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worldbuildguild · 2 years

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Syllabus: Feature Creep ( and how to avoid it )

Let me introduce you to a term from software- and -game development: Feature Creep

Feature creep is the excessive ongoing expansion or addition of new features in a product,[1] especially in computer software, video games and consumer and business electronics. These extra features go beyond the basic function of the product and can result in software bloat and over-complication, rather than simple design.

( Feature Creep: Wikipedia )

To sum it up in the context of worldbuilding and design: Feature Creep is what happens when a designer overloads their project with ideas, which ultimately ends up making the final design confusing. You'll often find that your design also loses its ability to communicate your ideas properly, as it drowns itself in its excess of inspirations and references. But what does this look like in, say: character design?

This is Luso from Final Fantasy Tactics A2. On the surface, the character is competently illustrated. Everything is very nicely rendered with a good sense of structure and a high amount of detail ( if you're into that ). The proportions are fine, the style is very clear. It is a nice drawing. But upon further inspection, we start to notice just how many features the design actually has: Armour pieces, complex patterns, numerous dominating shapes and so. many. props. The palette, while not immediately clashing is also incredibly confused, spanning from just about any primary colour in the colour wheel, all contrasting one another, making it hard for your eye to find a place to rest when looking over the design. If you were to take a look at the design and tell me what it was supposed to invoke thematically, what would you tell me? - Well it's a mage ( mage book ) that is also a knight ( sword ) but mostly its a warrior with some kind of special proficiency in keyblades(??), but also there are some touches of nature and luck ( clover, ladybug on the belt, green, patterned cloth ). You'd have a really hard time convincing me that the design is invocative of any one of its ideas. (If you were part of the art community back in the 2000s to 2010s you'll also definitely remember all the memes about the angel-wolf-demon-goddess-mermaid-dragon OCs and all the derivatives of that particular line of design. Some faultily called these the markers of a Mary Sue character. Though I'd argue that Feature Creep can show up in any well written character regardless. Even those who are made by professionals, who are well aware of what they're doing: like Luso, for an example ) Feature Creep is, however, a typical marker of a developing designer or young artist who want to explore multiple ideas at the same time. Morally, there's nothing wrong with that. You can make as many hybrid creatures as you want. It is all in good fun. But if you want to sell people on a design or a story, you're going to need to edit them down a bit.

Economy in ideas

Animated features and shows are probably among the mediums that approach their designs with the most limited amount of ideas. That doesn't mean their designs are boring though, oftentimes they're actually incredibly effective since the limited amount of ideas allowed in a design means that designers can pour much more care into integrating the ideas into the final design.

Let's take a look at one of the animation industry's latest greats: How to Train Your Dragon. When Dreamworks artists sat down to design the dragons for HTTYD, they decided to go against the current trends. The western hemisphere has long been plagued by samey designs, as the likes of Drogon ( Game of Thrones ) Draco (Dragonheart), Saphira (Eragon) and Smaug (The Hobbit), who has solidified the European take on the mythological creature into the cultural conscious. The designs in themselves are not bad at all, but when HTTYD suddenly took flight with its completely reworked ideas for what a dragon could look like - it was a breath of fresh air. For toothless the designers seemed to have applied nothing more than two main ideas to their design. A black dragon with anatomical cues from an axolotl but the mannerisms and certain facial features of a black cat. This design invoked a sense of familiarity. It was simple, iconic, slightly strange to those who hadn't been familiarized with the axolotl yet, and clearly communicated a sense of pet-like behaviour through its feline gestures.

Staying in the vein of feline creatures; Pokemon is perhaps even more restrictive in their idea economy ( at least for the most part ). Many of the first generation pokemons were 'merely' combinations of animals mixed with either elemental concepts, such as the many evolutions of Eevee ( Flameon, Jolteon, Vaporeon, etc ), or Pikachu, a Rabbit that bears electric symbols incorporated into its design.

For something slightly more complex we can look to Blizzard's Overwatch game. Where a number of desigsn are inspired by combining real life stereotypes of certain cultural-historical peoples or occupations ( cowboys, ninjas, DJs/musicians, arctic explorers ). One example of such is the centaur-hero Orisa. Which combines the anatomical features of a quadroped creature with a human half on top. But with an added idea of incorporating patterns and assets that have been debated to be of Baluba origins. A tribe originating from Central Africa.

As you can see, designers usually stick to around 2-3 main ideas and then pepper in little extra details that are at least adjacent to their main ideas. It keeps the reading of the character consistent, and you're not at risk of overloading your designs with needless elements. If you're looking to make a character that is actively trying to look confusing, of course you can throw as many ideas in there as possible, but for when you need your design to convey a cohesive read to your audience ( which is supposedly most of the time ) you will do well in picking only a few ideas and incorporating as thoroughly into your design as possible.

How to chose your ideas

There aren't any hard and fast rules as to why you should pick some ideas over the other. It mostly comes down to your preference as a designer and storyteller. I personally prefer following these three milestones, as they ensure that your ideas are relevant to your design and provide the potential for visually interesting designs. Pick those ideas that can provide the most thematic relevance The most obvious choice is that which relates to your design's main idea. An example for props: You need to make the prop looks modern to your audience. Therefore you chose ideas that incorporate smooth, sleek shapes into the prop's design ( reflecting the modern design trends of today ). Maybe you'll combine the soft, rippling shapes of waves on the sea with the shape of a chair or couch, to eliminate the need for edges that could make your seat seem "clunky" and 'out of style anno 2022'. Example for characters: Your character likes fish, therefore you incorporate a number of blue-ish greenish colours into the pallette. Maybe you even add a few 'fin-like' shapes to the silhouette or outfit. Pick the most interesting ideas Perhaps you're picking between two aquatic ideas. Let's say: Ships and Seamonsters. Which one do you feel provides the most potential for fascinating solutions to your design? If you're making a sailor-character, perhaps the Ships are more interesting to you. If you're making a mermaid, looking to seamonsters might be a pretty cool idea.

Pick those who contrast the most Humans -love- contrast! it brings interest nearly by default in anything from character design, to environmental concept art, storywriting and art styles. It makes us curious as to how things work and why they are the way they are. Which is ample ground for you to do some interesting worldbuilding or character writing. If you are to design a submarine, you could just make a submarine. But what if it was in the shape of a seagull? A bird that only enters the water for fish once in a while. Hell, what if your main character; a young scholar who is very much not comfortable being underwater, had slight bird-like features to really emphasize how out of their element they are. These are just three parameters which I use to sort my ideas. Sometimes I also do stuff for the hell of it, but for the most part I like to put a lot of thought into how my ideas contribute to the design. For the most part, I'll try to connect my ideas to the world and the story as much as possible to make the whole experience seem more cohesive. What you value in your ideas is up to you, perhaps your art style demands that you use certain ideas to stay consistent. Maybe you prefer designing with certain palettes or shapes. That's fine. No artist picks and chooses their ideas for the exact same reasons. Everyone has biases. But it is important that you are aware of your choices. Moreso important that you are aware that you don't squash too many ideas into a design. Remember, every idea is a good one, maybe it's just not always relevant in the context you got it in. So save the unused ideas in a note somewhere - it might become useful later!

