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angelthefirst1 · 3 years

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Beth repeats everywhere.

Okay so I'm back and excited about the upcoming episodes and while bummed we didn't see Beth in 1016. I am super excited about where this is heading...

Even the title names are in your face Bethyl at this point, I mean... Home sweet home?

If the spoilers are accurate-it's actually a good thing...

*Ducks for cover (please don't throw things at me) 🥴🤕

So after a long but very needed break (The world falling apart kinda made analyzing TWD seem very unimportant) I have decided to climb out of my cave to weigh in on the current spoilers that have everyone acting like they just sat on a cactus. 🌵

If correct, these spoilers confirm to me that Beth is just about to be reintroduced and also confirm what i have been saying about how the story is told in TWD for years.

Season 9 and 10 especially has been repeating, major Beth season 4 and 5 plot. And, there is a reason it's getting more and more blatant. It's coming to a head...

We've seen Beth's story on repeat using other characters to remind us of the past, and show us the future to a degree too.

It's called predicative programming, showing a shadow of what's coming before it actually does.

So this Leah...even if she is "real" (more on this a little later) IS BETH showing aspects of the past to subconsciously remind us of past Beth, and aspects of what's to come for future Beth.

On the topic of what's real and what's not, there is a very good case to be made, that this is all in Mr Dixon's (And ultimately Rick's) head.

A bit further on I will go through some of the blatant repeats in the story to remind you just how 'in your face' the repeats from season 4/5 have become in season 9,10.

But first I want to talk through what I think is most likely happening with these potential spoilers.

I see a few possibilities out of this, but none of them are actually bad.

Scenario 1. Leah is real and her and Daryl have a relationship in that cabin.

Why isn't this bad?

This maybe a difficult concept for some to grasp as they see all the characters separately, but...the writers make the characters all one, by moving them in and out of repeating rolls.

So as I stated above, Leah is a Beth fill in and the reason we most likely won't actually see a full Leah and Daryl love scene on screen, is because it's shadowing the real love scene to come which will be with the main fulfillment, Beth.

Leah is the shadow reminding us of Alone and Still, but Daryl's memory, desire and hope are all about Beth, not Leah.

I mean come on... A Cabin? A Dog? Them not getting along to start but then hints of romance? They eat together? She leaves and is never mentioned until years later? and a note? In your face Bethyl.

And this leads into scenario number two...

I've often wondered if all these characters actually originate out of the 'real' Rick's mind (yes i know the comics don't end that way, but that doesn't mean the TV show isn't going down that road potentially)

While unconscious in his hospital bed, the character of Rick comes alive in his mind.

Some might not like this concept, but It does make sense of the constant repeats in story. Which can be likened to a dream state and inception.

If we have been in the character Rick's mind all this time, then once Rick's character "left" in the helicopter season 9, it became "Daryl's" mind we entered (He became the last man standing) and that's when the story shifted and became extremely Beth heavy.

We possibly entered into Daryl's subconscious instead of Rick's and instantly started getting HUGE Beth symbolism.

Why would Daryl's mind/subconscious be showing him in an almost identical setting to what we saw him and Beth in season 4, in Still and Alone but with someone else instead?

Because it seems he has suppressed her memory as much as possible to cope (Leah not being mentioned all this time is another clue that this is actually about Beth), but it's building and building to a climax, which should soon end in the truth exploding from his subconscious and finally revealing that Daryl loved and desires Beth.

Rick's story started and ended with "finding his family"-that was his repeating story.

And until he left and handed the reins over to "Daryl's mind" we were never going to access Daryl's subconscious enough for the truth about Beth to be revealed.

As soon as it becomes Daryl's characters mind in control, we immediately start seeing major Beth repeats beginning.

I'm going back over some major repeats from 9/10 to show you how obvious the repeating story has become.

This became long and it's only the really obvious stuff that I'll cover, there is way more that could be included, and it will become extremely obvious by the time we reach the end, that this IS Beth’s story, just remixed.

Further down i will also explain scenario number 3.

Repeats: Starting with season 9

As soon as Rick's helicopter files away over a barn (which is very similar to the barn Daryl weeps over Beth next to)

We see Magna who has been a major Beth fill-in with her blond hair and prison tattoo, and in a relationship with a dark haired archer.

We then meet grown up Judith with her braid and sheriffs hat.

We first see Daryl in season 9, as he comes across Carol and Henry in the woods

And he suddenly has a dog.

The camp site is a repeat of Beth and Daryl's "Suck-ass camp" from Still.

But having Dog there shows Daryl's desire to have Beth there. He desperately wanted to get her that dog in Alone.

Daryl kills a snake in suck-ass camp number 2 (it’s black and hanging around his neck)

Just like in Still...

Carol asks Daryl to take Henry to Hilltop because he wants to learn blacksmithing.

Daryl says he doesn't want to babysit. Repeating the sarcastic line Beth says to Daryl about being her chaperone.

Beth going to get something she wants (get alcohol)

Is Henry going to learn at the Hilltop blacksmith. In both cases Daryl does go with them even tho he initially protests.

Before they leave Henry hurts his ankle in a trap and Daryl provides an ointment to help it heal, a repeat of Beth's ankle in Alone and Daryl bandaging it for her.

Soon after we see Jesus get killed in a dark misty graveyard, Daryl's the one to immediately kill Jesus's murder. This was a combination of the Alone graveyard and Beth/Dawn at Grady.

We then see Henry get drunk on moonshine at Hilltop, and when Gage says they should have some more fun, his idea of fun is showing disrespect to the dead walker they trap in a pit. Henry kills it- just like Beth killing the walker in Still that Daryl was "having fun with".

Because of the moonshine Henry gets stuck in the cell block with Lydia (think Daryl saying "home sweet home") and in Still and Beth says "if we are going to be trapped (prisoners) again, might as well make the best of it".

We find out Lydia was abused like Daryl, and Henry keeps saying Lydia is a good person. Just like Beth and Daryl.

Henry and Lydia are young Beth and Daryl, who bond during this time in the cell block, they get separated due to the prisoner exchange with Alden and Luke.

The introduction of Alpha (An evil twisted Beth) who looks like she is dead. Same with Beta being Daryl with his double knives and who would follow Alpha anywhere. Their roles are reserved in that he is the musical one with a singing career and has released albums (sounds familiar to Emily right?).

Alpha is referred to as Mother by Lydia, and the whisperers refer to themselves as a pack (symbolic of wolf's) which is fulfillment of the song at the end of Still about 'Mother being absent' and a 'party when the Wolf comes home'.

We see the prisoner exchange (Luke and Alden for Lydia) from a nomad group and a fixed community. A repeat of Grady

We then see a Henry, Lydia rescue mission from Connie and Daryl in a building with a elevator shaft that Daryl pushes Beta into (Grady) repeating Beth pushing the officer down the elevator.

As Daryl and Beta fight, Daryl stabs him where Beth stabs Dawn.

Beta keeps yelling at Daryl "Where is she?" Daryl then stabs Beta in the same spot as Beth stabs Dawn. Repeating Daryl's desperate search for Beth from season 5 and how it ends.

Just before Beta gets pushed into the elevator he says "All I want is the girl", referring to Lydia but it shows Daryl's subconscious desire when going to Grady was just wanting the girl too (Beth).

The song at the beginning of 914 when pregnant Michonne is looking for Rick, is about dream catchers and dreaming. Which could be a hint at this being a dream state.

The episode also repeats the theme from the Grove, messed up children (Lizzy) willing and even happy about killing (Mica). The episode focuses on children killing dear just like The Grove and Josalin teaches them they must be strong, not weak just like Carol taught the kids in season 4. The timeline in this episode includes Henry getting his leg patched up at Alexandria with Lydia (another repeat of Beth's ankle injury) which would have happened around the same time as the events in the Grove.

We see Miles and Hilda running from walkers through the woods, him wearing plaid and her a cardigan just like Beth and Daryl in Still/Alone

They just happen to come across somewhere safe (Hilltop) but that eventually leads to her being scalped and Miles gets his face turned into a whisperer mask so he effectively ends up "walking around like a dead man" which is a reminder of what Len says to Daryl in season 4 referring to Daryl being miserable due to losing Beth.

Connie and Kelly fight about Connie not saying goodbye when she leaves with Daryl to rescue Henry. A reminder of Beth and Daryl's conversation about not saying goodbye at the prison.

When next we see Beta and Daryl realises he survived being pushed into the elevator shaft.

Beta says to Daryl "You just had to give me the girl, no one else had to die, now that deal is done".

Same theme and mentality of Daryl when planning to rescue Beth from Grady.

He wanted everyone to go home and no one to die so he rejected Rick's plan of quietly slitting everyone's throats and hoped for a peaceful trade . But once Beth was lost to him, that deal was done and he instantly opens fire on Dawn.

The whisperers then kill Henry and the other's by quietly sneaking into Kingdom, taking them, and eventually slitting their throats and cutting their heads off.

All because they couldn't get Lydia back. The tactics were reversed. And in both situations the main Dr was not killed (Edwards and Siddiq)

Henry is killed and Lydia is miserable enough to almost commit suicide while the group is traveling through a snow storm from Kingdom to Alexandria. This is a repeat and reverse of the group traveling from Alexander in a heat wave and drought while Daryl was miserable.

Season 10

We see Siddiq keep having flashbacks about those that were killed at the fair.

Negan in prison at Alexandria is a repeat of Beth as a prisoner in Grady.

In 10.02 (1010) we get Alpha and Beta's back story from 7 years earlier. They are both in a addiction treatment Facility with hallways reminiscent of Grady, Beta has written on the walls 'Why am I STILL ALONE'. hint much?

Alpha tells Beta that she doesn't die easily. A repeat of Beth telling Daryl that even tho he looks at her like just another dead girl, she isn't.

Alpha starts singing/humming when she hears Beta humming and he tells her to stop singing and never do it again. Repeating Daryl yelling at/mocking Beth about her singing in Still, and a reverse of Alone when he tells her to keep on singing.

Beta asks for Alpha's name and she responds with "The dead don't have names". Reinforcing the theme from Still of Beth telling Daryl that she knows he sees her as just another dead girl, and that's why he's afraid to get too close to her.

We see the introduction of the whisperer sisters (twisted versions of Maggie and Beth from season 4/5) one of which-a blond, has just lost a baby (Beth and Judith) and she eventually dies.

Beta and Alpha talk about what the dead feel, Alpha says "nothing" repeating Beth yelling at Daryl "Do you feel anything?"

Later we find out Beta's brother was being treated in that facility for addiction, repeating Daryl telling Beth about Merle and how he was always high. Alpha is the one to kill Beta's brother, repeating Beth telling Daryl "You got away from it" meaning Merle and his influence, and Beth's insistence on him staying who he is, kept him from becoming his brother.

The very next scene is current time and shows Beta telling Alpha (Just after the satellite hits) that he saw smoke at the boarder. Insinuating the fire from the satellite also represents the fire from the cabin in Still which was also right after Beth and Daryl's talk about Merle and how he got away from him.

Alpha and Beta then interlock fingers just like Beth and Daryl in Alone.

The Whisperer sisters also have a conversation about how Alpha killed Lydia (which she lied about) and Alpha told them that she didn't shed one tear when Lydia died. One of the whisperer sisters says "She is Alpha, she doesn't cry." repeating Beth's "I don't cry anymore Daryl".

Beta finds out Alpha lied about Lydia being dead and yells at her "she is never coming back, she is GONE! Alpha." Repeating Daryl and Rick's conversation about Beth being just gone.

The beginning of 1003 shows Alexandria get wave after wave of walkers because of the fire from the Satellite (Sill cabin) which is a repeat of the walkers being drawn to the cabin while Beth and Daryl are still watching it burn. 413 opens with Maggie, Sasha and Bob fighting waves of walkers in the fog, and the Grove episode which happened on the same timeline showed burned walkers coming to the cabin Carol, Ty and the girls were in.

It's repeating that era.

The fighters at Alexandria are exhausted and Gabriel tells Aaron he has to use Negan to fight because they are low on fighters, he says pointing to Negan then Aaron "Peanut butter meet jelly" repeating the peanut butter Beth eats in Alone and Jelly Daryl eats.

Carol, Daryl and Michonne stay the night at Barnett academy home of the foxhound. Repeating the dog theme from Alone.

The description of the episode says "The group stays at the academy but Carol falls into a trap." Once again Repeating the Alone/foot trap/dog/Grady/trap theme.

Carol calls for Daryl to help her once she steps in the trap.

This trap causes Carol to fall and hurt her arm badly repeating Beth's arm injury from season 5 when she wakes up with her arm in a cast.

Rosita and Eugene have an argument about how he loves her, and he says that he wished she would would re-zone him into love town, and hoped she'd changed her mind. (Changed your mind? Love? Yeah not spelling this one out for you)

This same episode Carol "wakes up" smiling but actually dreaming of domestic bliss with Daryl preparing her food, they have run out of jam/jelly. Probably because Daryl ate it all lol (once again Alone on repeat)

1006 Carol and Daryl go looking for Negan (the missing prisoner) a repeat of consumed 506 with Daryl and Carol searching for Beth.

At the same time we see a focus on the doctors/medical ward of Alexandria due to the contaminated water making everyone sick. A reminder of Grady.

We also have Eugene on the radio broadcasting to try and reach a new community, which eventually leads to him and the others in 1016 ending up at the end of the train tracks with train cars and the meeting of a new group.

Which is repeating terminus, who were broadcasting on the radio too.

He is on a mission to meet the new potential love of his life (Stephanie) at the same time Daryl and Carol are out on their search for the missing prisoner.

We see the whisperer doctor (Dante) plant himself into Alexandria and he eventually kills the second doctor (Siddiq) repeating but twisting the Grady story of Dr Edwards using Beth to kill the new doctor that comes into Grady.

Before he kills Siddiq however, Dante uses poison and kill another whisperer who gets put in the jail cell at Alexandria, he then blames the mistaken medication that killed the whisperer on Siddiq. Repeating Dr Edwards poisoning the new Dr that came into Grady while blaming Beth.

Lydia runs away from Alexandria during the time Dante kills Siddiq.

While Lydia (the girl) is missing and no one knows where she is, father Gabriel oversees Siddiqs funeral. Repeating Ty's funeral from season 5 while no one knew what became of Beth. The funeral scene emphasizes the sprinkling of dirt into the grave just like we saw with Ty.

Next we see a father Gabriel watching a video log of Dante when he first arrived at Alexandria

repeating the groups from seasons 4/5 arriving at Alexandria and doing video logs with Diana.

Aaron and Gracie are seen taking about vehicle registration plates and the different states, repeating Aaron and Eric's obsession with collecting them all in season 4/5

While searching for Alpha, Carol almost steps in an animal trap and Daryl saves her. Another repeat of Beth's animal trap.

Soon after the animal trap, Carol then runs after Alpha leading the group into a trap in the cave, repeating her running into the trap at Grady and being hit by the car and the leading of the group to Grady.

While in the cave we see a bird cage, like we see in Beth's cell back at the prison, the bird cage representing her at Grady.

Carol is rash wanting revenge and stupidly drops the explosive causing the group to think Connie and Magna are dead. Beth at Grady rashly stabs Dawn, causing the group to think she is dead.

We next see a depiction of resurrection when Beta comes out the grave while sneaking into Alexandria.

Daryl and Alpha fight, Alpha after fighting with Daryl wakes up from passing out, she is reborn stronger.

Eugene takes to Rosita about the probability of never seeing Father Gabriel and the others from Alexandria again because Alpha's horde is coming to Hilltop. Rosita tells Eugene to stop, repeating Beth and Daryl's argument in Still about never seeing Maggie again and Beth yelling at him to stop.

Eugene and Rosita then share some alcohol (moonshine) depicting Beth and Daryl doing the same.

Rosita tells Eugene he has no romantic game which we all know applies to Daryl too.

Before the fight/fire at Hilltop, Daryl tells Judith that he is afraid a little bit. With Beth he wouldn't admit he was afraid of losing people, he cared about.

We then see Hilltop get drenched in a clear flammable liquid (tree sap) and set on fire (The Hilltop fire represents the cabin Daryl and Beth Burn)

The episode with Virgil and Michonne is fascinating and aspects in it, could well be repeated with Daryl and Leah. This episode could be a foreshadow of: Scenario number 3. It's in part a hallucination.

In the Virgil/Michonne episode we see Michonne get drugged and she sees what the past would have been like if she'd chosen a different road. She describes what she saw in her hallucinations to Virgil, as losing her family and that it was Hell to see.

Virgil has taken the drugged tea before and he describes it as heaven because it reunited him with his family and he hoped it would do that for her. After coming out of the hallucination, Michonne spares Virgil's life and that act, ends up leading her to Rick's boots

And the phone with the picture of her and Judith on it.

The end of the episode ends in Michonne going to "Find him."

So the theme at play is: a Hallucination, then having mercy could lead to clue of a lost loved one finding the other. Interesting...

The note Daryl apparently leaves Leah says "Find me".

If Daryl is in some kind of drugged state during this episode, it could combine his immediate situation (Leah actually being there) and his memory and desire of Beth in a similar setting (Alone). If this scenario plays out Leah could take something of Daryl's and the follow on effect may well lead Beth to a clue about Daryl, leading to her finding him.

Just putting this idea out there as the hallucination theme is reinforced in season 10 with Siddiq and in the very next episode when Carol hallucinates Alpha, just after Alpha has been killed. Princess also mentions not being sure if she is hallucinating or not when she meets Eugene, Ezekiel and Yumiko, and wonders if they are real. And Beta hallucinates the walkers all looking to him and saying "this is the end of the world".

So the Leah events maybe half true, half hallucination and this might be what leads to a clue and eventual reunion just as we assume Michonne's clues will eventually lead to a reunion with Rick.

After this episode the repeats in Bethyl themes get even more obvious.

Beta takes Alpha's head and goes off on his own to listen to music (Emily's song, a love song with lyrics about going to Hell to find your missing girl) Beta makes a mask of half her face. She's with him even when she's gone.

The last words Beta says to Alpha are "Thank you, I see now, thank you". Repeating the thank you note and how she taught Daryl to believe there are still good people.

Eugene's group going into the city and then on to meet the new group at the train yard, is a mix of the group traveling to Atlanta to get Beth and also traveling to Terminus. Both times at the train tracks with train cars and the group ends up surrounded and with weapons pointed at them.

The hospital location in 1015 and 16 or "Tower" as they call it, and what happens especially with Judith and Daryl, is in my opinion the biggest clue we are close to her return.

The hospital is in your face Grady and it's meant to remind you of that time.

In the hospital we see Lydia patting cats

A reminder of the claimers and Joe the claimer leader asking Daryl if he was a cat person, just after losing Beth at the funeral home, but before Grady.

Lydia has just lost Henry, repeating that time. Also if you recall in season 4 just before the Daryl meets the Claimers, Michonne and Rick were separated he was injured and she eventually finds a clue to him and Carl. Michonne is currently looking for Rick again due to the clues she finds with Virgil.

Luke is working on fixing up a speaker system to play music. Music/Beth inside the hospital.

Outside the hospital, in the woods Judith finds Daryl and tells him she doesn't like it inside it smells like cat pee (another reminder of the claimers era) she then tells Daryl she wants to learn what he does.

Just like Beth learning to track, we even get Judith tracking and identifying what she tracks as a walker while Daryl looks on proudly.

The group's whole plan for 1016 is to safely get "The music" speaker system out of the tower/hospital, to lead the huge horde of walkers surrounds them away.

Exactly what we didn't get to see in the aftermath of Grady. Getting Beth (music) out of the hospital.

Carol putting the knife up her sleeve is repeating Beth putting the scissors in her cast.

Carol ends up getting her revenge without getting killed (Unlike Beth with Dawn) but ultimately it's Negan and Daryl that do the revenge killing for Carol and Beth. Carol says to Negan regarding killing Alpha" What took you so long", where as Daryl's reaction was instantaneous, in a split second and he had put a bullet in Dawn's head.

We also see Negan go down the elevator shaft with a rope, just like Beth did.

The music they play to get the walkers away from the hospital is "Burning down the house", another repeat of the Still cabin.

When Negan comes across Beta, Beta runs at him immediately to kill him. Pushing him down he pulls out his knife and is about to kill Negan as he say "For Alpha". Beta Repeating Daryl's instant revenge on Dawn.

The title of 1016 is A Certain Doom, which is actually what Coda should have been called, considering this episode actually went to plan (mostly) for our group. Hardly anyone dies, only Beatrice from Oceanside and they get rid of Beta and Alpha's horde.

Beta dies as Daryl kills him before he can kill Negan. As Beta dies we see Alpha flashbacks of her telling him, he is not broken, that they love nothing, fear nothing, feel nothing and it makes them free. This is the exact opposite of what Beth taught Daryl. She called him out on being afraid of feeling and loving/caring about others.

Season 9 and 10 culminates with Lydia (Daryl) saving Carol (Beth) from certain death, by not letting her go over the cliff with all the walkers.

And standing on the edge of the cliff watching the horde fall down-along with Alpha's mask, Lydia and Carol interlink hands, just like Daryl and Beth in front of the grave. The Grave Beth and Daryl stand in front of says Father, while Lydia and Carol are looking at the end of Mother (Alpha)

Hopefully soon we get to see the original version of all this, and not just a repeated shadow of Daryl unknowingly doing something that helped Beth survive in the aftermath of Grady.

The upcoming episodes have me itching to see, I'm already seeing more repeats from Alone, Coda and 510 to name a few.

Beth is absolutely spilling out of the story right now through all these parallels, I haven't even covered them all here but just the main standouts of season 9 and 10.

So no matter what happens with this Leah character, Beth is still coming back and it's going to be massive

#team delusional #team defiance #team beth lives #bethyl #beth greene

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rileyrooin · 5 years

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R&L Live: Detroit

This jumps around and I discussed the show a bit more than in other recaps because there are moments from it that I want to remember. I recognize that I am incredibly fortunate to be able to attend shows and afford VIP tickets. If you aren't interested in reading, or if you want to send me nasty messages about this, I encourage you to just scroll on by instead. As always, please do not repost my pictures without permission.

I attended this show with Mr. Rooin, and two of my friends, R (my BFF) and B. R and B (heh) are both GMM fans. It would be the first time either of them has seen the guys live.

The Show

Britton opened the show. The crowd in Detroit loved him and he really fed off its energy. During the merch song, he started giggling mid-song because we were all laughing about the lyrics; his giggles made the crowd laugh more and he had to stop playing for a minute to compose himself. It was very cute. I cannot wait for him to put out an album. There are several of his songs that have been stuck in my head since the show.

After a brief intermission, Rhett and Link came out on stage. I expected to have a good view since our seats were in the front row, but I guess I didn’t really think about just how close they would both be to me (but especially Rhett). But, suddenly, there he was right in front of me.

As they settled in to begin the show, Rhett scanned the crowd, taking it all in. His eyes briefly met mine when he did so, but he continued to scan and then, unexpectedly, his attention came back to my face. My poor heart just about leaped out of my chest when he shot a small smile at me. I thought I must be imagining it, but once he broke eye contact, R elbowed me and whispered, “Did Rhett just recognize you?” I shrugged and tried to concentrate on their opening banter about the meaning of the name Detroit.

I'm going to share some highlights because no one needs a play-by-play of every moment of the concert:

Tokyo came early that night. Of course, even after Rhett told the crowd that he would do it one time only, there were people who thought they would be cute and continue to shout it and other garbled nonsense (including someone pretending to be CCR). This led to sassy, sarcastic Link making fun of people shouting stuff. Rhett got a bit grumpy at one point and gave the crowd a stern dad expression. I didn't capture either of these moments on camera, but they were hilariously in character.

The setlist was basically the same as the Columbus show, but with fewer songs. We didn't get “Water Dispensing Tab” or any of the other songs they've been subbing in for it in other shows. I feel like something else was removed, but I'm not sure what. I love all of their new songs. I wish they'd release them so people who can't attend the shows could hear them, as well.

At the venue, on either side of the stage, stand two huge knights set into niches in the wall. One of the running themes of that night's banter was Rhett wanting the knights to come to life. He had an elaborate ritual he wanted the room to perform to bring the knights to life that included hissing like a cat, other strange noises, and some voguing. When that didn't work, they moved on, but came back to the topic several times throughout the show. My favorite one was before “Middle School Girlfriend.” Rhett suggested that perhaps if Link played all three of his recorders at once, the knights would come to life. Much like the escaping a simulation handholding from Ear Biscuits, Link was game to give it a try. So, Rhett offered to hold his third recorder for him. The moment was funny, but I was focused on the extreme softness in Rhett’s eyes as he helped Link. The photos don’t begin to do it justice.

After the recorders failed to bring the knights to life, Link tried to steer the conversation back to “Middle School Girlfriend” banter by saying, “This is not unlike what my first kiss looked like.” Rhett was seemingly disinterested in returning to his stool/mic, so he leaned forward to speak into Link’s. Link pushed him away and said, “Get… Get your face outta my mic!”

