#it is disrespectful to waste HOURS of everyone’s time
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long winded ass post I contemplated not writing but did it anyways. read if you’d like or ignore lmao.
so I feel as though this kind of goes without saying but a lot has changed on tumblr and the vibe has shifted a lot, sadly, not for the better either :/ I thought about this for a while and although last week, I was not posting any new content due to the strike, I’ve decided to step away from writing in general after this month. I could sit here and go on a tangent about how it’s the ‘algorithm’ and ‘dying fandoms’ but to me, this boils down to the fact that I refuse to exhaust myself to be unappreciated + disrespected. That’s not to say I’m ungrateful to everyone who reblogs and comments on my works all the time because I am incredibly grateful! I love each of you and I look forward to reading your tags/thoughts. However, it’s not lost on me that the anime fandom in general is becoming shrouded in toxicity and many of us are being pushed away. We’re in an age where people are seen as content machines and not humans so others feel entitled to their art and feel no need to be kind, understanding or empathetic to that person’s feelings. I’m not wasting my time trying to teach people manners that they should’ve learned a long time ago. I refuse to share my craft with people like that. And to say the quietest part out loud: y’all don’t want black writers around, PERIOD. One scroll through the dash shows that much. As someone who’s written primarily for AOT (not changing btw) and specifically the black side of the fandom, it’s almost laughable at the extreme lengths that ppl have gone through to see it be erased. And I don’t mean getting fics hit with labels or reporting (that failed so they switched to plan B.) since I began back writing in 2020-21, it was obvious that it was the most popular among black girls and I remember ppl telling me to write for them. Hell, it’s the sole reason I even watched. Needless to say, I fell in love with the show and it holds a special place in my heart. However, I realized I didn’t need any of the original material. Not only that, in all the years I’ve been writing, it’s the first time I’ve seen so many black girls resonating and happy with a group of characters. It was the first and only time I’ve seen stories where I didn’t feel as though them being a black character was a hidden secret or toned down to appeal to others (no shade). It was in my face and proud, even if I didn’t personally resonate with the reader or concept of the story. It still felt good coming from a fandom where I was literally the ONLY black writer in it. Fast forward and I clearly see that now, it’s not welcomed. We could sit here and blame it on non-blk (yt) having the problems but that’s a load of bullshit and the only enemies we have are one another. It’s been other black writers who have littered the tags with discourse abt the same stupid topic to avoid new fics being seen. It’s been other black writers who have switched fandoms when they were no longer the ONLY ones bc coexisting is just too damn hard apparently. It’s been other black authors who have made it blatantly clear that they are only interested in seeing and creating stories that are palatable to other races so they won’t be perceived in a negative light or to be seen as one of the ‘good ones’. Even down to not using black reader tags or avoiding coded language. So much so, they are comfortable laughing at anti-black rhetoric being pushed on other apps so as long as their new favs are not the brunt of the joke.
I’m not here to tell anybody how or what to write. I’m not here to say you ONLY have to like one show but what I am saying is that i will NOT be spending hours and days agonizing over a fic for it to be minimized to a joke for a bitch on TikTok. I will not spend the little free time I have trying to crunch and finish a fic for it not do well but watch y’all pile in my mentions to argue over nonsense. And I won’t sit here and watch y’all purposely try to run other black writers away bc they don’t fit ur aesthetic. Fiction is fiction and whether you resonate with it or not, it’s expression. I’m a boring ass country bumpkin from the middle of nowhere, Florida who’s got social anxiety, chronically ill, neurodivergent and is in bed by 10:00. I don’t smoke, never had sex and I literally never leave the house unless I’m grocery shopping. I never have and never will live the life of any of my characters, even the most tame ones. But I write for EVERY black girl and want everyone of them to be seen. The one space where that seems to be allowed is obviously not welcomed anymore. Arguing and trying to defend ourselves against people who are committed to misunderstanding us is pointless. Minimizing us down to ‘baby mama’, ‘hoodrat’ fics, simply bc you no longer like certain characters (many of which you all were writing for not too long ago) is quite frankly clown and coon ass behavior. Watching y’all become enraged by tropes that are used by ever race, every fandom, etc but turning the blind eye bc it suits ur narrative is fucking hypocritical and laughable at best.
I’m not insecure in my writing. Never have been and never will be. I know I pour everything I have into creating the best work I can and it’s for that reason that I won’t allow it to be treated like trash. I have over 250 drafts in my Google docs and best believe, that’s where they’ll stay until I see fit. Although I know it’ll probably mean leaving the last place I have any sense of community and social interaction in general, it’s not worth coming on here angry everyday in defense mode. Its not worth getting out of my character over and I rather just not be around if it means I have to play mean girl. My mind may change and all of this will just have been me getting shit off my chest but as of right now, this account will be archived come February 28th. Thank you to everybody who’s supported me this far and gave me a safe space. I love all of you so very much and hope that we can enjoy the rest of this month together 🫶🏾 🤍
#cherry chats 🍒#tw rant#tw discourse#tw long post#happy black history month lmao#writing#fanfic writer
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Hate or Lust?
Summary: Y/N and Negan get separated from the rest of the saviors for a few nights.
Warning: Negan is a warning himself, swearing, tension, sexual tension.
A/N: I randomly made this with my boyfriend on call! I hope it’s good!!
You’ve known Negan for a while, you were one of his first members. He always seemed to be annoyed by your presence, he enjoyed your work but not you as a person.
You were getting ready to set out with Negan, and a few other of his higher ups to go check out a few abandoned buildings that Dwight said he saw. Of course Negan chose you to go with him. He enjoyed how hard you worked, and how much you’d do for everyone. He didn’t bother to talk to you though.
You walked up to Dwight, slinging your bag over your shoulders. Dwight seemed to have a scowl on his face, never lightening up since Negan burned the side of it. He looked up at you as he fixed his sleeve. “How far away are they?” You had asked and slid your hands into your pockets.
He looked out towards the gate. “…not far away. maybe an hour at most?” He glanced at his sleeve, and then looked at you again. “Big boss making you go?” Dwight knew about the whole thing between the two of you. Dwight was honestly one of your best friends here, so if he didn’t see it himself you would have told him anyway.
With a nod of your head, you heard more footsteps on the gravel ground, slow dragging footsteps that could only belong to one person. “Hey dwighty-boy! You ready?” He stood behind you, looking towards dwight. You turn around to look up at him, which he did not return.
Dwight glanced between the two of you until you looked at Dwight. “Uh.. Yeah.” He wasn’t gonna say anything more, but noticing how there was tension creeping up into the air as Negan stayed put behind you. “You gonna ask the (lady/him) too?” Dwight’s eyebrows furrowed. He knew Negan well enough to know that he’ll never talk to you unless someone mentioned it.
He finally looked down at you, it was your turn to not do it back. “Hey.” His voice was firm, he obviously wasn’t going to enjoy this. You turned your head and looked up into his eyes. His usual smirk wasn’t ever shown when he looked at you. “You ready?” Was all he said, looking up at Dwight again. Your stomach clenched and you looked at the gravel covered driveway. You don’t know what you did to make Negan hate you so much, but it wasn’t a nice feeling.
“yes.” You spat out, it might come off as disrespectful, but Negan doesn’t want to waste time even punishing you. Dwight could be heard entering a truck. Negan stayed behind you, he didn’t make a plan on moving. You heard footsteps behind you from other men, but thinking it was Negan moving you spun around. Then, Negan instead of The Sanctuary in your view had you step back. He looked at you, by choice.
“Watch it, Y/N.” He said firmly, talking with gritted teeth. He held Lucille loosely as he still did not move. His eyes stayed on yours. Your stomach flipped, he never chose to talk to you, or even look at you without reason. So to say you were nervous was an understatement.
Taking a step back, you were the first to stop the staring contest. “Yes sir.” You said, in a quiet voice as you started walking towards the truck you had usually taken, although never keeping the same passenger. You didn’t look back at Negan, but his eyes could be felt on you still. Hopping into the truck with the keys, twirling them before sliding them into the key slot.
Your view was out the window, waiting for the other saviors to get into their trucks. You weren’t sure who was gonna be in your car with you today, so you waited. The door opened which made your eyes dart towards the passenger door, expecting anyone but him to show up. He got into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. Your eyes on him but his eyes on the trucks in front.
You were now gonna have to share a truck with the man that seemed to hate your guts.. Negan. His leather jacket was on but it was now unzipped, Lucille was set on the floor in between the door and his knee. Your truck was the last in line so for him to be joining you, especially as he’d choose anyone but you, it was weird and not like him. “The other trucks were full.” Negan's voice was heard as you realized you were staring at him. Your eyes went back to looking out the window.
“Okay.” Was your response, you weren’t really sure how else you could even respond. The trucks in front of you started so you started your own. Negans presence made an uncomfortable tension. You and him weren’t heads on, but there was an underlying feeling of hatred.
The gates opened to the sanctuary, the few trucks leaving and you started your drive behind them. Usually with whoever your seating partner was there would be at least noises, but with Negan.. There wasn’t even a peep other than the truck's engine being heard. You guys were driving for about an hour like Dwight assumed when the trucks in front came to a slow stop. We arrived and Negan seemed to want to leave as quickly as possible, not even letting you stop the truck completely before he jumped out with Lucille.
You exit your truck after turning it off. Rounding the truck to get to where the other saviors were standing. It seemed like everyone didn’t care to wait for you, but Negan didn’t move until you were close enough to follow. There were two groups of us, although not discussed and just went either way, you weren’t sure which group to follow so you went to the one with Dwight, that just so happened to be the one with Negan.
Entering the house that Dwight chose to go in, someone that you didn’t bother to learn the name of stayed at the door for guard. The room you automatically walked into was the living room, where it looked mostly untouched other than pictures that were clearly taken off the wall, by the fact there were nails left behind. Everyone went into seperate room to search, two in the living room, one in the kitchen, one in the dinning room, and Dwight went into the bedroom on the first floor. Since all rooms were occupied you went up the stairs to go to the first room you saw. It was rather quiet other than the small chatter from the saviors down below. Looking through drawers you found nothing but clothes. Walking over to the bed to look in the nightstand, there were gauze(bandage wraps) which you quickly pocketed for yourself. Hoping no one will notice.
There was a voice from behind you, where the door was. You looked over to see Dwight. “Hey Y/N, find anything?” He entered the room, by how he sounded, he didn’t see you hide the gauze for yourself. You closed the nightstand drawer and stood up.
“Nothing but clothes so far, i’ll keep looking though.” You nodded and went to the other side of the bed to look at the other nightstand. Pulling the drawer open to find batteries, which has you picking them up and throwing them at Dwight. He almost didn’t catch it, he fumbled a little. “Sorry thought you were paying more attention.” I smirked, it was silly banter we did.
Dwight found it funny and finally cracked a smile after how long you’ve seen him without any emotion. He put the batteries in a bag. “Knew you’d find something.” Dwight said and walked towards the door. “Negan said that he doesn’t want to stay here too long, since he thinks he saw a few walkers.” You just nodded at him.
“Thanks Dwight.” You thanked him and he left the room. Taking a quick look around the room to see if there could be any more places to look, not much to look for as this room seemed to be the most bland. Taking a walk around the room before getting onto your stomach to look under the bed. There was liquor. Pulling it out to see what it was you heard footsteps and slid it back under the bed quickly.
You looked under the bed still, pretending like you hadn’t rodin anything. “Y/N.” Negans voice heard, it was a stern way to say your name, and it instantly made you uneasy. Why was he suddenly talking to you so much? “I heard something, what was it?” You looked up at him from where you were laying to see his eyes not at your face, but somewhere around your body. You sighed as you grabbed the liquor, and stood up to show him. Negan quickly smiled when he saw it and took it from you. “Damnnnn. Nice find.” He seemed happy with it, maybe he’ll act like he hates you less. Negan snapped for one of the saviors to take the liquor and bring it to your truck. His hand went to your shoulder, and it made you instantly freeze and you don’t know why. “I’m gonna have some funnn tonighttt,” His tone was bouncing-like. somewhat energetic. “because of you, Y/N.”
Negan then left and it made you speechless. He’s never smiled around you, not talked, not touched, not even looked at you most of the time you’ve known each other. There was nowhere else to look in the room so you left the room. Everyone was already outside taking the stuff they found to the trucks when one savior started to scream about a herd coming. You and Negan were left in the house and tried to run towards the door only to see the walkers already starting to surround the house. Negan saw this as you tried to run out the door and he had quickly grabbed on to your shirt and pulled you against him. “shh.” Negan said quietly. He was protecting you?
The trucks were heard driving off and negan cussed under his breath. They stranded us here without worrying if we were okay or not? Negan's grip is still firm on your shirt. Not letting you move, which made you feel the need to not move an inch. Negan's arm wrapped around your waist as he slowly pulled you back so you weren’t in view of the windows. Why would he care so much about you all of the sudden? “Negan..” You whispered. Which then led him to putting his hand over your mouth.
Negan kept you pressed against him, his arm around your waist and his hand over your mouth. You were hiding from any windows, to not be seen. Everytime Negan heard a noise his hand around your waist got tighter just slightly, but once knowing it okay he loosened his grip. You were unsure how to react to all of this, so you stayed still. Why Negan was protecting you so much was beyond what you knew. Your knees slightly trembled because of the nervousness with both the walker herd and Negan.
When Negan thought the coast was clear he slowly let go of you, but you didn’t move. He leaned down next to your ear. “Y/N.. I think we’re good.” Negans voice was low, he tried to tell you to move it in a way that made it seem less rude. You nodded and stepped out of his reach and towards the door. Your hand went to the doorknob as you tried to react calmly after what Negan had just been doing to you for minutes. When you finally opened the door there was a walker that wasn’t heard or seen and came walking towards you, Negan quickly pulled you back and hit the walker into the door frame. blood and brains dripping from the now dead.. dead guys head. Negan was protecting you left and right now, which only made you confused.
Taking a look outside to view around for anymore close walkers, and when there were none you and Negan quietly ran towards the truck. You didn’t know how to get back to The sanctuary.. You always were following behind a truck that knew where, but you didn’t. “Negan.. Do you remember how to get back?” You looked at Negan and somewhere along the line of when you were checking for walkers and now, Lucille was with him.
He quickly looked at you. “No?! you don’t know?!” He was more nervous sounding than angry. He cursed under his breath. “All I know is we came from that road..” Negan had pointed at the road that you both knew you guys drove down. Starting the truck and driving towards the road. “Those pieces of shit. How could they just leave?!” His hand hit the dash and it made you jump. Negan looked at you before trying to calm down.
