#is similar to the age gap between myself and two of the people that abused me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tailsrevane · 2 years

Text

[book review] blood and chocolate by annette curtis klause (1997)

this is really messy ya fiction that goes to some fucking intense (and i think, occasionally, irresponsible) places. i know i say this a lot about books like this but it really does feel like a similar energy to the kinds of writing i always really vibed with in fanfic but never really intentionally seek out in profic and i really do need to do something about that because i frequently end up loving it.

also it does that super fanficcy thing where it refers back to characters’ backstories in a way that makes you wonder if you missed a previous book or something even though this is the only book in the series. perfect. exquisite. i’ll take three.

i just fucking adore this kind of heart-on-its-sleeve bullshit. and this one also does that thing where it feels like a pretty restrained, conventional narrative for a good long while and the intensity just very abruptly spikes and it’s like “oh! ok. we’re doing this now i guess!” for the rest of the book.

that kind of thing can frankly actually be detrimental if it just doesn’t land for you for whatever reason, and for me at least i find my reactions to this kind of thing to be pretty fickle, and in this particular case i actually found myself completely onboard with the abrupt shift (... heh, shift).

like there is for sure shit in here that i could be obstinate & complain about if i really wanted to, and i wouldn’t even be wrong because i actually do think a lot of it is big-P Problematic, but for whatever reason this particular book just really lulled me into enjoying it anyway, and i like liking things so i’m just gonna go ahead and let myself like this.

(spoilers, cw: suicide mention, age gap relationship)

if you’ve followed my reviews for a while in one form/venue or another you might be thinking, “wait, robin, it sounds an awful lot like you’re describing a guilty pleasure, you said those aren’t a thing.” but i promise you that is not what’s happening here? nor am i “enjoying it ironically” (something i basically refuse to do, heck something i might be incapable of doing). my enjoyment is genuine. i will certainly allow that this is a “problematic fave,” which i suppose some people consider synonymous with a “guilty pleasure,” but i still think there’s an important distinction to be had there.

enjoying (or not enjoying) art is an inherently dialectical process and the meaning isn’t produced wholly in the media itself or wholly in you yourself, but rather in the relationship between those two things. i do not feel guilty about enjoying blood and chocolate. (wow that sounds like a whole thing out of context lmao.)

i am uncomfortable with some of the messages that can be derived about relationships from gabriel’s 180-degree turn from a guy made of literally nothing but red flags to the embodiment of gruff but tender masculinity, given the patriarchy-shaped patterns of abuse many women are subjected to in their searches for mates, and i think especially for a book marketed largely towards young women this does them a serious disservice.

but i’m an adult and i know better so i can separate my enjoyment of this from its problematic elements as long as i responsibly call them out when discussing the book. and against what i thought were pretty long odds when i realized where this story was going, i do like gabriel & vivian’s romance. i do like the guy he turns into later in the book, no matter how blatantly unearned that turn was. and i’m perfectly willing to just allow myself to enjoy that, in spite of all the fairly obvious reasons why i “shouldn’t.”

hell, his ideas about werewolves having an instinctive need to dominate & protect are fucking hot and i could easily see them being rewardingly incorporated into a power exchange relationship? and also like… even in the context where they came up in this book, they actually aren’t horrible? he’s basically explaining why relationships between werewolves & humans are inherently unsafe, but he’s doing it in a very empathetic, nonjudgmental way. and just… if that really is how things work in this world, i’m actually super behind his take?

but what really helped the most is that it wasn’t until vivian had been through something similar to what gabriel had been through, and he shared his story with her, helping her begin to recover from her trauma, that i was really sold on them. because their relationship really is built on them being kindred spirits.

i’m deliberately ignoring something rather huge here, and that’s the fact that vivian is 16 and gabriel is 24. and, i mean… some of the discourse about age gaps in romantic & sexual relationships can be overly rigid. like, as someone who was simultaneously being emotionally abused & manipulated by someone roughly my own age in a “romantic” relationship while also being in a much healthier fuckbuddies-shaped relationship with someone who was almost twice my age, i just don’t see how so many people can see this as such a one-size fits all kind of thing? but in the case of a 24-year old adult man and a 16-year old high school girl, i feel pretty fucking okay saying that this is one of the clearest-cut cases of “that shit is not okay.” and again this is an aspect of the story where i think the book pretty clearly fails its target audience, because holy shit should you never be drilling into people’s heads that that kind of thing is normal.

for the record, i also will briefly mention that i also don’t really think the way this book treats suicide is responsible at all, again especially in view of its target audience. i don’t super want to get into it in any more depth than that? and i am sorry if anyone feels let down by my bringing it up but not really feeling super comfy getting into it in depth, but i frankly just wouldn’t feel responsible if i didn’t mention it at all.

but, again, that really isn’t what decides whether i like a given story or not, it’s just context that i feel responsible to put out there. because in spite of all of that, i really like this book.

it really helps that vivian is actually super into being a werewolf? she isn’t all angsty & self-hating, she thinks her werewolf self is beautiful (because it fucking is) and she is hurt & confused & angry when aiden can’t see that. and gabriel seeing that & understanding it and talking her through it was a pretty huge breakthrough for me with that character. but really i just love vivian as a narrator, and i actually got pretty fucking miffed when a reviewer i usually like found her annoying because she really is my favorite thing about this book.

this is not only a problematic fave, it’s a problematic fave that has me excited to branch out and discover whole new problematic faves in this genre, because i understand that both a lot of the things that i found uncomfy in this book and a lot of the things i liked about it are basically genre staples. and yeah, i can for sure deal with more of this.

a-rank

#reviews #books #book review #blood & chocolate #blood and chocolate #annette curtis klause #werewolf #werewolves #werewolf books #cw: suicide #cw: age gap

1 note · View note

nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Text

A quick lesson on ships

Because why not??😌

No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe

Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:

A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015

Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.

There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.

In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀

Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)

Proshippers are well- Pro ships.

Pro-Ship

A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.

Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.

These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.

‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.

Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.

III

Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.

As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.

Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.

Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.

So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.

Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.

I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭

I try to keep it classy.

Lord knows I try.

You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.

There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.

Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.

Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.

They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.

Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.

Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.

There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.

Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is

If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.

You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about

Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.

I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀

Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.

But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.

Yall do you sis.

I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.

Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.

For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.

In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.

You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.

A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.

Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭

It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.

But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.

If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.

There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.

And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.

It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀

I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.

I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭

Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭

It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭

He stays shooting his shots🤣

Jimin Harem is real🤭

I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫

But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.

Summary

Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.

Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.

Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.

I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...

Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...

Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.

I ship all the ships platonically.

Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.

JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.

As nonplatonic ships I mean.

I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣

I hope this helps??

GOLDY

75 notes · View notes

lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years

Text

My Top Ten Overlooked Movies With Female Leads In No Particular Order

Note: When you see this emoji (⚠️) I will be talking about things people may find triggering, which are spoilery more often then not. I mention things that I think may count as triggers so that people with them will be aware before going in to watch any of these.

Edited: 3/16/21

Hanna (2011)

So, before I get into why you should watch this movie, I just want to take a moment to say why it's near and dear to my heart. Growing up as a queer kid in the early 2000s, seeing portrayals of people like or similar to myself on anything was rare at best. It was mostly in more "adult" movies or shows that my parents would occasionally let me watch with them that I'd see any lgbtq+ rep at all. Often times they were either walking stereotypes, designed to be buried, evil, or all three.

Then here comes this PG-13 action thriller with a wonderfully written main female lead who, at the time, was close to my age, and who got to kiss another girl (her very first friend, Sophie) on screen in an extremely tender and heartwarming scene. To say the least, it was a life changing moment for me personally.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, Hanna is a suspenseful movie about a child super-soldier named, you guessed it, Hanna (played by Saoirse Ronan) and her adoptive (?) father Erik Heller (played by Eric Bana) exiting the snowy and isolated wilderness of their home and taking on the shadowy CIA operative, Marissa Wiegler (played by Cate Blanchette) who wants Erik dead and Hanna for herself for mysterious reasons.

It also has an amazing soundtrack by the Chemical Brothers, great action scenes, and it has an over arching fairytale motif, which I'm always a sucker for.

⚠️ Mild blood effects, some painful looking strikes, various character deaths, and child endangerment all feature in this film. However, given its PG-13 rating, a majority of viewers are presumably able to handle this one. Still, be aware of these going in.

Sidenote: It's recently gotten a TV adaptation on Amazon TV, although I have not watched it, and do not know if Hanna and Sophie's romantic/semi-romantic relationship has transferred over.

A Simple Favor

A Simple Favor is a "black-comedy mystery thriller" centered entirely around the relationship between two mothers, the reclusive, rich, mysterious, and regal Emily (played by Blake Lively), and the local recently widowed but plucky mommy blogger, Stephanie (played by Anna Kendrick). When Emily suddenly goes missing, Stephanie takes it upon herself to find out what happened to her new best friend.

It's a fantastic and entertaining movie throughout, with fun, flawed and interesting characters. The relationship between the two female leads is also implied to be at least somewhat romantic in nature, and they even share a kiss.

⚠️ The only major warnings I can think of is that the movie contains an instance of incest and one of the main plotlines revolves around child abuse, although both of these potentially triggering topics are not connected to each other, so there is thankfully no csa going on.

Edit: I legitimately forgot there was drug use in this movie until now. So, yeah, if that's a trigger, be careful of that.

I Am Mother

I became mildly obsessed with this movie when it came out. I Am Mother is a sci-fi film that centers entirely around a cast of two woman, and a female-adjacent robot who is brought to life on screen with absolutely amazing practical effects.

The plot is such, after an extinction-level event, a lone robot known only as Mother tasks herself with replenishing the human race via artifical means. She begins with the film's main protagonist, Daughter. Years go by as Mother raises her human child and the two prepare for Daughter's first sibling (a brother) to be born. However, on Daughter's 16th birthday, the arrival of an outsider known only as Woman shakes Daughter's entire world view. She begins to question Mother's very nature, as well as what's really going on outside the bunker she and her caretaker call home.

⚠️ This movie features child endangerment and reference to child death.

Lilo and Stitch

When I decided to add a single Disney film to this list I initially thought it was going to be hard but almost immediately my brain went to Lilo and Stitch, and specifically about the relationship between Lilo and Nani.

On the surface, this film is about a lonely little girl accidentally adopting a fugitive alien creature as a "dog," but underneath that the story is also about two orphaned sisters and the older sister's attempts to not let social services tear them apart by stepping up as the younger sister's primary guardian. Despite its seemingly goofy premise, Lilo and Stitch has a very emotional and thoughtful center. It's little wonder how this movie managed to spawn an entire franchise.

Despite the franchise it spawned (or possibly because of it), I often find that Lilo and Stitch is overlooked and many people only remember it for the "little girl adopts an alien as a pet" portion of its plot, and I very rarely see it on people's top 10 Disney lists.

⚠️ This movie could be potentially triggering to people who were separated from their siblings or other family members due to social service intervention. There's also a bit of child endangerment, including a scene where Lilo and Stitch both almost drown.

Nausicaä and the Valley of the Wind

Unlike the above entry, I did struggle a little bit with picking a single Studio Ghibli film. Most media of the Ghibli catalogue have strong, well-written, unique, and interesting female leads so selecting just one seemed like quite the task.

However, I eventually settled on this particular film. In recent months, Princess Nausicaä has become my absolute favorite Ghibli protagonist and I'm absolutely enchanted by the world she lives in.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world overun by giant insects and under threat of a toxic forest and its poisoness spores, Nausicaä must try to protect the Valley of the Wind from invaders as she also tries to understand the science behind the toxic forest and attempts to bridge the gap between the insects and the humans.

For those who have never seen the film, I think Nausicaä's personality can best be described as being similar to OT Luke Skywalker. Both are caring, compassionate, and gentle souls who are able to see the best in nearly anyone or anything. She's an absolutely enthralling protagonist and after rewatching the film again for the first time in well over a decade she has easily become one of my all time favorite protagonists.

Whenever I see people talk about Ghibli films, they rarely mention this one, and when they do mention it, it's often in passing. In my opinion it's a must watch.

⚠️ This movie contains some blood, and the folks who either don't like insects or who have entomophobia may not appreciate the giant bugs running about throughout the movie. (Although most insects do not directly relate to real life bugs, and are fantasy creatures).

A Silent Voice

A Silent Voice is an animated movie adaptation of a manga of the same name. While I've never had the pleasure to read the manga, the movie is phenomenal. It covers topics such a bullying, living in the world with a disability, the desire for atonement, social anxiety, and depression in a well thought out manner that ties itself together through the progression of the relationship between its two leads, Shoya and Shouko. It's also beautifully animated. Although very popular among anime viewers, I've noticed that it's often overlooked by people who watch little to no anime. So I suppose this is me urging non-anime viewers to give this film a chance.

⚠️ As mentioned above, the movie deals with bullying, anxiety, and depression (with this last one including suicidal thoughts and behaviour). If discussion of those topics are triggering to you, than you may want to proceed with caution or skip this movie all together.

In This Corner of The World

Another manga adaptation, this one taking place during WWII-era Japan. In This Corner of The World follows the life of a civilian Japanese woman, Suzu Urano, as she navigates simply living and her new marriage as the wartime invades nearly all aspects of everyday life. I think this movie is a good representation of what it must be like to be living as civilian in a country at war where the fight is sometimes fought on one's own soil. It was also an interesting look into pre-50s Japanese culture in my opinion. It's also beautifully animated featuring an art style I don't see often.

Despite it being well known among anime fans, I never really see it be brought up, even among said anime fans themselves.

Side note: I've seen many WWII dramas centering around civilians but they've almost always been about American or UK civilians. This was the first movie I'd seen that features the perspective of a Japanese civilain.

