#to feel weird for talking about fucking college. i dont want to sit here being so bitter that something in my brain broke about school
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One of the more distressing experiences in my life was that when I was 18-19 I met this dude on fb who was like 29. And we had like a pretty good friendship and then we kind of started sexting. Im not sure how it got to that point since I had never experienced any kind of sexual or romantic attraction to this guy but I think he started it by basically telling me how it'd help him out emotionally or something and being this naive girl who had never dated before (wasnt allowed to and never felt the need to either) I just went with it. It wasnt till 3 years later that I realised how fucking weird that was of him. I even remember asking him at one point if it was weird cause I was 19 and he just told me it wasn't cause i was an adult. See, the thing is I was an adult but I wasnt aware of how the world worked and I was naive and easily manipulated into things because I was being told I could help this friend of mine feel better and that as an "adult" I was making an active choice. So now when I think back to it I still feel responsible for going along with it because I was an "adult", I couldn't say no because i didnt want to hurt him and make his "depression" worse, I couldnt talk to anyone about it, I had no past experiences and shit I didnt even know why I didnt have any real desire and felt defective somehow. I would just sit there with a blank face filling out my college applications while sexting cause I had no real desire to be involved in that whole mess.
Fast forward 5 years later I found out I am very much a lesbian, aspec and therefore wasn't broken and very much normal. And it was only recently that it hit me how lucky I was that this guy and I never met irl.
I have not told anyone this before but I only mentioned it here cause I need young girls and boys and everyone else to know that just because you have crossed 18 and are now an "adult" doesnt mean you should get into these situations with much older people. Yes age gap romances happen all the time in workplaces and arranged marriages but arranged marriages are a whole other scenario whereas in workplace romances you are a fully independent individual who has grown to know this person as an adult. Please do not let older adults convince you that as an 18 or 19 year old you are the one making the choice to do something if you dont want to do it. Keep an eye out for any signs of gaslighting or manipulation. Just be safe.
#no im not depressed about it or particularly upset about it#its been ages since that happened#im actually perfectly fine and mostly just laugh at how naive I was back then#i was safe cause he lived far far away#but thay wont be the case for everyone in such a situation
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[parasocial bestie] you still did progress anyhow and das really really good!!! focus on ur trip the attention might mess up da writing vibe and thought process tho i trust 10000000% on ur gigantic shiny brain what you do on ur writing <333333
ALSO WHAT BREAKUP THERES A??? NO YOU DID NOT TALK ABOUT IT HERE JUST ZHONGVEN RECENTLY 😭😭😭😭 pls elaborate please dump it all on me i am sitting i am preparing the Tea i am Sipping for the oncoming angst silly whatever i am expecting and the piping hot tea stays no matter what reaction LETS GOOOO 🍵🔥
SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM OMG THANK GOSH I DIDNT TALK ABOUT IT OKAY OKAY SO.
im so excited omgggggg also good morning !!!!!!! :DDD <33333
okay SO. this is actually basically just an idea i initially had for a Different piece of media taken and recycled.
xiaolumi. modern au. lumine and aether move to xiao's town and start at his school when they're like 13 or 14.
aether befriends half of their year in half the day. lumine is quieter, sticks closer to those who are the same. scara, xiao <- im absolutely not biased in any way. aether is chatty but quiet once you get to know him, lumine is quiet but chatty once you get to know her.
she and xiao share loads of classes and work well together and very much want to be closer to each other but dont exactly know how, there's this sort of tension there that neither of them can figure out to save their lives. they're still very close, just. definitely not as much as they could be. and they endure CONSTANT teasing through their school years from friends and family alike about them liking each other/having crushes on each other/"so when's the wedding?" type stuff. people will try to get them together and they just kind of awkwardly laugh it off and dont really know what to do about it. they don't like each other like that. do they?
its never been a question of whether or not they love each other. never. of course they do. but in college they make new friends, and those new friends not ONLY assume they're together from the very start but also jump right in on the teasing after learning that they're not and they finally think okay. fuck it. lets just try dating.
it lasts... a week? two weeks? three? they've never, ever felt further apart from one another. it's strange and weird and they do not like it, even with all the congratulating and claps on the back and celebration that its "finally" happened.
they break up. they make it very clear to all of their friends that they've broken up. and they're scared !! they're scared. they've been each other's closest friend for years now. what they had worked so well for both of them and now they feel theyve ruined it and they're so scared that it's gone for good.
but the breakup is a huge weight off their shoulders. there's a little bit of distance until one day lumine makes a joke about it and suddenly they fall back into rhythm like nothing ever happened. more jokes about the breakup and about each other being shitty partners are integrated right into their vocubulary, and suddenly, somehow, they're closer than ever before. that tension that'd always been between them seems to vanish, they become so COMFORTABLE with each other in a way they weren't quite able to achieve beforehand
venti is probably a pretty big part of it. i am so ready to shove the aroace agenda onto everyone. they meet him in college and he's friendly and carefree and kind and he befriends them both pretty easily, is one of the few who never teases. he does ask, after the fact, about the breakup and how it felt-- but hes respectful and he doesnt come at it from a romantic standpoint and he helps one of them (i havent really decided but Probably xiao) work through a lot of those feelings and what they mean.
lumine and aether end up having a pretty serious conversation about it. lumine has always, always known that she loves xiao, that she's in love with xiao. that hasn't changed. its just... not that kind of love. aether listens. he helps her to better understand, and he starts to understand, too.
"lumine. all that matters to me is that youre happy. are you happy?" and she is. she really, really is.
lumine and xiao do talk about it eventually, too. lumine asks xiao if he loves her. not because she wants or expects to hear a yes, just because she wants to know. wants to understand his feelings, too. and he describes it-- the depth of his care, how important she is to him, describes exactly how he feels and does not once use the word love to do so. he doesnt really know if its love. he doesnt know if any of it is. and lumine tells him that that's okay. that it doesnt have to be love. they're on the same page, they understand, that's what matters.
the Biggest Focus if i were to write it would be that huge comfort and the weight off their shoulders afterwards. the characters i first had this thought for were slightly younger teenagers, one with a huge crush on the other thats so intense they barely manage to befriend them out of shyness, and the thought was that they'd finally date, it would suck, theyd break up, and suddenly without all the perceived romantic feelings in the way there'd be nothing stopping them from being besties. i do think it works a little better with that and in theory i could change this around so that xiao and lumine meet later on and both have ""crushes"" on each other and dont know each other super well before getting together? i actually do kind of like that thought now. fawk. erm. ill Probably end up doing that if i ever do this :sob:
BUT ANYWAYS yeah that's the whole idea/premise smile. breakup fic my <3333333
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there’s this weird feeling when you’ve talked with someone you haven’t talked with in a long time. It’s confusing and weird, unsettling. There’s a shift in your mind, bringing you back to that place your brain used to live when you once knew them. the world sort of cracks; reality is split between the one you’re living in and the one you once did. things change so drastically, internally and externally; seeing two realities at once is barely scratching the surface of the story.
my boyfriend from 8th grade texted me yesterday. it was strange seeing his name pop up on my phone after a couple years of it missing. we dated in 8th grade and flirted/’were a thing’ through the beginning of 9th, until i ripped his heart out by dating the biggest douche in our grade. it didn’t last though, and soon enough i was back to talking to him. he did not like that. he was unreceptive and irritated, as he should have been. i gave up, our friendship, what was left of it, was over. I met jon soon thereafter. jon was my world. jon taught me to forget everything else that wasnt him. memories became blurred, forced into a spot where they would remain for almost 7 years now. jon left the picture 4 years after douche did.
freshman year of college started and my heartbroken self reached out to 8. i was drunk at the time of texting him, hoping maybe if he came over he could hold me, or we could fuck, maybe both. my ignorant self pushed onto him even though he had a girlfriend that he was deeply in love with. she lived far away, it would have been easy. but im not that girl, hes not that guy. (I should say not that girl unless its birdman who didnt tell me). we spent about a week talking, it was nice to have a friend who knew parts about me other people didnt. friend - it actually felt like he was a friend, that is not sarcasm. then life went quiet, his name no longer appeared on my phone, nor did mine on his.
here we are, 3 years later. he messages me, the conversation starts, just as it did freshman year. except this time it’s something different. there isnt a mention of a girl in his life, there is only awkward. i asked him how she was doing, having known to hear alot about her that week freshman year. he said he didnt know. he said he doesnt talk to her anymore. thats when i realized, he was doing the same thing i was doing all those years ago. he denies it, but i feel if i were not to be in this relationship with the man i plan to marry, things would have been different on his part. whether or not they would be on mine does not matter, it is not a reality i’ll ever dream. he claims to just want to talk and catch up, as his gf did not let him talk to me when they were together, familiar. i think maybe this is true, at least a part of truth.
it is strange talking to him. the memories bubble up in confusing segments. i think about my first kiss, my first date, my first school dance. i think about the awkward time i rode my bike 2 miles to make out with him in the high school baseball teams dugout. gosh it was gross. he tasted like mexican, despite the fact he had chewed gum on the way. i didnt care though; until i did and lied and said i had to leave. im laughing writing this, it makes me happy to remanence.
i know i genuinely loved him, and i know he loved me. it was a naive love, one that was untouched by previous hurt and confused boundaries. we were 14, boundaries were still set by parents and prudish upbringing. perhaps thats why i feel i miss him in these moments. i dont miss him, i miss the memories. i miss the brain untouched by jon, untouched by alcohol and abuse. i miss a time before realizing how being an adult is harder than i ever thought. i miss being a kid when all that mattered was sitting next to your boyfriend in history class trying not to caught holding hands under the table.
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Hi everyone surprise day 2 of tour and i might have covid??
Isolating
But never mind that, i had a dream last night, v interesting.
Um....i was in the college town dreamscape and tons of things were happening. But basically, i was with Liam outside somewhere, at the bottom hill of campus, near where i was running from those bad guys and also near the entrances to the fancy dinner places/modeling agency/warehouse
And we were talking about hanging out, doing whatever and we were gonna leave wherever we were to hangout at one of our apartments?? So i had gotten to where we were on foot, but he took the truck, so i assumed i would travel with him in the truck like duhh. But somehow he got in his truck and basically drove off, and turned in a way that was faster by car but i was like, if youre just gonna leave me im obv not gonna WALK that way, im gonna go the fastest way by foot. I was kinda annoyed but not as much as u think i was just like okay?? guess im walking this way
But then he saw i wasnt following the car and skrtted around like arielle wtf? as if i was the weird one. And he drove around and was like yelling out the window "arielle, stay there, im driving over to you im sorry"
And i had a tiny attitude bc like he left me so i was being a little dramatic and was like "no i can just walk" and he was like "dont be stupid" and just kept saying "get in the car, just get in the car now cmon"
So i did and then it was fine we were talking, and we were talking about this fancy new sushi restaurant. And then ever so slyly, he was like "we should go try it tonight....just us" and i was like :)))))) "yea we should" and he was like okay, then i'll drop you off to get ready and i'll pick you up at 5:30?? or 9:30 one of those. And i was like yeaa it was so cute and shy and cute. I was like awww, no im so excited to go on a dinner date w baby
So then i went in my apartment and was telling my friends what happened and i explained the full thing and bff was like "omg he asked you on a dateeeee" and i coudlnt tell if they were being genuine but i was like "yea i know fucking finally" but then i lookd at the time, and i was like shit i have to get ready i have to pick a cute outfit. So i was throwing together leggings, nice shirt, and cardigan vibes. And then....the next thing i remember we were at the restaurant, but some other people were crfashing our date and i was kinda pissed but not crazy pissed idk
I just remember being like uhhh, not this is still my date tonight so you can be here all u want but im keeping his attention and sitting across from him and not gonna feel sorry about it.