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It was hours after then and you and Negan had no clue where you guys were. Ending back up at the houses since you’d been marking where they were at least, made you realize that you both were fucked. Your truck was almost out of fuel and it was getting colder. you didn’t dress to be out this long.
Your truck was parked at the side of the road while you and Negan had reentered the looted house from earlier. There was only one blanket that you always kept in your truck just in case.. so you had agreed Negan used it, although it wasn’t much of a debate since you knew Negan wasn’t gonna let you have it.
He was on the bed in the room downstairs and you were on the couch out in the living room. The colder the night got, the more you shivered. Asking Negan for the blanket wouldn’t do anything, but you had to try. Standing up from the couch and taking a slow stroll over to the bedroom, the door was open but you knocked anyways. Negan wasn’t asleep but he was close to being. “What?” Negan said with a quiet, raspy voice, clear on how tired he was.
You took a step into the room. “It’s really cold.. and i was wondering if i could have the blanket..?” Asking Negan a question felt scarier than it should have.
He sat up and faced you. “fuck.. fine. but you’re staying in this room with it in case I want it back.” He agreed and unwrapped the blanket from around himself and threw it at you. You didn’t want to push anything so you wrapped it around yourself and you were going to sit on the floor before Negan spoke up again. “Don’t be an idiot. Get on the bed.” His tone was a low grumble.
You hesitantly sat on the bed next to him, wrapped up in the blanket. At times like these you wish that there were more things to do than sit in silence, but without music, or drawing supplies, no games, it was all very boring. Negan laid down next to you, covering his eyes with his arm.
It was awkward, in the same bed as the guy that you used to think hated you, but now that he saved you twice you weren’t sure. You could feel the annoyance radiating off of him with how he was acting. “You didn’t have to give me it, you know..” You spoke quietly. This made Negan uncover his eyes to look at you.
“My leather jacket is enough to keep me warm, don’t worry about it.” He put out, turning over on his side with an audible groan. You kept sat up for a little while so it didn’t look like you were copying him, until you also laid down. Cuddling up with the blanket as you pretended he wasn’t there, so you could ease your mind into sleep faster.
—————
Waking up in the morning, your blanket was still around you, but you felt another thing on you. You looked over at Negan only to find out his arm had been wrapped around you while you both slept. Maybe Negan accidentally moves a lot in his sleep, and would most likely hate waking up with him touching you at all, so you try to quietly and gently move his arm off of you. What you didn’t expect was his arm to tighten around you. His unconscious form wouldn’t allow you to move his arm off of you.
The only thing you could do was wait for him to wake up. Which obviously took longer than you’d wish. He most likely fell asleep after you then. Waiting for him felt unnecessarily long, because all you were doing was lying there silent and still. Probably ten minutes you were sat there with his arm wrapped around your waist until you felt him move, a small noise coming out of him as he finally took his arm off of you and sat up completely. To not make it seem like you were awake, you waited a little longer. He got up and walked out of the room, which made it perfect for you to finally ‘wake up.’
The blanket you used, you left on the bed. You didn’t need it as much anymore since it was day and it would get warmer out. Walking out of the room a minute after Negan did, you saw him looking out the window. “Hey Negan.” You said getting a little closer. He turns around to look at you.
“Hmm?” He hummed and looked back out the window. “Hi?” He questioned why you asked, understandably so since you guys usually never talked.
“Do you think they’ll come back for us?” Your question made Negan clench his jaw and face you again.
He looked at you for what felt like forever before he finally answer. “They better.” Was all Negan came up with. You noticed that he was getting upset, so you took that as a sign to shut up. You looked out the window as well to see what Negan happened to be looking at. There wasn’t anything out there, must have been just hoping for them to come back.
Negan and you were waiting around almost the entire day doing nothing. Since the saviors that so rudely left you took almost everything from the houses nearby there was next to nothing to actually do. You ventured into the other houses but again, all were looted by the people who left you. No sign of them even coming back yet.
You were outside laying in the grass looking up at the sky that was slowly getting darker. Negan was standing by you, you couldn’t tell if he was watching you or just watching for anything in general.
“you look dumb.” Negan spoke up, looking down at you. Which made you look up at his direction.
“I don’t see you finding anything to pass the time.” You glared, although not really fun it’s better than nothing.
Negan nods, “Yeah, and i don’t see any food on the table either, so maybe help me find some before it’s too late?” His statement made you stand up and wipe your clothes from any collected dirt.
Looking over at him, his eyes were closed. “Yeah? and how do you expect to find food? we’re not hunters.” Your statement made his eyes open. (Daryl randomly appears and hands them squirrels -Ray)
Negan stared at you for what felt like minutes yet again. His eyes weren’t only on your own, but seemed to go up and down, what felt like judgement. “I mean if they don’t come back, we’ll need to find food somehow.” Negan finally broke the silence.
“Well no duh Negan, we aren’t just gonna let ourselves starve??” Your hands go up as you shrug, annoyed. Negan’s eyes went to the ground. You sighed. “Well if we can’t hunt, since we both don’t know how i assume, how do you expect us to find food?” You said, a more logical reply.
Negan looks around. “We’ve only been around the houses we’ve already taken from, we can move out more. See if there’s anything around?” His question was reasonable, probably the most reasonable thing he’s said all day.
You walk over to the truck, which has Negan following you. As you both get in the truck and you start it, you don’t really know where to go from here. So basically the rest of the day was spent driving around. Not much talking happened yet again between the two of you, like two kids that hate eachother but the teacher paired you up anyways.
“Stop.” Negans voice was heard suddenly which made you stomp on the breaks. More or less the sudden noise scared you. “Jesus christ not that fucking’ fast!” He glared at you for your abrupt stop.
“You said stop randomly, what would you have done?!” You glared back at him. Negan ignored your comment and got out of the truck. Were you to follow him?
Hoping out of the truck to see why Negan had left, was a mistake because he started taking a piss. You sighed and walked back to the truck. He could have at least told you why, so it wasn’t weird that you followed him. Negan noticed but said nothing. You looked around the place Negan has forced you to stop at, seeing if there was anything other than woods… there wasn’t.
As you make it back to the houses from earlier.. yet again.. you found nothing nearby. Your truck was almost out of fuel, and you didn’t have any food. If Dwight doesn’t come back soon it’s gonna end up with one of us death, if not both. Making your way back inside had Negan basically pacing. This was the first time you’ve seen him actually nervous.
Walking over to him had him stop and look at you. “Are you.. okay?” Was the only thing you could think to ask. Negan sighed.
Negan nodded and began to pace again. Although you could tell he was lying, he also wanted to be seen as a ‘fearless leader.’ So of course he’d pretend. “Those fuckers left us, and they didn’t even come back!” He exclaimed, as if you didn’t know what was happening. You came up to his pacing self yet again and gently grabbed his arm to get him to quit pacing.
He stopped and looked down at you. “It’s just us. You don’t have to pretend you’re alright.” You quietly said. This made Negan let out yet another sigh.
“Okay, I’m not fine, alright?” He was still looking down at you, and your hand was still holding onto his arm. “How can i be a leader when my group isn’t with me!” He sounded frustrated.
“I’m still here.” You said which made Negans facial expressions soften. “You’re still my leader, Negan.” With what you said made Negan finally break the eye contact.
You both stayed silent, in the same position for a minute. “As much as I love being a leader, with only one follower it’s not easy.” He finally spoke up. It was your turn to sigh.
Your arm gently slid down his arm to his hand. “As much as you seem to hate me, be annoyed by me, even hate being around me. You’re not alone here.” You paused, he didn’t seem to pull away from your touch at all. “We’ll make it back to the sanctuary, you’ll be your usual leader self again. You can go back to hating me then, but for now, instead of treating me like you can’t stand being around me, let me help. Talk to me.” You spilled out what you’ve wanted to say all day. It was dumb to say half of the stuff you just said, but you had to tell him. You couldn’t stand seeing him pretend to be okay while he’s clearly frustrated and nervous. He’s your leader, and for him to be one he needs someone to follow him. You will be that someone.
Negan was speechless as he looked back up at you. You stared at eachother for minutes before he finally said something. “I never hated you.” This caught you by surprise. He paused. “You being one of the best saviors had made me nervous. That maybe someday you’d think you’re better than i was, so i avoided you.” His eyes fluttered closed, and his face scrunched up as he paused yet again. “You were always one of the best, ever since you joined the group. And it’s not an excuse for me to have been such an asshole towards you after all you’ve done for me. I’m supposed to be your leader, but i’ve treated you like absolute shit.” His voice became shaky when he finished. His eyes opened again.
You didn’t know how to reply at first, I mean what could you even say to all of that. You thought of anything else you wanted to say, about you two, or about how he felt. “Negan..” You whispered his name so he’d look at you. “I let you lead me because you’re a good leader. Even if i thought you hated me the entire time, everyone has a reason for a wall to be built up. To hide certain people away. I never once doubted you as a leader, because I know I couldn’t lead. especially not as many people as you do.” This made you both squeeze eachother hand. You wanted to continue but you didn’t originally know how do you waited until words came to mind or Negan spoke.
Without a word from either of you Negan opened his mouth to speak. “I didn’t only build up a wall for you because i thought you’d take my place. There was something about you that i noticed right away.” He paused. His body turned to face you more directly. “I saw how brave you were, how you could defend yourself, and i wanted you in my team. But when i got you.. I messed up. I’d have been better to you if I didn’t think the way I did, or feel the way I do.” He seemed like he wanted to say something specific but he couldn’t.
You rubbed at his hand. “Negan, take your time. We’ve got plenty..” This small remark made you both smile softly. Negan just nodded.
His eyes closed for a moment before he looked directly into your eyes. “After my late wife died, i thought i wouldn’t like anyone. I was wrong.” Negans voice was quiet but firm, whatever he was getting at meant something. The fact that he mentioned the one person he swore to never mention.. made this even more emotional for the both of you. “What i’m trying to get at here y/n… is that I think I might like you. And that’s why I wanted to act like I hate you, to hide the fact I fell for someone after Lucille.” His eyes never left yours, so yours didn’t leave his.
You stared at eachother for moments until you felt your cheeks heating up. How did you feel about Negan? He was rude but you always like him.. “Negan.. I can’t say I like you yet. But i’m willing to try.” Your reply made Negan smile, and go to hug you. As you were hugging for what felt like forever you heard tricks outside. Which made Negan hide you behind him as he looked out the window. It was the familiar trucks, The saviors were back.
Getting back to The Snactaury, you and Negan got to finally explore what was talked about when alone in that house together.
TAG LIST!
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#jeffrey dean morgan#negan#negan smith#the walking dead negan#twd negan#jdm#jdmorgan#negan smith x reader#negan x female reader#negan x male reader#negan/reader#negan and reader#negan x you#negan twd#negan x reader#negan imagine#negan fanfiction#negan x y/n#negan smith x you#negan smith x y/n#jeffreymorgan
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Do you think Elias knows how much he owes to Jane Prentiss bc like. Can you imagine if she never attacked the institute. Jon never has his heart to heart about believing in the supernatural or his paranoia arc etc etc he just continues doing whatever the fuck he was doing indefinitely bc there's no outside eldritch horror to derail him. Elias was probably sitting up in his office giggling and kicking his feet bc a web touched guy got deposited on his doorstep when in reality s1 Jon is closer to Gertrude than he ever realized he was. Vampire killers? On drugs. Guy got replaced? Head trauma. Werewolves ate some dude? Happened in america, not his problem. Yes he believes in the supernatural but he literally cannot be bothered to give a fuck. This man spends hours of his day disrespecting Gertrude's whole filing system and yet knows fuck all about archiving himself, but is somehow enough of a hardass to convince everyone around him otherwise. Elias was too busy thinking about how much he scored with his Archivist preorder bonuses that he failed to realize if Jon had it his way half of Jonah Magnus's 200 year old trauma collection would be in the dumpster out back bc he thought it was bullshit and a waste of his time. S1 Jon was just built different
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Hello everyone, bunnies or not (due to recent events). Today we're going to talk about serious things.
Over the past few weeks I've been getting more and more negative messages in my inbox. To be honest, I didn't really care at first, but the last few days have become a real test of my patience.
Even today. I just posted my first response to the Unholy Hour in the last two weeks, and a ton of negativity, disrespect, criticism and just plain rude behaviour poured in in response. So I want to make a few things clear.
I have created this blog as a safe and free space for everyone. It's a place you can come back to and not feel like you don't "fit in". There are no bans, restrictions, judgements, criticism or rudeness here. This is a place where everyone can find themselves and be who they want to be, not who society tells them to be. Damn, if someone wants to be a cat or a bunny, what the hell do you care, look after yourself, find a hobby, leave people alone. I will not tolerate people on my blog who tell other people what to do and label them. If you find me strange, unpleasant, rude, please unfollow me or even block me so that my messages do not appear in your feed. It will be much better than receiving all the crap you write to me anonymously.
Tagged question: Am I giving enough warnings? Am I using enough banners? Do I give enough indication that this is NSFW content? If you are confused by my work, you don't have to read it! You can stop at the beginning, but please that we are all adults here. Seriously, are you having sex, watching porn, discussing these topics with friends and not getting enough warning? Again, this blog is a safe and free place without judgement or negativity. Someone even mentioned rape in my work, and I'm not completely stupid for not mentioning it in my warnings. All my work involves "absolute consent". I do this absolutely freely and voluntarily, I like writing, I love it, but the more negative messages I get, the more I lose the desire to do it. I love myself very much and I don't want to waste my emotions with endless negativity, it's easier for me to close the blog and live my life.
Feedback. Bunnies (I'm still hoping), when I ask for your opinion, PLEASE give feedback in the comments. You may not "like" the post, but I need to hear from you. Writers need to know what to do. I don't want to waste hours of my time on something you're not going to be interested in. Every work I do is a huge effort. I don't have beta readers, English is not my first language, so imagine how much time I spend proofreading my work, checking grammar, punctuation, style. That is why I need to communicate with you. I know this is an uncomfortable conversation. I'm not a drama queen, I just want respect and understanding. This whole situation has also caused my activity to decrease.
Listen, if for some reason you feel uncomfortable, the atmosphere on the blog is unpleasant, or my works are not suitable for you due to the large amount of graphic sexual content, please stop following me and reading my ffs. There are many other authors with great work that can satisfy your need for content.
