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fanfic-inator795 · 1 year

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While I’m getting my Bad Guys thoughts out, I just I’ll have to say: I think it’s fascinating that Wolf and Snake are both ‘dishonest’ in a sense, but go about it in comPLETELY different ways that fit perfectly with their characters.

Snake will act like he doesn’t care, putting on a grumpy persona and talking about how much he ‘hates’ his best friends, but everyone- including him - knows it’s just an act. And while it doesn’t necessarily apply to his fellow Bad Guys anymore, I get the feeling that Snake has been putting on this act as a defense mechanism of sorts for a long time to avoid people getting too close.

But once people break through those barriers - once they show that they’re able to like and accept the so-called ‘worst’ parts of Snake and still want to be his friend - Snake is willing to be a bit more honest and open. The most obvious moment is when he point-blank asks Wolf if anything’s changed regarding their plan. Someone who refused to be honest with their feelings would simply ignore the growing mistrust, leading to them being all passive aggressive instead. But Snake actually gives Wolf a chance to come clean. He’s not being accusatory or hostile, he may want to be assured but he also just wants The Truth.

Ironically enough, while Snake may pretend to be bad in the film’s third act, both his argument with Wolf and his reconciliation with him are completely open and emotionally honest - he WANTS Wolf to know how much he hurt him, and then he wants him to know how much he still loves him. It’s a great aspect of his character.

Wolf, meanwhile, may seem a lot more social, yet is putting on just as much of an act as Snake does. He’s the smooth-talking leader, guiding his team and always looking and planning ahead even when things go wrong. He doesn’t like to dwell on conflict, and tends to sweep both issues and his own feelings under the rug out of fear. Of course, this completely blows up in his face - both when he refuses to let Snake know about how he’s starting to second-guess being bad, and when he tries to just disregard their major argument in the person as just their usual serve-and-volley dynamic.

(And you gotta love how when he IS trying to be honest with his feelings, he goes and says something he doesn’t actually mean, about how maybe the other Bad Guys are holding him back. I love you Wolf but also gdi Wolf you’re so stupid)

Like Snake, I think Wolf’s act is meant as a defense mechanism - but he’s defending himself against his own feelings of self-doubt than he is against the cruel outside world. He can’t drop the act, because then… what is he?

If he can’t be the smooth-talking planner who’s always a step ahead, then what kind of leader is he? (What use is he to his gang?) If he can’t keep a cool and level head, then doesn’t that just make him the angry, scary Big Bad Wolf that everyone sees him as?

Of course Wolf doesn’t want to let his friends down, but more than anything he seems to be holding himself up to an impossible standard because we know deep down he doesn’t want to be angry or scary or a failure. He wants to be cool and confident and happy, so that’s what he tries to be and what he’s always trying to prove to himself - even if it means being dishonest with both himself and the people he loves most.

Wolf and Snake could both be described as dishonest liars at different points in the film, but while Wolf will lie until the truth is dragged out of him - either by circumstance or by peaking emotions that make it impossible to hold it in any longer - Snake will simply lean into how others would typically already see him (mean, grumpy, snake-like and willing to switch sides) but at the same time seems to understand his own emotions incredibly well.

Snake may be the one who has to learn and accept that he can be good despite what others may think, but Wolf is the one who has to learn that it’s okay to be honest with who he is and what he’s feeling. By the end of the film, they’re both much more honest - and of course, they’re better off for it ^v^

BTW, if you all are looking for a fanfic rec that sorta focuses on Wolf’s character (and character flaws), I would highly recommend “Sleepwalking Shenanigans” by @kyotosummer . It can be found on AO3, and it is an absolutely fanTASTic read that captures the characters - Wolf and Snake especially - perfectly, along with having a fun and enjoyable story to boot! ^v^

#dreamworks the bad guys #the bad guys #mr. wolf #mr. snake #apologies for how long this got. I just love these characters so much

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olliethescribe · 1 year

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Rewatching season one of Rottmnt to write a canon compliant fic for Oz - have come away with the headcanon that Hypno has rejection sensitive dysphoria.

Here are all of the notes I’ve taken while watching - most canon and some headcanons supported by canon! I also wrote this at 2 in the morning so bear with me.

There’s a lot so all notes will be under the cut!

Notes: (bonus note: Hypno’s impressed by April figuring out one of his and Warren’s routines and even gives her a pat on the shoulder. He’d be a cool dad, I think)

Warren’s absurdly dramatic, way more than I remembered. He’s also the one that hurls more insults, cares far more about his looks, and has actually kissed himself in the mirror. Needs to be the center of attention - was disheartened and annoyed when the camera panned away from him in Newsworthy, several times. He also has a very interesting manner of speaking (typical New Yorker but definitely the gay theater kid who couldn’t find work as an actor so he became a news anchor - least those are the vibes - probably recites musicals to Hypno and gets super into them), putting a more dramatic flair and bravado to his voice when ‘fighting’ the turtles. Craves power and doesn’t care about who he hurts, doesn’t attempt to avoid pain since he knows he can’t, he’s even hurt Hypno in his debut episode by reflecting his hypnotic powers back at him (this comes back around in WHSIAT).

Just thought of this one now, the apartment we see him living in totally isn’t the one he originally lived in before his mutation. He lost everything, including the ability to access his bank account. He could afford a nicer place, but that money is tied up where he can’t reach.

This next one kinda pissed me off - they purposely block out his eye color from when he was human, leaving artists and writers alike to guess, a detriment to the 12 people actively making content for him /hj

Very pathetic, but realistically is probably very depressed. Keeps reminding himself of his old life and only really makes efforts at being relevant so he’d get back on TV no matter what. Needs attention to feel validated.

If I keep thinking about Warren Stone I will make myself sad. Moving on.

-Hypno is a bit more cockney than I remembered. Rhys really leans into the accent.

-Hypno holds people to their promises, expects that promises will be made good on, makes good on his own (no betrayals).

-He’s also kinda easy to trick which is ironic.

-Hates pain of all kinds and avoids it if he can (we see this after Hypno! Part Deux - in ‘Stuck On You’ he says “don’t come any closer!” “that’s close enough!” as he backed away from the turtles, and “not again” right before getting punched through another wall) tries to do the same for others by avoiding putting them through pain (he mostly runs away or puts people in magic traps / hypnotizes them if he can, the rings and physical fights being a last resort in every occurance other than his debut) (especially avoids inflicting pain if he cares about the person a lot - felt terrible about having to betray and hypnotize Warren so his roomie would be allowed to live - which ended in a second betrayal by Draxum).

-Damn, this man is kinda bad at being evil.

-Hypno likes pet names, and I mean the endearing affectionate partner kind. In WHSIAT, he calls Warren “my Warren '' which is heart meltingly sweet. He also calls him: roomie, best friend, golden voiced amigo, pal, magical assistant, and more!

-(Headcanon based on canon evidence) Hypno’s guarded when it comes to his emotions - specifically in terms of romance. The guy’s been tricked before as seen in Newsworthy, a trick that really hurts. Most likely took him a long time to warm up to the thought of Warren being a romantic partner since he feared rejection.

personal headcanon, both he and Warren have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - but Hypno has it worse

-Hypno cares about Doug - his previous hippo assistant - to the point that he’d raise him from the dead. (Oh look, a normal note)

-These are all just about Hypno now, with some headcanons supported by canon in there too-

dramatic in the flashy and showy performance way, seems less over the top than Warren

not above necromancy, then again, before Warren it seems like Doug was his only friend so that could be why

Would most likely come to blows with anyone that dyes animals different colors for events. He loves his pets/magical assistants and to see someone so flagrantly disregard the life of an animal for entertainment would piss him off.

hopeless romantic, and not just ‘cause of the hormones used in Newsworthy - (the whole ‘they pulled the fake Jenny on me’ line seals the deal - he’s most likely been set up on blind dates that have gone nowhere/ editing to add catfished and straight up made fun of. This is one lonely man and that’s terrible)

This next one’s strangely canon and weird - interesting doubled voice effect when he hypnotizes people but it only shows up twice (Newsworthy and Stuck On You), like the writing team wasn’t sure about it

Warren is his first major relationship and he fell super hard. It’s very obvious - this man is ultra protective of his worm roommate and would go through hell for him. He has gone through hell for him (not in the Orpheus way but he would do that too). Can’t stand being without him, super affectionate, the pet names and little comments, searching for Warren the second they get him back and giving him smooches, how he feels awful for being a bad roomie and knows that Warren notices his lack of effort around the house but doesn’t say anything, and the sweet gesture of baking Warren a birthday cake and jumping out of it to be extra dazzling proves that he’s investing a lot into this relationship. Even April points out how in love Hypno is with Warren by the end of the episode, saying that Warren’s life matters more to some people (looking directly at Hypno as he looks lovingly at his ‘roommate’ - hahaha it’s fruit city up in here) than some piece of armor.

#headcanon #taking notes #i need to write this man’s accent as ever so slightly thicker - wonderful #warren stone #hypno potamus #hypnowarren #rottmnt #There’s gonna be more notes taken at a time where I am not eepy #love these idiots - they’re so disgustingly co-dependent - it’s beautiful

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br4inr0tx · 1 year

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Hey darling! Match-up for Hazbin Hotel and The Arcana, please? 💕 I am a woman, INFP, 5'3", mid size, olive skin, brown eyes, medium wavy brown hair, bisexual. I'm aroflux, which means I experience variations in my romantic attraction. I mostly don't sense it, but if I actually end up getting a crush, I'll feel like I've been ran over by 100 unicorns. I'm a very friendly introvert. I am bubbly around my close friends, always super affectionate and supportive, however, going out and seeing people (even if pleasant) makes me run out of battery and I value my recharge/private time and personal space a lot. I like being alone often and enjoying my own company in peace. I am very sensitive, I love animals and feel empathy for all creatures, that's why I am strongly against killing bugs and other little ones when it can be avoided (I just put them outside, plus I find spiders adorable and I like letting them crawl on my arm). I get along with animals because I am very respectful towards them, and I've ridden horses for a while. I am a vegetarian who's trying to go vegan, and I enjoy cooking homemade meals. I dislike foods like McDonald's (no shame to whoever likes it tho!), and when I go outside to eat with my non-veg friends I sometimes bring something from home because I am scared there may not be food for me. I have a sweet tooth and I love cake, muffins, sweets pretty much (I am a weakling, give me a cupcake and I'll do anything you ask me), while I dislike bitter things. I do have pets, cats specifically, and I am NOT being dramatic when I say I'd die for them. I am fascinated by the macabre and a horror lover, both books and movies, and I can pretty much stand the sight of anything in films, but when I see flesh in the supermarket I cringe, and I am also terrified of the dark and never sleep without a little light on (how ironic). I enjoy dressing with stuff such as ribbons, hairpins with cute animals, colorful baggy shirts with cartoon characters etc., but I alternate this with sophisticated, more mature/vintage looks as well. My dream is to become a theatre actress, that's why I'm in a theatre academy! I am training in singing and coreographies, too (I am not very good because I just started tho🥲). I love acting because it makes me exorcise my strongest emotions, I am a very expressive person and I often feel like my energy needs to come out in spikes. [1/2, sending another ask with the rest because Tumblr still puts the 500 word limit on me!]

Fello theater kid I see? 🤝🖤

warning: dead animal/bug mention

your Hazbin Hotel matchup is.. Charlie Morningstar !!

• I have a very good felling you’d get along with Charlie. She matches your energy a lot in my opinion!

• She’s WAY taller then you. 6’-6’2 I believe. Any demon in hell (aside from imps) would be taller then you if we’re following Viv’s universe.

• The both of you are very friendly, so I’d imagine you’d get along very quick. Just by exchanging names I’d imagine Charlie would consider you a friend.

• Charlie gives enough equal support as you do with her. She doesn’t run on a social battery (as far as we’ve seen.), but understands you do. She leaves you be meanwhile she attends to the hotel.

• Charlie adores animals and bugs! Literally she will cry if she do a dead animal or bug on the road.

• I think she likes to home cook and bake, and would for sure do it with you if you ask!

• Only thing is, she’s not a vegetarian or vegan. I’d assume you respect her decisions, and usually doesn’t eat with you if you have an issue with it. Who knows, maybe you could convince her to go vegan if you if you wish?

• To match her sweet personality, I’d imagine she likes sweets too! Baking is something the two of you often do together.

• The two of you are cat moms! She loves your cats and would also die for them.

• She lives in hell, so I’m sure she’s accustomed to horror. She’s open to discuss it anytime with you.

• She LOVES watching horror movies with you especially!

• Charlie also loves to help you pick cute outfits. She likes to wear baggy and cutesy stuff when she’s not running the hotel or trying to be presentable I imagine, so she gets it.

• She gives massive theater kid energy. Like, have you seen her song? She’d definitely support you full force. She has to run the hotel though, so unfortunately I don’t think she’d be able to audition with you.

• Charlie can be messy and forgetful too, so the both of you can back each other up. (Try bracelet reminders! Those help me!)

• Charlie finds dad jokes funny. I will fight people on that.

• She doesn’t stand for bullying! It’s against the hotel too! She gets the same amount of rage when she sees someone hurt as you. Seriously, the two of you would be like two angry mothers defending their kid.

• For me, Charlie does acts of service without even realizing it. She does things for you without thinking just because she loves you.

• She does occasionally use pet names like "love" and "hun".

• She always asks permission before touching you. It’s a common thing for her, as she respects everyone’s boundaries and is a genuine therapist for everyone that needs it.

• I imagine she listens to the same stuff as you, maybe minus rock and metal. Not to say she isn’t open to it, it’s just not her thing.

• She loves to indulge in your hobbies! Even if she’s not good at them. Art for example; she likes to color though! She’s an amazing colorist imo.

• She’s a good balance for you. She treats you as an equal, and sees your opinions from your shoes. She hopes you’d do the same.

• Charlie is very good with kids, so she can quickly deal with them and get them out of your hair. That being said, I don’t think she’d necessarily want kids.

• Your runner ups would be Vaggie and Alastor!

• Overall, Charlie is the best match for you! Her spunky attitude will get you out of any funk your in, but as well motivate you. She understands your boundaries as on sad days she needs them too! Charlie gets you, and she hopes you get her too.

your Arcana matchup is.. Nadia Satrinava !!

• Nadia is the one for you! Portia was a close runner up, but I ultimately decided on the flip of a coin because I literally couldn’t decide. I can always type something out for Portia if you’re interested in her!

• She is also quite a bit taller then you. She doesn’t talk about it though.

• Nadia is a smooth talker, though I’d imagine she also has a social battery and appreciates her alone time much like you do.

• I believe Lucio’s dogs are still in the mansion? They aren’t easy to befriend, but who knows? You might be able to, but be careful. I don’t really remember since it’s been years since I REALLY touch Arcana, but I think the two dogs enjoy or tolerate her presence. In that case, they might be okay with you.

• She often prepares the best food for you, whatever you crave or desire. She’s not the best at cooking, and often leaves it for her servants, but she’d adore it if you taught her.

• Fancy for sweets? She’ll feed you all the sweets in the world! Most likely you’d need to be the one to tell her to stop.

• She takes interest in dark subjects sometimes, especially when it’s something she’s interested in. She’s always open to talk about them, as she loves making conversation.

• As for theater, she doesn’t know much about it but attends to all of your shows your casted in, making sure to get the best seats in the house every time.

• Nadia would love to learn more languages, and she’d ask you to teach her in your spare time.

• She’s very patient when it comes to knowing you, knowing sometimes you just can’t help but get distracted. She might tease you a little in a playful way, but she always means well.

• She enjoys listening to you ramble. As I mentioned she loves any sort of chit-chat. I think because it gets her mind off of the stresses of royal life.

• She finds your jokes funny. Seeing you happy makes her happy, even if she doesn’t find your jokes particularly funny.

• Her main love language is acts of service, and she does so much for you it’s unreal.

• She provide lots of beautiful cutesy loose-fitting gowns and just as you seem to live. Of course if you’d prefer to wear something other then a gown, that’s on the table as well.

• If you want cuddles, she’s quick to go in for them. At first she’s a little stand-offish I feel, but with your encouragement she excepts it wholeheartedly.

• She enjoys when you paper her back, and it always manages to get her to blush like crazy. She finds it extremely adorable (and slightly unexpected? But that’s just because she can be pessimistic, not because she thinks you don’t love her at all or she thinks lowly of you.). Also, always expect her to pamper you back twice as much afterward.

• She doesn’t seem like the type to want children? Even if she did, she’d always rely on your judgement first.

• You and Nadia would make a good and supporting couple. There would be a little competition on who would love the other more, but I think you both know it’s the same.

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windupsanson · 2 years

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Long text about my characters that make little sense I’m just coping with anxiety.

I noticed that my wol doesn’t have a single parental bone in their body but they are aunt material with the older kids and even the younger adults, including Ryne, Ali, Alphi and my ocs. Wol is not so good with small children but they are kind to them of course, they aren’t good with unpredictable people, or moogles, or sylphs, or pixies. She does like some individuals but better keep low on the tricks.

Foulques sister is wol best friend and trust them completely with their kids.

Fleurette (Foulques sister) also considers Sanson her kid because she knew him as a little kid and got attached to him and sang to him and taught him about how to be a lancer and other things when he didn’t had much of a social life for being too serious and adult like for a kid. She trusted wol to date him along with Guydelot which says a lot considering how protective she is although she knows he can do what he wants. She does try to push the thought away that wol also dates her brother and friend Estinien.

She is definitely the maternal one along with her husband who just saw her coming after years of exile with strange children and said so we have kids now? He thought they were kids of some Ishgardian father but was already loving them anyway when he learned she found them. He didn’t care, he would probably be their father even if they hadn’t gotten married. He is just that paternal and has a big heart and really loves his family. He was also kicked out of his own family since they are a proud wildwood forestborn family and he loves a duskwight and fought when they insulted her race. He never mentioned the topic to anyone.

Foulques however had some problems with a bigger family and getting along with his sister after years apart because of shame and trust issues, she was a role model and always told him to do the right thing and that because of their race they had to act better and he thought she would judge him for his crimes, she didn’t, she knows he regrets and she was just happy he was safe, she just wants the distance between them gone and for him to feel home but he takes awhile to heal.

Ironically while Fleurette sees Sanson as one of the kids he also ends up being best friends and brother to her son Monoa, they were captives together for a time and helped each other escape, Sanson ends up being an older brother figure to him. At first Guydelot is a little awkward with the new friend since Monoa was aggressive towards him since right before Sanson was captured Guydelot fought him unfairly to his great regret, while Sanson forgave him and they were together Monoa was protective. Guydelot ends up proving he is a good person with nothing but good intentions towards Sanson and loves him so he is allowed to approach Sanson on Monoa terms who decided he was in charge of Sanson safety. Sanson tried to argue but was strangely happy about that protectiveness and how much Guydelot had to prove that yes he deserves Sanson please let me date my boyfriend.

Monoa does have a sister too who was jealous of the attention Sanson got as a new brother but finally got to know him and saw how he tried to get both siblings to spend time together and spied how lonely Sanson was forcing himself to be because he was having trouble coping with what happened to him and pushing people away and even putting himself in danger until she had enough of it and told Sanson to stop acting like a fool and avoid everyone who obviously wanted him close and while she has no tact and is terrible at dealing with emotions she got a reaction of him and accepted that other people could be close to her estranged brother and she could still get closer to him as well. They are also adopted siblings, her parents were supposed to take care of him for a time but sold him out and she went after him and never went back. She did get help by a Sharlayan Duskwight Elezen who just became family as well. He abandoned his duties out of loyalty to her because she was alone in the world getting in dangerous situations and he couldn’t accept it, he also tries to redeem himself for originally following his duty which made him use Monoa sister Noir for information and spy on Garleans for information on the Echo and Padjal gifts he possessed, he did not tell her the truth about himself out of duty and was going to get information and disappear until he saw doing so would cost her life, he was undecided for a few seconds but betrayed his duty and saved her and swore to help her for lying to her even if he was supposed to as a spy. She was completely betrayed but slowly especially after he almost died for her she forgave him. She later learns that he became exiled from Sharlayan for his acts and his family disapprove of him until up EW when politics change but even so he never goes back.

That’s just the start of the found family tale.

It’s a strange way to make a family but it worked.

#behold my ocs #behold my stuff #to be deleted later #to archive on sideblog and delete

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reimagining-twilight · 1 year

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🦢 Chapter Three - Phenomenon Part One Bella 🦢

(A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my freind who introduced me to Misery X CPR X Reeses Puffs)

The next day I wake up to yet another layer of snow coating the ground and when I walk out to the truck the driveway is deadly slick. I nearly break myself slipping on a patch of ice in my haste. I'm excited to get to school, and not just for the learning. That is stupid—very, very stupid.

I shouldn't be excited to see him. I should be avoiding him and his mood swings, his strange eyes, and his perfect, angelic face that leaves me tongue tied whenever I picture it. I focus as I drive down Main Street at a snail's pace in order to avoid the headline:

Local New Girl Carves Path of Destruction Down Main Street in Ancient Chevy; 8 Cars Totaled!

My truck, to my suprise, stays exactly where it should, never slipping even an inch. I probably owe this thing my life. When I pull into the car park, careful not to slip again, I notice why I haven't had trouble with the ice. Charlie had put brand new snow tires and ice chains on my truck. I'm not used to being taken care of and a wave of emotions threaten to knock me over.

I glance over the parking lot toward the shiny Maserati. Jasper, Alice and Edward are staring at me in horror and now everyone is shouting, but of more immediate importance is the blue van skidding rapidly through the car park. It hit the ice again and I hear a boy's voice curse "SHIT, SHIT, SHIIIT!" as the van begins to skid off in a different direction, right towards my truck. I'm standing between them. I can't run, I'd never get far enough, so I just brace myself, closing my eyes. At least it will be quick . . . I hope.

Then something hits me, cold and hard, but not from the direction I'm expecting. A strange tingling went through me where the object had touched my body. I'm lying behind the tan Honda I'd parked next to but I don't have time to observe my surroundings because the van curls around the truck bed and is about to collide with me again.

"Crap" an angelic voice mutters, making me swear that someone is with me. The voice is impossible not to recognize, a light accent tinting the words.

Two long, white hands shoot out protectively in front of me and the van shudders to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body.

Then the hands move so fast they blur. One is suddenly gripping under the body of the van and something is dragging me, swinging my legs around like a rag doll's, like I weigh nothing, til they hit the tire of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurts my ears and the van settles, glass popping, onto the asphalt—exactly where, a second ago, my legs had been.

it's absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming begins. In the abrupt bedlam, I can hear more than one person shouting my name. But more clearly than all the yelling, I can hear Jasper Hale's low, frantic voice in my ear.

"Izzy? Are you all right?"

"Jasper? I'm fine," says a voice that doesn't feel like my own. I'm too focused on the fact that he called me Izzy. I'd told everyone else to call me Bella but I like it. I try to sit up and realise he is holding me against the side of his body in an iron grasp. He is cold but everywhere we touch an electric warmth spreads through me. I stop fighting.

"Be careful," he warned, "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

I'm now alerted to a spreading ache centred above my left ear. "Ow," I say, surprised.

"Yeah, I think you might have a concussion," he says authoritatively.

"How in the..." I shake my head to clear it. "How did you get over here so fast?"

"I was standing right next to you, Izzy," he explains, his soft tone doing funny things to my brain. I can't think.

I try again to sit up and he lets me this time, moving as far away as possible in our confined space. I look at his face. It's concerned and innocent. His eyes pull me in. I'm sure I'm staring again, lost in the depth of his golden irises. I can't remember my own name—maybe I did hit my head.

This is all so confusing. It all happened so fast! I don't even know what really happened. Something hit my truck right?

Then there is chaos, everyone shouting my name, "Isabella! Bella? Bella!"It should bother me that no one seemed to be concerned about Jasper, but I'm lost in my blissful assuredness.

"Don't move," my friend Marta from the clarinet section instructs us.

"Get Eli out of the van!" Thresa shouts.

"Joey, go get the teachers!" Marta yells to her brother

Everyone is frantic and I try to get up, but Jasper's arm stifles me, "Sit tight for a moment, I don't want you to hurt yourself further." His voice is the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

"But it's cold," I say, my voice still sounding faraway. Faraway? I suddenly remember something else.

"You were over there. You were standing by your car." I blurt out.

His expression is briefly shocked then turned into a sympathetic smile. "No, I wasn't."

"I saw you," I say. I know I did, don't I?

"Izzy, I was walking over here to ask you about our History homework. I was standing with you when the van started skidding and I pulled you out of the way." He unleashed the full, devastating power of his eyes on me and I suddenly realise that he's right. Of course he is. Nobody can cross a car park that fast! Besides, he called me Izzy again. Do the details really matter?

I try to fight it, "No."

The gold in his eyes blazes. "Izzy, please,"he breathes, his musical voice overwhelming.

Suddenly I want to please him so bad it's physically painful.

"Of course," I say and the feeling calms into a blank sort of happiness.

It takes six EMTs and plus Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp to move the van far enough away from us to even bring the stretchers in. When an EMT named Bob tries to give Jasper a stretcher he refuses and Bob moves on but when I tried to do the same, they just load me on anyway. The happiness fades completely.

The real pain, however, comes when they put me in a neck brace while the entire school watches.

My father arrives on the scene before I'm all the way into the ambulance. At first he is horrified, but then he calms. I thought he would bombard me with questions but he just turns to the EMT and asks, "Is she okay?"

The almost bored looking EMT replied, "Yes."

As if by magic, Jasper is there, tall and leonine and a feeling of ease spreads through me despite where I am. "Chief Swan, would it be alright if I ride in the back with your daughter, just to make sure that she's alright."

Charlie nods easily and I'm surprised at his enthusiasm.

They pull my stretcher all the way into the ambulance and Jasper hops quickly into the back, sitting next to the other EMT. I suddenly feel high. Has the EMT given me painkillers? I can't remember.

Due to my status as the chief's daughter I'm so "kindly" escorted to the hospital by the Forks Police. While I'm being unloaded Jasper walks into the building completely under his own control.

They put me in the E.R, a long room with a line of beds separated by pastel-patterned curtains. A matronly looking nurse takes my temperature and blood pressure, both of which are normal. Being in the open where everyone can see me with that stupid neck brace is too much so when nurse grandma walks away I undo the Velcro and chuck it aside.

When I come down from the high, I think about what I've seen. When they'd lifted me away from the car, I had seen a deep dent in the tan car's bumper, a very distinct dent that fit the contours of Jasper's shoulders... as if he had braced himself against the car with enough force to damage the metal frame.

None of his family even seemed mildly concerned for his safety.

A few minutes later another stretcher is brought in. On it is Eli Chang, blood soaked gauze wraps all around his head. He looks horrible, but his first words are, "Bella, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm okay, Eli. Are you?" I ask as the nurse who is changing his wraps pulls them back and reveals a field of cuts across his forehead and left cheek.

He ignores me and continues quickly. "I thought I was going to kill you! I'm going too fast and I hit the ice wrong.!" He winces as one nurse starts cleansing his bloodied face.

"Well you didn't, so don't worry about it," I say just wanting him to forget about the whole thing, which is hard because of our current location.

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there and then you were gone!"

"Umm... Jasper pulled me out of the way."

He looks confused. "Who?"

"Jasper Hale. He was standing next to me." Not to my surprise I hadn't miraculously become an amazing liar, but he seemsto believe it.

"Hale? I didn't see him... wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?"

"I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher," I complain.

"Probably with his dad, Dr. Cullen. He's a surgeon here," Eli guesses.

They take an x-ray of my head and it turns out that indeed nothing is wrong. I ask if I can go home but the nurse says I must see a doctor first. So I'm stuck in the bed with only Eli's constant string of apologies for company. I refuse to believe I'm slowly going insane but I just can't explain what I've seen.

Finally, I decided to fake sleep in hopes of an escape. He doesn't stop though, even after he thinks I'm asleep.

"Is she sleeping?" a voice asks. It's soft and careful. I open my eyes. Jasper Hale is standing at the foot of my bed, a concerned look on his perfect face. I fight the urge to gawk and try my hand at a glare instead. I suspect I don't look nearly as menacing as I intend.

"Hey, Jasper, I'm really sorry . . ." Eli pleads.

Jasper put up a hand to stop his cries, "No blood, no foul," he says.

"Are you alright?" Jasper asks me, moving a chair next to my bed.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," I groan. "How come you aren't trapped here like the rest of us?"

"I'm not injured," he says simply.

"You. . .you're not injured?" You braced against a van with your bare hands! And you're not injured? That's what I want to say but I held my tongue.

Jasper just gives a small smile, that concerned look still on his god-like face

Then a doctor walks around the corner. He is young, 35 at most, and blond with pale skin and dark circles under his ochre eyes. This is obviously Jasper's father.

"So, Miss Swan," Dr. Cullen says in a quiet voice. It's just like Jasper's only with a different tint that I swear is a trace of a British accent, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I say once again, but it's impossible to be exasperated at Dr. Cullen.

He turns to examine my X-Rays on the light board. "Your X-rays look good," he says. "Does your head hurt? Jasper said you hit it pretty hard."

