#it came all the way from ukraine and it was well worth the wait
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War and Peace (Natasha at Otradnoye) by A. Nikolaev, 1977
#i have this on a postcard!#i bought it on ebay when i was in college#it came all the way from ukraine and it was well worth the wait#war and peace#leo tolstoy#literature#art#*
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2022 Letter to the World
I wondered how long it would be before I started this year’s letter. It’s early May. Last year I think I managed to wait until fall, but this year has already been a whirlwind in both good ways and bad ways. At time of writing, this is shaping up to be one of the best years of my life, personally. I am well aware that for many people, this has been the worst year. I’ll discuss that briefly, but I also want to talk about my personal life and what I’ve learned from everything I’ve experienced.
This letter will be more positive than last year, which was probably the worst year of my life. I am happy with where I am in life right now, and while I feel like sharing my triumphs, when there’s so much bad stuff going on, feels selfish, I don’t care. Everyone deserves to brag about good things going on once in a while. This year I will discuss war, adulthood, happiness, and love.
Let’s get the worst thing to happen this year out of the way now, and why it affects me. World War III, even though it’s not officially called that, is underway. As a person who holds Russian and American citizenships, this whole ordeal has conflicted me. I remember the weeks leading up to the first invasion by Russia. I thought to myself, “please, Mother Russia. Don’t do this. It’s not worth it. There’s no point. Just chill.” I knew, deep down, that they would invade anyways. The Russians don’t joke around.
Let me give some background about myself that the public internet may not know. I was born in Kovrov, Russia in February 2001 and was adopted by my parents nearly six months later. Because I was born in Russia, I am a Russian citizen. I carry an expired passport that requires me to drive three hours to renew. Because both my (adopted) parents are American, I was granted automatic naturalization upon entry to the United States. Even though I carry both passports, Russia does not recognize my dual citizenship, and if I were to travel there, it would have to be on my Russian passport. Regardless, I am a Russian-American, and I am proud to say that I have two passports.
When the war broke out in late February, it broke my heart. My heart broke for both Ukraine and the Russians having to deal with this against their will. I won’t go into the politics, nor will I say which country I believe should win the war. I have had people tell me to root for Ukraine, and I have also had people tell me that I should support Russia. I’m tired of being told what to believe by both the internet and people in real life. This war could have been avoided. I personally don’t see the point in fighting over… what? To be honest, I have no idea why they’re fighting.
This war has made me feel ashamed to be Russian. I used to share that I am a Russian-American on my public social media bios. Since the war started, I removed that, and I avoid sharing my true heritage on the internet. I love the Russian culture and their traditions. I don’t love their leaders. I feel a connection with my brothers and sisters not only in Russia, but all over Eastern and Central Europe, and I stand with all of them.
I turned 21 this year, and I have also taken big steps into adulthood. Turning 21 is a big deal, and while I don’t drink, knowing that I can, and that I no longer have any restrictions is a weird feeling. I’m not a child anymore. While my mother may have trouble accepting the fact that I’m an adult, I haven’t. I still have a long way to go before I am a full-fledged adult. When I graduate from college in a year, get a full time job, and move out, that’s when I’ll really be one.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about this, but I entered into my first real, committed relationship in February. With that came new thoughts about my future.
Mere hours before I met him, I was talking with the friend who introduced us. We talked about relationships and all that, and I mentioned that I was probably never going to get married. My friend wasn’t necessarily looking to set us up together. It just so happened we ran into my future man later that day. It took a while for me to realize I had feelings for him, and we started dating a few months after we met.
We’ve been together since Valentine’s Day. During that time, he has loved me for who I am. I never thought anybody I liked would find me beautiful, accept my autism, or understand me at all. I am probably the most confident I’ve ever been in my life. My new relationship has given me things in life to look forward to, and that has provided me with happiness.
I read the same news you do. I have my own struggles, like everyone else. It seems like nearly everybody I know is depressed in some form or fashion. However, I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. My job and the people in my life are to thank.
Last year I started my first band teching job. I’m still doing that, but at a different school (one that isn’t 45 miles away). I’m blessed not only because I can do a job I enjoy, but it’s also a job related to the field I am going into. I could go on about how well I have been treated by my colleagues and the opportunities they’ve given me, but I’ll save you from that.
Through the difficulties that come with teaching band and being a music major, the people I get to do those things with are my very best friends. This year (and some of last year), I felt accepted by my friends for the first time in my life. They include me in their plans. They don’t leave me behind. They don’t lie or start drama with other people. We just enjoy our time together outside of school. It feels like that is our reward for the hardships we endure during the day.
Even though society sucks for everyone, we all find reasons to push through… and even be happy. Much of what you see on the news will never affect you. Sure, you can sympathize, but at the end of the day, there is probably nothing you can do. Don’t let those kinds of things ruin your happiness.
The love I have for the people in my life is stronger than the hate the world tries to push on me.
I talked about love in 2019, and how there is a difference between conditional and unconditional love. That point remains true, but I’ve discovered that it is way more complicated than that. Apparently there are, like, nine kinds of love.
Philautia is a love with people that builds you up in a good way, which is new for me. I have several people I see every day at school who fill this hole for me. They’re my family away from home.
Storge can be with friends or family, and it’s a kind of unconditional love that can be reflected on. That’s something I’ve had my entire life. There are times when we don’t get along, but at the end of the day, I’d take a bullet for them.
Agape means self-love, putting yourself first once in a while. I feel that for the first time in years.
Philia… I think I am experiencing that for the first time towards someone. It’s a friendship love in which you can converse in deep conversation. This can also be felt towards family members.
Pragma, Eros, and Ludus are the significant other categories. I think everyone experiences ludus at some point, which is that playful, flirty kind of love - a crush, if you will. Eros is the romantic part of being with a significant other. Pragma is the teamwork part, which my current relationship is growing into. The latter two were firsts for me this year.
I feel less like a child this year, but I’m okay with that. This year has taught me a lot of good, and I’m ready to grow up. When I was a teenager, I longed to be a kid again. I still sometimes take pleasure in my childhood comforts, like playing my favorite GameCube games or watching SpongeBob. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. But my life doesn’t revolve around wanting to do those things anymore. I enjoy teaching, friends, and looking forward to a future. It sounds boring, but with the way the world is, I kind of want that.
#2022#2023#newyear#reflections#annual#happynewyear#lettertotheworld#beautiful#fandom#okay#love#happiness#war#adulthood#ukraine#russia
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SBF Arrested and Other Distractions
When the media wants you to focus on something you can rest assured they will give you other distractions to keep you from seeing what’s going on “Behind the Curtain.”
And we usually like to wait a day or so to weigh in with our two cents worth.
Cue up: Sam Bankrun-Fraud’s arrest in the Bahamas
Ironically (or NOT) his arrest came literally 24 hours before he was due to testify in Congress.
So, it seems his arrest may be a way to stop him from saying something that may harm his defense or incriminate others during the hearings… keeping him from incriminating any more politicians.
Based on the charges, he could be looking at life in prison IF convicted.
Adding gasoline to a conspiracy fire, he will be held at MCC, the same dungeon in which Jeffrey Epstein supposedly committed suicide.
And with his connections with all the Democrats, it will be interesting to see if he too suddenly commits suicide.
Ooops! Better Call Saul
This also raises a host of other possibilities, including:
SBF will blame Caroline Ellison and she’ll blame him.
Plan on a clown show
Bet he gets a court date before any of the J6 folks still rotting in prison.
This concludes Operation Keep Ukraine Money Laundering Concealed…
He had a lot of help…Money laundering? CIA backing? He didn’t do this alone.
Plea deal, 1 year probation, records sealed. Now Back to Trumps taxes.
If he gets a DC jury, he might walk. All he has to do is find a way to blame Trump
Or they want to put this guy away faster than Paul Pelosi's "attacker"
Summing things up:
It's a big club and he's no longer in it
Other Distractions...The One They Don't Want You to Notice
And while you’re “looking here and not there…” this also took place.
Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Chairman Gary Gensler – scrubbed evidence of a meeting with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton from his calendar, along with key details of a meeting with Billionaire leftist-operative George Soros.
Gensler also concealed September 21 meetings with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and former Bill Clinton White House official-turned-DC consultant, Minyon Moore.
Gensler is, after all, the CEO of the Securities and Exchange Commission.
So, does anyone wonder why the Gensler news disappeared today as well?
Meanwhile, on the kinky/perversion front, the luggage thief was caught AGAIN.
Biden Fires Kinky They/Them Luggage-Stealing Nuke Official, Sam Brinton
The Department of Energy has also tried to distance Biden from the issue saying:
"Sam Brinton is no longer a DOE employee. By law, the Department of Energy cannot comment further on personnel matters."
Gee, who could have seen this coming?
As a result, some interesting possibilities exist here:
What a wonderful gift O’Biden just handed he-she because he-she can now sue for wrongful dismissal as he-she has not been convicted
He-she will walk away with probably millions
And you're looking at the next head of the U.S. Department of Education
Or maybe he’ll get a job at Samsonite
Or a million-dollar role in a TV sit com starring with Brittney Griner.
This proves that hiring people with a lot of mental health issues was not a good idea...
And this also proves that distractions like these keep you from seeing the truth.
So, if you’re interested in learning the truth, the read the December issue of “…In Plain English” (HERE).
Share this with a friend…especially if they want the truth.
They’ll thank YOU later.
“And You Shall Know the Truth and the Truth Shall Make You Free”
~John 8:32~
We’re Not Just About Finance.
But we use finance to give you hope.
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Invest with confidence.
Sincerely,
James Vincent
The Reverend of Finance
Copyright © 2022 It's Not Just About Finance, LLC, All rights reserved.
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Chapter 9: Correction Surgeries
Sergei's Plight
By Charmed Wolf
Here we go, the 9th set of 11 days for Sergei before he goes home to recouperate with his family from his burns, his emotional scars still need time to heal before he would be back into swing of things. Yushka is still hoping that Sergei would be back to being respected like he was once before; time will only tell if that's going to happen for him, this is also the start of the correction surgeries for Sergei so he could walk more normally instead of having the scars hampering the way he walks. Yushka is going to continue to try to build Sergei's reputation as a nice man back up, there would be people in his way to tell him a complete lie about his Russian brother. Keep in mind that this is a fictional story with fictional characters, it's to illustrate real problems that can go on in the real world, also keep in mind that Sergei is Russian and Yushka is Ukrainian; they hold a friendship that had bloomed into a brotherhood that no war could ever sever, and the incident that happened to Sergei made Yushka stand by his Russian brother more than ever. That is even right through every painful bandage change, now it's not as painful as when he first got to the hospital on the evening of March 9th.
~June 5, 2022~ First of many surgeries.
“We'll start in getting correction surgeries planned and line up for the first one already, so he could be walking a little better,” we all understood what Dr. Stein was saying so Sergei could be moving easier before he could return home, I'm looking forward to day that Danieli could give my Russian brother some time to decompress and to relax; majority of people that actually hate him haven't given him moments rest and been giving him stress. That isn't good for Sergei to be stressed out like that and causing him to cry in real emotional pain, he doesn't need to be treated like trash like that either; that was what was causing stress for Sergei. “I think you should try to change that for him, get his reputation back to what it was,” it was all of his friends suggesting I do just that, well; I'll do just that for Sergei, or at least try to do for my Russian brother. I hope first surgery is successful in starting to loosen up those scars so he could walk once cast is off his leg, whoever did that was still such bonehead doing that to Sergei making it that much more difficult on him. “Alright, I'll do that for Sergei because he's worth everything, he's someone we all hold dear to,” I knew Sergei could be legendary bear when it came to defending his friends and family; that's how he earned his nickname of Legendary Bear, it was all because he can be very aggressive at times. There had been major spat between this kid and Sergei not long after Germans invaded Russia; this kid and he was having it out wanted my Russian brother to join Red Army and this honorable Siberian Cossack wasn't about to do that, he told the kid that he wasn't to be there to save his ass like he did before, needless to say, that kid didn't survive war, getting killed at Stalingrad and Sergei not shedding tears.
“Why do you have such a fancy story like that to tell of that monster?” It makes me mad to here that from that man that was around, I will have to take him aside to talk to him in little bit so I could finish my story about Sergei; I know he's not some monster that has to be taken down. His friends were waiting until Sergei was out of his first correction surgery while I went to tell my story to anyone who would listen, I was told that first of his surgeries had been successful and doctor was going let my Russian brother heal before next surgery is be done.
“Because everything of that story is true and only one that is monster is you, not Sergei, I know him where you don't, I see him as my Russian brother and knowing that he has nothing to do with invasion of Ukraine or the autroucities being commited by Russian troops,” I knew Sergei to be of honor and to know better not to follow what those Russian troops, lately; I have been helping my Russian brother to get his reputation back to what it was long before invasion of Ukraine even began. I looked this man where his jaw just drops to ground in surprise, I do know Sergei to be respectful and very charming as far as Russian Cossack would go. “You take your freedom for granted, Sergei came from Russia long before you were born,” That was what I was trying to tell people, there were few willing to listen not only with their ears; they listened with their whole being. This was coming from those who had once disapproved of my Russian brother, they were finally seeing truth about Sergei.
~June 6, 2022~ Restoring the reputation.
“I heard that Sergei's reputation is finally being restored,” I nod as I was sitting in cafeteria of hospital enjoying some tea, I couldn't stop helping my Russian to have his reputation of being most respectful and most honorable in this city; he deserves as much love as I do because he hadn't have anything to do with invasions.
Sergei was sleeping after his first surgery had been done, in few days; Dr. Stein was going to start on another surgery to help free Sergei up to where he could walk better. “I'll say his skin is looking better than when it did,” I had to agree there, between correction surgeries and his burn treatments; his skin no longer had that charred look and it was getting better. He was starting to look like well defined Russian Cossack, Slavlana was still going to work with him to help him to walk once his cast is off. “These nurses are sweethearts, I like how they take care of Sergei,” Miguel had said as he saw one of nurses come into Sergei's room with familiar bakery box, someone must have known that my Russian brother loves pirozhki pastries; all of nurses treated Sergei well and all he showed for it was gratetude because he didn't expect compassion. It's like that one worship song sang at most churches, everyone needs compassion; it's true because that's what Sergei needed and he also needed time to decompress and heal, both physically and emotionally from what happened to him. “Мы пошли в булочную и купили тебе пирожки,” one of nurses helped Sergei to sit up so he could eat his favorite pastry, I think it would be fun to visit that bakery and pick up some Russian and Ukrainian pastries to eat while we would be out for day to have fun; oh and I just made myself hungry talking about Ukrainian and Russian food, oh well.
I suppose I'll have to stop soon and get lunch with Sergei's friends before we go back up to visit with my Russian brother, I'm going to be even happier to see Sergei home from hospital and his trip to Georgia. “I heard that someone had been vandalizing Russian owned businesses,” I had heard of same thing, it was all connected to Russian Orthodox church burning down and Sergei being burned; I though of that one sign that I had once seen in store, I thought of my Russian brother when I saw that. Sign read what doesn't kill you makes you stronger except bears, bears can kill you; I would like to get that for Sergei because he is definitely bear and he owns grizzlies.
~June 7, 2022~ Beware of grizzly bears...seriously.
“Nikita, are you going to start up summer programs?” I wanted to confirm what I was thinking, I was thinking that my Russian family was going to take summer off because of Sergei is in hospital because of being burned horrifically; Nikita was taking care of Sergei's bears. He hadn't answered yet, those bears were waiting for my Russian brother to get home as Nikita fed them. “We just started yesterday with Luka taking over until Sergei is better and home,” Well, I was wrong about that then; it was okay when I noticed Luka with some summer school students, first thing that those kids forgot is that you don't piss of Russian Cossacks. They already tried that with Viktor, he almost had to draw his shashka on one of those students. “Viktor, have they insulted Luka yet?” I had to ask that because I had a feeling that it would happen or one of them provokes Sergei's bears, only think Viktor did was shake his head; I'm hoping one of those kids would insult Luka or provoke those bears. I suppose you can say that is most badass Russian thing to do is have bears, makes me love my Russian family all more than I have when I had first met them when they were fleeing Soviet Russia to freedom.
“Юшка, Луку просто оскорбили и он в бешенстве.” oh so it finally happened, some kid decided to be idiot and insult Luka after his teacher said not to; that is good idea to follow rules and listen to teachers. Some kids just don't care and won't listen to their teachers at all, and people wonder where the kids had learned that behavior from, look at their parents. Then you have kids indirectly insulting Sergei for what happened to him, when he got burned that severely; it wasn't really his fault and he didn't deserve it one bit.
“ЭТОГО ДОСТАТОЧНО!! Well, that kid pushed one too many buttons on Luka regarding Sergei, and wait until he finds out what Luka had done to this kid; it was that kid that have paid attention to what happened to Sergei and why he's most vulnerable spot right now. Those kids that laughed weren't that much better, they ended up getting punished by their teacher for what this kid had done to indirectly insult Sergei. “Лука, что он сделал?” Luka looked to see it was Nikita, he wasn't just Luka's cousin; he was Ataman for entire 2 ½ squadrons of cavalry. I knew what was going on and what was pissing Luka off, it was not good thing to piss off any Russian Cossacks. “Этот парень, Никита, косвенно оскорбил Сергея,” Nikita was furious about it, it wasn't with Luka he was furious; it was that kid he was furious with because of that insult that was said. You really don't want to mess with Nikita when he's furious, my Russian really don't like when they get insulted, I don't blame them.
~June 8, 2022~ Sergei's second correction surgery.
“Dr. Stein had taken Sergei for his second surgery, it's just where he could move better,” I had informed his friends about what was happening, legiments in both of Sergei's knees had been damaged from flames when he was burned; same orthopedic doctor had fixed Sergei's leg was working on my Russian brother's other knee.
First surgery was complete success to replace what was damaged, I was hoping that this surgery is successful because I don't want Sergei to have any problems with walking while we would be out and enjoying ourselves. “Well, he's out of surgery and that went well, it was also a complete successful,” Dr. Stein said after he came from operating room, it would be after one hour that we would be able to go see Sergei; I know his knees would hurt after having them operated on to replace what was damaged. It wasn't just his side and back that had been damaged, Sergei's joints at his knees were damaged from those flames also. “That's great to hear, Sergei will little to no difficulty in moving now,” doctors also did some skin graphing to further free up my Russian brother, I know I'll be happier when walking with Sergei when he's home; I called Danieli to tell him that both surgeries on Sergei's knees were successful and he will be able to walk without any trouble. I know Sergei still doesn't want any trouble, I really don't blame him for not wanting any trouble. “I take it Danieli took the good news well,” I knew Miguel was itching to go up to see Sergei, it hadn't been at hour mark yet before he was moved back into his room to rest; once my Russian brother is back in his room is when we could go see him.
