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#im just....so unwell over everything today

mixtape-racha · 9 months

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YAYYYYYY 100 followersssss :) im so happy for youuuuu :)))))

okay, here is my request... hehe, im suchhh a sucker for hurt comfort and I loveeee fem 9th member au's. but like not smut or like fwb, just like a really juicy story y'know? I haven't been able to find any of those two categories combined tho, especially into like a longer fic, like it's always in the hundreds (I would love it if it was a little longer, no pressure tho :). literally, anything works, from some kinda mess up on stage to maybe you messing up a relationship w a member??? idk. I'm letting ur thoughts run wild here... THANK YOU AND CONGRATSSSS

(im sorry im really vague in requests lol)

YAYYYY THO IM LIKE REALLYYYY PROUD OF YOU<<<3333 LOV U BB KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DOOOO

thank you so much my lovely bae!! ilysm and i hope i did this request justice!! i kind of went off on a tangent and got carried away with the plot waaa <3

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sorry seems to be the hardest word

pairing: ot8 x fem!9th member!reader

warnings: angst, hurt comfort, reader snapping at the members, reader being physically unwell, fluff at the end

words: 2.29k

everything was going wrong today, and you truly meant every. fucking. thing.

somehow, you had managed to turn your alarm off the night before (probably because you fell asleep while on your phone, accidentally calling your mom in you sleep in the process), and none of the guys took the initiative to wake you up when they got up.

okay, sure, you couldn’t blame them entirely. you were a grown woman, and you could look after yourself. but weren’t you supposed to be a team? eight other people surrounding you, and none of them thought to check on you? especially when you were usually up and alert before they were? no, instead they were all out the door without even knocking to see if you were feeling okay. so much for being your brothers and best friends.

so god forbid, you were late this morning. you managed to turn up at the company for your vocal lessons only ten minute late, but it felt awful as you’d never been late before. you were so incredibly lucky to get the opportunity to debut with skz, especially joining the group later in their career and being the only girl. you wanted to do everything perfectly to show that you deserved to be where you were, and with the way today was shaping out you were so disappointed with yourself.

but then - it got worse. you, in your rush to leave the dorms, had forgotten your sheet music, leaving your vocal teacher to be short and snappy with you. yeah, you brought it up on your phone instead, but she was strict, and a firm believer in “good old-fashioned pen and paper over your silly little radio devices nowadays”. her attitude towards you for the remainder of your lesson affected you more than you liked to admit - excusing yourself to the bathroom to have a little cry before you headed to the studio.

for some reason, none of your schedules were properly coordinated today, leaving jisung to be the one in the studio with you - rather than chan, like usual - while you recorded your lines for the demos to be sent to the company later in the month, when you’d decide the songs for the new album you had upcoming later in the year.

jisung was always the nicest to you, especially when he could tell you were having a rough day - you were both very alike in that sense, very attentive towards each other as if you could tell what the other was feeling.

however, it seemed today that something had crawled up his ass and died. he was almost as snappy as your vocal teacher, and you were quite frankly sick of it. you kept messing up your lines; whether from the stress or the ache building in your throat (god you hoped you weren’t getting sick), you weren’t sure. but clearly, jisung wouldn’t stand for it.

“honestly, (y/n), you might as well just call it a day and come back to this with chan-hyung another day. i need to get on with other stuff.” he sighed, dismissively, as you bit back the tears fighting to escape your eyes. he wouldn’t even look at you, and your stomach was doing somersaults. was he really that mad? surely he could see how hard you were trying.

but instead of confronting him, you just grabbed your belongings and left after silently agreeing. no one answered your message on the group chat when you asked if anyone was down to get lunch together, even though you could see basically everyone had read it, so you retreated to the canteen alone before you had to go to practice with the boys.

as the ache in your throat spread to your joints, fatigue plaguing you, you trudged up to the practice room for rehearsals with the boys. you were learning a new dance - in fact, the already chosen title track for the new album, and deep down you were dreading it. it was more difficult than you had imagined, and definitely aimed more towards moves the boys could do compared to you. you loved the boys, but sometimes you felt like they forgot that men and women’s bodies worked differently.

surprisingly, you weren’t the last to arrive, squashing your fear of another thing going wrong.

but just as soon as practice began, your fear was reawakened. the ache in your joints was making the dance more difficult for you to execute, and you could feel the annoyance radiating off of minho’s body even if he wouldn’t admit it. you stumbled a few times, almost knocking into felix, who looked at you more frustrated than concerned.

“seriously, (n/n), what’s going on? it’s really not that hard. get your head in the game.”

you huffed, shaking out your limbs and telling minho to start the track again. maybe if you ignored your surroundings, ignored how you were feeling, then things would be easier. you could block out minho’s harsh criticisms - he was probably just tired. you could block out everything, knowing the boys were suffering just as much as you lately. but when the music stopped again, and everyone was talking at you, voice after voice lapping over each other you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“shut the fuck up! shut up, shut up, shut up! give me a fucking break, i’m trying my hardest!”

you honestly didn’t mean to snap, you were just so overwhelmed and couldn’t take anymore. when chan tried to put a comforting hand on your shoulder, you flung it off, all your annoyance and stress from the day building up at once.

“don’t fucking touch me. i don’t need your pity, i don’t need you to tell me that i don’t know how to do my job well enough. this is the fucking worst day of my life and you all keep making it worse!”

every fiber of your being was telling you to stop, to be reasonable, but it was like your mouth was making its own decisions. you couldn’t tell which member it was, but you were interrupting the gentle call of your name before you could even control it.

“and no, before any of you try to be funny, i’m not on my period,” you sneered, anger bubbling under your skin as you saw jisung look away sheepishly. “i’m just sick of feeling like i have to fight to prove i’m good enough, like i’m not one of you guys yet. we’re supposed to be a team, but all day i’ve been pushed to the side and treated like i don’t matter. i’m sick of it!”

you breathed heavily, grabbing your duffle bag from the side of the room and storming towards the door.

“i’m staying with yeji tonight, leave me the fuck alone.”

was all you said before leaving the boys stood in shock, confused as to why you were acting like you hated them.

regrettably, the minute you found yourself in yeji’s dorm and explained your day to her, you knew you were in the wrong. how could you let yourself treat your best friends that way? they didn’t deserve that, and you would be most understanding if they never forgave you. it was only when the throb in your head and ache in your joints became too much that you finally allowed yourself to sleep.

chan’s apology

luckily, you and the boys were granted a week off a while ago, and today marked the first day of that week. however, knowing chris he was probably still hauled up in the studio from the night before. it was around 3am (yeji shouldn’t have let you crash so early, your sleep schedule was going to be manic), so you pulled yourself together before making the decision to go visit him.

he may not even want to see you after your little outburst, but you could still try.

you stopped by the convenience store on your way to the studio, grabbing some snacks and some drinks just to be on the safe side. carefully checking the group chat, you saw that changbin was still in the studio with chan and you hoped you could get there before he left - it might be easier to kill two birds with one stone. you were just glad you bought way too much food for just two people.

you smiled politely, bowing at the security guard as he let you into the building, heart thumping in your ears as you carefully traced the steps to chan’s studio.

when you finally approached the door, you had to take a minute to prepare yourself to knock. you heard chan’s voice mumbling behind the door once you did, nervously waiting until he came and opened it.

he looked surprised to see you, frozen for a moment before quickly ushering you in and sitting you on the couch next to changbin. almost in instinct, changbin’s arm was slung around your shoulder - something he always did when you were close by, relishing in the fact he wasn’t the shortest in the group anymore.

you sheepishly held out the bag containing all the goodies you got at the convenience store to chan, a small smile on your face when he took it.

“got you some snacks.. kind of guessed you might have forgotten to eat.” your voice was quiet, ashamed. you just hoped they wouldn’t hold your outburst against you.

but when chan grinned, you knew he could never be mad at you for long.

“we were worried about you, y’know? that’s why jisung let you go early today - something seemed off and we didn’t want you to get too overwhelmed.” changbin said from next to you, the hand on your shoulder rubbing it comfortingly.

you couldn’t stop the tears from welling up behind your eyes again, but bit them back in fear they’d think you were looking for sympathy.

“i– i’m so sorry. i’ve just had an awful day, and i feel like shit, but that doesn’t excuse my actions, and i shouldn’t have snapped at you all - you couldn’t have known, and its not your fault.”

you explained why your day had been so bad to them (after some pushing from chan), and how you were feeling physically, causing changbin to look at you with great worry.

they indulged in a small cuddle session, feasting on the snacks you provided while they tried to help cheer you up. and honestly, it worked, just talking through how you were feeling, and gettin constructive feedback rather than just a shoulder to lean on was relieving.

you couldn’t apologize to them more, feeling so ashamed of your actions, but they were quick to reassure you it was okay - everyone had bad days, you were only human after all. you just needed to work on your communication a little bit.

when you finally got ready to head back to the dorm at 5am, you felt better than you had in a long time, actually.

apology numbers one and two: complete.

but when you arrived back at the dorm, head peacefully resting on changbin’s shoulder, what you weren’t expecting to walk into was what you all called a “cuddle pool” - the sofa bed pulled out, covered with pillows and blankets - and a spot waiting for you between felix and seungmin.

your eyes watered at the expectant faces of your soul-brothers, small sobs leaving your lips as your shoulders shook. god, the day had taken a toll on you - you couldn’t remember the last time you cried in front of the boys.

it was only then that minho - who you hadn’t seen standing by the door - scooped you into a hug.

