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absolutebl · 2 months

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This Week in BL - it was a pretty darn good time, frankly

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - Everyone looked like they were having a lot of fun in the fight sequences. I’m very happy for them. I’m not surprised they shot Khem and Chart. A little shocked it wasn’t also Yai, TBH.

I found this final episode rushed. According to rumors, The Sign was originally slated to be 14 eps, and it probably should’ve been. And I don’t say that often about Thai BL. But we all knew it was getting too bloated for its britches, so I'm not surprised they fumbled the ending. For me personally, it just wasn't that bad. It was fine and I was fine with it.

Tho, Billy does not look good with facial fur, messes up those gorgeous angles.

I was ultimately amused that the solution to the mythology thread was simply to talk to the river god and persuaded him to give up... off screen. It felt very old school wuxia. Or like Aeschylus or something. I did adore the stinger, Saint was basically like “I want wings too”.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This show is literally everything (except straight) all at once. It's BL, queer, band of brothers, romcom, erotica, PNR, fated mates, police procedural, fantasy, mystery, suspense, and slasher. It’s the king of genre mash-up chaos. Sure, it's madness but there is genius in it. Was it a crazy unhinged mess +1 roll for damage? Yes. Yes it was. Did it manage to hold all those tangled threads together? No it did not. Was it also a charming, sexy, engaging, non-stop piece of entertainment? Sure thing. I think this show is basically my KinnPorsche, and frankly I’ve been chasing that dragon naga since KP aired. Is it perfect? No. But it was balls to the wall FUN and that gets a 9/10 from me.

I'm thinking of doing a full recap review (partly because I have so many great screen shots.)

Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube grey) ep 10-11 of 12 - Since this series is following the yaoi so closely, I knew these were the separation eps. (Also I knew with would be a soft non-doom ep 11, Japan rarerly does these.) I like that they used it to show improve communication and development in all relationships, but, frankly, TayNew are just best when they are TayNew together on screen. So yeah. Let’s keep them back together, please?

Meanwhile, TayNew gifted us a gorgeous loving sweet sex scene. Thanks OG for doing us a solid.

I wanna add, it sure is fun to see New play as soft and vulnerable character, I feel like he hasn’t done that since SOTUS.

(Read all about distribution issues here.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 12fin - 1/3 of this is a sweet romance about a student doctor falling in love with a student chef, and the rest of it is utter dross. Look the OffGun bits were GREAT.. In fact, I think they’re better AS A PAIR in this show than in any of their other BLS. And I'm a hard sell on any OffGun being better than PickRome. Saying that, how can I review a show where I could only tolerate 1/3 of it? Because I didn’t like any other aspect of this show, no other pairs and no other plots. That gives me: 9/10 for the OffGun bits, 5/10 for everything else. Frankly it probably should be an 8 but I gotta go with my gut and it's upset about this so 7/10. Sorry boys. It’s GMMTV’s fault. Your heart was in this show, mine wasn’t.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - These two are so good at making heart eyes at each other. It’s ridiculous. They don’t need any cartoon images or noises. Moot crush but "I wanna flirt and court more" is so flipping awesome. I love this for them… and us.

1000 Years Old ep 2 of 12 - It’s very silly and we have been gifted with the dorkiest vampire ever. But... the smell thing makes me so happy. And I like that the vamp uses chan/nai or tan = v old fashioned. Nahlak. I love our ghost girl. Did you notice she wasn’t in the room with them but they left an empty chair for her? Also nahlak.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - Kai was pretty much just “you're a workaholic but I basically married you whether you like it or not.” SMOOCH. What can I say? I'm a sucker for this dynamic.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - How is this show so cute? How do they both love and hurt each other so much. They are both just scared of loosing each other. Gah.

Unknown (Taiwan Sat Youku YouTube) 1 of 12 eps - Youku dropped the first ep to their YouTube channel but I doubt we can expect that to continue. Still, it was nice to be able to watch it in a convenient way. I enjoyed it. But I am cautious about it. Of course this is possibly two of my favorite tropes of all time (stepbrothers or a variation + hyung romance). So I’m looking forward to the romantic thread, but from the gritty style, it feels a lot more like a Taiwanese short. Which means it could go very dark and may not end happy.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I just don’t know if the main couple should be a couple. But when they finally get around to talking to each other, they sure are lovely. Also how great is it to see a uke initiate a kiss? Even if it’s not a very good kiss.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 2 of 8 - I am still not sure about this one. I am not contesting its quality, just saying it’s not for me. Also I’m not wild about what amounts to basically a redo of everything that already happened in the first episode from a different perspective. I know it’s a tall order with Japan, but I would like (when it’s a short series) for each new installment to actually move the plot (such as it is) along in someway. Am I asking too much?

It's done but I have no time

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's airing but...

Dead Friend Forever (Thai iQIYI) - rumors are it's interesting but full of unlikable characters. I'm waiting to know how it ends.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far. Ends next week TF.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - I tried but I can't get into my WeTV account anymore and I'm way too lazy to figure it out. Should I bother to go grey for it?

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand YT) - High school sweethearts who had a bad break up reunite when both of them have full time jobs but coming out is still a problem. You can watch this on YT but it has no Eng Subs.

Next Week Looks Like This:

We're light on content right now, but frankly I'm so busy with work I don't really mind.

3/6 Born to be Y (Thai ????) 10 eps - 14 contestants who audition to compete in Born To Be Y, a program that searches for the best couple of the year to work together on a giant project. Described as semi-reality series. So I probably won't bother.

3/7 Deep Night (Thai iQiyi) 10 eps - Multiple romances set in a host clubs. Nice to see First back on my screen but this is not my favorite setting.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

The eyes have it.

Your random BL moment brought to you by my ult-bias being a hyung smartass to his maknae.

(Last week)

158 notes · View notes

likeahorribledream · 3 months

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new guy

» CHAPTER TEN: A LITTLE GUIDANCE

CHAPTER NINE

SUMMARY: WHAT LIES AHEAD FOR YOU AND RANSOM?

PAIRING: Ransom x Reader

WORD COUNT: 5.0K

WARNINGS: Fluff, angst. New Girl AU.

REQUEST: Librarian!Reader, she’s shy and insecure about her appearance.

18+. Minors DNI.

ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃

As soon as the door slams shut Theo and Chase come out of his room, looking around to see if the coast is clear.

"How bad do you think it is?" Theo asks.

"Pretty bad." Chase sighs. "I'm gonna go check up on her." He stops in front of your door and knocks softly. "It's me, princess. Can I come in?"

You poke your head out from under the covers long enough to tell him to come in and disappear under them again right after.

"Are you ok?" Your best friend asks as he closes the door behind him and walks over to your bed.

"No. I'm not." Your voice breaks as more tears rush out of you.

"What happened?" He sits on the edge of your bed and pushes back the covers to let you breathe.

"I don't want to talk about it." You keep your back to him, curling up on yourself.

He reaches over to you and rubs your back. "Where's Ransom?"

You shrug. "I don't know, I think he- he left." You reach for a pillow and hug it tightly to your chest to try to calm yourself down.

"Want me to stay with you?" He pushes back your hair, away from your face.

"Can I be alone, please?" You whisper, scared that if you speak any louder you're going to break.

"Of course. If you need me or Theo, just send us a text." Chase leans down and kisses your temple before standing up. "We love you." He adds before leaving.

Ransom waits for his Über to show up to take him to his destination.

"If you want a good tip and review I'd recommend not talking unless it's to ask for directions.."

The driver nods as he looks at him through the mirror. "Got it."

With now time to think about what he wants to say, Ransom writes a few things down on his phone to make sure not to forget anything. He has a lot of questions to ask.

The driver, as promised, keeps his mouth shut and Ransom gives him 5 stars and a $50 tip just for leaving him alone.

He gets out of the car and up the few steps that lead to the front door, going in right after knocking.

It's only been a few months since he has stepped into this house but it feels like it has been years. Things change quickly, he has changed too. Probably more so in the past few months than he has over the past 10 years.

"I thought we were finally rid of you." Fran sighs as she sees Ransom walking toward her.

"Fuck off." He says as he walks past her to his grandfather's office. He knocks but this time he waits for permission before walking in.

"I like the beard and longer hair. It suits you." Harlan says to him as he takes a seat.

"Mh. Thanks." He runs his fingers through his hair.

"Not a fan of the bloodshot eyes though."

Ransom sighs and glances down at the desk before looking back up. "Why did you have kids?"

Harlan sits back in his chair and looks at his grandson, really looks at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Have you always wanted kids? Is it because Nana and Great Nana wanted them for you? Why did you choose to have kids?"

Harlan takes a moment to really think about his answer, he's not sure why Ransom is asking him this but he has a feeling that his answer could potentially change Ransom's opinion. Whatever it is. "I don't know how it happened." He says sincerely. "I don't remember ever thinking about wanting to have kids until I met your Nana. I was a lot like you when I was younger. Reckless and handsome." He teases to lighten up the mood. "You often hear people say "I met the love of my life and my world got turned upside down" but when I met the love of my life my world finally made sense. All the puzzle pieces fell into place and everything felt right. I loved her with all of my being, still do. There's not a day that I don't miss her but she's not really truly gone because I see little pieces of her in every single one of you." He smiles fondly. "I can't say when exactly I decided to have kids, all I remember is thinking that the world would be a better place with more of her in it. Now that she's gone, I'm glad I have all of you to remind me of her."

"Would you still choose to have kids if you knew how bad we were going to turn out?"

"Not everyone turned out bad and it's not entirely their fault if they did."

"Meg is fine but the rest of us, not so much."

"You turned out fine." Harlan looks at Ransom with a smile and pride in his eyes.

Ransom can't help but laugh. "In what world did I turn out fine?"

"Look at how much you've changed since I cut you off, how much you've grown. For the first time in… years, you look happy. Genuinely happy."

Ransom shrugs and looks down. "I was."

"It's that girl, right? Your friend that Marta helped? You fell in love."

It's not a question, it doesn't need to be.

"What happened?"

Rubbing his hands over his face and sighing, Ransom feels close to breaking down again. "She wants to have kids."

"And you don't?" Harlan asks curiously.

"Why would I? With how fucked up our family is, I don't need to put that kind of burden on a child or on her. She deserves better. My dad cheats on my mom constantly, they both hate me and each other." He shakes his head. "I'll be a shitty dad and a shitty husband."

"Tell me, do you think your dad stops to think "am I being a shitty husband?" before cheating on your mother?"

"Fuck no." Ransom laughs but there's no joy to it.

"Exactly."

Ransom frowns and raises a brow, confused. "Exactly, what?"

Harlan chuckles and sits up on his chair, leaning forward on his desk. "You are not your father. You are nothing like your father. You love her, you care about her. Let's forget about your parents, about this family. It's just you and her in the world, would you have kids with her?"

"Of course I would. She's my whole fucking world, I'd do anything for her. I'd give her anything she asked for but this is the real world and Drysdale men don't make good fathers."

"Then break the cycle." Harlan says, like it's the most obvious solution.

"Oh, right. Sure. Just like that." Ransom answers, clearly being sarcastic as he rolls his eyes.

"Why not? Are you a good boyfriend to her?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"Do you love her? Show her affection? Treat her right? Take care of her? Respect her?"

"I do."

"Then you've already broken the cycle of Drysdale men being shitty boyfriends or husbands. If you can do that then you can break the bad father cycle."