Throughout the entire show, I kept having to tell myself to stop staring at him. My attempts at having some level of chill were continuously destroyed by Mr. I'm Going to Make Eye Contact Unexpectedly throughout the concert. It sounds foolish, but even though I was in a venue with so many other people, there were moments where watching him play the piano and guitar from that close felt incredibly intimate. But, maybe that's just my crush talking.

The rap section of the show was highly entertaining yet again. Their enthusiasm and excitement during it is so much fun to watch.

During “It's My Belly Button,” he was so close: that cute belly on display right in front of me as he dad danced his heart out.

During one chorus, when he got to the “something I want to show to you" line, he pointed at me. R grabbed my arm and hissed, “Dude, he fucking loves you.” (n.b. This all sounds like wishful thinking from a ridiculous fangirl, but I swear it's true. I harbor no delusions that there was some secret message in his actions. I know it meant nothing; he was simply playing up the moment for a reaction. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the attention, though.)

Meet and Greet

After the show, we were quickly ushered into a long line that wrapped down the side and around the back of the theater. I used the opportunity to run to the bathroom to freshen up the best I could. My group and I hung out in the line while I proceeded to try to calm my anxiety about talking to them again. One of the things that helped me with this was the soothing sound of Rhett's laughter echoing in the large space. Another thing that helped was watching how amazing they are with all of the fans they meet. From kneeling down to meet children to really focusing their attention on each person they chatted with, it's clear that every interaction is important to them. I know I've said it before, but we love some seriously great guys, y'all.

Prior to the show, I’d talked to Mr. Rooin about how I really wanted to have a nice picture of me hugging Rhett. Ever the patient and understanding one, he offered to hang back while R and I talked to the guys so he could attempt to get that picture on his phone (since Gary would have mine). (Spoiler: he got the picture and it might be my current phone lock screen.)

The line moved quickly (the meet and greet time goes by so fast), so it wasn’t long until it was our turn. R went ahead of me and introduced herself to Link, shaking his hand as she did so. As R moved on to shake Rhett's hand, Link's attention shifted to me over her shoulder. I smiled at him, once again blown away by how blue and intense his eyes are in person. I opened my mouth to introduce myself, but before I could, he welcomed me into a hug and said, “Good to see you again.” He patted my back like the last time, but held the hug for a couple seconds. “How've you been?”

“Good. Better now, though,” I answered as we broke apart. He grinned at me and I felt my heart melt a little bit. And then I turned to my left and into the open arms of the bearded one. He patted my back twice and I squeezed him tightly. He held the hug for a moment, holding me against him, and I probably clung onto the hug for a few seconds longer than I should have. I couldn’t help it; his hugs feel so damn good.

As I stepped back, I realized Link was talking to me again. “It's been awhile.”

“Well, only since April.” In my mind, I was thinking: Why am I getting sassy with Link?

Rhett said something in reply that made my whole face flush and caused my brain to shut down. I looked to Link for rescue. He simply laughed at my reaction, so I laughed with him while my mind was chanting wtf wtf wtf.

Then, Rhett said, “Okay, step up here for the picture. Where do you two want to be?” R, who is the extrovert between us, had fallen totally speechless in their presence. She's a Link girl, so even though logistically she should have been on Rhett's side based on where she was standing when he asked the question, I slid between them so she would be next to Link. (And, yes, so I could be next to Rhett.) As I put my arm around Rhett's waist, I glanced up at him and he was smirking away. I'm sure my crush is terribly obvious to him, but… meh, what are you gonna do? Gary took the picture while I tried to take in the moment and how it felt to have his body pressed so close to mine with his hand on my shoulder. After that R did a solo picture with the guys. She finally found her voice to ask for hugs before she left and they obliged.

I did an individual photo with them and then, my meet and greet time was nearly done. I handed Rhett the letter I'd written them and stammered out an explanation about how I hoped they would read it later. He smiled kindly and then passed it back to me to give to Jenna. I hung around watching while B and Mr. Rooin met them. Finally, we got our posters/bags from Jenna, Lily, and Lincoln. I talked to Britton for a minute before we made our way out and took a picture with him this time. I almost made it out of the theater before I teared up. Almost.

I feel very fortunate and grateful that their shows have been in locations close to me. Years ago, when I discovered these two and became a fan, I never expected that I would have the opportunity to meet them once, let alone three times. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would be someone they would recognize on sight. I heard them say similar things to other fans who they'd met before. It's comforting to know that even though there are millions of fans out there, they see us.

#riley's ramblings #meet and greet #smitten kitten #i love two (2) men #i am a walking awkward situation #rhett and link live #randl live detroit

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jamiefairfaxisntcool · 5 years

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/mu/core album review | Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

/mu/core album review #1

this week on /mu/core album review, we look at:

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Ah yes, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. The album that’s mostly known as either, “that one weird album from the 90s,” or, “/mu/ basic bitch meme music.” If you’re anywhere past a casual music fan, you have most-likely heard some songs off this project, if not the whole thing, doubly so if you’re into 90s culture, Indie, or any sort of Art-Rock or Folk movements. As I type this, the most popular YouTube rip of the album has about 4.3 million views, a playlist separating each track stands at 500,000 views, and the title track has a remarkable 40,733,956 plays on Spotify. Holy shit, to put that into perspective: AV Club writes that, “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea was originally slated to sell about 7,000 copies,” that’s roughly 5,819 times the predicted sales numbers of the album on just that song. This also means that this song has been listened to for approximately 131,163,338 minutes, a total of around 131,163,299 more minutes than the actual album length. Humanity has spent a collective 249 years listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Oh, and that’s just the title track.

If I couldn’t spell it out so clearly there, this album is fucking outrageously popular.

Even if you haven’t heard any material off the LP, this album is memed pretty heavily in the music corners of the internet. I don’t think I can find a single music meme page or forum that hasn’t jumped upon the ITAOTS or NMH bandwagon.

At this current point in time, ITAOTS has became a permanent resident in the zeitgeist of internet music culture. NMH, and by extension, it’s creator, Jeff Mangum have been elevated to a cult of personality status. The band and this project are accompanied by a never-ending choir: 15-25 year old sad white boys who cry while sing-screeching about semen and Anne Frank and poorly play open chords on their detuned Ibanez acoustics.

It’s oddly beautiful.

The album is so deceptively simple, so creatively cryptic and has all the elements of a slog faux-folk fest filled with whining that would bore me to so many tears that they could rival the sad boy indie kids who lose their e-girls to their more socially active explore-page bait counterparts. To a person not familiar with it, ITAOTS could look like an over hyped, masturbatory depression tape. It looks boring. It looks like it should be boring.

If it should be boring, then why have I only listened to it and absolutely nothing else for the last two days?

This isn’t a joke, I revisited the album of course to refresh myself before sitting down and writing this review. I kept listening, over the course of a school day, in-between production and songwriting sets, while playing games, and as I write this, I just finished my eighth spin of the record. Before those last two days, I had only listened to the album probably twice.

I remember listening to it back in seventh grade and not particularly disliking it. I was really into Yes and a lot of other Prog and Psych bands, but I wasn’t particularly impressed with the almost yuppie voice that Jeff had used on the record compared to vocal beasts like Freddie Mercury, Bowie, and Jon Anderson. Later on, I listened in freshman year, and I appreciated it much more, and had a few songs come up in my shuffle play, but thought nothing much of it.

Now, war had changed.

part 1: i’m the fucking carrot king

As I plopped down in my computer chair, my window crackled and banged like a distant firecracker with the smack of heavy rains on a Summer afternoon. I placed my headphones firmly atop my ears, closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I heard the opening chords of The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1 and tried not just to hear the instrumentation, but also pay attention to the lyrical content of Mr. Mangum.

When you were young, you were the king of carrot flowers And how you built a tower tumbling through the trees In holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet

Okay, so what the fuck is actually happening here?

Upon my listens, I inferred that Jeff is speaking to another party here, most likely a female love interest, in what seemingly starts in a nostalgic tone. This sounds almost like a picturesque, coming-of-age, Americana film. Maybe one starring Molly Ringwald and River Phoenix, with a surprise cameo from someone famous back then like Jack Nicholson. Maybe John Candy, with a John Hughes script. Everything would have those faded out, classic colors, a hearkened back era. Quickly, by halfway through the first act, the tone shifts. A darker mood, a stark, grim reminder that life wasn’t always sunny and shinning in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

And your mom would stick a fork right into daddy's shoulder And dad would throw the garbage all across the floor As we would lay and learn what each other's bodies were for

The Mang informs us of a horrific family life, specifically about what seems to be his dad’s, stepmom’s, and stepsister’s interpersonal relationships. The lines are obvious and straightforward, the life of our protagonist was rife with unhealthy familial and sexual relationships, and a sense of love and sweetness was not found there. Keep that in mind when thinking about later songs such as Oh Comely.

After the somber intro of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1, we reach my personal least favorite track on the album: The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 2 and 3.

Look, I know the meme. “I LOOOOOOOOOVE JESUUUS CHUHRIEEEIISSSSTT,” and all that shit. I’m not even worked up about that line in particular, I just dislike Pt. 3. It’s the weakest of the upbeat songs on the album, with the weird yodel-screech voice that Gumman performs with really takes me out of the experience, which sucks because the buildup and atmosphere of Pt. 2 felt pretty amazing. Luckily, Pt. 3 is fairly short, so we don’t have to worry about it too much.

part 2: earth angel’s thesis

The title track for this album is one of the best songs on this album, no fucking contest. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Oh Comely, The Fool, and Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2 are top contenders when discussing this album. If you like the faster, fuzzier, upbeat songs you could probably substitute The Fool for Holland, 1945.

The title track has a familiar sounding chord progression and we can hear Gum from Jet Set Radio’s saccharine but yelp-y voice belt out from atop the mountains his undying love and admiration for... Anne Frank?

What a beautiful face I have found in this place That is circling all round the sun What a beautiful dream That could flash on the screen In a blink of an eye and be gone from me

In the first verse, Geoff mentions meeting or viewing a beautiful person on this fleeting rock circling round the Sun. He also matches this with the idea that it’s truly futile for him to chase after this beauty, as it is only a dream that could escape him when he awakes. El Jefé has actually mentioned that some of his surrealist lyrics are derived from dreams. Perhaps these lines could imply a more literal dream fading? I don’t exactly know, all I know is what I interpreted.

The instrumentation of this piece is nothing straying from NMH’s usual repertoire: Mandrake on Guitar and Vocals, Scott Spillane on the Horns, Robert Schneider on Bass and Production, Julian Koster playing... something. What is he playing? Wait, give me a second.

He’s playing the Singing Saw? I thought it was like, a Theremin. What the fuck is a Singing Saw?

Oh.

Okay sure, you can play that, however the fuck you do that.

And finally we have Jeremy Barnes on Drums.

The personnel handle the music with a light, bouncy feeling, and the tone and timbre remind me of a faded, old, seaside town on the east coast. Another thing to mention is that the chord progression is G-Em-C-D; I-vi-IV-V. A funny thing I noticed is that this song shares a chord progression with tons of songs from the 50’s and early 60’s, which adds to the waning Americana feeling, but it more specifically shares that progression with Earth Angel by The Penguins. In the 80’s film, Back To The Future, Marvin Berry covers the song with his band for the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance where Marty’s dad and mom have to dance to ensure that the future stays intact. There’s no further real connection, but I thought that was kinda cool to mention.

After looking through the lyrics for In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, I will admit, as a brainlet Two-Headed Boy Pt. 1 eluded me. Patrolling through Genius and some other reviews, I guess the consensus about this track was that it was about Anne Frank again? Manta Jeff’s cryptic lyricism continues to fool me. Besides the lyrics, this track mostly remains a piece of really good filler.

part 3: stop the military occupation of my brainwaves

The Fool is amazing, anyone who says it’s filler is wrong. I know I might anger some people by literally implying that Two-Headed Boy Pt. 1 was filler, but seriously The Fool just makes me a feel a way. My brain creates a scene reminiscent of a depressing diesel-punk Les Misérables. Even though Scotch Spillage’s fantastic piece for horns is beautifully imperfect, it lacks lyrical content and is short and length. So, let’s instead talk about Holland, 1945.

This awesome, uptempo, almost punk-like piece of fuzzy brass is groovy son. It’s probably the song you could show someone not familiar with this project and they’d be like, “Oh, is this Cake? Why is the lead singer singing so high now?”

Holland, 1945 is a song that you can just listen for the instrumentation. Holland, 1945 is a song that promotes peace and love. There’s so many great things I can say about Holland, 1945. How it’s theme is so perfectly fitting for today’s political climate, how it manages to blend these psychedelic and bluesy timbres with a fast and loud sound and how well it continued the semi-conceptual narrative of Joff’s admiration and love for... Anne Frank.

Okay, fuck it, I have to say it. It’s bothered me ever since I discovered it.

Why Anne Frank? Like, I know why Anne Frank, but I mean like, why, y’know? I’ll say I admire Anne Frank, she was trying her best to live a normal life in a terrifying time to be alive, but I never wanted to fuck her. xxJeffxx’s mentions of Anne kind of make me raise an eyebrow. Especially because the album’s not just about her either. When he gets sexual, it’s difficult to determine whether he is mentioning a third party or Anne, which would be pretty weird, as she was 15 when she died and Heff was 28 when he wrote this. Maybe this is just some patrician music shit that I’m too plebeian to understand, like heated toilet seats or drinking for fun rather than to drown the pain. Maybe I haven’t sat down and watched enough flowery-squarespace-sponsored-lofi-hip-hop-muzak-using-pretentious video essayists to understand it, but what do I know.

part 4: the proletariat cries

To wrap on the second half of the album, this is the half that I cried in.

Communist Daughter is a good song, but with how short it is, it left me wanting more. This track is one of the few that actually features a soft-spoken Jeffen, and its open and dark but dreamy atmosphere left my jaw agape. The mountaintops weren’t the only thing stained.

Oh Comely, Oh Comely. Oh Comely is a song that deserves its own review. The lyrical chops of The Mangum Magnum are on full display as he belts somber, brutal verse after verse, with plenty of juxtaposition between sickening, sexual and vile situations alongside a description of a sweet, innocent young girl, just trying to survive with a guitar by her side. This beautiful, lovely girl gets taken advantage by someone, some people, perhaps even Yeff himself, only seen as an easy lay, a whore, like the ones her father visits often. He disgustingly describes semen in the garden, and her making miracles with her mouth, but I didn’t get a tone similar to so many songs about “sexual-empowerment.” The song is about self-deprecating depression leading to her being used, perhaps even abused. A situation all too real, too close to many of us. As I type this, I don’t know what to think. A woman should of course have individual sexual freedom, but this song doesn’t describe that. It describes trauma, emotional, psychological trauma. Meaningless sex, a rotten smell, staining the flower of a woman, all of this language that could be simply described as gross. This isn’t a happy song about fucking bitches. This song is about how a girl wanted to play music, pluck vines and was taken advantage of, reduced to her roots, and deflowered. Fuck. I wish I could save her. In some sort of time machine.

Two-Headed Boy could refer to a number of things. I have a head canon. This girl, Comely, is being used by the Two-Headed Boy for sexual favors. The Two-Headed Boy then “repays” her in friendship and music, playing their silly little songs. On the surface, Comely assumes the Two-Headed Boy trusts her and cares for her, but really all he wants is sex. Comely, living in a broken home and without a proper male figure in their life, is conned by the Two-Headed Boy, and just wants to live a normal life. Comely is trapped. She’s living in a place that is surrounded by the texture of scum and she knows it, she just can’t call upon the strength to leave. She’s trapped in a home, a ghetto, wanting to live a normal life, but she’s been placed here by the Two-Headed Boy, who knew her mother and father were broken, and she would be too. The Two-Headed Boy broke in, claimed to be her friend, and supports her, before defiling her. Comely was pretty, bright, and intelligent. She was just in a bad situation.

Comely was Anne Frank.

Not to say that they were literally one in the same, but I mean J. Mangum (private eye) is comparing two children, ripped from their lives by this awful world, and intertwining them, blurring the lines.

Who’s the Two-Headed Boy? As I said, it could be a number of people. Nazis, Peter van Pels, hell, even Jeff Manga himself could be the Two-Headed Boy. It doesn’t matter as long as we realize the relationship between oppressed and oppressor.

There is a glimmer of hope for Comely though. Read the closing words from Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2:

Two headed boy, she is all you could need She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires And retire to sheets safe and clean But don't hate her when she gets up to leave

Comely and the Two-Headed Boy split away from each other. Comely leaves the Two-Headed Boy, and the narrator says not to hate her when she leaves. On a deeper level, this could be an introspective Jeff Mangum relating on his past. I don’t really know.

outro

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

9/10

What did you think? Was I way off the mark, or do you agree? What should I have covered? What did you like, what did you dislike, I’m all ears. Leave a follow and a like if you liked it and I’ll see you on Wednesday.

#neutral milk hotel #music #music review #james fairfax #mu #/mu/core #folk #fuzzfolk #rock #anne frank

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thomaschattertonwilliams · 6 years

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By Thomas Chatterton Williams July 20, 2018 LONDON — When the world first learned of Michael Jackson’s death, from an accidental overdose in 2009, the news had a whiff of unreality about it. This was in no small part because, for so long, it had been hard to remember that he was actually a person. A child prodigy who in adulthood became a genuine Peter Pan — fantastically refusing to grow old — Jackson was always more an idea than a human being in the flesh. Nearly a decade later, the shape-shifting body frozen in memory, his extraordinary image endures as if he never left. Now, an ambitious and thought-provoking new exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery in London, running through Oct. 21, seeks to measure the impact and reach of Jackson as muse and cultural artifact. “Michael Jackson: On the Wall,” curated by Nicholas Cullinan, sprawls without feeling bloated, occupying 14 rooms and bringing together the work of 48 artists across numerous media, from Andy Warhol’s instantly recognizable silk-screen prints and grainy black-and-white snapshots, to a vast oil painting by Kehinde Wiley. (Jeff Koons’s famous porcelain sculpture “Michael Jackson and Bubbles” is notably absent, though it is reinterpreted in several other pieces.) First the obvious: No artwork, however clever or pretty, that has been inspired by a talent the size of Jackson’s can compete with its source material. To get the most out of what this show has to offer it is best to acknowledge this at the entrance and move on, as the most successful pieces do, eschewing strictly aesthetic concerns and exploring instead Jackson’s conceptual possibilities. Consider for example one of the simplest works in the show, David Hammons’s 2001 installation, “Which Mike Do You Want to Be Like…?” The piece — full of wondrous pride even as it conjures a sense of depressing limitation — consists of three abnormally tall microphones and its title recalls the Holy Trinity of late-20th-century black American entertainment icons as set out by the rapper The Notorious B.I.G.: “I excel like Mike, anyone: Tyson, Jordan, Jackson.” (B.I.G.’s own guest feature on Jackson’s 1995 “History” album marked a crowning achievement in his career.) More than 20 years later, rappers still clamor for a Jackson co-sign. On “Scorpion,” his latest chart-topping release, Drake flexed the ultimate status symbol, having purchased the rights to unreleased vocals and scoring a posthumous feature with the King of Pop. Jackson, more than Tyson or even Jordan, so epitomized black excellence that Ebony magazine could unselfconsciously run an airbrushed image of him on the cover in 2007, his creamy skin and silky cascading hair framing a razor-sharp jawline, beside a headline reading “Inside: The Africa You Don’t Know.” A year after the singer’s death, Lyle Ashton Harris recreated that image on Ghanaian funerary fabric. It’s jarring to compare the real late-life M.J. with another imaginary iteration that Hank Willis Thomas appropriates in one of the show’s more shocking offerings, “Time Can Be a Villain or a Friend (1984/2009).” In this, we see an uncannily convincing, and wholesomely handsome rendition of Jackson with his natural skin tone, a pencil-thin mustache on his lip and an ever-so-lightly relaxed puff of hair on his head. Mr. Thomas explains in the catalog that it is simply an artist’s rendering from a 1984 issue of Ebony, a glimpse of what the magazine imagined Jackson would look like in the year 2000. Without any alteration, it is by far “On the Wall’s” most critical work — the image originally so full of pride and hope is now an indictment, and haunts the show like a scathing rebuke. In this post-post-racial, post-Obama era of resurgent populism and Balkanized identity politics, it really does feel as though it matters — and matters more than anything else — whether you’re black or white. It does make for a particularly fascinating moment to re-evaluate Jackson’s image as a fundamentally “black” but simultaneously racially transcendent figure, or a monstrous desecration, depending on your perspective. Indeed, there is a push and pull between these running through the exhibition and the catalog that accompanies it. In the catalog, the critic Margo Jefferson calls Jackson “a postmodern trickster god,” noting “what visceral emotion he stirred (and continues to stir) in us!” She anticipates, in the next pages, the novelist and essayist Zadie Smith’s castigating contribution. Ms. Smith writes of her mother’s initial preoccupation with the singer: “I think the Jacksons represented the possibility that black might be beautiful, that you might be adored in your blackness — worshiped, even.” But, she adds, “By the time I became aware of Michael — around 1980 or so — my mother was finished with him, for reasons she never articulated, but which became clear soon enough. For me, he very soon became a traumatic figure, shrouded in shame.” “It was as if the schizophrenic, self-hating, hypocritical and violent history of race in America had incarnated itself in a single man,” Ms. Smith concludes. This critique is at odds with the warmth with which many black people still hold the singer, particularly in the United States, where he remains enormously beloved. But it calls to mind the furious assault on Jackson’s racial credentials with which Ta-Nehisi Coates began a recent essay on Kanye West. “Michael Jackson was God, but not just God in scope and power, though there was certainly that, but God in his great mystery,” Mr. Coates writes. “And he had always been dying — dying to be white.” He continues: We knew that we were tied to him, that his physical destruction was our physical destruction, because if the black God, who made the zombies dance, who brokered great wars, who transformed stone to light, if he could not be beautiful in his own eyes, then what hope did we have — mortals, children — of ever escaping what they had taught us, of ever escaping what they said about our mouths, about our hair and our skin, what hope did we ever have of escaping the muck? And he was destroyed. Such criticism, however heartfelt and comprehensible, makes the mistake of reducing Jackson to the role of tribal ambassador in a society built on oversimplified and regressive notions of racial and gender identity that his own art and self-presentation never stopped pushing against. It occludes the far subtler and more interesting insights that a genius can provoke, and too confidently pigeonholes an individual who knowingly rejected the stifling limitations of his country’s artificial racial binary for a dupe. The man who wrote “We Are the World” and “Liberian Girl,” and proudly recreated Egyptian splendor in “Remember the Time,” had an idealistic and expansive view of our common humanity. His androgyny, too, helped shatter restrictive notions of black masculinity. One of the most counterintuitive and compelling contributions to “On the Wall” is Lorraine O’Grady’s series of four diptychs, “The First and Last of the Modernists (Charles and Michael).” Comprising blown-up found photographs of the 19th-century French poet Charles Baudelaire and Jackson striking similar poses and tinted in a variety of pastel hues, like many of the works here, these pieces deal inventively with the theme of mirroring. “When Michael died, I tried to understand why was I crying like he was a member of my family,” Ms. O’Grady explained in an interview at the show’s opening in June. “I realized the only person I could compare him to was Baudelaire,” she said, listing ambiguous sexuality and a proclivity for wearing makeup as commonalities. “But more importantly, they both had this exalted idea of the role of the artist,” Ms. O’Grady added. “If Baudelaire thought he tried to explain the new world he was living in to the people around him, Michael had an even more exalted vision: He felt that he was capable of uniting the entire world through his music.” In Ms. O’Grady’s view, Jackson didn’t simply try to become “white,” as his detractors would have it — rather he “crafted himself physically to appeal to every demographic possible,” she said. By the time of his death, Jackson had long been one of the most famous people on the planet, if not the most famous. The footage of his “Dangerous” tour in newly post-Ceausescu Romania, on display in an eerie loop, provides hallucinatory testament to his outrageous global reach. It is estimated that his memorial service at the Staples Center in Los Angeles reached at least a billion people worldwide. “The first of the new is always the last of something else,” Ms. O’Grady notes in the catalog. Baudelaire, she writes, “was both the first of the modernists and the last of the romantics.” And Jackson “may have been the last of the modernists (no one can ever aspire to greatness that unironically again) but he was the first of the postmodernists.” He was, perhaps, the first of the post-racialists, too. Yet in our hyper-connected age of heightened political consciousness and reactionary fervor, in which identity is both a weapon and a defense, that view of race can feel naïve. But this is a failure of our own imaginations and dreams, not his. As “On the Wall” makes clear, Jackson’s own face — through a combination of fame and relentless surgery — became a mask, reflecting our own biases and ideals while concealing a deeper truth. His art and lasting appeal, on the other hand, function as a reminder to consider our own disguises, and what we might gain by letting them go. Michael Jackson: On the Wall Through Oct. 21 at the National Portrait Gallery, London; npg.org.uk.

#michael jackson #thomaschattertonwilliams

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trackmag · 6 years

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Colour And Narrative

The Human Eye has the capacity to recognize, and tell apart over a million different colours, yet language has failed to capture more than a handful in comparison. In Film, one was so desperate to include colour from the start of its creation, that there were numerous filmmakers around 1895 and 1950 that hand coloured each individual frame, as seen in the famous example by the Lumière Brothers and their Serpentine Dance from 1899. There was also a technique called ‘tinting’ which would allow filmmakers to tint the entire roll of Film, or larger sections of it in a colour of their choosing to deliberately shift or exaggerate the narrative of their stories.

With Digital Film a new world of opportunity opened for us as filmmakers and consumers. Every hue, luminance and saturation became available to us.

Directors like the Lumière Brothers were, or Wes Anderson is, have been fully aware of the fact that colour always produces a psychological reaction in us viewers. Historically we have gained knowledge of different associations to colour which, depending on the cultural background can vary, the sentimental knowledge however seems to be fairly accurate throughout all human beings.

Red for instance is globally associated with Fire and Blood. Therefore, also a symbol of warmth, passion and love but also aggression and destruction. These associations can be a striking tool to further elevate, or shape the narrative of a film.

Another great aspect or talent of colour and colour schemes is, that when used correctly, it results in cohesiveness. This is something we could all witness with the release of Lykke Li`s latest full length album called ‘So Sad So Sexy’. All three of the so far released Music Videos share a very similar colour scheme. This analysis deals with how the colours have been utilized in Lykke`s new releases, especially in the video for ‘Hard Rain’.

What we have established before, is that certain colours are chosen to be read and understood in certain ways. However, these previously mentioned associations (red = fire, blood, love) are not to be read as a clear set of rules to follow. It is less important to think of these colours as fixed expressions synonymous to certain adjectives but nonetheless important to pay attention to them, in order to find their specific place and meaning in a film. There have been decisions made on why, and where what colour appears. This is reason enough for us as viewers to stay alert and find the subjects which are connected to the colours. If they are actual protagonists which keep and hold a certain colour, or maybe a feeling which is visually expressed through colour.

Hard Rain

Hard Rain has many visually compelling tools. What I find impressive about this project SoSadSoSexy by Lykke Li, is the cohesiveness in the Sound AND Look of the Album. The Colours in all three in the following order released Music Videos: Utopia, Deep End and Hard Rain, are reoccurring in every single one. In the Case of Deep End, there were even previews of certain settings, and locations for Hard Rain. These seemingly small details connect all three Videos beautifully, without it feeling forced or contrived.

What Hard Rain in particular works with, is the complementary colour scheme. Where you use two colours which are in direct opposition to their counterpart on the complementary scale. None of the pairs within complementary colours dominate the other. If mixed they would end up being a light to dark grey. They cancel each other out so to speak.

By taking these opposites we already have a platform for narrative. We know these are two polar opposites, we know that none is stronger than the other. Naturally when Lykke is placed in the middle, in between two colours, we expect a border, or the fading of.

The Video starts out with Lykke and her Lover kissing in a shower, a clear shower curtain between them, keeping them mechanically and synthetically apart. There is a strong red light projected onto Lykke’s back, whereas her lover on the other side of the curtain is lit in green. These two colours are complementary to each other. Therefore, the border between the two is hereby the shower curtain. We know that these colours are vibrant on their own, but fail to mix and blend to produce another vibrant colour. So, there is a sense of danger which feeds into the Idea of both of them (LykkeRed and LoverGreen) touching or engaging with one another, as this may result in them losing themselves without gaining a new. Before we move onto the next shot, which is the title screen of the video for hard rain, also completely drenched in red, we witness the Lover`s hand slide under the curtain and grab onto Lykke`s shoulder blade. A trespassing, musically underlined like we`re used to in horror films. The story has begun.

Her Lover now walks down a hall which again is lit in red. He is now moving freely in her space. Lykke in her red jumper moves in the opposite direction. The red getting paler with each step, halting in a still vibrant pink. We see pond lilies from above, a pair of frogs walking on them. Both in a similar direction, sharing the pool like Lykke and her Lover. Here we see again the red and green imagery. Above water is red whereas everything beneath the waterline is green. And again, as a result to these opposites we have a clear accentuated border (here the waterline) cutting the image in half.

Still in the theme of water, we now arrive at a fish store with the couple. A sad trend in the pet-industry is to manipulate the lighting of fish tanks in order to let mainly tropical freshwater fish appear in a more toxic vibrant neon colour scheme, similar to the flashy colours of reef fish, rather than showing their natural colouration. This ‘fake’ light is flooding the entire room. Tinting the couple in their seemingly happy relaxed state. We see Lykke back in the pool alone, in a bright red dress creating gorgeous lavish shapes, followed by a ‘Match Cut’ through the Image of a red betta fish and it`s flowy fins, mimicking the dress we`ve just seen. Aligning these two images to one another, let’s us overlap Lykke`s and the fish’s experience in an elegant and obvious way. Her lover bought her the fish, trapped in a plastic bag. This could be read as an Omen to where Lykke is heading in the storyline, feeling trapped.

After clinical and playful neon lights and a quick flickering of images, one of which is the couple sharing a bed, the covers being green while bedsheets and pillows are dark red, we arrive in the heart, and seemingly most authentic raw part of the video. A short break, natural lighting, a sunset in the background, the couple`s touching foreheads, mimicking each other’s movements. What potentially could have been an awkward moment in a music video, is a refreshing and genuine halt within the story, Lovers being oblivious to the rest of the world, only perceiving each other.

This Lyric is very well applicable to the usage of the complementary colour scheme within the video. It focuses on the opposites between the two, sharing the same space yet always divided, if through curtain or waterline or just natural occurring border where one colour ends and the other starts. It also, of course, is heart of the song itself and where the couple in their relationship are heading towards.

From here on the gap, or wall between the couple seems to manifest itself in growing impatience and frustration in Lykke. The colours mainly remain red and green or shift to orange and blue, which again are complementary. What is interesting when looking at the following Image, is the compositional aspect in addition to the colours. Whereas the blue on Lykke’s side claims more space than the orange, her lover does the same by occupying more space in the frame than her. The colours alone seem unbalanced, but once we add the associated bodies, it appears perfectly balanced.

We arrive at an image reminiscent of the opening scene. Lykke and her love interacting through a physical and transparent separation. Contrary to the opening scene this divider isn’t flexible, nor is it as clear for her to see through, as the shower curtain. It appears decisions have been made on her side which have set, like the glass dividing the two. She no longer interacts or even looks at her former love interest, who is still trying to reach out through the wall.

Interestingly we see three dominant colours this time around. Lykke occupying the left corner in her red jumper, stands near green, whilst her Lover on the other side of the barrier occupies the larger portion of the image in a peachy orange. Is the addition of a third colour introducing something new to the story? A dynamic implementing where the story is headed, or simply suggesting that the conflict might be resolved here? Lykke leaving him in this orange space while she leaves the green empty, maybe for someone else to fill?

Whichever way we choose to interpret these colours, there is an underlying theme and association with our subjects throughout the video which is undeniable. Let`s choose to see these colours and try to use language to expand on what we perceive as narrative. Colours can be a very reliable, unassuming and elegant way to further transport a story, as well as generate a sense of cohesiveness throughout a project, which relies on colour schemes, as a kind of by product.

Watch HARD RAIN

#lykke li #sosadsosexy #so sad so sexy #album #musicvideo #music review #pitchfork #nme magazine #online magazine #colour #colour theory #colour and narrative #taylor joe #complementary colours #color #music analysis #analysis #trackmag #trckmg

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anyways-wonderwall · 3 years

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Album of the week #1

Dream Chapter: Eternity

(2020)

By Tomorrow x Together

Overall rating: 6/10

TL;DR: this album is meh but has the greatest song ever recorded, “Fairy of Shampoo”.

So the first album (well, mini album) of the week is kpop because I recently got back into listening to it and wanted to choose a random album I’d never listened to before. I asked my friend who is deep in kpop hell for a recommendation and this is what she threw at me, which honestly was a great pick on her part.

So for the album of the week, I’m gonna just go over each song one by one, then a full summary. But first, I’ll go over my general thoughts because I’m sure you don’t want to read hundreds of words.

General Thoughts:

Honestly pretty good. This is the first 4th gen Kpop album I’ve ever listened to and was kind of worried it would suck. I’ve been listening to kpop since 2015 off and on, and the last break I took was because all the new music that was coming out just sounded like American pop to me. That doesn’t mean it just got bad, it just became something I didn’t want to listen to.

Maybe I was just listening to the wrong groups because this album didn’t feel like that for me. I don’t think any of the songs were super unique, but each was different from the other, making an album that didn’t blur together. The fact that I won’t mix them up after only knowing them a week shows that this has a pretty nice variety.

That being said, the album wasn’t super unique. All of the songs were good, but something I could see any other kpop group doing. Maybe I don’t know TXT enough, I don’t know. Oh and one more point that is more directed at the entire kpop industry: why is falsetto the only way to sing? You guys are employing some of the greatest singers on earth and you’re really only letting them sing soprano. If that would change I would listen to only kpop til the day I die.

Song Breakdown:

1. Drama

THIS is how you start an album. It hooks you in right away with strong chords and sets a tone for the whole album that quickly changes and keeps you guessing. It’s kind of obvious how much I love the art of putting together an album, given that I’m only reviewing those, but this group does it well. Definitely one of my favorite album openings.

That aside the song isn’t my favorite, but it’s pretty dang good. It gives me a summer road trip to the beach vibes, and I really want to blare this on my car stereo with my friends. The chorus annoys me just enough that I’m on the fence about putting it on any of my playlists though. I think this is one of those songs that if I listen to it over and over I’d probably love it, but as of right now I just like it and will vibe to it on occasion.

Also, doing a Japanese comeback with a Haikyuu themed video? Very bold. They definitely knew what they were doing

2. Can’t You See Me?

Okay this is definitely a song that doesn’t match up remotely with the music video, something Bighit just loves doing. I’m not even going to remotely think about the greater storyline with these because I’ve already wasted enough of my life on kpop.

But onto the song, I don’t like this one much at all. It’s definitely not unlistenable and I get while people like it, I just really don’t. I know it’s hard to believe, but I actually don’t like much pop music at all, and this would fall into the not-good category.

It’s just a bit too computerized, and when you mix that kind of background music with auto tune I instantly lose interest. Plus there’s no real instruments in this one :/.

3. Fairy of Shampoo

Hey so do you ever want to take a song, put it in a blender, then inject it into your veins and become it? That’s what this song is for me. It’s not even an ear-worm at this point, it has become part of my brain and plays during any time I’m not talking. It’s hands down my favorite out of the album and one of my favorite kpop songs ever. I could gush about this song for 50 years but I’ll keep is short.

So apparently this song is a cover of a pretty famous disco kinda song from the 90s. I expected to like the original more but TXT’s version sounds better than any other one I’ve heard. The driving baseline makes me move to the song every time and every part of the song is ethereal, down to the fantastic choreography.

God and the chord progression?? It itches a scratch in my brain I didn’t know I had. When it shifts down to the G and the trumpet comes in I’m gone. Seriously you are doing yourself a disservice not listening to this song, it’s a solid 50/10.

4. Maze in the Mirror

So you know how I was saying that while each song was unique the album wasn’t? This song is what I mean. It’s very safe in everything that it does, to the point it is forgettable. I can only remember what it sounds like just after listening to it, and it falls very much into the forgettable middle part of an album.

While I don’t like it as it is I think this song would sound incredible unplugged and live. I think if it’s just them and an acoustic guitar, no editing on the voices, I would love this song. The overdubbing smooths over any character this song would have, and leaves it pretty meh.

5. PUMA

So when my friend recommended this album to me she said “don’t bother listening to Puma, it’s not good” and she’s right. Some people must like it because the music video 27M views, heck even the fact that there is a music video shows they thought it would be popular.

The song seems to meander without any purpose, and it borders on annoying for me. It’s just basic kpop to me with nothing fun added, and I was pretty bored listening to it. I thought Yeonjun’s rap would save this for me but it totally didn’t, it just made me sigh even more.

I don’t throw the word hate around often with songs, and I don’t think this really deserves it. It’s just unlistenable for me to the point I really dislike it. (But hey if you like this song more power to you, wish I could be you).

6. Eternally

Hey, another music video that makes no sense! It’s honestly in the short film category with how long it is, and I have to give them credit for making something super aesthetically pleasing that makes zero sense. But onto the song.

Drama was the perfect way to start this album and this was the perfect way to end it. Just as ethereal as the rest, with the coolest shift I’ve ever heard. The two parts of the song sound so so different from each other but somehow seamlessly shift from one part to another. The beginning sounded like any other BTS song to me but the shift made this song incredible. This is my second favorite on the album, only because Fairy of Shampoo is untouchable.

Final Verdict:

So the final verdict for the album of the week is whether I buy it and put it on my phone. Usually, I buy physical albums, since I’m super bad with technology and am paranoid I’ll lose my iTunes, but kpop makes that tricky. An album comes with so many bells and whistles that it costs an insane amount. This mini-album only has six songs but costs like $20, yikes.

On iTunes it only costs $6 though, so will I buy it? I’m still on the fence, but leaning towards yes. I think I might just buy the three songs I like because the other ones would just be skipped anyway.

#album of the week #album 1 #txt #tomorrow x together #album review #music review #music recommendation

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theeverlastingshade · 4 years

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Spirit They’re Gone, Spirit They’ve Vanished- Animal Collective: 20th Anniversary

Years before Animal Collective became indie royalty, they were just four Brooklyn via Baltimore transplants that had begun making music with one another throughout high school. The band wasn’t defined as such until Avey Tare (David Portner), Panda Bear (Noah Lennox), Geologist (Brian Weitz) and Deakin (Josh Dibb) first joined forces together for their terrific noise/freak folk record, Ark, in 2003. But before AC was established as a creative force, the various members released a handful of records under the names of the different members playing on them. Avey Tare had written the bulk of what was initially intended to be his first solo LP, Spirit They’ve Gone, Spirit They’ve Vanished, in the first few years that he moved to Brooklyn, but he was so impressed after hearing Panda Bear drum that he recruited him to play drums on the album. Defined by a fusion of psychedelic pop, freak folk, ambient, noise, and experimental rock, STGSTV is a landmark of avant-garde pop that established the idiosyncratic patch that the duo (and later trio/quartet) would follow throughout the rest of their career.

Although all four members of AC didn’t begin releasing music with one another until a few years after Tare moved to Brooklyn, they’ve been playing music with each other for years beforehand. Noah and Josh met in grade school, and at some point in high school Josh introduced Noah to Dave and Brian, whom he had formed an indie rock band called Automine with. From there the four of them began swapping tapes, playing music, and expanding each other’s tastes. After high school Dave and Brian moved to Brooklyn (where Dave began work on STGSTV), and Noah and Josh moved to Boston, where Noah began work on what become his solo debut LP as Panda Bear. Panda Bear is an album comprised of Noah’s high school home recordings that include a variety of instruments including acoustic/electric guitar, a bass synth, a keyboard synth, piano, and cello (but no drums, curiously). It’s a solid first effort that established Noah’s compositional approach, but it doesn’t leave much of an impression, and is easily the most underwhelming record that he’s released as a solo act. Although they had been recording with one another for years, it wasn’t until Noah tracked drums on STGSTV that their collaborations began to manifest into music that would begin to define their artistic careers.

In contrast to Panda’s lo-fi, experimental electronic solo debut, STGSTV is a primarily analog avant-garde pop record with traces of psychedelia, freak folk, noise, ambient, and experimental rock seamlessly folded into its electro-acoustic sprawl. Avey wrote all of the songs, and played all of the instruments save for the drums, which included acoustic guitar, piano, bass synth, keyboard synth, tape loops, and his unmistakable signature shriek, which became one of the most distinctive elements of their sound. Future AC songs would be shaped by Panda’s voice as well, beginning most notably on the stellar second strictly Tare/Bear AC record, Sung Tongs, but on STGSTV it’s just Tare’s voice leading the proceedings. STGSTV is broken up into 10 songs, 2 of which are instrumentals, and the other 8 run the gamut from 3 and a half to 12 minutes, while defying easy classification at every turn.

The album begins with “Spirit They’ve Vanished” which consists of little more than shrill synth tones fluttering alongside Tare’s understated croon. It’s both tender and abrasive, and it perfectly sets the tone for everything to follow. The record balances the duo’s burgeoning avant-garde impulses against Tare’s first real forays into songwriting. There are moments of percussion-heavy propulsion, and moments of mesmerizing drone, but there aren’t any viable singles, or many songs that really even follow a verse-chorus-verse structure. Whether we’re talking about a song with that builds to a more conventional peak, like the lumbering march of the deliriously psychedelic “Penny Dreadfuls”, or something a little bit more amorphous, like the wandering noise interlude “Untitled”, the tracks that form STGSTV are bewitching and eclectic in equal measure, but they never compromise an ounce of Tare’s vision.

Although Tare and Bear would continue recording with one another (and Geologist and Deakin) throughout the next two decades, and would end up releasing many better records, there are still plenty of songs on STGSTV that rank as among the best to be released under the name AC. The record’s second song, “April and the Phantom”, brings Panda’s nimble tribal rhythms into the fold for the first time alongside Tare’s aforementioned shriek, which quickly became a staple of their sound. “Penny Dreadfuls” was written by Tare at 16, and it slowly builds into a euphoric eruption defined by twinkling keys, a barrage of cymbals, and some of Tare’s most expressive singing up to that point.

“Chocolate Girl” is broken down into two movements, the first of which alternates between Tare singing wildly over chiming synths and cymbal rolls and a soft acoustic guitar progression smothered in tape loops and synth texture as Tare begins to serenade the listener. The second movement is a jaunty acoustic guitar and kick/snare bounce with Tare’s restrained melodic delivery hovering above it all, and it’s one of the most infectious moments on the record. And on the bubbly, yet propulsive late-album highlight, “La Rapet”, Avey delivers a surprisingly anthemic vocal melody atop some of Panda’s most complex rhythms for the bulk of the song, before they transition into a waltz propelled by bright synths and Tare’s wistful delivery. The elements of AC’s sound were transparent from the start, but they were never again configured into shapes quite this unconventional while still conveying so much heart.

The sentiments expressed by Tare throughout STGSTV are entirely concerned with the death of childhood. Every song discusses some facet of growing up, and Avey sums up the record’s thematic through line best at the end of the opening track, “Spirit They’re Gone”, with “In spirit they’ve vanished/And I’ll show you why/They’ll make you take elder paths by this time/If we were just dolphins/In the sea and fly/It’s hard to kiss our/Child games goodbye”. The high-pitched frequencies, dense, lo-fi production, and engaging melodies heighten the potency of the nightmare fairy tale aesthetics, but it’s Tare’s poignant observations on the transition into adulthood that gives imbues the record with a sense of timelessness far beyond the instrumental ingenuity.

On “April and the Phantom” Tare sings about a girl named April who longs to escape into nature despite the opportunities that adulthood present “Everybody wants it/Ah, can't you see me waste it?” while on “Penny Dreadful” Tare depicts an encounter with a bully on the bus that’s cut brief when a friend intervenes “It’s a shame to hear the sound/When the penny hit the ground/And I want to go back home”. The song “Chocolate Girl” almost functions as a microcosm of the record’s themes as a whole, with Tare eventually learning to make peace with his parting from the titular character “Bell of the rain who brought the stings and dead/And who will pop the trade/’Cause I can’t see you/I’ll open up my brain again”. The lyrics are generally simple and heartfelt, but as the record progresses the sense of whimsy continues to recede, culminating in the grand epic, “Alvin Row”.

While the vast majority of the songs on STGSTV don’t stand out among their finest offerings, the astonishing 12 minute closer, “Alvin Row”, is still the most ambitious song that Avey has written to date. Throughout the course of nearly 13 minutes Avey and Panda unleash a tour de force of catharsis that begins with a harsh sheet of white noise to signify birth. From there a gentle piano melody begins to pick up steam as Avey depicts his childhood in a state of rapturous awe “Old clapper you can step inside/Accustomed to the rust your silver child”. Within a few minutes “Alvin Row” reaches the point of adolescence, with Tare repeatedly screaming “Run!” in the most devastating and expressive tone that he’s ever delivered over some remarkable cymbal rolls from Panda. After the storm subsidies, and the realities of adulthood begin to settle in, the instrumentation slowly begins to shift into a steady psych-pop shuffle and Avey adopts a contemplative but optimistic tone “I pulled the glass, it dripped too fast for second dawn/Since we passed through the maze as we unlock the stage of my other ride”. The guitars and drums continue to pick up steam until Panda begins to deliver a barrage of cymbal rolls while Tare closes the song out with a resigned acceptance in departing from childhood, vowing never to lose that spark “When I’ll say go, you say go, dear Alvin”.

STGSTV wasn’t a commercial breakthrough for the band despite lighting up the blogs (that wouldn't happen until the pair reconvened for their aforementioned 2004 freak folk classic, ST) but it was without question a creative breakthrough. There were obvious precedents for their music in the work of The Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Olivia Tremor Control, Pavement, and plenty of underground visionaries, but there’s never been a record released before or since that sounds anything like the remarkably cohesive blend of acoustics and electronics that Tare and Bear utilized on STGSTV. The four future members of AC spent the summer before its release engaged in the kind of improvised electro-acoustic jamming that would go on to become inform all of their future recordings, and all of it had a precedent here.

The band rarely returns to songs from STGSTV for their live shows, which is hardly surprising given the overwhelming emotional rawness of the sentiments expressed on it, but every once in a while AC will play various snippets of songs as a kind of tantalizing fan service. Despite the heights that they reached throughout the ensuing decade, STGSTV has continued to loom large on everything that the members of AC have done together, and as solo artists. It not only established the core/scope of their compositional approach and recording process as a band, but it showed what’s possible when two people with boundless creativity join forces under no pretense but that of discovering the boundless possibilities of sound.

Essentials: “Alvin Row”, “La Rapet”, “Chocolate Girl”

#Animal Collective #spirit they're gone spirit they've vanished #paw tracks

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aviationfiction · 7 years

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XVII

Autumn Dupont

“You wanted me to love you when you said, softly, reach out and touch me. My love is in your hands.”

The sound of my voice filled the space of the palatial marble covered bathroom as I sang along to the stunning vocals of Stephanie Mills and the ever smooth and intoxicating Teddy Pendergrass. While shifting slightly to the right, my hands slowly trailed down, pulling the lavender flat iron along with them. Once I reached the end of the twenty six inches of tresses, I released it and allowed the bone straight strands to properly fall into place. My right hand placed the iron down on the counter as I ran the left through my hair to give it a bit of bounce and balance. I’d been working at properly straightening it for what felt like an hour while swaying my hips to the essentials of Teddy. Every second I spent listening to that special voice of his had me wishing that I’d been born in the fifties so that I could have been the muse of his love woos and woes. Instead, I’m left to just listen. Given the quality of his music, that’s more than enough to last me for a lifetime.

“Hurry it up Autumn.” I muffled my mumbling by coating my already lined lips with MAC cosmetics famed “Siss” lipstick. It’d be the final step of my multi tasked hair and make up process. I didn’t think I’d be as long as I’ve taken, but the comfort of the plush bed and it’s Egyptian linen left me purposefully entangled within the sheets for an addition hour after my alarm went off. I’m not quite sure how Rachel was able to convince Issac to allow her to book myself a thirteen thousand dollar a night suite at the Plaza Athénée but my God, I am more than appreciative of it. I’ve been in awe of the classically decorated Art Deco suite and left astounded by the phenomenal view of the Eiffel Tower from the terrace. I’ve been marveling in every single perk this suite and arguably the most romantic hotel in the city has to offer since my arrival and I am no where near finished. They say that a change of location and pace usually brings about peace and relaxation. Paris proved that to be true. A round of flutters filled my belly as Dante used my hand to guide me down the steps of the jet just a day ago and as I took in the already obvious scenic views of the city, I felt like I’d left my troubles and sorrows back in the states. For the first time in quite a while, the weight of my pain has drawn back and left me with some time to breathe.

My morning long thong dance party came to much needed end when I slipped into the high rise red stretch ribbed knitted midi skirt. While adjusting the waistband, I made sure the full length of the two way zipper was aligned properly. Omitting a bra, I pulled the matching Wang sleeveless cropped top over my upper frame. I’d seen this set in Nordstrom just a couple of days ago and refused to leave without the sporty yet posh look in my possession. Initially, I figured I’d pair it with either a pair of heeled ankle strap sandals or metallic flat ones, but given our plans for the day, these white low top Converses are the better and surprisingly cuter choice.

“Be right there!” I shouted loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear. While walking towards it, I twisted the earring back of my stud into place. Instead of glancing through the peep hole, I quickly opened the door and came face to face with the person I’d been expecting to see. My greeting suddenly became stuck in my throat as he leaned against the door post and my body instinctively took a step back when he properly adjusted his frame upright. My eyes panned down to his Air Max 95 covered feet, slowly trailed up past the perfectly fitted dark denim jeans and grey pullover sweatshirt, and widened at the sight of the black cap resting on his head. I expect formal attire despite it being a day of leisure. His uniformity has become the expected and no matter how much I tried, I could not picture him in anything denim, until now. I’m baffled.

