#im drawing the stuff i asked suggestions but it just so happens that im mentally ill about musicals and circe
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There are other ways of persuasion...
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SO, Epic: the Musical amiright
I CANNOT WAIT FOR WHEN THE CIRCE SAGA IS OUT
i got possessed im sorry i love Circe
#my art#fate grand order#circe#odysseus#epic the musical#I GUESS#tho its so little lmao but listen.#im drawing the stuff i asked suggestions but it just so happens that im mentally ill about musicals and circe
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First of all, sorry to all of those who didn’t get my boops in return!! I send them even now but mentally. Boop.
I ended up spending all my writing time on headcanons… but still, here are some regular replies!
A couple about Idia, a couple about fandom stuff.
Anonymous asked:
THE GAY THOUGHTS ARE OVERTAKING IDIA
this seems like a pre-photo of that one art you did with idia and Lilia in the concert bathroom ngl... perhaps they are related??
Ohh, you remember that one!!
Technically yes, this is pretty much the same story, just the before and after thing lol Although they’re dressed differently in these two posts (my bad), both of them stem from the same scenario Katsu and I came up with a year ago.
Anonymous asked:
Alright, so we see how Idia reacts when someone reacts aggressively against the crap he says but what would happen if he says a snide remark to someone and then they proceed to verbally and psychologically obliterate him on the spot? Would he freeze up, talk back?
We’ve seen it with Sebek a couple of times, even though Sebek doesn’t really obliterate him psychologically (he is much weaker than Idia in this sense…), but I think Idia tends to talk back. Idia is quite stubborn, and talking back and escalating the situation is one of his biggest defence mechanisms. He is the master shit-talker and a genius of snark, so he might win against the majority of people + he is so self-deprecating that not a lot of people would know what to say to him to actually hurt his feelings – Idia berates himself much worse than that on a regular basis + expects that everyone hates his guts anyway.
But I don’t think it’s impossible to shut him up using only verbal abuse… Lilia might be the one who succeeds at that, actually.
Anonymous asked:
warning, ranting here im so sorry I just need to get it off my chest :(
even if you do not see this that's ok, im a big fan of your art plus headcanons and the fact you also ship my rare pair. but recently my mutuals found out I follow you and like your art and I have troubles talking with them. sometimes they say that im supporting that type of behaviour by interacting and im torn. I am not sure what to do. I personally do not mind your shroudcest, they are fictional and you probably do not support it. sorry for the rant and assumptions. English is not my first language so im sorry if it's hard to understand.
Hi, Anon! I am very happy you like our stuff and I really appreciate that you just ignore the things that you don’t particularly like: I feel very lucky that we have people like you now.
It’s very unfortunate that your friends make you feel bad about following us, I am very sorry to hear that. And I can’t tell you how to deal with your friends, since I don’t know what kind of relationships you have, but I always say it: a friend should be able to see past someone’s interests and be open-minded, and not make you feel horrible for liking certain things that don’t harm anyone. And you don’t even like those things – you just ignore them and like something completely different. How is it supporting me? It doesn’t even affect stuff that we post and draw – I would’ve drawn all that anyway.
If you want to hear it: I don’t support any of the problematic themes that I draw in real life. This is such an obvious thing to me, such a given, such a common sense thing, that it’s honestly very offensive that someone might even consider that this isn’t the case simply because I draw certain stuff. Please note that you are not offending me, Anon, you’ve done nothing wrong and I’m just venting back. People throw assumptions so easily just to harass us or their friends for supporting us, those are such big words and allegations, it’s honestly messed up that this is a norm.
But I digress. I could only suggest you to reflect on your relationship with those people and try to make compromises that make sense for you. It’s easy to say, but try not to let them bully you. Try not to let people who don’t trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t condone stuff like that irl dictate you how you live your life. This is a game that you can’t win: even if you stop supporting me, it’s not a guarantee that you won’t get smacked for something else in the future. I don’t know your friends. But a lot of people experienced that. It’s mentally challenging trying to walk on eggshells all the time, especially because of something that’s not even true, so take care of yourself.
Thank you once again for your message. I hope things get better.
Anonymous asked:
I hope this doesn't come off creepy but as someone who creates art and fic of an incesty oc!shroud x Idia ship. It makes me happy to see you supporting and creating weird unhinged stuff. For now I live vicariously through you and maybe one day I'll be bold enough to post the newer sketches I have for my story.
Thank you for your message, Anon! I am super happy that our stuff gives you some comfort and confidence to create things that you care about; it means a lot to hear that.
Also! Kudos to you for creating an incest Oc!Shroud x Idia ship hehe ^w^
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hi i’m fox! this is my blog where i post stuff that is triggering and related to the abuse i suffered. don’t interact with my blog if abuse is a trigger. I try to tag things but sometimes i forget so this is pretty much ur warning! if you feel like i should be using a tw/cw let me know!
Things i typically post: trauma related art, vent art, weirdcore,surreal core, dereality themes, self harm (i don’t share images just themes of it! i will not post my own self harm) eating disorder (not thinspo or pro ana)
everything i post is mine but a lot of images i do get from pinterest except for my drawings. please DONT repost my stuff at all unless you get permission!
DNI List:
-anti traumacore blogs
-KINK/NSFW blogs (More specifically if u are dd/lg)
-pro MAPs
-anti recovery
-TERFS
-basic dni criteria
quick questions i get:
How old are you?: Im 27
Pronouns: She/her
Can I send you a dm?: yes but sometimes i dont reply bc i get a lot of notifs
Asks/Vents
-I get a lot of anons now, so i may not answer every single one. please don’t take offence if i don’t answer yours! it may be because i’m busy, or the topic is very heavy or i simply have not seen it!
-Most times I will spend about 30 minutes to an hour going through my inbox, but that depends on my schedule :) I try to put them in a q so it doesnt clog up peoples time lines
-Feel free to trauma dump in my blog! It can be about anything!!!
-if you don’t want me to post you ask please let me know, if you want an ask deleted let me know as well!
-Feel free to use any emojis or names to identity you (or don’t!)
-I’m not a mental health professional so i can only answer as best to my knowledge, i suggest you talk to your doctor or a therapist (if possible) for legit advice
You can reblog all of my posts unless i say not to :-) mistakes happen so don’t feel bad if you do ^_^
You also can tag whatever u like! idc if u want to tag my stuff abt ur fav character/celeb or whatever fits ur vibe <3
My main blog is: @phatghettorat (its just a shitposting blog where i just rb funnies or whatever is my current hyperfixation) i would consider this my main but tumblr wont let me change lol
You can also find me:
Instagram (@/traumatizedfox)
TikTok (@/traumatizedfox)
I also have a discord server meant for venting and posting traumacore art/edits/poetry check it out!
have a wonderful day <3
-Fox
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hey there! ive finally made an art blog! im going to try post more just… stuff, as usually i reserve my art posts for either special occaisions or specifically public-oriented works, and it kinda bums me out to not just have a place to dump my art anymore, so here you go!
(more details and helpful info below!)
who are you?
in hopes of providing some relevant lenses to view my work through, ill give some personal details here. if these lenses dont suit your interpretation of the work, thats alright! view as you please, though i do still think these will always be important context in said viewings.
my name is zelda (she/her) and im a queer jewish 20something who struggles quite a bit with illness both physical and mental.
ive always been kind of enthralled by impressionism and what it really means to use suggestion and spirit as a stronger tool than portrayal and form.
i have a particular draw to fantasy and magical aesthetics, especially the world-building within.
i am a serial overthinker, and tend to see alot of meaning and symbolism in things that plainly do not have them.
while yes i am jewish, my relation to faith is complicated. if you see me type “god” im using it in a turn of phrase with no meaning. if you see me type out “g-d” i am being religious. yes i know thats not how its supposed to work. its meaningful to me.
what will you post?
as previously mentioned, here im trying to make a concerted effort to post a broader variety of things with a wide selection in quality and topic, so unfortunately here the only real uniting theme is going to have to be that i made it. still! to help navigate the space, listed below will be a list of tags i will try to keep to, all of which this post will also be tagged as, since i know tumblr search can be finicky.
#the self and the other
these will be about me, my friends and loved ones, or possibly both
#differing mediums
these pertain to other works or universes, as well as fan content
#harsh tones
this is gonna be the rough stuff. topics will be tagged as needed.
#jaunty doodles
funny business. shenanigans, even.
#lesssfw
listen this blog is for a wide breadth of content, so please if you do not want to, or otherwise should not be seeing mild to moderate nsfw content (i dont rlly plan on posting straight up porn here) block this tag.
do you take commissions?
yeah, usually. im not really at the point where i have to close and open them for availability reasons, so shoot me a dm and ill usually be able to give you a response pretty quick on.
price tends to vary by project, and i always set $20 per hour of canvas time as my baseline, but generally simpler stuff like limited detail icons and emojis run in the $20-$30 range, while fully detailed halfbodies tend to run in the $40-$50 range, and fully done fullbodies range more $70-$80. aside from that, backgrounds are a little too context dependent to put a full price estimate on and extra characters can and will cost extra.
usually whatll happen is after laying out the basic price range we’ll talk, and ill thumbnail until we have smth we can agree on, and once weve got an idea of what were going for ill give an estimate that ill try to stick close to, barring any major changes or complications. from then on ill try to send updates whenever i work, and then when im relatively close to finished ill ask for the payment either through paypal or cashapp, after which ill send on the finished piece and any expected variations. in some cases, this may be changed, and payment may be done half at the start, and half when relatively close to completion.
