#it just really sticks with me because of the cosmic irony of it
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me, about five years ago: hmm, maybe I should spend more time cramming and less time researching stuff to make my fanfic sound plausible. No way is some obscure legal jargon and random crap about jurisdiction ever going to be more useful than taking care of all these prereqs!
me now, at my second job that has me rubbing elbows with lawyers and running around court and city hall: *surprised pikachu face*
.
Okay, but there’s a strange sort of irony in this situation that only you guys can understand, especially those of you who’ve read TWiFFON. Like a brick joke, but in real life.
Of course, it comes at the cost of writing time, but between writer’s block and other stuff, not much was going on, anyway. Some ideas for original work, and I’m kinda torn about posting it because it’s a bit different from my fic.
#thinking aloud#behind the scenes#putting this in the tags because it's been the next day but still on my mind#it just really sticks with me because of the cosmic irony of it#like: yeah what I learned in undergrad really paid off. it just. turns out to not have been the stuff I was expecting#but the sticking point is that I know for a FACT that if one of my relatives knew? they'd be bitching about wasting my time writing#instead of studying and burning myself out completely I guess.#so#you never know what kind of curveballs life throws at you
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If they do canonize Jaune/Weiss, would you still stick with the series until it's conclusion?
I think the ordinary assumption is that it would be the product of a ship tantrum if I didn't, but because there's so much tied up in Jaune/Cinder and so much that Jaune/Weiss doesn't work with, it's not really just a ship tantrum. I won't deny that wouldn't be part of it, but the general assumption is that shipping is unserious and probably indicates, on some level, one being in a position of textual ignorance. I think that broadly speaking this can be true (I've spectated my fair share of fandom, and I have grown up in fandom myself) but equally it can also be levied as an insult, because romance is silly.
But equally so if I did quit the show in such a circumstance, I'm not working with a level of entitlement here. I wouldn't be mad at it in the sense of them owing me something; I would just have to acknowledge I was either wrong in assigning meaning where there wasn't, or there simply wasn't the thematic consistency there.
I think it's very likely that Ozlem does motivate all of the romances, it's just a matter of to what degree. It's very easy to write Ruby/Oscar, Ren/Nora, Blake/Yang, and then give Jaune a joke romance which kind of happens offscreen/all of a sudden. Just because you have x consistency here doesn't mean it's everywhere else because storytelling is organic and elastic, and sometimes, as an analyst, you can actually put together implicit parallels better than the author(s). Or as I've discussed previously before with Reverse Ozlem, you need to make a positive case for why Jaune/Cinder would be a positive resolution (and not a cautionary or altogether unromantic one).
It's worth mentioning that I have literally quit the show once before! I was inoculated in the shitty end of the fandom during V5 and when everybody was busy mocking the end of the volume (because Haven was admittedly messy) and then celebrating Cinder's death - and her apparent permadeath - I just shrugged and quit because I feared they were right and it was all over. This probably explains some of my antipathy towards fandom and fanon at large because it genuinely ruined my experience of the show and made me doubt my intuition. Does that mean fandom/fandon is bad for everyone? No, I needed to grow a spine, but I take issue with fanon at large anyway.
What accompanies Jaune/Cinder isn't just the romantic pairing but the way it realises Cinder's redemption arc and what I think the pairing represents for the major resolution of Ozlem. It might not be obvious, but I am really invested in the bad wizards who were once in love and made it everybody else's problem, and I want to see them be together again even if that reunion means they shortly pass after. The cosmic wound of Ozlem is one of my favourite things in the show (reincarnated lovers and ceaseless conflict... yummy yummy) and is genuinely what holds the story together thematically and foundationally. It's a huge deal. So the things that interest me about R/WBY are all tied up in Jaune/Cinder. Everything I really love about the show (its unique but totally flagged narrative direction) is there, and is part of what I think motivates the argumentation of the ship!
This isn't something contrary to R/WBY's storytelling! Tonal dissonance is a common issue I see in shipping fandoms. But there's nothing about Jaune/Cinder that refutes R/WBY; it's actually the opposite. It's very playful conceptually. Built right into it is this sense of dramatic and cosmic irony with a very fun remix on knight and maiden which is painful but also very beautiful. Jaune is literally no Prince Charming, and Cinder is a villainess (who is very sad).
So I guess if the stuff I love about R/WBY isn't there, what's the point? Lol. You could try to argue that redeemed Ozlem is still possible without Jaune/Cinder, but I don't think it would be nearly as impactful without it, and like - separately - for Jaune and Cinder's characters, if he's paired with Weiss then they just don't get him the way I do and the way I thought they did, and if Cinder's alone I'll cry forever. The truth is that nobody's ever loved you. I genuinely do not know whom else you could pair her with, and it's very likely in this scenario there would be no one. Even if she got a redemption arc (which again, would be fumbled without the romance and not nearly as impactful. Jaune/Cinder is so unlikely when Cinder's redemption is similarly so 'unlikely').
I get it. This is a long way to cry and stomp my feet and say, "I'll quit if they don't make my dollies kiss!" and it probably comes off pretty poorly. But honestly, R/WBY won me over with Ozlem and it won me over with its story and its spirit. I find Jaune/Weiss insipid irrespective of whether I shipped Jaune/Cinder (long before I got into the ship I never liked it). It compromises both Jaune and Weiss' characters and I can't parse how it's supposed to work and it would just suggest laziness. It breaks a lot of modes of my analysis (e.g. Jung). I like Jaune/Cinder because it augments their characters, not weakens them. It actually gives Jaune something unique to do in the story that isn't stand there and look tall and actually explains why he's in this fucking story to begin with and why they'd spend so much development on him. I don't like that Jaune/Weiss turns Weiss into a passive recipient who's finally noticed the nice patient guy and now he gets the girl as a reward. It would speak to some serious storytelling stupidity.
I've quit once and I'll do it again. Lol. Maybe I would wait for the show to be finished to analyse the fallout a few years later. I take a while to get around to things anyway. But also like, my trust in storytelling is completely dead, and it's actually an extremely emotionally difficult position to be arguing for Jaune/Cinder and extremely uncharacteristic of me. So as much as people probably don't want me here, I kind of don't want to be here either. But I like the ship that much. Very sad.
On the other hand... let's define 'canonise'. I think that at this point, Salem/Ozma, Ren/Nora, and Blake/Yang are undeniably canon. Ozlem since V6 (but they broke up), RN since... I want to say they're canon in the sense they both have romantic feelings for each other and we've always known this to some degree (some childhood friend tropes in anime lead to them never admitting feelings? And the RN spin on it seems to be that they've acknowledged how they feel and will 'grow up' but likely end up back together), and BB, well I personally would've said it was canon back in V6, but most of fandom would definitely agree V9. Ruby/Oscar by contrast is a little more controversial, but I would say that it's canon if you're paying attention. The only reason to write Oscar in the way they did would be as a super special love interest looool. But say, Blake/Sun isn't 'canon' in the traditional sense of being endgame, Blake/Ilia isn't 'canon' in the traditional sense either, etc., and there are times the fandom has celebrated things being canon when they're not (reminder: the whole 'Cinder is definitely dead' thing, and largely I would say a lot of the discussion surrounding Blake/Sun at the time of V4/5 treated it like it was a foregone conclusion. Plus most of the bad fanon).
So I think a lot of people might think Jaune/Weiss is now canon after V9 - and I'm willing to allow that this is what the writers believe to be appropriate development because they abandoned that thread for so many volumes and never even had small interactions like Ruby/Oscar or fucking anything, and as such it effectively amounts to either an about-turn or lazy storytelling - I'm in the position where I'm willing to question it. Between now and V10, my only intention is to complete my fanfic, that is, my works-in-progress currently posted, and then assess how much I am able to write and complete in the interim. I just want to make the most of the time I've got. As I remarked in a V9 reflection post, there is actually... not a lot refuted about anything I speculated in the post-V8 period surrounding Knightfall and Cinder's redemption, if not it has been lent more foreshadowing. So I'm not needing to fashion a new position yet.
There are certain things I'm looking for with R/WBY canonshipping, and things like close and intimate hugs (Ruby-Penny) do not constitute that, and they do like engaging in shipbaiting, to my eternal consternation. But what I like about the R/WBY canon ships are the actual emotional stakes, not the superficial fluffy shit. So if I have some hope they are capable of that...
If Jaune/Weiss met my standard for analysing other definitely canon R/WBY ships (independent of Jaune/Cinder) I would give up the ghost and admit defeat with shipping Jaune/Cinder and then yes, I'd quit the show. I don't care if that sounds petty. Jaune/Cinder isn't just a ship to me. I only started shipping it because these are the things I like about R/WBY, not the other way around.
Thanks for your ask anon. It's a good one.
#seraphina's asks#user: anonymouse#knightfall#seraphina ruminates over V9#rwby9#long post#you should expect this type of length by now (:
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I suppose i've never mentioned which marine groups i actually like in general outside of rp [which has dried up at this point] huh?
traitor
death guard obviously, more so for their primarch and horus heresy aesthetic then for the nurgle look tbh. ive grown to accept it, but the nurgle look just doesnt gel with me. thankfully the DG have alot of aesthetic aspects unique to them and not nurgle that i do enjoy so take what ya can huh
on the other end of the scale, i love noise marines and the slaanesh look in general for the sortta pink and purple evil rave look it has going on a lot, and the potential variance there in i find more liberating then nurgle. by contrast their horus heresy days are just kinda meh to me
iron warriors shooty and heavy industrial metal vibes i gel with in all iterations, and the sort of unintentional kinderedness of them and the death guard despite having no notable interactions to date is neat
red corsairs are neat, a pirates life for me and all that. plus the narrative threads leading to them have a lot of potential, and honestly if any chaos marine faction deserved a unique army list it was the red corsairs before either the death guard or the thousand sons
loyalist
marines malevolent, bitter hateful fucks and walking embodiments of the very rot at the imperium's core. i like em because the irony of their existence is actually somewhat tragic because of the cosmic joke they kinda are at the imperiums expense. they're your usual band of vicious psychopaths juiced up on steroids, given a gun and told to kill as many enemies of the imperium as possible by any means necessary, but they specifically are the ones to get shit over it from the rest of the imperial body. theyre actually kinda like heresy era death guard or iron warriors in that respect, in that they get the brunt of criticism despite not really doing anything odd by imperial atrocity standards that isnt already in the tactics primer any imperial general or leader would be expected to follow. and yet they specifically are the ones singled out and shunned by their allies for it. it leaves a lot of range in essence for depiction from unironic assholes with puffed up egos, to bitter jerks cut off from imperial support and taking their frustrations out on other people. always the monsters or slowly becoming them, regardless always a monster of the imperiums own making. or my personal favorite interpretation, the truth of the adeptus astartes. not anything special by space marine standards of bitter assholery because they are the average of behavior in essence with true nobility being an outlier
howling griffons, ironically just because of their quartered colour pattern and because they have griffons as a symbol. their weird obsession with oaths in an oddly more clinical sense then the black templars oath making also creates an odd picture of what they must be and behave like as these otherwise pretty chill dudes, by astartes standards, who will go to insane lengths to fulfill weird requests or jobs at the same time. like, imagine an ultramarine obsessively stalking this one imperial governor who insulted the chapter at one point yet still acting like an upstanding ultramarine about it the entire time.
minotaurs, because again the colour palette and symbolic animal just speak to my tastes so much, i might have the same gold problem as the emperor tbh. the thing that makes them stick to me is the implication of them being a pet project of the high lords, like shit man that raises a lot of interesting questions about wtf is going on there as does the whole possibly immortal/body jumping chapter master thing. like they should have so much more presence in 40k then GW actually lets them have, these assholes deserve a unique army list before the black templars man
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Shadow Star: Chapter 1
Summary: After nearly all the Justice Society of America were killed in a battle against the Injustice Society of America, high school student Courtney Whitmore discovers the Cosmic Staff of Starman and becomes the inspiration for a whole new generation of superheroes. When Barry Allen comes on the scene and becomes stuck on her Earth, Courtney begins to learn that being a hero isn’t all fun and games. The FlashxStargirl crossover.
A/N: This is a Tumblr exclusive, meaning I’m going to post the story on here before I post it to FFn because, timeline wise for the Flash and the Flame series, I can’t post it yet. Or else, maybe it’d start Brady’s own series because it’s his story, rather than Cadence’s. Either way, you all will get the luxury to read it here before i post it to FFN in the future so things may be different by then. Your feedback may help the story take shape! I hope you enjoy!
Chapter One
It’s official, my life is over.
Not that Courtney Whitmore didn’t already know that. There were a few moments in life that made it quite clear her life, as she knew it, was over. There was her father, who had up and disappeared on her when she a young girl. Watching her mother slowly fall into the depths of despair before bringing herself back out it again, was horrifying. As much as Courtney never really talked to her mom about it, just reassured her that she was “Fine,” whenever her mom asked, it was something she wasn’t going to get over.
Then there was her life coming to an end when her mom started to date Pat Dugan, some guy she met while on a trip back to Blue Valley. She and her mom had gotten along in life just fine without any men, they didn’t need anyone else in their lives. They had each other. They were strong together. And then there was Pat and all his weird idiosyncrasies that came along with him. That was fine, she could handle dating.
But then there was the engagement, the wedding, the…future. Not that Courtney didn’t like Pat, he was nice, she surmised. And Mike, her soon to be stepbrother, wasn’t so bad. But she and her mother were just fine on their own. Things had always been fine. Now they had to fit new people into their lives and start over as a new family.
That’s how she understood it.
But then there was the new job and moving? Leaving her friends behind? And moving to Blue Valley? Blue Valley, Nebraska? What was even in Nebraska? Other than nothing. As far as Courtney was concerned, it had nothing, not like California. California had everything; the surf, the sun, the sand, her gymnastics team, her friends, her family, her life.
And…that life was now over, now that they were standing in the middle of the driveway of their new house in Blue Valley, Nebraska. She spent the entire ride acting like it was nothing, like there wasn’t anything stopping them from deciding things weren’t right and they’d turn around. But now that they were stopped and standing outside and looking at their new place—Courtney with her arms folded tightly across her chest—her hopes and dreams and crashed right down into nightmaresville.
“This is ours?!” Mike’s shriek bypassed Courtney’s blonde ringlets and pierced her ears, making them ring. “It’s a mansion!”
Barbara, her mother, slipped her arm around Courtney’s shoulder and gently hugged her daughter to her side. Courtney leaned into her mom, taking in her scent. It was different; clean, smelling of fresh soap rather than the grease that seemed to stick deep to her from her job at the diner. A welcome change, something Courtney didn’t mind too much about the move and their new life.
“What do you think?” Barbara murmured into her daughter’s hair.