Mod Wackart ( Donate ) ( Linktree )

#mod wackart #essay #character design #environmental design #writing #syllabus

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owlixx · 10 months

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What I Played This Summer

So, I kind of forgot that I had been doing something worth jotting down, so this is going to cover the entire last month of what I’ve been doing in video games.

- I’ve been trying to even remember what I’ve been playing since I beat the whole Kirby series back in January.

[That was very fun. Has also been fun playing Forgotten Land with gf more recently]

- For sure I tried to do Wario Land next but got burnt out on Wario Land 3 being longer than expected.

[Even just a bit of WL4 has been great. Looking forward to wario world because I played it as a kid. And Shake It as well. Might do all the wariowares too when I get there]

- I got a PS3 and a GBA since then.

[Spent a lot of time just farting around and fiddling with these guys, booting up random games]

- Basically, I had just beaten Minish Cap when Tears of the Kingdom came out, and then I had kind of been between games ever since beating Tears of the Kingdom.

[I did really enjoy Minish Cap despite having to use a guide sometimes and cheating fully on the final boss. Also of course really enjoyed TOTK even if I have some nitpicks like the dungeon cutscenes, lackluster sky islands, the rupee economy, weird control scheme, etc]

- I played Bulletstorm, War For Cybertron, probably some Call of Duty, Final Fantasy Tactics Advance.

[always wanted to play Bulletstorm as a kid and I think the writing decently holds up aside from the odd R word here and there. WFC I loved as a kid but now seems hilariously grey and gritty. FFTA is honestly really cool but missing some QoL stuff I’m used to in modern SRPG so I had thought of starting FFTA2 and I did, but only to the second turn lol.]

- I beat Sonic Frontiers.

[Its…fine. As a massive sonic fan, I’m not keen to ever replay this one but I did really enjoy the tone of the story, the writing, and my first few hours in the open world. I really hated the cyberspace levels, the mandatory minigames, and the monotony of it all. The boss fight music is easily the best part]

- I played a bit of Redfall as a joke, for like a week.

[Its just worse borderlands, and I’m pretty critical of borderlands even as a committed fan of it.]

- I had a friend over for a week and we beat Lollipop Chainsaw.

[Brilliant game. Tried to transition to playing the similar\adjacent Bayonetta but the writing in LC is too good]

- Twice I purchased around ten (each time) Vampire Survivors-inspired games and played them each at least a little before fizzling out.

[I think my most played was Rogue Genesia until the content well ran out. I did also enjoy Halls of Torment and Brotato]

- I bought a physical copy of Watch Dogs Legion for five bucks.

[There’s nothing…wrong with it, per se, it’s just less than the sum of its parts and I had a hard time feeling motivated to keep playing. I didn’t enjoy the profession system being tied to random collectibles. I did enjoy the base gameplay and the Legion concept, but it just made me want to play…]

- Assassin’s Creed Odyssey. And that’s something I want to talk about more in depth in my next post.

#sonic frontiers #Redfall #FFTA #Bulletstorm #war for cybertron #gba #ps3 #lollipop chainsaw #bayonetta #vampire survivors #watch dogs legion #Minish cap #tears of the kingdom #Kirby #wario land

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diedbutterflies69 · 3 years

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Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

#skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #bangchan smut #skz chan smut #bang chan imagines #chan fluff #bangchan #skz chan x reader

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carnage-scissors · 2 years

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I had a few insane thoughts that came together to create this.

This sums up Final Fantasy Tactics pretty well I think

For context: The image in the very back is from the video by Brian David Gilbert called 'there is a rock in my house'

#final fantasy tactics #fft #im sorry for this meme but i am right #this is how everyone ended up with the auracite

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calliopecalling · 3 years

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@aureliel asked on my last text post: “My impression of James is that he is just an honest guy. He has his morals and fights with tactic and skill - but never dirty. So why are the writers always setting him up to be distrusted? Only because he once worked for Camilla and he keeps a lot to himself? Maybe he needs to talk more about his feelings, but in action, what more can a man do that giving himself up for her on multiple occasions?”

I have a few thoughts about this. I think there are a few things going on that feed into her inclination to doubt him more than her other inner circle.

For one thing, the dude did shoot at her in their late-season-2 stand-off. He clarified later that he obviously hadn’t intended to kill her, and clearly she let him off the hook for that one, but for 6 months after she fled Dallas she basically had it in her mind that James had not only led Camila’s sicarios straight to her hideout with the tracker device in Tony’s game, but also that he’d then actually tried to kill her himself when she asked him to come work with her in the season finale stand-off. Maybe even worse than that was that he’d actually duped her, leading her to believe she was stealing El Santo’s coke back from him but actually he’d anticipated her doing that and had it somewhere else. Remember too that he was kind of a dick to her as she started gaining more and more of Camila’s approval. He’d accused her of “choosing Guero” while he’d “chosen Camila” and that she was just a silly girl who let her emotions get the better of her. Obviously Teresa saw through that comment and knew where it was coming from, but I think James was in fact jealous of her--both of her quick rise in Camila’s ring as well as her love for Guero (though the former would’ve been easier for himself to admit to). And jealousy is not a very reliable emotion. Jealousy can lead people to do stupid, spiteful things. All of these things were Teresa’s final impressions of James before she was off to Malta to set up shop. Meanwhile she’d known him for, what, 2-3 months before that? (Anyone have a better clue as to the timeline? I have this fantasy of actually doing an episode-by-episode inventory of the timeline but... that’s a time commitment lol.) Anyway, all I’m saying is that she’s had way more time to feel disappointed in him than time spent building trust with him.

For another thing, though, she has let James in in a far deeper way by 3x10 than any of the others. She sees him as more of her equal. Sure, she’s made it clear that he works for her, and not with her, though I think by the end of season 3 that line is becoming a little less clear for her. She knows that Pote will always unquestioningly do what she says. She knows George has as much to lose as she does from the business crumbling (after all, he’s more a partner than an employee himself). But James is someone who is always questioning her (she’s not wrong about that when she accuses him of it in 3x07!), always forcing her to be accountable, always making sure she’s staying honest. As they cross the line to lovers, there’s a lot more at stake for her in their relationship. (Isn’t it harder for most people to trust a lover than a bff? Like it’s just easier to over-analyze everything a lover does than a friend.) And her last “true love” betrayed her in a pretty huge way that left her with a ton of emotional scarring (letting her believe he was dead for, what, at least a month? again with the timeline, lol, which led to so much other trauma, followed by several drawn-out emotional reckonings) so I think she’s particularly vulnerable to the "when is the other shoe going to drop” mentality as she gingerly begins a new intimate relationship. And now -- obviously we’ve only seen a minute of season 5 so who knows how long they’ll draw this out -- here comes the second lover showing up out of nowhere after god knows how many months (?) who hadn’t been honest with her about why he’d disappeared! I mean, I can’t blame her TOO harshly for her somewhat hesitant perspective.

