#it’s 3:30 am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

typinggently · 5 days

Text

Hip against the table, that gets his attention. “Hey.”

Sam looks up from his notes. “Hey?” Quizzical, with his eyes slipping away for a split second to check the clock on the far wall. “I thought you’d come get me at six.”

Dean shrugs one shoulder. “Guy can’t change his mind? It’s a free country.”

That gets him one of those puppy frowns, some frankenemotion of amusement and annoyance, with some suspicion thrown in the mix. “Well, I’m not done.”

Dean is already pulling back a chair, legs scraping over dark grey carpet floors. “That’s cool, I’ll wait.” He sits, chair groaning as Sam shrugs and returns his attention to the book in front of him. Not even a ‘sure, whatever’.

But that’s fine, that’s cool. Dean can wait.

He looks at the wall, watches the clock tick away silently at the next minute. He looks at the carpet floors, wonders how many stains have soaked into the carpet and if any would show up under black light. He looks at the books, tries to guess their topic without moving in closer. He looks at Sam.

The seams of his shirt are pulled tight, crinkling a little. It’s Dean’s, used to be, some vague shade of dark blue that always looked better on Sam. Rolled up, too, the ass, and stretched over his biceps. His forearms are tan and strong, he’s fidgeting with his pen as he reads. The rhythmic click-clack of his pen should be annoying, but it just draws the eye to his long fingers. When Dean flicks his gaze up, it sticks to the shadows under Sam’s collar, the dip between his collar bones. Shoulders, the golden shimmer on his chin where the neon light catches in his afternoon stubble. His Cupid’s bow. The mole on his cheek.

“Hey.”

Hum, no real answer. Sam flips a page, circles something in his tattered spiral notebook.

“Hey.” Dean kicks his chair.

“What?” Annoyed, this time. Sam glances over, long lashes and a furrow between his brows.

But Dean is leaning in already. One hand rests on the table, crinkling paper under his palm. The tip of his nose brushes Sam’s cheek, then he fits their mouths together.

Sam tastes like Sam, like a day at the library, like dusty carpets and the scent of books. Like the aftertaste of coffee, like neon lights and surprise. Dean nips, coaxes. His neck aches, his lower back pulses with pain, but he doesn’t pull back until Sam returns the kiss, until he rests a warm palm on Dean’s cheek and everything tastes like Sam, Sam, Sam. Until the book slips off the table and bounces on the carpet floors. Forgotten.

[i hate your phone, throw it away // I wish it had never even been invented]

#this is so rough #but you know what we’re getting at. D getting jealous of inanimate objects #clown boys #ficlet #drabble #<- I need to export everything in the D tag into the F tag but I haven’t done that yet #it’s 3:30 am #by now #I’m so tired #so I might get back to this at some point in a more coherent manner

48 notes · View notes

mothmanperson · 5 months

Text

Picture Unperfect

cw: gender neutral reader, slightly insecure reader, angst, tiniest bit of fluff, reader doesn’t cry, mean frat dude probably, ooc probably

tw: mocking, being made fun of for appearance

well at least until you have the glow-up everyone else seems to be having, or already had, or never needed.

you were so jealous of those people,

and you genuinely never understood how it even came to, that you befriended them.

that they genuinely want to hang out with you in breaks, write you(by their own will, mind you) regularly or ask if you‘d like to go out with them, to a restaurant, expensive ones, your friends seemed to have that money, or amusement parks, or to one of your places.

you were amazed by the fact they simply didn‘t care. they didn’t care that you looked a mess 80% of the time, they didn’t care that you had emotions, that you were more sad and depress at times. your small friend group didn’t care that your room looked how it looked, overlooking the trash mountain by the side of your bed, which you didn‘t have the energy’s to clean up yet.

you were never conventionally attractive. and you never will be, you made peace with that. it was hard, and it still is. every time you come across a reflective surface and catch a peek of yourself you falter, jump at someone you don’t quite recognize. you know those features, all to well, after spending hour standing in front of a mirror, criticizing every wrong placed cell in your body, but they don’t make sense in the way you want them to. your image in your mind is so much different than whatever it is that owlishly blinks back at you.

