#im just. so angry that i dont get to do anything that will go some way to improving the nightmare that is inhabiting this meat suit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oceanwithouthermoon · 1 month

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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions #ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person #if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully #that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is #not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion #yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something #like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad #honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner #and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion #and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf #its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333 #ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions #ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol #being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless #but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy #and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize #ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people #so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3 #i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE #watch nobody read this fr #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post

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pickled-flowers · 3 months

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Also just because you get annoyed by something someone is doing doesn't mean they are evil you can leave us alone

#this is about autistic people.#that guy in you class that is always asking questions? he always raises his hand theres nothing wrong with it #it takes time in the class but that's how he makes sure he understands the subject #and meanwhile every other student decides hes an asshole #that girl who doesnt blink and who cant seem to have a linear conversation is not doing anything wrong #you dont like interacting with her but that doesnt say anything about her you can leave her alone you dont have to bitch behind her back #that person cant read social cues? why are you getting mad? can you shut the fuck up?#it is insane how often some of my friends talk about people who are clearly autistic and are mad at them #no its not because theyre autistic theyre just always interupting!#its not because theyre autistic they just make me uncomfortable! PLEASE LISTEN TO YOURSELF #i swear youre all asshole to us #no respect fr #its so annoying to see you run in a circle trying to justify calling someone an ass for doing literally nothing wrong #youre allowed to feel how you want about other people but you always jump to bullying #and whenever i try to make them realize they get so deffensive #just because you grew up with an autistic brother does not make you a fucking expert youre not even close to him!!#ok sorry im gonna go hit my bong im getting too angry lol

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dennisboobs · 1 year

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my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal

#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical #like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core #these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group #whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang #and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely #they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear #imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like #they just don't react the way you would expect #which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well #the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane #rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn #i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have #and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here #just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other #on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood #but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!!#thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of #glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on #dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes #its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself #which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy #but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week #they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting)#i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i #ada speaks #untagged

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alliedmastercomputer67 · 10 months

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Javier Escuella reflects the immigrant experience I went through and it hurts to see that be disregarded

I understand him in the way that coming to a new country is a terrifying experience, to leave everything you know and love and people you care for behind never knowing when or if you'll ever see them again. Trying to escape something you know you won't live thru and not wanting to be subject to an unfair way of life, trying to do something good for yourself and necessary to survive, somehow you feel guilty about it and you think why didn't I save someone else? why did I do this? do I deserve a better opportunity and a better chance at becoming someone in life?

Coming to a country and hoping for that better opportunity is a gamble and In my case I don't even know if I'm winning or losing. Coming to America from Mexico we're promised big cities with endless opportunities and equality for all and we're told we will always have enough of everything and never have to spend a day on the streets, but like Javier says, it's the same here as it is back there, the only difference is that America has the money and the power to hide that from the outside world and it creates a mirage enticing people into coming here and leads people into a trap of never having enough, not for yourself much less your family and even much less to just LIVE. Luring people into the cold venomous heart of what we hoped to be the American Dream

I never lived in a house we own. the house I'm in today is not ours and we pay ridiculous rent, I lived in a single room for most of my life with my parents, and I think Javier would understand what it feels like. He'd understand wishing you could've had what you do now years ago but you just know what's done is done. Javier understands the struggles that come with adapting and evolving with the world around you, the teases and insults thrown at you for broken English until you finally become some what fluent and realize you don't understand a lick of your native dialect and how your Spanish has become broken.

Having to comply with what makes the people above you "comfortable" takes away your sense of identity, you cage the once passionate and hungry spirit in you so it's enthusiasm won't scare off people or opportunities. He'd understand what it feels like to constantly feel like people just assume things because of how you look. He would get why I feel humiliation sitting, waiting for the food drive and seeing the kids around me and realizing the thing we all have in common is our blood. He'd understand what it's like to have people disregard your intelligence because to them someone like you with your skin and someone who speak the language you do can't be as smart as them.

When I was little I often tried to scrub off my brown skin because I felt ashamed of it. and I think he'd understand why. I love my country and what makes me Mexican but I live in a country that makes me fear being proud will get me killed and I won't sugarcoat that. I make myself more American for the sake of fitting in and in that act I've lost a part of myself.

I think he understands feeling shame but still being prideful because if not pride then what else is there?

#maybe im just projecting #maybe im just angry at the way my life turned out #maybe im angry at myself for not doing anything with that opportunity so far #but i think hed understand. in some way #maybe if i told him he'd go “pues asi es la vida”#and id get what he means #just maybe #javier escuella #rdr2 #also thank god i was finally able to put it into words I APOLOGIZE ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE #dont forget to like follow and subscribe!!!!!

