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chitinleg · 1 year

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got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

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starryluminary · 9 months

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Wow that's crazy wow that's crazy it's crazy how they're standing in a way that they look like they're almost holding hands wow that's crazy that's crazy wow that's cra

#sorry im going off the deep end #I know this makes me look like a fool that sees things that arent there but they just #make me insane #positive #ive been busy and rewatching the show by pieces and do you ever notice how often theyre together??????#like standing next to eachother having their name called out one after the other that kind of stuff #cause its. alot. they do that alot for some reason.#ok thats it sorry for the ramblings of a crazy noco shipper #total drama #noco #total drama noco #td noco #Starry speaks

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yellowocaballero · 1 month

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Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences #i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason #its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience #that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told #it's. incredible.#in stars and time #start again start again start again #start again: a prologue #isat #god and there is so so so so much more to say here #what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby #i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all.#i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did #but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim #and i write about it a lot #and video games about being video games are wonderful #as are stories about being stories #and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us.#never played a video game that used its medium so well #i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think #stories about stories have to be about why we love stories #and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art #i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while.#some people need to be anywhere but here #and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever #baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot

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gar-trek · 2 years

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They had a little Tom and Jerry thing going on

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mrspockomakeitso · 27 days

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Brb gonna have a lil breakdown about how the world perceives me differently than i see myself and i may never feel like my true self is known. Might get ice cream after.

#yes im a small cis girl who cant lift thirty pounds #but in spirit i am a middle aged man with a mysterious past and deep thoughts who is strong but kind #i just hate that everyone looks at me like im a little kid or fragile or quiet #i have feelings! that arent 'oh im so afeared of the big bad wolf'

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oatbugs · 2 months

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idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

#listen. take a deep breath. i know your bpm is high but you need to think with me for a second.#remember that you are paper thin. all your facets are sheets of paper and what you gave her is just another one.#make a new one. you dont need it. you dont need her to see you. i know you think you need her but you will be okay. i know its hard.#you wish you could have shown her how you loved her. listen to yourself. you are made of paper.#she might be concrete or maybe wood or maybe gold. you need to start laying your roots elsewhere. shut that thought down #and blink and listen. the parts you keep thinking of arent lost. they still happened and they are yours to keep.#there is beauty in this loss. tell me about the beauty in this loss. its okay to think about it. you got to see it all and nothing more #and this is great because it would have been bad. you know it would be violent in a way you dont need. you know this to be true.#you are going to look at that empty space in her shape and youre going to fill it with everything that happened when you knew her.#the memories with her but then also the the way your friends talked you through it. the game with the clovers.#your first allergic reaction you almost died and you couldnt stop laughing and you were held so close to their hearts.#learning the names for all the floursecent gene tracking dyes that everyone else knows already. about the exam - listen again.#i know you think if you fail your life is over but you need to try your best. youre not going to get a good grade in a uni test for the fir #youre going to make up for it. youre going to make sure you make up for it. do you understand? i love you. you have to do this.#right now you need to sit up. breathe. i know your heart hurts. go to the living room. grab something to eat. i dont care if you feel full.#youre going to clean your mattress heater. youre going to study a bit longer and then youre going to sleep. youre going to tell your mother #im sorry and i might genuinely fail a test. shes going to tell you its okay. if you do badly in this course you can just become a neurosurg #just agree. dont argue right now. its okay. youre okay. you are paper thin. i know any puncture hurts.#breathe. think of your friends. think of their hands in yours. it isnt eternal.youve lived through worse. the empty sky is still beautiful.#the lack of her is still beautiful

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craycraybluejay · 1 month

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im attracted to abstract concepts found in morbidly perverted things

#the kind of mental illness you only unlock when you have someone else to make yoy specially ill you know?#someone who makes you sick in a way thats truly rare and unusual #normal and good and whatever are boring #but there's a charm to a twisted up web of fringe ideas and terms that can barely begin to describe #idk maybe bc im schizo i just assign extra meaning to things that 'arent that deep'#but idk there are unique beaties only i can notice and maybe its horror but its beautiful too #and there are never enough words #other than 'i am disgusting and you are my muse'#to look at someone and just in that one moment there is a universe of unnamed emotion in looking at them #and its not stuff like Being In Love most of the time #its more like. wow theres something so wrong with you. wow your hair looks so beautiful in this angle. wow.. wow #wow you chew really interesting. your opinions are horrible. i can fix you. i want to make you worse #in a millisecond its like having lived an entire life staring at this one person #and thinking a million bundled twisted twined thoughts of them #and always the best word you can really grab for it is WOW #im in awe with whatever the fuck my brain just did in response to the existence of You #and quite possibly it will never do that again #its not like in loveness or like some weird limerence #but in this one singular point in time You fascinate me beyond comprehension #the pores in your skin fascinate me. what you had for dinner fascinates me.#another good word is enthralled.. enraptured.. deluded.. religious #i can tell you the falling in love on acid phenomenon is like this but ten times less or more than ten less #i know bc ive had that #but conceptually it feels similar