What do I think? Courtney tried not to roll her eyes, knowing her mother, somehow, would see it. I think I want to go home, is what I think! Instead, Courtney kept her mouth shut and merely shook her head. A response without having to actually give a response. That was just fine with her, as she tried to figure things out. How she mentally worked out how to talk her mom into letting her go back home to visit Mary sooner than later. How--
Courtney, and the rest of her family, jumped when a large box was dropped to the ground just outside the moving truck. Pat immediately stepped forward; hand outstretched when he saw what box it was. Courtney didn’t see the big deal, honestly, it was just a box, like all the other boxes, that were thrown into the moving truck. Something of Pat’s that was Pat’s. She didn’t quite care what was inside, but...Pat certainly did.
“Hey, sorry, it’s, uh, it’s just…that’s really delicate,” Pat said, taking a step forward. He seemed to wince with each step toward the moving truck, watching as the box was scraped down against the incline. The movers continued tried to move the box forward, only stopping when Pat moved even closer to them. “Okay. But, uh, you know what? I got it. It’s fine.” He waved away the movers and grabbed the loosened belts that seemed to try to hold the box together. He grasped them and quickly tightened them back up. “Let me just fasten these. Thank you. I appreciate that.” He nodded to the movers once more, who shrugged and backed away. Finally, he relaxed, as Courtney could see from his shoulders dropping, Pat flashed a grin toward the newly formed family. “Hey, how about we get something to eat?”
“Oh yeah, let’s go,” Barbara quickly agreed. “After that long car ride? I’m sure we’re all pretty hungry.” She nodded to Mike, who nodded back. Then turned to her daughter. “Court?”
“Fine. Whatever,” Courtney replied quickly, sullenly. She knew her voice had a tone; she hadn’t meant for there to be one. But what did her mom expect? To pick up her entire life and act as if everything was okay? And what was it that Pat was so worried about with that stupid box? As far as she could tell, just from looking at it, it wasn’t that spectacular. It was just a stupid box. Why did he have to be so weird?
Nevertheless, Courtney followed along with her mother, stepfather, and stepbrother away from the house and walked into town. Walked. They could walk into town. In California, they could they had to get everywhere by driving. That was the fun part. Driving everywhere was the best part, being able to do road trips with your friends, being able to listen to music with the windows rolled down and blaring. It wasn’t the same if you were walking with your headphones in.
Upper lip curling, Courtney shoved her hands into the pockets of her flannel shirt and followed behind her family in a slow, grudging walk, taking everything that was going to be her new home. Blue Valley, Nebraska. Ugh. It just sounded weird. A little too…homely.
Not mysterious and wild and free.
That’s not your life anymore, Courtney thought. Get over it. Your mom is happy. That’s all you wanted. With a quiet sigh, she rolled her shoulders back and continued walking. They walked along the sidewalk, the streets turning into what looked like the main street of the city. That was when everything started to creep Courtney out a little, giving her a definite ‘we’re not in Kansas anymore’ moment. (The irony of the thought made her roll her eyes). As they went, she couldn’t help but notice everyone saying ‘hi’ to them as they passed, giving bright smiles as they went. Courtney’s eyes flickered back and forth over all the faces that turned their way.
She shrank in on herself, watching as the people passed, glanced at her mother as she leaned into Pat’s arm and smiled just as widely as the strangers.
“Hey, uh,” Mike’s voice held a tone of worry. He instinctively moved toward his father’s other side. Eyed everyone who walked by him. “Why’s everyone talking to us?” Mike asked.
“It’s called being friendly, Mike,” Pat replied with a chuckle. He grinned broadly and nodded toward the residents as they greeted him as friendly as they greeted him.
“I don’t know…” Mike seemed to shrink back even further. “Just a little weird.” His eyes shifted back and forth over the sea of faces that came his way. Then landed on a pretty girl, about his age, who smiled and waved, saying a cheerful, “Hi,” as she passed the group. Mike’s eyes widened, he turned to watch her for a moment, then faced forward once more. Beaming. He stuck his chest out with pride. “Well, it’s like what I l was saying, Pat, you gotta take the good with the weird!”
Pat exchanged an amused glance with Barbara. ‘It’s ‘dad’, not ‘Pat’,” he reminded his son, a little sternly.
“Courtney calls you Pat!”
“Don’t drag me into this conversation,” Courtney mumbled, still watching all the faces that watched her. What so weird about her walking down the street? Was it her hair? Her clothes? Did they not have blondes in Nebraska? Were her clothes really that out of style? Everyone else seemed to be dressed so…simply. So conservative. What—?
“Ugh!” Courtney walked into her mother, not noticing she’d stopped. Sucking in a sharp breath, Courtney reached up a hand toward her forehead, working to rub away the sharp blast of pain that’d suddenly appeared from their collision. She barely registered her mother’s excited squeak of, “Ritchie’s! Ah! This is where Pat and I met,” along with Pat’s equally excited sound of agreement. “I know,” Courtney murmured. She’d heard the story how many times now?
But Barbara practically swooned as she grabbed Pat’s arm and leaned into her husband’ side. She rested her head on Pat’s shoulder as she explained. “Two years ago, when I came back to sell my mom’s house.”
Still rubbing her forehead, Courtney scowled over at Pat as she asked, “Pat, why were you in Nebraska, anyway?” As she always did whenever the topic came up.
And as always, he said, “I was…I was looking for something,” and deflected, turning the conversation back to the restaurant in front of them. “Should we check it out?”
Barbara and Mike immediately responded in the positive and headed inside. Courtney started to take a step forward, then stopped. She frowned, eyebrows coming together. Something had caught her attention, but what…? She lifted her chin and looked around. Nothing was out of the ordinary, other than everyone who continued to smile and nod toward her as they passed. But…
What’s that sound? Courtney took a step back from the door and looked around. She looked over her shoulder in time to see a flash of light zip through the middle of the street, immediately followed by a gust of wind that blew her hair around her face, landing in her mouth and stuck to her lip-gloss. Sputtering, Courtney whipped the hair away from her face and looked up the street, trying to see what it was that caused that sound, that light, that…whatever it was.
“Court?” Turning back to the diner, Courtney’s wide eyes planted on her mom. “Are you coming, honey?”
“Did you see that?” Courtney stepped toward her, reaching up to tear her hair back from her face.
“See what?”
Opening and closing her mouth, Courtney turned to the side, looked up the street, tried to point out that flash that she’d seen. But nothing was there. And it seemed like no one else had even noticed. They continued to walk down the street, greeting everyone they came across as they went along their business.
As if they hadn’t noticed the…thing at all.
“Uh…” Courtney blinked hard. Shook her head. “Nothing, uh…let’s just eat. Okay?”
“Okay…”
Courtney slipped inside Ritchie’s behind Barbara, once again, her arms coming up to fold across her chest. She slid into the seat across from Pat and sighed, looked away from him. Looked out the window. Wanted to see that blinding flash again and figure out whether she was truly going crazy—which would be the best news ever, because nothing would be real—or if she actually did see something.
And if she did see something, maybe it’d take her out of her misery.
-
The lightning bolt careened through Blue Valley, shooting back and forth, around, and around…before finally coming to a skidding stop, kicking clumps of grass into the air. Barry Allen swung his arms to keep himself from falling over. His chest, with the lightning insignia over the front, heaved as he fought to catch his breath.
People wished for the ability to run at speeds higher than jets, but no one truly understood just how tiring it could be. As it was, Brady Nash truly had no idea how tiring it was, he wasn’t a speedster. In all honesty, he was only half-meta. But it was exhausting watching Barry continue to make the same mistakes time and time again. Especially when it meant they were, potentially, going to get stuck on another Earth.
Again.
With a light sigh, Brady turned his gaze to his mom, watching to see what she thought of her husband having, obviously, gotten them stuck somewhere again. Cadence, however, was good at compartmentalizing. Brady had figured that out years ago, watching as every low blow that could’ve been given to her in life was hurtled her way—from being mocked as a teen mom to facing everything that’d happened in Central City in the last five years. And, every time, she came out the other side with her head held high.
This time, however, Cadence slowly started to look annoyed.
Barry brought his hand up to his ear, trying once more, in vain to reach people who weren’t going to answer. “Caitlin! Cisco!” He waited a few moments, trying to catch his breath. Hazel eyes darted back and forth, waiting. “Cisco! Can you hear me!”
“Barry!” Brady cried, shaking his hands in front of him. “I don’t think they’re going to suddenly answer you if they’ve been silent for the past hour. Even Cisco isn’t quiet for that long!” He lowered his chin, spreading his arms wide before slapping them down at his side. “Face it, we’re stuck.”
“We don’t know that yet,” Barry insisted.
Though his voice didn’t sound very convinced himself. Truth be told, it sounded like he was trying not to believe it, despite having had come to the same conclusion, probably, seconds after having arrived where they were.
“I think we do.” Cadence said calmly. She shrugged, her lips pursing ever so slightly as she gazed at her husband. She thought for a second before continuing, “You know, usually, I love your blind optimism. But right now, it’s time to be realistic.” Cadence pointed directly toward him. “You got us stuck here, Fleet Feet.”
“Wherever ‘here’ is,” Brady quickly chimed in.
“Okay! Okay!” Barry lowered his hand from his ear, not particularly enjoying being ganged up on by his wife and step-son. (As it always seemed to happen). Then, in a flash—which looked like a whirlwind of red to Cadence and Brady—Barry had his suit neatly packed back in his Flash ring and stood in his casual clothes. “How was I supposed to know that running in the Speed Lab was going to open a portal and get us stuck here? I do it every day.”
“Yeah, but you don’t push yourself to see how Bloodwork’s affecting your powers every day, do you?” Cadence reminded him, a slight edge to her tone. But when Barry turned to her with his patented, ‘for real?’ expression, she simply smiled teasingly at him.
Brady smiled at the exchange. Then sighed heavily, tilting his head back all the way so he could gaze at the sky. The cloud filled sky. The sky that wasn’t Earth-1’s sky. They were stuck…somewhere and it certainly wasn’t going to be the first time Barry managed to do that. Flashpoint always seemed to be the first to come to mind. Going to Earth-38 to see Supergirl was another—though he hadn’t been there the first time it happened. When was Barry going to learn?
More importantly, when was it going to stop being so Earth-shattering when it did? Going to another Earth was always a feat, it was worse when their coms went out. A risk they took each time they traveled between Earths.
But not knowing what was coming, not knowing if they were even supposed to exist on that Earth was…unsettling. Looking down at his hands, Brady let out a sigh of relief when he concentrated on his powers and black, shadowy swirls started to appear around his hands. Curling up towards his arms. He still had his powers, that was okay.
A huge wave of relief rolled off him, making him roll his neck on his shoulders.
Even more so than the fact that they were somewhere, by themselves, without a team to get into contact with, without the means of getting back, and not knowing if there was even their own Earth to get back to. Brady remembered something of a sonic boom and being swept off his feet and flung through the air, before he woke up beneath a sign that said Welcome to Blue Valley.
Chances were, they were going to make it their home away from home, until they figured out what to do. And, by the looks of it, they were going to be there for a while.
Tag List: @darknightfrombeyond @hogwarts-is-my-wonderland @foxesandmagic @ben-bcrnes @witchofinterest @jerigoats @perfectlystiles @itsjustgracy @codenamekryptonite @ochub @ocappreciationtag @arrowverseocs
#ocappreciationtag#arrowverseocs#star girl#the flash#crossover#courtney whitmore#oc: brady nash#shadowstar#fic: shadow star#chapter update#by: riley
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From Resolutions to Realities: Three Principles of Manifestation
By Marc Gilson
Did you know that people have been making New Year’s resolutions for at least 4,000 years?
At the beginning of each new year, the ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods to pay off debts and return borrowed items. (Which reminds me...I need to return my friend’s pressure washer!)
Whether or not you make resolutions each year, and whether or not you have specific and measurable goals, the laws of manifestation are at work around you, all the time. In fact…
...they are working for you–or against you–right now.
For the Babylonians, resolutions were a way to wipe the slate clean, refresh the page, and start the new year in good standing with the gods and, perhaps just as important, with the neighbors.
Today we make resolutions centered on improving our lot in life. We vow to lose weight, eat better, get more exercise, write that novel, spend less time on social media, and leave those pesky bad habits behind.
The problem with resolutions, of course, is that we usually fail to follow-through. According to some researchers, only 8% of us actually stick to our New Year’s resolutions. So if you happen to be a New Year’s Resolution, I’m afraid you don’t have much of a chance of being around for very long.
While well-intentioned, the tender blooms of our resolutions are easily overcome by the weeds of our own complacency and a lack of willpower. We know what we want to change, but it’s an uphill battle against our own bad habits or laziness.
How do we make good on our New Year's resolutions?
How do we follow-through and muster the willpower necessary to change our lives for the better?
The truth is that the success of our resolutions really depends on understanding that the very act of making a promise to ourselves is not only an act of intention, but a transaction with the laws of manifestation. In this context, manifestation means creating something that wasn’t there before. But…
...manifestation is not a magic trick. We manifest things all the time.
As a matter of fact, you’re really quite good at manifesting, whether you realize it or not. Look around and you’ll see evidence of your ability to manifest everywhere. Your job, your relationships, your financial situation, your health, and even the things you do and own—these are all the result of your own manifestation ability, at least in part.
Not that every single thing that has happened in your life is because you did something to cause it, although some would insist upon that. Putting talk of fate and destiny aside, there are things that happen that are simply outside of our control. We don’t live in a vacuum, after all. There are countless outside factors and influences that can nudge us (or sometimes shove us!) in this direction or that one.
But if you’ve made some resolutions for this year, and you’re serious about manifesting them, these three principles of manifestation will help you succeed.
1. Shelve the Shoulds
When I begin coaching with someone who is making New Years’ resolutions, the first thing we do together is sort out the “shoulds” from the “wants.” There’s a difference. A “should” is, no surprise, something you think you should do. It’s something on your “to do” list that really “should be done.” You really should quit smoking, lose some weight, or get more sleep.
But unless you also want to do those things, you will probably have a hard go of it.
Why is that? Shoulds tend to be based on aversive thinking, which means they’re focused on what you’re trying to avoid. Why do you want to quit smoking? Well, smoking is bad for you and can lead to all kinds of health problems. So if you smoke, you already know you should quit. But that alone is usually not enough to compel smokers to quit.
The same goes for things like drinking, watching too much TV, overeating, or any other activity that keeps us from being happier and healthier.
You can’t “should” your way to change.
When we try to derive our motivation to change based on the “shoulds” we’re not focused on the benefits of living in a way other than the way we live now. Instead, we’re focused on a bunch of dark and unpleasant things we are trying to avoid. And when you stop and think about it, most of those bad habits we want to quit are done in order to keep us distracted from dark and unpleasant things.
Perhaps you can see the irony here.
Shelve the shoulds. Shoulds won’t help you no matter how valid they are. Instead, begin your resolutions with wants. If you really want to see some change, ask yourself this question: “What is my heart’s desire?” Nevermind what you should or should not be doing. What’s really in your heart when it comes to change? Would you like to be someone with a healthy body and mind? What if that was possible for you?
