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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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jestercard · 2 years

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OC’s my friends have that i like a lot !!

i saw elliot made a list about it’s favourite wordgirl characters but i haven’t watched it all SOO i wanted to do it w their and zeke’s ocs !!!!!!!!?!??! 😈

FAV OCS FROM ELLIOT

5. SIR SUNDAE HIS LORE IS SO GOOD AND HIS DESIGN IS MY FAVOURITE I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH HE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST OCS ELLIOT SHOWED ME JE ALWAYS HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART I LUV U SIR SUNDAE

4. VIN SMOKES. HIS DESIGN IS IMMACULATE, I REMEMBER ELLIOT MADE INSIDE JOB OCS WHEN IT WAS TRENDING AND VIN JUST STUCK W ME. HES SO PRETTY, AND HIS STORY ELLIOT MADE IS SO COOL ????

3. CHERRY FIZ OH MY GOD I LOVE HER I WANT TO KISS HER MARRY HER WIFE HER UP SHES SUCH A SWEETIE PIE HER DESIGN IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE OUT OF ALL OF THEM ???! PINKIE PIR VIBES

2. VIXIE/CROW I LITERALLY CANT PICK BOTH OF THEIR LORES SO GOOOD UGH OH MY GOD. THEY HABE SO MUCH ANGST IM ADDICTED, I DO LOVE VIXIES DESIGN MORE THOUGH AND I LOVE HER WHOLE ZOMBIE-THING AND HER RELATIONSHIP WITH XUKEUS AND CROW IS JUST SELF EXPLANATORY I LOVE ME SOME ENEMIES TO LOVERS ❤️ 💕

1. THE ENCHANTED HIMSELF!!! OH. MY. LORDY LORD. WHAT A FINE ASS MF HE IS, HIS LORE IS SO GOOD AND HES SO PRETTY AND FUNNY ESPECIALLY PERSONALITY SWAP TE HES HILARIOUS I LOVE INTERACTING WITH HIM HES SUCH A PERSONAL COMFORT TO MEEE AHHHH ❤️ 😭

FAV OCS FROM ZEKE

5. TEDDY !! HES EASY TO FORGET BUT HE JUST HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART HES SO CUTE AND SKRUNKLY. HES JUST A LITTLE LAD

4. WENHUU IS AN ABSOLUTE GIRLBOSS JOT ONLY IS SHE SUCH A SUPPORTIVE GIRLFRIEND SHES SO RELATABLE AND FUNNY I HAVE A BLAST RP’ING W HER AND ARI I WISH I HAD MORE TIME IN THE DAY TO RP I MISS THEM SM ZEKE IF UR READING THIS REMIND ME OK??! 🐺

3. TANJIROUU AND KETSUEKI ARE SUCH A CUTE BROTHER DUO, TANJIROU SITTING BACK AND WATCHING HIS OLDER BROTHER EMBARASS HIMSELF GOT ME 😭 ❤️

2. CHITOSE. LISTEN ……… LISTEN …… HE MAY BE A WOMANISER AND A LITTLE MF BUT HES MY BABY I WILL DEFEND HIM W MY LIFE HES SO FUNNY 😭

1. DRUM ROLL PLEASE !!!!!! 🥁 🥁 🥁 ELIZABETH/KYUNGSOO MY DARLING MY BLISS MY LOVE MY PRIDE AND JOY I LOVE WHEN OCS LINK BACKSTORIES AND I LOVE HER CHARACTER AND HER ARC AND I MAY OR MAY NOT KIN HER HAHEHSJESJE ❤️ LIZZYBIZZYMCGLISSY SUPREMACY

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patrocles · 3 years

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theon joins the nights watch and satin arrives shortly after and theon begins a one-sided rivalry about Who The Prettiest Boy In School Is, but satin’s literally just minding his business

when theon learns that satin is at the very least not-straight, he becomes incredibly jealous but also deeply obsessed with satin in both a “please be my best friend” and also “get out of my school” kinda way. again, satin’s literally just minding his business during theon’s internal crises.

theons also stupid and repressed and thinks satin’s his therapist and should have all the answers to theon’s inner turmoil. but will also call him slurs when the other lads are around.

satin makes a joke like, “well if im gonna listen to you whinge about how ur daddy didnt like you and that’s why you dream about men then you better pay me” sarcastically cus they have no money here. theon comes back with his precious leather gloves like “so AS I WAS SAYING, he didnt even like my cloak and like totally embarassed me in front of asha can you believe”

and satins sitting listening to this stupid fruit, realizing he’s gotta deal with this for life like

#this is literally just to make myself laugh cus i had a bad day #but the rivalry is Back On when jon chooses satin to be his steward and theons like 'am i not pretty enough :('#no u idiot u killed his brothers and burned his house downa ksfljakl #asoiaf

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tscmu · 4 years

Text

first dates with haikyuu boys :)

pt 1. - msby black jackals

genre; kinda fluff idk?? just kinda cute early relationship tings

warnings; secondhand embarassment, lil suggestive comments ( from atsumu who am i kidding )

characters; bokuto, atsumu, hinata + sakusa

all characters r timeskip and 18+ !!

koutarou bokuto

- bruh youd be terrified for this date like.. a guy youve hardly spoken to with a massive personality asking you to meet him at a tiny cafe.. ok

- hed love tiny cafes though like the ones nobody are in so its just you two.. AWH

- dates wouldnt be a massive thing to him so youd be dressed up casual formal with light makeup on and hed strut off the bus in his kit literally sweating, just left practice and youd be like 😳

- you wouldve met him at a club like a week back when you were both off your faces and youd wake up the next morning with no idea what happened the night before, just like 10 texts from someone with the contact name ‘BokJUt OWks MAn’ asking you on a date.. why wouldnt u say yeah??

- it would go rly well !!

- i think itd be a bit slow at first, like youre both describing your lives when.. it happens

- youre both just aimlessly chatting, both tuning in and out of conversation waiting for the food to come when.. you hear it. the thing that you did that you thought NOBODY else did. and he does it.

- “and one of my roommates tsumu always yells at me because i collect stamps-” “WAIT YOU COLLECT STAMPS?? ME TOO BRUH”

- youd both have a joint aneurysm literally

- after that youd be infatuated with eachother ITD BE SO CUTE

- youd get the bill both like a lil tipsy, heading further into the town to just go window shopping in the moonlight

- UWUWUWUWUWUWU pls

- then hed accidentally set off the jewellery shop alarm pointing at a pretty ring and poking the glass too hard-

- when your taxi came he’d be really sad.. then as you close the door hed just jump in and find his own way home HAHAHA

- 10/10 date would do again.. and you did

atsumu miya

- oh you would be EXCITED

- until you found out his suggestion.. one of his own fucking games

- you just cut it down to the fact that he was a personal volleyball player, he was probably busy, yk?? but no it was because he wanted to show off to you🙄🙄

- you met him on the street like he literally picked you up on the street.. only he yall only he

- well of course you liked him have you seen him

- you exchanged numbers and were texting for like a week ( where he just begged you to come to a game ) before finally you said ok

- because its a date you didnt wanna bring along someone else so you just kinda showed up on your own and followed the crowd.. before finding out you were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE COURT

- he teased you about this for years to come and you wanted to burst out crying every time

- after finally finding the right seat on the RIGHT SIDE, the players came out and.. lets say you were surprised

- you didnt know that much about volleyball beforehand but.. d a m n

- those uniforms were hot😳😳

- the game went well and they won ( to his extreme happiness ), and then you finally got to meet him again

- it was subtle at first, like while he was signing shirts hed look over his shoulder and wink or something lmao

- thats until hinata and bokuto got to the area you were at and went feral, killing tsumus whole vibe HAHA

- “OH SHIT THATS THE GIRL HE INVITED!!” “WAIT IS IT- OH HI Y/N!! HES BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU FOR AGES HE EVEN JE-” “BRO FUCK OFF”

- to which you just laughed your head off about

- bro he gave you a kiss on the cheek when he walked over making all the fangirls go absolutely feral.. twitter talked abt it for AGES even after you revealed you were dating 2 months after it happened

- you had to wait around for HOURS whilst he talked to interviewers.. struggles of being famous🥶‼🔥

- but it was worth it ofc

- he took you out to this lil restaurant when he finally got away and even walked u home.. such a gentleman damn

- “so when can i see you again.. and maybe a bit more ;)” “sHUT UP-”

- lets just say u definitely did that again-

shoyo hinata

- oh my god hed be more nervous than you were

- hed overdress like.. not full suit but pretty damn close

- i feel like hed not be that focused on women?? the volleyball grind comes first yk

- but when he made eye contact w you across the meeting table.. jeez he went feral

- bro when he was asked a question he couldn’t function you were just like ??

- atsumu basically had to ask you out for him after it finished he was so nervous HAHA

- you called him cute when he pulled up and he genuinely turned into a tomato like.. ushijima would farm him if he saw him

- hed book you a table at this really fancy restaurant ( with a lil financial help from kenma ) and you were genuinely shocked lmao

- i feel like youd work with the jackals as like a promoter or sumn and hed just be shocked.. like he didnt know you even existed bruh??

- because of that hed be pretending hed had his eye on you for a while ( to which you just laughed knowing he was trying to be cool )

- hed tell you to order something expensive but you knew how much those guys got paid.. yeah no.

- but hed warm up MASSIVELY like by the end of it after a glass and a bit of wine youd both be like peas in a pod literally

- youd go for a lil walk around the city centre before u found a taxi.. HED BE SO SAD LIKE HE DIDNT WANT IT TO END??

- hed go in for the kiss i know he would

- youd be like ??? but kiss him back bc why wouldnt u hes a baby

- best date you’d had in a couple years by far

kiyoomi sakusa

- you literally wouldnt realise it was a date until the end i stg this man

- hed deadass show up to ur door and be like ‘cmon’ and youd be like EXCUSE ME SIR-

- i feel like you wouldve known eachother for at LEAST a couple months

- and he wouldve just done NOTHING like you didnt even know he felt a romantic connection to you

- but trust me he did

- he just didnt know the words to say :(

- but this is what the lads told him to do LMAO

- before u knew what was happening you were in the backseat of a taxi and he was telling them a street in the middle of the city-

- “oh we’re going out to dinner” “wha- i didnt bring my purse tho-” “eh.” literally

- you were kinda surprised because you knew how much he hated crowds and dinner in the city seemed unlike him, more like something you would enjoy

- but thats exactly why he did it

- youd pull up and do a double take when he was asking for a table.. WHO THE FUCK WAS SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT

- however after being motioned to shut up by atsumu you acted like you saw nothing

- it was just like the other times youd hung out but he was a little more.. interested in you

- not like suggestive, he just genuinely was asking about like how your day was, etc IT WAS CUTE AS HELL

- it was at that point you realised oh shit, this might be a date-

- when it was over you suggested going into the city and looking in shops for a bit, but the restaurant filled with people was enough for him lmao

- you got a taxi back and were standing outside your apartment door when he did something hed never done before

- MANS HUGGED YOU

- it was then you realised.. did he actually like you??

- spoiler he did

- and things were different between you ever since IM UWUING PLS

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thinger-strang · 3 years

Note

5, 16 and 35?🌸💕

hiya love 😚

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

honestly im just extremely proud of myself for actually finishing and posting fics period! i cant think of one single fic that im like overly proud of, i kinda like them all equally?

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

i keep wanting to answer this for the fics i read FOR WRITING idbcjsnjf i hace like three or four different wips that have the lads proposing at the same time to each other? i just think its cute lol (which idk if that counts as a "guilty pleasure" bc its not like embarassing or something i feel guilty about?)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

oh god okay i have like 60 harringrove wips right now? like i just keep getting ideas and cant finish them before i get a new idea so the old ones are just squished down to make room for the newer ones :( but once i figure out how to finish fics its over for you bitches

#rambles

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faunahudson · 3 years

Text

love in a bottle | sauna

WHO: Sawyer Hudson and Fauna Hudson - @sawyer-hudson

WHEN: 14th of February

WHERE: Hudson Apartment and the Beach

WHAT: Sawyer and Fauna do a cute valentines gift exchange

WARNINGS: too much cute

Though not their first Valentine’s Day together, Sawyer wanted their first one as as claimed couple to be as special as he could. Admittedly, he got this idea from TikTok, and fully knowing Fauna would have seen it, made sure to have a back-up surprise for her. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” He greeted her when she came back from her workout with Alexis, a peck on her lips. “Fancy walking Bingley on the beach? Show off our amazing loving family?”

Fauna had never liked Valentine’s Day before Sawyer, usually she’d just bought a Tesco’s box of chocolate coated strawberries, watched Pride and Prejudice and called it a night. But now she couldn’t help but love the cheesy movies, the heart shaped balloons and the over large stuffed animals. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” She responded happily, unable to stop herself from stealing a second peck. “I’d love to handsome, let me just change my hoodie. You mind getting our precious son ready to go?”

He laughed against her lips. "I'm sorry, who's hoodie?" He asked teasingly, pinching the familiar material momentarily, before letting go. "Of course, take your time." Sawyer said, stroking her hair and pressing a kiss against it, leaving the room to come face to face with Bingley, sitting up excitedly as if he already knew something good was happening today. "Hey buddy, c'mon, shall we go to the beach?" Sawyer asked in his 'dog-dad' voice, grinning when Bingley barked back as if to say yes. Once they were ready and waiting for Fauna, he scooped up the large dog as if he were a small puppy. "You think I can sneak you into the Valentine's Day party tonight?" He asked him, who whined in response. "Maybe dress you like a little cupid? You'll be stealing hearts if I do that."

“Oh yes.. Our hoodie.” Fauna responded with a wink. “I’m always telling you Sir, you’re more than welcome to borrow my clothes.” The little brunette teased before slipping back into their room. She ended up stripping off all of her clothes when she got through, deciding she looked like a sweaty mess. Trading them in for a fresh sports bra, his HUDSON hoodie from high school and some leggings. She leaned against the door watching him momentarily with their dog. “God you two are cute? You sure you don’t want to just spend valentines together?” She teased lightly.

“If you wanted me in a little crop top and skirt you should have dressed me that way for Switch Week,” Sawyer had teased in response. He let out a low whistle at the image of her in his high school hoodie, an affectionate grin on his face at how much she drowned in it. “I mean as amazing as a date Bingley would be,” He said, “I also think he’d get too overexcited at the chocolates being passed around campus today and we don’t want an emergency trip to the vet do we buddy?” He asked the dog who just barked in response, wiggling to indicate he wished to be released. Sawyer set him down and he raced towards Fauna, almost toppling her over with the sheer strength he had. “Hey buddy calm down we don’t walk you knocking your mom over,” He warned lightly, before reaching over to Fauna, planting a kiss on her cheek as he steadied her from being knocked off her feet by their dog.

Fauna giggled when he whistled at her as he spotted her. “If you like this you should see what I’ve got planned for later.” She told him thinking of the heart covered lingerie set and cute valentines dress she had tucked away. His affectionate worrying about Bingley made her smile even softer. “No your Mom would like to avoid taking you to the vet for anything but check ups.” She agreed, bracing herself a little as the dog raced over to her, running her fingers over his silky ears. Grateful when he steadied her. “Bingley is the only soul alive I wouldn’t be jealous of if you took them as a date.” She told him as they headed for the beach. “Otherwise it would be a trip to mermaid lagoon im afraid.”

"I can't wait to to see it," Sawyer promised her, "Honestly I'm...intrigued by this party. What can be done with a unlimited amount of money the hostess has." He didn't know Sugar all that well, but from her brief stint dating Finn, and her interactions in general, she tended to just throw money around without a care in the world, Even with his own new-found wealth, Sawyer and Fauna knew how to budget, and did their ball with a spending limit, so he was interested in what a party with no budget would look like. He let out a sigh when the hard concrete of the path turned into the soft sand these beaches were famous for, and he took a moment to appreciate how lucky he got, how amazing his life was. He laughed at Fauna's threat, pulling her in closely. "You know I wouldn't be able to stand by as you took various prospects under, so maybe be a bit more sneaky." He said with a wink.

Fauna nodded. “I’m beyond hype to go to this Sugar Motta party, girl bought a lemon farm on a whim.. I’m sorta imagining giant heart cookies like the one from bridesmaids.” She explained, squeezing his hand just a little as they reached the beach in their secret message to one another. Giggling just a little as he pulled her into his side. “Oh Sir.. you don’t think I’d be silly enough to tell you where I was going.” The little submissive smiled. “I’d take the Wendy Bird or Lad somewhere nice and quiet to drown them. Then I’d come home and tell you how handsome you were and just how much I loved you.” She declared. “Honestly though, I’m so lucky to have you and not have to share you.”

Sawyer laughed. “I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was more of an Alice in Wonderland, Queen of Hearts situation.” He said, imagining everywhere having a love heart caricature placed on it somehow, including warped furniture shaped like it. “It’ll be nice though, and it’s good that Rory and Finn have a gig too.” He mentioned. As much as he enjoyed teasing her about her willingness to do whatever it took to keep Sawyer to herself, the Dominant knew he’d do the same for Fauna. The idea of anyone else having her saddened him, and he felt comfort that they were on similar wavelengths. “I’m so lucky not to have to share you either, we’re Fauna-and-Sawyer, there’s no want, need or space for a third party.” He squeezed her hand back. “Wanna bet who’s faster catching a frisbee, you or Bingley?” He then asked, grabbing the plastic disc out of the backpack he carefully put together late last night.

Fauna made a little hum of interest. “I mean I would like to see that, especially if they had a variety of jam filled cakes and treats. I love strawberry jam.” She said hopefully, as she pictured playing cards dangling from the ceiling and Sugar in a large gold crown. “It is good, it always makes me happy when someone gives them a gig. DFS is one of Rorys big passions and.. well... I always like to see him up and doing something he enjoys.” The little brunette replied, he probably didn’t realise just how much she enjoyed his little confirmation that he only ever wanted her. That she was more than enough. “Nope, just you and me forever oh love of mine. Besides there’s no room in the bed now that Bingley keeps trying to sleep in between us. I woke up to get a glass of water the other night and he had his paws on my shoulders.” She giggled, and then glanced at the frisbee forever competitive even with the dog. “I mean he has stronger legs.. so he has an unfair advantage.”

"Are you hinting at wanting some strawberry jam?" Sawyer asked with a large smile, "Because I'm sure there's like...an ocean-side café somewhere that does the whole British afternoon tea thing with strawberry jam and scones," He pointed out, gesturing a bit further up the beach,"and I think there could be an outdoor table if we schmooze enough on this fine day of St. Valentine." "The band's really good, and if they're wanting to take it to the next level, it's perfect exposure for them." The Dominant agreed, pouting at the dog as Fauna describe their sleeping arrangements, "He's very affectionate, but he's the laziest pup known to man, his whining when I take him out on a morning is reminiscent of having to get you up for your workouts with Alexis." He alaughed, "I think you stand a fair chance against him," Sawyer disagreed, "Even if you don't, he likes to be chased." And with that he flung the frisbee down the beach. "Fetch!" He called out with a laugh.

“I mean I wasn’t.. it was more of just a stream of consciousness.. but now that you mention it that sounds so cute Sir!” The submissive responded excitedly, skipping just a little at the thought of getting to sit in a little ocean side cafe with him having a cream tea. “I’m sure that with the power of our love and a small green tip we can make it happen. I’ll show you the proper order for putting the jam and cream on your scone.” Fauna responded excitedly, thinking that she would also insist on cutting his scones into heart shapes. “He’s just a baby, he can’t help being tired!! He needs his sleep.” The brunette defended, reaching down with a little hand to pet over their dogs head again. “Hmm. Well yes he does like to be chased.” She agreed, and then took off down the beach after the frisbee. Bingley chased enthusiastically out in front, and got there long before her.

Sawyer laughed, "I'd hope so, I wouldn't want to embarass you for eating one incorrectly," He teased. "Maybe there'll even do a puppucino for that one," He mused, "He needs to get up like everybody else." Sawyer's heart burst everytime he saw the affection for the dog in Fauna's eyes, hearing it in her voice, and he was so grateful to have her in his life. That fate brought them together, and gave them this life. Sure it wasn't perfect, it wasn't idyllic, because they were human and had to face challenges and issues. But they got thse moments, that both worked extremely hard for, and for that he would do anything to get another one, and another day with her. When she was distracted chasing Bingley, he got the other item out of his backpack, an aged bottle that was inspired by a TikTok he saw. He had placed a note in it, including writing out one of his favourite poems, aged it with a teabag, furling it over with a bracelet that had their birthstones on it, intertwined together. He also included a loveheart charm to represent the day, to be added to her collar, and a small pick 'n' mix bag of sweets Rory helped him pick out. He ran up to place it on the shore, packing wet sand around it, before running back to his usual spot, just as Bingley came racing back, bounding up to him, almost knocking him out with the frisbee he managed to collect.

Fauna leaned up on her toes and kissed the underside of his chin affectionately. "You could never embarrass me Sir, I knew what I was getting into when I chose an American as my forever." She'd stopped herself from saying boyfriend, because it always seemed a little too insignificant for what she felt for Sawyer. He was so much beyond just a boyfriend or even her Dominant, he'd showed her what it meant to be happy, how to be more healthy and helped her to find her voice and beyond loving him she was just so grateful to him for all of that. Bingley of course had gotten to the frisbee long before her, but he gave her an affectionate nudge on his way back to Sawyer as if to say. 'Come on Mom'. She chased him back, breathless by the time she returned to the tall boy. "He beat me.. obviously." The little submissive pouted. "But it wasn't a competition." She specified to herself, leaning against Sawyer. "Honestly it's good I do Alexis' hell work outs so I can keep up with our bouncy son."

Sawyer smiled fondly at Fauna’s little reminder, mostly to herself, that the chase with the dog was not a competition, and he leaned down to kiss her on the top of her head. “Well second place is still good,” He assured her, “it is just our luck we’d have the world’s most hyperactive dog but I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He thought back to how shy and timid Bingley was the day they brought him home from the shelter and how he blossomed from a nervous animal to their boisterous boy they had grown to love. He took Fauna’s hand, glancing at where the bottle was placed, wondering the best way for her to notice it without being too obvious.

Fauna decided not to disagree with Sawyer on the subject of second place still being good, mostly because she believed that her Dominants attitude was better than her own when it came to competitions. "I mean we're both energetic people, so it's good he ended up with us. It'd be sad if he was with people who didn't take him for long runs and wrestle him in the living room. But I'll be honest I canne believe you were worried he might not want to run with you." The girl giggled, petting over their dogs ears. Leaning against Sawyer as he took her hand.

"I believe in fate and destiny," Sawyer mentioned with a shrug, "I just know we were meant to end up with him." He laughed at her comment about his worries regarding him running, reaching down to give their dog a ruffle on the back of his neck, tossing the frisbee again for him to chase after, making sure to pull Fauna closer so she knew not to chase after it this time. "Hindsight is a wonderful thing," He told her, glancing over to the bottle where it had caught the sun, shimmering like a rare jewel. If she didn't notice it soon enough, he would have no choice but to pick it up himself for her, and tell her, gently, she might need her glasses prescription strengthened.

Fauna nodded. “I didn’t used to, but the longer I’ve been with you.. the longer I do.” She told him honestly, it wasn’t an entirely new sentiment. She’d described in detail to him her tween optimism that had melted into teenage nihilism after Charlotte, which somehow had come full circle back to total and utter belief since she’d found him. “It is-“ She started before she followed his eyeline and saw something glinting. “Is that for me?” She asked excitedly, before she pulled him over. Kneeling in the sand to pull the things out. Carefully brushing the sand off, and making a gentle. “Oh.” Of excitement when she saw the bracelet and note inside. “Sir this is so lovely.” She said affectionately, as she went to uncork it. Gently running her fingers over the outside.

Even though he had heard it a thousand times in a thousand different ways, Sawyer would always feel a bit of his heart break when Fauna alluded to her past. The suffering, the torture, how people didn't even treat her with basic decency and dignity. But today wasn't about recalling the bad times, it was about celebrating the good times, and the love they had shared within these past couple of years. Whatever she was about to say was lost on both of them when she noticed the gift, and he couldn't help but laugh as she dragged him over with excitement, watching her reactions carefully. "I can't take credit for the idea, but I think you like the sentiment of us living out a Tik Tok more than anything," He teased. "And don't worry, I have another bottle chilling in the fridge for you back home full of something you do like, if you're not satisfied with this one."

Fauna waved her hand when he said that he couldn't take credit for the idea, eagerly getting on her knees in the wet sand to pull out of the note and read through the poem with a little smile on her face. Rolling the bracelet onto her wrist, she held it up to let it sparkle in the light. "You made it so much better though and I do love the idea of us living out a Tik Tok. I'll totally be posting about this later" She encouraged, carefully running her finger over the bracelet now on her wrist. "These are our birthstones right?" The brunette quizzed, and then squeaked when she saw the charm for her collar. "Thank you so much Sir! You've got me so many things. I love them." Standing up, she stood on her tip toes so he knew she wanted to kiss him. "Almost as much as I love you."

Sawyer often had moments where he wished he could capture it all in a photograph, or some sort of living memory similar to the pensieve in the Harry Potter series. This was definitely one of them, watching Fauna's eyes light up in wonder as she navigated through the contents of the bottle. "I'll look forward to all the thirst traps on my Book Tok account," He teased. Sawyer had relented a while ago, and agreed to have Fauna make him a TikTok, originally just for him to post recommendations and literary memes, but had somewhat snowballed to a lot of unhinged comments, especially once they had made the connection he and Fauna were a couple. "Yes," He confirmed, "I think the colours really compliment each other well. It's as if the universe is telling us something," Sawyer winked, leaning down to kiss her at her signal. "I love you too."

Fauna carefully put the poem and the charm back into the bottle not wanting to lose them in the sand, slipping the candy into her pocket for later. "I mean you are the king of the literary thirst trap.. You should see the comments under the Darcy hand clench." She teased back happily, before kissing him long and hard. Using her new advantage to wrap her legs around his waist, and arms around his neck so that she was clinging to him like a little koala. "I'm somewhat sure that our names are written in the stars somewhere." She told him honestly, running her hand over his face. "I didn't think to bring your present to the beach, but it is wrapped up very nicely for you at home."

Sawyer could feel himself blush at the mention of the scene, thinking back to how amazed at how much his phone could blow up at just random people on TikTok thirsting over him. But he didn't care about any of that, when he had Fauna here with him. The only person he'd ever need, really, wrapped around him like he was, as certain people would say, a giant tree creature. "You know the whole 'written in the stars' phrase is a misquote," He said, before he could stop himself, "From Julius Caesar, the play, I don't know if he actually said the quote. But I agree, we were truly destined for each other. I can't wait to get us home then," He said with a chuckle, "You do have the better wrapping."

Fauna kissed both of his cheeks all along his jaw and chin for good measure and then looked at him with interest. “Oh?” She responded. “What’s the real quote then? My tutor would be super ashamed of me if I was misquoting.” The little brunette teased, whistling for Bingley who had been rolling around in the sand. “It’s the surgeon hands, they make me very precise and steady with most things.” She explained, lifting one hand from around his neck to show him. “Though I didn’t actually really wrap these gifts, I found these really cool 1960’s Valentine’s chocolate boxes online and used them instead.”

It was as if it was an automatic response, Sawyer's eyes fluttering shut in serenity whenever Fauna's lips made contact with his face. An action so soft, proving how safe he felt with her, how much he trusted her completely. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings," He quoted, "As said by Cassius in Julius Caesar. Is it fate that drives us to do things, or a weakness within us as humans to act against our will? The phrase has been quoted and misquoted so many times, analysed to the point of exhaustion, it somehow led to 'written in the stars', which I prefer anyhow." He laughed at her explanation, watching her hands carefully, as if they'd do some sort of trick to prove they were surgeon hands. "That does sound cool, let's hope there wasn't any chocolate inside when you received them. 50 year old chocolate does not sound like the most delicious Valentine's treat."

Fauna listened to him quoting with rapt attention, Sawyer always claimed he was a terrible actor but the little brunette didn't really think that could be true. Not with the way that he read things, with such rich and deep emotion. Despite her interest in literature she'd never much cared for Shakespeare until she learned that Sawyer could quote it by heart, now she took every opportunity to hear the century old words. "I like it both ways." She confessed. "I especially like the quote about human weakness.. very earth shattering." She giggled, tapping him on the nose with the end of her finger. "There wasn't no, and someone had cleaned them well because they smell all perfumey."

He squeezed her hand as she confessed her preference for both analyses, because that's what he truly loved about literature. No one opinion was set in stone, and everything could be open to interepreation. "Me too, keeps me grounded." Sawyer admitted, often using this quote his own reminder that he didn't have to be mythologically strong to be perfect. That it was human to make mistakes sometimes. "Ah, vintage perfume. I wonder if it'll remind me of my grandma." He wondered, "You know the one, visited at Thanksgiving? Definitely where Finn's inherited such a unique train of thought." He teased.

Fauna smiled softly as he squeezed her hand, always feeling a sort of warmth low in her chest when he did so. “Of course that’s what you think of to keep yourself grounded.” She smiled fondly, wondering how she got so lucky. “Ah yes! Lovely Lady definitely gave me an insight into where Finn came from. Did not understand that I was joking about the placemats looking good enough to eat.” The submissive remembered. “You want me to walk back to the apartment or am I getting a free ride?” She asked, fluttering her lashes a little for her preferred outcome.

Sawyer laughed. "In all fairness, we all know you will eat absolutely anything, no matter what," He teased, "I believe when we first met you even referred to yourself as a raccoon?" He squeezed her hand back, feeling completely enamoured with her in this moment, maybe just slightly influenced by the love in the air this Valentine's. At her hinting, Sawyer playfully rolled his eyes. "I think I can arrange a ride for you," He said with a shrug, as if he hadn't completely given in, "Piggyback, shoulder carry, or bridal carry, Kitten?"

She giggled along with him, though she also gave his arm a playful poke. “I mean it’s true I am a racoon, and I will eat basically anything.. except I’ve discovered that I fully detest that spray cheese in a can that you have in this country.. I’m half convinced that it isn’t for human or raccoon consumption.” The little brunette responded, her thumb smoothing over the back of his hand. “Bridal, I want to be able to look into those beautiful brown eyes of yours.” She told him with a slightly love sick smile.

Sawyer laughed, the spray can of cheese a fond snack for him in his youth, he and Finn bringing disgust to the rest of the clan for how much of the stuff they could put away. “Probably not,” He agreed, “but I enjoy it.” At her request, the Dominant bowed, before sweeping her up without further warning. “Anything for you, Ms. Hudson.” He said, making sure he was supporting her correctly, before leaning down for a kiss. “I love you so much. Thank you for an excellent Valentine’s Day so far.”

Fauna wrinkled her nose in disgust. "You know it's true love when you still desire him even after he declares his love for spray cheese.." She admitted and then giggled as he swept her off her feet, Bingley barking excitedly as he did so. Accepting the kiss with a little sigh of delight. She really hoped that he would like the jacket as much as she thought that he would. "I love you more than I could ever tell you, thank you for my gorgeous presents."

He playfully nudged her for her comment, smirking a little when her smart-mouth elicited a squeal instead, trying to manoeuvre carrying her safely, and keeping Bingley from excitedly jumping up on Fauna's lap to also be carried. And though it was a moment of chaos, it was absolutely perfect all the time. "Thank you for accepting them, and even though I haven't seen mine yet, I'm sure they're amazing and I love them as well." He promised her, playing with a tendril of her hair. "Onwards?"

Fauna clung a little more tightly to her boyfriend as he moved her away from their dogs eager paws, and nodded with a peaceful and fond express. "I mean if you don't love them, I'm lucky enough to have a very talented mouth that's basically a get out of jail free card for all gift giving." She joked and then just looked at him for a moment, silently thanking whatever cosmic force had allowed him into her life. "Onwards." She agreed with a grateful sigh.

Sawyer rolled his eyes at her teasing. "That's very true, and I am very appreciative for that little mouth of yours." He promised her, whistling at Bingley to follow as he carried them away from the beach. "I hope my mouth has the same talents, as I don't think I'll be able to top it next Valentine's Day." He joked. "Yes, Ms. Hudson." He said, with a playful eye roll, content and happy with where their life was, at this current moment.

#(( adventures with sawyer ))

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ariyadaivaris · 7 years

Text

who am i kidding i love 205 too much to not at least try to catch it live smh...booboo the fool over here is gonna have a breakdown when eir internet fails five minutes in and ey could’ve avoided it by waiting and not caring abt people seeing eir shitty posts on the internet so much. rip :/

#205 lb #as we speak my internet's trying to kill itself which is relatable #you know what fuck this im gonna wait to watch 205 until its up i have no patience buffering is going to kill me if i try #so whats up guys whats it like being emotionally stable enough to handle watching 205 live like an adult??? i wouldnt know!!!#i am torn in between trying to accept that this will be easier and more enjoyable even if no one sees it bc i just love 205 so much #itll be okay whether or not anyone else cares #or shovelling that hot fresh special interest content into my gaping maw right now and capitalizing on those People Liking My Posts bucks #while theres still a chance. i dont know i just fucking love 205 THIS IS WEIRD ISNT IT.#IM READING ALL THESE TAGS THIS IS A FUCKING WEIRD WAY TO THINK ABOUT A THING LIKE 205 HUH.#LIKE. JESUS CHRIST HAHA WHAT IS THIS. IM GONNA KMS MAYHAPS #I LOVE NEVER ENJOYING THINGS IN MODERATION OR IN A WAY THAT ISN'T LAUGHABLY EMBARASSING AND CRINGEY AND BAD LMAO!!!!!!!!#ill be back to yelling in like an hour i guess im like. HOO its a bad night sorry lads i might just #no i dont wanna wait till morning i need to check the tags while things are still relevant and fresh dammit #this is bad. this is a bad way to live or enjoy things. no one be like me okay. im gonna go wait and also try not to break down again Bye xo

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bubblyani · 5 years

Text

His type (Ronnie x Reader)

Ronnie Kray One Two Shot

Genre: Smut (18+)

Author’s Note: I’m a sinner once again to be inspired at work. And about Ronnie Kray no doubt. Hope you all enjoy!

The red dress stuck on to your body like a magnet, as you swayed your hips in rhythm to the slow jazz. The thin material felt like second skin, for you found it quite easy to freely move, to and explore, and to' be lost' in the music. You certainly enjoyed it. Being the brave one to get up from the table, being the one to move to the dance floor with no hesitation, being the one to dance and wait for no one’s permission. But you also took great satisfaction when there was an audience to witness it, even if it was an audience of one, but only if the ‘one’ meant him.

“Such a crime…to see you alone tonight without a lucky lad by ya side”

You smiled, turning to accept a glass of brandy from Reggie Kray as you swayed.

“Crime? Oh ho! You're the one to talk Reg” you replied in tease, biting your shiny red lower lip, taking in a sip.

“Hey! I am a Club Owner, alrigh?” he reminded you with a confident smile.

“Right...of course” you played along, winking at the Gangster Prince of East End.

“I don't need a man, I have the lot of you to keep me in good company” you continued, tapping him on the chest. He did not wait to hold on to your hand.

“That’s not the company I had in mind love” he said softly, rubbing his thumb on your hand.

“Oh Reg...” you pouted in protest, still aware of the pair of eyes that haven’t left your sight since you got up. His eyes that you didn’t mind watching you. The eyes you wanted to watch you.

With confidence gained from another sip, you finally raised your glass to Ronnie Kray, who sat with Teddy a few tables away. Raising his glass in return, he maintained his gaze, smoking his cigar. Clouds of smoke escaped his lips, misting his glasses, yet the alluring shade of red that approached the table helped him focus.

“Mind if I join ya lads?” You asked in a mockingly polite tone, with fluttering eyelashes. Teddy jumped up,

“Only if you promised to stay the whole night” he chirped, walking over to pull up a chair for you.

“Which won’t be a problem” you replied with a giggle, pinching his cheek before sitting down.

“Yeah, cause good company is not easy to find, don’t you agree Y/N?” Ronnie spoke out of the sudden, looking at you with intense eyes. You suddenly stopped giggling, lost in his eyes with confusion.

“ Yes...couldn’t agree more” you managed to reply, finding it difficult to read his mind.

“That’s more like it...Get more fuckin drinks over here” roaring into laughter, Ronnie was in high spirits calling out the waiters.

Relieved, you watched as Reggie joined in along with Leslie and Albert. Your bubbly personality and appreciation for sarcastic humor won the hearts of The Kray twins and most of The Firm, and was invited as great company for quite some time. Every week, nights like these at Esmeralda’s Barn was an essential.

Unlike some, you firmly believed each brother possessed a charm which was simply irresistible and unique . Your friendship with the Krays never was romantic nor sexual. As much as you found Reggie’s smooth advances enjoyable, Ronnie was the one who secretly became your unattainable fantasy. With his rather unconventional social life, you liked to wonder the what if’s.

-----------------------------------------------

“Oi Y/N! You off work?”

“Firstly Teddy, don’t 'Oi' me now. That’s rude. Secondly, it’s actually my lunch break ” you replied with a tone that hinted sass, waving at Teddy who just stopped the car, when he found you walking.

“Afternoon Ronnie!” You certainly didn’t forget to greet Mr. Kray, who sat on the back, nodding in acknowledgement.

“Where are you lovely people heading off to?” you asked, with your hands behind your back.

“We're going to pick up Lesl-“

“Join us Y/N!...” Ronnie suddenly cut off Teddy, "...we'll pick up Leslie then head for lunch, that sound alright?"

You smiled, "The perfect way to spend my lunch break for sure" getting into the backseat, joining Ronnie.

-----------------------------------------------

"Lazy fucker! Is he not up yet?" Ronnie grunted irritatingly. You sighed, looking out the window as Teddy called out for Leslie outside the building.

"I'll go get 'im, Ron...might take a while" Teddy shouted back at them, before entering the building.

"Ahh.....get it fuckin done...we'll be late for lunch" Ronnie angrily motioned him to be quick. You looked over to him, "It's alright...we can wait a bit, maybe he's having a bad hangover" you said.

As he grunted in reply, there were the two of you, sitting on either sides of the backseat.

This was the first time you were ever alone with Ronnie Kray. And for some reason the one thing you wanted to talk about felt quite ridiculous, but you gave it a try.

"I just had to ask..." you began, "Do you have a certain type with men?"

Ron stared into the distance mid thought, "Not really. I guess the taste... varies". You smiled.

"And what about women? Is there a type?" you felt daring,"Am I your type?" And there you went. Not like you were risking anything. You could always laugh about it later. Or did you cross the line? Were you that desperate?

Ron suddenly turned his head to you, with narrowed eyebrows. You felt embarassed, regretting everything in an instant.

"Of course not...not in slightest eh?" you said, wrinkling your nose, laughing nervously, hoping he'd tell you to fuck off or something. But instead,

"I never said that" he replied.

Tension started building in the car. You raised your eyebrows in surprise.

"Come here" Ronnie commanded. You scooched over to the middle seat, slowly.

"No...closer" he said, as he patted the seat closest to him. He sounded firm and certain. Confusion and excitement mixed together, you moved over untill you sat cross legged next to him, your knee lightly brushing against his thigh.

This view was new to you, being this close to a man who was known to be quite dangerous.

"You know..." he began, looking at you, "sometimes...I'd wonder..." you caught your breath when he moved his gaze down, where his hand made contact with the bare skin of your calve "...how it would be like if you and I ever had...-"

"-something? " you completed it for him, "Funny you should say that.." still finding it hard to get over his touch, you strived on "...that was something that crossed my mind..more than a few times" your breath quickening, as you felt his hand moving up to your knee.

Maybe it was his touch or something else completely. But Ronnie Kray suddenly seemed far from unattainable at this point.

With your hand on the seat as support, the leather squeaked as you got up, pulling up your tight skirt. Putting your leg around Ronnie, you straddled his right thigh, your skirt pooled around your waist. Leaning forward, you carefully took off his glasses with both hands, gently placing it next to you, while you held his shoulder with one hand. If Ronnie was known to be unconventional, well that was what you were going to be with him without a doubt. You proceeded to loosen his collar and tie. Placing your hands on his suit, running over his broad chest, you bent over, kissing every inch of his neck with much satisfaction. The low moan that came out of him gave you a strong, throbbing sensation down below.

You felt yourself jump as Ronnie's hand gripped your neck, hard enough to keep you in place, but not so much to strangle. With lips slightly parted, you watched him eye you up and down. Loosening the grip, his hand settled on the top button of your high collar, unbuttoning one and moving down to do others. Impatient and obedient as you were, your hands quickly moved to where his were, unbuttoning your silk shirt in haste, exposing your skin more and more as you stared at him, lips pressed tight. The silence was only cut off by the visible breaths coming out of your heaving chest as Ronnie Kray leaned back to watch you undress. Pulling out the tucked in shirt, you removed the last button. Thankful of your clothing choices today, you unhooked the bra from the front, stretching your shoulders back. Though you were still dressed, the mere exposure of your breasts to the open air made you feel very much naked, especially when he was the one looking. Ronnie leaned forward as you slide closer to him, his strong thigh rubbing against your crotch as you did. Grabbing one of his hands, you opened his index finger, placing it on your lips. Watching you from the corner of your eye, you kissed it softly, taking the time. Guiding his hand to your neck, you allowed his hand to taste the skin of your bare neck then moving to your collarbones. The throbbing grew stronger between your thighs as he took charge, his callused palm feeling his way around your bare breasts.

"You're..." he murmured deeply ,"...quite the fascinating creature Y/N" his eyes glued to your chest as your body winced and reacted to every touch, squeeze and caress. With reddened cheeks, you held on to his shoulders, rocking back and forth, letting your heat create fiction against his thigh. Your movement felt more at rhythm when Ronnie's other hand slithered round your waist, resting on your left buttock, extending his palm around the area, gripping it tight as you kept going.

"Ronnie..." you breathed, "please..." bending down to snatch his lips. But he merely teased you, tilting his chin up, watching you groan in frustration.

"Do you want me to beg?” You whispered angrily, “Is that it? Ro-"

Pulling you close, Ronnie hungrily clashed his lips against yours. Finally.

So sudden yet powerful, it felt like a KO merged in a kiss. You felt as if you were suddenly injected with the strongest drug. So you did not hesitate to let your mouth open as his tongue slid in searching for your very own. This drug of a kiss was strength inducing, you felt brave enough to run your fingers through his neatly combed, slicked back hair, pulling out locks, pulling him further to you, deepening the kiss to depths you've never dove before.

Deliberately pressing your chest against his suit, your nipples remained erect as his crisp shirt and the suit jacket brushed against your exposed naked torso.

"Ronnie!” Your hand rested on his clothed erection, “I want...I want...", quickly unzipping his trousers , you dipped your hand in, releasing soft swears out of Ronnie's lips as you felt him. The level of arousal was so high, you felt completely soaked down south.

"Ron! Leslie's alive...Don’t be cross now”

Teddy's loud voice from the distance shook you both into reality. In a flash, you ducked under the seat, pulling your skirt down, and buttoning up your shirt in seconds.

"Alright.. you’re forgiven...fuckin wanker” Ronnie cried out while he brushed his hair back. You snickered as you slowly got back to your seat. Hoping they didn’t see much.

Sitting next to him, you hurriedly placed a handkerchief over the soaked stain on his trouser leg.

"Sorry about that..." you said quite casually, with a smug look on your face. Ronnie quickly grabbed your hand,

"Your place...tonight" he growled in a low tone.

You shuddered, biting your lower lip, as your thighs pressed together to suppress your arousal. But quickly changed expression as you looked on forward, smiling at Teddy and Leslie.

" I hope you're hungry Y/N" Teddy called out as he started the engine.

"Oh trust me...I'm fucking famished"

—————————————————————

Part 2

Mood for Reggie?

Check my MASTERLIST for more.

#tom hardy #the krays #ronnie kray #ronald kray #ron kray #ronnie kray x reader #legend 2015 #tom hardy fanfiction

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tumblunni · 5 years

Note

Vexen for the character ask meme

favorite thing about them

HE DAD POWER!! Everything about vexen becomes better when you interpret him as caring about ienzo and the replicas like his own children. And just generally i adore that even if my dad headcanons werent exactly validated my headcanons of him being a good redeemable dude absolutely were! I never thougjt that would ever happen!!! HE IS SOFT: CONFIRMED

least favorite thing about them

*stares directly at a wall for eight hours* *still cant think of anything* Sorry! Prior to kh3 my only dislike about him was how he was treated, with a small role and no redemption and such. But that FINALLY ENDED, so i am ETERNALLY JOYED!!!

favorite line

"I am a scientist. Experiments are what i do, yes." I just love how he's such a sassy lil shit and really over the top hammy at the same time? Like Ienzo/Zexion is more of a standard sarcastic dude but Vexen somehow manages to roll his eyes in the most enthusiastic way possible and have the time of his life!