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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 6 months

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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

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martyrbat · 11 months

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so many of you talk about the cruel adults in your childhood that negatively effected you and caused lifelong insecurity yet you're still perfectly fine with being that mean stranger to any kid that has the misfortune of existing around you and thats just really gross !!!

#like i get kids can be overwhelming for a various amount of reasons but its not going to kill you to treat children with basic human decency #adults can be just as overwhelming or annoying—if not more. yet if you talked to an another adult the same way you do to a kid #then ppl would fucking hate you and not want to be around you because youre not being cool and witty—youre just mean!!!#everyone has experienced the frustration of being a kid being mistreated by an adult. some more than others #rather its ignoring your bodily autonomy (from sa and assault to hugging you when you don't want to be touched to not letting you #make your own harmless choices like a haircut or whatever). everyone has been talked down to or had their opinion treated like its nothing #or that their thoughts or input doesn't matter. everyone has a childhood experience with a mean or judgemental adult #yet over and over ppl are fine just repeating that cycle of abuse and hatred #like youre a young adult and youre still getting treated like shit by older ones. but youre able to have a drink or you graduated or smthn #so now you feel like you earned that right to be judgemental & angry & mean to a group of people that didnt fucking do anything to you #anyways. this is because im sick and had to go to the store to get groceries and meds #so its a 20 minute walk to the nearest store in 108 degrees bc i dont have gas money and then in the store im ofc using a face mask #like im sweaty and feel disgusting and like shit but this kid was SO fucking excited about his spiderman toy and wanted to talk and #his mom said ‘i told you no one wants to hear about that crap leave her alone’ and like?? no fuck off let a kid be happy?? hes not fucking #doing anything wrong?? so we talked and he showed me the little tiy that lights up and asked if i saw the new spiderverse movie #and i told him i havent! so he asked why so i explained i have photosensitivity and what that means and why i cant see it #(‘even though i heard its super cool!’) and HE WAS SO SWEET... like immediately hid the toy because oh! flashing lights can hurt me!#and then immediately said dont worry because he'll tell me about it so its like i saw it instead!#and like. guys imma be honest with you. i stilm got no fucking idea what this movie's plot is.#but you bet your fucking ass i was pretending like i was following along & was going ‘no way!’ ‘so it's a parallel universe...?’ ‘oh wow!’#like yea its unnecessary. i felt oike i was gonna collapse and im still struggling to breathe at home now. but also i been the kid #who just wanted to talk about my interests and no one wanted to or was dismissing it.#i know it's not a end of the world deal but i also know that crushing feeling. you gotta be the kindness you want to see in the world yknow #anyways. be nice to kids or im not going to be nice to you. they're one of the most vulnerable members of our society and deserves kindness

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urostakako · 1 year

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it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do

#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent #idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away #and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense #thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint #which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat #and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything #about it because shes so good IS SO BORING #and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up #until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude #why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl #and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the #saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring #or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is #tsumiki fushiguro #jjk 211 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk #aricouldyounot #oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either #or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty #it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious #anyway yeah thats it

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starfleetwitch · 3 months

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Friends, country men, women and they/thems of the court. It was with great leave of my senses that last week I considered closing this account, destroying all my artwork, deleting my fanfiction and never uttering the name Bernie Wolfe ever again.

(It was a very brief leave of my senses, a split second intrusive thought. Let's be real I've put too many years into this blog and I REALLY cant draw any one else at this point)

It is not a short story but story time is coming whether you asked for it or not because I need to write this shit down somewhere least I somehow someday make peace and forget the absolute BAT SHIT CRAZY bullshit that has been occurring up to this point involving Bernie.

HELL I MAY EVEN WRITE BAD FANFICTION ABOUT IT.

An actual picture of me realising I'd fallen victim to Bernie trolling.

Story is here: I have regrets

#this is a reminder to me to vent into the void later about the possibly of being given PTSD by bernice bloody wolfe #im not going to delete anything #im more rational than that #but i was VERY mad at Bernie and if im to get over it i need to rant about it #so story time is coming lads.#once i finish work some stories will be occuring #because wow #TALK ABOUT KICKING A GIRL WHEN SHES DOWN #this is an angry man yells at cloud type of situation #having said that if my eye twitches anytime shes mentioned for a little while just know its justified #for the record... i brought this on myself. im fully aware #please dont cancel Bernie Wolfe until you know the deets #you can still love a person whos tormented you #its not healthy but you can still absolutely do that #idek how to put this. i dont hate Bernie im still a bernie stan. will be till the day i die #but at the same time she almost made that day come A LOT quicker 🙈😅

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okidenshi · 21 days

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Sometimes i thinks bout how my gen x parents took doctors telling them that that the anti-depressants worked by heling 'balance chemicals' in my brain so that it helped me be more happy or whatever as like... these meds will ALTER MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY AND THEY DAUGHTER THEY LOVE MAY BE GOOONEEEE OOOO~~~"