I don't want to get hate that I don't deserve. First of all, it is your own choice, I have never forced anyone to do anything. Respect the authors, be grateful for the effort they put into entertaining you.
I hope I have given you my thoughts.
And on a lighter note, the Unholy Hours are on tomorrow. I hope everyone has a good day/night.
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A HH Lucifer-centric AU 4/?
PART 1 , PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22
Thanks to your support, I am so committed to this. When I finish this, I plan to make it into a long, proper, one-shot- better format and everything!
I've been doing these chapters in the middle of work lmao, so if you see a typo or some edits, it's me rereading it after work.
I'm trying to include more Alastor but he's pretty hard to write.
I used Velvette so much here cos I love her as that bitch you love to hate. She is obviously the spokesperson of the Vees
---------------------------------------------
The hotel lobby is filled with unbearable silence as hell's overlords and high members of the Ars Goetia arrive one by one.
Just a few hours ago, Alastor heard from Carmila Carmine that the king had called a meeting for the top ruling people of hell. Charlie doesn't know why her dad called for it in the hotel.
The Ars Goetia (minus Stolas) were whispering among themselves and shooting the sinner overlords dirty looks every now and again. The overlords were good at pretending they couldn't hear anything. Apparently, they at least have the sense to know that that would be a fight they cannot win.
The hotel's residents collectively claimed it as their spot. Husk is talking with Angel quietly, keeping him distracted and out of view of Valentino, Vaggie is holding her spear as she keeps a close eye on the strangers in their home, Nifty is obsessively cleaning a corner of the bar (Husk keeps telling her that it is still dirty just so she won't venture elsewhere), and Cherri is playing with an unlit bomb in her hand.
Rosie and Stolas decided to approach Charlie and Alastor at the bar at the same time, both slightly bowed to her.
Charlie: Prince Stolas. Rosie.
Stolas: Hello, princess.
Charlie: How's Octavia?
Stolas: Via misses your outings together. But she is fine. She's with her mother today.
Rosie: Not that I'm not happy to see ya, Alastor. But why exactly are we here? Our Carmila has not stated a reason why.
Alastor: You know as much as me, my dear.
Stolas: It must be dire. His majesty rarely calls for the Goetia's presence. He is not here yet?
Charlie: No. He went down in Sloth earlier. I'm worried. After what happened yesterday, I..
Rosie: Yesterday? Did something happen, sweetie?
Charlie realizes the slip up and backtracks.
Charlie: Nothing, Rosie!
Rosie gives her a look that tells her they're going to be talking about it later. She gives the overlord a weak thumbs up.
Meanwhile, Velvette decides enough is enough and they have wasted too much time waiting.
Velvette: Ugh! Vois, let's go. This is a fuckin' joke.
Carmila: Velvette, calm yourself.
Valentino: Why should she? I had very important shit to shoot today and me being here is making me lose money.
Alastor: Then perhaps you should step down. Having to attend the bare minimum duty of their title must be so difficult for someone so... undeserving.
The Radio Demon has a giant patronizing grin plastered on his face. Alastor's comment prompted Vox to speak up.
Vox: Oh, you timely piece of shit! Fight us right now, Alastor!
Alastor: How unbecoming. Throwing tantrums in front of royalty!
Velvette: I for one, don't want to sit here waiting for a no-show fossil
Charlie's demon side flares as the demon insults her dad.
Charlie: How fucking dare you?!
Random Goetia: You shall know better than to disrespect your king, insolent pest.
Velvette: Ha! You think we're scared of a bunch of birds?
Alastor: Should have known you three cannot behave for a simple meeting haha!
Soon everyone was yelling obscenities at each other, filling the hotel with chaos. Before a proper fight could break out, the door opens with a bang, silencing every demon.
Lucifer has arrived, following him were the other Sins. They were arguing amongst themselves from behind him. Charlie can only catch glimpses of what is being said as voices overlap each other.
Beelzebub: Bel-
Mammon: Are you fuckin-
Satan: Wrath is-
Leviathan: We cannot-
Asmodeus: Evacuation-
Belphegor: Grown another mile-
Lucifer says nothing the entire time and just takes a seat in the middle of the semi-circle table he conjured up. With the way the table was placed in front of everyone else, Charlie gets the feeling of deja vu of her hearing in heaven. But now her dad will be the one passing judgment.
Most of the sinners in the room back up as the Sins continue to argue with their full form.
Lucifer sits back and raises a hand and the yelling stops.
Back then, she never really understood why demons were afraid of her dad. He was always a silly and happy guy when spending time with her. But one time, she sneaks into his rare meetings with the Sins and sees why he was called the devil.
The anger she saw then could have given her Uncle Satan a run for Uncle Mammon's money.
Lucifer: Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I will cut to the chase. I have called you all here because something is brewing at the very depths of hell. Something that may affect us all.
Stolas: The Ars Goetia is at your disposal, sire. But may I ask what is this about?
Belphegor: I can answer that. A few months ago, an anomaly appeared at the edge of Sloth. It was not a problem until-
She pressed her touchpad and a hologram screen appeared showing the infected ground.
Not a single demon didn't widen their eyes.
Angel: What the fuck is that?
Belphegor: We wouldn't have called you all here if it was not this severe.
She taps and shows a mutilated demon pig.
Belphegor: This is Patient Zero. An animal on a nearby farm made contact with the anomaly. It instantly infected the whole body, controlling the creature whilst killing it slowly. If it can affect an animal like this, we fear what it may do to-
Velvette: And what do you expect us to do about it exactly? Why the fuck would we care about some old place we can't even go to.
Belphegor is briefly stunned by the interruption but ignores the sinner's disrespect.
Belphegor: Because you would have to be naive to think that it will stop in Sloth. We cannot be too careful.
Velvette: So you think we would risk our lives? Yeah. No thanks. How do we even know that it will affect us? It's just a pig. The worst we can get is horrible floor decor.
Lucifer stands up and moves silently towards the middle for everyone to see.
Lucifer: Free will does not mean you are free from consequences.
The king starts to remove his shirt to everyone's panic, except Belphegor.
Mammon: Woah woah, mate. The fuck ya doin?
Lucifer shrugs off the last piece of clothing to reveal the glowing, infected marks. It has not been a day since he touched it but the veins are already covering the entire right half of his torso.
Charlie: Dad!
The princess attempts to go to her father's side but Vaggie holds her back.
Lucifer: Shall we proceed without any more interruptions?
---------------------------------------------
What to look forward to in Part 5:
the rest of the meeting
more dialogue from the other Sins. Cannot decide what personality to give to Leviathan.
My HC for Satan is he's like one of those old butler types but has a jacked body (I know he has that workout app, but I'm leaning more of the liver king type of a gentle strongman with anger issues. I don't want him to be a fuckboy gymbro)
more badass lucifer
the Vees getting scolded like the children they are
#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#hazbin lilith#vivziepop#hazbin alastor#hazbin angel dust#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin spoilers#hazbin vaggie#hazbin valentino#hazbin niffty#hazbin sir pentious#hazbin cherri bomb#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel niffty#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel cherri bomb#hazbin hotel sir pentious#hazbin hotel sinner#hazbin hotel angel dust#radioapple#appleradio#duckiedeer#alastor x lucifer#lucifer x alastor
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—COOL WITH YOU
006. poor girl got hated for being hot (written + 0.8k words)
you have a dance practice today with your team, therefore, you went to the store in advance and bought snacks so that you would have something to eat. after filling the bags with a bunch of stuff, you happily walked back to school.
you've missed this routine so much. spending school days with friends, having lunch in the school cafeteria, dancing after school, and tired but happy to go home. you missed it so much while living in a completely different continent for a year.
“can't wait to go home, i am so tired” gyuvin groaned and barely walked, holding heavy bags in his hands.
“we haven't even started,” haerin looked at him sceptically and lightly slapped him on the back.
“don't be a bore, gyuvin. i know you missed it too,” wonyoung exclaimed and yes, she was right.
gyuvin, your childhood best friend, missed those days when you were with them and lay tired together on the floor in the studio. even though he doesn't talk about missing you, but shows it with his actions. he would repeat your habits or eat your favourite snacks, as taki has noticed.
“yes, i did,” he rolls his eyes and shyly grins.
but before the practice, you had one more class so you patiently waited until the end of the school. however, something didn't let you focus properly on the lesson. you only had to turn around once to see jungwon who was looking at you and turned away as soon as you caught him. ‘that's strange’ you thought and got back to your work.
after a few hours of chemistry class, you finally got free and headed to the sports hall. your friends were already there, waiting only for you, so without wasting any time you went to the studio. it was not so far from the sports hall, so you guys arrived fast.
“he was just looking at you?” taki asked you, after hearing your story of what happened in chemistry class.
“no, he was staring!” you exclaimed and wanted to say something more, but some female voices and laughter you heard from the studio immediately caught your attention. “does someone have to be there at this time?” you asked, looking confused at your friends.
“uhm no, at this time, the studio should be free for us,” wonyoung checked the time on her phone and had a confused expression as everyone else.
you carefully opened the door and saw a bunch of girls in cheerleader uniforms. they all looked at you with some strange expressions on their faces and the girl who was standing in the middle was approaching you with slow steps.
“hyejung, what are you doing here? today is tuesday, our time to use this studio,” wonyoung got closer to her and the smirk on Hyejung's face pissed her off.
“why can't we use the studio? don't be so greedy,” she rolled her eyes.
jungwon and his friends who were passing by the studio stopped at the door after hearing sounds from inside.
“but we have indicated the day and time when we will use the studio, haven't we?” haerin stepped forward and stood beside wonyoung.
“oh please shut up, it's not a big deal,” hyejung crossed her arms and this is when you lost your patience, after quietly standing and observing the whole situation.
“that's enough, hyejung, right? sorry, didn't quite catch your name. haerin clearly said that you discussed the time of using the studio. i don't know why you would prefer to practice in this small studio rather than in a large sports hall where all of you, 15 people, would fit. even so, you are embarrassing yourselves for not keeping your words and being irresponsible, hence it makes you look disrespectful and dishonest,” you confidently ended your speech, looking at how hyejung’s face began to boil and blush with anger and shame, probably.
she was speechless, everyone were. even jungwon and his friends who were standing outside and listening to it all. yet they were incredibly amazed by your determination and confidence. hyejung walked out from that place with her fellow cheerleaders. she was startled to see jungwon behind outside of the studio and got annoyed as soon as she saw niki’s, ricky’s, hanni’s, and eunchae’s smirks.
“omg yn, you are insane! insanely cool!” taki hugged you behind your back and you couldn't help but smile at your friend's compliments of you putting hyejung in her place.
still smiling, you noticed several people standing at the door out of the corner of your eyes and immediately met with jungwon’s gaze, who was both surprised and impressed. however, your eye contact was interrupted because of eunchae who ran into your studio.
“yn!!! that was amazing! you are so cool,” she exclaimed with so much joy and just stood there admiring you.
“she is really something else,” you grinned and again caught jungwon staring at you.
“okay eunchae, we have to practice now” you walked the youngest to the door and closed it, giving her and the others a last wave.
“hyejung deserved that, yn should get a reward for doing god's job,” niki said, walking slowly down the hallway along with his friends.
“yeah, someone had to do it and i am glad that it was yn” hanni agreed with him still remembering hyejung’s face that was as red as a tomato.
“alright guys, i have to go now, my extra classes are starting soon” jungwon suddenly declared and left.
prev — masterlist — next
iris notes :: hii!! how are you guys doing?? i hope that everyone feels great! btw i am currently in barcelona and omg i love this city sm
୨୧ taglist ! @kpopstanmeg @super-amberlynn @j1nniee @kxr0mi @enhaz1 @stqrlite @jwsflower @ilovewonyo @captivq @lprww @hannahhbahng @nishimurasgirl @wonyoungsvirus @ilvsoup @ajybeo @love-4-keum @fakeuwus @wtfhyuck @wiltspring @aerivrs @mrchweeee @miumiuoi @soomelon @soobawrz @nichoswag @seungmns @wonhoonsluv @jebetwo @gothhyucks @dimplewonie
bold - can't tag you
send ask to be added to the taglist!
#—cool with you#k labels#enhypen#enhypen au#enhypen smau#enhypen x reader#enhypen fic#enhypen social media au#jungwon#enhypen jungwon#enhypen jungwon fluff#jungwon smau#jungwon fluff#jungwon x reader#jungwon social media au#jungwon fic#le sserafim#newjeans#ive wonyoung#&team#zb1#loviwonnie
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hey! i love your writing so much :) it’s so week thought out and really true to each character without being stereotypical, i love it. this may be an odd request, but i was wondering if you could head canons for the Papa’s based on Slut! by Taylor Swift? You don’t gotta listen to the song, i just really love the “if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once” theme n like being slutshamed but really is just two people in love. either party can be the “slut” :)
"Slut!" Headcanons
I’m not sure if I responded with how you were expecting anon, but I hope you enjoy them! Also I wrote most of these after working from 6am to 2pm, and then going back to work 11:45pm to 9am the same night with only maybe two hours of sleep in between. So I apologize for any mistakes!
Primo
Of all the Emeritus brothers, Primo would have the least reaction to having a partner with behavior that is perceived as slutty
In all his years, Primo has seen and experienced it all. Why waste time by holding back what the body and mind wants to express?
Encourages you to wear however revealing of outfit as you desire, because Primo would never think to feel jealous of someone else seeing your beauty
Always enjoys your affection, feeling humbled and flattered that you are so openly forward about your attraction and love for him
Doesn’t care for the term slutshaming, because in his eyes there should be no shame in any of that sort of behavior
Primo also does not believe there is no shame when it comes to you, because he knows that the cause is from the love that you feel for each other
Secondo
Of all the Papas, Secondo seems the most well equipped and or has the most experience being with a partner that society would view as being slutty
Being a party animal, he meets a lot of people that would be similarly viewed, and he has been with more than a few
More than happy to let you dress and act however you wish, as long as it is always him you are going home with at the end of the night
If you ever ask if an outfit is too revealing, Secondo will tell you so, but will insist you wear it. Let them see, if only to make them jealous of what they cannot have
Also won’t admit it, but Secondo loves the attention you give him. It keeps him feeling young whenever he is with you
Sometimes if Secondo gets too drunk, he is the one that will act like a slut, especially if you are in a nightclub
There are never any doubts about your love and affection for each other
Terzo
It should go without needing to be said, Terzo is the slut in this scenario
The way that Terzo interacts with Omega on the stage is just a glimpse of how he interacts with you
Is not afraid to throw himself all over you in public, even in situations where he probably should not. Why should he ever hold back his feelings for you?
