Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.
Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):
In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.
It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]
The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]
Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]
In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]
In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]
Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.
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just a little tip for fellow autistics: if a doctor asks “can you do x?” what they really mean is “can you do x without pain?”
Generally, if you just say “yes i can do that” they will assume you can do that thing painlessly and without issue at all times. you need to clarify “i can but it hurts a lot” or “i can only do this sometimes when x and y” etc.
They will also generally assume you won’t do things if they hurt too much, but a lot of us deal with pain very differently than an allistic person might. Even if some pain doesn’t stop you from doing something, you should still tell them you have it, it still “counts.” If you are not visibly (to them) showing signs of pain, they will almost always assume you don’t have any and you need to tell them otherwise.
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Thinking about the portal incident again
How it was never explained what caused the portal to appear, was Light Hope involved, was it someone else or was it wild magic. Was it planned or was it a pure random and luck
How it saved Hordak from certain death. How it saved him from Prime
How it appeared at the right place at the very right time. And had this happened a day late or anywhere else on the front lines, he most likely wouldn't have survived
How in that moment on the battlegrounds Hordak probably no longer believed he could be saved and just accepted his fate
How he might've as well been mere weeks/days old and his life could've ended before it even began. And he was ready to accept it
How in his mind he might have thought he was dying. And how confused and defeated he must have felt once he realized that he was still alive. That this portal did not kill him, but rather took away his chance at doing something "right", the last chance at pleasing his god. How he might've saw himself as an even bigger failure, because he couldn't even die right
How this sudden brutal separation from Prime and the Hive Mind was necessary and, in retrospect, was the best thing to ever happen to Hordak. How by physically cutting all the ties he had to the Horde and the known universe, some random portal did more to protect Hordak than most people in his life ever did
How Hordak himself viewed his situation not as a miracle but as fate worse than death. How at first he only felt immense pain, fear and grief, like a very young child whom was forcebly taken away from their abusive family. How he did not understand that it was good for him and only wished to return home and see his brother again. How Hordak wasted years of his life trying to find him. How his indoctrination, loyalty and love were stronger even than such powerful magic/technology
How Hordak had no idea what to do with himself at first, for he never thought he would've lasted this long. For he was not meant to live that long. And yet, he no longer welcomed death and once again found will to live. He did not let himself give up this time
How he's been looking for a portal home, hoping that one day it's going to appear again. How eventually, tired of waiting, he decided to create a portal of his own. How it became his life's work
How it was a portal that sent Adora to Etheria, someone who will one day free Hordak and the entire universe from Prime. How, if he wasn't waiting for another portal this entire time, no one would've come for her and Adora could've died on that field. But Hordak was there, and (as best as he could) he took care of someone who ended up in the same situation he was in
How it was a portal that brought Hordak to Etheria, and into Entrapta's lonely life. How they would've never met each other if it wasnt for that incident
How it was a portal that invited Entrapta into his life and helped him connect with a person who will forever change his life. How it was a portal that became a catalist for their friendship (and love)
How the "natural" portal that sent Hordak to Etheria can represent real connections and the painful process of growth and change (seeing new places, meeting new people, trying new things, distancing from harmful enviroment, learning independence, being responsible for oneself and others)
How the "artificial" portal Hordak created himself can represent desire to return to this false safety of the past, where everything was simple and familiar, as well as his desperate wish to rebuild his connection with Prime. A connection that was never there. How it was falling apart from the start, how at first Entrapta was so eager to help her friend succeed, but eventually realized that the portal was dangerous. How in the end it only hurt Hordak and everyone around him
How the portal that appeared "naturally" gave him not what he wanted, but what he needed. A safe place, people who understand him, a chance at better life, his personhood. How, after the "artificial" portal gave him something he thought he wanted, Hordak went back to square one. How, in reality, it only took everything from him
Portals, man...
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