#the self and the other#differing mediums#harsh tones#jaunty doodles#lesssfw#the amazing moving picture
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[[Photo used is me using picrew,original creator/artist is unknown]]
Hi,Welcome to my den
You are now called ‘Black blopers’ or ‘Red Crows’
•••——————•••
Greetings:
Hi,Im Multichara but I am also blackbunnyblob in Ao3.You can call me Chara,Crow,Blob or just my full username if you want to.I use she/her and is straight as a ruler.I have autism, (mild-ish) ADHD ,and still going to school so my posts are pretty random and incoherent,please be patient with me.
•••——————•••
My Hyperfixation:
The fandom I am currently active and in is ROTTMNT (obviously).But I may reposts some blogs that is TADC,Genshin impact,and (any) FNAF -related stuff,maybe even post some.(And also some Poppy Playtime content lurking in the corners if I’m brave enough to post).
•••——————•••
Warnings:
Sometimes my posts are dark and suggestive (like blood and murder and all that icky stuff) so please be warned,and again, please be patient about me and my schedule, I’m sensitive on what I post and it will be very nice if you try not to give anything that might hurt my feelings or try to ask/say anything to me nicely.I am a human being ,so please, mind what you say.I am also not a Multishipper (I don’t support Leosagi,Kendratello or RaphCasey,I see them only as friends or BFFS,same thing with April x ‘any of the turtle boys’),please don’t attack me because of this,I just don’t see why shipping them with each other.
•••——————•••
Other things:
If anyone, -I don’t know why would anyone do this- ,tries to go to me and seek advice and vent and stuff.Please be mindful that I’m not a therapist,I have some experience with mental health but not into a full instinct that I can actually help you like a full psychiatrist would do.I could still give some advice and tips if I’ve already dealt from it before but other than that, I won’t really be much any help.But don’t worry,you could still vent in here but don’t get your hopes up, I’ll just give you some virtual flower and water to make you feel better, all my crows (followers) here are safe and cherished ,your safe here and your health matters the most. I will not also tolerate bad behavior or any minors here that is too young to engage on this type of content,it’s either behave or kindly leave or get blocked immediately.I also do not support TCEST and proshipping so also kindly leave or else I will unfortunately have to block you as well,Siblings are Siblings,Lovers are Lovers,it is messed up if you put those two together,they stay separated.
•••——————•••
Other other things:
Also…If you try to send an ask and I don’t answer or it takes a long time for you to have a reply from me…I’m sorry about that.I live in Asia so my time zone can be different from yours (depending on what country you live in), and school and work and all that.I’ll try my best to post at least something once a day but it would usually just be Drabbles or small writings,drawing can be pretty challenging for me since I still do traditional art….*cough**cough*because my parents still needs to think if I deserve an IPad *cough***cough*….so my drawings would be rarely seen here but I’ll post a doodle or wips and so.I would also post OC’s Oc x Cannon content here so,yeah,also be mindful about that.And please,don’t steal my works and drawings or things that are rightfully mine.If you want to use my artwork or AU’s,that’s fine but it’s better if you credit me first
•••——————•••
My more bigger AU projects:
CCC - Experiments made to be weapons of war.There is more four of the main turtles made,older clones of themselves.They want freedom,they got it,but at what cause?
Good Things Happened - Good future AU but things still never changed,life was still giving them a reason to hate it,they were still fighting enemies they need to end and protect earth like they have always have been since when they were still happy and young
Happy Endings,Right? - My own version of the boys and having the more realistic injuries post-movie event,things are in shambles but their still together to mend things back to normal.Maybe,life would calm down for a bit
Power and Ruins - Humans are in kingdoms,protected by walls and metal.Mutants and Yokais are in tribes,left to fight for their own.Hunting and Killing,Humans are the real monsters but if the yokais fight back and take what’s rightfully theirs,there the own being called that way.AKA,Yokais and Mutants are considered barbarians in this royal world.
TC:CR - Bad future AU but it stays like that,everybody lives but has a price,the world is still what it is when the sky turned pink,Mikey might knew how and why
What’s underneath? - April swore she lives alone in the isolated NY shoreline lands,just got a job by trying to extract good news in the town near the shorelines even if she was a rocky reporter,but things starts to get more weirder each time she gets close the rocky side of the beach near her home
When worlds collide or MysticCoded - Yokais are now part of the human society,other dimensions are now known,a whole different world if curtain things in the Rise show changed earlier on.AKA,also my own take or iteration of TMNT but it uses Rise bases/basics
Edited:I only put my bigger projects in here to let you guys know this will be the only ones that are majorly active in my posts,but it still doesn’t mean I won’t post any other AUs other then this bunch,it just means it won’t be too active or frequently posted that much.The whole list of my AUs came be clicked here (site link if needed:https://www.tumblr.com/multicharablack/746711140925685760/all-of-my-creations-3?source=share) if you want to check it out
This AU’s would be either mostly active or has already a plot that doesn’t make me procrastinate just so I could think to make any,already has some available HC in my notes that I want to share but I have no courage to.
Disclaimer:All AU’s are inspired either heavily or slightly,I did not copyright anyone and some of it are originally made by me.If you have any further questions,please do not hesitate to send an ask/question,I don’t mind.CCC,In the future times and What’s underneath ? already have bots in Character AI (my username is the same as this one)
—— Yours truly,Multichara
[[Photo used is me using picrew,original creator/artist is unknown]]
Edited:April 3,2024,I had to remake again to make this masterlist smaller
#rottmnt#chara is typing#chara’s idea/drabble drabble time#Pin post#Yay I finally made my masterlist#Might change this soon if I have to add some more#Charatime#Chara’s AUs
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Im sorry you had to go throught this.
From the post you made i felt something tragic had happen, im glad youre ok.
Theres only really one way to get evidence for that but if you are all really really scared you can always talk to the police and ask for help. They will know better. Maybe like an injunction or something?
I really feel you should draw for yourself, you shouldnt let anything or anyone make you hate something you like. If drawing a comic makes you happy then thats where it start and end really.
And if you really cannot help yourself then id suggest speaking to a specialist imho
I mean honestly, it was partly my fault for sticking around for so long. There had been plenty of red flags, but I wanted to try and make things better. Genuinely, I was a fool. But it happened, and I have to live with it.
I did go to the police after we broke up and he was stalking/harassing me. They told me that they couldn't do anything against it since we live in different countries. I live in the Netherlands, he lives in Canada. As far as I know, I just have to endure this. I don't want to turn off anons, but sometimes I do because of him.
And yeah, I want to draw for myself. For the most part, I do. But when someone expresses interest in your oc to the point you get fired up, only to realize it's just your ex, then it kind of really takes the wind out of your sails, you know. It hurts to know that the only one really interested is your shitass ex.
And yeah, a number of my friends told me I should see a professional. It's been a hard year on my mental. Had a real big mental breakdown earlier this year that's still bothering me a lot. I just don't know how to get one :/
But hey, anon, if you want to you can sign your anonymous messages with something so I can tell the difference between you and him more easily.
Perhaps send a second ask with a little 'N' or an emote or something like that. I'm still willing to draw and do stuff if it's you/not him :)
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"hey where you goin, guy?"
WELCOME TO MY MENTAL ILLNESS THE somewhat DAILY INK MK BLOG !!!
ive been wanting to make smth like this for a while on twt but alas ive been nerfed by twt and it wont let me make new accounts 💔
anywho!
stuff about this thing !
but first, navigation:
#screenshots : screenshots from the show
#gifs : gifs from the show
#clips : short clips from the show
#meme'd : memes. drawn or screenshots with funni text and whatnot
#art : reblogs of ink mk art
#texts : reblogs of anything that has ink mk but isnt in illustration form (fanfics, theories, etcetc)
#response : responses to asks :D (you can ask anything btw <3)
#admins art : my art of them :)
#admins texts : anything i made that has ink mk but isnt in illustration form
#not inkmk : just your one and only admin being silly bc i can :3c
i will be posting/reblogging anything that has Ink MK in it once everyday or whenever i remember lol
things that will be posted consists of:
Screenshots
gifs
clips
art
drabbles
random things i thought of with inkay lol
reposts from other social medias with credit (only with permission from the original artist) (maybe. idk maybe i wont repost shit lol we'll see..)
this is just your average daily character posting blog so yeagh 💙
BTW i wont be reblogging anything thats full on NSFW ! suggestive stuff i might but no straight up porn lmfao
DNI:
unfortunately every fandom has weirdos in it so if you fit into these criterias then youre not allowed to interact with this blog !!
basic dni criteria
homophobic/xenophobic/transphobic/all the bad kinds of phobics.
proshippers can go kay why es <3
if you ship mk with:
sun wukong, macaque, ink mk, nezha. (yes these are proships you idiots.)
lotuspeach shippers (sun wukong x nezha)
if you ship nezha with any of the main cast actually.
idk what else but i'll block anyone deemed bad to me <3
About admin (if you care 🙄/j)
Names: Emkay / Aiden (or just my user, Cheez_cuits ! )
pronouns: he/zhe/rain/sun/they
age range: 14-17
Transmasc, Bi , AroAce , Ambiamorous
SEASIAN WOAGH !! 🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩🇮🇩
Otherkin !!
i have massive social anxiety 💙
i like to draw :3c (mostly inkay💥)
NEURODIVERGENCE
#1 ink mk fan (real) (not fake)
my main blog is @cheez-cuits :3c
i am your sole admin so if i dont post its mostly coz im busy 💔
but dw im sure that wont happen alot bc i am Mentally fucking ill about this mfker 💙💙💙💙💙
#FIRST POST LETS GOOO#my life long dream of having a daily inkay gimick acc is real.#i am so happy i will explode.#/stim#BTW !! i am very busy with school rn so yeah !! scarce posts !!#inky mk#lmk ink mk#ink mk#monkie kid#lego monkie kid#lmk
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here is my pinned post!! info about me here!! (sorry it’s a mess of words. i am not a very organized person. i appreciate it a lot if you do read this stuff though)
CC’S BEWARE I AM STRANGE DO NOT LOOK AT ME. JUST PRETEND IM NOT HERE. anyway,
you can call me Xae
i strongly prefer masculine and androgynous terms and compliments… so like sir and mr. and all that stuff. you can call me a guy or a boy all you like. i’m not exactly a man but i vibe with the words y’know?