When you are out in public, Terzo will often make a show of throwing himself at you whenever the opportunity strikes. He loves it when all eyes are on you both
Happily wears the title of slut as if it were a badge of honor, always reminding you that it is all just for you. He is all yours
To everyone in the Ministry, you are both a set of happy love drunk fools
Sometimes however, Omega does have to reign Terzo in a bit to keep him from taking things a bit too far in public. They don’t need Sister Imperator on their case again
Copia
This poor man is so easily flustered, you will have him permanently trying to hide his bright red cheeks beneath his Papal paints
Getting him to admit that he loves seeing you in tight revealing outfits sometimes takes a bit of work, but it is so worth it to see the way he drools over you
Zero issues with other people seeing you in such outfits either, because he would never disrespect you in such a way or treat you as if you were his property. Plus, despite his awkward shyness, Copia is very secure in knowing that at the end of the day it is only him that gets to see you out of such outfits
It is such a foreign concept for Copia for someone to so openly show their attraction and affection for him that sometimes he will get a bit overwhelmed at times. So there may be times you have to dial it back a bit as to not break the old man
But to the same end, Copia is just as eager to similarly display and share his love for you so openly
Actually it is thanks to you that Copia feels the confidence to wear such skin tight lace up trousers, or even how he acts when up on stage
#ghost the band#the band ghost#cardinal copia#papa emeritus iv#papa emeritus x reader#papa emeritus 4#ghost fanfiction#asks#papa emeritus iii x reader#papa emeritus ii x reader#papa emeritus i x reader#pap emeritus iv x reader#terzo x reader#secondo x reader#copia x reader#primo x reader#headcanons#ghost headcanons#papa emeritus iii#papa emeritus ii#papa emeritus i#terzo#secondo#primo#requests
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We're stopping development
First I'd like to apologize for the silence. I suffered another heart attack shortly after arriving home, which left me in critical condition. After that I truly tried my hardest to recover, but I simply cannot get myself into a remotely functional working state. Development had slowed down considerably since two of my team had almost entirely disappeared, and the holidays took up everyone else's time. Leaving me to try and charge ahead blindly.
I loved this project dearly, it was a wonderful beacon in the dark when I was in a terrible situation, and I loved crafting its story and putting my twists on the characters, excited to give back something to the TWST community. But sometimes, life just doesn't work out. And after a long long battle with my first heart attack, then getting diagnosed with a chronic illness from it, it just continued to get worse and worse.
I don't want to give up entirely on Four Nights, but I do not have the strength to be the lead developer. With this in mind, I'll be releasing the entire design doc with all of our planned routes and story beats for everyone to read. We never did finalize everything, but my belief is if anyone likes what we were trying to do, and wants to take it and use it. They should be free to. I don't want the hundreds of hours I spent writing and putting work into this to be wasted. That would be disrespectful to everyone who had worked or supported this project.
The patreon has been left up with all of its public posts and previews. I will post any remaining content on there and tumblr. The Ko-fi has also been deleted, and after this post goes live, I will start compiling all of our notes and documents into one post that should be coming in the next few days. I'm still severely ill, so it may take a little while. I'm sorry about this.
I'm mostly sorry to all of you, who waited an entire year for a demo I couldn't deliver. What build we have will be made public, and even include the unfinished sprites. I'll also be releasing the entire script, including what didn't get to be released into the build. All side works I created will also be released.
I once again apologize. I know I can't control my health, but my brain has always nagged me that there should of been more I could of done. Especially when I was so confident I could do this. I wanted to do better for all of you. I'm sorry.
Thank you for following development after all of this time, and I hope to see you around somewhere.
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On the kick of relationships I feel were a bit wasted on lack of expansion and fandom media literacy.
Volgin and Ocelot. While they definitely do not stem from the same problems as Kazuhira and Quiet like I talked about in my other post, I still feel they aren't explained enough, hours of exposition but nothing quite explains why they are the way they are. Part of that leads to their allure as characters, the years of character building we don't hear or see, but their subtle relationship really falls flat on a lot of gamers I've found.
Into them themselves before I get into all the meta stuff.
Volgin doesn't waste time torturing and shocking people who minorly inconvenience him. He kills Granin pretty much just for fun, shocks and sexually tortures EVA, tortures his own men from the simplest lack of respect, and nukes a facility which kills multiple of his countrymen. All of these disturb Ocelot, but he never says much about it until it comes at the pain of Russia itself. (i.e killing Granin who benefits them and Russia in turn, not truly caring about torture when he learns its for a spy, feeling bad ahout killing Russian men even those who go agaisnt the GRU, and the nukes destroying Russian soil and countrymen)
However any time Ocelot calls Volgin out on his sadistic and cruel behaviors, Volgin never says anything truly negative back to Ocelot. For a man who does awful things to everyone else the way he hesitates to hurt Ocelot whether through physical or verbal means was always interesting to me.
Especially this interaction after Granin is killed by Volgin.
Volgin speaks down on Ocelot, however this isn't done in an insulting way, it's simply the truth in Volgin's eyes. Volgin raised Ocelot since he was 16, Ocelot is still decades younger than him, and is still ranks below.
To Volgin, Ocelot needs to be weeded out himself, of the care he deeply holds for Russia. Volgin undermines Ocelot and how he feels towards the war and cruelty surrounding it, that his feelings have no place within the war and that they're a threat to their organization. While on the surface it refers to how Ocelot is too hot headed and jumps the gun, that he won't be able to focus if he is always judging others. On a deeper level, it read to me as Volgin cares for Ocelot. That the judgement from Ocelot doesn't just break the GRU's unity, it breaks Volgin's unity with Ocelot.
Volgin doesn't want to get rid of Ocelot, that much is evident when in the final boss battle when this is their exchange.
Ocelot shoots at Volgin, disobeys orders, disrespects his title, etc, etc. Despite this, they have the same back and forth they always do. Volgin simply keeps ordering him until Ocelot just leaves. It comes across as Volgin trusts Ocelot to find the bombs, either that or views him too inferior to do any real damage on his own devices. All and all, Volgin doesn't care about Ocelot's disrespect towards him when if it was anyone else they'd be dead.
Speaking of the boss fight, it really added more to their relationship.
THIS ESPECIALLY
Volgin comes so close to shocking Ocelot, but he can't, simply just a warning. Then in the next scene, Ocelot looks to Volgin for reassurance on his aid to Snake. This back and forth always ends each word from Ocelot with an obedience to Volgin.
The fact Volgin and Ocelot have whole conversations with each other from body language alone and the way Ocelot himself relies on body language really is such a good detail
The way they simply talk with one another also always felt like a parent to a child to me. (Maybe a very bad parent but still) In a way, they are a very fucked up found family.
Ocelot kidnapped by The Philosophers as a baby, sent to the GRU to be a spy at 16 and being guided through the rest of his years up until the end of teenage life by Volgin who he knew he'd have to betray at some point. Volgin who was raised by a member of The Philosopher.
While family has never been something they have been expanded on with, I think that speaks more. Neither Ocelot nor Volgin have any semblance with family. They are each other's only sense of that. Through the traitorous attitude of Ocelot and through the hedonist sadism fogging Volgin, they are the only people who get each other but ultimately are not fond of each other in most scenarios. They serve as a twisted parallel of The Boss and Snake to me.
Which sucks even more when The Boss is literally Ocelot's real mom, don't know how to thread that in either, but it's just ughhh literally custody battle between The Boss and Volgin every time they're on screen together with Ocelot
I could talk forever and ever about the analysis between them, but onto the meta. My issues are not within any prejudice or forced characterization like Kaz and Quiet. However, I feel they come from the writers thinking they were not interesting enough. They don't put a lot of their relationship on the surface and by the time players realize their relationship the game is over. MGS is really a game that always deserves a second playthrough to fully grasp its ideas and characters.
Volgin and Ocelot didn't grasp a lot of people because they weren't pushed and pushed like EVA and Snake. They were an afterthought in the game while I think they really could've been given more, considering how much of Volgin affects Ocelot. Ocelot liked torture because of how Volgin raised him, Ocelot has a complicated relationship with Russia partially due to Volgin, and Ocelot's relationships with people are forever shadowed by how Volgin raised him.
I think they really could've been something so interesting, but so much of it was swept under the rug by other relationships and topics within the game. I don't know, tell me what you think this is mostly spit balling about two characters I really like. 🐆
#metal gear solid#revolver ocelot#volgin mgs#looking back on this definitely couldve written this better lol
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Hello, how are you? Would you be willing to do some argument scenarios prompts, please? Regardless, you have my thanks!!
List of “we’re not fighting, we’re arguing. learn the difference” prompts
“I already told you I didn’t want to talk about it, yet you kept insisting!” “That’s because I fucking care about you!” “Well, did I ask for you to care care about me?”
“Oh, don’t you dare go pinning the blame on me.”
“This isn’t… This isn’t about you. Why are you always making it about you?”
“How did we end up like this?”
“Don’t give me that fucking look.”
Character A getting on Character B’s last nerves, which causes Character B to burst at Character A, hurtling hurtful insults at them they don’t actually mean.
Character B bursting into tears in the middle of an argument.
“This isn’t working. We’re going back and forth.”
“Why does anything I say never get through your thick fucking skull, [name]?”
“I don’t want to do this with you here.” “That’s what you always say whenever I’m trying to talk some sense into you.”
Character A always using their age to dismiss Character B’s side of things even though they’re only a month older than them. “You’re only one month older than me, you fucking shit.”
Arguing over the dumbest shit. We’re talking about petty shit like: “Why’d you buy this type of bread? You know I don’t like this type of bread! Why do you never listen to me?” or “You put the toilet paper roll the wrong way again! It’s always like this with you! The fucking disrespect!”
“So I’m the one at fault?” “That’s not what I’m saying—” “Well, it jolly well sure sounds like it!”
“Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t fucking lie to me this whole time.”
“I don’t want to argue about this anymore.”
“I hate you.” “You don’t mean that.” “Right now, I do. More than anything in the world.” “More than the I love yous?” “…You’re playing unfair.”
“…I need space.”
“You ruined everything! I hope you’re happy.”
Arguing over the same bullshit until one character says, “You never change, do you? You never fucking change. Always so stubborn; always thinking you’re right.”
“Stop arguing with me in front of the kids!” “For the last time, they’re not our fucking kids.”
Character A getting sick of arguing with Character B so they plug in their ear phones and put the volume up loud enough so they can’t hear Character B bitching about.
“You know what? Fuck you. I’m not going to waste any more of my time, arguing over something you clearly think you’re right about. Which, by the way, you’re fucking wrong about.”
Character B being done with Character A teasing them, which leads into a pretty big argument, with Character A calling Character B “too sensitive for their own good”.
“Why don’t you go fucking elope with them if you’re going to side with them every single time?!”
Drunken arguments where neither of them are making any sense.
Character A and Character B arguing because Character B is a self-sacrificing idiot and always puts themselves first over everyone else and Character A is tired of seeing them be like this — they just want them to care about themselves for once. Is that so hard to ask for?
The look of disappointment, during an argument, coming from Character A which causes Character B’s heart to break.
“You’re so unlike the person I fell in love with at first. Who… Who are you?”
“Give me an hour. One hour, and I’ll… I’ll be able to talk to you about this properly without me wanting to yell at you, or end up saying things I don’t mean.”
“Calm down,” Character A says, which ticks Character B the fuck off. “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down, you asshole,” Character B spits.
#dialogue prompts#writing prompts#otp prompts#prompts#writing scenarios#request#angst prompts#how the hell have I not already done this yet???#anon thank you for reminding me how much I love angst#sorry it took me so long to get to this#there's been a backlog of asks and i'm on holidays so yeah lknfewkn#argument prompts
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You Again?
Pairing: Jiu x Fem!Reader
AU: Non-Idol
Warnings / Misc. -- Some Angst, Smut, Fluff, Happy Ending :)
Word Count: 9,955
Summary: Y/N and Jiu have history. Unresolved tension, unanswered questions, lingering desire: the inconvenient kind. But when they both unwittingly agree to attend a mutual friend's vacation trip, they're forced to confront their feelings head on and learn to live with one another again.
Why, exactly?
Because they just so happen to be rooming together.
Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.
A/N: Hi everyone! I apologize for my absence, but I hope you enjoy this piece :) I have more stories coming, so stay tuned! 💖 Make sure to eat something good today and drink plenty of water.
💖 Happy Reading 🌹
◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚ ▸◂ ❚ ⊱ꕥ⊰ ❚
This has got to be a day for the record books. One of the worst, most unfair in all of human history.
Well, let’s be realistic: one of the worst in your life. Maybe “human history” is a bit of a stretch – though you can’t exactly blame yourself for giving into the dramatics at a time like this.
The sound of your best friend sighing in frustration brings you out of your annoyed daze, pulling your attention back to her.
“Y/N, you’re acting like a child. It’s only for one night.”
“Exactly, Y/BFFs/N; one night is far too long for the two of us to be around each other.”
She scoffs, but you don't budge. There's no way you're accepting this without a fight.
"Why don't we have somebody else switch?" You suggest.
She shakes her head, dismissing you. "Most of the girls already went up," she explains, motioning behind herself to the cabin. Sure enough, you can see shadows moving within the rooms – forms hidden behind pulled curtains, almost taunting as they shift around in the visible lamplight.
“And I’ve already told Jiu about it.”
You roll your eyes.
"Plus we all sorted this out beforehand." She shrugs. "Since you both joined at the last minute, it only makes sense to put you together."
Now it's your turn to sigh. Suddenly, an idea pops into your head.
"How about I sleep in the car?" You brighten at the thought of your own scheme; quite literally anything would be better than being trapped between four walls with Jiu.
"Ha ha, very funny," Y/BFFs/N mocks, clearly not amused. "You can't stay out here. You'll either freeze to death or waste all of our gas trying not to, and I don't think you really wanna do that."
A disappointed tut leaves you; your warm breath turns to a puff of white air before dissipating into the night.
Alright, maybe it's colder than you thought. Maybe.
"I'll talk to the others tomorrow morning and see what I can do, okay?" She offers, bringing a hand up to rub the back of her neck. She looks tired, and a pang of guilt washes over you when you notice it.
