told her about this date spoke volumes. Jane wanted her out of the lab and getting ready for her date. Heaving a heavy sigh, Darcy packs up more to humor her friend than over any excitement for her approaching date.

The actual process of getting ready seems to drag by. Setting up your friends on blind dates when they aren’t actively looking for someone to date takes all of the fun out of getting ready. The usual excitement missing, there are no flutters in her stomach making the whole process robotic and she finishes a full hour before she needs to leave. It’s enough to make Darcy think she shouldn’t get excited about dates at all if it makes her hair and make-up cooperate for once.

Her hair styled into careful waves over her shoulders and down her back. Her eyes rimmed in thick black lines of eyeliner that wing at the outer corners of her eyes. She's looking fine if Darcy does say so herself.

She paces her apartment after that. Thumbnail between her teeth as she attempts to reign in the desire to chew on the nail. Her frustration with the whole situation serving to make her stomach twist. Not helping.

Going into the kitchen she gets a glass and pulls a bottle of ginger ale from the fridge.

“I could stay home, tell Jane I got sick.” She mutters to herself as she fills the glass halfway with the soda. Her eyes flicking to the amber liquid in thought. It wouldn’t be a complete lie if she texted right now. She did feel terrible and it wasn’t nerves.

Taking a sip, she leans a hip against the counter, “If I do blow him off I’ll never hear the end of it.”

God, she was losing it if she was debating herself in her kitchen. Draining the glass, she sets it down and goes to get her purse. If she has time to act like a crazy person, she has time to leave and give it a try. She has an agreement to enforce, and she's looking forward to bossing Jane around for thinking she needs help getting a date.

Pulling out her phone she pulls up the messaging app.

Call me fifteen minutes into the date to give me a convenient out. I will not forgive you if you don’t.

You sure about that kid?

Very.

How will I know you don’t need it?

I won’t answer.

Fair enough.

Satisfied that her “dad” would help for once, she shoves her phone back into her purse and leaves. It was better than the endless memes he sent about the blind date for the last week. She doesn’t know how Pepper puts up with him sometimes, but she gives the woman credit for it every day. That woman is a god damn saint in Darcy’s book.

Loki sweeps across the sidewalk outside the restaurant for the fifth time. She’s late. He’s watched no less than fifteen couples go inside and six different women. None of them wearing a black cocktail dress with a gold necklace and jade pendant. He swears if she stands him up after he actually showed up (with minimal cajoling from his brother at that), he is going to be livid.

“If you’re Loki I deserve a refund just for showing up,” a voice states with a click of heels.

“You’re late,” he shoots back as he turns to look at the speaker.

He isn’t struck by her beauty. Nothing so mundane. She’s pretty, she put effort into her hair and make-up. She’s shorter than he imagined given his brother's stories, but the heels help close the otherwise large gap in their height. Her necklace rests peacefully on her chest the jade pendant stopping just above her ample cleavage. His gaze quickly shifts up before she can correct him. Something about the way she’s standing with hand on jutted hip screams she would in less than a heartbeat.

“What were you doing timing me?” She asks her lips twitching like they want to form into a smirk.

“It doesn’t matter, shall we?”

She gives the restaurant a once over and shrugs, “May as well.”

Her easy nonchalance comes as a surprise. Based on her greeting he would think she didn’t want to be there any more than he did. But the way she heads for the door like a woman on a mission, he comes up behind her and pulls the door open a little wider as they press into the lobby.

“You have a back-up plan don’t you," he presses a little closer than strictly necessary to whisper in her ear.

“Of course, I do. You probably do too. You scream planner.” She replies stepping to the hostess station, “Hi we uh called ahead under Odinson.”

The hostess looks relieved and her smile goes from polite disinterest to genuine. “Of course, it’ll be about ten minutes.”

“Cool thanks,” Darcy replies and turns to come nose to chest with her date. Her eyebrows rising in curiosity as she tilts her head back. She bites back the sassy comment about getting too close. The lobby was quite full so she was willing to give him a little wiggle room.

“I scream planner?”

“Don’t get offended. Every family has to have at least one. Though based on stories, the only one that doesn’t really plan in your family is Thor.”

“He does have a way of running headlong into everything.”

“That he does. Do you,” she waves her hand between them, her fingers grazing the soft dark material of his button down as she does, to illustrate he should move.

“Sorry.” He takes a step back.

“Mhm.”

Darcy walks away and takes a seat on the bench along the wall as they wait.

“What’s your back up plan?” He asks after she’s settled.

She grins leaning back into the cushion of the seat. He can’t help but return it, her attitude is almost infectious. She might be unhappy about the arrangement as he is, but she seems to enjoy toying with him. Add that she has a plan to escape the situation much as he does, doesn’t even seem to mind that he does, and Loki is suddenly much more intrigued by her. More than he was when she walked up.

“Is this one of those ‘I’ll-show-you-mine-if-you-show-me-yours’ situations, because honestly, that tends to go over better when I’ve had a couple of drinks and have a decent buzz going. Remind me to stop feigning enjoyment for Jane and Thor when they drag me to burger joints.”

“Stop feigning enjoyment when Jane and my brother drag you for burgers,” he responds, she laughs, and it isn’t one of those ‘wow-that’s-so-lame’ kind of laughs. He amused Darcy by responding with equal amounts of sass as she gives.

Either way she doesn’t respond at first, and Loki remains quiet. He can wait out his most stubborn tutors and professors, he can wait out one young woman that his brother is fond of and routinely refers to as his sister. The prolonged silence doesn’t appear to faze her at first, but after a couple minutes of them staring at each other and then pretending not to look at each other at all, she starts to fidget. Her hands go from her lap to her hair, to sitting on the bench at her thigh, back to her lap, and finally crossing her arms under her breasts when the hostess call them.

“Odinson, party of two.” The hostess announces and Darcy is on her feet, brown hair swaying about her shoulders as she crosses the small lobby to the hostess station once more.

The hostess smiles at them and leads them to a table in the back, the lights just far enough away to create a romantic atmosphere. There’s a small tealight on the table already lit and flickering as the hostess places their menus across from each other on the table.

“Your server tonight will be Angela and she’ll be right with you,” the hostess states before leaving them to figure out what comes next on their own.

Darcy starts shrugging out of her dark coat.

“Let me help you,” Loki offers moving behind her he takes her coat from her and hangs the coat on the hook at the top of the booth before she can protest. His own follows a moment later and he slides into the far side of the booth. His back to the rest of the patrons his head cocked to the side waiting. His mouth turned up into a cocky smirk as she studies him.

“Keep that up and I may reevaluate my desire for a refund,” she quips taking the open seat across from him.

“Sounds like a challenge.”

“And if it is?”

He leans forward until the table stops him and his smirk widens considerably, “Consider it accepted.”

Her eyes widen and he watches how she swallows like something he just said was particularly enticing. Too bad there was a table firmly between them. He wouldn't mind discovering how else she might react to him.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get the chance as her phone starts ringing. A low gravely almost computer sounding voice growls ‘I am Iron Man’ as guitars start in the background. His brow furrows in confusion as she pulls the device out of her purse and clicks a button on the side before laying it face down on the table, silent once more.

“Do you need to get that?” He asks leaning back.

“Back up plan.” She says simply with a shake of her head as their server comes up.

“Hi, I’m Angela and I’ll be server today. Can I start you with anything to drink?” The perky blond server asks.

Darcy has a bemused expression as she orders without ever taking her gaze from Loki’s, “Water with lime please.”

“Coffee please.”

“Alright, I’ll go put these in and give you a few more minutes to look over the menu.” The server leaves and Loki tilts his head at Darcy.

“Your back-up plan was to get a phone call fifteen minutes after we were supposed to meet?”

Darcy is starting to answer when his own phone starts ringing. His cheeks flushing as he works to get it silenced before it disturbs the dining room. Perfect timing.

“Need to get that?” Darcy asks a self-satisfied smile plastered to her face as she leans back.

“It’s just an alarm.” He hisses as the ringing goes silent.

“I’m sure. So are you going to bolt on me or are we both in agreement to see what happens next?”

“Let’s see what happens next, shall we? I’d to be accused of not giving things a legitimate chance.” He pauses as their serve returns with their drinks.

They ask for a few more minutes before ordering. Loki leaning forward in his seat and Darcy does the same her grin mirroring the one he can feel splitting his face. She is beautiful he realizes once he stops trying to dismiss her. Now that he’s paying attention instead of thinking about his thesis project. And if he was gauging her reaction correctly just as much interested in a little payback at her friends as he was.

“What do you say to telling them that it was a terrible date?”

“Sounds like an idea I can get behind.”

“Excellent.”

Dinner goes well. As they eat the pair plan all the ways they plan to convince Thor and Jane that it was a horrible experience. They start simple, keeping the beginnings as close to what happened as possible. Mixing truth with fiction was the easiest way to remember a lie, a fact he was pleased to see that she was already familiar with as they talked.

When they finish, Loki lingers. She lingers. He couldn’t remember feeling quite like this before. The last time a person caught his interest like this was a long time ago. Getting up from the table he picks up her coat and holds it out to her to help her put it on once she stands.

“Can I drive you home?” He asks putting his jacket on.

“No, I’m good, but you can call me tomorrow if you’ll give me your phone.”

“Of course.”

Handing over his phone he watches her type in her phone number and her name. Red-tipped fingers returning his phone to him.

“I’ll do that.”

“You had better mischief. Otherwise, our little prank will be very real.”

“I promise Darcy.”