not all that great at social stuff online, so if you reach out and i don’t respond i’m very sorry, i probably want to chat as well i just panic as soon as i am paid any attention and also just don’t know how to talk online. if you wanna shoot me a message though, go for it! i’ll try my best. probably.
very open to questions about my headcanons, original characters, or other ideas i’ve posted on here! if you send an ask i most likely will respond in some way. cannot guarantee i’ll be coherent about it though
also, i post about a lot of different things, and don’t really have the mental capacity or care enough to manage multiple side blogs. so i would list all the things you might find on here but honestly it’s just everything i’ve ever been into. so. good luck with that i guess, follow at your own risk. (that risk being having to see stuff you don’t care about/don’t like)
i draw sometimes, but not a lot. lots of art mediums too. if you have something you’d like me to draw, lemme know i guess? i’m all ears for inspiration. though i’ll only really want to draw cartoon characters, dsmp or dsmp adjacent characters or ccs, and ocs sometimes. also animals or dinosaurs, love those guys.
oh and as a little warning if you happen to read this, i tend to reblog videos and pictures of insects, arachnids, crustaceans, and other leggy things, and rarely tag them, cause i forget. so if you’re freaked out by any of that, a follow may not be in order.
also also, i am very uncomfy with anything inappropriate, suggestive, or nsfw in any way directed at me! so keep that to a minimum pretty please.
if you don’t like something i did, or a particular viewpoint i like, or the fact that i like a person/media that you don’t, sorry not sorry, i’m just vibing here. if you don’t like it then don’t follow. block me if you need to.
oh and btw if you change your url and don’t say anything or i don’t see you say something about changing it, you’re a different person to me now sorry. i have ZERO object permanence when it comes to people on here i barely remember people i regularly interact with. again sorry but if you’ve changed your url recently and we’re mutuals or something, you’re a different person now in my brain and that past person either never existed or is dead now. oh well. whoops
with everything previously stated in mind, i’m pretty chill and open to chatting. and i usually follow people back if we have shared interests or if the person is funny. bye bye now!!
(oh and. if you’re curious. i am putting my current fursona here. just so The People have something to imagine me as if needed. and bc i love him)
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choir and kisses
a niki x reader school au, where there in choir together and have a project to work on. maybe they kiss? maybe
this baisically inspired my school au tbh
masterlist
Niki sat in her choir class, exhausted from her previous class. The kids were just too much to be around and didn't have the mental strength to deal with them sometimes. She opened her choir folder, putting it on her stand.
“Yo niki, you good?'' Wilbur says, sitting down next to her. “I'm fine, but Wilbur, you're not in this class. I thought you were in orchestra.” she answers, looking at the tall man. “I am, I just don't have a class right now so I decided to visit you.” niki nodded. “Oh right, seniors have free hours sometimes.” he nodded at niki’s statement, opening his phone. “Texting sally?” niki asks, making Wilbur blush. “No no I'm not.” niki laughs, turning to the front of the room when the bell rings.
“Alright everyone, we will be doing a group project today! Your gonna do a presentation of a musical and then sing a duet together! Your partners are posted on google classroom.” niki opened her phone, seeing who she was partnered with. Wilbur just sighed, staring at niki. “Mind if i hang with you and your partner?” wilbur asks. Niki nodded. “Yeah its fine. Seems like I'm partnered with your sibling!” wilbur just started laughing. “What are you laughing at?” he calmed down slightly. “It's just that you have the biggest crush on them, it's gonna be so funny.” niki blushed. “I don't have a crush on them! We’re friends, I don't like them like that wilbur.” he just laughed at this. “Niki, your blushing!” niki huffed.
“Wilbur leave Nikki alone, besides we need to do work!” niki turned to see (y/n) yelling at their brother. “I'm still pissed at you for leaving me to deal with techno and tommy.” Wilbur laughs nervously. “I'll do your chores if you don't tell dad.” “deal!” (y/n) sits in the empty seat next to nikki.
“So, what musical do you want to do for the project? Note that we do have to do a duet.” (y/n) says, setting their folder down. “Maybe we could maybe do into the woods? It takes two isn't that hard of a song to do.” niki suggests. “Yeah, we can do that!” niki and (y/n) started to work on their presentation, getting what they needed before they had to leave for class. Wilbur occasionally budded in, bored out of his mind.
“Maybe you should have chosen a different class wilbs. Maybe bother tommy.” (y/n) says, listening to the song they were gonna do. “I dont wanna hang out with Tommy, he's always bothering me about my music.” he crosses his arms and sinks into his chair. “Oh calm down, he's just excited.” niki says, gathering information on her phone. “Niki, you don't have any siblings, shoosh.” niki just laughs.
Things went on like this, right until the class was nearly over. “Oh, niki, you should come over tonight to finish the project. We could practice the song as well!” (y/n) says, moving their chair for the orchestra class that was next. “Yeah, that would be great! I could come over after school?” niki asks. “Yeah, we can walk home together! Gotta make sure to leave Wilbur behind though, he would constantly complain if he were to come along.`` We laugh together. The bell soon rings. “Alright, see you after class ends!” (y/n) says, picking up their stuff. “See you then!” niki puts away her stuff and leaves soon after.
Class went on, (y/n) very excited that niki would be coming over, yet also very nervous. They knew Wilbur would just say something. (y/n) turned to techno, who was in their english class. “Techno, did you read the book we were supposed to read?” technoblade turned to them. “(y/n), this is the second time you're taking this class and you didn't read the book? Again?” (y/n) just glares at him. “I don't like the book, okay! Anyway, did you read it?” techno just sighs, nodding. (y/n) smiled. “Oh thank god! Okay, help me with the essay then.” techno agrees, knowing if they didn't pass, he would get in trouble for not helping.
After a half hour, the bell rings, signalling that school has ended. (y/n) picks up their things, heading to their locker. They see niki waiting for them there. “Did you get out of class early?” (y/n) asked, unlocking the locker. “Yeah, I asked the teacher and she said it was fine!” (y/n) shoves their things into their bag. “Well that's nice of her! Anyways, we better get moving or one of my brothers would force us to ride home with them.” niki nodded, closing (y/n)’s locker for them. They walked down the stairs, heading out of one of the school's many doors.
They walked home, talking about random things as they went along. “You ever think about getting run over when your crossing the road?” niki stared at (y/n), concerned at their comment. “No? Are you okay?” (y/n) nodded. “Yeah im fine.”
After ten minutes, they reach the minecrafts home, noticing that they weren't home yet. “Oh thank god, i forgot they had to pick up tubbo as well.” (y/n) says, opening the door. They both walked inside the dark home. “Im gonna get us some food, just head up to my room!” (y/n) says, taking off their shows and heading to the kitchen. “Alright!” niki says, taking of her own shoes and heading upstairs. Niki spotted a door that had the progressive flag on it. “Oh thats new!” niki says, entering (y/n)’s room. “Wow, their rooms changed since I was last here.
(y/n)’s room was painted (f/c), and had drawings and posters all over the room. They had a desk, with their pc and art stuff atop it. Their bed was unmade, having stuffed animals all over the place. Niki spotted a whale plushie seated on their pillow. “Aww they kept it!” niki had given it to them years ago, so she found it sweet that it was still there.
(y/n) soon came up, holding a bunch of snakes and some cokes. “Sorry this is all we had, tommy wont let us buy anything else.” (y/n) says, handing niki the coke. “Oh, that's alright!” they sit down on (y/n)’s bed. (y/n) sat their snakes on their desk, so as not to spill them all over.
“Okay, we need to actually put the presentation together. You have the notes right?” niki nodded, grabbing her phone while (y/n) sat at their pc, not too far from the pink haired girl. “Okay, so we have-” they did this for a while, niki reading the notes while (y/n) wrote them into the google slide. It soon got to the part where they had to sing their song.
“Okay, so I'll be the baker, and you can be the other one.” (y/n) says, opening the song for them to sing. “Okay, i can do that!'' They started the song, getting ready to sing.
“(Y/N) ARE YOU WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND???” (y/n) stops the song. “I swear to god I will kill tommy. NO JACKASS, WE’RE NOT DATING!!” niki tries to stifle a laugh. “ARE YOU SURE????'' Tommy responds, still downstairs. (y/n) glares at the laughing niki. “Sorry sorry.” niki says, still laughing. “IM POSITIVE, NOW SHUT UP WE’RE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING!!'' Tommy responds immediately. “ARE YOU TWO HAVING SEX??” niki chokes on her own spit, while (y/n) blushes profusely. “OH THAT'S IT, COME HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!” (y/n) says, jumping out of their chair, running downstairs to attack the child. Niki leaves as well, wanting to see (y/n) beat up a child.
She comes down the stairs to see (y/n) putting Tommy in a choke hold while techno cheered them on. Niki stands next to techno.
"Apologize! I'll take your Cds if you don't!!!" "No no not my disks!!"
Niki turns towards techno. "Does this regularly happen?" Techno nodded as a response. Niki turned back, seeing Tommy try to bite (y/n). "OH STOP IT RACOON CHILD!!" philza soon comes In and breaks them apart. "Awwe my free entertainment.'' Techno says. "Oh calm down. Tommy, please stop annoying your sibling. This is why you get choked.” Tommy pouts. “Okay phil.” philza glares at the young child. “Also, (y/n), next time, just punch him in the throat. You've learned from techno.” “HEY!'' Tommy says, offended. (y/n) laughs, “okay, will do dadza. Oh, what time is it?” techno looked at his phone. “Its close to 9 pm.” (y/n) pouts, going over to niki and clinging onto her. “Noooo, it can't be her time to leave.” niki giggles, patting (y/n)’s head. “I have to leave. I'll come over soon, okay?” (y/n) nodds, letting go.
