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#it SHOULDNT be THIS HARD to find good vibe songs for us
fellas-is-it · 4 months
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got tired of all depressing and hating yourself for being aro vibes on legit any other platform besides tumblr (looking at you tictac app) so wanted to listen to positive aromantic playlists and legit could NOT FIND ANY??????
And the ones that were vaguely positive were made for aroace ppl. Which is great! But im not ace!!! So WHERE'S MY POSITIVE AROALLO REP?!?!?!
Anyways i solved this hyperspecific problem myself and made a POSITIVE AROALLO playlist:
Larger image of the playlist cover i made
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calowlmitygoddess · 8 months
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Ill fill the writing meme because i love talking about myself lmao
1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting? Standart arial, and don't care, tought i tried the comic sans trick a few times
2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil? Probably not, my handwriting is terrible, actually unreadable to anyone but myself. Ive used to write on papper back in highschool when i had to write basicly everyday, now i havent touched a pen in ages.
3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed? No standart ritual aside from needing music, anything else distracts me. The two songs i listened the most while writing is Respite on the Spitafields by ghost and Sacred Worlds by Blind Guardian
4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral? Can't think of any rn :^
5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true? I dont think i have any
6. What is your darkest fear about writing? That it all will be meaningless/no one will read what i do
7. What is your deepest joy about writing? Doing Something TM the whole, creation aspect
8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go? No dialogue, just write a piece of someone going trought their day, ive wrote a small exercise a while back that fit this.
9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know No. Unless i hear a Noise TM then they are very real
10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you? All my unfinished things haunt me daily. So much promise and so far nothing real. I had to write a thing to help let go of their ghosts
11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve? Only when it fits the narrative. I dont like killing characters whitout a major reason, usually thematic, otherwise it feels cheap.
12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules. Have the skill needed to make my Big Project reality, Have it reach some form of Good greater recognition/popularity, the last one i would keep for later.
13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy? Hard topics in general, big issues, relationships in any realistic way.
Literally just characters vibing, introspection, Over the top stuff.
14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back? No one ever asked for a book to me but id have no problem doing so. Im the one people shouldnt ever lend any books because i am very careless and would likely end up dropping coffee or something accidentally on it
15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends? I dont write in margins, but i did dog eared books in the past, and i use the jacket(?) of the book to mark my pages.
16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark? fuckenn... i dont remember tbh, again i use the jacket.
17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text. I have a post with a bunch of lore about the dragon species, i cant find it tought. But they are mammals that lay eggs, have no gender, their society mostly resemble that of bees, they have no currency, and the watsonian reason the main character goes by gendered terms despite not having one is because she thinks the words sound nice
18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage. I dont think theres any passages that have interesting enough backstories.
19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going? My dream since childhood was to write a book, ive always liked to tell stories, read and such, i would dictate stories that my mom would write down before i learnt how to do so. But then i got really into drawing and started to foucus more on that, and ended up shifting the foucus from writing text to comic making since every artist with ocs does that. I also changed foucus on projects faster than light, so i would write 2 chapters and give up the next day, or change the entire story the next week and such.
I stuck with comics as my goal for like the past 6 years, and only early this year i came to the conclusion that i really hate the comic making part of making comics, and that i like writting much better. Im very rusty+ the fact im not as avid reader as i used to, and the quality is not really good, but im having fun.
20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch
Wip, finish the wip, thats all i wanted since i was 10, what even is the point of this question.
21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not? I just started writting 'seriously' so i dont want to quit just yet. Also i have a massive undeserved ego, i dont think even the most discouraging,awful negative review could make me quit doing it.
22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud? I have one google doc, with outline+ chapters as i write them, i used to have different docs for lore/outline/chapters but its easier this wau
23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.
In the inn i stay during the week and my actual room in my house are essentially the same place, Is my room, its messy and damp but its confy enough. My table is turned to the small window and during the morning the sun hist right in my face. The table is equally messy, with cups and glasses over it, pappers stained with coffee and tea cover its surface. My one company, a small succulent that rests near the window, and a carved small owl that i need to constantly clean because its constantly molding due to the dampness.
24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it? Idk what kind of prep work you would do. I just sit and write mate.
25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story? Godamn i cant think of any rn. Most of my Extremely well developed characters are from my BIg Story, but it literally doesnt exist anywhere outside my head yet, so idk what is and isnt relevant to it. For my current wip is a little harder since the characters are like less than a year old. idk...Orick looks like a cat person, i think he would like to own a cat.
26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place? I go "what would a person in this situation with this background do" and try my best to guess.
27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why? Any character thats like a stategist or planner, because its hard to make them look smart without making it look like bullshit or predicting the future
28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why? Meira. Her narration came very easy to me, guilt ridden but still professional and calm, also Big Gay.
29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry? I was never a very original kid, im a vampire that sucks the soul out of other things to fuel my own. My current Wip main characters are based out of HK characters they resemble nothing of. Im always on the prowl for new media to steal from be inspired by
30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?
Sort of. I've dreamed with plots before, and i usually do my best to remember, but while at the moment i wake up feeling like that was the best idea in the world, after a while when i think about it again, its just sort of nonsense
31. Write a short love letter to your readers.
Literally Thank you to anyone who ever gave me the time of day. Im still a little haunted by those i dissapointed by never fininishing stuff but the fact that yall liked enough to make me feel guilty for giving up is also good in a way <3
32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?
'sometimes a dream is enough' - the last line from one of my favourite books. In context it drives me insane, it makes me rabid. But out of context its just neat
33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate? Im a Drawer! also tried sculpting in the past. And YES, my current dream is to have an illustrated novel.
34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go: No idea what an oxford comma is and at this point im too afraid to ask
35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens? POV character being the protagonist, i just found it such a neat concept. Also the protagonist needing to be a Good Moral Character.
36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know? Dinossaurs, i wanna write a story about dinossaurs one day...
37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you? Gay. Also very into dragons
38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us? I dont have any Weird habits i think? I can only imagine some kind of complain about how their current food sucks.
39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up? Not to be dark in the funny meme but giving up would literally remove one of the things that give my life some form of meaning
40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.
idk how to write poems sorry
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simpsiren · 3 years
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lee taeyong x reader
“my baby dont like it when you come around”
description. a new guy in college asks you for help to get rid of his girlfriend and slowly falls for you instead through your heated times with him.
genre. ANGST, college au, cheating au, bold/ arrogant reader x shy taeyong
warnings. none? except for the fact that this basically about cheating and having strong emotional tensions with each other, slighty suggestive
a/n. hihii i always thought of doing a ff about their baby dont like it song because its been in my head for so long HAHA also the lyrics are just uHem but yeah so anyways buckle up because theres going to be a lot of angst and tensionn also i didnt notice that i wrote so much like damn aNywAys enjoyy!
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you walk into class lazily, expecting the same thing to happen again. as you step into the lecture hall, your eyes immediately went to your seat. you sigh and push you glasses up before walking over.
“i swear when will people stop doing this?” you mutter to yourself, shoving all the gifts off your table, making it all drop to the ground and producing a loud noise. everyone’s eyes are being drawn to your direction. you roll your eyes as mark takes his usual seat beside you.
“that’s the most you got this week.” mark laughs in disbelief, looking down onto the floor. you flash a fake smile at him, making him laugh even more. “its so annoying. none of them even look good.” your eyes scan through the gifts on the floor, seeing one that actually looks decent. you pick it up and examine it closely. mark gets near you and does the same.
“ill keep this one. looks expensive.” you shrug, shoving the expensive looking silver necklace into your bag. mark scoffs, letting his body sink into his seat. “i love the fact that you only care about the value of the gift.” 
you click your tongue and stand up, proceeding to pick up all the useless gifts you received from the random guys on campus and walking over to the trash can, throwing it all away. you hear gasps and mutters around the lecture hall. you clearly couldnt care less, walking back, taking your seat and bringing out your materials.
“it cant be helped that youre the most beautiful one around here.”
“you think i dont know that? people do know that they shouldnt mess with me right? yet i need to keep up with unknown admirers and random texts of confession.” you let out a long sigh, as you rest your chin on the palm of your head, leaning onto the table. 
“you admit youre beautiful. your confidence is truly amazing.” mark comments. you kept your eyes to the front as you watch your professor walk in, along with a new guy you’ve never seen before. your eyes remained on the guy, watching him climb up  the stairs and walking to the seat next to you. 
your attention changes to the professor as she starts talking. but your ears immediately diverted its attention to somewhere else, particularly to the guy next to you. 
“why did you seat next to her? do you know how dangerous that is?” you hear the girl sitting behind him whisper. its no doubt that she purposely whispered loud enough for you to hear, wanting to make your blood boil. you ket your cool and focused on the lecture, taking notes accordingly.
“how so?”
“she’s hard to talk to. she only had mark as her friend and she gets pissed easily. her temper is the worst around here and she’s the most feared. a lot of guys like her for some reason and-” 
“are you done, sweetie?” you lick your bottom lip as you turned around the face the girl. you hear mark hiding his laugh with a cough. “if you are, i really suggest you shut your mouth before i sew it shut for you.” your eyes glared at hers, staring at her intensively. you knew that it scared her when she immediately looks away. you chuckle in amusement before turning back to the front.
you look to the side, to see the guy’s eyes opened wide, with an eyebrow raised. you smile softly.
“lee taeyong.” you whisper, reading off the keychain attached to his pencil case, nodding your head before paying attention to the lecture again. the guy coughs softly and faced forward as well.
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the lecture was now over and you start to pack up. you take your time since you know that it would be hectic to get through the large crowd of students who are also exiting as well as being able to avoid bumping into any guys and have them confess their useless affection towards you.
you were however intrigued to find out what’s going on outside when you hear someone whispering about the fact that there’s an extremely pretty girl waiting outside the campus.
by then, only you and mark were in the lecture hall. you figured it would be a good time to step out and find out the reason behind all the talking outside.
as you and mark walk down the hallway to the entrance, you tilt your head as you see a crowd forming at the gate. you sigh, taking off your glasses and rubbing your temples. “how the fuck are we suppose to get out?” you turn to mark with your eyebrows furrowed.
“im sure they’ll move aside once you come in.” mark places his hand on your shoulder and taps it lightly before walking forward towards the huge crowd with full confidence. you swear you can burst any minute as the the mumbles of the people fill your ears even more as you walk closer.
the moment one person makes eye contact with you. their eyes widened and signal their friends to quiet down. eventually, the noise starts to lower down as you made you way through the crowd. eyes were glued on you as you follow behind mark. you swiftly clean your glasses with the cloth in your pocket and put them back on.
as your vision starts to become clear, you notice that the one standing beside the girl is the lee taeyong guy from ealier. you walk over to them immediately.
you turn your head slightly to the back, signalling everyone to get back to what they were doing, and as always, they obey and the crowd dispersed itself. you look back to the front to where the cause of the nuisance started.
you eyed the girl intensively, looking up and down, observing every inch of her. you had to admit, she is quite the beauty. perfect wavy brown hair, almond shaped eyes, nicely drawn eyebrowa and plump pink lips. her body in the black tight fitting dress is amazing. it curved her body in all the right places.
you look up to see taeyong and the girl looking back at you with a raised brow. you faked a wide smile. “i dont think its wise to meet your boyfriend right at the gates of school.. especially when you’re this pretty. id fuck you.” you lick your lips teasingly and chuckle soon after.