but after years of yearning to be normal, to look normal, you‘ve come to an agreement with your body and mind, and now you don’t completely hate how you look anymore. it was nice in a way, but it still wasn’t easy.

you felt like you lost so much in your younger years. something you could never recover or catch up on.

conventionally attractive people have it easy, you always thought. sure they might have problems too, but they didn’t wake up with dread, dressing in the biggest and darkest clothes because nothing else felt right on their dirty skin, you always told yourself, in that close mindedness of yours. and that’s okay, somehow this close mindedness brings comfort, just once you only thought of yourself.

conventionally attractive people didn’t have the problem of seeing their friends get pined after left anf right, didn’t have to give advice to a topic they couldn‘t even imagine, and only dream of.

people tend to say ‚your time will come‘ or ‚you will meet someone when you least expect it‘, well…. now you don’t expect it at all anymore, so where is your soulmate? you angrily thought to yourself as a, now ex friend, told you how hard it was to have three people have a crush on her at the same time, because it was so exhausting trying to be nice to them, even if they annoyed her and she only had eyes for one.

‚just block them‘

you once said to which she simply replied

,i don’t want to be mean‘

you stood up and left then and there. your friendship crumbled like ash after. and you never talked again.

romantic interaction and people telling you they like you, romantically or platonically, wasn’t really a thing for you growing up.

one or two friends stayed with you over the years, but the rest you never saw or even talked to anymore.

you often wonder if they think about you as much as you do about them and the way they openly disrespected you and hurt your feelings and you didn’t even get it.

you never had much reassurance growing up that how you looked didn’t matter, that to some people you looked cool, that they wanted to be friends with you because you looked the way you looked.

and that ruined so much for you, most of which you have yet to heal from, yet you’re trying your best.

and then, after you graduated from secondary school, you went off to a technical college. were you met your new friends.

they were so odd and awkward at the beginning. but so were you. you guessed it was destined you got jumbled together into this mess of a group you call friends.

and things finally started to look up. you laughed and cried, shared secrets and insulted each other, it just fit perfectly.

you were oh so greatful to finally find people that you could start to believe, wanted to be friends with you.

even when you started to doubt and ask, they always reassured you, so lovingly, in a way no one else had, you had no other chance than to believe them.

but you have yet to come over the fact that such, ethereal, pretty and handsome people, wanted to be friends, with you, it sounded absurd and made absolutely no sense to you.

all of them were more than just conventionally attractive, and definitely way above ‚over average‘ and they definitely knew, how could they not?

gojo satoru, a tall, white haired dude with big blue eyes was the heartthrob of the school. wearing sunglasses all the time, his laid back and nonchalant personality made him even more popular with everyone but the teachers.

geto suguru was more toned down, a calm and collected individual, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t just as much of a menace as satoru. his long hair, done in an attractive loose man-bun most of the time, helped bring across his put together yet relaxed persona. and slightly slanted and ever narrowed eyes that gave him such an alluring look that had everyone swooning in secret.

(he even had tunnels, a feature you shared, which made you even more happy, his were just a bit smaller than yours)

and last but not least, shoko leiri, an ever tired, chain smoking woman. her brown hair suited her well, and while controversial, so did her dark circles, it gave her such character you couldn’t even begin to describe. when you looked at her, everything just clicked into place and made sense. having smoker parents yourself, her scent was comforting, oddly enough, mixed with her cherry scented lipgloss (she sometimes shares it with you).

and then there was you… you knew how you looked like, and that’s the exact reason you avoid looking at yourself in group pictures. it was a sweet gesture of them, of course, and you appreciated not being left out, but you simply couldn’t stand seeing yourself next to them. so out of place, so happy yet, it almost disgusted you, you disgusted yourself for ruining such a pretty photo once again.

