#im more rational than that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

starfleetwitch · 2 months

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Friends, country men, women and they/thems of the court. It was with great leave of my senses that last week I considered closing this account, destroying all my artwork, deleting my fanfiction and never uttering the name Bernie Wolfe ever again.

(It was a very brief leave of my senses, a split second intrusive thought. Let's be real I've put too many years into this blog and I REALLY cant draw any one else at this point)

It is not a short story but story time is coming whether you asked for it or not because I need to write this shit down somewhere least I somehow someday make peace and forget the absolute BAT SHIT CRAZY bullshit that has been occurring up to this point involving Bernie.

HELL I MAY EVEN WRITE BAD FANFICTION ABOUT IT.

An actual picture of me realising I'd fallen victim to Bernie trolling.

Story is here: I have regrets

#this is a reminder to me to vent into the void later about the possibly of being given PTSD by bernice bloody wolfe #im not going to delete anything #im more rational than that #but i was VERY mad at Bernie and if im to get over it i need to rant about it #so story time is coming lads.#once i finish work some stories will be occuring #because wow #TALK ABOUT KICKING A GIRL WHEN SHES DOWN #this is an angry man yells at cloud type of situation #having said that if my eye twitches anytime shes mentioned for a little while just know its justified #for the record... i brought this on myself. im fully aware #please dont cancel Bernie Wolfe until you know the deets #you can still love a person whos tormented you #its not healthy but you can still absolutely do that #idek how to put this. i dont hate Bernie im still a bernie stan. will be till the day i die #but at the same time she almost made that day come A LOT quicker 🙈😅

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bigcatbulges · 2 months

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Hey, real talk for a second, I'm considering not uploading anymore and only turning this is to a reblog only account because of the AI choices from Tumblr. I truthfully feel incredibly guilty that, even though I was crediting the artists and linking everything, I was still submitting their work to be used for AI thru Tumblr and that is not fair to the artists that worked incredibly hard on their art. I'm gonna try and do a bit more research before I make a final choice in the matter but I want to thank everyone for thier kindness the past couple of years and im grateful a small community spawned on discord!

I'll update this post when I think I've figured everything out and any artist out there please give me any advice on how you would handle this situation please! My options right now are to delete all the pictures I've uploaded or maybe nuke the blog entirely? I'm not sure but again, I'm grateful for everyone's kindness and I hope we can keep being kind together.

#im going thru a massive depressive episode so im gonna try and think rationally but right now my brain just says delete everything #i already quit the discord a few days ago when i was having an episode but now i really feel ive done more harm than good here #idk its not my art and that's always been the rule so im gonna go thru a bunch of artists pages and see if they have any advice

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vivelarevolution13 · 2 months

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tfatws + text posts: mixed bag edition

sam version | bucky version

#tbh we’re all joaquin #also #it’s technically a crime in my book to put sam in the “rational one” box #because im sick of him being profiled as the therapy dog when he also in fact has the ‘very competent yet a little batshit sometimes’ gene #but still. he’s more sane than bucky at least #tfatws #tfatws edit #tfatws + text posts #tfatws text posts #text post meme #my edits #graphics

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puppyeared · 4 months

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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court

#im joking #i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture #and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure #i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th #story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get #that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel #like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty #so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then #i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why #idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens #but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes #smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can #be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn #yapping #oc talk

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lilaccatholic · 6 months

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how do i do it though. how do i let go of the bitterness and the hardness when they kept me "okay" for so long? does it come when i finally leave? can it ever?