⚠️ Features the death of a child and limb loss. There's also a disturbing scene featuring a victim of one of the atomic bombs near the end.

Wolf Children: Ame and Yuki

This film follows Hana, a Japan-native woman who fell in love with a magical shape-shifting wolf-man, and her trials with raising their children, who can also magically shape-shift into wolves, on her own. It's a very heartfelt movie about a mother's love and the struggles of doing right by your children when you have limited resources to actively guide and care for them. All the characters feel unique and alive in my opinion. Also, the animation is so good that my sister and I initially mistook it for a Ghibli film.

Again, like the previous two anime entries, I don't see it ever brought up outside of anime circles.

⚠️ There's some child endangerment present in the film, although none of it is the fault of Hana as far as I can remember.

Roman Holiday

Roman Holiday is about the fictional Princess Ann (played by Audrey Hepburn), who while on a whirlwind tour of Europe, finally reaches her breaking point over having her entire life be one big schedule and all her words and actions being rehearsed. In the spur of the moment, she runs away in hopes of experiencing what life is like for other women. Unfortunately, she was previously given a sedative, meaning she doesn't get too far before it takes effect. Fortunately, she is found by the kind reporter Joe Bradley (played by Gregory Peck). Believing her to be drunk and unable to get an address from her (because she has none) he ends up taking her home for safety's sake and allows her to sleep off her suppose drunken stupor. The next day, he realizes who she is, and decides to take her on a fun sight seeing trip across Rome in hopes of getting the big scoop. Along the way, they begin to fall for each other.

This is my favorite black and white, old romance film. I think the relationship between the main characters is absolutely beautiful and I have a lot of fun watching it.

⚠️ I'm not entirely sure what kind of warning this film would need. However, it was released in 1953, so values dissonance will probably be at play for many viewers to at least some extent. For example, early in the film Ann is given sedation drugs by her doctor for her behavior, something that is very unlikely to happen today. Also, Mr Bradley deciding to take Ann home to keep her safe rather than call the police or an ambulance is a very pre-90s decision in my opinion.

#hanna 2011 #a simple favor #i am mother #lilo and stitch #nausicaä of the valley of the wind #a silent voice #in this corner of the world #wolf chilren ame and yuki #wolf children #roman holiday #black and white film #anime #disney #studio ghibli #movie recs #top 10

176 notes · View notes

yunsoh · 4 years

Note

Why was Rin so awful to Yuki??

she thinks he’s taking advantage of haru’s kindness by not sacrificing himself in the ways that haru sacrificed himself for him. rin and yuki were both more or less saved because haru dedicated his love and time to them, even when it was dangerous to do so -- haru visiting yuki at the estate could have resulted in him getting caught and punished, and haru falling in love with rin had consequences that they were both aware of -- and while haru has never asked for anything in return (aside from wanting both yuki and rin to grow stronger in the ways they needed to in order to move out of their dark places), rin feels so completely indebted to him that she would sooner die than fail at returning (or trying to return) what she views as a similar caliber of kindness back to him. in this case, finding a way to break the curse so that he can be freed of it, which includes being freed of akito and herself (from ch. 79; “I was happy. Thank you... But that’s enough for me. Haru, this time, you have to be happy. I’ll release you from me. From Akito. From everything that binds you. I want to release you.”).

in a lot of ways, rin is projecting her anger and frustration with herself onto yuki, which i think is where some of her vitriol comes from. she absolutely hates herself, and really struggles to find a sense of self-worth without haru. haru is her purpose. but, as she simultaneously finds herself to be a burden on him, she finds herself in a position where she feels unworthy of being with him (and, i think, unworthy of being alive) if she can’t free him of the curse. her dedication to him is entirely selfless because that’s how she views his love for her to be.

thing is, we do see later on that haru considers his love for rin to be completely selfish (from ch. 105; “I wanted to protect her... With no one’s help. Just mine. So I wanted Rin to want me, too... An alarm was going off in a corner of my brain. It told me that this might be putting a rope around Rin’s neck... I knew where Akito would direct his rage, in a corner of my brain. I did know. But I wanted to have her. I wanted her all to myself. I just wanted to make her mine, and mine alone. More than I wanted to protect her.”). while he never says this to her directly, i’m not entirely sure she would believe him if he did. up to the end, she finds ways to blame herself, or pull back from him because of her own lack of self-worth (literally her last lines in the series are, in reference to her being so distraught over her trauma, “Do you think Haru will be disappointed? I know I can be a real downer. Sometimes I’ll wonder if he’ll hate me.” -- which i find telling tbh).

anyways, it’s because rin has tunnel vision with haru & places her self-worth in him that she can’t fathom why yuki is able to not only live fairly normally, but is also able to focus on his own needs. she saw exactly how much haru would sacrifice for yuki, and yuki seemingly not giving that in return is offensive to her. she doesn’t know, of course, that yuki does feel uncomfortable with only focusing on himself (from ch. 70; “Is that what’s best? Making yourself top priority? Aren’t there things that should come even before that? It’s not like I can stand on my own right now. I can’t give anything back.”) and on multiple occasions wishes he could help haru, or wishes haru would let him help. but, haru is insistent that yuki continue focusing on himself, because haru knows firsthand that yuki is prone to putting himself aside for other people’s benefit. yuki pushing himself to find who he is, to thrive and become his own person (especially outside of the family), is exactly what haru wants in return. rin’s perspective on the situation doesn’t allow her to see that.

this is what haru wants for rin, too, but it comes at an odds because of their romantic relationship. while haru can encourage yuki to pursue a life beyond the sohmas, which includes himself, he cannot ask the same of rin and continue to expect to be in a relationship with her. yuki and rin come from incredibly similar circumstances -- being abused and abandoned by their parents, as well as considerably abused by akito, leaves them both feeling completely worthless and suicidal -- and haru shows a great awareness with yuki that, in order to become his own person and heal, he has to remove himself from his family. it’s why we see yuki spend considerably less time with other sohmas as the series goes on, and why we see haru hold back immensely when it comes to telling yuki about his own troubles. but, while this same logic would need to be applied to rin as well, there comes a couple of issues:

one, rin has no other motivation outside of haru and has even less self-worth than yuki, meaning she doesn’t have a solid place in herself where she can draw on similar reserves and admit that there are things that she needs to do entirely for her own well-being, &

two, haru admits that he’s selfish in wanting her to depend on him alone, even though he knows that that corners her -- and while this is alleviated somewhat with tohru’s friendship with rin, tohru herself is incredibly engrained into the sohmas. for rin to really grow and heal, she would likely have to take a similar path that yuki did and, after gaining some strength (likely from her friendship with tohru), try to make her own path.

it’s actually a compelling situation for them to be in, as rin would need to find that ounce of self-worth to live for herself and not for haru in order to push herself to really become her own person and heal, and it would require haru to have a “i’m letting you go because i love you” moment (which would be especially compelling because he’s constantly heralded as being weirdly mature for his age, and his feelings towards rin are perhaps the most realistic immaturity he's shown to have; this situation would be particularly testing for him). but, we never see any real resolution to these issues by the end of the story.

i do think that rin would only be able to understand yuki once she’s given the chance to really live her life for herself & understand her own wants and needs, but as it stands, she’s only just started the journey to maybe prioritizing herself -- at the very least, learning how to ask for help -- by the time the series closes. there’s a pretty considerable gap between her and yuki’s respective levels of self-worth and healing by the end, and she unfortunately doesn’t receive the same caliber of growth that he does because of the constraints of the narrative.

#oh anon u just unleashed something in me.......#fruits basket #rin sohma #yuki sohma #haru sohma #sorry i always go on tangents with these questions but i legitimately have so much to say abt these three lmfao #also not me thinking abt how both rin and machi got their growth in self-worth nerfed by romance. not me thinking about it.#fruits basket spoilers #Anonymous #yunsoh meta #answered

162 notes · View notes

kaishun · 4 years

Text

Fanexus - Upcoming Fandom-focused Platform

Hey y’all, Kaishun here, who hasn’t spoken in 85 years but still vaguely lurks around in the corners of your peripherals. As you guys probably know, with the tumblr ban on NSFW (both for things that actually were NSFW and vaguely fleshy colored), a lot of big folks in the fandom left for twitter. Well, twitter sucks, as it’s impossible to finding anything. Nobody tags stuff, because there’s not enough space to do so, and harassment’s pretty bad (both due to lack of tagging and due to tagging).

Fanexus is a platform wanting to change that! It’s kinda’ve the love child between tumblr and livejournal, and with the beta coming up soon, they’re trying to drum up some hype. I’m hype, so, I’m gonna go over some of my fav official features so far:

Proship / Anti-Harassment / Anti-Censorship

Useful Tagging System ( #Saix = #Saïx )

3 Accounts in 1 (1 login for 3 different blogs)

Details on^ below the cut. Here’s a pretty picture from their blog @fanexus-dot-net to show its progress:

Proship, Harassment, and Censorship (Don’t Like/Don’t Read)

A lot of platforms and people are aggressively censoring fictional content they don’t like. Whether that be two characters lewding in general, those character being in an abusive relationships, noncon, age gaps, underaged, incest, etc.-- a lot of people get harassed for drawing that kind of stuff. But, y’know-- it’s fictional. No different from the whole “video games cause violence” scare from moms in the 90s. But the harassment from people has gotten really bad, especially on twitter.

Fanexus allows whatever you want to draw/write/etc., as long as it is of fictional characters--with a great tagging system to support it. If you don’t like something... you block the tag! Bam, that simple. You shouldn’t see anymore.

For those of you who went to Pillowfort, and were displeased with the sudden rule change & bans regarding some content, Fanexus should have no such issue. They’re hosting in Denmark, where the country’s sex specialists determined that underaged content of fictional characters did not have a negative impact on actual children.

Useful Tagging System

idk about you, but I hate looking under the 10 different names for the same ship. Every other new artist seems to have another name for their fav pairing. Fanexus has a tagging system that support synonyms-- meaning “#XemSai”, “#Xemnas x Saix”, “#Xemnas/Saïx”, etc. will all show up under the same “#XemSai” search.

Its tagging is also hierarchical-- so if someone tags something with just “#XemSai”, it’ll show up under show up #Xemnas, #Saix, and #Kingdom Hearts. While this may come off as a bit scary at first (there’s such a “don’t put X in the main tag!” concern on tumblr), it normalizes letting your art/fics to be actually, like... seen. And if someone doesn’t like it #XemSai, they can just block the tag. This greatly decreases the chance of shy people with rarepairs just being lost to the abyss, never seen again. As someone who’s in some small fandoms, “forcing” everything to go into the series tag is a great feature to me.

It also lets people completely block series-- block the #Kingdom Hearts tag if you don’t want to see Melody of Memory spoilers. As long as they’ve tagged their posts with anything regarding the series, it’ll get caught up in that block filter, so you can safely play the game and still browse your feed.

Aliases (3 Accounts in 1)

With one account, you have three different “Alias” blogs. These generally function like completely different blogs (none of that sideblog shit); with their own posts, their own followers, their own following, and their own memberships to communities. You can switch between them with an easy click, instead of having to open a whole new browser or logout/login like on tumblr.

My plan is to have a SFW alias, a NSFW alias, and a RP alias. I can enjoy my SFW alias at work and on the go, as well as post some OCs to it; I can switch to my NSFW alias if I want to see some juicy smut on a lazy weekend; and to my RP alias to catch up on what’s been going on and write some replies.

Miscellaneous

Communities: You ever think about making a blog exclusively for one character, but go “ugh sideblogs suck and I don’t want to do this by myself”? Well, Communities allow everyone who joins to share content to it, easily gathering art/fics from your favorite character or series in one place. It’s a great way to find people with similar interests, follow some new artists, etc. Roleplay-wise, theoretically great for “Worlds”; tossing an opener into the themed world and getting some replies.

Funding: They’re currently planning on no ads, and funding via premium features, such as buying extra aliases. There’ll be a Kickstarter later for server cost and additional features.

People/Fans: I’ve been on their discord for a few weeks, and holy shit, these are my people. I’ve never felt so comfortable just like... chatting about my interests with people. I’m not the #1 sinner in the server at all times, like I am everywhere else. Discussions I’ve normally seen blow up into huge raging disagreements kinda just simmer to slightly irritable but still civil conversations. It’s kinda bizarre to witness, like... mature people talking to mature people.

Minors: Minors will not be able to see posts marked as 18+, full stop. You can also mark your entire blog as 18+, but you’re not required to. Minors who lie about their age will have their accounts banned.

Interested?: Their beta is going to be starting sometime late this month. You can find more details on their tumblr blog ( https://fanexus-dot-net.tumblr.com/ ) or their twitter ( https://twitter.com/fanexus ). You can sign up for their forum/discord/beta over here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-Ll_vb1bukbnxHpaQcuxUikUu1NtqDk3-AsD4gZkjiY/viewform?edit_requested=true

#fanexus #hashtag not sponsored #I just really like what I see #fanexus-dot-net

245 notes · View notes

emerald-eyes-8917 · 3 years

Text

Regarding Dan Avidan and the conceit of parasocial relationships...

After sitting down and talking to myself and the blank wall earlier today, I came to some conclusions and would like to share them here:-

1. What happened in the last few days was a pile-on based on someone’s knee jerk reaction and has unfortunately spread like a minor wildfire. Thankfully, it has not become an inferno with the Twitter user apologising and stamping out the flames, but they continue to be fanned by people who may be coming across the situation second-hand.

2. What was also clear is that there was misleading information that added elements to the story that were not true, i.e. the birthday message that was presumed to be from Dan to the fan.