PLUS. Who knows how this will play out in season 5. But in addition to the losses she’d suffered when she first met James (the loss of Guero, the rape, the escape from Epifanio), and the ones she suffered during their acquaintance (all the times her life was in danger, the second loss of Guero, the third loss of Guero), there was also... the loss of James himself at the end of season 3. And then the loss of Tony. It’s going to be hard for her to let James back in, in my opinion. I hope they don’t draw that out too much as being about the CIA thing. But I DO think she’s going to have to figure out how much of her heart is available to anyone, specifically James, and the CIA thing might just be a convenient excuse. And finally, I think Teresa knows that James is a good person, and wants to be a good person, and came to her because he believes she is a good person, and she might honestly be afraid that that isn’t true anymore (that she’s a good person, I mean). And what would that mean for James’s loyalty to her, if his loyalty is contingent on her being the person who could do things “a different way”?

[As an aside: I want to quickly unpack the Kelly Anne betrayal, because the obvious “but what about” response to the above is that Kelly Anne really did betray Teresa in an obvious way and yet Teresa let HER back into her inner circle in season 4 without too much hemming and hawing. I think the fact that Kelly Anne really truly did betray her in the most obvious way that one can be betrayed in this business actually makes her safer now--because now everyone knows what Kelly Anne looks like and acts like when she’s a mole! Her “tells” are so obvious that there’s no way she could get away with it again.]

That about sums up my thoughts on that question. Hope it’s semi-coherent. I’m very interested to see how the show handles Teresa re-opening herself back up to James, and James coming to terms with the ways she’s changed, in the final season.

#I am just as sick of the is James trustworthy plotline as anyone else but I don't think that's where season 5 is headed honestly #and I do think it makes sense for Teresa's character to worry about him #even though we the viewers know he'll be loyal to her to his death #so as long as the writers don't try to mess with us by trying to convince US that we shouldn't trust him #which based on the sneak peek doesn't seem like the path they're taking #then I'm good with a little bit of healthy mistrust #gotta keep the slow burn going as long as possible #please though for the love of all gods and goddesses give us SOME satisfying jeresa moments #like at least two please but preferably more #queen of the south #qots #season 5 #my predictions #teresa mendoza #james valdez #teresa x james #jeresa #txt post #qots meta

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dwellordream · 3 years

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A Six of Crows Review: Kaz IV through Jesper II

Previously

Kaz IV is pretty gore heavy, which I’m not complaining about, though as far as interrogation tactics go, it feels like Bardugo just really had a hankering to write some eye trauma. I also feel like the pain of that would probably put someone in such a state of shock they’d be unable to speak at all, but whatever, this is a YA dark fantasy novel where teenage boys rip apart wolf jaws and tear out oculars, I guess we’re rolling with it.

You’d think the shock of nearly losing Inej would inspire maybe a modicum of self reflection in Kaz, and honestly his treating Jesper like his valet actually pissed me off on a visceral level, which, to be fair, is the most emotion I’ve ever felt while reading one of his POV chapters.

Thus far I would sum up my problems with Kaz’s character are this: my problem is not that Kaz is not likable or relatable. He doesn’t need to be either, he’s an amoral gangster. My problem is that he’s not terribly believable and he’s not terribly compelling.

I don’t think the wanton violence gives his character more dimension; if anything it reduces him further to a cardboard cut out of say, Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders. Bardugo apes a lot of gangster tropes with him but there’s no nuance or meat to it. He doesn’t fascinate me and I don’t care about his backstory or his future.

None of the characters in this book so far are hitting it out of the park, but I am much more invested in Nina, Matthias, and Inej than I am in Kaz, and that’s a problem, since the entire novel arguably revolves around him.

He is the antihero protagonist. He’s directing much of the action as the leader of the Crows. He should be reeling the reader in more. Instead it’s like a brick wall with more intestines slathered on it for edgy effect.

We do get some nice backstory and development for Nina in her second POV. I don’t have much context for the Little Palace or Zoya since I never finished Shadow and Bone, but Bardugo continues to do a decent job at developing Nina and making her feel both strong and vulnerable, as well as a sweet romantic at heart.

We also get some of her backstory with Matthias. I honestly find the trope of ‘we know he’s not quite as bad as the other war criminals because he doesn’t hold with rape!’ to be pretty absurd and despicable, but Matthias and Nina’s dynamic is arguably the only compelling relationship in this story so far, even if he’s a shit person* and she’s a sweetheart.

*Matthias is very particular about not being called a slaver. This, of course, is an important correction, as he and his fellow soldiers weren’t capturing grisha to enslave them, but to put them on sham trials and then exterminate them as part of the Fjerdan nation’s vile agenda.

Between this and the constant references to his blonde hair, blue eyes, and ‘impressive’ build… it’s hard not to think Bardugo was making some deliberate Nazi allusions. I don’t exactly applaud her for it.

I don’t have anything to say about Inej V other than that Inej’s account of her enslavement is heartbreaking and her and Nina singing together as she recovers from her wound is the only scene so far in this book to make me emotional. I wish more time was spent developing Inej’s friendship with Nina as opposed to her feelings for Kaz.

Finally, Jesper II evaporates the little goodwill I had accumulated from the Nina and Inej chapters tonight, because Jesper is literally a walking camera once more.

No development. No reflection or interiority. None. I would not have known he was even narrating this chapter if not for the header. It’s almost all dialogue. This is ridiculous.

#JusticeforJesper

#in review #six of crows #kaz brekker #nina zenik #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #matthias helvar

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 4 years

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I’m watching X factor 2018 and it was really good idea of Simon to make Lou a judge. Engagement of people who watch the show was insane and everyone liked Louis. Comparing his and Iada’s views he has in 10 times more. Funny to see how Louis didn’t resign contract but everyone thought he will. I’m so happy that he finally free it’s like I get something of my chest and now I’m finally can say I don’t worry. I hope he will sign a contract with good company I really do

You know, us Louies are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, since there’s no news of any new label yet. I always think about this quote of Louis’ from his Guardian interview:

“I’m sure every artist says this, but I do believe it. We’ve been through some dark times together and those things I’ve been through, they carry a weight, emotionally, on the fans as well. And I felt their love and support. I remember really clearly when I lost my mum, that support was mad.”

This funny post sums up being a Louie in a Larrie-dominant fandom. Tragic that this is how Louis’ fandom has become in 2020, through dint of label- and fan-induced hatred, but alas, here we are.

Realistically, I would be really surprised to see content before 2021, except for one more lyric drop merch before year’s end.