#marvelfluffbingo #tasertricks #darcy lewis #darcy x loki #darcy lewis x loki #axkerti writes #fanfiction #oneshot #first date #blind date #fluffbingo #rated: teen #these two kill me sometimes

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dearmadartist · 6 years

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For @nekkyousagi mostly. A character reference sheet of my Sengoku BASARA OC Harumi. Really basic info: Harumi Age 19 Dark Brown Hair Dark Brown Eyes Pretty plain in terms of figure. No outstanding bust to hips to waist ratio. She’s pretty flat chested to be totally honest and dresses in a very traditional, modest style so nothing gets shown off anyway. Her hair reaches to her waist and the style does vary between being pulled back or just being worn loose. She has rough, work-hardened hands from years of field work, cooking, laundry, etc but she takes good care of her nails. (Clean and filed!) She’s a few centimeter’s shorter than Masamune (brow height?). A very hard working young woman. She’s dedicated to fulfilling a wife’s role in a household - making sure chores are done, a hot meal is waiting, and that the home is orderly and in harmony when the Lord returns.She holds the unfortunate mentality that her worth is measured in how well she takes care others and the estate, and that basic necessities like food, shelter, and clothing must be earned through hard work. (This mentality, fortunately, is broken by Date Masamune and Katakura Kojuro, but old habits are hard to break and it takes a great deal of time). During her time in Oushu, her stubborn streak begins to show (of course.) She cares deeply for the well being of those around her, and wants to lessen their burdens even if it means over-burdening herself. She has the utmost respect for Masamune and Kojuro, and despite their rough exteriors, believe them to both be kind, hard-working people. She absolutely loves children and her dream is to be a mother. History: She grew up in Mutsu and her father, Imamura Takei was “friends” with Katakura Kagenaga. Takei was a trader who dealt a great deal with foreigners and put himself in a pretty good, middle standing. This lead to Harumi’s arranged marriage with Omura Ginmaru, a very minor, minor Lord. A short time after they were married, Ginmaru’s discontent with the young Lord of Oushu reached its peak and he abandoned his lands, people, and Harumi in order to join the other clan rebelling against Oushu in an attempt to gain power and fame, and hopefully raise his status. When Date forces finally descended on her home, chasing after Ginmaru, Harumi was spared in no small part because of the relationship between her father and Kojuro’s. Due to their inability to completely trust her intentions or loyalties, Harumi was given the ultimatium of serving as a formale hostage of Oushu until the situation could be cleared up. From there, Harumi acted in the only manner she knew how . . . cleaning up after boys. Relationships: With Masamune: They tend to get on each other’s nerves. Masamune doesn’t wholly trust Harumi and finds it difficult to do so. He doesn’t like her touching his things or messing with his kitchen. They’re both stubborn and tend to get into a lot of petty arguments. Harumi is traditional and modest while Masamune is . . . loud and obnoxious. Despite this, Harumi still sees Masamune as a kind, respectable man who has ensured the peace and survival of Oushu. Masamune calls her “Sparrow” to pick on her. With Kojuro: Despite how close both of their father’s are to each other they don’t know much about each other. Harumi knows only as much as anyone who has heard of the infamous “Ryuu no Migime.” She sees Kojuro as a fiercely honorable man, though not nearly as horrible as his reputation would make one believe. They get along smoothly, and in truth Kojuro is relieved to have a little help around the castle. Though he also wishes Harumi wouldn’t feel so compelled to take care of them.

#oc: Harumi

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snips-kryze · 5 years

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Marriage Story - Thoughts

Last night I saw Marriage Story and I'm still in shock. I loved it, more than I could imagine, and has left my head spinning that I had to come here to express what I feel with this movie (sorry for my english I am actually spanish lol)

- First, I want to say that the performances are impressive. Adam Driver, I don’t know what else I can say, everyone said it was amazing what he did in this movie and I of course I believe it, but seeing it is something else. What has made me feel, the two times I've cried have been with him, the scene where he sings, the feeling, his expressions ... Sublime. With Scarlett, I’m more surprised because I haven't paid as much attention as with Adam, but I think her performance is also incredible, the monologue she has with Laura Dern and her interpretation in the fight scene deserves all the recognition as well.

Now I'm going to focus exclusively on the plot, because I have many mixed feelings (and not because I didn't like it, but because I just don't know how to feel about the characters and their motivations)

Although I have concluded that none of the characters were correct, I cannot deny that I have empathized much more with Charlie. This is why I will talk about each character separately to try to reach a conclusion

From the beginning I could not connect with Nicole. I understand her frustration, her desire to pursue her dream and and I fully understand that she wants a divorce. Having your husband laughs at you when you are telling him about your new project with which you are very excited, after feeling for so long that you have been in his shadow and that you have not managed to take off as a person and artist, it is horrible. Not to mention his infidelity, which I will discuss later. So far I understand Nicole, and she has every right to pursue her dream, in Los Angeles or wherever. Now comes everything I do not understand. She says she went to New York, engaged to another man, and met Charlie and never returned. She made the decision to stay in New York and give up Los Angeles, you can't put that in your partner if deeply you regret that decision because it was YOUR decision. No one separated you from LA, you got married there, your son was born there, your whole family has always been in LA. That you deep down would like to live there again doesn't mean it's fair. You made a decision to settle in New York with your husband, you have based your life on that site and in the end it is your home, I do not see that thought of Nicole who seems to think that Charlie dragged her to New York and separated her from her house and her family, I just can't see it. Then, even though Charlie is very selfish, Nicole does not fall behind. Accept the pilot, ok, he takes his son who has always lived in New York, takes him out of his school and his life, decides to take the judicial process, one who agreed with Charlie not to start, in Los Angeles. It does not seem to me that at any moment she has in mind how this can affect Henry's relationship with his father, that he has to be going from one end of the country to another, seeing him the minimum. Don’t forget that Charlie had just got his play performed on Broadway, an achievement just as important as your pilot, and you're making him have to choose between his job and his son when you (Nicole) didn't have to. To the conclusion that I arrive with respect to Nicole, and all based on my personal experience, is that when love ends, you tend to see everything bad in your relationship, it is a kinda what Charlie says in the fight " You love your life until you decide you hate it "; I do not fully agree with this statement, it was clear that Nicole was not at all happy and that she looked like an extension of her husband, but I think that what failed is the communication, to express that, she needed to feel fulfilled outside of her circle and its theater, but could not. And when the problems began, love was not enough. I think Nicole, when she is no longer in love with Charlie, paints a much worse relationship than she really was, and I rely on the things she wrote in the What I love about Charlie letter, she really loved him and had been happy in New York, but love can't cope everything, and years of shutting up what she felt made it explode. And I believe a little in my mind of hopeless romantic, that if they had talked things before they could have fixed the relationship, with Charlie staying with his theater and Nicole with his series. But that is something that I think and that maybe does not make much sense.

Now we go with Charlie. It is likely that if Adam Driver had not interpreted this character he would not have been able to empathize with him so much, but I will try to separate my love for the actor from his character. I sympathize with Charlie in his role as father. Having your wife take your child thousands of kilometers away is not easy. But he accepts it. That your wife wants to stay there and take your child to live is another matter. And I think his fight there is justified. I would feel the same, added to how the relationship with Henry is changing. It is true that Henry wants to stay in Los Angeles after moving, and that must be respected because the important thing is the child's well-being. But I don't know if it would have happened if Nicole hadn't taken him from the beginning. Had Henry shown wishes before he wanted to leave NY? He didn't like his school or friends? It is something that we are not told. Charlie's life falls apart, his life as far as he has known no longer exists, and that happens in all divorces, is true, but going from having a family to the possibility of not seeing your son I think is different. That's why Charlie is so clinging to stay in NY, because although his marriage can no longer be saved, he does not want his family, and remember his only family, to disappear. Charlie has no parents or siblings who support him like Nicole, he says he has always felt Nicole's family as his own family, and when he divorces he loses everything. Losing your home in NY with your son is not as easy as to say, we have lived these years in NY now we go to LA. Or so I see it. That last scene just breaks your heart. See how his photos are gone, his mother-in-law who was so attached to show that same affection to Nicole's new boyfriend (which is normal, but anyone would feel hurt).I felt so devastatedin the scene with the woman who was deciding on the custody, and annoyed by the fact that we didn’t get to see the same scene with Nicole, I think it was necessary. It is not clear to me if in the end his play manages to reach Broadway, I want to think that yes, he returns to LA a year later so in that year he may have been representing it. I don't want to keep that feeling that Nicole "wins" as her lawyer says: Henry, boyfriend, Emmy, etc. The fact that Charlie decides to take a job in LA, and the way he gets emocional reading the letter, shows that in the end he was just a man trying not to lose his son: He needs to know that I fought for him. Of course, Charlie is not perfect and he certainly has not been a good husband. I think Charlie was so obsessed with triumphing and showing himself that he could get his dream without help, leave an abusive home, that he didn't know how to take care of his wife. He could not see that her wishes were not being fulfilled, that she had become the woman of, the girl who was in that movie, who without her support could not have reached where he was. To make fun of his wife with his pilot, or to ask her to invest the money in the theater, seems cruel to me. And his infidelity; I believe that no infidelity is forgivable, or I would not do it, but if there is something that came to me and it is that in the fight Charlie tells Nicole that she should not be bother by the sex, but the fact that he share a laugh. And that is true, somehow. I believe that the worst thing about an infidelity is not sleeping with another person; sex is sex. But sharing moments, laughing, being happy with another person who is not your partner, that's the worst. That Nicole took a year without wanting to sleep with him or making him sleep on the couch is not justification, much less, but it is proof of the lack of communication they had. Charlie has not been a good husband, but he never stopped being a good father and it broke my heart to think that in the end he could end up losing his son.

In short, I believe that none was wrong, and none was right. It is a story that breaks your heart, because you can see two people who loved each other very much, but cannot continue together. One person, Nicole, who has spent years wanting something else for her, feeling small next to her husband. And Charlie, a man who has made mistakes, who has loved his wife but without knowing how to prove it to her, who has not known how to see more of his own personal desire, who loves his son with all his heart, and who realise everything when it's too late. One day after seeing it I still think about this movie and I think I will spend a lot of time like this, this story has stayed with me, made me laugh, cry, and it broke my heart. Thanks, Noah Baumbach.

Someone to hold you too close Someone to hurt you too deep Someone to sit in your chair And ruin your sleep And make you aware of being alive

#marriage story #adam driver #charlie barber #noah baumbach #scarlett johansson #nicole barber #henry barber #netflix

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bornpariah-a · 7 years

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SIGNIFICANT PEOPLE

A thought ran through my mind recently: we know some of Dorian’s backstory, but what about the SPECIFICS? He had no actual friends apart from Felix for the bulk of his life, but there really must be some significant people who had had an impact on his life. Naturally, I already have plenty of thoughts regarding these people and who they could be and the effect that they have on Dorian’s life, and I suppose you could call them NPCs. For the most part these are based on people that have been mentioned in-game who I have decided to expand upon, simply just to give further insight on Dorian’s life pre-game. Do note that, apart from names and basic information, none of the information in this post should be considered canon. This is all entirely based on MY OWN HEADCANONS, and bear in mind that the pictures shown above are just representations for these characters. That being said, below the cut is some more information!!

RILIENUS TALVAS. ( quiet, academic, rational, hopeless romantic. ) So, anyone who plays the game with Dorian and Cole in your party a great majority of the time know some about Rilienus. Rilienus, skin tan like fine whiskey, cheekbones shaded, lips curl when he smiles. —— He would have said yes. In my headcanons, Rilienus is a Laetan who attended the Vyrantium Circle whilst Dorian attended when he was around the age of fifteen/sixteen. When they met they hit if off, in some ways, mostly by way of the fact that they were both scholarly and enjoyed academic pursuits. They would often spend time with each other in the circle library, combing over various books. There were a great many times that Dorian tutored him when Rilienus was lagging in one aspect of magic or another. They spent a great amount of time together and became something like friends, though Dorian doesn’t really CONSIDER IT friendship in hindsight. At that point in time, Dorian was still determined to make his father proud ( this pursuit was strengthened by the fact that he had moved through many of the circles in tevinter, already ) and he did not personally view Rilienus as a friend. He was motivated by Rilienus’s beauty to show him kindness and Dorian fostered something of a HOPELESS CRUSH ON HIM, not that he acknowledged it at the time. Rilienus likely also fostered something of a crush on Dorian, in return, Something tender intermingled with a brand of hero worship, due to Dorian’s talents. Shortly before Dorian had been EXPELLED from the Vyrantium Circle for getting into yet another fight, the sudden question of “may i kiss you?” popped into his mind unbidden when he had been spending an afternoon with Rilienus in the library. Shortly thereafter, Dorian had a minor breakdown and fled the library and they were never alone again before he was expelled. In present time, insofar as canon goes, he has married and has a small family and is an Enchanter of the Vyrantium Circle and is generally happy.