Thats it pretty much. And all day the sushi references have been crazy
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Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!
thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)
spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk
not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts
-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol
-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!
-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)
-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN
-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD
-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;
-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)
-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste
-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.
-noelle. noelle. girlboss!
-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself
-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!
-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.
-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!
-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in
-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!
-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.
-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)
-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)
-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp
-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like
-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES
-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.
-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?
-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?
-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!
-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows
-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0
-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing
-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you
-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard
that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk
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i,, i’m going through an eren brainrot rn and i was hoping if i could request a sub n very needy eren x f!reader. something along the lines of him pissing off the reader and she teases him to the max and eren’s just begginggg ; and then reader gets herself off without letting him release and he’s just cryinG AGGHHABA I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE <//3 ty have a nice day ≧ω≦
oh lord................................... i have to....................... think alot oh god,,, also college au bc head empty <333
vvv nsfw under the cut vvv
today has been so fucking stressful for you. class has not been treating you well and your asshole of a boyfriend has been acting more like an asshole than usual. you loved him, of course you did, but god did you wish he would shut his fucking mouth sometimes.
you often confided in your dorm-mate, ymir for advice, causing her to just laugh and nudge you with a: “sorry can’t relate, my girlfriend is basically an angel on earth.”
to which you respond with a snicker and nudge her back.
you often wished you had what historia and ymir had between them with eren but he had a weird charm that had you fall for him in the first place.
you had a free period sandwiched between two lessons of english literature. so, instead of going back to your dorm for a nap or to the nearest starbucks, you spent it in the library with a classmate of yours. she was quite standoffish when you first met her. a short blond who intimidated nearly everyone around her.
you were one of the few lucky ones who were able to get close to her. the other two being a jock and his sidekick but more into that later.
sighing as your phone buzzed against the wooden table, you saw the multiple notifications from eren pop up on screen. your eye twitched as you tried focusing on studying and annie let out a small chuckle at your reaction.
“problem in paradise?” she mused, watching as you tensed for a second before letting out a deep breath.
“man, i don’t know. i love eren but-” you were about to go on until annie kicked you under the desk, jutting her head towards the right. you furrowed your brows, looking behind you to see your boyfriend enter with his two friends.
“speak of the devil.”
“y/n.” eren smirked, taking a chair and spinning it around, sitting down with his legs on either side. his arms rested on the top of the back of the wooden chair.
“whatcha doin’” his head cocked to the side to look at you, like a lost puppy.
his hair was slowly falling out of his bun, causing small strands to frame his face. you would be lying if you said he didn’t look ethereal.
“im studying, jaeger.” you let out, running a yellow highlighter along a few keywords, keeping your eyes on your textbook.
eren rolled his eyes in response, peering over the chair to take a look at your various notes before snorting.
“fuckin’ nerd.”
you threw a look over at him. could he not take anything seriously?
“don’t you guys have somewhere to be maybe? like i don’t know, catching up with professor erwin?” annie spoke up, causing all of you to have a moment of shock. armin nodded, agreeing with her, tugging on eren’s hood.
“they’re trying to study, c’mon don’t bother them.”
mikasa was silent, giving you an apologising smile.
“bother my own girlfriend? more likely than you think, but yeah, my brother will be on my ass if i miss another fucking meeting.” he sighs, giving you a playful two finger salute before rushing off with the other two. you slumped into your chair.
“sorry annie-”
“just teach him a lesson or something, if you catch my drift.” she mumbles quickly, collecting her stuff. you look at her in surprise.
“what?” she snickers at your reaction, “im not a fucking virgin. time for class.” she mentions, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“good idea..” you mumble to yourself as she walks off, leaving you to your own thoughts.
good idea indeed.
and eren gave you just the perfect opportunity. he burst in with no knock, no indication he was coming over, nothing.
ymir was spending the night at historia’s so you didn’t have to worry about that.
“eren what the fuck have i told you about coming in unannounced? ymir could’ve been i dont know, getting it on with historia for all you know.” you looked over at him, smiling internally at how he remembered to take his shoes off before joining you on your bed. you were not about to have his dirty ass shoes on your clean bed.
“sorry but to be fair i did see ymir walk into historia’s dorm so i knew you were alone.” he steals your soda to take a sip of it before placing it back on the bedside table.
annie’s words echoed in your head, causing you to jump into action.
you threw yourself over him, straddling his waist as he straightened up, excitement flashing in his eyes at where the night was leading. your threw your arms over his shoulders, shuffling so that you purposefully pressed onto his bulge through his jeans.
he moved forward to catch your lips but you ducked your head, kissing down his cheek and jaw, running your tongue along the skin. your continued down, relishing in the way his hips jutted up once you pressed your lips to that one spot on his neck. you bit and sucked, marking him as yours.
eren’s hands rested at your hips, his fingers digging into your thin tank top.
you spot ymir’s tie on the floor. perfect.
you climb off of him, a quizzical look painting his face as you picked it up along with one of your (clean) socks. the brunet seemed to put two and two together.
“ohhh is that what we’re doing huh baby?” he threw his jacket off along with his shirt, expecting you to stare. however, he got the opposite. you ignored his movements, simply binding his hands to the bed and the using the (CLEAN!!!) sock as a makeshift ballgag.
you were impressed with yourself. taking your phone out to take a quick picture before tossing it away and getting to work.
“you’ve been such a bitch boy for the past few days. why?” you questioned him, enjoying how he struggled to form words with the cloth in his mouth.
“is it because you haven’t got your dick wet in a while? is that it?” you tease, slipping your clothes off, leaving you in your underwear and bra. his eyes trailed your form, every curve and beauty mark. he flicked his eyes from you to his pants, which had a much evident tent in them now.
you gave a little bit of mercy, pulling his jeans off and dragging a palm over his boxers where his cock had already leaked with precum. after a few teasing presses, you give him the relief of taking off his boxers.
you took his dick in your hands, pumping it a few times. you swiped your tongue along the tip, causing him to shudder under you. you stepped out of your panties, letting them drop to the floor. his eyes took notice of your arousal dripping down your thighs. your finger toyed with your clit, spreading your legs for him to see, his cock twitching when you shoved a finger into your cunt.
eren wanted nothing more than to shove his face between your thighs right now. to lap and lick at your juices as you moaned his name. he tugged at the binding, brows furrowing as his cock begged for attention.
you giggled at his neediness, crawling over to him and hovering over his length before fulling sitting down on him. drool split out of his mouth, causing the cloth ti go damp. a dull moan escaping his throat.
you were so hot and tight around him and he couldn’t help but buck his hips upwards into yours. though he easily hit into your sensitive spot.
“holy fuck, you’re so fucking big fuck.” you cursed, lifting yourself before slamming down onto him, causing him to throw his head back at the feeling. the lewd sound of skin on skin echoed throughout your room and whoever walked past would definitely know what was going on.
you continue fucking yourself on his cock, using your fingers to pinch at your clit. the sight alone could’ve made eren cum in you but it was nothing compared to how you creamed around him, your walls pulsing around him. he was literally about to fall off the edge, before you pulled off of him. his cock falling limp as a tiny drop of cum dribbled out of him.
“wha fe hell!” he yelled through the fabric. you pulled the sock in his mouth down, letting him talk freely.
“please y/n! i want to cum! please let me cum!” eren begged, tugging on the bindings harder.
“please fuck- i just wanna feel your pretty pussy please.” he pressed on further, causing the corners of your lips to curl up into a teasing smile. his eyes were glassy, tears falling with a single blink. long brown hair sticking to his damp forehead, messy on the pillow under his head.
“sorry baby..” you threw on a hoodie, your panties and some shorts after cleaning yourself up.
“maybe if you weren’t such a little bitchy boy, i would’ve let you cum.” you slid his boxers and jeans back on for him, zipping him up.
“now, you stay here, im gonna get us some pizza, yeah?” you pulled his hair into a bun and loosened the tie around his wrists slightly.
you’ll untie them completely later, but for now, you wanted to have your fun.
#eren smut#timeskip eren smut#eren yeager smut#eren jaeger smut#eren x reader smut#attack on titan smut
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modern eren jaeger dating headcanons
lowercase intended !
college!eren jaeger x gn!reader
warnings: mentions of p*rnhub
- firstly, this man is CONVINCED it was love at first sight (he ALWAYS tells you this too)
- "babe when i met you i just KNEW you were gonna be mine" "no you didnt" "yes i did- hey dont stop holding me 😣"
- you guys met because you were tutoring him. (he was failing history 😔💔)
- after weeks of shy touches and shared giggles he FINALLY brought his grade up and didnt need you anymore
- that didnt mean he didnt want you tho ;)
- asked you out on a date (and by that i mean to a party smh 🙄)
- and the rest is history 😌✨
- hes the kind of guy that flirts with you even though youre together
- "so uh,, you come here often 😏"
- "eren youre in my apartment 😐"
- he tries to invite you everywhere that he goes with his friends
- like,,, EVERYWHERE
- jean and reiner wanna organize a boys night ? hes pulling out his phone getting ready to text you and saying "oh is it okay if y/n comes ? i didnt get to see them much this week i miss them 🥺" like mf this is for The Boyz 😡😤🥶🥵🔥‼️
- youre weirdly close with sasha, shes just really cool
- eren will call you at the most inconvenient times for the stupidest reasons
- one time he called you while you were doing an INTERVIEW for work and you wanna know what he called you for ? to tell you he bought a bunch of silly string to use on jean.
- bitch im trying to get PAID. rn . trying to make a LIVING. so i dont end up below the POVERTY LINE. tell me about ur silly string after i secure the bag 🙄‼️
- is very touchy. like very touchy.
- but also respects bounderies
- hes NEVER mad when you have something to say about him or your relationship together
- you dont feel comfortable with the pda ?? He Wont do it Again
- you think you two could work on communicating better with each other ?? hes already googling ways to do that
- he cares and cherishes you and the bond you two have created together, hes not gonna try and ruin that
- is a fucking lightweight. dont go with him to parties.
