"The unintended family sacrifice"

A perhaps controversial theme I love that I've never seen talked of is how, no matter how loving or not, all these conservative families rooted in patriarchy are nevertheless the root of their daughters' (future) gender essentialist (generational) trauma, and the only escape from the harm of their (father, mother, eldest brother) ownership is their death and/or marriage. And the second is controversial still, because it relies on moving that power to someone else.

Daenerys is the more obvious example. Death frees her once from serving her father, but if we are to be honest, from the expectations of her mother as well, who has already given her a role of wife in the service of the family interest - and of her elder brother - from the moment she was born.

Her remaining family and patriarch is abusive, and though frightened by the beginning of it, her unwanted marriage ironically removes her from that power and gives her a start of agency. Ultimately, his death that does pain and grieve her also permanently frees her for all. As a motherless widow, she would have been returned under his power if she rejects the Dosh Khaleen, as she has not vouched her place elsewhere. Only by having no man to belong to she can finally belong to herself.

But where it gets controversial is where it comes to a happy, loving family like the Starks which I previously addressed in a different post.

Ned Stark loves his daughters, and could even be called an indulgent father in some instances. But he believes in the traditional order of things, and his wishes regarding the gendered role Arya has in life is clearly spelled out. Catelyn loves her daughters, but she is likewise conservative, and she settles a likely future miserable marriage for Arya to further the interest of the head of her house and eldest brother (as Catelyn has done herself in her youth and hence sees nothing wrong with).

The deaths of Ned that traumatizes and devastates her culminates his set in stone expectations. The deaths of Catelyn and Robb break the terms of her unwanted betrothal. There is no one left with the authority or emotional obligation to comply to. She loses everything, yet it is the only way a girl in her society will be able to look to the future with both the burden and privilege of her own judgement to rely on.

For the Rest of my Life

It's not the end. Tech wanted to smile, Tech wanted to laugh, Tech wanted to make it, but he knew it wouldn't last. Bad Batch spoilers from new episodes.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Plan 99. Tech was the fastest thinker, and he liked to think he was the smartest. "But it's you, Echo." He smiled, he'd never admit it. He knew he wasn't the strongest, "It'll quite always be you, Wrecker-" Tech spoke without a doubt in his mind. "And Hunter," He thought of his brother, "Please don't dwell on me," He thought of his brothers, he wanted to smile. They made him so happy. He only hoped he had made them as happy as they made him.

Plan 99. The first plan they ever made. Rule number one, never leave a brother behind. Plan 99, leave a brother behind. It was the first plan they ever made and it was the only plan they'd never followed through. The only plan they never used or ever thought of using. They were soldiers meant to die but they never thought they would. Arrogant in their youth, they were a team a perfect family but ever sense the Empire, they had started to fall apart. Perhaps Tech was joining Crosshair, or perhaps Havoc only willed four brothers, and he was simply trading places with their lost brother. Either way, Tech knew, it was time to go.

Tech felt a sense of honor to be the first brother who followed through all plans, or at least, he wanted to be. He wanted to be prideful. He was a soldier carrying out his duty: Protect his family. But he wasn't prideful, he was scared. He was thinking of Omega and missing Crosshair. He was worrying about Wrecker and Hunter. He wasn't scared for himself, he was scared for his family. He loved them so much, he never wanted to be without them.

Plan 99. Tech took aim, he took the shot. He thought of home, a promise spoken by brothers, he thought of Hunter's smile, of Wrecker's laugh. He thought of where his life would end, his brothers close but not close enough. He thought of his family grieving and he wished they wouldn't. He never wished for them to grieve, not over this, not over him.

In their youth, late at night they'd craft broken songs and never to be broken promises. Tech finally smiled and sang an old song, "If I could love you for the rest of my life, I would,"

I do,

I do,

"I do-"

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

If I were to die before you, I'd crawl from my grave and back to your arms, with no other thought than you on my rotting mind.

in celebration of 394, in the arms of an angel (even the devil knows how to pray)

check it out now!

(T, togachako, 1099 words)

I enjoy the In Death series a lot. It’s very fun to read but for the love of God I will pay a million kisses to whoever can get J.D Robb (Nora Roberts) to stop writing Eve interact with characters who are victims of rape and sexual assault/abuse. A lot of times those characters end up killing their abusers or are “in the way” of Eve identifying the killer. For example I recently read Brotherhood in Death and Vengeance in Death, also kinda Purity in Death.

All it does is shows the hypocrisy of Eve’s morals. She seems to have a very hard time understanding that some people’s form of Justice is having their abuser dead by their hand. That is good enough for them. It’s not that she has to agree with it or support it, she can’t cause she’s a cop. But she seems to have a hard time understanding it at all.

All we get is everyone around Eve being like “no Eve you killing your abuser is different! Those other guys who killed their abusers are in the wrong, you’re not.” Even though in the grand scheme of things one can argue her killing is exactly the same.

Also she comes across as rude, unsympathetic, and sometimes heartless. Not because she’s “standing for the victims” and often times because of her job it makes her hunt down victims and stand for the people who victimized them in the first place. However, what makes her worse in my opinion, is the fact that she doesn’t really offer any kindness or sympathy. Just “why didn’t you go to the police” or “it’s your fault you didn’t go to the police” which is ironic because 1) them killing their abusers is sometimes the only reason their crimes get brought to light and investigated and 2) with her (spoiler?) background with Homeland Security she should know that not all organizations deemed to protect and serve are trustworthy. What can be said to a victim of their abuser is powerful enough to just call up the chief of police when they get accused?

My other thing is that Roberts writes Eve as a character who comes off as so deep into the patriarchal bargain (in simple terms a ‘not like other girls girl’) that she is very misogynistic when dealing with women who step out of her schematic of what a woman should be. (This also extends to her friends). Which makes sense in terms of her job, her position but makes her unlikable when it comes to cases where women and their pain are the forefront. I suppose that’s what Peabody is for.

Eve is not my favorite character of the series, she is a good character in some regards. When I read cases like what I hope I outlined above it’s like really hard for me to brush past her (what I deem) character flaws.

This Goodreads review of Brotherhood in Death by reader “E” pretty much sums up my thoughts more eloquently.

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1545230948

Belphegor - In Death

Do you suppose I am to forgive him because he is dead? I'll heap his grave with curses, if that can be of avail to punish him.

Anthony Trollope, from Can You Forgive Her?

"Are you and Roarke going to the ball drop?" "Oh, absolutely. If we both suffer extensive brain damage in the next twenty-four hours."

J.D. Robb, Obsession in Death

MEMENTO MORI

"Weightless" by Whale Bone - From "In Death" (2022)

Death Note AU where hbomberguy makes a five hour long video about youtuber Light Yagami that's initially completely unrelated to the murders (Light would probably plagiarize or have really unhinged right-wing political takes if he was on youtube)

but halfway through he reveals that while researching he stumbled upon evidence that Light might be behind the Kira murders, and then spends like fourty minutes explaining the concept of a shinigami, an hour explaining how he thinks Light used one to commit murders, and then another hour explaining Light's ideology and why the concept of criminals being inherently evil is flawed

He finishes the video by addressing Light directly and telling him that he (Hbomberguy) had his name legally changed before uploading the video, to something that only he knows, making it impossible for Light to kill him

Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?

Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".

My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.

I redownload this app for one day once every maybe two months and unfortunately I’m rewarded every time

Woman at the zoo: Why do they look so sad? 😔

Sign literally 10 feet away: