Looking for Renaissance Men : Reconnaissance :: Looking for Inclusive Men : Inconclusive

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googling “tyler hoechlin gay” nineteen minutes into the teen wolf movie

For the anon about the mahler earrings, they look like tiffanys victoria but I think they're a dupe

💀

we all know who loved gifting tiffanys.

Me: ya I was writing sohae2 today

The writing in question being I stared at my laptop for 10 minutes trying to figure out who in the relationship bites the other

Am I numbing?

I ask myself this question a lot.

When I use marijuana, what am I really trying to do?

For one, I don't know how to shut off my anxiety. It's not even anxiety in the way one thinks of anxiety. It's not that I stress out about things like losing my job or my apartment or other negative things that could happen to my life. When they say racing thoughts, they never specify that all of one's thoughts race--I have to run to Target this weekend, I'm hungry, I sure could go for some McDonald's chicken nuggets, I can't wait to get off work and watch that movie that I've been waiting to come out, oh man it's so windy outside, I wonder if it's going to be cold out this weekend, and on and on spin my thoughts.

It's nice to have some kind of ruler against which to train my mind. When I was off my brain drugs, I remember realizing my thoughts were racing (which I never would have been able to recognize without chemical assistance) and I used the methods I've been working on to get my mind to focus on sleeping instead of keeping me vaguely awake. I'd kind of started to master mindfulness and it was a relief, knowing that if I'd done it with chemical assistance, I could do it without.

I think I've spoken long and fondly about the effects of marijuana that aren't necessarily unique to me--cotton mouth, encouraging me to hydrate when I might just not; the munchies, encouraging me to eat when, again, I might just not. I know not everyone gets drowsy when high, but again, that mellow helping me recognize when I'm tired and just give in.

I know a lot of people imbibe extra chemicals to numb and escape, but firstly, I can voluntarily go days, without needing to imbibe; second when I do imbibe, it's like coming back into my body.

So....am I numbing? What am I numbing? What am I hiding from? Am I immune, unlike my father, to chemical dependence? What if the marijuana.....wasn't the problem, but instead.....the pharmaceutical anti-depressants....? Without those in my system--not even in a withdrawal kind of way--I got.....temperamental, like the womb donor. I definitely did not like it, and I did not know how else to make it stop. I was touchier than normal, easily irritated and frustrated by things like my cat's constant whining and crying for over an hour while I'm trying to be at work; and people calling in pissed me off when normally they're just annoying.

But the marijuana was no match for that hair-trigger temper and irritability. And I have not missed that part of my brain. I never, ever want to be like that woman. I wish I could just easily snip out that part of me. However, is it really numbing? Is it hiding, trying to escape, that I continue to use less than prescribed of a prescription drug?

Maybe I'm just not yet able to be that open and honest with myself?

I dunno, I never would have realized that my thoughts race if not for the first time I ever smoked. I may have circumnavigated learning to calm my thoughts by just using marijuana, leading to a situation where I don't need to learn; I can just use chemicals to numb.

I think a little chemical intervention can definitely help you see yourself and your world in a different light. Maybe you like what you see; maybe you don't. I really do appreciate knowing that there is a reality in which I can go straight to sleep without my thoughts whirling on and on. I'm sure if I had the time and the energy, eventually I could teach myself to sleep without chemical intervention. But self-control takes effort and energy. I'd rather devote what I have of those to stuff that really matters and is really important. I lead an incredibly charmed life to be able to fit my marijuana consumption into my spending money. Not to mention, I live in a world where I can just run down the street (in any direction) and I'm not even limited to smoking the plant itself; it's quite fucking amazing.

Anyway, now I'm just exhaustedly rambling and not coming to any kind of conclusion. I will say, the words of one of my professors in college will never leave me: I don't need to make excuses for everything. I don't want to be on the constant defensive with an excuse for everything. I practice every day to take responsibility for my actions. If I'm being irresponsible with marijuana, I want to be open to that (except using it at work; look, some stressors are simply not worth the energy; I don't use it for every hour of every day, I only use it on the insanely busy days and not to a point where anyone would really notice; I just don't get paid enough for the level of stress my job causes me when it gets busy like that). If I'm actually using marijuana to plaster over something or numb it or whatever, I just want to be aware.

I need to be aware. Just because it isn't destroying my liver; just because I'm not getting blackout drunk; doesn't mean that that potential doesn't live in my veins. I'm more intelligent than my father, more keen, more aware and curious and able to ask questions. That doesn't exempt me from a genetic predisposition to chemical/substance dependence and abuse.

I wonder if I'm not just.....over-thinking, maybe verging on.....not quite hypochondria? I've been dependent since I was about eleven, and I fucking know it, and I've never needed chemicals because I have creative and productive things to draw my mind away from my body. It's easy to dismiss my creative endeavors because they're productive, but maybe that's what I'm really hiding and ignoring to acknowledge. I don't need chemicals when I could just grind myself to dust; to go to work and get off work and continue working on things that matter to me, but work nonetheless. I can't really slow down because then, what might I have to face full on in myself?