- but if you asked him to hold his drink he will NOT forget about it.
- a couple times he broke the plastic cup he was gripping it so hard 🤩
- is also the type of guy to just protect others ?? like for no reason
- he sees a guy trying to get close to a girl who had made it abundantly clear that she didnt want that ?? hes going over there and playing bf to protect that stranger
- he can thank first year drama class for his superb acting skills 😌✨
- will literally help anyone he sees in a bind
- also his brother is weirdly cool ??
- his parents live far away but his brother only lives like,, 40 minutes away from the university
- hes like an older brother to everyone 🤩
- if you like reading classic literature zeke is your guy to talk to. has so many ideas and opinions on those stories and stuff, and will NOT hesitate to lend you a book of his
- eren has led lights in his room. he ALWAYS has them on the colour red
- he doesnt understand why ppl think hes horny bc of the red lights ?? his eyes just adjust better to the red lights compared to the blue 😔
- he has stretch marks all over his body 🤩 like on his biceps, tummy, back, thighs, etc. etc. doesnt really think about them anymore but he used to be SO self conscious of them in highschool. he saw berty (bertholdt) with his shirt off once during his freshman year and saw how he had stretch marks too, and immediately thought they were cool
- he likes to play with your hair and scratch your scalp, but he likes it when you braid his hair because he thinks it makes him look pretty
- will get you weird things because they remind him of you
- one time he came to pick you up for your date and before you could even KISS HIM hes pushing you away and pulling out a tiny ceramic frog 😐
- "no you dont understand zeke took me to a thrift store today and i found this and it reminded me of you-" "i look like a frog to you ? is that what youre saying ?" "NO ! its just so cute, and youre so cute so i had to get it. do you like it 😊"
- doesnt like most meats, his only exceptions are chicken,
- thats it 😐
- you guys were having a picnic and you made sandwichs (with the sliced turkey meat) and he took one bite out of it, looked you in your face, and spit it back into the baggy without breaking eye contact
- likes just laying in bed with you. has a playlist of songs like arctic monkeys and shit like that, just sitting in the dark with a song on low volume, whispering whatever he wants into your ear is like,, the DEFINITION of love in his book
- also can and will recite lines from shakespeare plays to you ?? will be at the most randomest times. you could be sweeping and he'd just wrap his arms around you before whispering "two households, both alike in dignity. in fair verona where we lay our scene. from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean."
- okay mf this isnt english class 😐‼️ but thank you 😁👍
- will always try and do new tiktok trends and make funny videos so he can "blow up"
- he gets on average like 20 views 🤩
- he likes seeing you and his friends get along, it just makes him so happy that you love mikasa and armin just as much as he does, and hes so thankful that youre all friends
- likes to help you reach whatever you cant, and if youre taller (even by an inch) hes making you grab things for him
- he doesnt have a major yet, and he doesnt really know what he wants to do with his life, but being a hairstylist sounds cool
- whenever youre having a bad day mentally, he'll just give you your space unless you say otherwise
- he doesnt know if its the best idea, but he knows when he gets into a bad headspace he wants to be alone
- if you do say you want him with you, he'll lie right beside you in bed and spoon you, and if you want he'll put on the arctic monkeys playlist and whisper about the project he worked on for his business class
- he doesnt like sharing, BUT will steal your shit all the time 🙄
- "oh hey heres that thing i borrowed from you" "oh my fucking god eren i thought i lost that months ago"
- may not understand everything he learns in class, but he always tries bc this is his education !! his parents saved up a lot of money for him to be able to go to university !! hes gonna try his best to make the most of this
- i feel like he would play baseball at university. he asks that u wear his jersey to every game so "everyone knows that the most beautiful person attending this educational establishment is MINE" like,, k ill wear the jersey 🙄🤚
- has a list of the best websites to use to illegally stream movies, anime etc.
NSFW ! -------
- also hates pornhub. knows about all the controversies and shit about the website and doesnt use it. supports smaller porn companies that respect their workers 😁👍
- his parents love you. Im Serious
- carla asks about you all the time (hey mommy 😏) and his dad wonders about you too even though hes more lowkey about it
- always has to open the door for you or pull out your chair for you. no matter what setting youre in he Has to do it bc hes a gentleman
- bohemian rhapsody is his comfort film
- i think eren thinks that Youre the One for him, and this idea is solidified when you two graduate together 😍
- he takes you back to the library where he first met you, gives you a promise ring and just asks you to move in with him, hes not ready for an engagement and he knows you arent either, but he knows that youre it for him, and he just wants to be with you for as long as youll allow it
GAH this felt all over the place and very mediocre but i hope you enjoyed !!! remember asks are open so feel free to request something 🤩
#attack on titan#attack on titan headcanons#attack on titan fanfiction#attack on titan x reader#eren yeager#eren yeager x reader#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x reader#armin arlert#mikasa ackerman#sasha braus#levi ackerman#eren yeager headcanons#eren jaeger headcanons
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Can you do Daichi x male reader where Daichi asks his boyfriend to come over to meet his team and he forgets and goes home so Daichi give him a call and is like "where you at?" "I cant come I look like a clown." "I bet you dont look that bad." "No you dont get it im in full drag." So his boyfriend comes to the gym in full drag, booby and butt pads, and monster heels, and when he walked in it's like Kags that recognizes him as his drag name.
LMAOOJSKE DRAG QUEEN READEKRNRNF
——————
Daichi x reader - DRAG QUEEN?!
⚠️warnings - drag queen, college first year reader x high school 3rd year (if that’s even a warning skdjd)
Pronouns- male, he/him
——————
Daichi said it on impulse, really.
“Do you guys...wanna meet my boyfriend?”
Everyone in the gym stopped. They were in middle of a practice match between themselves, and just when Yamaguchi was about to serve, he choked on air and missed the ball completely. The ball flew in the air, before landing somewhere near his feet.
Everyone stared at Daichi with a variety of expressions. Some shocked, some looking at him like he ‘said I’m gonna chop my dick off,’ and some who didn’t even care. (Tsukishima, obviously.) Ukai had to call timeout, since no one could focus after what Daichi blurted out.
Suga chuckled awkwardly, slinging a towel over his shoulders. “So uh, ahaha, your um...gay...?” His voice progressively died down into a whisper.
“Yeah. Is...that’s a problem?”
“No! No! I fully support y-“
“AND YOU CHOSE NOW TO TELL US? DUDE, WE COULD’VE LIKE, THROWN YOU A COMING-OUT PARTY!” Tanaka shook his captaincy the shoulders, while Noya squirted water into his mouth with his squeeze bottle.
“Well I don’t really mind, I’m already out, I was just asking if you wanted to meet him.”
“DO WE?! OF COURSE WE DO! DOES HE PLAY VOLLEYBALL?! DO YOU THINK HE COULD JOIN THE TEAM?!” Hinata jumped up and down, slowly inching is way towards Daichi with an awestruck look on his face. He’s rather surprised Hinata isn’t more shocked.
“Yeah. Uh-no, sorry. He doesn’t play.” Daichi chuckled, patting an excited looking hinata on the head. “I don’t think he has work tomorrow, so tomorrow’s really the only time he can come to practice.”
“Work?” Asahi looked up from the towel he was using to wipe off his sweat. “How old is he? Is he a third year?”
“He’s a first year in college. Actually-I think he goes to the college in Sendai.”
Asahi exhaled. It would’ve been weird if someone as young as a highschooler were to already be working, when the could be enjoying their time in classes or clubs. “Where does he work?”
Flashbacks of all the drag shows and money being thrown around a stage whipped across Daichis mind like a slap to the face. He’s sure the team wouldn’t mind, especially because they already don’t mind him having a boyfriend, but he isn’t sure if (Y/n) was ok with him telling his team he was a...y’know.
“...I’m not sure?”
————
“Oh-hello Daikkun! How was practice today?” (Y/n) opened the passenger seat to his door, waiting for him to step inside. Sometimes he liked to pick him up from school before he had to get in makeup for a night show. That didn’t stop him from doing a little bit of eyeliner, though.
“It was nice. I told them they could meet you soon. The team.”
“Really?!”
“Yeah, you don’t have any shows tomorrow, right? I kind of told them tomorrow.” Daichi scrubbed at the back of his neck, while (y/n) started up his car. “I know you’ve wanted to meet them.”
“You bet your ass! Well-I mean I have a show at like 2 am but that doesn’t matter. What time can I come? Are they nice? Didn’t you say there was one who was really short but could jump as high as me in stilettos?”
“Oi-! Focus on the road!”
“Sorry, sorry! I’m just excited. Anyways! Can you come to my show tonight? I’ll sneak you in.”
“Every time I go to one of your drag shows I get scared someone will kick me out since I’m 17.”
“Dude, have you seen yourself?!” (Y/n) gestures over to Daichi, putting emphasis on his thigh-region. “You’re big and muscly enough to at least pass as 18. It’s just a one year difference, when’s your birthday again?”
“I can’t believe you forgot, I’m hurt.” Daichi chuckled, fiddling with his backpack straps on his lap. “Besides, doesn’t your show run kind of late today? I don’t get to choose when to take my classes like you, (L/n). And I have morning practice, so I need to sleep.”
“You’re no fun, Daikkun.”
“Yeah, yeah, My house is over there.”
————
(Y/n) scrolled through his phone for the nth time that day. Fanning himself dramatically, he huffed and buried his face into his pillow. There was nothing to do today, and since he took morning classes, that left him with the rest of the afternoon to ponder, before working at night.
Was there something to do today? Was he forgetting something? He felt like he was, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.
He glanced guilty at a tube of light pink lip gloss tossed haphazardly on his desk. A light bulb went off in his head.
Hastily throwing his covers off his body, (y/n) dragged himself over to his closet, grabbing the lip gloss in the process. He shuffled through hangers of clothes, finally pulling out a girls uniform he bought from when he was in high school. He never wore it to school, choosing to wear the boys uniform, but he thought it’d be nice to have when he was feeling fruity.
Slipping on the skirt and cardigan, he walked over to his desk mirror. He unscrewed the wand from the tube of lip gloss, tentatively applying it generously to his lips. He shrugged. He figured he could do some more makeup. It’s not like he’s busy today, right?
Carefully winging the tip of his eyeliner, he took a step back and admired himself in the mirror. He looked cute, yeah, but cute wasn’t really his style. It screamed ‘cute femboy’ rather than his usual ‘sexy ass drag queen dominatrix who could step on you with their sharp ass knife heels’
Damn. He was really about to go all out, huh? Time to bring out the butt pads and fake boobs.
————
Sighing contently in front of the mirror, (y/n) did a little spin, puffing out the length of his dress. Damn, he was hot. And with his impossibly high monster heels? Take me now.