Take a moment to vividly imagine that kind of life. What if there were things you could do–simple actions, repeated over time–that could give you that kind of life?
Let the power of that vision fuel your focus and actions.
Can you shelve your shoulds? Can you imagine a life that lives up to your hopes and dreams? It’s possible. It just takes the right kind of focus and a little effort. Which leads us to the second principle.
2. The Universe Rewards Action
Small deeds done are greater than great deeds planned.
~Peter Marshall
There’s no getting around it: nothing will change the way you want it to without you doing something about it. And this is where things get a little difficult, right? Good intentions are a dime a dozen. An idea without a plan of action is just a fantasy.
To manifest–to bring something tangible into existence–we need to act.
We are living in a world of cause and effect. What many don’t realize is that the key to manifesting is to live at the “cause” end of the cause-and-effect spectrum. That’s not easy. Effects, as we know, flow from causes. So living at the “cause end” means living where the power is.
According to Henry David Thoreau, “the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” That quote is a powerful reminder that we can’t let complacency dictate the value of our lives.
Thoreau was warning us to stop living at the “effect” end of the spectrum—the end where we get stuck on what has happened to us, who has mistreated us, and all our reasons why we can’t succeed or thrive. Shifting from the effect to the cause end means taking some responsibility for our lives and taking actions that will move us in the chosen direction. And it’s worth reminding ourselves that the treasure chest of…
...real self-empowerment is unlocked only with the key of personal responsibility.
This is a subtle but important point. It’s very tempting to live as a victim of circumstance. In fact, our society entices us to do just that by rewarding the dramatic victimhood that dominates our attention like a drug. This need not be our lot in life. When we show a willingness to take responsibility and recognize our role as the primary cause of the experiences we have in life, whether or not we directly caused it…
...we find ourselves free to act in the most powerful of ways.
The wonderful and mysterious thing about this idea is that when we do act–when we begin living at the cause end of the spectrum–the universe responds to help us. Whether this is a cosmic or spiritual phenomenon or simply the result of our own mental focus can be debated.
Either way, if we want to change, we have to be willing to act and to apply the efforts of our dreams, wishes, and intentions in a way that is in alignment with our wants (not our shoulds), even if on a small scale.
Small steps are still steps.
Small steps, when added up over time, are what often create the greatest change.
3. The Universe Also Rewards Patience
While we know we must take action in order to see positive change in our lives, we must also balance that action with a healthy dose of patience. It’s easy to be impatient when it comes to change. We want it now! But high-value, core-level changes take time.
In Taoism, there is the idea of Wu Wei (which I’ve written about before). Wu Wei isn’t easy to translate but it’s basically the idea of “non action” or “effortlessness.” In other words, patience.
Wu Wei doesn’t mean being lazy or slothful…
...(no offense to sloths!). It simply means being calm and still enough to detect the natural flow of the energies around us. These energies can work to our advantage...if we get out of their way a little bit.
The best way I know of to cultivate patience and awareness of the flow around us is meditation.
Taoism holds that the universe unfolds just as it should and will, and that we complicate matters for ourselves when we try to force it to do otherwise. The rains will fall, the winds will blow, and the river will flow. Whether or not we’re prepared is irrelevant.
So we might as well get on board and join the flow.
Wu Wei reminds us that sometimes the best way to get things done is to be patient and tune our senses to the currents of momentum already flowing through and around us.
I can’t think of a better way to emphasize this point than with a quote from one of my personal spiritual mentors—a man who passed away only a few weeks ago, but who left behind a powerful legacy of wisdom, love, and humor.
Let the natural flow of the universe course through your being,
and harmonize your soul.~Ram Dass
What’s on your agenda to accomplish in 2021? Now you know the formula to success:
Focus + Action + Patience = Results.
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So, I tried to answer this ask, and then tumblr fucked up the formatting, so I had to take a screenshot of it and make it as this post instead. My apologies to @handlewithcharacter, especially since she has been oh so patient in waiting forever for me to fill out this prompt. I hope it was worth the wait my dear.
It was Lucy’s idea.
The thing was, both of them needed a new start. Wyatt was fresh off the divorce from Jess, Lucy needed to get away from her mom, and it was less expensive to find a place together than to try and live alone.
The whole “we slept together once and don’t talk about it” thing was kind of awkward, sure, but they were making it work. It was better just to stay friends.
Which was why Wyatt spit his orange juice across the table when Lucy sat down next to him at breakfast and said, “we need to have a wedding.”
“We need to what.” Wyatt grabbed a towel to mop up the juice.
“Not a real wedding,” Lucy protested. “A fake one. We just send out the invitations.”
“If we send out the invitations, people will come. They’ll expect a wedding.” Lucy’d had some interesting ideas but she’d never gone full-on loony bin like this.
“Not if we only send out invitations to rich people.” Lucy pushed a list towards him. “Listen. Think about it. What do you do when you’re invited to a wedding that you can’t attend? You send a gift. Gifts like toasters and other household appliances. Appliances we need.”
...okay, she had a point. Some people might even just send money. “Are you sure about this?”
“Positive,” Lucy insisted. “What could possibly go wrong?”
_____________________________________________________
It was Jiya’s idea.
Jiya was technically Flynn’s secretary, but in reality she was so much more than that. After Lorena and Iris died, it was Jiya who picked up the pieces and kept Flynn going. She ran his professional life behind the scenes, tag-teaming with Stiv to make sure that all that Flynn had worked for didn’t crumble the same as he did.
It was thanks to her that the company was still running, honestly. It was thanks to her he hadn’t just laid down in the dirt to join his wife and child.
But being appreciative of Jiya, and trying to take some of her suggestions about being social again, did not equate to going to the wedding of two complete strangers.
“Absolutely not. I’m not crashing a wedding.”
“You can’t crash a wedding if you’ve been invited.”
Flynn waved the invitation in the air. “I don’t know this...” He looked at it again. “Lucy Preston or Wyatt Logan.”
“They know that,” Jiya pointed out, smirking. “Look, they’re having a wedding, right? And they’re right in the Bay Area surrounded by these jerkoff tech billionaires and millionaires who made their money off apps and whatever. So they probably figured, hey? Why not invite a few of those rich assholes? None of them will ever come, the invitation probably won’t get past their secretary, and the secretary will arrange to send a nice gift as a consolation for not being able to make it. Nobody’s going to double check whether their boss really knows these people. Who’d have the audacity to send a wedding invitation to someone they don’t know, right?”
Flynn had to admit, that was... a clever plan. He had to admire this Miss Preston and Mr. Logan for it. Moving in together, starting a life together, that was expensive and full of hidden costs. Tricking some people too rich to care into gifting them some household appliances or money? It was kind of genius.
And it would be kind of fun to surprise these people, kind of play their joke back on them. He’d still give a generous wedding gift, of course. But who said he couldn’t have some fun with this?
“...you know what, Jiya? You’re right.” He smiled - that smile that Jiya always said made him look like a mob boss. “Would you like to be my plus one?”
Jiya grinned. “Oh, as if I’d miss this.”
It would be fun - and what could possibly go wrong?
_____________________________________________________
“...he RSVP’d,” Lucy said faintly.
Wyatt stared at her. “Who did?”
He was in the middle of unwrapping the lovely gifts they’d gotten from several other millionaires on the list. So far they had a toaster, a printer, monogrammed pajamas, and a set of plates. Excellent.
“Garcia Flynn. You know, the security guy?”
Flynn, yeah, Wyatt remembered him. He’d created a security app with his best friend, based it off his extensive war record, his work with Interpol, and the NSA.
“Isn’t he the one who...”
“Lost his wife and daughter in that home invasion, yeah.” Lucy sounded sad.
It had been a horrible twist of cosmic irony.
“...wait.” The actual meaning of what Lucy had said caught up with him. “He RSVP’d? He’s coming?”
“He’s coming,” Lucy confirmed. “He’s bringing a friend.”
“To the wedding.”
“Yes.”
“That is not actually happening.”
“Yes.”
Wyatt stared at Lucy. Lucy stared back.
“...you know when I called you the Bonnie to my Clyde I was... joking about the whole causing trouble part, right?”
“Trust me,” Lucy replied, her voice a bit strangled, “I’m wishing I could smack my past self right about now.”
_____________________________________________________
Lucy had never been more grateful that her friends were all chaotic neutral gremlins who hated capitalism.
Jess, Rufus, Amy, Denise, and Michelle all leapt right into the wedding planning. Something small, nothing too fancy, basically a party except Michelle had sweet-talked her pastor into letting her borrow the church on a Saturday afternoon and they’d have the fake ceremony there first.
Michelle, as the only one who’d set foot in a church recently (Jess was half-convinced she’d catch fire the second she crossed the threshold), was going to pretend to be the pastor and conduct the ‘ceremony’.
Then they’d all retire to the backyard of Rufus’s friend-slash-boss-slash-father-figure’s place for the party. Mason was conveniently out of town at a science conference in England, and Rufus was house sitting.
It was all going to be perfectly manageable. So long as Mom didn’t find out about this stunt, anyway.
Lucy picked out her dress, something fun and simple, with a short, flared skirt so that she could easily dance in it, and a cute little hat-veil that was like the white version of the chic funeral hat that the wife who definitely killed her husband wore in the movies.
Wyatt was prepped (Jess, Rufus, and Lucy had all separately had to give him pep talks about breathing and not messing this up for them), Lucy looked fabulous, Mom was still in the dark, nothing could possibly go wrong...
“...oh my God, that’s Garcia Flynn!?” Amy hissed.
Lucy peered around her sister’s head and... oh holy fuck.
Six foot four of pure handsome was standing towards the back of the church in a well-cut navy suit. Next to him was a young woman who seemed to be around Amy’s age in a light purple dress that beautifully complimented her dark skin and brown eyes.
“Nobody said anything about him being sex on a stick, holy fuck,” Amy whispered.
Jess looked offended, then stared down at herself as if silently asking herself if she wasn’t sex on a stick.
Lucy had to agree with her sister, though. That man was... holy shit. She needed a tall glass of water.
The back door to the room opened and Wyatt and Rufus shoved inside. “Who the fuck is that woman with Flynn!?” Rufus whispered.
“His plus one,” Lucy answered. “Someone named Jiya Marri.”
“Fantastic, thank you, excuse me,” Rufus said, and pushed both Amy and Lucy out of the way. “Duty calls.”
“What duty!?”
“My duty of escorting that lovely woman to her seat, ‘scuse me.”
“Don’t use a Star Wars pickup line!” Lucy hissed after him. “Rufus! Rufus!”
They all watched as Rufus walked up to the two people, spoke with them for a moment - and then Flynn laughed while Jiya scowled.
“...he used the Star Wars pickup line,” Amy moaned.
Wyatt grabbed Lucy and hauled her to the side. “Watch the dress!” she warned him.
“Did you see him?”
“Of course I saw him!”
“But did you see him!?”
As far as Lucy knew, only she and Jess knew Wyatt was bi. He’d had several drunken benders, cry sessions, and breakdowns over it.
“Yes, Wyatt,” she sighed. “I noticed he’s a tree and I’m a squirrel. He’s a jackhammer, I’m a block of cement. He’s a Popsicle, and I’m a kid with a sugar addiction on a ninety degree summer day.”
“Please stop with the metaphors,” Wyatt groaned, screwing his face up. “Why do I still find you hot?”
“Because I’m a goddess. Wyatt.” She grabbed his arms and shook him. “What. Do we do.”
“I was going to ask you that! This was all your idea!”
“I won a wet t-shirt contest,” Jess said. “Twice. I’m sex on a stick.”
“That’s nice,” Amy said, not even looking at Jess. “C’mon, I think Rufus needs rescuing, Flynn’s just watching him dig himself a grave with Marri.”
She grabbed Jess by the wrist and dragged her out while Jess continued to look betrayed.
Lucy took several deep breaths. “Okay. Okay it’s fine. We’ll just... we’ll go through with it, it’s too late to back out now, and we’ll be polite, and... and...”
God she was going to have to meet the most handsome man she’d ever seen in her life and not flirt with him. She could cry.
“It’ll be fine,” she concluded.
Wyatt looked doubtful.
_____________________________________________________
Flynn had not expected the wedding to be so small. Then again, he wasn’t even technically supposed to be here, so.
There was just the pastor, her wife and their two children, the maid of honor (who was apparently the sister of the bride), the groom’s ex-wife (who was blatantly and hopelessly trying to get the maid of honor’s attention), and the groom’s friend, who was failing at flirting with Jiya.
They all seemed like very kind people, at least, and fiercely loyal to Lucy and Wyatt, the intended couple. They’ve been best friends for years, Amy, the sister, said. Though they’d never call themselves that, Jess, the ex-wife, added.
“This isn’t what I thought it would be,” Jiya admitted to him softly.
“Me neither.” He’d expected something big and fussy. He felt bad for crashing now.
The pastor, Michelle, asked for everyone to please be seated, and then the groom took his spot at the altar with her.
Huh. The guy, Wyatt Logan, was... huh. He glanced over at Flynn nervously, his cheeks going a little pink, and then glanced quickly down at this shoes, shifting his weight.
Oh. Flynn hadn’t been with anyone since he’d lost his family, but he knew what that look meant. And Wyatt Logan was exactly the kind of pretty that Flynn had a weak spot for.
Then the doors opened and the bride walked in.
Flynn’s jaw went slack.
Lucy Preston was stunning. Her wedding dress was a little casual, and her veil barely counted, but she looked like she’d stepped off a runway. The smirk on her face as she looked at everyone was making it hard for Flynn to breathe.
She caught him staring at her and winked, and Flynn wondered if God was punishing him for all the things he’d screamed when he’d lost Lorena and Iris because holy shit, the first two people he’d been attracted to since his wife were standing right in front of him and marrying each other.
“...you need a roof for that barn you’re raising, Boss?” Jiya murmured, playfully glancing down at his lap and then back up to his face.
Flynn knew he wasn’t raising a barn, or anything else, but he glared at her all the same.
Jiya stifled a laugh.
_____________________________________________________
“He’s still staring,” Wyatt whispered.
Lucy struggled not to glance over her shoulder. So far, the reception was going well. Denise worked in Homeland so apparently she and Flynn knew some of the same people and were getting along, Rufus had (with Jess’s help) managed to get a second chance with Jiya and was now making her laugh, and Amy was having fun playing DJ.
And Flynn kept staring at them.
“It’s just because we’re the couple who had the audacity to invite him to their six-person wedding,” Lucy murmured.
“N-no,” Wyatt replied. “I think I know what that woman in Jaws felt like.”
“As if you would object to being devoured by him.”
“I wouldn’t, but he thinks I’m married!”
Lucy bit her lip. “We never did talk about the time we...”
