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bearbonespdf · 2 months

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so i have this, ig now ex, friend who is also my ex boyfriend. right now im kinda coming to terms with the fact that he was? is? abusive. we've known each other for about 4 years now, dated for 2 of those, and broke up about 9 months ago. we've gone through a lot together, including a major traumatic event that involved him being called an abusive boyfriend. this has added to my... hesitance to call him an abuser.

he has hit me a couple times, which we talked through and he didnt do again. however he would bite me pretty often and pretty hard, and wouldnt let go when i asked him too. i used to beg him to stop but he'd (paraphrased) call me dramatic and to get over it. he'd also insult my appearance, personality, and intelligence pretty often. he would yell at me for things i couldnt change (ex: forgetfulness from adhd) and when i tried to explain that he'd tell me i was just making excuses. he would also compare me to our shitty ex friends whenever i did or said smth he didnt like. i had to change the way i spelled the word "ok" (i used to spell it "okay") because he would get mad at me for not being considerate of how he thought "okay" was disingenuous.

but despite all of that, he wasn't horrible to me all the time. we were best friends for a long time. i also contributed to our arguments, and he's said that i traumatized him too. i have friends who tell me that he's definitely abusive and that none if its my fault. i want to believe them but it just kinda feels like wishful thinking? he always told me that i have a tendency to avoid responsibility for my actions, and idk if thats what im doing? i have some other friends who are still cool with him despite knowing all of what i detailed above (and some more lol) and say that they understand why he's upset and why he did what he did. i think the friends who are on his side (which i hate saying, i dont really think its a "sides" situation?) are trying to explain his side of the story and feelings in the matter to the people on my "side".

anyways, this whole post is sparked by the fact that i just found out he blocked me. idk for how long, but i blocked him back. im scared, im stressed, i feel guilty but also kinda glad? i was planning out how to break off our friendship already, but i wanted to end it more amicably. i didnt want to block eachother, i was hoping to stay acquainted at best and maybe leave room for friendship again further down the line. when we both were changed and healed. im writing all this down to avoid a panic attack, but id also appreciate any thoughts and/or opinions anyone has on the matter?

#it took me 30 minutes to write this post and i felt nauseous the entire time lmfao #bear growls #irl shit #tw abuse #vent post #friendship advice #mental health #romantic advice #i guess?#lmao why cant shit just be normal and uncomplicated #im too funny and hot for this #help please #long post

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inkskinned · 9 months

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months

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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus #but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it #and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book #Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE #though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for

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candyje11yfish · 4 months

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my uty shrine that is mainly starlo (i am going absolutely insane)

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gunsatthaphan · 1 month

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the incident // the aftermath

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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months

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Fernando 2012 Chair Lore (source: me)

So I've been thinking a lot about Fernando sitting in this particular chair in the Ferrari garage in 2012 for [redacted] reasons:

Originally I just wanted to find more pictures of it for reference, and then went down a rabbit hole of 2012 pictures, trying to figure out when exactly the chair came to be. There's so many pictures of him in it, and it's so funny to me to imagine them hauling this super villain chair all around the world for him. And so now I'm obsessed with the evolution of it:

Pre-Chair - Australia to Bahrain:

He just had this little stool, well I should say big because it somehow still manages makes him look small. Clearly not comfortable; to paraphrase @sweatyflytrap, it's not conducive to his inner Shakespeare villain monologues

The Chair Appears - Spain

He suddenly now has this, aforementioned, super villain chair. Several things, why is it like this. It looks like a sim chair almost ngl. And then the weird plexiglass support is confusing me, like where did they get that. It furthers my narrative they just had this chair that they couldn't put in a car so they put that clear bottom on it. Anyways yes good, now he has somewhere to brood

The Chair Evolves - Silverstone

Look!! They gave him a booster seat!!!

The Chair is Now Here to Stay :)

I downloaded a truly horrible amount of pics him in this chair, so now you all must also look at them >:)

*he still had the chair in 2013, but I think they took it away from him in 2014 :( Is nothing sacred in this world??? I hope he got to take it home hahaha