Brotp

More like family than frienda but i love him being Le Daddo to Ienzo. I think they have the most emotional dynamic of all his potential children, since Vexen feels like he failed to protect this kid and then had to watch him grow up literally as a monster and become this super depressed cynical schemer and then gets to see him finally smile again when they become human again and just AAAAGH MY HEART

Also i never expected him and demyx to be super team up buddies in kh3 but now i love it and im sad we didnt get to see more of them being goofy opposites bickering buds who do care about each other deep down. Also i like the ship of demyx and ienzo so that works really well with that! Think of demyx beibg super excited like HEY BEST BUDDY IM DATING YOUR SON YOURE MY FATHER IN LAW AND WE CAN HANG OUT AAAALLL THE TIIIIIIIME and vexen is just like *internal screaming* ans then they end up on some awkward bonding fishing trip or something and eventually he reluctantly admits that he DOES appreciate the friendship and also totally thinks that demyx is a talented young lad who would make his son quite happy and he's admitting all this to ienzo while thinking demyx is out of earshot and then he turns around and he's right there and HEARTWARMING COMEDY FREAKOUTS! Srsly so much potential in this, i always love shipping wheb theres supporting parent characters and stuff. I STILL ADORE PORCOLINE FROM RUNE FACTORY YO

OTP

I like him and Lexeus which is kind of a rare pair and i dont really understand why? I mean they knew each other in the backstory and then he's the other notable backstory person partnered with vexen in the organization alongside his literal son so its implied they were close. And buff dude nerd dude ships are grand! And its also interrsting cos lexaeus is a quiet gentle big guy and vexen is a twig who somehow contains 500% loud.

nOTP

Anything with him and people young enough to be his son, seriously. Why. But also i dont like him and marluxia and i dont understand why its so popular except i guess just cos theyre the most feminine members of the group or something? I mena their only interactions ingame are yelling at each other or literally plotting to kill each other. *shrug*

random headcanon

He is chilly, give him sweaters! He doesnt have a particularly high tolerance for cold weather despite his ice powers. And he has a weak spot for coziness, he'll pretty much drop straight to sleep in five minutes flat if you put him in a comfy chair by the fire. And whoever you ship him with, imagine them totally finding it super cute!! And also imagine them knitting him an embarassing christmas sweater and he's all grumpy about it but secretly appreciates it :3

Unpopular opinion

That he is good and soft and dad and i always believed he was redeemable!

I like how he's drawn on this one particular official art

song i associate with them

Not a song but this clip from the simpsons

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youtube

favorite picture of them

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lum1natrix · 6 years

Note

iM OVER THINKING ABOUT VAMP MARK.. What if hes hes as serious as dark, but giggly like mark. and he just has sharp teef. sometimes he gets a lil embarassed when he drinks his blood bc it goes over his face so warfstache decides to make a mess when he eats so vamp mark isnt the only one. he has lil stimmy toys that he chews bc his teef sometimes hurt. and hes secretly friends with dark bc dark kills for him and also vamp mark sleeps with tiny bat plushies

AAHH YES OMG

I have always envisioned him being a good mix of Dark & Mark, with adorable little fangs that just never retract, and i imagine him being a very clean and proper lad. i don’t see him as mean or anything, in fact I think he’d be all around pleasant when he’s not being serious!

but wilford doing that for him just makes my heart warm ugh yes

#Anonymous #answered #vampiplier

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jiilys · 6 years

Note

ooooooohh i hope "my sort of thing" is less than 500 words too bc its brilliant

i think its way more than 500 words but!! math is nothing!!! thank u for asking me abt this!!

heres the fic btw its them on social media and i took the title from ernest hemingway bc u know what? bitch deserves it

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: turn down gasolina

tribute 2 bonnie’s best thought as is required by law

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: tell potter to stop trying to engage me with fruit based wordplay

Sirius Black: he’ll be gutted

Sirius Black: also how did u get this number

Lily Evans: its written in the girls bathroom with TWAT over it

Sirius Black: and u assumed it was me

Lily Evans: well potter doesnt have an 021 number

okay so two things: when i was first was writing this there was a bit above it where james was in the group chat and said smth like ‘christ just saw lil and asked if she was peachy keen’ and then peter said something and it like wasnt??great?? and i sent it to el and she was like ‘cut it its funnier without the context’ anf she was right as always

also in the tags someone was like ‘021 number spot the new zealander’ and i have never Felt So Known

lily rear ending james orginally was like More Of A Thing but it turns out its funnier if there are 0 details like i like to imagine she full on hits him while trying to park sits in her car for a full ten minutes trying to decide whether to drive off before leaving a note on his car bc u know....... she gotta

Sirius Black to James Potter: im in the assembly hall replacing all the trophies with vodka bottles

James Potter: no ur not

James Potter: cause im in the assembly hall replacing the curtains with glad wrap

Sirius Black: nah im in dumstrams assembly hall

James Potter: we dont go to dumstram

the image of james like.... looking around the completely empty assembly hall.... confused.. next to a garbage bag of vodka bottles...... Priceless

i was SO WORRIED everyone would think this was a typo but like full offence... they 1000% called that school dumbstrum and then it just got shortened to dumstram over the years and now like no one can remember what the real name is

James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: if evans asks I dont know who coldplay is

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: potter loves coldplay and went to their concert in 2011

Peter Pettigrew to Lily Evans: james’ favourite coldplay song is charlie brown

Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: if u play ‘fix you’ once james has had one (1) beer he will tear up and pretend its hay fever

James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: no one here has any fucking loyalty

this is another bonnie tribute cause orginially i had his favourite as like waterfalls or smth?? and bonnie was like. no. make it charlie brown. and i was like. as u wish bc everything, really, is about the princess bride

Peter Pettigrew to it should be pengu not pingu: sirius u ate all the humus and now mums pissed

Sirius Black: did u tell liz it was me

Sirius Black: say it was lupin

Remus Lupin: do not

group chat name is an andy reference love u dream girl

also ‘do not’ is Peak Remus like he rlly would be that bitch and sirius rlly is, at heart, a basic fucking white chick so ofc hes all over hummus

Unknown: so long dickweed im going underground

James Potter: does this mean ur missing bake off

Unknown: no obvsly ill go after bake off im not an animal

would this reference be outdated now whats happening in britain would i now have to talk about love island in new zealand the go to is always like shortland street bc its so stupid that its always in the news so you dont have to watch it to keep up

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u want me and james 2 punch avery 4 the calling u poor thing

Lily Evans: no

Lily Evans: do not do that

Sirius Black: wish youd sent this earlier

he fully sent this like right after doing it what a shit

hes the best

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: u look awful did u sleep last night

Sirius Black: go home

Remus Lupin: i cant miss bio

Sirius Black: ill go for u

Remus Lupin: u dont take bio

Sirius Black: irrelevant

this is peak sirius being like Chaotic Good 4 only the ppl he gives a shit abt

Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: tell sirius his bag is open

Peter Pettigrew: why don’t u tell him

Remus Lupin: im not speaking to him bc he said james glasses’ made me look like a wombat

this is my favourite bit and like no one else ever comments on it but like..... hes so hurt theyre not even speaking............. petty doesnt even cover it

Sirius Black: it would be THE HONOUR OF YOUR LIFE to get blown by me u fucking heathen

this is everyones favourite bit and i think thats cool im going 2 try and get ‘heathen’ back in the vernacular

Lily Evans to James Potter: sirius just said i look pretty and didnt ask to borrow gas money after

sirius black yet again being the king of Chaotic Good. also this:

James Potter: if i said u looked pretty every time you did id never say anything else

hes so gone 4 her its embarassing

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: heard ur dying

Sirius Black: can i have ur nice waterbottle

i have been funny exactly 4 times and that bit above is like at least two of them

The Fish Joke was so weird when i first thought of it but i needed a james/peter bit and i was like u know what........ Its Happening Lads

Remus Lupin: this isnt about you do you know what lily said to peter abt james

Remus Lupin: peter was bein all dramatic and said ‘hes dying’

Remus Lupin: and lily said ‘dont be ridiculous he would never do that to me’

Sirius Black: when are they going to fuck

Remus Lupin: yeah i thought it was rather romantic myself

tbh shouldve saved this line for a like live action fic cause i dont think it works as well over text

Lily Evans to James Potter: at the risk of sounding like a tit im rlly tired of not kissing you

Lily Evans: as in i would really very much like to kiss you now and often

Lily Evans: its so late and i like you so much

Lily Evans: you always know how to make me laugh

like that stuff?? those are the kind of lines that only work over text bc a normal human person would never say all that at once in person but over text there is this whole gulf between you and that person so its just lily in her room saying all the stupid romantic shit bc she knows hes the real deal

anyway thanks for this!!! this fic isnt actually too bad so!! looking over it again was fun im sorry i took so long 2 answer i hope this!! was what u wanted!