“Hey, what happened yesterday with their program they run?” De'shaun had a little brother that was going through those programs to be taught discipline, I had to tell De'shaun since he's only one that is having to step up to raise his brothers and sisters; so being brother and parent is very hard on him. It all started with one insult and then Luka yelling that it was enough in Russian, I take De'shaun aside to tell him. “One of those students at summer school thought it was good idea to indirectly insult Sergei and it pissed Luka off,” student that insulted Sergei indirectly wasn't De'shaun's brother, so that was good there; that insult really pissed Luka off that it made Nikita come over to see what was going on. And he was told by one pissed off Luka, it really made Nikita that much furious with that kid that you don't want to be messing about with Russian Cossacks.
~June 9, 2022~ 27 days since the incident.
“Прошло 27 дней с тех пор, как я получил ожог, и я уже прошел через многое, через операции по пересадке кожи, и теперь мне пришлось заменить оба колена из-за нанесенного ущерба,” Sergei was awake after his second correction surgery, he was grateful that he is alive; he also has support of his friends and family to help him get better. It was painful when Slavlana would work with my Russian brother to start getting used to his new knees, once cast comes off; Sergei will be able to be worked with more to move better. “Доброе утро, Сергей, я вижу, у тебя хорошо заживают колени, это хорошо,” Slavlana smiles as she went to go see how Sergei was doing, he was in a good mood knowing that he will be home soon after staying with Danieli in Georgia for some time; I knew Slavlana was going wait at least week before working with my Russian brother to start getting up and walking and, she knew that Sergei's leg was still healing nicely from being broken. “Доброе утро, Славлана, немного поболели, в остальном все нормально,” Sergei had smiled back being in such good mood, he knows that he's going to have to go through; it wasn't too hot outside for program to continue going on. I'm sure Luka or Nikita wouldn't want to tell what one of those kids had done and ruin Sergei's good mood, when it comes to problem kids; he's most patient with them so what they do falls back on themselves.
“Этого следовало ожидать, я надеюсь, что боль хорошо справляется,” Sergei had told her that it was, so his knees didn't hurt as much and that was good; he was uncomfortable with having to have pillow under his legs to keep his knees elevated, well, with that and him not used to laying on his back. When Slavlana left his room after helping Sergei to move to sit for little bit to read until lunch, Dr. Fox came to see how Sergei's knees where healing; he had a very good bed side manner as he checked the knees.
“Эй, Сергей, держу пари, ты взволнован тем, что скоро поедешь домой,” Luka had come to see how his older cousin was doing, I knew Sergei was wanting to stand to give his cousin a big bear hug; he'll have to wait until his cast is off for that. I heard laughing from Sergei and Luka when they were talking about what happened other day, my Russian brother knows how furious Nikita can get when it comes to problem kids pushing Luka's buttons one too many times and with that insult that was said about Sergei. “Что случилось с ребенком?” Sergei had to ask about that, Luka knew about Dimitri's habit of duct taping Viktor to Sergei's door just to piss Sergei off; Nikita had to ask for Dimitri's help with this kid. Viktor was glad that it wasn't him getting duct taped for change, instead; he helped Dimitri with duct taping. “Дмитрий и Виктор закончили тем, что приклеили этого ребенка скотчем к столу, что вполне уместно, учитывая, что Никита был очень нетерпелив,” that set Sergei off laughing thinking that was very fitting for this kid for acting like jackass, now I know that this kid's mother is Karen and she had tried to get Dimitri and Viktor to get him untaped. They refused to do so and she went over to Nikita, she demanded that her kid was untaped and Nikita refused to her face.
~June 10, 2022~ Sergei's burns itch, good sign of healing.
“He's not letting anything get to him, except for the burns starting to itch more,” I understood what Dr. Stein had said, Col Remer was starting to get things lined up for Sergei once released out of hospital; it wasn't going to be long before my Russian brother would be moved from burn floor to rehab floor once they think that his leg is healed enough to start with rehab. I'm hoping it would be so he could be up and walking, I'm still planning to walk with him and going through museum and have good time. “It sounds like Sergei is having more good days than he is of bad days, that's very good to hear,” I looked over as Dr. Fox took off the cast off and x-rayed the leg, it looked like it was healed over enough for Sergei to start rehab and to be moved to that floor; I went to go called Nikita to tell him about what was going on regarding Sergei. He was overjoyed with the news that his brother was going to be moved to rehab floor to start with physical therapy to get worked with to where he can walk without any problems, I was happy about fact that Sergei was able to be off any pain medicince. “I think your new room is bigger than one you were in when you first got here,” and that room Sergei was moved to was bigger, Col. Remer was protecting my Russian family by setting up relay to get clothes to Sergei for bed and for his physical therapy. “Да я знаю, Юшка, хоть хорошо,” he was able to get onto his bed very carefully, I know that Slavlana was told that Sergei never wears shoes and it was always boots; she understood fact that my Russian Cossack brother is from Siberia. Talk about cold winters there and annual snowball fights, just don't get pelted with snowballs from his sister-in-law, Sarina; sometimes she will hide rocks in her snowballs.
“Я рад, что ты, наконец, скоро вернешься домой,” I knew he was excited about about finally being able to go home, first; Danieli wanted Sergei to be able to decompress after what had happened to him. I think that's good idea on Danieli's part, also it was in part that there was contract hit out on Sergei's life. “Юшка, ты знаешь, как только я вернусь из больницы, мы с тобой должны будем посетить музей,” I chuckle about that realizing he was right, tomorrow was when Slavlana would start working with Sergei on getting him up to walking; before he'd know it, he'd be back to running. So far, I'm happy to have my Russian brother; I know he chose to forgive instead of holding onto bitterness, so many people want him to hold onto bitterness instead of letting it go like way he was raised in Russian Orthodox church as boy growing up.
“Не с нетерпением жду физиотерапии, да ладно, это еще один шаг к исцелению,” it was time for me to go home to let Sergei to rest, it was good to see him moved to bigger room on rehab floor; I think in coming days we'll more of my Russian brother's sense of humor. I think that is what helped him most to heal was knowing his friends and family hadn't abandoned him and fact he still knows how to be funny.
~June 11, 2022~ First day of physical therapy.
“Okay, we'll get you up and dressed before we start with breakfast and therapy,” Sergei starts to move slowly, he was still tired from being moved from burn floor to rehab floor to begin his physical therapy; I know he wasn't looking forward to that physical therapy. It was to point were he was still healing from his burns, Slavlana was being firm but gentle with Sergei when working with him. “Больно вставать и просто двигаться,” I think Slavlana understood that and stopped to let Sergei rest; it will get easier as time passes, this was just his first day of physical therapy. It won't be long until my Russian brother would be up and walking, his physical therapy was going to be long process just so he can walk without trouble. “Только в первый день терапии со временем боль начнет уменьшаться, вы сможете ходить без боли или дискомфорта,” I knew that Slavlana would be good to Sergei as she would be working with him; every time it would start to hurt after being worked with, she'd stop and let him rest until he's ready to start again with therapy. I would say by next week, pain with Sergei's knees would be less by more he moves and works with Slavlana. “Сергей, я так рада, что у тебя начинают получаться физиотерапевтические процедуры,” once he was back to his room to rest, he was pleased that he had done well with his first day of physical therapy; he let out yawn being tired and he laid back to rest for little bit. I know Sergei will continue to work until he could walk without any problems, Slavlana left Sergei's room after he had fallen asleep after his first session of physical therapy for that day.
“How was his first day of physical therapy?” Dr. Stein wanted to know as he saw that my Russian brother was laying on bed asleep, it had been very full day for Sergei since being moved to rehab floor; Nikita wanted to come and spend some time with his brother for evening break. I know Col. Remer thought it was dangerous do that considering that there were still some people out that didn't want my Russian family here at all, it's people like that don't know what it's like to have to flee from only country they ever know and in middle of war and winter.
“He did fine, he stopped several times because it was starting to hurt,” it was good news to here as my Russian brother was sleeping, all of his therapy were in morning after breakfast; to further protect his knees, I know Slavlana had gotten some specific knee braces for him to wear until his knees heal. Dr. Stein was pleased with news and finished up with release papers to get Sergei to be released some time in July, that would be time for Col. Remer to get hotel room and pick Sergei up. “That's good to hear, I'm glad, I'm going to have him released on the 9th of July so he could be home with his family,” I was going to tell Danieli that plans for him to take Sergei to Georgia were on, my Russian brother was going to be released on July 9th; that meant he will have extra time to decompress and heal from what all had happened to him since March.
~June 12, 2022~ Second day of physical therapy.
“Now this is going to be a little different as far as physical therapy, seeing how this is Sunday,” Slavlana was using her day off to work with Sergei, there were still people that still call him inhuman monster; although that number is not a great as it was. Slavlana could see that my Russian brother isn't inhuman monster or trash or anything else, she had to confront man as she was walking into hospital to work with Sergei. “Typically this would be your day off,” Sergei was wondering why she was coming in on her day off, she had chess set and set it up knowing my Russian brother would play chess as someone who knows strategy; I have always known that he'd be very smart when it comes to chess and to using strategy. This man doesn't know what Sergei is really like as person, that man that was badgering Slavlana hadn't known what Sergei's full story was. “I thought you and I could spend some time together,” I knew they got to know each other after she had immigrated from Ukraine and Sergei had helped her and her son with finding place to live and for her to find work to go to school, that was pretty generous of Sergei to do that for Slavlana; it only proves that he's isn't some inhuman monster. It only also proves that he doesn't deal with Karens and male equivilant there, it was all that remained of those that still call Sergei inhuman monster and trash and other sorted names they could think of without realizing what it's doing.
“Since being here and being treated for burns, I have missed playing chess with Alexei,” Slavlana knew that was Sergei's brother-in-law, or at least one of his brothers-in-law; hehe, Так, Sergei and his brothers all have 7 brothers-in-law. It goes without question that he was ready to return home, oh; even I would like to have him home so he would have place to recouperate from his burns and from what those three teenagers did to him. “I don't expect those Karens will try again to redicule you again,” Slavlana knew that Sergei knew what she had meant by that; that's one more reason why he doesn't deal with such people, as I had said before, I really can't blame him. Well, to come to think of it; neither could Slavlana, she didn't like dealing with one mother when her son had to go through physical therapy after being injured seriously in car accident at fault of that kid's mother.
“Speaking such entitled idiots, I make it point not deal with people like that,” Slavlana liked how Sergei had thought of that, in fact; it was actually Nikita that came with that. I know he doesn't like to deal with entitled brats either, like one that tried to make off with his kubanka and wear it. “The kid I had to work with once was sorry for his mother, who kept yelling at me saying that I was hurting her child when I wasn't,” Sergei knew that there was kids that would be embarrassed of their parents behaving worse than toddler, there was one time that my Russian brother had to ask one Karen of how old she was and then ask her not to act like toddler; so it was understandable for Sergei with summer programs for both entitled kids and those from disadvantaged homes.
~June 13, 2022~ Third day of physical therapy for Sergei.
“What's next for physical therapy? I enjoyed yesterday,” honest question and Sergei really did enjoy time off from physical therapy, Slavlana was working with my Russian brother over on parallel bars to get him used to his new knees; he was feeling some pain and it wasn't so much that they had to stop. I knew what Slavlana was doing when she put knee braces on Sergei to further protect his knees, these were kind that were allowed to bend with knees and she made sure that they were comfortable. “Okay, we're ready to start up with trying to get you used to the new knees,” I think Sergei understood what Slavlana said as she carefully helped him up, this was good start on road to return; I'm hoping better than before he was burned and treated like trash. Everyone knows that is wrong and should never be allowed, well; it still happens in parts of this world and it's starting here right now. “Getting up was easy part, hard part is getting moving,” Slavlana giggled at that and started to help Sergei to start into working on walking, what was amazing on therapy floor as there was double amputee cheering for my Russian brother; not caring one bit that Sergei is Russian. It was good to see that my Russian brother is back to wearing his kubanka, well; I'm happy to say that Legendary bear is going to back if he keeps this progress.
“It seems you have someone cheering you on,” Sergei didn't see who it was that was, it was friend of Peter's that was cheering for him; another physical therapist was pleased with how my Russian brother was making great progress trying to walk. It was hard for Sergei to move, but he kept trying to walk with Slavlana gently coaxing him to keep trying. “Is it starting to hurt?” Slavlana knew Sergei was starting to tire from pain and it was almost time to stop, he told her that it only hurt just little bit and not whole lot; she let my Russian brother give it one last try before stopping for day. It was known that Sergei's gait had changed since being burned that March, after that last try; Sergei was allowed to go back to his room to rest and those braces were his.
“I'll let you rest for today and we'll try again in a couple days,” Slavlana had said after getting Sergei back into his room, I think it was for tomorrow that they were going to try hydrotherapy to try to loosen up his knees at least little bit; I know that would help Sergei out great deal. I asked Slavlana if swimming would be good for Sergei, she said it would be good; especially during the summer season when it gets hot.
~June 14, 2022~ Welcomed Hydrotherapy.
“We're going try a little bit of hydrotherapy to see if we can loosen up the knees,” Sergei was helped to get ready, Slavlana was in decent swimmwear to start working with my Russian brother in pool start with therapy there; Muslim woman saw Sergei's burn scars and thought they were self-inflected. I know what really happened to Sergei, I witnessed three teenagers pour petrol over him and then lighting him on fire; she hadn't seen what I had and fact she doesn't know what Sergei has been through already, now he's going through physical therapy to get used to having both knees replaced because of damage done. “I suppose you can say it's self-inflected just so he could get sympathy,” just glare she got from my Russian brother, I know what he's going to say; I also know fact he'd be right. There is so much about Sergei that he doesn't really want to talk about and keep to himself, I know there is some things that he will talk about; especially of how he and his family had to flee from Russia.
“Замолчи! Ты меня не знаешь, ты не знаешь, что я пережил с самого начала дурацкого вторжения в дом моего украинского брата, ты ничего не знаешь, кроме херни и того, что ты мусорный мешок,” there was applause from Slavlana and myself, I knew it was matter of time before Sergei would snap; and to him, it felt like weight off his shoulders that had been on him since beginning of invasion of Ukraine. As I had known it, Sergei was right when he just snapped; Slavlana knew that when my Russian brother snapped, she knew that was Sergei she met as new immigrant from Ukraine. “But--” that same glare came back as he looked at this woman, Slavlana wanted to get therapy started; I know Sergei didn't want mess around with that walking trash bag. I know what was coming next from when he snapped, that Muslim woman had really provoked wrong bear. “Никаких но, за исключением того, что ты убираешься отсюда до того, как тебя выгонит охрана,” that Muslim woman ran away in tears after what my Russian brother had done, he had enough of what she said and stopped it; Slavlana managed to get Sergei into pool to start hydrotherapy for day. I was glad that Sergei showed his bear side and that reason why you don't want to mess with him, Так; I need to get him that sign that I had once seen in store. “Sergei, I bet you feel better after that,” just to hear that chuckle out of him, I know it did make him feel so much better to snap like that; Slavlana was doing great with Sergei to get him to work against water's resistance. I could see that he was doing good job trying to work against water, after few times; it was time for Sergei to stop and to dry off and to relax for little bit after therapy.
“It did, I got tired of it after fact she doesn't know what I had been through,” Kyoki told me what she thought of their religion, so I had to ask her once; and her response made me laugh. And Sergei had picked up on it and called it for what it really is, this is coming from someone who is expert at riding horses.
~June 15, 2022~ Time for a good rest.
“I think it's a good time we let you rest so you don't overdo on the physical therapy, Sergei,” Slavlana knew that Sergei was trying his best to walk, it had been it has been hard on my Russian brother; that Muslim woman didn't help matters yesterday when he was trying to work with Slavlana on his physical therapy. What she said finally made him snap with being frustrated with her and with himself, he really didn't need all what she was saying of those burn scars; and both Slavlana and I knew it. “Does it have to do with what happened yesterday morning?” It was honest question as he looked at Slavlana, I think part of it had to deal with what that Muslim woman did to cause Sergei to snap; I also think she brought it on herself for trying to get Sergei kicked out. He's patient at this hospital and not her, I had bad feeling that she may had made complaint against Sergei.
“Apart of it is because of that, it also has to deal that you still have some more surgeries to go,” the next surgeries were more cosmetic and not actually to work on any joints, I knew that Sergei had understood that when plastic surgeon came to see what he could do when he was taken to one of those exam rooms; Dr. Wolff took a looked at Sergei's burn scars and noticed that 3rd degree burns had minimal scarring from skin graphs it was other scars he was going to work on so my Russian brother can be comfortable taking his shirt off. It was today that Dr. Wolff started to work on restoring skin to Sergei's chest and enhanced around chest also; once finished with Sergei's surgery, my Russian brother was allowed to rest in his room to give time for medicines to wear off. “It went well, we didn't have any problems, I would think in a couple of days he can resume his physical therapy with Slavlana,” once awake, Sergei's stomach was upset again; Slavlana got some ginger ale for Sergei to help with upset stomach. I have to praise Dr. Wolff's decision on to helping Sergei; that heiress that we met few weeks back was going to pay for that also, it was nice to hear that there are some people that are decent. “Теперь я не чувствую себя подсознательно, ког��а снимаю рубашки,” Slavlana had set out Sergei's book for him if he wanted to read for little bit; my Russian brother picked up his book and laid on his side and started to read when another Muslim walked in, it turned out that this was that Muslim woman's husband. I figured as much that Sergei was not wanting any trouble, it turned out that I was right when these Marines came and had to physically picked the man and carried him off leaving Sergei laughing because it reminded him of two of his brothers-in-law.
“Теперь я не ожидал, что это произойдет,” those Marines return to salute Sergei, he didn't have to wonder why they were saluting him; he knew why they were saluting him. Peter had told them that my Russian brother is Legendary Bear and fact that he had been going through very rough patch, earning respect from United States Marine Corps wasn't that easy of thing to accomplish and Sergei had managed to do just that.
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Sergei is one more step to going home, this is the end of his 9th 11th days in the hospital; what surprised him the most was the fact he ended up earning the respect of the Marines. A respected Russian Cossack going through a very rough patch after he was seriously burned after being lit on fire ends up gainning respect in the unlikely of places, it was a big surprise for him to have these young Marines saluting him. He's still has a lot to go with physical therapy, and those Marines will be back to cheer Sergei and Yushka still telling the story. As I have said repeatedly, this is a fictional story and the characters are still fictional; there still a good lesson here to be learned. I'll have more to come for Sergei and Yushka, and Sergei isn't the one that's going to be killed and neither will Yushka; there is going to be a twist in the story.
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Hi!! May I request a dadneto fic of them calling each other dad and son for the first time? 🥰
Of course my love I’m a total sucker for dadneto. ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you enjoy
Dad.
Summary: Peter didn’t need a dad and he was sure Erik didn’t want a loser like him for a son. His father had already had the perfect family and had them snatched from him. Peter like he usually is was wrong.
Warnings: Peter has low self worth and anxiety. There’s a bit of angst but nothing heart wrenching. I don’t even think I cursed this time but I might have.