“oh, angel,” he frowned, a hand pressed to your forehead. “you’re burning up. is that why you felt so bad earlier?”

words seemed to fail you, and all you could do was nod as your grip on his sweater tightened. it certainly wouldn’t be the first time you got sick from stress, but you hated being sick. you hated feeling out of control in your own body, and despised being doted on like you were unable. however, this time… you think you could let it slide. you just needed your boys close by right now.

they seemed to enjoy looking after you, and you felt you owed them that after the situation in the practice room.

minho was quick to place on you on the couch, felix and seungmin suffocating you in a bone-crushing hug. jisung handed you the tv remote, saying you could choose to watch whatever you wanted, and that everyone would be having a slumber party in the living room until you felt better.

minho and chan had gone to make you some chicken noodle soup - using felix’s mom’s recipe, which was known for being a lifesaver in your dorm. jeongin was quick to grab you your comfort plushie, taking his place on the floor by your feet - the two of you were 100% keen on physical affection, but having him close by helped.

within merely an hour, all nine of you were curled up, an animated disney movie playing, with soup and mugs of tea being passed around the room. it was nice, and it felt so good to have your boys so close and willing to help you.

you definitely took on changbin’s mention of needing to improve on communication, wanting nothing more than to improve yourself for the little family you had build around you. and yeah you were sick, and they would probably get sick too by being in such close proximity to you, but that was a problem for another day. you’d just return the favor of looking after them.

you just knew you were lucky to have them.

taglist: join taglist here @pretty-racha @chubbyanarkiss @taeriffic @mits-vi @chanssmiles @5kayzee @torixx80 @fawnpeaks @bangtanmix73 @savluvsmingi @boi-bi-ahaha

#mixtape-racha #mixtape-racha fic #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz 9th member #fem reader #chan x reader #minho x reader #changbin x reader #hyunjin x reader #jisung x reader #felix x reader #seungmin x reader #jeongin x reader #skz hurt comfort #skz angst

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megalony · 3 months

Text

Thank Me Later

This is a new Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by Anon. I hope you will all like it, I had fun writing this one. I'm trying to work through my requests as quickly as I can.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts

911 Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) starts to feel unwell on shift and tries to sleep it off, but things go from bad to worse when she interrupts a thief at the station. Then becomes a hostage.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What have we got today?" Evan leaned his arms onto the kitchen counter and arched his back out as he crossed one leg over the other. His head tilted to one side and he grinned as he watched Bobby take a large square dish out of the oven.

They were actually on time for tea today which was a miracle around the station. The bell hadn't sounded and dragged them off to a call out right in the middle of their meal or when they were just about to sit down and eat. Everyone could eat properly today, it had been a calmer day than they were used to.

"Pasta bake," Bobby looked up from the large serving bowl and smiled widely when he could see Evan's eyes widen happily.

"Do you want a drink?" (Y/n) looked up at Eddie as the pair of them headed up the stairs and turned to the left towards the kitchen. She knew he was keeping a slow pace to walk at her speed which had suddenly taken a very drastic decline, but he didn't say anything.

She could feel Eddie's hand hover over her lower back as he nodded and let her move in front of him towards the fridge while he went to sit down.

(Y/n) tried to calm her breaths but she bit down on her lip when her fingers curled around a glass and she realised her hand was shaking. All day yesterday she hadn't felt great but being on shift today only made her feel worse. They had been on a big callout to a car accident this morning and it had somehow snatched all of (Y/n)'s energy and left her feeling burnt out and dead on her feet.

Deep down, she knew she was probably coming down with something. She was hungry but the smell and the thought of food made her uneasy and her head was pounding like she was being hit with a hammer. But she didn't want to go off sick. (Y/n) couldn't leave the station in bother when they had three people off this week and someone had been snatched for another station that was low on regulars.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she poured two glasses of juice and dug her nails into the glass so harshly her fingers began to throb and ache. She couldn't risk dropping the glasses.

It was a relief when she shuffled over to the table and was able to put a glass down in front of herself and Eddie. She let herself flop down into her seat and took a second to tilt her head back and close her eyes, relishing in the way her muscles stopped aching and weighed down when she sat and relaxed.

"Are you alright?"

A shiver bolted down (Y/n)'s spine and her eyes snapped open when she felt Eddie's lips hover over the shell of her ear as he leaned close enough that his chest bumped her shoulder. And when his hand gave her knee a squeeze, (Y/n) almost melted into a puddle in her chair.

Why did Eddie have to have such an effect on her?

They were friends. Good friends. Close friends. He meant everything to her but the closer Eddie got to her, the more (Y/n) started to panic. She didn't want to feel this way about someone she worked with. What if Eddie didn't feel this connection as deeply as she did? (Y/n) couldn't handle that kind of rejection and then go and see Eddie every day and work so close to his side that they almost felt like a married couple.

How could she watch his back when all she wanted to do was reel him close and kiss him? She couldn't look out for him when her mind was too focused on what he looked like out of the uniform.

(Y/n) realised she hadn't answered and quickly nodded her head despite the pain it caused to bolt down the back of her neck and how her eyes rolled and lost focus from the slight movement.

"Thanks," She whispered quietly when Hen held a plate of pasta out to her since she was the one dishing up the food today.

The steam coming from her plate made her nose crinkle and her head started to swim from the heat. She already felt like she was trapped in an oven and had to switch her button up shirt for a plain cotton shirt with no sleeves to let her body breathe and cool back down.

Two bites of pasta had (Y/n) pressing the back of her hand against her mouth as she willed herself not to throw up at the dinner table.

Her head tilted down and she took a few deep breaths, trying to keep her food down as she set down her fork and grabbed her glass instead. Maybe skipping lunch would be a good idea to let her body settle. She could try and eat better when they had tea later on in the shift.

Eddie cleared half his plate before he tilted his head down to the right and realised (Y/n) hadn't eaten more than three forkfuls. His brows furrowed and he put down his fork so he could slide his hand beneath the table and give her knee another squeeze to grab her attention. He could see she wasn't paying attention to the conversation floating around the table and frankly, neither was he.

His full attention was landing on (Y/n) now.

She had wobbled when they got out the truck earlier and he had to grab her before she fell down to her knees. He knew she hadn't eaten breakfast this morning and she had almost lost her footing again on the stairs a while ago. She was having dizzy spells and that was beginning to concern Eddie.

"What's wrong?"

Turning in his seat, Eddie moved so his body was facing (Y/n) and he stretched his right arm behind her and gripped the back of her chair. While his left hand propped his chin up and he tilted his head at an angle to look at her. No one else was paying them much attention so it didn't matter if he turned his back on the rest of the table to give (Y/n) his full attention.

"Eddie…"

Her head was splitting like someone was banging a drum so harshly that her head was ripping open at the seams. The thudding of her heartbeat pulsed beneath her skin and pounded through her head so badly that she couldn't even see anymore. All she could make out were the black and white sparkles blinking in front of her eyes.

"Hm?" He pursed his lips and dared to move his hand from her chair to rest on her back but his pupils blew wide when he felt her body loosen and watched her head drop forward.

As quick as anything, Eddie lurched his left hand forward and cupped his palm against (Y/n)'s temple to stop her face from landing in her dinner. He held up her head and slid his right arm down her back to wrap around her waist.

"Shit!"

Eddie scraped his chair back and gave it a swift kick so it was out of his way so he could crouch down beside (Y/n). He tilted her head back and cupped the back of her neck so her head didn't flop backwards and hurt her neck. And his other hand pressed against her neck just below her chin to feel her pulse which was running high.

His thumb brushed through her hair against her neck and he shifted his other hand higher to cup her cheek. He tilted her head down towards him and leaned up to check her pupils when her eyes slowly started to flicker open.

"(Y/n), are you with me?" Eddie could feel Hen hovering at his side, waiting to be given the order to go and get one of the medic bags so they could properly assess (Y/n).

She had only blacked out for a few seconds but it was enough to panic all of them. Especially Eddie.

(Y/n) let her head flop forward until her chin was pressed down into her chest but she managed to raise her hand enough to curl her fingers around Eddie's wrist and hum quietly. Her head kept pounding and the blood seemed to fizle and pop in her ears, but she could start to see again now without spots and dots flickering in front of her eyes. And she could hear Eddie's serenading voice in her ears.

She didn't realise how close he was until his thumb lifted her eyelid to check her pupil and she came face to face with his melted chocolate eyes.

Her heart did another leap in her chest when Eddie pressed the back of his hand against her temple. And (Y/n) let her head tip forward so she could brush her nose against his wrist while her fingers stayed curled around his other wrist.

"You're burning up."

"Alright, I think your shift is over." Bobby leaned his hips back against the table and folded his arms over his chest. His expression stayed stoic yet firm when (Y/n) groaned and tried to look up at him.

Her shift was almost over but she had another two and a half hours left, the same as Eddie. She couldn't leave now, especially not if they got another call out.

Shivers bolted up and down (Y/n)'s stomach and fireworks flickered in her fingertips when Eddie cupped her chin and tilted her head up. He stayed crouching in front of her and stayed silent, watching to see if she could hold her head up and if she was properly conscious.

His hand dropped from her face and (Y/n) suddenly felt cold and deflated until she felt where his hands moved to. One hand curled around her upper thigh and started to squeeze reassuringly while his other hand held her wrist and counted her pulse.

"You don't look good," Evan commented quietly, taking a swig of his drink as he leaned over the table to look at her. She looked sick. Sweating, unfocused vision, trembling and barely lucid. She wasn't well.

"Pulse is evening back out but I don't trust you to drive home." Eddie looked down at his watch before he looked back up between Bobby and (Y/n). "If you hang on I'll take you home when I finish." There was no way anyone was going to let (Y/n) drive home, not when she was burning a fever and she looked about ready to collapse again. She could have another blackout and that would be a disaster waiting to happen.

If she stayed here and tried to rest, Eddie would happily take her home when their shifts ended which wouldn't be long anyway.

He was relieved when (Y/n) nodded. She wanted to stay at the station and finish her shift. She wanted to be around Eddie. He made her feel better and right now, with his hand digging into her thigh, (Y/n) was fighting the urge to squirm and jump down into his lap.

"I'm okay," Her eyes flitted around to everyone but Eddie, trying to tell them that they could sit down and eat their dinner again. She didn't want to cause any more distraction and stop everyone from finishing their meal if the alarm sounded. Not that it bothered Evan who was practically finished now. She wanted them all to go back to their seats; everyone but Eddie.

Her hands moved to hold Eddie's biceps when he stood up and gripped her elbows, helping her up even though she didn't know what he was doing or where he was trying to take her.

