#i mean within in the context of how i usually write bones jim didnt want to tell him at first becaus i write bones as being an sa survivor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs | Tumgik

#i mean within in the context of how i usually write bones jim didnt want to tell him at first becaus i write bones as being an sa survivor

anxiously-going · 2 months

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#i had an uncomfortable realization this afternoon #i think part of what makes me uncomfortable with more...intimate versions of mckirk is because the age gap there #is similar to the age gap between myself and two of the people that abused me #of course i recognize that the context is wildly different there #two consenting adults vs one minor being incredibly inappropriate with a much younger minor who was unable to consent in any way #but i think even just that very minor piece of pattern recognition is enough to get my hackles raised #because it's not about the characters themselves there has been nothing in bones character to ever indicate that kind of malice #its nothing to do with the actual ship or characters it's literally just the age gap that every once in a while just makes my insides squirm #i dont think i would have ever had the realization at all if i hadnt had a nightmare about jim being attacked and assulted last night #bones wasnt even in the dream it was just a couple of older officers but it kept replaying in my brain till i wrote out the aftermath #and getting him patched up and it was the context of jim going through a similar trauma to mine and coming to me for help #that i connected the dots #i mean within in the context of how i usually write bones jim didnt want to tell him at first becaus i write bones as being an sa survivor #and jim didnt want to trigger him in all of this so he asked me for help instead #but writing him going to someone closer to his own age over some closer to the age of the people who hurt him kind of connected the dots #it's definitely a me issue and its not actually anything to do with the characters or the ship in general #its just a really unfortunate happenstance

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