Pairing: there isn’t one just some good old fashioned father, son bonding. Maybe Cherik if you squint and turn your head to the left.
Words: 1408
Masterlist
Rules
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Peter had been avoiding Erik like the plague since the older mutant had moved into the school to help with construction. Peter may be twenty seven but telling someone they missed out on twenty seven years of their child’s life wasn’t an easy thing to do. Peter knew if he couldn’t tell the man at the end of the world then it probably wasn’t going to happen.
His issue was he had already opened his fat mouth to Raven who kept trying to trap them in a room alone together. She had even gotten Charles in on it. Sure Erik had a right to know he had another child but it shouldn’t be Peter's responsibility to inform the man he had a child much less adult twins. His mother had really dropped the ball on that one.
Peter was content to just continue living his life as if everything was the same as always. He didn’t need a dad, he was a grown ass man at this point. He was afraid the information would only make Erik even more depressed. He had seen a picture of Nina in his snooping and he had determined that the tiny girl was everything he wasn’t.
She was beautiful with a tiny freckled nose and big blue eyes. She couldn’t be a loser like her big brother who up until a couple of months ago had still been living in his mother’s basement. Why would Erik want someone like him in his life much less as a son.
“Peter you’re spiraling” The professor's voice echoed through his head and Peter groaned frustrated. He pounded on his ear like he had water caught inside.
“Peter you should tell him I can be there with you if you’d like” The professor's meddling voice came again causing Peter to lose that round of Ms. Pac-Man.
“You see Professor, I would do that but I know he doesn’t want a loser basement dweller for a kid.” Peter shot back turning up his music even louder letting the voice of his generation sweep over him. David Bowie was a king and nobody could tell him otherwise.
“Peter, you aren’t a loser, you took on Apocalypse by yourself and lived to tell about it, rather loudly I might add. You also are starting a teaching position here in the fall. You are such a good kind hearted person don’t degrade yourself that way.” Charles scolded. This was an ongoing argument between the two men and it never seemed to change his mind.
“I mean, is a P.E. Teacher even a real teacher Professor?” Peter asked.
“Physical Education is a very important role in children’s lives”Charles retorted to the unconvinced twenty-something. Peter could feel the frustration bubbling up inside him. He jerked in surprise when his watch that was laying on the side table forgotten began to vibrate. He snatched it clasping it around his wrist taking deep even breaths just trying to calm down.
So he inherited more than just the x-gene from his father. He had a secondary mutation, that was just great. He would have to be even more cautious than he already was. He knew Raven would try to trigger this in front of Erik if she found out. Which she would with her brother being a freaking mind reader.
***
“I need all staff members to my office for a staff meeting” Charles' voice echoed loudly in his head. He zipped to the office finding that Charles and Erik were already there. He should have taken his time and the tension could be cut with a knife.
“Peter, how are you? I haven’t seen you around much” Erik greeted the silver haired mutant politely.
“Oh you know I’ve just been around” Peter waved him off and he could feel the professor’s eyes burning into him like Scott’s lasers.
“Peter did you know that Erik will be staying on a our new foreign language professor?” Charles asked and Peter could once again feel the frustration start to bubble up.
“Really? I thought the government gave you an island or something?” Peter asked pointedly, ignoring the professor’s smug grin.
“Well I decided that I should stay, one thing apocalypse was right about was mutants needing to stick together” Erik explained and Peter was suddenly regretting taking this job.
“Isn’t it delightful Erik is fluent in so many languages German, Russian, French, Spanish, and even Polish. Peter isn’t your mother originally from the Ukraine?” Peter wanted to glare at the older man but couldn’t...not without giving himself away at least.
“No she’s originally from Poland she moved to the Ukraine after being liberated with my ciotka” Peter bit out unknowingly feeding Erik valuable information.
“You are Jewish?” Peter wanted to run, he supposed he had Jewish blood he had known his father was Jewish.
“Romani” Peter answered shortly, trying to hint that he didn’t want to talk about it. He also wasn’t technically lying to be Jewish your mother technically had to be Jewish.
“And your last name is Maximoff?” Peter could feel the anxiety build up in his throat cursing his seventeen year old self for dropping the fact that his mother quote “knew someone who could control metal”.
Erik began staring hard at the boy taking in his features. He began to see a resemblance to Magda, his ex wife. He tried to explain it away he was probably Marya’s child, but how likely was it that Marya would give birth to a child with a mutation. He knew that Django and her husband didn’t have any mutation that he knew about.
Erik’s calculating gaze only served to push Peter that much closer to an anxiety attack. He could feel his already swift heart rate pick up even faster with his emotions. He could feel the cool metal of the watch hum and he fought the anxiety. The last thing Peter needed was to give Erik another clue. Controlling metal would be like a neon sign yelling I’m your son.
“Your mother was her name Marya or Magda?” Erik asked, still studying the nervous man. With his mother’s name all the metal in the professor’s office began to hum and vibrate. Peter began internally cussing as Erik’s eyes went wide. He started to bolt out the door but was held in place by his watch and the zipper on his jacket.
“Peter” was all Erik could say and suddenly Peter began to wonder if the professor hadn’t called the staff meeting and only let him and Erik know. That was something he should have expected from Raven not the professor. It seemed being a meddling meddler ran in their family.
“Uh yeah?” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck trying to get the metal in the room to stop vibrating.
“Your mother, her name was Magda” Erik remarked, it was a statement not a question. He couldn’t help but wish the Wanda was here with him. She had always been the smarter twin.
“Ummm yeah” he confessed. Erik’s face looked like a cross between anguish and pure joy. Anguish that he had missed so much of his child’s life and joy that he had been reunited with said child. This was Anya’s baby brother and Nina’s elder brother. Erik knew that he would protect Peter with all of his might from now on. Erik would not waste another moment.
“My son” Erik’s voice was thick with emotion as he started down his adult child. Peter went to look at Charles for help but cursed when he saw that the wheelchair bound man had excused himself without Peter or Erik noticing.
Erik staggered forward wrapping his arms around the man and Peter melted. Peter may not have needed a father but that wasn’t to say he didn’t want one. He had always craved male companionship, he had always looked forward to visiting his aunt and uncle as a child. This was different though this man was his father, something his uncle Django tried to be for him but never really could. Erik’s hug was warm and safe and strong and he suddenly felt like he was fifteen years old again.
“Dad,” he muttered, finally squeezing the older man back fighting back tears. He had thought Erik would be angry, that he would think that Peter was trying to replace Nina. Erik wasn’t angry though, Erik was relieved he had his family. His family might not be whole but at least he had part of it.
“You have my mother’s eyes” Erik informed him, as he pulled back to further examine Peter’s face. Peter had always thought that his eyes were a dull brown, he had always wished they were bright like his mother and sister’s were. He supposed this was better, if he had his grandmother's eyes that meant that a part of her lived on.
Peter knew that he needed to inform Erik of Wanda, but that could wait a few more moments. For now all Peter wanted to do was soak in his father’s acceptance and love at least for a moment
Thank you please feel free to request.
#evan peters#dadneto#peter maximoff#quicksilver#ralph bohner#wanda and pietro#xmen#fanfiction#xmen apocalypse#x men fanfiction#dadneto fanfic#erik lehnsherr#erik Lehnsherr fanfiction#peter maximoff fanfiction#metallokinetic!peter maximoff#request
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Fake dating AU for the idiot Heartrender Husbands! I beg of you!
As ever, I am preposterously easy to enable, and since they will eventually make an appearance in A Phantom in Enchanting Light, I decided to write their backstory for that verse. Also, “fake dating but it’s only fake because they’re both idiots” is an Aesthetic. I love them.
Moscow, 2010
The guy is most definitely late. Fedyor got here early – probably too early, since they’re supposed to meet at eleven and he arrived by quarter past ten – but it’s now 11:08 and still no sign of him. Fedyor has claimed a corner table in the coffee shop just off Red Square with its splendid old tsarist-era décor, surrounded by the murmur of conversation and clicking laptop keys as his fellow Muscovites get on with their daily lives. The rule is fifteen minutes, yes? If Ivan Sakharov doesn’t show up in another seven, Fedyor is free to bail. But it’s been so long, and Nadia, the mutual friend responsible for this set-up, has begged Fedyor to give him a chance. And since it is understandably difficult to date as a gay man in Russia, Fedyor’s patience must be tested longer than usual. He sips his flat white and glances at the door again. Still no Ivan.
Fedyor opens his phone and checks the photo that Nadia sent him, trying to decide if this man is attractive enough to compensate for his tardiness. It’s hard to tell. It is 11:14, and he is absolutely about to pack up and leave by no later than 11:25, when a tall, grim-faced man in a red windbreaker strides in. He stops short, glances around, spots Fedyor, and powers over with such single-minded determination that Fedyor fears he’s about to be arrested. “Hello,” he says curtly. “I am Ivan Ivanovich Sakharov. I believe you are waiting for me?”
“Ah – ? I am Fedyor Mikhailovich Kaminsky, yes,” he manages, offering a hand, which Ivan crushes in a Terminator grip. “It’s – nice to meet you?”
Ivan snorts, pulls out the other chair, and drapes his jacket over it, then orders a small plain coffee (black like his soul, evidently). Then he returns, sits down, and claps his hands as if he is calling a misbehaving class to attention. “Where are you from?” he barks. “How long have you lived in Moscow?!”
Fedyor continues to gape. He’s genuinely not sure if this is Ivan attempting to get to know him on speed-run, or if he’s being interrogated by a FSB agent who can’t even act for two seconds like he’s not. It’s ominously possible. Dmitry Medvedev is the president and there are hopes that there might be a social liberalization, but the Orthodox patriarchs and the far right have been increasingly agitating against Russia’s embattled LGBTQ community, and things could just as easily get worse. Is this a setup or a setup? Nadia would never knowingly put him in a dangerous situation, of course, but maybe she was likewise fooled. You’d think that if this was a sting, they could have found a guy who was actually capable of pretending to be on a date, but maybe that’s the point? What the hell is going on here?
Fedyor opens his mouth, then shuts it. As a matter of fact, he is originally from Nizhny Novgorod, but moved to Moscow for university and has lived here for seven years, but if Ivan is with the FSB, he probably already knows that. Is this a trick? Is Ivan trying to match him to some police intelligence file or see if he’s a liar? Fedyor is seriously about to get up and walk out (or maybe sprint out) when Ivan, perhaps realizing that he’s blowing this to a heretofore unprecedented degree, says, “Sorry. I am from Krasnoyarsk. I enjoy rugby.”
Of course he likes rugby if he’s from Krasnoyarsk. This is a disaster. “Uh, what side?”
“Krasny Yar,” says Ivan, in the tone of a man about to stand up and belt out the fight song. “I also enjoy football. Yenisey Krasnoyarsk. Though I have begun supporting Lokomotiv since I came to Moscow. That was five years ago.”
So, he’s definitely a hooligan. Fedyor does his best to keep smiling. In the flesh, Ivan is definitely not unattractive. His hair is crisp and brown, there are glints of hazel in his eyes, and he has that hard, chiseled handsomeness that Fedyor always ends up getting suckered into. Except for the fact that he is lively, extroverted, and outgoing, likes clubbing and mingling and making friends, and this man does not appear to have ever heard of a single one of those things. What was Nadia thinking? It’s not like her to whiff this badly. Or did she have to be so circumspect in asking Ivan if he would like to meet Fedyor that, even if he’s not an undercover cop, he is in fact clueless about the true nature of this social engagement? Thinks it’s guys being pals?
“Did you have somewhere you were coming from earlier?” Fedyor asks, after another excruciating silence. “Is that why you were – ?”
“My apologies. The bus was late. I am normally very punctual.” Ivan scowls ferociously, as if the bus ever dares to do such a thing again, he will personally murder it. “What hobbies do you enjoy, Fedyor Mikhailovich?”
“I think you can call me Fedyor, yes?” They are clearly nowhere near “Fedya” and “Vanya” just yet, but “Fedyor Mikhailovich” always makes Fedyor look around warily for his grumpiest professor at MSU. He tries to think of subtle conversational gambits to find out what Ivan knows, without being obvious. Oh God, he really should just cut his losses, but something – perhaps the pathetic conviction that even a terrible date is better than no date at all – keeps him in his seat. Presuming that he does get out of here alive, he will call up Nadia straightaway and ask her many, many questions, mostly consisting of Why??! “Well,” Fedyor says at last. “I like having fun?”
“I also enjoy fun,” Ivan says, stone-faced. “I am very funny.”
Russian humor is normally extremely deadpan, to the point that Fedyor does wonder if Ivan is in fact a diabolical troll genius, but somehow he doesn’t think so. The rest of the conversation proceeds in this fashion, but by the end of an hour, Fedyor still has no idea if he has just been on a date or a trip to the gulag. Ivan gets up, administers another bone-crushing handshake, thanks him for his time, and marches out. Fedyor can practically hear the Red Army Choir thundering some patriotic anthem in his wake.
When he gets home that afternoon, Fedyor is resolved to write off the whole thing, except it was weirdly kind of not as bad as he first thought, maybe, somehow. If nothing else, he’s fascinated by this, like watching a slow-motion train crash. He takes out his phone with the intention of calling Nadia, only to see a text message from an unfamiliar number. When he opens it, it reads, Hello. Your company was agreeable today. Thank you. Perhaps we could meet again next week. Please reply yes or no. The message uses the formal styles of address, and some of the spellings are slightly old-fashioned. He has also signed it – Иван Сахаров – in case there might be some confusion with another Ivan the Terrible at Dating of Fedyor’s recent acquaintance. It is a bit like getting a text from the undertaker.
Fedyor stares at it, insanely tempted to burst out laughing, and finally, just because now he’s too curious to refuse, texts back his gracious acceptance. Still chuckling, he makes dinner, and then, as his phone pings with Ivan’s response, wonders in horror what on earth he is getting himself into.
This is how things continue for the next six weeks. Ivan and Fedyor meet up for the second time, stroll sedately around one of Moscow’s many city parks together, then part ways, and this time it’s Fedyor’s turn to ask if he would like to do it again. He isn’t sure exactly why, except that Ivan is unexpectedly easy to spend time with, and he nods in stoic approval of whatever Fedyor says. Of course, they follow the usual rules of dating which are especially important in Russia: don’t talk about politics, don’t talk about religion, don’t talk about America, don’t talk about Ukraine, don’t talk about Chechnya. From what Fedyor can glean, Ivan’s views tend to the doctrinaire, but he is surprisingly undogmatic, and willing to at least act as if he has an open mind. If he was an FSB agent, it feels like he would have busted Fedyor by now, but maybe he is waiting for him to do something unmistakably gay. That’s not it. Right?
Nadia calls, wanting to know how it’s going, and Fedyor grills her for forty minutes over whether Ivan is a law enforcement plant, a lonely guy looking for a friend, the world’s most method practical joker, or just extremely stupid. Nadia insists that he is actually very nice once you get to know him (HA, thinks Fedyor) and has no particular affection for either the ruling classes or the oligarchs. He can certainly be an acquired taste, but he is not evil.
Forced to accept it, still chickening out of asking Ivan whether he knows they’re dating, wondering if they are dating, if Ivan knows that Fedyor knows they’re dating, if Fedyor only thinks he knows that they are dating while they are not actually dating, or if Ivan thinks he knows that they’re dating while they’re… whatever the fresh-fried fuck is truly happening here, Fedyor trudges off for what has become his almost-weekly rendezvous with Ivan the-Maybe-Not-Quite-So-Terrible. They manage to have a few conversations verging on meaningful, and Fedyor has found himself telling Ivan about his family and Nizhny Novgorod and other such things. Fedyor likes to talk and Ivan likes to listen, though he breaks in now and again with a bone-dry quip. He’s still never what you would call loquacious, or easily forthcoming, but Fedyor likes that. Ivan is tough, complex, enigmatic, guarded, occasionally willing to let down his walls but only if the other person is worth it, and Fedyor finds, to his surprise, that he wants to be worth it. If this is a long-con mind game, he almost doesn’t care. (Almost.)
The problem, however, is that they’ve been seeing each other regularly for a month and a half and they haven’t gotten any closer than walking through a park, outdoors, in full view of their fellow comrades. Even the first time Fedyor takes the plunge and invites Ivan to his apartment, they sit three feet apart on the couch, watching a badly-Russian-subtitled version of Die Hard and providing critical commentary. Fedyor’s English is a lot more fluent than Ivan’s, and his middle-class family, while not exactly wealthy, is definitely better off than Ivan’s hardscrabble clan of miners and loggers in Siberia. That upbringing certainly does explain, to some degree, why Ivan is the way he is, and Fedyor wonders anxiously if Ivan views him as an insufferably posh city boy. Ivan barely finished high school and went straight to working in a Krasnoyarsk aluminum factory. He definitely did not faff around Moscow State University and attend global development seminars in Paris.
Nonetheless, despite their obvious differences, they do get along, and Fedyor is unable to deny the fact that he would, if it’s all right with everyone, like it to be more than that. Of course, finding out if Ivan knows, etc. etc., has been the paramount challenge, and there is no way to find out other than to go for it. Fedyor is 75% sure that they’ve been going steady for two months, but if it’s actually the other 25%, this is going to get awkward in a hurry. Is this essentially a fake relationship, or is it only fake because they’re both idiots?
After having duly commended his soul to God, Fedyor invites Ivan over on Saturday night. He rents a tiny flat by himself since he’s been burned on rooming with strangers, but Ivan is used to it by now, and it doesn’t feel too small with the two of them. Fedyor strains his limited culinary skills to cook supper, probably making his babushka cluck her tongue and sigh in a judgmental fashion back in Nizhny Novgorod, and they sit down and eat in silence for five minutes. Then Fedyor says, “Vanya?”
The consistent use of the diminutive has started sometime in the last few weeks, neither of them remember quite when. Ivan doesn’t correct him. “Yes?”
Fedyor clears his throat. “Do you…” He winces. “Do you… like me?”
“Yes?” Ivan says again, looking confused. “I would not have spent so much time with you if I did not, don’t you think? We are friends.”
“Yes, I know that we’re friends, but…” Fedyor looks at the ceiling. It doesn’t help, so he looks back at Ivan. “Are we… special friends?”
Ivan continues to look blank. “Are we?”
Fedyor resists the urge to tug at his collar, thinking that it’s a damn good thing that he didn’t go with his other idea of just leaning across the table and passionately kissing him. With absolutely no change of tone or expression, Ivan says, “Please explain. Special friends how?”
“Friends who want to…” Fedyor takes a deep breath. “Be… more than friends?”
“How?” Ivan orders again, ruthlessly. “Be clear, Fedya.”
“Are we maybe… boyfriends?” Fedyor’s voice squeaks on the word. “As in… we have feelings for each other that aren’t just… friendly? Like… feelings which are… romantic?”