Wyatt blushed. “We agreed we were... better as... I know I hurt you. Going back to Jess. I fucked a lot of shit up.”
Lucy took his hand. “Look. We can keep just being friends. Or. We can split that six layer sundae. If you know what I mean.”
“Would he... he’s a millionaire, Lucy. We’re nobody.”
“He’s a millionaire who showed up to a random wedding, Wyatt. He’s lonely.”
“He’ll be appalled.”
“You’re the one who said he was Jaws. It’s San Francisco! Silicon Valley has sex parties, we are the least scandalous thing around here.”
Wyatt flushed, but squeezed her hand. “Okay.” He nodded. “Okay. What’s the worst that could happen, right?”
_____________________________________________________
Wyatt had never ached so much in his fucking life. Pun intended. Holy shit.
“I’m not moving for a week,” he moaned into the pillow.
Lucy laughed and Flynn (Garcia) lightly smacked his ass. “Lazy.”
Wyatt rolled over and grinned up at him. Flynn was handsome enough when he looked serious, but when he smiled it was like sunshine. “You like me anyway.”
“Do I, though?”
“Three days of sex suggests...” Lucy pointed out, trailing off with a wink.
“Talk about an unconventional honeymoon,” Flynn pointed out.
Wyatt froze, and he felt Lucy do the same.
“Um,” Lucy went pink. “About that.”
_____________________________________________________
“So nice to be invited to a real wedding this time,” Flynn noted as they took their seats.
“Oh my God,” Wyatt groaned.
“Shhh, you got us out of the deal, you can’t complain.” Lucy kissed his cheek.
He had, in fact, gotten the two of them out of it.
“I’m going to go find Jiya,” he told them, kissing Wyatt’s forehead and Lucy’s hair. He was the one giving her away.
As he stood up, he heard Amy say to Jess, “Wait, are you flirting with me?”
All of them groaned.
#mads answers things#mads writes stuff#timeless#timeless fanfic#garcyatt#garcyatt fanfic#handlewithcharacter
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Discord Thread || Kami & Tee
Discord thread featuring: Tee & @kamidesai
When: 26th December 2020
Mentions: N/A
Description: Tee and Kami get trapped in an elevator together.
Trigger Warnings: feels
Tee
Christmas Day turned out to be pretty good, all things considered. He had a very needed talk with Jack and got to spend some time with him on Christmas, just as they used to when they were together. Add to that the fact that his brother wasn’t a total asshole as usual, and it made his day as good as it could get. So he was in a very good mood today as he walked through the mall to buy himself something with a gift voucher he received. Being his lazy self, he decided to take the elevator instead of the stairs, only to realise that someone else was already in there with him. Shit. What was it with him and running into exes lately? It was too late to get out without making it too obvious so he just pressed the button for his floor and coughed awkwardly. “Hey Kam.”
Kami
Malls. Disgusting things really, if you think about it. Screaming kids, people in a hurry mixed with people who are trying to kill time. Top that with endless employees in every store that hate their job, germs, and gum ball machines older than your parents, and it was a cocktail for a terrible experience. However, his favorite vape shop just happened to be on the second floor, and after picking up some more cartridges, Kami Desai found himself in the last spot he’d like to currently be. “Heyyyy.” He nodded, glancing over at his ex boyfriend momentarily before pretending to look at something on his phone. “How’s it going?” Yeah, he really shouldn’t try to make small talk.
Tee
Tee wished it wouldn’t be so awkward between them but their breakup was both recent and messy. How could some people say they managed to stay friends with their exes? It sounded fake to Tee, especially since even things with Jack only started getting better recently. “It’s going well...work’s good, family doing okay.” This kind of felt like pulling teeth. Good thing he only needed to bear it for a but more time before he could make a run for it. Or at least that’s what he thought until the elevator made a strange noise and came to an abrupt halt. What the fuck.
Kami
Kami was nodding along to Tee’s answer, but the second the fucking elevator went down, everything else was out the window. Kami was one who was easy to panic. Always ready for shit to hit the fan, and he honestly didn’t like tight spaces to begin with. “Oh...” he started, turning around in a full circle with both hands in his hair. This was his worst nightmare, being in a stick elevator, and with his ex boyfriend??? My god. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.” He cursed, and then looked up as if he was someone silently praying for the elevator to live. “Oh my god. We’re gonna DIE in here.” A little dramatic, but what else was new?
Tee
Tee wasn’t the biggest fan of tight spaces and getting stuck in an elevator wasn’t in his top ten list of things he wanted to do but he tried to remind himself this was a mall in the middle of the day, someone was bound to get them out soon. His attempt at calming thoughts went out the window when he saw the way Kami was panicking. “We’re not going to die”, he said, trying to stay calm. Tee pressed in the emergency button and hoped someone would actually be coming for them soon because his ex didn’t exactly seem to be in a position to wait. “There, see? I pressed the button so now they’re going to realize we’re stuck in here and come get us out. No dying.”
Kami
Kam wasn’t surprised that Tee sounded so done with his behavior already, something he was used to from their relationship. Kami could be a lot to handle, and he knew that, but that didn’t stop him from acting any less dramatic. “How do you know? This thing could just like, free fall at any minute, and we could be DEAD.” Even if the elevator did drop, it’s not like they were that far from the ground. Not that it was going to happen even remotely similar to that. “I’m telling you tee, I don’t have a good feeling about this.” He huffed, and then started to turn in a circle as if that was somehow going to make the situation better.
Tee
As much as he tried to ignore Kami’s words, Tee couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the elevator free falling to their deaths. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he tried to focus on the situation at hand. One of them had to stay level headed as both of them panicking over their imminent deaths would be a complete disaster. “It’s not going to do that, there’s like...elevator safety protocols and all that.” Was there? Who knows, but if it helped Kam calm down he was going with it. “Turning around in a circle isn’t going to help, you’re just going to make yourself more anxious.” Not that he thought it was going to work. Kami didn’t listen to his advice while they were dating, he doubted he was going to listen now. “How about we just sit down?”
Kami
Oh great, it wouldn’t be Tee without the man trying to tell Kami what he needed to do. Which of course wasn’t how Tee meant it to come off at all. Kam was just an idiot, and quick to assume things. This was one of their many issues. “Sit down?! How can I just sit down?” He asked like no one had ever requested he do anything worse. You’d think Tee was asking him to break through the doors and jump to his death. “Do you believe in karma?” He suddenly asked, knowing it was a drastic change in subject, but it’s not like Kam was ever without dramatics
Tee
If there was one thing Kam was great at, it was changing subjects at the click of the fingers. He could go from completely panicking about the elevator falling to their death to karma like it was no big deal. And obviously his advice fell on deaf ears and only made things worse. What was so horrifying about sitting down? All the pacing did was put extra pressure on the elevator so if it was about to fall, wouldn’t that make it worse? Saying that wouldn’t make much of a difference though so he didn’t bother. “What does karma even have to do with all this?” he asked, sitting down himself.
Kami
“Well, besides the irony of “what goes up must come down”, I’m feeling like maybe I’ve done something to deserve this.” He answered easily, looking at his ex boyfriend with a worried expression. It was clear that he really did believe what he was saying, which should come as no surprise. “Yesterday, I called in sick to work, but I wasn’t sick.” He stated in a rushed tone, a hand moving through his hair out of sheer nerves before he cleared his throat. “Every time I lie, something bad happens. It never fails, and now look where I’ve gotten us...”
Tee
“You know what? You’re absolutely right. I’m sure the elevator got stuck because the cosmic gods wanted to get back at you for calling in sick to work when you weren’t really sick”, he said, rolling his eyes to show just how much he believed what he was saying. “Meanwhile, I’m stuck here with you and I can assure you that I’ve gone to work whenever I was supposed to do how is this fair?” Tee was a pretty sceptical person and didn’t believe in this sort of thing so the chances of him thinking this was karma were slim. Unless this was faith’s way of getting back at him for trying to make Jack jealous...but no. This sort of thing didn’t exist.
Kami
Kam have his ex a glare when he decided to get sassy, something he was very much used to, but it was still one of his major pet peeves. Kami wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the box, but he hated more than anything to feel like he was stupid. “I’m sure you’ve done more than just be late for work.” The tattoo artist countered, not really meaning to sound vindictive, but he kind of did anyway. Oops. “Are you saying you’ve never done anything wrong?”
Tee
Tee doubted they were still talking about lying at this point and something told him this was a dog at their relationship, which he didn’t appreciate. “No, I’m saying that when I did something wrong I admitted it instead of trying to blame others when things go badly for me especially when they’re only trying to help.” It wasn’t as simple as that, and he knew that but Tee was never known for keeping his mouth shut. At least they weren’t talking about their imminent elevator death anymore.
Kami
Kam looked at the other male like he might as well have just been slapped across the face. He hadn’t been specific in his snap at Tee, so to have it turned around on him like that, when he had nowhere to go...yeah, Tee had to know this wasn’t going to end well. Kam wrapped his arms around himself, and closed his eyes, feeling like he was going to start getting unnecessarily worked up if he didn’t practice some deep breathing. At least he learned that from their relationship. “I don’t wanna do this with you.” He finally spoke through a shuttered breath, not even able to look at the younger as he tried to relax.
Tee
Tee knew what the other was doing to keep himself calm, probably because it was something he suggested to him when they were still together. Good to know Kam had at least taken his advice for something. “Fine, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He wasn’t being fair and he knew it but for some reason Kami always managed to bring out the worse side of him. “You’re always running away from any serious conversation, even when there’s nowhere for you to go.” And okay, bringing that up again while they were still stuck in an elevator was not his smartest move.
Kami
Kam was really calm natured, he kind of had to be with all the shit he went through growing up. He was one to push it all down, ignore it, and it’ll go away. So, when he DID get pushed to his limit, it was like waiting for a volcano to explode. He looked like he’d been pushed towards a cliff when Tee took a dig at him, something he did not wanna deal with today. “And here you are, as always, trying to force people to talk when they don’t want to. Just because you’re a “therapist”.” Kami used air quotes, and then pushed some hair out of his face. “I’m not paying you to listen to my issues, you don’t have to pretend like you care.”
Tee
This wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before and yet it still hurt to hear. Tee still couldn’t believe Kami thought this of him; that he tried to force him to talk because it’s his job. “Yeah, because it’s so unheard of for someone to want their boyfriend to talk to them because they care”, he said, rolling his eyes. It was his way of denying how much his words actually hurt. What was it with him dating people who refused to open up and tried to brush off his attempts to help as ‘wanting to be a therapist’? “I never wanted to force you to talk but considering we broke up I thought we could at least do that now that you don’t have to hide and run away from your problems anymore.” Clearly he thought wrong. “And I can’t believe you think I pretend to care.”
Kami
“I just don’t know what you want from me.” Kam snipped, and then finally sunk down the wall of the elevator until he was seated. His arms crossed over his chest, holding himself while he turned to look towards their reflection on the back of the doors. This was his worst nightmare, and no amount of meditation seemed to be calming him down. “Some people find it easy, just blurting out what they’re thinking and feeling every second of every day. People post their whole fucking life story on Facebook, we literally watch people get together and breakup through online status’. We’re programmed to be so sensitive, and so open, that when someone isn’t that way, it’s wrong.” He looked over at his ex, an expression of defeat on his features. “I wasn’t programmed to talk about things. I was taught to keep it all to myself, and eventually it would go away.”
Tee
Tee felt bad about pushing him now that he heard what he had to say but at least he was no longer shouting about their imminent deaths so it worked in distracting him. Sort of. He was going to count it as a win. "I never said that it's wrong that you're not sensitive or open. But being told that I was only saying what I was because I was seeing you the way I see my clients...that was not fair because you know I was only trying to help you. You were going through a tough time, even though you never actually wanted to talk about it. Do you know what it feels like to be helping all these different people every day and being unable to help the person I care the most for in my life? It sucks. And to have a relationship go up in flames for the same reason is a tough pill to swallow."
Kami
Kam was starting to feel bad, which was really annoying, because he didn’t feel like he was the one who should feel bad. That was the most times he’d even thought of the word feel in his life. But seriously, what his ex boyfriend was saying, really set heavy on him. He never really considered how hard it must have been for Tee to not be able to help the one person he really wanted to. “I get that, and I’m sorry. I wish I wasn’t such a basket case.” He muttered, and shoved a hand into his hair.
Tee
Getting an apology didn’t make Tee feel good like he thought. Instead he just felt bad for putting Kami in a position where he called himself a basket case. Tee set down with his back against the wall and ran a nervous hand through his hair. “You’re not a basket case”, he sighed, shaking his head. “You’re a bit...unusual, I’ll give you that. But it’s what made me fall for you in the first place so I consider it a good thing. I’m just so tired of people thinking I’m psychoanalysing them or something and acting like I don’t really care about them.”
Kami
Kam chanced a glance at his ex boyfriend when he mentioned that his uniqueness was what made him call for the cook in the first place. It made him blush a bit, because like, that was sweet, but he quickly changed his facial expression once he realized he was being too soft. It’s not like this was a special moment, was it? They were stuck on an elevator, and the whole “fall for you” thing was past tense. “Well, I’m tired of everyone trying to actually psychoanalyze me, and I guess it’s just a bigger trigger than I thought...”
Tee
Who would have thought that having a conversation that they should have had ages ago would actually calm Kami enough to stop panicking? Or at least he looked like he was doing a little better. He wasn't going to make the mistake of assuming his feelings ever again. "Couldn't we have talked about it then instead of getting so defensive every time I so much as try to help? I just wanted to help out someone I love - loved. Was that such a crime? I'm sure you would have done the same if it was the other way round."
Kami
Kam just sighed, exasperated from the situation, and so badly wishing those elevator doors would open, and they could be free of this personal little hell. Plus, it kind of hurt to hear how quickly Tee changed love to past tense. Not that it mattered...but yeah. Fuck. “Maybe I’m just not like other people, Tee. That’s my issue. I never act like anyone else things I should.”
Tee
They weren’t getting anywhere with this and Tee found himself wishing, not for the first time, that the elevator doors would open. The truth was that they were both too different and things between them were bound to end badly. He just wished it hadn’t taken them so long to come to that realisation. It would have spared the both of them a good deal of pain and hurt. “I already told you that you not being like other people; it’s what I like so much about you. But what I said never really mattered. At the end of the day you’ll think whatever you want to.” And there was nothing that Tee could do about it.
Kami
Kami only got more and more upset as the words continued out of his ex boyfriend’s mouth, stinging just the same way they did every other time he’d said something like that. “Fine. You win. I don’t wanna argue anymore.” Kam threw up his hands, and then like magic, the elevator door opened. It’s like the tattoo artist had to give in as the secret passcode to opening doors. Literally, he found himself looking around for a hidden camera, wondering how in the fuck timing managed to work out so well for them. He stood up, turning to look at the other male with lips pressed tightly together for a moment. “Well. It was good seeing you. Don’t be a stranger...” don’t be a stranger?? That was probably the last thing Tee was expecting to hear, but he didn’t give him a chance to say anything prior to Kam turning, and exiting the elevator before it could eat them again.
