#im one of those people who really likes to see the same story
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Now that the final SoKP episodes have passed thru my eyes... Things I miss from the novel:
* Sorry but Jiang Xuening should have killed You Fangyin's murderer with her own hands.
* Jiang Xuening becoming obsessed with Xie Wei's cooking, such that she loves to quietly hang out in the kitchen with him whenever there's a break in the scheming. It's their safe space.
* Jiang Xuening going from being in the palace and part of the target/victims of the rebellion in Life 1 to being one of the financial backers of it in Life 2 and accompanying their fighting forces as they move up through the country as Xie Wei outsmarts the emperor & Xue family & Lord Pingnan's forces at the same time. Spending her 2 years away building the capital needed to help spearhead the rescue of the princess and then go to fuck up the emperor who sent his sister a letter to end her life for the benefit of the country.... (chef's kiss)
* The glorious revolution and making the royal family kill each other to save themselves in order to demonstrate the type of people they are
* Jiang Xuening moving into Kunning Palace at the end, as basically the unofficial minister of finance. She ended up in the same place at the end, but hearts & minds are changed and so the result is different
* Jiang Xuening putting the pieces together that the princess died in the 1st life due to her pregnancy & the emperor cutting ties (intrigue!) Team Fuck The System helping her safely give birth to her son, who she loves despite his origin. Our fav lesbian never has to get married to another dude and can just chill with her son, the cabinet of ministers, and her Ning Ning (with psycho husband in tow, but hey nobody's perfect 😂). Using her power to spread schools for women's literacy with Xie Wei terrifying the detractors into submission.
* When they try to use the Jiang family in the capital to threaten XW and he's like, so what? I was gonna pay back those bastards next for Ning'er so you're saving me time lmaaaaaaoooo
* Speaking of which tbh I prefer the lack of a last ditch bandaid on the Jiang family relationship. She's let all of the pain of the past go and isn't personally seeking to take anything away from them in this life... but she is just done with it. Dad is nicer but he's let his wife behave like this and has been mostly hands off. Feels sorta like Story of Minglan to me - letting the favoritism & emotional abuse happen while playing nice guy. In both novel & drama, he spends years not protesting how Jiang Xuening is cast as the troublesome, uncouth, inferior model. But then the drama decides to rehabilitate them. (Though to be fair, even the drama was half-hearted on this 'wash', cause at the end she's mentioning they're not close and in the last scenes the parents are with the sister and Ning'er is with her found family.)
Improvements in the drama:
* I liked that we got to see Jiang Xuening tell multiple people that she loves XW before she gives him her answer. The angst of it being uncertain what conversations she's having with the princess & ZZ, the risk that she's going to abandon XW for being a hot mess... it made for good dramatic tension in the novel. But for the ROMANCE and creating a sense that the feelings he has are truly returned... It makes the ship better.
* The relationship that FL and ML had with the fake Xue Dingfei was richer. He was a standout for me.
* Yan Lin had a happier ending. He really stole my heart in this 2nd life and like Jiang Xuening I felt no need to see him haunted by his vile actions in another universe. It was emotionally satisfying in the drama to see him at peace. You got us all rooting for him.
* Consolidated the Lord Pingnan plot! We really didn't need to get into their factions and introduce more antagonists.
* Consolidated the You Fangyin romantic interests - no need for a marriage of convenience with 1 dude and then Xie Wei's buddy also carrying a torch.
* I felt like the drama gave Zhang Zhe more personality and I did find it delightful when he was "fighting" side by side with Xie Wei.
* Xue Shu (the Xue daughter) felt like a more developed, fully realized antagonist.
* As much as it "sings" in the narrative to have her end up in Kunning Palace with power in the government at the end of the novel (that was brilliant)... maybe emotionally it spoke to me more to see her initial wish from the start of her rebirth fulfilled. Her original reborn goal was to avoid reentering the palace & exit-out of everything to have a quiet life of peace. None of that power ever made her happy.
* Marriage scenes of the otp thank uuuuuuuuu
* No and actually.. After her royal marriage in the 1st life she definitely doesn't need another big celebration. And with her messed up family relationships and his dead parents... Them doing the marriage ceremony all on their own, cause it's another pact between them, makes a lot of sense and I dig it.
* The reverse callback of whispering while she's waiting for a kiss to say "I'm yours" instead of "get out" 👌👌👌
#story of kunning palace#cdrama#spoilers#im one of those people who really likes to see the same story#adapted in different medias#its just fun
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Been seein some rather cold takes about Daisy lately…
I’ve seen some people say that she has no personality outside of fanon, but that’s just not true. There is a very very common misconception among the fandom (at least that I’ve noticed) that if a character doesn’t appear in a “mainline” game, then they have no personality. But I’d argue that the spinoffs actually offer waaaaay more in terms of looking into character personalities. And no, I’m not talking about the RPGs ala M&L and Paper Mario as those are obviously full of personality (and Daisy isn’t in those). I’m talking about the Party, Kart, Tennis, and other sports games.
Yes, Daisy hasn’t appeared in any mainline game since her debut, but she’s been in nearly every sports game and her traits, stats, abilities, victory/loss animations, and various other tiny details add up to her personality. The fact that she’s nearly always yelling or just speaking really loud in general (noticeably more than any other character), the fact that she constantly feels a need to say her name and make herself known, how she loves flowers and considers even a small patch of flowers worth protecting, how she’s easily bored by tasks that don’t excite her and isn’t so reliable for them. She tends to jump around a lot, and spin and dance around when she’s excited! She’s apparently a rather fast runner and that is considered her specialty! These are all traits that are displayed in the spinoffs, and there’s probably soooo many more that I just can’t remember right now.
Now, I do think her tomboyish nature is probably fanon, as I don’t really remember seeing anything to show that she acts that way in the games. I think people probably think she’s tomboyish due to how loud and energetic she is. But hey, there’s plenty of fanon for just about any character from any fandom out there. And what’s so wrong with that? Isn’t the whole point of making fanworks to expand on the framework already provided by canon? If we want to stick to what’s actually “canon” then nearly everything the fandom has created would have to be tossed, because there really isn’t much to work with. Fanworks and fandoms thrive on what fans can create based on the canon work, not just sticking to it perfectly.
It’s fine if you think the “fanon” Daisy outshines the “canon” Daisy and you dislike that. But to say that she has no personality aside from fanon interpretations just tells me that you have a very narrow idea of what counts as “canon” in an already rather simplistic world. The Mario games are very simple and straightforward without much consistent lore that actually makes sense cohesively, but the characters are what keep everything tied together despite that. The characters are nearly always consistent, and that includes Daisy. Even when the setting is completely different and some random new villain shows up with some random new power source to steal or species to torment, our same well-known lovable characters will be the center of the story and that’s what makes it fun!
#devin speaks#super mario bros#princess daisy#i mightve gotten a bit too personal with my views of canon vs fanon but i still think it needs to be said#people who argue over what is considered canon in a video game series are so funny to me#especially a series like mario that has expanded soooo far from its original premise#its different than a show or movie since most shows will finish their main story before delving into spinoffs#most of the mainline games are literally just bowser kidnapped the princess and mario has to save her#very few of them offer any insight to personality of anyone#that isn’t to say theres none at all but i still think the party kart and sports games offer waaay more#of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions and if you dislike daisy or think shes boring then whatever you do you#i am simply sharing my opinion as well :)#sorry time to be salty real quick#literally the entirety of waluigis personality comes from the spin offs but no one talks about him???#he is literally in the same boat as daisy but i never see anyone saying they dislike him for his ‘fanon personality’#really makes you think#people rag on peach for ‘having no personality’ too but hers shines through the spinoffs as well#and even the rpgs!! shes actually in those and has multiple voicelines and cutscenes and people *still* say she has no personality!#i know this is about daisy but gosh mario ladies in general are treated rather poorly unless theyre eye candy#im glad rosie debuted in a mainline game with a clearly given backstory spoon fed to the player so she doesnt get this treatment lol
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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my masks
hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.
im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great.
lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is.
unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.
the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.
ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield
anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum
when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned.
later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.
HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.
anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’.
when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.
one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’
so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?
my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)
from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept.
the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.
eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.
lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.
this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.
the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.
a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual.
fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist
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streamer!ellie pt.2
summary: i hated the other one of this that i made, so REMAKE TIEM!!!
warnings: miiinor sexual content, shit talking, gay people 😒
authors note: heheheh ples don’t flop this time..
- during her faceless days, she opened up a po box so ppl could send her things, and she made an amazon wishlist and she unboxed stuff on stream 😍😍
- one day she was unboxing a giant box of cat toys. string, those little feather stick things, even that weird automatic flapping fish thing (that she secretly loves and taped to her back one time)
- she was playing with this one toy that was a little fishing reel, and it had string and a little fish on the bottom. she went on and onnn about how shes a self proclaimed “fishing master” while garf chased it around, letting out little meows and growls of frustration.
- eventually, she lost her grip and let go of the pole. she bent down to pick it up, forgetting that her face would be in view. thus, the chat started blowing up.
ewwwbruh: FACE REVEAL
ewwife: EW WE CAN SEE UR FACE
ewwife: JUST THE SIDE BUT WE CAN SEE YOUU
ewssidechick: her nose looks so rideable…
- she got distracted petting garfield, and didn’t realize anything until she stood up. she was getting tagged over and over again on twitter, blurry pictures of her face (curtesy of the shitty webcam) circulating through her subreddit.
- “guys. im gonna erase this from ur memory…” and she literally held up this goofy ass hypnotizer pendelum and started fake hypnotizing everyone like “that never happenedddd” “you don’t know what i look likeeee” “that was fakeeee” “chat that was not reallll”
- and everyone literally js went along with it and pretended it never happened. like ppl were tweeting about it and everyone was like “huh??? what are u talking about bruh??”
- she did the same thing after falling off her rainbow unicorn scooter 😞
- one time she revealed that the “ew” in her username stood for her initials, and everyone was making the most horrendous guesses. elliam willace being the favorite one.
- “guys, my name is not edward wilson??? i am…not a man”
- shes gotten into so much drama…multiple notes app apologies have been issued via her instagram story.
- people would ask her opinions on other streamers, and she’d literally just be like “…i have no idea who that is.” and people would get so MADDDD but homegirl is literally just blatantly unaware
- or she would know , and would literally be like “they’re honestly super annoying and i would rather kill myself than watch them but whatever floats ur boat ig!”
- she played that “womp womp womp womppp” sound effect on her soundboard afterwards.
- SPEAKING OF. she abuses that soundboard sooo much. its so obnoxious and annoying like I SWEARRR!!! she’ll tell a horrible pun and play the crowd laughing and cheering sound effects while literally no one laughed.
“guys. whats the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament??”
“…live streaming.”
(crowd cheering sound effect)
“nooo thank you thank you, you’re all too kind, really!!”
- meanwhile chat was dead silent.
- every time she gets to choose her own name on a game its some dumb shit like "jizzmaster" or "chris fucker"
- “it appears you have entered innapropriate content.” “OHHH LOOK AT EPISODE LOOK AT THESE CORPORATE BIGWIGS TRYING TO CONTROL THE LITTLE MAN???”
- she just ended up naming him “chris phucker”
- like when she played episode on stream and made up really annoying voices for all the characters and made her character look like an elderly man, and made the love interest look like you 😍😍
- she messes up sm on games when she streams normally, but when you're there? she is LOCKED THE FUCK IN. sitting there so focused the entire time just to show off
- whenever she randomly goes silent she just starts SINGING. it's either nicki minaj or some fucking fnaf song
"IS THIS THE THANKS THAT I GET FOR PUTTING U BITCHES ON???"
- speaking of, her favorite fnaf song is def “stay calm” cuz she loves saying “hey kids. Nice to eat ya.”
- bought one of those "i paused my game to be here" tshirts…ironically. you refuse to let her wear it in public
- beefs w kids on fortnite sm... she has definitely gotten banned for saying she was gonna bomb a kids house or fuck their mom 😞
- every time she plays a game, she'll literally sit there and watch an 8 hour long video about the lore. she'll plop down on the couch and watch it like a movie
"did you know everyone actually thought that fnaf one took place in 1993, but it was actually 1992?"
- she definitely had you sit next to her when she played through fnaf because she was lowk scared the entire time whenever she heard you walking around the house while she was playing she'd hear footsteps in the hallway and be like. WHAT THE FUCKKK
-she'd have you right next to her, laying your head on her shoulder and messing with her free hand. if you fell asleep, she would be sitting there slapping her hand over her mouth whenever she gets jumpscared bc she doesn't want you to wake up 😞
- sometimes, while she streams , she plays one handed games and lets you sit and draw on her arm for fun. even got you a whole set of those skin markers so u could go ABSOLUTELY HAM. she got one drawing you did that said “r + e 4eva” tattooed in ur handwriting…such a sap
- she loves watching fan edits of herself...AND OF YOU. she'll be on her burner account with a whole collection on tiktok of edits of you.
ewwsbiggestfan: shes so bad i want her to hit me w her car...
- speaking of. imagine her using that account to make shitty capcut edits of you like
- shes ur biggest fan ongod
-WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC OF “fans”…what if i made a completely new origin story for streamer!ellie and reader. what if they were both streamers….
- OKAY SO BASICALLY.
- you had started streaming about a year before ellie did. butttt, you two did very different types of streaming.
- you weren’t very into like, SERIOUS video games. sure, you played some stuff, like animal crossing and roblox and the sims, but nothing more than that.
- that wasn’t what you were streaming though.
- ever since you were younger, you had been wayyyy into…literature.
-by literature i mean fanfiction. heaps of it.
- actors, anime characters, BOOK CHARACTERS, you were in DEEP
- sometimes, for fun, you used to read them out loud in stupid voices. when you were alone, or with your friends, it was very entertaining
- that’s when you got the idea to start streaming it. if it could entertain your friends, and you, whos to say it wouldn’t entertain other people.
- well, it definitely did. in your first year, you hit 10k followers. people loved you. theyd make edits of you, send in requests of fics for you to read, everything.
- a while later, ellie started gaining more and more popularity. out of all the incomes of fame, fanfiction was the most. abundant!
- one day, you got a request to read an ellie x reader fic. at the time, you barely had any idea who she was, but you decided to just go with it 🤞🏽
- “who the fuck is elliam willace???”
- the fanfic was definitely very…graphic!
- “your hips rolled onto her thigh, her slender, tattooed hand palming at your waist. ‘you’re doing so good babe, fuck.’-“ “GUYS. ISN’T SHE NOT ON MUTE RIGHT NOW???”
- you couldn’t help but giggle the rest of the fic, feeling a nagging heat in your core. you didn’t even know who the girl was, but if this fic was accurate, someone would have to sedate you.
-“im actually. gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure. GUYS. who is this woman…is she real… if she is. things are about to get WICKED.”
- not very thankful to you at the moment, she was very real. apparently, you and her were streaming at the same time, and your followers raided her stream telling her she was reading about you. her curiosity was obviously piqued, and why would she NOT join the stream?
- creeperewman: im definitely real!
- the text on your screen literally made your stomach fall into your ass. you stood up and legit just walked out of the room, camera still on. was she there the whole time???
- creeperewman: aww 😞 where’d she go she’s so badddd
- you eventually returned after a minute of calming yourself down, and low and behold, she gifted you 100 subs and followed you on instagram.
- she was definitely very real!! and that fanfic was…lore accurate. to say the least 😊
- after you two started dating, the two of you would often show up on eachothers streams. ellie, teaching you how to play cod, and you, reading with her.
- she secretly loves reading the fics people write about her and making fun of them, and every time you stream with her shes “subtly” hinting that you should read about her
sitting there pulling on her collar, looking away like “gee, wonder who you’re gonna pick today” with the worst fake laugh ever.
- “ellie can barely ride a scooter, idk why she’s in the mafia rn…” “you fall off ONE TIME and all of a sudden you cant ride a scooter. bullshit.”
- she makes fun of all the dumb pet names like “babygirl” and “darling” and randomly calls you them and bursts out laughing
- you still read those fics when you’re bored sometimes. and ellie MERCILESSLY makes fun of you for it
“yknow, if you missed me that bad, you should’ve just told me.”
#streamer!ellie#ellie williams au#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x f!reader#ellie williams x black!reader#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams
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hi! I have a request, I've never really done this before but I'll give it a shot. so my request is that Charlie is tasked by heaven to watch over a very special human soul via a device that is like a full 360 VR kind of setup and this soul just so happens to be Alastor's immortal wife (he didn't know she was) whom he thought had died with him during a bad event and wound up in heaven but she didn't and She stayed the same since the 1930s like her looks stayed the same and her love for Alastor stayed too she never once tried to move on even when her new friends in this time tried to get her a guy but she just refused still wearing the wedding ring her gave her
I hope it's not too much to ask it can be changed to whatever you see if you have full creative control over it!
thank you for your brain anon
theres a couple awkward POV shifts in the story and im super duper sorry about that D: im not good at those
An Eternity
alastor x reader (angst)
TW: reader is female, reader gets a lil drunk and drives but shes fine(i do not condone this pls dont drink and drive im so serious), yearning goes ouchie ):
join my discord!
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Alastor rarely, if ever, talked about his time alive. He saw it pointless; a waste of time and energy. How could it benefit him if somebody else knew his history? If anything, it would only open up weak points. And, being an Overlord, he couldn’t afford that.
The only hint of his past was a band on his finger that he never took off. Even after decades in Hell, nobody saw him without it.
People often asked, of course, because how in the Hell did the Radio Demon get hitched? Even in life, he was probably just as unusual and off putting. These questions were always met with a dismissive wave and a laugh, but anybody who knew him—which wasn’t many, truly—would recognize the strain in his voice as he brushed them off. Whatever the story was seemed to only grow more painful with time.
He was deep in thought, humming absently as he trailed through the hotel. He ended up meandering by Charlie’s room, which was cracked open. He took this as an invitation to let himself in, cheerfully grinning as he saw the girl sitting on the edge of her bed looking extremely confused.
“Hello, dear!” He announced himself, standing up straight and fixing his bowtie with one hand. “What does this afternoon have in store for the Princess of Hell?”
“Heyy, Al,” Charlie responded, still frowning at the contraption in her hand. It was a rather bulky thing; an unappealing piece of new technology, Alastor decided. Still, he loomed from behind Charlie with a curious bend in his neck. Her shoulders were stiff, and he couldn’t tell if it was from frustration with the thing in her hand or discomfort at him watching her.
“What is that peculiar thing?” He finally asked, since Charlie made no attempt at explanation. She seemed too focused to really pay him any mind.
“Something Heaven gave me to watch some curious soul they can’t control,” She murmured, fiddling with a couple buttons and knobs. “They’ve got me doing some ridiculous things. I mean, some human soul shouldn’t even concern me. But, they promise these favors will help with my hotel.”
Alastor hummed in response. He of all demons would recognize a manipulation tactic when he saw one—convincing a powerful demon princess to do your chores and promising to help her desperate project in return seemed like something the angels would do. He didn’t care one way or another, as long as Charlie’s naivete didn’t get in the way of his own goals.
He took a few steps back when Charlie stood, seemingly finished with setting up the box. He grinned, amused, when she pulled it over her head. It wasn’t the most flattering thing, and pretty bulky on her face. She looked ridiculous, honestly.
“Modern technology,” He sighed dramatically, leaning down onto his cane as he continued to observe her. “Only getting uglier.”
Charlie didn’t respond to his comment, looking around at what Alastor saw as nothing. She played around with the settings again, and adjusted the straps on her head again, before looking around again. She let out a successful sounding “hell yes” before pulling a remote of sorts from her pocket. She pushed on a joystick.
“What are you doing?” Alastor asked plainly, the building curiosity finally becoming too much. “Why do you have a box on your head?”
“It’s like…” She began to explain, trying to think of how to make sense of it to him. “Like… imagine you were looking through the eyes of somebody else, but still standing in the same spot..?” Her voice tilted at the end, unsure of her explanation.
Yeah, no, Alastor had no clue. But he dismissed it as unnecessary, as he often did with any technology he couldn’t understand.
“I’m seeing… Earth, I guess,” Charlie explained more. “Following around this girl.”
Alastor was only partially listening, humming quietly to himself as he just observed. He wondered if he should just leave—nothing interesting was happening. He was curious to see what antics Heaven was pushing on the Princess of Hell, though.
“Wanna try?” Charlie offered, lifting the headset up away from her eyes. Alastor immediately scrunched his nose up and narrowed his eyes.
“And look as ridiculous as you? Hah! No thank you,” He sat down on a chair near the wall, leaning against the back of it. He threw one leg up over the other. Charlie shrugged in response, and pulled the contraption back down.
Alastor sat for a while, absently thinking about what he wanted to do later as he waited for something to happen.
“Oh! Hold on,” Charlie suddenly said, causing Alastor’s ears to straighten to attention as she reached up and pressed a button. A holographic projection appeared out of nowhere, manifesting through some strange magic. “Forgot I could do that. This is what I’m seeing in here.”
Alastor stood and walked closer, leaning forward on his cane as he studied the projection. It seemed like some kind of bar. He mused at how different modern bars looked from the speakeasies he would frequent during his own life.
“What heavenly task are you doing in a bar?” He joked, trying to find something interesting in the projection. It just seemed like generic bar business. Loud, flirtatious women and boisterous, over confident men. That, at least, was the same from his day.
“Like I said earlier,” Charlie explained, looking around the room. The projection seemed to follow her movement, and Alastor recognized that he was basically seeing through her eyes. How curious. “There’s some… soul they lost control of. And they want me to report to them about her.”