"It's fine," I assure him, turning to glare at Jasper. This, too, is nearly impossible. How can I be mad at him? He saved my life and now I can almost physically feel his genuine concern for my well being.

The doctor's cool fingers probe lightly along my skull. I wince when he gets to the area above my ear.

"Tender?" he asks.

"Not really." I'd had worse.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room. You can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all," Dr. Cullen instructed.

"Can't I go back to school?" I ask, shuddering briefly at the thought of Charlie trying to 'care' for me.

"Maybe you should take it easy today." he suggests.

I glance at Jasper, the innocent expression still on his face, but he looks slightly less concerned. "Does he get to go to school?"

"I do." He sounds just the tiniest bit smug. I resist the urge to stick my tongue out and glare at him. He stops chuckling, to amend his statement, "but I'll be staying with Esme for the rest of the day."

"And," Dr. Cullen adds, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no," I moan, covering my face with my hands.

Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to stay?"

"No, no!" I insisted, jumping eagerly off the bed.

"Okay, well, take some Tylenol for the pain," he instructed me.

"It doesn't hurt that bad," I insist again.

"It sounds like you are extremely lucky," Dr. Cullen says, smiling as he signs my chart: Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D with a flourish.

"Lucky Jasper was right next to me," I correct him, glancing at the golden blond boy sitting on one of the chairs in the corner now looking relieved.

"Oh, well, yes, I'm glad that you're both okay," Dr. Cullen agreed, busying himself with another chart. The chart is probably Eli's and he walks over to Eli's bed to examine his sliced face. My intuition flickers; the doctor is in on it.

When we aren't being watched I walk over to Jasper.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I whispered.

"What do you need?" he says, his voice gentle. I glanced at Dr. Cullen and Eli.

"I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind," I pressed.

A pained look crosses his face and then he turns and strides down the long rectangular room. I nearly jog to keep up. As soon as we turn the corner into a short hallway, he faces me again. His face is the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and I can't look away.

"What did you want to discuss?" he asks. His voice is smooth like honey and it takes me longer than I'd like to admit to focus on his actual words.

"I want to know the truth. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anybody. I just want to know why I'm lying for you. I don't like to lie, so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it. You owe me an explanation." I say this meekly. I feel inferior in his presence.

"Bella, I had an adrenaline rush. It's very common. In fact you can google it. What do you think happened?" he smiles.

"An adrenaline rush?" I ask confused, I know what that is surely I do, but at the moment I can barely remember how to spell my own name. Where am I? He asks me a question. What happened? There is a van, I think? Right the van!

"You weren't anywhere near me! Eli didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it! And you left a dent in the other car and you're not hurt at all, and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up! You stopped a full sized van with your bare hands . . . TWICE! And then lifted it up off of my legs . . . with one hand!" I know it sounded insane and I can feel the tears coming so I stop speaking. Let him deny that!

"I guess I'm a bit stronger than I thought, huh?" he joked and, after a pause, "Are you serious? You think I lifted a van off you? Bella, I was standing right next to you. You hit your head. I think you might be confused." He stares at me incredulously and the way he says it like I'm a child being silly, like he questions my sanity made me furious, but only for a second. Then I'm happier than I've ever been. I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. No, I feel like I'm floating . I want to dance and sing but I hold my tongue and nod once, my jaw tight.

He looks suddenly annoyed and I wonder how he can be when everything is so perfect. "You're crazy! Can't you just thank me and get over it?" he snaps

"Thank you," I whispered, now annoyed as well

We look at each other in silence. I'm smiling again and he looks almost angry. I try my best to keep myself focused. I can't keep my eyes off his face. It's like being hypnotised.

He is still angry. "Why are you angry? Do you wish you hadn't saved me?" I'm so grateful. I wish there is a way that I can really demonstrate my feelings. The idea that he regrets saving me is so disturbing that I feel like I'm going to cry.

He looks shocked and for a brief moment his stunning face is unexpectedly vulnerable.

"Of course not!" he says. I can tell he means it. He cups my face in his hands. The hands themselves are ice cold but my face feels fever hot. He drops his voice to a whisper. "I could never regret saving you. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I let you die." Sincerity rings out in every word.

He takes my hand and we walk slowly to the exit at the end of the hallway. The high has faded and is replaced by just a blatant happiness. It's weird but I can't say I don't like it.

The waiting room is even more crowded than I'd expected, like everyone I know is there. Niki, Tristan and the snotty girl Theresa are there with their jaws practically on the floor. I can tell they have questions, but with Jasper by my side the crowd parted for us and I found Charlie easily. He is standing next to Mrs. Cullen. Jasper's siblings are standing by the door.

With my left hand still in Jasper's I put up my right hand to cease Charlie's fretting, "Ch. . . Dad, I'm fine. I don't even have a concussion."

"That's good, but Eli can kiss his licence goodbye!" he says. Like me, he isn't the best at conveying emotions. Except anger, apparently.

"Dad!" I say quickly, looking around to see who heard the embarrassing outburst. Everyone, apparently. A few snickers and "ooh"s echo through the room.

Jasper laughs. "It's alright, sir. I think we can all agree that it's an unfortunate accident not to be repeated."

Charlie mumbles something unintelligible.

"Oh, sweetheart, are you alright?" Mrs. Cullen says, still sounding a little worried. I think she is addressing her son so I don't answer at first but after a few beats of silence I say, "I'm okay, thanks to Jasper. He saved my life."

She smiles. "Well I'm glad. It seems that you are both very lucky." She turns to ask Charlie something. Emmet and Alice, who is flanked by Edward, come up to us. Rosalie glares daggers at me from the corner.

"Hi, Bella! I'm sooo glad that you're okay," Alice says, hugging me quickly.

"Yeah, you gave us a scare there Izzy," Emmet chortled, clapping me on the shoulder.

"It's lovely to meet you, Bella," Edward says, shaking my hand. It's strange all their hands are cold but none of them send the same warmth through me as Jasper's does. His hand is still firmly in mine and I squeeze harder as Niki and her posse walk hesitantly up to us. He doesn't let go.

Charlie finishes his conversation with Esme and says we can go. I don't want to be hounded by Niki & Co. any more but I don't want to let go of Jasper's hand either.

Finally I do let go. Jasper smiles, "See you around Izzy!" I smile back trying not to look like an idiot. I'm sure I failed.

On the drive home we barely talk but as we pull onto our street Charlie looks guilty, "You should probably call your mother."

"You called Mom!" I'm horrified.

When the cruiser gets into our driveway I jump out. I had wanted to go straight to my room but Mom has to be dealt with, so I head to the kitchen. I pick up the phone and dial her number. 3 minutes and 3000 'I'm fine's' later, she starts to calm down. She begs me to come home despite the fact that "home" is empty right now. It's unbelievably easy to ignore her pleading. I'm actually enjoying the people of Forks or more accurately one person of Forks. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid I tell myself.

When I'm finally in my room, I think about everything that happened. It all seems much clearer now. Jasper had not been standing next me or anywhere near me. He had been standing next to his car with his family . . . all the way across the lot. He'd somehow gotten across a 600 foot car park in a matter of milliseconds, then he'd stopped a large van with just his hands! A van that had to weigh at least 4,374 pounds without anything in it (I googled it). Not only that but his hands left a dent in the metal frame. His hands had moved so fast that they actually blurred and he then lifted the van off my legs with only one hand. The very same van that took six EMTs and two teachers just to move it a few feet. While he was doing this, he lifted me as if I were weightless. I'm not crazy. I know what I saw, and Eli hadn't seen him either. I can't think of an explanation besides the fact that I'm going insane.

I don't really listen to a lot of music but I desperately needed a distraction so I put in a C.D Marta had let me borrow. The only song is a loop and it's crazy. It takes me a second to realise that it's a mix of three songs I don't know. One is about this guy saying he is in misery, the other is about Reese's puffs, and I can't really hear it but I'm pretty sure the last one mentioned making and watching porn on a VCR! Gross! After hours of lying on my bed in denial, I have (embarrassingly) learned the entire song, unfortunately not excluding the gross song I learned is called CPR.

When my brain is successfully fried I examine the facts again, excluding all logic, and I come to the one possible conclusion. Jasper is not wholly human. He can't be. I will think about the practicalities of this tomorrow but for now I'm going to sleep, the song still playing.

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0613magazine · 2 years

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221010 Proof Collector's Edition

Between the past, present, and future, which one do you think of as most important?

I think of the present as the most important. More than the past or the future, the present will be able to tell me how I am and my current place the best. I can’t hold on to the past or the future but the present is the time that I am going through right now. I feel that if you pay attention to the past and the future, you would end up missing the things that are important right now. So, I think the present is the most important. Also, I think the present can change a lot based on how I view the world and the worries that allow me to go forward and the stress is all here in the present. So I want to say present.

The word “past” what does it mean to you?

Memories and the start. Since all the experiences I have right now all started in the past. Concerts, award shows, songs I have sung, everything….

When you think of “past”, what kind of emotion do you feel?

It’s a feeling that you have met someone after a long time. This soft feeling. It feels like meeting your elementary school friend after many years.

What is your first-ever memory?

When I was young, I lived with my grandmother and grandfather. I think my first memory is having a stroll with my grandmother and grandfather in the park and having fun. Thinking about my childhood makes me miss my friends who I hung out with during kindergarten.

What is your first meaningful place/space?

My own personal room I’ve gotten for the first time. It was when I was living in the dorm at Hannam-dong. I think it was meaningful because it was the first time I got a personal room at the dorm.

In your mind, how old do you put yourself as?

30 years old. As I entered the adult world earlier than others, I didn’t have time to enjoy the various feelings and emotions that only you can have when you are a student. Also learned about the real world around the first year of high school. So I feel that I’ve grown faster in some parts. It is somewhat saddening. Thinking about those, I feel that my age inside is staying at an older age than my real age.

While living as BTS, do you think there was a change that made Kim Taehyung, as an individual, more clear or faded?

Life as Kim Taehyung I believe has faded. But life as V has gotten a lot more clear instead. There were more times I spent as V so there were more things I thought about and focused on as V. I think there was not enough time to focus on living as Kim Taehyung. So I am trying to find something about myself as Kim Taehyung even if it’s reckless. Also even if my color is not vivid. I believe that unclear color is also pretty so I don’t tend to purposely try revealing myself. I want to become vivid naturally.

If there was an effort you have put in for Kim Taehyung and V to ‘coexist’, what would it be?

For the two to coexist, I tried to make them into two different people. I left Kim Taehyung as it is as there are personalities of mine that I can’t avoid. As for V, I tried to show my different side or another self. To express that I put an iron plate on my face (laugh) I gave distinction and tried to show two different side

How similar is your usual self in real life compared to the BTS member (you are) shown to the world?

When standing as BTS on stage it’s a little bit different, but at least I think the image shown in the variety show is identical. 100%. Shooting a variety program called <Run BTS> I think I showed myself exactly how I am a lot. I think even right now I continue to show my real self with no embellishment.

What is “myself as it is” like?

Honest. I don’t like talking things around. If there is something I want to do, or talk about, I tend to do it right away.

Is the current ‘Me’ and the past ‘Me’ different?

There are parts that have changed. The past ‘me’ was just bright and liked other people. Now I have more concerns and my thoughts have deepened. Liking people is still the same. But if there’s any change, I now like ‘my people’. It also takes a long time to recognize that a person is “my people’ when I meet them.

Looking back, what was the darkest moment for you?

I think during ‘FAKE LOVE’, it was the darkest moment. I don’t think I was able to overcome the song myself. The reason I was able to withstand that, despite it, was thanks to ‘time’. The time became light. There was a moment when the direction of my thinking process changed gradually over time. It didn’t change at once like flipping a coin, but gradually, very slowly.

If you were to write a letter to yourself in the past, what would you want to write?

I’m going to write, ‘You already have the answer’. I want to tell him “The answer that you were thinking is already out anyways so don’t be confused and struggle with the process”. When I was on the path to choose and I had no confidence in myself and was confused, I constantly remembered the thought and thought about it a lot. But when I think about it, the path I chose and the answers were already inside me. There was no need for me to be confused about it but I was so confused which is the most regrettable part of me in the past. With that being said I want to write a letter like that.

Who would be the person that would be able to talk about you well the most?

My people. The people around me to who I am the closest.

If there is something in life that is an indispensable existence, what would it be?

The temperature of heart/mind. I think it would be scary if the temperature of the heart disappears. I feel that if I can’t feel the temperature and can’t tell the difference between warm and cold, I won’t be able to recognize my own people and I won’t be able to distinguish between good and bad.

Is there something you have been constantly telling yourself recently?

I say “Ah, I’m bored” the most.

How fast in km do you think you are going right now?

On the car dashboard, you will read 100km but feel like going 2000km? The reason why 100km is on the dashboard is because I am still busy. The reason why the speed feels like 2000km is because I am still a laid-back person. I am far from the type of person who is busy. So, everything feels faster than what it really is. But now that I think about it, 2000km sounds too fast so should I say 500km? (Laugh)

Is this speed something you set or a speed you are following?

I think it’s the speed that I am following. Life as BTS in general goes around fast. There are a lot of stages/performances and lots of other things we have to do. So gratefully we are receiving so much love and to return that thanks we are going at a really fast speed. As BTS has to work hard at the current progress, even if the pace is a little different from my personality, I try to match it to that. I think members would be the same.

If there is something you are focusing on these days, what would you say it is?

I have a lot of interest in jazz. The atmosphere itself is also very nice. For me, when I listen to jazz-style music, I feel like I am being loved by music. I feel that feeling a lot. It’s also a part that comforts me. There are many songs in jazz that make me feel that way.

Do you have a song you would like to recommend?

I want to recommend an artist named Etta James. I feel like it’s telling me “you’ve worked hard” through music. So, when I am alone at home, inside the car alone after work I listen to these Jazz music and get comforted. When that happens I think that music is really amazing. I am really happy that there is music that comforts me and music that loves me.

Which color do you think best describes you?

Red. I like the intense/fierce feeling. Even in red there are many different colors within it. Those colors all have different vibes but just one thing, the ‘fierce/intense’ feeling is always included no matter what. I want to have that variety of fierceness. I put a lot of effort into showing various sides of me.

If you were to put yourself as a scent, which scent would it be?

It’s hard to pick one since I have a lot of scents that I like. I think there is no answer to it because the smell I like keeps changing. But I would like to be a person who smells like the scent that the other person likes.

What is something that has changed and hasn’t changed as time passed?

I struggled when I was young because I couldn’t handle the work that I was doing, but now I try to enjoy it while doing it. There are times when it does go well as I thought, but I make myself determined to enjoy things even if the things I am doing are a bit difficult.

Do you have a belief that you uphold firmly?