#the spelling in this must be so bad christ sorry el who is probs reading this and cringing #cheers for asking me abt this!! was fun!!! thanks for being interested in me its!! mad!! that u are but still!!#writing bitching #piss off caroline #Anonymous

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chocolatemillkk · 6 years

Text

Meeting the Parents (JP)

Request: Im in desperate need of a josh imagine😍✨ like him meeting your parents for the first time or something❤️🙈

"They will like you!" I try to convince my boyfriend Josh as we sit side by side on the train. It was taking us to Manchester where I would be introducing Josh for the first time to my family.

Josh and I began dating in December but we had kept it pretty secret until after New Year's. It had now been half a year of dating and my parents were getting impatient as to when they would see their new "son-in-law" which freaked Josh out even more.

"They're probably gonna take one look at me and kick me out," Josh groans.

"Don't be silly," I hold his hand. "They've seen your pictures and I've told them lots about you. They'll love you."

"But Y/N what if I say something inappropriate and they hate me?"

I laugh, "Then don't say anything inappropriate!"

Josh leans his head back on the seat and he looks paler than usual. I touch my hand to his cheek and he's cold to the touch.

"Babe," I didn't realise he was that nervous. "Trust me they will love you. My younger brother thinks you're really cool and my parents will love you because they know you make me so happy!"

Josh looks at me but his head is still glued to the seat behind him. "I make you happy?"

"Oh my god," I lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek. "If you didn't I wouldn't be taking you home."

"You're right," Josh's chest rises and falls with his deep breath. "I'm being silly."

I lean my head on his shoulder and he rests his head atop mine.

"Worst case is they hate me but you'll still love me right?" Josh says after a while.

"Josh!" I shove his shoulder. "Of course not! I'll just move back to Manchester if my parents hate you and never talk to you again."

The sarcasm finally gets a laugh out of Josh and he relaxes. But he grabs my hand still, and holds it against him for the rest of the ride there.

•••

"Ready?" I look at Josh as we stand on my childhood front steps. Somewhere on the railing was a chip where I drove my brother's bike into it when I was twelve and fake flowers hid an extra key to the house.

"Yes, just do it." Josh leans over and knocks on the door for me. I grab his other hand behind me and squeeze.

"Y/N! Josh!" My mum opens the door and my eyes land on her warm smile. I didn't visit often enough.

"Mum," I lean in to the hug and inhale her familiar honey-like scent. I step in and watch my mum tip-toe to get Josh in a big hug. I stick my tongue out behind my mum's back and Josh laughs as he bends to match her height.

"It's so good to finally have you over! Aw you're such a handsome lad I can't believe Y/N has been keeping you to herself!" My mum scolds me but I make eye contact with Josh as if to say told-you-so. If anyone was getting in trouble today, it would be me. Josh hands my mom her flowers and she makes a fuss with them.

"Louis! Call your dad come meet Josh!" My mom yells out into the house as she gathers our jackets.

"Hey bro!" My brother pops out from his bedroom, he was a lot younger than me-13 years old and he was at the age where I was considered weird. Although he was nice when he knew he could smuggle some money from me.

"Hey how you doing?!" Josh and my brother do a weird half-hug. My brother had met Josh before when he was staying with me during his spring break. Josh and him had gotten along just perfectly.

"Louis say hi to your sister," my mom says as she heads back to the kitchen. "And ask your dad when he's planning on finding the ingredients I sent him to look for.

"Hey loser," I pull my brother in for a hug and he turns stiff like a board so that I let him go. Josh laughs at this but I give him a dirty look.

"Josh," my dad finally emerges with a packet of sugar and a bag of spinach. "C'mere." He puts everything down and grabs Josh in a hug. "It's nice to finally meet the bloke my daughter is so smitten for."

"Dad," I roll my eyes and steer everyone to sit on the couches.

"It's true though!" My dad tells Josh. "Oh Josh is really handsome, Josh fixed that issue with my phone the other day, oh Josh took me to the cutest coffee shop..." my dad laughs at I burn with embarassment. He loved to tease me.

"It's called being in looove," my brother decides to join in on embarassing me. I look at Josh who's turning red and trying not to laugh but as soon as we make eye contact we burst out laughing.

"I'll show you around later," my dad tells Josh. "I promised Y/N's mum I would help her with dinner."

My dad leaves and I slide closer to Josh which my brother thinks is gross by his gagging noises and he leaves the room. It's just us two again.

"How was it?" I ask.

"Overwhelming," Josh sighs. "But in a good way."

"Just like when I met your family," I still get embarassed by the stuttering and blushing mess I was that day.

"I guess so," Josh laughs and kisses my cheek. I turn instead to kiss him properly and he smiles against my mouth.

"I didn't realise you were such a big Josh Pieters fan," he's still grinning when I break from the kiss.

"Oh shut it," I push him away. "Don't let it get to your head."

"Did you want a photo? An autograph?" Josh, of course, continues to tease me.

"Let me show you my bedroom," I get Josh off the couch and further into my room. It's still got pink walls but most of the furniture has been upgraded and my childhood dollhouse collects dust in the corner. Josh was a giant in my small room and it was weird to have him in this space.

"It's nice to see where you grew up," Josh says to me.

"Wait until I take you to all my childhood spots," I wrap my arms around him. "All the places I snuck out to too."

"Oh I'd like to see where you went during your rebellious days," Josh pulls me in as he examines the photos still scattered throughout my room.

During dinner my parents grill Josh with a ton of questions on where he was from and what it was like and although he's nervous at first he's soon laughing and talking with passion about his hometown. Every so often I check in with him, catching his eye or touching his hand but he seems comfortable. So much so that him and my brother even gang up on me at one point.

"You have a really great family," Josh tells me as we get ready for bed that night.

"And you were freaking out on the ride here," I cut my eyes at him. "Does that seem silly to you."

"Yeah," Josh admits. He draws me into a hug and collapses on the bed with me. "There was nothing to worry about. Although your parents did ask on more than one occasion what I considered the right age to marry."

"They did not," I cover my mouth trying not to giggle. "I'm so sorry."

Josh tells me it's okay and kisses my forehead. "I said I did want to when the timing was right."

"That's a good answer," I say. We talk some more about my family and Josh tells me my mom actually said she would be on the vlog which Josh was going to film tomorrow.

"Wow I feel like my family loves you more than they love me," I joke. Josh chuckles and gives me another sleepy kiss. I play with his hair and watch his eyes slowly droop close before I eventually fall asleep myself. If today was any indication, tomorrow would be an even longer day so I needed all the sleep I could get.

#josh pieters imagines #josh pieters imagine #josh pieters #youtube imagines #butterqueue #josh imagines are gr8 #fic

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