It’s been a really difficult year to be Louis’ fan, maybe the worst since hiatus. I’m heartened to see a lot of new Louies, but it’s really hard to watch Harry, Harries, and Larries behaving at their all-time worst— all of them now 100% on the side of Sony, against Louis.

Of course that isn’t Harry’s agenda— which is to achieve celebrity fame and wealth at any cost— but for Harry, Louis is unfortunate collateral damage.

Since there’s not much Louis’ fans can do about that (other than call it out), we feel useless standing on the sidelines. Louis’ words always mean a lot, but these words are even more fitting now: We’ve been through some dark times together and those things I’ve been through, they carry a weight, emotionally, on the fans as well.

I’m sorry if this post comes off sounding very negative. It’s what happens after seeing friend after friend bullied out of fandom or leave out of frustration, and people who used to post about “justice” now defending the worst PR tactics because of a fantasy.

#Larries #louis tomlinson #harry styles #17 november 2020 #Louies

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yurimother · 4 years

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LGBTQ Light Novel Review - Otherside Picnic Vol. 1

I have been sitting on J-Novel Club’s Otherside Picnic for far too long. This work is the only one from their recent slew of science fiction and fantasy Yuri light novels that I had not yet reviewed. Sadly, I was, as always, so caught up in all the other amazing Yuri coming out that it fell by the wayside for longer than I would like to admit, things were so much easier back when we only got one or two Yuri localization a year (have I made that joke before?)! However, the English release of the second volume is about a month away, so the time felt right to open the door and enter the Otherside. I was very excited about this work, as I enjoyed Side-By-Side Dreamers, another light novel by the same author, Iori Miyazawa, and praised its world-building and creativity. Unfortunately, Side-By-Side Dreamers was far too short and poorly paced. I hoped that Otherside Picnic, which has the advantage of spanning multiple volumes, would correct this issue. I am thrilled to report that the Yuri goddess has answered my prayers.

Otherside Picnic begins as its main character, Sorawo Kamikoshi, is about to drown. After venturing into a mysterious world, the Otherside, she saw a horrific creature, a Kunekune, which infected her mind and paralyzed her. However, she is saved by the appearance of Toriko Nishina, a beautiful and experienced adventurer. Together, the two young women defeat the Kunekune and thus become partners exploring the Otherside to find rare treasures. They sell these items to a woman researching the Otherside, Kozakura, for large sums of money.

The premise is excellent for short monster of the week style stories, or “files.” While each of these files is an exciting adventure on its own, Miyazawa masterfully builds on previous chapters, gradually raising the stakes and the abilities of Sorawo and Toriko. For example, while the two struggle to kill a single Kunekune in the first file, by the end of the volume, Sorawo can use her knowledge and skill to guide Kozakura to help her quickly dispatch four of the monsters. The scenarios faced beginning to escalate as well. They will go from fighting a single monster up to being separated and trapped in an illusion or else stranded with a group of soldiers defending their camp from attack. The pacing and organization of the story is terrific and easy to navigate.

The most engaging part of the light novel is the titular Otherside, a mysterious world full of danger, from horrific monsters to the deadly “glitches,” anomalies that destroy or alter those who step into them. The encounters the girls experience within are chilling and disturbing without having to resort to gross-out tactics. The monsters and many events are taken out of various online stories and creepypastas from the real world. Miyazawa takes these and mixes in some scientific and philosophical theories about fear and human recognition to craft one of the more intricate and fascinating world. However, the real strength of the setting is how the characters interact with it.

Sorawo is rather callous and cold, reacting harshly to others around her. Before meeting Toriko, she had no friends. However, her vast knowledge of ghost stories and the paranormal, as well as her intelligence and ingenuity, help guide her through the Otherside. She has a strange affinity with the other world, being drawn to it as much as she is fearful of it. Yet, its pull on her is nothing compared with that of Toriko’s. Sorawo immediately starts noticing her beauty, regularly commenting on it. As she and Toriko work together more, their partnership increases to a level of codependency. Sorawo does not lust after her sexually, but her reliance on Toriko and the need to be by her side becomes the driving force for her actions.

Toriko is almost the opposite of Sorawo personality-wise. She is kind and cares deeply for her friends, although she has very few companions. Her ultimate motivation in searching the Otherside is to find her old partner, with whom it is implied she was romantically involved, a fact that makes Sorawo jealous. She is more physically capable and confident than Sorawo and is proficient with firearms. While Toriko is not as attached to Sorawo as Sorawo is to her, she relies on the other girl to keep them alive in the Otherside and willingly puts herself in harm’s way to protect her.

Despite being almost total opposites, save for a shared avoidance of other people, Sorawo and Toriko are the perfect pair. Their abilities and knowledge complement the other’s weaknesses and mesh well together. Each one is willing to make sacrifices for the other, and they become something much more profound than friends, although, at this point, their relationship cannot be described as romantic. Despite the supernatural nature of their exploits, there are understandable and human conflicts between the two women. For example, Sorawo is jealous of Toriko’s old partner and she worries that she will disappoint Toriko. On her part, Torik has a tendency to put her wishes and quest to find her friend ahead of Sorawo’s needs. While not all of these issues are resolved in the volume, it completes a great arc for both characters and leaves stronger than they were in the beginning, as individuals and companions.

On a final side note, I want to praise shirakaba’s illustrations, though I do not usually rate or comment on the artwork in light novels. While there are only a few pieces, each of them is detailed with fantastic linework and heavy contrast to create stunning images. My personal favorite is an excellent “girl sits at expensive work station” image of Kozakura. I only wish there was an opportunity for shirakaba to provide more drawings, especially of the monsters. Shirakaba has some beautiful and creepy science-fiction creature artwork online, and it’s a shame that none was present in the volume.

Otherside Picnic Volume 1 is a brilliant work of science fiction. Miyazawa describes a horrifying yet enchanting world full of challenges for the protagonists to overcome. Each time they do so, the Sorawo and Toriko become stronger and more capable. The solid story structure and pacing helps keep the adventure moving at a reasonable pace and solidifies the physical and emotional growth the characters undergo. It nicely wraps up central conflicts and begins to peel back the curtain on the world and personas while still leaving lots of room for further exploration in future entries. I am eager to read more from this series and highly encourage you to check this one out.

Ratings: Story – 10 Characters – 7 Art – N/A LGBTQ – 2 Lewd – 0 Final – 8

Review copy provided by J-Novel Club

#yuri #reviews #lgbt #lgbtq #lbgtq+#queer #gay #horror #sff #science ficiton #sci-fi #girls love #wlw #anime #light novel #manga #gl

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seasaltmemories · 3 years

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End of the Year Review Collection

So my readings/media consumption for the past few months have been scattershot with not a lot individually to comment on so I thought I would group them together and tackle them one by one. So without further ado let’s start:

Schoolgirl by Osamu Dazai

After this title got dropped in comparison to my writing, naturally I was curious to check it out. And while I am usually not a fan of stream of consciousness styles, I found this surprisingly delightful. The plot is exactly what it says on the tin, a schoolgirl from 1930s Japan going about her day. But what makes it really work is how it so thoroughly captures this adolescence precociousness. Details show her father recently passed away and she often makes these dramatic statements about “goodness” and how evil she feels for going through normal growing pains. But then just as quickly she gets distracted by petty daily concerns. It’s the right balance of insight without ever tipping over into being too knowledgeable. I don’t know how much I would enjoy this type of style in a longer work, but as a novella it worked just right.