LIVIA HERATHINOS. ( cut-throat, intelligent, stubborn, cunning ) Dorian mentions to Varric that his parents very much wanted him to marry a woman named Livia Herathinos. Obviously, their parents wanted them to be betrothed to be married and imagined the two of them having a very, very powerful mage baby. To elaborate: in my mind, Livia is an Altus whose father is a Magister, and she has magical skill which is essentially on par with Dorian’s. Given their respective magical abilities and the fact that they stood out from their peers as a result, the Pavus and Herathinos family were VERY INTERESTED in the child that they would breed together. Livia and Dorian spent some time together when they were children, wherein they got into an excessive amount of trouble together. Blowing things up for the sake of blowing things up sort of trouble. They both attended the Carastes Circle when they were children and, at the time, somewhat tolerated each other. For the most part they argued and competed against each other. Livia stayed in the Carastes Circle throughout all of her studies, whilst Dorian was, naturally, transported through pretty much all the Circles in Tevinter. Their parents often tried to push them together at just about any and every party that they attended, to which they were consistently horrible to each other, which got worse as they got older. Livia tried to have Dorian killed multiple times, though clearly no attempts succeeded. He did the same to her, quite frankly. Honestly, they made an attempt to get along when they were younger, albeit a weak one, but it just failed as they got older. They actually admired each other, deep down, for their respective magical abilities and for their personalities, and likely would have made TERRIFYINGLY GOOD FRIENDS if things had worked out differently. The type of friends that no one ever wanted to see together, because nothing good would come of it. Their last point of contact was at a party whilst Dorian was Alexius’s apprentice, wherein they exchanged barbs. Not even thinly veiled. Nonetheless, these days Livia is already married and has given birth to a daughter, who is definitely a mage, whom she loves deeply. She doesn’t care much for her husband.

SERAPHUS ABREXIS. ( resentful, insecure, focused, resourceful ) Son of Ulio Abrexis, whose estate Dorian was abducted from in canon due to a scandalous affair between himself and his son, who I named Seraphus. Dorian and he studied together at the smaller Circle in Minrathous, ran by the Order of Argent. The two of them had very little contact when they were younger, but Seraphus deeply envied Dorian for his magical talents, as he had slightly below average talent when it came to magic. In general, he hated the circle that he had to attend due to its strict adherence to the Chantry and often found himself frustrated because of his status. He was the first person who tried to kill Dorian, a decision that he made purely due to his irritation, and because he had his assassin mention his name when trying to kill Dorian, by the time that he arrived at the Circle at the age of seventeen/eighteen he had already hyper-focused on Seraphus. Their relationship was one of INTENSE RIVALRY, at least on Seraphus’s part. On Dorian’s part he was mostly just amused by Seraphus. Which served to anger Seraphus even more. Just before Dorian fled the Circle, Seraphus demanded that they meet and have a duel, to which Dorian showed up to. And soundly beat Seraphus. They ended up fucking that night, and Seraphus was the first man that Dorian ever fully slept with. They had no contact for several years thereafter. The next time that they met, Dorian was about twenty-five and in the midst of grieving over the Alexius family, and was generally drunk at the time. All the time. Seraphus was to be married soon, yet he and Dorian began an illicit affair that went on ( and went probably too far ) until Dorian was abducted by his family’s men and put under house arrest. The scandal reflected badly on Seraphus, as well, and nearly jeopardized his eventual marriage. The relationship between Seraphus and Dorian wasn’t particularly simple nor healthy, considering the premise and the fact that Seraphus CONTINUED TO RESENT DORIAN in spite of being attracted to him. In return, Dorian just didn’t think very much of Seraphus, apart from him being attractive and a good lay. To say they hate each other is a stretch, honestly. Nowadays Seraphus is unhappily married and to whom his father’s seat in the Magisterium is going to is unknown, to his despair.

SORREL. ( realistic, determined, sly, enigmatic ) This is a character of my own creation with no technical basis in canon. A male elven prostitute with whom Dorian spent a significant amount of time with, and not purely just to sleep with him. Though that definitely happened. In the time after he ran away from the Order of Argent’s Circle, Dorian spent a majority of his time with Sorrel, because they were —— SOMETHING LIKE FRIENDS. Not quite, given the nature of their relationship, but they got along well enough. Being incredibly attractive, Dorian enjoyed sleeping with the man, but Sorrel also offered a great source of conversation, and they talked often nearly as much as they fucked. Sorrel is charismatic and intelligent and Dorian would often default to spending the night with him whenever possible, paying him handsomely. They never properly breached any PERSONAL TOPICS, but Dorian supposes that he came to care for Sorrel and for the place that he worked. Enough so that he defended it multiple times against people who wanted to take advantage of any of the employees. Dorian became affectionately known as their resident mage and Sorrel was just about as fond of Dorian as Dorian was of him. Their relationship was not anything beyond platonic with rather frequent sexual trysts, as they had no romantic interest in each other. Dorian had been with Sorrel the night that Gereon Alexius came across him, and returned to visit him on a more or less low key basis after he had been taken into the Alexius family’s fold. After his fall out with Alexius, Dorian returned to Sorrel, though they did not sleep together. The last time they slept together was some time during Dorian’s time as Alexius’s apprentice. When he was fleeing Tevinter, Dorian considered seeing Sorrel one last time, but he dismissed the idea rather quickly. He has WRITTEN HIM, a few times, but does not consider them friends, by and large because of their power imbalance. These days, Sorrel is still a sex worker, but after Dorian returns to Tevinter he gets a mysterious benefactor who never sees him nor visits the house, any longer.

#( ∞ ┈┈ headcanon ) SOMEWHERE IN THE HISTORY BOOKS.#[ this look me a lONG TIME and i am prOUD OF THIS SO YOU BETTER BET YOU'LL SEE ME REBLOG THIS ]#[ also please read this i am begging you tbh ]#[ i actually wrote an in depth headcanon for once in my life like. my god. this is unprecedented. ]

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adorkablephil · 7 years

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Fic: Happily Ever After 5 (Answers)

Title: Happily Ever After Rating: Teen (for Dan’s language, as usual) Word Count for This Chapter: 3K Summary: Dan proposes marriage, but Phil’s reaction isn’t quite what he’d been expecting or hoping for. Genre(s): Angst, Fluff, Established Relationship, Marriage Proposals, Gay Marriage, Commitment, Relationship Issues Author’s Note: This chapter focuses on the very sensitive, deeply personal topics of homophobia, biphobia, and the internalization of both/either of these. I’ve tried to treat those topics with respect and hope that readers will forgive me if I’ve unintentionally written anything insensitive. I wanted to focus here on the pain these prejudices can cause everyone involved. The next chapter will address how and why Phil developed these feelings, but this chapter focuses only on the feelings themselves and their impact on individuals and on relationships. The fic as a whole is about how committed, loving couples can work through difficult problems together. Also available on AO3 here

[Masterlist of all “Happily Ever After” chapters on Tumblr]

Chapter 5: Answers

Dan was confused at first about what Phil was trying to say. “So when you were younger you figured you’d grow up and marry some nice girl? How disappointingly heteronormative of you, Phil.” He was half-joking, but also a little disturbed to learn that Phil had bought into such societally prescribed expectations at some point in his life.

Then the penny fell.

“Wait,” Dan said slowly. “Wait. So … are you saying … are you saying that’s what you still want?”

Phil grimaced. “No! I mean, I’m not with a girl. I’m with you!”

“But you want to marry a girl? Eventually?” Dan’s entire chest was seizing up, and the guilty look on Phil’s face was only making it worse. He felt like he might faint or vomit or just run screaming out of the room. Then it all became horribly, horribly clear. “That’s why you were so freaked out when I proposed. Because … because you would never marry me. Because I’m a guy.”

“I never really thought about it that way!” Phil insisted frantically. “I just … when you asked me that on the beach, I realized that it wasn’t what I’d pictured. And I didn’t know what to do. I panicked!”

Dan stared at the coffee table and said dazedly, “So you’ve just been shagging me for the past several years, passing time while you waited to meet the right girl so you could settle down like you always dreamed?”

“No!” Phil shouted, looking aghast. “I was never looking for anyone else! I love you, Dan! You know I do! You’ve never doubted it before, and nothing has changed. I still love you, you still love me, we’re still together…”

But Dan interrupted, his anger rising as the shock receded, “But never the way you wanted, right? Because I’m a guy. And that doesn’t fit your pretty little socially acceptable picture of what marriage looks like. Right? Two guys, getting married? Does it seem wrong, Phil? Does it turn your fucking stomach?”

“No!” Phil shouted again. His face was bright red. Dan noticed it the way you notice these things. These things that don’t matter to you because your world has been turned upside down. Phil’s face was red, his mouth contorted, so fucking what?

Phil was talking. Dan heard him in a hazy sort of way. “It’s just that I like both guys and girls, and it just made more sense in the long run, if I was going to get married, to go with a girl. Just … simpler.”

Dan nodded slowly. “And that’s what marriage is about for you? Going with what’s simplest?”

Phil threw his hands up. “I don’t want to get married at all! I told you that! I’m with you, and I want to stay with you, and I love you, and I thought we were happy together, I thought we could stay happy like that forever, and that’s what I wanted. That’s what I still want!”

“Just not marriage,” Dan replied, and his voice was calm now. The rage had sunk deep inside him, so deep that none of it showed anymore. It was his own private inferno. “Because that’s only for men and women.”

“I didn’t say men couldn’t get married…” Phil began hesitantly, but Dan interrupted.

“Just that you wouldn’t want that. But you would want to marry a woman. Because you feel like marrying a woman would be okay, but marrying a man wouldn’t.”

Phil bit his lip, looking the most uncomfortable Dan had ever seen him.

Dan continued, the rage roiling silently beneath his words, “So, somewhere inside you, somewhere, you really believe that straight marriages are more valid than gay ones. That’s what you’re saying.”

“Just for me,” Phil said quickly, then seemed to realize what he’d said and clenched both hands into his hair. “Dan, listen to me…”

“I think I’m done listening to you, Phil. Because you disgust me.” Dan spat the words, his anger growing out of control, rising toward the surface and bursting through.

Phil paled. “Dan, no, I love you. You don’t understand! It’s just … I can’t help the way I feel…”

Dan’s voice was hard and cold when he said slowly, “Yeah, well, that thing you’re feeling?” He looked Phil in the eyes and let all his harsh emotion show in his face, “We call that fucking bigotry, Phil.”

Phil’s head jerked back as if Dan had dealt him a physical blow. His eyes were wide. Wider than they’d been on the beach. The beach where Dan had asked Phil to marry him with such blind excitement and certainty, the beach where Phil had apparently been horrified because men were good enough to fuck, maybe even good enough to love, temporarily, but not good enough to marry. God, he’d been such a fool! He’d been with Phil all these years and never seen it, never seen that this man who supposedly loved him so much was a fucking homophobe.