#babes i actually relate to the frigid angry woman more than im comfortable with but this time there's no prince coming to save her and idk #i was never beautiful but i was and am angry and capable and that's served me well but being angry is exhausting #it's a birthright i can't give to a younger sibling. it doesn't transfer.#i dont inspire devotion. there's no version of this that ends with me waltzing with a true love.#im not the type you launch a thousand ships for.#so what's left?#who am i when i have no one? when ive spent my life making *me* less to make others more? when im nothing but a useful piece of furniture.#i know God loves me! i love Him! but it's not the same. i want *people* to love me. i want to be someone that theyd fight for.#im feeling that 'women have minds and hearts but im so lonely' scene from little women 2019 so much right now.#except im not jo. my family loves me but theyd never do for me what jo's would do for her. theyre also all focused on surviving.#i feel like a military ration. there to be consumed but cast aside the moment something more palatable comes around.#how do i become consumed with joy? how do i let go of the cynicism? its all thats kept me safe! but its choking me too.#its like tony stark in iron man 2. the thing thats kept me alive this far is killing me. i need to find an alternative but its looking like #ill have to synthesize a new element to make it happen and that freaks me out.#ive always been derivative. never an individual. how do i become a trailblazer when my job was always to hold the hand of the one blazing #the trail? how do i become myself happy and free?#because i WANT to be more #i WANT to be more than anger and coldness and a useful idiot. i WANT to be me and be so so happy #but i dont know how to get there #and if someone suggests therapy im shooting you. i dont want to listen to one more person pretend to care about me and tell me #all the things i need to change and spend even longer not learning how to think for myself #i want to be more than this. but i also cant stand the thought of taking up any more space than i do #anyway.#anyone who's read all this thank you and i promise im fine im just in my feelings today lol #im going to work out and get some happy brain chemicals flowing and then ill take a shower and itll all be good.#please dont worry about me! im just having A Moment TM #lilac rambles

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vyeoh · 1 year

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Hot take making fun of a whole ass gender no matter who you’re in front of is a bad move

I do think it's more complicated than that; like, I get it when my lesbian friend goes "god men suck why are they like that" after being catcalled for the 5th time that week and like maybe it's not "morally" right to generalize an entire gender in the "quantifying good vs bad and looking at the net cost/benefit" look at ethics but at the end of the day people will make and shouldn't be ashamed to make choices that aren't aligned with pure rationality. She's allowed to express her rightly felt frustration, and it's undeniable that social factors tend to influence a whole gender to act like dicks to women.

HOWEVER, my point and the point of the post is that you should also be aware of how that expression of frustration will affect those around you. For me and a lot of other transmascs, hearing our friends go "all man are terrible" sucks extra than for cis guys because 1) it means that the person you trust probably doesn't see you as a man despite everything you have done to live as one 2) it means that the person you trust thinks that the thing that you've always wanted is a mistake and something to be made fun of (tangent: this is also why I don't like it when people go "ew do you *want* to be a cis man??" Because while I love being trans, most of my pre-teen and teen years were spent being incredibly depressed that I wasn't born as one).

It's complicated because it's trying to balance the effects of two societal traumas. I don't think my friend is wrong for making fun of men, but I do think it's wrong that she does it in front of a trans guy. As for the appearance thing though, I don't think you should make fun of anyone, regardless. I personally think there's a way to be like "haha that incel lacks hygiene and the neckbeard is evidence" that doesn't also catch bystanders in the crossfire because it doesn't make the nrckbeard the focus of the joke, but I'm also not a great judge of if something comes off insensitive lol. Also I don't think that's really a gender thing, more of a "maybe just be careful because physical appearance is a social signal of stuff like health and economic status etc etc" thing

tldr: deprogram yourself from internet purity culture and have some more understanding for everyone, even if it doesn't have to lead to forgiveness.

#vio.ask #sorry anon this is probably more than you expected #transphobia against transmascs is so rarely discussed and im. very pent up about it #however i don't think approaching this with any sweeping statement is gonna solve anything #because facts DO care about your feelings and the feelings of those around you #because those are whats affected #emotion and rationality are very different mechanisms so you can't really rationalize your way into an emotionally satisfying conclusion #transphobia #transandrophobia #vio.rant #as always disclaimer this is my opinion take it or leave it

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mihai-florescu · 8 days

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Rereading things i write im fed up with how many times i repeat "i think" or "i feel" or "i believe" instead of just saying the statement... but i do worry of the worst faith readings of my thoughts and dont want to make blanket statements. It is all from my perspective... i think everyone experiences life and reality so differently i wouldnt want to invalidate someone else's views. Even if i may think theyre wrong and sometimes am overcome by a painful superiority complex. I dont think thats who i really am... maybe sometimes? I dont know. The idea of an identity is still not something ive fully grasped. I understand in theory its necessity in society but it's only relevant for other people and your relationship to them, not you yourself... or thats how i view it, at least.