Ivan continues to stare at him like a statue for several more seconds, and Fedyor contemplates the feasibility of tunneling directly through the floor of his apartment and running all the way to Latvia. Then at last, Ivan throws his head back and – startling Fedyor deeply – breaks into real, genuine, belly laughter, the kind that he has never heard from Ivan before. “Oh my,” he chortles, slapping the table. “Your face. You were sweating bullets.”
“WAIT, WHAT!?!” Fedyor pushes his chair back and stands up with a clatter, incandescently outraged. “Are you – were you messing with me?!!”
“Maybe a little,” Ivan says, wiping his eyes. “You know, all this time, I have not been sure if you are shy or a terrible prude. Why haven’t you kissed me yet?”
“God’s Mother in Heaven – ” Fedyor feels another prick of disloyalty to his babushka for swearing on the Bogomater, but some people deserve it. All inhibitions forgotten, he charges at Ivan like a runaway train, as Ivan springs out of his own chair in readiness, and starts pounding on his chest in transports of fury. “You are the worst! You are the worst person ever! For two months, what have we been doing?! I have been afraid this whole time that maybe you don’t know what’s really going on, and now – ?! You are the worst!”
Ivan catches Fedyor’s flailing arms, holds them away from him, and picks him up bodily, swinging him around and pushing him against the wall. “Maybe I am just a dumb country boy from Siberia,” he remarks, “but even I am not that stupid, Fedyor Mikhailovich.”
“I hate you,” Fedyor pants, their faces and their mouths an inch away from each other. “Get out of my apartment.”
“Mmm?” Ivan cocks an eyebrow. Then he plants both hands on either side of Fedyor’s head, leans in, and deeply, savagely captures Fedyor’s mouth with his own.
Every remaining vestige of barely rational thought in Fedyor’s head evaporates in screaming shock. He still wants to shove Ivan away, knee him in the balls, or break a chair over his head, but if he did that, he would have to stop kissing him, and he can’t do that either. He moans, Ivan’s tongue takes the opportunity to slip into his mouth, their hands clutch and claw and their legs melt out from under them, they turn away or break contact only to gulp a breath before diving back in again, and the next time Fedyor is aware of anything, they have collapsed on his kitchen floor in a wrung-out, entangled, gasping heap. Ivan says in his ear, “Do you still want me to leave, Fedya?”
“No,” Fedyor manages. “Because now, I am really going to make you suffer.”
Ivan’s smile is dark and full of promise. He pulls back, gets to his feet, and holds out a hand. “Then I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”
(Ivan doesn’t leave Fedyor’s apartment that night. He doesn’t leave it the next night either. At the end of the week, Fedyor calls up Nadia and informs her that he hates her so much, and when they do next see each other, he’ll shake her by both shoulders and then thank her for introducing him to the no-good, truly awful, very bad love of his life.)
#ivan x fedyor#heartrender husbands#henchmen deserve happiness too okay#a phantom in enchanting light#mearcatsreturns#ask#fivan ff
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The Eurovision Song Contest we had to have
The journey from Tel Aviv to Rotterdam was an unexpectedly long one. Who knew that when Duncan Lawrence raised the trophy in May 2019 that another Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final would not take place for another 736 days? Having to wait such a long time between two Eurovision (excluding 2 x Junior contests) was excruciating, soul destroying and plainly depressing. And just like that, Eurovision 2021 has come and has now gone.
As the title says, it is The Eurovision Song Contest we had to have. It is a bold statement and I considered it for a day before putting it there. In reflection the song contest in Rotterdam was a wonderful event for many reasons which I’d like to discuss a bit. So this may take a while, but bear with me and hopefully, I’ll make it worth your while.
THE HOSTS
Four hosts was two too many, but let’s talk about them. Chantal is beautiful and the most professional of the foursome. Jan was the token male and while his performance was contained to a very small potion, it was nevertheless, fine. Edsilia was much more chilled than I expected and provided a warm presence amongst these people. Nikkie was probably the most down to earth of them all, possibly the most personable, but also somehow cold.
In actually effect, while there were four of them, they worked. No one took a lite load but they each had an equal presence in the show. As many other people have mentioned, everyone would have preferred more Edsilia and Nikkie to Jan and Chantal, but I’m not terribly fussed. They were all well practiced and very on point for the event and as a viewer I was pleased by this.
THE STAGE
Like most Eurovision stages, they do not look like anything unless you turn on the lights. That was definitely the case for this one. The lights were on, the stage sparkled, and the stage was alive in every way that it was asked. The screens provided everything that were needed for each of the songs and other performances. The transparent screen in the middle of the venue added so much to some of the performances and was the masterstroke that made some of them visually exciting.
There was one thing about the stage that felt like they were reminiscing stages of the Dutch past. I felt a hint of the Amsterdam 1970 stage on the sides. I don’t think it was a co-incidence, but I liked the fact that the paid homage like that. Everything else was state of the art.
POSTCARDS
The postcard films were well put together to present a place in the Netherlands, a tiny house structure with items that belong or relate to the act coming up and then a green screen appearance of the act in the tiny house.
While the postcard as a whole were well put together and cleverly created, I felt I missed out on seeing more of the Netherlands because they were focused more on what was coming and less with the airport, the canal, the lighthouse, the field, the tulips and whatever else was presented. So it’s only a small thing in a small film, but I wanted more of a Netherlands tourism experience in the films.
THE INTERVAL ACTS
It’s a funny thing about this year’s interval acts, and to be completely honest, I happy about it. If you asked a fan about Eurovision 2014, people will say that they remember ‘Love love peace peace’ and Justin Timberlake. In 1994, people remember ‘Riverdance’. In Tel Aviv, there was Madonna. I like that the intervals this year did not overshadow the entrants to the song contest. They were a time filler, a light refreshment and then it was over. For the most part well performed, entertaining and gone before you know it
I recall there was something about water in the first semi final, there was a dancer and a bike in the second, the former winners sang on Rotterdam buildings and some unifying song and dance. Nikkie did some little films about losing, and behaviour in the green room during voting. All were quality performances that were well constructed, organised and presented. They held the viewers attention while we waited for the votes to commence/announcement of the qualifiers and because they were each engaging, they seemed to go quickly.
THE OUTCOME
In most cases, things went as expected in the semi finals. Fans were disappointed with Croatia not qualifying, but I don’t think the betting had them qualifying. Romania was expected to qualify, but Roxen could not sing the song and move at the same time. Ireland suffered the same fate with an impressive staging. Semi final 2 went as expected as well; maybe Austria was expected to get through in place of Albania; i disagree.
The results/placings in the final were a bit of a surprise to me, but there was one certainty for me and that was that Italy deserved their win. There is a very simple reason for it’s success too. It’s not that it was a loud song or that the song was outlandish, or the way they were dressed. The reason that Italy won was that the performance of the song was a natural performance. I’m sure there was choreography of movement, but they were not outside of what they usually do. There was no gimmick, no dance routine, no green screen to worry about, no spinning diamond or large gimmick hanging from the roof of the stadium. It is also why the French entry was such a success and for a lesser part Iceland and Ukraine. Finland and Portugal also presented an entry that was in essence what was expected for that type of song.
Switzerland was a vast success in my eyes. They rolled the dice and they came up on top with the juries. Switzerland have rolled out a prop in the past to highlight a song, but this year they added lighting and camera work to add to the tension of the entry and it worked. Gjon looked a bit clumsy at times, but it was excellent captivating three minutes.
There were some countries that were dependent on a large prop. Some were there to attract votes as they went with the song while others to distract from it. Russia and Cyprus had several well placed props that worked well and were relevant to the song. Greece had a large invisible prop that made what was a good song appear like a joke entry. Malta had a prop that didn’t make sense to the entry being performed. Bulgaria’s rock was both inspirational and strange to me. Moldova’s revolving diamond worked for her also, but it was just a surface to perform choreography on.
I want to spend a moment of praise on Serbia and Belgium that had very different performances, but appropriately performed. Serbia took their sexy manic, hair choreographed selves all over the stage gyrating and moving like they had drunk 15 cups of coffee. Belgium, on the other hand, was very intense and sedate in their presentation mainly because most of them were playing instruments that were unmovable.
Of the countries that retained their choreography from a national final, other than Iceland, was Lithuania. They had varied it only very little from the national final and in their case, the performance was crazy perfection to match the theme of the song. I was disappointed with Norway, Azerbaijan and Sweden for retaining almost identical choreography to their songs from the film clip/national final, but I wasn’t a big fan of either song in the final. They seemed tired in appearance and in formatting. Azerbaijan needs a further slap for submitting their 2020 song with a new name.
I feel some disappointment for a few of the entrants. I’m going to start with the United Kingdom. Poor James Newman. He had a thumping good song that fans liked. There was enthusiasm from the fans that the UK would do better this year and they did worse. What I find astounding is he does not appear to be a shy person, yet he allowed someone in the United Kingdom delegation to produce that choreography, that outfit and those props for that song. To my ear, James sounded sad and dejected in the final and I was unbelievably disappointed that they didn’t score something from somewhere.
I’m disappointed for San Marino too. Senhit has showed she is a class act and has spent the last year enthusiastically covering Eurovision songs. But at the song contest, she appeared to be a forgotten entrant. Even with the addition of Flo Rida did not give the song some cred. I have a recurring image of Senhit’s shoulders slump and physically shrink on hearing that her efforts accounted for 50 points.
I’m also disappointed for the Netherlands. They most likely did not want to host again and it is a sad curse that countries that host usually end near the bottom of the scoreboard (excluding Super Sweden). But to score so terribly for what was a gloriously performed entry was unconscionable. I praise the Netherlands for choosing such a wonderful cultural performance for the stage.
At the bottom end, Spain and Germany had very different entries, performed with contrasting enthusiasm and it got them both a very low level of support. Spain had the most tired song that was boring as all hell and the presentation of the entry gave the audience nothing in return but a large grey beach ball in the sky. Back to the drawing board? Germany was destined to fail in March. The charisma and fun of their film was completely missing from the staging and it was never going to go well.
Albania had the misfortune of being ignored, given a terribly bad draw for the second year straight and not given anywhere near the appropriate amount of votes required. Anxhela gave a good stylish and appropriate performance. She was on-point vocally and in her performance on stage.
Israel, on the other hand, was a spectacle. The song was kind of meh, performed with a lot of choreography to distract from it. She did a whistle note; so? I’m sure she had to get noticed somehow with her t-shirt dress, her nude illusion reveal and the headdress she stole from reigning RuPaul Drag race winner, Symone. (Did she not no know where she was coming and who would be watching? Picked that up immediately)
IN CONCLUSION
There is one other things that I have not mentioned so far and it only occurred to me after re-reading some of the above comments. The Dutch were very time conscious. They said they were keeping the final under four hours and they pulled it in and got it done. In my opinion, it was a Eurovision that was very breezy, and very light experience because while the experience of Eurovision was 8 hours of your week watching the shows, this year did not seem like an ordeal. I felt that the shows progressed quickly without fuss or propaganda. As a package it came together well across the board.
It was a good Eurovision year and had something to cater for the taste of everyone. Some songs were not suited to everyone, but that happens. Below is how I saw this years song’s after the three shows and believe me I have changed it a few times before settling on this list. Looking at it, I want to move them around again.
So that’s it. Next year it will be somewhere in Italy; maybe Turin, maybe Rome, Milan or Bologna. It won’t matter. Feel free to comment, complain, debate. I’m happy to back myself and for you to convince me otherwise. I haven’t got anything else to do. : )
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Eurovision 2021 final thoughts
Well.....it’s over.
It feels great, but also kinda weird to be done with it. I mean, it took an extra year to get here! But I’d say it was worth the wait....
Holy CRAP this year was good. Oh my god, this was SO much fun to watch! The presentation, voting, and especially the songs were unbelievably strong! It made me so happy that my bad luck in the semifinals didn’t even let me down all that much, so that’s a good sign. XD
I haven’t shared this before, cuz I didn’t wanna be a downer, but.....there was a part of me that was worried. Even after listening to and loving the majority of the entries, I was still worried that, when the show started, there’d be some kind of big tell that....this wasn’t a “normal” Eurovision. Something that would bring my enjoyment of the show down to a level where....I-I’d only be able to say “at least it took place, but it wasn’t as strong as usual”. That small, pessimistic part of me that was so hurt by last year that it’d become cynical, and scared of getting hopes up.....but I hid it. I love this contest so much that....bringing down the mood for my fellow fans wouldn’t be cool at all.
And thankfully.....I came out of this with a big smile on my face like normal. I enjoyed this year just as much as previous years! In terms of the songs alone, I’d seriously call this one of my favorite years, probably just behind 2016 (my favorite year). The fact that I don’t just agree with the winner, but I LOVE the winner, was definitely the icing on the cake! But the presentation was also outstanding! It really feels like everything was put into this contest to make it as enjoyable as possible with the limitations they were given. The interval acts were great, especially getting to see so many of the winners again! The rooftop concerts in the final were a lot of fun. But, as good as everything in the final was.....When the first semifinal started, and I saw that there was a crowd, coupled with the song that Duncan sang, I legit thought I was gonna cry. That’s definitely gonna stick with me in the future when I think of the most memorable moments of watching Eurovision. I could seriously go on and on about how much I enjoyed watching this....so I will!
Oh god the voting. OH GOD THE VOTING. Tense as always, and I loved it! No clear favorite, the juries making decisions the televoters didn’t agree with, a plethora of different countries getting twelves, and an ending that proved my predictions wrong in the best way possible. It was the BEST way to end the contest, and a very good example of why I’m really loving having the jury vote and televote separated....cuz you never know what’ll happen until the very! Last! Moment!
Seriously, that moment of Finland’s televoting result making them in the lead for a brief period was AWESOME. And then it was Ukraine, and then it was Italy, and I was thinking “oh god slow down, my poor heart-” And yeah, there were SO many great songs and great performances that it really did feel like a close race!
Even rewatching it was exhilarating! Rewatching it also made me appreciate things that I didn’t before (due to being, well....too caught up in the moment). Like, the wide range of music genres in the top five! I hope this inspires more diversity in future years! I mean, you got Italy bringing us rock (which, by the way, never dies), you got France bringing us a classic waltz, you got Switzerland bringing us a powerful modern ballad, you got Iceland bringing us disco, and you got Ukraine bringing us.....well, a friend of mine called it “folktronica”, and yeah, I don’t think there’s a word that describes them better. XD
Not only that, but there’s one more interesting thing about this top five! Can you guess what it is?
......
......Yeah, only one of them’s in English! Imagine that, entries that DON’T have to be in English to become big hits! Seriously, I’m American and even I know that having understandable lyrics is really more of a nice bonus in Eurovision. What’s most important is having a song that sounds good. And if a song sounds best in another language, you don’t have to translate it for the contest! (Especially if it results in obvious ESL that loses the song’s original meaning, but that thankfully hasn’t happened often) Don’t be afraid to send songs in your native language! I hope people learn from this...
(But then again, this has happened before.....In 2007, the winning song wasn’t in English, runner-up was in multiple languages and third place was also not in English, so....I’m probably putting too much emphasis on this, s-sorry >.<)
But enough about the top five, let’s look at the full results:
I’ll say it again.....this is my favorite winner since “Heroes”. I love the Italian entry, and I’m very happy that they proved me wrong. I didn’t think they could do it. Not only is it a rock song, which isn’t to everyone’s tastes....but it’s from Italy, who seemed to be cursed to never win even while sending fan-favorites year after year. Two second places (oneofwhichwasunserved*cough*2011*cough*butIdigress), one third place that also won the televote that year, and one very, very robbed sixth place. I thought this was gonna be another one of those cases where Italy get screwed somehow by other, more popular songs. But I still absolutely loved the song and rooted for it anyway, and......lo and behold, here we are. A rock song won Eurovision. A rock song in Italian. And it’s awesome, and I couldn’t be happier! To be specific, they were my fourth favorite in the final, but they were my favorite of the possible winners, so it still feels like the best case scenario! Woo!
Having the runner-up also from the Big Five is kinda surreal, since save for Italy they’re usually all underrated due to not having to pass through a semifinal (with exceptions like Germany 2018 and Spain 2012 and 2014). That’s a cool way of looking at this, since.....I’m sorry, but I never got the hype behind France’s song.....It was well-performed, but.....I just find it kinda boring, save for the ending. I-I feel bad that I couldn’t make myself love it, cuz I wanted to, but I just....couldn’t. I guess it’s a case of me being too stupid to get it, pffffff. But I don’t dislike it, so I’m fine with it being the runner-up.
Switzerland won the jury vote and achieved their highest placement since.....*looks it up*....1993, geez.....AKA, their highest placement since I started watching. XD This is FAR from my favorite entry of theirs, but I still like it fine and I’m happy to see Switzerland do well. It was a powerful song. And, unlike other jury-pleasers like the Austrian entry in 2018 and the Macedonian entry in 2019, they actually got a triple-digit score from the televote! They were loved all around! The same goes for France, so....that makes the most obvious “jury bait”, uh....Portugal, I guess. XD
Iceland came fourth, and.....can I just say how bad I feel for those guys? From having a potential win snatched from under them by last year’s cancellation, to one of them getting Covid the day before their semifinal, making them the only act that couldn’t perform live, it felt like Iceland couldn’t catch a break. But thankfully, due to their very strong rehearsals, they were able to rise above it and come fourth PURELY based on the strength of their song. Heck YEAH, what a beautiful ending to this story. They weren’t one of my personal favorites, but it was still a very cute song, and it DESERVES its placing just so much.
Ukraine’s song was one that only got better and better for me over time, and it was also the favorite song of a friend of mine, so seeing them in the top five makes me happy too! That’s a FUN song, and it’s near universally loved, so I wasn’t too surprised. I did guess that it had a chance at pulling off the win, but the competition was too strong. In a weaker year, they probably would’ve done it.
I’m really happy to say this next one: Finland came sixth! WOOOOOO! Their first top ten result since Lordi’s win and awwwww MAN do they deserve it. Such an awesome, intense song! It was my favorite song in the final, and I wasn’t alone! They brought the roof off the place, and for good dang reason! Seeing Finland do so well after being so underrated for so long.....it makes me very happy to see that happen. Especially with a song as amazing as “Dark Side”. It’s now a permanent part of my playlist, and I love it. <3 Empire of the freaks, all drinks on ME!
(I stand by the fact that Finland should just keep sending rock songs to Eurovision. They’re clearly very good at making those)
Now, Malta coming seventh.....hmmm....I have some problems with this? I mean, pre-contest favorites not doing as well as predicted HAS happened before (oh, hello 2017), but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little surprised? I really do think they deserved to do a bit better.....I thought that was a top five-worthy song and performance.....I’m happy with the top five we got, but I didn’t think Iceland and Ukraine would place over Malta! Destiny had one of the best voices of the show! If I had to guess, it was because they performed so early? Or maybe people just overhyped the heck out of it and it got old. I dunno. Seventh is still good for Malta. So yeah, it’s not bad, just a bit surprising.