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Some Thoughts On Taking Over The World
Taking over the world is a trope that’s amused me for years. Or taking over a country, or a galaxy, or a continent, or a kingdom of any size, or whatever. It’s a staple of villains everywhere, both in fiction and out. The problem is that so few of them would really know what to do with the world afterward.
Oh, some of them have plans that give them a decent reason to want to do that. They think they can Make Things Better. Or they already rule something and want to extend their territory. Or they really just want use the power to destroy everything, which is a bit of a different trope altogether. Whether they’d actually be able to Make Things Better, or should extend their rule, are other debates entirely. At the very least they have a plan for afterward, and that’s Good.
But the ones who are just greedy or just want to conquer? I often wonder what they’d actually do with the world once they owned it.
Consider: it’s easy to say one wants to be a dictator, and another thing to do it well. Most fictional villains only look at the short term - if they rule poorly, then who cares, the people can be subjugated by force and the pathetic little rebels who spring up can make sure the Evil Armies get some exercise. Long-term, however, resources get depleted, people die, and the entire enterprise rots from the inside. They can extend their own feeling of wealth and greatness by demanding more from the people, but eventually a critical point will be reached. The rebels will grow more desperate and powerful as they gather support, surrounding powers (if they exist) will see the villain’s property as easy pickings where the people will downright invite them in, resources will deplete (both human and otherwise), and everything will fall apart leaving the villain with nothing in a fit of cosmic irony.
Assuming the villain in question doesn’t want to end up with a dying kingdom, though? That’s going to be a lot of really boring work. Running a government requires worrying about a lot of tedious stuff like laws and regulations and maintaining public order. It’s all fun and games until economics and infrastructure and occupational health and safety become your problem to solve. Their new empire is going to be less about reclining on pillows while being fed grapes by beautiful people and more about approving minutiae and long lifeless meetings about the state of affairs, unless they have competent people they trust to handle things without them. Trust, however, isn’t something villains tend to have in large amounts. Maybe the monotony will be broken up by making speeches and getting a lot of applause, but most of their life isn’t going to be that.
Even assuming these hypothetical villains do happen to have people they can fully trust to handle things without betraying them? If they choose to leave the place in the hands of those people and run off to do other things, that highlights how much they don’t actually want to rule the world. They just enjoy the process of getting it, not keeping it, and it’s a bit of a disappointment to everyone involved when they actually succeed. If the villain is lucky, they’ll be good enough to hold everything together while continuing to conquer, but the boring parts will always be there to distract them from the “fun” parts. Unless they’re a genius who is brilliant at multitasking they’re likely to end up messing up at least one of those careers that they’re trying to balance.
Occasionally - and this is very rare - the villain in question successfully takes over and runs the place decently, and chooses to be satisfied with that. Most, however, seem to forget one thing: in almost all cases, they’re going to die eventually. The more the “decent” state of affairs relies on the villain in question to be present and in a state of good health, the more likely it is that it’ll all fall apart once they’re gone (or incapacitated). The less it relies on their personal existence, the more likely they are to render themselves irrelevant or reduce their own power, which is generally not the goal. Sure, they could leave the place to other people, but there’s plenty of historical examples of a genius ruler leaving their empires to others and everything falling apart because the people they left them to weren’t geniuses. See Alexander the Great’s empire as a real-world example of this (as well as an example of a genius who managed to continue to conquer and rule decently at the same time).
Maybe it doesn’t matter, and the villain just wants the world now and doesn’t care what happens afterward. But most who are content to settle down and rule tend to want their changes to stick. So, in the end, the best-case scenario involves either finding some miracle system of government that keeps themselves relevant while easily adapting to whatever fools are left in charge when their time is up, or finding a successor who’s up to the challenge of continuing their work, both of which pose their own unique difficulties.
TL;DR: Taking over the world is the first step, and everything afterward is probably going to be disappointingly boring, difficult and terrible in comparison. It’s probably worth asking whether it’s worth the trouble.
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So, what's the deal with Kingdom Hearts? I mean, it's a Disney/Final Fantasy crossover, right? Hard to see why would that cause such dedicated whatever.
I’ve had this in my drafts for a while, and given today’s the series’ 17th anniversary it seems like the time to finally get back and finish it. Simple answer: the music slaps and you just want the soft children to get to go home.
Long answer: Even now people joke about the baseline absurdity of a universe in which Donald Duck can go toe-to-toe with Cloud, and while I think 17 years in we’re past the point where it’s time to accept that this is just a part of the landscape for these characters, yes, that does remain objectively bonkers. It’s not a natural, intuitive combination like your JLA/Avengers, this is Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe-level “well, I suppose they both exist in…the, uh, medium of visual storytelling” stuff, other than I suppose that they both tend towards fantasy in this case. And then that whole wacko premise got hijacked by Tetsuya Nomura for an extended epoch-spanning drama driven by labyrinthine, (occasionally literal) dream logic mythology where it’s genuinely impossible to tell at this point what’s being thrown in by the seat of the creators’ pants and what was planned out since day one, pretty much casting aside the franchises that were in theory the main appeal as relevant parts of the plot even as you still hang out with Baymax from Big Hero 6. Step back even a touch, and there will always be a whiff of derangement about the entire affair - it’s simply baked in at this point.
My controversial opinion however: it’s actually good. There are structural issues and awkward moments and aspects ill-served, I’d never deny that, but even diehard lifelong Kingdom Hearts fans tend towards prefacing appreciation with at least two or three levels of irony and self-critique. I suppose it’s in part a response to the general reaction to it I mentioned before, but no, I absolutely think these are genuinely good, ambitious stories build on a foundation that’s still holding strong. An important note in service of that point: Winnie the Pooh, maybe Hercules, and with III Toy Story aside, I have basically zero childhood nostalgia for any of the properties involved. Wasn’t a huge Disney kid outside maybe very very early childhood, and only dabbled with Final Fantasy after the fact (still intend to play through XV someday though). It won me over young, yes, but on its own.
The building blocks help: the characters designs are great, the individual Disney settings in their platonic representations of various locales and landscapes make perfect towns packed with quirky locals to roam through on your quest, the Final Fantasy elements are tried and tested for this sort of thing, the original worlds each have their own unique aesthetics and touchstones and come out lovely, by my estimation the gameplay’s fun adventure/slasher stuff even if it’s had ups and downs over the years, the actors largely bring it, it all looks pretty, and as noted, the score is as good as it gets. They’re games that look, sound, and play good made up of component parts that unify into a sensible whole. And for me, the scope and convolution of the plot that so many leap at as the easy target - with its memory manipulations and replicas and time travel and ancient prophecies and possessions and hearts grown from scratch and universes that live in computers and storybooks and dreams - is half the appeal; I live for that kind of nonsense. Not that folks aren’t justified as hell in taking jabs at it, but I’ll admit I often quietly raise an eyebrow when I see the kind of people I tend to follow having an unironic laugh at it given *gestures toward the last 40 years of superhero comics*.
All that through is ultimately window dressing. The most powerful appeal of Kingdom Hearts is I suppose hidden if you’re going by commercials and isolated GIFs and whatnot, and even the bulk of the content of the average Disney world, charming as they are. It’s deceptively easy to pick out something else as the fundamental appeal too; even if I’d call them incredibly well-executed examples of such the character archetypes it deals in are relatively broad, and while it handles the necessary shifts in its tone from fanciful Disney shenanigans to apocalyptic cosmic showdowns for the heart of all that is with incredible skill - and that might be its most unique aspect, and certainly a critical one - a lot of that comes down to raw technical ability on the part of the writers, appropriate dramatic buildup, and demarcation between environments and acts of the story.
The real heart of the matter, to speak to my typical audience, is that Kingdom Hearts in a profound way resembles 1960s Superman comics and stories inspired by the same: it’s 90% dopey lovely cornball folk tale stuff, until every now and again it spins around and sucker punches you in the goddamn soul with Extremely Real Human Shit. Except here instead of being lone panels and subtext, it builds and builds throughout each given adventure until it takes over and flips for the finale from fairytale to fantasy epic.
That can probably be credited directly to Final Fantasy creator Hironobu Sakaguchi suggesting to Tetsuya Nomura to try treating this weird gig seriously instead of as the licensed cash-in it seemed destined to be, since if this didn’t have a soul the target audience would recognize it. But in spite of that seriousness, it’s perhaps its most joyfully mocked aspect in its entirely unselfconscious dedication to making Hearts and Feelings and Light and/or Darkness the most important things in the universe that lets it do what it does. It’s childish in the most primal way, absolutely, but what that translates to is that there aren’t cosmic or personal stakes that swap places as major or subsidiary at any given point, because in this world they’re always literally the same thing. There’s no major relationship where the fate of a primal power or a last chance at salvation doesn’t ultimately hang in the balance depending on how it shakes out, and there’s no prophecy or ultimate weapon or grand scheme that doesn’t have direct, fundamental ramifications on the life of an innocent or the memories that define them or whether they’ll ever be able to find a place to call home. ‘Hearts’ is an all-encompassing theme, whether in strength of will or redemption or questions of personhood or the ties that bind us, and by making it a literal source of power, it lends personal dimension to the unfathomable universal and the grand weight of destiny to whether or not someone can come to terms with who they want to be or apologize to those they’ve wronged. It’s a world where emotional openness and personal growth ultimately works the same way and achieves the same results as doing calisthenics in five hundred times Earth’s gravity does in Dragon Ball. and it’s tender and exuberant and thoughtful enough where it counts to take advantage of that as a storytelling engine.
That’d be why Sora works so well as the main character, because he straddles the line most directly between those poles. He may stand out as a spiky anime boy when actually next to Aladdin and the rest, but when it comes down to it he’s a Disney character, just a really nice, cheeky, dopey kid who wants to hang out with his friends and go on an adventure and believes in people really really hard. As the stranger in a strange land he’s a tether to a wider, sometimes more somber and weighty world when he’s sticking his head into the movie plots, but when he’s in the midst of stacked-up conspiracies and mythic wars that make all seem lost, he’s the one whose concerns remain purely, firmly rooted in the lives of those connected to him. Other characters get to go out there into bleak questions of self-identity or forgiveness, but while he might wrestle with doubt and fear Sora’s the guy who holds the ship steady and reminds all these classic heroes and flawed-yet-resolute champions and doomed Chosen Ones what they’re fighting for by just being a really good dude.
Given superhero comics are my bread and butter it doesn’t come up much, but Kingdom Hearts is really about as foundational to the landscape of my imagination as Superman and company, and while 100% that’s in part because it came into my life early it didn’t take hold by chance. It manages its stakes and its drama in a way and on a scale unlike just about anything else I’ve ever seen (even prior to getting to the weird mythology stuff that’s so profoundly up my alley), and somehow the aesthetics and gameplay and dialogue and all the million and one details that needed to come together to facilitate that story joined together into something that’s become one of the most curious, beloved touchstones of its medium. It’s a small, lovely bastion of warmth and sincerity in a way that only feels more like a breath of fresh air with time, playing out over decades a bunch of kids’ journeys to try and find the people they love most and help them and go home together when everything in the universe seems to be against them. It’s special in ways that will for me always be unique and meaningful, and I’m glad it seems to have plenty more in it before it’s through.
And seriously THAT MUSIC.
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All right, this is probably the worst time for me to wax meta since all I want to do right now is Take A Nap, but I’m in a Granblue mood right now so here’s my spicy hot takes:
The main theme of the What Makes The Sky Blue storyline is purpose, from “finding purpose in a world where God (be it literally or metaphorically) is no longer there”, to “finding a new purpose when your past reason for meaning no longer works” to “sometimes it is necessary to go against your initial purpose, for your sake and for the sake of others” to “one’s own self and one’s purpose in the world coming into conflict”. The various cosmic entities involved in the event storyline are all struggling with the purpose they were given or lack thereof, and in many cases have difficulty coping with the fact that there is no one around to tell them what to do.
Sandalphon’s arc is the most obvious and explicit instance of this theme - Sandalphon is and was intensely insecure about his purpose in life, left to awkwardly sit around and do nothing while every other angel and primal received a job, and then having a breakdown when he learned that his job was to act as a replacement for Lucifer as Supreme Primarch if needed. Sandalphon assumes that this means his existing is pointless, he’s just a spare, what are the chances of him actually ever being needed? Lucifer’s the strongest! He’s the supreme primarch! He’s got everything under control, there’s seemingly nothing threatening him, Sandalphon would just be left twiddling his thumbs for all eternity at best. It’s no wonder he ends up throwing a hell of a tantrum, and why Lyria sympathizes with him and advocates for his redemption, seeing as she herself has no idea what her own purpose is and understands why such an apparent lack of purpose would be upsetting to him.
Then Lucifer gets killed. And then it turns out Sandalphon is very much needed after all.
Now, Sandalphon has to perform his original duty as next in line for the role of Supreme Primarch, but because Lucifer, the person who guided him and who he looked up to most, is no longer here, well... he’s having a tough time of it, nevermind the obvious fact that in spite of “being a replacement for Lucifer” being his intended purpose, he isn’t Lucifer and can never be Supreme Primarch in the exact same way Lucifer was. Which is why his arc takes the turn it does in WMTSB3, with your crew and the Archangels helping Sandalphon carve his own path and be Supreme Primarch in his own way, culminating in his 5-star uncap’s not being Lucifer’s white wings that he passed on to Sandalphon, but Sandalphon’s own wings as well as the wings of the four primarchs - the very rainbow-colored wings that he claimed for himself way back during his tantrum in WMTSB1, now given freely and with new meaning as a symbol of himself as himself. Sandalphon goes from being intensely insecure about his seemingly pointless existence, to forging his own reason for being.
However, Sandalphon’s not the only character this theme of purpose applies to - I mentioned Lyria earlier, but the various other angels all have their own arcs related to the theme. Lucifer himself was preparing to step down from his job as Supreme Primarch prior to his death, giving up on his purpose and reason for being in order to allow the world to carve its own path. Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, and Uriel as of WMTSB3 have also chosen to step down from their roles of governing the world and live as normal people among the skydwellers, letting nature run itself rather than each of them controlling and maintaining the elements - a choice that makes sense once you realize that, after the near-disaster of WMTSB1 and Lucifer’s death in WMTSB2, they probably realized that sticking with their assigned roles could be potentially destructive were something to ever happen to them. Sariel is shown to chafe under his role as an angel of execution, him being a more peaceful person who dislikes violence and would rather explore the world and raise an ant farm than kill, but rather than try and find a new purpose that he’s more suited for, he wants to force himself into the role he was initially assigned even if it comes at the cost of himself, and once he is told that it’s okay for him to not match up with his purpose, latches on to the very people who allowed that even though those same people (Belial and Lucilius) quite blatantly don’t have the best of intentions. Perhaps if Sariel survives to part 2 (which he probably will, since he’s got some yet-to-be-used sprites still), he’ll find a way to create a new purpose for himself without also hurting himself in the process.