#i think being aromantic asexual agender autistic is so freeing in the identity department but lonely #and it's at the root of my feelings that ping pong between inferiority in society and superiority in not being shackled by common desires #rationally i know this i just cant help feeling...the actual feelings when im overcome by them to the point i cant function #even more so than usual #well what is usual even

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mossiestpiglet · 19 days

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once again stressed as hell because i have the opportunity to apply for a job and i feel like i HAVE to take it despite the fact that i really dont want it and also feel like it wouldnt necessarily even be the best move in terms of career… but like. Fatal American Desire To Seize Every Financial Opportunity At The Expense Of My Own Well-being.

#i know i dont want to be a public librarian. if i work in public libraries long term i want to work behind the scenes in some way #it makes so much more sense for me to keep my little no-hours minimum wage job for now and look for something ACTUALLY relevant to my career #interests either an internship or job or something #ugh. i am so susceptible to anxiety over feeling like im missing an oportunity #even when its not something i actually want #i have done all the thinking and rationalizing and it makes so much more sense to focus on school and figure out where i actually want to be #in the LIS world and make those connections than to get a more stressful job in part of it that isnt in the career path i actually want to #go down anyways. and even if i change my mind and DO want to go into public libraries eventually this opportunity will be back soon enough #they hire for this position at least once a year #ecdysing

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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oh! while we're on the Appreciation Train and before i go to sleep! i would like to say that although i rarely respond to replies, i do see them! and i Do cherish them! thank you!

#the only reason i dont really respond #is there tends to be uhhhh a lot sometimes?#which is great! don't let me stop you!#but if i start regularly responding than that is a Lot of responding #& then if i only respond to One and leave the others then i feel really bad bc thats unfair!#and really i have my work cut out for me with asks ahaha #they take a Lot of energy to respond to (affectionately said)#i have to ration it out yk yk #i do try to respond to replies that have questions and such that i can Directly and Quickly answer!#that being said i miss some. i think. im betting that i do bc there's always something im not seeing #but i try to read them all!#and i deeply appreciate them!!#absolutely unprompted #just wanted to say this real quick #i felt like it needed to be said. did it? remains to be seen! we won't see the seen tho #okay i really need to sleep lmfao im seeing spiders and i have a feeling im quickly losing coherency #good night or good morning depending on where you are #good afternoon? i dont know!#whatever position the sun/moon is in: Good [x]!#me? going to sleep BEFORE the sun is up? its more likely than you think #wait... shit the sky is starting to lighten if i hop in bed and play corpse Right Now i can pass out before it reaches the horizon #OH ALSO I SEE COMMENTS IN TAGS AS WELL!!!#I LOVE TAGGED COMMENTS THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!! THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT!

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gertritude-art · 1 year

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by the way just to clarify, I think it's totally fine if there are certain aspects of a work that make you not want to engage with it at all + make you deeply uncomfortable or angry (there are plenty of popular pieces of media I can't stand and don't want anything to do with for these reasons), just that as a general way of engaging with media, it's better to take a story as it is and to look at what is good and bad about it, rather than just view it as wholly one thing or another.

#like there are a few things where im like 'i cant stand this one part of it. throw the whole thing away'#but thats more of a personal opinion/reaction than one that accurately judges a work #all of this is making me sound very smug and rational when actually most of my time is spent getting mad at media #notart #also obviously this is a nuanced topic. i am certain i will think of something that contradicts this 15 minutes from now and scream #should also clarify that there are some works that are genuinely harmful enough in some way that i dont think they should exist #but thats a separate topic tbh

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asurrogateblog · 3 months

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