“What’s up? I figured I’d meet you here and we just head down together.”

“You look nice.” I intended to formally greet him but my thoughts rebelliously poured out of my mouth beforehand. His eyes slightly shot up and the chuckle that slipped past his superbly blush toned lips left my entire frame rattled and unnerved. As my fingers ran through my hair, I briefly returned my attention to the floor to gather my thoughts. His scent; an odd make up of lavender and cedar, engulfed me.

“I do? Honestly, I was second guessing this. Surprisingly, the suits are easier to put together than everyday attire. These days I find myself working at it.”

“It’s great. It’s a nice look for a casual day.” I stepped aside and he walked past, slightly brushing my upper frame with his arm, to enter the suite. As I followed behind him, I listened to the sound of the door shutting behind the both of us. It was far more startling than it needed to be.

“You look nice too; incredible. The red is great.” I watched as he boldly analyzed every single aspect of my look and I nearly ran in the direction of the bedroom to dodge his intense and potent glare. With his hands stuffed into the front pockets of his hoodie and his tall frame intimidating towering over mine, he never once looked away. Even as I turned to walk away from him, I could sense his presence in it’s entirety.

“Thank you.” While standing at the head of the bed, I began to put on the rest of the pieces of jewelry I’d taken out to wear. He didn’t leave me alone within the confines of the bedroom for long. Upon his entry, he stood at the long windows and peered out at beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower.

“The view is beautiful isn’t? It was all I could look at until I fell asleep last night. Look at the Eiffel Tower.”

“It is beautiful. Not to brag but you have to see it from my room. It damn near feels like you’re standing in front of it. Come and see it later.”

“Well since you’ve given me an invitation, I will. I can’t wait to go and see it in person tomorrow.”

“Why don’t we just go tonight? We’ll have a bit of time to kill before we head out this evening. I figure it won’t be too time consuming to head over and see it tonight. We can go tomorrow too, after Disney Land. It closes late, so we won’t miss it.” Rather than asking me if I needed any help, he offered it by grabbing the final bracelet out of my hand, slipping it around my wrist, and carefully clasping both ends of it together by the hook.

“I’d like that.”

“Alright, then it’s a plan.” He wears his brim low, like a true New Yorker, and it oozes from his demeanor in all that he does. There’s just something about a New York man. You can pick them out from a crowd of a million. This particular New York man is distinct. There’s no picking him out of a crowd. I don’t believe a crowd would ever be courageous enough to stand around him in the first place.

“Shall we?” I double checked my pure white Wang bucket bag to make sure I had all of my day’s necessities and Dante grabbed the long sleeved sweater that completes the entire set and tossed it over his forearm. I hadn’t been thinking about the sweater and had he not grabbed it, I certainly would have left it on the bed. I’m known to leave things behind. If I don’t double or triple check my purse and pockets before leaving home, I go about on my journey missing something that is essential to my activities for that day. Shane would always play as my second brain. Like a parent, he’d come behind me and make sure to retrieve whatever I forgot. He’d been doing it since we were kids and if he were here, he’d be doing it right now.

“We shall.”

We were only been in the backseat of the Mercedes Benz for ten minutes and I was left in awe of the sights yet again. With Dante’s raspy voice filling my ears and my eyes taking in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, I wasn’t sure if I’d been trapped inside of one of my life long night time fantasies or if a big blue genie decided to grant me one of my many wishes. No, this has to be God; nothing more than God. I’d been wanting to come here ever since I curled up next to my mother and watched Gene Kelly and Leslie Carson sing and dance their way into my heart on my eight birthday. I was ill that year and wanted to do nothing more than lie in bed. With snacks that I could barely stomach and the warmth of her motherly love, I watched her favorite film and easily fell in love with it myself as she hummed along to every song and soothingly stroked her fingers through my hair. I invited Shane in on the love just weeks later. At least once a month, we’d share a movie night with mom and it’d always be “An American In Paris” no matter how many times we promised that we’d switch to a new film. Shane and I created endless amounts of Parisian adventures with every bit of information we learned about the city during our years of coming up and we promised that we’d come and spend an entire summer immersed in the way of life here. When I became a wife, my desire to visit here heightened even more. I wanted to marvel in my love for him, in The City Of Love and Lights, with my favorite musical’s soundtrack as our theme music. I'd envision the two of us walking along the cobblestone side streets, carelessly French kissing as our eager hands explored parts of our bodies that only needed to be touched behind closed doors. We’d visit the beautiful sights and small cafes, take pictures to fill a photo album for our children, and spend our nights making our first born. Andreas would always assure me that we’d come soon enough but soon enough became an empty promise I’d become accustom to. Instead, I’m here by the way of work and I’m accompanied by a man who I haven’t known very long. Oddly, this seems far more suitable. It feels liberating and genuine.

“Stand there. The lighting is nice.” Dante held my iPhone with his left hand and my purse with his right as I cheerily posed in front of La Pyramide Inversée yet again. I’d lost count of how many pictures I’d ask this man to snap as soon as we exited the car and he’s yet to complain. In fact, he’s hilariously encouraging it. He’d between changing between both my phone and his own for these pictures, aiming to get all of the right shots. I’d even brought along my personal Nikon but we’ve been moving too quickly for me to even think about it.

“You take picture with you husband?” The statement accompanied a tap on my shoulder and I swiftly turned to look at the curious woman as she pointed between both Dante and I. His eyes widened at the question she’d asked and embarrassment flushed throughout my frame as I slightly blushed at her question. The assumption bemused me. Neither one of us are wearing rings on the proper finger to signify a marriage and yet here she is somehow assured that we’re yet another couple in love, frolicking around this monumental city.

“Sure.” I chuckled as I shrugged my shoulders and his mouth slightly fell agape as she happily approached him. Chills danced along the back of my neck as he smirked and he handed over the iPhone. He then suavely approached me.

“Husband?” The warmth of his breath caused my body to shift in his direction and his lips lingered on my ear as he awaited a response.

“She said it. Not me.” His arm smoothly wrapped around my waist and the tips of his lengthy fingers softly dug into my flesh, leaving a tingle to dance along my side. Yet again, his aroma overpowered my own and left me intoxicated as it embedded itself into my memory. As he leaned in, his head rested on top my own and upper frame meshed into his. We both smiled. I only knew that because I could help but to glance up at his face in the midst of however many shots of that one particular pose the woman took.

“Vous deux êtes un beau couple!” As Dante took my phone out of her hands I couldn’t help but to laugh at her statement. I could only recognize the last word of it and that was more than enough to make it hilarious.

“What did she say?” I shrugged as a response to his question. She’d walked off far too quickly for either one of us to ask her to do her best to translate what I assume to have been a compliment into English and I’d be damned if I tried. Shane dedicated years out of his life into learning the French language. I’d chosen to take Spanish in high school and though I passed with high marks all three years that I took it, I can barely formulate a proper sentence of it now.

“I don’t know. Something about a couple.” I slid the strap of my purse over my shoulder as we began to walk along and my eyes took in the variety of people and cultures walking the exterior grounds of the historical museum.

“So what do you want to see first? You know there’s about ten different curatorial departments. This place is huge. It usually has up to fifteen thousand visitors per day.”

“Where’s the Mona Lisa?”

“She’s in the paintings department among seven thousand other paintings. You want to go there first? If we do, we should head to the Egyptian portion next. I think you’ll love it. They have arguably the most extensive collection in the world and it gives a lot of insight on ancient Egypt.”

“And the statues?”

“Sculptures have their own department. We’ll go there too. Don’t worry. I’m going to show you all the great aspects of his place.” His hand enclosed over mine as he pulled me along and we made our way through a crowd of people and past the lengthy line. Though we weren’t planning on visiting every attraction Paris has to offer, the Paris Passes he’d gotten through an acquaintance were the perfect score to get past the crowds and lines without having to endure the ridiculous wait. With every long stride we took and corners we turned, I silently thanked God that I’d chosen not to wear sandals or heels. Though I can handle hours in both, I’m almost sure I would have been barefoot by the time we finished with this massive place.

“There she is.”

Dante rose his arm to point at the world renowned painting and we took a step closer to the barrier that separated the crowd of people looking on from arguably The Lourve’s most prized possession.

“The painting is said to be of Lisa Gherardini. She was the wife of Francesco del Giocondo. It was painted around fifteen o three and was completed in fifteen o five. Supposedly it may have been painted for the new home of the couple or to mark the birth of their son, but either way, they never received it. It’s an oil painting. He started it in Italy and finished it in France. Later on down the line, it was acquired by King Francis of France and became French properly. It’s been on display here since either seventeen ninety six or seventeen ninety seven.” Mona and her seemingly content expression lost my attention as my eyes panned to the side of his face. He’s not only taken on the role of my tour guide, but he’s also a walking encyclopedia? What doesn’t he know or do? Though I don’t ask, I absolutely expect him to be able to offer expert advice in business, finance, and marketing but to say I expected him to be an art enthusiast or art history expert would be a lie.

“This is going to sound so silly but all I can think about right now is how she has no eyebrows or lashes.” His chuckle made me smile and I glanced at the painting once more continuing to wonder why Leonardo da Vinci would leave her without two pivotal assets to the beauty of a woman’s face.”

“Hm. Maybe the painting is incomplete or maybe women around that timeframe thought removing the eyebrows and eyelashes was a beautiful thing. Oddly, I’ve never noticed that until you mentioned it. I guess when you’re so busy trying to analyze the overall message of a piece of art, you tend to miss the little details.”

“Do you think she looks happy?” He slightly tilted his head to the left and his shoulders rose just a bit.

“I suppose so. I think everything this and about her is a symbolic simplicity. What about you? What does her expression read?” It was my turn to tilt my head as if that would help me better understand da Vinci’s mind when he created this masterpiece. Women tend to hide their emotions quite well and if anything, I believe he embodied the complexity of that aspect of us far more than he did an obvious emotion. Her expression is neutral and that can indicate an array of sentiments.

“I don’t know and I believe that’s the genius within this. That’s what makes this painting or rather this woman so iconic. We can stand here all day long and create a ton of scenarios about her facial expression, emblematic smile, and potential emotional state.”

“That kind of reminds me of you.” My mouth almost fell agape as I turned to glance at him once again. This time, he turned to take a look at me as well. The last thing I’d think I’d remind a person of is the Mona Lisa.

“Me?”

“Yeah. Well, before we began to speak to one another. I could help but to break the ice because I grew tired of trying to read you and understand what was going on in that head of yours. You were stoic. You still are.” I curved my lips as I assessed his statement and he playfully smirked. “What? You thought I was referencing to your looks? You’re no Mona Lisa. She wishes.”

With my cool on it’s hinges, the knot that was already resting within the back of my throat seemingly expanded in size and I immediately glanced down at the floor to gather myself and my thoughts as quickly as possible. My fingers fluttered through my hair and I’m almost sure I saw a glimpse of my flustered face on the pristine marble flooring. My eyes then panned to Mona and if I didn’t know any better, I’d think the pale faced woman was laughing at my perturbation to this man’s every word and movement. I’m unintentionally overthinking about all that he is, says, and does. It’s bordering on the line of being unjust.

We’d gone off to see an additional thirty pieces of art work which is far more than I ever though we’d get through. The visuals I’d only seen in books or on the internet were nostalgic to see in person and he left me bewildered by all of the information he had about so many of these paintings by memory alone. I had to ask him how he’d been able to learn so much about art and he admitted he took art history summer courses over a summer at his alma mater just for the sake of culturing and enriching his mind. It became his way of taking his mind off of the endless business courses and his paid interning at A&M. The often misunderstood Jean-Michel Basquiat is his favorite artist and unlike the rap artists, his reasoning for him being so doesn’t have any cliches within it. He has a preference for neo-Expressionalism. Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.

“The artifacts in here date all the way back to about four thousand BC.”

“Tell me more Wikipedia.” We shared a laugh and he lightly nudged me in the side as my eyes glimmered over the Crypt of the Sphinx in the very first room within the Egyptian department of the museum.

“Well this piece here, they found it in about eighteen twenty five among the ruins at the Temple Of Amun at Tanis. That was the capital of Egypt during the twenty first and twenty second dynasties. This is inscribed with the names of three pharaohs; Ammenemes the Second, Merneptah, and lastly Shoshenq the First.”

“How the hell do you know all of this? You studied art history and Egyptian history as well?” He stumped me. I feel like I didn’t learn anything in school. While I am knowledgeable enough in both topics, he’s absolutely running circles around my intelligence effortlessly. I didn’t think it’d be this bad.

“Nah. I just read that little sign right there.” As he pointed it out, it was my turn to nudge him back and I shot a side eye in his direction over his amusement. I was so in awe of the beautiful craftsmanship lying in front of me that I hadn’t notice the plated description card resting to the furthest right of the wall.

“How many rooms are there?”

“For this section? I believe there’s about thirty of them.”

“My God. Maybe half or a little less?” We’d be here all day and throughout the night if we attempted to see everything. I don’t think it’s possible to do it all within a day. I don’t even believe it’s possible to do it all within a week.

“Yeah. We’ll know when we’ve had enough.”

We didn’t know when we’d had enough. Our feet moved as quickly as my mind; with every second of excitement and intrigue radiating from my frame. My desire to see everything heightened with each room we visited and as we cut corners and walked long stretches to see other domains within the museum, it took the both of us constantly checking our phone and even his watch to forcefully drag ourselves out of The Lourve to make it to lunch on time.

For lunch, we’d chosen Ferdi. Though small in size, it’s laid back ambiance was the perfect setting for the mellowed lunch we were seeking. Typically, the ever popular establishment is booked for weeks on out but Dante had been able to pull yet another set of strings to effortlessly have us escorted to a red booth in the back of the restaurant without any issues. While consuming spiced beef empanadas, their beloved burgers, and a shared bowl of macaroni and cheese, we relaxed and conversed in the comfort of the rich burgundy decor and stone walls. The eclectic musical soundtrack was an added bonus. I don’t know how we found the room, but we’d taken a complimentary dish of churros to go and finished all of them before arriving back to the hotel.

In a rushed effort, I stripped out of everything, leaving each piece as they lie, before running into the bathroom to do what I described to him as my quickest effort of freshening up. A quick shower, another session of applying lotion to every nook and cranny of my body, running the flat iron over the pieces of hair that needed a bit of heat, and lastly a touch up of my make up with the lip color changing to my favorite bold red. For the evening, I’d chosen Anthony Vaccarello pieces I purchased some time ago. Both were among the occasional “splurge for the sake of physically appeasing Andreas” days and I’d yet to find somewhere to wear them until now. Though short in length, the cropped sleeve suede dress and it’s high round neck would serve well enough to shield my upper body from potential winds of the now cool nighttime temperature. The dramatic cuts on the base were purposefully done to display the thighs but I’d deemed them to be tasteful enough. The cabochon stud embellishments were simply that; decorative enhancements meant to further heighten the style of the dress. The long gilded viscose jacket and it’s stylish notched collar could have been overkill but for some reason worked quite well in contrast to the suede. My strappy heeled open almond toe sandals were designed by him as well. To match my lips and step away from the blue and black garb, I completed everything with a red YLS clutch bag I’d taken out of my mother’s closet just hours before leaving the country.

With six minutes behind the scheduled time I assured him I’d be downstairs, I rushed out of the suite’s door and to the elevator. His patience is certainly a virtue because had it been anyone else, my head would be on a platter right now. Shane accepted my occasional lateness and that’s because he was late all the damn time. He’d always assure me that perfection takes time and though my beautiful brother couldn’t achieve any more perfection than what he already had, I gave him the time. I’d give anything to give him some more. Now, here I am, adopting his habits. Hopefully my perfectionist Parisian tour guide isn’t doesn’t ever become offended by what it unintentional.

As the elevator’s doors pulled apart, I chortled at the sight of him leaning against the wall waiting for me. What amused me wasn’t his stance, him waiting, or his presence. From head to toe, we were unwittingly wearing the exact same colors as one another. For this evening, he’d opted for a royal blue version one of his many designer suits. Much like myself, even his long trench style of coat was exactly the same shade of blue. To further sleek and enhance it, he paired it with a midnight black collared shirt and a tie of the same color. For some reason, the blue highlighted the bone structure of his perfectly symmetrical face and the tailoring outlined every aspect of him beyond reasonable belief. It highlighted the slight smiled that etched its way onto his alluring face. The blue enhanced the mystery that is Dante St. James.

“Great minds think alike?” His eyes slowly trailed down, taking in all of me, and I bid him a small smile with a nod.

“I’d say so.”

“Are you ready? You have everything you need?” The the double check I did upstairs was enough but here is my triple check. He’s it.

“I believe so. Where are we going?”

“Théâtre du Châtelet. We’re going to see a musical. An American In Paris. It’s not officially opening here until the fall but I scored tickets to tonight’s preview of it. I’ve heard great things about it and I figured since we both enjoy music, it’d be cool to see. That’s even if you like the theater. Do you? If not, we can do something else. The night is young and…”

“Are you kidding me?” I hadn’t intended to rudely cut him off but my knees nearly buckled as soon as the name of the musical slipped past his lips. This has to be some sick twisted fate because in all the hours we spent together today, I’d never mentioned anything about my all time favorite musical or anything related to it. We hadn’t even spoken about films. We spent house hours talking about our families; verbally introducing each of the key players in our lives with a well enough description about all of them. I’ve yet to see the musical live on Broadway. Anytime I’d make plans to do so, they always fell through. To see it here is more meaningful than it would be seeing it anywhere in the states. This brings it full circle. Being here allows me to relish in it. I can’t quite recall the last time I’ve received a gift but this is arguably the best one that I’ve been given in years.

“It’s my favorite musical ever. Seriously. I could cry right now but then I’d ruin my make up. I forgot to pack my waterproof mascara.” We shared a loud laugh; mine being of excitement and his visibly being of relief. The nervousness within his aura couldn’t possibly equal to mine.

“Well, good. I’m glad that we’re going to see it. I’ve never seen the film, so it’ll be something new for me.”

“You’re going to love it. Even if you don’t love it, you’ll appreciate it.” As we walked towards the exiting doors, I slightly trailed behind him, taking in his stride. He moves like a warrior and yet his entire being screams gentlemen. His head is always held high, chin slightly up, and he steps forward with a agility that I’ve never witnessed within any other man. There’s no way possible that it's something that he’s been taught. I cannot assume that it’s within all of the St. James men. It seems so exclusive to him.

“First, we stop at the tower.” He held the door open for me and allowed me to walk out head of him. When we approached the awaiting car, he opened up the backdoor before the driver could and allowed me to slide into the backseat. I didn’t move far. Rather than sitting on the right side, I remained in the middle, close to him as he sat on the left.

“You know, since we’ve been out today, I’ve yet to see you use your phone for anything other than the camera. How do you get the calls to suddenly stop coming?”

“I don’t. It was on airplane mode.”

“Seriously?” My eyes widened at the revelation and he smirked in response to the initial shock.

“Yes. I took it off when we returned to the hotel and I put it back on while I was waiting for you to come downstairs.”

“But why? I don’t mind you using your phone or taking important calls. It’s understandable.”

“It’s nice that you don’t mind but I’d rather not. No one’s dying. If there’s an emergency, they know where I am.” My fingers tapped along my exposed thighs and I thought about my own phone that I’d left on vibrate. Most of my calls were from my mother and there was one from Heather asking me about the details of my almost completed plans for her bachelorette party and I rushed her off of the phone before she could began to meddle about what’s been happening here. I hate having to explain myself; especially to a giggly and giddy audience.

“Having you been sleeping well?” His eyes panned over to stare into mine and he silently questioned why’d I wanted to know.

“I’m asking because you work really hard. You deserve to sleep in and just have some time to breathe. Like I told you, you need to live. You can’t be all work and no play. Are you sleeping? Has this been okay for you?”

“I slept in this morning. I got some much needed rest and I lounged around a bit. It was nice. How about you?” I shrugged. A part of me wanted to lie to him and keep the medical troubles to a minimum but I hate to start what can easily spiral out of control.

“I sleep when my body allows me to. After the TIA it’s became very hard to do so without taking a pill. I mistakenly left them in my medicine cabinet. It’s okay though. I slept for a few hours last night.” His dark brows furrowed as he frowned and his blazing eyes peered into mine.

“So you suffer with insomnia?”

“I guess so. It’s a side effect. The hand, numbness here and there in my side, my speech slurs every now and then. It hit me a little harder than it was supposed to. That’s what the doctors say. My hand is at like ninety two percent. I still work on it, though I’m not sure if I’ll ever reach the full capacity I once had. They talked about surgery but I’m not interested. The hand is too delicate. I did and still do my own speech therapy and I’m much better. The numbness is occasional. I could have been dead, so insomnia is the least of my worries. You know?”

“But sleep is important.”

“It is and I’m working on it. I’ll get better.”

“Are you sure you’re working on it?” His intense glare didn’t falter. Instead, he placed his hand over mine and just about dared me to lie to him.

“I am. Seriously.”

“Good. We need you around for a long time. You have a lot to do before you’re old and grey.” I chuckled at the though of it. I do have a lot to do and I’m still trying to figure out what all of it will be.

Silence filled the car and we stared out of the same window until the car suddenly came to a halt. Dante couldn’t move fast enough. Within seconds of him exiting the car, my heeled feet jogged as quickly as they could until I was close enough to be face to face with the tower of dreams, hope, and romance. Though I looked up at it, it felt as if it was peering down on me, while miraculously shinning brighten than any sky in the darkened sky. The beauty of it is a testament to the capability of man kind and it’s power reigns as it stands in within it’s realm. I cannot differentiate between the natives and tourists but I could only wonder if people are viewing this in the same manner that I am. Can they feel the magic?

“Can you believe this?” He hadn’t been standing along side me like I expected. Instead he was behind me, quietly taking photos of me becoming one with the structure.

“Believe what?”

“This. All of this. How beautiful.” As I turned, the flash of the camera quickly beamed onto my face and vanished within a second. Had it been anyone else, I would have shielded myself but these moments are worth being captured. I’d like to look back on all of this one day and be proud of myself for seeing all that I’ve dreamt of.

“It lives up to the hype?” His eyebrows rose as he questioned me and I quickly nodded my head.

“And then some. This is awesome. Wait until I show my mom.”

“I know it’s dark but I think the pictures will turn out great and you look incredible. Stand right there. You can send these to your mom later on.”

“And a selfie. We have to take selfies.”

“And a selfie, Autumn.” He playfully rolled his eyes and pointed at the spot once again.

“I said selfies. That means more than one.”

“Yes. Selfies.”

Once he gave me the confirmation that I’d been aiming for, I obliged his request and stood in the exact spot that he’d chosen. With both of our phones in his hand, he alternated between capturing different angles of me and photographs of the tower itself. Yet again, he’d shown me a hidden talent. Who knew that someone could be so gifted at taking photographs on an iPhone. He turned what are usually the most ordinary pictures into something out of a Parisian tourism catalog. He’d even slightly edged out my selfie skills but I’m only giving him the credit for it because his arms are extend further than my own and he’s able to capture more than I can because of that bodily characteristic. Before leaving, he finally caved and allowed me to take three pivotal shots of him. I figured I’d print one when we returned home, frame it, and gift it to him as a piece of Paris for his office. It’d be a small token of thanks for his hospitality in a city that belongs to neither one of us. He’s made me feel at home.

Yet again, he gifted me with another breathless moment as I nearly sat on the edge of my seat taking in the musical. The orchestra took control of my body as I swayed and mouthed along to every single song and the intricate and stunning movements of the performance artists captivated my eyes. I was in a trace throughout the performance; imagining myself on stage with all of them, twirling and happily allowing my body to move along to the infectious sounds on it’s own accord. The smile on my face remained in tact from the very moment the curtain opened and it didn’t falter when it closed. Instead, I cheerily sang along to myself as we exited the theater and even in the car on the way back to the hotel. I became a source of entertainment for Dante, leaving him filled with laughter as he listened and watched the hopeless romantic within me blissfully pour out within the streets of the city it belonged in. I can be that here. I can be Leslie Carson, Audrey Hepburn, Ingrid Bergman, and Donna Reed. Even if it’s by myself, I can marvel in all of it. Even if it’s temporary, I’m thankful to be able to be the whimsical woman I became on a huge university campus in Los Angeles, California.

“You’re right. Your view is better.”

I slightly leaned over the rails and peered out at the Eiffel Tower as it stood in a short distance glimmering into the late night. A faint wind blew, flushing through the silk slip dress I changed into for comfort upon my arrival to my lavish suite. I planned to give Dante a break from the exhausting person that is myself but he reminded me of the invitation he extended earlier and I obliged. Warm Chocolat Chaud à l’Ancienne and macaroons awaited me and we enjoyed the midnight snack while lounging out on the terrace and taking in the wondrous view. The heat radiating from his lanky frame served as the warmth for my own and the sound of the city was the soother.