‚aww, it looks so cute!‘

you excitedly tell your friends as they show you the picture they took of you all while out eating, skillfully ignoring that nauseatingly familiar face, stuffing itself full with food. they don’t notice how you felt, years of covering your disappointment made that possible.

it’s not like you didn’t want them to see or know, because they did, you just… didn’t know how to stop doing it.

if you knew someone, gojo most of the time, took a picture, you took great care in hiding your face, with your hand or a piece of clothing. but sometimes your weren’t fast enough or didn’t notice gojo was taking a picture in the first place. he loved to take those kinds of pictures. and you let him have his fun, admittedly, some of them were really funny and made you laugh aswell, but you‘d never tell them that… they‘d never let you live it down.

it was only one time this kind of escalated into something ugly…

———————————————————————

„oh my god, i look disgusting in this picture..“

„whaaat? no! you look totally cute“

you shot gojo a glare as you continued to look through the plethora of pictures he had taken, physically sick at the way you looked.

it was already evening and the sun just started to set. you and gojo sat on a bench, waiting for geto and shoko to come back from their smoking break. satoru hated the smell and you didn’t smoke anymore so you two always did something else while they killed their lungs.

and today satoru felt like taking pictures, stupid ones that looked ugly no matter how you looked at it, but also some really pretty ones if it wasn’t for you and your little imperfections that only seemed visible to you.

„i’m going to delete them..“

you said, after a lengthy pause and instantly were tackled. gojo put his whole body weight on top of you and reached for his phone, eyes wide and panicked.

„NO YOU‘RE NOT- THOSE PICTURES ARE AMAZING-„

he yelled, or more like whined as he struggled to get ahold of his phone, you kept far away from him. you tried to push him off but to no avail, so you wriggled your way out from beneath him and took some steps back as a precaution.

„nooo- i look awful in these, i’m not gonna let you keep those-..“

you groaned, sidestepping your friends attempt at catching you.

„oh come on, why not? it’s not like anyone is gonna see..“

he tried convincing, stalking closer, eyeing his expensive phone, gripping tightly in your hand.

you faltered a bit, your arm lowering slightly, easily convinced.

„alright, okay“

you sighed out

„but you’re not gonna show anyone else alright? you can send them into the group chat but no showing around..“

you handed him back his phone and he sighed in relief, checking his phone for damage that wasn’t there.

always so quick to exaggerate.

you really hope you could rely on the small chance no one would see.

but alas, you hoped to soon..

days later, in the big break, you sat with suguru, shoko and gojo at a small table at the back of the cafeteria, where you always sat. there was more space for others to sit at but most f the time it was just the four of you.

not today though, some people you didn’t know, but gojo apparently did sat with you for some stupid reason, talking his ear off and taking all his attention.

to say it was awkward would be an understatement. you geto and shoko weren’t quite as extroverted as gojo was, so you didn’t talk, which you were totally okay with, but there were strangers at the table that stared, and talked about topics you didn’t know about. they were loud and unruly, disrespectful and you you could see satoru cringe here and there at something one of the guys said, his phone screen side up layed in front of him, as he played with it impatiently, hoping the guys he knew but really didn’t know would finally leave.

it all happened in a matter of seconds, and gojo received a message, his screen lighting up, showing a dimly lit photo.

it was one from a few days ago, on the bench.

someone stupid and ugly looking sitting right next to him, as if they were on the same level. they shouldn’t even be near him.

thoughts started to crowd their mind, progressively getting worse and worse but you said nothing.

„who is that person with you on that photo?“

one of the guys asked, his voice sounding odd, almost degrading even if he hadn’t said anything bad. you snapped out of your mind, and your eyebrows furrowed. now you felt ashamed.

you could just hope gojo wouldn’t say it wad you, to spare you the embarrassment of being perceived.

„is that your partner?“

another voice called out, less condescending and more curiously before a third voice joined in, grating and mocking tone of voice. it hurt your ears.

„really? you could do better than that, satoru, they look so weird, you can even see their double chin“

the voice laughed, and so did the other’s. all the while your friends already small smile slipped from his face, as now a borderline annoyed expression took it‘s place.

„and such unclear skin“

„and their weight?“

„they look stupid“

„ugly“

„unlovable“

you weren’t quite sure anymore which words your mind made up and which ones were truly spoken, but it mattered little. if you could, you would just love to sink into the ground and never face earth an it’s opponents ever again.

„it doesn’t matter does it?!“

gojo’s uncharacteristically angry voice interrupts, and you were happy it was quiet again.