Alastor was very curious to see what kind of soul broke from control of literal heaven. He watched rather intently, leaned forward against his cane to watch the projection.
Charlie turned another knob, and the sound of tacky pop music and loud chatter began to emanate from the bar scene. Alastor wasn’t a fan of newer music, but he was often forced to listen anyway in the hotel lobby.
“Is it possible to turn down that dreadful noise?” He complained to her, announcing his dissatisfaction.
“No. I need to be able to hear what the woman is saying,” Charlie answered stubbornly. Alastor’s microphone of a cane began to obnoxiously play a song of his choice for a moment in retaliation, but died down after a few moments. After all, Charlie ignored his attempt at aggravation, so there was no point in keeping it up.
Charlie looked around the bar, searching. Finally, her gaze settled on a fancier booth with half drawn curtains. From her angle, she could only see a woman. She looked frustrated.
“---get out of your shell! It’s about time you start talking to some guys for once,” Charlie caught the tail end of the woman’s statement. She was gesturing wildly around, exasperation evident in the jagged movements. “I’m sick of watching you pine for somebody who’s been gone for ages.”
★
“Ten years isn’t ages, Mechiele,” You drew your finger against the table, making shapes with the rim of water that the condensation from your glass left. Nearly a hundred years, more like, You commented to yourself. You never told anybody that you were an immortal being. Nobody believed you when you did, anyway.
You sat your cheek against the palm of your hand and lifted your gaze to your friend, who looked at you with a sharp frown. You shot her a weak smile.
“Can you just drop it?” You asked, nearly pleading. You didn’t want to cry tonight, being a little tipsy—you were an emotional drunk. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself blabbering about a dead husband.
“Come on,” Mechiele said impatiently, pushing your pleas aside. “There’s so many hot guys in here, I bet one would just love to take a piece of work like you home and-”
“Mechiele.” You hoped your tone was enough to shut her up.
You should’ve known better, honestly. Mechiele was already abrasive when she was sober, but with the amount of drinks she’s had tonight…
“No, no, no! You bum! Get your ass up right now and get out there! And take that ring off while you’re at it!”
Mechiele quickly lunged at you, a much too playful look in her eye considering how pissed you were right now. You yanked your arm away from her grasp, cupping your hand protectively with the other, shielding the golden band on your finger from her.
“Fucking drop it!” You snapped at her, standing from your seat. “I’m going home. You’re too drunk. I’ll drive.”
“You’re so fucking lame,” Mechiele droned, falling back into her seat. She wouldn’t budge when you urged her to stand and come with you. “He’s fuckin’ dead! Get a new man, already! Alastor’s not-”
Mechiele stopped abruptly when you smacked her. It wasn’t an incredibly hard smack or anything, barely enough to leave a red bloom on her cheek, but it was enough. She looked at you through narrowed eyes. You returned the same expression.
You left the booth and stormed off, cursing under your breath about it all. About Mechiele, about this stupid bar, about the tipsy feeling in your head, about Alastor—
You folded your arms together as you briskly walked to your car, yelling in frustration at your heels and ripping them off your feet. The ground was a little wet and cold, but you didn’t care. After making it to your car, you threw yourself in an switched it on.
You thought for a few moments. You were lightheaded after a few drinks, but you really didn’t want to wait for a taxi. You’d probably be fine, yeah? Sure. Against your better judgment, you began to drive.
It was a long drive, but it gave you some time to think.
You missed him. You pined for him. Nearly every night was agony, missing the presence of the only man you’ve ever fallen in love with.
You cursed whatever higher power there was for making you this way—immortal. How cruel it was, to make you live forever to suffer this longing. You didn’t even notice when you ended up in your room, but you let yourself fall face first onto your bed, curling up into a ball.
Even more, you cursed yourself for ever falling in love. You should’ve known it would only lead to an endless torture of heartbreak. You would never love anybody the same; although, you don’t think you’d want to, even if you could.
You were born to suffer. To spend an eternity in life without him.
★
Charlie continued to watch in shock for a few moments, her mouth dropped at the mention of the Radio Demon’s name. The previously hidden woman stepped from the bar, a furious look in her eyes as she stormed away. Mechiele was left with stubbornly folded arms and an empty glass of alcohol.
“Heyyy, uh, Al, how common is your name..? Do you know…” Charlie asked a bit awkwardly. She got no response. She lifted the headset, and realized he was gone. Even still, there seemed to be a lingering feeling of intense static, and the air somehow felt a bit heavier than before.
★
This had to be some cruel, sick joke, right? Heaven had to be toying with him, finally finding a way to torture his soul. His wife—she was dead. It had been nearly a hundred years since he died, and even if she had lived till she was old—
Alastor was pacing his room, ears pinned and eyes wide in frantic thought. Oh, how he yearned for her. He had managed for so long to push the memory of her away, to lock up his loss in a tight cage as he climbed the ranks of hell; it had all come rushing, barreling, torrenting back when he had seen her—or, no, somebody that looked like her—step out of those curtains. It was only a coincidence that that woman looked like his wife, and only a coincidence that she had a dead husband that shared his name.
His wife was in heaven, no doubt; which was where she belonged, of course, but Alastor had spent the last decade pining for somebody who he could never see again. If given the choice, Alastor wasn’t so sure himself if he was kind enough as to not tear her soul from Heaven and down to Hell by his side. Alternatively, even if Charlie’s idea of redemption were to work, Alastor was truly irredeemable. It was all wistful thinking, anyway.
Alastor’s claws dug into the curtains of his window, staring out into the streets of Hell in an attempt to concentrate on one steady stream of thought.
When billions of people touch the Earth, it’s only natural that coincidences like this rise. Right? He tried desperately to convince himself of different possibilities. It just made no sense.
A knocking at his door made Alastor’s grin curl in deadly malice. He really wasn’t in the mood.
He paced to his door, opened it just enough to fit his body in the frame, and glared down at Charlie. She was wringing her hands together nervously, and only seemed to grow more timid as the heavy, almost palpable ambience of his radio static filled the hallway she stood in.
“I’m busy,” Alastor said bluntly. His lips were curled in a sneer.
“I can tell,” Charlie responded. "I know you don't like talking about yourself-" She began to ramble on about him talking to her about his feelings and whatnot, but Alastor didn’t listen as he shut the door again.
Though, the interruption did give his mind a chance to slow. He sat on a chair in the corner of his room, and opted to fiddle with the radio on the drawer next to him. He tuned it—or, more just magically infused it—to play some jazz to try to keep his head level.
It would take some time to rebuild the dam that held back the memories of his wife. Even just the mere thought of her made him feel weak, and he hated it. The only soul he was capable of falling in love with—gone, forever.
Alastor never took the whole “eternity of damnation” thing seriously, considering the power he held and how comfortable he really was in Hell. However, when he remembered her—
Hell truly was torture. And he was cursed to spend his eternity in death without her.
#ohdeerfully#hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader angst#angst#mutual pining OM NOM NOM NOM#i love angst im sorry guys
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Enchanted
Summary: You lost each other once, holding out in hopes of crossing paths again. It's almost fate that you do, and Wonwoo doesn't want to let you leave him again
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, exes to lovers
Pairing: Idol!jeon Wonwoo x afab!reader
WC: 4.5k (i got REALLY carried away yall im so sorry)
Series Masterlist
18+ MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT
WARNINGS UNDER CUT
Warnings: hurt comfort, ex high school sweethearts to lovers, mentions of someone trying to get a little too touchy feely with reader so if you aren't comfortable, don't read it (nothing bad happens AT ALL, the guy is just a dumbass, but i figured i would put a warning for all of you), unprotected sex, making out, fingering, choking, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, begging, kinda dom/sub themes again, mentions of drinking, swearing, marking, spanking, Wonwoo likes boobs, sexual tension, mentions of chemistry, idk there's a lot so let me know if i missed something important
Listen to Enchanted by Taylor Swift <3
A/N: Guys i wrote this all today/last night and i'm really proud of it. It's also the first smut fic that's like...i wouldn't call it intense but it's more than what I'm used to ig. I hope yall like it though <3. Also thank you to Fawn for beta reading again. teehee
You had always hated gatherings: holidays, work events, family reunions, weddings, you name it. You always hated being the only person there without a partner. Not that you felt the need to have one, but it got annoying when you got the same questions over and over and over again.
When are you going to settle down and marry a nice boy?
Your parents aren’t getting any younger, don’t you want them to have some grandkids?
What are you waiting for?
The truth is, you had the answer to only one of those questions. What were you waiting for?
It has to be some stroke of luck when the answer walks right through the door to your high school reunion decked in an all-black suit and the same nerdy glasses he’d had his whole life.
Jeon Wonwoo. Your high school sweetheart turned drunk sob story to your best friends after a few too many cocktails.
It’s ironic how the root of all of your relationship problems just so happens to hate your guts. Not that you blamed him for it. Everything that happened between the two of you, everything that went wrong in your relationship was because of you and your insecurities. Because you didn’t trust that the idol life wouldn’t ruin the two of you. If you were him, you’d cut contact and disappear as well.
Eunchae, your best friend from high school, nudges your arm, her eyes flicking between you and the man who hasn’t spotted your wide-eyed stare.
“Did you know he was coming today?” She whispers harshly, jerking you out of your dumbstruck trance. Your mouth opens and closes repeatedly, awfully reminiscent of a goldfish.
“I— no, no I didn’t.” You feel out of breath, your heart beginning to pound against your ribs so hard that you fear the bones might snap. “Hana said that— that he didn’t RSVP.”
You look up again, and your heart stutters in your chest.
He’s looking at you, through the crowd of people around him. Wonwoo had his eyes locked on you, his gaze unreadable from where you stood. It feels like he’s cast an enchantment on you, freezing you under the weight of his gaze.
Your hands are shaking, and the drink in your hand almost spills before Eunchae grabs you. Someone steps in front of Wonwoo— a man, from here you can’t tell who— and your view of him is cut off.
You don’t see him try to gently nudge the man to the side while talking to him, trying to get a better look at you. You don’t see the disappointment when he finally gets him to move and you’re gone, out of his view.
~
“Wonwoo,” one of his old friends, whose name has slipped his mind (Seonkyung maybe?), claps him on the shoulder. “You really have grown up, huh?” Wonwoo smiles politely, adjusting the expensive watch on his wrist.
“I mean seriously,” another man comes forward, someone Wonwoo knows very well and for all the wrong reasons. Lee Jongdae, the man who planted seeds of doubt in your ear. The man who ruined something good, something that would have lasted. “You used to be like,” Jongdae raises his hand, waving it flat in the air next to his shoulder, “this tall? And now you’re a giant!”
“You must be getting all the girls, eh?” Seonkyung teases. Wonwoo wants to scream, wants to get out of this situation as fast as possible. “The idol life must make things easy, right?”
“I don’t really go out much,” he shrugs, still holding that polite smile on his face. “The idol life is busier than you think.” Seonkyung scoffs at this. Jongdae narrows his eyes, but the near-mocking smile returns to his face.
“Come on~” Jongdae presses, “there’s gotta be some idol woman that you’ve snatched up. Someone has to have grabbed the attention of the great Jeon Wonwoo.”
He hesitates. Yes, someone has grabbed his attention but it isn’t another idol in the industry.
“Or, wait,” Jongdae’s hand collides with Wonwoo’s chest, something similar to malice appearing in his eyes. “Are you still hung up on that Y/N girl?”
Wonwoo goes rigid, and beside him Seonkyung gets quiet. Jongdae bursts into laughter, the sound ringing around the room and gathering the attention of a lot of people. Wonwoo feels his jaw tick in annoyance, fighting the urge to roll his eyes or knock the man to the ground.
“No way are you still hung up on her!” Jongdae huffs out between laughs, seemingly uncaring that he’s the only one laughing. “Ten years, and you’re still going after someone who couldn’t care less about you anymore?”
Someone inside of Wonwoo breaks a little bit. Something inside him cracks, and his resolve crumbles slightly. He hadn’t expected the jab to hurt as much as it did, but god did it sting.
“I never said I was hung up on her.” Wonwoo folds his arms over his chest. “Like you said, it’s been ten years. If she’s moved on then that’s her business.”
“So it wouldn’t bother you if I got with her?” Jongdae takes a step forward, an eyebrow arching in challenge. “Because I won’t lie to you, she’s looking good.”
Wonwoo’s jaw ticks again, but he keeps a pleasant smile on his lips. Don’t say yes, don’t say yes. “Like I said, not my business.”
That clearly isn’t the answer Jongdae is looking for, and a puff of pride fills Wonwoo.
And then dread. He just gave the one man he would hate to see you with permission to do whatever he wanted. “Permission”, as if he has any control or say in the things, or people, that you do.
~
When Jongdae approaches you, there’s an immediate pit of despair in your stomach, like some princess waiting to be saved from the tower she’d been locked in. There’s a menacing look in his eyes, and he walks with a swagger telling you that he’s used to getting what he wants out of a situation.
“Hi, gorgeous.” You almost cringe at the first words out of his mouth, your lips twisting into an awkward, tense smile.
“Hi…?”
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Jongdae continues, not waiting for you to say or do anything. He’s only focused on getting what he wants, that much is obvious from the way he smirks and glances around to find…someone. Who, you aren’t sure. “You sure have…grown up a bit, haven’t you?”
“I mean…yeah I’m 27. I would hope I’ve grown up a bit.” He laughs a bit too hard for something you hadn’t intended to be funny.
“Say,” he leans closer to you, and you press yourself back against the wall. His hand comes to rest on the side of your thigh, right near the slit in your dress. “Why don’t we get out of here? You know, go somewhere a little bit more…quiet? Maybe Mrs. Ji’s old chemistry lab?”
Your body is tense, and you try to pull away from him.
“No, thank you.” Your hand tightens around the small plastic cup of cheap wine in your hand. “I think I’m fine where I am.”
“C’mon, don’t you wanna loosen up a bit?” He coos, and his grip tightens on part of your dress. Your body tenses.
Then his grip was gone, and his body is hitting the floor, and people were beginning to surround you and Jongdae and…Wonwoo?
Wonwoo is standing next to you, his black jacket seemingly gone, and the sleeves of his black button-up are rolled up to his elbows. His eyes are narrowed, his lips pulled into a thin line.
“What the hell was that for, Jeon?” Jongdae pulls himself to his feet, trying to approach him, but another man steps forward. “Thought you said it wasn’t your business?”
“It wasn’t,” Wonwoo agrees, “but that was only until you tried to do that.”
Something about Wonwoo being this protective over you, even after what you did, makes your stomach twist into knots. You have to remind yourself that he’s just doing this because he had to. Because this is what anyone would do, and your heart sinks into your stomach.
“We were just trying to have some fun,” Jongdae snaps, “right Y/N?”
Wonwoo looks at you, and when you return his gaze it’s like you’re back in high school again.
Do you want to leave? His head tilts ever so slightly toward the door.
Get me out of here. You hope your eyes are portraying that thought perfectly, but the tight smile on your ex’s lips tells you all you need to know.
“She’s not going anywhere with you, Lee Jongdae.” Wonwoo’s hand finds its way to the small of your back, and you find yourself tucking your body into his side just like you used to.
Only this time, it’s like you fit perfectly under his arm. His very…very…very muscular arm and slim waist and when your arm wraps into the back of his shirt, you can just barely feel the tight muscles and—
Oh god, you’re gonna do something you shouldn’t if the two of you don’t leave right now.
You’re lucky that Wonwoo is able to guide you away, and that Jongdae doesn’t try to come after the two of you. You figured that, while the man was stupid, he wasn’t going to try and harm someone making more than triple his annual income and with enough power to ruin his life with just one click of a button. Probably literally.
~
“Are you okay?” Wonwoo has his hands wrapped around the headrest of the driver’s seat in his car, watching you as you pick at the skin around your manicured nails. You turn your head to look at him, pursing your lips.
“I mean…I guess? He didn’t really do anything, thank god.” You let your hands drop to your lap and a heavy sigh escapes you when you let your head fall against your headrest.
“I’m sorry that he did that.” Wonwoo’s voice is gravelly, and you have to take a moment to calm yourself before speaking.
“It isn’t like it’s your fault. You do know that, right?” Wonwoo shrugs.
“It kind of is, though. The only reason he went up to you is because of me. Because he wanted to get under my skin.” Oh? You arch an eyebrow, turning your body to face him. The slit in your dress shifts ever so slightly, exposing your bare thigh. Wonwoo turns his head away from you, his cheeks heating.
“Why would he want to do that?” In your heart, you already know. The way the two of you easily slipped back into your old habits, the way he didn’t even hesitate to help you despite protesting that anyone would have done it. You knew, now, that he didn’t hate you. You just wanted him to admit it.
Wonwoo lets out a heavy sigh and rolls his head to look at you.
“You’re really gonna make me say it?” You nod, leaning your body across the center console to get close to him. You can tell he’s nervous, maybe embarrassed.
“You know me, Wonwoo. I always get what I want.” You grin and Wonwoo turns to look at you again and suddenly you’re aware that you aren’t dating him anymore. That it’s weird for you to be that close to him.
Your smile drops and you sink back into your seat. Wonwoo watches you, a frown replacing his previous smile.
“I’m— I’m so sorry.” You press yourself as close to your door as possible. “I shouldn’t have— I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Wonwoo fights the itch in his brain that tells him to grab your hand and place a kiss on the back of it. He hadn’t realized just how enchanted with you he was until he saw you across the room for the first time in ten years. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed having you pulled against his side, although you fit much better now that he’d filled out and grown into his body. Wonwoo hadn’t missed the way your breathing hitched when he pulled you against him, hadn’t missed the dazed look in your eye when he looked down to ensure that you weren’t hurt. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I just— I shouldn’t have touched you like that—”
“Y/N,” Wonwoo cuts you off. “You did nothing that I didn’t want you to do.” Your mouth snaps shut, and you look at him with wide eyes. He takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I…I still— fuck this is harder than I thought it would be. For a songwriter, you would think I’d know how to confess that I’m still enchanted by you.” He laughs nervously, and when he turns to look at you, you’re smiling gently. You understand.
You stay quiet and then turn to him again. He’s facing you too, and your faces are inches apart.
“I was enchanted by you too, Jeon Wonwoo.”
And then your lips are on his, and it’s a searing kiss that leaves him breathless from the moment it starts. His hand rises to your cheek, gently pulling you even closer to him. Your hands wrap around the fabric of his shirt, and you whine when his tongue hesitantly prods at the seam of your lips.
You open your mouth for him, and his hand slides to tangle in your hair and pull you impossibly closer, nearly across the center console. He roams your mouth, his tongue licking at every inch, sliding against your own as if this was the last time he’d ever be able to kiss you. Your hand slides down, tracing down to his tie, then to his abdomen and you can feel the muscles tightening wherever your nails trace.
Your hand trails even lower, and you feel him freeze against you when you place your hand over his crotch. He forces himself to pull his lips from yours, a string of spit connecting your tongues, and his eyes flutter shut again when your hand squeezes lightly around his hard-on.
“Don’t do this to me,” he pleads. “I’m supposed to be a gentleman.” You smirk, raising your lips to his ear.
“What if I don’t want you to be?” A gentle kiss was placed to the corner of his jaw, and his grip on your hair tightened to the point of near painful. This draws a whimper out of you, right in his ear. He pulls you back, not harshly but enough for your jaw to drop.
“Tell me you’re sure,” he practically begs. “Tell me that this isn’t going to be a one-time thing, that you want me as much as I want you. Tell me that you aren’t in love with someone else, that there’s no one waiting for you at home.”
Tell me you love me.
Your hand slips to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing just under his eye.
“You know that you’ve always been it for me, Jeon Wonwoo.” You promise, and your lips are against his again. It’s sweeter than the first but still filled with ten years of words left unsaid. “Take me home.”
~
The moment Wonwoo locks the door to his apartment, you’re pressed against the wall with so much force you’re surprised there isn’t a hole in the shape of your body. His hands are on your hips, your thighs, your shoulders, and your chest. Every time he pulls away from your lips, he catches one between his teeth, nipping at the soft flesh before shifting his focus to your neck.
“Wonwoo,” your voice is shaking, your hand tangled in the dark strands of his once neatly styled hair. “Wonwoo, please?” Another hickey blooms across your neck, another on your shoulder, then your collarbone.
“Please what, baby?” He rasps, tugging the strap of your dress to the side until it slips down your shoulder and exposes more of your breast. “What do you need from me?” He slides the other strap down, and you gasp when his cold hands reach up and grab at the soft mounds on your chest.
“Wonwoo— Wonwoo, I—” Your brain has gone to mush the moment his mouth lands on your nipple, sucking at it and nipping at the bud. You breathe out soft moans, your hands struggling to move to the back of your dress to reach for the zipper.
It’s impossible to function with Wonwoo flicking his tongue against one nipple, his fingers kneading and twisting and pinching at the other. Your hands shake as you finally catch the zipper, yanking it down as quickly, yet gently, as possible.
Wonwoo pulls away from your chest, breathing heavily, eyes filled with nothing but lust. He examines your body, entirely nude from your choice to go braless and pantiless tonight, and his cock twitches in his slacks.
“God, you’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” He hisses. You peer up at him with eyes so innocent, but you both know that isn’t the case. “Did you know I was gonna be there? Hm?” He grabs your chin in one of his large hands, yanking you toward his face until you’re struggling to even stand on your tip toes. “Did you know that I was gonna give in to you?”
“No— Wonwoo, I didn’t know—” His free hand collides with your ass and you cry out, stumbling toward him. “Fuck, Wonwoo!” His hand strikes your skin again, and a gush of arousal practically drips down your legs.
“I think you’re lying to me,” he hums thoughtfully. “Lying isn’t nice, you know.”
“I’m not lying— Oh, Wonwoo please—” His free hand has slipped down to your core, delicate fingers brushing against your sopping wet cunt. “Please touch me, please, I need it.”
“Yeah, baby?” One finger pushes between your folds, and your knees almost buckle. Your nails dig into his biceps, squeezing the taut muscle as he sinks two long, slender fingers into you. “Need it so bad, don’t you? Had you waiting for so long. Did you miss me, baby? Miss this?”
“Missed you so bad, Wonwoo,” you arch your back into him, your hips jerking against his fingers. He slips a third inside of you. “Miss— Missed the way you t-touched me.” He hums, curling his fingers up into you and you emit a desperate cry of his name. “Right there, Wonwoo! Fu—fuck, right there!”
“Tell me how much you missed me, pretty girl.” He continues to curl his fingers inside of you, watching you and enamored by the way your eyes roll back, the way your jaw is dropped, and the way your chest heaves. “Tell me how much you need me.”
“N-Need you so–o bad. No o-one makes me fe-feel this good— oh god,” you clench around his fingers, pulsing and dripping down his wrist. “No one el-se made me c-cum like you d-do.” A swell of pride in his chest, and his thumb presses hard against your clit. You spasm around him, your moans growing louder and higher in pitch. “So close, Wonwoo.”
“It’s okay baby,” he purrs, “you can let go. I’m here now, gonna make you feel good. Gonna make you so good, never gonna have to turn to anyone else again. Just let go.”
You spasm again, and your body sags as your orgasm rocks through you. Wonwoo has an arm around his waist, his other hand still working his fingers into you and easing you through your high.
It takes you a few minutes to come down, and by the time you do, Wonwoo has removed his shirt and kicked his shoes off. He’s watching you as you try to step forward, catching you when you stumble. You reach for the button of his slacks and he stops you, smiling when you pout.
“I’m not fucking you here, baby. You deserve to be fucked in an actual bed.” You let him guide you to his bedroom— correction try to guide you. It’s like you’re addicted to the taste of him, your lips practically gluing themselves to his biceps, licking and biting at the salty skin. You can feel every one of his breaths as he walks, and his pace picks up until he’s flinging open his bedroom door and shoving you in front of him. You stumble a bit, and he pushes you again so you fall face down onto his bed. Wonwoo isn’t far behind you, his body leaning over yours and his hand on the back of your neck and preventing you from pushing yourself up.
“Do you know how much I missed this? Being able to fuck you wherever, whenever, and however I wanted?” He hisses into your ear, and you feel his free hand slip down your back as he reaches for the button on his pants. His hips keep rolling into yours, and the little grunts and moans that he releases are almost enough to get you to cum again. “Do you know how hard it was to not imagine that I was fucking your sweet little cunt every time I found someone to spend the night with? No one matched up to you, sweet girl. No one got me to cum like you do, got me as hard as you do.” You whine when he kicks your ankles apart, your nails gripping the duvet for dear life.
When you feel his tip prodding at your entrance, it takes everything in you to not grind into him. He’s breathing heavily into your neck, slowly slipping in. Your body twitches and you fling your hand back, frantically searching for his own to squeeze and distract yourself from the pain of him stretching you out.
“So tight,” he presses his forehead against the back of your neck, his body shuddering. “Fuck, it’s like nobody has fucked since me.”
“N-nobody else felt as good as you,” you gasp out. “No one could stretch me out like you do. Just fuck me, please.”
“Gotta let you adjust, baby,” he argues. “Still got about half left.”
You whine again, jerking his arm in front of you and letting your face fall into it. He groans when your teeth sink into his skin, biting and sucking and gasping against him until you feel his hips connect with yours.
“You ready?” He rubs your back gently, and you frantically nod your head.
“Please, please, please, please—” His hips pull back and you release a guttural moan as he slams his hips into yours. Again and again and again and again. Every thrust sends the tip of cock full force into that soft, pleasurable spot inside of you and it feels so good, and he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t slow down, and you don’t ask him to. Your mouth has fallen open, a neverending stream of cries and moans and begging leaving your lips.
His hands reach forward, and you feel a finger hook into your mouth on either side. It stings, the stretch of him holding your mouth open, and you feel your back arch, his cock somehow hitting even deeper inside of you. Drool slips down your chin and it’s so nasty but you can’t form the words to stop him. The only things that leave your mouth are nonsensical babbling and you feel Wonwoo begin to rise, taking you with him. One of his hands leaves your mouth and slips down to the base of your throat, and the other’s thumb hooks into your jaw and holds your mouth open. His hand squeezes around your throat, and you squeeze around his cock
“You close, baby?” Wonwoo coos into your ear but you don’t have the brains to form words. Your hips press back into his, one of your hands slipping down to frantically rub at your clit. You’re clenching rapidly around him now, almost in time with when he pulls out of you and you can feel him twitching inside of you. “Gonna cum again?”
You try to tell him that, yes you’re so close and it feels so good and oh god Wonwoo please—
Your body shudders and a sound similar to a scream escapes you, your free hand gripping his forearm tightly and you can feel the skin tearing beneath your nails but neither of you cares as he pumps white-hot cum deep inside of you. His hips are still rolling, adding to the sensation of his cum inside of you. Your core begins to sting with overstimulation, and you try to pull away from Wonwoo with a whine. He just laughs, his hands settling on your waist and lowering you down onto the bed once his cock has softened.
~
Your back is against his in the tub and he’s running a soft cloth along your body, along the marks on your body and the bruises on your hips.
“You doing okay?” His voice is tender. “I know I was a little bit harsh on you.”
You chuckle. “Not like you haven’t done that before.”
You play with the suds that float in the water, humming quietly. Wonwoo takes a deep breath, letting his head fall back a bit.
“Why don’t you hate me?” You lean your head back on his chest, and he frowns at the question.
“Why would I hate you?”
A shrug and you drop your arms into the water.
“I threw away a nearly perfect relationship just because someone said you’d drop me the moment you found someone better in the idol industry.”
“So?” Wonwoo traces shapes into the skin of your thigh. “That’s not your fault. I get that it was scary. Neither of us knew what was gonna happen, you were already stressed about how things were gonna work with you being in college. I’m not gonna blame you or hate you for that choice. What matters is that we found each other again.”
Your cheeks heat up and you turn your body around in the tub to sit on his lap. He looks up at you with nothing but pure adoration in his eyes.
“Did you mean what you said?” You ask. He raises an eyebrow. “In the hallway. That I’d never have to turn to anyone else. Are we gonna…” Your voice trails off and Wonwoo raises his head to place a gentle kiss on your lips.
“I meant every single word I said tonight. I’m here to stay, Y/N.” His nose nudges against yours. “I was enchanted from the moment I met you, and I want to be yours again if you’ll let me.”
You play with the strands of his hair, smiling like a madman.
“And I meant everything I said as well,” You let your forehead rest against his, your eyes falling shut. “I want you to stay with me. Please.”
Wonwoo exhales softly.
“Always. I will always stay.”
~
Taglist: @juyeonszn @leejihoonownsmyheart @nobraincellmode
#itsbeeble#kpop#kpop imagines#kpop angst#kpop fluff#kpop smut#kpop x reader#seventeen#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen x reader#jeon wonwoo#wonwoo#wonwoo imagines#wonwoo smut#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#seventeen angst#wonwoo x reader#reese's pieces 🗞️#reese's works 📩#reese's moots 🩵#fawn~ 🧼#brie~ 🫧
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꒦꒷ enhypen ! and your infamous ship with them<3
idol-ot7!enhypen x idol-fem!reader .. fluff .. no warnings<3 not proofread!!
read pt.1 here!! — since you all liked it<3
ε ї з — heeseung
as if his heart eyes for you at the interview weren’t enough, heeseung started talking about you a lot in his lives, which only adds to your fan’s delusions.
he’d go on and talk about his day in his lives when all of a sudden he’d turn on some music and the first song he’d pick would be one of your songs.
“this song is so good, i listen to it almost every day, this artist y/n is really talented i really love her songs” he’d say with a big smile.
and oh, this is definitely not the end, he’d also go on and rant about the first time meeting you and tell them about those times when you bumped into each other, as if he’s telling his best friend about a new crush he has.
“i was walking down the aisle when i accidentally bumped into her, she was in a bit rush so she apologized quickly and ran away, it was so funny i didn’t know what to do” he’d giggle, “after that she saw me again and even got me a snack, that’s cute”
with delusional fans, comes the delusional tweets of fans, and the conspiracies about heeseung having a crush too (which might be true)
“if i wasn’t so sure before, now im more than 100% sure that this boy is having a crush on her, and i’m all in for it!!”
ε ї з — jay
a week after the valentine’s day story blew up, jay went on a live again, just casually talking with his fans that he loves and appreciates so much.
jay was ranting about a cake his mom made him,and explained how cool the design she did looked, to the point where he actually took his phone and scrolled through his gallery to show them a picture.
usually, when idols show their phones on lives or such, they’d turn off their notifications, only this time jay was so into it that he forgot to do it.
at the same time you, being the good old friend you are, responded to a text he sent you a few minutes ago, even before he started the live.
as he was showing his picture on his phone to the fans he also got a notification from you, it was a matter of a few seconds for fans to realize your contact name, and a few seconds for jay to realize he’s doomed.
jay tried to laugh it off but it was too late. now even those who didn’t ship you two and had doubts about it are left speechless.
“i admit i didn’t believe the valentine’s day story and their ship, but now knowing they text each other and probably do every day too? YES!!”
ε ї з — jake
your old meet up with jake was actually filmed for a short vlog, you both work under the same company so it was pretty common to meet up and get it filmed.
a few days after the scandal blew up, a really short vlog of the both of you got released.
fans rushed to watch it and see any clue of jake since it was rumored he was going to be there. the short film got around 100k+ in no time!
fans felt like swooning whenever they watched your interactions, you and jake even spoke in english, considering the fact that you both are foreigners and feel comfortable speaking in english.
jake never looked more shy than when he was literally standing next to you, holding his signed album and just waiting for the right moment to give it to you.
if you’d ask any fan that watched this short vlog, they’d probably tell you they’re 100% sure that something is up with the both of you. the way that he looked at you was something fans never saw before, and the way that you looked at him was as if you finally got to talk with your crush after years of crushing over him.
“i NEVER thought i’d be able to see both of my ults in one frame together!! i bet you a million dollars that they’re dating and fight me if they’re not!! it seemed like they tried to hide it but it looked too overact”
ε ї з — sunghoon
everyone’s favorite ambassadors!! your couple photoshoot got so famous that even people who never heard of the two of you refused to believe you’re not dating.
on your first photoshoot together, you and sunghoon did some funny tiktok challenges that got super famous to the point that people started making edits out of them.
ever since then, each time you’d see each other you’d make a tiktok together, wether it’s a dance challenge or just a very trendy tiktok hence, it wasn’t such a surprised that enhypen’s tiktok account and your tiktok account was filled with tiktoks of the both of you together.
fans brought up new conspiracies of the both of you going on short dates and filming tiktoks together, a whole new chaos was created.
if you thought these tiktoks were enough then think again because not only your tiktok was filled with the both of you, but you also made sure to take many many photos and post it on instagram.
i think out of all ships, yours and sunghoons shippers are being fed so well honestly and they never ever complain about it.
“i never heard about these two until i saw their photoshoots!! you can’t tell me they’re not dating?? and we get too many contents of them two im fully convinced they’re just dropping hints”
ε ї з — sunoo
new years awards came in fast, and all fans were looking forward to collab stages, it was rumored that a lot of 3rd gen and 4th gen are going to perform together, but fans never ever expected you and sunoo to be on one stage together.
him dancing to your performance in one award got so famous that fans even made memes about it, like “me when my favorite song is playing in one store” and more!
the thing is, this stage included only you and him, which made the fans go even more crazy. you and sunoo? on one stage? all alone? fans hoped so bad for that and it happened.
you and sunoo ate the performance, it included a lot of skinship and difficult moves that even fans who tried to cover the collab stage complained about it being really hard.
a stage between a female idol and male idol isn’t something that’s very popular lately (sadly!!!) so it was such a surprise that you and sunoo actually did it.
king and queen of kpop confirmed! your new ship nickname was formed in no time and other fans who watched your stage was mesmerized by how good you two look together.
“IM GOING CRAZY RN!! sunoo and y/n, boyfriend and girlfriend on one stage AND THEY ATE THAT PERFORMANCE!! imagine being on stage with your partner they’re so iconic for that!!”
ε ї з — jungwon
as weeks went by with you and jungwon being MCs, fans got used to see the both of you together every week, it became a routine for them to open their laptop and stream your live, they’ll always find the time to watch the two of you.
when your contract ended, fans were devastated and didn’t want to move on, they even considered to stop watching the show without having the two of you.
even in your last day, you and jungwon looked so sad and unmotivated which made fans even more sad than before. the memories you created will always stay in the show’s history and fans’ hearts.
i guess both of your fans got super lucky because your companies were smart enough to sign the both of you up to a new variety show!!
new content of the both of you together?? in one variety show?? your fans can’t be thankful enough honestly.
fans were going mad watching the both of you being too comfortable around each other, basically doing everything together and staying really close to each other.
“anyone else waiting for them to accidentally expose their relationship on this variety show? come on!! its too obvious they’re dating!!”
ε ї з — riki
ever since that time the both of you met accidentally, the coffee shop became super famous, mostly people who waits to catch the both of you together are going there.
ever since then, fate has its own ways of getting to you, and each time you’re going to buy coffee in local stores, you happen to see him too.
you once uploaded a photo of your coffee to your weverse account and fans noticed a very familiar figure, who just happened to upload a photo of his coffee with you in the background.
and if that wasn’t enough, you were caught by fans together in the same place and this time, even shared a really long conversation. it became a usual thing for the both of you to meet up whenever you’re off to buy coffee, as if you know where to go if you want to meet up.
fans refuse to believe that this is all a coincidence since the evidences are always there, you’ve been seen around each other too many times, even in photos you yourself uploaded.
at one point you just decided to upload a photo together and tease your fans a bit, and it actually worked because the next day you became trending as the coffee couple.
“coffee couple has done it again! do you think their dates must have coffee in it? like what if they go to watch a movie? popcorn and coffee? anyways im fully convinced they’re always planning it and we’re just here to watch”
••• copyright © srjlvr all rights are reserved.
PERM TAG-LIST ; @sungwhoonz @ohdudehesflirting @unlikelysublimekryptonite @deobiis @manooffline @miumiuoi @in-somnias-world @filmofhybe @wonbinsnovia @daegutowns @aurumiee @soobywon @dhriti-stories @ariadores @firstclassjaylee @watamotee33 @moons-v @s00buwu @hoonheepretty @lovelovelovebts (bold means cannot be tagged)
#enhypen imagines#enhypen drabbles#enhypen reactions#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen headcanons#enhypen x reader#heeseung imagines#heeseung x reader#jay imagines#jay x reader#jake imagines#jake x reader#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon x reader#sunoo imagines#sunoo x reader#jungwon imagines#jungwon x reader#riki imagines#riki x reader
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✧ more personal chuuya hcs !!
✧ appearence hcs:
has a small small face
long, naturally curled, luscious eyelashes
soft and silky ass hair
very smooth, soft looking ivory skin
repping mestiso community, described as beautiful and unique
he actually glows in like any good lighting, golden hour does him best
his beauty is like majestic but gets called pretty a lot
bones did him soo wrong, he has toned sleeper build guys trust
naturally low-lided, sleepy eyes
he has really pretty brown eyes
has russet hair, NOT a ginger, he's more of a reddish brunette
slim, large hands that are really attractive
SNATCHED waist
he has a few pretty freckles
old money aesthetic
90s hot.
my personal hc is that his appearence comes from some sort of european descent, be it french or spanish blood that made his features so unique
looks so unreal that he looks otherworldly or like a doll; alien beauty
his skin reminds you of porcelain; this man's skin is mad flawless
ties his hair up at home into either a manbun or ponytail
has an 8+ step skincare routine..
has a super raspy voice in the morning/night
always takes his gloves off in the cuntiest manner - either biting the fingertips off one by one or that one manga panel where he bites the wrist part
whines when he stretches and it always catches u off guard
✧ crack/general hcs:
dances like hyunjin from skz (knows how to and practices his moonwalk)
bro is a WHEEZER when he genuinely laughs, he also feels the need to say ur not funny to keep ur ego in check when he is in fact laughing his ass off
when yall are laughing ur ass off (drunk or not) just know yall will be collasping on the floor feeling the six pack coming in
rip chuuya - you would've loved making electric guitar thirst traps on tiktok
he LOVES rollarcoasters or anything with a kick to it tbh (fast car or motorcycle rides) bc he loves gravity dzuh, but yknow what he CANT take??
them seats in the movie theatre where they move according to the movie, he gets way too invested in movies and the seats moving like crazy fries his brain (IM SORRY IF U DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING AB, THEYRE CALLED DBOX)
he ofc has a weakness for dogs but if he ever tries to feed a stray cat and it runs away or hisses he gets a little sassy and hisses back
sleeps like a dying victorian child. you walked onto him sleeping once and contemplated on calling a priest
one of those people who have copies of the same clothing item, or they're like barely any different. you see his hat rack and he gets offended bc "all his hats are completely different"
he scoffs a lot
starts chasing you if you ever MENTION the times when he was 15 (has made cringy youtube diss tracks with dazai, lost the login, now that videos up forever..)
if you're short like him and tell a story complaining about how ppl call u short, he gets personally offended FOR you
likes reading books but they vary from sophisticated novels to books like "HOW TO STAND ON BUSINESS?!?!"
his spice tolerance is wild, even if he can't actually take it he still will to prove a point
since his voice is pretty guttural whenever he has a voice crack while speaking you both pause and look at each other in silence before you laugh and he just goes "shut up.. shut up.. 😒"
he likes to mock ppl (lovingly) w higher voices like higuchi (especially when shes talking ab aku) bc it's older brother vibes and their reactions are always priceless
✧ chocsra™
#chocsra#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#15 light novel bsd#15 chuuya#16 chuuya#stormbringer bsd#stormbringer chuuya#stormbringer chuuya headcanons#chuuya headcanons#chuuya headcanon#chuuya hcs#stormbringer chuuya hcs#16 chuuya headcanons#chuuya nakahara hcs#chuuya nakahara headcanons#nakahara chuuya hcs#bsd hcs#bsd headcanons#bungo stray dogs hcs
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JUST CO-WORKERS : aki hayakawa
warning(s) public sex ? idk, but it’s balcony sex at reader and aki’s apartment lol. fwb, unprotected sex, creampie, slight spanking
word count 1,537
author’s note honestly didn’t wanna post another drabble but this has been on my drafts for months now n im having a little aki phase anywayz so hii
aki smoking that pack while giving you backshots, the morning news playing in the background, sun slowly rising across the horizons.
the air felt cool and groggy, the city still awake with lights from the long night, yet no one was outside to see your tits bouncing against the metal bar of the terrace that’s preventing you from falling over 9 stories down.
aki groaned in frustration, a cloud of smoke slipping out his nose and lips as he finally pressed the butt of his cig on the ashtray next to you , “baby, stop moving around so much, would ya?” he was literally asking the impossible judging by the way your body jolts with each thrust.
you mewl, face down to watch as some of the residents from your apartment complex exit the building and vouch for a taxi. “fuck, fuck— aki…” the molten stench of the cig was making you dizzy, enough that you were forgetting that people can hear you.
it’s definitely not the best type of noise to hear first thing in the morning for your neighbor’s sake, but you and aki have been up all night for work and are unable to fall asleep due to the adrenaline rush from killing devils so what better way to cure that than to just fuck like animals for a good night’s— or morning’s rest?
aki hunches over your shoulder, one hand squeezing your tummy while the other tilts your jaw back to meet his eyes. “ ‘m gonna need you to quiet down, alright? i want to be the only one who can hear you.” he leans in for a kiss, one that was full of lust, all wet and messy.
it’s complicated with aki, really. he doesn’t want to be in a relationship but would constantly get your hopes up whenever he’d probe you into these types of situations. the first time was when you came home after a dinner with other co-workers and a drunken kiss led to a hook up. something like this should’ve been expected as soon as you both were assigned to live in the same apartment, you just didn’t expect to like him as much as you do right now.
his cock was stretching you open, clit starting to feel cold from being deprived of touch. your cunt was so fucking wet, the sound of your slick slapping against his balls tickling aki’s ears. his hands were firm on your waist, adam’s apple prominent from his perspired neck.
the base of your ass slammed against his abdomen as you throw it back on him, his abs gleaming from the sheen of sweat and the sunlight peeking past the cracks of the buildings in front of you.
your knees were starting to give out, arms hooked around the railings of the terrace. “aki- i want you, please. please make me cum.” desperation lingered in your voice, it was comical honestly.
“hm? don’t you say the same thing when you’re with other men?”
you mewl when his tip plunged onto your g-spot. “wh-what other men?”
he scoffs, palm striking the skin of your ass and forcing a yelp out of you. “you don’t think i know? all those nights you’d invite some random loser from the bar and i have to listen to you fake your orgasm? i gotta say,” he slaps you again and grabs a chunk of your ass to grip on. “you’re a pretty good actress. but i know you, sweetheart. and i know how fucking beautiful you really sound when you cum.” he chuckles in between pants.