Dan stood and turned to go, but Phil jumped up to grab his arm. Dan shook him off, snarling, “I can’t even stand to look at you right now, let alone have you touch me.”

He stalked around the lounge, picking up his coat and phone while Phil watched him in helpless, horrified silence. When Dan got to the front door, he turned to look at Phil, feeling nothing but righteous indignation and pain. “You aren’t the person I thought you were,” he said, purposely trying to hurt Phil the way Phil had hurt him. “You aren’t the person I loved.” And then he walked out the door and slammed it behind him.

He didn’t even really pay attention to where he was walking for a while, just striding along the pavement with his thoughts churning and his heart cold and dead as a stone in his chest. He ended up in some sort of park—he hadn’t even realized there was a park anywhere near their flat, so how far had he walked?—and he threw himself down on a bench, panting, raising his head to stare up into the night sky.

On their various visits to the Isle of Man, he and Phil had stargazed many times. There was little light pollution near where the Lesters lived, and the sky at night was a marvel of spangled beauty. This London sky suited him better, he decided. With all the city lights, no stars were visible at all—just the black abyss of space.

That’s what he felt like inside. Cold and dead and empty and just … darkness.

Sure, he was upset about what Phil had said as it pertained to him personally, how it made him feel like a placeholder, just helping Phil pass the time until he found someone—a female someone—with whom he might be able to imagine getting married.

The fact that Phil couldn’t even conceive of wanting to marry Dan.

Dan, who had been so sure that Phil was as committed to their relationship as he was, so sure that Phil would accept his proposal with unhesitating joy.

Dan, who Phil would never want to marry.

Dan, who hadn’t understood anything.

Dan, who was so completely fucked.

But he was upset about more than just himself, because this issue, the thing that had him so blindingly angry and made him feel so betrayed, was bigger than just him.

Dan had never really felt comfortable labeling his sexuality, but he had no problem admitting that he found both men and women attractive. He couldn’t imagine having a problem feeling attracted to someone who identified outside that binary construct, either. He was attracted to people, not genitals. It had pretty much always been that way, though it had taken him a while to fully understand and accept it.

Phil had been a big part of that process. He’d already openly identified as bisexual when Dan first met him, though he’d become more private about his sexuality as his channel had grown in popularity and shrunk in average viewer age. But back then, he’d been older and wiser, and he’d really helped teenaged Dan start to believe that maybe it was okay if he didn’t just like girls. That there was more than one way to be, that he didn’t have to judge.

Those early lessons he’d learned from Phil had started him on the journey toward who he was today and the strong feelings he had about a wide variety of social issues, including LGBT ones. Dan was passionately committed to equality for all people—regardless of their gender, their sexual orientation, their religion, the color of their skin, or any other supposed “difference” that haters used to separate “us” from “them.” He saw no “us” or “them” … and so, to him, there was absolutely no difference between a straight marriage and a gay one. The importance was the love and the commitment, not the gender identity of the two parties involved. Finding out that Phil was prejudiced in this way rocked Dan to his very foundations. It actively offended him, because it disrespected all gay and bisexual people and their relationships, which Dan found literally abhorrent.

For Dan, this wasn’t just about what he and Phil chose for the future of their relationship—it was also about how they each saw the world and what their values were. And he suddenly felt like he didn’t even know who Phil was anymore, whether Phil was even a person he could respect, let alone love.

He no longer knew whether Phil was someone he would even want to marry, even if Phil were to accept his proposal now.

What made it even more mind-boggling to him was that Phil could feel this prejudice against gay men marrying, when he himself was bisexual! He’d never seemed to have any hesitation about being in a relationship with Dan, not just sexually but romantically. For years, he had lavished Dan with love and support, kindness and encouragement, respect and admiration. He’d shared every success, every triumph, every wonderful moment that memories were made of. Dan thought of that first PINOF, his longtime idol sharing the limelight with an unknown kid who dreamed of being a YouTuber. He remembered Phil rushing him to the hospital and staying with him when he got sick in uni. He remembered their first night in the Manchester apartment, when he felt like an actual adult for the very first time, because Phil had suggested that they live together. He remembered the night they realized they’d finished writing the very last page of TABINOF, realized that the book was officially done, and how they had danced around the living room whooping like lunatics. He thought of all those nights together with confetti raining down on them at the end of each TATINOF performance. He remembered Phil calling him up to the podium at the BONCAs, taking what should have been his own private moment of recognition and accomplishment … and preferring to share it with Dan. And as he remembered all these moments of connection and mutual support and partnership, he realized that he’d maybe let his anger get the best of him tonight.

Phil loved him. Now that he had calmed down and thought about it more rationally, he could see that. Phil loved him in a way no one else ever could, just as intensely as Dan loved Phil in return. They had gone through too much making this work, had learned to communicate and compromise and tolerate the little differences that were just part of who they were as individuals. This wasn’t a little difference. This was a huge fucking difference. But maybe they could still get through it somehow.

They were meant to be together.

But just staying together wasn’t enough for Dan anymore, not now that he’d realized that he wanted a real commitment. He wanted to marry Phil, and he didn’t want it to be a compromise. He wanted Phil to want to marry him. He couldn’t stand to believe that Phil actually saw things the way he’d said, and he didn’t think he’d be able to stay in this relationship if Phil didn’t change his mind at least about the concept of gay marriage in general, even if he didn’t want to marry Dan.

But something inside him, some little voice of hope, some little voice that grew out of all those happy memories, said that maybe Phil did want that. Just maybe. It was worth some calm discussion, at any rate.

A long time ago, Phil had helped that mixed-up teenaged Dan deal with a lot of confusing feelings, helped him find his way and figure out who he wanted to be and what he wanted to do with his life, helped him figure out what things were important to him and what things were crucial.

Back then, Dan had been struggling, and Phil had been there to help. Maybe now it was Dan’s turn to return the favor.

Meandering back toward the flat, unsure of his path and just traveling by instinct, Dan thought to himself that loving someone isn’t a choice, and the fact was that he loved Phil for the person he was, the good and the bad. And this prejudice of Phil’s, this self-destructive judgment of the very love he valued in his life … this was a part of Phil. A very problematic part, a part that still pissed Dan off, but still a part of the person Dan loved, and so he should have treated him with more respect when the issue arose. He should have talked to him, explained his own thoughts and feelings, clarified why he was angry, and listened to what Phil had to say in response. Phil seemed confused and distressed over this sudden realization, so he should have tried to help Phil sort out what he was feeling, the way Phil had done for him so long ago. He should have trusted in the strong partnership and mutual respect they’d built over the years.

Instead, he had called Phil a bigot, told him he didn’t love him, and stormed out of the house.

Yeah, great fucking relationship skills there, Danny boy.

So when he finally found himself climbing the stairs to their apartment, his tread was slow and heavy. He dreaded the confrontation he would face when he opened that door. He was still a little pissed off, but willing to talk. He didn’t know whether Phil would even consider that or if his prejudices were set too deep.

But instead of a confrontation, what he found was Phil sitting on the sofa, head in his hands, sobbing. He looked up immediately when the door opened, and he flinched when he saw Dan. That flinch made Dan want to slap himself silly. He should never have done anything, not anything, to make Phil afraid of him in any way, not even just emotionally or verbally, no matter how angry he’d gotten. He’d never felt such shame.

Dan smiled ruefully and jumped right into it. “I was an ass. I’m sorry. Are you still willing to talk with me if I’m willing to listen?”

Phil was wiping tears from his face, but he laughed at Dan’s words, a relieved and exhausted little hiccuping sound. “God yes.”

Dan came to sit beside him on the sofa and took his hands like he had earlier before saying, “I pressured you to tell me how you feel, and then when you did open up I called you names and hurled insults at you. That’s no way to treat someone you love. Yeah, I’m upset about some of the things you said, and I’m offended by some of it, too, and still a little angry, but I should have talked to you about it instead of just becoming a rage beast. You deserved better than that from me, and I’m sorry.”

Words burst out of Phil like a waterfall of anguish. “I knew the things I was saying were hurting you, but I just didn’t know how else to explain how I feel, and I’d never really thought about it until you asked me and I realized I felt this way, and I know it doesn’t make any sense but it’s still how I feel and I don’t know how to feel about how I feel, and … Dan, it was just horrible. The most horrible thing I’ve ever gone through. Let’s never do that again, okay?” Phil was looking at him with red, swollen puppy dog eyes. But this was important.

Dan replied, “Just to be clear, I want you to tell me how you’re feeling, even if it hurts me or makes me angry. What’s important is us really talking to each other, not hiding things to avoid drama. I want to talk about this whole thing, Phil. I want to seriously discuss it, because it’s an important issue to me, but I want to hear your thoughts and tell you what I think and really talk it through … just all at a much lower volume and with a lot more cuddles.” He smiled, and got a hesitant smile from Phil in response.

Maybe they’d end up getting married, and maybe they wouldn’t, but Dan realized that what was important right now wasn’t the destination. The point right now was the journey, and them making that journey together. And they were on their way back to doing that.

That night they made love for the first time since before the Isle of Man, and every gentle touch upon each other’s skin bestowed reverence, apology, forgiveness, and promise.

[Continue to Chapter 6]

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #angsty phan #phan angst #biphobia #homophobia #internalized biphobia #internalized homophobia #established relationship #happily ever after #myphanfic

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iheartseo · 7 years

Text

imperfect timing || michael clifford

requested: yes

word count: 1.9k+

synopsis: you are his best man and it is part of your best man duties to make sure that the groom is okay and he makes it throughout the ceremony. however, that can be proved a little difficult when you’re being the best man to your ex... i mean... exs can be friends right?

a/n: i feel like i rushed this because it’s a little shorter than my usual imagines/one shots but i also feel like there is still a shit ton of description? gif credits to the respectful owners.

masterlist // writing prompt list

I raised an eyebrow at him as I slouched back in my seat, watching him pace back and forth in his room. His suit jacket was hung over the armrest of the couch and his tie was all loose and crooked. His trousers, of which he isn’t use to all that free leg space, was slowly becoming wrinkled the more he moved about. His hair was slowly turning into a mess the more she ran his hands through them in stress and as if his nails weren’t already short enough, he kept biting and chewing on them.

I sighed, rubbing my temples to try and calm myself down on his behalf.

“Michael, sweetie. You need to calm down.” “Calm down?! It is T-minus like fucken 3 hours before I get married and you’re telling ME to calm down?! I am completely fine!”

I rolled my eyes at his delirium, but I don’t blame him. This was a big step for Michael. Despite his extreme free spirit and his constant burst of spontaneous mixed in with stupid idea, Michael has been searching for ‘the one’ for as long as I have known him. I honestly never met someone who was such a hopeless romantic and believed with all of his large and caring heart, that everyone has a soulmate. Michael Clifford was a hollywood movie cliche, but that was what made him so endearing and he wore his heart on his sleeve.

I got up from my seat and I walked over to the mini fridge provided by the venue to grab out a drink for him.