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lystring · 8 months

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just love that amongst all the insane pushback people have been getting lately for talking very openly about fatphobia in our society which is a serious problem people are straight up reblogging posts adding severely triggering images of extremely anorexic people as some sort of Gotcha, like fatphobia Cant be real because Look how mean people are being about this person who is clearly dying from one of the worst diseases born Out Of Our Fucking Society Being Fatphobic im losing my mind what is happening etc

#like i dont think ive ever talked about this on this blog or ever #but i used to be DEEP into proana tumblr back in the day like.#most of us didnt consider ourselves 'proana' or 'probulimia' or whatever but it was a fucking lifestyle and it was a dark hole #that i had to claw myself out of #and im sorry its extremely triggering that people are harping onto posts TALKING ABOUT A REAL ISSUE THEY DO NOT EXPERIENCE #with images of severely diseased women sayin Well Actually Your Experiences Arent That Bad Cus Look #We Also Have It Bad #yeah well #one does not detract from the other #and also Maybe. hmm. there is a correlation...if not even causation........#maybeeeee if fatphobia wasn't such a huge issue....you wouldn't feel the need to...idk avoid experiencing that...#cus like okay I know im only speaking from my own experience but #seeing the way society treated fat people growing up constantly surrounded by people on Diets all the time #trying to Avoid being fat at All Cost #miiight have contributed to my ED and wanting to be skinny #like.#honestly moving away from those spaces and being friends with and following people that experience fatphobia #has heloed me in soooo many ways to just like accept myself a bit more and also realize the enormous damage #that fatphobia does to us through media and social media like #im honestly just ranting rn but god im so mad #I saw like One Too Many posts like that but didn't wanna jump on being annoying so i made my own posr #im sorry for anyone going through it rn being stuck in proana or fitblr whatever hell #because like it wont make it better. it will feel like your only escape because People in your life wont understand #but it will just continue to pull you in until nothing else or no-one else mkes sense #and that is Not Good or okay and yeah #talk to someone outside of this site about this please #don't argue with others talking about their own experiences that you cant relate to because if you somehow #like #see that as an attack on you personally #thats a problem...you need to address that.

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nightfallsystem · 1 month

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tw stupid vent in tags

#tw self harm #tw vent #“being a teenager is the best!” I CUT MYSELF ALMST EVERYDAY.#IVE SCARRED MYSELF SO BAD ILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO WEAR SHORT SLEEVES NO MTTER HOW LONG IT SBENE SINCE IT HAPPENED #I ONYL SPEAK TO LIKE ONE OR TWO PEOPLE IRL I AM DETERIORATING #I ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING SCAR SO BIG U CAN FEEL WHERE IT GETS DEEP #HOW .#HOW IS THIS GOOD #HOW DO I HAVE HTE BEST LIFE HOW R PEOPLE JEALOUS #WHENEVER I GET MISGENDERED I CANT HELP BUT BITE MYSELF UNTIL I BLEED which is really hard to do...#IM SO SIKKC OF IT #IM SO TIREDD.#im going insane again arent i #THERES NOT BEEN A WEEK WITHOUT SELF HARM SINCE GOD KNOWS WHEN #EVERY LIMB HURTS except my right leg specifically i saved that one for spare parts #oh and my goddamn mother only cares about how ill look because of the scars and not that im FUCKING BLEEDING OUT BCUZ OF HER NO LESS #DOES IT GET BETTER. DO I STOP CUTTING MYSELF??#everytime i see a little too much blood it reminds me of when i did it and i feel sick to my stomach

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haunted-xander · 9 months

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What the fuck is up with the "blue eyes theory" thing I see everywhere on insta literally none of them look good. I get that it's supposed to make a character look more attractive and/or intimidating but it. does not. at all.

