yeah you need hobbies outside of media consumption or you’ll go insane. however if i spent an entire day reading books i would not go insane i would feel happy and fulfilled <3

I be like “I forgive myself, I’m healing” but like ok? What do I really do that’s horrible? I feel like I keep to myself so I don’t really do anything bad to anyone 🤷🏽‍♀️ maybe I just don’t do enough but i feel bad and still think I’m doing something bad or not helping at all….why

random update on media i’ve been consuming:

- read and finished beach lovers by emily henry, which i surprisingly rlly enjoyed! i feel like i’m slowly understanding how to read romance novels the way that i read shojo manga LOL (the ending tho made me cry a bit damnit.)

- reading cruel prince by holly black rn which i’m also enjoying !!! reminds me a bit of how old ya dystopian fiction made me feel (pos) altho i will say that the voice is a lil inconsistent imo. also didn’t realize it was enemies to lovers LOL

- read kimi no yokohao o miteita (looking at your profile) and pls 😭😭😭 SOMEONE GIVE ME MORE TRANSLATIONS PLSSSS I LOVE THIS SORT OF PLOT W MULTIPLE NARRATORS WHO ALL EXPERIENCE ONE SIDED LOVE YEAHHHHHHHHHH

- read misu misou bc of the clips of the film on tiktok and goddamn it was graphic AND made me sad :<< did not realize the creator also wrote hi score girl + i still enjoyed the story for the most part. it’s def endless suffering tho

EDIT (12.3): woah wait i forogt i never posted this since i wrote this in july LOL but i shall continue altho tbh i also don’t remember half of what i finished consuming

- cruel prince is on pause rn bc i entered another reading/life slump ;-; i have a rlly big to-read list tho that i wanna start soon (including rereading the hunger games trilogy after spoiling all of the recent movie)

- finished monster which is WILD TO ME!!!! ugh it's such a good series — truly deserve of all the flowers it has received and sm more. writing is so tight and something i'm amazed abt is how it balances mindless violence and loss with the persistence of love and the hope that life can continue on. we want to be remembered bc our lives persist thru the ppl we meet and love. the relationship between a child and parent-figure are so important for the future pf humanity (i'm blurting stuff now). it also makes me rlly wanna dive into cold war history bc ik i glazed thru a lot of it back when i was in school LMFAO

- i read transcendent kingdom for a lit class and it CHANGED MY LIFE. its depiction of addiction, trauma, and its lasting impacts are sooo poignant and

- caught up on raise no tanin ga li (ii?) and it’s a fun read :3 i like the dynamic of the main couple and the yakuza/gang setting allows them to be a lil ridiculous despite just being high schoolers LOL. also the art style is so clean + unique??? obsessed

- stl: my son’s so silly

ok that’s all i can think of now :3 will do another update and actually keep a track of everything soon xD

Hey I was just wondering if you could link some articles about everything israel has been doing to Palestine in the last 16 years (so basically the time Gaza’s been an open air prison) bc tho I’m pretty invested in politics the media in my country hasn’t been covering this whole situation in Palestine apart from this past week (and the bigger attacks from a few years back) and even then the articles are pretty clearly pro israel so I do know to a certain extent what the situation is and has been like between Palestine and israel (the basics of these two countries’ history since WW2) but not the details and I’d like to inform myself

Unfortunately the media in Canada the UK the United States (obviously) and France (again this isn’t really surprising) isn’t really good at covering what’s happening in the Middle East so informing myself objectively and via reliable sources on the history of these places (when it doesn’t affect the western world) can be a bit hard I genuinely spent a lot of fucking time researching the subject but I just haven’t been satisfied with what I found (it’s all really repetitive and it doesn’t really cover the details tho I did find some really interesting articles written by Palestinian journalists) I did try watching documentaries but they all cut out the more awful parts of history which kind of really sucks (the one thing that was easier to find and that conveyed good and objective info is the statistics of the conditions Palestinians in Gaza have been living in)

If you don’t want to that’s totally fine feel no pressure about doing it but if you don’t wanna link articles could you maybe pls talk about what you know and again no pressure

Hello lovely,

So this has been sitting in my inbox for a while because I've been busy (school, protests, funerals and vigils, etc). I decided to respond to this one because I think the ask is framed very well.

It is common knowledge that Israel puts forward a large media and PR effort to hide the atrocities being committed. There is a huge monetary fund dedicated to this - what other country pays fully for college students to come for week-long trips and see how wonderful the country is? The entire regime is built on propaganda, and I think it's important that everyone try and dismantle our reliance on one or two sources of media. In school, we are constantly told who are the "reliable" sources of information, but in times like this, when the media and press are so controlled, look at the best and most reliable source: primary sources. I encourage you all to follow people who are on the ground in Gaza like Motaz Azaiza, who is on the ground in Gaza and has been for several years. I also encourage you to follow Mohammed El Kurd, who is from Sheikh Jarrah in occupied Jerusalem. He is brilliant and articulate and doesn't mince words, and he has done dozens of interviews and talks about the plight of Palestinians, both at home under occupation and in the diaspora. For news, I think one of the best sources has been Al Jazeera, which is a Middle Eastern news reporter. It is banned in some countries, but they release the most accurate information about what is currently happening. Many of their journalists have just had their families wiped out for the work they are doing.

In regards to what you can watch, there is a plethora of Palestinian film that you can consume. The ones off the top of my head are '5 broken cameras' and 'Omar', which are both critically acclaimed, brilliant films on Palestine. Here is a link to more documentary than film style pieces on Palestine: https://remix.aljazeera.com/aje/PalestineRemix/films_main.html

There are many YouTube videos on the subject as well. A very good article is the one published in n+1 by Saree Makdisi.

I personally don't have many articles to share, because everything I know about my home and my people was told to me by my family. So, allow me to share with you a little bit of my life story:

My grandfather was born in a small village in Palestine just outside of Nablus. He would have been about 8-10 years old when the Nakbah happened. Nakbah is the Arabic word for 'catastrophe', and it describes the displacement of 750,000 Palestinians in 1948. My grandfather was not one of them because of how far in the West Bank he was. He remained in Palestine, trying his hardest to flee despite the immense debt that his own father had passed onto him. He worked in shops. He picked olives from the hundreds, if not thousands, of trees in the village. He was trying to save himself and his 12 siblings, all on no income and a 4th grade education. There was no more school when the occupation started.