“You know when you asked me to be your best man, I didn’t realise that the best man had to baby sit the groom. If I wanted to babysit and look after someone who was about to get married, I would’ve been the maid of honour.” I joked, walking over to him and handing him a bottle of water.

He glared at me for a few seconds before quickly softening his eyes and taking the water bottle.

“Michael, you are going to be fine. I promise.” I repeated.

“What if she doesn’t show up at the alter? Or worse… What if she shows up and then she turns around and leaves me hanging at the alter?! Or worse… what if she says the wrong name? WHAT IF I SAY THE WRONG NAME?!”

“What if the sky turns to fire and your nose falls off?!”

“Can that happen?!”

“Michael, you know I was just quoting Pocahontas 2, right?”

“Okay 1) No one ever watches the sequel unless they’re you and 2) you’re NOT helping!”

I laughed softly as I followed him out to his little balcony. I bit my lower lip gently as I watched him lean forward against the railing, taking a few deep breaths in and out before admiring the view.

It was absolutely stunning and honestly, it was the perfect time to get married. The wind wasn’t too windy. The flowers were blooming. The sun wasn’t too sunny and with it setting behind the hills, in just approximately 3 hours, the sun would be in the perfect position to cast a beautiful light through the stained glass windows, illuminating the perfect couple as they say their vows and ‘I do’s. It was indeed, the perfect time to get married. I just didn’t understand why Michael was freaking out so much.

I walked over to him and stood next to him.

“What’s going on? I’ve never seen you this nervous in my life. Not even during the time you played a show out show in MSG.” I said, looking at him with concern.

Michael gulped as he just kept his gaze on the scenery in front of us.

“What if I screw up?” he asked out of nowhere, breaking the peaceful silence between us.

“What do you mean if you screw up? You’re not gonna screw up, Michael.”

“Yeah but what if I do?” he asked, almost not even letting me finish my sentence.

“If I don’t screw up during the ceremony, what about during the reception? The honeymoon? After the honeymoon? What if I do something completely stupid later on in our marriage that will make her want to lose me? What if touring makes us argue horribly? Or what if tour actually makes us comfortable being separated and be without each other that being together is too weird and such a strange concept to our minds that divorce is the only logical solution? What if something goes wrong and it’s my fault, Y/N? What then?”

I looked up at him with confusion, still not completely understanding where he was coming from and why he was feeling this way. I shook my head, still leaning against the railing.

“Michael, you’re just having pre-wedding jitters. It’s completely natural to be scared of the future, just not like this.” I said. “What is going on with you? You’re not going to screw up in your marriage and she isn’t going to leave you.”

“But you did though.”

My eyes widen immediately when those four words fell out of his mouth, without missing a beat. I was taken back by his response that he had rendered me speechless.

“W-What are you on abo---“

“Oh come on Y/N. You possibly couldn’t have forgotten about our plans, have you? We were supposed to get married like this and live happily ever after and love each other forever and always.” Michael said with such passion that it actually broke my heart to remember those plans.

“And then… And then I messed up…” he mumbled, sighing as he looked down and looked back out to the scenery in front of us. I just kept my gaze on him, allowing him to open up and be vulnerable. But also… I was also curious of what piece of our past he was going to bring up again.

“I messed up our relationship… and you left me… And it hurt me, Y/N.” Michael said in a soft tone, turning his head slightly to catch my eye. “It hurt me really bad.”

I scoffed as I shook my head.

“No, we are not having this kind of conversation right now, Michael. Especially on your damn wedding day.” I said, almost growling at him. He honestly had no right to make himself the victim in this situation.

Michael had always had the worse sense of time. He could never really time anything right; whether it was a surprise birthday party, a special date, a first kiss or even a marriage proposal. I was actually surprised that he managed to pull off the perfect marriage proposal to his waiting wife-to-be. His crappy sense of time was becoming extremely apparent especially if he was bringing up our past.

“Michael, we may have been the perfect couple for those 3-4 years and we both may wanted the same things but we wanted them at different times. You wanted to get married and have kids now, I wanted those things too, just… later on in my life. And… And… You just kept pushing the idea of marriage and kids that I just left. I left because I couldn’t provide you with what you wanted and that’s when I realised that we both became two completely different people. Now.. Is it such a crime that you wanted that happily ever after like the books? No. I don’t blame you at all. But don’t you dare think that you were the only one hurt in that breakup just because you didn’t get the happily ever after you wanted with the girl you got comfortable with.” I snapped.

I took a deep breath in and out slowly before I moved closer to him, making him stand up straight. I fixed his hair to a more presentable and more groom appropriate look. Feeling the ironically soft texture of his hair in my hands in an intimate setting was nostalgic for me. I looked into his eyes as I pushed his hair back in a gentle manner.

“We may have been together for a long time and been through a lot together, Mike… and just because we were perfect for the moment doesn’t mean that we were bound to be perfect forever.” I said, in almost a whisper. “Look, I still love you, but I’m not your everything anymore. The woman you are about to marry… She is. And she is going to be everything you wanted and more. And you two are going to be perfect forever, even with your imperfect arguments and fight, you two will still be amazing together. So don’t you dare compare our relationship to the one you have right now, because unlike me… she wants the same things as you at the same time and that’s super rare to find in a partner. Don’t freak out and lose that.”

My gaze was fixed onto his, making sure that every word that rolled off my tongue was being processed and stuck in his mind. I moved my hands down from his hair, feeling the soft material that was his suit. I gulped as my eyes followed my hands. I then reached up to his tie and quickly fixed it for him, making him look just as handsome before his mental freak out.

“She is super in love with you, so no matter what mistake you think you may make, you’re not going to lose her that easily. So stop thinking that you will. You’re a great person who is going to be a great husband.” I said, focusing on his tie.

It was silence between us. I finished off fixing his tie, letting my hands hover and slide down the expensive piece of fabric. It was another peaceful moment between us, but oddly tense considering I did just lecture him to no end.

“You’re doing that thing again.”

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked up at him.

“Doing what?”

“Caring.”

“I’m always going to care about you, Mike.”

“You know what I mean. This is a different kind of caring… It’s the kind that you always use for those who only mean deeply to you because you can’t bear to see them fall. You have such a big heart… That’s one of the reasons why I fell in love with you.”

I immediately started blushing as I looked down. A small smile appeared on my face as I cleared my throat.

“Like I said… I still love you, and I’m always going to care about you.” I said, looking at him.

Michael let out a breath that he was holding in, smiling back at me and nodded his head, as if he was also affirming that he felt the same way about me.

“Now! As your best man, I am obliged to kick your ass if you don’t make it to your wedding, so. Straighten up, quickly go wash your face, put on your jacket, repeat your vows to me and you are all set for your wedding.” I said, holding onto his shoulders.

“Remember she loves you.” I quickly leaned up and kissed his cheek before I started to walk back inside.

“If you need me, I’ll be outside of your room, checking on some other things okay!” I called out.

“Hey Y/N!”

I stopped in my tracks and I turned around to look at him.

“Yeah Mike?”

“Thank you… for everything.”

“That’s why I am your best man instead of your bride. Lord knows how that shit would’ve turned out.” I joked.

Michael chuckled as he nodded his head, licking his lips.

“You’re going to be a great husband, Mike. And a great dad.”

“You too. I mean... the respectful female roles of those two… in the future.”

I couldn’t hold back the small laugh due to Michael’s little slip up. I bit my lower lip as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Maybe… We’ll see.”

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graciepiefinale · 6 years

Text

I dare you not to love this series. It’s that simple really. It is light-hearted, heart-warming, and adorable. The female lead is not only physically strong, but she is just a well-rounded character… not something that you see often on the screen (but it is getting better).

Do Bong Soon isn’t your average 27 year old woman… She has a secret…. She is super strong. A power that is passed down through the matriarchal line in the family; meaning that all the woman in her family, on her mother’s side, had or have this power. However, as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. This power comes with some fine print. If you use your power for personal means (i.e. to gain power, riches) or injure an injure person, you will lose the power and be cursed with leprosy for the rest of your life.

While her super strength is a leading factor in the story-line, it often is just used an addition. Which I love. Her powers move the plot forward but it is not a central focus for every situation.

Do Bong Soon is not the luckiest of people. She is often depicted as not being very smart, and being clumsy. She has gone through various jobs since high school because she makes simple mistakes or accidentally exposes her strength. That is until she is hired by Ahn Min-hyuk, CEO of Ainsoft (a gaming company) as his body-guard after he sees her use her strength to beat up some gangsters. Coincidentally, Ainsoft is the company Bong Soon wishes to work at as a game developer.

You can guess what follows, through working as his body-guard, she develops her skills as a gaming developer and they fall in love, and so on and so forth. It sounds really simply and cliché right? It isn’t though. While it is clear from the get go that Ahn Min-hyuk is attracted to Bong Soon and is quickly falling in love with her, she doesn’t get there as quickly (due to other factors that I will get to later). Their rapport (and the chemistry between the actors) is so natural, that you just know that these two are meant to be.

And while all this is happening, there is a sub-plot that is super intriguing. In the suburb where Bong Soon lives, women are being kidnapped. Bong Soon unintentionally gets involved in the case when she becomes the only one to have heard the culprit’s voice and beats the culprit up whilst protecting her friend.

When I started the series, I was not expecting such an intriguing sub-plot but it quickly captured my attention… It was also used as way to influence the direction of Bong Soon’s relationship with various characters.

The Characters:

Do Bong Soon

Park Bo-young as Do Bong Soon

Our protagonist. She is clumsy, not all that smart, kind and loving. She has a strong sense of justice and just wants to be a normal girl.

She has had a crush on In Guk-doo, her childhood friend, since he first entered her life in middle school (I think it was around that age). She tries to make herself smaller, more delicate and elegant around him because that is what she believes he wants.

She is often told by those around her that she must be good at at least one thing – often referring to her strength. This bugged me a lot during the series, as it was obvious that she had more talents than just being strong. Sure, she wasn’t smart, but she was good person and people warmed up to her easily (when she wasn’t using her strength on them). But more importantly was a shot they showed of her room… it was covered in drawings, which indicates that she was a talented artist at the very least… something that was not commented on at all.

If you look closely, she has sketches placed around her room, clearly showing she has more talents than just her strength.

Ahn Min-hyul helps her control her strength by training her.

Ahn Min-hyuk

Park Hyung-sik as Ahn Min-hyuk

Our first male lead. CEO of Ainsoft. He is charming, cocky and very handsome. He has an intense dislike of the police and prefers to exact his own justice on those who threaten him, those he loves and his company.

His father earned his money through crooked deeds and used that money to pay off the police (which is why he dislikes the police so much). He has three older step-brothers, and is only close to one of them.

He hires Bong Soon as his body-guard after seeing her beat up some gangsters. He needs a body-guard because he is receiving threats and being followed. He and Bong Soon work together to uncover who is threatening him, although Bong Soon doesn’t actually do much.

He decides to train Bong Soon and help her control her strength so that she doesn’t have to fear exposing her powers. The more time Bong Soon spent with him, the more she realised that he was mostly just lonely.