"What if I can't and I end up ruining her life and the kid's life?"

"What if you can and you end up being happy with a great family?"

"I hate it when you answer my question with a question." He shakes his head.

"I know you do." Harlan chuckles.

"I'm scared I might have lost her." Ransom admits, so quietly that Harlan almost missed it.

"If you love her then fight for her. If you just give up then you're sure to lose her. Go home, fix it."

Ransom runs a hand through his hair. "We have two roommates, they are protective of her, they probably won't let me talk to her alone and if they do they'll just hide and listen to everything."

"Here." Harlan opens his desk drawer and pulls out a set of keys. "Send them there."

"Are those the keys to my old house?"

"Those are the keys to the house that I paid for. Now go, fight for your girl. Make me proud."

Ransom stands up and takes the keys. He walks over to the door and opens it, turning around to add one more thing. "Please don't tell anyone about me and her. I don't want them anywhere near my relationship."

Harlan nods. "You got it. Your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you. For everything."

His grandfather smiles at him. "I'm proud of you Ransom."

He walks out of the house while taking his phone out of his pocket and tries to call you. He's not surprised when you don't pick up, it was to be expected. He hangs up to get an Über and he's surprised to see how late it is already. He hadn't realized that so much time had passed. It's almost dinner time but it feels later than that because of how dark it already is outside.

On his ride home, Ransom thinks about how or what he'll need to do to get you alone without the guys.

Once he gets dropped off near the building, he calls Theo to say he needs to see both he and Chase to clear the air before seeing you. After the call, he runs up the stairs and waits until he's sure they are gone.

After the night they had locked you up in the loft together you had confiscated the keys from that specific lock and put them all in a drawer in the kitchen so while the guys are moving down to the first floor, Ransom quietly sneaks into the loft and locks the door. He leaves the key just in case one of you wants to get out, he doesn't want to hold you hostage he just wants to keep the guys out until he has had a chance to have a real talk with you.

He sends them a quick text to tell them where he hid the key of his old house with the address. The guys would be pissed if they weren't so impressed by how quickly Ransom has learned to play by their rules. Plus, there are worse ways to spend your Saturday night than in a giant, beautiful house.

Once he's sure the guys won't be interrupting anything Ransom takes off his shoes and his jacket, leaving them close to the front door. He takes a few deep breaths to settle his nerves before heading to your room.

He usually loves moments when the loft is calm and in complete silence, like right now, but tonight he wishes there would be a noise, a sound, anything to cover his nervous heartbeat and the blood rushing through his veins at an incredible speed.

Ransom turns the knob and walks in without a sound before closing the door again. He moves closer to your bed, his heart clenching painfully at the sight of you looking so small and fragile, almost broken. He hates that he did this to you.

Lifting up the covers, Ransom carefully gets into your bed and lies behind you. A sigh of relief almost escapes his lips when you don't flinch or tense up at his presence, counting it as a small win.

You have no idea what time it is, all you know is that you've spent the entire day in bed crying, sleeping or staring at the wall in front of you. You're tired and your body aches from lying in the same position for hours on end, yet you can't find the energy to move. Not even to turn around. Chase and Theo check up on you often to make sure you don't need anything, maybe that's why you're able to tell right away when it's Ransom who comes in and not one of your other roommates.

You let him get in and settle down right behind you without saying anything. What is there to say that hasn't already been said earlier?

What you don't expect is for him to reach over and wrap his arm around you, like he always does, and you feel terrible for jumping the way you do. Ransom tries to move his arm away when he sees and feels you get scared but you stop him, putting your hand on top of his.

Ransom's eyes are burning with unshed tears as he wraps his front around your back, getting as close to you as physically possible.

"I'm sorry for leaving the way I did." He says quietly, not surprised to hear the pain in his own voice. "Can you turn around, please?"

You hesitate but slowly turn around to be facing him. As soon as he sees your face he moves his hand away from your waist and uses it to wipe off the fresh tears on your cheeks, not realizing that his own are now running free.

"I'm so sorry, kitten. I'm so fucking sorry." He whispers, knowing that his voice can't get any louder without breaking or wavering.

You're fast to cover his cheeks with your hands, using your thumbs to make his tears disappear as soon as they come out. "You don't have to apologize. Sometimes things just don't work out." You give him the tiniest of smiles to show him you're not mad. You could never be mad at him for knowing what he wants or doesn't want.

Ransom's eyes widen as he realizes why you think he's apologizing. "No, no, no, no." He says quickly and puts his index finger under your chin to make you look in his eyes. "I went to see Harlan today and we talked, for hours. You were right. I'm not my dad and I'll never be my dad. I love you, I'm fucking crazy about you and I never want to hurt you. I promise I'll never cheat on you or do anything else to hurt you, to hurt us."

"Oh, Ran. I know you won't. The thought never even crossed my mind and I love you, I really do that's why it hurts so much but we want different things. As much as I love and adore you, I haven't changed my mind about wanting to have kids. I'm sorry."

"I know, kitten. That's what I'm trying to say." He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and rests his forehead against yours. "I changed my mind."

Your eyes widen and you quickly sit up. "Are you for real?"

"Yes." He sits up too, facing you.

"A few hours ago you didn't even want to think about having kids, Ran this isn't like changing your mind about getting a cat."

"Like I said, I talked to Harlan and he opened my eyes on a few things." He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers linger across your cheek. "If it were someone else, I wouldn't have changed my mind but it's you. I know you won't be scared to call me out if I do something bad and I know I'll love our kids because they will be yours. I really thought about it, I'm sure."

You stare at him speechless. "Maybe you should take some more time to think about it." You suggest, a little taken aback.

"I don't need to."

You're shocked that he has changed his mind so rapidly but also shocked that you believe him even if you think an afternoon isn’t enough to make such a big decision. He seems so sure of himself, there's not even an ounce of doubt in his voice, in his words or in his eyes.

Before you try to argue again, Ransom closes the distance between the two of you and kisses you. It starts off chaste and soft but it quickly turns sloppy and full of need, full of desire. One of his hands travels down your body to the small of your back where his hand then moves under your shirt. He sighs at the contact of your warm, soft skin and moves closer to you.

You put your hands to the back of his head where you tangle your fingers in his hair to keep him close, as if he'd ever dare to leave you like this.

Ransom kisses the corner of your lips and trails down from your cheek to the side of your neck to give you a chance to breathe. He sucks and nips at the skin, smiling against your neck when he feels you shiver.

You bite your lower lip and close your eyes to let yourself get lost in his touch.

He lifts up his head and he grins at the sight in front of him. "You look so beautiful." He presses his lips to yours, stealing your breath once more. He helps you lie down on your back, holding himself up with one hand flat on the mattress while the other is still on your back. He lowers himself with you and settles his body on top of yours, between your legs so as to not crush you under his weight. His hand that's on your back moves from under you and comes to take yours instead, intertwining his fingers with yours as he raises them above your head to rest on the pillow.

Once again Ransom breaks off the kiss to let you breathe and instead presses soft kisses all over your cheeks, forehead and nose. He stops to look down into your eyes when he feels you cupping his cheek in the palm of your free hand to get his attention.

"I love you." You say softly after feeling the urge to say it first this time.

Ransom's breath hitches in his throat and he gently squeezes your hand that he's holding. He gets lost in his own mind for a few moments, trying to think back to the last time that someone told him they loved him and meant it. For years girls have told him they loved him, not because that was how they felt but because they thought it could get them expensive gifts or money. It didn't. Those three little words have always turned Ransom off, until tonight. He used to hate hearing them but now they might be his favorite words. "Fuck." He curses quietly under his breath, his heart is pounding in his chest in the most wonderful way. "I love you." He adds quickly right before kissing the tip of your nose. "Wanna get started on those babies?" He asks you, cheekily as he wiggles his eyebrows and grins down at you.

You can't help but laugh at his playful attitude. You tilt your head a little to the side, matching his playfulness. "Are you sure you want the babies and not just the baby making?"

"I'm a big, big fan of the baby making." He smirks. "But I'm gonna be an even bigger fan of the babies that come from it."

You shake your head as you smile, amused. "How about for right now we practice and we can talk about babies tomorrow morning?"

"Anything you want, my love." He smiles as he leans down to kiss you. The moment your lips touch, his playfulness is gone and all of his focus is on making you feel good, beautiful and loved beyond words. Over and over again until you're both too exhausted to move.

Ransom rolls off of you and lies on his back next to you, letting you both catch your breath. You wiggle closer until you’re flushed against his side and rest the back of your head on his bicep. He moves his head to look at you and smiles at how relaxed and at peace you look. He wraps his index finger and thumb on both sides of your jaw to angle your head in the right direction to give him easy access to your lips as he leans in to kiss you. He nips at your bottom lip before pulling away.

‘’We totally just made a baby, I can feel it.’’ He rests his head back on the pillow and looks up at the ceiling.

You laugh and take the hand that was on your face, holding it between yours as you close your eyes. ‘’I think it’s going to take a little while before we do. At least I hope so.’’

Ransom frowns and turns his head to look at you. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’

You blindly trace his pinky ring with the tip of your finger, slowly opening your eyes to look back at him. ‘’I love how excited you are about this but we don’t need to have a kid now. We need money, lots of it and our own place because I’m not taking care of a newborn baby on top of taking care of Theo and Chase.’’

‘’Right.’’ He sighs. ‘’I keep forgetting that money is an issue for me now.’’

You raise a hand to his beard and gently scratch with your fingers along his jawline. ‘’We just need to come up with a plan, to make sure we’re ready when it does happen. If we did make a baby tonight, we’ll make it work but I’d like to be prepared.’’

‘’It’s a good thing that one of us is smart.’’

‘’Don’t say that, you’re smart too.’’

‘’Oh, I know. I was talking about myself.’’ He laughs at your shocked gasp and kisses your temple. ‘’I’m just teasing.’’

You sit up to put your shirt and leggings back on. ‘’I hope you enjoyed getting laid earlier because that was the last time in a very long while.’’ You stick out your tongue at him before hurrying out of your bed and heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

‘’No, come back.’’ He tries to stop you from getting out of bed but you’re too quick. ‘’Kitten.’’ He whines and smiles when he hears you laugh. He gets out of bed and follows you to the bathroom, not bothering with putting on any clothes since it’s just the two of you and he has locked out your other two roommates. ‘’What are we doing?’’ He asks, innocently.

‘’I’m taking a shower.’’ You turn on the water to let it warm up before getting in.

‘’What a great idea for us to take a shower.’’

You bite down on your lip, trying not to laugh and encourage him. You shake your head instead.

He leans down to kiss the side of your neck, covering every inch of skin with his lips as he puts his hands under the front of your shirt to cover your stomach. ‘’Need some help with your clothes, kitten?’’ He nips at the skin right under your ear, making you shiver.

You slightly lean back into him, making him think he has won but you quickly snap out of it and pull away. ‘’I got it, thanks. I’ll be done soon if you want to take a shower after.’’ You take off your clothes and walk inside the shower, closing the door behind you as you step under the water.

A few seconds later you feel a big gush of cold air coming in, making you aware that Ransom has opened the door. He steps in and stands behind you as he closes the door right after.

‘’Ran, what are you doing?’’ You don’t turn around, your poker face sucks and you want to pretend to be mad for as long as you can.

‘’Just making sure my beautiful baby mama is safe.’’ He wraps his arms around your shoulders and kisses the back of your head.