Even Lucilius seems to be gearing up to have this be his motivation for trying to destroy the world, in a dark mirror of Sandalphon’s arc - I can’t say for sure who or what he is or why he’s doing what he does until part 2 of WMTSB3 drops, but based on the bits and hints so far, the story seems to be implying Lucilius is a clone of Lucio that Lucio made and put into the world for some currently unknown reason (with Lucifer being a clone Lucilius made of himself, and a clone of Lucio by extension). Lucilius’s goal is, as Cog rather eloquently put it, to flip God the bird - he wants to destroy all creation simply because God made it and for some reason he’s really got it in for God. Reading between the lines however reveals some possibilities for why he’s so spiteful towards his and the world’s creators in the first place - Lucilius seems to know he has a reason for being, but he doesn’t seem to know what that exact reason actually is. Assuming he’s a clone of Lucio, he seems to have inherited some information from his creator (such as how the divine tower Exists), but it’s not necessarily enough for him to perform whatever job Lucio intended him to do. Perhaps Lucilius has been having his own issues with an assigned purpose he is unable to fulfill, and rather than just do the best he can with what he was given or even create his own purpose, he lashes out and everyone and everything. He doubts his purpose, and he doubts that there is even a God, and I’m going to propose that the reason he is trying to destroy all creation is so that he can force a confrontation with whatever Divine Powers exist, if they even exist at all, in order to confirm whether or not there even is a meaning for himself and the world existing. Whatever that meaning or purpose is, however, Lucilius is most likely rebelling against it to a downright destructive extent, since if Lucio DID create him, I doubt he’d put him on the earth just so he could destroy it - though then, it’s fitting for Lucilius to do this, seeing as how he seems to be the Granblue equivalent of Voidwing Lucifer, the Lucifer who’s demonic and destructive in nature rather than a beacon of hope. If all of this is true, I feel like there’ll be some beautiful irony if Sandalphon is the one to defeat him, seeing as how Sandalphon’s tantrum in WMTSB1 is a repeat of Lucilius’s own in miniature, how Sandalphon’s situation was specifically caused either directly or indirectly by Lucilius, and most importantly, how Sandalphon was able to resolve his own conflict in a healthy way, while Lucilius seems determined to take everybody down with him.
Overall, I’m curious to see where the conclusion to WMTSB3 is going to take this theme, and how all these arcs are going to end. I’ll probably end up writing another absurdly long meta piece once it’s dropped and I’ve had time to chew on it, but we’ll see...
#granblue fantasy#i know i left belial out but i've seen others tackle his characterization already#and also i just don't like him#so let's talk about everyone else instead!#i give kudos to belial being a fantastically written villain in wmtsb3 though#actually a lot of the writing in wmtsb is just Good Content overall#i have no idea where i was going with all this but i hope y'all like character meta because guess what
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Ok, some more Graceling thoughts! Here we go
Kat acknowledges that her anger is related to King Randa, that’s good. Page 122-123, she says to Po “If I don’t do what [Randa] says, he’ll become angry. When he becomes angry, I’ll become angry. And then I’ll want to kill him.” So… this acknowledgment is good! At least she’s voiced that now, I think that that is a good thing. Actually hang on - Po corrects her, as a matter of fact. He says she’s afraid of her own anger; She stopped then and looked at him, because that seemed right to her. She was afraid of her own anger. Po goes on to tell her that “Randa isn’t even worth your anger,” and that “[m]uch of his power comes from you.” Then there’s this part:
She was afraid of her own anger: She repeated it in her mind. She was afraid of what she would do to the king—and with good reason. Look at Po, his jaw red and beginning to swell. She’s learned to control her skill, but she hadn’t learned to control her anger. And that meant she still didn’t control her Grace, (pg 123).
I just… I really like this scene, is all. I like this acknowledgement of her anger, her powers, her thoughts and feelings towards and about Randa. I think it’s good for her, and tbh it may be partly catharsis for me. Idk.
Following that, at the bottom of page 123 Kat mentions Po’s family - specifically, how she thought his aunt had a strange way of dealing with grief (she’s stopped eating, locked herself and her children in her rooms, only allowing a servant for meals which they may or may not eat…). I just think it’s really interesting how Po himself didn’t know about that (and I think Po himself is curious as well!!). (I wonder why this causes Po to think about telling her about his Grace?).
Re: Kat is aspec headcanon. This is nitpick-y and definitely projection, but at the beginning of chapter 13 here:
Raffin had told her she wasn’t perceptive. Po was perceptive. And talkative. Perhaps that was why they got along so well. She didn’t have to explain herself to Po, and he explained himself to her without her having to ask. She’s never known a person with whom she could communicate so freely—so unused was she to the phenomenon of friendship. (Pg. 126)
First off, SAME here about not being perceptive. I‘m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in another commentating thread, but when one of my close friends and I first met I didn’t know that they had a crush on me till like… idk, a few months of knowing each other, and I only knew because they told me themself, while everyone around us knew about it basically (friend is very affectionate towards their crushes). So like! Not very perceptive? Mood, same here. But also, the way I figure it - if it’s not something you’re looking for (if you’re not looking for romantic stuff), why would you see it (why would you notice when others have romantic stuff for you)? …You know? And just… idk, the last part about how she’s so unused to “the phenomenon of friendship,” I just… that makes me sad. It also makes me think she’s demiromantic? (Or like, it increases that thought/headcannon, seeing as I’ve mentioned it before…). Because like - to my understanding, demiromantic means that one develops a romantic attraction only after a deep bond is formed (although maybe even that is misleading…? Is what I’ve sort of heard… feel free to correct me of course). With Giddon, Kat was disgusted when she found out that he was in love with her (and also thinks he’s a fool for it, as if that’s a thing he could control, which to my understanding you can’t really help it when you develop a crush on somebody, but also I’m aroace so as far as I know who’s to say). With Po… well, we’re roughly a hundred and a quarter pages in, there’s obviously no mention of Love from either Kat herself or any whiff from Po (…that I’ve seen, at least, but I’m not very reliable), but at the very least I do think that this… deep bond is forming. (I feel like I remember the book ending with them not officially in a relationship, as in I think they tried it then stopped, but I guess we’ll see).
Oh, re: Kat is aspec headcannon. “Giddon’s hope [to marry Katsa] bewildered her. She couldn’t fathom his foolishness, to fall in love with her, and she still didn’t entirely believe it to be true” page 130. She literally thinks he’s a fool for falling in love with her and genuinely can’t understand it - she thinks it’s a joke.! I am now revising my headcanon to say she’s grayromantic; the label means a lot of things to a lot of people, but I sort of look at it like it’s the “gray area” between 0% attraction (aromantic) and 100% attraction (alloromantic). (It is other things, too, of course, but this is my simplified understanding/explanation for the term😋). I think she’s grayromantic because romantic attraction as a whole seems very foreign to her (see above quote) and she doesn’t understand it; when she finally feels that attraction with Po (I’m not there yet, but I remember it. A little) it’s rather strong (probably surprising? Ok I don’t really remember but that’s fINE-). …ok I lost my train of thought but I think this makes sense. Yeah? Ok
Re: Giddon’s in love with Kat.
“…at least I don’t have a holding that depends on me, as do you, Giddon. I don’t have a wife, as you do, Oll.”
Giddon’s face went dark. He opened his mouth to speak, but Katsa cut through his words. (Page 135)
Personally, I think he’s offended by this because he’s in love with her and wants to marry her. Like - she points out that she isn’t married like Oll is, but G is like her in that they both aren’t married, and he wants to marry her… so idk, I think he’s just slightly offended by this line. Since we’re on this page…
Katsa what the FUCK. (Reference to my earlier post, here, which says basically the same thing). Page 135, same as above -
“I’ll kill the king,” she said. “I’ll kill the king, unless you both agree not to support me. This is my rebellion and mine alone, and if you don’t agree, I sweat to you on my Grace I will murder the king.”
Katsa what the F U C K. Holy fucking shit!! I’ve been going buck wild since I’ve read this, Katsa what the ever helling shit!!!!! She didn’t know if she would do it. But she knew she seemed wild enough for them to believe she would. Kat holy shit!! That’s… kinda all I have to say on the matter! ‘Cause like wow, Kat!
G proposes to Kat - his first mistake is on page 139, when he says “You should let me protect you.” You fucker. You fool. That’s the literal worst thing you can say to someone as independent as she is, never mind the fact that she could stomp you like a leaf. Actually, she phrases what I mean better than I do: A man who thought himself her protector—her protector when she could outduel him if she used a toothpick to his sword (page 140). And then he asks her if she’d “refuse a suitable proposal?”, like! Sir! Do you know her at all!! Of course she’d turn down a “suitable proposal,” she doesn’t! Wanna get married! To anybody! Idk if she’s like, expressed this in court or to court at all or whatever, but like I’m pretty sure I remember her saying that she’s mentioned it to Randa before? (Or at least King can probably guess at that…?). And then!! And then!! Third mistake! : “…You’ll want babies. I’m certain of it.” She wants to hit him for this, and I do not blame her!! (Actually, the exact reaction is wayyy more funny: She hadn’t expected to have such an immediate opportunity to practice containing her temper. For he deserved thumping, to knock his certainty out of his head and onto the ground where it belonged, page 140). Granted, I’m amazed, impressed, and super proud of her for how she handles this situation - she breathes to calm herself down, remains level-headed while wanting to knock the certainty out of him, sticks with exactly what Raff suggested she stick with (the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” shtick). I’m really proud of her for that, I don’t think I could do that myself (I’d probably get overwhelmed and shut down tbh). Fourth mistake: he calls her a lady killer, the name that’s been used for her several times by other parties. Idk how she feels about the title, but it really bothers me that he used that for her here. He’s trying to hurt her, I think, in the same/similar way she’s currently hurting him, so he calls her what others call her, what others call her who are outside of her small group of friends and familiar people (…aside from King, I guess. Randa, who’s a trigger for her! So maybe G’s trying to anger/trigger her…? Anyways, moving away from the PTSD headcannon now…). Also, how shallow of him to assume that she’s more interested in Po because he’s a prince while G’s simply a lord (page 141) - how shallow to assume that she’s interested in him at all, in my opinion, because she isn’t (in that way, at this point, yet). As a side note, I kinda think it’s funny that G thinks that Po will leave if G tells him exactly what he thinks about him, because like - not that G knows this, but Po already knows!! It’s the… idk, the cosmic irony of it all. Is that the phrasing? I think it’s ironic… right? That’s the word? Because Po actually knows this already but G doesn’t think he does. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I misremembered Po’s Grace! (Well of course I did, I read this like 6 years ago…). It’s not mind reading exactly, it’s - “I sense people. [...] I sense people when they’re near me, thinking and feeling and moving around, their bodies, their physical energy. It is only—“ He swallowed. “It is only when they’re thinking about me that I can also sense their thoughts.” […] I can’t sit and listen in to whatever thoughts I want. I don’t know what you think of Raffin, or what Raffin thinks of Bann, or whether Oll enjoys his dinner. You can be behind the door running in circles and thinking about how much you hate Randa, and all I’ll know is that you’re running in circles—until your thoughts turn to me. Only then do I know what you’re feeling.” (Page 145). Tbh? This is super cool, like as a magic thing and I’m very excited about this concept. Also… I guess I still don’t like… I still don’t quite understand why she doesn’t like mind readers, specifically. I understand the fact that she’s upset about him lying to her about his Grace, about him “being a mind reader,” but… I don’t get it. Granted, I don’t usually understand [plot lines/subplots/tensions/whatever] where people get so twisted up over another person lying, so this is more of a me-thing than a book-thing. I’ve just never understood why people get so upset over lying, sometimes.
Ok this is really long. Guess I had a lot to say! I’ve been working on this for basically 2 hours now, give or take. Nice. Anyways, thanks for reading
#caps#cursing#bold#links#color font#long post#miro commentates#miro reads#graceling#material analysis#||#…i could practically write an essay on Kat being aspec at this point huh??#i mean. im guessing#huh
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We Liked You Better Fat: Confessions Of a Pariah
February 28th, 2012 at 9:54 PM
(I couldn’t find it anywhere. Patrick deleted it and it was posted to AP but they also deleted it. Luckily I had it somewhere. Ariel: 1 internet: 0)
There’s this really nice piece at underthegunreview.net by Jacob Tender that a friend forwarded me today. It’s about how important Fall Out Boy’s album “From Under the Cork Tree,” was to him. After reading it though, nostalgic and well-written as it was, I really found myself more depressed than anything. It’s a complicated feeling, one that I’ve been incapable of explaining to anyone and have them fully understand. In spite of this though, I suppose I will give it the old-I-didn’t-go-to-college-try:
Tender had one line that really hit home for me. I related to it in terms of my feelings towards other artists, but I also winced at the profound implications it touched on in my own professional life:
“I didn’t like those pretentious assholes who didn’t like anything after Take This To Your Grave. I now recognize that I’m one of those assholes, but I still fume when some of my favorite records are so easily discredited by ignorant semi-listeners.”
The reality is that for a certain number of people, all I’ve ever done, all I ever will do, and all I ever had the capacity to do worth a damn was a record I began recording when I was 18 years old. That I can live with. That’s fine and fair; I have those records in my collection that seem to stand out far above the rest of my favorite artists catalogues (and especially for artists in whom I only have a passing interest). I suppose there’s nothing wrong in thinking I’m at a point in my life where it seems I’ll never catch up: If anyone’s going to appreciate the work I’m making, it won’t be until long after I’m done doing it. Again, this is fine: I’m insanely lucky to even imagine anyone ever appreciating anything I ever do, let alone in real time. Countless artists far better than I have only achieved posthumous acclaim. If I am to be obscure and financially unsuccessful, there’s nothing disheartening in that. The thing that’s more disheartening is the constant stream of insults I’m enduring in my financially unsuccessful obscurity.
Fall Out Boy’s last album Folie A Deux was our most critically panned and audiences openly hated it (it was also our poorest selling major label album even if one adjusts for the changing music economy). Now, that’s not to say it didn’t have its fans, but at no other point in my professional career was I nearly booed off stages for playing new songs. Touring on Folie was like being the last act at the Vaudville show: We were rotten vegetable targets in Clandestine hoodies.
That experience really took the wind out of the band’s sails; It stopped being fun. I suppose I’m just not that thick skinned. So perhaps it was even more ill-advised when I went out and did something I’d always wanted to do; make my album and have it released by Island Records [my solo record Soul Punk]. I coincidentally happened to achieve another goal which was to lose the weight I’d been carrying around since a month-long drinking binge after a bad breakup. Those accomplishments were happy things. Living in the moments of achieving them were perhaps among the happiest in my life.