#i now have a psychosexual relationship with this chair #and im also just obsessed with the range of it???#theres an equal amnt of pics where he looks like a hot evil villain and then also ones where hes all curled up on it cutely #the co-stars to this post are really all his different sunglasses and the sexy button up fireproofs #this was actually like a true derangment post #irdk what came over me and caused me to make this but it is very important lore actually and i care a lot about it #im just curious about the origins still #like theyre suddenly like in spain 'here is a present for your home race'#the upgrade in silverstone is still killing me. ik its to make it more comfy but like...its literally a booster seat im sorry #but yeah fernando is so real in these. i too would sit in this chair all the time #okay now stay with me bcs this is just vettonso pilled BUT #the difference btwn him and seb in their garages is so funny to me #seb was always sitting on the cabinets like curled up on them lounging on them kicking his legs over them like a kid on a counter etc etc #and then fernando just has a fucking bond villain chair #and you wonder why i ship them so heavily. scoff scoff #this is just a ref post to draw him and seb together on the cha- huh what wait who said that? what was that huh that was weird #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #*would be so fucking funny to tag this as lore #fa14 #we do a little bit of f1 #catie.rambling.txt #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

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welcometogrouchland · 2 years

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for the drawing suggestions; maybe hunter with a trans flag or the collector?

[ID: a four panel comic strip featuring Hunter and The Collector from the owl house, set during king's tide. The first panel shows Hunter (with an exaggerated, tearful expression of fear) on the left while the collector floats on the right and smiles. They're both looking straight ahead. Text next to hunter reads "just saw uncle get gooped", while text next to The Collector reads "the one who gooped him". In the next panel, the collector looks at Hunter and says "so, a fellow he/they I see?. The next panel shows The Collector in the Foreground as Hunter looks back at them over his shoulder, before turning around in the next panel and exclaiming "I GUESS?!". The background of each panel is red. End ID]

Magnus, what if I told you that I combined both aspects of your request in the most obtuse way possible, all because this concept would not leave me alone? What then? (Click for quality I made poor choices with this canvas size)

#the owl house #toh #hunter toh #the collector toh #SORRY. SORRY I JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY #(in all fairness it is funny i just. didn't do the prompt you actually requested.)#i tried drawing hunter in his lil golden guard cloak but instead of white it was the trans flag #but every sketch turned up like hot garbage and i was viscerally unhappy with posting any of them #im all fairness this took a lot of tries as well but i think it's at least better #i don't think I communicated the collectors personality very well? but in all fairness i was watching the season finale post-hoot #where dana said part of the collectors inspiration was fucked up lil haunted dolls #and that image possesed me when i was drawing his face #it's okay it's fine it's just a little comic it's not biggie #ALRIGHTY reqs have been attended too. they've been attended too a week late but hey. cut me some slack I'm stupid

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riverrunscold · 21 days

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Since we're sharing youtube comments, I wanted to share this underrated one

#watcher #watcher entertainment #disappointed but not completely surprised #i haven't watched them in a hot minute and i think this situation made me realize why #all the content is too perfect now. maybe even slightly too long. i say this as someone who loves long videos #i watch retrospectives on shows ive never seen or actively dislike and love every moment of it #but sitting with the silenced of ghost files is just boring now. which i hate to say but it is #there hasn't been any really funny bits in a while either. and the jokes that they do on the set feel not super authentic #that's just me though #im worried they made a bad business decision and it's gonna hurt them. and the situation isn't super serious so i enjoy laughing about it #i really think i was into watcher for a hot minute but sometimes it feels like im slogging through a video just to get a glimmer of #what i used to love #which is super depressing xD

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boobookiss · 1 month

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hey so

*Femmes your darkiplier*

#darkiplier #i wanna be very clear this is not celine!dark #this is damien dark he is just feminized now #not that feminized... this isnt as funny or silly as i wanted it to be but i was like god i cant not make him butch. im sorry #he would take inspo from celine w the black lipstick if he did go girlmode tho #myposts #i think i made them also just too hot. this is rlly lacking the prototypical darkiplier sillyness of this era #but this is the image they would WANT to portray so its fine it fits #also he obviously still has the ill fitted suit. of course. it can never be changed #dark having ill fitted suit is a canon event #this ask is silly jklghkfhf #thank you for it #markiplier egos

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faunandfloraas · 17 days

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It is kinda funny seeing people talk about Seungmin lately because he definitely has gotten more bold and confident for sure. He's also just getting opportunities to be perceived as an individual on his own as well for the first time in a while but it's still jarring to see people be like Aw he was always such a quiet goodie two shoes little nerd and it's like...... he was the one to leave and seek out his own vocal coach and blatantly talk about it, which of course lead to I.N and Lee Know also doing the same, he was the one to go on bubble and tell off sasaengs who used to camp outside their old dorm for invading members privacy but also because it effected other residents and staff at the complex, something that i'm certain upper management wouldnt have been happy about, and he wasn't curt or nice about it either. like he's never actually been a wallflower, he's always had a pretty strong backbone and seems to stick to his principals, its not really new.