“I figured you’d appreciate it.”

Oh, I do. I certainly appreciate it; all of it. The view is second. He is first. I appreciate him more; more than I want to.

More than I need to.

My heart wildly thumped against my chest as my stomach filled with a ravenous rage of flutters. My lips quivered. My core tingled. My flesh shivered. My mind withered. I’m becoming undone, without a flicker of mercy, by my fantastical mind.

Dear, God.

Help me.

#j. cole fanfic #j cole fanfic #j. cole fanfiction #j cole fanfiction #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #rihanna fanfic #rihanna fanfiction

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lanasitra · 7 years

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Honeymoon Notes | What’s It Like?

Composed in the summer of 2013

I wrote “What’s It Like?” when I was going through both the “I’m not happy with myself” phase and the “I think I’m going to die any day now” phase. In tandem with these two trains of thought, something that would become a recurring practice for me toward the end of my first year of university was the gross over-analysis of my contemporary situation, as well as those of my potential futures. At one point, I had a breakdown because I felt that, once I had found “the one” and settled down, there would come a day where nothing excited me anymore; I felt I would just be bored, scrolling through YouTube videos until I died. Another side of me thought these feelings may be symptomatic of the relationship I was in; maybe I wasn’t feeling stimulated because the relationship wasn’t good enough to stimulate me. Yet another part of me thought every single relationship would turn out this way (which is a problem in itself, because it indicates I put “finding a partner” on a pedestal and was neglecting the health of my internal world). These fears are significant factors in “What’s It Like?” The impetus to write began with me scrolling through Facebook, looking at photos of couples on their various summer trips, ostensibly happier than I had been in a long time. I wanted to ask these people, “what’s your secret?” or, “what’s it like to be that happy all the time?” And so it began.

Despite what an inattentive audience might initially think (this piece has been called “depressing” – even labeled “dark pop” – by some of my peers), “What’s It Like?” is actually built on a theme of hopeful defiance. Despite my emotionally heavy questions that will never be answered in a satisfactory manner, “I am quite alright… One day, I’ll get it right, / But, for now, I’ll hold on tight.” “What’s It Like?” is about acceptance of the lows and faith in oneself that you’ll come out on top eventually. In the final chorus, I make the realization that the perfection I see in other people is just smoke and mirrors: “Everyone, hold on tight. / It’s all going to be alright. / I promise it’ll be alright.” We are all in the same boat and need reciprocal love and support.

The album recording of “What’s It Like?” is built on a single, simultaneous take of both guitar and vocals, recorded backstage in the Roy Barnett Recital Hall of UBC in 2015. Because there is clear bleed in both the vocal track and guitar track, it was incredibly difficult to do much meaningful editing on either source without introducing notable artifacts. Though I added a number of vocal overdubs and the underlying pad, the main vocal and guitar remain relatively untouched, which ultimately led to what could be considered “squandered potential” on both fronts.

BUT TUHSWUHTUHMUS! WHY WOULDN’T YOU JUST RECORD THEM SEPARATELY?! Back in 2014 and early 2015, I had incredible difficulty recording these particular vocals separately from the guitar and actually have it sound good. I feel part of the reason is that there is an intensity in my voice when I sing and play simultaneously that just isn’t there when I sing separate takes. Secondly, my vocal intonation straight up sucked (more than usual) against a recording of just the guitar. After months of trying, I decided to just say, “f*** it, this is literally the only way I can get a passable recording of this piece.” I felt an enormous pressure to get “What’s It Like?” on Honeymoon because it was – and still is – obvious to me that, to an audience, it is one of the most “poppy,” accessible and engaging pieces in my oeuvre. I was therefore going to jump through any hoops necessary to release the piece.

I don’t remember exactly when I decided to include the foley-pad in “What’s It Like,” but I recall 2014 and 2015 being a time period in which I became privy to a handful of techniques used to make a chorus jump out at a listener. Based on my experiences and opinions, the best choruses tend to be held up by pads prolonging the tonic or a progression of the most harmonically relevant notes. The pads don’t need to be in the listener’s face, but they’re usually there to fill the space. Again, it was clear to me and to others that “What’s It Like” had incredible potential, so I wanted to try anything to make it hit hard.

The spring of 2015 saw me give a presentation to my “History of Music Since 1900” class about the work of my close friend Kjel Sidloski. His album, Ad viger, had fascinated me due to its ability to move in and out of a multitude of styles without ever feeling incoherent (an impressive balancing act at a time when some people still put pieces and artists in little boxes and create personal expectations based on those boxes). Part of my presentation’s thesis was that Kjel is able to create cohesion across Ad viger by making the album gapless and using foley as a bridging mechanism between each piece. Ad viger presents a world to its audience; a world I dive deeply into with every listen. This immersive quality is an aspect I desired for Honeymoon, so I began collecting my own field recordings to act as gaps and help coalesce the project.

Some time down the road, I managed to get an audio recording of my friends Ava, Taylor and Laura conversing in a taxi following a particularly heavy night out. While the content of this conversation will remain confidential, I found it intense enough to find a place at the back end of Honeymoon – but not, as we can hear, as a gap. While tinkering with the audio file, I created a pad by applying a mixture of reverbs, EQ and auto-tune. “What’s It Like?” has been taken to the next level by this pad, and I’m fairly proud of the fact that it’s not some b***s*** midi string section or synth; the pad is unique to “What’s It Like” (and “Sunrise,” for that matter), as well as to me as an artist.

The addition of the floor tom only made sense; it compliments the growing intensity of the piece and highlights the rhythmic syncopation of the harmonic progression. I feel as though the idea was in my head from the get-go, but my desire to add percussion was clear by September of 2014.

(Regarding the Remaster) I did try to retake the vocals for “What’s It Like?” prior to releasing the Honeymoon remaster on iTunes. However, while my pitch accuracy was notably better in some spots, my delivery was sterile. In all honesty, I just don’t sing “What’s It Like?” quite the same way anymore, even with a guitar; my performance no longer has such gritty, pleading intensity. Once in a blue moon, I can recapture that grit and retain good intonation, but, for now, a consistent balance eludes me.

I was tearing myself up about these vocals until I read a Facebook status posted by my friend Heather Gunn. In this status, she says:

“Because of how rooted our culture is in capitalism and consumerism, people think they can't make music if the music they make wouldn't be ‘worth buying’… if there's one other thing I can say for sure, it's that making music makes people happy… since I'm someone who ‘does music’, I hold myself to pretty ridiculous standards - I can't let anyone hear me if I'm less than perfect, I can't make any music if it's not ‘worth buying’. Anyway. I want to change that way of thinking” (15 March 2016)

Funnily enough, I had this very same struggle with “What’s It Like?” upon Honeymoon’s initial release eight months earlier. It took hearing the perspective of others to sit back and say, “no, this is the most honest version of the piece. I am willing to accept an imperfection or two if it means retaining emotional integrity.” Here I am again – same song, same struggle. However, Heather’s status came at the perfect time. Once again, I was able to say, “no, this is the song’s pure essence, and this is what I need it to be.” I am a perfectionist elsewhere on Honeymoon, but I savor the fact that I am mentally and emotionally capable of letting go for a few moments here and there. I feel this approach gives the Honeymoon recordings realism and personality, thereby setting them apart – even in the tiniest capacity – from their pop contemporaries. Furthermore, I just remain a little saner, as opposed to obsessing over cent deviations in pitch and rubati that shift the rhythm by less than an eighth of a second.

Don’t mistake what I’m saying here for the same complacency that led to me sucking as a songwriter in mid-2014 (see “Honeymoon Notes | Canadian Summer”). I still hold myself to a high standard, much like Heather. However, as with Heather, I am beginning to see where to draw the line between just enough and too much.

Namaste

- t s w t m s

#tswtms #The Sunlit Woods the Moonlit Sea #Honeymoon #What's It Like?

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c-ornflowertea · 5 years

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BTS WORLD: A Game Built on a Community

I had been listening to a lot of stories from my brother about the different game communities he has had the pleasure (?) of joining around the time I was researching for this blog. For example, a few years ago, he had played Pokémon competitively both online and offline. His days back then were spent on grinding for good Pokémon stats and natures (did anyone actually understand that back when they played Pokémon as a kid? Like that is seriously a thing?), craftily building mono-type parties to become a community’s Gym Leader, and he even opened a quite reputable Pokémon trade shop to support his eagerness to play in the competitive scene. Compared to the times when he played Pokémon for fun or modded the MissingNo.’s out of the Pokémon Emerald ROM, he had a completely different experience playing the very same game.

At some point, he went on a tangent about another Nintendo franchise, the Super Smash Bros. series. He noted that the game was never really intended to be a part of any competitive scene; the idea was to make a party game, “that was more party than Mario Party.” However, when Super Smash Bros. Melee came out, players saw the opportunity to take the game to another level and created the esports scene around it today. The developers seemed to still be keen on their original direction with their release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl. The game stripped away the more competitive mechanics such as the Wave Dash, guiding players to experience the game within simpler mechanics. The reception around the third installment became mixed; at this point, the competitive scene brewed a specialized community who were primarily invested in fast-paced competitive play. The new game suited players who were more casual and the fact that it was released along with the Wii made it a potential entry point for players new to gaming as well. Super Smash Bros. Brawl simply did not fulfill existing fans’ expectations. Still, the game brought in new fans and expanded the fanbase, albeit having segregation between those who liked Melee (a.k.a. competitive players) and those who liked Brawl (a.k.a. casual players) (Scott The Woz 2018). Future iterations of the game try to strike a balance between these two scenes in the community but still tries to stay true to the developers’ initial vision of an accessible party game.

Through both Pokémon and the Super Smash Bros. series, we can see how a game community influences gameplay experience. Pokémon’s simple premise attracts many children who have just started playing games, but its depth in mechanics allows for more complex gameplay. Depending on who players interact with and how they interact, the community can gear a player towards one playstyle or another, shaping their experience into many forms. On the other hand, the community Super Smash Bros. built up in one installment sets up players’ expectations of their experience. As a result, instead of putting forward initial intentions, developers must also be aware of what fans are attracted to—why do they play the game in the first place—in order to tap into an existing fanbase. It shifts the perspective of why developers make games from creating a game of their dreams into constructing a game that people will play.

This leads to the question of whether or not a developer should stay true to their intentions. Developers want their games to be played a specific way because they want their players to experience specific things, so wouldn’t community input ruin the game itself? Depending on what the game is and what are the intentions of those behind the game, it can make or break a player’s experience. So, following that train of thought, what if, instead of developing a game based on a developer’s personal vision, a game is developed based around a community that isn’t necessarily related to games? What would it be like, what would it take, and why would it be a good idea?

The most obvious reason to create such a game would, of course, be money. There is a community that is already invested in something, and to incorporate that something into other mediums is more or less the 101 of selling more using fewer resources. In a reversed setting, it would be akin to games selling merchandise of their franchise in order to gain more income. The game’s story, characters, and its impression is already deep-rooted in players’ minds. Selling merchandise evokes these impressions without actually having to deliver the actual experience. Utilizing existing properties as a base for a game is, essentially, the same thing.

Another probable reason to develop a community-based game would be to expand a brand. As many have argued, the value of games lies in their ability to create an experience. Having players connect with a brand through a unique experience further develops the brand identity and potentially, a player’s loyalty towards the brand. The brand can introduce new ideas they would like to associate themselves with, but these ideas are also developed through player interaction and interpretation of their experience.

I believe that BTS WORLD is a product of the culmination of these reasons.

The game was released on June 26, 2019, and have since tapped into many channels of BTS fans. As a group that has been operating for more than six years, their fans vary in age, race, gender, interests, and most of all, opinions regarding the band themselves. To be able to cater to a majority of the fanbase requires a product that not only showcases the group’s familiar branding but also integrates a unified idea that represents the group as a whole. The group does not originally represent a body of experienced players so mechanics needed to be relatively simple, but it has to have enough challenge, variety, and depth in order to sell itself as a justified part of the brand rather than merely a shameless cash-grab. Fans’ behaviors would also need to be thoroughly investigated in order to deliver a compelling experience. Any one-note gone wrong and the whole game would be under fire—just like with Super Smash Bros., the community has expectations and they expect developers to deliver (because, y’know, they kinda have the money). The game did actually receive strong criticism for their lack of gender-neutral pronouns, although it was more of a fault on the localization team’s side than the original writers, and was later fixed in an update patch. Being able to monitor community response and adapt accordingly is perhaps one of the reasons that the game launched so successfully as well.

So with that said, how did the developers manifest the community’s investment towards BTS into the game? First of all, they incorporated many of the concepts fans associate with BTS. In the game’s narrative, the player becomes BTS’s manager before their debut, progressing through the chapters with hopes of bringing the group together and helping them to perform under a spotlight for the first time. The experience is very reminiscent of the relationship between BTS and their fans: in many ways, their following had presented them with the many opportunities they have today. The narrative may seem like a superficial, fantastical romance delusional fans would eat up, but the game’s narrative goal keeps the player’s motivation in focus. Instead of pursuing a character in a game, the player is pushed to help BTS to achieve their dreams and become who they are today. Progressing through obstacles, both through narrative and gameplay mechanics becomes an expression of experiencing moments together, which is another concept BTS emphasizes to their fans.

BTS also invested a lot of their primary source of income—as in music and performance—into the game, tying it back to their prevalent branding. OSTs, cut scenes, and even the promotional MV was created with a polish no half-hearted work could have. They brought in collaborators for some of the songs and added references to theories about their MVs’ lore, showing that the game is an extension of their craft, which fans already adore. Seeing the developers put so much effort into the game motivates fans to appreciate the hard work and explore the content, trusting that they will be served with a familiar enjoyment they experience through BTS’s pre-existing works.

And then there is the “Another Story” section to the game; a side-story collection featuring individual members of the group. It can be said that the whole section is a quality recreation of fan fiction (which is probably where most of its appeal comes from), but developers also made sure to include themes of personal growth that BTS is known for in each storyline. In that sense, even though players are given the opportunity to experience a closer relationship with each member, they are also reminded that the player’s support through the narrative is pretty much what they have been doing as fans: giving support and helping the group’s members progress through their lives. Being able to relive the same experiences through the side-story helps to tie the game’s different narratives together.

In terms of gameplay, their solution to the whole ordeal was to use trading card gacha mechanics. Simple, keep people invested even through loses because it’s a game of chance, and could easily be assimilated with BTS’s visual identity. Player progression is not necessarily locked to these mechanics, but securing better gacha items helps players progress quickly and obtain lucrative bonuses. I personally think that this system is very familiar to BTS fans who play a violent game of chance to get tickets, buy multiple different versions of their albums to complete their photocard collection, and spend a hefty amount to obtain an object representing the member they connect the most to. The developers basically migrated that system into a virtual game space to structure their potential cash flow.

True to their visual novel style, there are also affinity meters players can fill by interacting with the characters through texts and social media, as well as choosing dialogue that would appeal to each individual member. Although in all honesty, I have not found a single reason that makes the affinity meter have as much of a significance towards the narrative as they stereotypically would (more cut scenes, story progression, etc.) aside from unlocking side-story chapters. I suppose that can be attributed to the fact that it gives a reason for the fans to focus on the main narrative, arguably the experiences that are most relevant to them.

Classic energy-based mechanics are also implemented to encourage (or maybe even force) short bursts of play over a long period of time over hours and hours of short-term play. I personally swore off this type of mechanics for a long time, but I found myself working around it because of one, I am interested in the content, and two, limited energy (or wings, as they are called in-game) isn’t the only resource preventing player progression. After I’ve spent all my wings in one sitting, I could level up cards, increase stat bonuses, or gacha my in-game money away to ensure my progress the next time I can play wings-restricted content. Instead of feeling like I had to wait hours to do barely anything, waiting resembles the feeling of discerning the perfect timing to seize the day. It took me some time to realize this but the gameplay structure fits the narrative of waiting for the perfect chance to debut: working, progressing, and having off-times to rest and recover, patiently anticipating the arrival of the day. Perhaps because of its simpler mechanics, some fans even choose to lay out a spreadsheet and calculate the most optimal way to play the game, further enhancing the game of chance into a more elaborate strategic play.

What is interesting about the game is that it gives players enough wings to progress through the first chapter seamlessly. This gives players the starting satisfaction of the narrative and BTS-related content the game boasts of while providing enough motivation for the players to strive for the end goal. In the middle of a torturous grind to complete their launch event, I found myself repeatedly thinking that I’ve come so far and there is no way that I could (read: would) stop now, finally realizing that they’ve got me hook, line and sinker. Using BTS as the bait as well as the end goal, somehow everything in-between can be tied to a journey necessary to develop one’s soul.

Lastly, and by far an observation I am most keen on seeing through, is how the game’s narrative, design, and mechanics can appeal to the many types of BTS fans. Those who casually enjoy BTS’s music might be attracted to the OSTs and sound design, and those attracted to their visual branding will find exclusive new content by progressing through the game. I have seen a fair share of players who claim that they play the game so they can draw visually stunning four-star cards instead of actually progressing through the game, which funnily enough, looked like they were faring better than players who were more invested in the gameplay. There are also fans who could relate to the more personal side-stories, earning an emotional investment separate from the group’s debut story. The side-stories developed on the idea of who they were and who they could be, but essentially adding another layer of depth to the fans’ understanding of the members’ characters and personalities. As I’ve said above, it wouldn’t be strange to see players who go above and beyond to play the game as efficiently as possible either, calculating all their moves to not let one resource go to waste. And, even to those who doubt the narrative of the game and worry that it is a way for fans to step outside of their boundaries and affirm delusional fantasies that should not be encouraged, can see that those ideas are not at the core of the game. Despite the title of “Manager” and chances to interact more with the members’ virtual persona, the game is, as a whole, created for their fans, and arguably, because of their fans. Each fan’s way of interpreting the narrative and progressing through the game is as valid of an experience as any other. In a way, even though the game was created through the representation of a brand and the community surrounding it, the experience of playing through the game is personal to each player. And that, I believe, is why and how a game developed based on an existing community can work to a developer’s interests.

In conclusion, there are countless ways in which a game community can influence a developer’s vision of a game. Players invested in a specific style of game and play may contribute to the developers’ and other players’ decisions and alter a game’s experience. Sometimes, this may be detrimental as the development of the game becomes a fight of balance between intentions and what will essentially sell. However, if taken advantage of, such in the case of BTS WORLD, the game opens up to the possibilities of an alternate stream of income and development of brand identity in exchange for the community’s investment. Even though the community is not primarily based around gaming, the narrative, design, and mechanics all contribute to unique yet familiar experience fans would not be able to obtain otherwise—the perfect merchandise for their ever-growing brand and fans.

References RandomTens 2014, Is Melee Better Than Brawl? - A Super Smash Bros. Love Story, Youtube, 6 February, viewed 13 July 2019, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhHTF3_pON8>. Scott The Woz 2018, Super Smash Bros. Brawl | The Worst One, Apparently - Scott The Woz, Youtube, 29 July, viewed 13 July 2019, <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhRx-FHiIvc>.

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The 50 Best Albums Of 2018

Uproxx Studios

In some ways, 2018 felt like the hardest year for music in a long time. There was huge loss — rising stars like Lil Peep, XXXtentacion, and Mac Miller all died way too young and, tragically, from drugs and violence, echoing the darkest moments of our culture on a national scale. Mistakes were made, transgressions came to light, plenty of people were dragged, roasted, and mercilessly mocked online, just for, well, trying to get through the year. That’s where the music comes in, though.

No matter how dreary and depressing things seemed to get this year, an outpouring of undeniable, unstoppable, and downright incredible music just kept rushing through the gates, carrying us all along on the power of a song, or the comfort of an album. In the spirit of music as medicine, here are the 50 albums that helped carry Uproxx Music staffers along in a harrowing year. It feels like creativity was high enough this year that 50 more could easily be on this list, too, but these are the cream of the crop, the best of the best, and the ones that made the final cut.

50. Mac Miller, Swimming

Warner Bros Records

It’s a damn, crying, awful shame that Mac Miller wouldn’t see the outpouring of love and affirmation he’s received in the wake of his death — almost as much as it is one that all that love seemed to have been reserved for his passing and not the album he left behind. Swimming, simply put, was Mac’s best work. It’s his lightest since KIDS, unweighted by the the melancholy he experienced as his career took off and left him feeling more and more isolated. It’s the most musically adventurous since, yes, his last album, The Divine Feminine, without the baggage attached to the nagging questions of inspiration that album brought with it.

Swimming is Mac, for lack of a better term, in the flow of things. He hadn’t figured everything out yet, but he had figured it that he didn’t have to. Assembling a squad of producers and musicians with Dev Hynes, DJ Dahi, Flying Lotus, and Thundercat, Mac laid down lush, luxurious soundbeds for his rambling, stream-of-consciousness raps to wind and wrap around and through on tracks like “Self Care,” “Ladders,” and “Conversation, Pt. 1.” With all that, the true tragedy of the loss of Mac Miller, however cliche it may sound, is that he was just getting started — and getting better all the time.–Aaron Williams

49. Tirzah, Devotion

Domino Records

Tirzah’s Devotion is “a slurry meditation on love and loneliness, as moody as wallpaper in Twin Peaks.” The genre-bending album expertly fuses R&B and electronic beats overlaid by Tirzah’s piercing lyrics, and culminates into a melancholic tracklist of musings on love, both wholesome and wretched. The record is produced by longtime collaborator Mica Levi, and the two make an inimitable match, as its tottering instrumentalism provides a flawless backdrop for Tirzah’s songwriting. It’s obvious that she’s the patron saint of earnestness and unwavering loyalty, even when it’s unreciprocated – especially when it’s unreciprocated – and that rarity instantly makes Devotion a treasure.–Leah Lu

48. Kyle, Light Of Mine

Independently Popular/Atlantic Records

On his cheerful major label debut album, Kyle is happily stuck somewhere in the middle between the awkward nerd and the suave rake, figuring out which aspects of each identity suit him best, and determining to use his own struggle as a beacon to anyone else who feels the same way. Maybe that’s why he borrowed the album title, Light Of Mine, from the folk gospel song that encourages its adherents to do just that — shine for the world, regardless of imperfection, in the hopes of leading the way to a brighter tomorrow.

That theme of “it all gets better” is easy to knock, but Kyle lives for that sort of thing. When he sings, “2016 hit me like a bag of bricks / 2017 switched up like ‘Ooh, it’s lit,” there’s probably not a soul on earth who can’t relate from at least some point in their lives. He sings about fumbling your way through love on “Playinwitme” and “Babies,” swerving between soaring confidence and optimism on “To The Moon” and shaky insecurity on “ShipTrip” and “iMissMe.” And in these moments, it’s one of the most honest and uplifting rap albums of the year. Kyle puts it all on the line: Who he was, who he is, and who he’s hoping we can all eventually be.–A.W.

47. Dilly Dally, Heaven

Partisan Records

Ever since Toronto stoner-punks Dilly Dally burst onto the scene in 2015 with the seething, screeching vocals of frontwoman Katie Monks on their debut album Sore, they’ve been turning heads in the rock world. The contrast between Monks’ inescapable wailing and guitarist Liz Ball’s classic guitar riffs made them a welcome addition to a still-thriving pocket of rock devotees and fans. But it was only recently that it became clear just how challenging the four-piece found touring to be.

In our profile on the band, Monks admitted there was a point where it looked like Sore was going to be their sole album. The grind of being a unit, of creating together, of living on the road — all of that took its toll. Fortunately for everyone involved, they got the band back together, and created the stormy, discordant, and deeply satisfying Heaven, a follow-up that is indeed fit for the pearly gates themselves. Full of catharsis, pain, joy, and blissed out, edge-of-existence guitar work, Heaven is a record that both raises their profile, and stands as a testament of how impactful battling to stay together against the odds can be.–Caitlin White

46. Kamasi Washington, Heaven And Earth

Young Turks

There’s a limited amount of bandwidth afforded to contemporary jazz music in the indie landscape, so it’s really saying something that Kamasi Washington has managed to stand out as one of the modern jazzmen that mainstream music fans pay attention to (although his association with Kendrick Lamar certainly helps). This doesn’t mean that the Los Angeles saxophonist is making music that’s inherently accessible: Jazz is often hard to approach as a casual fan, but Washington holds the door open for everybody with some grooves you can bob your head to and solos you can appreciate. Beyond that, though, there’s an absolute ton going on. To the jazz-ignorant (such as myself, admittedly), the genre can often come across as aimless or meandering, but on Heaven And Earth, it never feels like Washington is wasting time, or like he’s moving without purpose. Every sound is directed in a forward-facing motion, in all the myriad moods, emotions, and ideas he explores on his immense sophomore album.–Derrick Rossignol

45. Metric, Art Of Doubt

MMI/Crystal Math Music

Emily Haines has been in the business of misery for over twenty years, carefully sharpening all her personal gloom into sheer, searing rock songs that cut to the quick like no other — in large part, because they’re coming from a woman. The longevity of her band, Metric, hasn’t halted the Canadian rock quartet from undergoing a kind of metamorphosis on nearly ever album, and their latest, Art Of Doubt, is no different. This record restores Metric to their early glory, rivaling their 2009 hit record Fantasies in scope and accessibility; it’s a collection of songs about power, loss of control, grief, agony, and restoration.