(Y/n) was in the midst of taking a couple cute selfies in front of his full length mirror, when his screen went grey and a caller ID appeared.
‘Incoming call - Daikkun!! <3’
(Y/n) smiled unconsciously and clicked the bright green button with his thumb. He brought his phone to his ear and twirled a piece of his faux wig with his finger.
“Hi Daikkun! Did you need something, cutie?”
“Are you still coming over?” Daichis voice was hushed, and the slam of volleyballs rang though his speaker.
“Uh-what for?”
“To meet my team? Where are you?”
Fuck.
(Y/n) paled as he eyed himself in the mirror. He couldn’t show up looking like that. And it was too much to take off before Daichis practice ended. This was the only time he had to meet this team Daichi had always been talking about, and he’d completely forgot.
“...I can’t, I look like a clown.” (Y/n’s) voice came out a hoarse, nervous-chuckly whisper. He could taste the expensive red lipstick sitting on his lips.
“I’m sure you don’t look that bad.”
“Dude no, you don’t understand.” (Y/n) picked at the hem of his dress, the silicone boobs suddenly squeezing his chest a bit too tightly. “I’m in full drag.”
A silence rang out from both sides of the line. Daichi awkwardly chuckled.
“Ahaha uh-didn’t you say you didn’t have work today?”
“No! No I-I don’t have work til like-later later but like-I got bored and I forgot I was gonna meet your team today...sorry-“
“Well I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up in drag. I mean-they seemed pretty ok with knowing we’re a thing so...?”
(Y/n) gulped.
“...I guess I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”
—————
“Good work everyone!”
Ukai dismissed the players, leaving them to start rolling up the net and cleaning up the gym. Sugawara jogged up to the captain, dragging his mop lazily behind him.
“You said your boyfriend was gonna come today, right? Where is he?”
“Uh,” Daichi checked his wrist, before realizing he didn’t have a watch and fished out his phone. “He should be here any minute now-“
Just in time, the doors to the gym creaked open. Daichi smiled, leaving Suga to trail behind him curiously. He reached for the door handle, giving it a firm pull.
In stepped a boy with a long synthetic wig on, and heels that made him tower over Daichi easily. The sharp platforms of his heels clicked with each step he took, jewelry and accessories also bobbing up and down. And not to mention the ‘bobbling’ the silicone boobs made. Jeez, even if they were fake, they did still jiggle a hell of a lot.
(Y/n) bent down daintily, pressing a kiss onto Daichi’s cheek. Lipstick smeared on his sweaty cheek, leaving a dark imprint on the side of his face. (Y/n) seemed to finally take notice of all the astonished stares directed at him.
Should he A, stand beside his boyfriend awkwardly and pick at the loose thread of his dress or B, put on his confident drag persona and play it off?
He chose B.
(Y/n) smirked and leaned on on of his feet, placing a hand on his hip. “What? Like what you see, boys? I’m afraid I’m already taken, though.”
Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Even with the confident display, (y/n) couldn’t help but stay somewhat behind Daichi, trying to shrink behind his 10 inch heels.
Immediately, a bald guy and a kid with a bleached strip on the front of his head erupted into excitement.
“Yo! Sick dress, dude!”
The atmosphere lightened up tremendously. (Y/n) let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Well thank you, Mr. Bleach strip.”
The bald one, who introduced himself as ‘Tanaka’, slapped Daichi on the back. “Dude! What’s with all the surprises?! You tell us you have a boyfriend but you didn’t tell us he was a drag queen?!”
“I-to be honest I didn’t know he was in drag today-I didn’t know he had work.”
The closet door opened, with Hinata and Kageyama walking out from placing the net inside. Hinata gasped excitedly, while Kageyama froze. Hinata practically bolted towards the unknown person wearing heels and jumped up to his height. (Y/n) choked on air. This kid practically flew at him.
“Wow! Are you one of those ‘drag queens’ I see on tv sometimes?! Cool! That’s so cool! I-“
“ARE YOU QUIMCHI?!”
Hinatas throat closed up, along with (y/n) after hearing his stage name being called out so...dramatically. The boy continued.
“...F-FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW THEY DID ON THAT ONE CLUB ON THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH SHIN’ICHI HATORI?!”
Kageyamas booming voice rang through the gym as he pointed at (y/n) with wide eyes. Everyone’s gaze went from (y/n) to Kageyama, who was frozen in place. Even (y/n) was a tad bit confused.
The club he worked at recently had a special done on TV, and (y/n) was only in the background. He didn’t know how this...boy recognized him from that, or why he was even watching the drag special on that show in the first place.
“...yeah...yeah I am,” (y/n) smiled awkwardly and a boy with blond hair and glasses chuckled from somewhere in the gym.
The boy, with another guy with dark-green hair, walked out from the storage closet aswell. “Who knew the king was into that kind of stuff? Drag queens? No disrespect, ma’am-sir.”
Kageyama seemed to unfreeze just to glare at Tsukishima with a flushed face. “I-IM NOT! MY STUPID SISTERS JUST A BIG FAN, IS ALL!“
Kageyama turned to (y/n), and marched scarily fast towards him. He stopped abruptly and bowed his head so far it made (y/n) take a step back.
“M-MAY I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY SISTER?! AN-AND MAYBE A PHOTO TOO?!” Kageyama stiffly held his arms to his sides as he kept his head down. Small chuckles and snorts sounded from all around the gym, (y/n) even joining in and patting the black haired boys head.
“Sure thing, doll.”
————
“Your team was nicer than I thought.”
Daichi looked up questionably, fastening his seatbelt. (Y/n) started up his car. “What do you mean, nicer?”
“Well-I thought they were gonna be a bunch of meatheads banging their heads together. They’re actually more interesting than I thought they were going to be. Especially that Kageyama guy.”
Daichi smiled contently. “I’m glad you like them, then.”
A comfortable silence breezed by them, the only sounds audible being the hum of the car engine and the soft tapping of Daichis nails against the armrest. Daichi stole a glance at (y/n). His wig was discarded, placed neatly on the backseat with the wig cap and hairpins resting underneath it, and his hair was slightly damp and messy due to being constricted. His lipstick was a bit smeared from when he kissed him on the cheek, and droplets of sweat gathered near his hairline.
Daichi set his fingers lightly on the spot where the lipstick mark sat, caressing it softly so the lipstick wouldn’t smear more that it already has. He exhaled softly and shifted his gaze back down. He wouldn’t mind if he came to his practice again.
“...so wanna come to my show tonight, Daikkun?”
“It’s at 2am, no.”
—————
Extra:
Kageyama: miwa.
Kageyama: MIWA.
Miwa sighed and checked her phone, sliently scolding her brother for bothering her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes. She swore, if Tobio wanted a ride home from practice...
Miwa: mm
Kageyama: -photo sent-
Miwa: DUDE
Miwa: AJDJSKDKF
Miwa: HOW THE FUCK
Miwa: TELL ME YOU GOT QUIMCHIS AUTOGRAPH DJFJDJE
Kageyama: -photo sent-
Kageyama: I DID. I GOT ONE FOR U AND ONE FOR ME
Kageyama: HE WAS SO TALL TOO
Kageyama: LIKE HE WAS A HALF FOOT TALLER THAN ME EVEN WITHOUT THE HEELS
Miwa: WHY WAS HE AT UR PRACTICE WHSHD
Kageyama: apparently he’s dating my captain
Miwa: WHAT RHE FUCKCIDNEBRJ
——————
#daichi x male reader#daichi x reader#daichi sawamura#daichi sawamura x reader#daichi hcs#daichi x you#daichi hq#sawamura daichi#daichi fluff#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x male reader#haikyuu fanfiction#hq x male reader#hq x y/n#hq x you#hq x reader#haikyu x reader#haikyuu daichi x reader
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Umbrageous
Pairing: Erwin x Reader (eventually Reader x Eren, Reader x Levi, Reader x Hange maybe more)
Summary: Your mom has married the ever handsome Erwin Smith but the two of you have started an illicit affair under her nose. As you become more jealous of being the other women you start to engage in office affairs to try and force Erwin’s hand.
Content Warnings: Step dad! Erwin, alcoholism, size kink, cheating, pseudoincest, unprotected sex
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
“So I basically make copies, paginate those copies, go on coffee runs. I’m the office bitch basically” Eren says rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, the other resting on the table on the stack of copies he was previously holding now resting on the table. While the office area where clients would come was nicely furnished and brightly light with floor to ceiling windows this backroom filled with equipment was dimly light with no windows and a disgustingly 70’s style wall color. “They also stuck you back in the worst part of the building, I kinda figured the whole building would have been nice” you say. “Oh well out front where Mr.Smith and Mr.Ackerman have their offices are nice for the clients but back where the paralegals and interns are it's pretty groody huh?” he gives a slight chuckle looking up just enough to meet your eyes. “So Eren what are you up to tonight” you say, cocking your head to the side and biting your bottom lip. You wanted to make sure he got the hint loud and clear, it seemed like a great form of revenge, you fucking Erwin’s little intern. It would be an utterly appropriate relationship that would raise red flags if he dared object to it and the best part was that he’d have to see this boy everyday knowing he violated his little princess. Would it make Eren’s life harder? Probably but you really didn’t care that much, you could only think about how smug you’d feel seeing Erwin ticked off at the boy. The boy's eyes widened and you could tell he was trying to suppress a smile “uh I uh, you know I wasn't actually doing anything” he breaks eye contact to look at the ceiling “but if you want maybe you and me, we could do something. Together” he looks back to meet your eyes looking nervous as hell. He’s desperately hoping that's what you wanted to hear, that you weren't just trying to make polite small talk. You stand up from the doorway you had been leaning on to and grab a piece of paper out of the recycling pile and pluck the pen that had been sitting behind Erens ear and begin to scrawl. “Here’s my address, pick me up at 7” you flash him a smile before leaving making sure to not give him the chance to ask for your number. That was intentional just giving him the address so that way he’d have to come to the door, no ‘i'm outside texts', you wanted to rub it in Erwin's face.
Later that night you were sitting at your vanity putting the final touches on your makeup for the night when there was a knock at the door “come in”. You already knew who it was by the heavy footsteps as he was coming up the stairs, but you still couldn't help but to smirk when Erwin opened the door, meeting his eyes in the mirror. He came up behind you and placed his large hands on your bare shoulders feeling the warmth radiating down. “Who are you getting all dolled up for” comes out in a cold monotone voice, his eyes never leaving yours in the mirror. You finish wiping the sticky pink lipgloss on and reply in a condescending tone “Oh didn't I tell you”? A devious smile spreads across your face “that handsome intern asked me on a date”. Erwin clenches his jaw, grip on your shoulders tightening “ y/n I know you're mad at me about today” he exhales “but this is just childish”. “Aww daddy don't tell me you're jealous of the little Jager boy”. “I'm not jealous of a child like him, and put a jacket or something on that's barely a shirt” he removes his hands from your shoulders and briskly walks out the door.