I got to be healthy for the people who love me, which is a belief I hold. In the past, I didn’t think taking care of my health was important so I can’t say that I upheld it firmly but these days I think about my health as a priority no matter what. I realized that if I get hurt or something in concerts, in the end, I can’t show what I wanted to show. So, I put health as my number one priority and try not to get hurt.

During the day, what time do you think it’s your time for yourself?

2-3 AM. I feel it’s completely time for myself. It is also the time when I am not working. The time I am able to wrap the day is about 2 AM. I can also say it’s time for Kim Taehyung.

Is there a thought you always think about before going to sleep everyday?

Before, every time I went to sleep I said to myself ‘today let’s try to get more than 7 hours of sleep’. When I had insomnia, I mainly thought, ‘I need to sleep’. I also think it’s because it was when I had a lot of morning schedules. Because of this thought, ‘I have to sleep now so I can wake up early’, I couldn’t fall asleep even more, and that bit its tail after another and continued. Now I don’t have many thoughts. Now that my insomnia is gone, I like the little things that I do in the early morning hours. I think about, let me apply some lip balm, let me go to sleep after having one more sip of water, let me read some webtoons, let me turn on some YouTube of wood burning. These days, since I don’t have a lot of morning schedules I do little things that I need to and move as the flow goes and naturally go to sleep without being worried about time.

Out of the dreams you had recently, are there any that are memorable?

In my dream, I went to the beach with 8-9 people who I am close with. We walked on the shore together, played volleyball, and played dodgeball. Then, I am being serious, but all those people got eaten. Typically when you are in the ocean, you would get eaten by creatures like sharks. Unbelievably they got eaten by clams, some got taken away, some disappeared, and stuff. I also suddenly got eaten and became a ghost. It’s a dream that I had recently which made me think ‘What was that, what kind of dream is this?’.

How did you feel in the dream?

It was really funny. I was able to somewhat feel that it was a dream because there was no way I could think that it was real. So even in the dream, I was like “what is this?” and had fun. When I laugh in my dream, I have some kind of feeling that I don’t want to wake up from it. To be honest, dreaming is something I usually forget what it was about just after 5 minutes pass, but it’s fun and I like it when dreams are fun.

If you were to look at life as one road, how far do you think you came now?

I believe that I haven’t even come halfway. If you were to say that life is about 100 years, I am 28 years old so I am a little past a quarter of my life. Since I haven’t come very far there are a lot of things I want to do in the future, and a lot of things I want to prove. I don’t want to predict what is at the end of this road and just go for it also not even one chapter of my life ended. I think if I wrap up about one chapter, I will know what I want to do, and the perspective of how I look at life will be more clear.

What are three keywords that would be able to define you?

Love, Health, and Happiness. I can’t think of any other words than those because for me love is important, happiness from love is important, and to repay those I love or those who love me I need to be healthy. I believe those three are something I must have.

Do you believe there is a predestined fate?

I have always believed that destiny was real. There will be multiple paths to choose from but there is only one direction that I want to go to. I believe that the group, BTS will be part of my life whatever happens, even when I hit my 50s or become a grandpa. In that sense, I believe that fate is real.

Are there any characters from a movie or a drama that you would like to resemble?

Thomas Shelby from <Peaky Blinders>… please watch it. The mood is no joke. There is something that I cannot express… something that I can’t describe. I will make sure to show you one day and I plan to do so! I will show you when time passes a little more.

If you were able to go to another dimension, do you have any place you would like to go to?

I want to stay here. The people who are precious to me are here. So my priority is making good memories with these people.

If you were to make a documentary about yourself, which song do you want to put on the ending credit?

I am making my “All-time song”. It will be finished one day. The title, I feel that I might change it after saying but under the premise that it’s a temporary title, it’s ‘Color’.

Personally, what is the most meaningful album out of the whole BTS discography?

<LOVE YOURSELF 轉 ‘Tear’>. During the time I was working on this album, I was struggling the most and it was also difficult. I feel like it’s an album that I couldn’t overcome in many ways. So it’s also an album that always remains homework for me.

Now how does the album feel?

When I hear this album, I still remember the struggles I had at that time. I think the emotion and the feeling are still exactly remaining. I also think that I wasn’t able to pull off the song “FAKE LOVE’ itself properly.

When was the “Moment of Proof”?

When the song I wrote got chosen and released for the first time. Staying with people who work on music, I naturally started working on music as well and with luck, that got chosen. So my first work was able to be released into the world. You don’t know how excited I was. Thinking about it now, I think that was my “moment of proof”.

Not to the world but is there something you want to prove to yourself?

I want to grow. I want to be a person who can constantly grow. I want to show myself that I am constantly growing and want to see the end of the growth.

Singularity

What does this song mean to you?

Actually, it’s a song that I met at a time when I was in deep thoughts and confusion between Kim Taehyung and an artist named V. Now that I have overcome that period, the song has a special meaning as it feels like it’s a song from that time which became a footstep of when I was able to accept myself as Kim Taehyung, and as an artist named V.

Like in the ‘Singularity’ comeback trailer, if the face inside the pond talked to you, what would you be saying?

I am not good at games like ‘Whisper challenge’. So, no matter what I say, I don’t think I would be able to understand it. (Laugh)

Is there a ‘different face’ that you want to show?

I believe that I continue to show a different side based on the song and the stage. So through the song, I made another conscious for the stage as close as possible to the given role in the song. I really love and like (seeing) the changes based on songs in vibe, walking style, power from the eye. I think those are my other different faces. Every time a new song comes, I show a new ‘Me’. I hope you can watch those moments very well.

00:00

What does this song mean to you?

It’s a song I listen to a lot. The melody is nice and the lyrics are really good. I especially like 00:00’s time.

When you are having a difficult day, how do you comfort yourself?

I try to empty my head and not think about anything. To clear my head, I would play games, watch movies, drink a glass of alcohol, or have a chit chat. I try to do something where I can focus on one thing.

What is something that comforts you the most?

Just that I exist together with my people gives me comfort and solace.

Is there something you have newly discovered about yourself?

I think I go well with whiskey. These days I mix whiskey and tonic water and drink it. It’s delicious. It’s nice that I don’t get headaches or hangovers. Before I only drank wine. Whiskey is, to be honest, it’s been exactly 10 days since I started drinking whiskey, (laugh) and it’s good as a wrap for the day. The day I drank whiskey for the first time, it was about 7 am and it snowed. It was sleeting so I opened the curtain for a brief moment and it was really nice that it snowed. Also, I think I like seeing the moon outside of my window. When I drink, I turn off the light for a moment and look at the mood that has risen over the Han River if I think that I’m going to get a little tipsy. It’s really pretty. So there is a song titled “소등” (Lights out) and I don’t know where the file went. It’s such a shame.

What kind of emotional state are you in during 00:00?

It depends on each day. There are times when I am excited, some days when I am bored…usually during those hours I play online games with my acquaintances. It’s like a wrap of the day. When work is over, come home, and get on the game, the older brothers all are playing games. Then I say “I’m here” and we all play games. We meet online, sometimes meet up in person, and hang out. The feeling at that moment is “it’s fun”.

How about just imagining that time stopped for just one day? What would you do if you were in a situation where you were the only one conscious and able to move?

I think I would try to wake people up. “Hey! Wake up! What are you doing here!” like this.

What does the album <Proof> mean to BTS?

<Proof> is an album that organizes one tempo, if you were to look at it in a bigger view, one season for me. I think the best description would be, an album that wraps up one stage in the big life of BTS. It’s that important but I also think it’s actually hard to put such a big meaning to it also. But if we were to put a meaning to it, you can think of it as timing to all catch their breath for a short moment. (Laugh)

English translation by: bomharu1230 Photo credit: mahoneysuga

#2022 #bts #v #proof collector's edition

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gay-dorito-dust · 2 years

Note

Heyyyy I heard ur requests are open

Can I get a castlevania dracula x reader fic

Just super fluffy and cute please I need this in my life

Thank you!❤❤❤

His softness, often veiled behind frost bitten obsidian eyes, finally bled through the cracks with a overbearing warmth Vlad was unfamiliar with; He couldn’t remember a clear enough fragmentation of a memory where he reacted in such a way towards a human that wasn’t a direct correlation with anger, irritation and disgust which ich and scratched the skin of the vampiric lord. He didn’t like it originally whenever you did something remotely irrational and instead of reacting how he came to expect himself to; he reacted in a way that was unknown to him, feeling emotions he never thought he’d ever feel again. There wasn’t tension within his shoulders, no anger burning within his veins, no furrowed brows nor deep rooted disappointment within his chest.

In fact Vlad found himself rushing to your aid and assessing your face for any signs of injury, thumbs brushing against your cheeks being mindful of the sharp talons that tickled your skin with their faint touches; So when he saw that you were mainly unscathed he quickly removed his hands from your face -being mindful of his talons as to avoid nicking you- before going back to what he was doing beforehand as a sense of relief eased his worries away. You knew it would take a lot more then a potential injury to see the real Vlad but that was alright, time was pretty much all you had whisky staying at his imposing mansion, spending most of your time within the vast private library Vlad owned which is where soft moment number two occurred.

You were in the mood to do some reading and so you snagged a couple of books from some shelves before making yourself comfortable upon a plush armchair alongside a chair side table to put your other books for the time being whilst throughly enjoying the warmth emitted by the fireplace across from you. The warmth from the fire must’ve been too comforting as before you could finish the first chapter of your book when the next thing you knew your eyes grew heavy and sleep soon followed ironically at the same time Vlad entered the library to do some reading himself but once he found your sleeping form within his armchair he only sighed; removing the cloak from his shoulders of which he then draped over you before taking his seat within another armchair to read whilst watching over you simultaneously. Unaware of your small knowing smile buried beneath his cloak that smelt just as elegant and all knowing as Vlad himself.

Weeks later and the cracks within the walls Vlad built within him were torn down and you found yourself being within his eyes view no matter what you did as he stood not that far behind with a small smile himself and a soft look within his obsidian eyes, occasionally laughing when your bitching about some unsavoury characters down by the market place devolved into bad impersonations that made Vlad bark a genuine laugh that made you stop and stare in awe. Warmth speeding through your chest as you admire the crows feet near his eyes from laughter and his fangs that poked out cutely from his lips. Your sudden silence brought Vlad’s laughter to a soft chuckle as he wiped a tear that managed to escape from his eye.

“What?” He questions. You only smiled, reaching your hands to hold his face, running your thumbs across his cheeks as he stared in stunned surprise, waiting for your next move. “Nothing, your just beautiful when you laugh.” Vlad’s eyes soften at your confession and brought his head so it was pressed against your own, smiling contently, “not as beautiful as your soul that you’ve blessed me, sharing it with such an open mind and there is nothing more beautiful then that. So I thank you y/n for your unwavering patience and genuine kindness. For had it not slowed me to see a new light I would still be as you’d say ‘brooding’ on my lonesome.”

#castlevania imagine #castlevania imagines #castlevania x reader #castlevania fic #castlevania fanfiction #vlad tepes x reader #vlad tepes imagines #vlad tepes imagine #dracula tepes x reader #Dracula tepes imagines #dracula tepes imagine

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thepremedthatwrites · 3 years

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Things Have Changed

request: Can you plsss do a Peter x reader relationship where the reader is a family friend and Peter has always had a crush on her and idk ends up admitting it to her at night or something and things get very heated like smutty or whatever.

Did I decide to edit this a day early because I'm procrastinating my school work? Perhaps. But anyways, I hope you all like this fic!

warning: smut below the cut

I could feel the beginning of sweat start to drip down the side of my face as I squinted my eyes trying to see the others in the water. The sand was at the border of being too hot to stand on in bare feet, causing me to walk closer to the water where the cold ocean had cooled the ground. “C’mon (y/n)!” Lucy shouted over the sound of the waves crashing into the shore. “The water isn’t even that cold!”

This was a lie and we both knew it. The icy water brushed the tip of my toes as I held back a shudder. At least the water would help me cool off from the unforgiving sun. As I stood contemplating what to do, I felt a hand graze my back. I turned to see Peter walking by me, a grin on his face. “Too scared to run in, (y/n)?” he asked. That was enough to kick me into action as I started to follow him into the water.

“Of course not,” I replied, holding back the instinct to let out a gasp as the cold water wrapped itself around my stomach. Both of our parents stayed by the towels and umbrellas, leaving the ocean to their children as they drank and talked about whatever it is that adults talked about. The blue house that our families had rented stood tall and proud behind our parents, overlooking the beach and whatever sat beyond what reaches of the ocean we could see.

Peter and I came to a halt as we reached where Lucy and Edmund were. “Where’s Susan?” Ed asked as Peter dunked his head under the water.

“I believe she said she was taking a nap,” I replied as Peter’s head reappeared from the dark water. His blond hair was now pressed against his forehead and had become a few shades darker from the weight of the water.

“Watch out! Big wave!” Lucy just managed to shout out the words before my vision was painted white as the wave crashed down on us. I lost control of my body as I let the current drag me around like a rag doll until I felt myself crash into something solid. At first, I thought it was a rock before I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my chest.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” I heard Peter say as my head broke the surface. I gulped in a deep breath of air, the oxygen reaching my lungs as I wiped the salt water out of my burning eyes.

“Thanks,” I managed as the taste of salt water danced down my throat.

“I think some of the water went up my nose.” I heard Edmund say while Lucy was pushing her hair that had been plastered in front of her eyes out of her face. I turned my head to look at Peter whose arms were still around me. The sudden realization of the situation finally dawned on me and I felt my face warm at the close proximity. Suddenly his arms felt like iron chains around me and I couldn’t ignore the feeling of their weight on me. Peter seemed to have also become aware of the sensation of our bodies pressed against each other as he slowly removed his arms from me.

“Sorry,” he said softly, his face now also a light shade of pink.

“Yeah, no worries,” I said quickly. I was suddenly thankful for the large wave coming our way as I turned to face it, focusing my thoughts on not being drowned by the rushing water.

“I almost drowned!” Lucy exclaimed as we all sat around the dinner table. It had been my mom’s turn to cook dinner and so she had made us all steak. I started to cut into the meat as Lucy told Susan all about our adventures in the water. Peter and I had become a bit more quiet since the incident in the ocean. I felt myself stealing glances at him every now and then. Sometimes he had already been looking at me too.

“I’m so happy you guys decided to join us here in the states.” I heard my mom say to the Pevensies’ parents. “I feel like we haven’t seen each other since we moved to America.”

“I know, it seems the kids are having a lot of fun hanging out again,” Mrs. Pevensie replied. I turned back to the conversation but could feel the burning glances Peter occasionally threw at me throughout dinner. I was thankful when dinner was over, trying to wash the dishes as quickly as possible and avoiding being near Peter as much as the confines of the kitchen allowed. The parents had disappeared, most likely to the balcony that overlooked the water to drink some more and catch up on what they had missed in the past five years. As soon as the dishes were done, I excused myself blaming my exhaustion on the sun and went to my room.