You laugh quietly and lean back into him. ‘’I’m not a baby mama yet.’’

‘’Yet. But I’m working on it..’’ He moves his hands to rest on top of your stomach and you almost melt at how adorable he is being since coming back from Harlan’s.

A small part of you wants to tease him and tell him that he’s being super cheesy but the sincerity in his voice stops you. Instead you put your hands on top of his and relax under the hot water.

‘’Ran?’’ You say his name quietly after a few minutes of just holding one another.

‘’Yes, my love?’’

‘’I’m starving.’’

He chuckles. ‘’Yeah, me too. Let’s wash up and then we can go out.’’

‘’Out? Ransom Drysdale are you taking me out on a date?’’ You turn your head to look up at him.

He smiles and kisses your forehead. ‘’I don’t know if you can call it a date because I definitely can’t afford fancy restaurants but we’re going out to eat.’’

‘’Well, lucky for you I’m more of a small restaurant kinda girl. Small prices, big portions and I have my own money.’’

‘’I’m paying and I sure am lucky.’’ He smiles before letting go of you to grab the soap.

By the time you get out there is no more hot water but neither of you care. You head back to your rooms to get dressed and meet back at the front door.

You’ve decided to walk to the small italian restaurant a few blocks away, you’ve gone often but Ransom hasn’t had a chance to eat there yet and you have a feeling he’s going to love it. You, Theo and Chase have been going there for years and the owners know you well, they often give you discounts that you pay back in their tip.

You sit at your usual table and Ransom surprises you by sitting next to you instead of sitting across from you. You are so used to your boyfriends being either ashamed of being seen with you or trying to hide that they have a girlfriend in case they run into their other girlfriends that you’re always pleasantly surprised to see Ransom doing the exact opposite. He puts his arm on the back of your chair once he's settled and runs his fingers up the back of your neck as he takes one of the menus to decide on what to eat.

You on the other hand don't even look at the menu because you know exactly what you're going to eat, the same thing as usual.

"Everything looks so good." He says as he flips through the few pages with his free hand.

"It tastes even better, I promise."

"I bet. It smells amazing in here." He quickly glances around to see what is on other people's plates to potentially help him make a decision. There are so many choices and it's hard to choose just one.

A waiter comes over to pour you water and take your orders, leaving swiftly after.

Ransom gets closer and kisses your cheek as he reaches for his glass of water at the same time with his free hand, taking a few quick sips before putting it down. He watches as you lean into his side, smiling as he watches you yawn and rest your head on his shoulder. Bringing his hand up to your head, he gently strokes your hair while kissing the top of your head. "Tired, my love?"

You nod. "Yes. Today was exhausting."

His heart clenches at the painful thought of everything he put you through today. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Ran."

"Yes, I do. I hurt you and I made you cry. I'm sorry."

You tilt your head to be able to look at him without having to move away from his shoulder. "You didn't hurt me or make me cry. I was scared that we were done and I didn't want us to be."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily." He teases, smiling lovingly down at you.

"Good, I don't want you to go anywhere." You smile back at him, a look of pure adoration in your eyes.

Anyone that would look at the two of you right now could see, without even knowing you, that you're in love with each other. The looks, the smiles and the touches are filled with respect and need for each other that makes it beautiful to watch the interaction between you two.

You barely let go of each other long enough to eat and as soon as you're done you find yourself back into Ransom's side.

The same waiter from earlier comes back over to clear your plates and ask if you need anything else.

"I'm full, thank you." You smile before finishing your water and putting your empty glass back on the table.

"Just the check."

You try to pay for your half of the bill but Ransom insists on paying, you know better than to try and fight him. Instead you might "find" $20 in his jeans pockets while doing the laundry, that you'll make sure to give back.

You walk back to the loft with your arm around his waist and his arm around your shoulders. Walking is a great way to help the food go down but the air is getting cold and gets through your clothes.

Once in the elevator Ransom pushes on the button for your floor and wraps his arms around you, hiding you under his coat to help warm you up. Back in the apartment, he locks the door again to keep the other two out for the night and meets you in the bathroom to brush his teeth as you do the same. You both head back to his room, closing the door behind you, then taking off your clothes to get into his bed. He stays in only his briefs while you steal one of his t-shirts to cover yourself with for the night.

"I love you, thank you for tonight." You press a kiss to his chest before laying your head on top of his heart, just in time to hear it flutter at the first three words of your sentence.

"I love you." He rubs your back, closing his eyes as he breathes you in.

Thankfully the day ends in the exact same way it started: You in the arms of the man that you love feeling good and protected, right where you belong.

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babyangelsky · 2 months

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BL Challenge 2k24 ✨Day 5✨

Hello and welcome to @negrowhat's 15 Day BL Challenge! Full challenge can be found here.

Biggest Flop: Beyond the Star (2023)

*long sigh*

Listen, I don't exactly have what I'd call highbrow taste in dramas. I wouldn't even say I have good or consistent taste. I have the taste of a radioactive raccoon living in a Waffle House dumpster and the consistency of Texas spring weather. I have the kind of taste where I haven't watched I Told Sunset About You but I've seen Work from Heart twice. Questionable taste, to put it nicely.

(As an aside, yes, I know ITSAY is a masterpiece. Everyone says it's a masterpiece and I'm sure it is but I've seen the experience of watching it be compared to being run over by a freight train and it's hard to go into something knowing it'll make you cry and piss you off and possibly give you second lead syndrome (I think?). Maybe that's just me, maybe it's a skill issue. I don't know. What I do know is that Work from Heart doesn't feel like getting run over by a freight train and also I only watched it because @poetry-protest-pornography made a post about how great and sincerely horny the love scene was and I always show up for genuine and sincere horniness because that's the kind of degenerate I am. But I'm getting off track.)

I'm an easy girl to please. The only thing I ask of any media I consume is that it entertain me, and if a piece of media can do that, then it has done its job. I try not to go into any show with expectations and generally, I'll give most things a chance if they pique my interest. I think I've only dropped about three shows in my year and change of watching BL.

But having said all that, even an inconsistent degen radioactive raccoon like me couldn't get through more than two episodes of Beyond the Star. Actually I don't think I even made it that far, I might've clicked off halfway through the second one.

When I first saw the pilot I thought, "oh boy, this is going to be a messy fun time!" And I love a messy fun time! But then the trailer came out and I saw that they'd seemingly cut the storyline I was looking forward to the most and I started getting a little nervous. But I still had hope! Maybe they just hadn't shown it in the trailer.

Then the show came out.

It wasn't a messy fun time, it was just a mess. Watching the first episode was such a bizarre experience. I can't remember ever watching a show that just...didn't introduce any of the characters? Like they genuinely gave us nothing in terms of exposition. It felt like we were starting off on episode two or three instead of episode one.

We had no idea who these boys were, why they were here, how they were connected, why the hell we were supposed to care about any of them, NOTHING! Not a blessed thing! And that's not even mentioning the stiff, weird dialogue and acting, the odd pacing, audio issues, and editing.

Genuinely the only enjoyable part of what I saw of this show were the fucking cityscape transition shots.

Like look how pretty that is.

From what I understand there were production issues and scheduling conflicts that resulted in things having to be cut and restructured which obviously affected the final product. I took a look at the reviews on the MDL page just out of curiosity and the general (scathing) consensus is that this show just wasn't it. Things started off bad and just never improved.

#BLChallenge2k24 #beyond the star

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peemanne · 21 days

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Yakuza 3 Review: Shining "Black Sheep"

Hey, it's Pee again. I actually finished writing the first draft of this AND my Yakuza 4 review months ago on my notebook, but I didn't get around to transcribing it digitally until now. Ended up rewriting a lot more than I was expecting haha

Also I still need to finish my 0 review but I'm a little caught up on making my 6 review first, since I'm kind of just dying to talk about it. Anyways, here's Yakuza 3. It's so cool.

This review contains MAJOR SPOILERS.

Reviewed on April 10, 2024. Last completed on March 5, 2023

Completed on PC (Remastered)

Rating: 8/10 (4 Stars)

Yakuza 3’s become something of a black sheep within the community. It might be because of the jump from Kiwami 2 or the lack of a proper port of the original 2, but a part of the community seems to be so adamant about bashing 3, usually because of the combat, the story, or some mix of both. That being said, I’ve noticed that we’re kind of backtracking from that, as more and more people come to praise and appreciate 3, some even calling it one of the best. Personally, I do find myself liking Yakuza 3 quite a bit, though there are definitely a few missteps that hold it back from really sitting there with the other greats in RGG’s catalogue.

I just want to get one thing immediately out of the way as I get into the game’s combat: “Blockuza” is an overblown exaggeration. Kiryu has a lot of tools to get past something like that. With that being said though, Yakuza 3’s early game combat can feel a little miserable at times, especially with some egregiously bad boss fights like Tamashiro 1 and Rikiya. Once you grab the Komaki abilities though, it all really starts to open up for the player. Wall bounding with Kiryu’s moveset is fun, counterattacks like the Komaki Parry and Tiger Drop feel especially beefy in this entry, and 3’s engine allows for some neat off-the-ground tech if you know what you’re doing. While I don’t think it’s quite as satisfying as its predecessor Yakuza 2, Yakuza 3’s hits still feel hefty and impactful, with the aforementioned counterattacks being the big winners here. The sound design in the combat is still really solid, and I believe is something that usually goes underappreciated during discussions of this game’s combat (and in general, really). I also just wanna bring up the weird messed-up faces that appear after you use heat actions on the generic street goons. It’s very funny just how absolutely horrible they look after a fight, and it’s even funnier that this carries over to 4. One aspect that I do feel is a little lacking though is Kiryu’s damage in this entry. It’s weirdly lacking? And it’s not like bosses take too long, that’s not really my problem, but it makes heat actions feel oddly weightless despite the good animation work. Getting everything right for a heat action only for it to barely dent the poor soul you’re beating the snot out of just doesn’t feel the same. For comparison, Y4’s Kiryu feels like he does way more damage with his heat actions, and I think they feel better there because of it, which is interesting when you remember Y4 Kiryu is almost identical to his depiction in 3. Yakuza 3’s combat overall is pretty solid save for the early game. It’s far from the strongest this series has seen, but Kiryu’s moveset feels strong and is just pretty fun to mess around with. Props to Richardson for being the only actually enjoyable gun boss fight in the series. With that being said, please keep Lau Ka Long away from me.

Yakuza 3’s story arguably has Kiryu at his best. He finally gets to breathe in between constant Tojo feuds with some dad slice-of-life stuff at the orphanage, and all of it is just so, so cute. It’s a little slow, sure, and that might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I found myself so charmed by it all. My heart melts seeing Kiryu, who’s gone through so much, get to be happy with his little scamps. The characters really come through here, the stars of course being the Ryudo family. Rikiya’s the brightest one, a fun companion throughout who both contrasts and bounces off of Kiryu well. Then there’s Nakahara and Saki, a sweet encapsulation of the game’s themes of fatherhood. And there’s the kids themselves, all distinct and fun to simply watch run around with their Uncle Kaz. My favorite one is Taichi because he’s awesome.