Erwin is sitting down in the living room with your mom reading the paper when the doorbell rings. He puts down the paper and goes to open the door, “Mr.Smith, kinda weird to see you outside of work i'm here to pick up y/n”. Without breaking eye contact with Eren, Erwin shouts up the stairs “y/n, the Jager boy is here”. As you start to come down the stairs your mom gets up to go check out the new visitor “oh y/n he is handsome, good choice” Eren blushes “uh thanks Mrs.Smith”. You practically skip down the stairs and give Eren a hug at the door, Erwin can see you listened when he told you to put on a jacket over that black halter crop top but you also went ahead and changed out your jeans for a skirt. He knows that he can't say anything right now, not with your mom standing beside him, but he’s jealous. The way you have your arm wrapped around the Jager boy’s waist knowing that he’ll put his filthy hands on his little princess putting his cock where it doesn't belong. The only thing he can think to say is “have her back by 10”.
Eren’s car isn't anywhere as nice as Erwin’s but it's not like you expected it to be. Erwin is a wealthy big shot lawyer and Eren is a college intern but it feels almost weird to be so low to the ground in a car. You're parked at a scenic pull out overlooking the city. There are some picnic tables in the nearby trees but it's not the right season so you two are utterly alone in this small dirt parking lot. Eren is tapping the steering wheel nervously and stealing the occasional glance in your direction “so y/n are you sure you don't want to go and do something? We could go bowling or there's some 24 hour diners nearby”. You prop up one of your feet on the seat below you causing your skirt to ride up your thigh, Eren steals another glance this time lingering on your exposed thigh “I’m perfectly happy right here Eren” you say tilting your head in his direction. “Y/n..I dont want you to feel like i'm trying to take advantage of you” comes out in a low husky voice. You get up, placing your knees underneath you on the seat and place your hand on Eren’s arm as you slowly start to move up towards his face till your fingers grasp his jaw and turn his face towards yours “you're not taking advantage of me Eren”. You pull him into a kiss, it's different from how Erwin’s is. With Erwin it's firm and there's this sense of urgency of “don't get caught” of “this is wrong, we shouldnt do this” but Eren is gentle and warm and kisses you like it's right. His fingers nervously brush against your jaw like he’s afraid you'll break if he touches you too hard “Why don't we move to the back seat” you whisper brushing your fingers into his hair causing him to lean into your touch and eyelids shut “okay” he replies.
Eren’s shirt is off and he’s leaning over your fingers in your hair, and things feel nice of course you can feel the arousal pooling in your panties but this is no way to make a point. You move one of your hands up to his jaw pushing his head up and tilting his jaw down to look at you while the other goes to palm him through his jeans. He’s so beautiful the way the loose tendrils of hair fall against his forehead, his green eyes lids heavy with lust. Maybe you could be happy with him, you could stop fucking your stepdad and be happy having a normal relationship with an age approrait boy. But unfortunately you're a little too twisted to give up on Erwin, you know fucking someone like Eren would amount to the thrill of fucking the one man you were never supposed to touch. Your mind was made up “Eren, I want you to be rough with me” his eyes go wide “o-okay I can do that” he says. His lips meet yours again though this time rougher, he places a peck on the corner of your mouth before starting to trail down to your neck, finally about to give you what you really want “I want you to mark me Eren” you can feel his cock twitch in his pants at the words as he latches on tighter to your neck leaving wet spots that begin to darken. His hands lift off your top, breasts bouncing after being freed from the tight shirt’s confines. He gives them a squeeze before placing his mouth on the right nipple and his delicate fingers roll the left. “If you only do my neck my tits are going to feel left out Eren” he glances up before moving his mouth higher on your breast to start leaving more hickies. Your thighs are squeezing together and you can't take it anymore going to unbutton his jeans and slipping your thumbs into the waistband of his boxers pulling both down freeing his cock to slap against his stomach. His cock was much smaller than Erwin's, not tiny by any means, just not as massive, but it was pretty and veiny and the head was starting to leak. Eren’s hands move down first pulling off your skirt but then pauses to look at your grey panties and how he can see how soaked they are from your arousal. He runs his middle finger over your chlothed slit “hmm is that all for me”. “Of course who else would it be for?” you hook your thumbs under the waistband before Eren’s places his hands over yours “I wanna be the one to do it” he starts to drag them down going slowly so he can see how your arousal sticks to the undergarments before breaking. You take your hard and use your thumb to rub a bead of precum over the head. “Y/n i'm sorry I honestly didn't expect this tonight I don't have any condoms”
“Hmm its okay im on birth control” you say as you guide him by his cock to your entrance. When he makes contact he puts his arms under yours hands gripping your shoulders and burying his face in your neck as he bottoms out. His hips start to move in and out and you can feel the way the head of his dick brushes up against your sweet spot. Eren starts to pull out a little only fucking you with the first few inches stimulating your enough but leaving you begging for him to fill you up and then when you least expect it he pushes in with his full length repeating this process a few more times before you finally feel his warm cum painting your insides. Eren brings his head up and gives your cheek a wet kiss “you didnt cum did you”? “No but that's okay I still enjoyed it”. He rubs his nose against your check and whispers “nuh uh I want to make you cum too, come here”. He pulls out and sits back against the door of the car and gestures for you to come sit in between his legs. You comply leaning your head back in the crook of his neck as he places one hand on your breast and the other starts to circle your clit fingers dipping into the mess from earlier to lube up his finger “how does that feel” he whispers “i-its good” you whimper back. He has two fingers gently pumping in and out and his thumb circling around your swollen bud and your grip his thighs as you feel the tension in your stomach start to reach its breaking point before you release on his fingers adding to the wetness between your thighs. Eren wraps his arms around you and whispers “that a good girl”
It’s 10:15pm when Eren drops you back off making jokes about Erwin firing him every minute it passed 10pm and nervously glancing at the hickeys littering your neck. Before you got out he had said “I hope that wasn't just a one time thing y/n, I think I actually really like you” and you had assured him that this wasn't a one night stand and that you'd see him again. When you finally walk in Erwin was sitting in his reading chair by the door, you walk in and head right up the stairs pretending he wasn't even there. In your room you start to undress when the door opens no knocking. “What the hell did he do to you?” Erwin says grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer. He places his fingers over the dark hickies, a look that's a mix of hurt and disgust coming over his face. “Oh come on daddy you know it would be weirder if I didn't go out with your handsome little intern, and I know how you like keeping up your appearances” you smile sweetly at him. You're thinking you finally did it, you got under his skin and you were about to get what you wanted, him all to yourself when suddenly his face goes back to an almost blank expression. “You know what y/n you're right it would be strange if a girl as pretty as you were to remain single the whole time, I think this is actually a good idea”. Erwin takes his hands and brushes your hair back behind your ears and gives you a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room “goodnight princess”. You're so angry he was okay with this, with another man marking you up? It would apparently take a lot more to get under Erwin Smith's skin, you think slamming your hands down on the vanity in frustration.
Two weeks later you're with Eren in his room, him laying his head on your lap talking away while you play with his hair. “Your dad must be pretty protective of you because I swear he’s been crazy rough on me ever since I took you out that first night. I mean I thought he liked me enough since Mr.Ackerman gave me his recommendation and you know how those guys are like best buds” you start to listen more intensely than you had before “Really? My dad doesn't like to talk about work stuff that much around me I haven't heard about Mr.Ackerman”. Eren shifts up a little bit seemingly more curious “Seriously he never mentioned him? Those guys are like crazy close there was even a rumor that they were in a secret relationship but then he married your mom and Mr.Smith just really doesnt seem like the guy to fuck around on his wife” he continues “I actully really like Mr.Ackerman too he’s my sisters cousin, shes adopted so he’s not my cousin but Ive known him a while and I owe him a lot I used to make some bad choices but he kinda kicked my ass into gear and got me on the path I am now, thats why im pre-law and he even helped me get this internship”. The way Eren is looking up at you is just so sweet and filled with love and the way he’s so comfortable just telling you all this makes you feel really bad. Because while Eren’s a nice guy and all it seems like the best way to finally truly get under Erwin’s skin, enough to get what you want is to fuck this Mr.Ackerman.
#erwin x reader#erwin x y/n#eren jeager x reader#eren x you#levi x you#aot x reader#aot x y/n#aot fanfiction#aot modern au#aot
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I thought i’d write something different from what I usually do to say ‘ thank you for 400 followers ‘ I hope you like it
“ light no you can’t write my name please “
the air in the room was tense as you stood moving your weight between each foot “ light I don’t understand —whatd I do to you—please “
you felt the patience youd held for him earlier slipping out of your body as you reached out to grab his notebook “ don’t “
your hand pulled back quickly as if his voice alone was a hot pan you just touched
“ touch my book “
you shivered at his tone
“ and return back to your seat on the bed — that she placed you in“
you followed his orders as you perched yourself at the foot of the bed eyes darting across his back In fear anytime he flexed his muscles
You actually weren’t sure how you ended up here much less how he ended up with you in his care you weren’t his responsibility but what he did know was that he was pissed the fuck off with misa’s big mouth.
I mean who the hell lets their best friend know they have shinagami eyes and that they have a book they can kill people with much less tells them that their said crush has the same book
in all honestly this has to be your fault —seriously are you stupid why did you not run? he can’t even begin to think how you just agreed to any of what she told you but here you were sitting prettily on his bed alert and at attention for his next orders god your just like her he gripped his pen tightly at the thought
He couldn’t even wrap his head around why you stayed behind with him after misa left to go complete a job given to her by her ‘boyfriend’ earlier
when the two stepped out the room to speak him thinking he was giving you enough time to escape before he came back only to want to drop dead when he walked in and turned his head to your smiling face just his luck you didn’t leave now not only one could bother him but two
he got rid of one nuisance only to be greeted with another and this one was worse. body always moving and hovering around him , hands always wrapped around something that he’d have to tell you to stop touching , your mouth moving at the speed of light , he let out a scoff in his head at that one.
the only way he was able to get you to relax was for him to tell you he’d write your name in his book that you lucky for him feared. Honestly, He didn’t even know if he wanted to or not you were kinda fun to mess with and he didn’t get much fun in his life moving from college top A student to leader of a world spread killing spree
You were like a breath of fresh air to him except you were just like misa
it was like having a misa and misa jr in his room you were no different from her and you didn’t annoy him any less but he knew you were workable, he knew by the way you followed his orders like a blind puppy. You were so quick to do whatever he asked and all it took was a little threatening to get you to do it.
he studied you out of the corner of his eyes mind slowing with only one thought about how you could be easier to control than misa and who was he to resist taking the easy way out that was the point of having a partner right, to tell them to do something and they simply do it. eyebrow furrowing as he looked at you maybe just maybe
he sighed leaning back in his chair “ look”
he turned to face you hands crossed and sat neatly in his lap “ I won’t write your name if you do me a favor“
your eyes came up to meet his in a hurry a quick whiny answer leaving your lips “ yes light “
his body went hot at the way you put up no fight ‘ just like misa ‘
“ come here “ you felt your body grow cold as you neared him you didn’t have shinagami eyes or even a notebook but you could feel the cool air of something next to you head spinning at the thought of someone something watching you walk towards the male in the chair “ look at me “
your eyes found his quickly “ good girl “
you smiled softly before he spoke “ why are you smiling? who told you to smile— I can take my deal back just as fast if you don’t listen to me “
you straightened up but still shifting your weight between your other foot
“ I need you to do something for me y/n ok “
your eyes moving around jittery thanks to the new change in air
“ calm down pretty girl only you can do it that’s why i’m asking “
his voice was soft as he looked up at you “ I know you can do it “
you felt everything in your body want to tell him you could and you would do anything if he could just give you more praise you loved the way he was talking you up
the way he was building you up and setting your building blocks up to build a nice home of safety for yourself that you’d never known
Light knew exactly what he was doing even in the beginning before the book he had a way with words and as his job with killing criminals progressed and he had to get people off his tracks it just got better.