They go upstairs together, grabbing nikkis stuff. They go back downstairs to the front door. (y/n) and niki hug each other. “Are you coming back tomorrow?” (y/n) asked, letting go. “Yeah, we did never got to actually practice the song! I'll be over at 4 pm, like always.” (y/n) nodds. “Okay, well, see you tomorrow?” niki nodded, leaning over and kissing (y/n) on the cheek, making them blush. “Yep! See ya, bye!” she says, opening the door and closing it, leaving (y/n) a mess.
“Yep…” they say to themself, smiling happily. “YES!!!! I TOLD YOU THEIR GIRLFRIENDS!! PUSSY DIDN'T EVEN KISS HER THEMSELF HAHA!!” (y/n) turned around, running towards tommy. “COME BACK HERE AND SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU LITTLE BITCH!”
#niki nihachu x reader#niki nihachu#niki nihachu x you#niki nihachu x y/n#nihachu x reader#nihachu#mcyt x reader#school au#dreamsmp x reader
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im sorry im sorry im sorry i know it’s been well over a year but i accidentally thought about Short Trips: Deleted Scenes (again) and it’s killing me (again) so i think im just gonna go ahead and post all these stupid thoughts that have been plaguing me about it since i first heard it & maybe that’ll help clear up some space in my head for like, real life things.
Spoilers I guess? It’s like a year and a half old but also high key the most recent 2nd doctor content i believe we’ve gotten which is like, the only negative thing I can say about it
The TLDR version is this:
I literally cant believe how sweet it is? Painful, but sweet. Like. I don’t honestly know what’s more likely - did they set out to write Jamie a nice little straight love interest and just fail miserably at it by constantly likening her to the Doctor AND paralleling the Doctor’s perspective with her ex’s AND putting Jamie’s relationships with both of them in direct tension with each other while constantly letting his with the Doctor win out?
OR - did they do a very 1960s thing and say hey we’re gonna write what’s essentially a story about how much Jamie and the Doctor love each other and release it on Valentine’s Day thinly disguised as a one-off romance with a french lady?
Now, as a general rule, my attitude toward questions like that is usually “don’t know, don’t care, doesn’t matter” - and while I 100% stand by that, I also have to admit that this particular audio seems to pay enough attention to detail that I’d kind of think I was selling it short if I assumed too many of these things were just meaningless coincidences, you know?
Anyway, that’s the most coherent/overarching thought. And here’s a disorganized list of things I absolutely cannot get over about it (they don’t form any kind of argument, mind, they just all happen to live rent free in my head):
- Celine is first taken in by Jamie being an idiot (specifically him claiming not to speak French, in perfect French); likewise, her entrance in the scene where they actually kiss is marked with a little anecdote about her hat getting stuck on a doornail and her scolding it as she attempts to fix her un-tameable appearance, and the narration says Celine “would often clown for Jamie like this” - all of which, while undeniably adorable, don’t exactly strike me as entirely original traits to have been assigned to Jamie’s love-interest (but also Celine is so cool and her perspective on film/media/time is an excellent addition to the long list of dr who characters)
- When they’re in the present, describing Jamie’s relationship with Celine in 1908, they call him her “companion” and highlight his going nearly everywhere with her, which earns a laugh from the 4th doctor (and me as well, though probably for slightly different reasons - but like, is that really all it takes to have a fling with someone in 60′s era who? bc if so...)
- Celine’s ex-fiance is still in love with her and is jealously watching when she kisses Jamie ... and then the Doctor appears beside him, evidently doing the exact. same. thing. They have the following conversation:
“You know, it’s not prudent to spy on people. But then, people in pain can’t be expected to act prudently.”
“Pain, monsieur? You mistake me.”
“Ah, do I? Good, because I rather thought you’d lost something.”
“What would you know about loss monsieur?”
- I’m sorry doc but who do you think you are, saying stuff like that and smiling sadly at the floor to boot? I 100% had to pause it here the first time I listened, just to not throw my laptop across the room.
- Then when I recovered continued, the Doctor closes the door so they can’t watch anymore and explains “Possessing things comes so terribly easily to some men that losing them can feel cruel, intolerably cruel. In my experience, only the very best of men cannot be tempted to answer that cruelty with more - I do sincerely hope that you are the best of men.” (guess who gets described as the best of men by the end of the audio?)
- Jamie and the Doctor apparently develop a habit of walking along the river in Paris in silence
- During one such walk, Jamie suggests Celine come with them since she already figured out about the Tardis - and when the Doctor’s worried by this, he says he only allowed Jamie & Celine to grow closer “because of Victoria.” Jamie takes offense at the ‘allowing it’ comment and also refuses to admit he knows what the Doctor means about Victoria, which leads the Doctor to say that he knows how fond Jamie was of her - he was too, of course, but with him, “it was different, wasn’t it?” Jamie only says maybe that’s true and maybe that’s not, but his voice catches until he changes the subject
- Jamie doesn’t see Celine for days both times that she’s recovering from the shock and depression of her work being destroyed. In contrast, when the Doctor’s not well, Jamie’s "afraid” and “guilty” and hardly seems to leave his side at all, if his being there “rushing to embrace him” the second he wakes up - after a period Jamie describes as “at least a week” - is anything to go by, anyway. so either bf writers need to learn how to write a committed straight relationship or admit that’s not what they ever intended in the first place
- Oh yeah, and the Doctor spends that week "asleep” in Jamie’s bedroom - no, there’s no explanation as to if that’s where he was when he first collapsed or if it’s where Jamie decided to take him bc why would they feel the need to explain him being there? why was it even relevant to tell us it was Jamie’s room in the first place?
- The Doctor somehow manages to control the Tardis enough to take Celine on one trip to an alien planet and then return to the correct time & place for her to use the footage she recorded there in her new film - and while the audio doesn’t do very much to explain how that was possible, it does treat this as A Pretty Big Deal, and immediately afterward the Doctor has to spend a week communing with his past self (and/or the Tardis?) debating how likely it is that the Time Lords could use this to trace him. When he decides it’s not worth the risk and they have to stop the film from ever being shown to the public, Jamie asks why he agreed to it in the first place, and all he can say is “Because, Jamie, you asked me to!” earning awkward stares from the crowd.
- Oh, but, lest we forget, that little outburst is also immediately followed by him putting his arm around Jamie’s shoulders, and, shockingly, apparently beginning to actually explain the truth about the danger from the Time Lords - until they’re interrupted, of course idk why exactly but the idea of a 60s dr wanting to come clean with a companion but not being allowed to bc the show demands the war games be something of a reveal hurts me in a very good way
- The mental image of “the Doctor and Jamie, resplendent in borrowed evening wear”
- The audio admitting that Jamie’s not very good at subterfuge, and the Doctor asking if he’s going to be alright with them having to steal the film back from Celine - and Jamie’s little “Aye, Doctor” as he feels a ‘glass arrow piercing his chest’ glad to see bf is reading all my letters about exactly how i feel any time something sad happens to james robert mccrimmon
- The Doctor’s anxious to get out of there for obvious reasons, but he hangs around bc Jamie wants to see Celine again - which doesn’t happen, because of her aforementioned shock & depression, but she does leave Jamie a note that ends “you and that Doctor of yours - look after him Jamie, he loves you dearly, as do I.” yeah, if you didn’t want people to draw a parallel there, you could’ve picked, like, any other wording in the world.
- In case you weren’t fully convinced I’ve been reading too much into this whole audio already, consider this: Celine dies in Long Island in 1968, three days before her birthday - 1968 is when this story would’ve taken place in the show’s history (between Fury & Wheel), and dying three days before/after a birthday in America seems a bit... well I had some deja vu from it, anyway
- Four of all people being the one to bring back the film - I know he does it bc Sarah Jane makes him, but personally, I often feel like despite the length of his run, 4 is the Doctor with which we might’ve gotten the fewest glimpses into his interiority, so the fact that it’s him and not one of the more overtly sentimental Doctors makes it feel like it carries even more weight somehow, to me anyway. I think I wrote a post saying roughly the same thing about 4 & Fate of Krelos/Return to Telos but maybe I only did that inside my own head lol. Still, I’m all for any opportunities for Jamie to be one of the few characters to draw some noticeable emotion out of Four, but in fairness I haven’t touched too much of his EU stuff to really be able to compare the frequency with which this happens with other past companions
- Is Four referring to Two or Jamie when he says he got the film from “an old family friend”? Two did the actual stealing, but he probably means Jamie’s involvement - either way, it’s an interesting way of describing old companions - or selves?