Under the Pendulum Sun by Jeanette Ng

This has been on my radar ever since March, but once I got my hands on it, I had trouble really getting into it. The premise is to die for: England discover Faireland and starts sending missionaries to convert the fae. Naturally torment for the arrogant humans ensue. Yet for all my love of mixing fantasy and theology together, I found myself 1/4 in and still waiting to get carried away. There was much less very confused and complicated discussions about religion and a lot more wandering around with vague cryptic foreboding, and I just had trouble being interested protagonist beyond a plot-twist I got spoiled on earlier. I never got to the revelation in text and I could tell it was meant to be a slow-burn of sorts. But I had a lot on my plate work-wise and so it just kinda fell to the wayside. One day I might check it out again, but I am not in a rush.

Night Sky with Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong

I would say I’m someone who appreciates poetry but just doesn’t have the mind for it. Still although I only read a few excerpts from this, I was immediately floored. Something about Vuong’s work just immediately clicked with me. The language he uses is very precise. For example, he’ll reference Greek or Christian mythology just long enough to take the exact image and emotion he needs before moving on. If you get the allusion it can be a one-two sucker punch, but the actual story and contents of the poem still feel uniquely his. And over time all these poems build an entirely new mythology of his life to mix together and reference. Add on themes of family, violence, and gay sexuality, and suddenly I felt finally able to understand poetry.

Brigandine: Legend of Runersia

So apparently this is a revival of an old strategy series from the PS1 days. I went in pretty blind since I was only borrowing a copy, but if I had to sum it up, it is like if you made Risk a tactical RPG. Aside from a handful of small, indie titles, my only real experience with the genre was Fire Emblem, so I thought I would try it out.

Anyway it reminded me of a lot of older games. There is a story in theory, but it mostly found through the guide that comes with the game. There are a lot of mechanics to keep track of as you cycle between nation expanding and individual battles. I restarted a few times and consulted some guides as I tried to get a grip on just what was the right strategy to take. But I had a lot of fun with that problem-solving element and having to figure stuff out on my own. Once you get going you pretty much fall into a predictable “pick a direction to expand in and do it,” but it provides a decent level of stimulation at a steady pace. I wouldn’t call it amazing but it scratched an itch I didn’t know I had for the genre while being different enough from what I was familiar with. I could see this as being a good bargain bin purchase.

#my reviews #ocean vuong #brigandine: the legend of runersia #osamu dazai #night sky with exit wounds

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fantasyresident · 5 years

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We are the sum of our deeds, not our names.

Ramza Beoulve, Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions

Philosophical Quote Of The Day

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beneaththetangles · 4 years

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Nice Shoujo Protagonist You’ve Got There…Shame If Anything Happened to Her

Jeskai Angel continues our Holy Week series on anime and disability by examining a condition that might quality as the latter, but which as he mentions, can certainly be significantly disabling.

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Shame is an extremely common result of being abused, and it can happen with any kind of abuse: physical, emotional, sexual, etc. Shame isn’t a disability, at least not in the usual sense of that word, but it is indeed disabling. It constrains one’s choices, paralyzes one to the point of inaction, prevents one from considering new possibilities, blinds one to the truth, and gets in the way of relationships. Of course, in ordinary everyday language, “shame” is a synonym of “guilt,” both words being used to describe a distressing awareness of having done wrong. This raises obvious questions about what I mean by “shame.”

Some years back, my psychologist, Dr. Geoff Weckel of Fort Worth, Texas, explained to me that there is a profound difference between “shame” and “guilt” as mental health professionals use those terms. In this paradigm, “guilt” is a feeling that says “I did a bad thing.” On the other hand, “shame” is a feeling that says “I am bad.” To put it another way, guilt is a negative view of specific actions one has committed, while shame is negative view of one’s very identity. Someone who feels guilty thinks “I shouldn’t have done such-and-such, I should apologize for doing such-and-such, I shouldn’t do such-and-such again,” etc. But a person suffering from shame believes that their fundamental nature is flawed: “I am a terrible person, my inner self is irreparably flawed.” Real and even imagined failings are regarded as proof of one’s own corrupt character.

I’ve read books and articles by various other mental health professionals, and they consistently define shame and guilt in terms similar to those my therapist used. Since I don’t want you to rely on a secondhand recollection of something I heard years ago, I tracked down some direct quotes. First, a 2013 quote from Dr. Brené Brown, professor of social work:

I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort. I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.

Second, a 2017 quote from sociology professor Dr. Thomas Henricks:

Guilt is distinguished by its focus on particular actions… Guilt, it may be recalled centers on improper actions – things done and undone. Even in its free-floating form, it focuses on failed actions to come. By contrast, shame centers on the self in its fullness. Guilty people regrets their moments of “deviance.” Shamed people, that they have become, profoundly, “deviants.”

Hopefully these examples suffice to clarify what I mean by “shame.”

Shame is a liar, hobbling its victims with false perceptions of reality. Shame is a voice in one’s head insisting at all hours of the day that one is dirty, not good enough, unworthy. Shame says that one never does anything right, and even if one does something right, it must have been from wrong motives. Shame says one has nothing of value to contribute, that one’s very presence is a net negative for other people. Shame says that one doesn’t deserve to enjoy good things and that one is unlovable.

With that typically long-winded intro out of the way, let’s…err…have a slightly less long-winded intro? I Refuse to Be Your Enemy, a fairly recent entry in the reincarnated-into-a-video-game subgenre of isekai light novels, opens with an ominous letter from fourteen-year-old Kiara’s nominal guardian Count Patriciel announcing her arranged marriage to the noble Lord Credias. This letter proves to be the last piece of a puzzle, helping Kiara connect the dots with the strange, recurring dreams she’s had as long as she can remember—dreams of being a different person in a different world. All the details add up and she deduces that she’s living in the world of a tactical RPG (e.g., Fire Emblem, Final Fantasy Tactics) that this other self was fond of playing in her past life.

Most importantly, she recognizes her soon-to-be married name “Kiara Credias” as the name of a villain who dies by the hand of the game’s protagonist: “I was a character in a video game. And even worse, I was an antagonist.” Being sensible, Kiara flees. Immediately. She takes a few moments to gather her meager possessions, then hastens to get away from the school her guardian had her attending. Naturally, book-protagonist Kiara soon winds up involved with game-protagonist Alan and his associates. Lots of fun and sweet stuff happens, so go read the book once you finish this article.