I really loved him as a character despite him being quite manipulative towards to Bong Soon in regards to getting what he wants. Bong Soon often puts him in his place, and instead of being the typical male character who gets annoyed by this, he melts (sometimes physically) and just falls more in love with her.

He also took great pleasure in teasing her about his sexuality. Because he hasn’t had time to date, there were rumors spreading that he was gay. Another reason why he hired a female body-guard. He knew about Bong Soon’s crush on In Gook-du and took great pleasure in making her think that he was interested in him.

In Gook-du

Ji Soo as In Gook-du

Our second male lead. An idealistic rookie detective who is passionate about justice…. But passionate is a bit of an understatement. He has been moved from different stations and departments because he gets a bit too aggressive in his pursuit of justice. I don’t mean aggressive as in he physically attacks culprits, I mean aggressive as in he disregards conventions and doing things in a timely manner in pursuit of culprits. He dives head first into a case without taking his time to judge the situation.

He is currently in a relationship with Jo Hee-ji (a cellist, I don’t really like her). He isn’t the best boyfriend because he is always puts his work first, often forgetting to meet up with her or if they have plans. Ultimately Jo Hee-ji breaks up with him, but because she decided she liked someone else (Bong-ki, Bong Soon’s twin brother).

He dismisses Bong Soon, and scolds her often. He literally makes her feel small for being who she is. Ugh, it really got on my nerves. Like, why did she like someone who was actually pretty horrible to her?

He instantly dislikes Min-hyuk, because of his disrespect towards the police… and this dislike grows as he watches Bong Soon and Min-hyuk grow closer and he realises that he has actually been in love with Bong Soon this entire time. Sorry buddy. Too little, too late.

Do Bong Soon’s family

Ahn Woo-yeon as Do Bong-ki

Shim Hye-jin as Hwang Jin-yi

Yoo Jae-myung as Do Chil-goo

Bong-ki is Bong Soon’s twin (younger) brother. He is a resident doctor at the hospital where Bong Soon’s unintentionally victims land up. He cares for his sister quite deeply, but likes that he is pampers by his mom and sister. After getting Gook-du’s girlfriend help at the hospital, he develops a crush on her and ends up seeing her without telling Gook-du (even after they break up).

Do Chil-goo, Bong Soon’s father, is possibly the only member of her family that truly treasures her. His wife often shouts at him, and threatens to (or actually) hits him. He runs a walnut shop and is very friendly with the customers. He is particularly friendly with Gook-du’s mother, who actually talks to him and seems to respect him.

Hwang Jin-yi…. Gosh, I could not stand her…. Bong Soon’s mother. She lost her super strength after using it to bully others into giving her money. She doesn’t actually do anything but prances about the neighbourhood as if she owns it. She is quite abusive towards her husband and doesn’t actually seem to realise it (or she realises it and refuses to acknowledge it). She constantly puts Bong Soon down, and has never really shown her any love.

She spends majority of the series trying to make Bong Soon marry/sleep with/date Min-hyuk, regardless of her daughter’s feelings. She constantly embarrasses her and dismisses her feelings.

She is very jealous of Gook-du’s mother and hates that her husband is so friendly towards her.

There is actually so much about her that I just can’t stand, but I’m going to stop here before I start ranting.

Ahn Min-hyuk and Do Bong Soon

The last thing I want to chat about is their relationship. Honestly, it is one of the cutest things. And I will try not to give too many spoilers concerning the plot.

Despite Min-hyuk falling in love with her the moment he saw her, he gave her time to develop her own feelings (with a little nudging here and there). He didn’t see her strength as some monstrosity, rather it was the very thing that made her so sexy to him. He fully accepted who she was from that very moment and he didn’t need her to be anything else for him.

Bong Soon took a little time to develop feelings for him, but I think she started to realise how great he was when he was training her and didn’t once accept her apology for her breaking his things (punching bags and furniture). I think he was probably the first person to actually realise that in order for her to reach her full potential, she needed to be able to control her strength.

One of the most important moments in the series (for me) in terms of their relationship, was when Bong Soon had a bomb strapped to her and Min-hyuk could not get to her, and so he stayed by the door and was prepared to die with her. Bong Soon later than says that that was the happiest day of her life…. a strange comment to make when you consider that she was more than likely going to die that day (spoiler, she doesn’t). But when I thought about it some more, I realise why she said that.

All her life, she was made to feel second best to her brother; her crush wanted her to be small, weak and delicate. But here was man who put her first, who would stay with her so that she wouldn’t be alone. So that she knew that she was THAT important to him.

It is also important to note, that Min-hyuk never once disregarded how amazing she was, and how lucky he was to have her.

Every person really deserves to have someone look at them the way Ahn Min-hyuk looks at Do Bong Soon

The OST for this series is also just stellar. Take a listen to my favourite track from it below (note that this video contains scenes and spoilers from the series):

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon I dare you not to love this series. It's that simple really. It is light-hearted, heart-warming, and adorable.

#crime #park hyung-sik #romance #strong woman do bong soon #Supernatural

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forceyourway · 7 years

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Tree of Life Shadow Work Challenge

Day Eleven: “What aspects of my societal influence might I benefit from taking into consideration?”

(Using Loki’s tarot deck, “The Raven’s Prophecy Tarot”)

Page of Coins - A responsible, optimistic person who can make and execute a plan. The Page of Cups is drawn to opportunity, but unknowingly, cheats herself out of it. This is also someone who is carefully tending this tiny, baby thing, that somehow is and isn’t me. I may have a long way to go, but the seed has been planted, and with enough love, it’ll grow into something beautiful. <3

Society - Status, Roles, Standards

Think about the society you live in and how it has shaped you. Are you generally accepted in society? What kinds of status, roles, and standards has it placed on you? How is your current career perceived? What role do you play in community affairs and family relations? How is your sexuality or relationship status judged? What kinds of living standards are you expected to uphold? Do you have any resistance to the expectations that have been imposed on you by society?

I’ve touched on a lot of this stuff already. My field, Early Childhood Education, is considered to be insignificant by pretty much everyone. It’s believed that no education/training is required to care for children, and many will balk at the notion that Pre-K children can be “taught” anything (especially infants). In Canada, where I got my degree, they were for the first time piloting a B.A. in ECE program. Prior, there had been none in the province. Here, there’s B.A. programs all over; the problem is they’re all terrible. The amount of B.A. programs in ECE in the country that don’t suck is less than I can count on two hands, because they’re generally the same as Elementary Education programs. The classes are overwhelmingly focused on “teaching” a subject (”Teaching Math in Early Education” or “Teaching Phonics”), and there is very, very little child development to be had. As a result, even those with degrees tend to be clueless when it comes to child development. There’s rampant child abuse in public centres, and very, very high turnover rates, with many employees being young women waiting to be granted entry into the school system. As such, it’s very hard to find work that is fulfilling, having to dodge child abuse everywhere, and harder still to find anyone who treats me with respect. In their eyes, I’m just their babysitter. Circumstances have forced me out of childcare centres (for the time being) and into Nannyhood, which is truly awful on the respect front. I’ve had parents constantly cancel on me at the last second, or demand I work at the last second. I’ve had parents abruptly decide they didn’t need me, and parents who were months behind on paying me...not because of financial difficulty, but because they “forgot.” I’ve had parents who fought kicking and screaming against my efforts to make a living wage. I still don’t. And a lot of emphasis is placed on housework, which should not be the focus of my work. Society doesn’t like my sexuality, or my religion, and believes I should be married to a man, and serving his every need. Society doesn’t like that I am female and poor.It’s expected that, as a woman, I be ready to cook all dinners, and that my house always be neat and tidy; am impossible task for my mentally-ill self. And my mental illness is unacceptable too; perhaps that is the most unacceptable thing about me. I have a long, long history of being thrown around by the rest of the world. When I went to Catholic school, the first time I was picked on, but not in an extraordinary way. The second, however, the entire place - staff, children everyone - wanted me gone. A variety of situations were cooked up in hopes of achieving this, and each time, I unknowingly incriminated myself, even though I was completely innocent. For example, I was accused of forging my mother’s signature on a progress report. How one was meant to discover this, I’ll never know. The class was shocked, and the girl next to me was saying who could possibly do such a thing?! I said, “I think I know,” but backpedaled when asked to clarify. What I meant was the boy who always seemed to be getting in trouble, but this make me look real guilty. Of course, it wasn’t forced, and my mom was so pissed by the implication that she stormed in and harassed the woman. The second was the time I had a bee stuck in my hair; I had managed to avoid being stung my entire childhood, as I was afraid my grandmother’s deathly allergy come to me. One got caught in my hair one recess, and I was wailing miserably as a teacher tried to take it out. I was later accused of swearing, but did’t.They couldn’t prove I did swear, so I faced no punishment. The last involves a talent show, for which I wanted to sing a hip-hop song. The song I wanted was on a specific CD containing an assortment of songs. and to get it, I’d need to destroy those two units. The music teacher gave me permission to use the CD unripped (he originally wanted to take the words out), uneditied. My audition was pitiful and whimpering, but I didn’t want to be remembered for such. So when the time came, I really threw myself into it, and sounded, of course, totally different. So it was assumed I was lipsyncing, and they wanted me gone for that, but again, couldn’t prove it. In my first college ECE placement, I was working as a sort of student teacher at a childcare centre. The first semester was fine, but in the second, I started noticing a hundred thousand tiny, terrible things. I noticed my mentors’ readiness to set me - and the children - up to fail, their arrogance, and how horribly they treated the “problem children.” I was eventually so bothered by this that I was losing sleep; one day, at 3am or something, I sent my advisor an e-mail explaining that I was so worried about the children that I couldn’t sleep. She arranged a meeting with the director, hoping that she would dispel my concerns, and posed that the meeting stay between the three of us. The director agreed, but when the meeting came, my mentor stormed through the door, with the hugest, most arrogant smile on her face. This was not part of the agreement. Both my mentor and the director started verbally attacking me; I left a few hours later in tears. The next placement, I had at another centre in the infant room. I made the mistake of showing my mentor that I had a green sheet, which means I can have accommodations made for me if necessary. I never used it, but they came to guess what was “wrong” with me. I was accused of rolling my eyes when she spoke, but what was really happening was that I simply looked upward when thinking. Both my mentor and advisor (I had a new one) refused to accept this, and my mentor suggested that “maybe I have an information processing disorder,” and that I should stand in front of the mirror and practice “not rolling my eyes,” or no one would ever hire me. They refused to do a recommendation for me, citing that they “didn’t know me well enough,” when they’d done recommendations for many students before, who were in exactly my position. This finally led to my most-loved professor personally intervening and appointing herself my advisor for my final placement, which she chose herself. When I came back to the States, I worked very briefly in an abusive centre, which was mentioned in a previous post. I was told that satisfying the “customer” (parent) was of the highest priority, and that the needs of the children would come second. I was not okay with this, so I went to another centre. It was...fine, I guess. Deeply unprofessional and chaotic. Several of the staff resented me for not wanting to hang out with them, and one staff member personally hated me and one day let loose a verbal onslaught that caused me to suffer a panic attack (for the first time). The director insisted they’d never put this other person and I in the same place at the same time, but immediately revoked this as soon as the other gave them a fake apology. After this, came Dream Job, which was everything I ever wanted, until it wasn’t. The staff knew from day one I had anxiety, and during a flareup and getting ready for a huge open house where many famous people would be, and working overtime without pay, and working without breaks, meant I was utterly exhausted. I started to disassociate, and my boss unleashed this vicious attack about how she wasn’t sure I could be trusted. Because apparently I was crazy to her. It was a horrifying experience, made all the worse because it was completely unexpected.