- The Reddit user who posted the thread has admitted in a text conversation with another user that the message was not from Dan, and was instead a timeline aid to establish the fan’s age. It may not have been used to apportion blame initially, but it grew into a damning element of the story, that Dan was priming the fan for more intimate contact later on.

3. There are no corresponding messages between Dan and the fan in the intervening four years between the friendly creator/fan interaction and the hot-tub video exchange where they became intimate. If I have missed this part of the story, I apologise, but from the original post, the gap is illustrated by the phrase ‘Years pass by’ or something to that effect.

4. The fan at the centre of this story has said outright in a thread that Dan was not grooming her, nor did she feel that he was manipulating her. Listen to victims, I hear you cry. Let us listen to this one and believe her rather than rake Dan over the coals for being ‘gross’ or a ‘scumbag’.

5. The phrase ‘abuse of power’ has been coined to describe this entire affair by people on Twitter who feel VERY strongly about it. While it can happen with any degree of possibility, especially if someone is a CEO or a politician, it is disenfranchising the lady who made her own choices and that there were two people in that relationship, or what you will. Whether it is him as a musician or him as a Let’s Player is not clear, but this also coincides with the aspects of parasocial relationships which I will discuss more below.

6. Morality and legality have had a complex interplay the last few days. Was what Dan did illegal? No, it wasn’t, since the first interaction was a friendly neutral greeting, the birthday message was not from him and she was 22 when the intimate contact occurred.

Was it right to do to someone? No, but on the scale of crimes in this world, it is more an emotionally bad thing to do. Yes, it is surely painful for anyone who was ghosted and it does lower him to being a human man who made stupid mistakes, but it is a private matter and should not be aired out like dirty laundry in the court of public opinion.

Dan Avidan does not make policy that causes harm. We saw what an abuse of power is and it was in the presidency of the former US president. Abuses of power can happen in a vacuum, and I would prefer to hear from experts who deal with victims of coercive control and domestic violence rather than those who feel morally outraged.

Final thoughts:-

Parasocial relationships have become quite risky in these times we live in.

We are in perpetually online spaces due to the pandemic, and as such, are more free with what we say and share online, especially in community space like the Game Grumps fandom.

Not only are internet celebrities revered and looked up to, but there is a large number of fans who believe that they are their friends for the sole reason of watching their videos every day and hanging out.

I am guilty of imagining what it would be like to hang out at the Game Grumps office, or joining my favourite singer onstage, or writing a drama show with actors I love. But it was in my imagination and in my own inner life.

I believe that the community must step up and pledge to assist those who may be vulnerable and become emotionally attached to any internet celebrities, whether for coping with mental health issues, aspiring to be animators or musicians, or even for romantic fantasy.

The community must point them in the direction of resources that can help them, support them and make them realise that while you can be a fan of someone, love what they do, they do not owe you friendship nor do you owe them your complete devotion.

It is time to lower the pedestals. Hold people in esteem, but remember that they are humans.

I am an old fandom soul, and I have had my heart broken with bands breaking up, television shows ending, with couples that I shipped not getting together and finding out that people I revered have made stupid mistakes.

It is time to stop jumping to conclusions without proper reading of the facts.

It is time to set aside purity culture and being outraged and throwing around terms without their proper meaning.

It is time to do better, to be better and to be kinder to everyone.

If you want to unfollow me or call me an apologist, so be it.

Last year, I was lonely, frightened and grieving the loss of my pet when a similar situation cropped up and I dealt with it all on my own. I have just enough strength to get this down, to speak my mind and open myself up for being attacked.

We have to do better.

#the situation #trigger warning: grooming #grooming mention #dan avidan #i am trying to be rational #i have swung between panic rage and disappointment #so help me out #i've scrolled twitter for hours and been unable to comment #fine if you want to attack me #but i still hold him in esteem

19 notes · View notes

blueorchidrp · 3 years

Text

LOOKING FOR NEW RP BUDDIES <3 [MXM || D/S THEMES || LITERATE]

Heya lovely people <3

(Brace yourselves, this is a long one! :D)

Recently, I've found myself in the mood to RP again after losing motivation during the beginning of the pandemic so I'm really hoping this ad will appeal to someone out there and I might find one or two new people to write with! :D

I'll go into detail about what I'm looking to RP in a second, but first of all, a little about me:

I'm female, 21+ and my time zone is GMT+1 (Central Europe). I'm an experienced writer and roleplayer of 10+ years. I exclusively write in 3rd person/past tense and would prefer for you to do the same.

English isn’t my first language but I’m pretty comfortable with it and I always try to keep mistakes to a minimum. Despite that, I hope you will excuse the occasional mistake! I would really prefer for you to have good spelling/grammar as well, but of course I’m not super pedantic about it and don’t mind typos from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, after all!

Usually I go for slower-paced RPs with longer replies since I'm not the fastest writer but recently I've really been in the mood for some faster-paced RPs and consequently, shorter replies. I usually aim for 300-1,500 words per reply but for this I would like to keep replies on the shorter side (at least on average and with no pressure from your side to conform to this, of course).

Obviously the length of the reply would still rely on what is happening in the RP - starters will naturally be longer than replies that heavily depend on how the other character will react.

I'm fine with having a short-term RP although I do enjoy plotting and also some occasional world-building (although admittedly I sometimes need a while to really pitch in with my ideas unless I'm already comfortable with my partners!) so long-term partners would be great!

I love chatting OOC, not only to discuss plot-related stuff but also to get to know who I am RPing with but it’s not mandatory and if you’d rather not that’s A-okay!

I prefer character-focused RPs, I’m not too good at writing action scenes and I tend to get bored of those rather quickly. I’d rather concentrate on my character’s feelings and his interactions with your character and focus on exploring their dynamic and thoughts.

I love conflict/tension in my RPs and I also love exploring more “philosophical” themes in them. I'm a huge fan of angst, (emotional) hurt & comfort, slow burn and similar genres but overall I do want an eventual happy ending. Occassional fluff is cute and more than fine as well, I just need some "meat" to the RP to keep me interested :D

Now, let’s go to what I’m craving the most right now:

I would very much like a RP that focuses on a (consensual) Dom/Sub relationship. I only do MxM pairings. I would prefer to play the dominant character for this.

I would prefer to involve at least some smut for this one (but we could also fade to black if preferred!) but overall I would really like to focus more on exploring the non-sexual aspects of the dynamic between our characters.

In general when it comes to smut, my characters tend to be switches who mainly top but if they do bottom they’re more along the lines of "power bottoms". In any case, they won’t just lie there and need your character to do all the work for them. (Obviously I can adjust that if you prefer to play the more dominant character)

For the D/s stuff I would ask that we discuss this more in depth in private, but in general I don't think I'm super kinky (I would rather not include too many "out there" ones) and my limits are pretty "standard" as well.

Broadly speaking my limits include: age play, bodily fluids, extreme kink/fetishes, mpreg, A/B/O, large age gaps, degradation.

Some key words of stuff I really enjoy (I'll try not to go overtly sexual):

- Devotion

- Obedience

- Praise Kink (!!)

- Collars/Leashes

- Kneeling

- Spanking

- Titles of Respect

- Terms of Endearment

- Begging

- ...

Some dynamics I enjoy (none of these are a must, of course! This is just to give you a general idea of what I might be looking for):

- the sub being a badass outside of the relationship and only being vulnerable around the dom

- the sub being physically stronger/bigger than the dom (!!!)

- the sub being rather shy/timid

- the dom being a little uncertain of what he wants in the beginning/needing to find himself as a dom

- also the dom in general also getting to be vulnerable

- the sub being super devoted/eager to please

- the sub taking care of the dom

- or: the dom taking care of the sub

- both being really in love with each other

These are the kinds of ideas I'd like to explore (Of course I'm also open to other scenarios/pairings as well, if you have something else in mind!):

Crime Boss x Right-Hand Man:

I'm really craving this one right now! I'm imaging this powerful mobster and his faithful right-hand man who is hopelessly devoted to his boss and willing to do whatever it takes to make sure his boss stays on top. I would prefer for the boss to be the dom and the right-hand man to be the sub.

Son of Crime Boss x Bodyguard:

Celebrity x Bodyguard:

For the first one I'm imagining that the son would be trying to make a name for himself and get out from under his father's thumb (and the bodyguard helping him). For the celebrity one I would imagine the celeb maybe being an actor or some sort of pop/rock star. I would prefer for the bodyguard to be the sub.

Royal x Servant, Royal x Knight:

This can be fantasy/historical (European/East Asian) or even modern. I'm imagining the servant/knight and the royal having been childhood friends and the servant/knight being raised with the knowledge that he would have to protect the royal once he grows up. I really enjoy the idea of one character swearing to serve another for the rest of his life. I would prefer for the knight/servant to be the sub and the royal to be the dom.

Elder Vampire x Fledgling Vampire:

Vampire x Human:

For the first one: Maybe the fledgling vampire was abandoned by his sire and the elder vampire finds him and decides to show him the ropes. For the second one: Maybe the human is a sort of ghoul (like from Vampire: the Masquerade) or human servant or maybe he's just someone the vampire stumbled across while out and about. I would prefer for the (elder) vampire to be the dom and the fledgling/human to be the sub here.

Best Friend x Best Friend:

I got the idea of these college-age guys that slowly discover that they like each other. Maybe they're childhood friends or maybe they've met in college. I’m happy to hear what ideas you might have for this pairing, of course, but a personal favourite of mine is to pair a more stoic (or even grumpy) leaner smart/sarcastic guy with a more jock-like/buff guy who is perpetually happy and optimistic who follows character A around and eventually endears himself to him through sheer persistence.

Soulmates:

I love exploring soulmate AUs, I’m a sucker for all variations of this trope but I’ve been thinking about an idea for a society that places each member of a bonded pair in one of two categories, and members of one category are treated as lesser in society/expected to serve their other half. For this I would definitely like to do some more world-building and really exploring the philosophy of this world as well! It would also be cool to have our character maybe fight against the expectations set by this society but I'm definitely open to other ideas as well!

Apart from that I enjoy a lot of different variations of the soulmate trope but my favourite is the classic idea that involves soulmates having a sort of mark on them that helps them identify who their partner is <3

Other:

Make a suggestion!

I don't have an pre-made OCs so I would come up with a character once we've decided on a plot but of course you can use whatever character you want! I usually don't use FC and just describe what I imagine my character to look like but if you can point me to some good FC ressources I would be willing to look for one if it's important to you! The ages of my characters depend on the plot/dynamic we're going for but they mostly tend to be around 20-45!

Fandoms: Harry Potter, Supernatural, Dragon Age, Detroit: Become Human, Vampires: the Masquerade, Marvel/Avengers, DC, Batman/Joker, Merlin (BBC), Shameless (US).

At the moment I really enjoy the pairing of Roman Sionis x Victor Zsasz (they're the inspiration for the Crime Boss x Right-Hand Man idea) so if anyone is up for that pairing as well, let me know! I also really enjoy the pairing Mickey x Ian (Gallavich) from the show Shameless, if anyone is interested in that one!).

I would prefer not to RP anything involving child abuse, underage characters in sexual situations, incest and similar themes. (I’m fine with these things being part of your character’s back story and your character dealing with the after-effects of them but I don’t want to actively RP them!).

I’m also exclusively looking for MxM pairings, so please don’t contact me if you’re looking for someone to RP a MxF plot with! And please be at least 18+. I don’t feel comfortable RPing with anyone younger, even if the RP doesn’t have any smut in it.

I mostly RP on Discord these days, but I'm also open to other mediums, mainly E-mail, tumblr or GoogleDocs!

I would prefer for you to already have a plot in mind (or at least a vague idea of what you want to roleplay) before contacting me!

Thank you for reading all of this! Have a great day & stay safe and healthy!

Contact:

Discord: blueorchid [hashtag] 8092

E-mail: blueorchid.roleplay [at] gmail [dot] com

Or message me here on tumblr! :D

#mxm #mxm roleplay #oc roleplay #oc #slash #roleplay #rp

10 notes · View notes

thejustmaiden · 4 years

Text

Fiction and Real Life Go Hand In Hand

This blog goes out to all those pro-Sessrin fans out there who refuse to acknowledge the very real effects fiction can have on our world and vice versa. I highly encourage other Inuyasha fans who defend/enable these shippers to read this, as well. I assure you, by no means are my intentions here to stir up trouble. Honestly, I just want some good healthy discourse for once if that’s not too much to ask. If you do decide to engage, please be mindful of that and treat others with respect and I will do the same in return. All in all, the goal of this blog is to exercise my right to speak out and be critical about content I believe to have very potentially detrimental repercussions. I ask that you not attack me or insult me simply for stating an opinion. Thank you!

It’s like the title says, meaning fiction does matter. Where do you think we get ideas for all the stories we tell? Where do we draw inspiration from in the first place?

Real life, that's where! And yes, always with a touch of imagination! Long story short: fiction matters because real life does.

Allow me to elaborate.

Shippers of the Sesshomaru x Rin (Sessrin) pairing say it's not fair of us to throw around serious accusations or use certain deragatory terms that suggest such awful acts like child grooming or pedophilia because of the harmful implications. One of their reasonings being that some people IRL have actually lived through these traumas, so we shouldn't dare to assume they're comparable since one is just fiction and the other is not. But this isn’t about which is worse than the other, because they’re both super problematic. All we’re literally doing is making a link between grooming in real life and grooming in fiction. They mirror each other. Same issue; different mediums. We’re not undermining any one’s past experiences with grooming or the like, nor are we prioritizing fiction to diminish real life abuse. They’re both awful in numerous ways and that’s all we’re trying to say. In fact, if anything we’re attempting to demonstrate just how crucial this correlation is between them. In order to protect past victims and prevent future ones, we must remain vigiliant of the content we consume, and yes, sometimes that means we have to challenge it too. Just because it’s widely-viewed does not make it widely-accepted or well-received. It is paramount that we educate ourselves on how to be more critical of some of the harmful tropes and images that are still way too prevalent in mainstream media. Sexualizing young and pre-pubescent girls is way more normalized than some of us even realize. It’s sad but true that Sessrin is just one of many examples. I know it feels like society has failed us in a lot of ways, but it’s never too late to re-evaluate and re-learn better and more improved ways of viewing and processing information presented to us.