And Haines’ crystalline alto never warps under the pressure of these intensive emotions, twisting instead, into something wise and fierce as the record unfolds. The group cites moving band member James Shaw out of his role as de facto producer and bringing in Justin Meldal-Johnsen for production duties as a major shift that helped restore melodic synergy, and that’s apparent all over the album. It holds together exactly like a record should, not a trace of doubt, even when the lyrics question everything on the planet — including the misery they contain. —C.W.

44. Interpol, Marauders

Matador Records

For 16 years, we’ve all known what to expect from Interpol, and the band’s latest album Marauder doesn’t radically diverge from that template. They’re still writing dark-hued post-punk songs with sneaky-funny absurdist lyrics. They’re still running at either a fast mid-tempo or a slow mid-tempo. They still wear incredible suits. But what’s impressive this time around is how much fun these guys — still a trio, because why bother replacing Carlos D? — still seem to have at finding new ways to explore the surprisingly resplendent contours of mopey goth-dude pop-rock.

This is, in a sense, a back-to-basics record: While Interpol is known for making pristine-sounding albums at a deliberate pace, Marauder was recorded live to tape, capturing the band at its rawest and sweatiest. (Relatively speaking, of course — those suits remain immaculate.) This feistiness provides a welcome edge to the ringing guitar and monotone vocals that are endemic to Interpol songs, underscoring the secret to the band’s enduring success — their vibrant, in-concert energy. Oh, and Marauder wouldn’t be a standout late-period Interpol album without some off-the-wall (and highly quotable) lyrics. (From “Party’s Over”: “Rock n’ roll b*tch I’m into it / I like to show you my stuff / Baby cheetahs the Himalayas / What’s got you startled umbilical.”)–Steven Hyden

43. Drake, Scorpion

Republic Records

I don’t know if “Drake fatigue” is a real thing, especially given the enduring, inescapable catchiness of “In My Feelings,” with its accompanying viral dance challenge and hilariously convoluted conspiracy theories. And, I might be a little more optimistic on that front than most, seeing subtle hints of creative growth on his mega-sized double album, Scorpion. After all, his empowerment anthems like “Nice For What” and “God’s Plan” were accompanied by suitably reflective, uplifting music videos courtesy of rookie video director Karena Evans. He spoke to his son on the introspective “March 14,” which turned out to be as personal a risk as creative. And in the album’s lighter moments, he seemed like he might finally be enjoying the trappings of fame, shedding the “suffering from success” demeanor of his Take Care album cover. Scorpion had some of the biggest moments of Drake’s career, and after a decade in the game — and almost half that time at the top — it’s impressive to think that, like the fine wines he’s so enamored with drinking, he’s still getting better with age.–A.W.

42. Charlie Puth, Voicenotes

Atlantic Records

Has anyone pulled off as epic of a rebranding in 2018 as Charlie Puth? Prior to this year, the “See You Again” singer made headlines for the ridiculous quotes he gave journalists (“I’m hungies!”) and his romantic exploits (Bella Thorne and Selena Gomez, though Selena tells a different story). But this year, Puth proved he’s “hungies” for more than just tabloid attention.

Voicenotes is a runaway critical smash. From the synths on “LA Girls” to the snaking bassline of “Attention,” every song on the album is immaculately crafted. Though Puth dips in and out of about a million genres — he has features from Boyz II Men and James Taylor, another “See You Again”-style weepie, and some yacht rock bangers — the album is also cohesive as a whole. Listening to Voicenotes, you get the impression that Puth is more confident than ever in who he is as an artist. For anyone who is still too distracted by Puth’s public image to open yourself up to his earworm bops, the man has some words for you: “You could either hate me or love me / But that’s just the way I am.”–Chloe Gilke

41. Lucy Dacus, Historian

Matador Records

The first time I heard the title track on Lucy Dacus’ Historian, I remember thinking lovingly about one of my closest friends, and then thinking about how lucky I felt to have someone in my life that came immediately to mind. “I’ll be your historian and you’ll be mine,” Dacus sings, over crescendoing synths. “And I’ll fill pages of scribbled ink, hoping the words carry meaning.”

Historian has been out since March, which feels like a number of eternities ago, but each song still rings just as poignant. Dacus doesn’t spend much time here pining over fleeting romances, perhaps because she knows that she doesn’t have much time to spend at all. Listening through the album feels like flipping through Dacus’ old journals, witnessing her experience moments of extreme rage to utter triumph to cutting pain. The record reminds us that really, all we have are our memories and what we make of them, and so we might as well write our own histories.–Leah Lu

40. Post Malone, Beerbongs And Bentleys

Republic Records

Post Malone’s Beerbongs And Bentleys is the Texas artist follow-up album to his No. 1 debut Stoney, and at the time of his new album’s release, his first record was still on the Billboard charts. Knowing this, it should come as no surprise that his second album entered the Billboard 200 at No. 1, broke streaming records, and garnered over 40 million US streams on Spotify within 24 hours. The double-platinum sophomore album from Posty is also home to his first No. 1 song, “Rockstar” featuring 21 Savage, followed up by his next No. 1, “Psycho,” featuring Grammy Award-winning recording artist Ty Dolla Sign.

Beerbongs And Bentleys is mostly carried by prominent features and A-1 production from Post Malone himself, Tank God, PartyNextDoor and London On Da Track. Although Post insists on separating his sound from hip-hop, it’s his adoption of the infectious trap-style triplet flow and harmonizing that makes the record worthy of repeat listens. And on his solo tracks — “Over” and “Stay” — he flexes impressive guitar playing skills. Filled with 18 spacey-sounding songs, Beerbongs And Bentleys thrives off fan popularity and doesn’t miss a beat.–Cherise Johnson

39. Mitski, Be The Cowboy

Dead Oceans

No one sings of devotion quite like Mitski Miyawaki. On Be The Cowboy, Mitski’s iconic and woozy fifth record, that devotion isn’t quite pointed at any one thing in particular. She’s not asking for much at all; even some mild lip-action will do. “Somebody kiss me, I’m going crazy,” she laments on “Blue Light.”

There’s no way to deny the loneliness that permeates Mitski’s songwriting on the 14-track slate, but she’s not exposing it with the intent of seeking sympathy – “I don’t want your pity,” she says outright on “Nobody,” arguably Be The Cowboy’s danciest and most pathetically relatable anthem. Instead, she’s purging it so that she can turn precisely into the thing she feels like she’s lonesome for — it’s what the album’s name implies, after all. In an interview with NPR earlier this year, Mitski attributed the record’s title to an old college friend she admired for the electric “cowboy swagger” he’d exude onstage: “Well, then if I wanna see it live then I should just be that cowboy, I should just be the thing that I admire.” On this album, she exudes enough swagger for all us wanna-be cowboys, and then some.–L.L.

38. Lykke Li, So Sad So Sexy

RCA Records

Lykke Li’s most defining characteristic is her unpredictability. Following a debut album that carried a hue of youthful innocence, her follow-up record found her declaring herself a prostitute on “Get Some.” Then for I Never Learn, a moment that seemed ripe for her ascending to the pop throne instead manifested itself as a Phil Spector-influenced record of weepy torch songs, a breakup album to rule over all other breakup albums. The only thing that felt expected about this year’s So Sad So Sexy was really the title, which got to the very core of what Lykke Li represents.

Well, actually that’s only half true. The other throughline you can draw in the work of Lykke Li is the continuous high quality. In 2018, it’s a little more hip-hop and trap influenced, a little smokier and distant, a little more weathered from past heartbreaks. It’s also her first album since becoming a mother, which manifests in the open-hearted anthem, “Utopia.” But be it in the gut-wrenching despair of “Last Piece” or the Aminé-featuring betrayal of “Two Nights,” So Sad So Sexy is another captivating chapter from a pop music chameleon who has found success down every dark alley she’s searched.–Philip Cosores

37. Foxing, Nearer My God

Triple Crown Records

This St. Louis emo band’s breakout album, Nearer My God,- doesn’t play by the rules of normal indie records, where humility is valued and wanton displays of ambition and artistic audaciousness are discouraged. In interviews, the band members talked openly about wanting to make their version of OK Computer, a grand statement that goes down in modern music history. While Nearer My God doesn’t quite hit that wildly elevated mark, it is one of the most satisfyingly “epic” indie releases of recent years, taking Foxing’s guitar-based songs and blowing them out with electro-R&B swagger.

While Foxing is primarily known in the underground punk scene for their energetic, near-messianic live shows, Nearer My God was the product of almost two years of studio experimentation, in which songs were put together, taken apart, and then reassembled (and then often taken apart and reassembled several more times). This resulted in thoroughly unexpected stylistic diversions like “Heartbeats,” which sounds more like M83 than The Hotelier, and the luminous “Grand Paradise,” in which punk guitars provide spiky counterpoint to Conor Murphy’s delicate falsetto. (Frank Ocean’s Blonde was a pivotal influence on Foxing during the making of Nearer My God.) In the end, it still sounds like rock music, but the wonder of Nearer My God is seeing Foxing expand the definition of rock to suit its own idiosyncratic purposes.–S.H.

36. The Carters, Everything Is Love

Roc Nation/Parkwood Entertainment

Jay-Z and Beyonce as The Carters presented their surprise album Everything Is Love as the ultimate ode to Black love and partnership. It’s not rare to hear Jigga rap about Black Excellence and championing the idea of keeping money within the community, and on Everything Is Love, Jay takes Bey along for the ride as she offers her impeccable Houston swagger and vocals echoing those same sentiments.

Everything is put on the table as they not only address personal struggles on the album — and that infamous elevator incident — they sing and rap about how they got through the good times and bad. “Summer” is the album’s jazzy, smooth introductory track heralding the notion of affection and appreciation between the married couple. The album’s lead single, “Apesh*t,” is quite the opposite — a hard-hitting, boastful trap song featuring recognizable inflections and ad-libs from Migos’ Quavo, who happened to help to write the Mike Will Made-It-produced song. As a couple, they initiate the “Apesh*t” with demands of getting their respect. Jay himself commands to be paid in equity for his art and brags about denying requests to perform at the Super Bowl. Everything Is Love‘s other tracks such as “Boss,” “713,” and “Friends,” continue to tell The Carters’ story as they want to tell it — through great production and catchy hooks. This is what love and war sounds like.–C.J.

35. Wild Pink, Yolk In The Fur

Tiny Engines

“I just really wanted to make something bigger in scope,” Wild Pink’s John Ross previously told Uproxx. “I think that obviously, ’70s rock is the heyday of rock and those records are enormous […] making more interesting textures and sound palettes or whatever, that’s becoming way more important to me.” There’s no questioning that Ross achieved a sizable sound on his newest Wild Pink record. The album opens with “Burger Hill,” a meditative track that keeps things tranquil and sets the stage for “Lake Erie,” a song that quickly blooms into a vintage-sounding, alt-country- and heartland rock-influenced atmosphere that seems as big as the titular body of water. It’s a challenge to sound classic without coming across as overly nostalgic, but that’s what Yolk In The Fur achieves: It borrows from a different time but is also timeless. It’s a breath of uncommonly fresh air that has ultimately established Wild Pink as not only a band on the rise, but an indie group that already has a damn fine record in its arsenal.–D.R.

34. Leon Bridges, Good Thing

Columbia Records

Leon Bridges‘ 2015 debut Coming Home was a stellar slice of reflective, throwback soul, like Sam Cooke preserved in amber and revived by the scientists from Jurassic Park. But, it also ran the risk of potentially pigeonholing the soulful Texan crooner. Fortunately, he took enough time off to live and evolve as an artist before returning, opening up his palette of styles and genres for his follow up, Good Thing, a transformative neo-soul masterpiece that more than lives up to its title.

Rather than sticking to the blueprint of husky, pioneering singers like Cooke and becoming nothing more than a gifted imitator, Leon steps into his own as a visionary innovator, incorporating blues country (“Beyond,” “Mrs.”), hip-hop (“Shy”), and even disco (“If It Feels Good”) to stretch and expand the definition of the spaces his smoky vocals can fill up. Bridges makes the transition from eye-and-ear-catching novelty to bonafide pop star, delivering “Bad Bad News” and assuring the listener that the “Bet Ain’t Worth The Hand” on head-nodding, toe-tapping bops and transcendent ballads. Good Thing is warm and comforting like home cooking, but it’s also worldly and expansive, building on the foundations laid by Coming Home to show that Leon is capable of great things as he grows as an artist and as a man.–A.W.

33. Snail Mail, Lush

Matador Records

Snail Mail’s debut album Lush graced us right at the beginning of a muggy, thick-with-desire, slow burn of a summer. “I’m so tired of moving on / spending every weekend so far gone,” Lindsey Jordan snarls on “Heat Wave,” a track saturated with angst and bare-bones longing. “Heat wave, nothing to do / Woke up in my clothes having dreamt of you.” Then the shredding guitar kicks in, signaling a descent into the level of infatuation where we finally, maybe somewhat pathetically, admit that we’re in deep. Jordan is only 19, but her songwriting has the type of brash wittiness that captures what it feels like to have a crush at any age. Jordan has gripping control over her voice and instrumentalism (she’s taken guitar lessons from Mary Timony of Helium), but she’s also got a stabilizing, tight-lipped charge over her emotions — Lush showcases a pristine, youthful handling of heartbreak, hiding close to nothing.–L.L.

32. Phosphorescent, C’est La Vie

Dead Oceans

After a five year hiatus from releasing new music, plenty of artists struggle to get back into the groove. Yet, on C’est La Vie, Matthew Houck and his revolving cast of musicians seem to have settled deeper into their preferred patterns as Phosphorescent than ever before. In the past half decade, Houck, along with his fellow band member and now-wife, Jo Schornikow, moved to Nashville and welcomed two children into their family, so there are plenty of songs filled with love and tenderness on the record.

But, there are also far-reaching tracks about the impact of time and age on a person (“C’est La Vie No. 2”), meditations on travel and foreign countries (“Christmas Down Under”), celebratory jingles that slyly, playfully embrace the trappings of fame (“New Birth In New England”), and a backward-glancing slow burners that reflect on just how quickly and easily things can change. And despite the time that’s passed, or how much things may have changed in his personal life, Houck and his band are still creating some of the most inventive and intelligent gossamer psych-folk that can be found anywhere in the world. While everyone else is concerned with measuring the change, this is a record that is content to sit and let it come, wave upon wave.–C.W.

31. Cat Power, Wanderer

Domino Records

When Chan Marshall, the mercurial songwriter who has delivered a number of indie classics as Cat Power, delivered her latest album to Matador Records, the story goes that there was some dispute about what it should sound like. “They said, do it again, do it over,” she told The New York Times, saying that the label was looking for hits and wanting her to sound more like Adele. It’s a baffling bit of feedback for anyone familiar with Cat Power, knowing that arena-level pop stardom was never in the cards, and it resulted in her leaving the label that had been her home for almost her entire career.

But listening to Wanderer, it’s a godsend that Marshall stuck to her guns and made the album that she wanted. It has some particularly trademark moments, including a cover of Rihanna’s “Stay” that falls perfectly in line with a tradition of reworkings of ubiquitous classics that she is largely known for. And, on the album’s closest thing to a potential hit, “Woman,” Lana Del Rey pops up for backup vocals to showcase how far-reaching Marshall’s influence is. But tying the album together is the song “Horizon,” a meditative and gorgeous vision that somehow has elements evoking both Nick Cave and Travis Scott. It showcases Marshall’s ability to draw from the pop canon while maintaining a distinctly contemporary bent, something that will never translate to Adele-level notoriety, but has carved out a rewarding and always laudable career for Cat Power.–P.C.

30. Grouper, Grid Of Points

Kranky

As Grouper, Liz Harris has been able to create a world that dwells in the grey so many of us call home. Grid Of Points, her eleventh album, is as delicate as a stained glass window, and diffuses the light in a similar way, drawing in muted, elegiac tones that lend her music a sense of reverence. Though it is by no means religious, Grouper’s music is spiritual. Spiritual, in that it is concerned with the spirit; barely registering lyrics lilt above melodies that the listener feels deep inside their body, below the bones and skin, where the soul resides, maybe.

Working over the span of just a week and a half, Harris layered austere piano melodies and porous vocal harmonies across seven tracks, which take up just 22 minutes. Yet, the resulting sparse record still registers as one of the fullest, most complete expressions of the year. In a world of overstuffed, deluxe versions, bonus tracks, and remastered artifacts, Grid Of Points affirms the need for negative space, the need for brevity, the preciousness of simplicity. It is a record full of grey, unyielding light, and an argument that not all lightness need be bright.–C.W.

29. Amen Dunes, Freedom

Sacred Bones Records

With Freedom, Damon McMahon pivoted away from the freak folk of previous Amen Dunes records and toward a sound influenced, in his words, by “really, really good mainstream music,” including Nirvana, Oasis, Tom Petty, and Aphex Twin. Freedom doesn’t sound like any of those artists, exactly, though you can recognize a common impulse to connect with music that’s a little more visceral and immediate. Working with the guitarist Delicate Steve, McMahon builds anthemic songs out of insistent, wiry guitars and relentless, motorik beats. While McMahon’s gaze remains fixated on the stars, Freedom isn’t a dreamy or torpid — the songs are always moving toward rousing climaxes, especially on the album highlight “Believe,” which builds from a murmur to a wave of Delicate Steve’s Edge-like guitar arpeggios. Freedom overall is grounded in ’80s radio rock. (The guitar-driven coda for the title track sounds almost exactly like the riff from Bryan Adams’ “Run To You.”) But McMahon is able to evoke the populist power of that music without slavishly imitating it. The result is an album that seems to already reside in your subconscious even as you’re hearing it for the first time.–S.H.

28. Mick Jenkins, Pieces Of A Man

Free Nation/Cinematic Music Group

Manhood, especially manhood as defined by the narrow scope allotted to it by the established tenets of hip-hop culture and rap music, is a funny thing. It’s funny in its peculiarity and its complexity, tangled and pinned to old ideas and new in constant conversation with one another — or in conflict. Maybe that’s what makes Mick Jenkins’ 16-song exploration of manhood so densely layered and engaging. Pieces Of A Man is mazelike and challenging as Mick wrestles with the implications of being a man — a Black man, a young man, an enlightened man — in hip-hop and the wider world, which often holds its own expectations and restrictions for us to confront, defy, work within, and struggle against.

Mick co-opts poet Gwendolyn Brooks on the calmly surveying “Gwendolyn’s Apprehension,” contemplates image and perception on “Plain Clothes,” and weighs the implications of America’s current crisis of conscience regarding men’s role in women’s traumas on “Consensual Seduction.” Throughout, he remains wittily ambivalent, consciously and carefully turning over each issue with the lyrical deftness and depth prerequisite to tackle such weighty subjects. He may not come to many conclusions by the end of the album, but perhaps that’s the point. Manhood is ever evolving; the minute you think you have it all figured it out, you’ve already been left behind.–A.W.

27. Jon Hopkins, Singularity

Domino Records

The goal of a lot of music is to tell a story, and a song can get a message across without a single spoken phrase. “I kind of see the arc of all five of my albums telling a continuing story,” Jon Hopkins previously told Uproxx. “Obviously that makes more sense to me, because they tie in directly to my own experiences and my own kind of evolution, but I think each one to me is very much the next part of the story, whatever the story may be.” And that story is continued on Singularity, his best album to date.

Stories are told because they’re the way we can best communicate a series of events or a moral message through spoken language. But sometimes, thoughts and feelings are too abstract to put into words, and that’s where Hopkins’ instrumental soundscapes can have an advantage over lyrical music. The album-opening title track, for example, evokes a sense of adventure and beginning better than poetic musings could. Alison Krauss may as well have been talking about Hopkins’ control over aural environments when she sang, “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”–D.R.

26. Oneohtrix Point Never, Age Of

Warp Records

Oneohtrix Point Never, AKA Daniel Lopatin, already has a career’s worth of experimentation under his belt, and even though “experimental” and synonyms thereof are among the predominant words used when describing his sound, he really expanded upon that in significant ways on his latest, Age Of. For one, he decided to prominently feature his own vocals on the record, something he hasn’t really done before, and it works out well. A notable example is “Babylon,” which comes across like a lovelorn Drake song put through an Aphex Twin filter: It’s off-kilter, but ultimately defined by its emotional core.

Lopatin has also tended to base his records on a genre, mood, or idea as a springboard into his creative explorations, although it’s hard to pin down a central theme on Age Of, because apparently, we’re in an age of a lot of different influences. “Same” is like a warped Björk song, “The Station” has a Latin flair to it, “Manifold” is a lovely little piano track with some synths for good measure, “Black Snow” is a sort of synthwave ballad, and the list goes on. Lopatin isn’t one to run in place, instead jogging through entire neighborhoods and even neighboring communities on his most ambitious record to date.–D.R.

25. Haley Heynderickx, I Need To Start A Garden

Mama Bird Recordings

Portland’s Haley Heynderickx knows that growth is no breezy task, but rather one that requires the dirty work of thorough pruning and patience. Her debut album is aptly named, then; I Need To Start A Garden as a declaration feels loaded with steely conviction. And Heynderickx has had quite the blossoming year, with a career kickstart from her own NPR Tiny Desk, an inaugural record release, and recent recognition from Stereogum as one of 2018’s best new artists.

Her success has been rightfully lauded – Heynderickx’s music is tantalizing and challenging, lyrics rife with stunning imagery that’s been compared to notable predecessors like Elliott Smith and Vashti Bunyan. On multiple of the album’s tracks, Heynderickx has a tendency to ruminate over certain lines, reciting them over and over again in a trance-like effort to remember. In the closing of “Show You A Body,” her lilting voice emerges from a muddled instrumental interlude to the sound of airy windchimes, like she’s taking a breath for the first time – “I am humbled by breaking down,” she repeats, and it feels like rebirth.–L.L.

24. Spiritualized, And Nothing Hurt

Fat Possum Records

Great art often hurts. Not just to listen to, but to create. That’s what makes Spiritualized’s Vonnegut-referencing album title a bit of a misdirection, because while maybe the pain subsides once the album is out in the world, from all reports, creating And Nothing Hurt was a taxing, nearly destructive process for Jason Pierce. He recorded most of the thing without a band, holed up in his home and in studios trying to make one person sound like dozens. It was such a process that after its completion, and even during the process, he claimed that it might be the last time he would put himself through it. Everything he has is right there spinning on the record, with nothing held back and saved for later.

The resulting album is something that stands up to a career of classics, where the pop music canon is consumed and shuffled and made new. Pierce’s toughest critic is himself because he desires this music to stand up to the music he’s inspired by, which just happens to be the best rock, blues, and soul ever created. And Nothing Hurts is a labor of love that feels like a gift on every listen, the orchestral swells reaching for the rafters and Pierce’s own weathered, broken voice tying things together with striking beauty. If this is indeed the last Spiritualized album, it’s a swan song of the highest order.–P.C.

23. Boygenius, Boygenius

Matador Records

Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, and Lucy Dacus want to be on a spaceship, traveling far away from their bodies and the earthly struggle to try and be heard. They want to “dissolve the band, move to Idaho,” blast their heartbreak into the sky, and repent enough to quiet a “difficult mind.” Put together, the three young singers echo one another’s desires and demands for something better, amplifying their voices larger than life and straight into outer space.

Boygenius is a confrontational, teeth-gnashing record, louder in six songs than most artists can get in 12 or 15. Their lyrics are piercing — we’ve come to expect that by now, since Baker, Bridgers, and Dacus are three of the biggest indie breakouts of the past few years, and we’ve seen their genius in their solo work. As a collective, though, they’re earth-shattering, and they’re unstoppable.–C.G.

22. DJ Koze, Knock Knock

Pampa Records

If DJ Koze (AKA Stefan Kozalla) sounds confident, it’s because he’s been around the block plenty of times before. He first got involved with DJ-ing and production in the late ’80s, when he was a teenager. He’s been active ever since, and it’s all led up to Knock Knock, his first full-length since 2013’s Amygdala. It would be fair to think that somebody who’s been involved with electronic music for as long as DJ Koze has might start to tire of it, but he previously told Uproxx that club music still excites him, saying, “I just try to concentrate on the positive and that still fascinates and electrifies me. When I hear a mysteriously good track, it gives me this fire.”

That passion shines through on Knock Knock, where he finds highlights within relative simplicity. The production is often tight and uncomplicated, and Koze uses his collaborators as instruments… quite literally with “Music On My Teeth,” on which José González contributes guitar to the sunny track. Knock Knock is a record that’s focused and, even though it runs nearly 80 minutes, not over-long, two boxes that electronic music is often unable to check off, but ones that Koze and his wisdom were able to pull off without any significant stumbles.–D.R.