“why do you care so much anyways?” you yelp and aki rocks his hips vigorously, your hole starting to seep with arousal, dripping down your thighs and the curve of your ass marred with the print of his palm.
aki isn’t a chatty person at all, but you’ve been around him long enough to know that if he’s rambling like this, he’s pissed. under those nasty words of praise, his cock is bullying your insides and is risking you of getting a noise complaint.
he isn’t wrong though, you go around sleeping with other men on purpose to make him seethe in jealousy— to make him realize how much you mean to him. you intentionally exaggerate your moans for him to hear on the other side of the wall and he’s taking out the envy on you right now.
his clammy palms bruised the plump of your waist, his breathing heavy and teeth digging on his bottom lip. “because…” he punctures the same spot over and over again at an intermittent pace in between his words. “you deserve more than that.”
you grit your teeth, fists clenched while you whimpered. aki pulls out and wraps his palm around his fat cock, resting it in between your ass while jerking himself off.
he grunts, slapping his tip against the base of your back and taunting you. “so you want me to beg? is that it?” you groan.
“sure. not with that attitude though.” you couldn’t see him, but you bet he probably has that shit-eating grin plastered on his face right now.
it’s a change of pace from his usual stoic attitude.
he sneaks his hand in between your legs and teases your clit, the flat of his finger flicking you. “aki- don’t do this, shittttt…” you were starting to feel your stomach contract, sweat trickling from your forehead down your nose. the heat of the sun was starting to cower the dewy air, you turned your head, mouth quivering from the immense stimulation.
“please aki? i’ll be good to you. i’ll be a good girl for you…” it was so unnatural for you to pout as you are right now, bottom lip sticking out as you plead to him.
aki laughs, moaning while he fucks into his fist before poking his tip back in between your folds. “ ‘wasn’t that hard now, was it? ‘knew you had it in you.” he takes one of your arms and pins it on your back, a ball of his spit plopping down his cock before he snaps his hips against your ass.
his cock stretched your tight hole deliciously, thighs jiggling with each thrust. the tv’s noise and your moans was now swallowed by the honking and the engines of cars downstairs, you can practically see the whole road with your tits smashed against the railings. your arm is sore from being held behind you, slick running down your inner thigh.
“aki, fuck, cum with me, ah fuckkkkk” you curse out loud, your breathing jagged and sharp.
he stutters, grunting as he lets go of your arms and bruises your waist with his calloused hands. “w-where?”
“inside, baby. hah- ‘want you to make me yours.” he frantically slipped himself inside of you once more before fucking you full of cum mixed with your own, pulling his cock out with a pop! sound as translucent white cum dripped down your clenching pussy.
“fuck,” aki gasps and you turn around, seeing his face drenched with strands of his raven hair sticking to his forehead. he massaged your breasts, your palms cupping his cheeks and pulling him in for a longing kiss as you walk back into your shared apartment.
you hadn’t realized he was leading you to his room and onto his bed, you were too lost in his familiar lips that tasted of spearmint and cigarettes. you pulled from each other, your thumb pressing on his bottom lip.
you never slept in the same bed even after sex. it’s as if it was an unspoken rule— a boundary you should never cross.
however, this time felt different. aki got you to lay on his mattress and covered you with his fluffy comforter, the buzzing of the ac easing your sore body.
he settled next to you after putting his boxers back on, back against the headboard. “you’re free tomorrow, yes?” he asks, opening up a bottle of water from his nightstand and chugging on it before passing it to you.
“yeah duh, we’re in the same division.” you take a sip from the plastic bottle. probably not the best idea to share a drink with a chronic smoker, but you stopped caring.
aki always hated having to express his feelings especially after the tragedies that had occurred in his life. you were the only one that didn’t pity him when you found out about his past and that gave him a sense of hope.
maybe he’s not cut out for this and more so that you’re supposed to have a wall of professionalism in between you two, but to hell with all that. “let’s go on a date tomorrow.” he sighs.
“as…?” you slumped your head on his shoulder.
“as a couple, duh.” he places his nose on the top of your head, getting a whiff of your coconut shampoo.
“awh, is this your first time asking someone out?” you scoff.
“don’t make me take it back.”
“okay, okay! fine, i’ll go out with you tomorrow.” you’re being nonchalant, but nothing can express the amount of happiness bubbling up inside of you.
he hooks his arm around your shoulder and pushes you closer to him. “this means we’re dating now, right?” you whisper, pecking his jaw lightly.
“yes, babe.”
#the ending was kinda eh but wtv#aki hayakawa#aki csm#aki hayakawa smut#aki smut#csm#chainsaw man#csm smut#chainsaw man smut#aki x reader#aki hayakawa x reader#aki x reader smut#aki hayakawa x reader smut
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Seventeen as Pokemon Trainers
Genre: humor, crack
Note: partially inspired by @ugh-yoongi bts as pokemon gym leaders v fun way to break up the fic im working on. thinking about doing ateez if i get the inspo
m.list
Seungcheol
our leader but also the biggest baby girl. retired champion and uses the same team from his youth to this day. He’ll randomly show up places like some old man, talk about the good old days, and wait for someone to challenge him. The only person whose managed to best him is Jeonghan and his damn clefairy
team: charizard, dragonair, bronzong, spiritomb, lapras, aerodactyl
Jeonghan
If you’re in the woods alone, Jeonghan will approach and ask for help while his pokemon pickpocket you. He likes the cute pokemon and has maxed them all out so he can scam people into battles and oneshot their entire team. Word on the street is his jigglypuff is wanted in multiple countries for tax evasion
team: tinkaton, jigglypuff, espeon, tandemaus, mime jr., clefairy
Joshua
Gym leader and one of the first gyms you encounter. Copied the elite four in the sense that once you enter his gym you can’t leave unless you defeat everyone. Bug types are weak so he makes up for it by being a lunatic. Likes bug pokemon bc they freak people out. He’s more interested in people’s reaction to his team than winning but that doesn’t mean he’ll let up
team: vespiquen, drapion, gardevoir, dustox, parasect, galvantula
Jun
Cats and cat adjacent. He’s literally just some guy that hangs around town and feeds the stray cats in hopes they’ll follow him home. So fars hes be successful. likes to have a staring contest with espurr that usual ends with them both falling asleep with their eyes open.
team: espurr, litten, purugly, glaceon, liepard, delcatty
Hoshi
Gym leader and electric type enthusiast. Arcanine is the exception bc tiger is life. You hear him before you see him and if you do see him it’s probably because he's flying thirty feet in the air from a well timed thunderbolt courtesy of his Jolteon he can’t help but pet when thinking. one of the best gym leaders, also defeated the elite four but by then cheol was champion and hoshi learned a valuable lesson on why you shouldn't brag about winning with a one type team
team: luxray, jolteon, arcanine, electivire, zebstrika, emolga
Wonwoo
All of his pokemon are from when he was an edgy teen and thought they made him look more intimidating because he wanted to be a gym leader. He’s mellowed out now and mostly battles for fun. A lot people think he’s scary but then he opens his mouth and goes on a 45 minute spiel about his absol’s favorite bedtime story and why hydreigon is simply misunderstood
team: hydreigon, absol, garchomp, mismagius, banette, lucario
Woozi
Works out with his team so it's survival of the fittest. People think he’s intimidating because he is but actually very chill. Constantly asked why he doesn’t become a gym leader and the answer is always the same: he doesn’t w4ant to. He is content to sit back and watch Hoshi act like a psycho. Doesn’t really battle much but when he does his opponent is in for a world of hurt.
team: poliwrath, metagross, gallade, gigalith, hariyama, infernape
Seokmin
Every pokemon he has starts with “well its actually a funny story…” dodrio just started following him home and seokmin was too scared to tell it to leave, same with lickilicky… and marill… and pikachu. But they’re basically a captive audience for his shenanigans and he sometimes will busk with chatot and makes a good amount of money
team: meganium, lickilicky, chatot, dodrio, marill, pikachu
Mingyu
Aims for balance. Very bro with his pokemon except Cleffa who is carried around in one of those child wraps. Not on the journey to become champion, more so just wants to see the world with his besties. You can find him sleeping in a cuddle puddle with his team after sitting around the fire and eating too many marshmallows.
team: raichu, empoleon, emboar, tauros, cleffa, steelix
Minghao
Appreciates the beauty of pokemon, especially ghost/dark/fairy. they fit his aesthetic. Has a few randoms to throw people off. You can find him sitting in a field under a full moon while they all meditate or just standing in a cave marveling at the nature (right before he sends you hightailing the way you came)
team: toxicroak, gengar, musharna, murkrow, houndoom, drifblim
Seungkwan
My island boy… also a jock. Not a gym leader but a notoriously difficult trainer you meet later on the beach. His team is as sassy as he is and has no issue KO’ing everyone, including you. Hope you know how to swim!
team: blastoise, lopunny, ambipom, azumarill, milotic, blaziken
Vernon
Average Mr. Chwe. Sometimes he’ll compete in tournaments if he’s bored or one of his friend’s drags him around. His team gets odd looks given he picked a few because they make him laugh but ngl they love him and are shockingly good in battle.
team: sudowoodo, slugma, squirtle, munchlax, mr. rime, combusken
Chan
Living his ash ketchum fantasy. Next champion but Seungcheol keeps threatening to come out of retirement just to fuck with him. Josh sought him out just to KO his team before he even reached the first gym town. Hoshi found him on a random beach and let him win just so when he got to his gym Hoshi could destroy his team several times before Chan managed to land a single attack.
team: ivysaur, ninetales, krookodile, shelgon, gyarados, larvitar
© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.
#svt fluff#svt smut#svt crack#seventeen fluff#seventeen smut#seventeen crack#seventeen#choi seungcheol#yoon jeonghan#joshua hong#wen junhui#kwon soonyoung#jeon wonwoo#lee jihoon#lee seokmin#kim mingyu#xu minghao#boo seungkwan#hansol vernon chwe#lee dino#🫡 highvern
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HUSH | MYG - ONE
pairing: rockstar!yoongi x female reader | mutual disdain - lovers (but also strangers - lovers? kinda?)
premise: in which you work for your brothers band by day and accidentally anonymously sext his bandmate on the regular by night! whoops !!
wc: 17.5k
for more details, pls see the master list (x)
hush is written in two formats: messaging transcripts and my regular writing style
warnings: we're sexting, straight off the bat!! love that for our hush couple!! allusions to sending nudes, mentions of blueballing lmao, sex toys, general masturbation malarky, mentions of ass play <33, they video call during finales (back camera only!!!), yoongi has a massive cock, like im talking humongous, so BIG (and factually accurate!!) they're switchy aka he tries dom and she's too much of a brat that he folds, he is whiney and needy and obsessed, and she enjoys that! you get to fill in the gaps as if you're really sexting him, lucky you <33 there's also exactly (1) near foot job, a needy jk, (1) banana milk mention, a playfight, miscommunication, a mysterious night that will never be mentioned in conversation. oh yeah and yoongi and you don't realise you're sexting one another ! oops!!!! yoongi is uncircumcised cause ik some people care about that?? just my preference when writing, imagine what u like! no *actual* smut in this one... just... much sexting!
before you read: please read these for a little context on the story - the app (x) and the band (x)
minors dni!!!
New Hush Crush in your Secret Circle!
D4m0cl3s
10:43PM
D4m0cl3s:
hey, stranger
Cl3m3ntin3:
well hello there
how are you??
D4m0cl3s:
i'm all good. yourself?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah, yeah, im all good
just tryna figure out this damn app, lmao
D4m0cl3s:
you new around these parts?
Cl3m3ntin3:
i am indeed
you've taken my secret circle virginity
lucky you x
D4m0cl3s:
oh shit
well, i am honoured
i can be your guide to all things hush x
Cl3m3ntin3:
oh, i seeeeee
an expert, are we? ;)
D4m0cl3s:
just realised how tragic it is to be a self-proclaimed dating app expert, so... no
not an expert
just.... well versed?
Cl3m3ntin3:
hahaha sureeee
so, tell me, mr hush expert, how do these conversations usually go
D4m0cl3s:
okay, 1: not an expert
and 2: just general chit chat
get an idea of what you're both looking for
stuff like that
Cl3m3ntin3:
1: keep telling yourself that, babe
and 2: what are you looking for?
D4m0cl3s:
1: calling me babe, already? score.
2: a girl who calls me babe.
Cl3m3ntin3:
looks like my work here is done, then ;)
seeeeeeya x
D4m0cl3s:
no
don't go
stay
i think we'll get along
tell me what you're looking for
Cl3m3ntin3:
a man who begs for my attention
so looks like your work here is done, too ;)
D4m0cl3s:
well, aren't we just a match made in heaven?
Cl3m3ntin3:
hell*
definitely a match made in hell
D4m0cl3s:
you a sinner?
Cl3m3ntin3:
would you like me to be?
D4m0cl3s:
tempting...
but no
Cl3m3ntin3:
shame
maybe we are after different things after all
D4m0cl3s:
woaaah, i never said that
i was just trying to be a gentleman
take things slow
be respectful
Cl3m3ntin3:
it's anonymous, babe
i didn't sign up for hush looking to be wined and dined or to be treated like a lady
quite the opposite, actually
so you don't need to worry about tarnishing your reputation, or whatever
your secrets are safe with me ;)
D4m0cl3s:
1. i couldn't give a shit about my reputation
and 2. it's just that people are on this app for different reasons
don't wanna assume everyone is after the same thing
Cl3m3ntin3:
1. untouchable, are you?
and 2. well, im pretty sure you know what i'm here for
and if it's not abundantly obvious: nothing serious. it's late, and i'm bored. what's a girl to do in those kinds of situations? play all alone? boringgg.
my cards are on the table, damocles
you're up.
D4m0cl3s:
untouchable...something like that
and fine
if you really wanna know
i'm not looking for a girl to take home to my mother
Cl3m3ntin3:
good
mothers don't tend to like me all that much
D4m0cl3s:
no?
Cl3m3ntin3:
nah
fathers on the other hand?
fucking love me
D4m0cl3s:
and you wonder why the mothers hate you?
Cl3m3ntin3:
oh, no
im fully aware it's because im the only thing that can get their husbands' perpetually flaccid cocks hard :)
D4m0cl3s:
jesus christ
you really are built for sin, aren't you?
Cl3m3ntin3:
uh-huh :)
fancy a dance with the devil?
D4m0cl3s:
not tonight
but you've got me interested
Cl3m3ntin3:
</3 can't believe you're blue balling me
D4m0cl3s:
trust me
im blue balling myself
i've got an early schedule in the morning
can't stay up all night entertaining some girl on a fucking app ;)
Cl3m3ntin3:
okay 1: ouch, if anyone was doing the entertaining, it would be me
and 2: prove it
D4m0cl3s:
prove it?
Cl3m3ntin3:
uh-huh
prove that you're blue balling yourself
D4m0cl3s:
again, jesus christ
you are something else
Cl3m3ntin3:
thank you :D
now...
proof
D4m0cl3s:
say please
Cl3m3ntin3:
you want me to get down on my knees, too?
D4m0cl3s:
would be appreciated
Cl3m3ntin3:
fine
D4m0cl3s:
watch your attitude, clementine
Cl3m3ntin3:
sighhh
hate you for this already >:(
pretty please could you show me your cock so i know you're hard and not just lying <;33
D4m0cl3s:
see, that wasn't so hard, was it?
good girl
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
Cl3m3ntin3:
holy shit
D4m0cl3s:
i might keep secrets, but i never lie
let's talk tomorrow, alright?
Cl3m3ntin3:
noted
and tomorrow
for sure
sweet dreams, damocles x
D4m0cl3s:
night night, clementine x
[3 Months Later]
KSPO DOME
Seoul, South Korea
♪ // Hush - The Marías
"You'll choke if you're not careful – and how many times do I need to tell you? Put that damn phone away!"
If Park Jimin wasn't so warm in his tone with you—effervescent in his kindness, bubbling over like lightly shaken soda—you'd tell him to kiss your ass.
He stands in the doorway, a pretty smile on his plump lips. There's something about him—his eyes, you think—that subvert all his softness. Makes him quite the menace. If you hadn't been there to witness his high-school bowl cut era, you never would believed it had happened. He's too cool. It transcends his current being. Is effortless.
In all black, a pair of Chelsea boots soundtrack his arrival no matter where he is. A little scuffed, he's in need of a new pair—but they'll be a post-show bonus treat. From Jimin, to Jimin. Congratulations on a job well done.
With a subtle roll of your eyes, you swallow down the blueberry you'd been holding between your teeth in a dingy backroom of Seoul's KSPO Dome—the venue of choice for The Scouts' final hometown show. The brickwork remains exposed, grey concrete blocks a dull backdrop for the catering tables.
"Sorry mum," you banter, even though you really shouldn't. There's a glint to your eyes beneath the awkward spotlighting that really isn't preferable for the buffet-style display behind you. Fruits, snacks, it's not a bad spread—but it's got nothing on the rider you know The Scouts ask for ahead of every show.
But why shouldn't they? What the boys want, the boys get – and they've worked damn hard to get it.
He nods towards the lanyard around your neck and reminds you of this, then holds up his.
Park Jimin, it reads. Senior Tour Manager.
"Not on the clock, trouble. I'm still your boss."
"And don't I know it," you offer him a smile, still not a huge fan of the dynamic the pair of you portray at work.
You've known Jimin since the tooth fairy was leaving coins under his pillow. It's sorta hard to take him seriously when you've experienced as much life together as you have.
The way he groans when you reach for yet another blueberry is testament to the friendship you share; the kind of found siblings written about in books but rarely found in reality. There's a sanctity there. He's got your back, and he knows you'll always pick up the slack when he needs you to.
For all your difficulties in the short-term, he knows you pull it out of the bag come the time results are needed.
Knocking the blueberry into your mouth with a grin, you use your tongue to toss it to your back teeth. It's a teeny tiny little fruit. You're pretty sure you could swallow it whole without repercussion.
In fact, the reason you were so engrossed in your phone is because you were about to start a discussion with a... friend about something else you could swallow, instead – but you won't tell Jimin that. He'd throw up, probably, and then it'd be your job to clean it up.
"Yeah, yeah," you nod, locking your phone and tucking it into your back pocket. "Sorry boss. Where do you need me?"
He narrows his eyes at your sarcastic use of formalities, but knows when to pick his battles with you. Instead, he knocks his head to the side and heads for the doorway, indicating for you to follow suit.
Just like he knows when to pick his battles with you, you also know when to pick yours with him.
"You've a job that people would likely kill for," he ribs, not really minding all that much. It's downtime between the off-stage rush, so there really isn't all that much to be doing—but you could at least pretend to make it look like you're working your ass off. "But you're too busy on your bloody phone. Head to hair and make-up. The next VCR segment is smaller so I need you in position pronto."
"Sure, sure," you nod like a bobbing head figurine, stealing a handful of blueberries from the catering table and heading on your way.
Jimin watches on with a curious sense of bewilderment. You're the best runner they have, by quite some margin, but also seemingly the one that's least eager to please—and by doing so, they seem to like you even more. It's an odd paradox, but it is one that you use to your advantage. Play a little dumb; wow them all when you continually and quite impressively exceed their expectations. Work smarter, not harder.
It's a work ethic that runs in the family. They shouldn't be surprised by it, not really.
The corridor you head down is flanked by sterile white lights. The only thing that's brighter are the faux smiles of entertainment execs and slimy media men, who are all after their fifteen minutes of favour—because it's not fame they'll get by rubbing shoulders with the boys on stage; it's a boost up. Something to talk big about in board room meetings.
A humble brag; a subtle flex, that is neither humble nor subtle.
Your lanyard taps against the buckle of your belt as you jog towards the stage. A cute little pat-pat-pat and jingle of keys from your beltloop soundtracks it, which you're thankful for. It covers the heavy breathing.
Just shy of the staircase leading up to the platform, which is almost shaking from the exertion of the performers on it, you hanger left into the room beside the dressing room.
While the dressing room is a dingy, theatrical maximalist's dream, the make-up department has a shell for a room. Bright white lights are overhead, to make sure the boys look amazing—which they always do regardless. Personally, you think this is all overkill. Takes away some of the authenticity. People swoon for The Scouts and the fact they're walking, talking hot messes. When the 'mess' is carefully applied with tiny brushes and kept in place with setting spray, it just doesn't hit the same.
Still, the fans are none the wiser, so who cares? Let them think Jeon Jungkook has flawless skin after an all-night bender.
Annoyingly, he normally does – but that's beyond the point.
"Here she is," Jinyu grins as you walk through the door with a little huff, immediately picking up a setlist by the door to fan your face.
Ethereal as usual, hair pulled back with a claw clip and a grown-out fringe framing her delicate features, Jinyu's mask pulled down to rest beneath her chin. A make-up brush is tucked behind her ear and half a dozen hair grips are biting onto the sleeve of her shirt, ready for the rush that will come with the next VCR break.
At least one of you is, you think.
She always is, though. Best of the bunch, she's the senior make-up artist, and has an example to lead by.
The rest of the make-up artists sit together in the far corner, nattering amongst themselves with far more animation than their hushed tones should really allow for. It's not an uncommon occurrence.
They like to pretend that they don't want anyone to know their business, but you've heard it all.
You could share, in quite some detail, how Jungkook likes to look at his regular make-up artist's lips whenever she's applying balm to his.
Apparently, the tension is 'off the charts', but he's 'too shy to do anything'. Always asks for balm, even when he doesn't need it. Or so she says.
You roll your eyes whenever you hear her brag about it, 'cause you've also heard the conversations that the boys have had behind closed doors. You know that if Jungkook is gonna be after any of the make-up artists, it's Jinyu—but the ring on her fourth finger and the toddler she sometimes brings to work on the quiet days is enough for him to stay away.