Our mission: Let’s not show our kids that grooming or any other form of abuse are acceptable if they may ever come to experience or encounter it themselves. Be it the real world or on screen. Deal?

There have been a number of occasions where real life victims do speak up against the Sessrin ship and express how extremely uncomfortable it makes them feel by what it represents. The problem is that it’s becoming more evident now that many of their fans will dismiss anything purely on the basis that we pose a threat to their ship and nothing more. What it comes down to is they have no real leg to stand on and cannot possibly top any of what we have to say so instead they simply disregard it. Our inconvenient truths don't fit into their ideal *cough* OOC *cough* narrative so they just choose to be willfully ignorant. It conflicts with their fantasy, so rather than present a sound argument of their own, they flat-out reject it and offer no plausible back-up behind their reasoning besides "I don't interpret it that way." GUYS, CHILD GROOMING IS NOT UP FOR INTERPRETATION.

Just because you so desperately want your ship to come true does not mean you can up and decide to redefine a word so that it caters to your stance. Remind yourself that these are complex AND objective terms that we have no right to fiddle with to serve our own selfish purposes. This is why we can conclude that there's no debate about Sesshomaru's actions towards Rin embodying child grooming.

I apologize if any of my words are triggering by the way, so please feel free to take a break and return later if that’s more suitable for you. it's just really important that everyone in this fandom comprehends the extent in which Sessrin going canon is catastrophic. And no, I'm not exaggerating; I'm simply speaking the truth. Shippers justifying these horrible acts- yes, even in fiction- is usually due to the stubborn refusal to hear us out. No offense to anyone (just stating facts), but more times than not antis like myself feel as if we’re talking to a brick wall when we interact with Sessrin peeps. They go in circles and never expand on their perspectives.

Just a head’s up: THIS GETS LONG. Stick with me. :p

Just look at their take on the Inukag vs. Sessrin relationships for example. This isn't a question of age gaps, this is a question of physical/emotional compatibility. Inukag are the same age mentally wise regardless of one being demon and the other not, whereas Sessrin is not and never will be, and yes, even once she's an adult. The thing is we have debunked this time and time again, because they’re not the same and therefore not comparable, but for some reason these fans won’t drop it. Nothing has changed in their argument, yet they’re persistent in bringing it up. I choose to not go into more detail, since like I said, you can find it around everywhere. I just wanted to touch upon it briefly to prove a point. Maybe it will come up again later in my blog though!

Where was I earlier? Right, child grooming! Haven't you guys realized that what you’re doing is precisely what child groomers do to make excuses or deny any grooming took place at all? (FYI: I’m not accusing you of being child groomers yourselves.) “They reciprocated so the feelings are mutual" is a typical groomer response, but of course it varies. More often than not, victims of grooming aren't even aware they've been groomed until much later. That's how manipulative groomers are that they can legitmately convince you that maybe you're wrong in questioning their motives. Perhaps in the victim’s mind that because one huge indicator of grooming never actually took place it technically cannot constitute as grooming. They start to doubt themselves even though their intuition is telling them something’s off. They should just ignore it then since it can’t possibly be grooming if that one particular thing never happened, right? Wrong, grooming isn’t strictly this or strictly that. It's much more complicated and multi-faceted. This is why the “but Sesshomaru left Rin in the village” point upsets me greatly. HE WAS STILL INVOLVED IN HER LIFE, Y’ALL.

On top of that, are you aware that this is the exact same kind of predatory mindset pedophiles use to describe their infatuation with children? They'll say things like, "I don't see them as an adult and a child. I see them as two people with a soul connection." Okay no joke, I wish I was lying, but that is literally a point one pro-sessrin fan on here recently used to defend this ship. It both astounds me and terrifies me that they don't see the glaring similarities they share in common with actual pedos.

Alright, I want to quickly return to what I was saying earlier about fiction's impact on real life. (Sorry, I’m a bit of a scatterbrain!)

The characters and their worlds in our stories that we dream up and bring to life are nothing short of awe-inspiring and magnificent if we so choose them to be. If it wasn't for our imaginations, stories like Inuyasha would have never come to exist. Fiction provides us an amazing outlet where we are given the opportunity to express ourselves and explore its infinite creative possibilities.

But strip away all the demons and magical components of this show we all love so dearly and what are we left with?

At the very core, Inuyasha is a story that's very reminiscent of the human experience: love, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, and much more!

So perhaps we got a full-fledged dog demon like Sesshomaru, but does that necessarily mean we can't relate to him or understand him simply because dog demons don't exist in the real world? Well, I hope that's not how you view it or else you're missing the whole point of why humans create stories to begin with. We create them to make better sense of and thus connect with the world we live in. And when you really think about it, our stories are just a celebration of life- both our struggles and our triumphs. Now I'm no philosophy professor, but I'm pretty sure they'd say I hit that nail right smack on the head. ;)

All shitty jokes aside, the whole reason I’m mentioning this specific example in the first place is because this recently came up with another Sessrin supporter. That supporter tried to defend the ship by stating that we aren't allowed to use Sesshomaru as an example to judge by since his kind don't exist in the real world.

Now if it isn't evident already, this "it's just fiction" argument is a popular go-to stance many Sessrin fans will resort to once they've run out of ideas and are metaphorically backed into a corner. The funny/sad thing is that they seem to sincerely believe this is strong enough evidence to defend their ship with, but per usual, they fail to see how hypocritical that would be. I’ll clarify soon down below.

Seriously, since when did we decide that fantasy- or any story genre for that matter- stopped reflecting the real world we live in? I mean, we humans are the ones writing these stories. Our human influence is bound to make an impact in some capacity. In fact, we want it to!

Obviously none of us have ever met a dog demon like Sesshomaru, because how could we? Let me tell ya, this is gaslighting at its finest! This is a fictional story with fantasy elements, so of course there will be beings and creatures in their world that don't exist in our own. Does that somehow translate to the fact that nothing from the story of Inuyasha can be applied to our own personal stories or that there aren't meaningful messages to be taught and learned?

So on the flipside, if they're not screaming at us "it's just fiction" for the hundred billionth time, then they are, believe it or not, doing the reverse and comparing it to real world history. One instance of this is how they tell us we're making a big deal about something that isn't real, but go right ahead and use the history of feudal Japan to support Sesshomaru's decision to court (aka GROOM) a young girl because that's how it was done back then. And so, your point being?? It wasn't right then just because it was legal, and it's most certainly not right now. This is how all of their arguments go by the way, where you'll constantly witness a cherry-picking approach. It's agonizing to endure contradiction after contradiction in their arguments filled with nothing but holes in their logic.

I'd just like to add that if we're overreacting to this fictional ship like they love to say we are then technically so are they. They tell us things like "grow up" or "nobody is telling you to keep watching," yet fail to realize they're reacting just as fervently as we are but just on the opposing side of the same damn argument. I find it interesting how they're as invested in this show but pretend they aren't then STILL have the audacity to say it's only us who care this much!? So thank you Sessrin shippers for further proving our point that fiction is more than capable of affecting reality and the people- YES, US- who reside in it.

It's insane that people act like pedophiles and other creeps don't enjoy entertainment too like the rest of us. Believe it or not, they look just like you and me most of the time. Yes, that means they can easily pass as a “regular guy” if they so wished to. My question to you is how do you think pedophiles will take it when they discover others- underage fans more specifically- who dig the same kinda media they get off to? Maybe not in the exact same way, mind you, but there's a thin line between them when you really think about it. I mean, what other explanation is there for why literal pedos on the internet have been known to sneak into pro-sessrin group chats here on Tumblr before? (Thankfully, they were later kicked.) I know that for a fact! It's almost as if the universe is trying to tell them something they refuse to listen to elsewhere. Hhmmm I wonder what that may be.

I imagine it’s possibly one of the hardest things to admit out loud and to themselves, but I can almost guarantee you that most of these Sessrin shippers who are victims of CSA and who still see no issue with Sessrin must be living with some sort of unresolved trauma caused by the very abuse they claimed to have undergone. It's been proven that victims who do not seek or properly receive the help and treatment they need in order to address and live with a traumatic experience such as this are more likely to perpetuate that very same abuse themselves in some way, shape or form. What if in this case fiction is enough for them, but who's to say it won’t eventually manifest itself in other more dire and far-reaching ways? It's not like we haven't seen this vicious cycle before, and I can promise you that Sessrin won't be the last. LET'S STOP NORMALIZING & GLORIFYING THE ROMANTIZATION & SEXUALIZATION OF CHILDREN. Fictional example: Usagi Drop. Need I say more? Real world example: Woody Allen. Again, need I say more?

Bottom line is that Sessrin shippers don't want us to think too critically about this ship of theirs, because if we dig too deep then they're forced to face the very troubling implications this pairing really stands for. Of course they'll never admit to them, because instead they rather double down and grasp at the same old straws as long as it means their precious ship is protected at all costs. Screw everyone else if that's what it takes, because they'll threaten to burn down legit buildings in real life if that ensures Sessrin goes canon! (True story, this happened on Twitter.) They’ll taunt and bully anyone who disagrees. Even if all you literally say is that you don’t like the ship, they’ll gang up on you. Tell them about your past experience with being groomed? They’ll laugh in your face. I wish I was kidding, but I assure you I am not. And they say we're ridiculous and taking this way too seriously? Yeah...

The typical behavior of a Sessrin shipper demonstrates an overly aggressive front since they're usually on defense mode anyway. They only want to ship their sick ship in peace in other words. But just because neo-nazis have a right to spew their bigoted ideology, doesn't mean we don't got the right to punch them! Freedom of speech doesn't equate to freedom from consequences. And Sessrin shippers wonder why they got so many haters. Just sayin'.

Their presence on other platforms like Twitter and Reddit are some examples of how delusional and unstable some Sessrin fans are capable of becoming. Even recently, an anon here on Tumblr sent Richard Ian Cox (English VA for Inuyasha) a totally uncalled for ask telling him that "sessrin is love and there's nothing he can do about it." (That's not verbatim, but if you're interested I'll link you to it.) It appears they discovered that he didn't like Sessrin based on how he had been replying to asks, and just for that reason alone they thought they had the right to harass him. For simply stating his opinion, y'all. They didn't even have the decency to show their face either. Talk about immature and cowardly!

Just yesterday (or was it the day before?) a fanatic Sessrin user on Tumblr- who’s also been known for hateful remarks on Twitter but those tweets have of course been deleted since then- went out of their way to not only lurk in a group chat they don’t belong to on here but to then proceed to harass a few of us in there. They had the guts to take screenshots from that group chat, tag us in posts on their page regarding what they read in there, and without our knowledge or permission went ahead and actually blogged them?? I mean, who calls out people behind their backs while they're just minding their own business?? It worries me how unhinged and out of touch with reality some Sessriners are. Not all of them, but a whole lot of them.

It seems all they are doing is looking for trouble, as they just can't stand how much we hate this ship. So it's more than okay if they love on their ship but it's not okay if we don't and we should just keep our mouths shut. But since when do Sessrin fans have authority over our opinions? Even if they were officially canon, nothing is ever gonna change our opinion. Now when they actually do decide to participate in discourse with antis, you'll see them fishing for excuses to bow out. How they normally go about this is by fabricating a way to blame us antis for their exiting a conversation as if we're being the irrational ones here.

There’s no denying that some antis can also be overly blunt or aggressive (nobody is saying we’re perfect here), but speaking for myself, I know I would never make such nasty comments about other fans and their personal lives. And honestly? It would make me feel like shit talking bad about someone I don't actually know. Nah, I won't stoop to that level or give haters that satisfaction. I may not attack them as people, but that doesn't mean I can't attack some of their messed up ideas that threaten to distort how we should or shouldn’t perceive certain dangerous situations and events. Seeing as how for me this is more than just a matter of opinion- it's a moral responsibility and even an obligation.

I know it's difficult to remain civil when things get heated and people start taking things personally- yet more proof that fiction impacts our lives- but that's the only way any of us will ever have constructive discussions about serious topics like this. Unfortunately, Sessrin shippers, from what I can tell, are incapable of engaging in real discourse for the most part. They may be vocal but that doesn't mean they can pack a punch. I’d really love to be proven wrong someday.

Okay, moving on! If they're not involved in some big-time gaslighting then they're using their infamous strawman argument approach.

Sessrin fans’ sole purpose isn't really to defend their ship, per se, but rather to deflect and antagonize. They like to mislead in order to shift the focus/blame onto their opponent or something else that's not related so that they can stray from the main point.

Take the drama CD for example. It's officially NOT considered canon, right? But that hasn't stopped many fans from referencing it anyway so let’s too consider it for a moment. The point is that they use its "existence" whenever convenient then deny it or downplay it whenever it’s not. So on one hand, it's plain as day that they celebrate it as proof of a romantic future for Sessrin. But then later once we point out to them that Sesshomaru is essentially confessing to Rin that he will wait for her until she's of age, they'll brush it off and quickly add that they didn't interpret the scene that way and leave it at that. I mean how else would you interpret it? And if it's not a proposal of sorts then why exactly are you bouncing off the walls about it to begin with?? If that's all it means is nothing then why are we even talking about this?! You see what I mean here??! And somehow we're the crazy ones?