All this is relevant because Kiara is a remarkably well-written example of a character who suffered childhood abuse and now lives with the shame those traumatic experiences caused. In short, her mother died when Kiara was quite young, her father never loved her, and her stepmother hated her. Then her father died and her stepmother treated her like a slave for a while, before finally selling Kiara to Count Patriciel for a large sum of money giving her up for adoption to Count Patriciel. Her new guardian doesn’t treat her like a slave, but he does some pretty sketchy things, like force her to drink mysterious concoctions, train to fight with a dagger, and carry a vial of poison with her. Finally, at age eleven, Kiara goes off to boarding school to become a proper noblewoman.

I would expect such a traumatic background to leave serious scars on the person who went through all that, and at first, I was rather annoyed by how well-adjusted Kiara seemed to be. She appears smart, decisive, friendly, and kind. I suspected the author was just using a melodramatic tragic backstory to build easy sympathy for the otherwise emotionally healthy protagonist. Thankfully, first impressions proved misleading. Kiara is deeply traumatized by her past, and the story reflects that. However, like many victims of abuse, she doesn’t fully understand how hurt she is, and she has grown capable of appearing psychologically functional around others. As a result, the symptoms of her trauma aren’t immediately obvious.

Kiara’s burden of shame is no less real for manifesting in subtle ways. Indeed, the subtlety makes her shame more realistic! The story never explicitly says “Kiara was traumatized by abuse,” but it does provide an accumulating series of examples of behavior that accurately depict a person dealing with shame from past abuse. For one thing, Kiara feels almost pathologically compelled to prove her worth to the people around her—even if they already like her plenty well. She believes that unless she demonstrates her value to others, they will soon cast her out. Second, she expects rejection at every turn, even when it’s totally irrational to think her friends would suddenly turn against her over this or that. She fully expects they will cast her out the moment she makes the tiniest mistake. Kiara is under the impression that unless she is perfect, she will be rejected by others.

Finally, Kiara is nearly incapable of considering that anyone might love her, or even just care about her as a friend. This is dangerously reminiscent of tiresome tropes we’ve all seen before involving stupidly dense characters, but Kiara averts them once we remember her background. She lives with shame born of trauma inflicted through abuse. That means it’s eminently realistic that she would believe others can’t like or love her. This being a shoujo story, there are three potential male love interests, though only one, Prince Reggie, goes out of his way to express it to her. But in Kiara’s mind, there’s obviously no way that any of these guys could be romantically interested in someone like her, which leaves her sincerely baffled and slightly worried by their inexplicable behavior. To the reader, it’s obvious that the guys are treating her with friendly, and Reggie’s case romantic, affection, but Kiara, with her distorted, shame-wracked perspective, just finds it puzzling.

Kiara’s sad backstory isn’t merely a pile of tropes used for cheap drama: abuse left her with shame that is reflected strongly in the kind of person she’s become. As someone who grew up in an emotionally abusive environment, I find Kiara deeply relatable on all these points. I remember more than once feeling mystified and disconcerted by kindness from others. “Why are they so nice to me? I don’t deserve their generosity, and I haven’t done anything for them to have earned their favor.” I’ve lived with the belief that people cared about and respected me only so long as I proved my worthiness by being perfect all the time. Worst of all was God: What with that whole omniscience thing, there’s no way God could be mistaken about how bad I am, and since that was the only basis on which anyone could care about me, I concluded there was no chance God could love me.

Shame is a liar, a vicious non-physical wound left in one’s mind by the sins of abuse others committed. This intangible injury to the psyche is harder to perceive than many of the issues that we commonly associate with “disability,” but it is no less a hindrance to living life as one wishes. I can’t say for certain, but I strongly suspect that like more concrete injuries or disabilities, shame will never be *fully* healed in this life. But even while we wait for the resurrection, when our minds and bodies alike will be completely whole, partial recovery from shame is possible right now. I can say from experience that good counseling with an appropriate mental health professional makes an incredible difference. I’m much more capable of fighting back when the voice in my head spews cruel lies. If you or anyone you know is besieged by shame, please don’t give up. Remember that shame is a liar, cunningly twisting our thoughts so that we see ourselves and others in a distorted way. Take courage, seek help from licensed professionals, pray without ceasing. You are lovable (and loved!), and you deserve to enjoy good things.

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Beneath the Tangles recommends I Refuse to be Your Enemy!

#Anime #Light Novels #Christianity #I Refuse to Be Your Enemy!#Watashi wa Teki ni Narimasen!#Shame #Disability #Mental Health #Holy Week #Easter #Psychology #Sin #Abuse #Articles #Author: JeskaiAngel

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schraubd · 4 years

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Rise of Skywalker: Quick Thoughts

In keeping with the traditional Jewish Christmas festivities, I saw a movie last night. I actually managed to avoid most of the substantive discussions of Rise of Skywalker in advance, and what I did read sounded so muddled and crossed that I managed to come in with no substantive expectations. Now that I've seen it, I can say one thing with confidence: Rise of Skywalker is, without a doubt, the worst Star Wars film to have Wedge Antilles in it. Of course, that still makes it presumptively better than all the films without Wedge Antilles in them. Does it manage to hold that high ground? Here are my quick thoughts (*SPOILERS*):

I think the movie starts off shaky and improves as it goes.

The new droid gives off a real Portal vibe to me. Also reminiscent of Portal: the GLaDOS rig-up that Emperor Palpatine is attached to.

The almost complete omission of Rose felt like the producers were giving in to the most toxic elements of the Star Wars fan base, and I disapprove.

I was among those who very much liked the idea that Rey really was "no one" descended from nobody of consequence, and so I sharply disagree the decision to make her the Emperor's granddaughter.

More so than the original trilogy or the prequels, the new trilogy (is that what we're calling it?) feels much more like a fantasy story than a science-fiction story. Ancient artifacts giving rise to eldritch power and all that.

Even for a Star Wars film, Rise of Skywalker in particular badly fails what I call the "James Bond" test (the James Bond test is how early and/or how often the movie would end if the antagonists were remotely competent at aiming).

That said, did you ever notice how many Imperial First Order Last Order(?) troops died because they bother to ask questions before shooting? They're always yelling "freeze" or "show me your identification". Resistance fighters just blast people without giving anyone a chance to surrender.

The "hyperspace skipping" move in the beginning really strained my suspension of disbelief (even granting that I'm watching a super-futuristic Star Wars film). Much like the "hyperspace Kamikaze" move Admiral Holdo did in The Last Jedi, it feels too useful (even if dangerous) not to have been seen before. Also -- TIE Fighters aren't hyperspace capable, so how are they following the Falcon? And even if they are fitted with hyperdrives, how could they track it? Finally, the whole reason Poe does this desperate tactic in the first place is because they're being followed by a huge swarm of TIEs. But after a few "skips" they've only got two behind them -- they should be able to handle those with regular turret fire.