21. Nipsey Hussle, Victory Lap

Atlantic Records

Nipsey Hussle was an independent stalwart, well-respected for exploits like making $60,000 off of his $1,000 album package. He showed how rewarding it could be to do right by the self. That’s why some people wondered what was up when he signed to Atlantic – but Neighborhood Nip was too smart for any label to get the best of him. He did exactly what he wanted with his latest album Victory Lap and simply invited Atlantic to the table to help his play. The album, true to the title, is a culmination of his grind and exemplifies that you shouldn’t automatically ignore major labels – if you can sign on your terms.

Victory Lap isn’t merely self-aggrandizing , as he kicks the kind of “Hussle And Motivate” energy that harkens to prime Jeezy. He and YG unite the colors and lay out their resume on “Last Time That I Checc’d,” and on “Blue Laces 2,” he’s dropping knowledge and telling us how he came from nothing. He and Kendrick Lamar chronicle their “Dedication” to the game that paid off for both of them. Nipsey even got Diddy to invigorate “Young N—-s” with the kind of motivational presence he’s known for. On Victory Lap, Nipsey gives us compelling glimpses of his against-all-odds grind and shares his triumphs to motivate the youngins.–A.G.

20. Camila Cabello, Camila

Epic Records

Camila Cabello is “emo.” When I saw her at ACL Festival this fall, Cabello must have described herself as “emo” half a dozen times, joking around with the hyped-up crowd before she made them cry with her (pretty emo) performance of “Consequences.”

Like her more punk-leaning emo brethren, Cabello feels things deeply, and has a sensitive, observational heart. When she’s in love, like on “Never Be The Same,” it’s rapturous. When her heart is broken, you can hear every ache through her vocal runs. Her emotion is big and dramatic, beautifully outsized even for pop, a genre that’s not known for its subtlety. Cabello doesn’t just have a crush — half of her heart is in “Havana.” She compares the hit of affection from her lover to “nicotine, heroin, morphine.” At a time when a lot of mainstream pop is getting quieter and more introspective, Cabello is here to remind us that there’s catharsis and power in belting your feelings. Call her bubblegum pop, call her emo. Whatever you call her, she’s genius.–C.G.

19. Pusha T, Daytona

GOOD Music/Def Jam

Pusha T’s Daytona kicked off the GOOD June of Kanye West-produced releases in raw fashion. The game hadn’t heard from Push in three years, and he rewarded our patience with thrilling pyrex poetics. Drake shots on “Infrared” aside, Pusha served us a hell of a lot of other quotables in just 21 minutes. Those who gripe that he only raps about drugs are ungrateful — because he consistently does it better than anyone alive at this juncture.

“If you know, you know.” From the moment that intro track begins Daytona, Pusha put us in the zone. It’s not just that clever lines like “we got the tennis balls for the wrong sport” deliver a rush of realism that’s unparalleled by other drug-oriented rhymers, he’s doing it while out-rapping the competition and delivering the 360 experience of the lifestyle. He’s flashy on “The Games We Play.” He’s pensive on “Santeria.” He brags about his simultaneous superiority on both the block and the booth on “Come Back Baby.” And he still gave us potent commentary on the rap game throughout “Infrared.” The combination of his imagery-rich lyricism, sharp wordplay, and Kanye’s arresting samples are undeniable. Daytona is simply one of the most polished displays of MC-ing this year.–A.G.

18. Kurt Vile, Bottle It In

Matador Records

Years before he was an indie rock legend in his own time, Kurt Vile was a struggling singer-songwriter in Philadelphia recording scores of psych-folk gems at home and distributing them by hand via homemade CD-Rs. His latest album, Bottle It In, feels like a return to the spirit of those times, compiling some of his warmest and most inviting songs laid down during an explosion of creativity in the past few years. The result is an album that reminds long-time admirers of his many strengths as a songwriter and guitarist, and acts as a handy entry point for newcomers, offering a kind of compendium for his career up until now.

There are catchy, concise jams (“Loading Zones”), witty stoner-friendly tangents (“Check Baby”), spacy Americana (“Yeah Bones”), and several long, hypnotic zone-outs like “Bassackwards” and the stunning title track. (There’s also a surprisingly straight-forward cover of Charlie Rich’s “Rollin’ With The Flow” that spotlights Vile’s burgeoning interest in country music.) Throughout Bottle It In, Vile displays the loopy humor and sneaky melancholy that have become his trademarks. At all times, he’s an affable presence, the kind of dude you’re happy to hang with for the better part of an afternoon.–S.H.

17. JID, DiCaprio 2

Dreamville

JID was a 2018 XXL Freshman, but he’s soon set to be a principle figure of hip-hop. His recently released Dicaprio 2 album showcased why. The tongue-twisting Atlanta artist showed off his mastery of flow, stretching and contorting his voice over a range of beats that run the gamut of vibes, such as the majesty of “Slick Talk,” funky jazz-hop of “Hot Box” featuring Method Man and Joey Badass, and the surging “Off Deez” with J. Cole, where the two try to rhyme faster than the speed of light.

But the Mac Miller-influenced Dicaprio 2 isn’t just about vocal acrobatics – the young Atlanta rhymer is spittin’ his ass off. He’s the total package on the project, showcasing impressive technical lyricism, slick wordplay, and sage-like lines like “I’m from East Atlanta like Gucci and Travis Porter / But my story is similar to the hare and the tortoise” on “Slick Talk.” He also drops incisive social commentary on the so-called “war on drugs” on “Off Da Zoinkys,” while “Skrawberries” is a smooth narrative of young love. He’s doing it all on Dicaprio 2, emerging at the eleventh hour with one of the best hip-hop records of the year.–A.G.

16. Troye Sivan, Bloom

EMI Music Australia

F*ck being the biggest “queer” pop star in the world, Troye Sivan is going to be the biggest pop star, period. His opulent, joyous Bloom is a sophomore album with the star-making power of a debut — no disrespect to his actual debut, Blue Neighborhood from 2015 — and it will be the record that soars into Sivan’s personal mythology as the one where the world began to understand what he has always known.

What do we know now? That Sivan is a force. He won’t be bound by labels and subgroups but is the kind of artist who is destined for fame so expansive it drops any pretense of gender, sexuality, name, or origin story. Like Michael, Justin, and Taylor before him, soon, he’ll just be Troye. From the aching elegance of “Seventeen” and “The Good Side” to the overwhelming sweetness of “Dance To This” and “Lucky Strike,” all the way to the soaring pop grandeur of the title track and “My My My,” Sivan hits every emotional note with his dreamy, unbridled songwriting.

Speaking of which, he has a co-writing credit on each of the ten tracks here, and did on every song off his debut, too. Though he’s undeniably beautiful, Sivan is not just another pretty face — even if his background as a Youtuber and an actor informs his impossibly polished, charismatic stage presence. He’s an artist in every sense of the word, here to claim the label “queer popstar,” and take it worldwide.–C.W.

15. Various Artists, Black Panther, Original Soundtrack

Top Dawg Entertainment

It’s only right that a movie as titanic as Black Panther received a blockbuster soundtrack. That’s exactly what Marvel pulled off here, as Kendrick Lamar executed his curatorial debut with the precision of a Killmonger kill. Kendrick saw to it personally that the album had the hits to match Black Panther‘s box office success, with his wondrous “All The Stars” collaboration with SZA, surging “Pray For Me” with The Weeknd, and “King’s Dead” banger with Future, Jay Rock, and James Blake.

But beyond the numbers, Kendrick augmented the beloved pro-Black movie with songs inspired by its major themes – and Africa. “Are you a king or you joking, are you a king or you posing?,” he asks on the title track, reflecting the qualms that T’Challa has on film. On “Seasons,” after Mozzy and Reason analyze the perils of systemic racism that Killmonger suffered through, Kendrick powerfully states, “I am T’Challa. I am Killmonger. One world, one god, one family,” converging the two character’s worldviews into the ideological dynamism that is Blackness.

Despite his mastery as an executive producer, he knew when to take a back seat and let a slew of talented South African artists such as Sjava, Yugen Blakrok, Babes Wodumo, and Saudi show their skills. Reaching out internationally is a royal mandate, after all.–A.G.

14. Soccer Mommy, Clean

Fat Possum

21-year-old Sophie Allison writes with such stunning acuity, it’s hard to believe Clean is the first album she recorded for a label. Its individual songs are great — “Your Dog” and “Cool” stand as pop-rock bangers on their own, and “Scorpio Rising” is a heartbreaker even if you don’t know the parts of the story that precede it.

But Clean is such a thematically cohesive album that it demands to be listened to in order. Allison meditates on “clean” as a metaphor for leaving someone, the myth of a “clean break,” and our hope that we might stain the people we leave behind. Apart from her DIY lyrical genius, Allison also has an incredible pop sensibility and ear for a melody. “Cool” has been stuck in my head since March, and it’s the best song about that feeling of half-jealousy, half-intrigue toward another woman since Little Big Town’s “Girl Crush.” With Clean, Soccer Mommy established herself as one of pop-rock’s most exciting up-and-comers, a songwriting legend in the making. Hell, she’s already made it.–C.G.

13. Beach House, 7

Sub Pop

There’s a moment on Beach House’s appropriately titled seventh album, 7, in which the band that had long built their aesthetic on mood and subtlety blasts off into the stratosphere. It’s about halfway through “Dive,” when the glacial keyboard tones give way to locomotive guitars and propulsive drums, reaching a tempo of panoramic rock that the band had never really hinted at previously. More than ten years into their career, and this Baltimore duo still has new tricks up their sleeve.

That’s part of what makes 7 so special, but not the whole story. One of the narratives for Beach House’s career has been their consistency, with some almost weaponizing that against them, finding their continual high bar a reason to paint their albums as indistinguishable. But the truth is that their moves have always been concentrated, carefully orchestrated, and deliberate. So, the decision to make an album in 7 that was not necessarily easy, or possible, to faithfully create live resulted in a record that’s easy to distinguish from the pack. They sound freer than the band has ever been because, in fact, they were. Dream pop, shoegaze, and psychedelic rock all live together in harmony on 7, reimagining exactly who Beach House is, at least until the next album.–P.C.

12. Saba, Care For Me

Saba Pivot

At just ten tracks, you wouldn’t think Saba’s second studio album would meet the critical criteria to compete with the longer offerings on tap in 2018, but actually, it presents likely the best argument for concise, compact, and cohesive sonic statements that there could be. When Saba’s cousin and crew member John Walt was killed at the beginning of the year, the Chicago rapper used that grief and despair to fuel his artistic fire, crafting one of the most intricate, thoughtful, and aware pieces of rap musicianship of the past 12 months.

It’s melancholy, as an album about the death of a family member would be, but also unexpectedly and suddenly joyful, by turns introspective and defiant as Saba waxes nostalgic about the life lessons he’s gleaned from his mourning and enduring survival — as well as the resultant survivor’s guilt that haunts tracks like “Prom/King” and “Heaven All Around Me.” But there’s also, in all that ruminating, an important lesson: Life goes on. Saba takes time to rebuke our modern addiction to social media on “Logout” alongside Chance The Rapper, arguing that we’re all wasting precious moments staring at screens, and takes a moment to appreciate his own skill and the work required in its maintenance and improvement on “Calligraphy.” As much as he looks back on Care For Me, it’s a forward-facing album whose most enduring message is to live in the now and savor every second.–A.W.

11. Robyn, Honey

Konichiwa Records/Interscope Records

Robyn is a master of putting words to complicated emotions. When you listen to her songs for the first time, you latch onto the joy in her cathartic vocals, the freedom in the synths. But there’s also a sadness underneath it all that unfurls further with each listen, as you get to know the songs better. Robyn takes you so deep inside her joy that you can see the loneliness at the heart of it. Or, maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe it’s joy buried within loneliness.

In the eight years between Body Talk, her 2010 album, and Honey, Robyn lost a dear friend and close collaborator. The songs on Honey are a little quieter and denser than some of her old material, weighed down by this grief. “Missing U” and “Honey” build to that same Robyn catharsis, but her joy is less exalting and more like a deep exhale of relief. It’s the kind of album you need time and space to appreciate, a dozen listens to let the heaviness of the songs wash over you so you can access the sweetness inside.

And the sweetness is there. No matter how ugly things get, there is joy worth collecting from the world. A deserted dance floor has room to move. A broken heart still beats. A heart that has stopped beating might leave an empty space in its absence, but somehow, that space is never actually empty. Robyn herself says it best on “Missing U”: “Ooh, baby, all the love you gave, it still defines me.”—C.G.

10. Earl Sweatshirt, Some Rap Songs

Tan Cressida/Columbiar Records

Off-kilter, unconventional beats and introspective, stream-of-consciousness verses highlight the long-awaited return of the former Odd Future wunderkind who last blessed his fans with a full-length project in 2015 with I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside. Some Rap Songs is a cerebral collection of just that, clocking in at a concise 25 minutes and 15 tracks, where everything from the sample-heavy beats to the intricate rhyme patterns exists in service to Earl’s single-minded emphasis on transforming emotional turmoil into complex raps. From the first single, “Nowhere2Go” to the Navy Blue-sampling “The Mint,” Earl exhibits the complicated lyrical schemes that first garnered him attention on those early Odd Future releases.

On the song “Playing Possum,” he incorporates a recording of his father, South African poet Keorapetse “Bra Willie” Kgositsile, reading his poem “Anguish Longer Than Sorrow,” along with audio of Earl’s mother speaking about him. The song was meant to surprise his estranged parents as a gesture of reconciliation, but due to his father’s death earlier this year, stands as a tribute to the man who probably most inspired Earl’s love of the oral tradition. It’s a microcosm of the album as a whole; Earl venting his innermost thoughts in his favorite medium.–A.W.

9. The 1975, A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Dirty Hit/Polydor/Interscope

It would have been very easy for The 1975 to make a radio-friendly, watered-down album with all ears on them for the feverishly-anticipated A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships. In fact, they are exactly the type of band that could have done so and done it very well. But as the Manchester four-piece rolled out the singles to their third career album, it became very clear that something else was in store. Instead, we have a rock band for the era of rock’s popularity recession, speaking to the moment that their art is released, be that lyrical references to Lil Peep, sonic references to Bon Iver, and an album construction that seemingly couldn’t come from anyone else.

And maybe that’s the most impressive part of The 1975 and this album, how utterly singular it sounds in the current music landscape. Massive singles that seem destined for TV syncs and hip playlists are spaced with emotional balladeering and experimental diversions. There’s even a robotic technophobic spoken word interlude that recalls another British band who did that same thing on their own mainstream-shunning third album, OK Computer. A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships is ultimately an album that strives to be a grand statement, that dares to mythologize while still presenting themselves as a millennial band that baby boomers could like. And the best part is that they succeeded.–P.C.

8. Cardi B, Invasion Of Privacy

Atlantic Records

Cardi B’s debut album, Invasion Of Privacy, remains one of the most talked about records of 2018. According to Apple, Cardi’s debut was the most streamed album by a female artist in a single week — with over a hundred million streams — and that was just on one streaming platform. It’s an impressive entry, forcing the industry to give Cardi B her props. Kicking off with “Get Up 10,” clearly inspired by Meek Mill’s “Intro,” Invasion Of Privacy is consistent and delivers more than what staunch music critics initially expected, that she’d remain a one-hit-wonder with her Billboard Hot 100 bop “Bodak Yellow.”

Songs such as the radio-friendly “I Like It” featuring J Balvin and Bad Bunny and the Kehlani-assisted “Ring” debunk this theory in whole. Other cuts, like “Drip” featuring Migos, “Best Life” featuring Chance the Rapper, and “Be Careful” are all solid numbers that demand Bardi get her respect. Furthermore, all thirteen songs off the multi-platinum Invasion Of Privacy entered the Billboard Hot 100 charts, as streams for the project reached the millions, and twelve of those songs got RIAA certifications. Shortly after the release of the album, Cardi announced her pregnancy on Saturday Night Live and vowed to not let that slow her down. Though she did pull out of Bruno Mars 24K tour, she made an incredible appearance at this year’s Coachella, and despite having to deal with her ongoing beef with Nicki Minaj (which is supposedly dead), Cardi B really came out on top in 2018 when a lot of people doubted her. Get up 10, indeed.–C.J.

7. Father John Misty, God’s Favorite Customer

Sub Pop

It was a relatively quiet year for Father John Misty, who decided after the tumultuous and all-pervasive press cycle for 2017’s Pure Comedy to let the music do the talking on God’s Favorite Customer. It’s also likely that Josh Tillman’s latest song cycle was simply too painful or awkward to discuss in the press — anguished ballads like “Please Don’t Die” and “The Palace” clearly are inspired by his own troubled romantic life. Not that it ultimately mattered — God’s Favorite Customer is more than capable of standing on its own as one of the very best, if not the best, release to come during Tillman’s staggering run of the albums in the past several years.

Anyone who blanched at the polarizing grandiosity and acerbic commentary of Pure Comedy had to be coaxed back by Customer, which offers a series of punchy, tuneful, and heartfelt love songs not far removed from his 2015 breakthrough, I Love You, Honeybear. And yet this isn’t just the sound of a gifted singer, songwriter, and provocateur deciding to play it nice and safe. Coupled with the nakedly autobiographical nature of the songs, Tillman has also deepened his level of craft, with songs such as “Disappointing Diamonds Are The Rarest Of Them All” offering both his sharpest hooks and most pointed observations about the fleeting (and yet still vital) nature of love.–S.H.

6. Noname, Room 25

Via Instagram

After dazzling the rap world with the pure poetry of her effervescent debut album, Telefone, Chicago rapper Noname returned from a two-year hiatus with the self-funded, coming-of-age project, Room 25. While her existing catalog had engaged audiences with its almost painfully diaristic honesty, her latest album adds a layer of bold confidence, the kind that only comes with experience and mastery.

To her credit, she’s more than earned the right to boast. Her pen game, already whip-quick and elegantly intricate, elevated in the two years between projects. Where on Telefone, her lyrics bobbed, weaved, and danced between the pockets of the jazzy, dreamlike production, on Room 25, she adds jabs and combinations, becoming proactive and proud on tracks like “Self.” Poetry can have punch, which seems to be the thesis of her new approach to her introspective style. Gone are the PG-rated “lullaby raps” of her debut, replaced by vital political and sexual statements of self-actualization. On “Blaxploitation,” she challenges listeners with poignant punchlines and declarations like “Put a thinkpiece in the rap song, the new age covenant.” If rap is just poetry put to beats, Room 25 is Noname’s unapologetic return to its roots, fertilized and flowered, providing a powerful new perspective on a genre that continues to grow outside the bounds of its established mandate of parties and bullsh*t.–A.W.

5. Ariana Grande, Sweetener

Republic Records

It’s weird listening to Sweetener now that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson have broken up.

Grande was working on Sweetener for months before she was engaged to Davidson, but it’s impossible to separate him, and their quickly metabolized relationship, from these songs. (There’s a song literally called “Pete Davidson,” after all.) You can hear the way Davidson made her laugh on “Sweetener,” and how much it meant to her to be laughing again. You can hear Grande reasoning with herself on “R.E.M.,” in the way she sings “‘Excuse me, um, I love you’ / I know that’s not the way to start a conversation, trouble,” the way she repeats “wake up” almost like she’s telling herself that all of this is irrational. Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. No one falls in love this fast!

Except, sometimes we do. Sometimes we’re surprised by the irrational objects of our affection, and we pursue them no matter how many people tell us they’re not worth it. They make us happy, which is worth something, especially when there’s not much sweetness in the world.

Sweetener was an incredible album when it was released in August. It’s immaculately produced. Grande has a killer voice, but she keeps it soft here, proving that she’s more than just a high pony who can belt. There’s care and love in these songs, in the writing, production, and obvious dedication. Sweetener was brilliant when Ariana Grande was in love, and somehow it’s even more brilliant now.

It’s weird to listen to “R.E.M.” now and to know that Davidson is making jokes at Grande’s expense on Saturday Night Live. It’s weird to listen to “Better Off” now that Mac is gone, and to bounce to “No Tears Left To Cry” and be reminded that the tears never stop coming.

But Sweetener is a monument to happiness and time spent together. It’s all the more brilliant for capturing those fleeting feelings, the sparkle of new love, bottling the feeling and making it shine brighter than its source.–C.G.

4. Janelle Monae, Dirty Computer

Wondaland Records

Whether or not you were already hanging onto cyborg popstar Janelle Monae’s (damn) bandwagon, or even aware of the alternate funk-cosmos she’s been quietly laboring over for many years now, the release of her third full-length album, Dirty Computer, thrust her career into such a state of hyperspeed that she was unavoidable in 2018. Luxuriating in a more down-to-earth aesthetic this time around, the spacey, ever-regal Monae makes room for the freaks, the geeks, and the outsiders on her triumphant opus.

Yet, there was probably not a more sumptuous album in 2018 than Dirty Computer; it reveled in sensuality and tenderness, claiming space, particularly, for Monae to make her own coming out statement of pansexuality, giving these songs a revolutionary feel even when they hover around the tiniest moments of intimacy. To openly express queer love is still a radical act, even more so at the intersections of gender and race. Still, Monae is fully aware of the statement she’s making when she spreads her legs in the video for “Pynk” claiming the power of the pussy with such easy elegance. It’s hard to imagine anyone finding a way to take offense.

Enlisting collaborators as varied and renowned as Brian Wilson, Zoe Kravitz, Grimes, and Pharrell, each is just another star in Monae’s universe, a galaxy she rules with as much queenly reverence here on earth as she did in her former galactical iterations. If there ever was an artist fit to take up the mantle of Prince, her former mentor, it’s Monae — a woman unafraid to be herself, and guiding the listener into a better version of their own character by the end of every song. —C.W.

3. Arctic Monkeys, Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino

Domino Records

With 2013’s mega-successful A.M., Arctic Monkeys confirmed their status as one of the best and most popular arena-rock bands on the planet. Five years later, they returned with an album that boldly eschewed its predecessor’s dusky, riff-centric flexing. In the place of aggressive and sexy rock anthems, singer-songwriter Alex Turner penned a series of wild, weird, wordy, wacky, wayward, and thoroughly wonderful torch ballads about the slow apocalypse of modern life.

Slipping comfortably into a vampire’s croon reminiscent of David Bowie during his coked out mid-’70s “Thin White Duke” period, Turner ruminates on a range of bizarre obsessions — everything from The Strokes to Blade Runner to a rating system for interstellar taco stands — that somehow add up to a series of hilarious, stream-of-consciousness narratives. Musically, Arctic Monkeys dig up some new sonic reference points utterly divorced from chunky, snotty rawk songs they made their name on. (Dion’s infamously druggy and self-indulgent 1975 curio Born To Be With You was a primary inspiration — look it up, it’s just as wondrous and head-scratching as Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino.) A sci-fi concept album that satirizes vapid online culture by imitating its broken vocabulary, Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino ultimately thrills because Arctic Monkeys stubbornly insist on being inscrutable at a time when pop seems more predictable and programmed than ever.–S.H.

2. Kacey Musgraves, Golden Hour

MCA Nashville

Just a couple weeks ago, Kacey Musgraves took home the Album Of The Year award at the CMAs, a moment that was notable for many reasons. For one, she was just the second woman this decade to nab the honor, in a year where she was the only one nominated. That’s not particularly surprising considering how male-centric the commercial wing of the genre is, but Kacey was breaking down another door that night than just one for female representation. Golden Hour was also not a success at country radio at all, and she didn’t even service her singles to the format, despite the fact that many of the songs feel like they should be massive on the heartland airwaves in a perfect world. Country music’s oldest guard — as represented by the CMAs or radio — are the same institutions that caused Sturgill Simpson to busk outside of the CMAs a year earlier, as the awards usually fail to honor the brightest artistic achievements in favor of the most commercially popular ones.

All this speaks to the majesty of Kacey Musgraves’ latest album, a record that doesn’t need country music — or any genre’s — cosign to demonstrate its greatness. In it, Musgraves never paints herself into a corner, with a song like the masterful opener “Slow Burn” finding her smoking weed, disappointing her grandmother, and fooling around with boys without losing an ounce of the wholesomeness that comes through her sheer honesty and openness. It’s an album that showcases lyrical genius by updating country-western tropes for the 21st century on “Space Cowboy,” and can deliver a line about a sister in “Lonely Weekend” or a song about her mom in “Mother” that will make anyone with half a heart want to reignite their family’s group text.

Golden Hour is an open-hearted and good-natured instant classic that really doesn’t have any modern peers, coming at a time where that feels particularly novel and brave. Our own Caitlin White said that it felt like the first good thing to happen in 2018 and as the year comes to a close, it still feels like the year couldn’t top the pure joy that it brought. It’s nice that the CMAs recognize that, but with all the accolades still to come, it’s even nicer knowing that Kacey is just happy blazing her own trail, and probably blazing on the trail at the same time.–P.C.