"Okay. I'm sorry." Regret shines in your eyes, but it's quickly eased by the growing, sleepy smile on her face.
"Don't worry about it," she reassures you, looping an arm with yours. The two of you fall in step together, heading back to the cabin.
"I know it's difficult, after everything. But it's just a few hours. I'm sure you can survive that, no?"
You shake your head, though you're grinning.
"We'll have to see. I'm sure she'll make it hard."
Y/BFFs/N slides her free hand along the polished oak handle of the porch's glass door, opening it for the two of you.
"Just be civil and it'll all be fine. You don't even have to talk."
The resulting glare you send her makes her laugh.
Tonight will definitely be the death of you.
–
Across the first floor, tucked away in the kitchen, Jiu is hard at work. She stands in a pair of shorts and an oversized sweatshirt, cleaning the grill she helped prepare dinner on earlier. A few strands of her hair have evaded the grasp of her ponytail holder, coming down to frame her face as she scrubs away.
“Why don’t you just save that for the morning?” Someone unseen inquires, sounding half asleep.
She turns around to find one of your friend’s other invites moseying over to the center island, bottle of water in hand. Her face is scrunched up some, and the small bags under her eyes immediately remind Jiu of who she is.
It’s Sua, the person who pre-gamed too early and overexerted herself when the group first arrived at the cabin earlier this morning. She’s been nursing a headache for the past few hours as a result.
The low groan that she lets out as she hauls herself onto the high-top chair makes Jiu giggle, but she stifles it to the best of her ability. The younger girl has managed to brighten everybody’s moods all day long despite feeling how she does; she's truly a gift.
“I want to get it done so I can rest easy,” Jiu finally answers.
Sua rolls her eyes. “Sleep now, clean later. This is a vacation for a reason, you know? We deserve to procrastinate.” She raises her bottle to her lips, taking a long drink.
“You do that, I’ll clean,” Jiu resolves, nodding to herself.
“Suit yourself, pabo.”
Sua folds her arms on the countertop and lays her head down, yawning as she nuzzles her cheek against the soft material of her sweater. Jiu glances at her and smiles, amused. She appreciates her nonchalance likely more than anyone else on this trip; it’s distracted her from her worries.
Namely, you: her biggest inconvenience.
When news reached her of Y/BFFs/N’s plans for a week-long getaway, she was intrigued. Work had been a hassle, she was stressed, and all in all she just needed a break. So, she pulled some strings, got her shifts covered, and took the time off.
All was well for the first few hours, when everyone was at Y/BFFs/N’s house, readying up to make the long drive to the forest resort; but then you made a surprise appearance there, busting in and looking just as good as you did the last time Jiu saw you.
Effectively, it ruined her mood.
You’d glanced at her, then, when you first walked through the door. She was the one closest to you, having been on her way to get a refill of the drink she had in hand. Truthfully, it felt like slow motion; for a second, it was like the two of you were back to where you had been all that time ago.
When you were still together.
You crossed the threshold with an eager smile, luggage bags weighing heavy in your hands before you allowed them to slip off your fingertips and land on the ground with a soft noise of impact. She met your eye for a fleeting moment, and she unconsciously took a small step toward you. Her lips began to pull back in the soft grin that you always told her you loved, mimicking the happy expression on your face. For that foolish second, she was transfixed. Foolish.
It was as if you were looking through her; you hadn’t actually perceived her at all, really. She was a passing face as you searched for Y/BFFs/N’s, only caring to register hers.
Just before Jiu could utter a word or reach you, a loud cheer rang out from behind her. The entirety of the group had picked up on your arrival, word spreading fast throughout the living room once one of them caught a glimpse of you.
She cursed quietly and retreated a few steps, allowing the excited crowd to gather around you and visit.
You happily shared the story of how your boss – who’s always regarded you with a distant indifference – finally showed her humanity and adjusted the schedules so that you could have some time off. Not the entire week, of course, but a few days to go and be with your friends. Everyone seemed genuinely happy to see you; even the ones who barely knew you, having only heard of your existence through the stories that Y/BFFs/N had told them. It all made Jiu feel like the odd one out.
But she could remember a time when just hearing your name made her heart flutter, too, so she couldn’t exactly fault them.
From a distance, she watched you. How you moved. How your hands danced around as you explained your stories. The way your lips pouted and pursed with every syllable, almost taunting her.
She thought she had gotten over you months ago, after things ended. She thought she was stronger than this; but clearly, moving on would be impossible with you around. That was to be done separate, no more strings attached. The idea of having to look at you, to hear your laugh, to be near you in such a way and pretend like everything was fine seemed unfathomable. With every trace of you gone, maybe, maybe then she could move on.
Anything less destroyed even the chance of closure for her. But, she supposed, closure would just have to wait a week or so.
—
25 Minutes Later
Put lightly, Jiu is avoiding you.
After washing the grill and dishes, she took her time with leading a groggy Sua back to her room and making sure she got settled fine. She made some small talk with some of the other girls in passing, but nothing as serious as she was looking for.
She’d be happy to debate the meaning of life right now if it kept the two of you apart for a little longer.
But with lights out rapidly approaching and everyone dragging themselves to their respective rooms, she knows the chances of that are nearing zero. So, begrudgingly, she makes her way up to the suite.
With every step she takes, she wonders what you’re doing in there. Are you already asleep? Reading? Watching television? Maybe you’re scrolling mindlessly on your phone. Maybe you’re not even in there at all.
The questions pile up in her mind until she eventually gets fed up and decides to be unaffected for once. Or, at least, to appear that way. She shouldn’t care regardless, and she reminds herself of that fact. All the two of you have to do is make it through the night, and then something can be arranged so that you can stay far, far away from one another. Not so hard, right?
Wrong. Certifiably, absolutely, unequivocally wrong.
When Jiu opens the bedroom door, she finds you fresh out of the shower. A lacy bra adorns your upper half, while a towel is wrapped around your waist; you’re bent over your suitcase in search of some shorts to wear.
She looks away quickly, but it’s too little too late; even as she shuts the door and turns around, pressing her forehead to the wooden surface, she can picture your body.
She mentally curses the water droplets that run their paths down your chest and abdomen, free as they edge closer and closer to where the towel meets your waist. They touch you in a way that she never can again, and she hates that.
More specifically, she hates the fact that she wants to.
Your eyes land on her as you stand up, shorts in hand. A heavy feeling of embarrassment settles over you.
“Uh, sorry,” you mumble, not knowing what to do.
She turns back around to face you after a moment, but she refuses to meet your gaze. If she does, her resolve will surely falter and crumble.
“There should still be plenty of hot water left if you’d like to take a shower,” you offer, extending an olive branch of sorts. From the angle you have of her face, you can see relief spread across it.
She wastes no time in sending you a quick thank you and slipping off to the safety of the bathroom, leaving you to question what the hell just happened.
Most of the time, she’s engaging and bold; her liveliness is one of the things that made you fall in love with her. Even at the end of your relationship, when things were falling apart, it was never like this; she never refused to look at you as many times as she had today, or been so weary anytime you entered a room. She never used to despise you so much, and as that sinks in you realize just how much it hurts.
Despite everything, you hate how unbothered she is.
While you’ve watched her from afar all day, agonizing over the curl of her lip when someone said something witty or the sound of her easy banter with the other girls, she’s clearly been fine. Paying you no mind doesn’t seem to be a challenge for her anymore, and you dislike that more than you thought you would.
Truth be told, you hadn’t prepared yourself for that. With the scope of your relationship and the lack of closure you received, it only made sense for you to assume she’d miss you as much as you miss her. To be just as affected now, by it all, as you have been.
But that’s clearly not the case.
—
Once she’s alone, Jiu takes the opportunity to steady herself. Her hands find their way to the cool marble countertop of the sink, and she draws in a deep breath.
She can’t stand you.
Now, from just that small interaction, all she can think about is you. The subdued lighting of the room only brought out your features more, leaving shadows to fall across the parts of you that were untouched by it. Your muscles pulled and strained as you sifted through your bag, parting clothes left and right in search of your shorts. She could see your face, too, looking just as kissable as always.
She really can’t stand you.
Defeatedly, she turns the water on. The cold streams down, unaccompanied by any real heat whatsoever; this will be a freezing shower, she’s decided. She doesn’t trust what she might do otherwise, alone in here with her thoughts of you and steam clouding her judgement.
The subtle throb between her legs is enough to warn her; she knows she’ll do something stupid if she doesn’t stop herself now, before it has the chance to start.
When she strips out of her clothes, she does her best to think of anything other than the way you used to undress her. How you sat on your knees before her, slowly inching her pants down as your warm lips left kisses in their wake. How you’d take your time with her panties afterward, holding eye contact with her and stopping your motions anytime she looked away.
Even now, goosebumps rise to her skin at the memory. It was torture then, but for entirely different reasons.
She was promised sweet release then, no matter how much you may have edged or tested her. Now she'd consider herself lucky to even be rewarded with a conversation.
Shaking the thoughts from her head, she steps into the tub. The frigid water makes contact with her back, and she has to sink her teeth into her lower lip to keep from shouting. But if this is what it takes to keep you out of her mind, then so be it.
–
The muscles of your neck and shoulders ache as you sit at the mahogany desk on the far side of the room, half-heartedly working on the report your boss asked you to start. It was what you had to give in order to take the time off, which is only reasonable. Even still, you're having a hard time staying focused.
The desk faces one of the large bay windows of the room, overlooking the forest and mountains that surround you. Darkness completely envelops the land, save for the occasional house light far off in the distance. Moonbeams hit the treetops, coating them in a sparkle that contrasts with the midnight sky.
Nearby, an electric fireplace crackles, reminding you of its presence. It's situated as the centerpiece of the lounge area of the suite, providing the room with some additional warmth and light from its place beneath the television. Faux flames waver within it, vibrant as they mingle with one another. Some burn brightly while others glow dimly; the wild versus the tamed.
Despite everything, maybe this trip will do you some good. Escaping the hustle and bustle of your life back home is always a plus, and being in nature never fails to ground you again. Some circumstances might be unsatisfactory, sure, but you're determined to not let that stop you from enjoying this time away. You deserve it, after all.
Just as you find the inspiration to start your reporting again, another one of your distractions makes herself known.
From the bathroom, a pleasant humming fades in; it's Jiu, reciting the chorus to one of her favorite songs. She breaks into vocals occasionally, switching between the two.
No matter how much you wish you could, you can't deny that it sounds perfect, coupled with the atmosphere that surrounds you. Given its range and ease, her voice has always been a comfort; getting sick of it is simply impossible. That fact annoys you, but at the same time you give up trying to fight it; you know there's no use.
It takes you back in more ways than you know how to handle, but you don’t complain. For now, you’ll bottle up this feeling and store it away for later, when you part ways and return to the chaos of your own lives.
Maybe then you could open such a Pandora’s Box.
-
A few minutes later, she finally emerges from the bathroom; you attempt to ignore the urge to perk up. It's difficult, no doubt, after being left to your own devices for so long. Knowing she's so close and yet so unattainable doesn't help either.
You don't turn around, just in case she isn't fully clothed.
It isn't anything you haven't seen before, but you're afraid you don't have that kind of permission anymore. The last thing you want to do is overstep.
Jiu wishes you'd look at her.
One thing she misses the most about you is your attention. You always paid it so freely – so willingly – rarely taking it off of her. It was ready for her anytime she wanted it, mainly because she had you so enraptured.
Just the same as you’d always watched her, she watched you. She lived for the way your eyes lit up whenever she smiled or laughed, shining beautifully in a way they never did otherwise. She ached over how they darkened when she'd strip, parting her legs for you and putting herself on display.
She was the art and you were the beholder. The only one she ever wanted to share herself with.
But now is a totally different time. You don't even so much as glance in her direction when she comes out, with her towel draped precariously around her body in a way that she was sure would drive you crazy.
It’s disheartening, but it doesn't make her want you any less. As she opens her bag and retrieves her clothes, slipping them on, she keeps an eye on you through the standing mirror in the corner of the room.
Your legs spread as you readjust in the chair, making an attempt to rid your muscles of the tension within them. They're tight with the culmination of all the stress you've felt lately.
When you allow your head to loll back, rolling from one side to the other, Jiu has to stop her wandering hands. The angle of the mirror allows her to see the way your brows knit together, pain and pleasure intermingling. She doesn't know how much longer she can stand this.
One of your hands finds its way to your shoulder, rubbing a knot there, and Jiu gets an idea. Is it wise? Not in the slightest. But is she going to give in and go with it? Absolutely.
What was it that Sua said earlier? This is a vacation for a reason. She can escape sound judgement and reason for now. Surely they'll return in full once you're out of the equation again, anyway.
She deserves to be a little reckless for once.
"Y/N," she calls, getting your attention. You wordlessly turn to look at her.
A bottle of lotion rests in her hands; she nervously toys with it.
"You can use some of this for your shoulders, if you want. It works pretty well."
You consider her offer. "Thanks, but I'm alright," you declare, turning her down. "I can't reach what really hurts anyway."
A beat passes before her eyebrows gently raise. "I can help you," she says, trying to keep the eager tone of her voice at bay.
You pull a face. "Are you sure? You don't have to do that."
I want to, she thinks to herself.
"It's not a problem." She shakes her head, cementing her decision. "Just come here and lay down."
You stand and relent with a soft noise of acceptance, almost imperceptibly. She takes notice of the way your eyes track down her body before dropping to the floor, lingering just a second too long for innocence.
She dismisses the thought at once, not wanting to give herself hope.
When you cross in front of her and pause, though, slipping your shirt over your head with a subtle glance at her, it’s all she can do to restrain herself. The fading sunburn that you received earlier in the day, stretching across your nose and cheeks, looks like a natural blush from this close.
She wants to kiss it.
“Thank you in advance,” you say over your shoulder, carefully laying down on your stomach. The fluffy comforter welcomes you in full, partially distracting and preventing you from overthinking what you’re about to experience.
She takes a steadying breath and releases it, glancing up at the ceiling like she’s pleading with a higher power.
"Don't mention it," she dismisses, getting on the bed after you.
In her mind, she debates the best way to go about this. Where should she sit? Overstepping the unspoken boundaries you've established isn't something she wants to do.
Her fingertips play with the hook of your bra, sliding over the material. "Can I…" she trails off, both of you aware of what she's asking.
"Go ahead," you permit.