My grandmother was born in the neighboring village. She was looked after by two brothers and a father that would have torn the world to shreds for her. She met my grandfather when he came to help repair their home. They were married young, around 19, and they had their first son, my uncle, in their home in Palestine. The occupation got worse and worse, with people having their homes invaded, guns to their faces, being told to leave. My grandmother fought one such settler, and they took one of her beautiful green eyes for it. My grandparents tried everything they could to keep their house in Palestine, but it was no use. They had to flee to Kuwait (twice actually), a journey that takes 72 hours nonstop on foot, in order to not be killed by Israel. My grandmother took her house key with her, thinking she would need it to open the door when they were able to return. And that key still sits in her house, staring at her and her 8 children and 30 grandchildren who have never seen our home in Palestine.

I fortunately don't have direct family in Gaza, but I have living family that fled Palestine. I have so many family members who will never be able to see our land in our lifetime. Our house is gone. The olive trees are gone. Everything that my grandparents knew of the world for a quarter of their lives is gone. How long until we are gone? How long until the plan is successful, and our young are murdered and our old left to die so that Israel can say that Palestinians never existed in the first place?

Between three of my friends, they have lost 100 family members. Between Palestinians, we have lost over 7000 people. Civilians. Children. Mothers. Fathers. Neighbors. People. I want to educate, I want to be a voice and rally, but I can't do it every day. I'm struggling with the guilt of being alive as a Palestinian right now. My entire bloodline, my history, is being wiped off the face of the earth before my eyes. And I'm sorry I can't be more help.

im so pissed that eldia isn’t as popular as parasite i wanna watch tiktoks about eldia and read tumblr posts and tweets about eldia and consume every single piece of media there is on the internet about eldia u should bribe someone on tiktok so that i can learn their opinions

LMFAOOO

i think the reason parasite got more popular was because of tiktok cause i began posting stuff related to it on there and it caught attention from ppl and then they started making videos too

i don’t really promote eldia on tik tok like i did parasite because 1) i dont use tik tok like that anymore i just get on to watch edits of whatever i’m obsessed with at the moment and 2) i hate posting on tiktok bc ppl on there are… odd

i totally get what u mean because i feel the same way! i know it might be weird to say bc i’m the author but i’m OBSESSED with eldia it’s all i think about sometimes so when i get to talk to ppl about it, it’s so fun

Hey rae! So, I have a topic that I’d like to hear your opinion about because I feel like it’s been talked about a lot (at least from the media I consume) and that is saying that liking DE characters makes you anti-Semitic/ ‘support’ Nazis. I know how you feel about rosekiller, which I totally support, if you wanna be a hater, please do, but…hmmm I don’t know how I feel about people calling each other every name in the book for liking a DE. I mean that’s the same with regulus, I’ve seen quite a few people talk about how they hate him because he’s DE and liking him/any other DE makes u anti-Semitic. This has me questioning my morality and my pov because I refuse to be associated with people as horrible as Nazis, and I think that you always give a good perspective on things and so if you also think that liking these characters associates a person with them then I seriously need to sit down and have a 1:1 with myself, y’know?

Also, on the same topic i feel like there’s a huge controversy with liking Barty and hating Snape, which I see how that could be wrong, but we know more about Snape and he’s done things to characters that we really know and love so I kinda feel like not being fond of him but liking Barty is valid-ish?? Because yes, if we can erase huge parts of Barty’s character to make him more likeable&redeemable why wont we do that with Snape? I still don’t know how to feel about this whole thing because I think questioning things about yourself is a good thing and it helps you learn&grow so I’d just like to hear your thoughts (rosekiller hatred put aside). Like, if you think rosekiller is the most boring ship in the universe and if you wanna hate on it, please please do!!! Express your opinion!!!! But it kinda rubs me the wrong way to hate on the people liking DE and associating them with a hateful group. If you don’t wanna answer, that’s more than fine, you can totally ignore my ask!!! I understand if you don’t wanna share your opinion on this topic. Have a good day!!

hi! i appreciate that u value my opinion + i'm happy 2 talk thru my thoughts with u, but before i do i wanna make it clear that i am not any kind of expert in antisemitism + am not jewish myself, so you should not be taking my thoughts as like. The Ultimate Opinion on this issue at all--like, i'm happy to discuss, but i do not by any means have the authority to just deem something Good or Bad for u, y'know? nor would i ever want to! i don't really think issues like this can be boiled down to a simple "it's totally okay and no one should ever get upset about it!" vs "it's morally evil and no one should ever like these characters!" (also - if any jewish mutuals or followers wanna weigh in + let me know if there's anything i'm missing/overlooking/etc please do!)

so, i've seen at least some of the discourse you're talking about floating around online. i've seen some jewish people saying that blorbo-ifying death eater characters ignores the nazi allegory and makes nazi-allegory characters sympathetic, which is antisemitic. i've seen other jewish people saying that it's offensive to simplify naziism, a much larger, real political issue, down to calling fictional characters "wizard nazis," and that it belittles the actual historical significance to use antisemitism as a talking point in this discourse about which characters it is or isn't okay to like. that's why i say that i don't think you're gonna find One Cohesive Position on like....what's okay or not okay; it's just something you're gonna have to parse for yourself, and while i do think you should be giving particular weight to the perspectives of jewish people on this issue, that obviously doesn't mean that every single jewish person is going to agree.

anyway, i've mostly stayed out of this discourse partially bc i don't really care about most death eater characters and partially bc, as i said, i do not feel like i am any sort of expert who is like. qualified to discuss the ins and outs of antisemitism in hp fandom spaces. so again, this is just gonna be a conversation about my thoughts as they currently stand--not a lecture where i'm telling you what's right or wrong, and not a set-in-stone Stance on the Ultimate Truth of this matter or anything.

currently, my feeling on this whole quagmire of discourse basically boils down to: i think it's reductive to broadly state that anyone who likes/engages with death eater characters in fandom in any way is automatically antisemitic; i think there is more nuance to the situation and boiling down the issue to an overarching generalization is not necessarily the most useful way to address antisemitism in this particular fandom space.

and there are various reasons that i feel that way, which i'll try to break down below:

death eaters are not a 1:1 allegory for nazis

this is something that i think gets lost in translation a bit when we just say "oh the death eaters were wizard nazis." while, yes, i think jkr was definitely making some allegorical nods to naziism + hitler, particularly with the blood purity aspect of death eater-ism, personally i think that had less to do with jkr actually having a good grasp on the politics of nazi fascism and more to do with jkr being the kind of liberal who just goes "hmmm who's the Worst Person in history??" and then just cherry-picking bits and pieces of like. naziism to give her Bad Guys an easily recognizable cultural referrant to associate with their Badness. (i mean--from the critiques i have seen regarding jkr's own antisemitism that is embedded in the hp text, she clearly was not writing the death eaters as like. a disavowal of antisemitism.)