His arm swooped around her waist and his hand pressed against her back between her hips and he guided her towards the stairs.

"Your shift hasn't ended yet," She whispered quietly, wiping her arm against her temple that was still flushed.

"I know, but if you're waiting for me to take you home then I need you to rest. Go sleep in the bunker until our shift finishes." The last thing Eddie wanted was for (Y/n) to bustle about the station trying to help out and overdo things. She was burning up a fever and she didn't look well. Eddie wanted her to try and take it easy and rest until he could take her home.

And if he was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure he would actually be taking (Y/n) home today. He might bring her back home with him so he could make sure she was alright. The last thing (Y/n) needed was to be ill and alone at home when she could stay with Eddie and Chris. It would stop Eddie from fretting about her.

A jolt ran down (Y/n)'s spine and her hand lurched around Eddie's bicep when the alarm bell sounded just as they reached the bottom of the stairs. She could feel Eddie's fingers digging into her back and his other hand grabbed her arm to steady her.

"Come on," He mumbled quietly as he guided (Y/n) down the corridor towards the bunker room. He wanted to make sure she actually laid down before he had to go out on this call. He knew what (Y/n) was like and if they went out on a call, she would end up cleaning and tidying and overdoing things.

(Y/n) could feel her mind starting to shut down the moment she flopped onto one of the cot beds. Her knees coiled up to her stomach and she wound one arm to her waist but in a moment of courage, (Y/n) curled her hand around Eddie's and brushed his hand against her cheek.

"I won't be long. Try and get some sleep, love."

Fireworks ignited throughout (Y/n)'s temple and down to her stomach that pumped with adrenaline when she felt Eddie's lips press against her temple. He had never done that before. Maybe he was doing it because she wasn't feeling well and he wanted to calm her down and reassure her.

But (Y/n) hoped the reason was because he secretly felt the same way she did.

***

(Y/n) could feel a storm rolling in behind her eyes and spreading all throughout her head when she groggily opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Her body swayed back and forth when she moved into an upright position on the small cot bed.

Her head lolled back and her eyes moved from left to right until they managed to regain focus again. A groan tumbled past her lips as her hands moved to slam down on the bed to prop herself up but her elbows were shaking and shivers rushed throughout her body.

When the drowsy feeling finally started to dissipate, (Y/n) flopped her head forward and tried to take deep breaths to clear the spots in front of her eyes.

Her hand moved to swipe against her forehead and she grimaced and cringed silently. Her body was flushed and covered in sweat.

Her fever was getting out of control.

It didn't feel like she had been asleep for long, but she couldn't be sure. She felt like she had only managed a ten-minute power nap but her churning stomach and throbbing head told her otherwise. Maybe she needed to go get a drink and wait out front for the team to come back. Once Eddie was back, he would be taking her home because he was right, (Y/n) was in no fit state to drive herself anywhere.

"Fuck," Her knees jerked back and forth when she stood up and her body dithered, deciding whether she could stand on her own two feet or if her weight was suddenly too much to handle.

Her balance felt off. It felt like her centre of gravity had shifted to the left and (Y/n) found her head and shoulders tilting to the left which made her body stumble in that direction when she aimed for the door.

This wasn't good. Eddie was right, she was coming down with something.

The station felt odd and uneasy when there weren't many people milling about the place. She had been left at the station by herself a few times for various reasons, but when she felt ill, the station suddenly felt gloomy and unsafe.

As she wandered down the hall, (Y/n) reached her hand out and trailed her palm across the wall to steady and support herself so she didn't end up taking a tumble down to the floor. Her body aimed to turn left but she stopped walking and looked across to the right when a sound caught her attention.

The only room down that small corridor was Bobby's office. Her feet fumbled beneath her when she darted a glance ahead of her. The fire trucks and the ambulance were gone. The team hadn't come back yet and Bobby wouldn't hang back at the station if the team went out on a call.

So who was in his office?

(Y/n) let her shoulder slump against the wall as she dithered down the corridor. Her heart started to beat faster in her chest when she noticed Bobby's office door was slightly ajar.

She couldn't recall whether Bobby locked the office when he wasn't here or not. It wasn't like the station was ever empty. Someone was always here, they were open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. There would always be people on shift and no one needed to go ransacking his office for anything. He had nothing of value hidden in there and no one who worked here would need to snatch anything from the office.

"What are you doing?" Her voice came out rather authoritative and her arms moved to cross over her chest.

She stood in the doorway of the office, frowning across at someone she didn't recognise. (Y/n) had worked at the station for over a year now, she knew everyone who worked here and she knew a few people from the other stations too. She didn't recognise the man in front of her which meant he didn't work here.

Begging the question, what was he doing in Bobby's office? What was he looking for?

(Y/n) realised a second too late that she had walked in on a very, very bad situation.

The man in question was wearing all black; trousers, boots, hoodie and gloves. The only thing he was missing was a mask. The drawers in Bobby's desk were all pulled out and ruffled through, papers were spilling over the edges, pens and stationary littered the floor and almost everything had been pushed off the desk onto the floor.

The cupboards behind the desk were currently being rooted through and by the stranger's foot, there was a duffle bag that was currently empty. He was trying to raid the station.

"Don't make this harder for both of us. Where's the valuables?"

Despite the panic rattling through her chest, the pain bolting across her temple and the unease clouding round her like a fog, (Y/n) managed something similar to a smile. Did he mistake the station for a bank or a posh mansion? What kind of valuables did he think they kept round here? This was a fire house, a place for emergencies. They sent out medical equipment and had ladders and jaws and electrical devices to help get people out of all sorts of situations and fires and people in medical distress.

They weren't a jewellery shop, stashing diamonds and necklaces in safes locked away in the office. They didn't keep money around the station either. Their wages were paid electronically and they had a bank card for any food or equipment they needed to buy; no cash was left on the premises, except for staff wallets in their lockers.

"This is a fire station, we don't have any valuables you can take. You need to leave." (Y/n) began to tap her fingers against her arm and her teeth ground together. She was ill, she wasn't in the mood to argue with a very bad thief. She would give him a head start and let him leave before she called Athena to report this.

"I'm not leaving until I have something of value with me."

"Then I'll call the police."

(Y/n) wasn't playing games, she knew she looked the picture of death right now and she was in no mood to negotiate or help him loot the station.

Her mind was already trying to fathom where she last had her phone while she took two steps back into the corridor and turned around. She wasn't standing around to watch, she would find her phone and call the police and try to contact Bobby to see if they were on their way back yet.

"I don't think so." That voice sent shivers running up and down (Y/n)'s spine and her feet started to flop and curl in a hurried attempt to start running. She needed a phone, she didn't want to get attacked.

A scream fell past (Y/n)'s lips and her hands moved to cup over her ears when a gunshot rang out through the air. Her body jolted to the left and slammed into the wall, the shock making her knees buckle until she slumped down onto her knees on the floor.

He had a gun.

Where did he get that from? She didn't see it on the desk or in his hand when she looked him up and down. He must have hidden it in his jeans or in the duffle bag by his feet. This changed things. (Y/n) couldn't try snd outrun him when she wasn't in the best state and he seemed willing to shoot her down. She was going to have to comply.

Her eyes snapped closed and her hands let go of her ears to hold out in front of her when she felt a rough hand tangle in her hair and wrench her head backwards. Her neck cricked with pain and her features scrunched up into a wince as she swallowed down a cry.

She braced her hands on the wall to help herself stand up when he all but dragged her to her feet by her hair. But when (Y/n) felt the barrell of the gun press down into her back between her hips, her body turned to jelly and she wobble don the spot.

"Now, you're going to show me where all the good stuff is that I can flog, and I might not shoot you at the end of this. Okay?"

"Hm." (Y/n) did her best to nod her head in agreement but when he harshly shook her head back and forth, bile rose in the back of her throat and she wavered on the spot.

"Well?"

"I-inventory… you can take t-the equipment, hacksaw, medical stock, it'll sell quick." (Y/n) opened her eyes but she could barely get her vision to focus down the hall.

He could take anything from the stock room. They had spare axes, hoses, jaws for car crashes. And any of their medical equipment would sell on the black market and to dodgy clinics all around LA. Everything they had in inventory would sell somewhere and get a good price. It might not be as good as stealing cash or jewellery or selling documents, but it was as good as he was going to get from the station.

"Let's go."

He ragged (Y/n)'s head back until she was almost touching his shoulder, then he suddenly gave her a rough shove forward and had her tripping over her feet. (Y/n) bound one arm around her chest and trailed her left hand along the wall to steady herself and to try and stay upright when her head was turning to mush and her body was ready to drop.

Why couldn't the team have come back already? He wouldn't be much of a match for any of the guys here. Evan and Eddie could of tackled him easily before he produced the gun and they could of outnumbered him.

(Y/n)'s feet stumbled beneath her and she stopped walking when they moved towards the main floor of the station.

The ambulance was parked up. The truck was reversing back in its usual spot. The team were back.

This was not going to go down very well.

His hand left her hair and moved to scrunch up the back of her shirt so he had a good grip in case she tried to move away from him. The gun moved higher until it was pressed between her shoulders and he stood tall behind her, keeping his chest touching her back so she knew he was in charge of this situation.

"Quick." He hissed in her ear and (Y/n) shakily pointed towards the right near the lockers. Behind the gym was the inventory and stock room. They weren't going to get over there without someone seeing them, surely he had to know that.

"(Y/n), hey are you feeling any better?"

Shivers bolted up and down (Y/n)'s spine and she could feel tears creeping up in the corners of her eyes.

Eddie's voice made her stomach melt like snow and sent her heart jumping up into her throat until she couldn't breathe. When she looked over her left shoulder towards him, a single tear traced down her face. He was stood behind the truck with his hands on his hips, no florescent jacket on which exposed his bulging arms to her sight. His hair was askew in all directions and traces of mud and dirt coated his face.

His shoulders straightened out and he quirked a soft smile, showing his teeth and creasing his eyes that made (Y/n) feel like her heart had left her chest and gone straight into his hands.