The lifestyles lived by The Scouts wouldn't allow for any of them to be playing 'Daddy'—though the girls who've squeezed into their tour bus bunks would probably beg to differ.
It's not just Jungkook who they like to gossip about—although he is the current flavour of the month, ever since he got that bloody lip ring.
In all honesty, you've heard so much shite about all five members that it's a miracle the girls still have jobs.
A new addition to the team since the overwhelming success of the last album run, the record label are keen on The Scouts keeping up their appearances. Gone are the days of sleeping in eyeliner and waking up with panda eyes—now it's carefully placed with precision beneath their tired lashlines, bloodshot eyes still bleary from the night before.
According to the last make-up room rumour mill, Tae is the type to send a late-night text to a handful of girls at once, just to see who bites (of which they all do, of course), and Yoongi is the type to sit silently in the make-up chair, only to make some absurdly unhinged comment as he leaves for the stage.
It's what they're talking about as you and Jinyu exchange glances with comically raised brows and wide eyes.
"Like, the whole time, he must have just been sat there, thinking about it," one of them swoons. "Didn't say a single word, and then just said 'your perfume smells nice, today,' as he was leaving."
The way they giggle makes your skin crawl. It's like they're constantly trying to one-up one another, using the men they work for as tools to do so – and you can't really blame them. As much as you may hate it, it's a man's world, especially in this industry. If you've gotta climb a few greasy poles to reach the top, then more power to those who choose to do so.
"He definitely spent the whole time thinking about it."
"What perfume are you wearing? I wouldn't mind him saying that to me..."
"God, he's such a dream boat."
"Something about him lately is just... ugh, off the charts. We need to stop styling his hair like that. It's too good."
You don't mean to be so judgemental – you've got a pair of eyes. Know exactly why they insist on giggling about their delusions.
Thing is, you can deal with the Jungkook gossip. Tae, Yoongi, Namjoon – whatever.
It's when they start talking about Jin and fail to hide the fact they're doing so that you're reminded of exactly why it grinds your gears so much.
In fact, quite frankly, you've a desire to pick up one of Jinyu's rattail combs and shove it into your ear. Would hope it'd impale your brain. You're not really sure how deep you'd have to go, but it would beat hearing them fawn over your older brother.
You've heard things being said about his hands that no younger sister should ever have to. Quite repulsive, actually.
Instead, you grimace, trying to gain back your breath following your sprint (of which Jimin would call a leisurely pace) up the corridor.
"Why does catering have to be so far from the dressing room?!"
Jinyu watches on with great amusement as you rest your hands on your knees, bending as if you've just run a 10k. Dramatics run in the family, or so it would seem.
"I dunno, babe," Jinyu purrs, her smile present just like it always is, voice a little extra loud to drown out the noise of the witches gathered in the corner. "Why was my favourite runner over in catering in the first place?"
You let your eyes narrow, her teasing grin only serving as a reminder that you really should know better than to keep on going back to the blueberry stash. It's not like you aren't allowed them. They'd all go to waste otherwise, so if anything, you're snacking on behalf of the company.
"You couldda just had them call one of the other runners back," you pout, knowing that it never would have been the case. She likes to make you work a little bit harder than the others, 'cause she knows you feel like you have more to prove.
Jinyu laughs, and passes you some hair grips to hook onto your sleeves for later. "You're the one who said you wanted to establish yourself! What was it you said at the start of these shows?"
You drop down onto the sofa next to her makeup station, tucking your legs up on the seat. The vibration of the music on stage pours through the walls at such a volume you're surprised you can even sustain a conversation.
"I'm gonna show them," Jinyu imitates with far more dramatic flair than you think is really necessary—but it is accurate. "I'll prove to them all that nepotism had nothing to do with me getting hired. Who, me?" She gasps."The baby sister of our very own World Wide Handsome? Hired because my brother pulled some strings? Never!"
"Fuck off," you laugh, tossing one of the sofa pillows towards her—but she catches it with ease because of course she does. Jinyu is everything you could ever aspire to be, hand-eye coordination included. The girls in the corner hush their conversation and begin to take an interest in your conversation. You ignore them, shrugging as you say, "It's not like I have a first-class degree in stage management or anything like that."
Sure, you have the qualifications—but you also aren't stupid. You know that the job is a favour amongst family. The job market these days is non-existent and while being Jin's sibling had afforded you a follower count worthy of an influencer, you need a purpose in life. It's no coincidence that you both showed an interest in the music industry—he's just far better suited to the performance side of it.
It would have been foolish to turn down the opportunity when Jin had mentioned it at a family dinner.
You're low-level, just a runner for now, but it's nice to be somewhere in which people don't give a shit about your famous brother. To most people here, he's a coworker, a colleague.
Outside of work, your entire personality to anyone you first meet is apparently being related to him. In all honestly, it's the same even in a professional capacity. Had started lying on your resume about your name, just so he wasn't the topic of conversation for all of your job interviews.
Remarkably, this is the only job that hasn't cared about him being your brother.
"Whatever you say. That's our cue. Off your arse," Jinyu says, her demeanour switching as the sound of the final chorus begins to simmer down. You don't need to be told twice, getting to your feet and into position beside her. "Can you be my right hand?"
♪ // Only Angel - Harry Styles
"Sure," you nod, expecting nothing less. It's not much, just putting some hair grips in place while she touches up their stage makeup, and switching out brushes as and when she needs them. Just enough to be helpful without getting in her way.
The girls in the corner follow suit, standing behind their chairs, eager to see the men in all of their sweaty, worn-out glory. They've made no secret of their admiration, which is why Jinyu is such a breath of fresh air. A fair few years older than the boys, she's happily married and doesn't care to swoon over them.
Like a force of nature, The Scouts rumble into the room - lips ajar, chest heaving, hair damp with sweat.
Jungkook is first, slamming his body down into one of the chairs, in dire need of something other than the piss-warm beer he's got up on stage. Tossing him a bottle of water from the countertop behind you, he catches it with ease. Smirks. Looks at you with all the adrenaline he's stolen from the eyes of the fans that adore him. Legs wide, bottle undone with one hand, there's a challenge to his gaze. Performing is a fuckin' drug to Jeon Jungkook - you just wish he didn't keep such a fucked-out look on that pretty face of his whenever he finishes.
So yeah, maybe you do get why the girls chitchat in the way that they do.
The rest of the band follow in, equally trashed, in the best possible way. Taehyung's shirt has miraculously lost all of its buttons, and Namjoon's T-shirt is now slung around his shoulders like a towel. His hair drips with sweat, arms swollen from the exertion of the last few days of shows.
Behind them, Yoongi strolls with an air of arrogance he carries off ever so well. Indifferent. Just as covered in sweat, but without the entire body exhaustion the other Scouts are displaying. He's too cool for his own good. Doesn't look at you. Looks right through you. Asshole.
And then finally, presumably because he was too busy flirting with the audience, the Scout Leader himself makes his grand entrance. Plastic cup in hand, he's nursing a Jack and Coke. Doesn't see the point in all this make-up malarky, when he knows he's just gonna sweat it off anyway. Would much rather actually take this time to recharge, even if just for a second. Thought that adding VCR's to shows would allow them more time for that, and is sorely disappointed by the reality of it.
"Fucking hell, has it been raining?" You deadpan when he slinks down into the chair opposite you and Jinyu. "Y'know, you should get some of those sweat-reduction botox injections. Would work wonders."
He looks at you with disdain that clearly tells you to fuck off. He stays silent. Kicks your shin, instead. You kick him right back.
"I swear the pair of you are worse than my two-year-old," Jinyu sighs as she drapes a towel around Jin's shoulders.
"Someone needs to humble him," you shrug.
"Someone needs to fire you," he says right back, not realising that Jinyu had passed you her hair mister, earning himself a spritz of water to the face.
Effective immediately, your hair mister privileges are taken away. Jinyu's pleasant smile looks almost stern as she takes it, putting it down on the dressing table with a thud.
"We've got three minutes," she reminds you.
"Sorry boss," you quip, not wanting her to actually get pissed off at you. There are certain liberties you can take, but you're supposed to be helping her, not a hindrance.
There's subdued energy in the room now that the boys have settled, not wanting to waste their fuel anywhere other than the stage. As you push grips into Jin's hair, ready for hairspray, you watch the room in the mirror view.
Taehyung is on his phone, not paying any attention to what's going on, his makeup artist working silently. Jungkook is patting down his own face with powder while his stylist teases his hair just right.
You look at him for a little too long, his eyes coming to meet yours in the mirror. Despite the pitch-black darkness of his irises, there's a lightness in his gaze—one that has your skin feeling all prickly and hot, eyes darting back down to Jin's hair.
You think you can hear him laughing to himself.
It's confirmed when Jimin waltzes into the room, clipboard in hand and asks, "What's got you giggling, Kook?"
He lies, and says he's thinking about his dog, Bam, just to save you from embarrassment.
You glance back up to where his eyes are already waiting for yours, brows lifted as he smirks. You make vague shapes with your mouth as if you're telling him to 'fuck off,' which only serves to make him laugh again, a little harder this time. He keeps it quiet, shoulders bobbing up and down, his smile magnetic.
It's all in good fun. There's been a running joke for years now that you'll date Jungkook just to piss off Jin.
You already know his make-up artist will twist that moment to her own liking, making up some bullshit about him laughing with her, but it's barely worth your energy.
Beside him, Jimin vies for attention from Yoongi, who looks like he's in need of a good nap.
There's a sheen to his skin, sweat dripping down his neck thanks to his make-up artists failing to grab him a towel. You call for Jimin's attention, and once you have it, you chuck him one of the spare towels over your shoulder. He tilts his head in confusion, but when you nod towards Yoongi, he understands.
The towel is passed along, a simple 'hm?' from Yoongi to question where it came from. Jimin nods towards you, and Yoongi takes a second to observe what you're doing. You're not looking at him, because quite frankly, he intimidates you.
He never used to.
In fact, you used to get along quite well—but you're vaguely aware of the fact he doesn't approve of nepotism, and knows that the only reason you secured this job is because of Jin.
It makes you feel a little embarrassed. A little ashamed. None of the other boys seem to care, but it puts you on edge with Yoongi. You try extra hard—be extra diligent—with him. He seems to be the one you seek validation from the most, despite him being the one you interact with the least.
In the corner of the room, Taehyung and Namjoon discuss the next song. A change from yesterday's set, they've been switching up songs so that no one really knows what to expect next. Have to keep things fresh. Keep their names trending. Get those streams. Meet industry targets set by suits with no real understanding of what it means to make art.
It's admirable how much they cram into such little time. Masters of their craft, it's an honour to see them work. It's without a doubt that they've earned their success.
You kind of get why Yoongi is hesitant of you. You feel underqualified, as if you haven't worked hard enough to earn the role you've been given—but you have. You have the credentials. Jin opened the door for you, yes, but you're the one who had the key in the first place.
You're distracted by your thoughts when your phone buzzes in your back pocket. The vibration hums just a little bit longer than any of your other app notifications, so you know exactly what it is. Know who it is.
Kind of.
There's a little bit of bashful shame that washes over your features, fearful someone will hear the buzz and recognise its length—not that anyone would notice the soft purr in the back pocket of your jeans, cushioned by your ass. It's just as incognito as the man who's sending you a message is.
Your phone buzzes a few times. Seven, to be precise.
Needy, you think to yourself—but it pleases you. He never fails to disappoint.
Well, rarely. You've been waiting half an hour for a message from him, and it's so bloody typical that it would come through when you're finally busy.
"Positions!" Jimin calls from the corridor, letting the boys know their rest time is up.
Jinyu casts an authoritative eye over the boys, checking to make sure they all look okay before sending them on their way.
"Hair grip," she reminds Jungkook's stylist, who had left a tiny little clip in his fringe. She flusters, embarrassed at missing such a detail, but Jungkook just pulls it from his fringe without much care as he puts his phone back on its wireless charging port.
Namjoon follows suit, reminded that his phone was in his back pocket, tossing it on one of the dressing room tables. Yoongi tucks his phone into a bag by the sofa, and Tae does the same.
They file out in good spirits, hyping one another up for the final part of the show, staff patting their backs and cheering on words of encouragement. It's always bittersweet for them; their final performances are their favourites, but they're also the ones in which they know they'll be saying farewell—and no one likes goodbyes.
You watch with fondness as the stage-cam plays on the TV in the corner of the room. There's something about the five of them together, on stage, surrounded by an ocean of unadulterated love and affection, that feels like watching magic. It's the kind of thing that only happens once in a lifetime. You're thankful you get to witness it in all its glory. You'll probably watch the final few songs from the side of the stage, just to feel even an ounce of what the boys do.
Sinking back into the sofa, the scent of hot, sweaty men clouding the air, you pull your phone from your pocket—and sure enough, you're met with the notifications you've been hoping for.
New Secret from D4m0cl3s
D4m0cl3s:
late shift tonight, sorry
one of the girls on my team made a joke about how tense i seem to be
said i need to get laid...
i told her she needs to mind her own fucking business
but... it also got me thinking about you
i finish in an hour
give me a reason not to go out and get laid
You smile, as the heat that pricked at your skin when Jungkook caught your eye earlier that evening returns.
Part of you toys with the idea of 'what if it's him?' His phone is face down on its charger, all of his secrets hidden from the world.
Part of you hopes it is, just for the knowledge of it irritating the fuck out of Jin and the girls who are sat in the corner, gossiping about his giggling earlier.
Realistically, you know it's not. It's impossible.
You've been sent enough pictures from your Damocles boy of his hands doing unthinkable things to know it can't be Jungkook. They're free of ink, pristine and pale, a little pink in their tone, and the only clue you have of who the fuck you spend so much time talking to.
"Where are you off to now?!" Jinyu asks as you head for the door, somehow surprised that you're dipping again.
"Catering," you lie, knowing full well you're going to find somewhere private enough to give your Damocles boy exactly what he's after.
"You'll turn into a blueberry," she warns you. You hold back a laugh, and resist the urge to tell her that what you're actually about to turn into is a clementine.
There are half a dozen doors down the corridor, but you slide into the first storage cupboard you come across. It's empty, and there's a lock on it, which is all you really need.
If you'd have stayed in the dressing room, it would have been a tomato you turned into, instead. Your cheeks would flush scarlet red, just like they did when the familiar purr of a Hush notification chimed far too loudly for something that's supposed to be all about keeping secrets.
You'd take a second. Wouldn't want to check your own phone, 'cause then all the girls would know you'd received a message from a hook-up app.
But you're not in the room. Nor is your phone.
And they all hear it regardless.
The girls who gossip pause, wondering if they've all heard the same thing. Jinyu is oblivious, happily married and unaware of what Hush even really is, let alone the vibrate tone.
One, two, three messages ping their way from your phone to his, but you're none the wiser. Haven't got a clue.
It's been three months, and neither one of you has any desire to disclose your identity to the other. You're serving a purpose; fulfilling a need.
Why ruin a good thing?
You aren't 'good', nor opposed to being ruined—but that's neither really here nor there. You've got a system that works, and it would be foolish to change things now.
You return to the dressing room, unaware that your phone isn't the only device within those four walls littered with pictures of your bare chest. In fact, everyone is unaware. It's your own little secret that you don't even realise you're keeping, and one that you intend on taking to the grave.
"No blueberries?" Jinyu asks as you return empty-handed.
"Got distracted," you lie, as you settle back into the sofa, a pleasant air surrounding you. On the screen, the boys are laughing, indulging in the energy of their fans for the final time that evening.
"By?" she presses, curious as to why you're looking all smitten as you watch the screen.
It's got nothing to do with any of them.
Or so you think.
It's actually got a whole lot to do with one of them.
You just don't realise it yet.
And so you simply shrug, and say, "Secret."
"C'mon," Jungkook grins, eyes still swathed by the glow of mobile phone flashlights held up during the encore, even a whole thirty minutes after the show is over. He tugs on your arm, but you remain fixed in place, shaking your head. "We're all going, aren't we?"
The question is addressed to the boys, but he's still looking at you. You wish he wouldn't. Not when he looks like that.
His lips are wet, freshly licked, glistening like his silver lip ring, and his hair is still a little damp around the nape of his neck. There's something about him that looks a lot like magic. It's a wonder you haven't fallen under his spell.
"Uh-huh," Jin nods, tossing back the dregs of his final jack and coke. He's not yet run the rider dry, but it doesn't matter. He'll take the bottle with him, and wherever they end up won't turn them away, for they know he'll buy more – though the bar will likely comp it through. "You can ride with me."
Jungkook's grin widens. He loves it when a plan comes together.
♪ // No Shame - Five Seconds of Summer
"C'mon," Jungkook says again. Is quiet in his tone. Persuasive. "I'll miss you if you're not there."
"Is that supposed to make me feel a certain type of way?" You deadpan. "Try it on one of the makeup girlies. They'll eat it right up."
"Don't wanna try it on one of them," he whines a little, nudging his shoulder against yours. "It's our final show. We're celebrating."
"Your final show," you remind him. "I've got a gig next week. Some European group-"
"Don't care," he says. "You're ours for the night. Come party."
You roll your eyes back so hard it feels like you might have just seen your frontal lobe, but there's a smile on your lips, too. It's nice to feel wanted; appreciated.
The invite isn't extended to the make-up artists, who are busy packing away, hoping that Jungkook's neediness will shift to them instead. It won't, but they can keep dreaming.
"If I come - and it's a strong if - you're paying," you bargain.
All you really want is to get home as quickly as you possibly can. Had even considered ordering a taxi before the boys had finished their set, but knew Jimin would have a field day with that one. Might even dock your pay just to be a little git.
You've a date with your phone, but the draw of real life is just too tempting.
It's difficult, because you know that you should want to go out, want to celebrate the fact you can actually go out now that the shows are done... but a random dude sending dick pics somehow seems to be more appealing.
It's tragic, really. Something that you never wanna have to explain. You think you'd rather die. Are shameful of your shamelessness. Ironic.
And right on time, a buzz in your back pocket rumbles through you like a crack of lightning; burns your cheeks a pretty posy pink.
Jungkook's ignorance of your reaction is a blessing. You're not sure how you would've explained it away - though knowing Jungkook, he'd have used your blush to wind Jin up. Attribute it to himself. Play into the idea of you hooking up with him.
It's not like you've never considered it – but lately, it's been hard to 'consider' anyone other than your Damocles boy.
You're reminded of him now – his thick, pink knuckles, and his notably thicker, marginally less pink cock- and how he said that someone on his team told him he needed to get laid. You can't help but think the same for yourself.
It's not healthy, the way you're so drawn to the excitement a few pixels can give you. Is stopping you from living your real life.
There's an unease in your stomach; guilt, almost.
So you groan, knock your head back, and concede. "Fine!"
"Attagirl!" Jungkook beams as he pulls his phone from his pocket, checking the time and pushing it back into his jeans again. He reaches over for his bag, the scent of his aftershave catching you off guard. There's something about him... Something you know you should ignore, but are finding harder and harder to do so with each and every passing day. "We good to go?"
"Who else is coming?" You hum, heading to the coat rack to pick up your jacket. Tae is leaning against the door frame, shaking his head.
"Not me. Got a date with my bed," he says, ending his sentence with a yawn. He covers it with the back of his hand, but it's so loud you almost find yourself yawning too.
"Pussy," Jungkook scoffs. "Final show and-"
"Me either," Yoongi says as he walks past, not looking in your direction. The jacket that hangs around his broad shoulders is dark, just like his mood always seems these days.
You're not exactly sure when he decided that you weren't worthy of his time, but you're used to it now. Sucks, but such is life. He's always been a little like this, but it's your first time being on the receiving end of his coldness.
"Hot date with your bed?" You tease, hoping to get a little bit of warmth from him.
As he reaches the door, it surprises you both when he turns to look at you. There's a stillness to him; the slow evaporation of cloudy breaths in sub-zero temperatures. His eyes meet yours, and drop down your body. Pause when they land on your palms, and the phone that's being held in them.
His gaze returns to your eyes, fast quicker this time, and then he shrugs. "Yeah, something like that."
He doesn't wait for a reply. You don't intend on giving him one, either.
"And then there were 5," Jungkook sighs. "Fuck it, let's go."
STAIRWAY BAR
Itaewon-ro, Yongsan-Gu
♪ // Heaven and Back - Chase Atlantic
There's something sordid about the place you're in. Could be the neon lights on the walls, could be the walls lined with stacks upon stacks of old vinyl records. Could be the birdcages where lampshades should be, or it could be the worn-out leather sofas you're on in the corner of the room. Could be the punters, and how they're all wrapped in their own personal brand of sin, too busy to notice the living legends walking amongst them.
Truthfully, it's why the boys like places like this. They become one with the shadows. Can hide. Do things in secret that other people do in public. It's not like they're actively looking for trouble, but they can't help but seem to find it. Whether it be women, drugs, booze, it doesn't matter – they've each got a kryptonite.
Regretfully, you know Jin's: women who are no good for him. Blonde, brunette, foreign, local, he doesn't give a shit. All that matters is they know who he is, and they want him in inexplicable ways.
Credit where it's due, they all have conviction. All get exactly what they want – but he's easy. Sluts himself out for the fun of it; for the novelty of being a 'rockstar'.
It's gotten worse since their last big award show win. He's getting careless. Has never been one to hand out NDAs, but the kind of people he's attracting now really should have gag orders – issue is, Jin's always far more focused on finding out how sensitive their gag reflex is.
Namjoon's is his inability to say 'no'. Afterparty? He's there. Toke on a joint that has no business being in the hands of such a high-profile man? Go on, then. An upper before a show? Don't mind if I do.