#the worst offenders are characters with yellow or red eyes #they ALWAYS look awful. it NEVER suits them #ESPECIALLY YELLOW.#also im pretty sure half of these people arent even doing it right #i think its only supposed to be a glowing light blue and not the deep blue a lot of ppl seem to go for fsr #cant even do the damn 'theory' right #i genuinely do not get why people like this #the only ones that are even close to looking decent are the ones that... barely change...#like characters with teal eyes & stuff #and even then they look much better with their og eye color #listen i dont usually complain about stuff like this bc in the end its all harmless #but im tired and sleep deprived and kinda stressed bc of irl stuff and i want to be a hater for just a bit. a tiny bit.#anyway thats all im annoyed and tired and im gonna go do. not complaining stuff now #xander rambles

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authoralexharvey · 2 months

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Ngl the reason I don't join more writeblr discords is—well, firstly, I'm already in enough of them—but more importantly, because people get inflated egos over being mods way, way too often. And for no real good reason, either, given they're shit moderators. And I don't have enough energy in me to constantly parse out whether a mod is on an ego trip anymore tbh.

#yes im vaguing yes i know #IDK I've Just Heard A Couple Of Stories Recently About Servers I Already Had My Reservations On #And Each Time It Appears I Was Right to Be Hesitant. Too Often People Have Ego Trips Over Running A Community #And The Sad Part Is Theyre Shit At the Community Running Part. Or They Have WAY Too Strict/Confusing Rules #Or They Overinflate How Much Work They Need to Put In to Belay Any Concerns Raised By Their Members #NGL Each Time Someone Complains About How Hard They Have It Running A Discord I Roll My Eyes Stupid Hard #Ive Done My Fair Share of Moderation Over The Years Unless You Are Micromanaging Every Single Convo It Is NOT That Deep #Sad Part Is Some People DO Wanna Just Micromanage Every Little Conversation. And Then Get Mad Their Rules Aren’t Followed to A T #Not To Mention The Super Culty Ones. Looking At You WTW.#If Youre In A Server With A Very Clear In-Group That You Arent A Part Of? Yeah....#In Those Servers Especially. Getting Decent Conversation Is Like Pulling Teeth #And Anyway Like I Said Im Happy With The Amount of Servers Im In ATM.#Dont Have Need Or Time for Overcrowded Hyper-Regulated Servers With Mods On An Ego Trip. Sorry #alex has the floor

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linddzz · 1 year

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If you gave me just the pitch of an adult cartoon reboot of the Scooby gang, with Velma as the main protagonist, with hints of Velma/Daphne, with those character designs standing in a line I would be SO hype. On paper that is my entire shit. And yet. And YET...

#velma #GOD the writing in that trailer....oof #even the jokes that arent mean spirited are just. not good.#my face was full neutral or pained sigh the entire time #it wants to be the harley quin show so bad #im so mad bc velma looks so cute!!!!#it doesnt even look bad enough to warrant a deep look it just look boringly bad #'you cant speculate on sexuality unless theyre famous or peppermint patty' im. listen i know what joke youre trying for #like i get it. yeah i get it. but its just not a joke. its not offensive its just not a joke???

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sol-flo · 1 year

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are there any (preferrably good) deep sea horror movies? i mean set entirely underwater. feels like there are many prominent games but i can't think of any movies. i guess they wouldn't work as well maybe

#for all the annoying talk about 'ooooh thalassophobia ooh creepy squid' there seems to be a void here #(of course coming at it from this pov would be terribly lame. i dont want jaws with a squid)#ive been searching a bit and if your listicle has jaws as underwater horror i cant really take it seriously... like theres a beach...#im looking for claustrophobic stuff. i do not want to see the sky.#there's a book. i dont think it was translated to other languages #it's called as águas vivas não sabem de si by aline valek #its been a while since i last reread it but iirc it's entirely set on an underwater research station. its pretty good #also maybe there arent as many games as i thought. top of mind there's water womb; iron lung; titanic 2 (not really horror ig)#wait. turgor pressure. ocean work (not 100% underwater though)#hey. don't cry. 172 games tagged both horror and underwater on itch ok #um anyway if anyone has deep sea horror reccs for someone who loves the deep sea and its creatures

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snekdood · 1 year

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Quite honestly, i think people just dont like to acknowledge how many times i have been victimized bc it doesnt work for their narrative of the Scary Bad Trans Guy With No Regard For Others And Likes To Kick Puppies And Doesnt Know Real Pain Or Trauma