She unclips the fastener and watches as the two sides fall down, fully exposing your back to her. Once you slip it off of your arms and toss it towards your suitcase, her fingertips ghost over your skin, tracing the gentle curve of your spine.
She dons a musing smile when she notices goosebumps appearing in their wake.
Perhaps she was wrong. Maybe all along, you've been the art and she the beholder.
Her knees go to either side of your waist as she moves to straddle you, settling down onto you. Once she's sure you're comfortable, she retrieves the bottle of lotion from its place on the bed and squeezes some out onto her fingertips.
It's smooth as it slides against them, medicated and cool. Her favorite brand makes it, and she never leaves the house without it. She'll be thanking her lucky stars endlessly for that habit after tonight.
Something crossed between a hiss and sigh fights past your lips when she makes contact for the first time, spreading the chilly cream across your shoulders. The attempt she made to warm it beforehand clearly didn't work as well as she thought, and she has to stifle a laugh at your reaction.
Beneath her fingers, your muscles tense and jump; you do your best to relax them as she pushes harder, kneading them with care. She does so with a steady rhythm, using the base of her hands to loosen you up first before focusing her fingers on the more persistent knots. Every circle of her hands against you warms the lotion up more, convincing you to relax and give into the relief she’s able to provide.
You close your eyes, wanting to focus on her motions.
What you failed to prepare yourself for, though, is the notion that she’s closer to you than ever. Only separated by the material of your shorts and hers, she sits atop you, her warm thighs trembling slightly with effort anytime she has to push herself up to reach you better.
When she steadies herself on your lower back, splaying a hand across it, you can feel the subtle way her hips rut against your ass as she readjusts her position.
Maybe you're just imagining it.
Serious work is put into leaving that idea behind, but at every opportunity she gets, Jiu seems to enjoy feeding your delusion.
When she accidentally gets too much lotion at once, her solution comes in the form of leaning down and running her hands up your outstretched arms, reaching as far as she can to further spread it. In the process, her front presses against the length of your body; her breathing is shuddered, too, just like yours.
Did she do that to show you it’s mutual?
If only you knew.
Her eager eyes rake over your body, pleased to have you like this in front of her. At her mercy, reacting to the faintest of touches. Possessing this kind of power again makes her feel brave in a dangerous way; should things continue like this unchecked, she might do something impulsive.
But, is she to be blamed? No; she rejects that.
The subtle rock of your hips is far guiltier than her, adding fuel to the fire of her imagination. The way your hands fist in the sheets, fingers twisting in a show of pain and pleasure whenever she hits a particularly sensitive spot, are in the wrong; the sight makes her wonder, for a desperate second, how they would feel in her hair.
Her motions – now more wanton, unafraid of touching you – grow a little more rough, shying away from demurity. They’ve arrived at your waist now; a risky place to be.
She can tell that the appropriate amount of time for two exes to spend doing something like this is dwindling fast; the window of propriety will be closing soon, leaving any further contact between the two of you up for suspicion. She’s aware of that, and yet she has no desire to stop.
In this game of yours, she’s merely a pawn; that’s something she realizes when the sound of a guttural, appreciative moan from you makes her heart flutter wildly.
She freezes in place, taking a cautious breath; she shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as she did.
A few beats pass… one…. another…. before you ultimately take her stunned reaction as a sign of discomfort.
“Uh, thanks again,” you say quietly, suddenly feeling ten times too exposed and five hundred degrees too hot. A couple taps to her leg gives her the memo, and she climbs off of you.
Embarrassed and upset with yourself for doing such a thing, you refuse to even so much as make eye contact with her again.
An apology from you fizzles into the air, but she’s still too overwhelmed to fully process what just transpired. It all happened too fast; she wants to go back and relive it, but it’s too late. You’re already slipping your shirt back on and burying yourself under the covers, humiliated. When you cover your face with the pillow, debating on smothering yourself, she spares you by reaching over and turning the lamp off.
She lifts her side of the covers afterward, getting in beside you. You face away from one another, back to back, establishing distance once again.
This night is proving to be anything but predictable.
—
2:07 AM
Insects perform their songs outside, languidly calling to one another from high above – nestled in the leaves of the tree tops – and far below, amid the grassy trails and branching networks of hills. All is calm… until it isn’t.
Suddenly, the stillness of the night is interrupted by a recurring, unintelligible noise.
The first time you hear it, you ignore it, opting instead to bury your head a little deeper into your pillow. It's probably just the house settling or something outside, you reason.
The second time, you're annoyed enough to pause your attempt at restful sleep with the hopes of discovering its source and stopping it.
It comes again a little later, but from somewhere you never would've expected. Rather, you suppose, someone.
Your name takes the shape of a mumble as it slips through Jiu's lips, altered slightly from how her cheek is pressed to her pillow. Any other time you might find it exciting to hear her say it, but here and now, you can't say you do.
Warmth spreads to your cheeks as your sleepy mind recalls what happened just a few hours ago, making you relive your embarrassment.
The noise comes again, and a little louder this time; an irritated groan leaves you as you take one of the throw pillows and nudge her, attempting to quiet her. It seems to work for a minute, but just as you settle back down to rest again, something even worse happens.
"Y/N… ah," she moans, her voice breathy and ragged.
Is she...?
Your eyes open wide when you realize what's taking place right beside you.
Jiu is totally having a sex dream about you.
What a revelation to have.
She writhes in search of relief, causing the covers to fall down her body and expose more of it. Her pajama top, too, has ridden up and ruffled in her pursuit of friction.
She looks an absolute mess, you realize, as you roll over to look at her. Her hair splays across the pillow in every which way, her chest rises and falls at a faster rate than normal, and her thighs push together to lessen the throbbing between them. Your blood runs cold when you notice that she isn’t wearing her shorts anymore. Only a pair of lacy, white panties conceal her, gleaming in the moonlight with a softness that begs to be touched.
Hot and bothered is the only way to describe her.
"Please," she whines, desperation hanging heavy on the tones of her voice.
Selfishly, you don’t wake her right away. Seeing her like this, so close and beautiful, is something you don’t want to give up again. At least not yet.
Her full lips part as her head pushes into the pillow, exposing her neck. Her muscles are pulled taut as she squirms; her hands fisted in the sheets at her sides. A thin sheen of sweat is visible on her forehead, showing just how affected she is.
Maybe you should play nice and put an end to her suffering…
Her hips begin to rock, slowly at first; the motion draws a soft sigh from her as she finally gets some relief. Your body begs you to touch her in some way, feeling your own desire grow at the sight of her.
Unconsciously – and to prevent you from reaching out to her – your fingers thread themselves in the cover that's thrown haphazardly over you. You bite your lip to keep it busy; otherwise you'd be tempted to wake her up with your mouth, as she's asked you to before.
Only when your own arousal becomes too much to bear do you decide to end this little game.
She whimpers when you move in closer, still a world away. Her hand falls on your thigh, however, making you falter for a moment. It's warm and dangerously close to your center, trembling slightly against you. Her nails threaten to leave indentations, should she flex her fingers the right way.
Unable to deny yourself such a simple pleasure, you allow it to stay where it is.
"Jiu."
She doesn't stir. If anything, the sound of your voice only drags her further under. Her breath hitches in time with another stutter of her hips.
You'll have to try harder.
“Jiu, wake up,” you whisper, leaving a kiss on her cheek. Your lips hover nearby to utter her name again, should they need to.
Gently, you bring a hand to her shoulder and shake it, hoping to coax her out of her dream and back to reality. After a moment, your plan works; her eyes open gingerly, blinking a few times to adjust from her daze.
“Y/N?” Confusion is prevalent in her voice, coupled with her drowsiness. It’s cute, really, and it takes you back to all the mornings you would wake up by her side.
“It’s me; I'm here,” you reassure her, moving your hand to her hip. Now with your arm stretched across her body, you can feel the warmth radiating from her. It starkly contrasts with the chilly air of the room, making you want to hide away under the covers and pull her in close.
But, of course, you refrain. That’s not something you can do anymore.
Her dark eyes shine in what little light the room has to offer, gazing up at you with a sweet innocence that you find endearing. She's vulnerable in this state, and yet by the way she shifts closer in your arms, she makes it known that she trusts you.
You watch as her gaze travels down your arm, towards where your hand still rests against her hip. Momentarily, she looks as if she's questioning something within her mind – attempting to piece something together.
"Y/N, did we…?" She trails off, unsure.
"Did we what?" You push, testing the waters. You have an idea of what she wants to know, but hearing her say it would be so much better.
Surprisingly, she puts her hand over yours, keeping it in place.
"Did we have sex?" The question comes out in a husky whisper as she makes an effort to be quiet.
You shake your head in reply as a slightly humored smile works its way onto your lips.
The movement draws her attention to them; they're a beautiful shade, with the moonlight hitting them just right. She can't find it in herself to look away.
A few seconds pass before you speak again; her hand grips yours a little tighter.
"It was just a dream. You–"
Your explanation is cut short by her lips as they press to your own in a swift kiss.
Reckless.
You pull away at once, almost like you've been burned. Why would she do that?
Both of you pause, regarding one another. Your eyes work hard to decipher her intentions – what she wants – through the darkness of the room, as if they have such a gift. Hers do the same, searching your face for the answer she wants.
She gets it in another form, however, as your hand slides higher on her waist. Her heart lurches in her chest, its rate increasing somehow. Part of her is afraid you can feel it; but, truthfully, that's exactly what she wants. If you could feel how badly she needs you in this moment, maybe you'd show some mercy and help her.
Maybe.
Tension hangs heavy in the air of the room as she slips her hand higher, too, moving it between your thighs. The heat that's come to pool there encourages her, compelling her to cup you through your clothes.
You gasp, earning a smile from her. You clearly aren't as over her as you pretend to be.
Empowered, she rolls you over, trading your positions. Now she hovers over you as you lie on your back, waiting with bated breath to see what she'll do.
Her hand slides up and over the waistband of your shorts slowly, edging closer and closer to your center with only your panties separating her from you. Your eyes flutter closed in response.
"I'm going to kiss you again," she whispers, sounding more confident than ever. "If you want me to stop, tell me. Okay?"
You nod, trying to stay still. Fighting the urge to rock your hips into her hand is easier said than done.
She leans into you, letting her body mold into yours as she shuffles closer. She replaces the hand between your thighs with a leg, giving you something to grind against. You thank her by slipping your hands beneath her top and pulling it over her head.
"Beautiful," you whisper against her lips, as she presses them to yours again. You take her into your arms in a safe embrace, sighing into her mouth when her bare chest rubs against you. The thin material of your shirt does little to obstruct the feeling.
Though the shadows hide it, a deep, crimson blush warms her cheeks. She can taste the cinnamon toothpaste that you used earlier and smell the familiar scent of your hair products. You still use the same ones, she realizes.
Her leg flexes instinctively as you cup her cheek and deepen the kiss, tilting your head to the side. As you raise your hips to meet hers, she slides a hand up to your chest to offer it some attention. A pitiful noise leaves you when she makes contact, cupping your breasts. She pulls away from your lips to admire you, wanting to see the effect she has.
“Such a pretty thing,” she compliments, feeling arrogant when you bite your lip to stifle a moan. She toys with you like a plaything, switching her movements every so often to garner different reactions. You’re restoring her confidence without even trying; such sweet oblivion.
What she doesn’t fully grasp in the moment, though, is that your arrangement is very much so a two way street. You demonstrate the power you still have over her as you take hold of her hips, pulling them down as you thrust up to meet them.
Just as her thigh is between your legs, so is yours between hers; the mutual relief you receive at the motion entices you, making you repeat it.
She curses into your ear, the sound so full of raw desire that you nearly lose all sense of reason right then and there. Her head falls against your shoulder in ecstasy as she revels a little longer, enjoying the heat that spreads throughout her body the more you touch her.
It’s just like it used to be in so many ways, but somehow new. Still exciting. Still everything she hoped for.
Her lips find their way to your cheek in the darkness, leaving a trail of kisses downward, along your jawline and neck. They’re desperate and needy, accompanied by her shuddered breaths as she attempts to convey everything you’re making her feel. She can only cross her fingers and hope that it’s mutual.
“Come here,” you instruct, tapping her leg. She understands in an instant, wordlessly repositioning herself so that she’s straddling your waist now. The new angle is even more comfortable, and she sits back to give you a better look at her body as a way of expressing her gratitude. Her perky breasts are on full display, looking absolutely divine above the lines of her abs. You run a finger over the latter, tracing the hard-earned muscles in admiration.
Subtly, her hips begin to gyrate. She wants the movement to be tortuous, starting slow and building up until you can’t take it anymore. It’s only fair to give you a taste of your own medicine after all this time.
“Shit, Jiu,” you exhale, glancing down to where you’re joined. Her panties glisten as she writhes, displaying the wet spot that you’ve caused; when her grinding becomes a little sloppier, you can feel her slick spread to your abdomen.
"You like that, baby?" She muses, breathing heavy. You nod vehemently, not quite trusting your voice enough to speak yet.
You splay a hand across her pelvis, using your thumb to tease her clit.
She shakes as a surprised, broken moan slips out of her mouth. It’s louder than either of you expected it to be, and you find yourselves wanting to laugh for a moment.
“Play fair,” she warns, glaring at you. “...unless you want to wake everyone in the house up?” It’s posed as a question rather than a statement.
“I wouldn’t be–” you pause, exhaling when she presses into you a little harder, cocking a brow, “...opposed to that, necessarily.”
A sexy smile plays on her lips, making them look more kissable than ever. “No?” Something dangerous shines in her eyes.
“Try me.”
She bites her lip, weighing her options. You asked for it.
Her voice is whiny when she speaks again, and about five times louder than necessary at that. “I need you, Y/N. Please…” her hands thread into her hair exaggeratedly, playing into the show she’s giving. “Fuck me–”
You sit up at once, clasping a hand over her mouth and using the length of your body to push her backwards and pin her down against the bed. Adrenaline surges through your veins as you remain deathly still for a few tense seconds, trying to make sure her little stunt didn’t actually wake anybody up.
You didn’t really think she’d do it.
The sound of distant footsteps fills the hall, a series of padding and waiting, before the latch of a bedroom door clicks. The floorboards creak… someone's weight shifting from one foot to the other as they peek into the hall.
Jiu smiles against your palm, feeling every thump of your nervous heart.
When she wraps her legs around your waist and slips a hand between your bodies, your eyes screw tightly shut.
"Stop," you whisper, the noise like harsh wind on a calm night.