“bitch the fuck?” mark whispers. you let out a loud, cunning laugh. “or perhaps...”
your eyes immediately connected with taeyong’s. you saw the fear yet a tint of interest in his eyes. you liked it. as you walk past the couple, you run your hand down taeyong’s chest. taeyong freezes as the girl’s mouth gape open, pulling taeyong away instantly with her arm around his waist. “id fuck your boyfriend.”
your head jerks toward taeyong as you whisper into his ear, but loudly enough for the girl to hear. with that, you wink at the both of them and walk off. mark smiles kindly before following behind you.
“that was... wow.” mark says to you, taking out his phone from his back pocket. you sigh, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.
“honestly who is dumb enough to meet their significant other just outside campus? they should be taught a lesson. and to think that taeyong guy is new.”
“his name is taeyong?”
you nod. mark nods back in reply as the two of you walk ahead to the small secluded cafe shop nearby where the two of you would usually hang out.
“i really hope i dont see him on friday. does he look like he’s the kind to skip lecture?” you ask, taking a sip of your tea while mark drinks his coffee.
mark shrugs, laying his back against the chair. “i dont think so? he has that ‘bad boy but obedient’ vibes.” you eyebrows furrow, but you slowly nod your head as you start to understand his view of taeyong.
“well i hope he wont let his girlfriend and him cause such commotion again. it took us so long to get out.” you whine, looking at the time on your phone. “we fucking got out like 30 minutes after! you know how much i hate getting off campus late.”
mark chuckles, running his hand through his hair. “we know, sweetie. we know.”
“dont call me that i swear-”
“suckass.”
“bitch.”
the two of you laugh happily and take a sip of your drinks at the same time before discussing about today’s lecture.
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friday comes and you see the gifts placed neatly on your table yet again. you roll your eyes and slouch into your seat. you are now too tired to even throw away the gifts and you give up doing so.
more people soon start to fill the seats of the lecture hall. when the professor walks in, you notice that the seat beside you is empty. you purse your lips into a thin line and shrug your shoulders, thinking that taeyong isnt going to come today.
“taeyong. its only your second day yet you’re already late.” your head lifts up from your table to see taeyong standing by the door. you rest your chin on the palm on your hand as you were intrigued by him again like the first time you saw him on wednesday. why? you dont even know yourself.
taeyong rushes in and sits down next to you. what surprised you is the fact that the same girl is standing outside. the murmurs and whispers come again. you swear you can get a headache from it.
you see her blowing a kiss to taeyong, making everyone shout and fangirl over her before she leaves and the hall is back to being silent. you turn your head to taeyong, who immediately look back at you.
“is she that crazy over you?” you ask, taking out your pen and beginning writing notes. “yeah. but i fucking hate it.” taeyong replies. you chuckle lowly as your eyes remain on the projector yet you could see taeyong blinking his eyes, as if you had an effect on him.
“she seems rich. you’re after her money, arent you?”
“it’s because i cant get away from her parents.”
“hm its also for the money. i can tell.” you look down at his outfit, a lot of it are designer and authentic clothing items. you laugh softly with amusement.
“why are people scared of you?” your eyes immediately darkens and you slowly turn your head to face taeyong, staring down at him. taeyong sucks air into his cheeks and glances somewhere else. laughing quietly at his reaction, you smile softly.
“let’s just say i have a bad reputation. yet im popular for some reason. its seriously annoying.”
taeyong looks down at the gifts that you have thrown off your table. “i can tell. you seem bold and intimidating.”
you take out your phone to scroll through your social medias in boredom. “bold and intimidating huh? you’re an interesting one. i like it.” you glance at the clock when you hear people starting to pack up. you too start to pack up as well.
taeyong is still seated on his seat, writing down the notes he missed from talking to you. you figured that he couldn’t multitask like you. before you stand up to get out of the hall you turn to taeyong. again it looked like his senses were all heightened and he’s being wary of you.
you got closer to him, faces inches apart. he didn’t move at all. his eyes still on you. you smirk softly, licking your bottom lip as you eyed him narrowly like looking at a delicious candy.
“looks like you arent intimidated by me. i like you.” you whispers softly, laughing loudly as you see mark waiting for you at the door. you quickly got up and went to mark. as the two of you exited the hall, you look back to taeyong. he’s still glued to his seat, not moving, his mouth gaping open slightly.
“oi let’s go.” you hear mark shout as you notice him already walking away. you smirk widely and follow behind mark.
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“im sorry what?”
“let me cheat on her with you.”
“no.”
you glare at taeyong as you take a bite from your meal. you and taeyong are having lunch on campus together and it never fails to have eyes glued onto you whenever you’re with taeyong. you’re only option is to hang out with tayeong since mark didnt come today. you have yet to ask him why.
“come on please! if she sees me with someone like you she’ll be too scared to get near me then i can finally break up with her.” taeyong whines, grabbing your cup of iced tea and taking a sip.
“protect your reputation, taeyong. look around. you being with me is already giving people a bad impression of you.” taeyong does what you say, looking around and realising that a lot of people were staring at you two. he turns back to find you picking on your food.
“you’re the only one i know around here. itll only be until me and her break.”
you eyes trailed up from your food to meet taeyong’s. you put your fork down and sat up straight, tilting your head slightly. “what’s in it for me?” people around you know very well that wouldnt do something without getting something back in return. it didnt take taeyong long to know that due to the constant whispers about you around campus.
“ill let you have the money she gives me?” taeyong says nervously. you click your tongue. you were definitely intrigued when taeyong says the word ‘money’. taeyong smiles sheepishly as he waits for your answer.
“ill do it.” taeyong’s face lits up in an instant. you however were smiling devilishly, looking down at your prey. “get ready though. im not an easy one.”
taeyong blinks his eyes rapidly. his eyes definitely says he’s intimidated. but his body says otherwise, looking calm and composed.
“i know. itll be fun.” your eyes widen slightly as you see taeyong smirking under his soft smile. you raise your eyebrows and chuckle in amusement.
“oh im sure it will, ty.”
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“you sure that’ll work?” you roll your eyes and rub your temples. you lost count of how many times you have tried to explain the plan to taeyong.
“you said she comes here to have coffee before she picks you up right? she doesnt know we ended early today so we’ll probably run into her. then i’ll just flirt with you or something. just follow my lead.” taeyong nods slowly. 
you shrug your shoulders and let your body sink into the comfortable seat. you and taeyong are at a pretty high class cafe and it felt good to drink some quality tea instead of the cheap ones you have to put up with living as a broke college student.
you drink your tea as you eyed taeyong. he looks anxious, constantly looking out the window and sucking his draw despite his cup already being empty. you groan to catch taeyong’s attention. “you need to chill. have you never flirt with anyone before?” taeyong shakes his head, biting his straw. you gape your mouth and clap your hands.
“no way! you’re good looking. you cant tell me that snobby girl is the only one you ever dated.” 
“she is.”
you choked on your drink, proceeding you laugh hysterically. taeyong furrows his eyebrow. “you better find a better girlfriend once you break up with her ty.” taeyong frowns, running his hand through his silk soft-looking hair. “im not interested in dating.” taeyong mumbles. you only hum in response. 
looking up from taeyong, you see the girl walking down the street, about to enter the cafe. you tapped taeyong’s hand quickly, making him flinch. 
“okay she’s coming, act natural. like how we are now.”
“wait what i-”
you immediately peck his lips to shut him up. taeyong widens his eyes in shock, his body completely frozen at your touch. you smirked widely as you see the girl standing outside, with her eyes filled with anger and her hand clenching into fists tightly. you chuckle in an evil manner. “her she comes.” you whisper in a sing-song tone.
taeyong looks straight at the door as she finally steps into the cafe and stomps over to your table. you smile widely, putting in your innocent act.
“who’s she, tae?” taeyong doesn’t reply, looking at you. you raise both your eyebrows and roll your eyes. slowly, your fingers crawl up to taeyong’s hand on the table, touching his fingers as you jerked your head to her.
“a friend.” taeyong replies simply.
she scoffs. you ran your hand through your hair. “and why are you guys here?”
you click your tongue and chuckle lowly. you look at her, noticing that she’s eyeing you like a prey. clearly she’s jealous right now. with her arms crossed and eyes. you knew.
“we finished quite early actually. you dont mind me hanging out with him, do you? im sure you know he’s new and im his only friend.” you say softly, turning to taeyong and biting your lip seductively. a smirk slowly creeped up taeyong’s mouth. you’re surprised that he suddenly looks confident rather than the first time you two met when he was looking all intimidated and nervous around you.
“yeah, its true.” taeyong winks playfully at you. you only hum in response before looking up to the girl. she furrows her eyebrows in anger.
“hm you wanna hang out with him, right? alright ill leave.” you stand up and shove your phone into your back pocket. as you walk past behind taeyong, you bend down beside him and got close to his ear, acting as if you were whispering something as you stared at the girl. oh the look on her face. you laugh inside your head. you stand up straight and ran your fingers seductively behind taeyong’s shoulders before exiting the cafe. you could have sworn that you heard her growling under her breathe.
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“you should have seen the look on her face!” you laugh crazily, slamming your hand against your thigh and taking another sip of mark’s drink. you were too lazy to buy your own.
“man why didn’t you tell me all this before?! i would have followed you guys and watch the shit go down.” mark whines. you grin widely and shake your head.
“im so sorryy.” you take in deep breathes to calm yourself down.
“taeyong must have been surprised when he sees you go into that mode. i remember the first time you helped me get my parents to not force me to be in relationships after they knew im “dating” someone like you.” mark chuckles.
“well he was shocked at first. but he surprisingly acted well.”
mark nods his head. you sigh as you look around the campus and you see taeyong walking with his headphones on. you smile softly.
“if you’ll excuse me, ill put on my ‘cheating’ role now and go to taeyong. text me alright!” you stand up from your seat and did you signature handshake with mark before speeding over to where taeyong was.
your hand loops around his arm as you pull him close. taeyonh flinches but relaxes when he notice it’s you. “so how did she react?” you ask, walking happily.
taeyong shrugs and takes off his earpiece, unplugging it from his phone and shoving it into his tote bag. “she was definitely jealous. she gave me a lecture on how i shouldnt be with you cuz you looked like a bitch.” you gasp sarcastically, placing your hand on your chest as you gaped your mouth widely. taeyong chuckles at your reaction.