something that concerns me is that treating death eaters as a 1:1 allegory for nazis sort of obscures some very important, very fundamental differences in the fascism of actual nazis. in hp, death eaters are positioned as a fringe "terrorist" group, in that they are opposed to the wizarding State. they obtain power through largely "illegitimate" (again, by the metrics of State power) means by way of a coup; in this way, a fundamental aspect of the death eaters as Bad Guys is that they are not legitimated by the State--something that very clearly speaks to jkr's own liberal politics when it comes to defining Good versus Bad.

but real-life nazis rose to power specifically by using legitimated State power. this is really fucking important to understand!!!! historically, fascism is often perpetuated by the logics of State power, and that's part of what allows it to take hold--people think, "oh, it can't be that bad, after all, we elected this fascist leader." etc. while hitler did attempt to gain power through a coup in 1923, that specifically failed and led to him pivoting and seeking control by becoming a legitimate part of the German government. he solidified his power using completely legal means, from within the State. this is very, very different to how voldemort + the death eaters take power in hp, and also very opposed to jkr's State-centered politics about Good vs. Bad. while i think it's important + useful to recognize the ways in which death eaters draw allegorical connections to nazis and how that can perpetuate antisemitism if we're not aware of it, i think to simply paint death eaters as nazis can actually lead into the trap of thinking fascism is something that is opposed to the State, when it is more often something that grows out of the State.

liking a death eater character is not always gonna translate to liking death eaters

so, aside from the whole sticky situation with nazis as an allegory for death eaters in the first place--what's more important to me when thinking about how someone likes/engages with death eater characters is gonna be the way they engage with those characters, and what that reflects about their own politics.

if someone likes a death eater character because they like death eaters and think that like...there are no issues with the death eaters' beliefs or positions, then....yeah that's a major red flag. but most of the people who like these characters, from what i've seen, tend to do one of two things:

1 - explore the character because the character broke away from the death eaters in some way (regulus, snape, etc). this usually requires an exploration of how the death eaters are bad, because it requires an exploration of why the character turned away from them. i'm gonna be interested in how someone explores that issue and what that says about their own politics, but that's a case-by-case basis, y'know? and even if i personally think someone is still missing the heart of the issue in their "death eaters bad" story, it is still a "death eaters bad" story--i don't really think a person is aligning themselves with the death eaters if they're specifically writing about how they are bad and why someone initially taken in by their beliefs would later turn away from them.

2 - explore a character who hasn't broken away, looking at why a person might align themselves with death eaters and how someone might buy into that sort of political rhetoric. again, this is a case-by-case basis for me in terms of looking at what sort of politics is reflected, but generally speaking i do not think that writing stories about why or how someone might become a fascist is Always Morally Wrong. in fact, i think these stories are very necessary in helping us understand how fascism takes root in real life.

if someone is just writing "death eaters ra-ra!" fanfiction then. yeah i might take that as a red flag. but the death eaters are so clearly Bad Guys that i personally have not come across any examples of someone doing that, even if i have come across stories where i don't entirely agree with the politics of how someone is writing the death eaters as Bad.

liking a character in the context of fanfiction is not always going to translate to liking that character as a death eater

a lot of people write aus and stories where the death eaters don't even exist. in those situations, i struggle to understand how liking the characters, in and of itself, would be antisemitic, as the character has specifically been turned into not-a-death-eater and is oftentimes basically an oc.

liking a fictional character is not a simple moral reflection of how someone actually thinks - what i'd be more wary of is someone absorbing the neoliberal politics of hp without question

this is kind of getting back into repeating some of the points above--but again, for me personally, this is an issue that i evaluate much more on a case-by-case basis rather than trying to broadly apply One Rule. since i can't automatically know someone's reasons for liking a character, the context in which they like the character, etc, what i tend to judge more is the specific way i actually see them interacting with that character--how they write them, what stories they like to read, their hcs, etc. again, i am not an expert when it comes to judging antisemitism, so i do also try to make it a point to see what my jewish mutuals are saying when this sort of discourse comes up. but for myself, i tend to be more wary about the politics underlying specific pieces of writing rather than which characters someone is choosing to write about.

all that being said, i do still think it's fair if someone views liking death eaters as a red flag, y'know? like, everyone is allowed to judge for themselves what they see as red flags in this fandom space, and if someone is saying "i think it's antisemitic to like death eaters," i personally don't really think i have a right to go and argue with that person, for obvious reasons. since i do sometimes write about death eater characters, i try to be very aware of what kinds of politics are underlying my work and what sort of messages someone might take away. but if someone needs to block me, avoid my work, etc, i obviously don't have an issue with that--everyone is allowed and encouraged to curate their fandom space in a way that's best for them, and if someone has a boundary regarding interaction with death eater characters, that's their boundary to keep, y'know? i don't think it's productive (unless maybe you yourself experience antisemitism and it's a conversation you want to have) to go to that person and argue about why they're wrong, as if they need to tell you your actions are actually morally okay with them. sometimes people are going to have issues with the things you write or read in fandom, which is why you need to develop the ability to reflect + weigh these sorts of issues for yourself, and grow comfortable with the idea that there is not always going to be an ultimate Right and Wrong answer for How To Behave.

as for the snape vs barty [or insert whatever other death eater character here] - my thoughts on that are essentially. i truly do not think it matters which characters you like or dislike. you can like one death eater character or not another. it's fine. you don't have to like one character over another. this is fanfiction. the moral stakes are not that high.

the only instance in which i would say liking one character over another gets hypocrticial is if you are saying that people shouldn't like a character. for example -- if you are running around the internet saying that snape is a disgusting character and nobody is allowed to like him, but at the same time you're blorbo-ifying barty crouch jr. then, yeah, that's annyoing and hypocritical. but if you're just chilling in peace, reading + writing ur fic and not policing the things that other people are allowed to like or dislike, then i truly do not think it matters if you like barty crouch jr. but not snape. i'm all for self-reflection and thinking about why you personally might like one character over another, but at the end of the day writing + reading fic is not any kind of activism; it's a hobby, it's for enjoyment. i promise that u do not need to have a moral crisis about disliking severus snape from harry potter lmao

Honestly, I don’t get how people can’t understand that otome isekai is literally for wish fulfillment and self inserting not for being “realistic”😭 rest under the cut bc I have so many opinions.