Her wanting eyes peer up at you, observing. The situation is delicate, so that's exactly how she'll treat it.
Slowly, she places her free hand beside her head on the bed and glances at it, inviting you to hold it. Upon hesitantly removing your own from her mouth, you thread your fingers with hers as you pin it down.
Innocently, she kisses your neck again, just above your pulse point. Her warm breath tickles your skin, only further stirring the fire within you.
"Do you really want me to?" She asks, voice sinful and rich. Her lips still, full and tempting, awaiting your answer.
Another door opens somewhere else in the house, followed by heavy footsteps. Someone trekking to the kitchen, it seems. Your mouth runs dry.
Her fingers toy with the hem of your shorts, edging them down little by little. "Say it again and I will," she promises. "Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop."
You sigh as she pulls your panties to the side, finally slipping her hand past the material. She finds your clit easily, with no real effort necessary; she knows your body now just the same as she did before.
"I…" you start, fighting back a stutter. Two of her fingers dip down to your entrance, gathering up some of your wetness. "...I can't."
"You can't what, Y/N?" She moves her fingers left and right, teasing.
"I can't say I don't want you," you groan, annoyance bubbling up within you.
"Why not?" You can tell she's smirking just by the sound of her voice.
"Because I'm sick of lying," you admit. "I've always wanted you."
Her cocky attitude falters.
A beat passes.
All footsteps outside retreat back into their respective rooms, and closing doors resound shortly after.
Effectively, the two of you are alone again.
Silence prevails following your confession – an eternal moment unbroken by any words of reciprocation from her. It lends your mind to chaos, filling it with worry.
You shouldn't have said anything. This was a mistake.
Embarrassed, you sit up and remove yourself from Jiu, moving towards the edge of the bed. She reaches out for you, though you don't see it.
"I'm sorry," your head shakes, discontent. "I shouldn't have–"
"Shush," she commands, surprising you. She refuses to let this end like before, with you retreating and shutting her out.
Your eyebrows raise as you turn to look at her; she still lays where you left her, only now she's propped up on her elbows.
"Don't say you regret it. Please." Her voice sounds small.
"But I thought…"
Her eyes remain on you as she sits up, carefully moving to sit next to you on her knees.
"I never stopped either, Y/N. I just couldn't believe you've felt the same all this time." She explains, not wanting you to misinterpret her silence any longer.
Your fingers toy at your thighs, still jittery with nerves. She notices, and lays a comforting hand on top of them.
"I've missed you," she adds. Softly, quietly. So as to not disturb this process. Together, you're beginning to pick up the pieces of what you let slip through your fingers before.
"Me too," you reassure her, bringing a hand up to caress her cheek. She leans into your touch, letting her eyes fall shut.
The walls she so adamantly built around her heart are lowering, little by little, and the notion scares her. If she gives herself to you tonight and you end up walking away, she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to recover.
“I’ve got you." The phrase sounds like a promise from your heart to hers; it’s as if you read her mind. “I won’t let things get in the way like before.”
She looks at you again, peeking her eyes open. The earnest look on your face is sincere enough to convince her of anything. “I’ll spend however long it takes proving it to you, Jiu.”
Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “I believe that.”
“Good,” you say, releasing a small breath of anticipation you hadn’t realized you were holding in.
She squeezes your hand three times, reminding you of the past.
Nostalgia befalls you, both in good ways and bad. So much regret exists between the two of you, centering around the breakup that neither of you really wanted in the first place. Life got in the way, then, and you were both too naive to fight against what you thought were fate’s currents.
It was decided that if you couldn’t be together, you’d have to settle for the ghost of one another.
Jiu found you in midnight moonlight, shining brightly amid the darkest of hours. You ruled from high above, with your impact spanning further than you ever realized.
She found you in the sound of laughter – the kind that starts by surprise, bubbling up from within and spilling out in a way that couldn’t not be contagious. The kind that everyone appreciates when they tell a joke with their fingers crossed, hoping it lands.
In warm tea and fireside reading you resided; a comforting hug on winter’s coldest day.
But traces of you were left behind in unwanted places, too, like fingerprints on a window. No matter how many cycles of washing and drying her sheets went through, they still smelled like you.
Her skin still remembered the way you touched her, igniting a fire that only you could put out. Her lips remembered your taste, knowing nothing could compare. She tried, for a time, to replace the imprints you left behind; but her efforts were in vain.
You were her mirage in the desert; a distant, elusive dream. Glimmering with untapped potential, waiting to be caught. She ebbed, you flowed. That’s how you would be, then and forever.
Or so she thought.
Had she known that she was the Sun to you, perhaps her hope would’ve been restored.
Or maybe she would have laughed, knowing that you found her in the strangest of places. Like seatbelts, for instance, and napkins; always necessary, and always staving off the bad that the world had to offer.
She was the chilly blast of air provided by the AC on summer’s most humid day, greeting you at the door of every shop you entered.
She was the sleepy delirium you slipped into on your days off, all pleasant dreams and comfortable positions.
The flowers and blossoms of the world were all her kisses, like a goddess’s gift to the Earth. Elegant, sweet, perfect. Being showered in them was a good luck charm; they rode the air currents on spring days, fluttering greetings on their way.
Coming home. To you, that was her. The familiarity of the floorboards, knowing where to step to avoid them creaking; the refrigerator light against a pitch-black kitchen, its crescent shape holding the darkness at bay; the support of your bed, offering relief to the parts of you that needed it most.
Truth be told, both of you found each other in everything. Bits and pieces, all fragments far too small to equate to the immensity of what you shared. Glimpses would never do in the long run, and you knew that. But what else were you to do?
Perhaps that silent hope that you held out, all daydreams and utterances of what if, swayed the universe into this. Into giving you an in; an opportunity to right your wrongs. A chance to hold tighter, this time, and accept trials and tribulations as signs of growth to be handled together – not reasons to give up.
You feel yourself smiling before you realize you’re even doing it. Her presence has a whole new meaning now, a whole slew of possible outcomes. Wherever the two of you decide to take things is up to you again; there’s nothing holding you back anymore.
She brings a hand up to your cheek, brushing her thumb across your soft skin. Even just holding you like this, so simply, is something she’s been longing for. Since the day you walked into her life, you’ve ruled her world without even knowing it. Sweet oblivion, yet again.
“Kiss me,” she says, after a moment. It draws you from the hold of her spell, bringing you back down to Earth.
You obey with a smile, but just before your lips meet hers, she stops you. She didn’t mean there.
“Here,” she corrects, as her hand guides yours back between her thighs. She’s wetter now than she was before, somehow, and you moan against her at the feeling. She muffles the noise with a kiss of her own, knowing how badly you need it.
She bites your lip as she pulls away. “We’re not leaving this bed until you’ve made up for every night we’ve been apart. Do you understand me?”
You sigh, half-amused. “I’m fairly certain that the group is going hiking in the morning,” you inform, “...so I think it’s important that you’re still able to walk for that.”
“Who says we have to join them?” She raises a brow, pushing you down onto the bed and moving to straddle you again.
You pull a face, feigning concern. “You wouldn’t want to be improper, now would you?”
Her shoulders rise and fall in a shrug, accepting no blame. “What happens is up to you. Take me now or forever hold your peace.” She declares it proudly, posing herself before you.
The view of her on top of you – nearly naked, her body humming with want, waiting for your touch – dispels any and all remnants of humor. Your shared desire wins out, filling the air of the room; she’s aware of her power over you, but she’d be a liar to act as if watching your eyes darken didn’t make her stomach flip just like it did the first time you ever took her.
With a hushed curse, you capture her lips in a searing kiss. She gasps into it when you roughly pull her panties down, showing little care in being gentle now. Her response comes in a similar form, with her hastily tugging your shirt over your head; once you’re exposed to her, she can’t help but stare. She admires every curve like it’s the first time she’s seen it; every line like it’s her last. It’s adoration and desperation, all at once; appreciating it all is important to her, but so too is relearning it.
Luckily for you, she happens to be best at a hands-on approach.
Her nails drag across your abdomen on their way downward, leaving faint marks on your sensitive skin; she can’t wait to see how many she can leave on you. It’s always been one of her favorite things to do.
In one fluid motion you flip her over, cradling her close in the process. Her hands cup your cheeks as she kisses you, and you hurriedly remove any remaining clothes from your bodies.
She spreads her legs for you as you begin to slide down her body, leaving one final kiss to her lips.
Her hands hold your hair up as you explore her abdomen, painting her fair skin with an array of love bites. Her nails dig into your scalp when her impatience hits a high, making you smile against her despite the sting.
She hums appreciatively when you finally slide your hand down, ready to prepare her for what she wants most. She’s absolutely soaked, and by the whine that she lets out when you press your palm to her clit, it’s safe to say that she’ll only get worse. The bed sheets below her have already received some of her slick, proudly displaying a wet spot for you to bear witness to.
“Enough teasing, jagi,” she groans, breathless and tired of your games. With shut eyes and furrowed brows, she pushes her head back into her pillow and takes up the writhing again that she had become so good at earlier. Her hands fall to your shoulders, pushing you down further.
You settle her thighs on your shoulders, basking in how smooth and warm they are around you. She’s perfection in human form; divinity personified.
“Keep it down, Jiu,” you command, taking control. “If you pull another stunt like earlier, I’m stopping altogether.”
She nods feverishly, lacking the desire to be a brat anymore. If playing nice is what it takes to have you, then so be it. That promise of release is finally back again, after all this time, and she can let herself get lost in you.
These four walls – what she once loathed – are creating an oasis.
Her personal utopia.
—
The Next Morning
Overzealous birds work as your alarm clock of sorts, claiming the prize of waking you up. You blink the sleep from your eyes and stretch, feeling a pleasant soreness in parts of your body it hadn’t been before last night. The ache reminds you of everything you did just a few hours ago, and you find yourself smiling like an idiot as you roll over to greet the resident sadist next to you.
When your hand meets the cold, empty expanse of the bed instead, your expression sours.
The bedside table is void of any note or message, too, you discover, though your phone sits atop it, charging. At some point this morning she must’ve plugged it in for you. Sweet, but not enough. You wanted to wake up in her arms, or at the very least next to her.
Grumbling, you sit up and head to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
You have no idea what the day will hold for the two of you.
–
Clean and dressed, you take a seat on the bed. Your fingertips mindlessly press to the hickey on your neck – one of the many, many that you discovered as you got ready – rubbing patterns against the abused skin there.
You unplug your phone and turn it on, mentally crossing your fingers as you scan through your message notifications for her name.
Your pursuit proves fruitless. Not even a text.
You huff like a child, rolling your eyes. So much for a vacation; now you’re stressed all over again.
When staring a hole into your phone doesn’t result in her notification magically popping up, you decide to give it a rest.
Standing up, you slip it into your back pocket and head for the door, ready to track Y/BFFs/N down and tell her everything.
However those plans, too, come to a screeching halt right before your eyes as you swing the door open to reveal a shocked Jiu. Your timing truly is impeccable.
“AHHH!” She shrieks, frightened.
She hastily scrambles to keep the large tray in her hands upright and off of the floor.
Spilling the spread of foods she just finished preparing for the two of you doesn’t sound too appealing to her, after all.
Immediately, you spring into action and successfully help steady it. Some fruits fell out of their separate containers and a bit of milk spilled over the side of its jar, but all of that is easily fixable. Jiu releases a tense breath as she realizes that the worst case scenario was avoided, but she glares at you as she pushes her way into the room.
“Pabo,” she mutters, striding over to the bed. The slight limp in her step makes you smile inwardly, proud of yourself.
Once the food is safely laid down and she cleans up what spilled, she turns to look at you.
“Sorry,” you mitigate, grimacing. When you approach her and look at everything she put together, your annoyance from before gives way to guilt. A plethora of your favorite foods decorates the tray, assembled with love.
She regards you for a moment, pretending to be angry. When her eyes land on one of the darkening marks on your neck, pleased mischief comes to gleam in them.
“You’re lucky I like you,” she threatens, pointing a finger at you.
Playfully, you bite the tip of it.
“I’m aware, jagi.”
Cautiously, you ease your arms around her waist, ready to pull away if need be. Although her lips still rest in an unamused pout, she doesn’t stop you.
The jackhammering of her heart has eased now, and you can feel its pace returning to normal as you draw her into your arms. She loops hers around your neck and sweetly presses her cheek to yours, content with staying like that for a bit.
You sway gently, rocking from side to side. This definitely makes up for the rude awakening you received earlier.
Once you’re satisfied, you pull away enough to look at her. Your fingertips brush a few stray strands of hair out of her face, tucking them behind her ear. She leans in, finally kissing you good morning.
“Ready to eat?”
Your lips purse in mock contemplation as you scan the food again.
"Mmm, five more minutes?" You suggest, leaning forward to kiss her again. She laughs into the embrace lightly, returning the gesture.
Her lips taste of the strawberries and cherries that she stole bites of earlier, as she cooked. It's addicting, you find, when she deepens the kiss and wraps herself around you, melting into your arms. You hold her close, just like she wants.
"Does this mean…" she mumbles between kisses, "we're still gonna room together?"
You pause to laugh. "Yeah, jagi. We're still roommates. No getting rid of me now."
She replaces her lips on yours, kissing them again and again as you attempt to control the growing smile on your face. She sweetly cups your cheeks, rubbing her thumbs across them as you continue.
Abruptly, jarring clapping resounds from the doorway. Fake sniffling can also be heard, and so the two of you look up to investigate.
It's none other than Sua and Y/BFFs/N, standing side by side with their hands clasped tightly together like proud parents.
"I told you it would happen," Sua wails, dabbing fake tears from the corner of her eye. Y/BFFs/N agrees, nodding enthusiastically.
“Mission accomplished,” she quips, looking straight at you.
It seems as though they had been playing Cupid all along…
Sneaky.
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[Bleach 082]
Hitsugaya's very first line in the entire series! And true to Renji's prior insinuations (that he's the boy genius one, and that that sucks), here he is, being both tiny and rude as hell. In the JP, he calls them stupid old men, then uses a suffix and connotes further disrespect, and then also goes on to call their squabbling stupid in itself, too lol. But right now it's a personal aside more than an engagement; he won't be rude to a fellow captain's face for another 19 whole chapters! Mayuri, Ichimaru, and Zaraki are so wrapped up in each other they completely ignore him anyway, and probably didn't even hear him.
He's also right, this is very stupid.