Immediately, he wondered whether one might sidestep the inconclusiveness of morphology by subjecting the study of species and their evolution to statistical treatment.

"In the Name of Eugenics: Genetics and the Uses of Human Heredity" - Daniel J. Kevles

On the hydrogen storage properties of cast TiFe mechanically milled with an intermetallic LaNi5 and rare-earth elements La and Ce: The results of the study are still inconclusive, but there is potential for a new breakthrough in hydrogen storage technology. cast TiFe alloy is combined with an intermetallic LaNi5 and rare-earth elements La and Ce in a mechanically milled powder. The resulting material is then tested for its ability to store hydrogen.

“Be original.” 

“No, no. Be original, (but run it by us first!”) 

“You might embarrass yourself.” 

Abstract it from my chart

Abstract Non-linear Complicated Conundrum Inconclusive Rounded straight lens Too many questions Not enough answers Wait, wait, wait Laughing it off Hiding the pain Abstract it from my chart No clear picture No set rules Shrug Pass it onto the next

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I hate when I have a super vivid dream with an in-depth storyline and characters and wake up before the conclusion. I woke up this morning thinking, "Man, I really wanna know what happens, so I need to finish reading that book," only to realize that it wasn't a book and if I want to know what happens, I'm going to have to write it myself. SMH

Another inconclusive coalition meeting

Kathmandu. The ruling coalition has not been able to agree on the expansion of the cabinet. The alliance meeting held on Wednesday morning to divide the ministries for the expansion of the cabinet ended without a conclusion. The meeting held on Wednesday morning was also unable to reach an agreement after Tuesday was also inconclusive. The meeting was concluded at 3 pm on Wednesday. The meeting…

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VALID #valid #synonym #ingles #strong #powerful #cogent #weighty #sound #antonym #weak #invalid #powerless #unsound #unsubstantial #portugues #válido #forte #poderoso #cogente #pesado #sonoro #substancial

VALID #valid #synonym #ingles #strong #powerful #cogent #weighty #sound #antonym #weak #invalid #powerless #unsound #unsubstantial #portugues #válido #forte #poderoso #cogente #pesado #sonoro #substancial

Inglês: Valid Synonyms Strong, powerful, cogent, weighty, sound, substantial, available, efficient, sufficient, operative, conclusive. Antonyms Weak, invalid, powerless, unsound, unsubstantial, unavailable, inefficient, insufficient, inoperative, obsolete, effete, superseded, inconclusive. Português: Válido Forte, poderoso, cogente, pesado, sonoro, substancial, disponível, eficiente, suficiente,…

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boys for review! https://tiktoksthataregood-ish.tumblr.com/post/690219268981276672 https://tiktoksthataregood-ish.tumblr.com/post/689575405668188160 https://tiktoksthataregood-ish.tumblr.com/post/688307060074577920

Rating: Inconclusive

this is natural behavior for Boys! sometimes they just wanna Wander Around and it's very enriching to let them hang out around nature and be a little wild. not only that, but they are in a bundle, which means the colony have decided to take their urges to the trees instead of watching WWII movies or going to a gym or playing MMOs. Those are all equally healthy in moderation, but I'd say the touching of the grass is even better

If this is a wild bundle, they are just going on about their business and should be left to their own devices unless one or more of them is in danger.

but... If they are used to the indoors life, I'm worried. Because rivers are very dangerous things, and they could end up lost by the time they decide to get off their floatie. It also looks like it's soon to dusk in the video, and Boys may be nocturnal, but they also become secluded and confused by night time. It is a time where they are usually alone, or separated from the colonies

This bundle looks very well socialized, so I wouldn't say to worry about them exactly, but do not let your Boys do this without supervision if they've been raised in a city slicker lifestyle!! It could be very dangerous for them, and it would NOT BE CUTE.

if you want your Boys to be more accustomed to nature, I'd recommend a camping night, or going to look for cool sticks in a forest, before really letting them go wild like this. They can't fully depend on their instincts since a lot of their survivability is taught, due to being very social creatures.

This is natural behavior that should be encouraged, but also taught safely!

Britain Says 'Inconclusive Fighting' Continues in Ukraine's Donbas and Kherson

Britain Says ‘Inconclusive Fighting’ Continues in Ukraine’s Donbas and Kherson

(Reuters) – Inconclusive fighting has continued in both Donbas and Kherson regions in eastern Ukraine, British military intelligence said on Monday. Russian commanders continue to face a dilemma – whether to resource Russia’s offensive in the east, or to bolster the defence in the west, Britain’s defence ministry said on Twitter. The ministry added in its regular bulletin that on July 18, the…

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