“a bitch? what about her? tsk..” you roll your eyes.
“i can safely assure you that you’re way better than her.” you laugh in response.
“of course i am.” you wink at taeyong. “also what’s her name? you never told me.”
“soyoung. oh by the way.” taeyong stops in his tracks. you stop as well and let your arm off taeyong’s. taeyong digs into his tote bag. after awhile, he pulls out money. you smile almost immediately.
“she gave it to me. in a way to bribe me not to hang out with you.” you lean forward and snatch the money away and counted it. and boy was it a lot of money.
“she’d pay this much for you to stay away from me? she really is a bitch.” you slid the money into your wallet.
“too bad though. she’ll be seeing me with you more often.” you start to walk forward, but you stop and turn your head back. taeyong was standing still and staring at you. you see him snap out of hid thoughts and shake his head before walking towards you.
“sorry about that. let’s go.” you only shrug your shoulders as the two of you walk out of campus.
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“you’re meeting her this sunday?” taeyong nods. you look around taeyong’s apartment. it wasnt big, big enough for two people but he’s the only one lving here. the decor is simple and he place doesn’t look messy. you figured it suited him well.
“we’ll be together before you’re suppose to meet her and have her see us together.”
taeyong widens his eyes and tilts his head. “that’ll be intense.” you raise an eyebrow and chuckle.
“isnt that what cheating is all about, ty?” you shake your head, acting disappointed. you hear him let out a ‘tsk’. you laugh.
“all right. looks like you’re taking me out sunday night. ill dress up.”
“dont you always dress up? your outfits upstages everyone when i see you on campus.”
you peck taeyong’s cheek playfully. taeyong jumps back at your sudden move. you smiled widely.
“you know i always look good.”
you suddenly feel taeyong pulling you and placing you on his lap. you tilt your head in confusion. “what’s this?”
taeyong’s breathing slows down as his eyes glaze your face intensively, as if admiring every inch of it.
“sounds weird but i find you very fucking hot.. its irresistible.” taeyong whispers, raising his hand to twirl a section of your hair around his fingers.
“oh and please book me a grab home. im heading out now so text me aites.” you stand up from the couch and wave to taeyong before leaving his apartment and closing the door.
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as you were waiting for taeyong to pick you up on his motorbike, you look down at your outfit. you’re wearing a really short grey pleated skirt with a white lace bralette and a oversized checkered blazer as an outerwear. you don’t usually wear skirts often, but you did need to play the part of being revealing so as to “attract” taeyong’s attention. you put the quotations on attract but you dont even know if taeyong would be attracted or not. you slightly hoped that he would for some reason.
you see a motorbike coming to a halt. you walk towards it as taeyong gets off. he takes off his helmet, ruffling his hair as he went to the trunk. you blink your eyes rapidly as you’ve never seen taeyong look this good. you snap out of your thoughts when taeyong passed you your helmet. the both of you wear the helmets at the same time as you give way for taeyong to get on the bike. after adjusting a little, taeyong jerks his head to gesture you to get on.
“sit properly if you dont want guys staring at your exposed thighs.” taeyong says, his voice being muffled by the shield of helmet. you pull your down your skirt slightly and rest your hand on your thighs, waiting for him to take off, but he doesn’t.
“put your hands somewhere else. it’s dangerous.”
“ouh right right..” you look at your sides to find any handles to hold onto but there weren’t any. you stare down at his back. shurgging, you wrap your arms around his waist and interlock your fingers togther. taeyong turns his head to you and looks forward before starting the mottorbike and driving. you dont even know where you’re headed but oh well.
after a drive of about 20 minutes, you finally feel the motorbike stop. you look beside you and notice there was a restaurant. a very high class one. you gap your mouth open in disbelief as you get off the bike and take off your helmet.
“you have dates to these places often?” you turn around to face taeyong who sighs and gets close to you to take your helmet, nodding slowly.
you scoff, your eyes scanning the entrance of the place up and down. you feel taeyong’s hand snake around your waist. “let’s not go inside yet.” you raise an eyebrow.
“then where are we going?”
taeyong leads you to the entrance of the restaurant, where there are benches aligned. you nod your head once taeyong take a seat on the bench and sit doen beside him.
“the place is secluded so id normally see people making out around here.” taeyong comments, glancing at his phone to check the time.
“well there’s a bar a few blocks down so i guess that’s why.” you only nod in response, looking in front as you watch the cars drive by. it made you think of one thing. “wait what does her car look like-“
taeyong swiftly wraps his arm around your waist and pull you on his lap. you blink at him as he jerks his head to the back of you. you assume that she arrived. you arch your back and let your hair flow down on one shoulder before wrapping your hands around his neck and pulling him into a deep kiss. taeyong’s grip on your waist tightens as you ran you hand through his hair and tilt your head to deepen the kiss even more. you felt taeyong’s hand roaming from your waist to your thigh, going up and down slowly.
for some reason, you were enjoying it. his lips on yours. you felt his hunger, neediness for you as he held you close as if to claim you’re his. you felt the same nonetheless. you liked it a lot. the two of you knew very well that this isnt acting anymore. it was real. the heat and needy tension. you didnt feel such a thing in a long time.
you suddenly flinch when you felt a hand on your shoulder, pushing you off taeyong’s lap. you turn around. “oh look who’s here! its soyoung.”
“the fuck did i just saw you doing with taeyong?” soyoung pushes you back further.
“i was about to have dinner with taeyong here.. but id figure it would be better to get free appetisers instead of having to pay for one.” you say confidently, brushing your thumb over you bottom lip as your eyes stared into hers.
soyoung scoffs and folds her arms. she looks down at your outfit. “you’ve been trying to seduce taeyong from the very start.” soyoung mutters under her breathe. you tilt your head as you grin widely.
“of course that’s what i’ve been doing idiot. taeyong really enjoys being with me though.” you turn your head to taeyong who was smirking widely and eyeing your outfit hungrily.
soyoung rubs her temples. with no words coming out her mouth, she turn away and walks to her car, getting into the driver’s seat and driving off. you slowly turn your head to taeyong who’s mouth is wide open. you laugh hysterically.
“oh my fucking god that was awesome!” you shout, clapping as you sit back down beside taeyong. taeyong smiles widely. “you really do have it in you.” taeyong compliments. you nudge his arm. “if you say you underestimated me i will beat you up.”
“please do. ruin me. every single moment i spend with you makes me fall and want you more. i love the dangerous side of you,”
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icecreamkink · 3 years
Text
watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 
 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 
wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
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SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  
one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 
BAT WEN NING 
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*
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husberttee · 3 years
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Choice Tag 🌵 🦋 🍀
Rules: Answer the questions (if you want to skip one, feel free to do that too of course!). Tag 3 people (or more or less, you choose really). Tag your post with #CHOICE_tag so we can find each others’ posts! Have fun!!
I got tagged by @slowlydiving thank you so so much I really wanted to take part in this one!!! <3
I'm tagging ... who? @morganasandhya ? are you a choice!??? I'm sorry I can't think of anybody WHO HASNT ALREADY BEEN TAGGED ADHVJLWDH if anybody following me considers themselves a Choice and has in fact NOT been tagged yet please absoloutely go ahead and say i tagged you.
1. Introduce yourself. You choose how much and how little!
Hello!~ I'm Alexander (or Alex. or Husbert as I use on tumblr) and I go by He/They pronouns.
2. How and when did you become a CHOICE?
Oof... so I actually already liked A.C.E predebut since I found their busking videos on YouTube. Back then I didnt know their names and just thought of them as 'guy with the cute smile' (donghun) or 'guy who's clearly just vibing' (Seyoon) or 'guy who knows he's hot shit' (jun) lmaoo.. so it must've been around 2016 that i discovered them? I only properly started stanning them when they actually had their debut though
3. What is your favourite part of being a CHOICE?
I'm actually not super deep in the fandom (so really thanks a lot for tagging me despite that!!!!) but I think overall we're a pretty civil fun little bunch of people who are generally nice to mope around and just simply stanning a wholesome group like a.c.e who continously put out great stuff is the best!
4. What is your favourite A.C.E song? Do you prefer their title tracks or b-sides more?
5. Who’s your bias? What do you like about them?
Oh god why would you ask me this... they don't have any bad songs nnnnnnghhh. I think recently I've been listening to Take Me Higher the most just simply because it fits the season so well? Underrated summer bop! <3 Also Stand by You. Aaaand the Butterfly Phantasy album is my favourite album of theirs generally that one was on repeat for like two weeks straight. bUT THEIR OLDER STUFF IS SO GOOD TOO LIKE SO SICK OR THE ENTIRE UNDER COVER ALBUM OR- cbwjefbhI SHOULDNT HAVE ATTEMPTED TO ANSWER THIS.
I like both their titles and their b-sides pretty equally.
6. What is your favourite thing about A.C.E?
uuuuhhh im a basic bitch so mr. junhee it is. He's 1. very very pretty (especially his smile bYE) 2. heavenly vocals 3. just the right amount of stoopid. 4. seriously what is he so handsome for.
Originally it was Donghun and I still regularily get wrecked by the rest of the groups so yeah they're just Like That
It's hard to pin point one favourite thing cause there's so many things.. It might sound funny but I like that they're only 5 guys and not 50 lmaoo. I also think they're one of the most well rounded groups out there. The full package of people who are genuinly skilled in vocals, rap and dance. Their concepts are always creative, their choreos are amazing and satisfying to watch and they all have great stage presence. And then they're ALSO funny and generally just. seem really nice and authentic? like they don't seem fake but they know to keep their private lives. well. private. good for them!!
7. Which concept has been your favourite? What kind of concept do you want them to try?
8. Which A.C.E friendship is your favourite? Which one do you want to see more of?
Another difficult one to answer. I like to call them concept kings cause they've really been putting out interesting stuff only from the beginning- Favourite boys definitely was super cool because I always love a traditional note like the hanbok or even in the sound (golden goose!!!) but I'll also never get over the Cactus hotpants. I want them back.
They can probably pull anything off really.... maybe something steam punky would be cool? its not a concept thats been done too often and they would definitely find a way to put an a.c.e spin on it.
I really like JunChan antics. Just a Fool trying to look after another slightly younger Fool. We love to see it. But besides that I can't really think of a dynamic I'm missing? Since they're only 5 they all seem really close :]
9. If you could tell A.C.E one thing what would you tell them?
Look after yourselfs and don't worry too much. Let's stay together for a long time! and Thank You!
10. Which A.C.E member would die first in a horror movie?
yeah uuuuuhhh r.i.p Junhee :/
11. Leave a small message for your fellow CHOICE!
Since I'm very multifandom i've seen my fare share of crazy so I really appreciate how chill and nice this small community is and I'd love to get to know more of you guys~ I hope we can keep this up even as the fandom grows, which for the boys sake I really wish to happen!