His smile started to fade when she didn't answer him. Eddie tried to catch back his breath but his upper lip curled in distaste when he watched (Y/n) just stare at him like she suddenly didn't know how to speak. He could see she was trembling and even from this distance, he could tell her breathing was rapid and uneven.

"She's fine."

Eddie tilted his chin up as his jaw loosened so he could run his tongue over his lips. He narrowed his eyes while his hands tightened around his hips. Who the Hell was that stood behind her? Eddie didn't recognise him, he wasn't wearing any sort of uniform for the station or police or any other job.

"I wasn't asking you. (Y/n)… is everything okay?" He wouldn't move until he heard from (Y/n) that she was okay and there wasn't a problem here because she didn't look well or comfortable. And Eddie wouldn't have that.

(Y/n) rolled her lips together to stop herself from saying anything but her chest shuddered when she felt the gun press harsher into her upper back and the man tried to pull her to keep moving. Before she could think better of it, (Y/n) started to shake her head. She grounded her feet to the spot and pulled back when the man tried to drag her away.

Her head violently shook from side to side and more tears flooded down her face, making a fire spark within Eddie's chest.

"Eddie…"

"Let go of her."

With his hands clenched into fists at his sides, Eddie started to walk forward. He didn't know what was going on here but he didn't like it at all. (Y/n) was crying and she looked worried and there was a stranger stood behind her like he was threatening her.

"Alright, let's try this again."

Eddie stopped short and stumbled onto his back foot when a gun was suddenly pressed against (Y/n)'s temple.

(Y/n) bit down on her lip harsh enough to draw blood when his hand fisted in her hair again and tilted her head back near his. Her shoulders bumped into his chest and she coiled her arms up towards her chest, scratching her nails into her neck to try and calm herself down when the barrell of the gun moved to the right side of her head.

"Cap." Eddie tilted his head to the side and took a quick glance over his shoulder before he looked back at (Y/n). He held his hands out in front of him to show he wasn't about to lunge forward or get a phone and start calling the police. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardise (Y/n)'s safety. Never.

He could feel Bobby standing behind him and soon enough the rest of the team was crowding around, all stood in a line, their unease mingling together and radiating out around the station.

What were they supposed to do? How could they help (Y/n) when she was now a hostage?

What could Eddie do?

"Okay, everybody stay where they are. We're not going to do anything unless you say so. What do you want?" Bobby took two steps forward so he was in front of his team. He was the captain, he was the one who was in charge of the station and responsible for the team. He wouldn't let anyone get hurt if he could help it and he would try and negotiate and do whatever he was asked to keep his team safe.

"Everybody over there. Now."

When he pointed towards the locker room, Bobby nodded and moved his hands out to usher the team in that direction.

Chimney and Hen moved first, being the closest to the locker room. Evan followed behind and kept moving when Bobby patted his shoulder and nudged him to follow. Bobby turned towards Eddie and rested a hand on his shoulder but Eddie shook him off.

He wasn't going to go and sit in there and risk this man walk off with (Y/n). One look at her and anyone could see she was sick. She was flushed, sweating, shaking and could barely keep her eyes focused. She needed to see a doctor and get away from this stressful situation. Eddie wasn't leaving her.

"Eddie, come on-"

"Let (Y/n) come with us. We're complying, let her stay with us and you can take what you want." Eddie waved his hand out in (Y/n)'s direction, trying to get her to safety with them. None of them were going to tackle him or overpower him when he had a gun on them. Having (Y/n) in the locker room with them would make it better for this guy. He could go and take whatever he wanted without having to drag her along with him.

"She's my security, she stays with me."

(Y/n) closed her eyes and tried to take a deep breath but it didn't relieve the lightheaded feeling swamping through her temple.

"Look at her, she's gonna collapse. Take one of us instead, she won't be much security when she drops."

The way Eddie raised his brows and jutted out his jaw made (Y/n) shiver and she tilted her head back when she realised what he was hinting at. Her lips pressed together tightly and she held her breath for as long as she could until her head weighed down and her body started to shudder.

It wasn't hard to let her muscles go limp and when the man's hand tightened in her hair and became the only thing holding her up, (Y/n)'s vision went black. She could barely register the noises around her and she didn't feel the way her body thumped against the ground when he let her drop down.

Eddie stomped his foot and growled when Bobby grabbed his shoulder, stopping him from lunging forward to grab (Y/n) before she hit the floor.

"You, come with me. You, take her in there."

That was all Eddie needed to hear. He kept his eyes focused on (Y/n) instead of the gun that was pointing at him in case he made any sudden movements. He bashed his knees down into the floor and gently cradled the back of (Y/n)'s neck so he could pull her head up and rest her cheek against his shoulder. His hand moved round to her back and his other arm slid beneath her knees.

"I got you, I got you." He muttered quietly against her temple when he stood up and headed towards the locker room.

As soon as he was inside, Eddie went down on his knees again and gently eased (Y/n) down on the floor. He shifted her round so her back was slumped up against his chest and he curved his arm around her waist while his other hand moved to cup her jaw.

Hen slumped down next to Eddie while Chimney and Evan sat on the bench, all of them grimacing when Bobby locked the door and gave them a pointed look before he followed the gun man down the corridor towards the inventory room.

"(Y/n)… look at me," Eddie brushed his thumb against her jaw and gently moved her head to try and bring her back around. She had tried to make herself collapse and had blacked out in the process. "She's burning up, she might have an infection."

"Pulse is very fast, I'd take a guess that her BP is too high as well. We have to get her to the hospital." Hen held (Y/n)'s wrist in her hand and counted her pulse which was way too high. She was at risk of going into cardiac arrest or having breathing problems if this continued. She she still wasn't lucid yet, her eyes were fluttering about but the only movement she had was her body trembling in Eddie's arms.

"Then we get out of here, now."

Pushing forward, Eddie carefully eased (Y/n) forward until her head was on Hen's shoulder so he could get up. He looked at Evan and pointed at the fire extinguisher, that was their only weapon of defence and their attacker couldn't do anything if they blasted him with a concentrated amount of CO2 from the extinguisher.

Eddie pressed his forehead against the window and took a look around, making sure Bobby and the man weren't coming back yet before he pulled back. He closed his eyes, leaned his chest back and rammed his elbow into the window with as much force as he could manage.

The glass splintered around his joint, imbedding in his skin and trickling blood down his arm towards his fingers, but the adrenaline coursing through his body countered the pain and panic he was feeling. Eddie reached his hand through the broken glass and unlocked the door before he turned back around and leaned down.

"Everybody in the ambulance. Go." He waved an arm at them to make them move before he looked down at (Y/n). "Up we go, sweetheart."

Eddie grabbed (Y/n)'s right arm and curled it around the back of his neck before his right arm clamped down around her bum, hoping she would excuse the touch before he hoisted her up. He straightened up and slumped (Y/n) over his right shoulder, feeling her forehead press into his back and he heard her groan something incoherent as he juggled her a bit higher up so she was secure.

His chest tightened when he realised he had a great view of her arse right next to him. His arm bound around the back of her thighs and he turned around and made a break out of the locker room.

Hen and Chimney sped towards the ambulance and Eddie cringed when Evan turned on the extinguisher, trying his best to aim for the gun man and not Bobby. The last thing he wanted was to incapacitate their captain too.

Bobby seemed mostly unaffected and braced himself before he slammed his forearm out into the man's throat, smacking him straight in the windpipe which immobilised him. He fell down to his knees in time for Bobby to grapple the gun out of his hand, urging them all to move.

"Go!" Evan pressed his hand to Eddie's shoulder and smashed his other fist down on the side of the ambulance when Eddie was in the back with Chimney and Hen was in the driver's seat. Evan closed the door, closing them inside before he took a step back so he was out the way. He would stay behind with Bobby and wait for the police and to be safe in case another call out came through the tanoid.

A weak groan tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips when she felt herself being slumped over from Eddie's shoulder and down onto the gurney. Her arm bound around her chest as she began to cough and wheeze, trying to slow down her breathing because her pulse was throbbing in her ears.

Her head twisted from side to side when she felt one of them trying to press an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose.

"Sweetheart it's to help you, come on let me help you, please?" Eddie leaned over the gurney and braced his shoulder on the wall when Hen took a sharp right turn that had them jolting back and forth.

He brushed his thumb against (Y/n)'s jaw before he placed the oxygen mask back over her nose, relieved when she stopped fidgeting and trying to push him away. It was to keep her system going and make sure she was alright, he wasn't trying to hurt her or do this to be cruel.

(Y/n) flopped her arm out when she managed to focus her eyes enough to see Chimney holding a blood pressure cuff. But she moved her free hand out and grabbed Eddie's hand that was hovering near her neck. She caught his attention and he leaned down closer when she tugged on his hand and brought it down to her chest.

"What, sweetheart?"

He refrained from rolling his eyes when (Y/n) scratched the mask down until it flopped on her chest and she could look up at him. Her lips quirked into a dazed, tight smile but it was enough to make Eddie's heart flutter.

"Thank you," (Y/n) pulled on his arm again until she could flop her head forward and kiss his exposed arm.

She barely heard Chimney mutter something about her blood pressure being high. She guessed he was going to find her some blood thinners when he turned his back to them and rummaged around in the drawers for something. His lack of attention gave Eddie enough time to lean down and press his lips against (Y/n)'s burning temple which made her heart flutter and her fingers tightened around his arm.

She almost saw stars in front of her eyes again when she felt Eddie's fingers fluttering up and down her chest before his lips moved down to hover over her ear. She could feel each panting breath against the shell of her ear that he kissed softly.

"Let me look after you now, then I'll think of a way you can thank me later."

#eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz imagine #eddie x reader #eddie diaz #imagine #911 imagine #bobby nash #evan buckley

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chiquititaosita · 1 year

Note

if you can, could you write op monster trio with a sick reader? (pre-chopper joining the team)

ive been sick for the past week and one piece has turned into my comfort anime, and i still have a lonv way to go haha

thank you in advance, hope you're having a nice day!

i got you my darling! im just recovering from being sick three weeks ago. (Sinus and chest congestion) please get some rest and remember to try and rest as much as possible. good luck (I’m still getting there with you :) )

Fluff, cute shit. And just vibing

Monster trio with a sick reader (pre- chopper joining)

Luffy

- don’t get me started 😭

- he’s going to want you to rest. Even if you’re feeling fine. He’s going to make sure you’re being taken care for by sanji (since luffy says his soups can help a cold)

-“ NO y/n.. rest.” he’ll say it in a stern like tone

- Out of the times he was serious outside OF FIGHTING

- he’s only harsh on you when you’re sick because he loves you that’s why.

-“I want you to rest! So you can get stronger!”

-“so when you’re strong enough ! I’ll be able to protect you.” He grins as he’s nuzzling your face.

- “hey y/n! how are you feeling?” He’ll walk in with a happiest grin on his face.

- if he doesn’t sleep in your quarters that night or during those nights. When he wakes up you’re the very first person on top of his brain.

-he’ll sometimes surprise you with drawings (I think he draws stick figures sometimes lol) “look what I made you!”-

-“see it’s you me and the treasure we found!”

-“what’ are those other people right there?” You pointed at that pft of the drawing.

-“oh that’s zoro with his swords and sanji smoking a cigarette, nami is there stealing the money. That’s ussopp shooting a cannon. Oh look that’s robin not giving a-“ you love how creative he is.

- when you get better he lets you do more tasks just to stimulate your brain.

- recovery is just him being excited because he knows you’re being loved and cared for

Zoro

-“woah you okay?”

- “y-yeah I’m fi-fine.” you replied in between coughs.

-ngl zoro will drop everything to protect you.

-“you have to rest.. dummy.” he’ll flick in your forehead because you’re a stubborn pendeja

-“noooo i Can get up..” you fell as he picked you up for almost fainting. It had been a few hours since you passed out, and zoro periodically checked up on you everyday. but today felt different.

-zoro went to go and see you. That was until he noticed a blonde male with curly eyebrows humming and holding a dish going into the same direction he’s going to.

-“what’s that for?” Zoro referred to the dish

-“oh this is for Y/n Chan! I heard she was sick, so I made her some soup to cheer her up” he mentioned, and asked why zoro was going to see you

-“I’m checking on her… that’s all.�� He blushed lightly, looking away.

-“ you know ever since she came on the sunny. You’ve gotten soft.” Sanji snickered as he was keeping his laughter down.

“Why I outta—-“ he’s just going to argue with him usually but today he had no energy for that.

-“forget it. I guess you’re right I just really care about her you know .” The moss head huffed as he was given the dish.

- “shit I gotta finish dinner!- give this to y/n chwan will you?!” Sanji literally ran off to the kitchen just as zoro made it to your door.

“Oi, y/n Can I come in?” zoro poked his head out of the door.

-“ it’s open.” you mumbled as you were bundled into the blankets. You smelled the soup and poked your head out.

-“hey.. how are you feeling?” he placed the dish of soup down on the little table near you, and gazed upon you. Zoro had missed your face. He hated seeing you feeling unwell, and miserable.

-“I’m okay. Just bored…sick and out of my mind….what’s that for.?” You pointed at the soup

-“curly made you dinner and wanted you to eat first. He said he hopes you feel better.” He rolled his eyes over the words about a certain cook. You couldn’t help but chuckle

-“awe that’s sweet of him. But what about you?” You gestured him to come lay with you, and he plopped himself onto your warm body, clinging onto you like a little koala.

-“ why did you come back? I thought you were training.” you hugged him as he laid on top of you, he hadn’t thought about it like that. Zoro just missed hearing your voice motivating him to keep going, seeing your smile, hearing your voice, especially seeing you looking adorable when mad or yelling. Annoying him while training.

- Literally you were like his personal chihuahua. It just didn’t feel the same without your presence near him. Especially when y’all took naps together after training or if y’all just felt lazy.

-“i- well- um. I finished early. it was just..that I like- training with you more. It was annoying to not hear you yell my name ‘zoro this zoro that zoro can we take a break my boobs hurt?’ ‘Zoro carry me. Zo-Chan hold my hand. ‘“ he mocked your voice and it made you laugh as you nuzzled into it.

-“Awee so you did miss me..” you nuzzled him, as he pulled himself up to hug you in the bed.

-“don’t push it..” he rolled his eyes as he kissed the top of your head.

-“I love you.”

-“ I love you too you big goof.” You sighed happily as you knew you were the luckiest woman on earth.

Sanji

- now him HEHEHEHE OMG

- the minute he noticed you were sick, you missed breakfast and you never EVER MISS BREAKFAST! You get up around the same time as sanji.

- “y/n- my loveee! It’s time to get up!!” He sang as he tried to wake you up from you quarters.

-“ really? It’s too early .” you coughed into your fist. You sounded very congested, and your eyes looked so puffy. Your natural bed head with your textured mane, all over the place. he was in awe of how beautiful you sounded in the morning!!

-Sanji immediately gasped as he heard your voice. “Oh no! My Angel! You’re sick!! please lay down to rest! Your prince is going to take care of you!!” he kissed the top of your head, placing your tea near the night stand.

“S-sanji i’m f-fine!!” You tried to push him off your shoulders that was until you ran to the bathroom. acid reflux! or even food poisoning DUN DUN DUN. You must’ve felt like your guts were being rearranged and not the good kind. Luckily it was not sanjis cooking. Because he would’ve been crushed. It was someone else’s leftovers from the previous island you brought in.

-he immediately ran after you, patting your back. “It’s okay, darling. Let it out. you’ll be okay.” He’ll gently pull away your hair out of your face. when you finished throwing up you began to wash up. You went to the kitchen to see if you could put up your cup of tea and wash it.

-that was originally the plan until your blonde man put his hand over your hand, disposing his cigarette immediately after seeing you in sweatpants and a big baggy tshirt. His eyes go into heart shapes.

- “You look adorable as ever.” He coos and pinches your cheeks. you rolled your eyes at him.

-“oh hush your face babe. ..” you mumbled as he embraced you.

-“let me wash that cup for you. Go sit down I’ll make you a plate ” he kissed your cheeks, and booped your nose then forcing your stubborn ass to sit down, after taking your empty cup of tea away from you. you just loved how he shook his hips and sang a little song about you making your plate. it’s one of the reasons you fell in love with him.

-“are you singing [song name]??” You giggled

“Yup!!! Because it’s your fault! You got it stuck.in . My. Head.” He poked you jokingly and lovingly at the end of each syllable. Serving you a cup of fruits and sweets.

-“oh shut up you!! how was breakfast?” You asked him as you were tracing the table cloth, sitting in your seat. You’re not even used to the princess treatment that he’s been giving you.

-“ it was good, I already told everyone you weren’t feeling well, they went off the ship already to gather resources and meds to make sure you feel better” you smiled at him already as he made you some avocado toast, taking a bite of the dishes your face lit up, as you did a little happy dance.

- you know when the food is delicious when you do a happy dance when you eat.

- “Oh my how this is amazing.I’m so happy I can taste your food!” you smiled at him with a little sniffle

-“oh y/n merolineee! the way you compliments me takes me a few steps from ascending into heaven.”

- yes overall Sanji best boy to take care of you during pre chopper era.

#one piece imagines #sanji x fem reader #sanji x latina reader #sanji fluff #one piece x reader #sanji x y/n #zoro x reader #pirate hunter zoro #luffy x reader #roronoa zoro #zoro imagine #zoro fluff #luffy fluff #straw hat luffy

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pumpkzsafeplace · 10 months

Text

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

(tw: mh rant: you don’t have to read this, it’s just going to be a vent post- i’ve seen how venting helps all of you so i thought i might give it a try)

─•~❉᯽❉~•─

today i’m feeling pretty sad.

we found out yesterday that the birthday plans we had booked for next week aren’t going to happen due to short funds, which sucks.

im not upset at daddy- we’re currently living off his pay check alone because i’m too sick to work, so i’d rather skip out on a birthday than get into debt or over work him <3.

don’t worry i’m also sticking with my plan of trying to support small agere businesses too- i just won’t be able to do that many this year around <3

i’m more upset at the people who are supposed to ‘help’.

a lot of the times people who suffer with mental health get blamed for ‘not reaching out’ or ‘staying silent’ when things get tough. when in reality- it’s us that get silenced because people don’t care enough to want to help.

the amount of times i’ve had to fight with the government this year alone just to prove that i’m unwell it’s a joke- and yet, there are well people that scam and lie that get funds & help they need.

sometimes it’s hard trying to believe everything is okay & there are good people in the world when the world likes to make you feel like a burden and weak for not being able to put up with the outrageous stress of society.

i’m giving the posting a miss today, until i feel a little better. i’m sorry for the rant, it’s just been a lot lately. i’m just really struggling to see the point of being positive & happy when i’m just being repeatedly treated like i shouldn’t be here anymore.

/ 🍰

#agere blog #age regression #agere community #safe agere #sfw age regression #sfw agere #sfw little community #sfw little blog #sfw little post #agere little #agere caregiver #agere #pumpkinposts

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across-violet-skies · 3 months

Text

Febuwhump day 7: suffering in silence

Whumpee: Time

Whump Rating: 5/10

TWs: blood & injury

Time was always the most insistent that nobody should hide an injury or illness. When it (inevitably) happened to one of their number, they were sent to be lectured by Time.

Which is precisely why none of them expected the Old Man to hide an injury. He was their strongest advocate against the practice, and he usually stuck to his morals.

To be fair, it wasn’t like he had gone into it intending to hide an injury. But they were out of potions and fairies, and Hyrule looked just about ready to pass out while he was working on Sky’s arm. Time’s injury wasn’t that bad– he would manage just fine the old-fashioned way until they could restock or Hyrule regained his magic.

So, tearing away from the group while they cleaned themselves up, Time pulled bandages out of his bag. He sat on a log, propping his leg up as his layers were peeled back. The injury itself looked fine… enough. All he could really do was empty his waterskin over the wound to clean it before wrapping it up.