The rest of the plot though, I’m a little mixed on. There are some genuinely great stuff here: Mine’s an amazing antagonist despite his small amount of screentime, seeing the Tojo so broken down after Kiryu’s shenanigans in 1&2 was interesting (the Nishikiyama family having KANDA as its patriarch is my favorite example of this), Majima’s characterized shockingly well, this game marking the start of him being taken more seriously, and Joji’s honestly a cool ass character despite being an asspull and a half. Unfortunately, Yakuza 3 has a few egregious mistakes that impede it from being an all-timer story for this series. For one, 3 falls victim to a lot of early writing habits that this series eventually broke out of over time. A lot of characters unjustly die for no good reason, Mine and Kashiwagi being the biggest offenders. It also has the big ol’ “Kiryu forgets to disarm the bad guy and said bad guy kills a valued ally” schtick, and it’s as infuriating as ever. Then there’s the “giant exposition dump” chapter, with Yakuza 3 having by far the worst case of it ever with Chapter 9: The Plot, which is almost entirely dedicated to Kiryu and Date sitting down and listening to some politician explain what the hell is even going on. Despite all of this, Yakuza 3’s story is still very enjoyable, and I think it’s very much worth it to endure all of its little shortcomings to appreciate its amazing characters, both new and returning faces.

Side content is decently well-rounded for the most part in Y3. It introduced the series to Karaoke, for which we are all eternally grateful, of course. I really like the hostess songs in this entry, and it’s a shame that most of them don’t return for later games. 3 also has the hitman missions, which is a cool side-activity throughout. Additionally I hate Yakuza 3’s golf and everything it stands for Yakuza 3’s substories consist of a lot of filler substories where not much really happens, but the ones that stand out REALLY stand out. You have a really unique substory that spans from Chapter 9 until the finale in Murder at Cafe Alps, you have some silly gag substories like Kiryu having to cross the street with 2 massive ice-cream cones. You have substories that flesh out characters from the main story, like the amazing Dotting the Eye with Rikiya, and the sweet Date’s Pride substory. You can also have Kiryu say “H e y , s w e e t c h e e k s” in English, if you so please. I love it! 1-4 all have substories that occasionally use full-on cutscenes, and you can tell how much care they put into them. Yeah, it still has that annoying thing from other early games where you can flat-out fail a substory and lock you out of them, but still. Quality selection of substories.

Lastly, 3’s soundtrack. I’m absolutely a sucker for this series’ soundtrack, so I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not biased. Yakuza 3’s music bridges the gap between the roughness and raw power of the original Yakuza 1 & 2’s almost grungelike style with the cleaner compositions of the later games, and I think it works out pretty well! You have your badass tracks like FM-Sound’s Storm, Bruise, and Hear this in the game. You have your intense, climactic songs like the fan-favorite Fly, the beautiful Lyricism Without Tears (which, as a bonus, gets one of the coolest track names this series has ever been graced with), and the underrated End Point. I find Yakuza 3’s OST isn’t really talked about all that much outside of the justified praise of Fly, which is a real shame, because there are some real quality tracks on display here.

Yakuza 3 stands as a very solid game in its own right, even with a few annoyances bogging it down. I don’t think it deserved all of the unending slander it seems to receive. I love my dad Kiryu, I love seeing him hang out with his kids, and, despite all the bad, I still love this game. Also, Albert Wesker’s in it, and I think that’s pretty funny.

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #like a dragon #ramblings of the pee-man #Yakuza 3 SPOILERS #I got YAKUZA 3 SPOILERS in here..........

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megnificent-reads · 3 months

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A Court of Wings and Ruin - Christ alive/5 ☆