„how they look doesn’t fucking matter does it? their personality is awesome, unlike yours and they look stunning something you could never achieve, so fuck off..“

it was unusual for gojo to slip out of his happy-go-lucky persona, but this was his friend we‘re talking about, he never held back when it came to his friends.

you didn’t listen what happened after that, leaning onto geto’s shoulder and indulged yourself in your phone, a nice distraction from this escapade.

you knew it didn’t matter, those guys… didn’t matter, but that didn’t make it hurt less. emotions from still open wounds trickled out like cold blood. you took a deep breath as the table got silent again. no one talked. but it wasn’t awkward.

there was just a bitter solemn tension in the air.

you were a bit more reserved after that, quiet and less engaging in silly conversations, and your friends knew to give you a bit of time, they didn’t pity you and kept treating you normally.

but they were a bit more affectionate, especially geto.

gojo kept his distance knowing he was part of the cause, and also because he didn’t know if or how he could apologize.

shoko gave you her silent support, a stable individual you could rely on. and you loved her for that.

it was alright though, you‘ll come around eventually, you always did…

108 notes · View notes

charmedcleric · 2 months

Text

BG3 Tav Backstory Bash by Kelandrin

This is a challenge to help people flesh out their Tav’s backstory by exploring their past. It is organized into four sections with seven prompts. You can treat this as a monthly challenge or a general project. You can write headcanons, fics, or share art based on the prompts! You can interpret the prompts however you want. If you want to share use the tag #bg3backstorybash

I was tagged by @lemonsrosesandlavender , thank you so much <3

Tagging (no pressure of course): @auspex-author @lolthslover @fistfuloftarenths @orangekittyenergy @darkurgetrash and anyone else who would like to do it cause it’s v fun ✨

Athena

This was honestly so fun! I could talk about Athena forever. I also talk more about athena and rolans life together andddd it’s very long so it’s all under the cut lmao oops

Baby:

Parents

- Athena’s parents were Thomas Knight and Elerra Knight (née. Kenafin). Her father Thomas was a human Wizard/Paladin of Mystra (boooooo) who worked for the Waterdeep City Guard and her mother Elerra was a drow cleric of Eilistraee who worked as a healer at the local house of healing.

Birth

- She was born in Waterdeep at the families cottage. Her parents treated her birth as if they had been blessed by the gods themselves (as they should lol) they had been trying to have a baby for a while and were starting to lose hope until Elerra finally fell pregnant with Athena.

First word / Tantrum / When they first walked / First sickness

- Athena’s first word was ma. She didn’t really have tantrums often, and if she did they didn’t last for very long. She was 15 months old when she first started to walk and her first sickness was a common cold.

Childhood:

Friends

- Athena had a couple of friends growing up, as a half-drow she didn’t really feel like she belonged anywhere, some people knew she was half drow and treated her different, others didn’t know what she was but they still treated her with caution. Her best friends consisted of Tyler, a tiefling, and Ari who was a high half-elf.

Siblings

- She had one sibling, a sister called rose. There was a 10 year age gap between them. Her sister rose was actually adopted and was a tiefling. Her parents were struggling to conceive yet again so they decided to adopt instead.

Getting into trouble

- Athena had terrible anxiety growing up so she never really did anything to get into trouble.

Birthday

- Her birthday is Alturiak 20th

Games / Learning something new

- She loved a good game of hide and seek, she was very good at hiding so she always won when she played with her parents and friends.

- Athena loves learning and takes it very seriously, when she puts her mind to something she is determined. Growing up she loved lanceboard and even though she wasn’t good at it to begin with, she stuck it out and learned how to play, it took many hours with her mothers help but she got there in the end

Trauma

- Her family being what they were, were judged by some of the public. She grew up hearing people call her mother an under elf, deep elf etc. her mother always tried to ignore it but Athena could she the heartbreak on her mothers face. If it wasn’t for her father, Athena would have grown up to not trust humans as most of the comments made about her mother were from humans.