Speaking of suspension of disbelief, who exactly is crewing all those Last Order Star Destroyers? This is actually one of my least favorite genre conventions -- the big organization, seemingly all-but-fallen, having a giant secret army/base/fleet in a location completely unknown to everyone (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is positively awful about this). Where does it get logistical support? What were all those crewmen doing back when nobody knew where Exogol was?

Another genre convention I hate: the big bad villain with hundred/thousands/millions/billions of deaths on his hands gets a redemption arc, while meanwhile, hundreds of random and relatively innocent mooks (indeed, the movie goes to some lengths to note they're mostly conscripts kidnapped as children) are slaughtered without remorse or a second thought.

On the other hand, great job with gender and racial equality here: I heard plenty of female voices in the random stormtrooper death screams!

After watching the conclusion of the narrative arc, I have to say: I really wish they had told the story of the Thrawn trilogy from the old Timothy Zahn novels instead.

This is all adding up to a pretty negative assessment, so I will say that I felt like the movie ends up being greater than the sum of its parts. But I still think it's probably my least favorite of the New Trilogy. And that's with Wedge Antilles in it!

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/2Qjy3DG

#movies #reviews #Star Wars

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the-blue-sandglass · 5 years

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A SophBot’s Thoughts: Kingdom Hearts III

SPOILERS UP AHEAD! DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED THE GAME-

Here’s me summing up best I can my thoughts on a ten-hour game I’ve been pumped about for several years!

Two characters in particular will get their own post(s), as I have...things to say.

I love this game to death. The gameplay is smooth, there’s so much potential in battle, the graphics and soundtrack are beautiful, and beating the snot out of creepy hooded people has never been so much fun, at least in my eyes.

However, while I did enjoy the story overall, several things bring it down and can put quite a damper on the experience of the Dark Seekers’ finale. But first, I’ll start off with what I enjoyed story-wise.

Sora

Ah, Sora. Our good boi. One of the best bois.

Sora is arguably the character who’s written the best in the game - perhaps it’s a matter of screen time and being playable, but he ended up doing the most out of everyone (a problem on its own, but we’ll get to that when we get to it) - all while veering on the edge of despair.

Maybe I’m rather biased, as he’s always been one of my favourite characters in these games, but seeing him get up and fight again after that crap he went through at the end of DDD, and not only get back the strength he had initially lost but prove victorious was more than a prideful moment for me. His interactions with Donald and Goofy (for the most part, we’ll get to that bit when we get to it) were great and felt pretty natural and friendly, you feel the connection there. The idea that this lad’s also just barely holding on puts things into an interesting perspective...and makes that goddamn moment (you know the one) all the more heartbreaking.

You did wonderful, my good boi. You’ll be back. But that’s a matter that proves...problematic.

Worlds

Admittedly, the lack of Final Fantasy was disappointing. But the way most of the worlds were handled in the overall plot has a clear improvement that makes the story of each one a lot more investing. Holy hot damn, the villains have an actual reason to be there-

THE DAY IS G O L D-

Also...seeing these dramatic, edgy villains get torn to shreds by Disney characters is bloody glorious.

Never would one expect ‘Woody roasts Xehanort’ to be such a goddamn awesome search-

Skididdle, skadoodle, Xehanort. You are loved less than a noodle-

The Whole Rest

Since I don’t want this to be overtly long, here’s a list of other scenes I thought were-

-The reunion between the Wayfinder Trio (top notch, lads, tears all around)

-Most of the Roxas story (a bit more attention would have been nice, but still pretty good as far as I could tell)

-YEETUS VANITAS

-Luxord Overboard

-San Fransokyo in general (yes, I cried at BH6)

-Corona in general (those interactions! The dance in the middle of the square, YESSS-)

-CHOO CHOO, MOTHERF-

-Most of the Org XIII’s death scenes were handled well

-WHERE’S THE LAMB SAUCE, SORA-

-I’M ON A BOAT-

-THAT BIT IN THE KEYBLADE GRAVEYARD WITH EPHEMER AND THE KEYS OF THE FALLEN

-Eraqus and the Wayfinder Trio (brief as it was)

-Those bits with Kid!Xehanort (where did you go wrong, kid-) and Kid!Eraqus

-Most bits of the credits (the final cutscene will be discussed separately) were goddamn adorable

-That cliffhanger could lead us to...interesting places.

-And that shot when Sora’s saying how Xehanort’s caught up in the shadows, as it won’t save for some reason and I feel it’s underappreciated-

And then it alllll went WRONG.

Okay, maybe I'm pushing it a bit. But the story’s hardly perfect. Where to start...oh yeah, the beginning and problems that peek their heads out.

No bulli Sora!

I’ve mentioned before my...distaste for Yen Sid’s actions in passing, but let’s get into the start of things, and this doesn’t apply just to him in particular. But it starts with him - and arguably ends with him too, but it’s one of the things I'm gonna talk about in the next post.

I won’t discuss it too much but - wow, there’s a startling lack of tact for this traumatic event Sora went through, how long ago? I doubt it’s been long enough for the boy to be completely over it, as he’s clearly still hurt and affected by the lack of strength he has; even Pete pointing it out clearly stings!

Yet, literally everyone treats it as a joke. Which, I wouldn’t be so bothered by if Sora’s chill with it (like maybe a ‘Hey!’ and then a laugh)...but he’s not.

He’s almost always folding his arms or frowning and not saying anything while everyone just laughs at what’s basically him being stuck with a crappy position. For most of the game, Donald and Goofy are pretty good - but when this pops up, it puts a damper on it, at least for me.

Which leads me into...

DDD’s climax? What’s that?

Did everyone besides Sora, Donald, Goofy, Yen Sid and Young Xehanort forget about DDD’s ending? The fact that Sora nearly got turned into a bloody vessel?

Well, apparently!

As far as I remember, the only time the event’s really discussed as it is (not just ‘Sora lost his strength’) is near the start when Yen Sid’s reminding him of it even though Sora is literally the last person who should have to be reminded about it, LITERALLY OLD MAN HE WAS THE VICTIM OF IT-

Anyway, there’s that bit, and that one scene I joked about in Toy Box-

Well, no shit he remembers you. You only stalked him and tried to possess him. And then after that, it’s never really mentioned again? There’s not even a line like, ‘You’re no longer of use to us’ of any kind which makes the climax of DDD feel...well, empty. Hell, it kinda makes those parts where something bad happens to Sora (like when the asshat above yeets him into Verum Rex just to troll or when Marluxia uses ‘Sleep’ and never uses it again) feel like they’re cheap tactics to make the player go ‘Oh no!’. But yeah, story-wise, how does that impact the rest of III aside from Sora losing his strength?

Wow, as if it was just an excuse to have Sora be at LVL 1 at the start of the game!

OH WAIT.

THERE’S SO MANY GOOD CHARACTERS, USE THEM-

One that’s not as big to me anyway, but still worth noting. A lot of characters in KH3 don’t really get the screentime they should. They just sorta show up, and do what they have to. It works fine...! It just...feels kinda underwhelming not to see more of them.