He was sure he could find anything someone wanted and give It to them to make sure they did what he wanted them to
“ y-yes light “
he smiled “ I need you to do something that’s not gonna sound well— appealing at first “
your eyes concentrated on the floor as he snapped his fingers at you to say focus seeing you looking over to your side to see what this scary feeling of someone watching you was
“ here come sit because you can’t pay attention on your own “ he spit out “ obviously “
you moved slowly to sit in the open place hed made for you on his lap “ come on y/n “
you rushed to get over there plopping your butt down on his leg like a child with a pretend santa at the mall
“ it’s gonna sound scary I know but I need you to do it ok “
“ ok “ you sat in anxiousness you just wanted him to get to the point so you could happily say ye—
“ I need you to get shinagami eyes “
your face fell as you felt all your muscles tense , mind racing , face rising in confusion and fear as your body started to grow heavy and shake you were now understanding what you got yourself into
Your feet ready to run as you looked to the door and back to the male behind you who fell back into his chair with a groan and an eyeroll hand moving down his face in obvious annoyance and hands finally coming to a rest on his chin
You taking this moment to try to run
‘ misa can have this shit I will not be partaking‘
as soon as your body stood his left arm hooked around you and he pulled you right back into his hold only to separate his legs and have you sit between em’ so he could hold your waist in a deadly hold and his mouth could whisper into your ear
“ pretty girl what happened huh “ his fingers grabbed a piece of your belly fat through your shirt in a pinch “ you’ve been demoted now — your not a good girl anymore your a bad one y/n “
he pouted “ that’s not good “ his voice sounded disappointed as you sulked “ you were doing so good for me what happened huh “
you hated how your body felt weird you felt like you’d just failed him like you owed him something and couldn’t help but to give it to him because that’s what he deserved
but all you wanted to do was get out of here you didn’t want to give him what he desevered was that wrong was he right
“ you were just gonna leave me here to myself —all by myself alone with my book of dead people ? “ he sighed as he spoke into your neck “ dont you think that would’ve made me depressed “
he questioned “ what would have happened if I did something to myself because I was depressed huh “
his grip on you tightned pressuring you into answering
“ I-I don’t know light “
“ misa would have been so mad at you she would have blamed you for my actions could you live with that huh ? could you live with losing your best friend because you left me here in pain ? in obvious hurt crying for your help?“
“ no “
“ see you have to think about things before you do them ok minx “
you just wanted to leave why couldn’t you leave ? his words weren’t helping you were just losing yourself in them and thinking that you really were a bad person for trying to get out when you did
“ think about misa y/n think about me — I — I have a family y/n “
you body slumped at the thought of you ruining a family.
him picking up on it and only feeding Into it “ I do pretty girl I have a mom , a dad who works in the police force working his ass off to provide for our family god I wanna grow up and take care of a family don’t you think I can do that “ his mouth trailed back up to your ear his fingers interlocking with yours
“ maybe with you— your a nice girl right except for when your being mean right “ he smiled at your confused and hurt expression “ I have a sister — a younger one “
you perked up you always wanted a sibling you knew they were hard to deal with but just the thought of being there for someone or even having someone be there for you misa was like that to you
“ you—you have a sister “
“ yeah — she’s so smart and talented and I would love to grow up with her and see her live her life and be at her wedding even — I wanna grow up and have my own one of those too “
he laughed “ don’t you “
“ I - I don’t know light “
“ well whatever you wanted to do i’d be right by your side y’know“ your heart warmed had anyone even paid attention to you like this before
he sighed in your ear eyes looking forward at your hands that now stuck together with his “ y/n there’s a reason i’m asking you to get the shinagami eyes — I wouldn’t just be asking without a reason “
“ what is it because if misa has them you don’t need me you just want to fuck me over so I never tell anyone about your stupid book“
“ huh so you talk when you want to huh “ thinking back to earlier when you were so submissive to him where’d this come from ? He couldn’t say he was upset just a little thrown off at your sudden ability to speak up for yourself
he sat back in his chair “ I don’t like that “ he whispered under his breath “ maybe your not like her“
he smiled speaking louder and continuing his proposal for you “ no I just need you y/n -“
you froze
“ that’s it that’s all “ he came back up both his arms crossing over your stomach “ I like you y/n “
“ no you don’t “
he laughed “ why else would I let you stay here — in my room — after your friend left ? do you think I give a fuck if she’s mad if I didn’t like you I would have killed you — i’m not keeping you alive for her “
“ then wha— “
“ I just said I like you y/n “ his voice grew rough he was getting tired of this you changed too much for his liking either you were submissive or a brat pick one “ baby pay attention “
your body stalled ‘ he really has a way with words ‘
“ look I like being around you more than misa so it would do me a favor greatly to have someone who can help me and not annoy me“
he smiled “ imagine all the fun we can have together my love — all the times we can spend talking like we are now “
you bit your lip “ I just need you to say yes and go through the process to get the shinagami eyes “
“ light I don’t even have a book if i wa—“
he smiled sickly behind you knowing his foot was in the door “ correct which is why you need a book yeah ? “
“ um yes “
he moved the chair you two sat in over to his table smiling as he found the book he had for you “ look “
“ how “ your mind raced theres for sure no turning back now there was no reason for you not to help him. He obviously needed it like he said earlier, misa liked him so what could possibly be so wrong about him, and he seemed to like you back which was only a plus
“ don’t ask me questions “ he spoke “ not until you get the eyes ok“
“ ok—o-ok “
you reached out to touch the book as you smiled at him returning what he’d shown you when you peeked down at him
“ come on pretty girl put both of them “
you thought for a moment before you gave in and put your other hand on the book blinking before you met his eyes
“ d-did I do it “
he smirked “ not quite my love — here tell me if you can see this“
he turned you around as your body froze
“ and here I was silently praying that you weren’t stupid like she was when she listened to him and gave up ownership of her death note “
#yagamilight#death note#light yagami#light yagami x you#death note fanfiction#death note fandom#L#death note x reader#death note x you#light x you#light x reader#light yagami x reader#misa#amane misa#misa x reader#misa amane#dn ryuk#death note imagines#death note drama#death note drawing#light x misa#death not fic#fic#fanfic
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self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr
so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.
i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill.
for good:
seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through
i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works
politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well
for ill:
wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone
not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby.
the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting.
for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.
one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends.
at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.
on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me.
i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness.
i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories.
i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.
tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir
p.s. fun facts about this blog:
i’ve never changed my icon or blog title
i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me.
my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)
during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books
#gloomth and circumstance#this is definitely not required reading!#i just felt like rambling for a very long time about my feelings and my blog#w bonus blog trivia at the bottom that amuses me and probably no one else
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Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz
Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.
First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!
I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao
I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall
Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!
Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”
Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!
Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)
This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....
SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot
Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p
Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN
BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone
Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow
When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..
When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR
When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….
Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….
Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO
I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!
The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…
HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!
I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end
I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…
No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.
I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake
Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually
Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak
I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.
Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..
The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound
That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute
Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.
Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)
Lastly Zen FURRY ERA
MY BEEF With the AE
I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different
HOWEVER
Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….
He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.
He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.
Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE
Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much
V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..
The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?
HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?
AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.
*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together
Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!
#Saeran Choi#Saeran AE#Saeran after ending#Saeran AE spoilers#Mystic messenger#Mysme#Saeran after ending spoilers#mystic messenger spoilers
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i need to vent abt life stuff Lol readmore bc its so so long i have no other outlets
like ok first of all i have work tomorrow 💔💔 but also the play im in rn is stressing me out so much like i am the only one 100% off book and the performance is in less than a month and theres this one girl in my cast i actually hate. like shes so horrible to be around and she makes weird comments and she stands So close to me all the time and i dislike her so much its impacting my acting (today i skipped a line bc she messed up hers and i got upset). she also is sooo self deprecating and every time i or the director (a good friend of mine which is why i cant drop out) gives her pointers to work on she just says "omg im so trash omg im such a stupid idiot loser" AND DOESNT CHANGE HER ACTIONS. like girl no one gives a shit. she also makes cancelled jokes all the time and weird like. 2016 pseudo offensive jokes too. shes legit a horrible person lol we had a holocaust survivor come in to speak and she was on her phone the Entire Time listening to music so i dont feel that bad abt disliking her :/ ive become so so mean in rehearsals i ignore her 99% of the time (she makes comments incessantly and is literally incapable of reading the room and is not funny) and i just critique the other actors all the time (im the codirector so i can do this). which is useless btw because no one listens to me even when its fucking basic acting skills like "project" and "stop fidgeting". like they should not need this much micromanaging just fucking get off book (theres only Three Scenes to memorize!!!) and learn the basics. im usually a very nice and chill person but i swear to god they do not realize that this is a Performance and not a fucking club you can just go to and then forget about??? ugh what else. also my friend has been annoying me lately bc they embarrass me a lot in public and idk how to tell them not to bc theyre like that to everyone and i just get easily embarrassed bc it makes me feel physically in pain to be embarrassed and im constantly aware of peoples opinions about me. like i know communication is the key here i just dont know how to be nice about it. by "embarrass" i mean like. theyve jokingly outed me multiple times (and i am out to Six People) and theyve also like. joked about me being seriously homophobic which people sometimes take seriously ? and they talk abt embarrassing mistakes ive made sometimes. idk. i dont mind when they do it in private but when they do it constantly in public it actually makes me feel like crying and my face gets all red. what else do i need to talk about. Speaking of friends i have no friends outside of school and even then its only like half a dozen people who have my number when everyone else in my grade either has online friends or friends from neighboring towns. like i dont hang out with people. idk it makes me sad. theres this girl i want to be friends with who used to be one of my childhood friends but idk how to go about that even though we talk sometimes and we like each other :( im too shy. im not too worried rn bc i know ill make friends in college its just upsetting now. but it does make you feel like something is wrong with you when the kids at your school have significant others and multiple friends that they bring down to the cape and you stay at home and watch movies with your mother LOL. im also sad to be growing up and i cant read the news or it makes me upset and i just sit in my room and read books and dont do my schoolwork. sigh. i need to go to bed
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how about billy and steve aren’t able to quarantine together they are at their respective homes. but no neil please he’s dead none of him billy live with his mom and the boys are struggling but they’re trying
so, basically, Billy’s mom took her with him when she left Neil.