It was a small wound, shallow too. Just a cut across the back of his calf, obtained while he was surrounded by Lizalfos. One of their tails had whipped around, but this one cut into his leg instead of tripping him. Time guessed they were sharper than they looked. And at the speed Lizalfos tails moved, he supposed one of them could slice through his calf.

The Old Man sighed, tying off the bandage over the injury. It would be covered normally, so as long as he could manage walking for hours at a time, it would be fine. He had years of experience pushing through injuries, so a little cut shouldn’t be an issue.

This line of thinking should’ve been the first warning sign. Especially with all the lectures he had given on this very subject. But Time was as much a holder of the Hero’s Spirit as any of the others, and that same stubbornness they had lived in him, too.

So he pushed through it.

The first hour or so of traveling was fine, almost normal. Nobody suspected a thing– why did it sound like he was trying to hide something big? It was only a small cut, nothing to worry about– and Time held idle conversation with the Captain as they walked.

“...I just think it’s weird, y’know? With Cia and everything, and all the pictures of me-” Warriors cut himself off, squinting at Time. “You alright, Old Man? You’ve been quieter than usual.”

“Hm?” Time raised a brow, humming. “No, I’m fine. Just thinking.”

The Captain elbowed him playfully. “Care to share?”

“Ah, well…” Time waved a hand dismissively. “Nothing of note.”

“Right. Well…” Warriors continued with his story, something Time would normally listen to. Today, though, he couldn’t find it in himself to bother. His head was in the clouds, metaphorically speaking, and not in a good way.

“-ime. Time!” Sky called, waving a hand in front of his face worriedly. “Are you okay? You seem ill!”

“Ah…” Time held a hand to his head, dazed. “I suppose I may be coming down with something.”

Sky frowned. “We should stop.” Then louder: “Everybody stop! We’ll make camp for tonight here!”

There was only a moment’s hesitation before everyone was getting to work setting up camp. Wind helped Twilight, who was carrying an exhausted Hyrule, to set up the bedrolls and get their healer situated for the night. Wild started a fire, and Four contained it to a small pit. Legend and Warriors bickered as they collected firewood, and Sky led Time over to the fire, sitting him down against a tree.

Sky placed a gentle hand against their eldest’s forehead, frowning. “You’ve got a fever,” he murmured, shaking his head. “How long have you been feeling unwell?”

“Not too long,” Time replied, shaking his head. “Only an hour or so after the battle.”

“Are you hurt?”

“No, of course n-” Time paused. He was hurt, wasn’t he? And falling ill so suddenly like this… well, it wasn’t good news. “...I am. But it was minor, and I cleaned and wrapped it.”

Sky pressed his lips into a thin line, sighing. “I thought you were supposed to be the responsible one,” he murmured, shaking his head. “Can I see?”

Silently, Time rolled back his pant leg to reveal the bandaged wound. Sky hummed to himself as he unwrapped it carefully, grimacing at the wild discoloration all around the injury.

Yeah, it wasn’t an ordinary wound, that’s for sure. What had previously been a small cut was now a large slice across the back of Time’s calf, oozing an inky blackish-purple substance.

Sky dropped the soiled bandages, shuffling backward. “...I’ll go get Wars.” The Skyloftian left quickly, leaving Time with the ominous injury. It gurgled and hissed, almost like a separate entity, and even more of the sludge bubbled out from his leg.

Sky and Warriors came running, getting down on their knees next to Time to better examine the wound. “What the hell did you do? What caused this?” The Captain questioned, feeling around the cut.

“Lizalfos tail,” Time explained, shaking his head.

“You mean from the battle this morning?” Warriors clarified, narrowing his eyes. Time nodded sheepishly. “For fuck’s sake, Old Man! You were the one person I trusted not to pull shit like this! I- ugh!” The Captain raised his arms in displeasure, grumbling as he cleaned out the wound. “You’re lucky we caught it. What happened to not hiding injuries?”

Time sighed, gesturing uselessly. “We didn’t have anything left, and Traveler…” he waved an arm in Hyrule’s general direction. “Everyone was stressed enough already; I didn’t want to add to it. I thought I could handle it on my own until we were able to restock.”

“Clearly not,” Warriors remarked, emptying a bottle of liquid on the wound. Before his eyes, the dark ooze was swept away, leaving a deep wound that bled red. “You-” He pointed at Time. “-owe me a bottle of Great Fairy-blessed water.”

The Old Man nodded. “I’ll be sure to repay you, Captain. Thank you.”

Warriors sighed deeply, wrapping up Time’s leg properly. “Of course. I just wish you had said something earlier, even if we were out of potions and fairies. We still have other healing supplies, and this whole thing likely could’ve been avoided if you hadn’t hidden it from us,” he commented, tying off the bandages. “I thought you were better than that, Old Man.”

Time’s brow furrowed. Ouch. Still, he knew Warriors was right, and he never should’ve hidden an injury in the first place. He should’ve known better– he did know better. This wasn’t an accident.

The Captain softened, exhaling. “Get some rest; heal up. The fever should break in the next few hours, and we can talk then. Sky and I will get you to the bedrolls.”

The three of them made their way to the bedrolls, and Sky and Warriors deposited Time onto his. The eldest Link adjusted himself until he was comfortable, sighing. “Thank you, Captain. And thank you as well, Sky. I apologize for hiding the injury.”

Sky shrugged, smiling gently, while Warriors simply nodded. “You’re welcome. Let’s not have a repeat of this.”

“Definitely not,” Time agreed, exhaling.

The Captain cracked a small smile, patting Time’s head once before standing. “Get some rest, Sprite.”

–> support me on ao3!

#febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday7 #tw blood #tw injury #linked universe #lu time #lu sky #lu warriors #linked universe fanfic #ao3 #riv writes

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wolf-2099 · 8 months

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i have an hour left before the day ends so i gotta make it count.

i love you my darling the light of my life you are so cute so perfect to me never in my life have i seen a man so wonderful and so mentally unwell but so beloved. i really do love him, so much. with everything in my shitty little body i love him. he makes me happy he makes me smile he makes me feel like i have a home with him, wherever he is.

silly to get so emotional over a guy i've known for 3 months but its been a wonderful 3 months and i know i want to think abt him for even longer because he makes me happy. ive known i wanted to marry him i just had to wait for the right moment and i think i really did and today was the perfect time.

blah blah im sappy i love men i hate emotions but he makes me so happy and i feel all gay and giddy on our wedding day

look at him

#dragon's ramblings #🕷️ love bites (so do i)

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what-if-nct · 3 days

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hiiii today's reminder is can we talk about Sabrina carpenter because like i don't go here i didn't even know she existed until feather exploded last year and even now i only know the hits but i CANNOT get "that's that me espresso" out of my head for the life of me

Hiii, yes i heard nonsense like two years ago and i have been obsessed with that little blonde lady ever since. Taylor was talking about putting narcotics in her songs which i wanna talk about miss swift later. But Miss Carpenter also puts some kind of drugs in her songs cause i cant stop listening to espresso. i listened to it like four times in a row while i was blow drying my hair. My hair came out so cute too. i also added little pink bows to it. there is magic in that song, i knew the lyrics after three listens. I randomly say my honey bee come and get this pollen. Im really trying to refrain cause i don't wanna get tired of it but its just so good. And shes so cute and shes my fashion inspo. I just love her.

Now to Taylor another one i can't get out of my mind also everything she does is so kpop coded hear me out cause one she releases albums in multiple different versions, shes been releasing so much music since 2019, she now has given us photocards which im putting my Taylor and Jisung photocards beside each other in my photocard album. So mother and son can be together. But people who dont get it are critizing it. And everything taylor does is for the obsessive fans, the mentally unwell girls, the girls who spent half of their 20s being in an off and on situationship with a little rat boy who couldn't care less about her and has absolutely lost their mind over him. People were saying they wanted the album to give English department but its giving psych ward honey those are the same thing. Also as someone who has been to the psychward three times i appreciate this album and im hoping for a Sabrina album by summer.

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wanderingpages · 6 months

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Chapter 3, LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

Hot girl math every chapter, but i like that you solved the equation for me ❤️❤️ vivi is cardans age, but a freshman

“My breasts would spill out of anything she owns, so I let her know I do actually own clothes sexy enough to attend a party.” - mommy? Sorry. Mommy?

““I used to sneak out of the house pretty late,” I reveal to her. “Sneakers though – had to climb up to my roof to get back into my bedroom.” ” - she a baddie she showing her panty – also as an aside, love the aesthetic you have going on for the tumblr chapters, like oof, you said (drake voice) this is not to get confused, this ones for you (Me,) – also does this mean she sucks at heels cus she never thought to wore them since she always used sneakers and this is foreshadow or am i reading too into this??? Also this, foreshadow too? > “but he always drew the line at curfew.” (me picking at crumbs) also: Air Force 1s in my air force one (Aside, yall remember rocking that thang remix? Yall remember when rap songs had remixes with like everyone?? Last one i heard was probably fuckin problems. We need another anthem (So i gave em another anthem [we the bessstttt]) - dj khaled - me. Peach i am on medication for Covid.)

““My…brother,” I test the word out. It’s so foreign, it tastes rancid in my mouth. ”- ok but physically, jude…jude, look at me, physically. Not rancid at all. He is delicious, i promise, you jude. Jude. I promise, you jude ❤️❤️❤️❤️

“When I say it again, in front of the lookout guy at the door of the frat house,” - ok but this transition!!! When i say its a MOVIE, PEach. PEACH

“Let me embarrass myself in front of his friends and roommates. He’ll laugh about it later, with them” awed by how canon this actually is for fanfic lmao

““Alright sweet thing,” this guy tells me and I want to punt kick him in the balls for it.” - i know thats right fr. Vivienne also, is everything. Shes a better friend than she is sister, and ill let that sit with yall (yall, i say like im talking to a crowd, bye, im so delulu) anyways but the whole inner turmoil of jude thinking Cardan invited her to embarrass her? Baby who hurt you (Your mother, i know. Already cleared that) im talking in a lot of parenthesis. You can see where the medicine is taking over, actually. Im lucid tho

““My baby sister,” he coos in jest, making me feel uneasy. “Come here,” he tells me,” –he’s such a dickhead im in love

“At the wedding it was all soft makeup and tied up hair. Today, there’s glitter on my eyelids, sharp wings accentuating the shape of my eyes, a gold glimmer on my cheeks that catches in the light, and lips so red that he holds his gaze there for a moment too long. ” – Peach, i love this so MUCH she’s EVERYTHING TO ME 🥰😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

But back to him being an ass why is he soooo lol like really walking around the fact that theyre NOT related, for the taboo of it all. Kinky mf, i fear.