I was surprised when I woke up to a dark room. I had expected myself to be unable to sleep and instead toss and turn until the rest of the lights went out in the house. I got up from my bed, checking my phone to see it was around three in the morning. My stomach growled as I turned on my lights. It seems that pushing the food around your plate does little to actually satisfy your hunger. I paused at my mirror before leaving. I brushed out my hair and checked to see that the pajamas I wore were acceptable to be seen by the public. I wasn’t sure if I would run into Peter, he was most likely still asleep, but I wanted to play it safe. I wasn’t sure why I was so concerned about my appearance around him. When we were younger, before my family moved to America, I could have cared less about what he thought of my appearance. But then again, we had been younger then. Five years younger to be exact. We had grown since then. His shoulders had broadened and he had become taller. My body had developed curves where it used to be straight and I had finally grown into myself. We weren’t how we were back in the UK. We were older and more mature.

I shook the thoughts from my mind and opened the door to my room. I walked as quietly as I could past my parents’ room and then past all of the Pevensies’ rooms before reaching the stairs that led to the living area that held the kitchen. I opened the fridge as my stomach automatically growled at the sight of all the food. The best part of being on vacation was the fact that the fridge was always filled with leftovers from dinner. I settled on some of the mac and cheese, spooning some into a bowl before putting it into the microwave. I stood patiently as the whir of the microwave filled the silence that had settled into the room.

“What are you doing up?” I jumped at the voice before turning to see Peter standing by the entrance of the kitchen.

“I was hungry,” I said while pointing my head to the microwave. He walked over to me and I was suddenly thankful I had spent the extra time on my appearance before leaving my room. He wore only a pair of grey sweatpants. I couldn’t help myself and let my eyes wander his exposed abs. He definitely did not have those five years ago.

“I missed seeing you,” he said, causing my eyes to jump from his abs to his ocean blue eyes which I could easily drown in if I weren’t careful.

“Me too,” I replied, my voice much softer than I expected it to be. I cleared my throat before speaking again. “I missed having someone I could annoy like an older brother.” Peter’s face scrunched as he shook his head.

“Please don’t call me an older brother. That’s weird.” I raised an eyebrow at this, my heart racing. All this time I had thought he saw me as another little sister. But if that wasn’t the case, what did he see me as?

“And why is that?” I questioned. Peter’s face seemed to have reddened. I wasn’t sure if it had already been red from the sun and I just hadn’t noticed or if he was blushing. Before he could answer the microwave went off causing me to jump. Peter opened the door, taking the bowl out as steam rose from the food.

He set the bowl down on the counter before turning back to me. His eyes seemed to be studying me. I subconsciously bit my bottom lip in anticipation. I watched as his eyes followed the movement. “You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you,” he finally said.

“And so have you.”

“The thoughts I have about you…” Peter started as he walked closer to me, stopping so that we were almost pressed against each other. “They are not thoughts a brother has about his sister.” He leaned down towards my ear, his hot breath brushing the bare skin behind my ear and sending a shiver down my spine. “That is why it’s weird for you to call me an older brother.” My face must have been the color of a lobster at this point, and I was no longer afflicted with hunger. Instead, lust coursed through my veins. He paused for a moment as if in thought before pressing his lips on the same skin his breath had just caressed. I let out a soft sigh allowing my hand to grasp onto his strong bicep. My other hand had crept around to his stomach, tracing the abs I had just moments before been admiring. He moved his lips, kissing down my neck as I moved my head back to give him more access.

His hands wrapped around my waist before he lifted me into the air. I let out a gasp in surprise before my ass met the cool counter. His eyes looked me up and down, filled with lust and desire. “Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?” he asked. His hands were by my hips as his thumb traced shapes on my thighs. I found myself blushing at his words. Many people had called me beautiful before but the way he spoke it was the same way people sing praises to the gods they worship. He stepped towards me and I opened my legs for him so that he was as close as physically possible.

He stopped for a moment, his eyes meeting mine. They seemed to be saying all the things that had been left unsaid since we had reunited. You’re different. I’m different. These emotions are different. I love you. I wrapped my legs around him, forcing him closer (something I had not thought possible). His hands moved so that they were on either side of me, resting on the counter. My own hands were on his shoulders. I moved one so that it caressed his face. My mac and cheese sat patiently on the counter next to us, expecting to be eaten soon. I had a feeling the bowl would be staying there until the morning. Peter brought his face closer to mine. He paused for a moment, his eyes moving from my lips to my eyes. I gave a slight nod. Then, he kissed me.

We kissed and suddenly I understood what the authors of the romance books I used to read were writing about. He was like a drug. With each touch I needed more. With each kiss I craved just one more moment of the taste of his lips. My hands traveled to his hair as we continued to kiss. His hands wandered my back, traveling beneath the fabric of my t-shirt. I didn’t want to pull away. I wanted to stay like this for eternity. On the other hand, I wanted more. I wanted to connect us even more. I wanted him to fuck me.

I pulled back just long enough for my shirt to be discarded. Then I immediately reconnected our lips. I kissed him hungrily, as if those few seconds apart had left me famished. His hands slipped between us, holding my breasts. A small shudder went down my spine as his thumbs brushed my nipples. His hands continuously moved, as if they weren’t sure what to do with all the newly exposed skin. He squeezed my breasts before letting his hands travel down my stomach, gripping my waist harshly as we continued to kiss.

I could feel a growing wetness between my legs. The feeling of something hard being pushed against my inner thigh informed me Peter was just as turned on. He disconnected our lips, tasting my chin and then neck and then collar bone until he reached my tits. I attempted to catch my breath as his tongue flicked across my nipple. I let out a soft gasp as my back arched in pleasure. He started to suck on my tits, making sure to show great care and attention to both of them. His grip on my waist tightened and I was sure there would be a slight bruise in the morning. I couldn’t bring myself to care at the moment as that slight pain was the only thing keeping me grounded as pure pleasure pulsed throughout my body as Peter continued to kiss and suck and bite on the sensitive areas.

He stopped abruptly, standing upright and looking me directly in the eye. His erection that had been increasing in size and hardness was now protruding from his pants and pressing into the soft skin of my thigh. “When I was younger, I had always felt an attraction to you, (y/n),” he said. His voice was lower than usual and he seemed to be slightly out of breath as he spoke. “I never knew whether it was a friendly attraction or something stronger than that. But the moment I saw you for the first time in five years, I knew the feelings I felt for you...it wasn’t something most people feel. It was something so strong it took everything in me to not fall to my knees in defeat. In a happy defeat where I surrendered my heart to you.” I felt as if my heart was going to burst from my chest as I listened. “My body burns with desire for you (y/n). Please. Let me show you how you make me feel. Let me love you.”

I licked my lips, suddenly aware of how dry my mouth felt. I took a deep breath, hoping some of the fresh night air would clear my lust-clouded mind for a moment. “Yes,” I said. “Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes a million times.” I could feel a large grin growing on my face and Peter was wearing a matching one. He grabbed my face in his hands before bringing us together for a kiss. It didn’t take long for the kiss to deepen as his hands left my face and traveled down my bare top before playing with the band of my shorts. I inched towards the edge of the counter before sliding off, our lips parting for a moment as my feet hit the ground before immediately reuniting.

He roughly pulled down my shorts and panties in one motion, letting the clothes hit the ground. I followed suit, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers. We parted for a moment, the moonlight shining through the window that sat over the sink allowing enough light so that I could see the true length of him. I had only a few moments to admire him, the thickness of his cock was sure to stretch me out deliciously, before he turned me around. I bent over the counter, the cool stone pressing against my naked skin. His hands gripped my hips to hold me in place before he pushed into me.

I let out a loud moan, causing him to put a hand over my mouth. He stayed in place, leaning over so that his mouth was next to my ear. “We have to be quiet. Unless you want both our families to see what we’re doing.” I nodded in understandance as he stood up straight again. He started by moving slowly. He pulled out halfway before pushing in all the way to the base. I felt my pussy flutter around him. He continued this slow rhythm for a while, testing out the water while stretching me out to fit him completely.

Once I felt myself start to adjust he started to go faster. I could feel the edge of the counter dig into my stomach each time my body was thrusted forward. My breasts moved in rhythm with Peter, my weight being supported by my forearms which were propped on top of the counter. His fingers dug into my hips as he fucked me. The kitchen was filled with the sound of skin slapping skin and our muffled moans as we did our best to stay quiet. The smell of sweat and sex hovered in the room. The moon acted as a spotlight for our indecent act. My vision was obstructed by my hair which was now a mess, strands of it sitting in front of my face.

“Peter, please,” I moaned quietly. I could feel myself getting closer, my legs now weaker than before as my arms were the only thing holding me up. Peter sensed this, using his hands that were on my hips to lift me up. I felt my mouth open, but no noise came out as my mind became overtaken with pleasure. I could hear Peter let out a groan as I felt myself collapse around him. I let my head fall forward as I attempted to recover from my orgasm. The pleasure started to become more bearable as Peter continued to fuck me. His thrusts were becoming more desperate. Just as I started to think he couldn’t be any rougher, he pulled out.

“Get on your knees,” he commanded. The way he spoke brought butterflies to my stomach. He spoke much more forcefully than before, his voice laced with lust as he was too concerned with his own release to speak gently to me. I obeyed, opening my mouth for him unprompted. I started moving my head for him, wanting to make him feel just as good as he made me feel. His head fell back as his hip thrusted forward. I fought back the reflex to gag as his cock buried itself deep within my throat. His hand pushed on the back of my head, keeping me in place as I felt the beginning spurt of a warm and bitter liquid shooting down my throat. I swallowed all of it greedily, wanting to have as much of Peter as I could.

As the last drop of his cum slid down my throat, he slowly pulled away. I wiped away the small dribble of drool that had fallen down my chin. I looked up at him and he looked down at me, a smile on his face. His hand ran down the side of my head before caressing my face. I slowly got up, my legs still slightly weak. “Wow,” I said, slightly out of breath. Peter let out a soft chuckle before pulling me in for a kiss. We quietly got dressed. Peter grabbed my hand, leading me to his room. Our clothes didn’t stay on for too long as they quickly found their way to his bedroom floor. The night was filled with whispers of confessions of love, hands in hair, and lips pressed on naked skin. The next morning I would wake up, afraid that it had all been a dream before I turned to see Peter’s face on the pillow next to me. Then, a smile matching Peter’s sleepy one would form on my face.

#peter pevensie #high king peter the magnificent #high king peter #king peter the magnificent #peter pevensie x reader #peter pevensie smut #peter pevensie x y/n #peter pevensie x you #peter pevensie headcanon #peter pevensie fanfic #peter pevensie imagine #peter pevensie one shot #the chronicles of narnia #narnia #narnia fanfiction #narnia smut #narnia imagine

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earlgreydream · 3 years

Text

benefits.

anon requested. can you do draco x reader from best friend to fwb but no catching feelings rule...

a/n: lots of people have requested rough sex lately. it must be something in the air.

Several bad decisions led up to where you were now, curled up in Draco Malfoy’s bed, clutching his sheets to your body.

Bad decision number 1: Becoming best friends with Draco Malfoy.

How could you not? The blonde boy was ambitious, charming, and loyal. You had come to Hogwarts knowing nobody, a scared 11 year old in a new home, surrounded by new people. You were sitting alone at a table when the blonde sat down beside you.

“I’m Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.”

You were never lonely after that. You and Draco became inseparable. You were together at Hogwarts nearly every waking moment, and summers and christmases were spent at Malfoy Manor together, or traveling abroad to see the world.

Draco was always the first one to support you, the one to celebrate with you, and the one to cry with you. The two of you shared everything, sticking by one another, even through the occasional fight. Nothing would break up your friendship.

Bad decision number 2: Becoming friends with benefits with Draco Malfoy.

You couldn’t imagine trusting anyone enough to lose your virginity to, other than Draco Malfoy. That’s how it started, a night at Malfoy Manor during Christmas break.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Draco had asked you softly.

“I’m sure. Nothing will change, I just want to you to be the one.”

That was how you discovered that Draco Malfoy was entirely perfect. He took incredible care of you, making sure you were feeling good, and making sure you were safe. Draco adored you, and this decision added another layer of intimacy that brought the two of you closer.

One time wasn’t enough for either of you. Hooking up turned into a common occurrence for the two of you. You’d sworn it was strictly friends with benefits, that there was no strings attached, you were just using one another’s talent to get off.

This went on for years, and you and Draco had done it everywhere. At the Manor, at your own home, in your respective dorms, in the astronomy tower, in a broom closet, and even once on Snape’s desk when you were feeling particularly mischievous.

You’d both promised yourself it was no catching feelings, and you’d both managed to fail.

Bad decision number 3: Falling in love with Draco Malfoy.

It happened so fast, yet over so long, it was impossible to decipher how it happened. Maybe it was the sex, maybe it was cheering him on at quidditch games, maybe it was the late nights in the common room with tea. Maybe it was none of those things.

Draco was the other half of your heart, and you couldn’t imagine a single day without him. Your heart raced when he touched you, and you filled with butterflies at the sight of his smile.

The realization hit you all at once, after a particularly steamy night in his prefect dorm. For the first time in your life, you didn’t know how to tell Draco something. He sensed it, he knew the ins and outs of your mind and your heart.

“What’s on your mind, love?” It was an innocent question, spoken lightly as he laid beside you in the black sheets, studying the expression on your face.

That brought you to where you were now. You sat up to look at him, covering your naked body with the sheets. Draco’s hand rested casually on your thigh as it often did, his silver gaze patient as he waited for you to answer.

“I want more.”

Draco grinned and tried to pull the sheet from your body, and you swatted his hand away. The deviant smile fell from his face when he sat the seriousness in your eyes, and he sat up beside you.

“More, as in...?”

“I want to be in a real relationship. You’re my best friend, and I want more than just sex. I think we would be so good together.”

The silence that followed was suffocating, and the guarded expression that Draco never had with you broke out on his face. You shook your head, tears threatening to spill from your waterline. You wished you could take it back, but it was too late. He was already shutting down, and you felt like you’d made a catastrophic mistake.

“Draco, I-”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. There’s someone else...” he looked sickened, and you were stunned, feeling like the knife in your chest had been twisted.

“What?”

“I should’ve told you. I have plans to ask out Pansy-”

“Forget I said anything...” You breathed, suddenly feeling ashamed and exposed.

“Y/N. Love, wait.”

You were out of the bed, dragging your clothes on before he could stop you. You ran from his room, wanting to escape the embarrassment and tension.