#even silly shit like bringing up drinking even tho staff has clearly told him not too #like yeah its silly but its still sticking to his guns of being like we arent actually children anymore thanks #the food thing too like in an old 2 kids room he said something about not being able to eat on his bday bc they were filming so evidently #there was a moment in time when he caved to the shitty diet obsession kpop had but ever since hes never really said anything like it again #instead hes telling everyone to eat well and reminding people to have dinner or lunch every other day #even the comment about growing his hair out but then being like lol the stylist probably wont like me saying that or whatever #and like the yeah im going to the gym but im not lifting. dont expect me to bulk up. im doing it for stamina<< that made me cackle #bc i did see people on twt being like but what if seungmin got buff tho omg hed be so hot 🥺 Well him bein buff isnt what this is about #so he went and made sure people were realistic. not everyone needs to be noticeably cut yk #idk maybe bc i watched most all the skz content all the way through #and now i go back and gif stuff i notice patterns more easily than if youve been here for longer and havent watched older stuff #for a while- maybe? idk its just funny but i also see takes a lot and have to stop myself from going No <3 #anyway this is my obligatory insane ksm tangent of the week. see you in 5 minutes.#🐶

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thegirlsarethriving · 2 months

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just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline

#undertale #hlvrai #hlvrai2 #benrey #tommy coolatta #papyrus #benry #hlvrai benry #sans undertale #sans #undertale sans #undertale spoilers #i loved Papyrus so much and the whole time i was playing i was like hmm he reminds me of someone...? TOMMY. HE REMINDS ME. OF TOMMY.#i played pacifist but i saw how if u kill every1 n spare Papyrus Sans tells him every1 else is on a vacation bc truth would be too hard #file under: lies Gordon would tell Tommy if anything happened to Sunkist or his dad Gman #we wanna protect Tommy but on the other hand. the horrors r everywhere & Tommy go ham with a gun (he's terrified & acting on pure instinct)#(even tho Tommy has definitely faced his share of horrors in contrast to how Papyrus's loved ones try to shelter him from bloodshed)#i wanna write a paper psychoanalyzing Sans and Benrey in comparison to each other SOOOOO badly #it's been a hot minute since i last watched hlvrai (have seen it at least 4 times but not recently. did watch bbvrai live tho!)#im so extremely tired rn so i can't form proper thoughts :( but like:#they both have unfathomable otherworldly power and knowledge of their respective universes #but u wouldn't know it bc they're presented as just some chill guy who likes to make jokes and Vibe man #sike! they're a being of elderitch levels of power #they both act in accordance to game code but Sans can control parts of it (can see the timeline) while Benrey is much more subject to it #in some ways they are the antithesis of each other's motives but also contain the same vibes (all-powerful guy laidback n funny final boss)#Sans is judgment but doesn't interfere with the timeline. Benrey takes action that's “i knew this was gonna happen”#Benrey is fought as the final villain whereas Sans is arguably the final hero fight #anyways THEIR VIBES ARE BOTH SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk if they'd be besties or mortal enemies #they can bond over being “unserious” (but they both take their true jobs very seriously. security guard and judgment bringer respectively)

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godmademewithoutarms · 10 days

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I just now noticed the bondage bar in the catboy photos jesus fuck.

#im not shaming them for the bar I'm shaming myself for not noticing until now #sorry was too busy staring at dan #shes hot I'm gay next question #i tried posting this like 5 minutes ago but tumblr rejected it so if u see a double before I do no u didn't #okay but how long has this gif been in my camera roll I do not remember it being there #i don't even know where I found it #whatever it fits (and it's nightmare on elm street)#funny story when I first saw this photo it was when I opened Instagram in first period one day. in class. first post on my feed #dan and phil #phan #amazingphil #phil lester #dan howell #daniel howell #danisnotonfire

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flustersluts · 21 days

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ngl i do think that some of you can get a little too lost in the sauce with the adjectives when horny talking. there comes a point when youre talking about how my dick is going to be absolutely emaciated that it stops being sexy and starts being very, very funny

#not a real example but some of the shit i read makes me chortle #not in a bad way like im not kinkshaming its sort of just funny in a vacuum #but yknow all dirty talk is roleplay blah blah blah like in the right context this shit can be very hot #its just also a little silly sometimes but thats fun too #flusterposts

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todayisafridaynight · 8 months

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