Teenager:

First love

- Athena’s first love was her friend Tyler. She loved him very much and he loved her as well. Athena wanted to have something more with him but she also didn’t want to ruin what they already had so they just stayed friends

Rebellion / Running away

- Due to the situation Athena was in she never really had time to rebel. After her parents died and her sister became ill she had to grow up real fast and was essentially a mother figure for Rose. Athena had to work, cook and heal all day, everyday. She barely had any time to herself so there was definitely no time to rebel or run away

Reckless behavior

- When her sister had fallen deathly ill, Athena started to pickpocket/steal food and supplies as she now didn’t have much time to make a living to support the two of them. She did still work but it was very rare.

Peer pressure

- Although no one was pressuring her she still pushed herself. She would push herself so hard to heal her sister that some days it took all her energy and she would fall asleep on the floor next to her sisters bed.

Taking responsibility

- She spent most of her teenage years taking responsibility, between healing her sister, earning a living to be able to feed herself and her sister, She never had time for herself and always had to put her sister first. Athena developed a bad habit that when she eats she tends to eat very fast due to always needing to aid rose. Most of the time when she would sit down to eat, rose would start coughing and need urgent care, so eating fast became a bad habit of hers, one she is still working on today.

Adulthood:

Their “first time”

- Athena’s first time was one she wishes she could forget. At 23 years of age athena had her first time with a man she met at the Yawning portal. It was soon after her sister had died and Athena was not taking it well and she wanted a distraction. She ended up getting drunk and have sex with the first man that showed a slight interest in her. Soon after she started to regret it and when she arrived home she curled up in a ball on her bed and started crying wishing her mum was there to talk to. This experience tainted sex for her for a long time after. The next time she had sex was with rolan after the fall of the absolute, she had filled rolan in beforehand about her experience and rolan made sure that she was showed the up most care and love during their first time together

Serious relationships

- Athena’s first serious relationship is with rolan. Although they had their differences when they first met Athena quite liked rolan, she loved how caring he was for his siblings, how determined he was and she found him very attractive. For a spell she thought he hated her but it was the complete opposite.

After Cal and lia were saved from moonrise, rolan found Athena sitting by the waters edge at last light, where he decided to apologize to her. The two ended up talking for a bit and ended up sharing a kiss, Athena thought rolan would regret it come morning but if he did he never showed it.

They didn’t really discuss their feelings till after the fall of the netherbrain. Athena wasn’t sure what she wanted to do now that the absolute was no more, so she decided to go and talk to rolan just to catch up and to see his reaction to her maybe going back to Waterdeep.

They were having a nice conversation when she briefly mentioned going back to Waterdeep, this made rolan drop his drink and turn to her like umm why???? She explained that she didn’t have anything here or anyone needing her to stay so she might as well go back home. Rolan then said something along the lines of “you’re so selfish you know that yes? You are just going to up and leave when the man who cares and loves you the most is standing right in front of you?” When she goes to reply he cuts her off and basically begs her not to leave. Basically rolan finally tells her he is in love with her and has been for a while and he has a meltdown about it. very dramatic, very much rolan lol

- Her first serious platonic relationship would be shadowheart, although she knew shadowheart was lying to her about something she knew that there was probably a good reason for doing so. The two grew close and are still good friends long after the fall of the absolute. Another platonic relationship dear to Athena is Jaheira, I talk about them more in this post. Jaheira is very much a mother figure for Athena.

Work

- Before she was a cleric she was painter, she had to take a break from painting due to obvious reasons. After the fall of the absolute she takes up painting again and sells them in the lower city, all the money she makes from them is then donated to the local orphanage/s.

She tends to paint a lot of landscapes so when rolan first showed her the balconies of the tower she told him about how much she would love to paint this view. When she had finally moved in to ramazith’s tower rolan pulled her to one of the balconies and surprised her with a new easel, paints and a lot of canvases. She was on the brink of tears, she couldn’t have asked for a more caring partner. Most nights rolan will join her outside and will read one of his many books while she paints.