You had never been away from Draco for so long. You’d avoided him, unable to face his rejection. You had heard from Hogwarts gossip that Pansy had rejected his offer to date, and you wondered why. She’d always shown interest in Draco, and you had scolded him in the past for leading her on. You couldn’t imagine what had possessed him to decide to ask her out.

You didn’t know it was to try to see if anyone made him feel the way that you did. Draco was enamoured with you, and he feared that you didn’t feel the same. He’d panicked when you’d asked for a relationship, and he wanted to tell you that he just wanted to be sure. You must’ve understood, because you had done the same with Theodore Nott in fourth year.

Draco was devastated by the loss of you. You’d avoided him, ignoring all his attempts to try to spend time with you. He wanted to tell you that he realized it was a mistake the second you’d walked out the door. He’d asked Pansy out, and she had turned him down, knowing she would never be you.

“Draco, I care about you. You’re in love with Y/N. I can see it, everyone can see it. She’s in love with you too. You don’t need to experiment with me to confirm it.”

He wondered how he could’ve been so blind. How he could’ve hurt you like that. The regret was all-consuming.

To make matters worse, he’d seen you with George Weasley, and everyone whispered that you didn’t leave the Gryffindor dorms at night. White-hot jealousy twisted in Draco whenever he saw you with the redhead. It was too much, and he couldn’t take it.

George was there to keep you warm, but it was nothing like Draco. George didn’t understand you, he didn’t know what you were thinking without an explanation. His eyes didn’t light up the same way when you laughed. He was sweet, but he wasn’t Draco.

Three weeks passed, and you felt raw. You were barely paying attention as you walked through the quiet corridors, lost in thought. Thoughts of Draco, thoughts of how right now you would be curled up on a couch, studying potions, if you hadn’t told him the truth.

You gasped in surprise as a hand came to the small of your back, another wrapping around your arm.

“Draco?” You were startled. He was pulling you down a side hallway, to empty, abandoned corridors that were never used. A large iron door appeared in the stone wall, and you let Draco wordlessly push you through it, into the Room of Requirement.

The room was fashioned like an elaborate bedroom, a massive bed with black silk sheets in the center. The lights were low, and you suddenly felt warm.

“Draco, what is going on?” You turned to your best friend, your hands coming to rest on his chest when his body was practically against yours.

“I can’t stand to see you with that bloody redhead. You belong with me.” Draco was practically seething, and the lust in his eyes made your body wake with familiar adrenaline.

“Prove it.”

Draco tore your uniform off of you, buttons clattering against the cold floor. Your heart was beating in your ribcage, your nerves beginning to spark with anticipation to feel Draco’s touch again.

Warmth heated your face and ears when Draco tossed you onto the bed, positioning you at the edge while he stood in front of you. This wasn’t going to be gentle and tender, this was animalistic, wild, and desperate. Draco was rough and it had you weak at his fingertips.

“He will never touch you again!” Draco snarled, his hand wrapping around your throat and squeezing. You were pinned to the bed, and he pulled your thighs apart, putting a knee on the bed to balance in front of you.

“Never,” you shook your head, finding a hold on his shoulders. He kissed you deeply, full of need and force. He swallowed your quiet moans, and your fingers tangled in his hair as he sank into you. You tightened your arms around him as he began to move, giving you a moment to breath before he started to slam into you with the pent up jealousy, hurt, and regret of the last three weeks.

The walls of the Room of Requirement absorbed your moans and yells, keeping your secrets safe within them. Draco released your neck and pinned your hands above his head, hitting places that sent shudders of pleasure through your body.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Draco breathed, shocking you with the kind honesty. You pulled him down onto you and the rough aggression faded. He rocked into you gently, kissing your neck, your bodies fully pressed together.

“I love you so much, I’m so sorry. I’m never going to let you go again.”

You kissed him passionately, the tension in your body releasing as waves of emotion flooded through you.

“I love you, Draco.”

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sanvitheartificer · 3 years

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i really, really loved imbalance. i fully ran around the house when I got to the motes part, like several times. my whole family was around and i was not capable of explaining the emotions i was feeling at that moment LOVE that Taako and Davenport are just two different amazing fucking setups for fun things to explore more in fic??? Davenport's especially, because I am predictable. I have MANY THOUGHTS. 1. That being his regret HURTS SO MUCH. this crew loves each other SO MUCH and i love, love love that we get to see it. i left the end of TAZ Balance feeling a little like, after everything, they just sort of all split up, the trope where, yeah, found family is important, but really they have their own lives with their romantic partners or hobbies or whatever and that's more important. imbalance brought me a lot of closure because I feel, at the end of it, that it showed that they may have their own lives and romantic partners and hobbies, but just because the finale focused on those things doesn't mean they abandoned each other. They're still a HUGE part of each other's lives and that's... i really, really deeply appreciate that. It honestly makes me feel I can go back to the whole story with more peace; it makes the whole thing matter more to me. 2. "Back soon" OKAY COOL THANKS DAVENPORT COOL COOL COOL 3. but seriously, i have to wonder if exploring this possibility will actually bring Davenport closure, or if it will just hurt him. Because the thing is, ... i do feel like, if he listened in that moment, they could've gotten to the solution they eventually found a lot faster -- if they really prodded at Lucretia's idea, I think they would have figured it out. and they might... lose some things, in that. Would Taako meet Kravitz? Would Magnus meet Julia? would Merle ever have kids? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not? but i just feel like..... regret isn't really about a logical pros and cons list. Would his family being more grounded really measure up to the weight of ten years of suffering avoided? And if it did, is he going to return to the timeline where he, and the world, were lost for ten years, for the sake of making things a little better? It's ironic, maybe, because I adore time travel, but I usually read stories where once you go, you're stuck with the world you have. And as this has been set up, it's more like forcing Davenport to make a horrible choice between two worlds that each have their own benefits, and to be haunted by the ghost of another timeline either way. Or, if he’s trapped just viewing the alternate timeline, without being able to choose to live there, I don’t feel that is much better -- maybe it would allow him to see that there are things that would be lost in that timeline, too, and that would be enough, or maybe living it would let him put away the possibility, but I’m worried that it would just haunt him more.

(I do desperately want to write that fic now, though. the fic where he listens. Maybe it’s less that Davenport from Imbalance is living this, and more like he’s watching an alternate timeline version of himself play this out -- watching a world where things went better and worse in different ways, and where he’s better and worse, in different ways, and then returning home.) All that said, holy shit Aabria is a good DM. the questions she asked them were just... so, so so SO much. Beautiful, and made me feel like i wanted to cry, and just -- ahhh, it's just that she really gave them exactly what was the... most gift, for them? The kindest thing she could have possibly given each of them. Also, Taako the ranger. whatever his other name was. fjsdklfjdslfdsjfdskl just. God. I'm just kind of imagining like, outsider POV fic, somehow???? like this fucking NEWBIE ADVENTURING PARTY needs a ranger and fucking taako shows up. oh my god. i feel like what i would want to do is the party having this ongoing bet about whether that is actually Taako, or merely a crazy fan, or merely, like, the wildest coincidence to ever coincidence? And one of the party members is TOTALLY convinced it's DEFINITELY not Taako c'mon oh my god what if taako takes down the glamour from wonderland to really sell the bit. i don't know if he would do that because that feels like a little much for him, but maybe if he could sell it as, like, horrible disfigurement??? like, add some makeup scars? Not glamour scars the glamour's a diff thing this is totally a new whole deal! AND ALSO. it does kind of suck that Aabria wasn't able to make much of a hit on these wildly OP boys, even with Taako fucking being basically a level 1 ranger off in the corner, but i appreciate it in terms of "they have literally a hundred years of experience" -- it makes a lot of sense that not much is going to faze them and it makes it easier for me to reconcile my headcanons of sort of where they're at, given all they've experienced. and it was still really entertaining, even though Magnus just like. fucking intimidates an actual god in like the first five minutes, fjdsklfdsjkl. honestly it's kind of on-brand because Griffin's always been a pretty chill DM i feel like; i feel like the boys have rarely faced something that massively outclasses them without a pretty good escape route built in (I realize as I type this that there's the Purple Worm and the Hunger and Wonderland, but like, they had a lot of hints there, so), and that's relaxing to listen to! Anyway I have rarely been as excited as I was to listen to TAZ Imbalance, and it did not disappoint me at all.

#taz #taz balance #taz imbalance #taz imbalance spoilers #taz spoilers

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beauty-and-passion · 3 years

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A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come.

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

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Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

______________________________

Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

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Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

#sanders sides ships #sanders sides #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #moceit #intrulogical #prinxiety #and a sprinkle of #dukeceit #logince #I know I have pretty basic tastes #it takes me a lot to warm to a couple #I blame the fandom for making these so appealing #i couldn't help myself

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sugar-petals · 3 years

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:: random things about boyfriend yoongi

↳ ♡ NOTE I saw this format floating around the fandom and thought it was cool and sweet (just like our honey boy so here it goes) 😊 includes an sfw and nsfw bit, both can be read independently.

words. 3k

SFW

First off, Yoongi is laid-back and casually sexy the way we know him. But he also has spikes of energy where he actually gets a little clingy. Any opportunity he will use to hold hands or jump around like a madman with his gummy smile because he got excited about something that you never could predict would make him so happy. He truly is an epiphany.

He’s your most eager personal chef but funnily enough a little unsettled by onions so you end up helping him. Yoongi hates to be crying in the kitchen because of some evil little vegetable but hey, perfect time and place to spend half an hour huddled together cooking or baking. And Yoongi is secretly longing for a cheesy scene, he finds it romantic when you wipe the tears from his face.

His way of speaking to you is a mix of mumbly Korean, high-pitched pouty cat speak, and old-school English slang phrases that he learned somewhere on social media or award shows back in 2018. Most of the time he takes things seriously but is up for some joking anyway. He is sure to giggle every now and then which is really adorable of him. Yoongi is also the person who gets every nuance of your humor and reacts to it.

After being single, you really have to get used to someone waddling around the house. Like— oh, he’s there! And it’s none other than him! Since Yoongi isn’t noisy when he concentrates on his laptop, it really stands out when he morphs from his unmovable rock-like being to a slow rolling stone headed towards the kitchen from time to time. You have to blink every time. And how could you not look up, he’s walking by with his cutest oversized sweaters and striped fluffy socks.

He cannot hide things that normal people would try to keep secret — because of their own discomfort, but he is good at blocking out things that serve your comfort. I’ll explain what I mean. If you have been keeping up with Yoongi postponing the reveal of his surgery until it was successful, you know what I mean. In short, Yoongi is pretty much an automatic filter for things that disturb you. Knowing the right time and place to inform you is the key. As is disregarding things that don’t concern you as a couple, unnecessary drama and opinions. He’s really good at that without ever trying to sugar-coat the important things because he remains a frank and honest soul.

Yoongi has an easier time giving random presents for simple occasions rather than making a big deal out of traditional festivities. So, big celebrations are often kept simple — unless the rest of BTS is there advocating their ‘a little party never killed nobody’ motto — while Yoongi focuses on getting you something attentive or useful every other day pretty much. He’s still a frugal type, you know him. It’s more about inexpensive things that catch his eye because he heard you likes this or that type of snack or want this or that sofa cushion.

There’s always something new and surprising in the fridge and it’s hardly ever empty because Yoongs takes care of the groceries, really thinking it through. Just personal chef things. Being Yoongi’s partner must be the most destressing thing. He takes responsibility for the worldly things, the ironing clothes and the trash cans. He himself thinks that’s the easiest shit ever and is ready to put time into it (he sees the merit, it drives him) while thinking your side — the sheer act of being in love with him, being there for him — must be hard. Which it isn’t.

Yoongi thinks emotions and relationships are tough and complicated while daily life runs smoothly at the snap of a finger. You think maintenance is a drudgery while love is not the maze your boyfriend assumes it is. Deep down Yoongi thinks he’s unlovable and a bad person, that’s why he believes he doesn’t have the burden but you have. That your affection then blazes past the barriers in Yoongi’s esteem is something that he finds incredible. It catches him off guard there, you burst the bubbles of the flaws he falsely imagines he has.

You bet your ARMY bomb you’re watching cat videos together.

Guess who’s the first person to hear all of Yoongi’s upcoming hit tracks? Even Namjoon gets the first sample ten minutes later. You gotta be really advanced at keeping secrets and avoiding accidental leaks with your phone or something.

Yoongi hesitates with the analogy because it’s a little funny and you’re evidently not a steaming liquid made of beans, but he claims you really are like his daily americano. Makes his every morning better.

Now, in all seriousness. What means the most to him is that you take him how he is and are stable company. Yoongi is afraid of betrayal and stupid games so he has to be sure to have a safe bet going. I think that’s why he fancies marriage, it’s a sign of commitment and some degree of permanence to him. And yes, he is a bit jealous in nature since he’s easily invested in someone with a purity of feeling, almost in a naive way. Yoongi easily idolizes his partner and puts a lot of energy into a bond. He wants to protect that, take the risk, and he has watched for someone who radiates genuine trust and faith. He is sure to have found it in you without any illusions and he is right. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.

Playing the piano for dinner or date night is a must, he practices constantly to advance to a great standard. He secretly finds a lot of satisfaction in you cooing at his skills and melodies. Those ten bony fingers gliding over the keys with such a technicality and focus, and a passion that makes you hold your breath, it’s great to watch.

Did you see that one coming? He will compose and produce a designated mixtape only for you personally. Yes, with a little self-filmed, self-cut music video for the title track.

Now those things never see the light of day, they’re all for you. But what about your couple life once it touches the social realm? As one might expect, Yoongi is very ‘eyes turn narrow’ with people who bring disharmony to your dynamic and the relationship in general. In fact, he is grumpy and disappointed, and should someone give him a reason, distinctly brutal. If someone even attempts to test you or plays manipulative games, Yoongi is relentlessly turning them from the inside out with his words that never miss the mark. They’re efficient. As I said, he hates playing annoying games, he’ll do any shortcut and be Yoongi.

I guarantee you can lean back and will never the fazed by stupid people and time wasters again. No need to lose face. Yoongi does the dirty work and is the best possible defender to have on your side. He handles that. Invasive opinions and useless phrases he will shove right up some trashtalker’s ass and leave. Let’s squarely say he is unafraid to be a armchair critic of your and his haters and doesn’t want any of that nuisance to disturb what you have together. He cuts very quick and makes sure not to get tangled up in trouble.

Yoongi will also debunk a whole bunch of weirdos on weverse asking about your private love while he’s at it. Prepare for some very entertaining snide remarks. Oh my god, so many entitled people will be pissed off. Many will also celebrate him for stepping up. What’s actually important to Yoongi is that nobody taints what is like a treasure to him.

It won’t be hard to overlook that Yoongi is very proud of you as well. He looks confident and revering when he hangs out with the group and you’re somewhere close by, even just doing something trivial.