-
pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: should we just break up?
The text made Billy’s heart stop.
He knew Steve was being weird on the phone when they talked. Whenever Steve was quiet, it meant bad.
I mean, do you WANT to?
pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: like, no, but would it be easier? do YOU want to?
Of COURSE I don’t want to.
Billy sighed, tossing his phone onto the counter, scrubbing his hands down his face.
“What’s going on, Starfish?” He looked up at his mom with one eye.
“Steve’s being insecure.” She raised an eyebrow. “I just talked to him and now he’s texting me and asking if I want to break up.” They had met in college, both joined the LGBT+ club at Chapman University, ended up working at one of the coffee shops on campus together. They had been together for just about a year, spent almost all their time together.
And then global pandemic forced Steve outta the dorms and back to Indiana while Billy packed up and headed down to his mom’s place in San Diego.
“Why do you think he’s thinking that?”
“Steve’s clingy. He likes being around people, and being touched, like just straight cuddled, and his parents are real shitty, and pretty much ignore the fact that he exists, and me not being around to like, help him out is probably really fucking with him.”
She twisted one of his curls around her finger.
“Would his parents let him come here? He could stay with us.”
“I asked him when all this shit first went down, but they’re like, really freaking out about everything and want him home. It’s the first time they’ve been home for longer six days since Steve was fourteen.” Her jaw dropped.
“Oh my God. Poor Stevie. How could a parent just, just treat their child like that?” Billy licked her hand, made her laugh loudly. He checked his phone, finding a bunch of new texts from Steve.
pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: i’m sorry. i just feel like a chore.
pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: like, i think itd be easier for you
pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: if you dont have to deal with me
pwetty boi 🥺👉👈: im sorry im bothering you
Billy sighed.
“I should probably call him. He’s spiraling pretty hard. Twenty bucks says he hasn’t taken his meds in like, a week.” His mom tried to stifle a laugh, flicking a dish towel at him. He grinned at her while he pressed the call button.
“Hi, Bill.”
“Stevie, take your fuckin’ meds.” Steve huffed into the phone. “You can’t hide from me, Pretty Boy. I know how you get.”
“But I mean, think about it. You wouldn’t have to, to call and check in on me, you could just like, live your life. Date. If you wanted to.”
“We’re in a global pandemic. I’m not gonna go out and date, even if I fuckin’ wanted to break up with you.” He put his face down on the counter. “Now I’m gonna stay right here until you take your fucking meds.”
He could hear Steve stomping around on the line, slamming things around.
“Okay, I fucking took them.”
“Good. Now listen. I love you. I don’t want to break up with you. Even being halfway across the country from you, I’m so fucking happy. And it kills me that I can’t be with you right now, that I can’t hold you and help you, but I’m still here for you.”
“I’m sorry, Bill.” Steve sniffed. “I just, I hate it here. My parents are, are just all up in my shit, and my mom hasn’t let me leave the fucking neighborhood, and I, I’m so stressed out about school, and that I’m bringing you down and I feel like a fucking burden to everyone in my life and I, I” Steve broke down into sobs.
Billy’s heart fucking shattered.
All he wanted was to climb into a shitty dorm bed with Steve, hold him nice and close until he stopped feeling like shit about himself, until he understood that Billy fucking loves him.
“I’m sorry, Honey. I’m sorry I can’t help you. I wish I could do more. I love you. You are not a burden to me. I just, I wanna fucking climb through this phone and drag you home with me.”
“Maybe, maybe I could talk to my mom about, about visiting.” Billy held the phone out to his mom, putting Steve on speaker.
“Mom, tell Steve he can move in with us until it’s safe again.” She laughed lightly, taking the phone.
“Hi, Pumpkin. You are more than welcome here with us. Billy’s has been gardening up a storm. We’ve been giving away tomatoes to all the neighbors.” Steve laughed, it still sounded kinda wet.
“That sounds like heaven, ma’am.” She smiled warmly at Billy.
“Have Starfish send you my phone number, I can speak with your parents if you like. We’ve been very safe here. I’ve been sewing masks and giving them to all our friends as well.”
“I mean, I’ve been so miserable here, maybe, they might let me. I think my dad wouldn’t mind not having to deal with me anymore.” His mom pursed her lips at that. “I asked him for help with one of my classes, because apparently I forgot that he sucks, and he just told me I was an idiot for like, twenty minutes.”
She threw her rag down, her mouth all scrunched up.
“Baby, get the fuck out of that house. Come out here and hang out with me and my mom. We’ll help you with your work and won’t call you shitty names the whole time.”
“I don’t know, I am really fucking stup-”
“If you finish that fucking sentence, I swear to God, Steve.”
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. Have your mom call my mom to set up our play date. We can have you quarantine in the guest room for a while after traveling.”
“Okay. Thank you, Bill.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
-
Billy was driving slowly through the pick up line.
They had a whole plan of attack. Steve had put on a pair of latex gloves, and would put his bags in the trunk and then sit in the back seat.
Billy was gonna take him home, and he was gonna shower while Billy tossed his traveled in clothes in the laundry.
He saw Steve standing there, his big duffel bag slumped next to his large suitcase.
He was in a mask, but waved giddily at Billy in his mom’s car.
They executed the plan flawlessly, and before they knew it, they were making out in the guest room of Billy’s little house.
His mom knocked on the door.
Steve rolled off of him sheepishly.
“You can come in.”
“Are you sure?” Billy rolled his eyes.
“Yes, I’m sure, Mom.” She winked at him when she came in.
She hugged Steve tight, and Billy’s heart fucking soared as Steve melted into the hug.
“I’m so glad you could come out here. It’s wonderful to meet you.”
She smelled like fresh bread and lilies. Steve loved it.
“It’s nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Hargrove.”
“Oh please, call me Beth.” She pulled away from the hug. “Sweet Thing, come help me set the table. Let Steve get his bearings.” Steve was grinning.
“Billy calls me Sweet Thing.”
“Well, he comes from a long line of nicknamers, so you better get used to it, Sugar.” Billy kissed him on the cheek as he followed his mom out.
Steve still has no idea what Beth said to his mother to convince her to send Steve out to San Diego for the foreseeable future.
But somehow, she had made it work, and he wasn’t gonna be alone, or with cold parents that called him names, wasn’t gonna have to cry himself to sleep, not when he could sneak into Billy’s cozy little room.
He could garden with Billy, and Billy said he’d teach him how to skateboard, take him on bike rides around town.
They would cook, and Billy would help him finish the semester online, and the weather was warm and-
And Billy loved him.
Loved him so much he convinced his parents to let him fly across the country to live with him.
Steve had never been loved like this before.
And he was gonna fucking cherish it.
#this was originally much sadder#but 🤷♀️#another one from way down the req list#steve harrington#billy hargrove#steve harrington x billy hargrove#billy hargrove x steve harrington#harringrove#harringrove fic#harringrove ficlet#harringrove drabble#yikes writes
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For the Sake of content- Chapter 10
Chapter 10- Uncertainty and the Test of Time.
Summary: After walking in on your long-term boyfriend, Harrison, cheating on you and then losing your job the following day; your find yourself broke, jobless, and single for the first time in a long while. In order to make ends meet, your best friend since college, Freddie, suggests you start soliciting explicit photos of yourself, not only to help boost your confidence but to help pay the rent for his band mate’s apartment you just moved into.
A/N: Hi friends! I know this took me forever but honestly this chapter hit a little too close to home for me to begin to feel comfortable writing. But today I finally worked up the courage to write it and oh boy let me tell you it is SAD. But dont worry this fic will have a happy ending! Also if you can figure out the era of Roger I am transitioning too bonus points to you! Sorry it is so short, it was difficult for me to write this emotionally and took a lot out of me.
Pairing: Roger Taylor x F!Reader
Warnings: Language, ANGST, longing, just a lot of sad feels, (dont worry there will be a happy ending), Mentions of smut but no actual smut in this chapter, alcohol mentions, not proof read
Word Count: 1.9k
The following morning you woke up, your sinuses feeling gummy and throat dry.
Glancing at the clock you made a mental note of the time, much too late for you to still be in bed. Your stomach clenched when you heard the door open and despite want to stay in the warm cocoon of your bed you felt yourself moving on your own. The sudden urge to see Roger flooded over your body and you shuffled out the bedroom, quickly thinking of some excuse you could make to be out here with him. Fluidly you moved to the kitchen and poured yourself a glass of water out of the tap.
“Hey.” You said setting your cup down and watching him set his keys on the kitchen table.
He grinned up at you “Hey,” he responded back. Your gaze watched him as he moved through the house with out much of a second thought before he retreated to his room, “Hey I’m going to be gone for a few days.” His muffled voice called.
“Where are you going to be?” You called back sitting on the kitchen table. You didn’t know if your stomach hurt from being hungry or from what you knew Roger’s answer was going to be.
He came out with a backpack slung over his shoulder “Oh, I’m going to stay at Dominique’s for a little while.”
You pursed your lips and nodded your head, “Oh, well have fun.” You said flashing him a closed mouth smile.
He didn’t give you a second glance before leaving the house.
Your heart clenched, why would you be so upset over your friend leaving for a few days? Roger had his own life and you needed to respect that. Those thought played over and over in your brain for the remainder of the day and it seemed like no matter how often you thought them they never seemed to get through to you and the more you felt nauseous.
You didn’t know how many days passed until Fred had showed up pounding on your door.
You opened it and were immediately met with a grimace “You look like you haven’t left your bed in three days.” He said pushing his way past you and letting himself in to your ‘shared’ apartment.
“Well how many days has it been since Sunday?” You asked rubbing your tired and slightly swollen eyes.
“Three.” Fred said pointedly.
You plopped on the couch, “Well then you’re right.”
Your friend’s eyes narrowed as he looked at you, “What do you mean I’m right?” He said sitting next to you, “What’s got you in a funk?”