“catching mirth in pretty hazel eyes only partially obscured by sandy blonde hair. ” GHOST? IS THST YOU?

JUDE AND CARDAN KISSED? WHEN?

OH - “. We did a little more than kissing that night. His fingers traced over parts of me even the sun hadn’t yet touched. Thunder had masked cries I couldn’t hold back and lightning had made him look like a luminous god. I cross my legs, embarrassed and something more.” help me. Also shut up locke, mind ur business for real, this is grown people talk.

Omg it was Ghost ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️”“You’re Greenbriar’s sister.” / “Stepsister,” I breathe out ” stop this is so derek and casey coded 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

HOLD ON WAIT GHOST?! GHOST AND JUDE? ( I love that he braced her head when they fell lmao horny but gentlemanly)

AHHH CARDAN? HELLO?! NICASIA ? OH MY GOD AND ALL FOUR OF THEM JUST DECIDE TO KEEP GOING?? They said impromptu orgy. “Cardan shifts and leans back on his elbow, still having a perfect view of me, but now giving Nicasia space to twist her head to look at me, too. ” - please…. I am on my knees… i am unwell….i am sick to my stomach… alexa play that should be me by justin beiber…. That should be me fr but which one is the question??

God why is ghost everything right now??? “Do you want them to watch?” like oh my god….. I need a moment. I need a lot of moments. “”Do you want your brother to watch me taste your come?”” – i am…convulsing. Ghost is… like my body is breaking out in a sweat.

Say please and make it as sweet as your – top 3 things that would send a victorian child into a coma

Stop why was this the best head ive read?

““Such a good girl,” I hear Nicasia whisper.” - help…. They are actual deviants and i am in hell, keeping your seat warm, peach ❤️❤️❤️❤️

lol see this is the longest ask over ever had so far and I’m truly amazed at your commitment ngl

Sneakers, I guess it’s foreshadowing for some stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️ curfew, yes. I like that you have three separate song references in one paragraph lmao I also feel this is the point you should have called it a night and fell asleep 💀

This is so uncannon that’s I’ve tried to slip all the cannon stuff I actually can in 😫

Actually cardan was intoxicated here but was genuinely surprised she introduced herself as his stepsister cus he was like …oh? Ok…:)

Yeah you know I love me some Ghost 🤭

Yes! Absolutely Derek and Casey!

Yes ghost!!!! Also I do love people being mindful during intimate moments ngl like duh hes gonna make sure she doesn’t crack her head open!

Your commentary here is sending me oh my god 😂🥰

#asks #these are making my day ❤️#like genuinely I’m so touched

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cubedmango · 8 months

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NAINAAAA OH MY GOD?(:&:?:& I’M DJD YOUUUUUUU !!!!!!! I’m so sorry I don’t want this entire ask to be pure nonsense so I’m gonna pick up every single one of the million pieces I just exploded into, off of the floor and try and function,,, can I just say you needed to add a warning to that post because I genuinely yelled so loud I felt sharp burn in my chest afterwards WHYY WOULD YOU DO THIS😭😭 KUROSAWA CRYING,, THE BREAKFAST NOTEJNSJS ADACHI AND THEIR LITTLE GIRL CUDDLED UP,,, THE RING,, THE CHERRY!!PYJAMAS I’M FUCKFNFJF oh man. Oh God. Wow you… bless you… you wonderful miracle working legend… like I need you to understand so clearly when I say that my heart took a nose dive upon glancing at that art like my deeply heartfelt love for your art aside the fact that you put it into a perfect visual form with our la sweethearts like I actually can’t move on?? I saw it earlier today and have been racking my brain trying to find ways to properly emote the groundbreaking shift that took place within my soul like. Every so often (every 10 minutes) mind would drift back to Them and I’d have to grab onto the nearest wall to steady myself I’ve officially Lost it. Like thank me? THANK /YOU/ 6473683 times over😭😭😭<333333 I feel like I felt the warm rays of the spring sunshine after a 12 month long winter like truly I’m not sure how but I’m gonna have to join you sensei is gonna receive a mental transmission from me every day onwards BEGGING for this progression it could fix me in so many ways nothing else ever could I just know it…

(other ask below for length)

The ask was getting so long I’m sorry😭 (you Broke Me) BUT your tags had my heart aching because I didn’t even think about that but you’re sooo right like it’s clear that a lot of kurosawa’s unrealistic expectations for himself were ingrained into him through his mother and what she actually expected of him growing up and that manifesting into fears of fatherhood and making the same mistakes is,,,, (had to stop to forcefully regulate my breathing pattern here out of sheer pain) like it’s a perfect next life stage arc that stays true to his character. Plus the whole contrast with adachi being naturally adept and comfortable with fatherhood due to /his/steadfast upbringing and being able to talk things through with kurosawa and help him understand that yeah there’s no such thing as The Perfect Parent™️ but you do just have to learn as you go, while taking into account to be mindful of not making the same mistakes as your own parents but at the end of the day the goal is to create that loving, supportive and consistent environment which he’s more than capable of doing like oh GOD I could eat rocks by the spoonful right now sensei PLEASE,,, I’m gonna stop rambling before every single thought floods out but once again THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for the Kurodachi brain food I’m gonna think about it an insanely unhealthy amount,,, I hope your day was loveliest it could be <333

PLS ANON IM CRYING SM these asks made my day pls im eating up all ur thoughts instantly (and weeps thank u im glad u liked the doodles 🥹) im so unwell abt kurodadchis rn so ty again for putting them in my brain !!!!!

also everything u said abt them talking the possibility out and accepting that they might not be perfect parents but they can actively try to do better and theyre 100% capable of that is just . aaauagGGHHGH i need sensei to make this happen w manga krdc like Right Now and then i need the drama crew to come back and give us a full s2 of this and then same w rd and then-

#THERES JUST SO MANY POSSIBILITIES ITS DRIVING ME CRAZYY #ngl i might make a whole thing for this bc like . I Have To. krdc dads need to be Real this is my duty #anon pls u are always free to ramble in my asks i will take all ur thoughts with the highest levels of gratitude 👐#and if u have more kurodadchi ideas then blease....... i will thrive off those #my answer

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traumatizeddfox · 1 year

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hi nothing extreme, just some AITA friend "drama" im looking for a second opinion on. hope ur doing well!

so i recently became friends w this girl and we've been friends for several months now. we met at a mental health awareness program and she immediately opened up that she had anxiety etc. on the one hand i was like it's good to just cut the bs and be honest but at the same time i was a little on guard that she immediately opened up like that yk?

our relationship (platonic) has been fairly smooth, but she will often text me (we live just across the street from each other it turns out) and ask to come over or for me to come over because she's unwell, either mentally or physically. 99% of the time i've been turning her down because i don't feel like we're on that level yet, yk? but i try to still show my support by offering to continue texting her and listening to her vent. but every time i say no she gives me the silent treatment for days and it's really annoying.

a few weeks ago i had invited her to a party i was going to, and she declined. when i was at the party, she texted me saying she had a headache, and i said oof. she asked for us to make plans for the weekend and i said yes. then she asked if i had a problem, and i was really confused, so i said no? and then she said "that was not kind" and that she'd been struggling the past week and i never checked up on her. i was so confused because i was like, how is agreeing to hang out not kind? so i was like sorry im confused, i said yes to hanging out this weekend?? and then the silent treatment began for a while.

today she asked to come over because she's sad. i said i have to clean the house in preparation for company this week, which i told her about previously. but then i offered to give her some coping tips to show that i'm not just trying to flake. and she hasn't responded since.

i know our friendship is kinda based off of the fact that i do mental health support stuff, and so i've really been feeling like i'm more of a therapist to her, or better yet, a firefighter. because she expects me to drop everything immediately and come running to fix the situation, when it's not my responsibility to begin with. i just don't know why she expects so much of me. none of my friends are as needy as her emotionally. (am i her only friend??)

i kinda wanna stop being friends with her. i feel like it's just unbalanced and communication isn't going to work if she's going to just ignore me. i know she's going through a lot, i feel bad for her, but i really feel like she's expecting too much too soon. i'm normally an empathetic and giving person but the amount of times she asks me to come over is frustrating and exhausting.

AITA?

I dont think you're the asshole at all for that. I think she probably has no one to talk to or maybe feels more comfortable with you, and maybe has co dependency issues. It isn't your responsibility to make sure she is safe all the top, especially since you guys aren't that close yet. I don't think distancing yourself from her is bad either, ive been in this situation before where someone treated me like a therapist and a not a friend and it was rly damaging to me. she also seems to have a lot of issues, but that isnt your problem either, and by the way it sounds, you seem to still help her out,so no i dont think youre the asshole at all!

#anon

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dawnowar · 5 months

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Post from the future 12/30/2023

At this point i'm on the last day of my antibiotics for my sinus infection which may or may not be working. I felt better than before but I still feel like i have a sinus infection. Everyone in the office got sick and i thought I was going to be fine because I had my flu shot, my covid shot and i was on anti-biotics. I ran the office by myself for one day and I did a great job. I was on top of everything but as the day got later i started feeling unwell and by the time the day was over I knew I was sick. It was Friday and i figured i was gonna lose the weekend. I had no idea i was going to have the worst flu I think I've ever had and it would turn into bronchitis that lingered for at least 3 1/2 weeks before i stopped coughing and I still had stuff in my lungs for.. well i still do have stuff in my lungs now.. and the sinus infection never fully went away either. I should have a real ENT look in there but im switching health insurance in two more days so thats going to have to wait.