He’s also pretty touchy, sometimes publically to demonstrate something, but mostly in the relative calm and safety of a hotel room. When the lights are out, all barriers crash, the utter romantic takes over. His favorite types of kisses besides those onto his hands are when you kiss his lashes. And yep. Yoongs is such a cozy little spoon. A very curled up one with cute shooky pajamas on most likely.

Talk about clothes. Believe it or not, Yoongi’s fashion goes through a significant change due to the relationship. He knows that you are touchy and thinks about what kinds of flannels are the biggest cuddle magnet, after all. And oh wonder, he will also show some level of skin when he accidentally hears your praises for his arms and legs and collar bones and glowy skin while talking to a close friend of yours. So, look forward to that in summer (he still dislikes the winter cold and wraps himself into scarves twice his size, mind you) though it’s still for your eyes only, he covers up when going out. Truth be told, he enjoys when you casually touch his skin. Especially the arms. Which hold up the firmament to you, and your world, too, and guard it.

BTS will know about how excited he is about you because he often boasts about for how long you’ve been living together by now. We all know this is Yoongi’s favorite way of bragging and it further shows that loyalty, dedication and longevity is the spice to his every meal.

Yoongi is probably going to quit the bottle because you naturally make him feel at ease and upbeat. In fact, he simply forgets about his wine. I don’t have to convince you that Yoongi will be very immersed in any interaction with you whether that be watching movies or discussing his latest tracks.

Those discussions come with extra back massages for him because he spends a lot of hours in his chair. Especially around the neck, it’s no secret that this is in every cat’s top 3 favorite massaging areas. Yoongi is gonna make some really raspy, sleepy sounds and just melt in your hands. He’s gonna sleep like a baby afterwards every time. Sometimes, he says funny and cute things while he dozes. He looks very content.

Say goodbye to the 21st century adulting annoyances in your life because Yoongi has a grip on those without a word. Those six specific chores that always plague you take him only a dozen minutes and he is eager, the forms to fill out are already sent off, the list of people to e-mail is weeded through. The taxes are paid, the bank account is full, the meals are on the table, garnished to perfection. Roof over the head, and it’s a sturdy one, Yoongi bought a sound haven house to inhabit a lot of happiness for two.

He’s probably the only person who doesn’t see it as a loss of dignity if you want to hold on tight to him during a dentist visit as a grown ass mf. Why all of this? Yoongi cannot not strive to feel needed in his actions. He wouldn’t like himself if he couldn’t contribute something reliable and useful. That you find things worthy of your time is priority. You complement each other, what you think is a waste of energy makes him work and strive and vice versa. That way, in the end all things are taken care of.

Giving is more important than taking in Yoongi’s world. He thinks of everything because he considers it an offense to have you in a pile of duties, that is, if you don’t like ‘em. It’s his form of dedicating his efforts and showing respect. He doesn’t need much in return. The things he expects if at all don’t feel like a duty: Much like he doesn’t consider doing those acts of services for you likewise.

Work horse he is, he needs something on his daily to-do plan. Which includes making you feel unbothered by the occasions of an incoming strict world when it’s getting to you. You’re supposed to do what you feel like doing just like him and not slave away at fifty deeds. That you torture yourself with daily life hassle is the thing he dislikes seeing the most. He enjoys doing these things so he’s happy to get going.

What’s not a daily life hassle: Holly is a big fan of yours. Instant friendship. Just wanted you to know.

He always knows how to preoccupy himself and finds something to improve. Getting on your nerves, and that’s no surprise, is the last thing Yoongi will ever do. In fact, you sometimes have to search for his napping spot because he got lost somewhere in the house.

He either sleeps or works, his philosophy is simple. If you need him, he does appear seemingly out of nowhere. And, he spends as much time with you as you enjoy, not always prioritizing his producing unless it’s urgent or he’s on an inspiration streak. Which is great anyway, you can sit next to him listening. It’s the right balance of work and play.

Yoongi is not above blatantly showing off. Actually, he goes for an act of stunning pretty often. You know how cats parade around whatever they just caught. He wants to impress you with assets and accolades and appraisals, the boy can’t help it. That you only lightly nod at most of it with a little smile will confuse him but he will get the point later on. You wanna signal Yoongi that you anchor your love for him not in shifting numbers and chunky metal pieces.

That you don’t confuse his signs of outward worth and fame with the core of the guy you find the sweetest in the world is very important to him. He will take some time to see through that because he’s used to being loved through status and its symbols by people close and afar.

The way you throw yourself at him to give a big smooch in random situations — especially when he doesn’t feel great about himself— rather than only when he say gets a new car is sending him a message. Again, he has to grow into that. He will retreat at the beginning because he feels worthless of your affection on days where he doesn’t feel big and bold and successful. But since he sees you jumping on him because you need only his kind and squishy presence and see him as no different than usual because he’s always Yoongi underneath, your boyfriend will change his mind about it sooner or later. He learns that your presence makes him feel like a billion dollars yourself.

You don’t wallow in the regrets of other people missing the point of Yoongi and instead focus on always understanding him rather than enabling Yoongi into wrong directions. And there are many of those, his mental health can tell you a thing or two about it. He begins to get that you really know what you’re doing and are in it for the real him which makes him feel really loved far underneath all surfaces and images. You accept his fame and admire his work with music which is what he’s truly doing it for but also don’t forget that the most vulnerable Yoongi is the one that you’re there for and not a facade.

NSFW

I know you’re curious. That Yoongi’s sexual style is more than just interesting goes without saying. To give you an idea. Anything steamy with Yoongi means him taking his time. You know, for making it quality. Yoongi wants to grow into the right balance of activity and staying relaxed. He is good at keeping cool and bringing some focus to the madness. He wants to figure out how to be more casual instead of tense and overly preoccupied which he’ll be at the start of the relationship. But the fast learner he is, his nervousness fades way faster than you think.

Yoongi is extremely afraid that he can’t please you or starts to become awkward slash clueless so he darts to the opposite of the spectrum and overperforms, even plays a character. You have enough cool yourself to tell him what to do in the pace that works best. That he stays centered in his body is important for you to teach him. When he gets grounded and juggling his confidence is out of the equation, he fucks the best.

His favorite position besides giving oral — with you on your back — will be doggy style. Man, we gotta talk about that. Slow to upper moderate pace, nothing too all over the place. Yoongi moans very slowly, too, all drawn out. Get ready for a frequent session of some anal to unwind. You heard that right. First, Yoongi will get the two of you into the right rhythm with his hands at the sides of your waist, then, ride it out in slow mo with his right hand properly stimulating you from the front.

By habit, he will add some lube here and there but not use insanely dripping amounts so everything gets messy or he can’t touch you without sliding off anymore. Just enough to slide well. Yoongi is so good at this I swear, it’ll be your favorite thing to relax. He has the restraint and technique to pull it off rather than pulling out, huh. Yoongi is gonna stay inside you for ages. It feels like he’s massaging every spot for some extra time. It’s amazing to slack off your muscles, cool off, and get many a gentle but fulfilling orgasm.

He’s not gonna put you through the hassle of dealing with an anal creampie cleanup so he keeps it wrapped, and mostly focuses on your movements altogether while keeping his own climax smooth and more relieving rather than something that relentlessly knocks him out in one go. Yoongi is good at observing and doesn’t feel the need to chase a violent high which is why he is so great at sex. Fucking with Yoongi leaves a wholesome feeling and you never feel ashamed or guilty, or a sense of being dirty and ruined.

He enjoys having sex to make you feel really good and works his hands on you very respectfully. His goal is to have you wet and pulsing after a long while of getting you there, and putting you to a good night’s sleep. He’d feel terrible if he left you sore or disturbed. He is really passionate, especially with his kisses or when you ask him to slide into very deeply, but Yoongi being brash and controlling is an image out of sight.

Besides giving you the number one heavenly assfucks, Yoongi also likes to work his tongue as we know, and he’ll work it all over. Few body parts of yours have not made contact with that glorious mouth and I say that in the best of ways. You can instruct him to do whatever, Yoongi obliges with radiant joy. And here again, he takes minutes upon minutes. Kissing and kissing and licking and maybe even teasing once or twice to make you smile. You know, a little signature wink. Honoring your skin and every shape is not something that Yoongi has to talk about, he will physically show it and I swear it’ll finally get into your head with every little move, Yoongi has totally surrendered his tongue to your body and worships it.

#yoongi #yoongi hc #bts smut #yoongi smut #bts #yoongi x reader #boyfriend yoongi #yoongi scenario #yoongi imagine #bts x reader #boyfriend bts #bts bullet points #bangtan

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rcksmith · 3 years

Text

Spring breeze part.2 — Spencer Reid

Gif by @ssadrreid

Sumarry: Spencer never thought about falling in love with someone, but he certainly didn't expect that he would fall in love with Gideon's daughter. — season 3 —

Part.1 Part.3 Part.4

A/N: I was very happy with the return you guys had in the first part💖. I hope you guys like.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️ Couple:Spencer Reid / Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: nothing, just very fluff.

— — — — —

Spencer straightened his tie for the hundredth time in front of the mirror, in several unsuccessful attempts to exhibit his best that day. It was funny and ironic how, after so many years wearing dress shirts and a tie, the universe seemed to handpick that day to do - no matter how much Spencer tried to fix it - his tie looked weird. The fabric was too far to the left, or too far to the right, or too wrinkled in the folds. No matter how much he undid the knot or changed his tie, still looked strange.

What a nightmare.

Reid was barely able to sleep with the notion that he would see you today, his body being whipped assiduously by unsettling waves of euphoria, his mind whizzing like a propellant, anxiety screaming in his mind and sending his sleep for miles away. That morning, the world seemed to be more stuffy, hot and torrid, and for a second, Reid felt himself under the heat of Egypt instead of autumn in Washington.

He could feel his heart speeding up with the steps of the clocks, his breath running away from his lungs, a thousand and one speeches being revised in his head to try to lessen the likelihood of speaking some bullshit near you. Because he couldn't ruin that chance.

Spencer knew he was not the type of guy to have dates whit women like you every day. In fact, Laila had been the only stunning woman who had looked at him a second time. But, well, to be honest, he knew that all that affection she had directed him had been side effects of the transfer. He had been her hero and it clouded people's rationality. And, to his disquiet and to the dread of his insecurity, you were above the beauty of Laila on stratospheric levels.

To make matters worse, the damn tie wasn't good! God, he was screwed.

Spencer gave up on that impossible mission, settling for and conforming to what the tie looked like after the twentieth attempt. He wanted you to see him as a handsome person, a man worth wasting time with, not a boy who only served to be your friend. You were beautiful on so many levels that... well, Reid wanted you to be attracted to him, too, to simplify.

He stepped away from the mirror and slung his work bag over his shoulder, trying to control the pounding of his own heart.

On the way to work, trying hard to avoid thinking about what him looked like in that damned imperfect tie, Reid wondered, for a moment, if you too were under the same emotions. Did you change your clothes several times because you also felt anxious too? Could it be that, like him hands, yours also trembled? Or, if he was lucky, was your heart beating as hard as him?

He hoped that was yes.

As soon as he entered the BAU headquarters, with anxiety as his chaperone, Spencer sat at his own table while pouring a “Good morning” to his colleagues.

“Arrived early.” Derek narrowed his eyes at him, in that suspicious look.

"I am never late." He was quick to hit and that caused his friend to raise an eyebrow.

"But you never be anxious to get here earlier."

Sometimes Spencer hated that his friends were profiles.

“I just like my job.” Reid started to unpack things of bag, trying to avoid the look of Derek who was still burning his back.

“Oh, I'm sure you like.” The double meaning in his friend's tone did not go unnoticed by Spencer, but he did not want to delve into the truths of that argument, much less think about it.

Emily and JJ arrived after a few minutes, with Garcia following behind and making their point that she was not to blame for buying those pairs of shoes, since they were practically begging her to take them. Normally, Reid did not look at the glass door whenever he heard someone approaching, or had a strong desire to see Gideon pass through them as well.

But that day... that day, seeing Gideon meant seeing you. And seeing you meant that you would go through that door. And going through that door meant that Spencer would see you come in. That was enough to make his gaze turn to those doors from minute to minute.

But time passed. Fifteen minutes flew by, then twenty, then thirty. Anxiety increased and now his agitated heart was tuned to his right leg, which did not stop quietly, shaking from top to bottom assiduously.

“What do you look for at the door so much, Reid?”

Prentiss asked the last question that Reid would like to answer, and that caught Derek’s attention, who, as expected, laughed amusingly and sank further into the chair, a sly, playful smile on his lips.

“Oh, he is expecting a member of the Gideon family.”

Spencer swore and, in that moment, he was never so jealous of ostriches for being able to stick their heads underground. If he were one of them, he would definitely do it.

“I'm not expecting Y/n.” he said, whit voice higher and thin than usual.

“But I didn't say it was Y/n.” Derek laughed and Spencer felt his cheeks go red.

This time he gave up hitting back, his let out a bad mood murmur and turned forward, forcing himself not to look at the door anymore. From that moment on, Spencer focused on focusing on the pile of reports in front of him, forcing his brain to disconnect from the things around him and concentrate on matters that demand his all attention.

The hours went by, faster this time, the case-free day was being used to finish late reports and giving the team time to recover the nerves and breath of the last case.

After noon, Gideon still hadn't arrived and Spencer started to feel slightly fearful. He was about to take his phone out of his pocket and dial Jason when JJ appeared, handing over more piles of reports to they that required to be finished today.

Derek gave a loud curse of annoyance, muttering something and back to writing again. Emily was used to the paperwork bureaucracy, but from the bittersweet and dissatisfied look on her face, Spencer knew that no one there shared the same delight him had with paperwork. He also knew that Morgan was exhausted because he had remodeled a property yesterday and was barely could to sleep, and Prentiss felt overwhelmed because she was dealing with problems with her mother and with the bureaucracy policy that Strauss pressed against her.

Then Spencer looked at the file stack itself. There was a lot of paperwork, but the amount of reports he would finish in two minutes was three times what his friends would finish in an hour. He leaned forward, looking over the table to see Emily and focusing Derek better in his field of vision.

“Do you guys want to give some reports? I finish faster anyway”

They agreed without hesitating or pretending modesty. Reid laughed, saying that his friends would owe him one, and went back to work.

After that, when Spencer finished the reports and lifted his head from the paperwork, the light in the world had dimmed to a dark blue hue, streaked by small, bright stars.

The breeze coming in through the large glass windows was fresh and invigorating, the scent of the night's wonderful promises was reminiscent of your perfume. And then he realized that neither you nor Gideon showed up all day. Something about him withered, the euphoria diminished until it became as small as the stars outside. The clock struck seven at night when Spencer got up and put his things away, millions of feelings buzzing in chest.