You felt his intense gaze as you averted your eyes from him, looking down at your feet and playing with the hem of your shirt. “It’s nothing.” You responded before letting out deep sigh. “What brings you over?” You asked lightly slapping your hands on your thighs.
Fred gave you a weird look, his brow eyes intently taking in every bit of your body language, “I you haven’t talked to anyone since Saturday night.” He said a light frown gracing his sharp features.
You shifted awkwardly, “Wow, crazy,” you remember your phone, sitting on your nightstand and on do not disturb, “Are you sure?” you asked knowing the answer.
Fred stood up, “Get up.” He said grabbing your limp arm and tugging you reluctantly to your feet, “Go shower and then we’ll continue talking.” He said pushing you towards the bathroom not caring you had no change of clothes.
The bathroom door shut behind you and you looked in the mirror, you really did look like shit. Your skin looked dry and dark bags hung under your eyes and your hair looked dirty. You frowned and turned the water on hot, as hot as it could go, undressed and stepped in.
The hot water soaked your body and burnt your skin, yet it didn’t hurt; it felt strangely cathartic. You inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, feeling tears beginning to well in your eyes. You covered your face with your hand and a sob wrecked through you, shaking your body and causing you to lean forward.
Your shoulders shook with sobs and your tears mixed with the water, washing away the evidence of your crying. You tried your best to curb your sobs but choked them out anyways. It hurt. Knowing Roger had sex with you and dropped you the moment he saw someone better come along. Like always, you were second best.
Your brain processed what had happened in the last few months of your life. Walking in on your boyfriend Harrison, breaking up with him, moving in with Roger, becoming a cam girl, having sex with Roger a lot, sharing soft intimate moments with him, and now sitting here on the floor of your shower crying with your knees into your chest as the cold water ran out.
This was a new low moment to say the least.
A knock on the door shook you from your endless thoughts, you sniffed and rubbed your face before standing up, “What?” You called back.
“What’s taking you so long? There’s no way you still have hot water.” Fred shouted back.
He was right, you didn’t and you hadn’t even started washing yourself. You suffered through the cold water and washed your hair and body, cleaning it of the filth and emotions.
As soon as you had your towel wrapped around you Fred opened the door and tossed a bottle of his nice moisturizer at you, “You always feel better after you moisturize.” He said and shut the door one again.
He was right, your skin looked dewy and no longer crusted with sleep and sweat. You felt clean like a breath of fresh air, but your mind continued to remind you of how alone you were in this apartment. The two of you sat on your couch once again, this time you were clean and in fresh clothes.
Freddie splayed his hands on his pants, “So,” He started out, “When were you going tell me that you and Roger have been sleeping together?”
You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you “What are you talking about?” You asked trying to hide your nerves.
“I saw a picture. I know what the both of you look like naked it isn’t hard to tell.”
Heat crept up the back of your neck and spread from your face to the tips of your ears and your mouth opened and closed as you tried to find your words, “Is that what this is all about?” Freddie asked maintaining his intense gaze.
You averted your gaze from his and stared hard at the floor. Fred grabbed you and forced you look at him, “Listen, [Y/N], Dominique is a manipulative witch that knows how to wrap Roger around her finger” You stared into his intense brown eyes, “She doesn’t have shit on you and never will.” He let go of your face and you didn’t move, “She sweeps in and sinks her dirty claws into Roger’ soft heart and takes advantage of him.” He picked some lint off his pants and paused before he continued, “No one likes her.” He added.
You took Freddie’s words to heart, he seemed genuine and you had already learned previously that Dom was not well liked among the boys. At the end of the week Roger returned, presumably to get a new bag of clothes.
To say you were shocked to see him was honestly an understatement. You gaped at him when he walked through the door “What the fuck happened to your hair?” You asked looking at him.
His long choppy hair was now short and wild on his head, Roger rushed past you, “Do you like it? Dominique said it looked better this way.” He said moving to his room.
You couldn’t help but follow him and lean on his doorway, “Dominique told you to cut your hair short so you did?” your voice was laced with disbelief.
Roger glanced back and you and nodded his head, “Yeah.”
You rubbed your face with your hand, “Do you know how insane that sounds? She is literally telling you how to dress, Roger.” You frowned deeply, “What happened to changing your clothes three times a day and not wearing the same pair of shoes every week, or waking up an two hours before you need to open the store to style your hair.”
Roger didn’t look back at you and continued to stuff clothes into his duffle bag, “I know, but that isn’t efficient.”
An audible scoff left your mouth, “Efficient?” You gaped at him, “Since when did you care about efficiency?”
Roger’s head whipped towards you, “Since when did you care about what I do with my life?” He said, a nasty tone dripping from his words.
You didn’t like this. Not one bit. “What is that supposed to mean?” You asked following with your arms crossed over your chest.
Roger turned on his heel and looked at you, “It is supposed to mean that you shouldn’t care about the other women in my life.”
You clenched your fists, “Roger, Dominique doesn’t care about you and by the end of next week you’ll be back here sulking in your room and bitter like you first were.”
Roger clenched his teeth, his blue eyes now ignited with fire, “Why do you care? We aren’t together and we never were. Get over it.” He hissed before slamming the door behind him.
Your stomach tightened as his words as they rammed into you like a truck. Your mind flashed back to the moments to intimate to be just sex.
Roger cupped your face as you clung to him, your body trembling as he leaned against your headboard with you on his lap. He kissed your face, your nose, eyes, and cheeks. “God, you are so fucking beautiful.” He said pressing his lips fully against yours as the two of you clung to each other.
---
You laid your head in Roger’s lap as the two of you laid across the couch while some shitty movie played in the background. You had a bowl of popcorn in your lap and threw pieces as Roger tried to catch them, every time he missed, they would lightly plop on your face. You didn’t care about the salty butter dirtying your skin. Roger awkwardly craned his head down, his long dyed hair framing the sides of your face and tickling the skin. Your nose scrunched and Roger laughed softly before kissing the tip of your nose.
---
Another night at the bar, spent dancing until it was either very early or very late. The two of you clung to each other with an arm wrapped around the other’s waist, your steps swaying and causing the two of you to stumble and laugh.
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The first time Roger slept in your bed; you woke up to his already wild hair looking now untamable while soft snores left slightly ajar mouth. You brushed his hair back and he pulled you into his chest as he kissed your shoulder and buried his face into your back.
These moments were far too intimate to be just sex or to be just two friends. Your brain felt muddied; did he not feel the same? Did he still think of this as a business arrangement?
You felt dizzy from all of the questions that flooded your brain and soon began to feel helpless.
If Freddie was right, Roger would be back within the next week saying ‘you were right [y/n]’
But until then, your feelings could only stand against the test of time and uncertainty.
#roger taylor#roger taylor smut#roger taylor x reader#ben hardy!roger taylor#ben hardy!roger taylor x reader#queen x reader#queen smut#queen series#roger taylor series#roger taylor blurb
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I’m here pt 1
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A/n: Hey guys, sorry for my absence, i just got a new job and trying to wrap my head around the fact the I’m apparently bipolar lol which explains a lot but anyways, I hope you enjoy part one, and have a wonder day.
Request: Hello there! I was wondering if you would do a Quil Ateara imagine of series??? :) Oh and you can pick how she’s shifts into a wolf!! :)) -x
Quil Ateara x shifter reader
Warning:loss of parent
Word count:746
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Graduate High school, go to college, become a tech genius to be the next Steve Jobs, make billions of dollars, and live the rest of your life on a private island in a mansion with food and 3 rooms dedicated to books. That was your plan for how you wanted your life to go, was that too much to ask for? NO…...well, maybe just a bit, ya know what, shut up, no one asked.
As much as your heart yearned for the lack of people and the excessive amount of books you wanted to have for years before you actually read them and only read because a movie of the book was coming out, life obviously had other plans for you, especially being a clearwater.
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Becoming the next Steve Jobs wasn’t going to be easy but you were willing to do whatever it took to get there, you just need to take the first step. Today's first step happened to be getting out of bed, and your legs seemed to have gone on strike because you could not get yourself out of bed.
‘Okay I need to get up, it's almost 2pm’ ‘I understand that but I dont want to’ ‘I need to though’ ‘fuuuuuuccckkkkk’ scrunching your eyes you sat up, for the hundredth time, and sat at the end of your bed staring at the door. Still not feeling like actually walking, you opted for sitting on the floor and scooting towards it. This process continued till you scooted across the hallway and slid down the stairs. Seth-already knowing what was happening-helped drag you to the kitchen.
Sitting in the kitchen while your mom sat at the table, you made lite conversation for a bit as dinner cooked on the table, you would offer to help but somehow you always manage to burn and or mess up food, even if it's almost done.
The door opened and closed with a loud slam.
Sharing a quick look with your mom, Leah walked in and immediately started raging about Sam, again, for what feels like the millionth time this week. Honestly couldnt blame her though, she recently got broken up with by her High school sweetheart, Sam Uley who being an absolute terd then decided to persue our cousin Emily, like, immediately after they broke up. Obviously we all expected her to reject them, but not even a month later, they’re acting like they’re married. Its kinda weird, not gonna lie, like I love my cousin, but what the fuck.
Anyways, ever since then, Leah decided that not only was she going to show everyone how well she was handling the situation, she was going to make everyone feel exactly the same way she is. I love being able to feel the pain and heartbreak in a relationship I wasn’t a part of. Sarcasm aside, I really do feel bad for her and what she's going through, but therapy works better than just making everyone else as miserable as you are.
All your mom could really do was hug her, Leah was far past spoken condolences.
Setting up the table, with an empty place that awaited to be filled by your father, you, your brother, and mom went on to talk about anything under the sun with your sister chiming in every now and then. We talked about school, work, and then dad and his hunting trip with Charlie Swan.
“Speaking of which I thought he was supposed to be home by no-” Getting cut off by the home phone, mom went to answer it after seeing it was La Push hospital, and the next thing we know she's on the ground crying.
Through hiccups and tears, she choked out that dad had a heart attack on his trip.
He was dead.
We all stood frozen, shocked and grief stricken. Suddenly Leah hunched over in pain, trembling and shaking like crazy.
“Lea-” before you could go over to her, it sounded as if something was...ripping? And then, as if she exploded, Leah was soon replaced by a silver wolf the size of a bear, then the same ripping sound, and another smaller russet wolf stood in the place of your brother.
Having seen Seth and Leah explode into giant wolves with the added pain of the loss of your dad, it all became too much, and soon, all you saw was black.
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A/n: I hope you enjoyed, and again I’m really sorry for my absence!
Taglist: @fangirlanotherjust @kettnerjanea @dillybuggg @its-la-push @britty443 @stylesluxx @ri-wantstorunaway @cncogirl18
#quileute#twilight x reader#twilight imagine#twilight fanfiction#twilight#wolfpack x reader#wolfpack#wolf pack imagine#quil ateara#quil ateara x reader#quil ateara imagine
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