So when I went out into the world to show off the self I felt like I was happiest and most comfortable being, I suppose I knew there would be the “Haters” [I loathe the clumsy/insufficient word but it seems the most universal]; The elitists that would always prove impossible to please. I had always been prepared for “Haters,” because there’s never been a moment since I graduated high school where I haven’t been the guy in “That Emo band.” First said emo band was dismissed as third rate pop-punk played by hardcore kids…a pale imitation of Saves the Day. Then we were swept up in the emo backlash [I really didn’t know we were an emo band…that’s not what the word meant a decade ago]. To this day my favorite writer at cracked.com will occasionally take swipes at my band as one of the worst things to come out of the 2000’s. We were a (albeit funny) running joke on an episode of Children’s Hospital.
Those examples of “Haters,” were people who never liked me (or at least never liked my music) and, by all rights, never really should. Such is the way of things. Different strokes for different folks as it were. What I wasn’t prepared for was the fervor of the hate from people who were ostensibly my own supporters (or at least supporters of something I had been part of). The barrage of “We liked you better fat,” the threatening letters to my home, the kids that paid for tickets to my solo shows to tell me how much I sucked without Fall Out Boy, that wasn’t psomething I suppose I was or ever will be ready for. That’s dedication. That’s real palpable anger. Add into that the economic risk I had taken [In short: I blew my nest egg on that record and touring in support of it] the hate really crushed me. The standard response to any complaints I could possibly have about my position in life seems to be “You poor sad multi-millionaire. I feel so sorry for you.”
Quite right, I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as long as I stick to my budget, but money really isn’t everything and it never was. Perhaps those are the words of a privileged man who doesn’t really know what poverty really feels like. Again, that would be a fair rebuttal; I wasn’t raised rich, but lower middle class upbringing in early 90’s Midwest US of A is still a far way from the bread line. Still, there’s no amount of money in the world that makes one feel content with having no self respect. There’s no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.
This of course isn’t Tender’s fault. He never said anything negative and indeed only said great/supportive things. I guess I’m just angry because he illuminates why I’m a 27 has-been. I’m a touring artist and I feel I’ve become incapable of touring anymore with any act…whether I were to go out as a solo artist or do some Fall Out Boy “Reunion” [nope: Still never broke up] or start a new band…there will still be 10-20 percent of the audience there to tell me how shitty whatever it is I’m doing is and how much better the thing I used to do was. Not only that, but that 10-20 percent combined with whatever notoriety Fall Out Boy used to have prevents me from having the ability to start over from the bottom again. I can’t even go back to playing basement shows. As the saying goes: I couldn’t get booked at the opening of a letter.
It’s as though I’ve received some big cosmic sign that says I should disappear. So I’ve kind of disappeared. I know a lot of you have wondered where I’ve been. I’m sure others of you are disappointed to hear I’m still kicking around somewhere (kidding…sort of). But the truth is wherever and whoever I am, whoever I am whenever I release whatever release is my next, whoever said recording is recorded with: I will never be the kid from Take This To Your Grave again. And I’m deeply sorry that I can’t be, I truly am (no irony, no sarcasm). I hate waking up every morning knowing I’m disappointing so many people. I hate feeling like the awkward adult husk of a discarded once-cute child actor. I’m debating going back to school and learning a proper trade. It’s tempting to say I won’t ever play/tour/record again, but I think that’s probably just pent up poor-me emotional pessimism talking (I suppose can be excused of that though right? I am the guy from That Emo Band after all).
I’ve managed to cobble together some work…I’ve been moonlighting as a professional songwriter/producer for hire and I’ve even been doing a bit of acting here and there. I have no interest (and evidently that sentiment is reciprocated) in performing music publicly any time soon but as I’ve said I’m sure that will happen when it happens. I have been debating releasing the unfinished follow-up to Soul Punk. We’ll see what happens there. Still no word on Fall Out Boy…I know Joe’s working on his new record and Pete’s mixtape just came out so I don’t expect anything on that front in the near future. I, as always, would be super psyched to do the band again though. I’ve been watching a lot of Downton Abbey and I’ve finally caught up on the Office. Friends have been turning me on to all the records I’ve been too busy to listen to over the past couple years.
I do suggest reading Tender’s column if it sounds interesting to you; He’s a great writer and it’s a fun/relatable little story regardless of who the band is within it (film adaptations of Nick Hornby novels should be proof of that).
#we liked you better fat#confessions of a pariah#patrick stump#fall out boy#fob#soul punk#truant wave#hiatus
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What would u say are the best and worst book narrated by each character ?
I sat down to come up with my least favorite book by each narrator and had a pretty easy time of it — there’s an unfortunate dip in quality in the series around #39 - #43 that I can point to as definitely not my faves — and then ended up totally baffled by how to choose JUST ONE favorite book by each narrator, because such a task is almost impossible. In conclusion, I really love Animorphs, as you probably never would have guessed from reading this blog. So, with a little cheating, here goes:
Tobias
Least favorite: #43, The Test
The plot of this book pretty much requires that all of the characters, but most notably Rachel and Jake, act in ways that really don’t fit with their behavior for the rest of the series. My cynical hypothesis about What Was The Ghost Even Thinking rhymes with schmender schtereotyping, but even if I more kindly assume that everyone was just acting strange to jerk Taylor around, I can’t really enjoy this book.
Favorite: #49, The Diversion
Tobias’s point of view works so well for this book, because its plot draws attention to his status as a partial outsider not only for human society as a whole but also for his team. He’s literally trapped in a liminal space that here actually gives him a lot of perspective on his friends’ families — and the importance of sticking close to his own. (And by that I mean 93% Ax, 7% Loren.)
Other favorite: #23, The Pretender
Speaking of Tobias being sort of stuck between roles, this book is so good because it shows the strength of his position as both able to access and able to escape being human. He moves flexibly between a ton of different roles in this book — a leader to the hork-bajir, a supporter to Jake, a parent to himself, a son to Elfangor, a quasi-hawk, a quasi-human, a quasi-andalite — and does so with astounding grace and aplomb. Resting bitchface has never seemed like a cooler accidental superpower.
Another favorite: #33, The Illusion
This book is the brutal shadow-self to #23, instead shutting Tobias out of a whole bunch of different roles over the course of the plot. It does however contain one of the series’s best villains (Taylor is terrifyingly sympathetic) and some of its best moments of heartwarming body horror in the final battle.
Ax
Least favorite: #8, The Alien
Honestly, there’s nothing really wrong with this book, but there’s nothing amazingly right about it either. It has a few great moments (Jake’s naïve optimism at the kandron’s destruction giving way to fear for Tom, Ax having dinner with Cassie’s family, Tobias definitely not tattling on Ax) but overall the plot is just kind of inane and doesn’t do much to move the series forward.
Favorite: #38, The Arrival
Estrid et al. act as such a cool check-in for not only how much Ax has grown as a person through spending too much time around humans, but also how much the team as a whole has grown until they are actually more effective warriors than a group of battle-trained andalite assassins. Every time I reread this book I end up making noises of triumph and fist-pumping the air, no matter how public my location is at the time.
Favorite favorite: #46, The Deception
This plot hinges on the stark contrast between Ax’s terrible and unavoidable awareness about the horror of open war and the Animorphs’ lack of standard of comparison beyond “hey, remember D-Day?” MM3 and #28 both do important work to condemn humanity from the outside, but this book actually uses Ax’s perspective primarily for celebrating the whole human species from an outsider’s point of view.
Marco
Least favorite: #40, The Other
As I’ve mentioned here, at this book’s core is an interesting concept that very emphatically does not age well. On top of the cringe-inducing attempt at an After School Special treatment of the idea that (*gasp*) queer men with AIDS are human too, it also has a largely nonsensical plot that strains both credulity and logic.
Favorite: #25, The Extreme
It’s a brilliant use of Marco’s perspective to comment on the constraints and terrifying outer reaches of Jake’s leadership, one that also contains a highly enjoyable mix of humor and horror. Because Marco. I could reread this one a thousand times and still find new aspects of the narration to delight in.
Also favorite: #15, The Escape
This book makes amazing use of Marco’s unreliable narration and lack of self-insight to contrast his willingness to imagine himself confronting sharks with his willingness to run from them upon a real encounter, along with his determination to kill his mom and his inability to stop himself from saving her. Marco is at his most human in this book, and also his most lovable.
Also also favorite: #51, The Absolute
The governor of probably-California is one of my favorite minor characters in the series, and I absolutely love the dynamic between Marco-Tobias-Ax any time it occurs (this book, #46, #30, #49), meaning that this surprisingly fun aside acts as a much-needed breath of fresh air and comic relief in between the Animorphs losing the morphing cube (#50) and blowing up the Yeerk Pool (#52). Plus, Marco + tank = OTP.
Cassie
Least favorite: #39, The Hidden
I’ve said most of this before, but this book is just… nonsensical. And it’s not delightfully nonsensical like parts of #26 or #14, it’s mostly cringe-inducingly nonsensical.
Favorite: #29, The Sickness
Arguably this is the best Animorphs book, both IMHO and by fan consensus. It’s got a simple but devlishly difficult plot, a ton of great characterization moments for all six kids, a handful of brilliant devices and settings that meld beautifully to Cassie’s overall character arc, and a wide-reaching perspective on the importance of overcoming difference that is a huge part of what makes these books so good. It’s also funny, horrifying, edge-of-your-seat engaging, and tear-inducingly beautiful at the very end.
Also my favorite: #4, The Message
Whereas #29 is probably just hands-down the best book ever written, #4 holds a special place in my heart because it’s the first Animorphs book I ever read and the one that convinced me to go find the rest of the series. This one is sweet and mystical, bleak with the dawning realization that these poor defenseless cinnamon rolls are in this war alone but also hopeful with the realization that these precious cinnamon rolls are in this war together.
Jake
Least favorite: #47, The Resistance
Although I’m of the opinion that #41 is more poorly-plotted, this book manages to be both poorly plotted and glaringly racist. Its plot doesn’t make sense on several different levels, not the least that Visser Three knows how to find the hork-bajir valley in this book and then apparently forgets how to get there for the entire rest of the series. And don’t get me started on Jake’s reprehensible behavior from the moment he casually declares Tom “as good as dead,” through to him trying to boss Toby about what’s best for Toby herself, all the way on to him being a jerk to Rachel and Marco. Blah.
Favorite: #31, The Conspiracy
Unlike #47, this book actually makes really good use of Jake’s character flaws to drive the plot forward — he’s bad at being vulnerable, and that ends up being a huge problem for his team. It also leans hard on the irony of Jake being the only one with a “textbook” family (i.e. upper-middle class, heteronormative and monogamous, European-American, traditionally gendered, outwardly happy) and also being the only one under constant threat for his life any time he’s at home, thereby accomplishing one of the series’s better comments on the fact that children’s lives aren’t as simple as we’d like to think.
Favoriter: #53, The Answer
There are definitely flaws with RL implications in this book, but the plot is so freaking brilliant that I can still regard it as a Problematic Fave. The final battle is so well-engineered and the Moral Event Horizon is so terrifying as it swings by that I assign this book to myself for rereading any time I’m struggling to write action or battle. It’s a scary, awful book, but also a very fitting capstone to the series.
Favoritest: #26, The Attack
This setting is so cool. This plot is so cosmic and yet so personal. This use of the chee is so bitingly brilliant in its commentary on pacifism as a luxury not everyone can afford. This story has so many moments that are either heartbreaking callbacks (the opening scene with Tom’s memories from #6) or bloodcurdling foreshadowing (Jake and Rachel’s casually absolute trust that each will be willing and able to kill the other if necessary). This narration feels like a middle-aged and yet middle-school protagonist struggling to figure out who he wants to be — and defeating a cosmic power at its own game with the power of love. I could gush forever.
Rachel
Least favorite: #48, The Return
Again, there’s nothing truly wrong with this book; it’s just a silly and inconsequential aside into the main character’s maybe-dreams at a time when the plot outside her head is heating up to the boiling point. It makes this whole thing come off kind of like Bilbo sleeping through the Battle of Five Armies.
Favorite: #27, The Exposed
I’m not normally a big one for romance, but this book makes me ship Rachel and Tobias so hard that my tiny bitter walnut of a heart grows two sizes every time I read it. Rachel has such great self-awareness that she doesn’t like any situation she cannot control or at least do violent battle against, and yet she dives into the bottom of the ocean with both eyes open and her chin up because that’s what she has to do to protect the rest of her team. Crayak has no idea what he’s talking about when it comes to asking her to turn on her loved ones.
Additional favorite: #32, The Separation
As I’ve said, I didn’t really get this book until I realized that it’s not so much about Rachel herself as it is about how the rest of her team views her, and how she defies their simple categorizations, both well-meaning (Cassie) and not (Jake), through simply being herself. Rachel is both masculine and feminine, both tough and vulnerable, and she makes no apologies for any of it.
And another favorite: #37, The Weakness
This book has an important role for the rest of the series in that it shows how the Animorphs’ guerilla tactics can easily be taken too far, and also how Jake’s discernment of his teammates’ strengths and weaknesses keeps them all alive. Rachel makes a fair number of logical-seeming decisions in this book that prove short-sighted, and of course it all leads to her and Jake’s brutal Checkovian epiphany at the end.
Added additional also favorite: #22, The Solution
A brutal but powerful read, this book focuses on the ugliest parts of Rachel’s personality (her sadism toward David) but also the most powerful ones (her compassion for Saddler and protectiveness toward both Jake and Jordan). It also shows that her reckless taste for violence and her boundless desire to protect her families both biological and found are actually two sides of the same part of her personality.
Okay I have a lot of favorite Rachel books: #17, The Underground
It’s oat-freaking-meal. Only it’s not just oat-freaking-meal, and I’m not talking about the extra-tasty maple and ginger flavoring. It’s a biological weapon. It’s a way to harm the enemy, but only through harming prisoners of war. It’s a social dilemma the like of which we rarely see in children’s books. It’s a lesson in decision making under uncertainty. It’s a moral imperative, but no one is quite sure what that imperative is saying. It’s a deconstruction of the implied assumption that it’s possible to write adventure stories in which no one gets hurt. It’s awesome. It’s hilarious. It’s disturbing as fuck. Welcome to Animorphs.
#animorphs#narration#animorphs meta#asks#answers#anonymous#rachel berenson#jake berenson#tobias fangor#aximili-esgarrouth-isthill#be really nice if cassie and marco had last names wouldn't it#k.a. applegate is a god#the rest of us just worship her
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Tarot Tuesday's Character Analysis: V
**Tarot Character Analysis has a new format! All characters depicted in these analysis’ belong to their respective owners unless noted otherwise.