She still was a cleric of course and offered her aid wherever she could. Rolan cleaned out one of the rooms in sorcerous sundries and made it Athena’s office where she could manage all the paperwork for her patients. She was a call out cleric meaning she would go to the patients house instead of them coming into the sundries. She also helped out around sorcerous sundries. Whether that was scroll sorting or working the counter, she loved helping where she could, especially if it made rolans life slightly easier (the less stressed and busy rolan was, the more time they got together)

Leaving home

- Athena left her family home when she was 24 years old, after falling into a deep depression after her sister died she decided that enough was enough. Athena felt that the only thing she had left was her religion so she decided she wanted to become a sword dancer of eilistraee, after she did this she made her way to the promenade of the dark maiden. She helped and lived there for about a year.

Aging

- She doesn’t really like to talk about aging, from losing her family very young she would rather just live in the now instead of thinking about death, she’s had to much of that in her life. When she starts getting older she spends more time painting and hanging out in the tower with rolan.

Finding your place

- Athena feels she has found her place after the fall of the absolute. She is finally living with rolan (they end up getting married 2 years later), cal and lia, she has amazing friends which she still sees and keeps in touch with. She finally feels happy and feels that life is going her way for once.

Staring a family/found family

- Athena and rolan don’t end up having any children. She realises that she has been looking after people her whole life and she wants a chance to just live and have a somewhat calm life. Rolan, Cal and Lia are her found family along with Jaheira and her friends. Although they don’t have any children of their own, athena ends up adopting Yenna but its more of a sister than mother relationship for Yenna. Their family also consists of grub (yennas cat), two other cats they adopted and scratch.

#I’ve read this like 1000 times so if there is spelling mistakes I’m sorry I’m v tired #it’s 3:30 am #tav: athena #athena x rolan #tav bg3 #bg3 #bg3backstorybash #rolan x tav #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 tav

21 notes · View notes

dnfcliparchive · 1 year

Text

george: I’m like, for some reason no longer enjoying myself ever since you showed up

dream: george! that’s mean!

#it’s 3:30 am #I have to sleep now but here’s another clip #dnf #dreamnotfound #dnf clips #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #mcyt #dream #gnf #january 23

141 notes · View notes

polybiusplayer · 1 year

Text

The silly guys in a sillier style than my usual! This was mostly just an experiment for my art style but as usual Ten Nine and Juice ended up being the subject of this drawing, so here y’all go, they hangin out! >:o

#17776 nine #17776 ten #17776 juice #what football will look like in the future #17776 #17776 football #aaaaaRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR #it’s 3:30 am

126 notes · View notes

xxcallmemaryxx · 2 years

Note

NSFW implications with this but all I can think about is a cuddle pile with Rain and Swiss. It starts out all sweet and innocent however that quickly turns when someone can’t keep their hands still from roaming around

I’m looking at you Swiss you fuck.

They will absolutely pull you into bed with them. Cozy up to you and snuggle in all safe and sound.

Swiss has his hand draped over you, Rains face is pressed into you somehow and it’s nice. You feel loved and wanted.

But then Swiss’ hand twitches a little… he seems a bit restless and as if he can’t really keep still. He is moving it all around your body… dragging it up and down your waist and down your thighs and then back up again. You have a feeling you know what he wants… you press into him a little… his hand travels into new territory…. Then it’s like something snaps inside both of them and he flips you onto your back and starts letting both of his hands roam everywhere. Rain chuckles a little then before you know it you’re being played with by two half asleep… yet very very horny ghouls. They’re hands are everywhere it’s dizzying. It drives you insane how talented they are with their hands and…. Fingers… and all of a sudden sleep doesn’t exist anymore.

#wine spilt #it’s 3:30 am #I cannot sleep #I will regret it #perhaps I’ll turn this into a fic 👀#Mary’s headcannons

61 notes · View notes

stockholmgf · 6 months

Text

okay merry christmas everyone

#it’s 3:30 am #i’m eating skittles mixed with m&ms and ascending to the pearly gates

6 notes · View notes

skoulsons · 7 months

Text

OK so this is taken from a huge word vomit in a Google doc im writing about baylan and shin. please forgive me if anything is incoherent bc it is currently 3am and I’m afraid words are no good no more

Baylan doesn’t want a place in the Empire. No seat, no fame, no power of that kind. He’s searching for something different than what the Empire could give him. Instead, I think in the most open-minded way he can, is giving Shin an opportunity away from him. Sure, he has told her what he thinks about that power and it’s not what he’s searching for. But Shin has also expressed her doubts over it, as well as over Baylan’s plan for Peridea, and Baylan has heard and accounted for them.