Lithuania in eighth, I pretty much called. I knew that was a top ten song. Still couldn’t beat LT United’s record though, pfffffff.....Guess Lithuania have to try even harder to do that. XD Russia was another one I knew would be in the top ten. Their song had a very strong message that sticks with you. Lithuania and Russia may not have been favorites of mine, but I can’t complain with their results at all.
And finally, rounding out the top ten is my second-favorite, Greece, tied with Bulgaria! I’m more than happy with this result for Greece - I would’ve liked to see them do a BIT better, but a top ten finish is a top ten finish, and the competition was really strong. Their entry was still fantastic! A powerful song I can’t get enough of AND the best staging of the year. You can’t say Greece didn’t try their hardest!
As for Bulgaria....not complaining. It was a fan-favorite for a while, but for me, it was a song that I loved the lyrics to, but not much else. I did think it’d do a bit better purely because of how relatable the lyrics were, but with this competition? This was the best they were gonna get. XD A slow song in a sea of high energy-performances. Makes it stand out, but not necessarily be what people wanna hear.
The same is true for Portugal, who had the other slower song. THIS was the “jury bait”. XD Seeing how many points the jury gave them compared to the televote....wasn’t all that surprising. It’s not a bad song at all. It’s actually pretty good. And twelfth is a good result for Portugal. I think they can be happy with that. “Jury bait” isn’t a bad thing at all, cuz I’ve liked plenty of songs that’ve had similar results (I’ve even loved a couple of them)
Moldova were a surprise for me. I honestly expected them to place toward the bottom. Their entry was fun, sure, but I didn’t think it....stood out all that much? I feel like it was missing something staging-wise. Moldova’s entries usually have really creative staging, so yeah, maybe I just felt a bit let down. But the song’s good. It just....was a party song in a sea of them. XD
Now Sweden, on the other hand.....I’m actually not surprised THAT much. Yeah, I did at first predict that it’d finish in the top ten, cuz....well, it’s Sweden, and the song was good and seemed to be popular. But after the first semifinal, reading comments and posts from fans really made me realize just how many people....don’t like “Voices”? It’s been called generic a lot, and.....well, I don’t agree. I think it’s a very good song. But I’m just one person and yeah, seeing the popular opinion of it just drop like that made me change my mind on calling it a top ten song. XD Not gonna act like seeing Sweden on the right side of the board (even at the top of it) isn’t still a bit weird, though....
Serbia, I thought would do better. I thought they’d be higher than Moldova at least. That was a big crowd-pleaser and a great hype song. I didn’t think it’d be a front-runner or anything, but I did think it’d be on the left side of the board. I can’t even say that it being in Serbian held it back, cuz this year proves that non-English songs can and will be fan-favorites. So.....I dunno what happened there.
After Serbia are two other party songs, Cyprus and Israel. I have nothing really to say about Israel. I thought they’d do about this well. And Cyprus, I’m kinda bummed didn’t do better, since it was a GREAT performance - it was enough to win me over, when it was a very hit-and-miss song for me before the contest - but going first when already there were a lot of party songs to compete with probably did them in. Oh, and the people who think parts of the song are annoying, like......I did for a while.....ahem. >__>
Then we come to Norway.....who were my third-favorite. At first, I was kinda....OK, very surprised at how they did, especially when it came to the juries. But after learning that they were only five points away from not qualifying for the final.....I’m just happy they were there. I’m happy I got to hear that song in the final. It’s obviously not to everyone’s tastes, so I shouldn’t have expected it to do well. I was just a bit hopeful. As it is, I love the song, and it’s currently one of my go-to songs to sing to myself. XD (Also, TIX is an icon)
Belgium getting only three points from the televote was painful, since I did like their entry a lot......but I can’t act like I didn’t at least kinda see it coming. Even though I liked them, I was still surprised they even made it to the final. XD With such strong competition, a band just standing there and singing a downbeat song? Yeah, this was as good as they were gonna do. Still a very cool song, but standing out was always gonna be an issue for them. They also performed really early on, so that probably didn’t help.
Azerbaijan....oh Azerbaijan.....how did they do you like that. Seriously, down in twentieth? What are they doing in twentieth!? They were one of the best of the upbeat songs! They stood out! I’d put them above Cyprus and Israel easily! I don’t understand that.....I do understand Albania though. They were pretty much doomed. Barely qualified for the final, and then stuck in second position. Ouch. Kinda unfortunate, since I actually like Albania’s song a bit more now after hearing it live....
I really, really, REALLY wanted San Marino to do better. I was HOPING they’d do better. They were clearly trying really hard this year. The little country that could, pffff....And if you ask me, “Adrenalina” is probably the most solid song they’ve ever sent (I say this as someone who loves “Spirit Of The Night”, for the record), so I thought it deserved to give them their best result ever. But....nah. It did worse than “Say Na Na Na” because....I dunno.....Serhat funny? That’s all I got....seriously, it’s unfortunate. The dream should’ve done better than the meme. XD
And we finally come to the flops.....the four countries that got nul from the televote, all automatic qualifiers. Seriously, why did FOUR countries get nul? At least three were saved by the juries, but if you ask me, it was still unfair.....
The Netherlands are the one I easily have the hardest time understanding. Germany, while I found their song funny, I can easily see why people would find it annoying (I DID think the televote would like them MORE than the juries though?), and I was not expecting them to do well, because it didn’t seem like they were trying to do well. They were just having fun. Spain, well.....a good singer does not a good entry make. It’s the Eurovision SONG Contest, not Singer Contest. If the song fails to stand out, you’re doomed. I was impressed by their performance, but it’s still just a ballad. It’s sad when you know the story behind it, though....And with the UK, it was a party song in a sea of party songs. It had TOUGH competition.
But....the Netherlands? Why the CRAP didn’t they get points from the televote? While not one of my absolute favorites, that was a darn good song and a great live performance. What happened? I don’t understand! There was nothing else that sounded like that! It was unique and sounded great, wh- my brain hurts....
On the UK getting nul overall though, I do have some complaints. Sure, it failed to stand out, but to score nothing? A bit unfair, isn’t it? I mean, there was nothing wrong with the song or the performance at all! It was the most fun song the UK have sent in years! I liked hearing a fun song from them! And c’mon, they’ve sent a lot worse before and still got points. “Still In Love With You” got points. That was debatably a joke song. “Love Will Set You Free” got points. That was a boring ballad. Heck, even flipping “That Sounds Good To Me” - it came last, but it at least got SOME points! And that song was CRAP.
Now, thankfully, I didn’t love this song nearly as much as I loved “Bigger Than Us”, so I’m not super salty about it or anything. I’m not gonna rant about the UK coming last again. I’m just.....a bit baffled by the nul. Geez, UK, who did you piss off? Eh, it’s not the end of the world or anything.....and I’ve been through good songs getting nul before (....”Black Smoke”....forever confused TT__TT)
It does make me a bit....hesitant....to track down the BBC commentary for this show. I usually love watching it that way, and it’s my preferred way to rewatch Eurovisions. And usually, Graham is a really good sport about the UK’s poor results (even when coming in last like 2010), but....how’d he handle a nul? XD I hope he didn’t overly praise the song....
So......yeah, that’s about it! I’ve missed rambling about Eurovision, and now.....it’s over! It was a good year, and I had a great time. It truly was a ride. Here’s hoping next year in Italy will be just as fun.
Until next year!
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I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVEN’T SHARED THIS YET. I am so, SO happy with the custom Jevil plushie I got at the beginning of this year.
The artist is BestGift4You on Etsy; She uses reference images and drawings and turns them into custom plushies. This is one of the best prices I’ve seen for custom plushes of this size, including the shipping cost. He came all the way from Ukraine so it took about a month to be shipped, but he was well worth the wait!! The crafstmanship is excellent, he turned out even better than I envisioned. The material is on the firmer side, but still squishy enough to use as a stress ball when needed 👍
https://www.etsy.com/market/bestgift4you
Mini Jev has been a great source of comfort for me after stressful work days. I took him to Miyakocon and he made a fun little prop at my panel.
*Don’t talk to me or my son ever again, again!
#Jevil#jevil plushie#plushie#custom plushie#jevil deltarune#jevil cosplay#deltarune#deltarune cosplay#bestgift4you#deltarune plushie
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Incorrect quotes!
Spain: Sometimes I wonder why I’m married to you.
Britain: I wonder why you married me everyday!
—
Germany: Good morning.
Japan: Good morning!
Britain: Ugh! You guys sound like robots! Spice it up a little!
Poland, kicking the door down: Horrible morning, dipshits!
—
Poland: Can you do me a weird favour without asking any questions?
Ukraine: Isn't that the bedrock upon which this relationship was founded?
—
Japan: So... I see you’ve been spending a lot of time with France lately.
Germany: No, Japan, it’s not what it looks like, I swear!
Japan: Oh, really? So no reason for me to get jealous?
Germany: I promise! France and I are just dating, okay? They’re my partner.
Japan: So there are no best-friend-feelings involved?
Germany: You are still my one and only best friend! They’re just the love of my life, nothing more.
Japan: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?
Germany: Of course.
Britain: Sooo, should we like, ask them about that, or-or what—?
France: I’m just- very confused—
—
Germany: People are always like, “are you a morning or night person?” And I’m like, buddy. I’m barely even a person so—
—
Poland: Can you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Ukraine: *crouches down*
Germany: *gets on knees*
Poland:
Poland: I hope you both die.
—
England: Britain, if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?
Britain: An only child.
—
Poland: I hate you with every inch of my body.
Germany: that's not a lot of inches-
—
France: i don’t identify as “male” or “female” i identify as a threat.
—
America: Hi who is this? Canada changed all my contacts to mythical creatures.
New Zealand: What’s mine?
America: Dwarf.
New Zealand: HE’S SO MEAN IM NOT THAT SHORT
America: Oh, hi Zealand!
New Zealand: FUCK
—
Germany holding a box: What would you say if I came home one day with six puppies?
France: What’s in the box?
Germany:
France: What’s in the box, Germany?
Germany: I think you know—
—
Germany: I wish I could sleep forever
France: I think that’s a coma-
Germany: I wish i was in a coma
France: Honey no—
—
Canada: OH MY GOD AMERICA IS DEAD?? OH NOOOO WHAT A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY WHO WILL TAKE ALL HIS MONEY??? I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO TAKE IT OH WELL SUCH A SHAME
America: Canada what are you talking about I’m right here-
Canada: *Pushes America down the stairs* TRULY A TRAGEDY
—
Germany: Oh I love play-doh! I used to eat it all the time when I was younger!
Japan: So last week—?
Germany: *It look yummy-*
Japan: Please don’t eat the play-doh.
—
EU: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it Barbara!
—
Germany: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?
France: Germany, it’s four o’clock in the morning,,
Germany: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?
—
Germany: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be-
—
UN: That’s not funny.
EU: I thought it was funny-
UN: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.
—
France: Britain, we tried things your way.
Britain: No, we didn’t-
France: I did it in my head and it didn't work.
Britain: That’s not how it—
France: Hush.
—
America: Welcome! This is my humble home. I’m joking, of course! It’s actually worth more than you’ll ever earn in your entire lives.
Canada: *Not if I kill you and steal your money-*
America: What was that?
Canada: NOTHING-
—
Italy: America, we need to talk.
America: Is it about joe?
Italy: I wanna get a divorce.
America: Joe mama- Wait what—?
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Better than a Dozen Red Roses
Written for @aphrarepairweek2020
Day 1: Flowers
Summary:
Why give flowers to your loved ones? They die after a week and there are plenty of other more thoughtful gifts out there. Why not give them something useful, right? At least that's what Canada thinks. Canada/Ukraine
Ao3 Link
The smell of chocolate wafted through the warm summer’s air as a quiet humming filled the small kitchen. The melody was accompanied by a light tapping of the woman in front of the oven’s foot. Ukraine doubted anyone alive today would be able to correctly name the tune she hummed, but then again didn’t every nation have one or two melodies lost to time? Such things reminded her of just how much time had past since her childhood.
Though unpleasant, lonely, and cold she often found herself looking back at that time with a sort of fondness only those burdened by the weight of adulthood can. A time where one could sing around the campfire without the thought of tomorrow’s responsibilities hindering the experience.
She knew that her childhood was not something she really wanted to return to, but she found a sort of comfort in allowing her mind to romanticize certain aspects of it. It made her feel almost human. If she dwelled on the thought, she could reasonably argue that her blooming relationship with Canada was a symptom of her desire to feel younger then she was.
It was true no matter how she tried to deny it, Canada was younger than she and he made her feel younger than she had in decades. When around him she could practically feel the years fall away. He made her feel comfortable being slightly sillier than was perhaps appropriate for the amount of heartache she’d felt.
This hadn’t been the reason she’d said yes to his proposal of a date six months ago, but boy did it make her decision all the more worth it. She cherished the fact that a man like that was her boyfriend, after all, how often does one find a man like him? Polite, caring, considerate, and to her delight, energetic. She sometimes wondered what he saw in little old her, she certainly hoped it wasn’t her *ahem* assets.
Speaking of the man of the hour, she turned to the door as a soft rhythmic knock rang out. Turning the oven off, she made her way over.
Looking through the peephole, she saw he was wearing a grey t-shirt with a red and black flannel button-up shirt over top. His blue jeans and running shoes completed the iconic Canadian look she doubted he’d done intentionally. She felt a little silly for wearing her white high heels and black and white checkered dress. She hoped she wasn’t overdressed; this was just dinner at her hotel room after all.
Unbolting the lock, she put on a wide smile as she opened the door for her companion of the evening.
“Hello Matvey,” she said as she tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She didn’t miss the way he sucked in a breath when he caught sight of her. The action made her let loose a soft giggle.
“Hi, Katyusha… you look great.” Canada’s voice was filled with amazement as he gave his reply. He was always so amazed and impressed no matter what she wore, she’d bet he’d act the same if she wore her dusty old overalls.
Averting her eyes to hide the blush that covered her cheeks at his compliment, she noticed that the man’s hands seemed to be hidden carefully behind his back. She allowed a playful smile to grace her lips as she looked him dead in the eyes.
“I thought you western men brought ladies flowers?” She struggled to keep from laughing as she asked her “question”. Her smile only grew when she saw the way his face fall. She’d caught him in his little game, she bet he’d planned on saying something cheesy before wiping out the flowers. Men, they all tried the same tricks.
“Oh, you wanted flowers” his voice was small as he spoke. His shoulders hunched and he looked away from her confused blue eyes.
“I’m… I’m sorry Ukraine I didn’t get any. I-I, well I thought you would be tired of them… but um, well I can go get some! I’m sure there’s a place open.” The speed at which he said the last sentence amazed her before she quickly realized that he was really about to run out and get her some.
“No! Um, I mean no.” She clasped his hand as she yelled for his attention. His eyes portrayed the same confusion a puppy does when first scolded.
“Matvey I was just kidding. I don’t actually want you to run out and get me some. I just… I’m sorry” She had been expecting the surprise behind his back to have really been flowers but didn’t dare tell him that. She already felt terrible for making him feel like he’d let her down.
“Let’s just forget the silly flowers and enjoy the meal I’d promised you” She was dying to know what exactly he was hiding but after that screw up she wasn’t about to try and predict what it was again.
Still holding his hand, she guided him into the kitchen before returning to her cooking. The space was just large enough to fit a modest-sized dining table and four accompanying chairs. Hearing Canada take a seat in one of the chairs behind her, she took the brownies she prepared out of the oven and turned to the two plates of food resting on the countertop.
She hoped he wouldn’t mind the simpler choice of meal. If Belarus hadn’t have insisted on taking her along on her wild goose chase to find out if the man Russia had talked to yesterday was in cahoots with America then she’d have gladly spent the afternoon preparing something more special than ham, mashed potatoes, and a bare-bones salad.
Turning to her guest, Ukraine was about to offer her sincerest apologies when she saw that he didn’t look disappointed at all?
“Is that black forest ham? That’s one of my favourite types of ham, how did you know Kat?” Canada looked about ready to drool at what Ukraine considered a lousy meal.
“This is fine for you? I can do better than this Matvey, you don’t need to pretend to make me feel better…” she quietly admitted and allowed her words to trail off before the tears she felt forming could escape.
“Why wouldn’t I like it? It’s a homecooked meal made for me by my girlfriend!” He confidently reassured her. Seeing her still looking unsure, he sighed before gently calling her name.
“Kat, I order out most nights or just eat Kraft Dinner. This is more than fine, I promise. I wasn’t expecting restaurant levels” his words were soft and kind, as he stared into her eyes. This was just another aspect of him that she loved, she was just as anxious as he, but he never made her feel silly for working herself up. He empathized with her, and she tried to return the favour whenever she was given the chance.
Once assured that Ukraine wasn’t about to cry, he began to dig into the meal. Realizing that if she too waited any longer to eat, then her food would be cold she also helped herself. The pair ate in a semi-uncomfortable silence before a bird flew against the kitchen window. Startled into laughter Ukraine suddenly found conversation flowing freely between them again.
Taking a slow drink of the wine she’d poured for the pair; she saw Canada’s eyes drift over to the brownies left atop a cooling rack. The brownies were one of the few parts of the meal she actually felt proud of. Her guessing his favourite type of ham was simply coincidental but he’d given her his recipe for his favourite brownies, and she been trying for two weeks to get them just right. Good thing too, she doubted the rest of the girls would even be able to look at another brownie after this.
“They should be cool now; do you want a piece?” she said as she bit her lower lip in anticipation of his answer.
“I’ll never say no to dessert unless it’s uh England’s idea of a dessert” he raised his eyebrows for effect at the end of his sentence.
Grabbing two smaller plates, she headed over to the counter. She desperately tried to ignore the sound of paper rustling behind her and tried to not get excited by the prospect of finding out what he had actually brought her.
Carrying the treat back over to the table she tried to sit still and focus on the warm dessert in front of her. She felt like a schoolgirl waiting for her crush to respond to a note passed in class, it was just a present. He’d given her gifts before but never had she had to wait this long to find out what it was. The suspense was killing her.
“Are you okay?” Canada was obviously trying to sound put together, but she noticed the slight tremble in his voice as he asked her. What had him so worked up? Was it her comment about the flowers?
“Well… do you notice anything special about the brownies?” she lied. Well, it wasn’t really a lie; she was worried that he wouldn’t like them. Blinking once or twice at her in confusion he turned his attention to the food on his plate.
Grabbing his fork, he took a piece and popped it in his mouth. After a few seconds of chewing, he drooped his fork. Ukraine clasped her hands together tightly at that. That wasn’t the most promising-
“Is this my recipe?”
“…yes?”
“… I couldn’t even tell. It’s better than how I make them!” His voice was a mixture of laughter and a smile. She felt herself start laughing too out of sheer relief. Looking back, Ukraine realized that it was silly to worry, even if it hadn’t have been the best it wasn’t like he’d have yelled at her.