#Tree of Life Shadow Work Challenge #Tarot #Divination #Divination Challenges #@unmaskingthedivine #Child Abuse #Ableism

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reign-of-the-wolves · 7 years

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THEM:

Hi Reading one of your recent comments on Soo It seems to be that you actually don't like her as a character not just the way she was written I think, it's just my assumption consider her as weak and a bit stupid Maybe I'm wrong

ME: It's both how she was written as a character and the character herself. Lol I've watched this series over 6 times now (partly to enjoy it with friends but also to analyze the story and characters for my own writing.) It may be the editing departments fault too with how they edited the final video

THEM: I think that the writing has a couple of flaws as every script has and it's ok but I put all blame on director and editor team.

Also, I think you really underestimate her and putting definition of a strong female lead in a very classic dimension when it comes to judging Soo, idk about others.

She was pretty much silly in the first eps and I didn't like her either. But there so much development that made me grow to like her more and more.

After all, of it wasn't her nothing would have happened. Even Eun's death supposed to happen because she meant to be there to story that we know in modern days could happen.

She's not even a bit weak. Just out yourself a modern day girl into her condition. Time travel, deaths of people that important to you and not most of them aren't natural. Tortures, a year of hard work of a water maid, ruined health, always aching knees and problem with heart. Const fear of hurting and affecting somebody's life, holding back with a person you falling in love with, then watching how his marrying other woman and suffering because of it, then leaving him not because you don't love him but because you have to and there's no other choice.

She's relatable in so many aspects even in Goryeo era. She's not super smart or strong or anything else, that what makes her so human. But she is so compassionate, hardworking.

ME: But it's not just my opinion 4 other of my friends (one of them having never seen Kdramas before) kinda of the same opinion. Her early eps were basically what kinda killed it.

Honestly my biggest thing is that there was no excuse for her behavior in the early episodes. (I didn't mind her too much after Court Lady Oh's death, but everything before that point she just didn't make sense to me... she would've realistically been executed) Even her being from another time can be a valid reason up to a point... before it becomes a writers scapegoat.

To me, if I had to pick a character from that show that was the most relateable and believably written, It would be Court Lady oh.

ME: it's just there's things that are common sense and common knowledge that anyone of any social class (modern or ancient) would know, and she somehow... didn't?? how to speak to royalty, and not get in a fight with them being for starters LOL

ME: the other things I can kinda loosely overlook as pure modern ignorance but there are some things that are just painfully jarring that make 0 sense for anyone in Korea or SE-Asia

ME: the more I watch and try to find reasons to sympathize with her or justify her behavior the more I can't-- especially when my friends are also asking me questions about why she's behaving a certain way. LOL I do try... I genuinelly do try (especially cause I want me friends to love this show as much as me) but I can't. xD I can't even objectively try to defend her character until after Court Lady Oh's death. and by that point when it comes to hr and wang So's relationship I can feel even less empathy for it aside from his character... XD

ME: I love wang So very very much, extremely deeply but their pairing made so little sense to me... that I couldn't even try to explain it to my friends xD Maybe the original book was different, but, this show didn't make work... this could be the fault of the editors and writers of the show

ME: 5 other friends of mine (my miscount I forgot how many I have seen this series with) Today at 10:06 AM

THEM: She was fearless and didn't want to let people humiliate her. Don't forget that she was a part of powerful Wook's household and people tear her as she is a mere child so I doubt that something would have happened to her. The only stupid thing that she did back then was beating Eun. She just couldn't stand his pervertism and decided to teach him a lesson.

I doubt that you know how to speak to medieval royalty as I have no clue how to speak to royalty from medieval Rus. Everything what I know is based on history books and tv series. I'm pretty sure it's far from accurate Also, Ha Jin's history knowledge was awfully poor. She couldn't even figure out that Gwangjong wasn't the second Goryeo king nor she didn't know that he actually didn't killed all his brothers. Her history knowledge was on a level of girl just appearing in history class auditorium without paying much attention.

For example? (What doesn't make sense for people in Kore and Asia)

Girl in original book is absolutely different just as 4th prince, they just took some main plot lines, everything else is different.

Their relationship was built on friendship, complete understanding of each other, they could see real nature of each other. Also, they're both idealistic and fight for truth, they're romantic and cherish freedom. They're really similar and I already told you about it.

ME: you sound mad? O-o are you mad at me or something? cause again this is just my own view point. LOL

THEM: Ahahah, no 😄

ME: okay LOL

ME: good XD

THEM: Sorry if I offend you

ME: nah you didn't I was worried of the reverse

THEM: I'm just giving you my point of view

ME: ^_^ ok

THEM: Because I'm just upset that you would rather erase Hae Soo from the story when she's basically the core of this narration

ME: LOL If I had to have a time traveling character beign the narration I'd persoanlly prefer a different character in her place. or even just have the narration from So's POV entirely or the original Hae Soo. :/ Sorry if I upset you it's just my oppinion and I'm not trying to like force it on ya LOL Today at 12:47 PM

THEM: But was hwarang female lead brilliantly written and was their romance developed? Like just to compare historical dramas that you watched.

It's not just So's story, initially it is a girls story, Koreans decided to share the focus with male lead as well.

It's fine, I get it. And you wouldn't be able to do it anyway 😄

ME: I liked the girl in the very very first episode. But after that first episode. THE VERY INSTANT SHE MET THE MALE LEAD... I ended up disliking her too the romance in Hwarang was just as bad as SHR

THEM: I'm afraid that you end up disliking all female leads in sageuk

ME: after that point TBH I kinda realized maybe it was Korean's media where they're so focused on shoehorning and shoving poorly developed romance down people's throats.... yeahhhh probably

THEM: But SoSoo wasn't poorly developed Can't agree with you It one of the most amazingly developed relationship in kdrama world In fiction I've run into And I love romance but only a good believable romance

ME: if that's the case then I am absolutely mortified to see other shows in Korea if that was considered the best in Kdrama world

THEM: Have you thought that it's a western mindset that makes you think that Soo and other female leads are weak

ME: my friend found the way he acted after she said she understood him absolutely jarring today ROFL

THEM: Ofc there are some one dimensional poorly written characters But I honestly saw many great girls

ME: Honestly I hate how a lot of media writes women in the West too I do think it could be a culture thing for me too, that maybe Korea and Japan idiolize these meek weak kinda "dense and quirky" women that NEED a man to function or at least the trope of it

THEM: Why it's so understandable

ME: in SE-Asian media

THEM: There's a parallel between his conversation with mother and this moment with Soo

ME: I know these countries are very sexist and women don't get a lot of respect over there.

THEM: Actually I feel like less sexist in historical way that Europe In Japan there were women samurais

ME: Oh I know in history it was fine till we came and shoved our noses in it

THEM: And I'm Goryeo women could divorce without damaging their honor

ME: or with confusnism

THEM: And all the property still belonged to them

ME: I'm not completely naive about Japan XD I did do research on the Samurai and the Minamoto family I also know in the Three Kingdoms era women were of equal

THEM: Japanese are more severe

ME: in fact one of them ruled err wait three of the women ruled Silla

THEM: Not completely equal but almost yeah

ME: What I'm saying is the roles of women changed roughly around the Joseon Dynasty and into the era where Christians started butting in well yeah not perfect but closer

ME: then it all turned to shit

THEM: Agree

ME: And yes maybe my Western upbringing has a lot to do with how I see it, but then again, I loved characters like Court lady Oh, Queen Hwangbo, (Hell I would even say- despite her corruption and being written as a bitch/antagonist-) I enjoyed Yeon Hwa's character and felt she was wonderfully developed. (no I do NOT ship Yeon hwa with WAng So) But I loved ALL these characters way more then I liked Soo because I felt they were better written and developed over all. Or WOo Hee for that mater I adored Woo hee and felt she was incredibly brace and strong

THEM: Ok but all these woman were ready to kill I like only Woo Hee from these three

ME: Court Lady Oh wasn't willing to kill. Also Lady Hae herself was another powerful and strong woman in her own right and she wasn't gunna kill anyone

THEM: But you say you liked these three

ME: both these women would've died (and one of them did) to protect the people they loved I forgot the other two xD well I mentioned Court Lady Oh XD but yeah basically any other woman in that show I found more engaging and compelling

THEM: Even Chae ryung? 😄 But Yeon Hwa was snake as well

ME: Soon Deok, Lady Oh, Lady Hae, Yeon Hwa, (hell even Yoo for being a horrible antagnosist and terible mother) Woo Hee.... all of these girls in my mind were better written and developed. yes even Chae Ryung I felt more emotion to all of these other women

THEM: But she was an evil traitor and liar

ME: in different ways yes but I felt SOMETHING I didn't nessicarily mean positive

THEM: Ok then I can say one thing

ME: or liking the character's decisions XD

THEM: You don't like Hae Soo in general Bc it's impossible to the same writers to write all these women and So itself To be poorly wrote Hae Soo in which I disagree ofc

THEM: You just don't like her for her character Like you found interesting everyone in this show except Hae Soo

ME: XD No I don't her character or how she was written...I felt 0 empathy for her on any level as a viewer, and I felt over all she made no sense as a character and was too unrealistic as a believeable character. I felt and could relate to the other characters in different ways. Yeon hwa for all her treachery I could see she was blindly pursuing her goals to protect her family (even though it was wrong). Lady Oh and Lady Hae and Woo Hee all were amazing and brave women yeah basically XD I did

THEM: Yeon Hwa wasn't protecting her family Like never

ME: It's not that I don't BLINDLY dislike her I have stated many times why I don't like or agree with her. ehh true XD she was just poisoned with greed but even she was interesting as a character

THEM: She just wanted power And So was for her just a beast to be tamed When Soo saw in him a kind hearted human and friend

ME: Well yeah XD I never liked YH and So together either

THEM: You didn't feel any empathy bc you didn't like her as a person, you felt no connection bc maybe you share only few traits with her. Most of the time when I watch dramas and movies, I feel no connection with characters. Especially western ones. I can say same things about beloved by many characters but I know that there are people who are like this particular heroine and they feel connection. Why she's not believable? She was betrayed many time, she fell for the wrong person, right person was always by her side and it took sonmuxh time to realize. She was to kind and to idealistic to realize many things earlier. I think it happened to many people. I felt her extremely relatable bc I would act same in many situations. Who am I kidding I would gone crazy after few days. But she had strength to not give up and accept the reality and live. She was acting so carelessly because she was allowed to, she felt love and protection from all the princes. She relaxed as if she was at home, in friendly atmosphere but after Lady Oh's death she realized that she can't and don't have right to live and behave like that anymore. It was a call that she's in medieval kingdom after all. I'm just saying that you don't feel empathy bc you don't like her as a person. And I feel like you belittle her and her strength

THEM: And I'm saying all of that considering how many times I was extremely mad at her and wanted to shout at her

Still I can't hate her or accuse in anything

She was in huge stress. She managed to survive for 10 in a toxic and suffocating atmosphere where she didn't belong.