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cynozurka · 3 years
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My notes from watching bo Burnhams inside when I thought it would be a good idea to just write about every song /bit xd
Fixing the world w comedy
I mean it was fine
Some good points
Self aware and all
How oppressors will do performative activism
But also contextualised with his persona its a bit weird
is he scared of becoming that or is he already that
Like he IS doing a bit here and I know that It factors into the whole self awareness debuckle but idk it's a bit iffy to me
Also not really productive i think (yeah I know that's not the point but let me ramble)
You can still educate through comedy and you can do both actually
BECAUSE NEWS FLASH YEAH YOU C A N USE YOUR PRIVELEGE TO HELP AND IT DOESN'T HELP ANYONE THAT YOU THINK IT'S SELFISH
Like idk i understanding where he is coming from but perpetuating that mindset isn't really helpful imo
Facetiming with mom
Too little i think? I mean a fine little song but didn't get much from it
* making a profound experience out of a superficial face time with mom but maybe it has actually become profound, how little we speak to our family kinda, deep shit*
But that's kinda? Known? And not really nuanced at all?
That's how the world works
Well I really liked that one
Bo shows how it depends on the oppressed to be polite to their oppressors (using those terms loosely, the class with power and the powerless etc) to have a slightest chance to be listened to
Like that was a nicely done bit
Also I maybe a bit of critism to "socko" for the not considering educating the character, maybe I'm reading to much into it
I was pleasantly surprised because I thought the special would be kinda epty with half statements and nothing said explicitly
Tho the joke in the contrast of a sock puppet /a children's character telling something unexpected or dark does scream millennial humor
The brand thing
Good but I think it's been done many times before
White woman's ig song
Cool, like the white woman's Instagram concept seems a bit 2017 but it's well done,
Couple interpetations
1how we only show good sides of our life on social media
That one is honestly too simple, been done many times, obvious
2How priveleged for example an American white woman owing the Instagram is not knowing this (is this heaven), the Instagram is very status quo with performative activism, "normal" is priveleged
The bit about the mom either
About venting on social media/furthering the theme that life isn't perfect (basic)
Or
Humanizing, the white woman is still a person
We shouldnt antagonize priveleged people just because (it's actually important to have them on our side, the revolution is about destroying the class divide not creating more (that interpretation is generous tho)
Anyway the song is fine but I felt it could've said more and was a bit style over substance
About the theme of shutting up
Kinda? I mean I understand? But also not really it's important to exchange ideas and that everyone can do it imo, like I think it's a good social change that we can freely (well debatable) say our opinions but maybe it just went in a misquided way and it's just an illusion of everyone telling their opinions when we're still talking about like western world but I might be going to far but I think I know what he's getting at but also hhhhhh
The format of the reaction video seemed a bit condescending at first but I actually find it compelling mostly because I struggle with the same stuff and the cycle of self awareness is very familiar to me and the coping mechanism of saying you know you suck because then you feel you have an advantage over the people who would say that to you but it's not healthy to do that and you're also self aware of that
Bezos
I mean sure
I get it
You can say it had to be short to be punchy and it was just a transition
But also could've been more
Maybe I just prefer essays to poems
When he's laying on the floor and talking abt exploiting children and end with the statement of being horny idk didn't sit right with me I guess we can interpret that as the duality of man kinda thing where the world is so complicated yet we are simple creatures but idk it felt kinda invalidating just the vibe of the bit
A lot of my reactions was kinda like yeah no shit you aren't inventing the weel here
Sexting
As an asexual person it didn't really concern me
Felt outdated and too little and maybe a little not nuanced?
Like sure there were some good observations but also it was a bit too little again i think
Being funny stuck in a room sing
Fine, wanting to be seen as a kid but not as an adult because being seen can be dangerous
I think that was cool
But also idk it's not that funny or clever for me when he shows that he's taking multiple takes, wow who whouve thought people do that
Problematic
I feel nothing about it
I don't want to feel anything about it
Why the belly button close ups tho
The 30 thing
Really sad but also we know it's a performance so it felt a bit weird
The song was fun but like yeah not much said, again, we all know
Welcome to the internet
I mean sure again no shit
But it's a nice song
That funny feeling was very enjoyable actually
Anyway the overall performance is good, it's art and all but also I'm kinda done but also I think I am judging this differently than his previous songs and my judgment is harsher, like they're fine in the grand scheme of things
it was good, sometimes mediocre, overall probably very good and i hated it
not because it hit hard, it didnt really, nothing suprised me, it was just personally uneccassary for me to go through this
But also that's a very personal perspective and I understand how it can be good to other people
Also bo is a big comedian so good that he's talking about stuff like the bit with the sock
Anyway I need a break
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tomcriuse · 3 years
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hi payton!! i love your "congratulations" gifset so much, especially the font choices and how well they work together! could you please give some tips on choosing appropriate fonts, their colours and some favourite ones of yours? hope this is not a bother!
asfjdhfasd this is absoulutely no bother!!!!! and also STOP thank u i love u <3 im gonna put this under the cut bc idk how long this is gonna be
i think that chosing appropriate fonts really depends on what you're going for! congratulations, for example, is a very upbeat song with lyrics that arent like particularly sad (and thus the set isnt going to be very sad), if that makes any sense--you can get away with a lot more when it comes to the fonts. like, if i had done it's quiet uptown, i probably wouldn't have used some of the fonts and typography styles that i did, just because it wouldnt fit the mood of the set! typically, for sad sets, i stick to a cursive or handwritten font. however, in this case, because of the nature of the song, i just kinda messed around!! 
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so like for this gif i was thinking about what words have the most impact/are emphasised when she sings it. to me, the biggest part of this is the "school-yard taunts" bc it like really roasts him and calls him a child basically, so i knew that i wanted those to stand out the most. for the less important/smaller text i usually use a font like arial (i'll put a list of my favourite fonts at the end of this!) or times new roman or something just pretty lowkey. the "school-yard" font is actually also times new roman, but i really liked the way that it looked when it was bigger (also, for cohesion, i felt like i shouldnt do more cursive on this one since the gif above it had cursive in it). 
the word "taunts" was a little more difficult for me to find a font for because i thought it might look a little odd if i was using the same cursive font for this word--like it would just look a little out of place since "school-yard" is pretty thick. so basically what i did is i just went through all the cursive fonts that i had and one by one saw how it looked. im sure there are easier ways, but i find that im always the most satisfied with my sets when i take time to really think about the choice im gonna make, and not just rush through it!! 
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lets take the first gif for example as well! i REALLY really love the main font on this, so i knew that i wanted to use it for the main emphasis word/phrase! after that it was trying to find a good font to compliment it! i thought a sans-serif font looked a little messy i guess? or kinda hard to read? im not sure how to explain it, but it looked wrong to me. so i just picked the basic times new roman! 
 i think that a big thing about picking suitable fonts is that they really have to compliment each other and not detract from one another!! this is why i think it's easy to pick a couple words or a phrase and make that your "center" of the typography!! 
as for colours, i usually pick the colours AFTER i colour the gif!! the first gif i made in this set was actually the second one (a damage you can never undo kind of stupid), so i was trying to find a colour that complimented it that i could also replicate in the other gifs, hence the yellow colour! the same thing can be seen in this set that i did (even though i used gradients instead of solid colour)! i decided that since the scenes i was using had orange/yellow and blue as their primary colours, i would base the colouring off of the scene (and if i couldnt, then i would change the colours fdhahdf).
here are some of my favourite fonts!! and if you click on the names it takes you to the download :) 
cursive fonts 
darkfather: this is the main cursive font i used in this set 
kunstler script: i dont really use this font much, but i think im gonna start because its just clean 
rage (italic): this is a little messier than the above font so it just has more chaotic vibes idk 
 sans-serif 
franklin gothic (bold): this is the main sans-serif font that i used in this set!!! 
arial: very basic but very Clean 
eras light itc: this is actually one of my favourite fonts (i used it as the main font in the "you took a rumour" and refuted it by sharing an affair"!!) 
serif (i dont really use serif fonts much because it doesnt look as clean to me BUT)
times new roman: a classic and the only one on this list 
i really hope this helped!! please dont hesitate to reach out again if you wanna know anything else or just want more info!!!!!!!!! i love u
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gift-of-orzhova · 3 years
Text
Favorite Music 2020
As usual I made a playlist with my top 10 favorite songs, you can find that here. I’ll also be linking each song or album as I go. It was a weird year but at least there was some good music to help us through.
Favorite Album The Grand Mirage - Robotaki I’ve been a Robotaki fan for a bit now, he’s previously released some EPs which I enjoyed, but this is his first album, and there are a lot of stand out songs. His production has a lot of fun texture to it, although a lot may fall into the future bass / pop genres, his sound is very distinct. His style is jazz inspired melodies with clean drums and just the right amount of crunch dropped into the mix. The album has a great diversity in the tracks from the future bass instrumentals to more straight forward pop and hip hop tracks. The album feels very organic, and not just in the instrumentation but also in the delivery, There’s no force here, just flow. Can’t wait to hear what he has in store for us next, and also to go see him live (again) when he is able to tour for this album.
Favorite EP ALL OUT - K/DA I want to preface this pick by saying that I hate Riot as a company and refuse to play League of Legends. But man there is something so cool about the premise of “league characters made a kpop group” and holy shit does the Riot music department knock it out of the park. Two years ago when POP/STARS came out I remember being an instant fan. I always hoped they would do more (pun intended), but didnt know if or when that might happen. Apparently this year was the answer. This EPs production is clean as hell, and the K/DA sound font is probably one of my favorites. Although I did have to warm up to this EP a little, I found myself playing it on repeat for a couple weeks. I think some of the lyrics feel a little forced, or maybe like they’re trying to hard to be hip but I also this it works really well. Looking past the facade of league characters, I think it’s also worth noting that the vocal performances across this album are incredible. Props to everyone involved. I’ll talk about the music video later.
Other Notable Albums and EPs The Making of a Paracosm - Kasbo Kasbo is back at it again. Great album, although I found myself liking the first half the album a lot more than the second half. There’s a couple songs on here I dont really vibe with, but there’s also some seriously incredible ones. I overall like Places We Don’t Know better, this album still definitely deserves some recognition. Pure - Glacci Glacci is so underrated. He makes this super energetic UK garage kinda stuff. The sound is super unique and I really love it. I’ll never get tired of that lead and the catchy melodies it plays. Moon Tear - Raito My favorite techno to come out this year for sure. Raito is just so good. Techno had a lot of good stuff this year from Raito, i_o, and Calvin Harris so this was a close call. Brave - Joyryde I always love hearing the combination of hip hop and edm. Joyryde really set the standard with this album, and I hope there is more at some point in time. If you like this one definitely check out the new UZ album as well. Dreamland - Glass Animals Really great pop album. The lyric “big dicks and bigger titties on the side” is honestly just a whole mood. AM 444 - i_o, Lights I felt the need to include this one in particular. i_o had some good releases this year with this one and revolution being my favorites. Wish I would be able to hear more of him in the future. This goes without saying I think but if you ever feel suicidal please talk to someone. And please check in on your friends from time to time, you never know what they’re struggling with. Rest in peace friend, I’ll always love your music.