“I didn’t think you have something special for me too.” The statement came out relaxed, but his posture stiffened as soon as the words left his mouth. Before she could even get a word out, he chuckled faintly.
“Katyusha, I wasn’t exactly truthful when I said I didn’t have any flowers” Canada shyly admitted.
Reaching under his seat he pulled out a large flat box tied shut with a yellow ribbon. Sliding the box across the table to her he rested his head on his palm and watched her investigate it. It wasn’t very heavy and didn’t make any noise when shook it gently.
“Go on” The excitement in his voice coming across clear as day to Ukraine. Opening the box, she found a white dress with flowers embroidered on the hem of the skirt. It was made from a light and flowy material that she bet would breathe well on a hot summer’s day.
“I noticed that your closet didn’t have any summer dresses and when I asked Russia yesterday, he confirmed. I hope you like it.” The smile that covered his face as he spoke was simply infectious and she found herself mirroring it in kind.
“Better than a dozen red roses.”
#aphrarepairweek2020#aph canada#aph ukraine#cankraine#day 1#FlashFlyingFish's writing#hetalia fanfiction#Better than a Dozen Red Roses
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For the liberal optimism that has been under assault since 11 September, 2001, the coronavirus pandemic is another rattling blow. The late-1990s vision of a world progressing steadily towards global harmony, towards sunlit uplands of universal democracy and technological wonder, has long since given way to pessimism, anxiety and crisis. But even more than terrorism and the Iraq War, the financial crisis of 2008 and the eurozone stalemate, Brexit and the election of Donald Trump in 2016, the pandemic of 2020 promises to stall globalisation, harden borders, freeze economies, and push the dream of liberal progress ever further into history’s rear-view mirror.
Twenty-five years ago the liberal establishment was embodied by youthful politicians, by Bill Clinton and Tony Blair in their pre-Iraq, pre-Jeffrey Epstein flower. Even 12 years ago it was embodied by Barack Obama, the soaring orator and handsome post-racial technocrat. But in 2020, even if the coronavirus dooms Trump’s populist presidency and allows some sort of establishment restoration in the United States, it will be personified by Joe Biden – a reassuringly normal politician in certain ways, but also the physical embodiment of political sclerosis, exhaustion and old age.
…
There is, however, another possibility besides a looming liberal crack-up – that a political order can be exhausted and sclerotic, its great ambitions foreclosed and its projects frustrated, and still continue for a good long while without either real reform or real collapse.
That may well be the fate of the liberal order over the next few generations: a kind of sustainable decadence, a zombie existence punctuated by periods of temporary crisis and alarm that continues indefinitely because all of its plausible rivals and inheritors have too many challenges and weaknesses of their own to effectively exploit its incompetence, torpor and stagnation.
…
Such an intellectual and cultural revolution could happen: Islam’s encounter with the secular heir of its ancient Christian rival is the kind of strange collision in which unexpected futures might be forged. But the form of Islam that could imaginably replace liberalism has yet to be invented.
…
Take the case of Vladimir Putin’s Russia, which has lately sought to return the ideological role that Moscow played under the czars – as a rallying point for traditionalists worldwide, and as a religious-conservative bulwark against Western liberalism and secularism. Putin has enjoyed some success with this gambit: he has admirers among Europe’s far-right parties, such as Marine Le Pen’s Rassemblement National in France, authoritarian friends around the globe, and his interventions in Ukraine and the US elections in 2016 have prompted a surge of Western-liberal Russophobia, with talk of great ideological conflict and a renewed Cold War.
But as a world-view, a system, an alternative civilisational architecture, Putinism is mostly smoke and mirrors. The Romanovs embodied a real ancien régime, an order rooted in a deep historical inheritance even when its days were numbered. Putinism does not have a similar justification for its powers, and following the collapse of Soviet communism from 1989 and the prolonged doses of neoliberal economic “shock therapy” that came after, Russian society is no more traditional than its more liberal and democratic neighbours. There is no legitimate mode of transmission for Putin’s system once he dies: his successor will either take power by brute force or claim (like his predecessor) the pseudolegitimacy of a rigged election – even liberalism’s enemies pay tribute to its norms. Either way, there will not be a clear alternative to liberalism, only violence, or parody, or both.
Perhaps there is something embryonic within the regimes of various Putinesque strongmen that could develop into a serious ideological challenger to the West. But unlike the totalitarianisms of the 1930s – or, for that matter, unlike the Islamic Republic of Iran or the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia – none of these regimes has claimed an alternative source of legitimacy; an alternative vision of where sovereignty resides. In practice “illiberal democracy” is either liberal democracy with somewhat more nationalism than Western bien-pensants prefer, or pseudodemocracy dominated by a dictator who refuses to admit his authoritarianism.
…
Nor is this illiberal form of politics even necessarily new. Set aside his cultivation of nationalist and post-liberal intellectuals, and is Viktor Orbán’s democratic but one-party-dominated Hungary all that different from the de facto one-party rule that often characterised 20th-century Mexico, South Korea, or Japan? It is not unusual for democratic systems to produce powerful parties that bend the rules to keep themselves in power. Nobody thinks that Mexico, when it was governed uninterrupted by the Institutional Revolutionary Party between 1929 and 2000, represented an ideological challenge to liberal democracy. For all the anxiety about Orbán or the Poland’s nationalist Law and Justice party, the same may be true of eastern Europe today.
…
It is for this reason that, unlike Islamism, the Chinese system has won soft admiration among the Western elite. Though not admirers of one-party rule, precisely, they are pundits and businessmen – such as Michael Bloomberg, a failed candidate for US president – who are impressed by the way that Beijing can implement big policy changes without the snarls of democratic debate.(Or the way that it can shut down an entire province to contain a viral outbreak that runs wild across the liberal West.) And unlike Putin’s Russia, China has enjoyed a rate of economic growth that is both an advertisement for its system and a source of growing global soft power. Those elites in developing nations – in Africa especially – who think China’s one-party meritocracy is a model worth imitating are closer to constituting a nascent post-liberal order than the illiberal client states of Moscow.
But there is an alternative hypothesis, that in the near future there will be a kind of convergence-in-decadence between the world’s rising powers and the liberal West. In this scenario, growth and progress outside the West levels off and political futility increases, and the afflictions of Western liberalism – problems of political sclerosis and intellectual exhaustion – wait to greet China (and India and Brazil, and Turkey and Nigeria…).
…
Disappointing growth is hardly a hypothetical. In Brazil and South Africa, often touted as potential great powers of the future, the growth rates of the last ten years have been indistinguishable from growth rates in the US and Europe. India has done better, and the absence of one-child totalitarianism means that it is not growing old as fast as China. But in the last few years, there has been an unexpected Indian deceleration, linked in part to the ham-fisted way that Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s government imposed currency and tax reforms. The joke often applied to Brazil, that “it’s the country of the future, and it always will be”, recurs with similar countries for a reason: it is (relatively) easy for poor, misgoverned countries to grow rapidly for a time when government policy improves, but it is a lot harder to accelerate past the pacesetters and into the new economic territory that a would-be rival of liberalism would need to do.
…
If disaster fails to strike, Chinese power will be greater in a generation than it is today. But a powerful China is not the same thing as a hegemonic China, or a China that is held up as a cultural or political model for the world. If China ends up as another rich-but-stagnating economy with a distrusted elite relying on a surveillance state to maintain its power, then it will not have pioneered an alternative to Western liberalism; it will be another case study in the convergence of liberal democracies, pseudo-democracies and would-be meritocracies, all becoming de facto oligarchies trying to manage stagnation and its discontents.
****
The desire of China’s elites – the very people who seemed poised to guide the West’s great rival – to leave for New York and London illustrates another way in which liberal decadence is well defended: the Western order is still good at weakening potential rivals through recruitment.
…
Two types of brain drain sustain this balance: one global and the other national. The global brain drain happens through high-skilled immigration – the one kind of immigration that still has something like bipartisan support in the polarised West; and for good reason, if you think of it as a process whereby the skilled professionals or would-be professionals of Latin America and Africa find their way to Europe and North America. In 2012 Ethiopia’s health minister claimed there are more Ethiopian doctors in Chicago than in their homeland, to pick a particularly arresting example. These professionals try to help their children find their way into the West’s elite, while the countries that they leave behind get remittances in exchange for losing their natural leadership class to Western cities.
The efficiency of this global brain drain is blessed by practically every professional economist, but its political consequences are also notable: it is a good way to make the Western world’s potential rivals a little bit better off monetarily but a lot less talent rich, by siphoning away their most ambitious citizens through offering them membership of an elite that they might otherwise supplant.
Something similar happens domestically as well. The most feared “barbarians” in the Western world today are not invaders from the distant steppes; they are the Rust Belt “deplorables” voting for Trump, the gilets jaunes burning shops on the Champs-Élysées, the Little Englanders forcing their country into Brexit. A great deal of elite commentary about the crisis of the liberal order assumes that these internal rebels might topple the system from within, that populists “inside the gates” are now the existential threat that Western institutions last faced from the Soviet Union.
But there is little to suggest that the populist movements are prepared to wield power in any effective way; their power, too, is limited by the way that meritocracy has recruited away the men and women who in a different era might have been the working class’s leaders and the hinterland’s elite. Populists can fill the streets and sometimes elect prime ministers and presidents, but they are disorganised, poorly led, conspiratorial and anti-intellectual in a way that undercuts their own effectiveness.
Perhaps populists just await the right combination of the man, the movement and the moment to become agents of actual regime change in the West. But it is also possible that meritocracy really does protect elites from effective challenges, and enables even an exhausted liberal establishment to return, Biden-esque, to power once the disturbances are over or once the populists conspicuously fail. This points to a future distilled by the US intellectual Michael Lind and his vision of what the later-21st century might hold if populism is defeated:
The other possibility… is that today’s class war will come to an end when the managerial minority, with its near monopoly of wealth, political power, expertise and media influence, completely and successfully represses the numerically greater but politically weaker working-class majority. If that is the case, the future of North America and Europe may look a lot like Brazil and Mexico, with nepotistic oligarchies clustered in a few fashionable metropolitan areas but surrounded by a derelict, depopulated and despised ‘hinterland.’”
…
On the other hand, rising temperatures have a greater chance of seriously destabilising poorer countries in the global South, Africa, the Middle East and India. They are more likely to limit economic growth, to overwhelm efforts at mitigation, to encourage yet more of those regions’ elites to decamp for London or Los Angeles, and to kill those left behind.
In which case, it is possible that strictly as a matter of Machiavellian self-interest, unmoored from moral debt or humanitarian obligation, climate change will help sustain the zombie liberal order instead of threatening it. A crisis created unintentionally by Western industrial development could, in one of history’s cruel ironies, help a decadent West hold off challenges from its rivals because it imposes greater ecological costs on the formerly colonised and defeated, than on the countries that led the first industrial wave and began to warmthe world.
One can imagine a future shaped by climate change that is like the present, but more so. Every rich place on Earth would be more like every other rich place, likewise every poor place, and the national-level political order would seem like a fractal of the international political order.
There would be an elite that seems interchangeable from country to country, a restive impotence and a lot of human suffering wherever that elite is hated or opposed, zones of chaos and disorder that do not really threaten the metropole, and no nation or civilisation charting a radically different course. That is a picture of what it would mean for the liberal order’s decadence to endure even after the pandemic, and to gradually become universal; that is what sustainable decadence would mean.
Why this sudden restlessness, this confusion? Because night has fallen and the barbarians have not come. And it is more likely than you think.
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05/23/2020 DAB Transcript
2 Samuel 2:12-3:39, John 13:1-30, Psalms 119:1-16, Proverbs 15:29-30
Today is the 23rd day of May welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it is wonderful to be here with you today as we move into the end…not move in…like this is the end of another week and…yeah…wow…look how far we are into May already. Let…let me not get sidetracked there. The next thing we’ll be talking about the weather and everything. So, let's do what we've come to do. Let's take the next step forward in the Scriptures this week. And we are moving into the book of second Samuel now, paying close attention to the life of David. Today second Samuel chapter 2 verse 12 through 3 verse 39.
Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your word. And even as we end another week, we are grateful for all that we have learned and all that You have poured into us this week. And we thank You that as we end this week we…we end it at least in the gospel of John, Jesus, with…with You on Your knees washing the filthy feet of Your friends. And we see that scene and we hear Your words that…hat we are not greater than You our master and that if You are our master than this is the posture that we should have, one that washes the filth, releases the grime away from those who are near. And, so, as we as we move to the end of this week and prepare to begin a new week, we take that with us. We want to live into that in this coming week. And, so, we invite Your Holy Spirit into that. Come Jesus we pray. In Your mighty name we ask. Amen.
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Community Prayer and Praise:
Hi DAB family this is the Lord’s misfit in Texas. I’ve been listening now for three years and this is my first-time calling in. I wanted to first encourage anybody who may be a new listener out there. I just want to say to really stick with it and it really will do tremendous things in your life. When I first started listening I was really just curious to know exactly what was in the Bible and what it turned into for me was a journey where I worked on my relationship with God and have just seen great things happen in my life and am truly grateful to everybody at the DAB for this app and for all of everybody who calls and prays for each other. It’s just very encouraging. Second, I did want to ask for prayer for my older sister. She’s now entering her late 30s and I know that she’s frustrated that God has not yet sent her husband. I know she really wants a family of her own and she such a great person and we know it’ll happen for her, but I do hurt when she’s lonely and I hurt for all of those who are in the same spot, especially with everything going on and people staying home. So, I’d like to pray in Jesus’ mighty name for Him to comfort all of those who are single during this time and who are really hoping that God will bring them a spouse. Give them strength and give them patients and if it’s your will Lord, please send them somebody soon who they can love and work on their relationship of love through you and for all those and for my sister. Please join me in that prayer. I love you all. Thanks so much.
Hi, my name is Cynthia, I’m a first-time caller but I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for years. I’m just calling to ask you all to continue to pray with me for my son and his wife. He’s trying to do the right thing, but Lord sometimes it gets hard. They’re going through something right now. I ask that God, Lord Jesus please help both of them to get a closer relationship with You, to put You first in all that they do Father God. Lord just pray with me Daily Audio Bible to help them to get closer to You, to do what they know to do. You know, the Bible says You do what You know to do and help them to study so they can learn more and put their trust in You, Father, God. I also pray for my grandson. He’s going to college in California, he’s a junior but he’s gonna move out there and I just pray that God will wrap his arms around him God and keep him safe from all hurt, harm and danger. And please Lord help him to stay on the right path, to stay with God Lord. He’s definitely a Christian, a good Christian. Help him to stay that way no matter what happens but just protect him and keep him safe in Jesus’ name. I thank You all for praying with me. I pray for You each and every day. In Jesus’ name I pray.
Dear Running Desperately to Jesus this is Alina a Jesus worshiper here. You know, God was just reminding me about the grandmother that actually I can never forget. I have a special relationship from my really, really small age. My parents were leaving me at my grandparent’s house during the summertime for the school grade, which is in Ukraine for like three months. And this special, special relationship that I had with my grandmother and be…and watching her grow in Christ, 20 something years later made me saved. I lived with Christ I would say all my life but the way that I am right now of __ for two years is completely different when during all these years her prayers were holding me together. And I look at my life and I see Jesus now. I see Him in every moment and every prayer that I was praying for all these years He was hearing everything. And I know that it probably was really hard for my older grandmother to take care of me and sometimes she was sick and she was not feeling good but the love that she gave me, it was…my parents could never give me that kind of love. It only can come from a grandmother’s heart. And I pray today that God is going to give you so much love to this child, that you’re going to be able to take care of him or her, and you will have this special time, and you will both enjoy. And I pray that Jesus is gonna wrap His arms around you and you don’t have to run anymore and He’s just gonna be there for you all the time. I pray Lord for this lady in Jesus’ name Amen.
Lord I just want to pray for Reed. As a 13-year-old I felt similar and I just felt like I could die and nobody would care and I just want you to be with him and to let him know that even his darkest secrets are worth sharing and worth shining light on so that he can overcome them. Lord I just hope that You can find a creative outlet for him, whether it be writing or music. Lord just lift him up, let him see You in the tiny crevices of every day. In Your’ name I pray. Amen.
This is Sam Here I Am with thank you and a praise for Rebecca from Michigan who called in on the 17th May. Rebecca I just want to thank you for your words. They were very encouraging to me. And your words of having to learn to love myself, forgive myself, see myself as God sees me really spoke to me today and it was very timely. So, thank you for calling in and sharing that.
Hey, DABbers this is Slave of Jesus in North Carolina. Alright Holy Spirit let’s roll. So, I have a rule with my wife that I do not mention any female DABbbes out there, but I don’t think I’m violating this. We have a member of our family that has been diagnosed with COVID. So, it’s Marjorie. So, if we can get your prayers for a quick recovery from Marjorie but more importantly to know that she is solidly in You, in Jesus’ name. Amen. Duane, amen to your prayers for Will who recently lost his stepson. Amen to your prayers for Joshua. You know amen prayers…someone called in praying for the Koranists and that they would look for Jesus. I don’t know if you guys know this, the Koran, that brought me to Christ. I know that sounds crazy, but I was an atheist, very hard-core adamant argumentative hard-core atheist but I had to start studying the Koran for my job. My job in the military was to think like the enemy. I don’t think that Muslims are the enemy. We just happened to be fighting a lot of countries with guys who call themselves Muslims. I’ll take a pious Muslim over a hypocritical Christian every day of the week. But that all aside I started reading the Koran and there’s all these references to the Bible. And I’m like, “ugh…I guess I got a really read that stupid Bible so that I can understand when Mahammad’s ranting about the people of Lot. I know Lot’s in the Bible, but I don’t know what that means.” But so, Muslims believe that Jesus is the second most important prophet to walk the earth, like what he said came from God. They use Ala, but the one and only God. They believe in one God. And, so, you can talk to Muslims about Jesus. I know we’ve had 9/11 and that clouds our ability, but I say it’s easier to talk to a Muslim about Jesus than it is an atheist who doesn’t even believe in God. So, think about that and thank you for that person who said we should pray for the Koran. Love you all have a great day.
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✧I Need You✧ Chapter 41
Natasha had had something she’d had to attend to for most of your training day, which worked out because you similarly had many things to get to sitting on your desk. Things that Pepper unfortunately couldn’t just push through for you. People to see who wouldn’t talk to her. Calls to make that were above her paygrade- even if you both agreed that she would do just fine. It was more that the people on the ends of those lines weren’t up to listening to anyone save a CEO. And god knew Tony couldn’t be bothered.
What it led to was a day of mounting frustration. Hours of nonsense and corporate waste to only get a few things resolved. It eventually made you realize, when you got down to SHIELD’s compound, that working out with Natasha was a blessing. Working with the punching bag today and then sparring with her, while she very obviously pulled her punches, was so much of a relief. To get to spend all that pent up frustration. It was nice.