Let me to be frank with you. If you haven’t listened to it already, this proposal he offered her sounded like a declaration of love in a multitude of ways, which is wildly inappropriate since Rin was only 12 at the time. Signifying that Sesshomaru was/is indeed grooming her. Well, that is if you choose to recognize the drama CD. Nevertheless, whether you do or not, I personally hate that this non-canon satire is even associated with the Inuyasha name to begin with. Ugh.

Intentional or not, Sesshomaru made a deliberate decision in that moment to tell a little girl- and not just any little girl mind you but a girl he's taken in under his care for a good year- that he would wait for her if she so chooses once she's old enough.

The issue is that it isn’t only age of consent we’re concerned about regarding this pairing. What Sessriners fail to see is that this grown male authority- her vassal, her guardian, her adoptive father, or whatever you wanna refer to him as- is basically making a move on this girl he had in his company for quite some time. There's no sugarcoating that. Us antis call it how it is, and I'm sure as fucking day other people who don't watch the show would most certainly agree that the Sesshomaru/Rin bond is filial. Set aside those rose-tinted glasses of yours, and going by everything we’ve been delivered in the manga and parts of the anime (and NOT the drama cd), there are literally no hints that indicate a blossoming romance between this adult male demon and this small human girl he’s taken under his wing. You can imagine them all you want if it pleases you, but that doesn’t mean they’re there. Adult!Rin is a figment of your imagination, nothing more. The idolization of this pairing is pretty disturbing seeing as all we have to go off of in canon is Child!Rin. There have only ever been sweet and innocent moments passed between the two, which is why I’m positive that an unbiased viewer or an outsider would state their dynamic resembled something akin to a father-daugther relationship. I would bet a shit ton of money on that, believe you me!

Rin's inhibitions are low because children are naturally naive and don't know any better. Remember, she adores and trust this man with all her heart, so why would she think any of this so-called grooming is not normal behavior. (I only say “so-called grooming” because I don’t think Sesshomaru bringing her gifts in the village has to be a romantic thing.) Or how would she ever be able to understand that she’s being taken advantage of if she has no previous experience with it? Maybe if she was present for that time Inuyasha and the gang scolded Miroku when they had learned that years previous he had supposedly proposed to this young girl in the village they were visiting, then Rin would. And he didn’t even assist in helping raise her but look at how they reacted! How is this any different than Sesshomaru hooking up with Rin later? It’s actually worse in Sessrin's case. Do you honestly believe that Inuyasha and the others would take kindly to this?

It's not uncommon and considered harmless for young children to have crushes on adults, after all, but the adults in these scenarios should never resort to using and abusing the position of power they held or continue to hold over this child for any reason whatsoever.

What I'm trying to get across here is that no matter how you spin it, Sessrin can NEVER be deemed a morally acceptable pairing. Like ship what you want, we're not saying you can't ship Sessrin. What we're saying is this:

STOP referring to their bond as "pure" and not expect backlash for your grossly inaccurate statements. Just admit it's toxic, because it's extremely harmful to many viewers- and not just victims- to pretend and suggest otherwise.

Please remind yourself of the very real canon fact that Rin traveled with Sesshomaru and they established a bond all while she was just a girl. Oh, and he saved her life too many times to count, not to mention brought her back from the dead TWICE. This is why I don't care much for your counter argument "that dynamics can change over time," because although that's true, like with everything in life there must be standards we adhere to. Exceptions to rules, if you will. Our own basic morals demand it.

For instance, it’s normal that some childhood friends begin to like each other as more than friends years down the road. Nothing wrong with that, because that's a natural and healthy occurrence. Now you cannot apply this to an adult and a child for obvious reasons, but what you also cannot do is apply this to an adult who met and knew another adult while they were still just a child. Why? Well, because it'd be like betraying and perverting that former child's view of you. They were never your equal because your established dynamic resembles that of one an adult posesses with a child even once they've grown up. Think about it this way: it's in the same bracket of family members or family friends who've watched you grow up and mature into an adult. Then later just because they're all grown up, does that mean that those children "are not off bounds" - that's quoting a Sessrin shipper by the way- to these certain family members and family friends?

If you're still struggling to grasp this, I urge you to take a moment (or all the time you need!) to really put yourself in that child's shoes and self-reflect. Would you truly be alright with a family friend you haven't seen in years (but sorely missed because they used to occasionally babysit you) just someday coming back into your life and then very inappropriately flirting with you or even making sexual advances on you? (Sorry for the run-on!) Or even worse, can you picture this happening to one of your own children??! Seriously, ask yourself that and sit with that for a while and really take it all in. It’s not fun, I know, but if that’s what it takes to help you finally understand then please try and practice more ways to utilize your self-awareness in the future. It’s for everyone’s benefit, not only yours, I promise! You'll also find it makes it tremendously easier to empathize with others.

I got news for those fans who don’t view Sesshomaru as a father figure to Rin. The title we give him doesn’t hold as much weight as a lot of us are making it out to be. Let’s try to be neutral here and stick to the hard facts, shall we?

*Sesshomaru is an adult male authority whose protection Rin is under*

*It’s safe to assume that Rin has grown attached to him and maybe even looks up to him*

*They care about each other and the other's well-being*

*He has has played a crucial part in her supervision and care for a significant period of time (yes, even if it’s just passing a message along to Jaken)*

Not so random anecdote: In an Inuyasha episode I recently revisited, Sesshomaru had just rescued Rin from Kohaku who had been possessed by Naraku and was ordered to kill Rin. Anyway, at the end of their scene you can hear Jaken ask out loud, “what should we do for dinner, Lord Sesshomaru?” And that’s about the most domestic thing I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth. They’re such a family dammit and nothing will ever change that!! <3

This is precisely why I could never in a million years view those past students of mine in a romantic light. I don't care how many years have passed, it's just not possible for me. Just the idea of pursuing a romantic and/or sexual relationship absolutely repels me.

Speaking as a former teacher, you don't need to be a parental figure who's around all the time in order to have great love and affection for a child. I would've done absolutely anything in my power to protect them even though they weren't my own. Then again, I did consider them my children in a way even if wasn't in a familial sense. Does that make my love for them any less unique? No, it's just different but not inferior. When you stop to think about, it really doesn't take as long as you may think to establish rapport with a person, particularly children. Connecting with a child is almost instant (but of course some are more receptive than others), and once you do make that special connection one can only make with a child, a strong and overwhelming need to guide and protect them kicks in almost automatically. The unconditional love an adult feels for a child is powerful and constant, and nothing should ever change that. As much as some of you really want to believe otherwise, that feeling doesn’t just go away because they turned 18. In your eyes, they’ll always be that kid.

I get it, sometimes when we escape into these fictional worlds of ours, it's difficult not to project our own wishes and desires onto certain characters. I don't blame fans for picturing themselves with Sesshomaru- I know I did haha- but never once did I self-insert myself as Rin. I know she's one of the biggest catalysts for his character growth- if not THE biggest- but how and why does that need to turn romantic? There are other antis who I have spoken with on this. They informed me that they used to live vicariously through Rin and ship them together, as well. As they got older, they later learned how weird and twisted this ship actually was. That's what's supposed to happen, y'all, you're supposed to grow out of that fixation.

Now take your mind out of the Inuyasha universe for a second and hypothetically (or not hypothetically if you have kids) answer me this: if and/or when you ever have a child, would you genuinely be comfortable with the idea of them dating and eventually marrying their father’s best friend who was also there to witness them grow up? Be honest please.

I highly doubt you would want that- or at least I hope not. You see, that's another MAJOR point I've made a few times already and yet you Sessrin shippers continue to avoid the question. It's pretty obvious it hasn't been rhetorical either. Ignorance is bliss?

Finally, I’d like to address one more point. It seems there is a HUGE misconception and I'd like to clear it up real quick. That is Sessrin shippers misinterpret one of the issues we have with this ship. They chalk up our complaints of Sessrin being canon (which is a LIE, nothing has been confirmed yet) to us just being salty because that somehow means our ships aren't or won’t be. I assure you, readers, other antis and I will attest that this ain't about dumb shipping wars, this is so much bigger than that!!!

I noticed recently that some Sessrin fans have even begun calling us Karens lolol like if anybody is a Karen it's them! This ain't about some mere difference in taste, this is very likely to have LONG-LASTING NEGATIVE EFFECTS. Sessrin going canon is a very harmful message to send viewers and children/teens especially. So if anything, it’s these shippers who are being the entitled ones here thinking that the fact we don’t support their ship is the worst thing in the world. NO, THE REAL PROBLEM IS CHILD GROOMING. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Out of nowhere, some of them even started assuming all us antis were white, which in their books is also equivalent to Karens or even white supremacists somehow?? Those aren't one in the same, but it's easy to make it appear that way when the US is currently tackling major systems of oppression and racial injustice. Because to them, all antis must be from over here. (Yes, I'm American. But no, I'm not white.) How else can anyone explain not shipping Sessrin, right?! Somehow they have it in their heads that ALL of Japan and surrounding places are super approving of this ship, and that everyone else isn’t because of their upbringing and “Western way of thinking.”

To give you an idea of what I mean, look back at what I talked about earlier with their incessant mention of Sessrin vs. Inukag. Because THIS is another popular example of how these shippers present their side and then ignore all the facts. Many fans have already proven how fucked up and inaccurate it is to label whole countries and cultures. It’s like they simply think mentioning it makes it count even though we’ve discredited their points over and over. Nah, you got to back it up with good reasons that support your side of the argument. That’s How To Have An Argument: 101. So at the end of the day, all they're actually achieving in doing is making dumb and entirely unrelated accusations based on nothing just to lead to deductions that are equally unfounded. Nothing at all is accomplished but more gaslighting and hurling of insults on their part = a complete waste of time for antis = an excuse for them to peace out early from the conversation & that’s what they wanted all along

We’ve reached the end (finally! sorry for all the rambling!), and I hope those of you who stayed till the end or read enough can take something positive out of this. As many Inuyasha fans are aware, there will be a livestream with the VAs for Sesshomaru and Rin coming out within the next few hours. We don’t have all the details yet, and afterwards we probably still won’t. I’m not just talking about Sessrin here but about the sequel in general. Whatever happens, please just remember to be kind to one another. If you don’t think you’re capable of doing that, then it’s best you vent and fume elsewhere. Easier said than done, I know, but just try. Throughout this blog, I admit there were moments where I got frustrated and took some jabs at Sessrin shippers. Please believe me when I say that I do not and would not ever wish any of you ill will.

Inuyasha was such a huge part of my childhood, and I’m not gonna lie, I’m anxious as hell that Sunrise will ruin one of the best things I loved about this show. So pardon me if my reactions are too visceral for your liking. haha Also, like the movies and the drama cd, this sequel is not in fact canon. Therefore, for those of you who disagree or who still plan to enjoy this new series, respect the fact that some of us fans will definitely “cancel” it if we feel that’s what we have to do to come to terms with it and move on. Fans have that right, after all. Why should we get on board with something if it’s so uncharacteristic of and unrecognizable from the original source material? If all this is some sort of cash grab of Sunrise’s doing, then count me out. I truly hope that this sequel turn outs being a lot more promising than a lot of us are expecting. I’m begging you, Sunrise, I wanna believe you’re better than this. Please and thank you!

By the way, if you’re interested, feel free to check out my two other blogs on this same subject. Click here and here. The last two screenshots do not come from something I’ve written myself. If you’d like to read more from where those came from, let me know and I’d be more than happy to send you the links. Okay, bye for now. Peace out and stay safe, everyone!

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru #rin

66 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 4 years

Note

Why do you like Lore Olympus? I'm genuinely curious because I've seen a lot of harsh criticisms toward the comic, from its inaccuracies regarding its use of Greek Mythology to the plethora of harmful queer stereotypes. I tried reading it myself but honestly, if you took out all the Greek Mythology references and naming, it just seems like another "far older man courts a barely adult woman" love story with bad queer rep thrown it.

Happy to explain! Let’s tackle what’s perhaps the most complicated aspect first.

As a former Classics major I can tell you that there is no “Greek Mythology.” Meaning, there is no singular Greek Mythology that can be referenced and consulted in any uniform way. Which is a really difficult thing to conceptualize in an age of print publications and careful record keeping. Unsure about whether Harry ever cursed Draco with such-and-such hex? Re-read the Harry Potter books to find out. Want to claim that Sherlock was horrible to Watson and frequently insulted him? We can comb through Doyle’s shorts stories and novels, tally every insult, and find out. These are canons and, as messy as the term “canonical” has become with more adaptations and transmedia storytelling, most characters have a set, fixed existence that we can return to and use as evidence. Not so with Greek Mythology. Born of oral storytelling, there are a hundred different versions of every myth, some changes more stark than others. Some of those versions were written down. Then written down again (differently). Then written down again (differently still). Then we realized they were almost all being written down by men and huh, I wonder if that has any impact on how they framed the story (spoiler: it absolutely does). And all of this doesn’t even take into account the issue of translation. Regardless of what Ovid may have put down on the page, you’re going to get a different experience depending on whether you read Melville or Gregory. There’s a reason why everyone was so excited over Emily Wilson being the first woman to translate The Odyssey into English. Her perspective and her experience as a woman by default changes the way she approaches the text. Even something as simple as a single description can have a HUGE impact depending on how it is translated. Take this excerpt from a NYT article:

“The prefix poly,” Wilson said, laughing, “means ‘many’ or ‘multiple.’ Tropos means ‘turn.’ ‘Many’ or ‘multiple’ could suggest that he [Odysseus] is much turned, as if he is the one who has been put in the situation of having been to Troy, and back, and all around, gods and goddesses and monsters turning him off the straight course that, ideally, he’d like to be on. Or, it could be that he’s this untrustworthy kind of guy who is always going to get out of any situation by turning it to his advantage. It could be that he’s the turner.”