The unsettling sense of concern began to take place than had previously to been emotions of anxiety and excitement, and he pondered whether to ask Hotch about Gideon or to call himself. Reid looked around, looking under his colleagues, who were packing up to go home, and going up to Aaron's office. He could still see his figure under the marble table, the light from the room underscoring the serious and concentrated expression he directed to the documents. The air in that room looked different, maybe more dense, maybe more serious. But Spencer knew it was best to let Hotch do his own thing.

He ran the tip of his tongue over the corner of lips, reaching into his pocket and reaching for his cell phone.

“Hey, Reid." he turned toward Morgan, that signaled them to go to the elevator.

“Did you speak to Gideon today? Or did you hear Hotch say something about it?” The question came after he reached Derek, both of them walking out the glass door.

"Is it Gideon you're worried about or... his daughter?” He laughs shamelessly, pressing the elevator button.

Spencer stumbles over the words when says: “Wh-What? No. I'm just worried about him. It has nothing to do with… ”

As soon as the sentence was about to end, the elevator doors open. Instead of the usual void or presence of someone from the FBI, Spencer felt catatonic when he saw the female figure inside.

You.

In a burst, like a strong wind that blows and pushes things away, Spencer was struck by all the feelings and sensations that had been bubbling in his stomach all day. Euphoria, anxiety, insecurity and... animation. Suddenly, he was worried again about how he would look, what he would say, if he was presentable enough for you to look at him with... Well, Spencer didn't know how he wanted you to look at him, but he wished it were something that guarantee your affection.

He wanted to be something that excited you, that made your heart race. Just like his was now.

"Y/n...” He did not recognize his own voice. The intonation.

"Hey." You smiled genuinely, and it was able to make Reid's heart beat so fast that he feared you could hear. “I'm sorry I didn't show up and neither did my dad.”

“No problem at all.” He was sincere “Did something happen? Are you two okay? ”

The concern in Reid's voice was so palpable that you losing your breath. God, that man couldn't be real.

“I just remembered that Garcia is call me." Morgan tried to swallow a big smile “It was good to see you, Y/n.”

“Me too, Morgan.” You gave him a hand gesture that, for Reid, was lovely.

Spencer put his arm in the elevator door, preventing it from closing.

“Will you want to leave?” Always as solicitous as a gentleman.

“Oh no.” Now it was your cheeks that were softly red. “I came to see you actually.”

If nothing that had happened before was not enough to steal Spencer's breath, your sentence completed the mission. He put himself in an elevator, pressing a button and letting the doors close.

"I was going to bring my dad today, but ... well” You laughed “To put it succinctly, my dad has a list of things he wants to do before he dies, and one of them was rollerblading”

You and Spencer laughed. Half because he would have laughed at anything you said to see your smile, and half because he couldn't see Gideon having such a list. But he liked it. The feeling of knowing that Jason was having fun, enjoying life, not letting that job rip off all of his humanity, was comforting, joyful.

“Why do I feel this is not going to end well?" He joked too and you laughed.

“Because it doesn't end.” Your fingers ran through your hair “We ended up going to a place that had this, before he have work today, and he ended up twisting his ankle when he fell.”

You tried to no laught, because it was not something to play with, but after the fright passed and your father and you were entangled, they both burst out laughing. And now, reliving that, you didn't remember the hurt itself, but how great the fun between the two of you had been.

“He is fine?" But Spencer had a worried flash in his eyes.

“Oh, yes, the doctor said there was nothing much. He just needs to get some rest.” You smiled “I was going to call, but one thing led to another and when I saw it, it was too late to call. So I thought about coming in person.”

Spencer was known to have a photographic memory and a very high IQ, but at that moment, if then asked what you had just said, he would need a moment to remember. For the only thing he was concentrating on at that moment was the certainty that your smile could light up the whole of Washington. How your eyes held the stars' syntax and how the energy that emanated from you was... cheerful.

He realized that you were a cheerful person, outgoing and with an innate ease of making friends. You had that special touch that made people and the universe orbit around you. And Spencer knew it was one of the planets captured by your gravity.

"It is very sweet of you to come here to tell me that.” He smiled, but then realized what he had just said “N-not that you owe me any explanation! I just-I think it's cool that you worried and…n-not that I waited for you but… not th-that I didn't expect you too and...” Spencer stopped talking, giving up trying to find the right words to get him out of the mess he got himself into.

At times like this, Reid was used to people just dropping an embarrassed nod and leaving, or ignoring the avalanche of things he said. But as soon as the tone of your laughter echoed through the elevator and snaked through him body like a wave of energy, Reid looked at you more closely. You didn't give that embarrassed look, nor did you look sorry for him. You laughed lovingly and touched his arm.

"I was also looking forward to seeing you.” You summed up all of him thoughts in one sentence and freed him from all fears.

"Serious?" But disbelief was still present.

The elevator door opened and the two of you got out, walking to the exit of the building and being greeted by the cool, comforting breeze of the night.

“Yea.” You said as if it were obvious, “What do you think about going to a movie? It's not too late. ”

If Spencer had been told a few weeks ago that in a few days he would be on a date with the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, he would have scoffed. He would have thought it was a joke with a background of evil. Going out with girls was not on the list of things Spencer did regularly, but he was thanking any confusion or mistake the Universe had made to accidentally placed you with him.

To be honest, with you on his side, with you with him, Spencer felt like he had won in life. That all those years of school and university, when he only saw beautiful girls from afar and dreamed of what it would be like to have one this girls interest in him, had dissipated into the air. Dissolved in the breeze like smoke. During all the hours of film, the joyful and ecstatic conversations you both had after, Spencer could feel the connection in the air. Naturally, kind of magical.

Did he know you two days or two decades ago?

You told all of your adventures, all of stories, and listened carefully to every ramble and phrase Reid had to say. He felt, for the first time, completely important. As if everything he had to say was valuable as a diamond, rare as a tropical treasure.

He felt comfortable, relaxed, cheerful.

And when, at the end of the night while the two of you were walking along the lively and vibrant streets of DC, you took his hand and intertwined yours fingers, Spencer never felt so alive.

He had been born twenty-four years, but only now did he really feel what it was like to be alive.

tagged: @gublersuvula @peculiarinsomniac

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid #dr.spencer reid x reader #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #derek morgan #spencer x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg imagine #mgg fluff #mathew gray gubler #mgg x reader

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lovedinapastlife · 3 years

Text

Rec List

Hey. It’s me. Sunlit Garden on AO3. If you would like to find a bughead fic, beta, be long-term groomed with positive feedback and helpfulness, then have your self-confidence chipped away, be isolated from other support systems, be negged, insulted, and emotionally harassed/toyed with to output to her idea of perfection -- or find someone who did this to others and will most likely weasel their way into doing it again -- I recommend none other than jandjsalmon, the gal who runs theblueandgoldoffice - a handy fic-finding website.

I made a prior post about my personal experience but apparently not everyone knew it was her because I didn’t name her specifically. Hopefully, this is the last post I’ll ever make about her. A lot of wonderful people reached out with similar experiences or sympathy but I’ve also seen some continue to interact with her or rec her as someone to follow. Now, I’m putting it in the tags. Her name is out there. If I see her on rec lists, at least I know the info is out there that she abused me and others and whoever posted didn’t want to deal with having to deal with her bullshit of her harassing them or they think I’m a liar. I have nothing to lose in this fandom or to gain by outing her. I’m doing it because I don’t want her to be introduced to new waves of authors/readers/people will trust her without protecting themselves or doing something to protect others. Unfortunately, me and the victims I talked to did not feel comfortable sharing how much she hurt us with each other until she’d done a fair amount of damage, and we were all trying to make it work with her until we hit a breaking point.

As a reminder... this is just a potential scenario based on past experience.

If you do become mutuals, and she thinks you have an ounce of fandom fame or MIGHT post things she likes if she bugs you enough, she might make you aesthetics, reblog, comment, buddy up to your friends to get closer to you, find out and exploit your insecurities or mental illness, notably withdraw support to prove a point if you like something she doesn’t or even show love for another person who doesn’t love her, keep records of your convos, show them to other people, vague post about you (sometimes even going so far as to message you without you even asking to make sure you know ‘oh it wasn’t about you’ to rub salt in that wound), let her husband talk shit about and to you even when on good terms with her, and try to get involved in your personal life to be your (only) best friend and support system... only to tell you you are nothing without her, people rely on her for recs and she can turn the tides on fandom favorites, you should not write original works because original romance is “disgusting” YA is “immature” and no one likes your work and your mind is too fucked up to be productive without her. No one will love you or have time for you like her.

She will insist you include scenes even if you don’t want them there, then try to claim she helped write your fic in the comments of it when all she did was tell you to add something you already wrote and deleted back in, though she did comment on the doc and talk through your million ideas and pick her favorite OF YOUR OWN IDEAS and help with grammar. She will also tell you at least one of your fics is disgusting and berate you to the point of not wanting to post it, especially if it shows Betty even slightly interested in someone besides Jughead at some point in her life, claiming “that’s not her!” but OOC or Jughead with past/current partners is no problem... and she will be very apologetic to have to tell you and make you feel bad, but brag in DMs of her friends that she “made you change your mind” and “taught you how to think” if you eventually cave and adjust something. Conversations become drags where you agree with what she says just to avoid confrontations and meltdowns sometimes.

If you talk to her and try to rebuild your friendship or set boundaries, she will either lash out or apologize and be good for a few days until she can find a reason to turn on you again. When you distance yourself for protection or make new friends, she will harass you in DMs asking why you unfollowed (even if it’s a tumblr glitch) or followed so and so, why you did or didn’t like something, tell you how awful everyone except her is, and try to get you to talk shit about your own friends when you know she’s talking shit about you, too.

Oh and if you compliment her on something you’re considered good at that she’s insecure about (prompted or unprompted), be prepared to be called a fake liar and a judgmental bitch in general for having an opinion -- yes, even if it’s positive, so imagine how fun it was to disagree on something neither of us even made.

She is not a neutral party when it comes to abuse and harassments either. Despite being very anti-cheating, she stoutly defends the Sprouse brothers despite multiple women and outlets coming forward claiming they cheated on or abused their partners, claiming the sources are “crazy” or “jealous” or “unprofessional.” I have some pretty ironic in retrospect screenshots someone sent me of some of her rants but I won’t post them publicly here. What Jandy told me of her former victims was that they blocked her for no reason. She was nothing but supportive of them and they got too big for their britches and had other friends and abandoned her. I’m sure she says similar if not worse things about me for calling her out and cutting her off.

So yeah, it will be uncomfortable to unfollow, ghost, and/or block her. It might even be inconvenient because of the service she provides to this fandom. But please keep in mind that even the slight fear/dread of her shadow-banning or harassing you is a sign that she’s affected you, too.

If you really miss that one extra comment per chapter, hit me up. I’ve got a lot going on but I’ll make an exception for people who need that extra support as long as I can. For additional support, please see local and online organizations to talk to a professional or volunteer trained to help with emotional abuse, toxicity, depressive, or anxious thoughts like therealdepressionproject. Good luck and have a wonderful day.

#Riverdale fandom negativity #bughead fandom negativity #cw: abuse #jandjsalmon

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quartings · 2 years

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I ...didn't have a good time at all with Turning Red.

I know the movie's getting a lot of praise and if you do like it, I'll put the rest under the cut so I don't bother you. But for the few of you who also didn't like it, I hope this makes you feel less alone.

To avoid a worst-case scenario of giving away way more than I need to, I'll just say that as someone who grew up in Asia, this movie was relatable in all the worst ways.

I don't get why all movies about POC protagonists have to center around child abuse as a "quirky" and necessary part of the culture they're showcasing. As someone who's had to babysit a lot of kids with less than stellar parents, Mrs Lee's behaviour was all too familiar to me. And not in a "haha funny" way, but more like in the "this has deeply and permanently fucked up my friends and my brothers' friends on an emotional level and shouldn't be played for laughs" kind of way. I don't WANT to be reminded of being pressurized to get good grades under penalty of violence. I don't WANT to be reminded of being forced into childhood-consuming extra-curricular activities while the rest of my friends got to grow up normal and adjusted. I don't WANT to be reminded of being forced to sit at stuffy family dinners, and I don't fucking WANT to be reminded of being harassed by creepy, touchy, invasive family friends.

And the fact that they go the route of "Oh, you need to understand that your parents are abusive because they care and their parents were also abusive so it's fine!" just made me sick to my stomach. I've seen a lot of Latino Encanto fans joke about how painful it was that Encanto's message completely went over their abusive relatives' heads, and I feel like the exact same thing is going to happen for Chinese viewers now with this film. And movies like Coco, Mitchells Vs Machines, and the director's past work Bao all do the same thing of having the kid protagonists fully forgive their harshly abusive family just because they were kind of sad once, and it just really gets to me.

And so, I was just sitting in the theatre re-living my own past traumas, my friends' past traumas, and my brother's friends' past traumas, pretty much on the verge of my own actual anxiety attack (ironic, considering the themes of the film). And it hurt even worse to hear all the white people in the audience going "Haha the mom character is so quirky!!" and "Ooh, she's such a MILF!!". I have no clue what the heck is going on in Domee Shi's head, but I don't know why she's so hellbent on portraying possessive and abusive parenting as a wacky little privilege that white people should envy Asian people for enduring.

And I'm just... not looking forward to going to class and hearing so many of my friends go to me with "Omg! Did you see Turning Red?? You must have LOVED it because you're Asian too, right??" and "I wish I had an Asian family just like yours, that sounds like it would be so fun!!". Weirdly enough, I had to deal with stuff just like that from my white friends back in Asia too, long before this movie came out. At least those friends were understanding after I politely corrected them and explained my case, so I hope the same happens here too. I'm just glad that my two close friends who came to watch the movie with me had the same views and were sympathetic with me. If they also liked the movie and didn't get what I was going through, I would have actually started crying then and there from how alone that would make me feel. I can't believe a movie about accepting a monstrous side of yourself just made me feel even more isolated and like even more of a freak and a monster instead.

I just... this is why Kung Fu Panda 2 is one of my top movies of all time. Because it showcases all the loving beautiful parts of Asian culture without having to slap on a "LOL XD RELATABLE!!". Po's relationship with his dad is one of my favorite dynamics of all time, and the fact that they work hard to communicate through all their disagreements lovingly just makes me so happy. But because that movie doesn't have a human protagonist, it apparently fails at "representation" and so, shouldn't get the recognition that films like Turning Red are getting.

I'm not even going to bother making any comic about this, my day has already been awful enough. I'm just going to go watch a Kung Fu Panda or James Gunn project to feel better now.

#turning red #pixar #q speaks #rant #negativity

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