I got a much bigger and more powerful humidifier yesterday and that seems to be helping everything in just the one day ive had it running. Even though i had one the whole time. I guess it wasnt good enough. So im hopeful today that this is the reason for years and years ive had recurring problems with sore throats, bronchitis and sinus infections. Its just too dry in here.

It's a working theory.

anyway back to time of the photos im posting. This is the beginning of sickness #4.

My boss' ended up in the hospital pooping blood so i guess if i got really bad bronchitis i still got off easy here. His wife thinks I was somehow more susceptible to getting it because i was on antibiotics at the time. Said thats a thing but I've never heard that before.

So we know it was the flu since my boss went to the hospital for it and they tested him. The flu shot didnt work for me this year. But i'll still keep getting it cause it didn't do any harm and anti-vax people are fucking dumb idiots.

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whateveryouwantmetodoiwilldo · 10 months

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day 1 of trying to reflect stuff:

today. so at first it was bad, then good; then just nothing? i had so much on my mind that i wanted to write on here just an hour ago but now i am too exhausted to? i think that is an accurate description of my being overall right now. exhausted. it’s hard to enjoy stuff and everything feels heavy and like a lot of work. even happy things tire me out and i don’t feel like myself. my life’s never been like this before. i would be worried about depression if i didn’t know my energy leves were physically so slow i might as well be dead. i’m not letting it stop me though. i’m walking around in the hot weather all day from morning to well over midday and swimming and jumping around. i don’t feel like i used to about it but i’m still able to. they say it’s actually not a good sign. sometimes i have really bad thoughts about hurting myself. it only comes up when people start talking about treatment or a problem with moving. i would rather hurt forever than go there again. i would rather die than stay here till i graduate. i need space to breathe to be able to grow. i love my boyfriend. he is the light of my life and that’s where a lot of my depression also stems from. i feel like i’m not what he deserves and i’m really pushing down his life quality right now. he stated testosterone and i’m so happy for him. he’s doing so well and things look bright and it’s bringing me more happiness than anything in my own life right now. im terrified of poisoning his happiness. i live scared that he is going to resent me for loving him. for loving me. my mom resent me for loving her too. it feels really heavy to me. it hurts me in a diffent way than other stuff, hurts my heart. i’m upset when i look in the mirror. i gained weight. probably not a lot but i can’t check. that upsets me. i’m going to pompeii tomorrow and i feel bittersweet. it’s my childhood dream to go. i couldn’t think of a place i want to visit more. but i feel melancholy and unwell, i can’t handle my mothers upset and being called nothing but selfish and ungrateful. perhaps i am. i don’t know but i’m getting sick of writing now. ironic because i am. i never did know i was sick and that upsets me. they should have helped me, anyone else would have been helped. maybe sleep will make it all go away? i really want to see pompeii. have to be up and listening to my mother at 5:55am. maybe it won’t be so bad? i really love dylan my boyfriend and i really maia my little. i really miss him but i feel sick when i think about someone tiny relying on me. i feel like i poison everything, i can’t poison something fragile. this is all just getting too depressing. i wish i could just hold that tiny boy in my arms knowing i’m not hurting him. that’s all i guess.(not in the slightest) but i haven’t written my thoughts down in months. they just float around in my brain. have so stay somewhere right? this is 0.1

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cutlikediamonds · 11 months

Text

060923

i remember some of my lowest points ever writing in my journals like i was getting paid by the word. i just would talk over every little thought i had with myself, with the journal. instead of texting anyone or going out or talking to my family. i didnt want to, i wanted to rely on myself, i wanted to feel okay on my own and i did, i had a blast with myself. but even as much as i loved being alone, still love being alone, there were days when a very specific loneliness just followed me fucking everywhere, like it was smoke in the room and i didnt wanna breathe it into my lungs but there was no way to escape it, breathing more shallow to try anyway. its funny that i used to be so worried about not being able to handle being alone that i trained myself on it too well and now i dont know how to need people.

i miss my dorm, i miss being walking distance from my two best friends and a two hour drive away from everything else i didnt wanna think about. i miss having rooms to myself to laugh at my own jokes and cry at my favorite songs and sit on my floor writing every single thought in my journal.

it was safer there. when i couldnt avoid the people i needed. they noticed if i was ghosting, they checked on me, and we ate meals together, had gossip to catch each other up on, a breakup to coach her through, school work troubles to push through together. i miss being able to stare at my phone for ten minutes and eventually finally send a text that is way too short and too vague but it was all i could manage and theyd come over. with games and snacks and a bright attitude but also ready to listen. i miss sitting on my floor, alone. i miss sitting on my floor with music playing and my cat being a menace. i miss sitting on my floor with my friends when they came over.

i was so lonely, its weird. now im lonely again but longing for that loneliness instead. because now were home and one of us is going away and we cant walk to each other anymore and i could probably still text them like that and theyd still come over like that but its not my floor wed sit on anymore. i dont feel real here. i dont want them to look at me here. i feel it in them too, like they dont wanna be looked at either. cuz this isnt us, this isnt who we are, this is where were stuck being until the fall when we can be together again and be ourselves again and resume our lives. but for now we have to put it all away for a second to revive our roles in our own homes, in our blood families, roles we just spent the whole year ditching, processing, unpacking, resenting. but we had to come back eventually. we cant ditch it like we want to.

and its nice, i dont want to ditch it. sometimes my family helps me feel more real. i like realizing how similar i am to my parents sometimes, or noticing how the drama with our relatives isnt actually all that different from my friend groups drama history. its nice. i feel like an orphan like most of the time, like i was never born and i have no past or history or ancestors and everything im doing is just because i appeared one day and life doesnt really mean anything at all. it makes me go crazy sometimes, but being home helps. only sometimes though, and only in that sense.

okay. got that all out.

im super bloated, gained a bit but im pretty positive its just food/water/bloating weight so i kinda dont care, im gonna eat light today and if it doesnt go back down then ill worry. also i feel kinda nauseous anyway. i kinda have been noticing that a lot actually lately. i cant tell if its the constant pit of dread that i havent been able to shake or if its recent eating habits catching up to me or if its too much caffeine or whatever the fuck but its there. if i dont force myself to eat or smoke then it could make me have such a little appetite. im just gonna let it happen today, let myself feel unwell, let myself avoid avoid avoid.

i want to be... okay. i wish i was okay. everythings so hard, i cant remember who i am when im here. i miss my dorm. sometimes i think i havent felt like myself since i left, but then maybe i havent been myself since senior year, or maybe since the summer before, or since the pandemic maybe, or since middle school, since dad died, or maybe since i was four. i cant wrap my head around how much i feel simultaneously so detached to the world but also incredibly attached to it, to worldly things.

i wanna get up and exercise i know itd help but i cant make myself move. i wanna study and do the homework i have to do today but i cant make myself read a single word.

i feel so sick.

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daintydolllog · 1 year

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I don’t know the exact date but somewhere a few days before September 12th.

I met a new boy, on a goofy ass app! He messaged me something idk and we started talking at the moment I wasn’t thinking anything of it like I had interest in him but it completely died after he did it said something to me, so I blocked him. Few days later I get back on the app and see he messaged me, I reply 😭 and I told him my phone got turnt off <knowing I was lying> I talked to him from the app for a few days and decided to unblock him and message him to see if it would go through idk why it wouldn’t but! 😊 it did.

Um sooo it progressed he asked to come over to my house…I was on the fence about it but I gave him my address and told him he could come the day after I had given it to him, so he comes over and he takes me to the park! And we color it was awkward ofc because I’m odd around new people and idk what to do or how to interact with him so I colored and talked and what not, then we got done! And we drove back to my house but I just sat in the car with him the whole time YK and showed him my collectibles gave him a bracelet ( THAT BROKE ) and gave him my Ronald Weasley block head! That was my favorite and meant a lot to me but, I gave it to em and it’s still on his dash board today!!! It’s so cute 🥰 um moving on after that we started talking more and what not and I just don’t feel like it’s a rush to text him or we have to text or talk all the time for us to be ok! And I like and feel secure in that due to my past relationships I always felt upset or overwhelmed or ignored when I didn’t get a response and now I don’t and I don’t even think that has anything to do with him! I’m just emotionally and mentally drained from my last relationship that I have a “whatever happens happens” mindset in order to protect my peace and get closer to my higher self and consciousness. I don’t know if I like like him to date him or be in a actual relationship but I also have no issues waiting to explore my feelings with someone new and I hope he’s genuine with me and patient because being with someone like me takes time and patience. I feel good not rushing things, but I am upset that he has gotten to meet almost my whole family yet he’s so scared about telling his mom about me… I just don’t find it fair because me, I hate people in my BUSINESS I don’t care who it is especially my family I wish I could date him and explore what life would be like with him before having to bring him around my family. They’re approval DOESNT and will never matter to me what’s best for ME is what matters for ME and my opinions on my relationships only. So it just kinda hurts that he doesn’t wanna tell her, honestly I don’t care that he doesn’t want to it’s just the principle and fairness of everything … I already feel like im risking soooo much for him and i don’t like it. My mental health, physical and emotional health will all decline if im done wrong..

I was barely able to keep my life together when I found out a guy I was dating whom I never actually liked cheated and lied to my face… I was more so upset that I didn’t prove my point to myself and it was a false and delusional narrative I could have avoided because my guy and mind told me to but I just didn’t listen.

At the moment I feel like our relationships a bit one sided but I’m not used to communicating what I want because I always feel like it will never be reciprocated or I just feel ashamed when asking anyone for anything so I rarely ask for anything even in my deepest time of need. I also know if I never ask the answer will always be no…so maybe that’s something I have to work on myself… I do believe I’m crazy or insane maybe not even that I’m just mentally unwell in the best way possible but also not….

I hope he does right by me and I get the love I long and deserve

Honesty

Trust

Beauty

Passion

Dignity

Loyalty

And love.

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