ME: Yeah. XD Honestly I've stated many points on why I didn't like how she was written or her character as a character/person XD My friend who watched this series with me kinda pointed out to me too that she felt Hae Soo was "literally there to further the drama and development of the princes and she's a badly done character that was done injustice by baaaaaaaad writing." And my friend is in honors classes full scholarship majoring in developmental psychology. She likes a LOT of fiction, TV and admits she loves almost all types of characters and in her own words "has no standards for writing" xD IDK maybe we just see things differently My friend LOVED Wang so and the royal family and the story as a whole

ME: she just didn't like Soo either

ME: Maybe we should avoid the topic of Hae Soo when it comes to this show and stick to Wang So and the other Princes XD XD Cause yeah we'll never see eye to eye on it. might be safer that way ahahah ^_^;; I don't want to offend ya since you love her so much.

THEM: I don't even love her so much I really like her and I relate to her

ME: Ah Ok LOL xD Well either way I just really don't wanna step on toes XD

THEM: I just don't really get how you skip her in this story

THEM: It's unfair To the whole story and So itself Because neither of it happened without her She's a base of this story

THEM: Like if there's poorly written character - Jung Or he's just eternally stupid

ME: I loved So's development as HIM I just wished Hae Soo's character was different then I might support it more.

THEM: But she was a part of his development He wouldn't have became king without her

ME: I just didn't like him and Soo as a couple nor did I like how she was written nor her character itself.

I think he could've developed that same way were she a different person.

ME: Eh it's kinda like friend said, she was a plot device in that respect. xD

THEM: Fe She wasn't a plot device, she was a center of this story

ME: LOL Like I said, it's probably safer we don't bring up Hae Soo xD I could go on and on about Wang So and the rest of the family with positive praise. LOL

THEM: Ok give me an example of what kind of different female lead should have been there

ME: and deep love... but her... ehhhh character type?

THEM: I'm not the one who avoids uncomfortable topics Yes You also think she's unworthy of this love, right? Because she never showed it so openly as he did?

ME: (strictly character personality types, not ethnicity) Woo Hee, Lady Oh, Rose Tyler, Arwen, I could hoenstly go on

THEM: That's actually really funny that you mentioned lady oh Bc it's an older version of Hae Soo

ME: I mean after Lady Oh got wise to the world yes older and wiser much older and wiser matured

THEM: But nobody gets as older and wiser in such young age Without tough experience

THEM: You get wisdom from experience Fans you compare Woo Hee and Hae Soo/Ha Jin when they were raised ina different atmosphere It's same as people were comparing Wook and So

ME: I'm looking at personality types... not characters and backstory the**

THEM: But their character traits came from their experience

ME: I'm talking technical Like the character breakdown in writing

THEM: Oh, I see

THEM: Idk neither Arwen or Rose I can't see this kind of character in this kind of story

ME: not the characters themselves or their history.

Well no one is an elf from another world of fiction the other is a 21st century girl from London. XD But their character traits and personality/flaws are what I'm talking about. Not who they are or where they're from

THEM: Also, about Woo Hee. Her and Baek Ah and SoSoo are mirroring each other Showing that this type of people have light inside of them but life made them tondo some things that were corrupting them from the inside

ME: ehhhhhh they're different people maybe

THEM: They need someone with the light to help them to return to their natural state To soften their thorns That they forced themselves to grow in order to survive

THEM: Both of them didn't to chose to be who they are, the had to do it The other thing that showing is a Soo and Baek Ah talk in ep 19 Soo talks with Baek Ah possibly having her and So in mind Saying that Woo Hee wasn't selfish enough, she's the one who left and she's a bad guy

ME: hahahahahha yeahhh mental illnesss doesn't work that way... honestly that little comment really ticked me off.

THEM: Possibly referring to herself, fully recognizing that she and So weren't selfish and she's the bad guy, she hurts him badly by leaving him But as Woo Hee (here a woman sacrifice parallel) she leaves to protect So and their baby Which comment?

ME: the whole Woo Hee was the bad guy for killing herself kinda thing

ME: the context and situation was just bad for that cosnidering she committed suicide

THEM: She was more talking about herself

THEM: But she committed suicide not bc of mental illness She did that for Baek Ah and her people

ME: LOL Woo hee and soo are nothing alike... especially in that respect.

THEM: They both sacrificed their happiness for their beloved Soo just didn't die

ME: Woo Hee was unhappy from the start

THEM: Bc she was already severely ill and she had to deliver a healthy child

ME: even Baek Ah noticed that

THEM: Ofc she was She was a princess of fallen kingdom And had to become a kisaeng

ME: She probably suffered from depression and that was partially what drove her to suicide.

THEM: I think every single person in this story suffered from depression

ME: Well yeah.... xD in some ways But she was an extreme case

THEM: The other thing that her existence itself gave hope to Baekje people that their kingdom will be restored And So?

ME: So is a whole other can of worms with mental illness probably PTSD just to start

THEM: Let's be honest As a physical illnesses There's no completely mentally healthy person in this world And Soo? You think she wasn't traumatized? She had, in my opinion, the least stable situation

ME: she probably was and should've been...

ME: but the thing is

THEM: Because the huge contracts of upbringing and the reality she was put in The weight of responsibility and fear Fear that consumes

ME: that's even more of a reason why I felt she and So shouldn't have ever gotten together... and that their relationship (on top of the country) was toxic and unhealthy and should have never happened. and probably wouldn't have in reality

THEM: I just really familiar with this feeling when fear just blocks your rationality bc you just don't want to mess up Toxic and unhealthy?

THEM: There weren't any attachment, obsessions Jealousy And other stuff

ME: jealousy lies, possessiveness. For both of them it was an emotionally abusive relationship

THEM: Lies happens in all relationship Jealousy when? Emotional pain was cause not by them but by the circumstances they were put in

ME: she got sulky when he got married to Mu's kid (WHO WAS LIKE 12) she got jealous of YH,

THEM: If they lived in a hut in that village they would have grow old together with a lot of children It wasn't jealousy

THEM: She thought he might be after throne And it's his ambition When she got jealous of Yeon Hwa?

ME: when she mentioned getting married to him... it wasn't outward but she refused to let go and see that she was not good for him as Queen. it was only when Ji Mong finally shut her down and told her how it is that it finally sunk in anyway this is just going in circles it's perspective and opinion. there's not enough content in the show to properly psycho analyze the characters sadly

ME: sadly**

THEM: Omg She wasn't jealous She simply didn't want the love of her lie to get married to other woman

ME: So was jealous of her though... and possessive

THEM: Bc she knew he didn't want it too He loves her

ME: I love him and I could justify it rationally

THEM: And proposed to her

ME: honestly it shouldve ended after Eun's death if not before then.

THEM: Relationship you're talking about is a complete utopia No lies, no jealousy

ME: LOOOL nah

THEM: Lies that told each other was motivated to protect each other for good Lame motive but still

ME: well yeahhhh it's called an honest and healthy one XD I'm not saying their aren't struggles but you don't lie to the person you claim to love.

THEM: In toxic relationship lies is motivated to manipulate your partner into doing what you want

ME: Lame motive and toxic in reality

THEM: Ofc you don't But you're measuring everyone from a modern mindset not considering that there's a whole empire on a stake besides them

THEM: That's the conflict of a whole story You can't have both a throne and love There's only one thing you can hold It not toxic It's problematic Toxic a strong word

ME: I'm very tempted to actually ask a psychologist this very thing someone who is certified to say what is toxic relationship and not given that period just to see if it's promlematic or genuinely a toxic circumstance

THEM: And when you say emotional pain. Well, in toxic relationship, emotional abuses is an intentional thing, right? They never did that, they never did something to each other to hurt and make them feel worse or unworthy, they did say something things to push each other bc they thought it would be better for them and will keep them safe.

THEM: I saw many discussions on tumblr on that matter Even from a psychologist

ME: uhhh unfortuantely tumblr is an echochamber of biasness

THEM: People who said it's toxic mainly aimed it on So

ME: and nah it's not always intentional

THEM: Other people said it's not And toxic relationship Soo nactually had with Wook

ME: you can be abusive and not realize it

THEM: But it's a natural thing We grow like that

THEM: It makes us stronger and wiser Then Baek Ah and Woo Hee is toxic Seon Deok and Wang Eun is toxic Ten and Rose is toxic Everything single relationship on tv and books is a toxic things

ME: Well asking my friend (who's taking psych) whether Soo and So were toxic... she didn't think so but she did think they weren't good for each other

THEM: Toxic is when relationship brings more pain and discomfort that joy and happiness but you can't quit due to development attachment and feelings

When it destroys your heart and soul

Am I right?

But SoSoo weren't destroyed by their love. They were destroyed by life and time, love was the only thing that brighten their days and kept them alive

ME: I wanted her imput because I feel she'd be more relatlly qualified and I DO sometimes misuse words

THEM: Now tell me, please, what are you favourite romances in fictional world that you think are healthy and perfect. So I could wholly understand your pov.

ME: There aren't any "perfect ones" but offhand Arwen and Aragorn... no not perfect but it was real Beren and Luthien, my friend said : A Court of Thorns and Roses Sarah J Mass Rhys/Freyre

also IMHO Keeping someone "safe" through lying takes away their agency and makes it seem like they're not competent to handle the situation Also jack/Ianto were great. 10/Rose Tyler were great they weren't perfect...

I don't read a lot of fiction I mostly watch TV shows and movies

ME: also katara and Anng from that TV series Avatar aang* PiperxLeo from Charmed

ME: Phoebe/Cupe from Charmed as well

ME: Peggy Carterx Steve Rogers

THEM: But Hae Soo actually couldn't handle the situation, like she couldn't stop the bloodshed in Wang family, only So could.

And when she was leaving him, she actually knew that he can hadnlaw the situation and marry her but it lead to clans rebellion, more blood and it will put him in huge danger

It wasn't a modern word, it's not that simple

Come on, like Ten didn't lie to Rose and didn't hurt her? Can't comment others not familiar

Piper and Leo - jealousy, lies, emotional hurting check check check, they even divorced

I'm mentioning things that you said about SoSoo, that's why I'm so repetitive

Phoebe and Cupe were unrealistically ideal and sugary and plane in my opinion

ME: I have read the comics too

THEM: Peggy and Steve they didn't even have a relationship Even a proper date Oh well

THEM: I'm judging by the movies It's just what you're mentioning appearing everywhere, in my opinion, it's just a context That makes it's toxic or not

ME: it's been years since I saw Charmed so I'd have to rewatch it the show again.

THEM: Sometimes this checklists with definitions don't work I was obsessed so I remember some things

#人生花の如く、だな。#mine #text #8th #June #2017 #June 8th 2017

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