The criticisms are always like “why doesn’t the protagonist ever miss her family” “why don’t they struggle without the use of google”(and yes this is a serious critique I’ve seen made) this is supposed to be a fantasy of being reborn as a rich lady with hot guys all over her this is obviously not made to be realistic. That’s why kill the villainess does nothing for me (no shade if it’s a favorite of yours), it’s commentary/satire of the genre falls flat because the purpose of isekai is not to show the main character struggling and being depressed. The purpose is escapism. It critiques otome isekai on something it was never trying to be and shows a fundamental misunderstanding of why these works exist in the first place. Kill the villainess feels like it was written by someone who didn’t bother trying to understand what they sought to critique and thought the people who read it were too dumb to understand that it wasn’t realistic. Commentary and subversion of tropes and media best work when they are made by people who actually like the original pieces of media because they’re the ones who are going to be aware of what is worthwhile critique of it. In making coherent criticism of a piece of media, you generally have to base them on what that work is going for, not whatever thing you wanted to see that contradicts the story and it was never written to be. When people were praising it like “finally! a realistic reaction to being isekai’d” to me, it sounded like when people on twitter go “What about a superman movie where superman has a realistic character arc and is corrupted and turned evil?” like do you even know what media you’re consuming right now? Do you know why people like it? What purpose it serves? What it’s trying to be? Kill the villainess is so ineffectual to me because it doesn't critique or satirize any actual issue of OI. I know it has the yandere male leads but so do hundreds of other novels and manhwa, trying to escape a psycho male character is the plot of so many other OI and KTV adds nothing to the topic. Sympathetic second female lead/heroine? Done already and arguably better. It hinges on a such flimsy premise and people act as if it's groundbreaking even though it misses the point because so did they.

I hate how women can’t have their wish fulfillment or badass power fantasies without someone whining because the female lead hasn’t tried to kill herself or been abused and it isn’t rEaLiStiC enough. Of course it isn’t, women get enough of watching female characters suffer on screen for the sake of realism maybe we just want to come home and read a silly story sometimes about a princess who falls in love with a knight and can heal people with magic or whatever. Men can get all the power fantasies they want in their media and have it go without any heavy criticism or great demand for realism but how dare women have nice stories where they’re not suffering constantly and yearning to get back to their shitty families/lives and can fall in love in a new fictional world more romantic than the real one. Watching people gush over miserable media simply for the fact that it is miserable and call it realistic just because the female lead is suffering and the male lead gets to do whatever, and use it to shit on the stories that women wrote in order to give some reprieve to what we already go through — the stories this genre is for — is so bleak.

Furthermore I hate the takes about how “everyone thinks these otome isekai worlds are better because magic but they’re actually suuuper lawless and dark” like no. People wanna live in these worlds because they are magical, fluffy, romantic settings where cliches can thrive, evil is always vanquished and the story is simple. It would be like saying “everyone wants to live in these beautiful disney movie kingdoms but they’re actually so dark, they’re based on medieval times so obviously even though you can see it’s only loosely based on those times, the world MUST be exactly like the dark ages. And look how they let evil sorceresses and flynn rider (convicted thief) roam around, clearly it’s a lawless land.” In most (not all) cases, it’s literally just a highly idealized setting for romance, defeating evil and living happily ever after.

It’s fine if self inserting or wish fulfillment isn’t your thing but to be blunt — find a new genre because otome isekai isn’t constantly referencing otome games for no reason. It’s self insert material. This genre wasn't and still really isn't for “realistic” tales and I don’t see the point in pretending that it is and complaining about the lack of it. That’s not to say I dislike realistic stories as a whole, just that they’re not really what otome isekai is for. I refuse to believe that people are just all around too oblivious to understand what these stories are for, I kinda just think these people make these complaints because most of the manga/manhwa is low hanging fruit and can be critiqued easily because they’re not challenging works. These people can say that they long for a more complex story with such and such subversions but those stories already exist and these people don’t seem to care to read or discuss them instead. And of course not, because those pieces of media are actually challenging and why put in the effort when you can pretend to be smart and enlightened by making pointless critiques of cliche stories? Why actually read complex media with subversions and topical commentary when you can make sure everyone knows you’re a super smart media critic by complaining about a story which never intended to be anything but silly wish fulfillment?

Look live action will always scare me to the extent that I’ve hit a point where I almost don’t care about rivens potential race anymore but honestly I just wanna know HOW THEY GONNA DO THE ANTI GRAVITY MAGENTA ONION HAIR since the new live action will apparently focuse on more “animation accuracy” I’m curious what is gonna happen with it and how it’ll look😭 tbh I’m kinda manifesting that if they refuse to do like full on magenta hair he’ll at least have like magenta dip dye or smth🤪 tbh I’d the spikey hair doesnt work irl I’d kinda dig a ponytail or manbun to kinda emulate the silhouette of an elevated hair look but that’s probably like just me but I’m excited to see what they will do with his hair😭

On the topic of the ethnicity of the specialists I think one thing I always liked about them is that because they weren’t based off irl celebrities nor do they ever specify races in the magic dimension, I like to think that everyone can have their own hcs Abt them if they’re more ambiguous. Like I guess it might get rlly confusing with helia and Saadin Bcs of helia supposedly taking a more East Asian appearance while Saladin has more southwest inspiration so I guess in terms of genetics it may not rlly seem logical to some? Idk I personally chose to ignore now and there’s rlly not much a point of reading into it as it rlly was a children’s cartoon. And everyone would have their own interpretation of it? Like I guess for me mentally I used to think riven was East Asian like musa when I was rlly young because as an East Asian who grew up in a homogenous country I always remember interracial dating being looked down upon and super unconventional where I was from and I guess I just accidentally projected and assumed since I was a kid. Now that Im older yes I’m a bit more confused but it rlly is super interesting. But I always love listening to others thoughts on characters it’s just very insightful to see how people interpret the animation differently!! I just sometimes like to see people feeling represented in the media they consume tbh

Lol ive never been a fan of live action anything. Its harder for me to suspend my disbelief when I'm looking at some guy doing magic vs a drawing ya know??

Tbh ill be happy enough if his hair is just magenta. Riven with a natural hair color is a evil crime and I will not stand for it. Dye that fuckers hair or so help me god

It would be admittly funny if they use a wig or gel the shit out of his hair, but his hair is probably gonna be just magenta and a normal hair style

Simple solution, Helia is mixed! XD thats the best way to solve all these probems

That's completely understandable, I understand why youd make that assumption, like me and Nabus braids XD

Oh if you wanna hear something about inteprations: both me and my mom thought Aisha was mixed latina and black because her hair texture doesn't have that much volume, especially next to Stormy who's hair looks far more kinky than Aisha's did. Her hair being limp and looking more curly than kinky or coily is definitely at its worst in Harmonix, which is the season I stopped watching at growing up. S6+7 are the best at giving Aisha's hair volume, which is ironic because that's when the couture art style set in, but neither me nor my mom saw that

If your wondering, its mostly the way her hair tapers off, and how it goes mostly down instead of out. It makes her hair look 3 range, which is like my mixed kid hair and less like my mother's