Top 10 Songs 1. Holding On - Dabin This one came out right at the beginning of the year, not too long after he released an album. Caught me a little by surprise, I actually felt hesitant to listen at first because his album left such a sour taste in my mouth (even though I really liked some of the songs on it). But damn am I glad I checked it out. Played this song on repeat for like 2 weeks (including a trip to NYC early on in the year where this song was the only thing I played on the entire drive lmao). Can never go wrong with huge melodic chords and a good female vocal.
2. Something Comforting - Porter Robinson Oh man I am excited for Nurture to be released. I wasn’t huge on Get Your Wish (it did grow on me though), but this song fucking slaps. I love this shit. Can’t wait to go to the first Porter show within 300 miles of me after vaccines are widely distributed and shows start back up.
3. MORE - K/DA This is one of those songs where I feel like you have to talk about the music video with it or you are missing a big piece of the work. And holy shit the music video is fucking sick. They must have spent the whole fucking budget on this video. The animation is so good, the aesthetic was absolutely nailed. Pair this with a catchy song with clean production and there you go.
4. No More (Devault Remix) - DJ Snake, Devault Holy fuck Devault, this shit slaps
5. Limitless - Glacci My favorite Glacci song this year wasnt even from his album, it was from a random 2 song EP he dropped. Anyway this song is just super fun.
6. Play Pretend - Kasbo The first single from the album and also my favorite song from it, although Shut the World Out is a very close second. This song makes me happy.
7. Hollow Tips - Effin Sable Valley is such a good label, they just consistently have the best new trap music around. This is not the song off their Summer Vol. 1 I thought I was going to be obsessed with but with the amount of quality music they released I shouldnt be surprised it’d be something brand new.
8. Something From Nothing - Robotaki This song is so good, the long instrumental part at the end makes me transcend every time.
9. 1000 Miles - Machinedrum, Sub Focus I really need to listen to more liquid dnb. This song and Get Through by Rameses B are really good and I need to find more stuff like them.
10. Can’t get you out of my mind - Dreamcatcher This song sounds like a classic from 2005 but it actually came out this year and it’s so good. I have distinct memories of jumping around my apartment at 3 am listening to this song.
That’s all for this year, but if you like these pics and want more of the stuff I really like, here is another playlist that I fill with all of my favs. Here’s to a good 2021 for music.
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ultimatestellar · 4 years
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Mikuuuuuuu eheehee
send me a character!!
miku miku oo ee oo. in my attempt to find more interests ive been getting really into vocaloid lately so good timing!!
favorite thing about them:
miku sounds!! so!! good!!! theres a reason shes cryptons mascot vocaloid. honestly if you can tune her well it can end up a masterpiece. and also just how much people care about her. the best thing about vocaloid is how much our favorite producers and really just the fanbase cares and makes us love these characters!! vocaloid as a concept comes down to what the community makes of it and the community has made me love miku.
also she pretty
least favorite thing about them:
please..... let me like more then 2 characters with canon personalities...... i can only make so many headcanons...........
eh who am i kidding i can always make more headcanons. but it is kinda annoying having every iteration of her be different (even if that is the whole point). but as long as i brush it off as “oh its just them performing” im cool with it :))
favorite line:
oh fuck i have to choose?? i dont have a list of miku quotes what am i supposed to say?? honestly you can choose a random wowaka song and id say youre right.
pinnochiop has some really good lines too but they arent as impactful and more just a mood.
brOTP:
her and len. her and len. her and len. or her and kaito but mostly her and len because those two can and will vibe check you
OTP:
mikurin!! because i found out the age difference between her and luka and went “oh shit i didnt realize i was supporting this” and went to find a new ship. turns out mikurin is canon in the project diva universe!! point being i got sucked in very quickly and these two are just so cute together,,,
nOTP:
shipping her with meiko. i just see meiko as an adult and miku is quite literally my age so i guess makes sense?? idk i have vocaloid ships that i hate much more cough cough rin x len cough so i cant hate on anything else too much.
random headcanon:
miku loves sweaters. she never gets to wear them because crypton is like YOU MAY ONLY WEAR REVEALING OUTFITS SO PEOPLE BUY YOUR MERCH but when she gets any free time she will immediately get an oversized sweater and just vibe. maybe with a movie playing. and popcorn. and rin. and rin and her start throwing popcorn at eachother during a really serious scene and ruin the movie but its okay cause they had fun which is what really matters to them and—
i guess a bonus one: since theyre androids they cant experience a lot of the stuff theyre singing about (darker stuff like losing a loved one or something as simple as food) so miku especially will look at the lyrics and try VERY HARD to imagine what all this would actually feel like. being virtual has its downsides yall!!
unpopular opinion:
other vocaloids deserve more attention, but that doesnt mean miku is overrated!! shes good and deserves the hype and just because others do as well but dont get it doesnt mean she shouldnt have it either.
song i associate with them:
...really?
ill just list off the best miku songs i can think of.
to start us off, rolling girl. because of course https://youtu.be/NIqm73xsias
youtube
white happy. this has been one of my favorite vocaloid songs for ages. i dont know if thisll just sound like im trying to be edgy or whatever but i really do feel like this is how i view the world but written out in all its optimistic nihilism glory and i LOVE IT. it even has my self worth issues down!! wow look at that this song is all of my problems wrapped up in a happy little tune!!! https://youtu.be/k_WT2x9we0Q okay maybe this one is my favorite
youtube
whats inside. as said before pinnochiops songs are all just honest and as a result this song especially is just a mood. https://youtu.be/GSpwTvYgFrM
youtube
liar dance!! i just think it sounds good. i couldnt find a good english sub but its probably written on the wiki https://youtu.be/FOvfM0fe-FE
youtube
world is mine. i dont have to explain this one. https://youtu.be/KMHXgUr7gYM
youtube
favorite picture of them:
no way am i going to try and pick ONE miku module when so many of them are equally pretty, so instead heres a picture of her i use as a reaction image sometimes!!
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and thats it!!
thanks for sending an ask ninashiki, u the best ;))
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teruthecreator · 4 years
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2, 6, and 12 for the 3 songs asks?
hey, guess who forgot u sent this? i did! hgbrjbgjbrhg anyway so 
2. three last songs you listened to 
well the song i’m listening to rn as i write this is CHERRY BOMB by Tyler the Creator, off the album of the same name! fair warning, if you go to that link and you’re wearing headphones, it is advised you turn it Wayyyyyyyy down as this song will likely snipe ur eardrums if not. idk why i’ve recently become so obsessed w this bop, but it blends this like harsh, grating bass with these beautiful little soft moments and this like beat that just feels so Confrontational im just….hhhhh it’s Good. i recommend highly, i just suggest you turn it down. 
after that it’s THE BROWN STAINS OF DARKEESE LATIFAH PART 6-12 (Remix) by Tyler the Creator, off the Cherry Bomb album. i have No Idea what the title means, but this is just a hands-down bop and vibe. the beat is funky and like the little synth noises in the back are just interesting, and the cuts between the little bridges and the verses is so jarring but also it works?? idk i really like tyler, the creator,,, 
and the last one is Say So by Doja Cat off her most recent album Hot Pink! doja is just kinda iconic on her own, but this song is funky and has those sexy vibes she’s always going for, and i just fucks w it real hard man!! it slaps!! she’s also Incredibly Pretty so like yep yep uh huh ill listen to your music you are Very Pretty. also everyone thinks she says “hot and moaning” in one of the chorus lyrics, and i had to look on genius to check (it’s not, but you can hear that phrase if ur looking for it AND hear the actual lyric if ur looking for it. i found that very funny.) 
6. three songs you wish you could erase from history (because they’re terrible) 
can i be honest here??? can i sit down and just be real w yall?? i don’t think i’ve ever heard a song that’s, like, Objectively terrible. it might be because my scope is extremely limited (since i find my favorites and then just listen to those for the rest of Time), or because i can find musical merit in even genres i’m not an active fan of. but i don’t think any song i’ve ever heard i’ve ever been like “oh, this is Awful and should never exist!” like if someone tells me an album is bad, i tend to stay away from it anyway, so it’s not like i can have an opinion of it Myself (bc i trust my friends music tastes but that doesn’t necessarily mean the album shouldnt Exist). also i’ll watch anthony fantano’s reviews and sort of decide if something piques my interest and seems to have critical merit enough to check out, but most of the time i watch reviews for albums i’m already a Huge Fan of (coughcoughIGORcoughcough). but…yeah! i don’t have an answer for this one! 
12. three favourite songs from video games 
Fallen Down from Undertale by Toby Fox. hands down, this is The Best song on the entire soundtrack, and i will defend that to my dying days. if you want to be transported to the fondest, rustic, most tender and emotional memories of places you’ve never even Been To, you listen to this song. if you’ve never felt the gentle embrace of a parental figure after you’ve had a nightmare, you listen to this song. if you want to cry your eyes out over the time lost in your life already, you listen to this song. if you want to think of World’s Best Mom, Toriel Dreemurr, You Listen To This Song. i once had a full-on out of body Experience playing Minecraft and playing this song on loop. this song is fucking amazing, Megalovania can suck my whole ass 
SPEAKING OF SONGS THAT WILL MAKE YOU EMOTIONAL, BUT ALMOST IN THE ENTIRELY OPPOSITE (BUT NOT RLLY) SENSE, Vs. Susie from Deltarune by Toby Fox gives you the instinct to rock out but also Cry at the same exact fucking time!!! how does this man keep doing it!!! i think i might be a Little biased bc susie is my absolute favorite character from Deltarune (and maybe even the whole franchise, if im being honest), but just that crooning guitar rift towards the end is so telling of her emotional state during this point of the game and every time i replay deltarune i just have to let this song play out a couple times bc its Such a short scene. i really hope this theme comes back when the full game gets released, it is an absolute bop and a heart-puller. 
last but not least, my absolute favorite banger from a game series is…. ASSGORE (Fingerfückung) by BotanicSage, using the songs ASGORE and Bergentrückung from Undertale by Toby Fox. yes, i’ve linked the original song, not the MMD bc i feel like this video deserves more love (the orig. has like 100k views and the MMD has over a million Come On People). on a serious note, the Undertale songs he samples from are definitely up there on my favorites from Undertale, but paired with the extra samples and the lyrics?? this is just God Tier. and the fact that this song was made out of Pure Spite is just the cherry on top. i Live for spiteful art!!! i want more of it!!! it’s great!!! we need more Fingers In His Ass!! 
(also if you’re wondering why all my favorite game songs are from undertale…………fuck you thats why jgbhjrbghjhrgh) 
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.
youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?
lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely
suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside
ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then
THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?
also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well
<3 w.a. 🐺
answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH
oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.
hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.
i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.
WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.
for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.
cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D
thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s
domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.
ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.
the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.
sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?
silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.
secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +
STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,
red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O
surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?
gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.
wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.
and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN
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dressedupkiss · 3 years
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86 days
Until March 1st, spring month.
I’m super looking forward to getting to know Mother Nature up close and personal in all sorts of different ways once the snow melts and the new growth flourishes.
I have some dried mugwort and dream herb right now, also some bay leaves and Egyptian flower, and I smudge with them and they make me feel really at home and good in my home.
I picked some needle branches off a pine tree earlier and I burned it in my home and it smelled nice and citrusy. I like blessing my home with plants and rocks I find around the city and soak up the nature and good vibes it offers.
I find quiet time and silent contemplation to be a big part of my life, I don’t have many people bothering me to hang out often so I have a lot of time to myself. I don’t mind it because I’m good company but sometimes I feel very alone. My best friend Joel has been staying over for the past week and she has a dog too so I’ve had nice company lately. Yesterday and today we kind of started to get sick of each other and sort of argue a bit because it’s such a small apartment we are cramped in here.
But it’s okay cuz they are leaving tomorrow night to stay with different friends and I will see them eventually again to hang out. I wonder how many time until March I will see them. Sometimes a whole month goes by and I don’t see them again. Sometimes longer. I’m gonna keep track of how often they want to hang out with me before march. Probably won’t see them much for the rest of this month of December because of christmas and they are having to find a new apartment.
So in January they will be busy moving in and then maybe at the end of January they will ask to hang out but I don’t know. We could have our fill of each other for a while. I’m gonna try to not text them very often as to not bother them, and I’m gonna spend a lot of time getting to know Mother Nature and the trees around me better to keep me company.
I sometimes wish I had someone close to me like a girl I’m dating so I could have more sensual moments more often but if I have to be alone for a few more months and get to know my own personal frequencies then so be it. I will always be alone no matter who I meet unless I fall in love with a soul mate and that would be a huge experience worth waiting for.
I know I need to gather my powers and earn strength through nature this next year and be positive and influence the world with love, so being alone a lot isn’t a burden. It’s a freedom. I will be able to go for nature walks as often as I want, always have my free money and spend it on fruits and veggies and healthy things.
I like spending time with Joel because they are spirit family, her and her dog George, they are soul family to me and we have a very close bond. In recent years I have had intense negative emotions sometimes and nobody to listen to me so people call me crazy sometimes because they don’t know how to deal with my emotions. I never act out or hurt anyone but I get palpably angry and I silently calmly deal with it and I guess that weirds people out. Joel has been cautious about me before and I get some backlash about my behaviour but in my world I’m very sacred and calm and appropriate so it bothers me that people think there’s a problem with me when I’m doing a good job at dealing with my present situation.
I am strong and able and fit and connected to nature and I’m healthy and free. I have a great freedom in being me because I chose to not work for my life. I chose to live and gather and live with not much but with everything. I feel blessed in that I have a connection to the great soul of earth and all her babies and I feel fairies and orbs and I can sense dead spirits and I can control erratic energies to calm down and be peaceful.
I feel grateful for the love in my chest and the peace I feel in my body. I have a lot of energy for exercise and breathing deep, and I’m not on the internet much and I eat really well. I feel lucky to have the opportunities I have and not to have to work right now. Not working is such a stress relief and I know I need it.
When I imagine nature I feel her right here like I’m climbing a tree or feeling the river water even though I’m laying in my bed. My visions are so real and good.
12 weeks 2 days til March. That’s not too bad. 3 months, December January February.
It should go by pretty fast. I’m not looking forward to how cold January and February will be. I’ll be holed up in my apartment with my plant material and fire, I’ll be exercising with weights somewhat and going for short walks when it’s sunny days. It’s still pretty nice out right now, it’s been sunny for the past 4 days and I really appreciate that light.
I feel very connected to the sun and trees lately and the birds that fly by my window. Magpies are so smart and I know they feel blessings from me. I’m so happy and thankful the animals pay attention to me and I hear their love.
I often imagine shamans and sorcerers out there who do magic and protection blessings and peace offerings, I want to meet someone who does magic so I can further my shamanic life and learn about more plant spirits.
I feel lucky to be alive the way I am. My brain doesn’t overthink and I have a lot of peace and quiet in my life. I don’t have a brain full of useless information and in fact I don’t have much information in my brain at all. I learn in feeling and emotion, not in fact and knowledge. I learn in wisdom and peace instead of by memorizing things. I don’t have a lot to contribute to regular conversation but if it is more passionate speak inspired by love I have a lot more to say.
I like being a feeler and healer. I love learning in vibe and feeling rather than how they taught me in school. I have school dreams a lot where I just have one more class in high school to complete until I’m done and I always hate that I have to be there. I never want to go to school again and I’ve already been forced to take post secondary stuff a few years ago and I didn’t do anything with the courses.
I don’t have a drive to work or learn, I don’t believe in how we are taught in my country and I don’t trust many white people to teach me something that will matter to me. I only trust shamans and spiritual people who are grounded and healthy and powerful to know something to help me. But at the same time I don’t know anyone like that except my best friend and she is a great two spirited support to me. My life is experimenting in my youth and learning my own way. I don’t depend on a city or on simple interaction. I need special sacred specific help and I only get it from my bff so I really don’t need anyone’s help but nature.
I feel strong in myself and my own abilities. I don’t have mental stress or issues. I’m physically healthy and proud of being strong and connected to nature. I breathe deeply each day and soak in the sunshine. I get my nature in and make sure I’m balanced. I don’t overdo it with weed or smudging, I fast properly from food and plants and rocks, I use things only when it is proper and needed. I’m very good at living with very little and being grateful for every little thing. The universe takes care of me and I feel that.
I feel like i am a wild animal and I am studying myself my whole life. I’m excited to die because I know it will be freeing and my power of dream will be expressed so fully and I won’t feel bored or bogged down by confusion. I’m excited to learn a lot in my life. So far I have learned to be gentle, quiet, soft, passionate, determined to survive, strong willed, I’ve learned to feel a lot and express myself in song. I haven’t learned how to conversate with many people or exchange knowledge. I don’t have a lot of knowledge to share with the world but I have feeling and beauty to express.
I am like a flower and not like a human. I smell good and I’m soft and delicate and I don’t speak much but I’m listened to silently.
I like silence and peace. I don’t like a lot of stimulation. I don’t like to be talked at. I don’t like conversation sometimes. I like stillness and connection to the universe. I think a lot of people judge others and think they’re better than others and they’re setting an example for others to follow to better themselves. I think that’s rude cuz we should focus on how there are so many beautiful people trying hard to do beautiful things for the world and struggle is merely an issue of focus. People need to be reminded that everyone is here doing the same thing and we are all equal and good doing what we do. Hippies aren’t better than anyone and they shouldn’t act like it.
Doing a lot doesn’t mean you did a lot. Being present and silent means the world to the universe. Working yourself to the bone doesn’t prove you’re living right. Living relaxed and open to opportunity is good. We shouldnt stress out about life because spending all your time outside means you’re healthier and everyone is right where they should be. I have a free home cuz I gave up everything and accepted my freedom.
I feel lucky to be so free. I’m glad to be alive the way I am. I haven’t put up with abuse and I receive help and assistance to live properly.
I’m lucky to be here this way.
I have everything I need. I’m beautiful and healthy and in love with myself.
I will be a great addition to some beautiful girls world some day and my life will change and flourish. Til then I have myself to heal and experience and my bff for company every now and then. I have enough. Life is good to me.
I hope all who reads this has a blessed day and finds something fun to do. Thanks.