- When Jemima goes to call Jamie a thief, Four is “roused” to defend him: “he really was the very best of men” again, any time four freely shows he cares about someone, im over the moon about it
- Oh ha ha, there’s an audio called “Deleted Scenes” featuring the Doctor who’s most affected by junked episodes. And at the end of it, a character who’s spent her life researching and lecturing about a lost film gets to watch it be ‘rediscovered’ after it’s gone unseen for decades. I feel marginally less stupid for reading into the other details of a story like this when it ends up deciding to be to be clever & slightly meta like that
But yeah
all in all, it’s kind of amazing to me that this genuinely reads like they sat down and said okay boys it’s valentines day, let’s write an audio where jamie kisses a girl, since that hasn’t happened except as a plot device in one story in 1967 - but then when they got down to business they accidentally(?) wrote a story all about how important his bond with the Doctor is and how easily that can be compared to a legitimate love interest (even if the love interest in question is a one off character & the extent of the relationship appears to be like one kiss & then having Jamie spend most of his time around the Doctor instead)
I realize there’s something slightly illogical about writing the words “shipping aside” after a post like this but seriously - no matter how many categories you’re able to see two & jamie’s relationship fitting into, this is 40 minutes of big finish just hitting you over the head with how powerful/special/important that relationship is, and with them being two of my favorite characters, i really haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since
#jamie mccrimmon#second doctor#big finish#Short Trips: Deleted Scenes#yes i am gonna tag this#two/jamie#i think it earned it with the line from celine's letter if nothing else#and quite possibly the doctor's so-called imprudent & pain-driven spying#but i'll leave it at that#in case anyone's looking at the tags to decide if they should actually read this rambling monster of a post#also if you for some reason read this but haven't listened to the audio -#a) that's kind of you to care what i have to say but#b) you could probably have listened to half of it by now lol#did i mention it's a stand-alone audio that only costs $3?#and it's more of a traditional audio book format with one narrator who voices all the characters?#sorry i wasn't ready to do a bf pitch in the tags here#i genuinely dont know why someone who hasn't already heard it would bother to read all this#but if anyone has - thanks?#i'll shut up now so you can get on w ur day :)
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I'm glad I was of help, I can completely relate to getting hyper fixated on something related to school (which sometimes has been just having to go back to school after a 2 day holiday) and feeling like my life will be forever ruined when I have to finally face the school related situation but nothing actually ends up happening
In my case I don't really cry but I end up feeling pretty uncomfy and sick(sometimes puke) with all the anxiety, and similar stuff is the case for a lot of my friends which is just really sad :(, it's just a mixture of asshole parents/relatives that we will forever end up defending because it's just ingrained in our mind to defend adults and people who'll say school performance doesn't matter when we panic but then get inredibly upset when something goes slightly wrong (ie passive aggresive bitches :cough: teachers :cough: parents) what makes me feel grounded these days though is my brother who's a decade older than me and he seems to be living pretty satisfactorily despite being not being the best at school and recieving the same shitty remarks from my mom as I do, he has good friends, enjoys video games like he did when he was my age but still is also a responsible adult which makes me realise how insignificant all of this is and I'm more than capable of getting through it, all of us are
these set of exams I have prob done my best job avoiding the anxiety and I'm happy that I have and I assure you they will be barely an eighth of the difficulty of a typical written exam, most kids will do good and if you've done most of the prep already you'll barely have to do any revision, after you give the first one you'll prob get what I mean
as for my username, I changed it to the one I use on other social media because yes it's hard to remember (literally a keyboard smash because I didn't think I would be using Tumblr often when I made the account)
these are the sample paper links
https://cisce.org/publicationdetail.aspx?id=96
http://cbseacademic.nic.in/SQP_CLASSX_2021-22.html
(idk why writing asks on the web version doesn't allow links), these are how your forms are going to be because they are the official ones(well depending on whatever board your school is under)
and ik how exciting it is to wait for exams to get over so you can do something creative you're into, for me it's drawing and I have so many fanart ideas with all these comebacks and my new flaming passion for resident evil (idk how this happened), let's get this bread!
also, I too, am an averagewelcome to the playground enjoyer (｡•̀ᴗ-)
good night!
#fuck school
this ended up being quite a long answer but i actually enjoyed answering it!! the answer is under the cut hehe
gosh i get hyperfixated on every little thing like today school sent out a revised time table?? with new dates for the exam??? when our exams were supposed to start on thursday this week?? which would be fine tbh its extra four days to study but at the same time i was mentally prepared for the exam on thursday yk?? and now math is my last paper yall-
my anxiety gets triggered like that too!! i tend to get panic attacks or sort of blank out in stress because im so anxious and then it refrains me from functioning like a normal human being😭 i just sort of short circuit and then pray for the best lmao, and yes!!! i totally get the need to defend your parents/adults because they are at a level of superiority to you?? its like some sort of twisted duty?? honestly good for your brother, and I'm glad you have an example of the sort!!!
unfortunately im complete opposite this is the exam i am the most stressed out and anxious about rip💀💀but honestly that confirmation you've given me as someone who has gone through it is really comforting, mine start on Monday and i am in full on study mode
!! i didn't mean you had to change your username bby i just meant you could have given me a nickname for the tags but if you're more comfortable with this one that's great!! i think its cute<33
AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR THOSE SAMPLER PAPERS YOU ACTUAL ANGEL ✨✨✨ I SHALL TAG THIS FOR RESOURCES FOR LATER
i am actually always on the web oversio nf tumblr for the most part because my asian parents refuse to let me have control over anything and have put a timer on my phone so that it konks off the moment an hour is up🤡😭 the life of an indian student 💔💔
and omg you do fanart??? is that where the suggestion of people doing fanart for my fics for my milestone event came from?? in that case i would absolutely love to see what you'd create taking inspiration from my fics but don't feel pressured to do so!! and you have a flaming passion for resident evil, while mine lies with genshin lmao
📢WELCOME TO MY PLAYGROUND SUPREMACY 📢
good night! I'm sorry i answered this so late i was studying all day rip, but thank you for this ask it was a lot of fun, I'm going to study a little more before i go to bed and yes #fuck school
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okay i will explain the drama
lol im bad explaining things in english because google traslator messed up things but is neccesary to say also im bad at making rant because im not big fan making rants because all bad arguments i did before
i bit copy paste this on my latest deviantart jounal but some changes to be undertandable i know people will block me or doesnt be agree at me but im gonna be honest at this and without fear all everything i saying is truth
Disclaimer: im not harrassing or attack users i just telling about the biggest drama i made on the Leopets site (a fansite dedicated to old school neopets) also please dont attack me because im telling the truth and all the mistakes i made ,please do not think that I am a crybaby because I am explaining honestly and sincerely and also you ask "why you blame yourself?" uff long history but i hope people understand, apart this is not an attempt at sentimental manipulation it is only an explanation of what happened to me.
probably no one will forgive me or they will not understand but I don't care and it's worth saying this, because it was my fault that I caused drama to the Leopets site that I did ... why? there my cases:
well im sorry to say this but is neccesary to say It because is very important, is for my content that I did before, wow wow wow what? yes is truth because i was navegating in tumblr quiet and searching "leopets" to see what happend until suddenly I saw a post about what happened in that community and they did not lie and this I have to tell is true .. I was a mental illness yes i feel idk what i turned because i before did "zoophile" art and not only i was made porn being minor (well i really make nsfw art at 14 years old in 2016) although it is one of my worst mistakes i made well why? because i was super curious lol... at first time i get disgusted but the second time i was goin to like it blah blah blah oh yeah i was pervert before.. but that's not what matters because well past things lol, Suddenly the user began to give evidence about my content that I did when I was 17 years old before being adult and one of my cringy nsfw art i made before being 18 when thinks is rapist because the "tears" part but well i was thinking "okay is just tear pleasure" but i think dont work and looks like more rapist than tear pleasure, but man is made before being changed but well, because of the content I made now they think I'm a pedophile and a zoophile and i understand and im pretty sure they doesnt forgive me because all the bad things all i made the life, when thats why i need changing my content and no-longer make ilegal content , Maybe that is not an excuse but you must understand how guilty and responsible I am, it is also my fault that I made the admins allow pedophiles,babyfurs and zoophiles and that I understand, also of course now I must mature and be a good person.
speaking explicitly about my content, good sorry for saying this and I hope you do not attack me for doing this and I must be honest with you which one according to the post (please do not attack or insult her because what she says is true) she mentined about my cringy non-human x human stuff i did before specially neopets and kirby (and some other fandoms) when Currently I no longer do human porn or anthro x feral (well I'm fine with human x human, anthro x human and anthro x anthro now ) but is necessary to tell why In fact, I thought that fictional beings are sanpient, I mean intelligent beings that many do not know, but I thought that it would be also that if it is fiction and the puffball part i have a explaniation how can make more sense most likely they are alien beings since they can interact with other people and do things that humans do, even all aliens are different in appearance and power and sometimes they also live with humans as we saw in animated movies or science fiction (im actually dont do making canon characters i mostly do my adult fcs and legal i mean vainilla only) , what did a mental sick go to, but it is time for me to change, besides that I put the link to my FA page for some reason, what I did went very wrong and I don't know why I didn't delete my FA account before but well it's my fault and my mentality yeah im dumb.
Speaking abouts my stamps yeah i before again i was pervert and most my stamps are bad...really really bad and i did mostly nasty stamps im sorry but i know was terrible (i plan to deactivate my old deviantart account) so yeah i before If I used to complain about people who do not like the content +18, which I currently respect those types of people because no everybody have same taste or have same thing, so im sorry for all these persons how get offended i was dumb yeah but is not your faulth,is my faulth well yeah also all the accounts i actually using are not NSFW account because im changed now well i dont stop make nsfw but i wont involving too much of that when mostly im actually make sfw art now . But the actual problem is on my cringy stamp about "I love c*ntboys" because i before doesnt know what is trans man and i was wrong saying "c*ntboys" because again before I did not know what transgender people were until I discovered that it was sorry in fact it was one of my worst mistakes that I made also that I no longer use the term "c*ntboy" now I only use the term "trans male", "trans female" and "intersex" well i hate most my stamp i made in the past and my previous account of deviantart because im suck make stamps ,mostly bad argumented and I regret having done it
speaking leopets drama i was thinking what i have done because after reading that user post when i prefer to not naming and I prefer that you investigate for yourselves but I warn you not to harrassing, insult or attack the user and she was right, although if I only made things worse but hey I'm not going to give up I felt bad and I kept thinking about bad things that I did all these years that I can't believe so I had to control myself and try to do the bad things that I did again, and is my faulth to ruin the Leopets community because my bad content i did before and my mental sick thingy,when im not longer a sick person now and im stopping making zoophile and pedophile stuff yeah... And I suggest most of the members of Leopets will not be satisfied with me but they have to know the truth about me, clarify if you and the other members of Leopets, if you are reading this I do not blame you, remember that I know as I said several times I am responsible for the page ending like this and this is a message for the admins, please do not accept more pedophiles or zoophiles since you have to know what to do how to detect one even if they do that disturbing content (like i did before) , Maybe no one will agree with me or forgive me, well if things are not solved just by apologizing but you have to understand the person who converted me and I hope to change (I am changing slowly) I promise you that I will not make illegal content again, also if it was It was a mistake to do it when I was a minor, although I was not the only one but i had some friends from other communities also did it at those ages, I know that I will not return to leopets due to the disaster I made and my reputable content that I made, although if I regret everything, believe me in 2015 when in that year I did not know leopets, I used to steal characters from other artists, even from 2014 to 2015 I traced drawings of others These artists, which later I did not do it again and I regretted it, even in 2015 I was homophobic before because I complained about gay ships because of an ex-friend of mine who was actually toxic and that made me pay attention to him and I regretted doing it, of course I had many bad moments that I did and really if it is terrible what happens, and again I do not blame them, sorry for all the things that I have done but I did not give up since I will begin to evolve a better version of me to leave behind the bad content and my repulsed behavior I did and move on to my changed content which by now will be good and more interesting (im actually mostly sfw art now), also the only bad thing i didnt is babyfur well thankfully but the rest oh god...