1. Travis Scott, Astroworld

Epic/Cactus Jack

In a year with so much good music, whatever album topped our list had to be momentous. Travis Scott’s Astroworld was that, as the album rang true to its lofty title, set a new benchmark for trap music, and marked him as the biggest music-related story of the busy summer 2018. Scott became a rap superstar off of this album and he deserved to; the 17-track album was the rare long project that didn’t feel spotted with duds, as Travis was attentive to every drum pattern and beat switch. His A&R Sickamore says some of the tracks took as many as 50 sessions, and you can hear the results throughout the project.

As the vibes overseer of Astroworld, he single-handedly put to bed any notion of trap music not being a respectable music genre. He worked with music stalwarts like Stevie Wonder, John Mayer, James Blake, Earth Wind & Fire’s Philip Bailey, and Tame Impala’s Kevin Parker to shock the subgenre with a jolt of sonic nuance that other mainstream producers need to catch up to, frankly.

“Stop trying to be god” (for better) and Drake’s “I did half a Xan, 13 hours ’til I land ” from “SICKO MODE” (maybe for worse) jumped right into the cultural lexicon. Songs like “SICKO MODE,” “STARGAZING,” and “YOSEMITE” are simply unforgettable.

This one was for Houston. For DJ Screw, Swishahouse, Big Hawk, and UGK’s Pimp C, who was a classically trained artist who played four instruments. Pimp’s musicality played into the soulful foundation of trap music, and Travis carried on that legacy with Astroworld.–A.G.

source https://uproxx.com/music/best-albums-of-2018-ranked/

#hiphop #hip hop legend #hip hop history #hip hop #music #trending #hip hop news #ballin #hip hop scen

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thecelestialjukebox · 6 years

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Best of 2017: 10-1

10. Paramore - Hard Times:

“Hard Times,” first and foremost, is an expertly crafted retro pop song just on virtue of sonics— those marimbas! Those guitar stabs! That awkward vocoder bit! Yet it also captures something deep about the new wave material it’s cribbing from, something that many artists who’ve decided to do Talking Heads cosplay miss. On “Hard Times,” Hayley Williams, who has long been one of the best songwriters in the Alt-rock world, nails the profound sadness and fear of the best New Wave. But “Hard Times” is not just notable for how it imitates the past but in how it boldly stabs towards new sonic ground, in how it shows a Paramore that’s willing to evolve into something unrecognizable from the band that put out “Misery Business.”

9. Mount Eerie - Soria Moria:

A Crow Looked At Me is a tragedy not just because of the real life calamity that it documents but because of the thing it realizes about the nature of sorrow. A Crow Looked At Me is about the death and mourning of Geneveive Castree, yes, but it’s also about how memory betrays us, gives us nothing but shards of what once was. “Soria Moria” is where Phil Elverum explores this theme most fully, weaving together his entire life and love into a meditation on the impossible places that grief and memory drive us towards, all held together by the twin images of a mythic Norwegian castle and “Slow pulsing red tower lights/Across a distance, refuge in the dust.”

8. Marika Hackman - Time’s Been Reckless:

There are more genius hooks crammed into the four minutes of “Time’s Been Reckless” than most albums have in their entire running times. What more do you want from a power pop song? What greater joy is there than a pop song as expertly crafted as this?

7. The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die - Marine Tigers:

“Marine Tigers” is a heavy song— not just in its 4th-wave emo aesthetics and massive guitar riffs or its seven minute length, but in the density of its lyrics, which weave together fragments of the immigrant experience both political and personal into a meditation on what it means to be foreign. Yet any song this heavy needs something deeply vulnerable and open in it to survive— otherwise, it’s just dull— and “Marine Tigers” finds that moment in its midsection, as the eerie sustained guitar and synth lines fall away for riffs more delicate and the snare drops out entirely and the thing we’re left with it is just the simple declaration of defiant existence, repeated over and over again: “We’re here/I told you so.”

6. Vince Staples - Big Fish:

Vince Staples’ Big Fish Theory is one of those obvious masterpieces of an album, an album that commits so deeply to its aesthetic, equal parts submerged and metallic, that it can use its specificity to make universally powerful moments. “Big Fish,” the album’s pseudo-title track, is the most compelling moment on an album that’s full of them— it’s the easiest demonstration of Vince Staples’ appeal as a rapper who can move between intensity and levity. Just take the opening of the second verse:

“It's funny I was going crazy not too long ago

Women problems every morning like the Maury show

Swimming upstream while I'm tryna keep my bread

From the sharks make me wanna put the hammer to my head

At the park politickin' with the kids

Tryna get em on a straight path, got the lames mad

Know they hate to see me make cash, got the space dash

In the foreign with the GPS addressed to your mama house”

Vince delivers these lines with his characteristic flow, an almost mechanical method that lends his punchlines, like the literal “your mom” joke that ends this passage, a certain ambiguity. His best material is unnerving in that respect, in how you can’t ever tell fully how serious he is about any proposition, but it’s also thrilling.

5. St. Vincent - Hang On Me / Slow Disco:

“Hang On Me” and “Slow Disco” are two equal and opposite forces, beginning and ending MASSEDUCTION with a desperate, pleading cry for companionship and an equally desperate act of abandonment. Both songs are bare, at least by St. Vincent’s typically maximalist standards, pairing Annie Clark’s vocal performances with just simple strings-and-synth arrangements that stick to slow, elegiac riffs. And in the open space left on these tracks, she delivers the two greatest vocal performances of her career, aching and raw in ways she never has been before.

4. Lil Uzi Vert - XO TOUR Llif3:

On paper, it’s easy to dismiss “XO TOUR LLif3” as just another pop-trap novelty song, a faux-edgy earworm of a hook about dead friends with no song supporting it. After all, Lil Uzi Vert dropped it on SoundCloud unceremoniously last February on the short stopgap mixtape “Luv is Rage 1.5”, and only gave it a commercial release after the song became inescapably popular on that platform. Yet as soon Uzi’s voice starts to croak over TM88’s cyber-goth beat, it’s clear why “XO TOUR LLif3” is special. Cloaked in layers of autotune that nevertheless serve to accentuate the raw human emotion of his performance, the Philadelphia rapper slurs his lines together, starting and stopping and fragmenting himself towards incomprehensibility. It’s strange to see “XO TOUR LLif3” as some anthem, a song of the summer, when in itself it is not just personal but an invocation of the sheer loneliness and untranslatability of feeling. The line that everyone focuses on here is “all my friends are dead, push me to the edge,” which admittedly is one hell of a unique hook, but it’s in the song’s second verse (roughly speaking) that the song reveals its heart, a swirling mess of megalomania and fear: “I cannot die because this my universe.”

3. Lorde - The Louvre:

The first part of “The Louvre” is already among the best work on Lorde’s messy, wonderful Melodrama. Lorde expertly captures the uncertainty and passion of a young romance in the song’s lyrics, which shift constantly from long, languid bits of poetry like “Well, summer slipped us underneath her tongue/Our days and nights are perfumed with obsession” to casual, conversational lines like “They’ll hang us in the Louvre/Down the back, but who cares—still the Louvre.” The beat, produced by Flume and Malay (who also contributed to many of the best bits of Frank Ocean’s Blonde) also contributes to this feeling of ambiguity, rising and falling and rising again from simple guitar strums to the burbling mass of synths that Lorde sings the song’s final chorus over, all wistful passion. Yet the best part of “The Louvre” is in the back half, after all that is over. The song’s extended, wordless outro, anchored by a repeated guitar and synth figure, is some of the most evocative sonic storytelling of the year, an open question of a piece that hints of sun-drenched memories.

2. Japanese Breakfast - The Body Is A Blade:

“The Body Is A Blade” is a song about grief but it is not quite a sad song— instead, it feels like every other emotion but sadness is here, from a kind of wistful joy to defeat to anger finally all the way to acceptance. These feelings flow through every part of the song, from the guitars that hold the track down, slowly moving across its landscape with a deliberate sort of beauty, to the synth arpeggios that float in, unbound to the material world, in the song’s second half. In between these interlinked, kaleidoscopic parts a whole world of trauma and memory lies, brought out by Michelle Zauner’s vocal performance. Even as all these things move around her, she is steady, a force of clarity in an ambiguous and beautiful sonic world. Her lyrics, focused around the idea of survival in grief, do the same, returning again and again to the image of the body cutting through the days for the sake of staying alive.

1. Carly Rae Jepsen - Cut To The Feeling:

Pop music is both very easy and very hard to explain. The easy part is identifying all the little moving parts that work— the surf guitar in “Toxic,” for example, or the rolling drum beat on “Maps.” The hard part is in explaining how each of those functional elements, the load-bearers of a song, come together into something more. It’s easier in other genres— you can point to the virtuosity of a metal guitarist or an uber-technical rapper as the point where a song achieves greatness, or see the deeper meaning in an expertly crafted folk song or thoughtful piece of R&B— but pop is supposed to be disposable, which isn’t a bad thing, really, but makes finding its critical value more difficult.

“Cut To The Feeling” makes the hard part easy. “Cut To The Feeling” is not quite the best pop song of all time but is certainly the most pop pop song of all time, a throwaway (it’s a B-side to Emotion’s B-sides, consigned to a fourth-rate French animated movie) that takes its status as a throwaway as not a write-off but a mission statement. It’s supposedly a love song, just as all of CRJ’s output has been, but it’s really a song about what pop music does to you, how these little confections of synths and vocal lines develop emergent properties and actually make you feel things. “Cut To The Feeling” knows that it isn’t real, that pop music is inherently an exercise in abstractions and constructed images, but it doesn’t really care. Somewhere in the song’s build, as chugging rhythm guitar gives way to those massive synth chords, the point of the difference between the feeling itself and the shortcut the music provides is lost. “Cut To The Feeling” sounds like what it is: an ode to the power of pop music to become something ineffably more even within its limitations.

#best of 2017 #music

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persephonestourrp · 7 years

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@samevans:

♫ We need love, but all we want is danger ♫

Samantha Evans, usually referred to as Sam, was born on a cool February day in a hospital in Kentucky. Her parents, Dwight and Mary, were married for only a year at that point and didn’t have much money, but they swore from then on out to do their best to provide for their daughter.

No, Sam never had much money growing up, but she did have loving, devoted, and God-loving parents. Sam was baptized in their church after just a few weeks outside of the womb, and from that moment on, Sam was brought to church every single Sunday. As she got older, Sam would fight her mom a bit about what she had to wear -- why were dresses a requirement when the boys got to wear pants and run around in the mud in the break between Sunday school and the church service? -- but she grew up believing just as much in God as they did.

That was also how she first started learning about music. She asked her parents if she could join the children’s choir and it was there where she first started reading sheet music and learned what all those little dots meant. The music minister taught Sam so much and Sam soaked it up quickly, soon learning guitar under the kind woman’s (free) supervision. She seemed to be a natural at it.

And being good at something was a nice feeling, because Sam was never good at anything in school. No matter how hard she tried, Sam seemed to fail every single test at school. Math wasn’t too bad, but letters would always mix around in her head and she’d always get laughed at whenever she had to read aloud in class. Not only that, but she couldn’t concentrate, which often got her yelled at, and she even had trouble grasping how to tie shoes. Nothing seemed to make sense.

When her teachers told Mary and Dwight that Sam was at a risk for repeating second grade, they took her to the school’s specialist. They knew Sam was smart, but something seemed to just get mixed up in her head. After lots of tests, they concluded that Sam had dyslexia. Her trouble with spelling and following simple tasks all seemed to make sense. She was so young, but Sam still felt a wave of relief at knowing it wasn’t her fault. She just had some wire lose in her head or some wires weren’t connecting or something like that, she couldn’t remember the metaphor the teacher told her. All that mattered was she wasn’t dumb.

Well, Sam knew she wasn’t dumb, but she still felt dumb, especially since her classmates saw her go to the special ed class she had for an hour every day. She wasn’t wildly unpopular or anything, but she definitely got mocked a lot. And it hurt.

She did her best to just focus on things that made her happy, though. Her special ed teachers got her into comic books, since somehow that stuff seemed to make sense in her mind since it was so linear. She continued learning guitar and going to church and she joined the school’s swim team. Eventually, when her little brother and sister were born, Sam helped around the house as best as she could.

As Sam got older, she got more friends at school and was actually pretty popular, but she would still often be found at home helping her parents with her baby siblings during her free time. Family was always so important to her, more important than most anything else, and she loved being around her kid brother and sister. Stevie and Stacie looked up to her so much and it was damn awesome to be seen as a hero.

Then a crisis hit. Her dad lost her job and they had to tighten their belts even more. Sam got a job delivering pizzas and saved up as much money as possible, eventually even selling her most prized possession, her guitar, just to try to help spread money around. And when it came time for her to apply to colleges, Sam didn’t even bother; it cost too much money to even apply, and she still didn’t feel smart enough to even go to one. She was going to stay in Kentucky, because, yeah, maybe her dad finally landed a well-paying job again, but getting Stevie and Stacie more money was much more important than getting into some dumb college. Her siblings would be better at the whole college thing than her anyways.

Well, her parents actually weren’t okay with that. See, they knew maybe college wasn’t the right place for their eldest child, but they knew that Sam wanted to see more of the world, and that after years of sacrifice, she deserved it. She could model, she could sing, she could even work as a minister, but she needed to get out of their small town in Kentucky and make a name for herself and have fun.

A year after Sam graduated high school, her parents presented her with a new guitar and gave her the keys to their old truck. Sam always had a home with them, but they told her it was time to find something new. As much as Sam would miss her family, she knew they were right and she needed to leave Kentucky. So with the money she saved, plus some extra her parents made her take, Sam took off for a new adventure.

♫ We team up, then switch sides like a record changer ♫

Of course, when thinking of places to go, the obvious destination was LA. It was sunny and full of big chances, right? So Sam drove that beat up old car to California, got a job in a Target, and looked for places to live. On Craigslist she found two other girls, Rachel Berry and Kitty Wilde, who were looking for a roommate. Sam fit all the requirements: a non-smoking woman with no pets who didn’t mind Rachel practicing her belting at home. Sam applied using free wifi at a Starbucks and after an interview the next day, where she provided first and last months rent, Sam moved right on into the new place.

Of course, despite that bundle of money, the theme of her life always seemed to be money and the lack of it, and this was no different. It was hard for her to pay for food, car insurance, rent, her phone bill, and utilities, even with California’s higher minimum wage. She was normally exhausted whenever she finished work, and the only peace she ever seemed to feel anymore was when she went to church with Kitty.

One night, everything changed. A group of friends at work invited her to this club, and since she felt oddly energetic for once, she decided to go. It turned out to be a, uh, lesbian strip club? Sam didn’t even know those existed. And while she had debated her sexuality for a while, being surrounded by all those women definitely put some things into the light. And when her coworkers urged her to let loose and try out the amateur night challenge, she figured, well, why not? She wasn’t much of a dancer, but she was really attractive, and, hey, she couldn’t say no after she saw all the tips the amateurs were getting.

Sam hit the stage and, much to her surprise, made a ton of money. Like, more than the others. And when she got off stage, the owner actually handed her an application. Part of her was sure that this was all so wrong, but another part of her pointed out that God works in mysterious ways. So Sam filled out the application and started buying lingerie.

Sam was sure to tell her roommates this, and she was amazed at how truly understanding they were about the whole thing. Kitty was a bit skeptical at first, but they eventually talked it out, and Rachel just said something about “sex positive feminism” which Sam didn’t quite understand.

Of course, when her parents called, she just told them she was working overnight shifts at Target and had gotten a pay raise for the work. The idea of her parents knowing their responsible oldest daughter was taking off her clothes for work, or, worse, Stacey and Stevie finding out, scared her. They still looked up to her and constantly called her for advice. She didn’t know what she’d do if they found out about it. There was no way her family would understand.

Anyways, after about a year of working there while Rachel and Kitty went to school, things started to gel pretty well between the three of them. On one particular night that Sam had off, she started to play guitar. Rachel started singing along and Kitty joined in as well. Rachel suggested they start a band and while they all laughed at first, they soon found themselves planning it out.

See, Sam could play guitar and Rachel could play piano and was, of course, a singer, seeing as how she was majoring in musical theater. Kitty knew how to play drums after being forced into band as a kid, and she could easily afford to buy a new drum kit and take up some more lessons.

Before Sam knew it, the whole band thing became a reality. They started with some covers mostly, but Rachel soon started working with Sam on putting her writing to music, and the songs weren’t even half bad. Over the years they started to get some gigs and their songs improved even more. Once they got some solid songs under their belt, sometime after Kitty and Rachel had graduated college, Kitty got in contact with her cousin, Quinn Fabray, a member of The Sirens, and pulled some strings to get them an audition for their label.

With a lot of practice, they managed to actually pull off the audition and were given a contract and a manager and Rachel even got to collab with The Sirens. Their debut album, From Afar, took off with a lot of success, the numbers only increasing once they were signed up as The Sirens’ opening acts on their upcoming world tour.

Oh, and the whole stripping thing? Sam gave her two weeks as soon as the record contract was signed.

However, she still has a creeping suspicion someone in the media will find out. And if her family, the people she’s worked so hard to make proud all her life, or her fans or her new friends ever find out, she’s not sure she’ll ever be able to forgive herself.

♫ The rumors are terrible and cruel, ♫

Kitty Wilde: One of the things that helped Sam get a place with her roommates was Kitty’s religious background. There was a Bible on their bookshelf, and Sam couldn’t stop herself from pointing it out and quoting some of her favorite passages. Kitty was thoroughly impressed. After that, they would wake up and go to church together every Sunday and the two often ended up discussing religion and what it all really meant together. Sam always thought her family was religious, but they definitely weren’t like the Wildes. Kitty still suffered from a lot of issues that came with such a repressive household, and Sam did her best to help by sharing her more loving version of God with her. Sam knows Kitty still feels some guilt over some of her supposed sins, but Sam has seen her make a ton of progress.

Sabrina Smythe: As much as both Sabrina and Sam pretend to only have met in the past year, Sam has known her for a while. Of course, neither of them knew each other’s real names, because, yeah, okay, Sabrina was one of Sam’s most frequent customers and not when she worked at Target, that was for sure. On one of Sam’s first nights, Sabrina was up front and center, handing her a large bill and giving her this look that gave her shivers. And while Sam was just “White Chocolate” to Sabrina and Sabrina was just “Big Spender” to Sam in her head, the two definitely saw a lot of each other at that club, often in private rooms, and sometimes a few things that weren’t completely club rules were allowed. At first Sam thought Sabrina didn’t recognize her; after all, Sam’s usual flannel and jeans outfits and bare make up contrasted to those skimpy outfits and glitter-coated skin back at the bar. But Sabrina talked to her in private and made it clear that she knew who she was. Sabrina tried passing them off to another manager, but it looked too suspicious and she ended up keeping Divine Influence under her control. Both of them still haven’t told anyone else their secret -- no one besides Sam’s bandmates and Sabrina even know about her old job -- and Sabrina is working extra hard at keeping Sam’s old job out of the papers for both of their sakes. She even got Sam’s old co-workers to sign confidentiality agreements. So now Sam just has to ignore the remaining attraction she has to her, which...hasn’t really worked so far.

Rachel Berry: When Sam first moved in with Kitty and Rachel, she bonded right away with Kitty. Rachel, however, was a different story. They didn’t fight or anything, but Rachel seemed a bit...weird around her. But then the band started and things seemed to work out well. They started joking around and having meaningful talks, just like she did with Kitty. Rachel even gave Sam a few moves to do at her job, which helped a lot. Of course, Rachel did them much better than Sam and looked much better doing them. Then again, Sam’s pretty sure Rachel would look great doing anything, but that’s another story. That story is only complicated by the fact that Sam has noticed Sabrina slipping Rachel away from the group, talking to her more, and even putting a hand on her back every now and then. Sam wants to believe it’s nothing because Sabrina went on a big rant about how they would all be professional. But, well, maybe Sabrina just isn’t interested in having an ex-stripper as anything more than that...

Blair Anderson: Sam met Blair a few times because of Rachel’s shows at UCLA, and they’ve gotten along pretty well. Blair’s so, so sweet, and she’s so good, too. Honestly, Sam doesn’t get how Rachel can give so many notes since Blair always sounds so great in rehearsal. Sam is sure to tell her that. And since they’ve been in rehearsals and all, they’ve actually become pretty good friends. Like, actually good friends. They’ve joked about taking over the #KittyKat videos and making BLAM Attacks or something dumb like that. Whatever, it would totally work. They have a lot of fun together and tend to just goof off in their hotel room and watch dumb movies and just have fun together. And if she’s noticed Blair might have a crush on her, she really hasn’t let it on yet.

Norah Puckerman: Sam has always loved comic books, Star Wars, video games, and various “nerdy” things. And as much as she loves Rachel and Kitty, neither of them really enjoyed talking about that stuff. So when Norah casually mentioned Mario Kart once, Sam asked her more about it and suddenly Norah was ranting at her about shells and banana peels and Rainbow Road. It was definitely something Sam didn’t expect from someone like Norah, since she was all smooth and cocky and all. Those talks turned into the latest Star Wars movies and the upcoming comic book adaptations and Norah’s huge crush on Gal Gadot. The two of them have since become peas in a pod and are often found talking about all of those things and Norah has even joined in on some of the impressions (though, really, she’s not as good at them).

Marley Rose: With all the paired up promotions the two bands have done, plus the fact that they were going to tour together, it only made sense for both bands to get to know each other. As Sam started to get to know Marley, Sam realized they had a lot of things in common, such as growing up rather poor -- though Marley ended up having more stability once she moved in with her cousin. Still, they had a lot of fun talking and they developed a nice sense of humor between each other. Lately Sam has noticed that Marley is laughing at her impressions more and more, when normally people start laughing less. Part of her wonders if Marley has a crush on her -- and if she does, that really sucks because of, well, the whole Kitty thing.

Fiona Hudson: Fiona, much like Norah, is someone Sam has gotten along with really easily. They talk about comic book movies and junk food and music like they’ve known each other for years. And since Sam cares about family so much and can’t do anything about the Puckerdrama that Norah doesn’t know about, Sam is ready to help Fiona with Kat, which, okay, maybe she can’t do much about. Still, she’s willing to try, and she’s at least willing to listen. Oh, and having someone else who didn’t graduate from college on tour with her? It’s really nice. It’s nice not to feel like an idiot with someone, since, well, Sam tends to feel like everyone looks down on her.

Kat Hummel: Honestly, Sam really likes Kat. They don’t get to hang out that often or anything, but they’re definitely friends, at least in Sam’s book. And, hey, Kat loves her Bella Swan impression, so Sam does it whenever possible around her to make her laugh. Seeing as Sam gets along with Marley and Kitty, two girls Kat is fairly close to, she assumes the two of them are good enough friends. Sam can be a bit oblivious to what’s happening around her, but it’s not like Kat hates her or anything, right?

Jackie Puckerman: Okay, so, for a while, the only person who knew about Sam’s past job thing were her bandmates and Sabrina, and Sabrina was the only one who knew about how frequent of a customer she was. But then Jackie overheard a conversation on it, and now...now it’s hard. Jackie knows something so secret about her, but, okay, Sam knows a secret about Jackie as well, and it’s one she wishes she didn’t know. At all. Norah is her friend and she hates lying to her so much. She keeps trying to get Jackie to tell her since the guilt is honestly weighing on her so heavily and she just wants all the secrets out in the open. Or, well, at least Jackie’s. Hopefully she can keep it in until Jackie tells Norah herself, and hopefully Norah won’t be mad when she finds out that Sam knew.

Santana Lopez: In all honesty, Sam doesn’t know what to make of Santana. She does her job well and, really, she’s kind of like Sabrina in a weird way, since she’s all about business and can be too honest for her own good. Well, at least now. But Sam hasn’t talked to her much. She just knows that Santana looks at her kind of weirdly. Sam is, of course, completely unaware that Santana knows about her past job as a stripper...

Quinn Fabray: Sam has always been insecure about her intelligence. Quinn, of course, has never had to feel that way, or Sam assumes so, because she’s really smart. And normally Sam wouldn’t be bothered by that -- both Rachel and Kitty are smart, after all, as is Sabrina and most of the tour members. But Quinn has this way of saying things that make her feel so stupid. For example, one of the first times they met, Quinn asked Sam where she went to college. Sam said she hadn’t gone, and the look on Quinn’s face said everything. Maybe it’s all in her head, but she feels like Quinn looks down on her and is always trying to teach her things that she already knows. Sam’s pretty, but she ain’t dumb, okay? Just because she didn’t go to college or she spells things wrong doesn’t mean she’s dumb, but she feels dumb whenever Quinn tries to tell her some new fact or corrects her grammar or spelling.

♫ But, honey, most of them are true ♫

What have you done so far with the money you’ve made?

[answer here]

Do you regret your former job?

[answer here]

JBI asks: Would you rather your band’s songs appear in a DC or Marvel movie?

[answer here]

#sam evans #samantha evans #bio #c #divine influence #switched #t #se

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