#bc otherwise yall would have to feel bad about putting me through way more additional unnecessary trauma on here #and i swear its yall who believe everything my abuser says about me. you need to tell yourself its true that i did the shit they accuse me #of and theyre just this pure uwu innocent pewson who doews no wongg umu #yall dont wanna except ive been through hell bc then you gotta accept youve put me through additional unnecessary hell that only warped my #perception worse of a community i thought i was fuckin part of and accepted in but apparently tf not #like you only have yourselves to blame for that shit. for why i hate online queer spaces now.#man it would just suck so so hard for your narrative if i was actually abused as much as i say and my abusive x was actually lying about me #bc otherwise how will you pretend trans men never ever experience any issues ever?#like i dont need to look. ik im one of the main blogs yall like to target and put on blast for transandrophobia stuff bc im super fuckin #outspoken about my shit (nevermind that yall never directly confront me). i already know thats how it is bc theres ppl on here who have a #apparently deep interest in constantly hating me and trying to find reasons im wrong. so when i say something is bad they habe to act like #its good actually somehow. and ik it all roots back to my abuser. there is literally no other reason i can think of that would mame ppl #that invested in hating me unless they believe everything my ex says. so undoubtedly theres ppl in my exs spaces who believe #transandrophobia is fake men arent oppressed ever etc etc. i digress. but ik its yall who've propped this whole shit up #ik its yall who put me on blast for this first and triwled to spread it that i was one of the Big Bad Names in the transandrophobia spaces #so ik yall use me as an example. ik you tell people i lie about everything. ik you tell people i exaggerate. ik you tell people im crazy #ik you tell ppl they cant trust me or rely on me and spread all the bs my ex says about me and even spreads their abuse toward me further #by even doing that shit. yall NEED to keep believing that im the Big Bad Trans Guy that you think i am bc otherwise your whole worldview #falls tf apart. everything you've been standing on online about how trans mascs who believe in transandrophobia are bad would fall apart.#if i am really as fuckin abused and victimized as i say. suddenly you dont get to use me as the example for Bad Transandrophobia Believer #and I KNOW thats the only reason yall choose not to listen or believe us. its LITERALLY just because you're choosing a side in a personal #relationship situation. ik it has nothing to do with politics for plenty of you. you're taking a side and shitting out reasons for why you #did after the fact.#if you really care about politics n shit you should listen to ALL THE OTHER TRANS MEN TALKING ABOUT THIS #besides using one person as your example for why you shouldnt believe people who believe this is a thing.#i mean. even aside the fucking fact that its all bs. if yall dont wanna believe me. whatever. you can get traumatized by them if you want #idefc at this point. if you actually care about politics as much as you say you gotta engage w people in good faith and uh maybe try n #listen to the SWATHES of other trans guys who also talk about this shit and thinks its real.

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skylordhorus · 6 months

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oh are we gatekeeping the term tomboy now???

#*deep space noises*#fuck the idea that if you dont ‘look’ enough like something in the way people expect #then you arent it #tomboy is a special word for me #i did not know you could be nonbinary as a child #nor did anyone around me talk about it #but i did know that girl didnt feel right but neither did boy #but i heard the word tomboy #and young me clung to it fervently despite not ‘looking’ or ‘acting’ extremely tomboyish #tomboy granted me a little space where i felt a bit more comfortable with gender #and it wouldnt realise why until much later #so please dont you dare gatekeep that word #dont withhold it from more people like me- learning and pushing and experimenting #leave some space #sigh im going to bed

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potpiehead · 5 months

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in my mind if you did everything you were supposed to health-wise barring any freak accidents you could live to 200

#i be sedentary as hell eating like im a dog about to get put down thinking im gonna live to 98 with zero complications #bitch he loss of youthful delusions of invincibility is near.#<- dont listen to her. she cant die #that being said my family does have a history of living old as fuck like 90+. and none of them were severely disabled or ill even in old age #other than the typical diseases u would obviously expect at that age but even then they arent bad in that regard.#and i dont exactly come from a family of olympic athletes lol #only person in my family who died young ish was my grandpa who was like a severe alcoholic and heavy heavy smoker #i think he died in his 50s #or late 40s #i saw this article that said the first person to live to 1000 (!!!!) is probably alive today and i didnt even look into it but deep down im #like. ur looking at her!!#<- get real

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