I hope you find that interesting ^^

favourite songs / lyrics from each album? (bc i know u love talking abt lyricism) (again, go into detail)

-> also so jealous you got to scream sorry if you're living and you're seventeen AT seventeen, must've been so life affirming :,)))

walked to work this morning with self-titled playing in preparation to answer this (I am also on a mission to rank their entire discography anyways), I have been waiting all day to write this!

self-titled — although I love all the albums, self-titled is probably the one I listen to less frequently , so you could ask me this question in about a week and it probably would’ve changed. at the moment, I’m in love with ‘settle down’ mainly because of mattys vocals saying the title in the chorus “sETtle dOWn” (the best way I can visualise it through words haha). this song is just so the 1975, especially through the guitar! other than that, I love the contrast with “and your cold and I burn” — it’s giving teenage angst. it’s giving 2014 tumblr. and I eat it up every-time. sometimes your favourite lyrics don’t have to be political takes on modernity or complex metaphorical perspectives, they can just be fun!

iliwys — this album is very hard to choose from, but I’ve managed to narrow it down to ‘ballad’ as my favourite song production wise, and ‘nana’ when looking at the lyrics. the simplicity of ‘ballad’ is what makes it stand out to me I think, and like I’ve talked before I am a massive fan of synth and baselines — the repetitiveness of the drums as it’s all layered is fantastic and just stands to show you don’t need all your songs to be complex masterpieces to work. the way the lyrics are also sung ( / spoken ) is just so therapeutic to me as it’s also once again harsh and emotional. in regards to ‘nana’, very similar to my thoughts on ‘I always wanna die (sometimes)’ , having that personal experience of loosing somebody close to you and battling with my own mental health really shifts your perspective. straight off the bat, “I wish you’d walk in again” is so strong in my opinion to open because of its relatability and sets the songs standard of having an unfiltered, honest craft. the same goes for “the things that I wished I’d said”, because, once again, this consumed my mind from my own personal experience, and shows that you’re not alone when dealing with your grief. being so strong near the end with “I think you can tell” shows the hope that no matter your religious beliefs, you want to think that they’re still connected to you even if they’re not in a physical form — the best thing that I’d ever been told was that it would be impossible for the relationship to stop existing after their gone, because your memories and experiences with them will last forever.

abiior — although I’ve already expanded on my favourites ‘give yourself a try’ and ‘I always wanna die (sometimes)’ in my other post, I thought I’d talk about my third favourite (as it’s my favourite album) being ‘sincerity is scary’. I just love the feeling I get when listening to this song because of all the instruments and the easy beat that flows the lyrics perfectly. this song is perfectly juxtaposed because of the evoked lyrics against the steady, lighthearted beat, which is what I love about not just the song, but the 1975 themselves, with matty himself saying that he knows he’s in a song. the backing choir as well? perfection. my favourite lyrics from the song would probably be “and why would you believe you could control how you’re perceived” — it’s almost provoking, “why would you”? that “why”? I think that’s what stands out the most to me. again, looking at the genius video, it’s important to know the divide that’s lost between this is what I do vs. this is what I am. a very accurate take on modern media construction!

noacf — this is probably the easiest one for me to decide, ‘nothing revealed / everything denied’ to my deathbed! probably my shortest analysis out of them all, because I genuinely believe everything that needs to be said is obvious. once again the production in solid, although I don’t have a lot to comment on — because it just fits. the bridge took me by surprise by how much I like it, because normally I wouldn’t think this would be my style. my favourite lyrics being simple, “life feels like a lie, I need something to be true.” you want to make connections to the people in your life, you want to build relationships, but sometimes all of this can get clouded because life is not simple in the slightest, hence the feeling of falsehood. you crave honesty, you crave simplicity, because that’s not what you’ll often find; questioning your own experiences against others, wanting to find answers — “Is there anybody out there?”

bfiafl — the final one! again, this was a toss up between two, ‘part of the band’ and ‘all I need to hear’ (an honourable mention to ‘about you’ as I couldn’t not mention the masterpiece that it is, this song is just an experience), however I have settled on ‘part of the band’. the whole album uses the creativity of incorporating all of these different instruments to create a dynamic and layered approach which I believed is showcased to its fullest ability within ‘part of the band’, especially when you watch the podcast episodes behind the production. fun fact; the first time I listened to this song, I did not like it at all and couldn’t understand the hype (oh how I grew to love it). funnily enough, one of my favourite lyrics is “cumming to her lookalikes” because of how unfiltered and (sort of?? a bit of a reach) masculine it feels, I feel like this lyric goes best with the whole ‘at their very best’ era and really plays into mattys character, it creates like a melancholy feeling? other than that, “that feeling on the internet, it’s like someone intended it” really grabs your attention in realising how far we’ve come through media consumption and how it’s designed for you, in all the good ways and all the bad ways. it’s manipulative, and it’s dangerous. finally, “am I ironically woke? the butt of my joke?” speaks for itself. I hate saying it’s so ‘meta’ (because I do not want to be cringe), but that’s the best way of putting it — and I love it. my personal project that I have to complete in college is all about the responsibilities that we’ve handed to famous people and the expectations that have exceeded them just being band members or just being actors, and I think matty healy is the perfect example.

and that’s that. so many thoughts my brain is now foggy asf. and yes it was so validating screaming I’m sorry if you’re living and your seventeen I’m afraid I’ll never experience something like it again :’)

If you usually involuntarily regress but can't, do you have any tips for easing yourself back into it during stressful times?

thats a good question and m flattered u came to me! my regression is only involuntarily, i think, so when i wanna i expose myself to (positive) triggers. ive been in the same situation and its pretty frustrating, but from my own experience, heres some stuff ive noticed! also pls forgive how long this turned out lol i ramble and have a lot of thoughts just like, as a person

⭐️ don’t force it. i think sometimes the kid in you just needs a break to recharge, or may even think the situations not “safe” enough right at this moment.

⭐️ age dreaming is super nice even if you find urself unable to slip lately, including just stuff like media with/for younger folks if thats not usually your jam anyway. if you do end up slipping, great! if not, then you got to have fun and maybe consume some art, win-win

im taking this opportunity to recommend the youtube series Recess Therapy bc it makes me laugh

⭐️ a lot of the time my triggers are within age regression tumblr itself! including CG blogs and agere fics especially, theres something so nice in knowing theres people that could readily accept and love a part of you you might otherwise hide

⭐️ regression is easiest when i’m tired, so getting comfy with kiddo or baby bedtime and working outwards is how i personally tend to do it when i haven’t in a while.

another recommendation, and i actually recommend this to my big friends too and use it sometimes when im big but too anxious to sleep bc i have a lot of trouble with that, is the podcast Little Stories for Tiny People! its literally just so good i cant praise it enough

⭐️ all in all, just.. try not to worry about it too much. involuntary regression is, as u know, pretty organic and its in the name itself, hard to control.