also yes i was Kacheekawaii34 in Leopets and i was feeling guilty to all things i ever done but well yeah i got banned on leopets because the drama i caused, also to all leopets member I am not playing the victim or manipulating sentimentally, I am only explaining the truth what happened to me and believe me I am the cause of the problems that occurred in Leopets as well as I said a true im a guilty and sometimes toxic, i dont blame people on leopets when i dont want admins let hiring pedos,babyfurs and zoophiles when again im goin to change and forgotten all the bad things i made,I know that nobody wants me not to return to Leopets but my decision is to grow up and admit my mistakes that I made.
And one more thing to know is that we are not all the same, we are all different, I mean, we all have different tastes and different things, if for sure I will have no defense and everyone is going to humiliate me for everything I did wrong but it is necessary to know that We can all change and leave behind all the things we have done before and follow our future, even we can all make serious mistakes since effectively nobody is perfect in this world, everyone is different and we are humans and we know humans make mistakes , and im sorry i acted as sick person but i promise wont act like this again
Sorry if some things are terrible explained or repeated, it is that it is super difficult to explain this and if you already know what happened to me and if it cost me a lot to write it but it is necessary to say this the truth about me and surely as I said nobody will To forgive but .. the safest thing is that they must accept my new changes that I will have and I will not be the same as before, now I will be a respectable person and I will not do that repulsive content again and believe me everything that explains is necessary to understand and read this , It was a long time, unless almost not the same thing happened to me like with Nicchi / Blackout, the creator of the well-known fnaf fangame "Dormitabis" to which he turned out to be a pedophile to which he made the reboot of that fangame be canceled after that the team found out what happened with the creator of the fangame towards repulsive things and end up abandoning him (in addition to the fact that the creator left the internet after this scandal) well after talking about this I hope it improves me and I know Feel better since I learned from the things I did and I already had a lesson
well see ya!! and i hope the next year i be better now and changed
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assassin AU
*me talking to my friend*
Shizaya Redesign!
and !!!! that shizaya redesign!
ACTUALLY!
look here:
initial AU prompt
assassin!shizuo taking care of brat!izaya ! :D
let me tell you in detail
assassin!shizuo send to kill this upstart tech wizz kid izaya who founded his own company and got really succesful and now his adult business partners want to get rid of him.
and shizuo does mean to kill him but instead shizuo ends up running away with him through a series of circumstances which make it seem like shizuo betrayed the people who hired him so he ends up fleeing with izaya cause they are now both hunted by other assassins
and izaya totally hates being wih shizuo at first.
and shizuo wonders why he bothers with this brat but izayas skills (hacking and tech wiz stuff) prove to be invaliable so its an unlikely partnership based on nessessity.
at first.
but after killing so much for a living, shizuo thinks for once protecting somehing is nice
okay sorry i wish i could give you more for assassin shizuo taking care of a little shit and slowly coming to enjoy it but i actually never came up with more or concrete scenes
or you know maybe, imagine this.
they are staying at some hotel and shizuo was out shopping and comes back and finds izaya lying on his stomach on the bed, playing videogames
or you know actually, he lies on his back, his head hanging upside down the edge, and he plays like that
and shizuo comes back to such a /childish/ scene that he cant even comment.
izaya gives him a welcome back without looking at him and when shizuo walks past him and the tv in order to get to the kitchen he just gets an Hey (for being in izayas field of view haha)
izaya then asks if shizuo got the stuff and shizuo just sighs and throws a bag of cheese chips at him which izaya gleefully tears open and starts munching
izaya in this is such a hypocritical contradiction of health cause he will happily stuff himself with all kinds of snacks but draws the line at junk food and instead demands his proper meals are healthy
so shizuo goes to cook dinner while izaya keeps stuffing his face and shizuo tells him to stop or he wont have an apetite later but jokes on him izaya still wolfs down the dinner shizuo makes (and says its delicious)
cause izaya is a growing boy.
what the fuck this is way too wholesome with shizuo taking care of like 16 year old genius izaya, there is no way i can put fucking into this later with shizuo way too much of a guardian hahahaha
well i guess not every AU needs them to get together. instead shizuo becomes his bodyguard (izaya later also pays handsomly once the whole plot with the betrayal and framing and other assassins and corporate takeover is over) and they become good friends.
and maybe a few years later when izaya is older (between 18 and 20) and laments (like full on imagine him lying on a bed or couch with his hand dramatically raised to his forehead like hes about to faint like a victorian virgin and just overdramatically ranting. he is such a drama queen bottom bitch)
that he could never find an interesing partner cause people are only interested in his looks and money and that shizuo is the only one who sees him for who he is and unaffraid to tell izaya off
so at first izaya jokingly comes onto shizuo or like fullon suggests they should try hooking up (i imagine shizuo is like, mh, 29 when he meets izaya? has been an assassin for a while. so he is like 13 years older.) and shizuo is just like What The Fuck Brat and says if izaya really wants to get laid that bad he could just pay anyone he wants.
izaya says he doesnt trust anyone, "remember that time my businesspartners send an assasin after me?! that was scary!" he says in mock fright. shizuo just grunts.
izaya then drapes himself around shizuos neck, shizuo going stiff, and whispers in his ear "common shizu-chan, its just sex"
shiziuo untangles izayas arms from his shoulders and gets up, leaving. not cause he is afraid he will give in but cause he is afraid izaya will push this too far and then get pissy when shizuo keeps refusing him and it will destroy the trust and friendship they build up.
cause shizuo does enjoy this life at izayas side way more than his previous occupation
more from before the timeskip: imagine shizuo carrying izaya under one arm to get away in dangerous situation and the first time it happens izaya hates it, the second time he is completely nonchallant about it and types on his phone while shizuo is carrying him
also since izaya is tech wiz hacker he gets them like access to security footage so that shizuo can sneak up on their pursuers
also, i imagine it a bit like Dishonoured videogame?
like its a stealth assassin game and the plot is neat but anyway for every 'major' assassin mission for the plot you have the option of just killing the target or finding a noneleathal way of getting rid of them
some of these may include selling them into slavery but hey, at leas theyre alive xD yay morality.
anyway. imagine like this situation shizuo finds himself in, protecting a kid and multiple other strong assassins on his tail. he COULD, and would normally just kill all persuers to ger rid of them but with izayas tech wiz skills (cause iazya doesnt want to kill people) they find other ways to take them down.
like maybe one gets held up in the airport and then arrested and izaya conveniently reveals their identity as a hitman so the police just made a goldcatch. or another gets into a traffic accident and will be out of commission in a hospital for a while first (while izaya reveals their identity to the police...
okay the only way to take down hitmen with technology is to have them caught by the police but still xD nonleathal means xD
and shizuo is really impressed by izayas abilities (and izaya also gets them fake IDs and passports and creditcards and makes reservations in hotels under fake names so he keeps them afloat while they are on the run while shizuo protects them from physical danger.
which is also nessesary since some hitmen do catch up with them and shizuo has to take them down.
some with lethal force sadly since it was a dangerous situation and it shakes izaya up pretty bad and izaya flinches away from shizuo before he gets a hold of hismelf again and and tries to laugh it off and say that he is okay but shizuo can see the strain in his eyes and how tense he is.
maybe thats towards the begining and thats when shizuo decides that they should try to work out other means of taking down their pursuers
also imagine shizuo teaching izaya his knive skils :3
okay moving to post time skip.
like izaya keeps making moves maybe and shizo puts up with it for a while but it gets to a boiling point where shizuo looses his temper and yells at izaya to cut it out (he normally never yelled at izaya) and izaya actually gets scared cause he didnt want to chase shizuo away.
like. izaya had a weird sort of imprinting on shizuo. he does like him as a friend and mentor and guardian but some part of him is scared shizuo will leave? so he tried being more to shizu than just some kid he once protected
so maybe if they talk about it openly they can resolve this and izaya doesnt have to fear shizuo leaving.
and shizuo says that izaya can look for a partner his age and shizuo wont get jealous and will instead protect them too and maybe a kid.
but izaya also says he meant it serious that noone he meets could ever look past the money he has (and also people are boring). "but shizuchan. shizuchan was never boring. he understands me."
so they do spend their life together in a fullfilling mutually supportive realtionship but it does stay platonic and both are satisfied with that :)
or maybe like 5 more years later when izaya is finally no longer a kid (mentally. that brat) and still says he wants to sleep with shizuo at least once but that it wouldnt change anything between them that they do end up fracking and start a sorta weird mix of platonic and sexual relationship that maybe evolves into romantic
so all in all good end (other than that they are totally codependant haha)
or, alternate not good ending:
19 year old izaya pressures shizuo into sleeping with him and shizuo feels horrible about it but satisfies him sexually to appease his temper in order to keep his peaceful life
...
okay more domestic assassin shizaya things:
izaya in in charge of their money, ne?
and they need to lay low , ne?
izaya orders them new clothes online. and shizuo has to wear what izaya buys xD
cue them dressing like in the pic above with iazya in the pinks shades and shizuo in the suit.
cause that brat wouldnt know subtle if it bit him in the ass
im trying to come up with more scenarios.
but i explicitly said izaya DOESNT order copius amounts of take out food. unless its healthy take out food. expensive healthy take out food.
also. imagine. later in life.
shizuo teaching izaya some light hand to hand combat self defense.
them together standing barefoot on gym mats and izaya is sweating and panting and wiping the sweat off his forehead, his hair sticking in all directions cause he tried attacking and taking down shizuo for the dozends time and shizuo is totally collected and unaffected, blocking and sending izaya to the mat with ease.
and izaya gets this really competitive streak. wants to /take him down/.
it actually becomes a sorta game, for a long time. izaya trying to catch shizuo unaware. he only once succeeded, a long while later, after they resolved their problems and fears and live a fullfilling life togehter and shizuo is completely relaxed and at peace and happy.