Warning - this review is 1.2k words, and 98% negative. If you love SJM and the ACOTAR series, love that for you /gen. However, for your own mental health, I genuinely would not recommend you read this. For everyone else, and those who hate-read, Let's begin!

~~~

Okay, so I actually rated this 2 stars on Goodreads because I didn’t hate it the whole time but, I’m mad about it so it gets a special rating. ♡

I honestly lament when I was excited to read this book. Being what I refer to as a Lucien Lover (nuanced), I enjoyed a good bit of the beginning of this book. That’s not to say I wholeheartedly enjoyed every word of the first 100 pages of this book.

So we start with Feyre in the throes of rage, becoming a master manipulator. Now, before I put just a minute or two of thought into it, I loved it. I love a girl tearing shit apart and using intellegence as a form of strength. However…

Anybody think she was doing a little too much…?

Like, okay, Tamlin fucked up. Big time. I will admit justice is needed! Love when women take back power! But not only dismantling his entire country but turning everyone against him for things that he actually did not do? Crazy! He sucks! But people still live in that country. We still need order! His life is ruined now and I don’t necessarily think all that was necessary.

Tamlin sidebar: “my father and my father’s father did the Tithe, so I’m going to do it.” Didn’t you acknowledge two books ago that your father sucks absolute ass? What fucking sense does that make? How in the first book was he the Perfect Moral Man that now can’t see the very evident immorality in the shit you’re doing. Anywhoozers.

So, Feyre has her cool girl moments and returns to the Night Court. In book one, I was bored out of my mind until we arrived in Rhys-land. (Good one). This time, it was like the moment we arrived here the magic was lost. I was no longer excited to read. And honestly, I think the big issue was actually our beloved bat-boy, Rhysand.

I don’t know her personally, so this is not an attack on her character, but I’m starting to feel like SJM writes Rhysand based off of her fantasy version of what a man is like. Dominating, but soft and loving. Perfectly moral. Capable of evil, deplorable things, but too loving of people and their dreams to be that way. I’m going to be referring to it as PMS (Perfect Man Syndrome).

Many of her men (sorry, males) are unfortunate PMS victims, but Rhysand is by far the worst. I wish I had underlined it when I was reading so I could cite it, but there’s just something about his actions. He is PMSing so hard that he doesn’t develop at all. He was old enough to be grown during the faerie-UK version of the Amercian Civil War where of course he was anti-slavery the entire time despite being raised by people who appeared to be violent racists. Good for our educated king. He also, of course, runs a sanctuary for abused women.

Of course, I’m not saying that being anti-slavery and supporting abused women is bad. I love it. But like… be real with me here. I know that this is fictional. It’s not real. We can be happy here. But can I have some dimension, please? This man is the personality version of Flat Stanley. We had two conflicts between them since they got together and both were resolved by Rhys nearly getting on his knees and saying everything is his fault and he’s so sorry. The first conflict was just her thinking she stepped out of her Womenly Line and him not even knowing there was an issue.

He’s just so. Fucking. Boring.

Moving on. ♡.

Let’s talk about what makes me so goddamn angry about this book. I’ve seen complaints about SJM where other people are saying that other people call her books feminist literature. I personally have never heard anybody say that, but if I did, I don’t know if I would be able to control the rant that would ensue.

I’m willing to have a civilized conversation, but I don’t remember Feyre actually doing anything. Yes, SJM puts her women in positions of power. Do they use said power? Maybe once or twice.

Amren is an ex-god with powers above any character we’ve met so far. We see it used I think once. The rest of the time is spent talking about her power and her holding down the fort at Velaris while everyone else is off to war.

Morrigan - also very powerful (described only). I remember her power being “truth” and never elaborating on that. She is a known soldier, that doesn’t fight.

During the two huge battles, Feyre, Nesta, and Morrigan are on the ground while Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel are in the air fighting. After the first battle, Feyre is seen tending to her beloved mate’s wounds, Nesta is fetching water for Cassian, and Morrigan is getting mad at Nesta for wanting to fuck Cassian. So strong of all of them.

Azriel is there doing… nothing. Which he has a habit of doing. Speaking of habits, SJM will create characters that I like because I’m excited to see how they will grow and develop.

She then proceeds to do nothing with them.

I know more books are coming, as they will with SJM until the end of time, but it’s starting to drag. I love Elain. Well, I love what Elain could be. She’s a seemingly fragile, docile character. With her Seer powers, I was excited to see her notice the world around her sucks and develop into somone capable of holding their own. Instead, she uses her powers to relay some cryptic messages that no one heeds or even tries to, then she “snaps out of it” and can’t really do anything else.

Azriel has a tragic backstory and seemingly a big story to tell. God, I wish I could ever fucking hear it.

This is getting exceptionally long, but I remembered I had a list of things I wanted from ACOWAR and didn’t receive, so I’ll pick one more thing off.

The Ouroboros. Out of all symbols, the Ouroboros is my favorite. Cycles and inevitability and all that. We spend a good chunk of this book leading up to Feyre retrieving this. It drives everyone mad. Only the strongest can look in it and survive. I was so excited to see what she saw! What the battle with herself would be like! How does she overcome it?

I guess we’ll never know.

She ended up seeing… herself? I guess she wasn’t previously aware of her flaws and then simply accepted them. Would love to have seen it!

And to finally end this review, I think the Ouroboros is a good symbol of every issue I have with this book. There’s so much build up and excitement that ultimately leads nearly no explanation. It’s like there’s ideas and concepts but then no idea how to execute them.

I won’t be reading ACOFAS or ACOSF or anything else. I already didn’t want to, then I found out about the pregnancy thing and. Yeah. I think I’m good off that.

#books #book review #acowar #acowar spoilers #acotar spoilers #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #bookblr

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muthaz-rapapa · 6 months

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Hirogaru Sky Impressions (4/5)

Keeping this short since I’m still tired from my trip and have stuff to do before going back to work tomorrow.

Thankfully, the past 10 eps only consisted of Majesty’s debut and some (really great) fillers.

Starting with Majesty then. I’m honestly surprised I was correct about them keeping her a toddler despite aging her up when transforming. And as I guessed as much, this means she doesn’t really have a full-fledged character arc of her own.

Not that it’s a bad thing since Ellee-chan still gets a good amount of development cuz she’s a growing child, after all. Which is mainly shown through things like her speech improving significantly each day, learning how to better express herself and her wants. And of course, the heartwarming interactions with her friends who also have their moments in finding the best ways they can to support her (like how Ageha readily believed Ellee-chan who was frustrated when she had trouble transforming into Majesty).

These are all within range of what is expected for a child her age so a whole arc isn’t really needed and therefore, more time and focus can be dedicated to the older Cures, too. So I’m quite pleased with that.

But I also can’t lie that it’s a shame we won’t see what a preteen Ellee-chan is like outside her alter ego.

That and considering her VA is Aoi Koga (of Kaguya-sama fame), we won’t get to hear a further extent of her acting in this role either.

Don’t get me wrong, Aoi Koga absolutely nailed the part of a baby, able to bring out Ellee-chan’s cuteness without making her sound annoying but…the potential is already a loss at this point.

Additionally, for a midseason Cure, Majesty has the least going for her in other departments compared to those before her.

Up till now, they’ve barely scraped at the lore associated with her identity. So when she’s not fighting, she’s limited to being slightly better than the average mascot.

The only attack in her arsenal is simultaneously a group attack so she has to share it with the others. Not to mention half the stock footage doesn’t have her at the center but Sky instead. Despite the attack bearing her name.

With only 8 eps left in the season, it seems the writers brought Majesty out as part of Precure’s yearly formula schedule more than anything. Her purpose is mainly to renew viewers’ excitment in the show (and generate desire to buy the newest toy) since her debut brings a little something new to the table…but she is not allowed to outshine this season’s real star, the lead Cure.

Personally, I think the pros outweigh the cons so it doesn’t bother me too much but it’s also too noticeably flawed and biased for me to really accept it as okay.

Moving on, the fillers.

They were all amazing, definitely better than the previous 10 eps.

Mashiro continuing to pursue the path towards becoming a picture book author and coming to terms with the fact that not everyone will receive her work with good reviews yet still choosing to draw because she’s doing it for herself and those who do enjoy her books was something that resonated with me deeply.

Then more time was devoted to her childhood friendship with Ageha which was super wonderful. We really needed that ep of how they became friends and the writers delivered so excellent job 👍

Ageha finally encountering struggles in her job and learning that it was okay to show sadness in front of her students was something I’ve been waiting a long time to see as well. It was especially good because it corresponded splendidly with the first ep of Otona Precure within the same week (which is also great so far) as the intro of that dealt with Nozomi trying to help her own student.

Portraying adults as realistic adults instead of perfect caricatures who can do anything. Showing hardships by not sweeping them under the rug but acknowleding them with the screentime they deserve so the characters can actually process their own feelings and work out a solution. Displaying a healthy level of idealism, not based on generic platitudes but actual belief. I really appreciate that.

Yoyo cleverly getting Tsubasa a promotion to a sage in Skyland’s royal court was also 10,000 meters of screaming joy for me cuz yea, that boy is way too smart and talented to just settle for flying around. He clearly treasures his homeland and wants to make it a better place for all its inhabitants, including the Dragon Tribe that had been cut off from the rest of the country for decades. He obviously has what it takes to become a diplomat.

He acquired a new dream to devote himself and his skills to and that’s what anyone who’s as wholesome as Tsubasa should get. So it was fulfilling to see that come true for him.

Lastly, Sora. She only had one ep to herself this time but it was a good ep with a good topic (probably one of the best of the Sora eps). Honestly, I think I liked it more because it was only one ep, lol

So yea, with this, I think I’m all set for the rest of the show as far as Tsubasa and Ageha’s arcs are concerned. There will still be more fillers until ep 45 at least, plenty of time to close out the Mashiro and Sora’s as well as the lore surrounding Ellee-chan so it’s just a matter of concluding the story in a satisfying manner.

Other than that, I’m also wondering if we’ll get any super forms for HiroSky since it’s already this late in the season…

…but you never know as it can happen in the finale. Not sure if HiroSky will get its standalone movie in Mar either but if so, we might see something there, too.

Ok, that is all. The season will pass by in a flash so enjoy the rest of HiroSky with a full heart and let’s begin to look forward to next Precure in the new year. Bye for now!

#hirogaru sky precure

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andromedaexists · 6 months

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The Teras Trials || Lucien Burr

★★★★☆½

TW: HOMOPHOBIA (+ USE OF SLURS), SUBSTANCE USE, ABUSE, CATHOLICISM (+ SACRILEGE), BODY HORROR, BODY DYSMORPHIA, GORE + VIOLENCE, DEATH (GRAPHIC), SUICIDE (GRAPHIC), EXPLICIT SEX

This book is pretty much just a misery fest from start to finish. Things go from bad to worse to somehow worse but instead of resolving things or overcoming them they just... are bad.

Okay, all jokes aside (the prev is a quote from a 1 star review), this book is phenomenal. It follows Cassius Jones through the admission trials he needs to pass in order to enter the University in London and keep his family safe within the walls of the city.

I think it's safe to say that this is how I feel about Cassius Jones:

God, it's so hard to encapsulate everything about this book into words. This book changed me. Legitimately.

I guess before I start rambling, let's talk about why it's getting a 4.5 star and not a 5 start if I love it so much. That's simple: I felt that the book could go through a bit more editing (I found quite a few typos though the text) and I fucking despise Latin and I despise that this book makes me want to like Latin.

Okay, all that aside, time to ramble about what I love about this book!

This is an incredibly dark and bleak book and it does not shy away from that. It does not try to hide that behind a shiny marble veneer of myth. It is also unapologetically queer and I love that with every fiber of my being. Cassius is queer, and i mean that in the very American way (despite the book and I think author being British). Cassius is not only gay, he is queer and he is proud of that fact and nothing stands in the way of him and his inherent queerness.

There is very little hope in this book, it takes a mirror to the monstrosity lying just below the surface of the reader and forces you to confront that. Forces you to acknowledge that if you were in the same situation you would have done the same.

There is a lot of finding beauty in the monstrous here, only the monstrous is humanity. There is a lot of beauty and a lot of horror shown through people in this book and it enraptured me, held me at the edge of me seat the entire time I was reading.

I was crying at multiple times in this book because of the way that monstrosity and beauty is shown. One of the times that really got me (twitter and Rafiq can attest to this) was the line:

God, is it such a sin to wish to be loved?

IN THE MIDDLE OF A SEX SCENE. I was weeping while Cassius was getting his back blown out and I am a better person for it.

Actually, since I brought out a quote, lemme tell you some other ones that got me:

You cannot escape it by wealth or war. No fort will keep it out, no ships outrun it.

I feel the brunt of my grief at that moment. I am my father's queer son. I am not the one he wanted.

I fear being seen; I fear being known.

The admission itself makes us co-conspirators, harbourers of queer desires in a queer little world.