💕🧸🌈

get cozy, do what makes you feel secure, get yourself some fruit, it’s gonna be ok. you’re gonna regress again when you’re ready, and when you do, on some level, the wait will be worth it

WOO MORE TAG GAMES! keep em coming never stop tagging me! this time i got tagged by @xenon-demon :D and it’s 15 questions

are you named after anyone? not that i know of

when was the last time you cried? i’ve cried a fair bit recently hmmm i think during therapy last week

do you have kids? no i am just a little guy (21) and do not know how to interact with children under the age of 10

do you use sarcasm a lot? to be honest, not really? i do enjoy a good sarcastic back and forth tho

what sports do you play/have you played? i’ve never really been into sports.. living up to my truth as a gay stereotype

what’s the first thing you notice about people? i think accessories? i’m pretty bad at recognising faces and other physical attributes at first but i’ve realised recently with my current friends like the identifier i used for them when we first met was like ‘the girl with the winnie the pooh pencil case’ or ‘the girl with the cool disney princess backpack’

what’s your eye colour? so grey-ish blue but i have a ring around my pupil of like an orangey-brown that is kind of cool

scary movies or happy endings? i am a big baby so happy endings. especially if it’s a satisfying happy ending and i am emotionally attached to any of the characters. i do REALLY ENJOY depressing movies though so… but scary movies? absolutely not i hate the feeling of waiting for a jumpscare to happen

any special talents? i don’t think so. just an average little guy right here

where were you born? so so very scared of doxing myself bc the uk is SMALL so bottom half of england

what are your hobbies? reading and writing, playing a lot of video games (rn ive been getting back into truck simulator that shit is SOOOO calming, and i’m also a big valorant guy and a big minecraft/cosy games guy). i guess also like consuming media? idk not many hobbies to be honest but i wanna try and find a not screen related hobby over summer that i can do when i’m anxious like i wanna learn how to crochet or something

do you have pets? yes i have a dog he is the best boy ever and he turns 12 rly soon. he’s a little old man and the fur on his chin has gone grey bc of it

how tall are you? 5’4 and proud. perfect hug height for taller people

favourite subject in school? before i got to choose gcses and stuff? english, but once we got to choose, media studies <3

dream job? am another fuck capitalism i don’t dream of labour girlie, but i want to work in some sort of design position. maybe something in publishing design? or creative advertising? idk i dream moreso about future experiences than where i will make my money to live

not gonna tag 15 people bc i’m sleepy but here are a few (sorry if you’ve done this already) @beep-beep-robin @spectrum-spectre @italiansteebie @stregoniconiconii

On the topic of contradicting narrative and lore in Houses/Hopes, that the other anon brought up: I don't wanna offense anyone but suggesting that we should ignore all contradicting information just to accept "Church bad" and not think about it further seems to easy for me. Ofc anyone should enjoy games like they want to and some things are left to interpretation, so it's ok to come to different conclusions on some things. But I think it doesn't hurt to be skeptical, especially when a game [1]

[3] supplies routes from different perspectives of people who don't speak to each other, or at least not in attempt of any diplomacy. Sometimes you stumble upon things in one route that you as a player know aren't true bc you played the other routes and know more about the other's motivation than the cast. And that also applies to the Church and Rhea, who never get even one explicit quote in which she tells us how she really thinks about any change in Fodlan. That's why after all this time [2]

[3] peope still argue about Edelgard, Rhea, Dimitri and now Claude, too. Who is right, who is wrong, bla bla. Maybe none of them are. Maybe it's left contradicting and ambiguous intentionally, so people can come to their own interpretation/conclusion and so that no one has the feeling of rooting for the "wrong" side, wether you love the Church, the Eagles, the Lions or the Deers. And honestly? Not even the narrative in Hopes sold me on "Church bad/needs to go". It still feels like El is waging

[4] her war to conquer all of Fodlan to bring the change she wishes for. The Church is part of what needs to change and also a scapegoat for the bigger unification plan. Claude is using her war for his own gain, oppurtinistic as he is. And Dimitri just tries to protect Faerghus and his people, no matter what. Rhea... exists in this game, that's all you can say lol - so yeah, the Church needs to change, like all of Fodlan. Do we need a continet-wide war and Rhea's death for that? Not so sure.

You bring up a lot of good points, anon.

but suggesting that we should ignore all contradicting information just to accept "Church bad" and not think about it further seems to easy for me

That was exactly my problem. It was just “accepting what you are told despite all the evidence otherwise” that bothers me. Why would I accept what the story is telling me if the supporting evidence just doesn’t work?

Take Rings of Power. The narrative tells me that Galadriel is an awesome, strong female warrior who should be rooted for and well respected. But all the rest of the evidence shows me a whiny, teenage brat who nearly kills her allies and forces everyone to give her what she wants. I cannot stand RoP Galadriel, yet the narrative clearly wants me to love her. It does not recognize that her actions are atrocious. In fact, it celebrates and rewards them. 

Just accepting what something wants you to believe is lazy. That attitude encourages consumption of media without critical thinking. Just consume. Don’t think.

But I think it doesn't hurt to be skeptical, especially when a game [1] supplies routes from different perspectives of people who don't speak to each other, or at least not in attempt of any diplomacy. Sometimes you stumble upon things in one route that you as a player know aren't true bc you played the other routes and know more about the other's motivation than the cast.

Yes! This is called “Dramatic irony”, when the audience knows something the characters don’t. Dramatic irony can be great because it can build suspense, either positively or negative.

You know that character is the murderer. But the guy waltzing around with the murderer doesn’t know. You bite your nails. Will the murderer kill him?

Or you know that the girl has a crush on the other girl. But the other girl doesn’t know. Oh man, will she tell her? How long must I wait? Oh, the suspense! 

Hopes and Houses has dramatic irony and does.... nothing with it. In fact, it acts as if it doesn’t even have it. If I played AG first, then played GW (without Houses context), then I will know that the stuff about Rhea forcing people to follow her religion or trying to keep out foreigners doesn’t make sense! And I’m waiting for the GD crew to figure that out. So suddenly go “Oh shit, we were wrong! Wait, Rhea is a dragon? There is a even bigger threat at hand?!”

But that never happens. The game just pretends that you just don’t know AG’s side, and you are dragged through the mud watching your characters not only be ignorant, but even stupid. 