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Olivia Octavius x Reader
A/N: I got a lot of people telling me they’d read my Doc Ock fic so here it is! I hope you guys like it, I'm so sorry I made you guys wait so long. I got nervous about uploading it so I kept rereading and editing it, but here it is now! I didn't have any prompts for this fic so I came up with something on the spot, I hope its okay! If you want me to write more let me know!!! xxx
Ring...
Ring...
Ring...
“Hello there-! Just kidding. Olivia Octavius here and this is my voicemail. I’m probably super busy doing science-y stuff, or making out with my girlfriend, so leave a message and maybe I’ll call you back. Maybe I won’t.”
You groaned in frustration, hitting the end call button. Olivia promised she would be home in time for your date of Netflix and popcorn, there's a movie she's wanted to watch for awhile now and you suggested to watch it together. She excitedly agreed, but now she was going on three hours late. She hasn’t responded to any of your texts and calls and you’re getting really worried, but still you made a mental note to bring up the “making out with my girlfriend” part of her voicemail with her later.
Chewing your bottom lip nervously, you stood from the couch, leaving behind some unwatched Netflix movie and an empty bowl of popcorn you ate up over the course of the last three hours of waiting, deciding to go out and look for her. Maybe she fell asleep working again, or she stopped by the book store on her way home. She’s done it before, and spent hours picking out books and reading through them.
She’s going to be the death of you.
Just as you slipped on your shoes, you heard the door fling open, slamming against the wall with a loud BANG! and knocking down some photos in the process. You turned your head so fast it’s surprising you didn’t break your neck, and there you see your girlfriend. She’s a mess, dirt smudged all over her suit and on her cheeks, hair tangled, and her clothes torn. She’s somehow even missing a boot.
Standing up straight, you were preparing yourself to scold her, but she hurriedly ran past you and flung herself over and onto the couch, grabbing the remote and turning it to the news.
“Babe! Look! I’m on the evening news!”
Liv pointed at the TV excitedly, the biggest grin on her face. You glanced up noticing the headline: “Who is the Octopus Woman?” the poor quality cell phone video showed your girlfriend and Spider-man fighting it out in a crowded street. “Hah! That fight was a doozy. And, that kid.. Is fascinating. His powers are fascinating, he has some sort of spider-senses, so he could sense my moves. It was really hard to fight against him. I’m gonna be sore for weeks, babe.”
She finally looked up at you, wiggling her eyebrows. You sighed, and after a moment decided to laugh at the silly gesture instead of stay mad at her. You sat down next to your dorky girlfriend as she started to ramble on about her opponent and her fight against him. She slung her arm around your shoulders, and you couldn’t help but admire how adorable she is when she gets excited. Her eyes are so bright with excitement, her lopsided grin wide as she goes on. You’d ask her questions when you could, and she would respond eagerly. When the clip ended, they started discussing who they thought this “Octopus Woman” is, and Olivia would laugh loudly and correct their theories as if they could hear her. You just smiled and laughed along with her, snuggling into her chest as she leaned back onto the couch. She started to absentmindedly draw circles on your skin as she debated with the news hosts. Olivia froze in the middle of a sentence, turning to look at you.
“Um.. Why did you make popcorn?”
You raised an eyebrow at her. For a genius, she says some silly things sometimes.
“Well, my love, popcorn is a kind of snack food that people typically enjoy eating when they watch movies, or just because it’s delicious.”
She laughed nervously before responding.
“I mean.. I missed our date, didn’t I?”
She said quietly, and you nodded. She sighed, slipping her arm from around your shoulders as she sat up, pulling the tie from her hair, shaking it out as it fell down her back like a curtain.
“I’m sorry.”
Olivia said, looking back at you. You sat up, wrapping your arms around her waist and leaning your head against her shoulder.
“It’s okay, Liv. I know you’ll make it up to me, you always do. Plus you missed it for a pretty awesome reason.”
She turned in your grasp so she could properly look at you, her intense gaze would have put you off if you weren’t used to it by now.
“It’s not okay. Yeah, fighting Spider-man was pretty badass but I would have rather been here with you. I’m so sorry, you put up with so much. Me being late all the time, missing dates, staying up late working which results in me falling asleep at work. I do that a lot! I’m never there to-”
You shushed her guilty rambling. She’s right, she does fall asleep working a lot, but she is being dramatic. She hasn’t missed many dates, or stayed late at work for months.
“This is the first date you’ve missed in months.”
She looked at you for a moment, thinking about what to say.
“That doesn’t make it okay.”
She settled for grumbling that under her breath, pouting slightly. You don’t think you’ve ever seen someone try so hard to make themselves look guilty. You laughed.
“Liv, I accepted that you’d miss a few dates since the first night you fell asleep at work. When you became Spider-man’s most feared nemesis, ‘Octopus Woman’, I just accepted it even more. Accidents happen sometimes, sometimes we forget. It’s okay.”
You tried to keep the conversation lighthearted by teasing her with the name the media gave her. She smiled warmly at you, sighing. You could tell she gave up on trying to convince you she was guilty.
“You’re too forgiving.”
“What, do you want me to punish you?”
Now it was your turn to wiggle your eyebrows suggestively. Her jaw dropped slightly, shocked at your dirty comment, but after a moment she just laughed softly.
“I think I might love that actually. Switch things up a bit.”
She leaned in towards you as she spoke those words, placing her lips on your own in a soft, sweet kiss. After all the time you’ve been dating, every time she kisses you, or does something mushy and romantic, she still manages to turn you into a lovestruck teenager all over again. Every time, she manages to make your heart jump out of your chest and your stomach turn to jelly. You chuckled at her words before your eyes fluttered close, bringing up your hands to cup her cheeks as you returned the kiss. She hummed softly at your touch, your fingers caressing over the smudges of dirt from her fight.
You pulled back reluctantly and she pouted again. You scoffed at her dorkiness before tucking a stray lock of her frizzy brown hair behind her ear.
“My darling, I would absolutely love to take you up on that offer, but you’re a mess. What happened? Why are you so dirty?”
Her eyes lit up in realization as she felt the dirt on her cheeks.
“I forgot about that.. We fought a lot, eventually I got thrown into some mud.”
“Well next time you see Spider-man, tell him he’s gonna have to deal with me for dirtying up my girlfriend.”
She laughed manically, watching you as you stood from your stop on the couch.
“Now THAT would be terrifying, even for Spider-man.”
You returned her laugh, and held your hand out to her.
“C’mon, Doc Ock. You need a bath. A long, hot bath.”
Your girlfriend held your hand as she stood.
“Yeah. You’d be surprised over how much mud is actually on me right now.”
#olivia octavius x reader#olivia octavius#doc ock#female doc ock#doctor octopus#liv octavius#liv octavius x reader
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All my friends are dead.
Something strange is trending in my life.
All my friends die.
At the beginning of my sophmore year in college, my roommate from freshman year died tragically in a single vehicle car crash. Her name was Allison Lynam. We called her Blake. She was sassy and funny and I wish I would've taken more time to know her.
The rain was torrential the night she died. I swear I've never seen it rain that hard ever again in my life. She drove to the store along Highway 36 in Long Branch,NJ. She had off campus housing that year and had to use the highway often. The road was terribly flooded the night she died. Im told she hydroplaned, spun, and T-boned the driver side smack into an electrical pole. Her family still decorates it.
At that very same moment, in my dorm room nearby, I was watching TV when the lights suddenly flickered and dimmed. A brown out.
I had no idea but that was my friend crashing into a pole and dying. She was 19 years old.
I know this because that accident happened near the mall. That accident killed the power to nearby businesses.
I later found out that the road she died on was so badly flooded, the police intended to close it. Why they didnt get to it in time, I'll never know. Maybe that's fate.
Then there was Jessica Blain. Jessica Blain was a firecracker of a human being. She was 100% unmistakable. One of the loudest, funniest, most loyal people and friends I have ever met. She was also an incredibly gifted singer and I was lucky enough to have Chorus with her. We, along with a small group of friends, founded a new greek organization on our campus, Alpha Xi Delta. We were paired up as Twins. (you can't have Bigs & Littles when you're just starting the Family Tree). We named the family we formed Fuck Up Your Shit. Because that's what we'd do for a friend. I miss her laugh most of all. It was loud and unapologetic. She was there for me, supportive, and encouraging without me ever having to ask. The night I officially finished college we all went out to the local gay club, The Colosseum. I got wasted, of course. But Jess was the person who when I shouted 'I have to pee' on the ride home, she stopped and knocked on strangers doors and asked to let me use their bathrooms. Nobody said yes so she held my hand while I peed on a fence instead. I remember the last time we spoke. She was at a concert with a mutual friend. We hadn't spoken much since I graduated, she was still in school.