It's a disaster waiting to happen. Anywhere else and you wouldn't worry. In the States, it'd be a non-issue. Expected, even.
The laws aren't so forgiving, here. One bad decision and that's it. Jail time. But sir, I'm a rockstar, pwetty pwease let me go, won't work on a court judge, and even if it did, the court of public opinion and trial by social media would run him into the ground regardless.
Unfair? You think so, yes. Just how life goes? Also yes.
Though they all push the limits to a certain extent, it's Jungkook that's the biggest risk of all. He's the youngest. Got girls lining around the block just to have a look at him. Is bad in a way that girls convince themselves is good. I can fix him. All starry-eyed and sex appeal, there's nothing innocent about him. Nothing.
S'why you know better than to indulge in his flirt – because that's all it ever is. A limit to push. A boundary to break. A challenge he wants to win.
In quite the contrast, Taehyung keeps his boundaries watertight. Doesn't stray, doesn't overindulge. Goes home to a partner who'd give him the world, if he asked – but he won't. See, Kim Taehyung already has the world. Not his career (though it could be argued), not his money, not his fame. They're perks, sure – but his world waits up for him with his favourite snacks on the kitchen counter, ready to hear all about the show.
It's only the close circle that knows. The make-up girls don't have a clue. Jinyu is well aware, but not because it's ever been discussed. She just knows. Is intuitive, like that. Probably knows more about the boys' business than even Jimin does – and it's his job to know their business.
Though the boys would argue that Yoongi has no weakness, you believe otherwise.
His Achilles heal is found in his solitude. His laissez-faire attitude to the world around him stunts his enjoyment of it, you think. He's never gonna be in his twenties in the biggest band in the world ever again. These days will pass him by, and he's wasting them.
If he were to know you felt this way, he wouldn't dignify you with a response; he'd just show up to even fewer events to spite you. Has no interest in your unsolicited opinions of him.
Because you're wrong about his weaknesses.
While yes, his solitude exacerbates them, it's the silence that nurtures his weaknesses: his regrets. His inability to forget. Forgive. Let things go. He fixates, and it frustrates him to the point of fury.
His kryptonite is not how little he cares. Quite contrary. It's how violently he does care. That's what ties his shoelaces together and trips him up. Gives him a bloody nose. Scrapes his knees. Leaves him bloodied and bruised; pink in his pain.
But that's your kryptonite: your cocksure arrogance in thinking you know everything.
Or at least, that's what Yoongi would tell you, if he were ever to get into this debate with you.
He won't.
Again, you'll think it's because he's laissez-faire. That he doesn't care.
Regretfully, you'll be wrong – but he's the one who simmers over regrets, not you.
"Alright, alright!" You laugh, a little unsteady on your feet as you stand up after god-knows how many shots. Namjoon reaches out to steady you. Glances at Jin as if to say, 'kids, eh?'
You're all fucked. Have had far too much, but you figure that's what nights like these are for – who cares? You're celebrating.
Jin just smiles. Rolls his eyes, then averts his attention to the blonde by the bar who's gonna take your seat as soon as you leave.
Jungkook doesn't notice, cause he's too busy laughing at you.
"Just gonna run to the bathroom," you declare, as if they need to know such details. "Need to pee."
"Bathrooms just round the other side of the projector screen," Jimin tells you, nodding in its direction, 'cause even though it's after hours and he's far too heavily intoxicated, he can't help but be resourceful. That's his kryptonite. Can never switch off. "Just up the stairs."
It's not even like you need direction. Have been to this bar more times than you've had hot dinners.
Jungkook laughs. Thinks you're full of shit.
"Your tolerance is going down in your old age," he teases, as if you're not the same age. "Tactical chunders are for the weak."
You tell him to go fuck himself, and he laughs, all hearty and warm. "Gladly."
Their chatter continues without you. The blonde joins, and so does her friend. Someone's getting lucky tonight, and you're pretty sure it'll be all four of them. Thoughts you'd rather not think, honestly.
Teeny tiny is the bathroom. Cramped. A single cubicle is in working order and the hot tap has been broken for as long as you've been visiting this place. It definitely violates some health and safety codes, but who really gives enough of a shit to report it?
Holding your fingers beneath the already running tap, you check the temperature – as if the hot tap even works – and wait for a moment just to be sure. Icy cold, as always.
Lost in the sensation of the water, you forget for a moment why you're there.
While yeah, you could have a drink from the tap, you could have just gotten water at the bar.
Brain all fuzzy, you can't put your finger on it - until your phone vibrates in your back pocket.
And then suddenly, you remember exactly why you're in the bathroom.
11:37PM
D4m0cl3s:
fuck, you look so good
such a tease
i'll be home as soon as i can be
been thinking about you all night
11:58PM
i'm home
let me know when you're free
00:16AM
you're taking your precious time tonight
00:21AM
what's the deal, huh? tryna get me all frustrated?
00:23AM
it's working
00:39AM
damn maybe that girl on my team was right
maybe i should have just gone out and got laid tonight
01:05AM
really? even me being an asshole isn't working?
is it compliments you want? you know i'll give you them
01:28AM
okay so i actually am a bit worried now, let me know when you're home safe, m'kay?
Cl3m3ntin3:
you know what they say
treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen
D4m0cl3s:
FINALLY
Cl3m3ntin3:
damn, you really are keen aren't you
D4m0cl3s:
you were gone so long i was thinking about watching porn
PORN
you know how long it's been since i watched porn?
Cl3m3ntin3:
if my calculations are correct, about 3 months?
D4m0cl3s:
... you're smart, clem
but also so mean, my god
got me all riled up and kept me waiting HOURS
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm sorry
i'm here now
and i'm thinking about you, too
D4m0cl3s:
are you still out? at work?
Cl3m3ntin3:
uh-huh
out
not at work, tho
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
fucking hell, clem
your tits look so good
come here
wanna hold them
Cl3m3ntin3:
give me an address and i'll get in a taxi right now
we can keep the lights off, never have to see each other
keep things anon
but i gottaaaa feel your hands on my chest
D4m0cl3s:
i wish i could
wish i could just fuck you like we both know you deserved to be fucked
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm not stopping you
D4m0cl3s:
we both know that isn't entirely true
Cl3m3ntin3:
do we?
give me an address
doesn't have to be yours
hotel sex is always fun
D4m0cl3s:
i have a feeling all sex with you will be fun
location is irrelevant
Cl3m3ntin3:
well i'm currently in a bathroom stall hiding from my friends just so i can reply to you
you reckon a bathroom stall would be fun?
D4m0cl3s:
i reckon i love a challenge
Cl3m3ntin3:
well i mean
i could always send you my current location...
D4m0cl3s:
tempting...
but no.
Cl3m3ntin3:
you're your own worst cock block, damocles boy
D4m0cl3s:
it's called deprivation, baby
yanno, kind of like what you did when you kept me waiting for hours
gonna make you want me so badly it hurts
Cl3m3ntin3:
i already do
which is why you should come and put me out of my misery
D4m0cl3s:
you're with your friends, you're fine ;)
actually
you drinking?
Cl3m3ntin3:
a little
D4m0cl3s:
a little?
Cl3m3ntin3:
...a lottle?
D4m0cl3s:
the fact you just said lottle tells me all i need to know lmao
you know the drill, clem
Cl3m3ntin3:
:((((( noooooo
D4m0cl3s:
stop pouting
Cl3m3ntin3:
i can't :(((
D4m0cl3s:
you can
i meant what i said about no drunk messages
only want you doing this when your head is clear
Cl3m3ntin3:
my head is clear
and my head thinks you should stop thinking with yours actually
start thinking with your dick instead :)
D4m0cl3s:
fine then
let's see how clear your head is
send me a video of you walking in a straight line
Cl3m3ntin3:
you just wanna see my feet
perv
D4m0cl3s:
video
Cl3m3ntin3:
fineeee, fucking fine!
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
oh yeah fuck that clem, you're pissed as a fart hahaha
i'm not even sure you tried to walk in a straight line, you wobbly mess
cute laugh tho
get some water in you
go back to your friends
we can talk in the morning
Cl3m3ntin3:
but i wanna talk now :(
missed u today
D4m0cl3s:
missed u too
will miss you tonight
but i'll wait
Cl3m3ntin3:
:( whyyy do you have to be so good all the time :(
D4m0cl3s:
because we both know that the second you send me a picture of your perfect little pussy, i won't be good
Cl3m3ntin3:
now?
D4m0cl3s:
no, baby
in the morning, okay?
drink some water.
Cl3m3ntin3:
fine
D4m0cl3s:
watch your attitude
Cl3m3ntin3:
sighhh :((
D4m0cl3s:
don't
you'll make me feel bad
just get yourself home and to bed
and you can wake up to this tomorrow...
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
Cl3m3ntin3:
BRB, sprinting home
D4m0cl3s:
shut up idiot
enjoy your night
lemme know when ur home
Cl3m3ntin3:
okay :(
sweet dreams, damocles boy x
D4m0cl3s:
speak soon, clemmie x
D4m0cl3s is offline
08:58AM
D4m0cl3s:
morning clemmie
Cl3m3ntin3:
hereee he is
was wondering when you'd be up
D4m0cl3s:
been up ages
was wondering if today would finally be the day you message me first ;)
Cl3m3ntin3:
why would i ever do that?
we both know you can't bear to be away from this chat thread for more than a few hours
D4m0cl3s:
your ego never fails to amaze me
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm a product of your creation, damocles boy
you told me last week that i'm the only thing that gets you hard these days
and you expect me not to get an ego?
D4m0cl3s:
hope you know that when i actually get to fuck you, there's no room in my bed for your ego
Cl3m3ntin3:
oh bite me
you're gonna be putty in my hands
D4m0cl3s:
i'm really gonna have to fuck the ego out of you, aren't i?
get your little attitude problem in check
and biting? you into that?
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'd like to see you try
like i said, this is aaaaall your fault
if you can't control yourself over a message thread, how the fuck will you cope when I'm in front of you?
and pls
i'm gonna be the one fucking you
it's cute that you think otherwise
stupid <33 but cute :)
D4m0cl3s:
i literally hate you
Cl3m3ntin3:
you gonna hate me when im on my knees between your legs?
D4m0cl3s:
yep
Cl3m3ntin3:
gonna hate me when i run my tongue up and down that pretty cock of yours?
D4m0cl3s:
yep
Cl3m3ntin3:
gonna hate me when i wrap my lips around your tip?
when i take your hard cock in my warm, wet mouth?
D4m0cl3s:
yep and yep
Cl3m3ntin3:
gonna hate me when i take you so deep my eyes start watering?
D4m0cl3s:
uh-huh
Cl3m3ntin3:
you're a tough bargainer :(
D4m0cl3s:
just means im gonna fuck you like i hate you
Cl3m3ntin3:
no you're not :)
you're gonna be soooo shy
so timid
so scared of fucking up because of how badly you want me
D4m0cl3s:
the way you're gonna eat your fucking words
actually makes me laugh
Cl3m3ntin3:
i wanna hear your laugh
D4m0cl3s:
you can hear it when you finally fuck me
Cl3m3ntin3:
i could have fucked you last night
you said no <//3
D4m0cl3s:
incorrect
i said not when you're drunk
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm a good fuck when im drunk
D4m0cl3s:
i'm pretty sure you're a good fuck regardless of your blood alcohol concentration
i've seen how you fuck your toys
i know you're a good fuck
Cl3m3ntin3:
like this?
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
just like that
fuck
that's it, baby
i like that toy
what is it? glass?
always looks so good when you sink it into your pussy
so so wet, fucking hell
Cl3m3ntin3:
glass, uh-huh
you should get one for yourself
D4m0cl3s:
myself?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yourself
D4m0cl3s:
i'm not sure that's my kinda thing, clemmie
Cl3m3ntin3:
only one way to find out
plus i remember how hard you came that time i got you to play with your ass a little
D4m0cl3s:
shut up omg
Cl3m3ntin3:
seeeeee, i'm totally gonna be the one doing the fucking :D
D4m0cl3s:
you're not touching my ass
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm gonna eat it :)
D4m0cl3s:
you're gonna do no such thing
Cl3m3ntin3:
hehe
okay
whatever you say :D
can't wait to say i told you so when you're face down ass up whining about how good my tongue feels :D
D4m0cl3s:
and this is exactly why you need the ego fucked out of you
never gonna happen
Cl3m3ntin3:
you'll be begging for it one day
but fineeeee, if u say so
tell me how you'd do it, then? how would you fuck the ego (that you gave me!!!) outta me?
tell me how you'd ruin me, damocles boy
D4m0cl3s:
show me your pussy first
let me look at how wet you are right now
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
god, look at you
if this is how wet you get thinking about eating my ass... we can put it on the maybe list
but you'd be on your back, like you are now
exactly like that, perfect and spread for me
i'd start with my fingers
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
these two
i'll push them into you so slowly that you'll be begging for more
you'll be all whiney
(so no change to normal lmao)
but i'll curl them a little, just like you said you like it, and use my thumb to toy with your clit
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
fuck i love it when you send videos
i could watch that forever
literal cinema
the way your pussy leaks for me, christ
i wouldn't be able to watch your pussy leak like that without licking it up
i'd keep my thumb on your clit, gently circling it as my tongue began to toy with your entrance
you'd be so leaky on my tongue wouldn't you?
so so fuckin' wet for me
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
it's mutual, just so you know
Cl3m3ntin3:
god i fucking love it when your tip gets all wet like that
you are soooooo needy
you wanna fuck me soooooo bad
he he i stay winning!!!
D4m0cl3s:
CLEM.
CONTROL.
YOUR.
EGO!!
Cl3m3ntin3:
FUCK.
IT.
OUT.
OF.
ME!!!!
D4m0cl3s:
your ego is so big i think i'll just have to fuck you for hours at this point :/
Cl3m3ntin3:
oh no :( such a shame !!! :(
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
just imagine this stretching your tight little pussy open
my cock is so much bigger than that dildo
Cl3m3ntin3:
can't wait to feel you inside me
i know it's gonna hurt
but in like... the best possible way
you're so big and thick
such a nice cock ♡♡
D4m0cl3s:
i'll go slow with you baby
ease you into it
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
Cl3m3ntin3:
you've got me soooo wet
i think it'll be easy to push into me
fill me up
D4m0cl3s:
my needy girl
look at you
my cock belongs inside you
your pussy already belongs to me
Cl3m3ntin3:
come and claim it
D4m0cl3s:
you're making it harder and harder to say no
fuck im close
Cl3m3ntin3:
same
i wanna watch you cum
D4m0cl3s:
fuck it
i'll call?
we can finish together?
Cl3m3ntin3:
please
Incoming call from D4m0cl3s
Accept | Decline
(03 minutes : 14 seconds)
Call ended.
Cl3m3ntin3:
nice work
D4m0cl3s:
pleasure doing business
Cl3m3ntin3:
as always
i totally heard that little giggle tho ;)
D4m0cl3s:
fuck off
what giggle
Cl3m3ntin3:
the one you did after you came all over your tummy :)♡♡
D4m0cl3s:
never giggled in my life ever
Cl3m3ntin3:
liar x
D4m0cl3s:
i only laughed cause you did too >:(
Cl3m3ntin3:
and i only laughed cause of how hard you made me cum
you've got a gift, damocles boy
D4m0cl3s:
and you've got the nicest pussy i've ever seen in my whole entire life
Cl3m3ntin3:
you have to use a dating app to get your rocks off
deffo a virgin :/
never seen a pussy before in your life :/
not much competition to compare me to, is there? :/
D4m0cl3s:
i really do mean it when i say i hate you :) x
Cl3m3ntin3:
i know you do babe
D4m0cl3s:
wish we were never matched, actually
Cl3m3ntin3:
same
might just block you actually
D4m0cl3s:
PLEASE
put me out of my misery
Cl3m3ntin3:
okay :D
bye forever :D
D4m0cl3s:
wait no
don't :(
Cl3m3ntin3:
you're a bloody seesaw boy
always up and down
either hate me or love me
make up your mind !!
D4m0cl3s:
lmao
you've no idea
but where's the fun in that?
i like keeping you on your toes
Cl3m3ntin3:
true
i gotta run tho
got a date with a real boy
seeyaaaa x
D4m0cl3s:
wooooah wait wait
a date?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah
with someone in like.. real life...
problem?
D4m0cl3s:
no problem
just
surprised
that's all
Cl3m3ntin3:
that someone would want to date me?
D4m0cl3s:
no
that you'd want to date someone else
Cl3m3ntin3:
breaking news: girl in her early twenties wants more than nudes from a stranger on the internet
D4m0cl3s:
fair enough
probably shouldn't continue this, then
a heads up would have been nice
Cl3m3ntin3:
you wanna stop?
D4m0cl3s:
no
no, i really don't, clem
but you're right
you do deserve more
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah
i do
D4m0cl3s:
i actually hate this wtf
like
i know you can do what you like
and i can do what i like
but
i thought we had something good going?
Cl3m3ntin3:
we do
thank god i'm just lying about a date for attention :) <3
D4m0cl3s:
what the fuck clem
Cl3m3ntin3:
made you shit your pants didn't i
D4m0cl3s:
CLEM.
Cl3m3ntin3:
DAMOCLES BOY.
D4m0cl3s:
so you're not going on a date?
Cl3m3ntin3:
no you idiot
you think i have enough time to be meeting new people when i spend all my free time sending you nudes?
was just fucking with you
wanted to see if you cared
D4m0cl3s:
you could have just asked
Cl3m3ntin3:
you'd have told me you hate me
D4m0cl3s:
BECAUSE I DO
you're actually mental
Cl3m3ntin3:
he he
u luv it
D4m0cl3s:
i don't
Cl3m3ntin3:
do
basically started crying when you thought someone else might take your place
D4m0cl3s:
you didn't even give me a chance to clean myself up you fucking menace !!
just made me cum and then did a 180
what did you expect me to do?!
you know how sad my dick looks right now?
Cl3m3ntin3:
no
show me
D4m0cl3s:
get fucked you little cretin
Cl3m3ntin3:
let me see your sad cock :(
D4m0cl3s:
you're never seeing it again
you don't deserve it after that little stunt
Cl3m3ntin3:
so... ill see it tonight?
D4m0cl3s:
....
..........
...............
probably
now fuck off
i've got a day to get on with
might even go on a date
Cl3m3ntin3:
no you won't :D
D4m0cl3s:
i hate you x
Cl3m3ntin3:
denial x
D4m0cl3s is offline
"Jesus Christ," you say, tone full of surprise when you walk into your living room. It's just gone midday, and you've finally risen from your hangover pit of despair.
Following the conversation with your Damocles boy, you had decided a nap was in order, but it only served to make your headache even worse. Turns out, the orgasm had just been a temporary solution. You need paracetemol, and you need it now.
"Jimin, actually," an equally hungover mess groans from your sofa. He's bundled in blankets, a pouty chin hooked over the armrest to look at you with puppy dog eyes. His expression screams 'water pls'.
"And Jungkook," a second voice whines from behind the sofa. A hand rises from the direction of the voice, covered in thick black inkings, before falling with a thud.
Your lips hang ajar as you look at them both, far more confused than you should be. When you glance over to the kitchen counter, you're greeted with the sight of what must have been a rager. There are bottles everywhere - mainly soju and beer - and there's a sticky sheen pooling around their bases. A packet of crisps is open on the hob, but most of the actual crisps are scattered on the floor. You're willing to bet good money on Jungkook being responsible for those.
"The fuck happened last night?" You ask, though you're able to pick up enough context clues from the photobooth pictures that are on your fridge door. They're stuck in place with washi tape, of which you don't remember buying.
"You didn't buy it," Jungkook says when you ask about it. "Stole it from the photobooth place. Little klepto."
"Brilliant," you grimace. The last thing you need is a scandal going around about Kim Seokjin's troublesome younger sister and her thieving ways. The media love a scandal, and Jin has been able to avoid them for the most part. "Joon and Jin?"
"Headed home before us," Jimin tells you. "Really don't remember a thing, do you?"
The last thing you remember is messaging your Damocles boy in the bathroom stall. You don't even really remember how the conversation ended. The rest of the night? Never happened, in your mind.
Still reeling, the day wastes away from you all.
It's spent huddled up on your sofa, Jungkook's Spotify connected to your speaker, as you try and decipher exactly what happened the night before. It's like you're the cast of a shitty Hollywood movie from 10 years ago - nothing makes sense, but it also kind of all does. Jungkook's got the least patchy memories. Remembers how you got home, at least.
There's only one thing he doesn't mention - partially because it happened this morning, not last night, but also because he wants to spare your dignity.
He's a light sleeper. Especially the mornings after a few too many drinks. As soon as the alcohol flushes his body, he has to get up, get water, go to the bathroom. Set his world to rights. This morning had been no exception.
Just a shame he happened to wake a mere matter of moments before your Damocles boy had called you.
No words had been spoken, no conversation took place - but with your phone angled awkwardly for prime shots of your most intimate areas, you had moaned a little louder than usual to make sure the mic picked it up.
And so Jungkook had heard it all - and had recognised the click of a Hush call coming to an end. He's had more than enough himself to know the tone by now.
Watching on as you laugh with Jimin about something nonsensical, mid-afternoon sun pouring through the cracks in your curtains, Jungkook is curious.
You don't notice the way he's studying you, nibbling on his lip ring as he does so.
The running joke between the pair of you about dating to piss off Jin has always been exactly that - a joke - but the idea of you dating someone else in the industry makes him feel a little... off.
He doesn't question it, though. Doesn't really know what to make of it. Doesn't like it, mind you.