Looking at the way Terra was handled, as I leave you with a question; after he gets brought back into his own body...what is he allowed to do?

Granted, I won’t complain that characters from Twilight Town and the Disney worlds get more to them - it makes you believe that Sora and his squad are friends with them now, but it would still have been nice to have seen more of characters like Aqua, Ven, TERRA, Roxas and Xion...though those last two might be helped in the new DLC.

I hope.

But, I doubt the DLC could help the next two cases out much...oh yes, I refer to Kairi and Yen Sid. And surprise - Xehanort will be getting his own in regards to his actions and how...our heroes respond.

Down the rabbit hole we go!

(sorry if this was structured a bit weirdly, my first time doing a post of this type-)

#kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 3 #kingdom hearts 3 spoilers #sora #kingdom hearts sora #kh #kh3 rant #kingdom hearts 3 rant #kingdom hearts 3 discussion #Donald duck #kh spoilers #soph bot's thoughts #yes this is kingdom hearts related #post 1

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eggoreviews · 4 years

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My Top 25 Games Advent Day 12 - The Witcher III: Wild Hunt (#14)

"Hatred and prejudice will never be eradicated. And the witch hunts will never be about witches. To have a scapegoat — that's the key."

The Witcher III and I have had a very rocky relationship over the past couple of years. There was a lot of fighting and a lot of problems I ended up having with a game everyone else hailed as masterpiece. It was only recently, with some patience and a lot of convincing myself to give it another try, that I finally saw its value. And oh boy, do I value it now. So before I keep comparing my attachment to this game as a relationship like a weirdo, let’s delve into what made me change my mind about a game I was so vehemently neutral on for so very long.

When I started The Witcher, I just could not get into it. Several hours in and I was struggling with the various combat and crafting mechanics and finding I was too underlevelled to do much at all, and focusing on all this background noise meant I barely made it into Velen before I realised I was forcing myself to continue. So I stopped, for near enough two years. And then, out of nowhere, I came back and I was gone. I was sucked immediately back into Geralt’s adventures; of his thrilling quest to locate Ciri and destroy the Wild Hunt, the richly interesting side quests and characters that come with them, the challenging, often intriguing monster contracts that always came with a twist. I was absolutely taken with the world and everything that filled it and it turned out that all I needed was time away. So when I finally jumped back into completing each and every plot thread, whether as huge as dethroning the mad tyrant of the Wild Hunt or as tiny as winding a peasant’s lost frying pan, it kept me engaged and left me wanting more until the very end. I know I just recently called the first Dragon Age the Lord of the Rings of gaming, but I think that title may in fact have to go here instead, from pure story and character quality alone, not to mention the excellently crafted and detailed fantasy world they inhabit.

Speaking of characters, I would say they were the aspect of the game I most appreciated. Matching the game’s perfect tone of knowing when to balance serious dialogue and epic battles/setpieces with humourous characters and sometimes utterly wild and hilarious side quests, the characters Geralt encounters on his journey are as rich and interesting as they are real and faithful to the world they live in. Of course, the main cast of Geralt, Yennefer, Triss and Ciri are consistently brilliant characters throughout the game, growing and changing through the experience and through the choices you make as the player. Geralt’s fraught relationships in particular as he works through a rough patch with his beloved, Yennefer, and chooses whether it would be better to reconcile his relationship with Triss instead is a well-written, realised love triangle that did the unthinkable; it made me care about a romance plot. And a straight romance plot too! How??

Alongside them come the side characters; while even the lowly peasant quest givers deserve a mention here, every named side character is pretty much unforgettable. Dandelion, the hapless bard who can’t keep it in his pants, Djikstra, the hilariously slimy criminal who keeps a strenuous friendship with Geralt, Zoltan, the friendly dwarf who’s ever your helpful companion and Ves, my rebel wife who I wish got more screentime (seriously I love Ves so much). Vesemir as the father figure to everyone, the sarcastic, bitter but still in some way caring Lambert and the suitably powerful Eredin and Imlerith as central villains. All incredible, all consistent with the world and it makes it all the better. Onto the world itself, this is another example of a not-quite-open world that fills every single square inch of its land and sea with something to explore or conquer. Whether or not you explore the war-torn marshes of Velen, the bustling city of Novigrad or the fraught isles of Skellige, there’s no end of content to satiate you aside from the main questline. New side missions to pick up, treasures to discover, monster nests to destroy, places of power to increase Geralt’s strength in your chosen area, whether that be vanilla combat, your magical signs or your expansive alchemy capabilities. The world and what inhabits it truly compliments the richly developed gameplay mechanics that make Geralt so engaging and diverse to be, as there’s so many different ways to approach the challenges the game throws your way. And nothing quite matches the thrill of knowing you’re Geralt of Rivia, masterful witcher and slayer of giant monsters. It’s the purest form of escapism in every sense of the word and I adore absolutely every aspect of this game that makes this such a flawlessly unique fantasy experience.

On top of all this, The Witcher III contains the best minigame I’ve ever encountered in anything: Gwent. The act and quests for hunting down a full deck of Gwent cards, the tactics and amount of unbridled fun you can have just playing this card game on its own is dizzying in itself. Counting alongside this Gwent related questlines where you can do anything from playing innkeeps across the world to entering into high stakes Gwent tournaments, all to further your skill and continue to collect unique cards, is brilliant fun and endlessly satisfying. If I’m honest, it’s a damn shame I can’t get ahold of a real Northern Realms Gwent deck because I would be all over that and I would absolutely play anyone at it.

To sum up The Witcher III as a whole, I would call it the definitive fantasy role-playing experience with one of the most well-realised protagonists in all of gaming. I haven’t quite got round to playing through the expansions yet, but you bet I’m gonna and I massively recommend this to anyone who enjoys fantasy. You’ve got a real classic waiting for you in The Witcher.

Standout Moment Award: The battle of Kaer Morhen is, for lack of a better word, just epic. With the fortress as a setpiece, the foreboding Wild Hunt relentlessly marching forward towards you and having near enough every character you’ve met so far gather to help you in your fight was incredible and a great catalyst for the game’s upcoming climax. It’s totally reminiscent of LOTR’s battle of Minas Tirith for all the right reasons. Standout Character Award: Geralt of Rivia. I know, massively obvious choice, but as I said, Geralt is one of the most well-realised protagonists I’ve ever played as. He was so brilliant a character, I’m genuinely scared of how they’ll change him for the upcoming Witcher series. Big, big shoutout to Ciri, Dandelion, Triss, Ves and Lambert too though, who all also could’ve taken this. Tomorrow: No. 13; a prank gone horrendously wrong, local cannibals dismayed.

#gaming #eggoreviews #best games advent #the witcher #the witcher 3 #witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #ciri #witcher geralt #witcher ciri #witcher yennefer #yennefer #witcher dandelion #dandelion #triss merigold #triss

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