Is Odysseus a poor victim turned around by monsters and fate, or is he a schemer capable of turning it all to his advantage? It all depends on how it’s translated and whoever wants to make a case for Odysseus being a “good” or “bad” guy can point to this translation as evidence… or another. Or another. There are just too many versions for anyone to definitely say what these gods and others are “really” like.

I put so much emphasis on this because the biggest criticism I’ve seen leveled against the comic is the characterization of Apollo. He would never rape Persephone! How dare you twist his character like that! Except Apollo isn’t a character that exists in a fixed canon. He belongs to an overwhelming corpus of complicated, contrary, contrasting myths… and yes, in some of those he raped. Arguably. It, again, comes down to translation and interpretation. Take this excerpt from Nancy Rabinowitz’s paper “Greek Tragedy: A Rape Culture?”

Creusa, raped by Apollo years ago, conceived a child and abandoned him… For the purposes of this paper, I have to address the question of whether Creusa was in fact raped by the god. Hermes mixes the terminology in the prologue; he asserts that the god Apollo “yoked the daughter of Erechtheus in marriage (γάμοις)”, but he also says “by force (βίᾳ)” (10-11). Ion later (1524-25; cf. 341, 325) wonders whether Creusa was really raped, or whether she was just alleging that the god took her by violence to cover up an indiscretion of her own – a similar situation could be imagined in our own day, where false allegations may arise from young girls’ fear of confessing consensual relations to their parents. Lefkowitz argues that women tend to cooperate in their seduction by a god. While it might seem obvious that Ion is simply wrong, there is the further implication that though Apollo raped Creusa, she also desired him” (11-12).

So if we’re looking for evidence that Smythe’s interpretation of Apollo is the “correct” one, it exists… depending on what you read and how you choose to interpret it: whether a mortal woman can ever truly give consent due to the power difference between her and a god, whether it was safe to say no, whether she might have lied to protect herself, whether it was something a part of her desired but perhaps didn’t entirely want, etc. It’s that last bit in particular—those difficult questions—that Smythe explores in her comic. Persephone wants to explore her sexuality. She wants a way out of her virgin obligations. But she’s also pressured into sex by Apollo. He doesn’t stop when she expresses discomfort. She doesn’t feel safe asserting herself and telling him to stop. It’s rape, but it’s a far more complicated situation than the rape scenario of “Evil man forces himself on woman in the back of an alleyway” and Smythe treats the tragedy with nuance and respect, even in a comic filled with so much humor.

The people I see most upset about Lore Olympus are those who talk about the gods and their associated mortals as if they’re characters out of a book. They read one version once—or maybe two—and, as is natural in the 21st century, decided that This Is How The Story Goes. Even though every academic would be losing their mind over such definitive statements as, “Such-and-Such would never do this.” That’s simply not how records this ancient, sporadic, political, and downright messy work. So as someone with some knowledge of how Greek Mythology functions, I’m not at all put off by the comics’ “inaccuracies.” Because they’re simply not inaccuracies, just interpretations. Not liking those interpretations is fine, but that doesn’t mean Smythe was wrong for providing them.

As for the rest, I’ll try to limit myself to bullet points:

The age difference between Persephone and Hades is definitely A Thing and I admittedly didn’t realize that was the case when I started reading. I assumed that Persephone, like most of the cast, was hundreds/thousands of years old and just had a child-like personality. I basically realized around the time Hades did that she’s so young. That being said, the issue of age differences changes for me once you reach such insane ages. That’s why I still ship Ozqrow: Ozpin is hundreds of years older than him but at that point he’s going to be older than everyone. Always. Limiting his ships to only those who are close to Ozpin’s age means you can’t ship him at all (unless you ship him with Salem post-grimm pool and… no). It’s a similar situation with Hades. Yes, there are plenty of gods his age that he could date (and indeed he does) but he is always going to be thousands of years older than Persephone. She can literally never catch up to him, so if someone has an issue with the age gap then they have to accept that it will simply never go away. They can never be a couple in which case yeah, then the comic just isn’t your thing.

Really, I think the bigger issue is not the gap itself but Persephone’s age, period. Again though, I appreciate that Smythe treats the situation with a great deal of respect. This isn’t a story of a much older man hunting a younger woman. It’s the story of a much older god who, like me the reader, assumed he had fallen for a slightly younger goddess… and then freaked out when he found out he was wrong. He’s called out for his ignorance. Others are incredibly protective of Persephone. They both try to stay away from one another and find themselves struggling. Which, to be frank, is an interesting dilemma to me. And it’s one I’m more interested in with gods as characters as opposed to humans. Because it feels less predatory to me. A man going after a much younger woman is threatening in part because we’re mortals who have so much to lose, including our youth. If you enter an abusive relationship that alone is horrible enough, but it also means you’ve lost all those years and all that experience to toxicity. When a god goes after a much younger goddess… they’re kind of static. They have eternity stretching out before them. Persephone potentially “losing” ten years to a relationship with Hades just isn’t the same thing as a mortal losing ten years to a relationship of their own. Gods, though they seem quite human, simply aren’t and thus for me questions of morality and what’s ethical in any given situation changes. We have a cast who, when Eros gets upset and murders a whole bunch of humans, Zeus shrugs and says they’ll just make more. Their concept of right and wrong differs from ours and it invites the reader to apply that to every situation: is it as wrong for an older god to go after a 19yo goddess as it would be for an older man to go after a 19yo woman? Many readers may decide it is—to some extent the text decides it is—but the story still possesses ambiguity and invites the reader to grapple with it. That’s compelling.

Connected to this, I like how much agency Persephone has throughout the series. She’s very much a character who defies expectations, particularly when it comes to her sexuality. Far from being a meek, vulnerable woman who is preyed on by Hades, she is making constant, active decisions about her own romantic and sexual encounters. Even if that decision is just acknowledging how unsure she still is: does she want to remain a virgin? Does she want Apollo? Does she want Hades? Is it okay to make out with Ares? Wear this very short dress? Get drunk? Explore a city? Invite this person over? Have feelings for your boss? Persephone is grappling with a lot of questions that don’t have easy answers and the fact that the story gives her the room to do that grappling is fantastic. I’ve spoken before about my dislike of the Strong Female Character—someone who is not just physically intimidating but who also never, EVER hesitates. She knows precisely what she wants and she’s going to take it! Which is a great portrayal of one kind of woman… but I’m not that kind. I hem and haw and am anxious like Persephone. So for me it’s refreshing to see a story that paints uncertainty as strength. She’s allowed the space to be unsure and confused and is never belittled for that.

Honestly I’m not sure what the issue with the queer rep is? Beyond the fact that Lore Olympus doesn’t seem to have any (unless I’m forgetting some. Very possible). Which, admittedly, is far from great, but if I dismissed every story due solely to a lack of queer characters I would limit a lot of my potential media. So for me, personally, that’s not a deal breaker. Taking a stab in the dark, I’ll make an assumption that people are upset about certain characterizations like Eros? Which, fair. But we also have the flip side that effeminate, flamboyant men do exist. It’s another complicated, touchy subject, but there’s a fine line between enforcing stereotypes and acknowledging that those stereotypes often do arise out of something. Some people hate the media image of the queer kid decked out in rainbows. Other people look at their own wardrobe and backpack and go, “Actually… yeah. That can be accurate.” For me stereotypes are primarily an issue given their prevalence. It’s an issue when that’s the only way queer characters are portrayed, but Lore Olympus doesn’t have that problem because, again, it’s focused on het relationships. Eros might potentially be a (non-confirmed?) queer stereotype… or he’s a battle-hardened warrior who also likes to gush about gossip while baking, the sort of complex gender portrayal that people claim to want. It depend on how you approach it. So no, Lore Olympus isn’t breaking any ground with queer rep but, as said, I do appreciate how it treats sexual assault—among other sensitive, relevant issues. It’s a trade-off. No piece of media is going to be perfect. I could say the same thing about so many great stories. The Mandalorian doesn’t have any queer rep! No, it doesn’t, but it is giving us a fantastic story about a bounty-hunter turned dad that challenges a number of Western gender assumptions so… trade-off.

I likewise enjoy that characters call one another out on shitty, toxic behavior without completely losing who those characters are. (Again, supposedly who they are based on the lecture I gave at the start lol). Meaning, it would be kind of weird if Zeus wasn’t a womanizer. That’s what we expect of him, so changing that would likewise change one of the most fundamental aspects of what makes Zeus-Zeus in the general public’s perception of him. But we still have scenes of Hera and others calling him out on that shit, so it’s a balance between modern sensibilities and character expectations.

The characters overall are just wonderfully complex. Persephone doesn’t seem so at first glance, but that’s partly the point: she’s nothing like what everyone assumes she is and it’s those assumptions that she’s learning to push back against. But overall Smythe has a real knack for emphasizing the human (or god) complexity. We hate Eros for helping Aphrodite punish Persephone. Then we feel bad for him because of his sob story. Then we pull back because he’s called out for being a dick and making himself look like the victim. Then we come to the realization that his side of the story was still accurate in many ways and finally end on… he’s flawed. He’s just a flawed person. He’s not a saint. He’s not the devil. He’s a guy who screwed up one moment and did something good the next. Perhaps it’s just me coming out of the nonsense that was Volume 7 of RWBY, but it’s refreshing to read a story where that complexity is emphasized and (most) flaws are forgiven while still being acknowledged.

Overall I just find it to be a fun, entertaining story! lol. The artwork is beautiful. The humor is great. There’s a nice balance between plot and introspection. There are issues with the series, sure, but none thus far have kept me from enjoying the experience of reading it. I fully support anyone’s right to go, “Nope. Not for me.” For any reason. But I also feel like Lore Olympus is a good example of Tumblr’s recent emphasis on pure media: it must be PERFECT. Otherwise chuck it in the bin. Lore Olympus does a lot of the things that people on this site call for. Respectful depictions of assault. Emphasis on mental health. Storytelling from a woman’s perspective. Numerous types of woman characters. Being careful about who engages with sensitive material and how (each chapter that contains such issues has a trigger warning at the start, impossible to miss). Lore Olympus does a lot right… and some things wrong. Which is what we would expect of any good story. So it feels disingenuous of me—if not outright dangerous—to paint it as worse than I actually think it is. I want media to continue to improve, but I also don’t want to scare off authors from even trying because they were raked across the coals for not creating perfection. Smythe, to my mind, is definitely trying and that should be acknowledged.

#Anonymous #rape tw #lore olympus #greek mythology #mymetas

186 notes · View notes

fourletterworld · 3 years

Text

Chapter 1 - Is this Real? Was a Big Brother

I had a dream where I was laying on my back in a monorail, watching telephone poles pass by through the windows as I stared at distant clouds. I can't remember what lead to this scenario, but I soon heard Cody's voice speaking to me from no particular location. It was as gentle and near as ordinary conversation, yet I never saw his face.

"Dust?" he called out, questioning, as though this connection was as strange to him as it was to me.

I remember calling back excitedly; the incredible apathy I had been feeling during this point in time evaporated. I felt pure like I was a kid, as I immediately entered into a long conversation with him, asking him things he couldn't explain.

"What do things look like where you are?" I'd asked, and I could tell he had a semblance of an answer, but I imagined he didn't want to invalidate anything with words. Cody often wouldn't explain something for fear of not doing it justice. I fear putting our conversation into true dialogue for the same reason.

I remember asking if he was okay, which he said he was with certainty and positivity. The majority of our conversation faded in the mist where most of my dreams fall behind, but I recall clearly that his voice was light like it had never been in life. It had an intoxicated enthusiasm, but with absolute clarity of emotion and speech. It felt, to me, like he'd become the man he was supposed to be. The man he would have been had the pangs of chemical torture never got such a grip on his brain.

Cody had mental problems throughout his whole life. When he was young his ears would burn red hot and he would go into hysterical fits of laughter that would bleed into crying. He had a lot of allergic reactions that affected him emotionally, and he always had a hard time focusing and sitting still. When we were kids, I recall many times sitting next to him in restaurants, where he would get agitated toward the end of the meal. He'd lay back on a booth and start bicycle kicking me. The age gap made it unfair for me to fight back, and so I resorted to needling him: like asking him if other kids in his school looked like old women or if it was only him. He'd try to mask a grin with an evil expression, and then sit upright to throw body punches. I'd laugh and try to grab his wrists, while my Mom tried to yell at us from across the table. If my Dad was ever there, he'd make the ordeal into a scene which would embarrass my mom, scare the shit out of Cody and I, and promptly put a stop to the nonsense.

The psychological abuse I retaliated with was just as unfair as hitting back, but in 2019 before Cody passed we talked about this over phone. Cody told me I was always such a bastard growing up, but he always thought the shit I said was funny, and he attributed this to our unified sense of humor.

I didn't usually make fun of him though. I was really sympathetic most of the time, and he knew he could come to me when he was having problems. I think about one time in particular. Cody was eleven years old and he knocked on my bedroom door. When I let him in he was shaken like he wanted to cry and I was immediately alarmed.

“What’s wrong Codes? Are you okay?” I thought maybe he’d gotten hurt, but what he told me dazed me momentarily and took me a second to grasp.