***B.W Clover is a character I created specifically for these special Tarot Tuesday posts!
B. Clover has taken it upon herself to share with us her notes and files on Kim Jihyun a.k.a V from that one game where you chat with pretty boys and become their hostage for the duration of each route. Yes, this is another Mystic Messenger character analysis. Thank you again @cheritzteam!
Also, forgive Clover, she is full of the "feels" and might have fallen for another character. Please stick around till the end of the analysis for a WIP sketch of Clover!
Here is my tarot card analysis on V:
Since last week I finished up Saeran's analysis, I felt it was only fair to do the same for V. It was thanks to this request that I started looking into writing these tarot character analysis posts.
Of course, when I wrote V's analysis it was while I was playing his route in Mystic Messenger. There are so many more points I have yet to touch on. I still feel his card is The Hanged Man, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
This time around in Saeran's route, it was painful to have to go through his story as well, watching him go back to his self-sabotaging behavior. Like I wrote in the first part of my analysis:
So, imo V is the embodiment of the Hanged Man Arcana.
First thing that made me make the connection was that the hanged man is the martyr card, sacrifices to be made. V is all about self-sacrifice. He’s always putting Rika, the RFA, MC, and so forth before himself. Sure, he truly felt his decisions would be the best for everyone involved, not including himself, again. He had the best intentions at heart. V is willing to give up everything. I won’t go into too much detail because I still have to finish his route anyway.
Also, another aspect of the hanged man card is the fact that in suspension there is a pause. V is reflecting during his entire route and what I feel is that during said reflections he will find the answers he seeks. The need for V to reevaluate his past actions and even now is very much relevant for the growth of his character.
The Hanged Man is also about letting go. V clearly needs to let go of the past, let go of the need to sacrifice himself for past actions that would only lead to his destruction. By opening up to all the secrets he has kept to himself for so long, V is surrendering, letting go of the control that has been dominating his life for so long. MC is there for him during his route and reminds him of how important all these aspects are.
Last but not least, in surrendering he is also finally accepting the world around him. He understands his existence is full of worth and validation. I feel so strongly about this omg I could go on and on. Sorry for rambling. D: But yes, the hanged man, in my opinion, is the perfect card to describe V.
The saddest of conclusions is that V doesn't value his life enough to ever put himself before anyone else. He truly feels his mission is to protect everyone, but again his way of going about it only becomes distorted in the long run. He tries to cover up lie after lie, desperately trying to make sure no one gets hurt, but unfortunately all the lies do catch up to him, hurting everyone involved.
There is something cathartic about the hanged man, maybe by hanging upside down, all the fears leave the body through the head, reaching a form of spiritual awakening of sorts. V is holding so much inside, whether he chose to or not and is slowly bringing himself to the point of breakdown. The irony lies in that the Hanged Man is about releasing emotions that have been locked for years, weighing down on the person, not letting them breathe.
V has made his choices and yes they might be questionable but he has always seen things differently compared to the others in Mystic Messenger. The Hanged Man flirts with the idea of thinking outside the box, showing the world a new perspective, that there are two sides to every story.
When in tune with the Universe, The Hanged Man shows those around them this tranquility and understanding. On the other hand, the shadow side of the card reveals a blind form of self-sacrifice. Instead of the self-sacrifice being a liberation of spirit, it is more of personal punishment, especially in V's case. It isn't a coincidence that the Hanged Man comes before the Death card in the tarot, especially in my line-up for analysis, in which I most likely see Rika as Death. In fact, we can go a little deeper remembering that in the tarot the Hanged Man is also considered the traitor and is suggested they are Judas. How ironic that... Rika is considered the "Savior". Could it be that V is Judas "the traitor"? (I emphasize the quotes because I am only considering this thought as Rika might see it through her own eyes.) Food for thought.
But like I mentioned before, V's happiness comes through finally accepting himself and loving himself enough to value his wants and needs, not just others. I love him so much, honestly. He needs all the warm hugs and time to realize his own self worth.
Thank you so much everyone for reading through this! I feel I have just opened up a can of worms and might have to make a future post, or just make an analysis for Rika, honestly. Please look forward to it!
I really do enjoy writing these for characters that I love so much. Thank you Cheritz for creating such an amazing game. I definitely look forward to analyzing more of your characters in the future.
BONUS: Please keep in mind, writing is my stronger suit but I wanted to sketch out what I feel Clover looks like. (I do want to work on my art style in the future though!) I will be posting the full sketches later on as well. 🍀
Smol little bean Clover feels rather passionately for V but feels he is an emotional masochist. But alas, she continues to research him and add more notes to his file. She does not have a crush at all. (Which seems to happen often oh goodness)
Credit for the psd mock file format: Thanks to Pixaroma!
Check the Tarot Tuesday tag for more content! Including more Mystic Messenger characters! Also, let me know if there is a character you’d like the Intuitive Analysis Team to, well, analyze!
PSA: I would like to make Tarot Character Analysis into a youtube series! Please do support me so I can make it happen! 💋🔮💖
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#mystic messenger#mysme#v#kim jihyun#v route#ray route#mysme spoilers#jihyun kim#v mm#tarot#tarot tuesday#even if a bit late sorry#tarot character analysis#oc#character reveal#me trying to art#B.W. Clover#empress weekly#honestly i had major feels for this one too#and i had a rika eureka#so i might be making one for her soon#i need to sleep omfg#empress draws#sometimes and it's embarrassing
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10 kpop songs released in January 2018. Plus EXO’s COUNTDOWN.
As a New Year’s resolution I decided I will be listing the 10 kpop songs released that are stand outs to me each month in no particular order. I hope I can stick with it until the end of the year!
1. iKON-LOVE SCENARIO. iKON came back last week and they got a hold of the number one spot in the korean charts. Their song Love Scenario is a softer sound than their previous comebacks more on the lines of My Type. The song is simple and relatable. Not my favorite of the album but I get why it has been so succesful. The album has several midtempo ballads that are a great listen, it also has more dynamic songs. Beautiful, Hug Me and One and Only were my favorite of the album. Love Bobby’s rap in Sinosijak.
2. Red velvet. Bad boy. For me Time to love was by far my favorite song of this repackage album. All right and Bad Boy feel a bit retro and I don’t know if they fit with the rest of The Perfect Velvet album. However I do like both too. Bad Boy is a classic r&b pop song that makes you think of the early 2000s r&b tracks.
3. Ravi ft Park Jimin-Nirvana. I have mixed feelings about this one I’ve always liked Ravi and he’s clearly the most musically gifted member in VIXX. I like the rapping in this song but I hate the voice altered parts. I usually don’t have a problem with autotune but the one in this track and generally in his 2nd Mixtape kind of bothers me. My favorite song of his album is Chamaleon.
4. Jay Park x Yultron-Forget about tomorrow. I like Jay Park when he raps but I really love him when he sings and dances. This song has a nice beat and is sung in english which of course can be an issue for some that I added this one to my kpop list but it’s Jay Park and definitely worth mentioning.
5. Jonghyun-Shinin’. The more I listen to this song, the more I enjoy it. This bright pop song definitely brings up your mood. The album is complex and just so good. Every song is a most listen. Grease is my favorite though.
6. BoA. Nega dola. This days I’ve been obsessed with BoA’s docu series in vlive along side Shinee’s Key whom has been a BoA stan for years. So I was really looking forward to listen to this song. It finally dropped yesterday. Sometimes the MV feels like she was trying too much to give a current look but the song and the choreo are really good.
7. Infinite-Tell me. This comeback was the first since Hoya’s departure so I really was wishing the best for Infinite. The MV wasn’t my thing but I loved the song. It is so them. As always Sunggyu’s and Woohyun’s parts are so good. Their album Top Seed has its highs and lows but it’s definitely worth checking out. I really liked reminisce (L solo). Can’t be helped since Myungsoo is my Infinite bias. Pray is also really good.
8. Block B-Don't leave. I loved Block B’s last comeback Shall we dance. So I was really excited they came back so soon but this song is a bit too simple for what I was expecting. I still liked it though. The highlight of this repackage album RE:Montague is actually My Zone that was already released when Montague came out.
9. Penomeco-L.I.E (produced by Zico). This song was released as part of SM STATION and just like Hunnit (2017) it’s a chill song with Fanxy Child’s distinct colors.
10.Jeong Sewoon- Baby it's you. Jeong Sewoon is one of the Produce 101 Season 2 contestants I keep my eye on because he has a nice voice. This song is so catchy and it’s part of his first mini album part 2. You can tell Starship is really investing in him because of the producers they chose for this album and I think it has paid off. It has some interesting songs like Toc, Toc! and Irony.
EXO: COUNTDOWN
The long awaited EXO japanese full album COUNTDOWN is out now. As expected they topped the Oricon chart. Most of the album’s songs were part of their previews japanese singles. Their early release track Electric Kiss is probably my favorite song of the album. Lovin’ You Mo’ is a close second (the OST of Kai’s drama Spring Has Come). Into My World is also a nice addition to the album. It has a techno influence that makes it a really fun listen. Cosmic Railway is a grand pop ballad, the vocals are what stands out.
#kpop#ikon#jay park#jonghyun#shinee#red velvet#ravi#boa#infinite#block b#jeong sewoon#exo#countdown#jpop#oricon#kai#d.o.#chen#chanyeol#bobby#baekhyun#xiumin#sehun#suho#vixx#key#penomeco#zico#produce 101#vlive
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Musings on the genre incongruity of the Winter Soldier and Steve/Bucky
There’s an element of the Steve/Bucky relationship that I find so fascinating that I can’t get it out of my head which is this: the moment the incongruity at the heart of the character’s arcs.
In essence, Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier are two completely different characters. I find him an unusual character for this reason, and I struggle to find one that is similar.
Bucky Barnes before the war is the sidekick, the charmer, and there’s endless fic characterizations of him but even across a wide expanse he’s a kid from Brooklyn drafted to fight WWII, who is close to Steve and protective of him.
Whereas the Winter Soldier is such a wildly different character like... look, if you’re setting out to make this brainwashed assassin character, it’s really different in my experience as a consumer of media to see that character stuck onto the tail end of a character like Bucky - hell, just his name makes it incongruous. That’s really the word at the center of it - incongruous. There’s this moment where the switch flips though and one character becomes the other (and, maybe, could at some point flip back again but changed).
Steve is similar but to a lesser extent. Pre-serum Steve Rogers is stubborn, a bit of an asshole, and dying to prove himself despite a body that’s doing its level best to kill him. Yet post-serum Steve is often compared to a golden retriever, you could say he blossoms but he also changes dramatically in personality. That bitterness goes away in large part, but not entirely, he becomes a hero and a symbol that is hard to square with his previous self. However that at least lies at the heart of the character, and we see the steps along the arc of his change, unlike with Bucky.
Where the ship of these two fascinates me is how they stick together. You’ve got these characters defined by their Before/After, and their Before/After’s are really, wildly different from the usual arc of a character. Sure that’s in part because of the long history of these characters in comics and the film’s attempted abridgment of that, but just taking the films there’s just a huge about-face when The Winter Soldier appears on the scene. The franchise tone changes and loses its camp, the emotional impact which was hinted at with Steve losing everyone he knew and loved while frozen in the ice is escalated. Now he’s even more literally haunted by what he has lost. Everyone who ever knew him is dead or has forgotten him, it’s a hellish scenario but buried in the tragedy of Bucky is this flicker of hope for reunion, and getting just a scrap back of what was lost.
But so much is lost. I try to think of my own New York-based, Irish and Italian Catholic grandfathers and grand-uncles and just imagining one of them becoming something like the Winter Soldier makes my head spin. I think that’s where I really get stuck, I’m fascinated, horrified, and struggle to grasp what could take a kid like Bucky would have been, probably expecting to come home after the war and live out his life in Brooklyn, into a mechanical nightmare working for the enemy across 70 tortured years. There’s a switch flip in there where “Band of Brothers” becomes a Cold War nightmare, and for me it’s just so strange to fathom characters of those two genres being put together into one person, or the arcs of those stories being stuck one after the other.
I won’t lie, I actually get choked at the thought of that happening to one of those kids, to one of my family members, going off to a war and never returning home. Worse, that a war you thought might be over in a year, a few at most, holds you in its jaws for seventy more, that at the end Bucky still has to fight off attempts to label him as an enemy combatant rather than a tortured prisoner of war.
How to reconcile that? No less with Steve, who goes into the war with a body that’s basically a weapon, that is arguably as detached as a suit of armor but one he can never take off. Is there a sense of dysphoria there? Does he simply become what he was meant to be given a body that could keep up with him, or is he placed inside of a weapon he can never remove? Does it mean this war, that temporary war, is always carried with him in some sense? That really, he can’t ever go home either?
Perhaps that’s the issue, that in most war movie narratives the story is about how they come home. Captain America and the Winter Soldier as narrative arcs though break that usual return to domesticity. For them the war quite literally never ends, and it is tormenting in its endlessness. It can be highly metaphorical and political as well, but again I come back to those kids who could have known my grand-uncles never coming back and getting lost in the tides of the 20th century’s wars.
Bucky as a dark mirror for everything that could have happened to Steve is one way to tackle this, one way to encapsulate it. It’s not the only interpretation but it at least allows some framing of such a dramatic shift in circumstance to one person. Endless War imprisoning the person in Steve’s life who arguably most wanted it to be over quickly. The irony is extreme. At least on some level there might have been a sense of cosmic justice had Steve been the one captured and transformed into an endless weapon, at least he wanted to fight. But as far as we see, that was never Bucky.
Again, such a character as the Winter Soldier is one you would expect to have a background of wanting to fight, and while canon isn’t entirely clear on this point it’s not a stretch when fanon says that Bucky probably wanted to go home more than Steve did. Steve found his purpose in the war, and yet he was the one who was kept from it for 70 years while Bucky was subjected to it again and again.
As is obvious here, I still struggle to figure out the core of this, the center that brings me back to these two characters and the pairing between them again and again. It’s somewhere in there at the center, the grain of sand that irritates into a pearl. How did these two become this, can they ever go back, how did it change them, when did the transformation really take place? Can you somehow arrest it in the middle, take a snapshot and say “This is the halfway point between who they were and who they are, captured in amber”?
Where is the kid from Brooklyn in the modern soldier’s body? Where is the seed of the Winter Soldier and Captain America in those kids? Why them, out of all the hundreds of thousands that served? Is fate endlessly cruel or is there some kindness in that Steve didn’t die and was there at the end? Or is the cruelty in the fact he was not there in the middle, while Bucky was being transformed? 70 years of changing and no one left to even try to look, to stop it from happening.
I am fascinated by narratives that say “bad things happened then, and did not stop for decades, and no one was able to stop it in between” fascinated and often infuriated. And even if canon will never address this to the extent I would like I keep coming back to it in fanon, looking for that seed that makes such unusual characters span such a length of time that they become such tragically different people in ways that don’t feel predestined only horrifying. I tried to capture it once myself, but still feel as if I’m skirting the edges, never quite able to say with words how one becomes the other.
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