As the evening begins to draw in, Jimin leaves first, with Jungkook set to follow suit half an hour later. He tells you he'll leave at 6, but he's still on your sofa when it hits 7:05PM.
"There's something about you lately," he says, scheming, dark eyes narrow. You narrow yours back right back.
"How so?"
"Dunno," he smiles. He wants to ask who you're fucking about with, but it seems too forward. You're close, and have been for years, but not as close as you used to be. His fault, really. He's the one who ditched you when he started dating some songwriter a few years back. "You just seem... preoccupied. What's going on with you, fizz?"
The nickname is so natural that it rolls off Jungkook's tongue as if he hadn't stopped calling you it around the same time he got that girlfriend. She didn't last long, but the slight chill to your friendship had.
"Haven't heard that in a while," you smile right back, as you take a sip on the fizzy orangade that you adore so much it had become a bloody nickname.
"Still suits you," he says, and he's right. Fizzy by name, fizzy by nature. "So you gonna tell me?"
You're not really sure what he wants you to say, so just shrug. "I'm fine, buddy. Are you okay?"
"I'm cool," he nods, aware of the fact you definitely don't want to talk about whatever it is going on with you - so he changes topic. "Nervous about tour, if I'm being honest. You're coming, right? Been contracted on?"
"Uh-huh," you nod. "For the European leg, at least. They haven't sent out contracts yet for the US leg."
"You'll be on it," he says with absolute certainty. He can't see any reason why you wouldn't be. They all like having you around. It's nice having a familiar face backstage. Nice having a friend.
"Hopefully," you agree, very aware that your job is incredibly sought after. You're not the only nepotism baby around, and know that the US leg will be a lot more... political, as it were. Record label execs will all be fighting for attention from the boys, and that could mean putting overqualified suits in job positions like yours, just for a little bit of Scout exposure.
"You really think they're gonna kick you off the roster?" he smiles, nudging you with his foot from across the sofa. "We'd all riot. Even Yoongi."
Now that is something you doubt.
"He'd probably be leading the counter-riot to have me kicked off," you roll your eyes.
"He's just pissy that he can't be annoyed with you," Jungkook laughs. "He wants to hate how you got hired, but he knows you're good at what you do. Knows that you'd have got the job with or without your bloodline."
"Or," you counter. "He really does just hate me."
Jungkook shakes his head. He's noticed Yoongi's coldness recently, too. Puts it down to stress from touring so intensely. Things were definitely different than they used to be - not necessarily any better, nor worse. Just different.
"It's understandable," Jungkook taunts you. "You are pretty unbearable."
He catches your foot as you go to kick him, surprised by how strong your legs actually are - but you're no match for his upper body strength. Not even when you try and use your other leg, as well.
"Some boys actually enjoy my company," you protest, still struggling a little.
"Uh-huh," Jungkook nods, biting down on his bottom lip. His eyes are sparkling in the same way they did after last night's concert. He's just messing, flirting with you for the fun of it, but he knows he shouldn't. Knows he's only doing it cause he knows you're talking to someone else. He's lost your affections before, and while you're just friends, he still doesn't like the idea of it happening again. He likes being number one. Likes being top of the food chain. "Sure they do."
He thinks he has the upper hand here, but he hasn't realised you've stopped fighting against his grip. You're gentle in the way you move your legs, lowering them just a little until they're on his lap. He lets them be. Pays no notice to the fact he's not entirely soft beneath his sweats.
You ignore it, too. Kind of. Press down a little, just to let him know you know. He doesn't react. Just cocks one of his brows, as if to say, 'so?'
And then he figures that throwing caution to the wind is the best option here. He doesn't want to let things get out of hand, and he's sure you don't either.
"So are you gonna tell me about your Hush boy now or later?"
The way your jaw drops is almost comical. The pressure of your feet eases, and Jungkook is sad to lose it, but he doesn't resist as you pull your legs up to your chest in panic. He's still got that cocksure grin on his face, amused by your reaction.
"What?" He smirks, reclining back into the corner of the sofa. His legs spread a little, and the bulge is even more noticeable. He's doing it to fuck with you, now. You don't even look in its direction, but he still has the nerve to say, "Eyes up here, fizz."
"My eyes are up," you almost gasp. "And so are you, apparently."
Jungkook knocks his head to the side, and scrunches his nose a little. Being called out for it makes him a little awkward, even when he's the most confident guy you've ever known.
"I'm just hungover-"
"Yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes, before reciting the same bullshit he always says. "I'm always more horny when I'm hungover."
The way you say it is so whiney that Jungkook can't help but laugh. "I don't sound like that you prick - and stop deflecting. I heard you this morning. Sounds like I'm not the only one who suffers from horny hangovers."
It's about now that your face blossoms with the most delightful shade of red. Your cheeks are hot, and Jungkook can see how mortified you are. He finds it fucking hilarious.
"You didn't."
"Oh," he sings. "But I did."
"I'm gonna throw up," you grimace. Flirting with Jungkook is all well and good, but the idea of him hearing you get yourself off is shameful. Truly horrific.
"You didn't remember that me and Jimin had crashed here, did you?" He teases, knowing that you'd have never done it had you known they were in the next room over - or maybe you would have done. You just would have been a little more discreet.
"Didn't have a clue," you confirm, before burying your head in a sofa cushion. This is probably the most tragic conversation you've ever had with Jungkook.
He just laughs. Finds it hilarious.
"You didn't hear anything," you tell him. "Forget it ever happened."
"Was kinda hot," he shrugs - but fails to tell you that his current semi isn't the first time he's been hard in your apartment today. "Doesn't answer my question, though. Who's your Hush guy?"
Your face screws up like a paper napkin. This is not a conversation you want to be having, nor one you thought you'd be having a few minutes ago when your feet were on his cock.
In fact, your eyes are still closed, face all cute and regretful when you say, "How the fuck am I supposed to know? Doesn't that defeat the object of Hush?"
Jungkook laughs. "Give over. Who is he?"
"I'm being serious," you say, and notice the way Jungkook's smile shifts. He looks a little concerned, now, brows hard. "I don't know."
"Fizz," he says, too shocked to address you by anything but a dumb nickname. His brows are furrowed, and it's his jaw gaping now, not yours. "How do you not know?"
And now you're confused, because you thought that anonymity was the whole point of Hush.
"We just... never disclosed it, I guess?"
"So, what?" Jungkook's tone changes. It sounds like he's accusing you now, berating you a little. You both look as bewildered as one another. "You just matched with some dude this morning and got straight to it?"
That's the only plausibility, Jungkook thinks.
He knows Hush, knows what it's like, but knows that the stakes are too high to keep the anon act up. If he isn't comfortable enough to share his identity within a day or two, he unmatches.
Sure, he's gotten himself in pretty risky conversations straight off the bat before, and has had his fair share of casual encounters thanks to the app - but he doesn't love the idea of you doing it, too. It's because he knows that he doesn't care for the girls he uses in those situations, and dislikes the idea of someone else using you like that.
"No?" You reply, a little offended. "We've been talking for like... a few months?"
Jungkook almost shrieks. "A few months?! And you don't know who he is?!"
You stay silent for a moment. You're reflecting his confusion back at him. He can't understand for the life of him why you don't see a problem with this - but you haven't worked your way through the Hush circles like he has. Your Damocles boy has been the only person you've ever given the time of day on there.
"That's the whole point?" You say, but it's really a question because you can't understand why he's so horrified.
"He could be anyone," Jungkook whispers, as if he's trying to keep your secret for you. "Anyone!"
"He's alright," you promise. "He's nice."
"You don't even know his name!"
"I'm pretty sure you can only name a handful of the girls you've fucked in the last couple of years," you scoff at his hypocrisy.
Jungkook got eyes like a hopeless romantic, all shiny and bright. People don't seem to realise such appeal affords him endless opportunities for casual encounters - of which he thinks it would be rude to turn down. Or at least that's what he tells you.
Realistically, you know he just likes fucking about.
"That's not the point here, fizz, and you know it," he scolds.
"Who I may or may not send nudes to is really none of your concern, Jungkook," you tell him.
"I know that," he insists. "But if this has been going on for months..."
"Then it's still none of your concern."
He holds up his hands, eyes wide. He's waving a white flag, even if he thinks you're a walking, talking red one. "I'm not attacking you, here. I just think you need to be careful."
"I'm fine," you tell him softly, and he's pleased when you smile at him in that fond way he's so used to. It feels a lot safer than the confusion on your face a moment ago. You know his concern comes from a good place. "It's just what works for us. It's as much my choice as it is his."
Jungkook nods, and lets it go, but not before warning you, "I'm not the only one of the guys on there. Tae and Jin, we both know they're not, but the rest of them? I dread to think of what Jin would do if he found out Joon was phone fucking his little sister."
You laugh now. Really laugh.
"I'm not kidding!" Jungkook protests.
"I'd recognise any of you in an instant," you tell him, and you really believe it.
You have no doubt in your mind that you'd be able to sense any of them off from miles away. They're too familiar.
"I fucking hope so," he laughs, and while you're laughing too, you feel a little uneasy.
Maybe he has a point. Maybe you do need to dig a little deeper.
But as Jungkook leaves, and you check your phone only to find a new message waiting from your Damocles boy, you can't help but feel a little out of your depth already.
21:43PM
D4m0cl3s:
whyyyy am i so obsessed with u
22:10PM
leaving me on read? that's a new one
(plus will probably only make me a little more obsessed (something about toxic girls that just really gets to me))
22:32PM
i lied i don't like toxic girls pls don't ignore me clem :(
Cl3m3ntin3:
hey
sorry
was just a little busy
D4m0cl3s:
it's cool
you okay?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah yeah, im all good
you?
D4m0cl3s:
im okay
you seem a little... i dunno. off?
Cl3m3ntin3:
sorry
i'm fine
really
D4m0cl3s:
yanno, you say one thing
but the way you're writing sends a whole entire different message
it's v confusing, clem
Cl3m3ntin3:
sorry
i don't mean to be
im all good, honest
D4m0cl3s:
stop saying sorry
22:54PM
clem whats up
you're never like this, you got me worried
Cl3m3ntin3:
you sat at home worrying over a girl you can't even imagine?
D4m0cl3s:
wdym?
Cl3m3ntin3:
it's not like you can picture me
not like you can think of my face
so what are you thinking about when you're worrying? some pixels? your phone?
D4m0cl3s:
right.
where has all this come from?
please know my face is very confused right now
so whatever you imagine when you think of me - 'cause let's remember that you don't have a fuckin' clue what i look like either - add a little confusion to it
that should do the job.
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm gonna add a little anger to it 'cause you seem pissed off
D4m0cl3s:
well, yeah?
i kind of am
i don't get why you're, like, attacking me?
like im the only one keeping a secret?
it's you and me both, clem.
00:06AM
you can't just ignore me whenever i say something you don't like
Cl3m3ntin3:
no?
i think i can.
goes with the territory of you not knowing who the fuck i am.
no repercussions.
D4m0cl3s:
where the fuck has all this come from?
were we not good this morning?
00:13AM
and there you go again, leaving me on read.
Cl3m3ntin3:
don't act like you actually give a fuck
been 3 months
if you cared, surely i'd know who you are by now?
D4m0cl3s:
pot, kettle, black, clem
it's a two-way street
and fuck you
if i didn't care, i'd just be leaving your shitty attitude on read, too.
Cl3m3ntin3:
how can you care about someone you don't know?
really? how can you?
D4m0cl3s:
are you telling me you don't care about me?
00:17AM
if this is you leaving me on read again then you can go fuck yourself.
like literally just unmatch me.
Cl3m3ntin3:
im not leaving you on read
im trying to figure out what the fuck i want to say
just
give me a moment, okay?
D4m0cl3s:
m'kay.
Cl3m3ntin3:
i care
that's, like the most important thing here. i really care.
i just
i had someone irl questioning me about you today and it kind of left me stumped.
why don't you want to know who i am?
D4m0cl3s:
i kinda hate that an outsider has swayed your opinion on me so much
don't get me wrong, i love that your friends care about you
just hate that it makes you think i don't
Cl3m3ntin3:
that's not an answer
D4m0cl3s:
patience is a virtue, clem
i was getting there
my line of work... i cant commit to anything. it isn't fair. it isn't fair to let someone get invested in me.
the moment you know who i am, everything changes
it's far easier for you to be detached if i'm just a few pixels
if this isn't physical
Cl3m3ntin3:
you've spent 3 months getting yourself off to me and me alone
that's commitment, isn't it?
D4m0cl3s:
that's conditioning, clem
you've made everything else so incredibly boring
you're the only thing that excites me
Cl3m3ntin3:
and yet...
D4m0cl3s:
and yet.
clem, we both know the second this becomes more than what it already is, there's no taking it back.
i don't wanna lose this
don't wanna lose you.
Cl3m3ntin3:
i think it's really sad that you think being honest will result in losing me
D4m0cl3s:
just how the cookie crumbles, clem
i've seen it happen with my friends
you were right when you said you deserve more than dick pics from some rando on the internet
but even if you knew who i was, that's all i'd be able to give you
i like you too much to cope with knowing how disappointed you'd be by the outcome of my grand reveal
a few pixels can only disappoint you so much
a real, tangible human? so much more.
Cl3m3ntin3:
just a rando on the internet who sends me dick pics
and yet you've got me feeling all kinds of fucked up
D4m0cl3s:
it's mutual, if it helps
really did mean it when i said i was obsessed with u earlier
and for the record
i don't really imagine a person when i think of you
more of like..
i dunno. an aura? i guess.
peachy. orange. a little green.
very clementine inspired
maybe that's it
maybe i imagine clementines
my teeny tiny clementine
Cl3m3ntin3:
you make my heart hurt
D4m0cl3s:
you make my heart hurt, too
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm sorry for... like going off at you
D4m0cl3s:
it's cool
kind of nice to see this side of you, i guess
ur ego isn't always big
shock
Cl3m3ntin3:
oh no it is
this is all the result of a bruised ego
was very offended that you didn't wanna know i am
i'll have you know one of my friends got a semi just looking at me earlier
and yet the guy who makes me cum doesn't even wanna know me <///333
D4m0cl3s:
firstly lets stop with this nonsense, okay?
i would kill to know who you are
and as soon as we're both in situations where it's fair
i'm booking you a taxi and routing it straight for my place
also fuck ur friend
(not literally pls)
Cl3m3ntin3:
oh?
not gonna wine and dine me first?
(i wont)
D4m0cl3s:
absolutely not
first thing im doing is checking to see if your head can fit through doors, you egomaniac
Cl3m3ntin3:
and the second thing?
D4m0cl3s:
fucking the rest of that ego out of you ♡♡
Cl3m3ntin3:
and they say romance is dead
D4m0cl3s:
im not the most romantic of guys
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'll pretend im shocked
D4m0cl3s:
are we good, clem?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah we're good
im sorry for getting so in my head about things
don't even know why i got so pissed about you not being able to imagine me when i literally can't imagine you either lmao
D4m0cl3s:
what do you think of when you think of me?
Cl3m3ntin3:
honestly?
D4m0cl3s:
honestly...
Cl3m3ntin3:
your cock lmao
i wish i could say something cute like your aura, but i'd simply be lying
D4m0cl3s:
for fucks sake haha
Cl3m3ntin3:
good cock, at least
great cock, some would say
D4m0cl3s:
some?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah
not me
i'd say average :)
D4m0cl3s:
average?
AVERAGE?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah :D
D4m0cl3s:
i...
do you need reminding or something?
Cl3m3ntin3:
no? it's average :) !
D4m0cl3s:
the man was too stunned to speak
Cl3m3ntin3:
maybe i do need reminding then?
could have sworn it was average?
maybe even a little smaller?
D4m0cl3s:
you are rubbing salt in a wound, miss teeny tiny clementine
i've never been more offended
Cl3m3ntin3:
hmm...
prove me wrong?
D4m0cl3s:
i want it on record that i hate you
Cl3m3ntin3:
sure you do, baby
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
does this help?
Cl3m3ntin3:
a little?
not much, though
maybe it would help if I had some more context?
maybe you should play with it for me a little bit?
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
like this?
Cl3m3ntin3:
ooo
that's a little better
only a little, though
maybe more?
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
D4m0cl3s:
what about now?
Cl3m3ntin3:
maybe you should play with your balls a little?
for like... spacial awareness?
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
yeah, that helps
that really helps
D4m0cl3s:
still average?
or does it look like we both know it does?
Cl3m3ntin3:
how do we both know it looks?
D4m0cl3s:
like it would ruin your tight little cunt
Cl3m3ntin3:
damn, damocles
you're really coming for me now, aren't you?
what happened to my pretty little pussy you love so much? it's cunt now?
D4m0cl3s:
you don't want me playing nice right now
you wouldn't be telling me i'm below average if you did
you want me fucking you like i have a point to prove
Cl3m3ntin3:
and what point would that be?
D4m0cl3s:
that once i finally get to fuck your (pretty, perfect, fucking incredible) cunt, it's mine
mine, and no one else's
especially not that friend of yours who got hard looking at you
Cl3m3ntin3:
i spy with my little eye something that begins with J
(it ends in 'ealousy', suga)
sugar** lmao
typo
D4m0cl3s:
suga on the brain?
you a scouts fan?
Cl3m3ntin3:
they're fine
not what i want to be thinking of right now, tho
D4m0cl3s:
my bad
well, no, your bad actually
who's your favourite member?
Cl3m3ntin3:
shuuuuush
time and place, babe
also
i have an idea
D4m0cl3s:
go on?
Cl3m3ntin3:
you got a bottle close by?
D4m0cl3s:
ermmm
like water bottle?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah
D4m0cl3s:
i've a chilsung?
Cl3m3ntin3:
perfect
me too
wanna see your hand wrapped around it
D4m0cl3s:
....
i have a cock right here and hard for you
.... and you wanna see my hand around a bottle?
Cl3m3ntin3:
just do it baby
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
oh my fucking god
D4m0cl3s:
what?
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
oh holy shit
why is your hand so small
it doesn't even get around the bottle?????!!
i'd literally like... eclipse it
Cl3m3ntin3:
uh huh
now wrap your hand around your cock
you know the size difference now
you know exactly what it'd look like
D4m0cl3s:
god i'm gonna fucking destroy you arent i
Cl3m3ntin3:
uh huh
i think so
jesus christ
i haven't even been touching myself and look at the state of me
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
you did this
this is all you
D4m0cl3s:
all mine
i'm never gonna share you
god i gotta fuck you
Cl3m3ntin3:
we've literally just had a full entire fuck off conversation as to why you cant
D4m0cl3s:
im a boy
im stupid
i cant be trusted to make such decisions
let me fuck you
please
Cl3m3ntin3:
no, baby
you know you can't
you gotta be patient
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
think of how well you'll be rewarded
D4m0cl3s:
no i gotta fuck you
i need to
i think i might die if i can't
D4m0cl3s added new media to the chat!
so hard that death is the only option
Cl3m3ntin3:
the way you hold it around the base always gets me so fucked up
all i can think about is the fact it will look just like that when you guide it into me
Cl3m3ntin3 added new media to the chat!
reckon im wet enough for you?
D4m0cl3s:
i think you're wet enough that i'll never need to drink water again
so fucking hot
literally how the fuck do you even get that wet
Cl3m3ntin3:
wish i could tell you
truth is you're the only one who's ever got me like that
D4m0cl3s:
fuck
don't say shit like that, clem
im too close
Cl3m3ntin3:
you can cum, baby
i wanna see it
D4m0cl3s:
can i call?
i wanna watch you too
Cl3m3ntin3:
yes
please
pretty please
D4m0cl3s:
always so good for me, clem
ain't no fuckin' way im ever losing this
Cl3m3ntin3:
just call me you sentimental prick ;)
Incoming call from D4m0cl3s
Accept | Decline
(01 minute : 37 seconds)
Call ended.
Cl3m3ntin3:
im so furious that was a call and not a video
you fucking whined
WHINED
jesus i might cum again just thinking about it
D4m0cl3s:
and they say men are easy
Cl3m3ntin3:
fuck you, you know you're hot
D4m0cl3s:
do i?
Cl3m3ntin3:
yeah
yeah you fucking do
give me all this shit for my ego, but jesus christ you know exactly what you do to me
D4m0cl3s:
and you know it's mutual
the whine...
yeah that wasn't intentional
you're just??? unreal????
Cl3m3ntin3:
probably a good idea that we don't ever fuck
i think i'd stop being able to function like a useful member of society
would just want to spend all day in bed with you
D4m0cl3s:
you say that as we don't spend a fair amount of our free time doing exactly that
just... not together
but still together
kinda
i guess? does that make sense?
Cl3m3ntin3:
it makes sense
i'm sorry about earlier, still
D4m0cl3s:
im sorry, too
i know that this isn't like... conventional
Cl3m3ntin3:
conventional is boring
im gonna go get a shower quickly
talk later?
D4m0cl3s:
talk later
miss u already x
D4m0cl3s is offline
BIG HIT ENT OFFICES
Yongsan-gu, Seoul
"You can stop avoiding me, yanno," Jungkook mumbles as he comes to stand beside you.
The grey corridors of Big Hit all look the same, but this one's a little different. It's The Scouts stomping ground; space reluctantly given to them after the success of the last album. Told management they needed studios to work in underdisturbed. Three of them. Tae and Jin didn't care for one - are happy doing their own shit in the dingy old practise room in the basement - but Yoongi, Namjoon and Jungkook all threw tantrums.