It still feels like El is waging her war to conquer all of Fodlan to bring the change she wishes for. The Church is part of what needs to change and also a scapegoat for the bigger unification plan. Claude is using her war for his own gain, oppurtinistic as he is. And Dimitri just tries to protect Faerghus and his people, no matter what. Rhea... exists in this game, that's all you can say lol

I mean like... pretty much. Lol

(about that post you made yesterday abt how you just don’t like male centric media) i think the problem for me is that the genres or whatever you wanna call them that i like the most don’t have good female representation, or even if they do hardly any are lesbian, and if it came between reading abt an osa couple or reading abt a gay male couple i would choose the latter. with books it’s pretty easy to just get one that has good representation for gay male couples and then just imagine them as butch women in my head (it always throws me off when i see fanart or something and it’s like woah! that’s a man) if all the male centric media i consumed genderswapped all the characters i would like it 1000x better, but i deal (& i know it’s like ‘write the book you want to read!’ but i suck at writing). i don’t watch a lot of tv, but as far as shows go there are actually a few good ones with female main characters, like the half of it (you should watch that if you haven’t) you mentioned heartstopper.. everyone was so obsessed with heartstopper but some parts were kinda bad cringy to watch, since i just literally can’t take males seriously lmao.. same with young royals and things like that. like every single tv show with/about a lesbian romance got canceled and the movie prom sucked. i don’t know, male centric media doesn’t always bore me but i wish there was just better female centric, lesbian centric, etc.

i can kinda get u bc i love dystopian novels n i read those without much trouble bc idk it’s easier to pretend they’re not men anyways but like if it’s shows or movies i generally avoid ones that r very male-heavy. if it’s about gay men usually i can handle it a bit better bc i can relate somewhat but like het men … no thanks. or ones that r male-centric in a different way like the TV show You.. for one it’s all him obsessing over other women so women are a p big part of the show but it shows men from a diff perspective so i like it. but dexter for example… tried to watch it like 5 different times, never got past like episode 6 or sth. there’s def some exceptions for me but generally i get instantly bored if a show or movie is mainly about men or from a male perspective. when it’s gay men it’s sth i can watch sometimes tho, but those are also rare. also ur right lesbian representation sucks.. anon if u like tho maybe u should check out the 100. the het scenes r ignorable and it’s not great lesbian rep either but it’s got a lot of female MCs & the main character is like. obsessed with a certain lesbian hehe.

also thank u for the rec!!! i did watch half of it. i loved the lesbian rep and the fact that she had this dumbass straight male friend who respected her 😭 also iirc the ending was more realistic but still somewhat happy ?? it was nice. i liked blue is the warmest colour a lot bc the story is sad as hell and the actresses are AMAZING but the sex scenes are way too much (i first watched it with my mom when i was like 15… it was very awkward. she asked me questions that i did not want to be asked) & also the actresses said the director (male) was.. not good to say the least. i also wanna watch the colour purple, i finished the book recently and was weeping.. i loved hearing from the perspective of a traumatised lesbian who clearly didn’t understand her own feelings bc i could somewhat relate and getting to see her grow 😭😭.. it’s just so well written. orphan black, wentworth, sugar rush… just some faves w memorable lesbian rep

there’s soooo many shows ive watched just for lesbian rep and most are pretty terrible. do not watch riverdale, or tales of the city, feel good (the plot twist at season 1 is that she’s not actually a lesbian which. idk why they had to make that a plot twist lmfao… i would’ve been fine knowing she’s a masc bi woman from episode 1), or gypsy.

mai as one of the older kids on sfw enhablr (not saying ur old !! 😭😭 it’s just that there’s a lot of minors on here) how do you feel abt the current content for the maknae line? like ik it’s not always super sexualized or anything but sometimes i see stuff that’s just the way it’s worded really rubs me the wrong way ☹️ esp bc some of the kids on here are so young it makes me feel like if they see stuff like that , they might start think it’s okay for others to treat them the same or vice verse … whenever i see edits of niki on tiktok , i have to avoid the comments bc there’s almost always like a “daddy” , “how is he 16” or “you don’t know what you do to me” like wtf he’s a literal child ?? it makes me so mad and honestly so uncomfortable :( and i saw an article on kboo today too that said niki apparently has around 200 explicit or mature fics written abt him on ao3 … sometimes even the fboi trope (usually when it’s written abt minors) bothers me bc i see minors writing abt it (like 13-15 y/o) and i don’t understand why they don’t just use the term player or smtg … bc they’ll go out of their way to mention how the character has sex a lot an whatnot , even that feels way too suggestive for me personally for a minor too write let aline abt a minor too , sorry for the rant,, i was just wondering how you felt … omg also though tbh i noticed that some of the minors on here / blogs in gen seem way too comfy on here like they’ll be sharing where they live , their actual names and sometimes like giving a lot of personal info … like did they not learn abt internet safety or do they just no care? as one of the older kids , i kind of worry abt them :( i really hope everybody stays safe on here <3 & some reminders: never be afraid to block anyone ! bc i’ve seen a lot of minors on here get sent stuff from the p*rn bots or just weird dms :( & u don’t need to force yourself to interact with someone , make sure ur comfy with them first !

“AS ONE OF THE OLDER KIDS” ANON DO U HATE ME 😭😭😭😭😭 IS THIS A HATE ASK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 GAHDHSJAHSKAK IM JUST KIDDING AJDJSHA THAT MADE ME LAUGH FR 😭😭😭 BUT I MIGHT KMS WATCH IT HAPPEN

OOOFTTT N E WAYS SHDHAHA i’m not sure if i’m the most equipped to talk about this, so as a preemptive disclaimer: this is just my opinion from what i’ve personally seen!! (this is super long? i’m so sorry 😭 there’s a tldr at the bottom if u wanna skip hehe)

tbh, i haven’t actually consumed much maknae line content (for obvious reasons, firstly heeseung has a, uh strong grip on me but also i personally just find myself more comfy w hyung line content) so i frankly haven’t seen an overwhelming amount of suggestive content w the maknae line, although i don’t doubt it exists. i definitely agree that there are times where i think the line has been crossed - like the examples you’ve cited, there are the few “daddy” comments here and there, and the weird thirst comments on tiktok too. i always give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the people making these comments are also minors who are a similar age to niki, which makes me feel a little better altho at the end of the day sexualising minors is always pretty wrong no matter who’s doing it. like you said, it’s wrong bc it makes it easier for adults to do it, and i would hate for minors to think it’s normal for other people to sexualise them! in saying that, if you’re an adult and you’re making these comments about minors, pls seek help and find someone ur age lmfao 😭😭 there’s a four year gap between niki and me and i literally find it mind-boggling to see him in such an overtly sexual way 😭

however, if you’re truly asking for my honest, honest opinion, i feel like this kind of topic is nuanced and there are some considerations to take place — as a blanket rule, there are things that are strictly prohibited of course. writing smut as a minor about an adult or another minor? no. writing smut as an adult ABOUT a minor? absolutely disgusting. any other content that’s explicitly sexual (for example, making a tiktok about niki grinding on the floor and comparing it to sex or whatever) is also so so wrong in my opinion.