He said he was laying on his back and started thinking about what life is. He was stricken with rudimentary existential questions, like why are we here, and what is life, and is life even real? When I say these are rudimentary questions, I don't mean at all that the experience of these questions are uncomplicated... They are vast and overwhelming to deal with if you are emotionally invested and living them, and Jesus Christ, especially if you are eleven years old and afraid of things as simple as being kidnapped.

Though, I didn’t understand that at the time. I was having trouble understanding how something theoretical could bring you to tears. I could wrap my head around what he was telling me easy enough, but it was the difference between someone explaining free falling from an airplane or actually being the person that jumps from the hatch. I think a lot of people who discuss things philosophically forget that understanding the premise of something existential isn't the same as living through it, and when Cody was explaining this to me, I was still years from experiencing anything similar myself, and still, to a lesser degree than I believe he had.

I listened to what he told me, and amidst my concern, I kept thinking about what a special brain he had. This was before he started experimenting with drugs, so all of his thoughts were uninfluenced in that way. I mean, I can't stress it enough, the kid was eleven. I don’t think I had an unprovoked thought until I was in my twenties. I still can't decide if whatever unlocks these intense ideas about the human condition comes from the imagination or some kind of fucked up rationale... The same kind of rationale that comes to the conclusion to put a gun to your head to erase all the anguish.

It is sick to say, but I imagined him dying prematurely many times before he did. He was tremendously encumbered by life, but rather than to become sluggish and uninspired, Cody was restless, which I correctly considered to be a terrifying combination.

After high school, I had moved away to Oregon for less than two years, in an effort to continue a relationship that hadn't been working. During this time Cody began to drink and smoke pot regularly. We talked on the phone often, and he subtly told me what he was getting up to, and I felt worried about him. I was selfishly torn between being his friend and being a good older brother. I was also selfishly torn between being a hypocrite and being a good older brother.

One day, my friend went to his then girlfriend's mom's house, who had a younger sister Cody was friends with. Fourteen-year-old Cody was passed out on the front lawn in the middle of the day next to patch of his vomit. My friend called me and warned me about this situation, and it was at this point I told my Mom. Neither she nor I controlled the situation at all.

Oddly enough, this friend that discovered him on the lawn was also the same friend that discovered his body on the dirt road after he had overdosed. He was called to the scene as an EMT, on a day which he was randomly working in the area when he shouldn't have been. This coincidence is maddening to me, as though God or the Universe or whatever is saying that it meant to happen... But usually when you think of things meaning to happen, the unifying idea is supposed to bring you peace, but to me, it was a slap in my face that I deserve. To me, it was only meant to be because I didn't stop this from going off the tracks when I was warned first. It's a strange and fucked up parallel I can't get out of my head. Then sometimes I think, is any of this even real or am I drawing spiteful lines between a meaningless constellation?

When my Mom and I were in the hospital, we discussed his addiction problems at length to a doctor as we sat by Cody's bed. The Doctor then asked, knowing the answer, "You never put him into a rehabilitation program?" He looked at me. His eyes and tone brimmed with sympathy, but his question was built without any emotional integrity. Though, being a guilty human being, I did get casted with shame, but additionally swelled with momentary rage at the doctor’s useless blame. I was very close to cruelly criticizing the doctor, and had I been a person that indulged in self-gratifying drama, I would have. I instead didn't answer the question, but my Mom did, and it hurt her, because the answer was, of course, no.

I then apologetically kissed his forehead. I remembered smelling his oily hair, and I then cried onto his rough hand, holding it and hoping it would miraculously squeeze mine back, but of course it never did. I'm still there each day in disbelief. I've personally experienced this and it still feels like someone had to explain it to me.

So, I'm lying on my back in the monorail in my dream, and I look up and say into the nothing, "Cody I want to hug you", and all he could do was say "I love you Dust".

So I said, "Cody, how do I know and of this is real?" and he replied with something meaningless, and I woke up.

#nonfiction #confessional #writers #writing #grief #griefjourney #brothers #brother

3 notes · View notes

imagining-in-the-margins · 4 years

Photo

AAAAAAA Thank you so much everyone for 4K Followers! I can’t believe there are so many of us! I appreciate each of you so much! Thank you for your continued support, patience, and questions.

Anon Answers below the cut! 👇

1. A gen fic is one that isn’t based on romance or a pairing/relationship.

2. This is so sweet! Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoy my characterization. I try very hard, lol. I know I don’t always get it right but it means a lot to me that you guys enjoy it enough to tell me about it!

3. Done!

Is there a trope you wouldn’t write if it was the last trope on earth?

Probably? For instance, I really, really hate crack fics. I would never write one. But to be honest, most fanfic tropes are popular because... well, they’re popular. I wouldn’t ever write an ABO fic, but I do have a BDSM!AU fic, which is remarkably similar. Idunno, I guess.

4. You got it!

Do you outline before you start writing? If so, how far do you stray from that outline?

I do! But my outline isn’t a traditional outline. I write all of my dialogue first. Usually, it stays pretty consistent. Sometimes I erase everything and start over. Sometimes I add a few lines or change some things up. But usually, it’s pretty consistent start to finish. However, some fics (like Different Dialects) are pure stream of consciousness. Just depends.

Which part of writing do you struggle with most?

Making myself just do it. It’s the hardest thing about writing for everyone. I always say the only different between a writer and everyone else is the dedication and willpower to force yourself to write when you don’t want to or think it’ll be garbage. You just have to keep going. It’s like when you’re a kid doing sports or music lessons. You never wanted to go, but once you got there, you remembered why you love it. If you’re looking for something specific to the act of writing though... Hmmm... Action scenes.

5. Aaaa I love cake! Unfortunately I cannot go out. Luckily, however, I am a baker! So I can bake my own! Baking is so therapeutic. As for your Behind the Scenes ask...

A Hollywood producer tells you that they want to film just one of your fics. Which fic would you want it to be?

Oh god. I wouldn’t want it to be a smut fic, but H2M is actually going to be the length of three novels, so... It would be the longest. I really wouldn’t want a smut fic, though. Probably Dfferent Dialects. It means a lot to me. Ribcage is a good one, too.

6. Thank you for the compliment! My feelings on this topic are incredibly complex and can’t be generalized, but I do have a general set of beliefs. The first is that any relationship that began in any capacity when one is a minor is immediately suspect, improper, and should be avoided. A romantic or sexual relationship with an age gap between a minor and an adult is not acceptable, ever. I don’t care if they are only a couple years. People who wait for minors to turn 18 are problematic, suspect, and often extremely disturbing. Casually chatting personally & privately with minors as an adult is fucking weird.

Once again, I was a victim to two ephebophiles for 5 years so this is an incredibly triggering topic for me. Please understand nothing I say here should ever condone a relationship between a minor and an adult. If you find yourself trying to justify such a relationship with any of the below, you are missing the point entirely.

Essentially, outside of those behaviors, meaning between two consenting adults 20+, it depends entirely on the couple. It depends on the typical aspects of power dynamics. What stage of life are you in? What’s your previous relationship experience? Does one party have more money? Does one party own everything? Does one partner rely completely on the other? Do both parties have friends their age? Is there a pattern in previous relationships?

These are questions that should be asked in any relationship, not just ones with an age gap.

My current partner, who I’ve been with for 5 years, is a little over 7 years older than me. We met while we were both at university. We had similar levels of education, resources, and shared many mutual friends. He is the best person I’ve ever met and the only man to ever make me feel safe. I was 20 when we met, and he was very uncomfortable with it for a long time because of my past abuse from older men.

In the end, we had very serious and long conversations about our different life experiences that led us to each other. I don’t know of any other friends of mine with an age gap as large as mine. They are rare because usually the power dynamics and different life experiences are just too different. It is challenging to be with someone who had an entirely different experience than you. Because both of our families came from modest amounts of money and educated parents, but he grew up very sheltered, our childhoods were remarkably similar for our age difference.

Particularly between the ages of 16-21, your life changes SO dramatically, so quickly. Even as a 25 year old, the idea of being in a romantic relationship with the 21 year olds I know sounds incredibly challenging. I could never imagine dating someone younger than that. Graduating high school, moving away for the first time, being able to legally drink, having a career - these things create such a starkly different version of you whether you want to believe that or not.

In the end, it’s one of the few times I say, “You’ll understand when you’re older” and “It depends.” But in the end, if you are a minor, and an adult is pursuing you, abandon that relationship immediately and without regret. They should not be interacting with you like that. It is not a compliment, it is a warning flag and you should cut them off like they should have done a long time ago. I’m sorry you are the one having to act like an adult, and it’s not your fault.

I have more thoughts, but they’re best reserved for a direct conversation.

And again, like I said before, this is an incredibly triggering topic for me. I want it to be clear that I do not, and never will, support the same kind of abuse that I suffered for 5 years. Please don’t ask me any more questions on this topic. They will be deleted.

#answer #answered

23 notes · View notes

lookforastar · 3 years

Note

Hi ! I just finished Mr Selfridge series and found your posts (and your fanfics I think) about Mae and I looove it. I think her relationship with Lord Loxley is very interesting, and you wrote it so well ! I think people didn't understand that he actually was in love with her, which changes everything. It's fascinating how he hides his sadness/tears behind anger and alchohol. Do you consider writing from his point of view ? I would looove it

First, I am delighted to get a Selfridge-based ask. This series will always have a piece of my heart.

Second, those are definitely my fics. (I didn't intentionally create separate usernames, but as I got more active on Tumblr I figured the single avatar would be enough for most people to make the connection.) Thank you for reading and the feedback!!! Third, it's pretty unlikely that I'm going to write something from his perspective because I'm personally much more interested in Mae as a character and writing her perspective comes more naturally. I have two more partially written fics that might get to publication point. One is set during S2 and I can't see myself writing anything from Loxley's perspective because it's meant to be an exploration of how the abuse she is facing in the home and her associated shame drives Mae to act as she does in the series (e.g., vouching for Loxley with Harry). The other is another pre-series, early marriage one, which I currently have it framed as from Mae's perspective and, while it's likely to stay that way, your message has got me thinking that maybe trying some of it from a Loxley perspective might help me get past the points where story has been stuck for ages. So I guess we'll see what happens if I’m able to finish and post that one.

Basically, I'm more interested in Loxley in the early years of the marriage because I think his feelings towards Mae are more complex at that point. Because I agree that there's love there but there's a toxicity from the start because Loxley has this need to be seen as the best and this need to win--and Mae was the ultimate prize that season. At the same time, I think he was drawn to her independence and ambition in the way he's never been drawn to other women. Like I reference in my posted pre-series fic, based on his title alone he's an eligible bachelor and yet hasn't married despite having been "of age" for multiple seasons and I think part of it was that he was bored by other women. (Aiden McArdle is roughly 9 years older than Katherine Kelly, which I think fits as a gap between Mae and Loxley age wise.) Mae is drawn to him for similar reasons--he's different than her other suitors. In a way, I think they are both in love with the idea of each other and caught up in the passion of the push and pull/fight for control (which they both think they have).

I think early on in the marriage they're able to maintain an equilibrium because they are working towards a common and they have more of a need for each other. But as Mae grows more independent and confident in her role as Lady Loxley (and transitions from young girl to adult woman), she no longer fits in the box he has for her, which drives him to be more controlling, then emotionally abusive, and then physically abusive, which in turn pushes Mae further away as her image of him shifts from partner in crime to partner of circumstance and ultimately adversary. Long way of saying, Loxley intrigues me up until the point he shifts from controlling/slightly toxic love to abusive/toxic love. Whereas Mae intrigues me at every stage, which is why I prefer writing from her perspective.

#asks #anonymous #mr selfridge #i will take every opportunity to ramble about selfridge #send me an ask #and i'll write you a book #I hope this ramble makes sense #amanda rambles about selfridge

3 notes · View notes

thebookofbri · 3 years

Text

Things I Wish I Told My West Indian Parents - The Collective

Dear Kings and Queens , I come to you all with a warm heart of gratitude. I applaud your courage, your strength, and your voice! Thank you for trusting me enough to share these very sensitive thoughts and experiences that you have all held close to your heart. May these pieces serve as a R E L E A S E . May they BIND UP the negative impacts that they’ve caused and may they LOOSEN the beautiful souls that you all are evolving into.

Whether you are a viewer outside of the west Indian community, a west Indian parent, child(ren) of west indian parents, or a supportive friend, I ask you to open up your hearts and minds to these shared stories and experiences below:

“I wish I told my west Indian parents that disciplining your children doesn’t always have to mean putting your hands on us – A conversation here and there would’ve been enough. ”

_______________________________________________________________________

“ I wish I told my west Indian parents that I was a bisexual”

_______________________________________________________________________

“I Wish I told my west Indian parents that I think I would’ve been into church wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more if not so forceful. Like I wish they would just talk to us as humans. Not as a thing. Don’t get me wrong I’m into church and love God. I’d give my life to stand up for him. But growing up I would’ve been this way if not so forceful”.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Communication especially about the uncomfortable topics like sex! Life isn’t just about education and working!

_______________________________________________________________________

“Growing up I was never truly allowed to express myself emotionally if physically. Like if I ever thought my parents were wrong and I dared to speak up about it no matter how respectful I was about it, I would get shut down disrespectfully as if I was in the wrong the whole time. It hurt me because I didn’t really know how to and it affected my school, work, and even personal/romantic relationships. I was also put under extremely high standards, this put a lot of pressure on me from and every young age. It was hard for me to learn how to let go, it was hard for me to learn it’s okay to not be perfect, it was hard for me to accept failure and truly I still struggle with it which also makes it hard for me to open up about things I’ve failed in or not being able to make those around me happy as I feel they should be”.