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my highlights list of Owl City songs
maybe you’ve only heard like “fireflies” and you dont have shit taste and aren’t a coward and so you’ve always hoped i’d make a list of imo extra standout owl city songs; maybe i just wanted to make something like this list even though i didnt try that hard to cut it down and it would change every day and i dont think i dislike any of his songs and could give reasons why i especially like some element of pretty much each of them
Assuming Everyone’s Also Heard: VANILLA TWILIGHT (Ocean Eyes), GOOD TIME (The Midsummer Station) they’re both amazing. vanilla twilight is intense and good for when you’re looking at a nice sunset and feeling brave. shaq is in the music video. that carly rae jepsen and adam young happened to team up was a great move by whoever initiated it, and good time is iconic, and there’s a version where carly rae jepsen is also singing the chorus and its better but i dont really know how to search for it in particular because its otherwise identical
***HELLO SEATTLE*** (Ocean Eyes) this was on the radio too so it couldve gone in the above section but it needs its own. im not sure i’d say this is officially my favorite owl city song but if someone hadnt heard anything by owl city this is the one i’d choose to represent his entire vibe and be the first impression. and you’d think nobody could possibly remix it but adam young himself did and its fantastic and relatable even though the only lyrics are the occasional words “hello seattle.” technically the first version of this song is on the album “of june” and theyre both good but i like the ocean eyes version best
DESIGNER SKYLINE (Of June) the most upbeat song on the album probably. adam young is very very good at lyrics and some elements of this include his imagery, rhythm, alliteration, wordplay, and general ability to make the words in a song both euphonic in the sound along but also be very Pretty content wise. ok im most serious about how good he is with lyrics so maybe i’ll be more concise after this one
FUZZY BLUE LIGHTS (Of June) owl city songs aren’t depressing or even really Sad even when they’re sad (w/ some exceptions…cough silhouette) but they’re good if you are / have been a Sad Person Who Lives In Their Head because thats what a lot of the songs are about / the perspective theyre from. this one sounds like that and also like an overcast day
***IF MY HEART WAS A HOUSE*** (Ocean Eyes) the Best love song of the whole discography imo. it goes hard as fuck. i don’t date but for the duration of this song i have a gf/bf/nb-f
THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG (Ocean Eyes) one of the best and another one of the best love songs. im especially partial to the winter theme now o course. this super cool thing happens in the middle with amazing lyrics and this volume effect. the instrumental versions of this and if my heart was a house are also killer
ANGELS (All Things Bright And Beautiful) adam young loves jesus a whole lot; this song is about literal christian angels. i love the alliteration of the lines “in the dust on the cellar staircase / a pair of footprints followed me / i saw a flicker in the fake fireplace”. not many owl city songs are from both an upbeat perspective AND have upbeat music, and this one’s chorus really goes for it. adam y.’s pretty excited about jesus stuff i think and so when he channels that in songs especially about jesus, it’s pretty energetic. but for the most part his songs arent overtly christian save maybe some passing references, so if thats a concern dont worry
***GALAXIES*** (ATBAB) for example, this one definitely has a jesus line. but this is just one of the references to an unspecified “he” which means it could also just be interpreted as gay. (owl city belongs to the gays btw) and this really is a song to go ham to and listen to it with stereo speakers because one of my fave parts relies on that. the intro is a bit jarring because the outro of “january 28, 1986” is meant to transition into this one
DEMENTIA (The Midsummer Station) i’d put this as a highlight but recognize its coz its a personal fave. it sounds like it would be incredibly depressing of course but it has nothing to do with actual dementia thank god. it’s a love song and very upbeat in both sound and content. i’m hugely partial to the lyrics, especially the pairs “every light in the night flickered in and out / every bone in my back shivered up and down”; “every voice in my head shouted yes and no / every freight train of thought fought to stop and go”; “every tear in my eyes dripped and wouldn’t drop / every disc in my spine shook and couldn’t stop” and “every hand let me go that i tried to hold / every warm-hearted love left me freezing cold”
KISS ME BABE, IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME (single) he has a bunch of random christmas singles and this ones the best. the titles ridiculous and i love it, and the song isn’t really about anything and i love it. it is such a bop. “peppermint winter” and “humbug” are the other best xmas ones
SHOOTING STAR (Midsummer) half the songs on this album are summery dancey songs about having fun with other people (usually owl city songs are about being lonely or having fun with one other person tops by cloudwatching, so this album is unusual in that regard and rocks out a bit which is also unusual as per owl city’s tendency to sound really dreamy or otherwise fairly light. it bothers people who are in the “the old stuff is better” camp of everything) and the other half are upbeat summery songs that are encouraging and tell you you’re a good and special person. this one is the latter and a lot of fun. i like the lyrics and melody of the lines “fan a flame so hot it melts our hearts” and “let your colors burn and brightly burst / into a million sparks that all disperse / and illuminate a world that’ll try to bring you down” (but not this time)
GOLD (Midsummer) same category song as above (title refers to “i know you’re gold”). it’s great and sung to a person about to go off and do something and you’re telling them they can totally do it because they’re great. i maintain that one of the Owl City Signature Moves is The Affectionate Sigh: he’s very good at working in words sung with a rising/falling tone, a la a sigh, and its an upbeat delivery not like a “im sad” sigh. when it happens in this song is my favorite part of the whole thing, at the end of the line: “you’ll never be far, i’m keeping you near, inside of my heart, you’re he^re”
BEAUTIFUL TIMES (Ultraviolet EP) the songs on ultraviolet all have a super cool sound, kind of mixing the more loud/layered/noisy quality of midsummer station with the more introverted vibe he usually has, and are all kind of about being stressed and sad but looking to something or someone and kind of seeing a chance to feel okay. “this isn’t the end” is completely about a girl who’s dad kills himself but it has the really good line “you fight to survive cuz you made it this far” and otherwise has a technically uplifting end but without much of the “you shouldnt kill yourself because life is magical” bs which is useless and irrelevant imo but instead the “life is chaotic and you cant say the future is going to be good but it exists and meanwhile you’re not dead yet” which is an infinitely more thoughtful approach. but anyways, about beautiful times: its also about being happy but usually being really sad (“this fight of my life is so hard (so hard, so hard) but i’m gonna survive, oh oh these are beautiful times,”) and also isnt very patronizing about the subject (the prospect/aspiration of feeling happy when you’re a Sad Person) and frames everything in having had damagingly negative feelings while still being overall positive. i really like the way he sings into the first few verses with an echo of what will be the first couple of words, overlapping slightly and growing in volume before taking you right into the actual start of the verse. this is the most upbeat sounding song of the EP imo
THUNDERSTRUCK (Mobile Orchestra) the intro alone is killer. one of the most Go Hard to songs of the owl city discography. proudly carries the tradition of singing about ghosts (see: plant life, a fun-to-sing-along-to song all about an actual haunted house)
BACK HOME (Mo Orch) this album has a lot of sounds that, while familiar, are different from any of the other albums, like this one which is very very country. it goes hard as fuck. it uses the word “fireflies” for the first time since fireflies. i love it
CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU (M.O.) personal fave of the album is mostly why this is here. as the title suggests its a dramatic love song, i love how pumped the chorus is and the way the outro sounds. Love To Sing Along
***WHEN CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?*** this is peak “happy music, sad lyrics” even though thats everywhere in owl city music, its pretty rare to find songs that are straightforwardly happy. this song is a banger and lyrically crushing. i guess its in the “bittersweet” category like a shit ton of owl city songs are, but still. this song changed our lives
I HOPE YOU THINK OF ME has this sick chill drumbeat throughout the song which is kind of rare. it kind of fuses his underwater type sound with his going hard as hell sound. like, it would be like the choreography of “bet on it” if i was listening to this song while standing up. you get really into the lyrics. i love this part at the end where the music pulls back for just a second while he goes “the thought is KILLING me!” shoutout to “kamikaze” where he yells half of it and its invigorating, shoutout to “paper tigers” which is an amazing song that hasnt shown up on an album
SUNBURN (Ocean Eyes) possibly the cutest owl city song. it has a sweet guitar riff. cute sweet, not sickass sweet.
HOT AIR BALLOON (Ocean Eyes) possibly the happiest owl city song. extremely cute but not as cute as sunburn but happier than sunburn.
BEAUTIFUL MYSTERY killer intro, really upbeat, the melody of the verses is great and the chorus goes pretty hard
RAINBOW VEINS (Maybe I’m Dreaming) another top level cute and happy song (“cheer up and dry your damp eyes, and tell me when it rains, and i’ll blend up that rainbow above you, and shoot it through your veins”) and has a top tier chilled out whispery interlude/bridge/whatever that then throws you into this pumped up finale
THE YACHT CLUB (ATBAB) speaking of being thrown into a pumped up finale, this does that too. so does “umbrella beach.” this one goes hardest imo and the live version of it goes even harder than that. plus the lyrics are amazing and the alliteration is stellar
***SUPER HONEYMOON*** (Maybe I’m Dreaming) consistently one of my top tier faves. i like the semi staccato delivery of parts of the lyrics, the music is fantastic, also very Classic Example of owl city
SKY DIVER (MID) super dreamy and pretty and bittersweet sounding, classic
HALCYON a bop!!! electronica on electronica
SLEEPWALKER so fun and sounds like a song to be going to the beach to
YOUTOPIA (ft. Adam Young) obvs not owl city but i’m putting it in, the full 4 min version. not only dreamy and bittersweet but one thing i always love in music is an unresolved musical phrase repeating on end. there’s also this part in the middle where his vocals kind of layer and grow and it has a long E sound and when he lingers on the long E its one of those things that would be grating except for its actually great because of that. see: honey and the bee
MR. HEARTACHE (ft. Adam Young) a total bop about being sad. like i wanna jump around to this song. see: tokyo, the song by adam young (owl city) featuring the artists of this one, SEKAI NO OWARI, which has my fave lyric “are you having fun yet, i’ll send you the sunset, i love the most”
FIREFLIES (Said the Sky remix) the intro to this is like, oh my god. the only fireflies remix the world needs.
UMBRELLA BEACH (Long Lost Sun remix) the original is great but i love this version even more. the finale is fantastic and exuberant
THAT’S IT i could include all the songs because i have good things to say and specific things to point out about each of them. for example: dental care is a masterpiece of puns. puns are a running theme in owl city. so is ghosts, the sky, the ocean, and The Affectionate Sigh. if you listen to enough songs you find repetitions of certain phrases like “oh darling i wish you were here,” “i feel like a postcard, i wish you were here,” “like hundreds of postcards, that say i wish you were here” and someone should make a post of all of them. it would be me if i had a laptop. anyways i like owl city you’re welcome for this post
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First Journal Entry.
I wrote this today but on another platform. Just making this to keep track of my life.Just going to paste it here.
“   I want to leave some sort of trail to look back on in a few years. Ill just sum up the last few years. From 2014-now 2018. In 8th grade I really started to make lifelong friends. It was one of my favorite years of school with Ms. Cooper as my ela teacher. My friend Diego also became one of my best that year and he still is. Same with Bryan. I am much closer with Bryan today. I also was really good friends with both Zachs. Although I have compeltely lost contact with them. Havent talked to either of them since 9th grade. That year kinda sucked. I barley had any good classes or classes with friends. I did start talking to my other really good friend Tyler that year. Also my friend nick who I havent really seen recently. Nothing eventful happened that year. Skip forward to the end of 9th grade and I started talking to kara. I was so fucking happy that a girl actually liked me and wanted to date. I was super nervous but we went out on a date and it went really well. I felt on top of the world. I always had a weird vibe about her. She a few months in became controlling and abusive. Made me bleed a few times. My whole family hated her. And her own family were mean to her. After all she did to me, I still felt bad for her and I still do in some ways. When she was nice she was the nicest girl in the world. When she was mean, she was evil. I dated her from the end of 9th grade to the end of 10th grade to almost the start of 11th. She broke up with me after a year and 2 months. August 8th. When she did I has a panic attack and almost fainted. But being the cruel person she is, she led me on for another month or so making me think she was going to get back with me, I had my hoped up so high and I missed her so much. Eventually she just said its over for real, but always left a little hope by saying "one day". It had me fucked up for months after. I should have cut ties sooner. It only hurts more. That is one big lesson I learned. Do not keep in touch with your ex if you want to get over them. Then in may I made the mistake of going to see her at the mall. Which only ended terrible. She made me pay for her food and tried to kiss me. i wanted to so bad but i didnt. I dont know why. She got mad. I forget why. She left and i was alone in the mall crying in the corner bench where bestbuy used to be. Rewind a bit. Start of 11th grade I started a band with bryan. it was called out of breath and it was me, bryan, diego and george. Diego was only in for a day. I love diego but he just was so bad and didnt practice the songs at all. He isnt as into music as me and bryan are. Which is ok. one whole year later we finally got our first show. By that time we had made about 30 songs. Only of which 5 actually made it onto the demo we are proud of. So now its 12th grade. In the july before 12th started, This girl jessica messaged me. She said I was cute and she wanted to keep talking to me. She was In florida at the time with her dad. I waited a whole month for her to get back. But just before we went on a date I got really sick after spending a few nights at jimny peak for my grandpas birthday. My throat hurt so bad. I didnt eat for 5 days. barley drank. I finally got better and ate and drank as much as i could. When i went to the hispital i had dreams about drinking apple juice and soda. It was the worst. I probably lost 5 pounds. Finally I went on the date with jess. i really did like her. She was only 15 however. We saw anabelle or something. I forget. I had a realy nice time and the feeling of someone else laying on me and holding me was something i really really missed. I was so happy. She was just really immature. She had depression and lots of problems. We broke up after she got drunk with a bunch of 20 something year olds. I cant stand drinking, smoking or drugs. And I am so fucking serious. I am done with that after what she did. A few days about a week before that happened. This girl krystal had moved back from florida. In 9th grade I would always see her. apprently we used to talk in homeroom but i dont remember that at all. She was one of those girls i just didnt think i was allowed to talk to. There are still those fucking people. The ones you cant talk to. You know what i mean. Thats all she talked to too. All the girls i had been friends with and now i wasnt. For the better honestly. They turned into druggies and whores. But she moved back after a few years in florida. i didnt think much of it. The  she liked all my pics on ig and i did the same. She also sent me a pic on christmas eve. I almost replied. i didnt tho. The next night she actually messaged me. She sent a heart face to my snap story. we started talking and i really started to like her even tho I had a girlfriend. Within 5 days of the breakup we started dating. We saw insideous. I was beyond happy and had never felt this before ever. Its also sad and tragic that the week leading up to that all my friend just roasted the shit out of her and called her a whore and said i shouldnt feel bad if i just ignored her. That made me a little sad but whatever. She then explained that she used to party get drunk and did xanax. Talk about a fucking turnoff. It still bothers me and sometimes i cant sleep. Why the fuck would you want to drink poison? I swear people who drink are fucking retarded. When you all have liver failure youll see whos right. And she claims that her step dad is dope for giving her weed money. Parents who love their fucking kids dont give them weed money. Literally fuck off with that shit. Weed is also the drug of choice for many LOSERS. I guess she doesnt anymore. But still the fact that she was a fuck up partier whore who slept with 2 people she wasnt in a relationship with. pisses me the fuck off. If you dont wanna almost get pregnant dont take xanax when youre drunk you fucking cunt. Sorry. i love her. And i feel like shes fading from me honestly. Yesterday at lunch we just didnt talk. And we barley have since then. we used to all the time. Shed leave me paragraphs. None of that anymore. She also always has a fucking attitude when I ask anything any boyfriend would. And she never comforts me when Im sad. She never fucking talks things through or tries to see my side of the fucking story. My feelings dont matter when we argue. If shes mad, im wrong. If shes sad, im wrong. It hurts me beyond belief  and we never accomplish anything. When you argue you need to see each others side. Maybe just both say sorry and move on so you both feel like you win. When she cries i hug and kiss her and say its all gonna be ok. When i cry. She looks away. When im sad she doesnt do anything. She said she sucks at comforting people. How hard is it to kiss me or hug me when im sad? you dont need to say anything. She really hurts me sometimes and makes me feel like i dont mean as much as i did. i also really dont want her to leave for the navy. Because if that happens. you know what happens. You grow apart. You fall out of love. Thats the sad truth. I dont want that. I also still feel like shes cheating or shes goig to cheat on me with someone when she goes to florida during break. With one of her guy "friends". Or smoke weed or drink. if i find out she smoked or got drunk. i am leaving her. no trace. "sober eyes are the truest ones" and i refuse to be with someone who smokes or drinks for fun. Poison. Ok thats allup until now. Im sitting her and have been writing for 30 min. Today was weird. But I still feel sad. She doesnt seem into me at all. She doesnt ask to see me. She never even messages me first. I know its dumb, but it hurts me.”