I don't believe at all that he wants to part ways with Shin, but he is dead set on believing what his path is, and recognizes that Shin does not share the same. I think he’s doing it out of love, for lack of a better term. He’s not keeping her from what he sees, but he is simply recognizing that their ideas for the future don’t line up. I see it as a mix of him wanting her to find her footing, protecting her, and also giving her an open future that aligns with her ambitions instead of blindly following the power he wants (as much as I believe it dreads him to be permanently apart from her).

But I also don’t believe Shin wants that. I think she’d be willing to compromise and follow him. I say that because of the “you won’t help” / “I can help you” parallel. She looks distraught over that, as I mentioned. She wants Baylan’s help, his guidance, his presence. I think parting ways is the worst thing Baylan can do for Shin, but he doesn’t really recognize it as such. I don't think Baylan would want to compromise because what he wants, sees, feels, or senses could be violent or kill him. I think if he can prevent it, he wants Shin away from it. He’s trying to protect her from a future that could hurt her.

It almost feels like miscommunication.

OKAY SO THE REVELATION I NEARLY SHOUTED OVER

for those of you, if any, are tlou fans, this is… horrifyingly similar to the ranch argument

To try to summarize for those who don’t know, Joel and Ellie are forced together across post-apocalyptic America because Ellie is immune to the virus and Joel was tasked with escorting her to a group of people (the fireflies) who were going to try and make a cure out of Ellie’s immunity.

Joel’s brother, Tommy, worked for the fireflies. They make it to his place after a few months spent together. They’ve bonded well by this point, but Joel’s grief over the loss of his daughter still haunts his relationship with Ellie, and Joel tries to get rid of her once they’ve finally made it to Tommy’s.

Ellie finds out, runs away, and her and Joel argue. Joel tries to argue that she will be safer with Tommy instead of himself. Ellie denies that. She says that everyone she’s cared for has died, except for him. She tells him that she wouldn’t be safer with anyone else except for him.

While it’s not so much based around Joel (and some of Ellie’s grief over Riley and Sam) grief, I feel such a similarity of Joel wanting to get rid of Ellie and baylan parting with shin

Joel is afraid of growing more attached to Ellie out of fear that he’ll lose another child. He’s afraid he’ll kill her. It’s a mix of things. So he tries to get rid of her to protect her (he’s such a dumb dad)

That’s similar to what Baylan seems to be doing with shin, at least to me. Trying to part with her, though I believe he definitely does not want to, because their paths don’t align, but also because I don’t think he wants her to get hurt from something that is still unsure (especially with the dead padawan hc)

Baylan is making a decision that I believe he thinks is for the better of both of them. Baylan gets the power and beginning he wants while shin is safe. Shin finds her own power. She follows her ambition and finds a path fit for her. Baylan doesn’t lose another padawan. As Joel was kind of trying (to convince himself) to do. Ellie is safer with Tommy. She gets to her destination. Joel doesn’t lose another child.

The only thing is is it… discounts (??) what the daughters want

Ellie wanted to stay with Joel because all he’s done is protect her and care for her and proven that he is the person she feels safe with. He is what she knows

Shin wants to stay with Baylan because, well, that’s her master. He’s trained and taught her in the way they live. He’s protected her and very obviously cares about her. He’s what she knows

all in all—single dads try to make decision that they think is the best for them and their daughters for separate paths and making sure their girls are protected and safe when in reality the daughters just want their Dads TM

#hmmm does this make. any sense whatsoever.#that is if the baylan and shin stuff is actually even true lolol #im jusf word vomiting I’m so sorry #please forgive me if this isn’t English it is currently #it’s 3:30 am #I don’t even want to sleep I want to keep rotting and listening to loz music 🤠#THERS SSO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT #IM HAVIFN SO MANY CONFLICTING FEELINGS #I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SETTLE ON #it’s time for bed #ahsoka tv #ahsoka spoilers #baylan skoll #shin hati #the last of us #joel miller #ellie williams

14 notes · View notes