i think it’s totally fine to find niki attractive (i also think he’s so handsome like fr… slay king), it’s just when you sexualise him that it gets hella weird. however, i do feel bad shaming minors for calling niki hot or sexy or whatever because i feel like the problem isn’t necessarily with them. with social media and the entertainment industry in general, i feel like sexualising minors has become so insidiously pervasive that you’ll literally see it everywhere. it’s becoming more and more normalised; think about charli damelio or britney spears or lindsay lohan or natalie portman and that role she played as a kid who had a relationship w an older man… society is just fucking disgusting and so geared toward exploiting kids for money that it feels normal to minors to sexualise other minors, i.e. calling niki sexy. not saying it isn’t wrong bc i don’t agree w it personally, but i understand why they do it because that’s probably exactly what society/the kpop industry wants :/ also, i feel like with our slang evolving and everything, we’re so quick to say shit like “daddy” without even thinking about it. sometimes hot is used interchangeably w handsome or attractive. anon i agree!! it makes me really mad and uncomfortable when people say that shit about niki too. if it were up to me, we’d let children be children and let niki live his life without being called fuckable. it’s disgusting, i hate it, that article about the 266 fics grossed me out :(

ive not personally seen fics about niki being a “player” or a “frat boy that gets around” but i agree that that’s really suggestive. particularly the “has a lot of sex” part, bc what?? 😭😭 i guess i don’t mind the “player” or “bad boy” part because personally i only ever think of those words as an aesthetic. characterisation is really important! i hope people aren’t writing about niki being a super sexual bad boy bc yeah…. ://///

internet safety is rlly important too!! id be a massive hypocrite if i said i wasn’t on the internet before i was 13 tho, so i feel like what’s most important is practising internet safety! yeah probably not a great idea to reveal your name/location and shove your pictures in every corner of the internet 😭 i think enhablr gives a false sense of security because most of the people here are also minors, so it doesn’t seem like the place you’re going to get preyed on by adults. but yeah, i suppose the danger is that you open yourself up to unsolicited porn asks (which i recently saw on my dash happened to someone) because people on the internet are fucked up 😐 i think at the end of the day if you’re being safe and you’re aware that people on the internet can be sick motherfuckers, minors on the internet is totally okay.

tl;dr — i hate it, pls don’t call niki daddy, pls don’t sexualise him in such an explicit way because there’s a line between finding him attractive (and allowing yourself to indulge in the “boyfriend” image the kpop industry loves to sell) and sexualising a minor. it’s wrong, it’s harmful, let’s all be rlly cool and happy and stream manifesto day 1 🙏🙏🙏🙏 thank u anon for asking!! i’m happy you wanted to know my opinion and hope my words make sense. i’m pretty horrible at expressing myself so if there’s any thing that needs clarification just let me know !! lots of luv 💖💖🥹🫶

since twt is being a bitch and locked me out of both my accs for god knows what reason i’m gonna rant here bc mostly no one will see it which is kinda what i want so i’ll start w the twt thing i know it shouldn’t bother me this much but it is bc it’s triggering my ocd (would love to be normal for once btw) and i need to start using it less if i get my accs back that is (which i’ll hopefully i guess) bc i’m clearly getting too attached to a fucking social media site only bc i can talk to people on there who kinda get me??? like what happened to having actual irl friends this is frustrating lmao but then also i don’t like anyone i meet irl so maybe i’m the problem. second thing it’s 3:30 in the morning rn and i’ve an exam tomorrow well today technically and it’ll start from 8ish so i’ll have to leave by 7:15 and for that i’ll have to wake up by 6:30 max and i can’t sleep clearly which is a huge problem and i’m now also thinking abt how i just need a break from evth like i simply need evth to stop but it’s really not a like uh i can’t even skip school bc of the exam so that’s clearly not a viable option and it’s so annoying bc i’m really tired and i just can’t deal w anything anymore damnit like in general too like i’m trying so hard right now but school is just getting too much and even tho there’s only like 4 more months left of it (and then tons of exams) i still feel like i can't to do this anymore cause the stress is literally consuming me and i’m not sure if i’ll make it to graduation (and i’m not even sure if i want if i’m being really honest) because my mental health is literally on a downward spiral but then again it feels like it has always been and now i’m kinda losing track and i also don’t know why i decided to write this here but the point i just really really need evth to stop i don’t wanna deal with any of this it hurts so so much and i just fckin need it to stop uh anyway i need to sleep and this might be getting concerning so i’ll stop and go try to sleep i guess

(im going off your last ask about the horror fandoms) but yeah, Horror fans and YouTuber fans share the same kind of unhinged nature about them. I cant put my finger on it, but its just...there. i had someone ask to commission me for Outlast art. It's been awhile, so i go and see whats up w fandom and the game in general (the last one i played was Whistleblower? I think ) I go in, see a bunch of ppl hounding someone bc they dont like a very popular ship. I shit you not, someone got upset and said that 'They aren't happy enough. I combed thur their blog and most of it was negative' like ??? You don't hear yourself? That's fucking nuts. You can't decide if a person deserves death threats and name-calling bc they don't smile enough for you? The fuck? Needless to say, I did Not accept the commission request. I don't wanna be anywhere near that nosie

Yeah Jesus. At some point certain unhinged areas of fandom decided that consuming content in a visible way and enjoying content we’re both = uncritically liking every single character and aspect all the time, and it’s ridiculous. Like people can feel however they want, including negatively, and if you don’t want to see that you??? Block them?? Like a normal human? I love Days Gone—obsessed w it. Went into the tag and one person was there a lot live blogging a playthrough very negatively, and I disagreed with like everything they said, and it was slightly annoying, so I like a normal and rational human just dropped that block and kept scrolling, bc they have a right to consume content how they like whether or not I agree with their enjoyment or lack thereof, or opinions. It’s really not hard. But yeah, idk, a lot of current fandom has devolved into this utterly bland “love and stan every character and if you criticize or dislike anyone or anything you’re a hater and a Bad Person” where no opinions really mean anything because everyone just trying to be sanatized in the least original way so as to offend no one ever in their consumption, and be seen as an ally to every aspect of consuming. Drives me up the fuckin wall. I have so much more respect for someone who dislikes something openly for their own reasons whether I agree or not, than a bland Yes Man trying to kiss up to everyone who might exist as if like, horror media is a Dora the Explorer appreciation scrapbooking party. The amount of rage and hate directed towards anyone who dislikes anything is fucking wild.