Not that they're horribly anti-med really, but as a young teen they would always be like "but... what if the meds are changing you :((" like. girl. isn't that the goal here almost-

#i'd apologize for venting but also i dont care.#okidenshi randomness #sometimes im also like. kids are going to grow up and realize Magic isn't real #and i dont mean literally i mean like. realize what they will grow into a world that removes the enchantment that life held a kid held #so yea they're.... going to be less happy or have some sort of shift from that. idk that was me at least #sometimes i think about how they couldn't handle me being anything other than happy or content either and thats why me being dep. was 'bad'#if i was anything else it was like. get yelled at; be ingored; or be told why im wrong #the most difficult thing is like. they didnt mean any of it.#like how can i be mad at my parents for unintentionally harming me. also kids are hard to read soemtimes #so like. mabe it was my fault a bit. but also how is a kid supposed to know how to communicate #let alone an autistic kid #like wheres the line- should i be angry? can i even be? am i elfish? is that bad to be selfish? so am i bad then? WHERE IS THE LINE.#*lies down* im fine im just so angry and mad and have nowhere i feel I can appropriate put this energy without wanting to. you know.#do i even want to get rid of that feeling. like being mad in my own brain even if its at myself is like. WELP! at least it's a line!#again im fine. ouugh im just so angry.#anyway. time to play a videogame and practice opposite action

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piplupod · 3 months

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one of the cashiers at the grocery store i go to is so fucking fixated on shoplifters and it drives me crazy any time i check out through him (i try to avoid him but his checkout is often the most open/empty - hm! i wonder why! - and im often on a tight schedule w the bus). he brings up shoplifters every opportunity he gets and he seems so convinced that theyre a huge problem.

BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ,,, is that today the customer in front of me was needing a price check on one of the items bc it should've come out to be cheaper, so he was kind of apologetic abt it and saying "ah well, yknow, six dollars is six dollars, especially with how expensive groceries are right now" and i was nodding and agreeing (trying to show that i dont mind the wait and also solidarity my guy good for u for speaking up and getting the price fixed on that) AND THE CASHIER AGREES. FULLY ACKNOWLEDGES AND BEMOANS THE FACT THAT GROCERIES ARE CRAZY RN. AND THEN GOES ON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHOPLIFTERS. HUH ??????

so you agree that groceries are unreasonably expensive... and that sometimes ppl can't afford them... and yet ....................

#HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY CMONNNN THINK ABOUT IT DUDE....#i knew him in highschool (small town things lol) and im pretty sure he was one of those kids who thought cops were really cool. so. yknow.#not surprised. just annoyed fdjkl #i would say smth like ''oh does ur paycheque get docked if shoplifters come thru or smth?'' but i dont want to piss him off #i would like to remain civil with the cashiers here bc its the only grocery store i can get to most of the time fdsjkl #but like. i would love to find out why he hates shoplifters so much #when i worked at DQ in highschool and ppl stole dilly bars or FULL CAKES... i did not give a single shit #even though the managers and boss would get kind of angry at us (but they knew we couldnt do anything abt it really lmao)#and then we had to put locks on the customer-facing freezers which was a hassle for us #AND STILL. I NEVER FELT ANGRY AT THE SHOPLIFTERS. BECAUSE WHATEVER DUDE LIFE IS EXPENSIVE GO GET THAT ICE CREAM!!!#also i was not paid enough to care LMFAO and i know for a fact that this cashier isn't paid enough either bc my brother used to work there #I DUNNO DUDE. HONESTLY I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR SHOPLIFTERS #i've potentially done it a few times and its fucking terrifying esp w the amount of cameras installed now fdsjkl #i dont do it now even though i need to more than ever bc i was making myself sick every time i possibly did it #i'd get home and sit in the bathroom for an hour trying to make sure i wasnt about to throw up from the stress fdsjkl #also it was stupid to do honestly (but . needed. so yknow.) bc again. i dont have any other options for accessible grocery stores really #ANYWAYS. fuck that cashier i hope he realizes what a little narc he's being and gains some class consciousness or smth idk #all for one and one for all etc etc etc we're all in this together my guy #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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etchedstars · 6 months

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hi i just wanted to drop a ss of the comments i wrote on my notion page for captured ghosts because im about to reread and i think this fic deserves all the recognition in the world it slays so hard and you should know the absolute anxiety and simultaneous joy you caused me!!!

HI OH MY GOD ?!?!??!?!? thank you asufaudsf this is so so nice the joy THIS brought me?????????? immeasurable ty <3333

(ps theres a lot of thoughts in the tags w captured ghosts spoilers for those who may or may have not read my will byers gets haunted multichaptered fic!!)