Well, less-so trantrums and more-so well put together business plans an ROI graphs for some of the senior bosses. Hoseok was in charge of overseeing it all, and blew far too much budget on it - something of which has bitten them all in the arse, and keeps them tied to their label for longer, but they have freedoms, at least. More than most bands in their field. Oppotunities. Visibility.
At the far end of the corridor, closest to the snack machine, is Jungkook's studio.
There's silence as you watch the packet of chips you just chose drop into the vending chute, with little care for the fact he sounds stroppy. Though you don't look at him, you know he's pouting. Can hear it in his voice.
It's been a few days since he left your apartment and you haven't really spoken since. It's not like it's totally uncommon for you to go a while without chatting, but you are aware that you left a couple memes sent to you on read.
You weren't trying to be a bitch, he just sent them at bad times, and you forgot to reply. Seems as if your lack of consideration has left him overthinking, and you feel a little bad.
You crouch, knees cracking as you do, stuffing your arm into the machine and retrieving your purchases - plural. A packet of chips for you, and banana milk for him. He narrows his eyes as you hold it towards him. You're still crouched, eyes a little wide but impatient.
"Take it or I'll drink it myself, you big baby."
He wants to resist, but he can't. Something just so tempting about banana milk. Gets him every time.
"Was coming to see you, actually," you say as you return to your full posture, knocking your head to the side to indicate you want to walk. He follows your lead like he always does. It explains the banana milk, at least, and makes him feel a little easier. "Just been busy, haven't been avoiding you. Stupid. Anyways, had a meeting today about the next run of shows so thought I'd pop up and say hi before I left."
He hums to let you know he's listening, encouraging you to keep on talking as he reaches the door to his studio. It's pin-protected, so you wait till he's typed in the code to continue - though realistically, you both know you could have just typed it in yourself.
"How'd it go?" He asks, both out of politeness and general curiosity. He's always keen to hear about your life; what's going on with it.
"Yeah, yeah," you nod, entering first and taking a seat in his favourite desk chair as soon as you're inside. You drape your overshirt across the back of it, and ignore the way Jungkook's eyes briefly flitter towards your chest. His gaze doesn't linger, so you don't bother teasing him about it. "All good. Just going over some health and safety stuff."
He pops his banana milk down on the desk. Frowns. Sighs. "Up."
Every single time. Him and his bloody chair.
"But there's another chair right there!" You protest, knowing full well you're in Jungkook's ridiculously overpriced gaming chair, which really has no business being in a music studio - but dear lord if it isn't the comfiest thing you've ever sat on.
"Exactly!" He wails in return. "You, there. Me, here."
The way he gestures his hands makes him look like a flight attendant, all poised and direct, but you don't budge.
"Mhmm-mm," you mumble, trying to eat a chip as Jungkook tugs on your arm. "Me, here. You there!"
"You're gonna get crumbs all over it," he says with such a pout that you can't help but laugh. You know he's got a mini vacuum in his desk drawer precisely for times like these. You know because you're the one who bought it, after the fifth time you'd argued over something as trivial as a few crumbs.
"I won't," you pout right back, then promise, "I'll wipe my fingers."
He's about to say something back, before he realises that you are wiping your fingers - right along the hem of his shirt.
"For fucks sake, you little shit," he moans, wrapping his arm around your head to get you in a headlock. Should have just done this earlier, he thinks. The pair of you struggle for a moment, but he's too bloody strong. You squeal as he drags you off the chair and plonks you down in the spare seat. "Much better."
"You suck," you huff as you kick out at him, but miss as he sits himself down and rolls away with a cheeky little grin on his face.
He's about to reply all rather childishly, but a knock at his door breaks the contact of his eyes on yours.
You're thankful for the interruption. You don't like the way it feels when you look at Jungkook these days. It's a bit... too much.
"Who is it?" Jungkook calls, the frosted glass hiding the intruder, but not really. Even you can make out who it is.
"Yoongi," he calls through, to which Jungkook tells him that he can let himself in. He's one of the chosen few; the secret circle. In all reality, every single one of the boys knows Jungkook's passwords, but he tells himself otherwise. Somehow likes the idea of exclusivity.
"Hey, I- oh," Yoongi begins as he enters the room, stopping as he realises you're there. He's dressed down, a pair of black slacks and a white shirt a fair few sizes too large draped over his shoulders.
Dressed quite a lot like you, actually, though your slacks are fitted and high-waisted, and the white shirt you're in is tight. It clings to your skin, and now that your overshirt is hooked over the back of Jungkook's chair, there's not much hiding your silhouette.
They've both seen you in far less - there's a mutual agreement to never speak of your twenty-third birthday party and the bath debacle - but it's not often you're in anything that doesn't hide you up a little. It's just professionalism, and considering you're mostly around them at work, it makes sense.
But your shirt had ridden up a little from the struggle with Jungkook, and your midriff is distracting for Yoongi, apparently. He stays silent. Looks at you. Looks at Jungkook. Looks at your shirt, which is crumpled by Jungkook. Looks at the mess your hair is in following the headlock. Is unaware of the headlock ever taking place. Adds 2 and 2 and gets 5.
"Didn't realise you had company," Yoongi musters. "My bad."
"Don't mind me," you smile. "I can get gone, if you need time with Jungkook?"
"No, no," Yoongi insists, before turning to focus on Jungkook. The way he cuts the conversation short with you weighs on you. You and Yoongi had never been close, not in the same way you were with Jungkook, but there was a time when you would have been invited along with whatever he needed Jungkook for. Hasn't been that way for a while now, but it still makes you sad. "Just running through that demo you sent over, I've got some notes. I'll be in the studio all evening, so just come by whenever you're... done."
It dawns on you pretty quickly that Yoongi's jumping to conclusions. Your cheeks begin to flame, and you have to stop yourself from awkwardly laughing.
"I'm actually heading off now," you mumble, getting to your feet. The last thing you need is yet another thing for Yoongi to hold against you.
You like to tell yourself it's the whole nepotism thing - and honestly, it's an undeniable part of his disdain for you lately.
But you also know it's something more.
See, there are two things you and Yoongi will never speak of.
The first is your twenty-third birthday party, and the bath debacle that came with it. It was harmless, and he wasn't the only one there - Jimin and Jungkook played their part too - but it's an avoided topic to preserve your dignity more than anything else.
The second thing you will never discuss is the night that never was. The one you both agreed never happened.
When he looks at you, you know he's thinking about it.
But it's your best-kept secret, and you'd quite like to keep it that way, so you make your excuses and leave. Jungkook says bye, and that he'll text later. Yoongi doesn't even really look at you as you leave.
There's a momentum to your heartbeat as you leave the building, your staff pass beeping like a hospital monitor as you go through security. There's a buzz in your back pocket as soon as you're through the doors - not the kind you long for from your Damocles boy, but a just regular kakaotalk message.
When you pull up your phone and see his name, you're surprised, but also a little concerned. You wait until you're at the bus stop to check his messages - and when you do, you wish you never did.
Yoongi (personal):
I've said the same to Jungkook as I'm gonna say to you.
Think about it from Jin's perspective.
You can't help but laugh at his sheer audacity. Of all people, Yoongi has absolutely no right to berate you, nor your choices. He's completely missed the mark of the relationship between you and Jungkook - and he's really in no place to judge. No place at all.
And so you tell him as such.
You:
Not really sure what you're getting at
But tell me, Yoongi, did you think about it from Jin's perspective?
You know better than to mention the night that never was. Neither of you have spoken about it for months - a full year, almost - but he deserves to think about it if he's going to be a prick. Deserves to remember. Deserves to have it linger.
You watch as your messages are marked as 'read', and then you mute your notifications from him. How he thinks he has any right to police what you do - and who you do it with - infuriates you. Why waste your time, though? He's been nothing but an absolute arse to you over the past couple of months. Nothing will change it.
The frustration in your mind has you wanting to watch the world roll by. You let the bus you usually board roll on by, opting for the longer route instead. It won't come for another few minutes, but it's not so bad out today. The weather is bearable.
It's as you're waiting - a face of thunder and scowl foul enough to rival even Yoongi's on a bad day - that your phone buzzes. The corner of your lips curl. Cheeks turn pink. It vibrates again. And a third time.
So even though you mentally scold yourself for not waiting until you get home, you find yourself unlocking your phone and heading to Hush.
And sure enough, there he is.
D4m0cl3s:
working late tonight
The second message is a picture. Has you gasping. It's a pair of dark trousers, unbuckled, zip down, but still in place - pushed open enough for you to see the thick outline of a bulge in white Calvins.
D4m0cl3s:
thinking about you x
A soft laugh escapes your lips, and you forget all about your bad mood.
You reply, a grin on your face so large that you think it could rival a Cheshire cat.
Cl3m3ntin3:
and they say romance is dead?? ♡♡
He replies instantly.
D4m0cl3s:
i'm not trying to romance you, clem
i'm trying to seduce you :)
is it working?
Cl3m3ntin3:
no x
D4m0cl3s:
what about now??
The picture he sends through is obscene. Belongs in the centrefold of a top shelf magazine. Has you fucking drooling, a light whimper escaping your lips. The harsh wind of a taxi storming by reminds you that you're in public. You look over your shoulder to make sure there's no one walking by - not because you don't want to get caught looking at it, but so you can oogle at it for a little bit longer.
His fingers are wrapped around his thick cock, his grip tight. Like, real fucking tight. His foreskin is pulled down, and there's a small pool of thick precum glistening on his tip. It's so minimal, but so central to the photo that you know it's the main focus. He's letting you know just how horny he is, just how ready he is to fuck himself into you - and he's hoping that your pussy will be leaking like that, too.
Cl3m3ntin3:
i'm on my way home
can you wait for like 20 minutes?
D4m0cl3s:
i've got all night, clem
take your time
i'll be waiting for you
Cl3m3ntin3:
be home soooooon
D4m0cl3s:
travel safe, clemmie x
Cl3m3ntin3:
simp.
#yoongi fanfic#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#rockstar!yoongi#yoongi fluff#bangtan ff#bts x reader#yoongi masterlist#yoongi x reader#yoongi ff#rockstar!bts#dappleddaisies#byholly#dating app au#rockstar au#myg x reader
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Missa and Tallulah day <tres
(A very loooooooooooong post)
Missa first day in the new island.
Missa: "Tallulah! little one! How are you? It's good to see you, mi niña. It's so ^nice that the first thing I see is you."
(^He said "lindo" that also means pretty <tres)
(Everytime tallulah's dads call her "mi niña" I melt <tres)
After Missa watched the new money sistem(?
Tallulah: "Don't worry apa, chayanne, papa phil and me are really poor"
Bbh was telling missa the places he could live in.
Tallulah: "In my house we also made you a little space apa :D"
Missa: "Thank you bbh but it seems like tallulah has a little space for me on her house so probably I'll be near to her"
Tallulah: "Well duh you're my apa :D of course we have a place for you"
Missa: "Thank you so much tallulah"
Bbh give him some iron and diamond.
Tallulah: "Apa you are already richer than papa phil, chayanne and me together"
Missa: "No no no this is ours, I'm not even going to use it, we're going to give this to philza so he can make better use of it than me, because I'm going to waste it I'm sure."
My boy was getting distracted colecting flowers for the house. <tres
He got jumpscared by a sheep.
Tallulah: "I'll protect you apa :D it doesn't matter if is a zombie or a sheep"
Missa: "Thank you so much tallulah, *To chat* my children, my dear children are going to be there to defend me, when I'm old, all wrinkled and old I won't be afaird of they taking me to a nursing home, because my little eggs are going to take me to eat ground vegetables.."
Chat: Skeletons grow old?
MIssa: "No, but those are details, I can pretend ok? I can pretend that I am an old man"
Tallulah: "That's the house of uncle cellbit, he is our neighbor"
Missa: *to chat* "I don't know, I was waiting for something more terrifying, look it has the hair dyed like an e-girl, you know?...wait Late?" (Late is a streamer that has his hair like that, half red half dark)
Tallulah: "welcome home :D"
Missa: "this place is beautiful"
Missa:*sees chayanne* "chayanne, my son"
Tallulah: "we are poor but our house is perfect for 4four"
Missa: "It's really beautiful, we don't need money when we have each other"
Tallulah: "this is your bed"
Missa: *gasp* "it's perfect, it has memory foam, it's like that ones that you can put an egg on the side- literaly! the kind where you put an egg on the side and nothing happens to it (to the egg)"
They went to get materials to do a painting, and they were attack by a skeleton and a zombie.
Tallulah: "are you ok?"
Missa: "I am- are YOU ok? you have arrows everywhere! you look like a porcupine!"
Tallulah: "I am really strong"
Missa: "Oh! I can see that! perfect! you are prepared for everything"
Let's look at the glow up of that drawing.
They showed their drawings. (I just remembered that day were missa and chayanne also draw something for philza...pipipippipi)
Tallulah: *about missa's* "It's so good"
Missa: *about tallulah's* "Its beautiful"
They went to the museum, tallulah explained when the atm was bugged and they could get infinite money.
Missa: "Tallulah I am going to tell you a story I used to be in a team, of people really talented and nice, they teach me to play, I didn't learn much, but that team was called "Vacio Legal", they were the best, they were what formed who I am, a disaster"
Tallulah: "Did you also steal money?"
Missa: "No, not necessary, but let's say that we were on the edge of the law. those were good times."
Tallulah: "Later you tell me about them"
Missa: "Sure, sure, there are a lot of stories I could tell you about them"
Tallulah gaslighting missa.
Tallulah: "apa you are giant, you didn't know that? :o"
Missa explained the context that he knew, the reference of the picture, but chat told im that there were 2 contexts so he say to not tell him, because metagaming.
Tallulah: "It's just that you are giant"
Missa: "...There is something hiden that I am not understanding, philza and I have the same high, I think"
Missa: "look at him(maximus) I would also marry, kiss and kill, at the same time- no just kidding, it's not true you didn't heard that, it's a joke tallulah! IT'S A JOKE!!!
Tallulah: "a poco si tilin" (really?...)
Missa: *Laughing* It's not true, it's not true, maximus is my friend, my bro... Everything romantic and nice that they have said has already gone to shit." (I don't know of who he was talking)
Talllulah: "yyyyyy I am going to tell my papa"
Missa: "DON'T TELL HIM! TALLULAH, IT'S NOT TRUE, IT WAS A JOKE, JOKE! BAZINGA! No! ok"
Outside the museum, missa got hiccups.
Missa: "Tallulah did you know, fun fact about Missa Sinfonia: I have hiccups 90% of the time"
Tallula: "apa missa's lore :o"
Mobs attacking again.
Missa: "Tallulah, are you ok?" *tallulah says yes* "It's because you are really strong, you endure everything!"
Missa: *almost dying* "Tallulah i want to let you know that I always love you"*he doesn't die*"oh"
Missa: "BIRD... noo, tallulah can we take another one? i don't want to bother him"
More mobs attack.
Missa: "let's go home tallulah, I don't want to be here anymore tallulah, lets go home... no, no, no, why it sounds like you are dying? why? are you ok?"
Missa: *down at two hits* tell me you are not gonna die, please, please, you are not gona die, right?"
Missa: *now ok* "tallulah you are really strong and a good fighter, you are awesome"
At home
Tallulah: "Apa I have a gift for you before you go *gives him a Aster flower* I grabbed it because even though you are a skeleton, you are a sun/sunny with everyone and you shine a lot."
Missa: *Cries* Look tallulah, in the way here I was collecting flowers, but then I notice that all our house was packed with flowers, so it's one flower among many... this family is like a flower, there are many and many types but this one is the most beautiful"
Tallulah: "But this ones are yours so they are more beautiful"
Missa: *Crying* "tallullah I love you so much... I want the day I die, to be buried with these flowers... I can't die I am a skeleton, but I can bury myself the day I want and it is valid"
Tallulah: "JASADASJDSJ Don't say those things... You are not going to die :("
Missa: "No, don't worry, just like you I am inmortal, we are inmortals"
Tallulah: "Good nigth apa :D I liked seeing you and spending time with you <3 love you, see you soon :D"
Missa: "I love you too tallulah, see you soon then, my daughter, rest well and have sweet dreams"
END (8
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stans are actually very funny bc they often time talk themselves into the weirdest corners.
the whole point of criticizing acosf and its handling of nesta's character is to prove the point that sjm...doesn't like nesta as a character. that's is literally THE point - that sjm often abandons her moral themes (abuse, trauma, assault, etc.,) for character's deemed as undesirable or villainous to a capacity - and its through the handling of those 'vilified' (i.e. main character opposed - not even villianous) that we can gauge the extent to which sjm actually believes the ideals of her story. like - it is alarming that the only tolerable, empathetic parts of the a court of silver flames were the moments you could tell where ripped straight from sjm's own life (the hiking, training, mind-stilling etc.,). any actual characteristics about nesta weren't explored...like at all. her relationship with feyre and elain, with her mother, her trauma from her sexual assault, her conflicted relationship with her grandmother, her life before the cabin, her life during the cabin. in 800 pages - i still don't know mama archeron's name. what was life like in the cabin? what did nesta do all day? what was the dynamic? what was going on between elain and nesta?i don't know anything about her and nesta, we don't know anything about nesta's human life, her conversation with clare bedor, her relationship with clare beddor, moments with her dad - not even touching moments with him (and part of this story is her finding love for her dad). mind you we read 800+ pages and we learned absolutely nothing about her.
we essentially read sjm's emotional journey in one part, and a taming of the shrew narrative in another. i think the only way sjm had genuine interest in exploring nesta's story is through essentially self-inserting herself and avoiding the actual plot-points she set up in the first three books. like did nesta have childhood friends? if losing the wealth so drastically affected her life wouldn't she reminisce about it a lot? would she yearn for her mother? who were her childhood friends, how did she function at court?
and the whole point of saying alll of that is to argue the misuse of these topics - serious discussions abuse are only reserved for certain situation, and others its completely undermined in a way that only reinforces the negative ideals to begin with. (i.e. nesta needs to abused bc..." "the intervention was harsh but" - pair that with discussion around what feyre needed in acomaf - and it makes much more sense).
nesta antis often jump between the fact that nesta is so favored that sjm nerfed feysand to 'redeem her' and arguing that sjm secretly does everything in her power to embarrass and secretly laugh at people who like nesta's character. (1) we've gotta pick one or the other (2) in my humble opinion - sjm would have always given feyre a pregnancy plot like this regardless of whether this was nesta's book or elain. its literally so sjm. im shocked people are surprised she pulled the pregnancy as she did.
as with the tamlin discussion we had under this post - i think the story undermines its discussion of abuse with feyre/tam by essentially insinuating that tamlin (when placed in the same victimized position as feyre) should have sucked it up and braved out his abuse with amarantha (and the same with rhysand as well - esp with the deliberate foil of rhysand's 'willingness' v. tamlin's unwillingness). and when we start to have a real conversation ultilizing our own irl analysis and standards we really see how harmful and rather sisyphean the conversation becomes. instead of engaging with these topics earnestly, they only engage in them to prove a point - which is how the issue began in the first place. the whole issue with rhysand isn't the fact that he engages with harmful, potentially villainous positions. no - its that the book wants to prove that tamlin is wrong by justifying rhysand's actions. so even though rhysand and tamlin almost always have the same written and expressed intentions in their abuse of feyre, the book flocks to justify one, and eschews the other. and thats why we get so much reactionary critcism of rhys that is surface: people only admit the problems because they know antis will, not because they actually believe their are issues in the story.
and perhaps im still speaking into a void here but i can tell there's tension between pro stans wanting to have these serious conversations but understanding they can only really introspect so far until the conversation begin to prod at the validity of the topics being brought forth. so stans have to jump between invalidating the romantasy genre ("its just faeries") and treating this book as a serious topic (cue: "sjm put a hotline in the back of the book"). this is also the exact reason why the racism conversations stall (i.e. why inherent superiority is always passively emphasized - despite cc1 + 2 centering human oppresion there is no human in the ensemble cast. despite the fact that illyrian women are the most oppressed - rhys has no illyrian women - or reg illyrians (not his brothers) in his inner circle. aelin 'sacrificing' her human body).
#anti sjm#anti rhysand#anti feyre#anti acosf#anti feysand#anti sjm: nesta archeron#anti nessian#queue0118
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so i recently realized my own popular multichaps have all begun to intimidate me. I think I'm scared that what i write wont be good enough for the people who are praising it, so im just stuck writer-blocked. Im not really sure how to break out of that mentality
I've definitely been there before, anon *hugs*
I think one thing to remember is that those folks who are currently praising it? They're praising it. That means that they like it. They're enjoying your story as you've presented it so far.
Endings are hard. That's one of the unfortunate truths about creating stories. Endings don't have to be perfect though, and they don't have to please every person who's reading. I've written endings that folks were disappointed by, but they were still able to enjoy everything up to that part. That's nothing to sneeze at.
When I get into this headspace, I need to separate the writing from the posting. I've put fics on hiatus before (adding the words ON HIATUS to the summary and an author's note to the last chapter saying the same thing), and just by giving that signal that folks shouldn't expect an update imminently, I was able to give myself the breathing room I needed to work my way through things.
Figure out the rest of your fic before you start posting it again, and that might take a bit of the pressure off. And you can always reach out to a friend or a regular reader to see if they'd be willing to beta for you because you're anxious about the story.
Writers, please feel free to add on how you manage when you get in this headspace. Readers, feel free to add on how you feel when it comes to WIPs that you enjoy.
If you're on Dreamwidth (or want to comment as a guest), you can find this entry there too. It's easier to have a conversation in threaded comments, so I'm giving this a try.
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ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.
because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.
and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.
anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!
i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else
i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through
and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .
but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:
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