“We should do this at night more often.” Working through your cool down stretch with her, a little groan in your words as your muscles let you know you pushed too hard today.
“It’s nice. But I’m busy more at night than I am during the day.”
Right. Right. You weren’t the only thing she had on her agenda, similarly as she wasn’t for you. But it had a much different ring to it. You imagined all the sorts of things she must have gotten up to… running around at night doing well, who knew what. You probably didn’t want to know, in fact. “Hey, I haven’t really eaten all day. Do you wanna grab some dinner?”
She stopped toweling off, casting what seemed to be a confused glance more than anything. Like she never would have expected you to ask her something like that. “Dinner?”
It made you feel embarrassed. She probably had other things to do. “We don’t have to. Never mind-”
“No- actually I’m starving. Dinner sounds nice.”
Her smile put you at ease. It really would be a lot better if the two of you got to know each other- at least a little. And despite the mountain of nonsense that had gone on before, you really did like her. For some reason. She seemed like a good person. Better to get on the same team with. “Great. On me. I know a really nice restaurant not too far from here.” You picked up your bag and headed over to the door with her.
“You driving?”
“I’ll call Happy. He can take us.” Not busy, you were sure, as Tony had been in the lab as you’d left.
“Oh- you know- I wasn’t able to properly thank him for all the help back at Hammer Industries.” The two of you left the gym side by side.
You sent a quick text to alert him to come pick you up, but at that you cast your glance back up to her, eyebrows just about all the way up. “He helped you?” Not that you didn’t believe he could but… Natasha seemed far more capable.
“He took down one guy. That’s worth something.”
“How many did you take down?” The air outside the compound was fresh and cool. Something you enjoyed after those few hours sweating it out.
She grinned. “I don’t usually make a habit of counting. ...and if I did, I lost track somewhere around ten.”
You found yourself laughing lightly. “More than I could ever do.”
“You’ll get there.”
---------------------------------------------------
To her credit, she did thank Happy when he pulled up and he was oh so humble in accepting her gratitude. On the way, you called the restaurant to ask them to put aside the back corner for you so that the two of you wouldn’t be disturbed. Happy wanted to stand by- security measures of course- but the two of you let him know that you’d be fine and that he could go enjoy his evening.
They had a small band playing tonight, someone on the piano and some string players, nice lounge music to cover whatever conversation the two of you would end up having. Not that you expected it would be entirely sensitive. At the recommendation of the overly-eager waiter, the two of you ordered what ended up to be a mountain of pasta. And an accompanying glass of wine. But only because he’d recommended it, of course.
You found it was easy to slip into friendly cadence with her. Talking about some good places in NYC. She frequented Little Ukraine- a place you knew little about. So she promised to take you to some of her favorite spots the next time the both of you were there. More often than her, it seemed. With the supervision of Stark Tower- which she had a few helpful opinions on- and the Expo, you’d be there more often than not in the next coming months.
So she actually wrote down a list, just in case she wasn’t there to personally show you. But you insisted, it’d be better to wait for her keen eye.
On the second glass of wine, with your plates empty and the jazz just overhead, you found yourself a little too bold. It risked ruining the evening but… “So… am I allowed to ask how long you got involved with SHIELD?” It was a mystery to you, how they found these people. They’d literally hunted you and Tony down for obvious reasons. But what about normal people like Natasha?
“Sure you are.” It helped that she didn’t seem off put by the question, smiling still as she hung her arms over the back of the booth.
You were helpless to do anything other than smile back and concede to her teasing. “So… how did you get involved with SHIELD?”
“Long story. Very boring.”
“I doubt it.”
The two of you shared a laugh and she took another small sip of her wine. “Yeah. Well… to make it shorter…” Suddenly the joking air disappeared and she seemed contemplative. Openly- which was more of a shock. Maybe she trusted you enough to share such an intimate expression? “I got caught doing the wrong things. And SHIELD gave me a chance to do better.”
A very succinct answer. And the only one you’d get, you knew. So you respected it with a nod and decided not to press. “Sorry. I know bringing up work is tacky.”
She shrugged. “It’s part of both of us. I don’t know if I told you but… it’s on my permanent record now. That I disagreed with what Fury did.” It was a little difficult to ascertain why she was telling you this. And now.
Harder still because you were trying to bond with her and you didn’t want to think she had ulterior motives for letting that information go. “What, you mean shooting me?” Despite the way you still felt about the situation- and him especially- you smiled.
“Yeah. Really- for the most part I never question his direction. At least he’s never given me a reason to. Not like that.”
This really was strange. That she was opening up like this. About her boss. SHIELD, really. That the director of SHIELD- that she took issue with his behavior on your behalf. It felt strange. You didn’t know what to make of it. Inwardly you checked yourself. To make sure this wasn’t somehow your doing… “Agent Coulson said he always has a reason.”
“He does.” Said quickly, in his defense now. “But talk about the perfect way to get off on the wrong foot.”
“Oh you don’t have to tell me twice.” Grinning at her. Eased a little when she grinned back.
It seemed it was her turn to try and find footing in asking something work-related. “I know it’s only been a few weeks but. Do you feel like we’re helping?”
“The million dollar question. I think for sure I’m learning a lot with you. Even if I do go home with bruises and can’t move the next morning.”
She raised her glass so you raised yours back for a little clink. “You’re welcome.”
Sharing in another soft bout of laughter. “Yeah. But. The other stuff is slower. I think I got more out of the first day than I have any other one after it.” Almost quite literally. It gave you an entirely new pair of eyes, for some reason. And then not much else to do with them after the fact.
“It won’t be an overnight thing. I’m sure you’re doing your best.” Her praise warmed you. Only indulging in it a little. “How’s Tony doing?”
This surprised you. “Oh. It’s not Mr. Stark anymore?” But you were really only playing.
Her smile was bright. “We all work together now, I think we should be on a first name basis.”
Humming out a noise of thought, “Hmm. Weren’t we working together before?”
“No.” She was quick to reply, but then, “I was only pretending to work for you. Now we’re working together.”
You couldn’t stifle the laugh. “Oh. Right. And not pretending.”
Tony’s voice startled you, “Depends on who you’re asking.” Walking over with such confident ease, hands in his jacket pockets. “What happened to my invite to this little tête-à-tête?”
“We’re having a girls night out.” Tipping your head back as he came to stand behind you, arching a curious brow his way.
“Right- so again I ask-”
“And that’s my cue to leave.” Natasha said, playfully so, but still serious as she grabbed her bag and stood up.
You couldn’t help a pout. “Nooo don’t go… Tony- what are you even doing here?” Not really mad that he’d spoiled the evening. But he wouldn’t be here without reason. Which was probably worse.
“Agent Coulson just let himself into our house and demanded a meeting. For all their spy intel, he had no idea you were here. With one of theirs.” Both he and Natasha were eyeing each other.
Something that ended when she smiled at him with a tip of her head. “I’m not on a leash.”
“Whatever you say.”
She turned her attention pointedly to you. “If Coulson is at your place, it’s probably serious.”
“Right. That’s why he’s lying on my couch watching Say Yes to the Dress.”
Natasha ignored Tony, waving at you instead. “I have to go anyway. But this was nice.”
You waved back. “Yeah. Work calls, I guess.”
“You’ll get used to it.” And with that she turned and left.
Tony put his finger on the rim of your mostly finished second glass of wine and tipped it back and forth. “Getting drunk with secret agents?”
Putting a couple bills on the table, far more than what the dinner was worth, you got your bag and stood up. “I’m not drunk.”
His arm came around you, leading you through the restaurant and to the door, holding it open for you. “Such a shame. We might have been able to get out of this.”
---------------------------------------------------
Back at the house, you fixed all three of you a glass of ice cold water, something to soothe the very slight fogginess that drinking had imparted to you. It really wasn’t a good time to not be in full control. But it also wasn’t fair that apparently SHIELD could just descend whenever to ask you to do something-
...if that’s what was going on. It was be the first time. And you weren’t sure how to feel about that.
Sitting at the kitchen bar, you took the stool next to Tony, sitting opposite Coulson who had two folders open. Boy, you realized, you were really getting sick of seeing agents and folders.
“You’re familiar with General Thaddeus Ross, aren’t you?”
Both you and Tony couldn’t hold back an eye roll. And if was you who answered first, “Unless you’re about to tell me we’re in charge of throwing him a shitty retirement party-”
“I’m already half out. But go ahead.” Tony crossed his arms.
Coulson gave both of you a pointed look. No doubt displeased with your antics. And apparently he knew just how to curb both of you to heel, sliding a picture forward over the counter. What you saw- ...it was horrifying. Some kind of- well… the only way to describe it was a monster. Some huge grotesque beast. Yellow-orange skin. Grisly muscle and bones protruding everywhere and… just awful. “That’s Emil Blonsky. He was a soldier under Ross’ command. Ross has him in custody.”
“What is he? What happened to him?” Unable to keep from blurting this out. Tony sat silent.
“After assessing an initial threat, Ross put him through a small round dosage of Super Soldier Serum. He was tasked with taking down a similarly enhanced individual. He failed.”
Enhanced individual. Words that had been used to describe you. To describe the team you were supposedly on right now. The Avengers. You didn’t like this. You didn’t like this at all.
There was a sudden burst of anger with a touch of resentment roiling off Tony. It took all you had in you not to look at him and give it away, and to not reach out to put a hand on him to soothe him. “I warned him.”
What did that mean? Tony knew about this ...whatever that Serum stuff was? This Blonsky guy… whatever that stuff was, it had done that to him? Changed him into a monster??
“There’s another one?” Tony spoke again, quiet and controlled this time.
“We don’t know where he is. We’ll track him down eventually. Blonsky is our primary point of concern at this time.” Coulson laced his hands together over the top of the counter.
“Why? You said he’s in custody?” Which had all manner of implications. If he had to be shackled, that meant he was out of control.
“SHIELD is being asked to meet with Ross to barter the release of Blonsky to the Avengers team. We’re sending the two of you to do just that.”
A heavy silence hung, and you cast a side glance to Tony who was squinting at Coulson. Trying to figure this whole thing out. Because it didn’t make sense. More than that, it didn’t feel right. Who was asking SHIELD to do this? And why were they cooperating? Why were they sending the two of you? Even in consulting positions… it didn’t feel right.
And this man… this thing… the way it looked in the shots in the photographs. You couldn’t pick up a feeling off pictures, but he looked angry. Dangerous. Not fit for this team. This carefully crafted empty team. A team that was supposed to be made up of decent people. So you’d thought.
You blinked- once- then again.
Feeling a perhaps overly projected ripple- pressured. Coulson was feeling pushed into this. Just on the outer edges. Nowhere near the real truth of things. But just enough-
“You don’t actually want us to do this.” But it was Tony who spoke first. Quicker than you. Smarter than you. Even without your powers.
“Yes, I do.” He answered calmly enough.
So you decided to try to be useful. “You know we know Ross. And this thing… you don’t actually want him on the team, do you? You’re sending us to fuck this up for you.” SHIELD had knowledge of Tony’s dealings with that infuriating man. They had to know that he and Tony didn’t get along.
Coulson’s smile gave him away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re sending you because you’re qualified. And because it’s time to put you out in the field.”
Tony was smirking now, just lightly. “You want me to piss off Ross? All you had to do was say please.”
“Again. I’m asking you to go work with him. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Coulson cleared his throat and pulled his pictures back into one of the folders. “General Ross has been seen drowning his sorrows in all the DC bars. We know which one he’ll be heading to next, come tomorrow afternoon. You’ll meet up with him then. Here’s all the information.” He slid his other folder your way.
“And if we say no?” Tony was barely glancing at the contents on the inside.
“You won’t.” Coulson’s usual dry cheerful tone. He stood up. “If you’ll excuse me.”
Standing and going to his side, “I’ll walk you out.” Tony watched the two of you disappear around the corner.
At the front door, Coulson turned to you. “We’ll reschedule our session, considering.” You were supposed to be with him tomorrow. But. Now that was off the table.
“Thanks.” This whole thing made you uneasy. “I don’t know if you can’t speak candidly… our house is proofed against that sort of stuff. Just- let me ask- how badly do you want us to do?” It was the only thing that made sense. If he’d just be clear about it, it would make your lives a lot easier.
But that was never how it went, was it.
Coulson reached out, shaking your hand. “Stop insisting. Despite your past with Ross, I expect a perfect job.” As he leveled a last look your way- a wave of understanding passed between you two.
“Perfect. Got it.”
Perfection he’d get.
---------------------------------------------------
Tony briefed you on the jet ride to DC, more than the few sentences inside that SHIELD folder ever would. Something else fishy was going on here, that much was clear. But it was more the Super Serum project that you were interested in- and how Tony knew of it.
Notes from his father, it turned out. Which made it all the more clear why he’d been feeling the way he had. A lot of that stuff was locked up tight. Entangled now with SHIELD business- or had it always been? You knew more than you should about his father, but more what he’d been doing with Stark Industries. As that had been your job. Was still, in fact. Despite all this other stuff.
But it seemed he had been involved in quite a lot more than you’d understood.
And what had come out of it…
“Captain America?”
Sure, the name was familiar. He was taught in just about every history class in elementary school. Funny, how you’d never considered him before. Technically he did fit under the whole superhero role… It was probably very likely, if they existed back then, that SHIELD had gotten a hold of him. But did SHIELD go back that far? They were still a mystery.
“Dad’s favorite pet project.” He was sipping on a glass of whiskey, phone in his other hand. This was a sore subject.
“But he had something to do with this Super Soldier stuff? With Captain America?”
“It’s complicated. And… blurry. He didn’t exactly leave all that information lying around for me.”
Sensitive stuff, you imagined. But more than that… you laid a hand on his restless leg. He didn’t want to talk about this. It touched a lot of things he’d no doubt shoved away. Even if he’d offered openly, right now was not the best setting. “And you’ve spoken to Ross about this stuff?”
“He pitched it to me because he was interested. And if it had dad’s name on it, I’m the next best person to come to. But I told him that it was a mistake. Good to know he values my opinion.”
You breathed out an annoyed sigh. “The only thing that man values is the next badge on his coat.” Which made it all the more clear why, even if Tony had advised against this, he’d done it anyway. “He was trying to create another Captain America, you think?”
“Who knows. All I know is this isn’t all the information.” He put his phone down, taking a long sip of his drink and then looked at you. “Unless they had a heinously bad batch- these mutations…” Shaking his head with a breath. “I don’t think this is how that happened. There’s something else they’re not telling us.”
So. SHIELD was withholding information. Not the least bit surprising. Giving you just enough to send you out. To make Tony work. “You think they have more serum?” That was an important sticking point.
“Tough to say.”
“We should look into it. And destroy it.”
One thing was clear. The military had given something extremely dangerous to a soldier in order to cultivate a human weapon. Even if Stark Industries was not technically on the label for this one, it couldn’t be looked the other way on. Even if this serum was not the original point at which Blonsky had turned into a monster… you didn’t have a good feeling about this.
Tony grinned lightly, putting his free hand over yours on his knee. “I agree.”
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The bar SHIELD was sending you to was in a seedy part of town. Definitely a dive. A place where Ross could drink his sorrows away without being bothered, you imagined. Tony held the door open for you and immediately you regretted coming. The smell of smoke penetrated your lungs. The glaze of sorrow hung over this place in a thick residue. No one here was happy. As you could have easily guessed of people drinking heavily at one in the afternoon on a Monday.
Ross was easy to pick out at the bar. Dressed in his general gear. Stupid mistake. Almost like he wanted his superiors to have to come and clean him up. Had what happened with Blonsky and this other unnamed individual bothered him that much?
Maybe it was a mark on his record. They’d failed, after all. To catch the other one. And whatever Ross had done to Blonsky, because of not achieving his goals, was probably not being looked on fondly. Yet if that were true, who were these shadow people above SHIELD coercing them into putting that monster on the team?
Tony adjusted his suit jacket as the two of you flanked the general as he sat at the bar. “Mm.” Tony hummed. “The smell of stale beer and defeat.” Ross looked up, head bobbling just a little. Perhaps already too drunk. “You know I hate to say I told you so, General, but that Super Soldier program was put on ice for a reason.” Any chance to revel in Ross’ failures was a good day. For the both of you. But Tony even more so.
Ross turned on his stool to look up at the both of you. Tony continued, “I’ve always felt that hardware was much more reliable.”
“Stark Industries paying me a visit.” Ross blew a cloud of smoke from his cigar right in your face. You held steady, mirroring Tony’s enthusiastic amusement at his expense. “To what do I owe the honor of such nice suits?” Stressing that this was anything but, in his eyes.
You smiled. “We hear you have an unusual problem.”
Ross gave you a dead eyed glance before looking at Tony again. “You should talk.”
“You should listen.” Tony said quickly. Ross took the cigar out of his mouth and sat straight. At least he was capable of being decent. Or pretending to. Tony continued, quietly, “What if I told you we were putting a team together?”
“Who’s we?” Ross looked between the two of you.
Tilting your head, “I think that’s a little above your paygrade. What’s important is, you have someone we want.” Starting the digs now.
Already he set to bristling. Tony’s smirk didn’t help. “Someone we’re taking. Call this courtesy.”
“I’m calling it annoying. And short. I’m outta patience for listening to pompous jackasses.” He turned back to his drink.
You leaned in on the bar on his left side. “We heard about your tremendous failure in Harlem. Heard anything about a court martial yet?”
He turned sharply on you. “I didn’t-”
Tony slid in on his right. “Just trying to help you out. Hand Blonsky over to us. Less babysitting for you. Less having to explain your flagrant negligence.”
“Who put you up to this? Who asked dumb and dumber to come bother me over top security clearance matters?” He was having a hard time focusing on either of you. And getting angrier by the second.
“How many meetings are going on behind your back, do you think, that put us where we are?” You shrugged at him. “And you where you are?”
“Careful or you won’t be able to get the smell of vomit out of your jacket. I expect I’m going to see your medals in the pawn shop down the street next.” Tony was all grins. This was easy. For the both of you.
Your dislike of Ross knew no bounds. And after what he’d done to Tony all that time ago… this was the least you could do.
But when Ross stood and reached out to take Tony’s lapel in a fist, you went on guard. Tony didn’t move a muscle. Unfazed. “Keep going and I’ll throw you outta this bar on your ass, Stark. And her with you.”
“Try me. I’ll buy it and bulldoze it before you can blink. And then where will you go for your next pity party?”
You moved over to Tony’s side. “We’re just trying to help you.”
“Well I don’t want your fucking help.” Shoving Tony back, he slumped back into his seat. “No one asked- and whoever’s doing the asking has no idea about anything-” He was muttering, a little more drunkenly than he may have meant to.
He was a sorry sight. Carefully light, “They know more than you.”
“Well fuck ‘em. And fuck you, too. The both of you. I’m not handing over Blonsky to you or anyone. Haven’t you ruined the military enough? Who’s got you on payroll now- after you tried to get out? What a load of garbage.” He knocked back his glass and stubbed his cigar out on the bar top.