For there is no escape from miasma, no hiding from the gods, no avoiding the judgement that is deserved.

I think my soul is a whore;

"Are you a Godly man?" "For you, I could be."

I also particularly love the conversations in Latin. I can't say too much on them without spoiling it so please skip over this if you don't want potential spoilers, but:

Horresco olfaciens tuum putridam odorem, qui sicut sanginem alterium putet (I shudder to smell your putrid odor, which stinks like the blood of another)

Vivo ut te concelebram et prosequar, quod mihi voluptatem dat (I live to haunt and hound you)

Amore et melle et felle es fecundissimus (You are most prolific in love and pleasant things and poison)

and of course, a Latin quote that I literally have tattooed on my body:

Flectere si nequeo Superos, Acheronta movebo (If I cannot move the Heavens, then I will raise Hell)

And if I can get a little nerdy over here (I'm gonna), the book mentions at one point the Homeric Hymn to Apollo! I know those hymns, they're something I did special research into last year! Specifically here he references Hymn 3, the Pythian Hymn to Apollon, lines 356-374:

ὃς τῇ γ᾽ ἀντιάσειε, φέρεσκέ μιν αἴσιμον ἦμαρ, πρίν γέ οἱ ἰὸν ἐφῆκε ἄναξ ἑκάεργος Ἀπόλλων καρτερόν: ἣ δ᾽ ὀδύνῃσιν ἐρεχθομένη χαλεπῇσι κεῖτο μέγ᾽ ἀσθμαίνουσα κυλινδομένη κατὰ χῶρον. θεσπεσίη δ᾽ ἐνοπὴ γένετ᾽ ἄσπετος: ἣ δὲ καθ᾽ ὕλην πυκνὰ μάλ᾽ ἔνθα καὶ ἔνθα ἑλίσσετο, λεῖπε δὲ θυμὸν φοινὸν ἀποπνείουσ᾽: ὃ δ᾽ ἐπηύξατο Φοῖβος Ἀπόλλων: ἐνταυθοῖ νῦν πύθευ ἐπὶ χθονὶ βωτιανείρῃ: οὐδὲ σύ γε ζώουσα κακὸν δήλημα βροτοῖσιν ἔσσεαι, οἳ γαίης πολυφόρβου καρπὸν ἔδοντες ἐνθάδ᾽ ἀγινήσουσι τεληέσσας ἑκατόμβας: οὐδέ τί τοι θάνατόν γε δυσηλεγέ᾽ οὔτε Τυφωεὺς ἀρκέσει οὔτε Χίμαιρα δυσώνυμος, ἀλλά σέ γ᾽ αὐτοῦ πύσει Γαῖα μέλαινα καὶ ἠλέκτωρ Ὑπερίων. ὣς φάτ᾽ ἐπευχόμενος: τὴν δὲ σκότος ὄσσε κάλυψε. τὴν δ᾽ αὐτοῦ κατέπυσ᾽ ἱερὸν μένος Ἠελίοιο, ἐξ οὗ νῦν Πυθὼ κικλήσκεται: οἳ δὲ ἄνακτα Πύθιον ἀγκαλέουσιν ἐπώνυμον, οὕνεκα κεῖθι αὐτοῦ πῦσε πέλωρ μένος ὀξέος Ἠελίοιο.

Tanslated by Hugh G. Evelyn-White as:

Whosoever met the dragoness, the day of doom would sweep him away, until the lord Apollo, who deals death from afar, shot a strong arrow at her. Then she, rent with bitter pangs, lay drawing great gasps for breath and rolling about that place. An awful noise swelled up unspeakable as she writhed continually this way and that amid the wood: and so she left her life, breathing it forth in blood. Then Phoebus Apollo boasted over her:

“Now rot here upon the soil that feeds man' You at least shall live no more to be a fell bane to men who eat the fruit of the all-nourishing earth, and who will bring hither perfect hecatombs. Against cruel death neither Typhoeus shall avail you nor ill-famed Chimera, but here shall the Earth and shining Hyperion make you rot.”

Thus said Phoebus, exulting over her: and darkness covered her eyes. And the holy strength of Helios made her rot away there; wherefore the place is now called Pytho, and men call the lord Apollo by another name, Pythian; because on that spot the power of piercing Helios made the monster rot away.

This review is getting kind of out of hand at this point, I just don't know if I can whittle down my thoughts into just one post about it. This book has changed me. This book is everything I never knew I needed, it healed a small part of my soul that I had thought was untouchable. I am fully considering my relationship with religion and how that can mesh with the very things that drove me from my faith because of this book. It is beautiful and I highly recommend people read it (while being mindful of the content warnings, of course)

#I'm literally shell shocked #I have a lot to think about in regards to how I view the world and my ex-relationship with Catholicism #It's going on the recommendation shelf for fucking sure #andi reads #book reviews #booklr #bookblr #lgbt books #queer books #queer book directory #Lucien Burr #The Teras Trial #also people need to get on this book so I can peruse fanart and fanfic

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 2 years

Text

so I just read Clementine Book One and now I taste nothing but salt

here are my first impression notes-

the spoiler free version: It’s bad. Like things weren’t great but I was vibin’ until about chapter 8, then it took a nose dive into shit.

Can’t wait to read it several more times and write up the full review because ha ha I have a lot to say and very little of it is nice.

1/5 stars, and yes, Amos makes up that one star, otherwise this would get nothing from me.

the spoiler version:

before I even begin, I should give a brief summary of how I’m feeling, that way I can compare the pre-read/post-read feelings: Ugh. I feel ugh.

now that we’ve documented that, let’s begin.

alright, not even a a full page in and I’m already so blehh about this not being in color. For those who don’t know, color is important in Tillie Walden’s other works. In my opinion, the way she uses color is the best thing about her work because it compliments her messier style of linework, working with it rather than against it. But when everything is greyscale, it’s so boring and lifeless... sure, it’s the walking dead and the world sucks and I’m sure skybound wanted this comic to match the others so Tillie doesn’t even get to work with the thing she excels at.... great.

sooooo Clementine is on crutches, she’s using them and a knife to kill a bunch of walkers........ why isn’t she covering herself in walker guts in order to make it past herds without having to fight and run? y’know, like a smart person?

she broke her peg leg and fell down... and the very first thing we get outta her as far as dialogue is “euch”..... amazing

gasp, is that an Amos I see? must be, Clementine’s glaring at him.

“what’s it like on the road? are there lots of devils ‘n stuff?” oh please tell me that these people call the walkers “devils,” please, that’s hilarious

Okay, so remember Denny? The guy who was in the teaser pages we got forever ago but I wasn’t sure of his name so I just named him Denny because he was a dentist. Turns out his name is Rabby, but I’m tempted to keep calling him Denny just outta spite.

Still rolling my eyes at the fact that this Clementine doesn’t know how to take care of her leg as if she doesn’t know basic first aid.

Yes, Clementine, obviously you have to wash your leg regularly to prevent infection, obviously you have to redress it often, you should know that.

Anyway, Denny is a chill dude, too bad Clementine is so insistent on getting outta there so she can climb a tree.

“Hey! Hat boy! You’ve got company!” .......hat boy. Ugh.

not impressed with the overall dialogue so far, you can really feel that this isn’t a telltale voice, y’know?

y’know, this Clementine feels like if ANF Clementine never found AJ and TFS never happened, she just went on with her angst train, lost her leg some other way, and now ended up here.

I’m glad Amos finds Clem funny, because I find her dull.... god that’s not a sentence I want to be typing.

...Alright, I don’t know what’s supposed to be happening, Clementine and Amos [mostly Amos, Clementine wanted to leave] saved three? I think I could three? people and it looked like one of them was gonna turn into a walker but no? he’s not? I’m sorry, was he trying to crawl forward and Clem took that as a threat? did he grab her and she attacked? I think that’s the implication since she them stomped on his hand and someone else in the carriage said “what did you do to that girl?” ..... sure wish I could tell what the hell was actually happening.

but also, not at all surprised that Tillie would throw in a “and then Clementine got groped by an old man,” based on some of her other novels.

Oh..... Helen is the horse. Pfffttttt..... it took me how many pages to realize Amos is talking about the horse and not someone back at the town?? uuughhhhhh

Amos is literally the only likable thing so far. He actually has a voice and personality whereas Clementine is just an angsty piece of bread.

Ugh. Evil twins who won’t give their names.

PFFFTTT.... oh no, the evil twins killed Helen! Who could’ve seen that coming?? Literally everyone??? SKSKSKSKS

Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh about a dead horse but c’mon, the cheapest way to get a reader/viewer to feel something is to kill an animal and like, now Amos is all sad and I’m shaking my head and sipping my wine.

oh good, the new love interest is here.

......what. why are you blushing and looking at Clementine already? y’all met two seconds ago and had one conversation.

They’re calling the twins Right and Left.... alright then.

Amos is my favorite so far. He’s the only one who has gotten a laugh outta me.

Nawww look at the three of them being friends, this is tooooootally gonna last, mmhmmm....

oop Ricca made a remark about Clem’s leg and she got upset, now Amos is sick. Lame.

AH YES, LEAVE AMOS ALONE AND SICK WITH THE EVIL TWINS, THAT’S FINE SKSKSKS

oh my god, this whole Clementine and Ricca “romance” is so.... not even a romance, I’m cackling

KJASLKJLAKJDSLKJSAD WHY

WHY THOUGH

oh now we’re just gonna info dump Ricca’s backstory? turns out she had a brother who used to push her ahead when checking for danger and then broke her glasses so that she had to rely on him until she found another working pair, so then she abandoned him and never looked back.

CLEMENTINE NAMED HER LEG KENNY THAT REVIEW WAS RIGHT I CAN’T WHAT A GARBAGE CHOICE

Kenny was probably one of the worst people to have Clementine name her leg after. Naming her prosthetic leg after the guy who beat the shit out of Arvo... the kid who wore a brace on his leg? who struggled more and more to move around the more Kenny beat him up? great choice.

“he was moody” HHAHAHAHHAHA YEAH THAT’S ONE WAY TO DESCRIBE KENNY SURE

Oh for fucks sake, we’re gonna flashback to AJ cutting off her leg, huh? why bother?

who the fuck is this???

Tim???? Who the fuck is Tim??? AND HE GOT BIT SAVING CLEMENTINE

I’m laughing

what is even happening

Amos and one of the twins wanna run off.... what

okay seriously, the art is making it so hard to understand what the hell is happening

...........what

what

do you hear that? in the distance? that’s me... I’m laughing. Why? Because the evil twin fucking pushed Amos off a cliff and then stomped on her sister.... she literally murdered Amos and it came out of FUCKING NO WHERE

Amos was the one good character in this book and you killed him. You killed the only good thing. What is this pacing? there was no set up for that, you just pushed him, and I’m..... what the fuck is this writing?

Oh, and apparently one of the twins isn’t evil. Olivia is supposedly good but the other one is evil. I know this because sHE PUSHED AMOS OFF A CLIFF

OKAY

I’m fucking choking on my wine because for the first time, I’m legit pissed.

The reason Clementine left the school? the REAL reason? Clementine left Ericson because “But after I lost my leg, everything felt different. No one *said* it, but I could feel it. They thought I was a liability. But I think the real issue... was that I couldn’t talk to and of them about it. They were all around my age, and I... I just wanted to talk to Lee about it. Someone older, and I don’t know....”

Are you

Are you fucking serious

Are you shitting me

are you fucKING

oh my god

oh my fucking hell

you

...............................

Tillie, Skybound, we need to talk because you

I am so

........................

Ricca just called Clementine baby.

oh and she’s shot

and the evil twin is dead

but who gives a shit, really?

my entire mouth tastes of salt what the fuck

they found a stupid plane but I no longer care about anything, I’m mad that Amos is dead for no reason other and that THAT was the reason Clementine left

“Continued in Book 2″ oh fuck off

So, how do I feel now? compared to when I started? I feel UUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Take that as you will.

Stay turned for the full review. Don’t know when it’ll be out but I gotta read this stupid thing a couple more times before I start. Ugh.

#clem comic spoilers #twdg clementine #y'all..... what the hell #i expected disappointment and it's exactly what I got #twdg

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art-of-manliness · 4 months

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The Best of The Art of Manliness: 2023

Another year has drawn to a close here on The Art of Manliness. We’re taking this week off to enjoy the holidays and reset for the year to come. While we’re away, please enjoy some of the best and most popular content we published here on AoM in 2023. From podcasts that took philosophical dives into big questions to articles that offered guides to practical life skills, we’ve covered it all — all with the aim of helping readers and listeners live more meaningful lives and start taking action on big and small things alike. Podcast Most Popular Podcasts of the Year Based on Listens * 7 Journaling Techniques That Can Change Your Life * Escape the Happiness Trap * The Power of Keeping Your Mouth Shut in a World That Won’t Stop Talking * The Essential Habits for Becoming an Agile, Vital, and Durable Human Being * Optimize Your Testosterone * Become a Morning Workout Person * Master Microtransitions to Improve the Happiness, Success, and Flow of Your Life * Advice on Making Love Last . . . From a Divorce Lawyer * The Wisdom of Psychopaths * How to Avoid Death by Comfort * Get Fit, Not Fried — The Benefits of Zone 2 Cardio * The 5 Shifts of Manhood Our Personal Picks (Some of the most popular above would be included in this list as well): * What Lifting Ancient Stones Can Teach You About Being a Man * Thick Desires, Political Atheism, and Living an Anti-Mimetic Life * The Most Insightful Personality Test * Throw a 2-Hour Cocktail Party That Can Change Your Life * The Survival Myths That Can Get You Killed * Counterintuitive Ideas About Marriage, Family, and Kids * Break Your Bad Habits by Escaping the Scarcity Loop * Turn Your Anxiety Into a Strength * The Golden Rules of Success * Unpacking the Emotion No One Likes to Talk About * What the World of Psychology Gets Wrong About Men We created a Spotify Playlist with all of our best podcasts of 2023. You can listen in the player below or here. If you’ve enjoyed and gotten something out of the podcast this year, we’d be very grateful if you decided to subscribe to the show or left it a review. Both things give the show a big boost and help more people discover it. Articles Most Popular Articles of the Year Based on Traffic * Use the 90/10 Rule to Decide Where to Live * 7 Japanese Concepts That Can Improve Your Life * My New Favorite Knot * How to Do a Dopamine Reset * Thomas Jefferson’s 10 Rules for Life * The Digestive Power of an After-Dinner Walk * Legendary Bodybuilder Mike Mentzer’s Heavy Duty Method for Maximum Muscle Growth * The Rocky Films, Ranked * 50 Amazing Rarely Seen Photos From World War II * Beyond the Standard To-Do: 8 Lists You Should Be Keeping * The Ideal Man According to 7 Different Philosophers * Dumbbell Workouts for Size and Strength Our Personal Picks * Nolan Ryan Energy * Aristotle’s 11 Excellences for Living a Flourishing Life * What Happened to Our Mental Bandwidth? * The Stages of a Man’s Life * How to Manage the Vampire Problem * Exit, Voice, Loyalty, Neglect: Why People Leave, Stay, or Try to Burn It All Down * 14 Attributes of Greatness * Think Like Feynman: Why You Should Have 12 Favorite Problems * How to Choose What Advice to Take * Is the 7-Year-Itch Real? * Are You a Strategist or an Operator? * 5 Lessons From the Iron Sunday Firesides Favorites * You Never Know How Many Chapters Are Still to Come * No Bad Feelings * Through Disappointment to the Stars * Worry More About Rusting Out Than Burning Out * The Courage to Be Well * There’s Only So Far You Can Get Off Track in a Week * Life Is for Living * Parent the Immature in Others * The Saddest Epitaph * Attention Adults — You Should Know What You’re Doing * Switch Off Your Handicap Radio * Remember IT Will Die To never miss an article or episode of the podcast, be sure to subscribe to our FREE email newsletter. You can choose the daily or weekly option. Big thanks to everyone who… http://dlvr.it/T0gDk9