Not for me, mind you! I love this. But it's stupid for everyone who just spent the last six hours taking great pains to move heaven and earth to show up for a meeting where it turns out you're going to waste 15 minutes listening to your co-workers take shots at each other. I mean, are you really out of line if everyone agrees with you:
It's too bad that in addition to these three, Yamamoto also shares Hitsugaya's opinion, because otherwise I think they probably all could've stayed in this meeting for the entire arc. Aizen could've walked out for a pee break and died on a wall and they'd all still be standing in this meeting trading passive aggressive quips. Sure, Rukia has to spend this whole time in prison contemplating the implement of her future slaughter, but at least she got a window!
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Nothing more, nothing less (Part 1)
Summary: You are a perfectionist workoholic that works for August Walker, a stubborn non-conformist who's always pushing your buttons. That's a bad combination.
Pairing: August Walker x Reader
Words: 1200
Warnings: None, as this first part. Pure tension!
A/N: As usual, I'm really sorry about all the spelling mistakes, as english is not my main language.
Title: Nothing more, nothing less. Part 2
He's silent. He's reading something on his computer and typing like a maniac at the same time. He's obviusly mad, but you can't remember when was the last time he wasn't mad anyway. He called you to his office five minutes ago, and you're standing in front of his desk since then, still and quiet, clutching your Ipad and the folder with the report he asked you for yesterday. You can hear your own breathing, in and out, and you are very aware of the tremor in your hands.
That's what August Walker do to you. Not only he intimidates you in the most profounds ways, but he makes you an insecure and fearful being. Something that you are not to the rest of the world. To everyone, you are the clever, intelligent, funny, always ready to help and to give an advice kind of girl.
However, in front of August, your boss, you always feel at a disadvantage. Your work has been always perfect, even beyond the count. If he asks you to do A, you take care of doing A, B and even C. But, for him, something is always wrong. Something is always missing. Nothing is enough. That's a bad combination right there: a perfectionist workoholic and a stubborn non-conformist.
Sometimes you wonder why do you even are still working for him. He is not only stubborn, but also moody and even disrespectful. Have he ever told you something good about your work? You don't remember.
"Miss? Are you listening?", his deep voice brings you back to reality.
"Yes sir", your voice is low. You clear your throat, and your eyes lock on his. He is definitely the most intimidating man you have ever known. And the most handsome. And you hate when he calls you "miss", like you two have just met. Two years working for him every day, every hour, and he still calls you "miss". Two years. Very meritorious, considering the previous assistants were there for a few weeks.
"Give me that", he moves his fingers, pointing at the folder you've been holding against your chest. "I asume it is the report I asked for yesterday".
"Yes. Yes it is, sir". You step forward and handle the folder to him. He looks at you briefly up and down and starts to read it. You take the opportunity to look at him. He's so attractive that it's ridiculous. But you also can't stand him. The way he treats you, the way he despises everything you do, the way he ignores you. You worked on this damn report all night, and you only have a couple of hours of sleep. You feel tired, sensitive and irritable. But you trust that you did a good job. You take a deep breath and straighten your posture. You can do it. You've got this.
"¿Do you even know how to reason by yourself?", he finally says, tossing the folder onto the desk without even finishing the first page.
"What... do you mean... sir?"
"This is written as if I did it".
"And is that... wrong?" You are confused.
"In fact, it is." He looks at his computer monitor again, as if everything is already solved.
"May I know why, sir?", you start to tremble. You clench your hands into two tight fists, trying to contain the anger that swirls in your stomach, and the tears that threaten to spring from your eyes. You never cried in front of him. Never. You have cried yourself to sleep, many times. But he never saw you weak, and you don't want this to be the first time.
"Why? Are you serious? This is bullshit, and you know it. Go back to that desk and do it all over again. And this time, think before typing".
"Bullshit? Let me tell you that I find it highly disrespectful of you. I've been working on this report all night..."
"Then don't waste your time, or mine, and do it right the next one", he interrupts you. "I need it tomorrow morning"
That's it. You feel that you can't hold it back anymore. Your eyes fill with tears that you can't contain.
"You are an asshole!", you let out a frustrated cry through your teeth.
"Tell me something I don't know, sweetheart" he answers, still not looking at you.
"I'm not your sweetheart!"
"I am well aware of that."
"I've been working my butt off day in and day out for two years trying to fill your requests, to measure up. It's never enough for you", you wipe the tears from your cheeks, and just then August raises his eyes. "You don't even know what it is like to work for you."
"I know what is like. But there is something that you don't understand yet. I need you to work with me, not for me."
"I understand that"
"No, you don't" He gets up from his chair and walks slowly towards you, putting his hands in his pockets. Unconsciously you take a few steps back, until you feel the wall at your back. He only stops when it is a few inches from your body.
"If I wanted a simple secretary, I would have hired the first blonde with eternal legs that appeared to me in the interview. I chosed you because I don't need a secretary that brings me coffee and repeat my appointments like a fucking parrot. I need someone who thinks for himself. Someone smart. Tireless worker. Someone that completes me."
"I didn't know that..."
"Maybe because I didn't say it", he raises his arm and wipes away a tear that slowly slides down your cheek with his thumb. "Maybe I should be a little more communicative, I admit that".
You try to calm yourself. "I'm so sorry for this behavior, sir." you compose yourself and stand up straight, still against the wall.
"To be honest, I prefer when you call me asshole than when you call me sir". And there it is. His smile. You don't think you remember ever seeing him smile. You break the eye contact, and look down at your shoes. Your body is a mixture of the adrenaline from what just happened, from the tiredness, from the contained anger that you just let out, and from the shame of having done it.
"I should go back to my desk and start working on it"
"Yes" he says, and steps back to give you some space. He clears his throat and looks at the floor as well, standing up straight. So close, in front of you, he seems bigger than ever.
You close the door behind you and sit on your chair. The phone rings immediately and his deep voice fills your ear. "Don't go through with the report now. Go ahead with what you had planned for today, we'll work together after hours on the report to make sure we don't make any more mistakes. I appreciate your work and I wish we don't have more misunderstandings in the future."
He doesn't wait for your answer, as usual, and hangs up the call. The door opens and he rushes out of his office without even looking at you.
#henry cavill x female reader#henry cavill#fan fic author#henry cavill fanfiction#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill characters#henry cavill smut#august walker
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Am I insensitive if I say that Rhysand’s treatment of Feyre UTM feels like psychological torture? I was talking to someone on Reddit about it, and the more I think about it, the more I want to vomit. It’s actually so disgusting.
I’m gonna put this under a Read More ‘cause it’s actually kind of hard to think about, let alone imagine.
Imagine being drugged, stripped, and groped every night so deeply and thoroughly that you have to spend hours recovering each day. Imagine that everyone but you knows how you behaved, knows every inch of your body and laughed at your dignity being shredded apart while you had to sit by and do nothing. Imagine having to suffer through something like that not once but daily for WEEKS, months even.
I don’t remember just how many times Rhysand put her through that, but going through it more than once would have me demoralized. I’d give up after that. Feyre’s dignity, her pride, her boundaries were all forcefully taken from her at Rhysand’s hand and that honestly makes me want to vomit. And yet, she still managed to keep going. I cannot express how much that says about her character as a person, but also how terrible of a writer SJM is for forcing her through that then just IGNORING how that’d affect her mentally.
There’s something so dehumanizing about it, and the utter disrespect for Feyre’s character to be written as if it doesn’t matter at all in the next book.
I used to say that there could be redemption for Rhysand, at least in Feyre’s eyes, if done well. But I change my mind. This pathetic lowlife, this sorry excuse of a character, doesn’t deserve the ink wasted to print his disgusting scenes, let alone a fucking redemption when so many others would deserve SO MUCH MORE don’t even get an inch of sympathy.
#anti sjm#anti rhysand#anti feysand#i hate him i hate him i hate him#he’s so disgusting#this sorry excuse of a character#u r fully within your rights to like this man#but the fact that there was no attempt at redemption will always have me turning my head#sorry not sorry#astrababyy
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Leather dress
Pairing: Lita x Fem reader
Description: Lita shows how much she likes you in your new leather dress after a segment in the ring
Lita stands beside Edge in the ring along with Randy while Hunter, Shawn, and Steph were across from them pretty much complaining and ranting as always making her roll her eyes as randy occasionally pops his knuckles and edge smirks before coming back with one liners. Your theme song plays leading lita and the boys to smile as the lyrics of Rock the house by Gorillaz plays but her mind spins and her body becomes warm seeing you in a red leather dress as you climb in between the ropes with the help of edge and randy before you were nose to nose with the three across from your two friends and girlfriend only grinning as you snatch the mic from hunter "Steph you know damn well if anyone in this ring is always a bunch of filthy, lying, disrespectful, no good, and absolutely worthless pieces of shit it's definitely the three of you thinking that you can make us afraid when you know I can give the two of them a run for their money and beat the hell out of you" the crowd loses it as the three boil with rage flipping them off as you smile at the boys and lightly lick your lips at lita. A second later you turn and give one of the best spin kicks you have given in your career to steph before everyone was brawling in the ring until the four of you were standing proud and tall with the support of fans who kept chanting at the four of you "Y/N for RKO" and chanted at the pissed off trio "You're all bitches" leaving you laughing as lita wraps an arm around you before heading backstage leading to two hours later back in your shared hotel room still clad in the dress that complimented your body and especially brough out the curves of your body and cleavage in a stunning way, you groan throwing the heels off your feet and grabbing a drink before you were in a heated kiss with Lita against the wall biting your lip not to moan loudly as her hands run all over your body after leading and laying you out on the bed slowly pulling the dress down your body exposing your half naked body only being clad in lace underwear "God if I had seen this earlier I would have you screaming right now". Your heart races as she places the dress on the floor kissing you before going down your neck tweaking your nipples as she kisses down your chest placing hickies on your body throwing your underwear across the room before running her fingers across your folds leaving you a whimpering mess before she went to town on eating you out until you were shaking from the high whimpering again as she slowly thrusts her fingers inside you going faster as time went on leaving you an absolute mess of babbling, tears of pleasure, small shaking, and white in your vision laying still in a daze as she cleans you up and hands you water before you had grabbed her wasting no time in turning her to putty in your hands like she had done to you over the past two hours not caring whether her out of control moans would lead to a noise complaint all that mattered was the two of you in this moment as you made her come undone yet again for the fifth time like she did with you. "You need to wear that more" you laugh keeping the promise and occasionally wearing the dress for promos, interviews, and even some of your matches leading to pent up feelings due to being on the road let out over hours of intense pleasure and love you had for each other until both of you were laying on each other in a daze for a few minutes before cleaning up, sometimes eating, and falling asleep molded together.
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Heart, Soul (light vent poem)
A loud voice does not always conceal a loud heart.
An angry voice does not mean an angry soul.
A twisting, spiraling mind does not mean an unstable person.
Passion is bred from care and conviction.
Something that provokes so loud must feel so deep.
A hurt heart screams as much as it weeps.
The screech of a damaged soul can deafen.
Many cover their ears.
They feel they have no place to care for a hurt heart’s fears.
Sensitive is sweet.
Loud is seen as sour.
And many don’t appreciate when someone is candy every hour.
They say meek is to be weak.
They say there’s no place for kind.
To ask for accommodation is simply a waste of time.
They say the heart wants control.
Yet it only craves consideration.
Its fear and need for clarification is misconstrued as hatred.
The soul thinks it has friends.
But many don’t value it,
not as much as it values them.
Passion mistaken for anger.
Caring mistaken for force.
And the heart has no clue how to speak better, of course.
It values its own passion.
Wishes not to be dishonest.
To sugarcoat and pretend to be relaxed would only make it feel like a liar.
The soul changes to help its friends.
But it knows that in the end,
there are some things about it you just can’t fix.
Claim its scream is annoying and weak,
yet it is a battle cry.
To make it as pleasant as possible, it will definitely try.
But it will remain strong until the day it dies.
To wear the heart on one’s sleeve while calling out on the battlefield,
it’s an act so risky but brave and a rare one in this time.
Soul could be hit a thousand times.
It will not shatter.
Because it understands that what it says matters.
The soul softens for its friends.
It’s willing to change in positive ways for almost whatever.
It’ll do almost anything to make sure those ties don’t unnecessarily sever.
Voice is too loud.
Because the heart is too big.
It grew another two sizes just this morning.
Too much love within it.
To live in such a broken world.
Still maturing, still feels like a little girl.
Tries to bring people in.
Always gets pushed away.
Because it cares too much, they say.
It never claimed it doesn’t make mistakes.
The things the soul screams are rarely entirely pleasant things.
Just because everything it says comes from love, doesn’t mean it’s not a complete and total fuck-up
But in the end at least that means it will be willing to change.
To change to help others.
To not hurt a thing.
But it will never stop caring as much as it does.
That never will be,
and that never was.
It thinks not itself better but rather questions others.
No matter if friends, foes, sisters or brothers.
It asks “why don’t you care, why not is it important?”
They never got many answers that they understood.
Only “because it takes to much energy and I can’t spend that” was really good.
It tries to understand, to accommodate anyway.
Because it knows certain feelings are hard to explain.
Even those it calls beasts it still sees as people.
Merely ones that have done actions one could sometimes call evil.
The heart loves and it loves,
but not many love it.
With that horrible fact, it must often sit.
Because it loves and it loves,
and love for something else is the only reason it could ever hate.
Judgement not always good, but heart in right place.
Glowing blue with integrity, it’s got beliefs.
And if those beliefs are right, it will never stop it.
Heart made of gold, no need for a locket.
But not everyone sees their lustrous sheen.
And many don’t understand that for them it also gleams.
Because instead of seeing what it actually believes, they’re way more mad at the fact that it screamed.
Big heart breeds big feelings.
Big feelings, big reaction.
And it’s trying to more carefully choose those big actions.
It never means to force, to shove down its opinions.
To disrespect, to hurt, to disregard.
It only means to ask of its friends, not demand of strangers.
To let everyone know just how much it cares.
Its voice is loud and it doesn’t know how to keep it down.
A silencer would be a hard thing to wear, begin to make them struggle for air.
Desperately trying not to shout,
trying not to freak its loved ones out.
To be as good as it can for whoever cares back, even if that is someone it lacks.
Both trying to please and to stick to its guns,
means that a lot of the time life isn’t fun.
But it’s trying.
Hey, it’s me. I’m the heart. I’m sorry I’m a mess. I don’t wanna be.
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