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sirishawrites · 6 years
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dancing in the moonlight
alright. so here’s the thing. it’s so easy to push people away. it’s a past-time of mine. if i’m uncomfortable about a person, they’re gone. i don’t think about them anymore. if i dislike someone, i don’t really interact. if i like someone, i don’t show it.
that last sentence is probably an anomaly. when someone likes someone else, in normal situations, they would probably want to make their affections known. me? i like to hide myself as much as possible. burrow myself in a curtain without ends. vulnerability scares me, regardless of whether the feelings are reciprocated. i had the most anxiety of my life when i had my one previous boyfriend.
we get it almost every night when that ol' moon gets-a big and bright it's a supernatural delight everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
this story starts with a co-worker, as most of the recent stories tend to be. i met him september 2016, when he had just started his 2-year long term assignment in san francisco. i didn’t think much of him when we met; didn’t really think he was cute either. over the next couple of months i came priivy to his antics as being a foreigner with a nice accent. girls were flocking to him. one in particular had a boyfriend. they started hooking up. i was there from the very beginning and saw the ugly ending of that fling. minor point: he also knew she had a boyfriend. she’s a seemingly minor character in this story, however i wouldn’t classify her as such; her few actions tend to cause earthquakes. quick profile on her: extremely extroverted, always has the need to be in the spotlight, but also genuinely nice. hard for her to grasp being alone.
so as their saga came to its untimely end, i was there for him. i was there when he needed someone to talk to, i listened to his side. i sat right behind him, how could i not? in the next couple of months, and to this present moment, we’ve gotten extremely close to each other. we share love of politics, movies, and music. we both like singing; our favorite time is at pandora. it’s never really boring talking to him. what i’m most proud of our saga is i’ve contributed to his wokeness, a slow climbing journey as it may be. when he joked about joining the kkk, i came for him. he knows now what to joke about and what not to joke about.
again, i don’t find him that cute. but i enjoy his presence. in the past several months, a countless number of people said they thought we were together. it must have been our demeanor. he is conventionally attractive, but what made me stop myself in my tracks before even considering anything with him is his baggage. number one? the hookup with our colleague. from her, he has a list of two other coworkers. the thought of adding my name to his list was haunting, and i refused to consider any type of romantic relationship, as much as our pairing felt right. he’s also said some regrettable things that made me doubt a relationship between the two of us; he had mentioned that the girl he was dating was gonna be leaving in a week, so he was considering someone else. i said that was such an asshole thing to say. 
in february of this year, he said he had something to tell me one night out. he was getting pretty drunk. it was right in the aftermath of the hookup breakup. i knew what he was going to say; that he had feelings for me. i decided to be sensible, doing something that he seems incapable of doing. we were at a bar, he told me to wait while he went to get money. i waited thirty minutes, and in those thirty minutes i had a growing sense of premonition of what he was going to say, and i decided to leave. he texted me later ‘where’d you go....something along being friends and liking us’ (it was a drunk text). i tried to get him to retell what he wanted to say several times later in my moments of indiscretion, where yes, i was feeling lonely and bored and wanted something to think about. he wouldn’t say.
so right, i’ve been with him through a lot. we’ve known each other a lot. and i never considered anything with him to the point of last weekend, because of 1) his baggage and 2) lack of wokeness.
enter november 10th. the weekend of the annual sf vs la soccer team competition in slo. due to a random and quick turn of events, it would be me and him driving alone to slo, sharing a room with two others, and driving back alone back to sf. i was dreading being alone with him in the car; i can carry a conversation with him, but 6 hours? this wasn’t the only time we’ve gone on date-like activities either...i’ve been to several concerts with him, one on one. on one such occasion i actually traveled with him to napa. napa. 
as it turns out, it....wasn’t so bad. i had a wonderful weekend. our conversations were non-stop, but better yet, we had moments of comfortable silence. when we were getting ready for saturday night in the motel room, i felt like we were a couple. we were just vibing so well together. even more insightful? the conversations we had. i learned so much more about him. he shared so many intimate details about his family and his life. we sang to our hearts content to various songs. we shared so many laughs. 
at one point of the trip, i confronted the fact that i thought he was emotionless. he seemed this whole time that i know him to have a cold figure even though he’s genuinely a nice person. it can be attribute to so many of our past conversations. it ended quite awkwardly, and after that i didn’t even really want to talk to him about that subject matter. later though, he actually opened up. he explained himself. this changed everything. i thought that this opaque filter that had been on him whenever we interacted had slipped away. we talked about a wide range of things, but we even talked about marriages and kids. his effortless flirty personality started to have an effect on me; he complimented my voice several times during our singing sessions, we sat closely together. maybe im amplifying what happened in my mind. i thought i understood him so much more; his personality, his emotions, everything. even more crazy? i started to recognize that i have feelings for him.
everybody here is out of sight they don't bark, and they don't bite they keep things loose, they keep things light everybody was dancin' in the moonlight
so this past week has been weird. it’s been one weekend since the slo trip. over the past week, i’ve started to entertain thoughts of the two of us together. for the first time in forever. i started to finally acknowledge that i was interested. we were to all get drinks on friday after work; i was excited for that so i could spend some time talking to him.
well, not so much.
friday after drinks, she happened. for the first time in awhile, she joined our group. since their ugly “breakup”, she tried to avoid him as much as possible in an effort to be with her boyfriend. it got uncomfortable; she wanted to alternate social events so that they wouldn’t all be together. it seemed like she gave no fucks anymore last night. i had a couple of conversations with her, she told me she didnt know what was going on with her boyfriend, that she was putting in the effort, that maybe it hadnt been the same since she had the affair. i was with her when she texted him ‘fuck it i want you’. from her phone i could see some of his responses that seemed to be reciprocating. despite everything, everything that has happened, despite the fact that there’s a girl who he dated for three months and now lives in france, despite the fact that he told me he does have emotions and he was willing to go to france to see her, despite everything that made me stop believing that he was just a robot who wanted to fill in the variables for a decent, happy life with a job and a relationship, no matter who the person is, he still caved in. he still caves in for her.
i sent him a couple of regrettable text messages last night. i was drunk and sad. i cried in bed. i didn’t try to rectify them this morning, but i did delete my message thread with him (probably something i shouldnt have done). but it’s made me come to a conclusion where i know whats to happen. i cant get close to him anymore. because in doing that, i subjugate myself to his tendencies. when he wants someone to talk to , im there. someone to entertain, im there. im just a person to him, doesnt matter what the substance to him. doesnt matter who i truly am.he likes talking to me all right. and he likes flirting with me just enough to have me on board. and he convinced me enough that we are such good friends, going to different events together, talking about different things. but once she’s in the picture, i’m completely forgotten. even as a friend. how fucking toxic.
last night’s occurrences reminded me of something he said in the car ride to slo. he said that he was driven to a life circumstance by a person. he would stay in sf longer if there was someone here to stay for. basically, he values a relationship over all else. how traditional. me? i value the place. i’m driven by places, by experiences, by sights, sounds, and sense. not by people. maybe that was a warning sign, a premonition.
i know he values our friendship greatly. he always seems to want to talk to me, he once got on bart from sfo to east bay right after a flight just to hang out with me and some others at my invitation. he cares about me. but it’s hard being a friend with someone so closed, someone so easy to sway, someone who i may have feelings for deep down that i keep pushing away. i have to recognize that he’s simply a shitty person. we all are. but i can’t continue being as close to him as i was.
so i’ll continue to be friends with him, but only just. i am just going to be friendly. i cant take this volatile swing of emotions that he’s causing me. i will let my feelings dissipate, swirl out. i will talk to him, be nice, but i will not extend myself more to him. if he notices this and reaches out, then great. we’ll have a conversation about it that will end civilly. if not, also great. i’m doing myself a service, by not entertaining thoughts of something more with him. 
everybody's dancin' in the moonlight everybody's feelin' warm and right it's such a fine and natural sight everybody's dancin' in the moonlight
i dont want to fight for what i want, i don’t want to take charge.
and if that means i’m dancing alone in the moonlight, then that’s ok.
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