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quiet-in-the-wild · 5 months

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2, 6, 12, and 25 for the end of year book asks please!

2 Did you reread anything? What?

I did! I re-read a lot this year. I re-read the hunger games trilogy - the last time I read that was like 10 years ago & I read each one in like one night lol! So it was nice taking some time to go through it slower already knowing the plot really well. & it still stands up. Its some really powerful storytelling

I also am re-reading the series of unfortunate events- (I’m currently on book 5) I loved that series as a kid and reading it now- wow it’s sad. So much abuse and bad adults. It definitely makes me feel sad for my little self who identified a lot with those kids when I was 12. But I still want to finish the series I only read to book 9 as a kid & it goes to 13.

6 Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Yes!! I had it checked out as an ebook but never got around to reading it- Colin Meloy has a new book out

The stars did wander Darkling. He writes middle grade fiction & his wife Carson Ellis usually illustrates it. This one is set in the 80s in Portland & has a supernatural spooky vibe to it

I could check it out now- but I already am trying to read 4 other books lol

12 Any books that disappointed you?

Yes, but not many this year though!

But I wasn’t a fan of You were born for this by Chani Nicholas - it was an astrology book that had a lot of good reviews. I just didn’t connect with it at all.

25 What reading goals do you have for next year?

I always set my reading goal as 12 books a year & then adjust as the year goes on I think one year I only got 7 but this year I’ve read 16 books - 18 if I can get the two finished that I’m so close to being done with

Thanks for asking!!

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jacquelinemerritt · 1 year

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Dragon Ball Z: Abridged Episode 22 Review

Originally posted on November 8th, 2015

Setup with absolutely no payoff.

Here’s a question: do I have the right to critique a show for circumstances beyond its creators’ control? Because “The Good, The Bad, and The Purple” is the kind of episode where that critique is unfortunately kind of necessary.

Up until now I’ve been treating Dragonball Z: Abridged as being separate but closely related to the original show, and I’ve done my best to refrain from critiquing Team Four Star for parts of the story from the original show that are both dull and unavoidable. With “The Purple,” I’m going to have to modify that approach a little though, because while there is a lot of material that Team Four Star simply can’t get rid of, it still is up to them to decide how to arrange their story so that it doesn’t feel dull or pointless.

My biggest issue with this episode is that it’s all setup with absolutely no payoff. Nail and Freeza meet and fly off to do battle, and nothing comes of that. Jeice teams up with Captain Ginyu to fight Goku, but the most that comes of their fight is that Goku ends up in Ginyu’s body.

That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem if we had gotten some solid character interactions out of it, but all of the interesting characters (Goku’s friends) fly off and leave him, leaving probably the least interesting character to bounce off of the least interesting character in the Ginyu force (the Captain).

The only character that seems to actually accomplish something interesting this episode is Bulma, and she’s only on screen for about thirty seconds. This is something that could have been planned around, but it wasn’t, and “Purple” clearly suffers for it.

That’s not to say the episode is all bad, of course. The scenes at Lord Guru’s, despite being mostly buildup, do have their own internal payoff, as seeing Freeza interact with Nail and Lord Guru is incredibly satisfying. All three characters are incredibly well defined, and the way their personalities clash and play off each other makes for a hilarious scene that’s satisfying all on its own.

And Bulma’s continued anger at being left out of the story is satisfying as well, with it almost seeming as if she’s cursing fate (Toriyama) for making her unable to contribute (while Team Four Star wisely goes out of their way to include her and make her seem valuable).

Rating: 3/5

If you liked this review, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

Super Kami Guru: “And so I tell him, I don’t care who you are, CLEAN MY JOWELS! And that was Nail’s first day on the job.”

Krillin: “The sky turns blacker than the darkest void.” Mr. Popo, back on earth: “Hm?”

Nail: “Did you try working the shaft?” Freeza: “Classy.”

Nail: “He’s asking how to work the Dragonballs.” Super Kami Guru: “Did you tell him to work the shaft?” Nail: “Yes, Lord Guru.” Super Kami Guru: “Good work, Nail.”

Super Kami Guru: “Oh god, natural light!”

Bulma: “I fought a giant crab!” Krillin: “They make a special shampoo for that, I hear.”

#dragon ball z abridged #dragon ball z #team four star #dbza #film criticism #dbza ep22 #👍

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claireelizabethsblog · 4 months

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~ December's Books Reviewed ~

The Dreamer Trilogy by Maggie Stiefvater

(1,101 pages total)

I wasn't expecting to enjoy this trilogy as much as I did. I loved the characters in particular, but the plot was also engaging and went in directions I wasn't expecting. I would say that my one regret would be that I hadn't read the previous trilogy first. Maybe I'll go back and read it later but considering I now know where all the characters stories end I don't know how much enjoyment I'll get out of watching people pine and/or fight until they work out the relationships I know they will get to. That being said, I didn't feel like I missed out on any enjoyment while reading it as a result of not reading the first trilogy. I fell right into the story and the characters easily and really truly did love all the dynamics etc.

I gave this trilogy between 4-4.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️(🌗)

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab

(541 pages)

Absolutely incredible. So worth the wait (I've been trying to find this book in a shop for AGES!) and very pleased that I finally found a copy. Absolutely chilling at points and definitely almost has minorly horroresque elements (but this is coming from someone who really hates horror books so probably isn't that bad to most!) It almost made me cry (and I'm not a cryer) too. Basically, I'd definitely recommend!

I gave this book 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Poppy War Trilogy by R.F. Kuang

(1,862 pages total)

*SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW*

A little heavy on military scenes for me. I found it a tad confusing at points, and definitely began to run out of steam towards the end of the trilogy. However, it did keep me engaged through all three books and I did finish the trilogy so it was far from bad. Overall I think it was an interesting read, and I did really like the sort of slow realisation that you had that the "protagonist"/speaker was actually most definitely the villain. I think loads of people would absolutely love this trilogy, and Kuang is a fantastic writer, it just maybe wasn't for me.

I gave this trilogy 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

The Maidens by Alex Michaelides

(356 pages)

Was okay. Not great, but certainly not bad either. Kept my attention throughout, and I honestly wasn't expecting the twist at the end so that was undeniably successful. I will say that without knowing anything about the author, it was very very clear to me from about 20 pages in that he was a male writer writing from the perspective of a female protagonist. I googled and I can confirm the author is male. He didn't do anything overtly sexist or anything, I think there is just a vibe that you can pick up on.

I gave this book 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

The Betrayals by Bridget Collins

(423 pages)

The only reason this book isn't getting 1 star (and the only reason I think I was able to finish it) is because of its potential. The game at the centre of the story is never explained, nor was the government, nor (as far as I could work out, but I confess to beginning to slightly skim read) was the entire character of "the rat" and the point of their storyline. The relationships and descriptive language felt uncomfortable to me, and a very old fashioned approach to many things. The "twist" felt badly set up and overused. Additionally, the entire thing was just unnecessarily complex, like the author was trying to show off how clever and intellectual they were, but failed.

I gave this book 1.5 stars ⭐️🌗

Curtain: Poirot's Last Case by Agatha Christie

(284 pages)

Quick, easy, enjoyable. Almost got emotional reading the end of Poirot, but it also was a very fitting end for him too. I loved the symmetry with the first case and book too. Basically, a Poirot novel is never not going to be good.

I gave this book 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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theselightsareblinding · 10 months

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Currently watching (june 2023)

(only thai dramas right now)

Be my favorite (ep5)

I started getting interested in this series when they announced the cast change, mostly for the drama. Then when the actual trailer aired I was like uhhh this could go very badly or turn out quite good, and at episode 5 I think we're going to get the second option. But I loved Vice Versa's first episodes and then it stopped making sense so I'm not 100% confident yet. This being said, I'm enjoying it a lot, both Gawin and Krist are doing an excellent job so far, all the characters have unique personalities and development, it has beautiful reflections about life and personal relationships. I can't wait for fridays so I can watch the next episode and that's the real test to know I'm loving it so far. Next week we'll get the "why do you like me?" and hair touch scene and I'm obsessed since I saw it in the trailer, I literally can not wait to watch it

Loneliness society (ep4)

I haven’t seen anyone mention this but this is an adaptation of a Sandra Bullock movie, which I like a lot so I decided to give it a try. So far so good, the mains are nice, have chemistry and it’s entertaining so far

Step by Step (ep9)

The problem I have with this series is that I was never able to connect with Pat, maybe because he’s so openly emotional and I’m not? But I can’t, I tried but no. I’m sorry but in my eyes he’s quite self centered and self important, I don’t understand why everybody, especially Jeng (who is his boss), has to change but not Pat. Like, at the start of the series he had been working there a month, I think? I don’t hate him, at all, but I don’t understand his character, I was waiting for him to get better, to have development, and it didn’t happen.

I was starting to get bored, and then we started getting Jeng’s perspective and I fell in love, so now I’m enjoying the series and I have a character I can root for. I don’t fully understand him falling in love with Pat but I want his happy ending so I still want them to get together

3 will be free (ep7)

This is one of The Series you’re supposed to watch and everybody says is so good, and in this case I agree so far. I was not expecting such quality and to get hooked so easily, I started it two days ago and I’ll probably finish it today or tomorrow, and I’m supposed to be busy right now. I love that there’s a bisexual character and obviously the relationship between the three of them but I can’t say anything else until I know how it ends. I’m very scared it’s not going to be a happy ending and I could accept that even if I’m going to suffer, but please I don’t want any of them to regret what happened or treat it like an adventure and not a real romance. That being said, if something happens to Shin I will kill everybody in this room and then myself

Finished

Our Sky 2

I don’t feel like writing a separate review for each series but in general I’d say it was kinda underwhelming. I knew it wasn’t going to be a masterpiece but I did expect it to be a bit better, especially the Aof ones. I wish they just showed the pairs being cute in their normal lives instead of creating plots that made no sense. MSP and NLMG are the only ones I can honestly say I liked, the others had great moments but it wasn’t enough. In order of enjoyment:

My school president

Never let me go

A tale of a thousand stars

Bad Buddy

Star in my mind

The eclipse

(I haven’t watched the ABAAB and VV ones)

Past-senger

This was a wild and silly ride from start to finish (especially finish). I did enjoy it, like reading a crack fic, sometimes what I need is bad watches with no expectations. Until the end, that was way too much for me, what in the world were they thinking I’d never know. One thing I have to say is the chemistry between the main characters was quite decent

Plan to watch

Hidden agenda (july 9th)

I didn’t hate Star in my mind but it was a bit of a waste of JoongDunk’s chemistry, they had a good connection in it and it was what saved the series, but it’s nothing compared to how comfortable they are doing fanservice in real life. I need whoever is directing this to please get that and carry it to the series intact. The first trailer showed more of the plot and the second one was basically them being cute together and even if I liked it, I hope that plot points still somewhat exist in the series

Wedding Plan (july 19th)

Another Mame series, I didn’t hate Love in the air so I think this could be good. The part I was more excited about was the supposed gl pairing but they didn’t appear at all in the trailer so I’m a bit worried about that

#be my favorite #step by step #3 will be free #our skyy 2 #past-senger #lonliness society #thai bl #thai ql #thai series #thai drama #currently watching #gmmtv #step by step the series #be my favorite the series #hidden agenda #hidden agenda the series #wedding plan the series

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squirrelno2 · 1 year

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this is the year in review thing but I reject the gif so. Here we are with whatever this is

I posted 107 times in 2022

19 posts created (18%)

88 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blackandblue13

@blueskiesandstarrynights

@kote-wan

@keldabekush

@imaginariumgeographica

I tagged 104 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#star wars - 39 posts

#clone wars - 18 posts

#julie and the phantoms - 17 posts

#gifset - 10 posts

#somebodys very good fanart - 9 posts

#andor - 8 posts

#fanfic - 6 posts

#julie molina - 5 posts

#fanfic related - 4 posts

#art - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#no but actually he looks so downtrodden and small and the looks they're wearing in the first one like they're wary of us the audience. ouch

My Top Posts in 2022:

Me at myself in the mirror at 3:50 in the afternoon one day: the thing about the sequel trilogy of star wars is that Finn was in the perfect position to be a foil to Kylo Ren and a hopeful spin on the character of Anakin Skywalker and the fact that nobody even noticed these parallels is a testament to the power of racism and the fact that bigotry actually makes you a worse writer