_______________________________________________________________________

Things I Wish I Told My West Indian Mom - When you tell your daughter “little girls should be seen and not heard” You’re teaching her to be submissive and passive. You’re teaching her that she has no voice and it’s not her place to speak on things she’s passionate of. You’re teaching her to sit by and watch men screw up everything consistently. Unfortunately, you’re teaching her that her voice doesn’t matter which is ruinous to her development because her voice is one of the most powerful tools in her belt.

_______________________________________________________________________

1. I wish I didn’t have to figure out that you loved me or that you were proud of me, I wish you would have just told me. For years, I worked to earn what should have been given to me as a birthright and in your inability to express this to me, I struggled to find it in myself and so sought it in the world. I didn’t find it there either.

2. The provisions you provided me, the house, the lights, the food, and the clothes; they were always appreciated but there was nothing I valued more and rarely received like your physical presence. You worked ceaselessly to provide and I will never forsake or undermine that sacrifice but you missed what mattered that most; the person I grew into. That person was more than a profession. That person was more than the education. That person was more than the expectations and I wish you had gotten to know her, because I struggled to find her, heal her, and forge her, to become her, and more likely than not; you’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her.

3. I wish your love language wasn’t physical discipline. In place of constructive affirmations or words of affections, your preferred course of action created more gaps in the love story you poorly narrated over the course of my life. It made resenting you second nature and resenting the world; first.

4. I wish I could carry the weight of dashed dreams, the ones you called expectations, as easily as I could shoulder the weight of the hurtful rhetoric that had become commonplace between us. Know that in spite of that, I tried and still try to live up to them, if only to give you the joy that seemed to escape you so often. If only to shrink the cost of your sacrifice.

_______________________________________________________________________

I Wish They Told Me That Silence is Not A Strength ! Since I was a little girl I’ve watched my mom bend over backwards for people whose sole intentions were to take advantage of her. Through and through, I always hear her say when people wrong you, just turn the other cheek. Now, don’t get me wrong it also says that in the Bible, but in the Haitian culture we tend to use The WORD out of context quite a lot. She was never truly happy, but never dared to speak up. Of course, I learned from her, after all, she was my mother ! THIS silence has broken me times and times again. Even when I was wronged in many ways imaginable, by family who was supposed to love me and care for me. Eventually, I came to the realization that if everything bad that happens to me I stay silent, then how can I help the next person who went through that situation or something? One of the main events in my life that lead to this realization was when a family member tried to abuse me sexually.

In that moment I told myself “ I can do two things scream so everyone in the house will come running, and he will stop or stay silent like I was taught” I went with option two.... I SCREAMED like my life depended on it. When asked why I was screaming, I explained that he ( my cousin) tried to touch me inappropriately. I was met with so much disappointment. My uncle asked me “ how could you even say that ? Are you trying to bring shame to my family ?”They told me to never repeat the occurrence of that event. It was killing me, so I decided to tell my dad . I was living with this family after my mom passed away, because it was too painful to stay in the house that mom and I shared almost all of my life. I told my dad all that happened, he was furious, and decided that I had to come back home.

My dad was the only person who believed me before I even uttered a word. I then moved to the United States, and told myself that this so called family was practically dead to me. The trauma was slowly killing me. At the age of 17, I decided to begin my own healing process, and started telling everyone who will listen, and I started to feel better because I could finally speak! I was free from the bondage of silence, It felt like I was almost completely in control of my voice again.

Finally, I decided to make the final process of my healing forgiveness. I forgave them, but I promised myself that I will never let anyone hurt by keeping my truth hidden, no matter how ugly it may be. I am now the mother of a beautiful littler girl, and I can never imagine her being in my position, but scared to speak up against injustices, unfair treatment, and things that make her uncomfortable.

Silence in our culture allow evil to repeat itself. Our culture is so good at sweeping things under the rug that it will eventually destroy our nation. However, I will continue to teach my daughter to always use her voice!!. I will teach her to be the voice of reason for her generation. I want her to know that I have her back no matter what, and I will choose to believe her story every single time. SILENCE is not a strength!

_______________________________________________________________________

I Wish my West Indian Parents Told Me that vulnerability does not equate weakness.

_______________________________________________________________________

I wish my west Indian parents told me that they loved me.

_______________________________________________________________________

“As an adult I struggle to have real genuine romantic relationships and friendships because I struggle with being emotionally intelligent and available to the ones I care about. I wish my parents taught me how to love – their example as a married couple seemed dull and lifeless. Their relationships with me and my siblings reflected that very same thing.”

_______________________________________________________________________

“As a young woman I wish my west Indian mother told me that being single after college and wanting to do my own thing is okay. I wish she told me that It didn’t and still doesn’t take a male figure to complete me”.

_______________________________________________________________________

“I wish my parents didn’t compare me to other people’s kids – all it did was embarrass me and make me feel like I wasn’t good enough”.

_______________________________________________________________________

“I wish my west Indian father would actually spend time with me – I know he has to work but his absence has impacted my life so much”.

_______________________________________________________________________

“I wish my west Indian parents knew that I am trying my best and that mental health is real. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression and it’s not an excuse to do nothing - I just need help”.

_______________________________________________________________________

Thank you for your support and thank you for taking the time to read the experiences of others. .

I ask that you reflect on what you’ve read.

Has this raised any awareness for you?

Are there similarities or parallels that you can make from these stories in your own life?

If you are West Indian – what will you do differently as a parent? As a friend? As a daughter or son?

Any conversations you think you’d start?

Peace & Love Tribe 🌻❤️

#WestIndian WestIndianParents WestIndianFamily WestIndianChildren Love Relationships Stories Love ToughLove Impact Trauma

5 notes · View notes

fyrapartnersearch · 5 years

Text

eye-catching title ;

Once again, I’m AJ! Lookin’ for a couple of different things, mostly similar to my last ad. We love a (mostly) one trick pony!

For original settings: apocalyptic (zombie, disease, extinction event, whatever), sci-fi (futuristic, space-faring, space opera), fantasy (high, low, medieval, urban), supernatural (fantasy, urban, sci-fi, literally anything). For fandom universes: Percy Jackson, Pokemon, and Fallout.

Gonna run through my basic info and then onto the particulars. 💕

⥽ About Me ; ⥼

• Name/Age ; AJ! So close to 22 I can taste it. One more month…

• Timezone ; CST! I don’t mind time differences, this is just so you know my general schedule.

• Length ; Truly varies to the point where sticking an average on it is difficult to do. 3-5 minimum I guess? I can go with that as an average if you prefer multi-paragraph style or write novella.

• Reply rate ; Varies depending on whether we’re doing multi-paragraph or novella. I can respond anywhere from every day to every other day or a few times a week to weekly depending on the writing style of the RP and my schedule.

• OOC ; I like getting to know my partners and sharing enthusiasm over our ideas and characters. Nothing hits quite like mutual investment! I’m ditch-friendly but don’t ditch myself, so you can expect communication. I’m not picky if I don’t get the same from you, though. I’ve been around the block enough to know it happens.

• Contact ; Strictly email for OOC and roleplay unless we’re using GDocs for the RP itself, no messengers even for OOC. You can find me at [email protected].

⥽ On the lookout for ; ⥼

• Doubling ; Unlike my last post, this isn’t a deal-breaker! I just prefer writing a cast of characters, so this is something that’s more of a bonus. Ideally we’ll double, but I’m down for writing just one character each.

• Will only write MxM or FxF ; MxF’s not my cup of tea (I’m extremely picky with it, fellow gays u know how it is). If we’re writing a cast of characters then I’m fine with having an MxF side couple.

• 18 + ; I’m pretty much 22! Partner’s gotta be 18 +. 20 + ideally. Same with characters, extra bonus points for characters who are 30+. Romance doesn’t die once you hit middle age!

⥽ Yes! ; ⥼

• Smut ; I enjoy writing it, but it’s not a deal-breaker if you’d rather fade to black. All characters will obviously be adults. I expect versatile characters in bed by default, that way we’ve got an even route for playing roles in bed. Admittedly this shifts a bit depending on the character I write, but a HUGE no on anyone who comes in guns blazing off the bat with how they only write bottoms.

• Face claims ; Spent a huge chunk of my roleplaying years on tumblr (it was very over-the-top and flowery and weirdly formatted and grossly difficult to read, I know I know), so having a face for characters stuck with me. If you don’t have any of your own and want good resources to find a face, I’ve got some recommended sites I can throw at ya! Had a previous partner who had a character sheet format that I use now that’s simple but looks nice! Nyx if you’re out there don’t come for me for copping your format.

• Depth & growth ; Not a fan of one-dimensional characters or characters who act the same from beginning to end! People change with experiences and the people around them, so this is to be expected. ESPECIALLY when doubling with a cast. I loooove complicated characters growing together.

• Plotting & Worldbuilding ; *For original settings/worlds! I’m not picky with this if we’re working with a canon setting, so if that’s what you’re looking for, we can skip this section. I run into loooads of folks who say they do this when they really don’t. We’re writing an entire world together, so there’s some degree of effort involved! I need specifics to use as a start-off point for the roleplay and a general outline for where the story’s going. RPs that are just random, spur of the moment with writing as we go on tend to burn out REALLY quickly for me. I know not a lot of people are into this, so I’m sorry about that.

⥽ No! ; ⥼

• Underage characters ; Total given that there will be NO sexual themes with underage characters, but in general as well! I only write adults. 20 +.

• Single paragraphs ; I’m not too picky with a lot of length a lot of the time, I just don’t mesh well with people who don’t write more than that. Go ham. I like my responses meaty!

• Limits ; Abuse, nonconsensual/sexual assault, pedophilia, incest (includes step-relations, adopted relations, and that figurative like if one character essentially raised another or they were raised as family), weird age gaps, BDSM, any kind of master/slave or dom/sub dynamics.

As for the goods, I’ve laid ‘em all out for you here! Keep in mind that while all of these are fun on their own, I’m definitely the type of writer who’s into mixing and matching. Sci-fi apocalypse? Fantasy apocalypse? Fantasy supernatural stuff? Sci-fi fantasy? Sci-fi supernatural stuff? Supernatural apocalypse? Period settings? Literally whatever you could think of, I’ll give it a whirl. The particulars down below are just to get the ball rolling and catch some interest. Hit me up with whatever you’d like!

APOCALYPSE: My bread and butter! Tense, harrowing, and especially gut-punching when it comes to how close people become to survive together in quiet moments of a world they used to know. I’m a big fan of zombies, so that’s my loose preference. I loved Black Summer on Netflix – the earlier episodes, at least, as well as The Last of Us. That’s the kind of vibe I favor with zombies/zombie-like creatures. But, ofc, an apocalypse can be anything! I love writing different takes on the genre since there’s so much to cover. Extinction event, pandemic, impact event, monsters/beasts, man-made, whatever. The more creative the apocalyptic setting, the better, so I’d love to bounce some ideas back and forth. Not too into a nuclear apocalypse setting, since that overlaps a lot with Fallout down below.

SCI-FI: Sci-fi’s a bit tricky since it encompasses so many different takes, so I’m clearing the air to say anything’s good. Futuristic, space travel, time travel, space opera, AI, apocalyptic, cyberpunk – if it works in sci-fi, it works for me.

FANTASY: High fantasy, low fantasy, medieval fantasy, urban fantasy, whatever. Love dragons, love magic, love weird fantasy flora, definitely love the classic prince/princess x knight or commoner schtick. You want prophecies? I’m game. You want elves? I’m game. You want steampunk? I’m game. You want none of that and wanna do something else? I’m game, baby. The possibilities are endless.

SUPERNATURAL/PARANORMAL: Vampires and werewolves and demons, oh my! Can’t go wrong with horror, especially can’t go wrong with comedy-horror. I’m more of the type to prefer humans and supernatural beings together in a ragtag duo type of way as opposed to two supernatural beings, but anything’s cool in my book. Medieval/fantasy setting for a dark fairytale vibe, urban/modern supernatural beings slinking in the shadows outside of the human eye, supernatural sci-fi stuff, mysteries and danger lurking around every corner? Seriously, it’s a great genre! Any and everything is fantastic. I’ve got a loose concept of demons/the Underworld I’d like to get into since I’m struggling with the worldbuilding of it, so applying all that to a roleplay to give it a whirl sounds like a great way to work out the kinks. Plus, c’mon. Paranormal romance. What’s not to love there?

PERCY JACKSON: I haven’t ever roleplaying this verse before, so this is completely new grounds for me. I’ve seen some fun takes on it, though! Scoured older ads but haven’t reached out to anyone because the posting time’s pretty old, but a couple ideas I’ve skimmed through sound fun. HP got a period take on it, so why not put that spin on PJ with a period setting rather than in modern times? Or just a regular modern setting. Y’know, keep it classy, keep it sexy, keep it fun! I’m definitely focused on life outside of camp, since all the characters will be adults. Life’s supposed to suck for demigods, so let’s get into that.

POKEMON: Leaning a little more on the Detective Pikachu take, since it was fun to see a less anime/game-esque take on the pokemon world. The almost neo-noir style was sooooo cool, so I’ve got my sights set on leaning maybe a little more into the noir sensibilities and themes as an homage to the blending of genres between Pokemon and noir. So a lot of themes of alienation, mystery, ambiguity, things along those lines. Definitely a weird mix with Pokemon but I think it can be fun.

FALLOUT: Gonna be real with you guys, I’m a total newbie to Fallout and have only played F3 because it was the only game I found in my family storage for Xbox 360 and I don’t have enough money to get a gaming PC/Laptop to play the other games. I’m watching playthroughs, though! Dipping my toes in the water, so to speak. I’m into it! It’s a fun franchise from what I’ve played and seen so far, so I’d love to write OCs in this verse.

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #long term #email #pokemon rp #smut rp #submission

2 notes · View notes