“Last chance.” Tony fixed the lines of his jacket with a soft tug.
“Go to hell.” Ross got to his feet, no doubt intending to storm out. But as you moved aside, he turned on you very sharply. Behind you Tony nearly exploded into panicked fury but he held at bay. Ross’ fat finger was in your face. You stood silently, staring at him. “At least Stark has qualifications. You think you can just fuck your way to the top- come around and say anything you want? You’re ruining his company. And this country. -they used to be respected. But now? You’re the biggest mistake he’ll ever make. Mark my words.” This all came out in a drunken haze of garbled words, but you caught every one.
You took a breath, eyes still square with his. “I don’t usually take drunken slob soliloquies to heart. But since you used to be somebody, maybe I’ll make an exception.”
He was very suddenly in your face with a heavy meaty hand on your shoulder. “I got more than enough in me to put down a yappy bitch. Test me. Let me do the world a favor.”
Tony was moving behind you, hot with anger, but you held a hand down low to keep him where he was. Ross was drunk. And no threat. And even if he hit you, it would only very seriously be the end of his career. You couldn’t let Tony take this one for you. So you stood to his threats unblinking. “Step back. Now. Go home. Clean yourself up. You’re pathetic.”
And, if he couldn’t muster it on his own…
You sent a little white hot shame his way.
Enough to break him, to get him to ease back, mumble something else angrily and then turn heel and leave. You hadn’t realized it until just then, but the bar had gone silent. All the more reason his taking a swing at you would have only ended poorly for him.
Knowing this all the more when Tony took your hand in his. He was seething still. “You should have let me.”
“That’s not what we came here for.” Rubbing your thumb over the side of his hand. Waiting a few more moments before tugging him to exit with you and getting into the car still waiting on the curb. “Let him wreck his own career.”
“If only life were that simple.” He scoffed. The worst part was, he was right. There was little chance this was the last you’d see of Ross.
With a world-weary sigh, you laid your head on his shoulder, his arm coming around you- protectively- as you called Coulson. When he picked up on the other end, very simply you said, “We couldn’t secure Blonsky.”
“That’s unfortunate. I’ll report it to Fury. I’m sure he’ll be unhappy. Will you be in the area tonight for a debrief?”
Tony’s tension was winding you up. Going home right now… “No. We’re staying the night.”
“Understood. We’ll talk tomorrow, then.” Coulson hung up.
Arching an eyebrow at you, “We’re staying?”
Reaching up, you brushed the backs of your fingers over the line of his jaw. “We’ve both been working hard. And after such a successful mission I think we deserve a break.” Beckoning him closer in, you kissed him softly.
Setting a small well of relief and ease. He submitted immediately, holding you closer. When he broke for air, it was only momentarily. Knocking on the window dividing the back from the front. When it rolled down just a quarter, “Call ahead to the Four Seasons. I want the Royal ready.”
“Not going back to the airport?” Happy’s confused voice sounded. You nipped lightly at Tony’s lower lip and he got you back in a deeper kiss that sent heat straight through you. “...boss?”
“No-” In between kisses that were growing harder and harder to stop. “Hotel-”
If it wasn’t obvious enough, the spritely sound of your warm giggles tipped Happy off that he needed to roll the window back up and just do as he was told. It wasn’t really your style to be so blatant- and so rude at that- but with Tony’s mouth on your neck…
Your hands raked back through his hair. “We’re a team- you and I- you don’t-…” A heated breath out, losing your train of thought as his lips trailed the line of your shoulder. “You don’t… have to worry about guys like Ross-”
“Not worried.” He hummed, leading you down against the seats, arm still around you. “You weren’t in danger- I just would have liked to put him on the floor- for your pleasure, of course.”
Taking hold of his face in your hands you directed him back up into another deep kiss. Smiling, after, “Why don’t you do something else for my pleasure.”
He grinned against your lips. “Yes, ma’am.”
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A film composer interviewed me...
I was recently honored to be approached by a film composer who wanted to interview me over a couple of drinks, and this is what they came away with...
Interview with a Film Director Cameron McHarg
Cameron McHarg grew up in the rainy, blue-collar suburbs of the Pacific Northwest. He has won the Gold Addy and Silver Telly Awards, and was a shortlisted winner for the Cannes Young Director Award for the commercials that he'd written and directed. His first short film, Kicking Sand in Your Face went on to success on the international festival circuit, and was later sold to cable networks in the US, Canada, Russia, and Ukraine. His second short film, the end has also had a long and successful run on the film festival circuit and has screened internationally. Cam has written two feature films currently in development set for him to direct: the 1970's motorcycle road film/crime/thriller - Sitiado and a gritty coming up age (Stand by Me meet Deliverance) drama set in the 1990 Pacific Northwest - Monroe Log. He is also in the early research phase of writing a crime/drama based around Apache gangs in the American southwest. Cam was recently featured in Volume 2 of The Top 100 Independent Filmmakers in the World, now available on Amazon.
1.How did you come to be a director/producer?
Cameron: I actually started as an actor. Then, I co-produced a documentary that ended up doing well and I earned a scholarship to attend the prestigious film program at Art Center College of Design In Pasadena. Besides, I was at a point where I just hated the idea of sort of waiting for someone to choose me. I hated that powerlessness. And I have always loved the whole process of movie-making. Whenever I did work as an actor I was very fascinated and interested by the entire process and I thought that would help me work my own way in without having that hopeless feeling anymore. I hoped I could mix the best of both worlds. And that’s how I got into it initially.
2. What qualities do you look for when hiring a composer for your project? Is there one quality or thing that will get you to consider someone more than others?
Cameron: It might sound like a strange answer, but since I am not a musician myself, all I can do is to abstractly describe feelings, moods, atmospheres; my musical vocabulary is limited. That’s how I would describe things anyway, even to actors. When I talk to a composer I would try to explain what I am looking for that way and if they could get what I am going after from just my description- that’s huge. I think it’s a difficult thing to understand. It’s like going to a hairdresser and you sit down and say: “I don’t know..I just want to look good.” If I can talk to a composer and stumble around just like I am doing now trying to describe the concept of the story and what I am trying to make it feel, and they can come back with something (and it does not have to be perfect, we can make adjustments) and really get it.. It’s not necessarily listening to the composer’s music and going: “Great!” It’s more about their ability to understand what I am trying to go for in a story: the mood, the feeling rather than a rational idea. A composer who is technically great and talented might not be enough. Someone with a sensitive soul would be a better fit.
3. In your opinion, is it more important for a composer to have a unique musical voice consistent in all of their work? Or is it important for the composer to have a broad range of compositional ability to draw from so they will likely be able to adapt to what the project needs stylistically in any given scene / scenario?
Cameron: I would lean towards the former than the latter. I think a lot of people can be very technically proficient doing a lot of different things, but people who have their own specific life experience and their unique background bring something very special to the table, that no one else can do, maybe. And I am more attracted to that. It’s true for me personally. I would be the same way about an actor. Again, it goes back to communication. If a composer can really get me..I would rather choose that over someone who can sort of do a little bit of everything. I think there is something beautiful about it. It is such a collaboration, there are not a lot of differences between an actor and a composer or anybody else. If you throw these ingredients into the mix, various artists that have that specific background instead of a bunch of technicians that are generally good at a lot of things, I think it’s going to be more colorful, there’s going to be more to it.
4. What do you want to see / hear in a demo cue from a composer? Something custom made for your project? Something from other projects in a composer's past that might be similar? Live recordings? Are MIDI sampled recordings ok? What format do you want any demo material in? (Audio CD, flash drive with audio files, video files so you can see how well the composer scores to picture, etc...)
Cameron: Ideally, it would be great to hear something custom, again, it goes back to this topic: I would like to see if the composer can understand what I am trying to do. Of course, I would be curious about what has been done before to get a feel for things. I will get back to that example again. We are all just collaborators trying to make a movie, we are just pieces of one big puzzle, and we are equal pieces. I hate auditioning actors, I would rather meet people and get a feel for them, I would want to see what they have done before, but it is more about mutual understanding and connection, trying to scope this movies together. To answer your question, ultimately, it would be nice to hear a shot of something that’s for the particular movie. It does not matter that much to me whether it’s live recordings or samples, it’s irrelevant. Video is not necessary, I would even listen to it with my eyes closed, I don’t need to see anything. It is not as important to me as getting that feel. But it’s me, I might be particular.
5. How do you budget for the music in a film? Do you determine score costs ahead of time based on the kind of score you want or is it based on a flat percentage of the film's budget? How do you determine what a composer's involvement is worth on your project?
Cameron: I hate the business aspect of it so much. I see a composer as important as anybody else. The composer is probably the most unrecognized artist in the film business. I think that if the music is good you don't even notice it, oddly enough. It’s similar to editing in this respect, if you do notice it- the editor might be doing something wrong. I just recognize them as being unsung heroes. I don’t know how to budget for it, I’d say it is usually a flat percentage of the film’s budget.
6. What is your opinion on a composer working for little to no monetary compensation (i.e. for free)? Many entertainment industry departments have union representation that sets a minimum pay "standard" for what those jobs cost from week-to-week or day-to-day. But composers do not have and can not unionize by a National Labor Relations Board decision from the early 1980s. Does this affect at all your hiring or budgeting process for music? What is the lowest budget amount you have ever had for music score? What is the highest amount?
Cameron: It’s so messed up. So many of us are asked to work for free and I’ve done it many times, as an actor particularly. The only exception to it if everybody is doing the film for free. I have done short films where everybody was paid next to nothing and the ultimate goal for us was to make something we are proud of to use it as a showcase. But nobody makes money off of short films anyway. If you are making a feature where somebody is going to profit off of it, it is an outrage if you are asked to work for free, everybody should be compensated. What you are doing is worth something and there should be no shame in asking to be compensated, because you are bringing something valuable to the table that no one else can do. And if there is a producer who is going to make a dime off of it, or anybody else, they should share. The lowest budget: I’ll start with zero, which I had to deal with more than once. The highest -is the film I am doing right now that is in the early stages of pre-production. The budget is small- around $1M dollars and I don’t know the exact numbers but it would the same as we would pay to the DP.
7. How do you communicate with your composer regarding the creative process? What can the composer do to make that easier for you as a producer / director?
Cameron: We’ve touched on this a little bit earlier: I can do odd things to try to communicate what it is I want. I would do clips from other movies, paintings, photos, sometimes other music but not usually, because I don’t want that to taint it. Sometimes in my description I’ll make weird sound effects. I can be so abstract and weird about it, I’ll do whatever it takes to describe it - I would even show odd symbols. In some ways I don’t like it to be super literal so that the composer, the artist, could interpret it in his own way. Going back to the actors, as a director, I would never tell an actor how to read the line ( “Do it like this”..) for him to copy that. I would say something more abstract: “Do it more red!” I would want them to interpret the feelings in their own way rather than me being a puppet master. Same with a composer: I would give you a certain feeling, atmosphere and see how that is colored through you. That’s where special stuff comes from. Anybody can imitate but what's the point? I want you to do it because there is something special about you. There is something I want to communicate through the prism of your perception. I am fishing for a surprise. I am not a dictatorial director, I am a collaborative director.
8. Is it a more important perception for a young composer to have credits assisting other "big name" composers on "big name" films even if their jobs and responsibilities on those films were more technical and nondescript like "scoring assistant" or "midi programmer"? Or is it a more important perception for a composer to have a list of feature films where they were the department head "composer" in charge and 100% responsible for music, even if those films were smaller, indie, "festival bound" projects that may not have had mass public appeal?
Cameron: I would definitely lean towards the latter. I would be intrigued if they were mentored by some big-name composers on a big movie that I have respect for, I would definitely be curious to see what they can do. But being involved in a big Hollywood movie does not mean much to me. I think that the pendulum swings back and forth and things change, but right now I am not impressed with Hollywood movies, and there are always exceptions, but right now I think they are in a bad place. There are a lot of movies with guys in capes and tights and that’s fun, I can have fun with it too, I love all kinds of movies, but it’s not what I came in to movies myself to do. I was influenced a lot by the stuff from the 70’s that was a whole different ball game. The films were much smaller and centered on people. I would be drawn to something that is more personal on a smaller level then something more peripheral on a bigger scale.
9. Have you ever had a bad experience with a composer? Did you learn anything from that? Has it affected how you work with a composer since?
Cameron: I haven’t. I’ve had experiences where on the first try or two, after I have done my best, probably clumsily, to communicate what I was going for, I ended up really having misses. And I felt a little bit frustrated, feeling that it was going to be tough, but we got there eventually. I think, if I had a really bad experience with someone, it would be more my fault then theirs. I think it would be my failure to communicate what I was trying to do, it would be my responsibility. I remember it was over the phone, the composer was in New York. I did not show any examples. The music that I wanted did not have anything to do with real instruments, it was more atmospheric. I tried to give him mood and imitate the sound with my mouth. As a result, I was frustrated with myself since I failed to communicate what I wanted.
10. From your perspective as a producer / director, what is the one piece of advice you would give a young composer working to build their career in this industry?
Cameron: I think it’s difficult and even unfair, with some rare exceptions, for a young artist to have a lot of expectations thrust upon them, whether it’s from themselves or the outside world, because it is hard to really give everything that you are capable to offer until you really know yourself. It often comes with time, unfortunately, with a little bit of age and life experience, and exposure to life. So, give yourself a chance, be patient and kind to yourself and allow yourself to experience everything life has to offer, including the stuff that’s painful; take it as a gift, use it. Don’t put a timeline on yourself, live your life, don’t put a bubble around yourself: “I am a composer, a musician, all I’m going to do is write music”. Allow yourself to be exposed to life, try to really live it, don’t isolate yourself, let everything in life color you and color your work. Never quit, have faith that when you are ready the time will come.
I have had nothing but composers contact me over the years. I don’t mind it, I actually look at their stuff and listen to it. I understand it’s a hustle, I have done it as an actor. I think it’s smart, because you know what, I will go back; I am doing a feature early next year and these guys that are emailing me are on my mind. I’ll listen to their stuff first before I do any search. I think there’s value in that. You have to be smart about it, of course, don’t email me every week.
And lastly, own what’s special about you and don’t try to be everything. Figure out who you are and really own and market that rather than trying to be like everyone else.
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Around the river Wisla – “Warsaw Half Marathon”
After a successful 21-kilometer run in Katowice in 2017, I was full of inspiration and decided to make such events a small tradition in my life. When I began to think how to open my running calendar in 2018, I chose a half marathon in Warsaw. It started pretty early, right after the winter, so it was great. I can’t say that I was preparing for it in a responsible manner. I just ran several times in Kyiv, every time about about 6 km, at least for reminding my legs how to run
Warsaw Half Marathon is a historic event in terms of the number of people taking part in it (about 14,000 people, it is becoming more and more popular every year). Warsaw half marathons and marathons have been popular for many years among Ukrainians: it happens that some of them become winners.
It should be noted that Ukrainian athletes in this half marathon in 2014 took part in honor of other athletes who were killed or wounded in the Kiev Maidan.
Since it’s possible get stuck near the border, I went by train, because I did not want to risk. When arrived in Warsaw, I delivered the main items to the luggage room at the station and kept only the most necessary things to run. That a trouble! I as always managed to forget the towel and slippers. As practice shows, they do not include in my list of necessary things.
Warsaw met with kindness: it was a warm, calm sunny day, the snow had almost melted down. Rooms and starter packs were issued at PGE Narodowym. I typed the address in the navigator and went. Everything was beautiful at that time - I enjoyed the beautiful views of Warsaw and the calm Wisla.
A surprise was waiting for me: to get the starting number, we had to go through a red carpet. Going deeper into the middle of the stadium, we saw information stands of different marathons from all over the world everywhere, there also was an exhibition of sports equipment for running. I was very that among all the
stands there was one that told about marathons in Ukraine. It was nice to have a conversation with Ukrainians in a foreign country.
Walking further, I met with representatives of different cities: Białystok, Łódź, Berlin, New York, Krakow and a lot of others I couldn't help taking their brochures, it was very interesting to get to know everything. By passing the exhibitions of T-shirts and treadmills, I went to my starting number. When I got it, my way was to the Chillout Hostel. I wanted to take a walk, but a lot of things didn’t allow to do that. I chose the hostel in advance, thinking about everything. As Katowice showed, everything happens in life, so it was important for me to be close to the starting point of the marathon. The service and hostel status were at a high level. I did not expect that wonderful atmosphere for just 71 zloty, which I paid for 2 nights.
I settled, gathered all the stuff and went to look for a cozy place to have dinner, after which I would gladly go to the museum. Then I saw a Chinese fast food restaurant. You do not even imagine that delicious dumplings with cheese and rice with chicken meatballs! But that soup of water and leaves I didn’t understand at all. In general, the service was great. Then my way was to the Muzeum Narodowe w Warszawie. The collection really deserves attention, but my expectations were not justified, there were too many ancient hunting landscapes, portraits of various nobles and kings, as well as various church stuff, altars and statues added a sense of boredom.
The next day was special. Half marathon began at 10:00 in the street Konwiktorska. I woke up at 7 o’clock and got ready, it was a time to leave. It was not very far to go - only 3.5 km. After a little warm up I went to take a place at the start, admiring the LOT stewardesses, who told the rules of the PZU PÓŁMARATON WARSZAWSKI. There where a lot of participants, over 14,000. This caused a large crowd of people in the first 8 km, so it was quite difficult to escape. Somewhere I even had to outdrive them along the roadside. Though crowd in the next 10 km became smaller, still there were a lot of people. Quite often it led to great inconvenience. When I got to the second point with water, I drank the isotonic and went on my way.
After 16 kilometers I began to feel that I was not in fit and had to stop to rest. But even with a forced stop, I crashed into the time that I set for Katowice. I would like to run better, in 1:50 or 2:00, but I realized that the forces are not eternal and gradually leave me. When I get to the last item, I ate banana with an appetite
to add a little bit of strength and drank another isotonic. When I came to the finish, it seemed to me that all the forces had run out completely.
But it was worth it. Especially I liked running in the tunnel. And the overall route of the marathon was well thought out, there were several climbs and descents, the route laid through the bridges of the Wisla. The insidious support of the inhabitants of Warsaw was adding strength, the simple ordinary people who met
us on the way, musical groups, which were located throughout our difficult path.
As a graduate, i has traditionally received a medal, water, protein cocktail and non-alcoholic beer. After resting and taking a cup of fragrant, warm tea and a bowl of soup, i gradually began to gather my stuff.
That's it, friends, that is how the second half marathon ended in my life finished. I put a personal record and got another invaluable experience in running.
In general, I liked it a lot. Join!
Source: androshchuk.com/blog
#halfmarathon#run#running#півмарафон#bieg#polmaraton#біг#sport#health & fitness#health#travel#спорт#подорожі#путишествие#здоровье#life#життя#жизнь#impression#враження
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