No but. Anakin’s out here with his introduction in the prequels as a slave, and it’s poorly done but implied that the pain and fear of that part of his life impacts how he interacts with… basically everything ever, and ultimately makes him susceptible to palpatine’s grooming; your mileage may vary on the ratio of canon to fanon in this interpretation but I think we can all agree being a slave from birth is gonna fuck a kid up and there’s a reason why George lucas chose this particular backstory for him.

So you’ve got Kylo Ren, eschewing a family that cares for him (please don’t talk to me about whatever the fuck was going on in those last jedi flashbacks first of all that’s bad writing babe and second, we’re talking solely about the expectations and possibilities established in force awakens because there’s not enough narrative or character consistency in the sequel trilogy to take. Anything as a whole there) in order to chase after this version of his grandfather that isn’t even the version he died as. Like! Whether you think Anakin/Vader achieved redemption or simply did one good thing at the end of his life, we all know that act of sacrifice on Luke’s behalf is. The definition of Star Wars. Vader choosing to do good in his last moments was what the original trilogy built towards and what the prequel trilogy always knew, and it’s this fucked up spectre over everything Kylo Ren says or does in Force Awakens because he’s out here pleading with the ghost of a man who is not real, he’s chasing Vader instead of Anakin Skywalker and ignoring the choices his own grandpa made in the name of… honouring him somehow???

And then there’s Finn. Finn who’s been raised since who knows when but definitely childhood given he has no name to remember to be a weapon for the First Order. Somehow I doubt they pay their stormtroopers, somehow I expect their education is more indoctrination than anything, somehow I doubt Finn was ever instilled with a sense that he as a person mattered – Finn’s a slave when we meet him. Unequivocally. And this man who’s known nothing else his entire life turns around and says “actually I think I will do good things or at least stop doing bad ones” and runs the fuck away, freeing himself. (and also Poe. Something something the act of saving others in turn saves you, this is my eternal soapbox but that’s not my point right now)

Finn is afraid, and very nearly runs away from the fight like “I’m safe so it doesn’t matter what happens to others” – when satisfied that Rey is safe (and under the impression that Poe is dead) he feels no strong compulsion to protect an ambiguous “rest of the galaxy” which honestly is exactly the vibes Anakin Skywalker has for pretty much all his life. Anakin would be a hero because the people he cared about wanted him to be. He fought for Padme and Obi-Wan and frigging Palpatine (and Ahsoka, I say, skipping outside the movies for a hot second because I love her) first and foremost, and the Jedi and the Republic because those were the causes his loved ones cared about. Finn has the opportunity to get away, to protect himself for the first time in his life, and he doesn’t have to worry about the few people he cares about so he very nearly goes for it.

Then the thing is, Finn, unlike Anakin, doesn’t let that fear rule him? He turns around and goes back for Rey, follows Poe, stays with the Resistance. He gets to be terrified but he also says that terror isn’t his only motivating factor, and that his self-interest matters less to him than the galaxy – a choice Anakin struggled to make until literally the end of his life.

In conclusion, if the sequel trilogy had stuck to its guns and been about the tragedy of history as a cycle and the way we cling to idealised pasts and torture ourselves over might-have-beens (and also how that inaction and obsession with history allows the rise of fascism bc we spend so much time patting ourselves on the back for defeating ‘the bad guy’ we ignore what gave the bad guy power) – if it had been a well written story Finn should have been a hopeful twist to the story of Darth Vader, a man who faced the same struggles as Anakin but made better, kinder choices, which would bring it nicely full circle considering George Lucas was like. Very into star wars as being about Vader

But nope we had to have whatever that poorly written racist tug-of-war was instead. I don’t know about you but I need better fandoms

6 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

WAIT I stim by singing to myself and the boys canonically improvise with each other - they improvise to stim

That's it that's the post I'm just furthering my everybody-in-jatp-is-neurodivergent agenda

7 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

The way two different people I followed years and years ago for completely different things have posted in the last three days about missing julie and the phantoms... Fucking hell Netflix do you see what you've done. This show was for everyone and you've ruined it. Can you imagine if these people had posted about jatp before now. I might have actually verbally interacted with people I've quietly awkwardly admired for years.

8 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

Midway through Andor and I don't have very solid thoughts, at least not ones that haven't been said already by ppl much better at saying them, but something about seeing the ppl on Aldhani have this religious experience while all this shit goes on behind them. The way the whole chaos of the interspliced scenes quiets for a moment as the sky lights up - and then it's right back to the heist because they don't care because they can't afford to care and it's not their belief anyway

The empire sees the Eye as this thing to gawk at and Cassian and co are looking at the Eye as part asset part obstacle, just something to navigate through, and it would be easy to stay with their perspectives, but instead we get these moments of wonder and community, the culture that these people are trying to protect independently of all this galactic scale stuff - and then of course we also know that the empire is doing their level best to take that away too

I'm not phrasing any of this well but man that aspect of it really got to me and I'm not even sure why, fully

8 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I wrote a Big Bang fic!!! the amazing @willexmagic was my partner and made some lovely moodboards which I will be reblogging in a hot second, and I had a lot of fun (and maybe some tears) working on this monstrosity of a Superman AU

If you’ve ever wanted Flynn and Carrie to be Clark Kent and Lois Lane (or even if you haven’t and just want superhero content?) then here is the fic! Featuring my usual favourite things of friend angst, sad Flynn hours, and ensemble cast shenanigans, as well as me wandering wildly through some of my favourite coomic book tropes.

15 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #The way this is all from like. The past week and change

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mediaevalmusereads · 2 years

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The Siren of Sussex. By Mimi Matthews. 2022.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, the Belles of London #1

Summary: Evelyn Maltravers understands exactly how little she’s worth on the marriage mart. As an incurable bluestocking from a family tumbling swiftly toward ruin, she knows she’ll never make a match in a ballroom. Her only hope is to distinguish herself by making the biggest splash in the one sphere she excels: on horseback. In haute couture. But to truly capture London’s attention she’ll need a habit-maker who’s not afraid to take risks with his designs—and with his heart.

Half-Indian tailor Ahmad Malik has always had a talent for making women beautiful, inching his way toward recognition by designing riding habits for Rotten Row’s infamous Pretty Horsebreakers—but no one compares to Evelyn. Her unbridled spirit enchants him, awakening a depth of feeling he never thought possible.

But pushing boundaries comes at a cost and not everyone is pleased to welcome Evelyn and Ahmad into fashionable society. With obstacles spanning between them, the indomitable pair must decide which hurdles they can jump and what matters most: making their mark or following their hearts?

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: racism (including microagressions and slurs), threat of violence and sexual assault, sexual coercion, reference to suicide

Overview: This book kept appearing on lists of best historical romances of 2022, so as soon as it was available at my library, I picked up a copy. There's a lot to like in here: the interracial relationship was nice and the narrative doesn't shy away from hard discussions about race and culture. Each character also has a sympathetic plight and the obstacles to the hero and heroine's union feel real. My only major complaint is that there were moments when I felt like Matthews was taking on too much, and some narrative elements could have been scaled back to make certain themes pop more. But as it stands, this is a delightful book, and because it contains no graphic sex, it's a good choice for romance readers who are put off by intimate scenes.

Writing: Matthews's prose flows fairly well and strikes a good balance between telling and showing. I always felt like I was being invited to experience the story along with the characters, and I never felt lost or left behind. The pace feels appropriate, being neither too quick nor too slow, and I thought the organization made sense.

If I had any criticism of the prose, it would be that I think Matthews overused the term "gaslight" a bit too much. Because the writing doesn't feel overly atmospheric, references to gaslight felt a bit repetitive, though it wasn't so bad that I was completely yanked out of the story.

Plot: The non-romance plot of this book follows Evelyn Maltravers (our heroine) as she attempts to find a husband. Evie is in somewhat of a predicament - after her older sister runs off with a baron's son (without the baron's blessing), it falls to her to marry well in order to provide for her family. While the Maltravers family isn't impoverished yet, their finances can't last much longer, and their situation isn't helped by the fact that the upkeep of Evie's horse - a prized Spanish Andalusian - is quite expensive. To net herself a wealthy husband, Evie decides to show off her superior horsemanship, and to ensure she turns heads, she enlists the help of Ahmad, a half-Indian tailor who has a unique skill for making ladies' clothing.

What I liked about this plot was that Matthews was careful to show multiple, intersecting forces at play. Evie is subject to both classicism and sexism, while Ahmad is subject to classism and racism. Matthews did a good job of showing how all of these things cannot be disentangled from one another, and the stakes felt especially high given that both Evie and Ahmad had people who depended upon them.

If I had any complaint, I would say that I think Matthews tried to do a bit too much. Aside from the main narrative, there were a bunch of scenes with supporting characters that, while fun and charming, also seemed to take up some space. There was Evie and her friends, Ahmad and his sister, Evie and the spiritualists, Ahmad and Lady Heatherton, etc. With all of these scenes, it often felt like the main plot took a backseat, and I would have liked to see more pressure put on the economic situation of the two protagonists.

Characters: Evie, our heroine, is likable in that she’s smart and outspoken. She knows she’s not a great catch (due to her class and plain looks), but she is confident in her horsemanship and is quick to make a plan to use her strengths. I liked that Matthews presented Evie as a strategist, looking at all possible angles to get what she wanted out of a particular situation. It made her seem sharp without being too much of a wallflower, and it made Ahmad’s affection for her more believable.

Ahmad, our hero, is interesting in part because he has a unique profession and an eye for style. I appreciated that Matthews wrote him as interested in making ladies’ gowns, but didn’t present him as either effeminate or overly masculine. Instead, it felt like Ahmad was confident and talented, and I liked that he was interested in making gowns that brought out the wearer’s natural beauty. I also really liked that Ahmad vocalized a lot of the struggles he faced as a half-Indian man living in London. Ahmad frequently talks about how he doesn’t feel like he fits in anywhere; he’s “too Indian” for Londoners, but also “too white” for Indians. This struggle is not only sympathetic, but realistic, and I liked that Ahmed’s character flaws - convincing himself that he can’t find happiness - is somewhat wrapped up in this marginalized status. Whether or not Matthews handles this with grace 100% of the time is not for me to say, but in my limited view, I appreciated the effort.

Supporting characters were charming in their eagerness to please and befriend our protagonists. Evie’s friends - three “wallflowers” who each have their own unique quirks - felt genuine in their affection, and having trusted confidantes helped make Evie’s integration into London society feel more natural. Ahmad’s cousin, Mira, was also fun to read because she was constantly pushing Ahmad’s buttons to try to get him to loosen up. I liked their relationship dynamic, and I loved how Mira was always finding connections with people in lower classes.

Some side characters, however, felt like they were mainly included as set-up for future installments in this book series. While fine, these characters did make the book feel too “full” at times, but I understand why they’re there.

Romance: Evie and Ahmad’s romance is a “clean” romance, meaning there are no sex scenes in this book. Most of the intimacy is emotional, so if you’re squeamish or put-off by graphic sex, you might have success reading this.

That being said, I thought Matthews did a good job of building up Evie and Ahmad’s relationship. Because there’s no sex, Matthews relies on looks, gestures, touches, and the like to build tension, and it was kind of a relief not to read about erections every couple pages. I liked that Ahmad started out being stunned by Evie’s looks, but over time, it evolved into a much deeper connection. I also liked that Evie was eager to teach herself about India so that she could better understand Ahmad’s culture and past without expecting him to educate her. The effect is that the two have an electric connection that gets more and more tense the more Ahmad has to be around Evie.

I do think, however, that Ahmad’s insistence that they couldn’t be together got tiresome after a while. Ahmad is constantly pushing Evie away on the basis of race and economics; while understandable, I think some of his reasons would have felt more “real” if there was more in the plot to make finances feel dire or society feel impossible to resist. Once Evie sets her mind to finding a way to provide for the two of them, Ahmad’s resistance just feels self-serving, and while Mira calls him out on it, I think Matthews could have done a little more with that.

TL;DR: The Siren of Sussex is a fun, “clean” romance that focuses on class, race, and colonialism while also taking joy in things like fashion and human connection. While there are some parts of the narrative that I think Matthews could have improved, I ultimately enjoyed the reading experience and look forward to future installments in this series.

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