She died in her dorm room bed on Halloween as a result of asphyxiation during an epileptic seizure. She was 20 years old. The news was broken to me that very same Halloween night as I floated along in NY on a concert cruise. The World/Inferno Friendship Society decided to host Hallowmas, their annual event, on a boat this year. Nothing like being trapped on a musical boat while you grieve. I had messaged her AIM late that night to say hi. She had an away message up. I may have sent a message to a dead person. I miss her friendship more than I realize sometimes.
That brings us to James Padden. James was a warm, snuggly bear of a guy who always tried to do the right thing and let me steal his hoodies. He insantly became my best friend in a Stepbrothers-esque manner. I met James working overnights at Wawa in Leonardo, NJ. I forget how it started now, but we were standing in front of the deli and I think I tossed him a broom or he already had one. . . I cant remember now.. . . but he just took one look at me with that mischievous little twinkle that I quickly returned and we instantly began sword fighting with our brooms. Like two little boys playing pretend and having a ball. He was sweet and silly and kind. I needed a ride, and he loved to drive. Our first winter as friends, we went out doing donuts in the snow. I barely knew him, but I felt safe. We smoked a ton of weed and had so many adventures trying to procure more. One time, we got so high driving to a Dropkick Murphys concert in NY we kept going in circles, missed almost the entire show save for the last 3-5 numbers, and had a blast. I can barely remember the night, but I remember laughing hard in that car. No one could talk to me like James. We were both insecure being chubby kids and adults, but so charismatic and grandiose that I sometimes thought we were the only two who would put up with listening to each others wild ideas and ridiculous banter. We would smoke joints and take adderall and talk about everything and anything. I miss the safety and closeness I felt with him. We were always 100% platonic, but we could nap together, I could walk into his house and jump on him in bed and wake him up. Then we would cook ourselves a breakfast feast and hit the beach. He taught me to always take the back roads. I gave him advice on the ladies. He taught me about fixing cars. I helped shave his back. He called his new pick up truck, a pick'um up truck. We could wax philosophical all damn day and not get sick of each other.
It wasnt just driving he loved, it was going fast. Like so many young white men, he had tendency to be a little reckless. The universe gave him a pass only so many times.
I'll never forget when he got his motorcycle. It was the last time I saw him. It was a bright green crotch rocket. He loved lime green. I was doing yoga in the living room when I heard this obnoxious engine rev down my street. I asked myself, who the hell is making this noise?! And it was James, grinning from ear to ear with a matching helmet on his shiny new toy.
before he left I said, 'you die on that thing, I'll bring you back to life and kill you." I remember giving him this very long and intentional hug and not knowing why I felt compelled to hang on.
When he left and hopped back on the bike, I felt compelled again and took a video of him riding away from my driveway until he was entirely out of sight.
That's my very last memory of him alive. James Padden died on Thanksgiving five days after his 25th birthday. He went out for a joyride on his bike before dinner, opened up to 100mph around a curve where he couldn't see a car pulling out around the bend in time. They called a medevac, but he died on scene. I loved James dearly and I regret drifting apart after we both left Wawa and I started a new relationship. He had stuff too, but in hindsight it never seems important.
Then there's JB. I will always remember JB for his kindness and generosity. The very first time I finally worked up the nerve to go to a poetry slam, I was alone and terrified. I had no idea what to expect. JB was the very first person to turn around, introduce himself, and welcome me. He made me feel like I belonged. Years later, when I won the title of Grand Slam Champion, he immediately offered to help coach me for national competition. Except, I didn't see the messages and left them unanswered, which I deeply regret. When I started hosting my own open mic a few years after that, JB would be one of the only people to consistently come support the show both as an audience member and participant. It was at a pizza joint and he would sometimes buy me food when I had no money. He wrote beautiful poems about his two young daughters and how much they inspired him. JB always tried to make people laugh but you could tell he carried a sadness. I did not get details, but from what I have gathered he made a choice to end his life. I wish I would have gotten closer to him and appreciated him more as a friend and person. I wonder if he felt no one cared about him and I feel like I should've let him know more.
Which brings us to Crys. Crystopher Anthony Diaz was a Scorpio with a big heart and a big personality. I met him on Myspace back in the day and started Web camming. We became friends and eventually fell into this gray area of friends, together, but not. It wasn't long before I was spending days at his place, killing hours at a time downloading music, making Wawa runs, and smoking weed with his roommate at the time, Syd. You know, the whole reason I worked at Wawa was Crys suggesting it. And Wawa is the reason I met James. Crys was unlike anyone I'd ever met. He was poetic and artistic and loved animals, especially pit bulls. He loved to draw and write and had this very out loud style that favored Earth tones. He taught me about fashion and insisted on getting dressed even if it was 1am and we were just going to Wawa because you never know who you might see. We would buy new clothes at Walmart and have photo shoots. That boy drank his weight in coffee daily. If it's one thing I'll always remember him for, it's the dancing. Dancing was a passion of his and always used to talk about wanting to form a dance crew. Eventually, we ended up living together for four years. My first apartment was with him in this piece of shit duplex rented to us by a slumlord in Keansburg,NJ. My relationship with him was always defined by our Aries/Scorpio dynamic and he never let me forget it. His birthday was October 30th, mischief night. One time, after we had moved into a new place, we decided to get revenge on our old downstairs neighbor by taking a finished lobster carcass and throwing it on his lawn. . . . . . . Keansburg had a terrible stray cat problem. 😁
I have so many memories with Crystopher. Unfortunately, towards the end of our relationship things became too tumultuous. We had too much unresolved baggage and trauma to find a healthy place emotionally together. We were so financially strained for a time we hardly ate. And then when he met his new girlfriend Laura, she introduced him to her good friend, Roxy. As in Roxcicet. aka Blues. Neither of us knew what that even was at the time. But he sure learned quick. He started using them pretty frequently as time went on, and things only got more complicated. My mental health took a nose dive. By the time I moved out our relationship was trash. I basically left. At the time, I didnt have a choice. things had gotten so bad between us, the money, the using . . . we didn't act like friends anymore.
I saw him a couple times at his new place but that was years ago. Since then, he went through a lot, including homelessness and more struggles with addiction to opiates. He reached out to me and sent me a message apologizing for everything a couple years back. I never responded. I was afraid I would let him back into my life and let the all the problems back in. I didnt trust where he was at in his life. We lost touch and stopped speaking.
His ex, who used to live with us and became my friend, messaged me and told me he died a few days ago. He was 35. I'm still waiting for information, but it may have been drug related. I'm not even sure where I'm at with how I feel. I know why we stopped talking. It was the right thing to do at the time. But he didnt deserve to die so young, having spent the last god knows how many months homeless. It's fucking with me so hard because we never resolved anything. I loved this person so fucking much and we never made peace. Of everyone I've lost, he was the closest to me. I've had a lot of people die on me but none that I lived with and shared a life with. I have more memories with him than I can handle and while I know we hadn't spoken in years and why, I still wish I would've said something. Done something. Yes, i needed healthy boundaries but he needed somebody. when is being firm too firm? If we would've helped, could it have been different? But we didn't want to help at the time, you try to be tough and draw a line. Be firm. Not let yourself be taken advantage of. But is that a defense? Did that defensiveness leave a human being who's head i used to scratch until he fell asleep out in the cold to get sicker and die?
What am I supposed to learn from all this Universe? Why do you take my friends so young and so tragically? I'm only 35, I'm too young to have this much loss.
Because these are just the major players I've lost. It doesnt include my cousin Jared, who died being reckless on a motorcycle at 21 two years ago. I was 15 when he was born. I loved that baby, he used to bite my nose. But his family lived far, so I rarely saw him growing up. Last time I saw him was at my grandfather's funeral. He didn't remember me and the nose biting.
And then there's Marcos who we used to chill with. He worked delivery for our favorite chinese food place. He was a nice kid who lived with his grandparents. We would get food, smoke weed, hang out a little. Even used to buy it off him for a while. Eventually he got into the opiates too, he even wound up being good friends with Crys and being Blue buddies. But eventually Marcos died from an opiate overdose. He was in his mid twenties.
I didnt want to include Ricky because he was more of an acquaintance for me, he was more my partners childhood friend. But god damn, in the time I knew Ricky that kid was a riot. He was loud and funny and definitely marched to the beat of his own drum. Drugs took him too.
Thanks for reading all this if you've made it this far. It's taken me about two hours to type this out on my phone. but i needed to. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk
#death#story#story prompt#grief#friends#loss#love#dying#grieving#sad#lessons#life lessons#writeblr#writing#compose
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November 2018 Pond LiveChat Recap
We had a great time chatting with Rhi, @kittenofdoomage!!! Thank you so much for joining us!
We talked about getting readers, interacting with readers, and how Tumblr has made it more and more difficult with their changes for new writers to get noticed. Details from our discussion with Rhi under the cut, as well as notes on what we’re working on in the Pond!
Q: Do you wait until you are done writing a series before you begin posting, or do you post as you write?
I wait until I'm done writing a series. At some point, the idea will catch me and I have to write the entire thing, which will take about three days. Editing for another 1-2 depending on my betas and then it gets released in its entirety on Patreon (my patrons like reading the entire fic in one go, they're paying for it so I'm not gonna make 'em wait) and comes out in chapters on Tumblr about three-four weeks later. I hate feeling like I'm making people wait too long and then shit happens like it did with three of my permanently hiatused fics.
Q: Well, as for why we're here, Rhi, you get so many asks every day. How do you have such involved readers?
A lot of my readers who respond are regulars. I have those who pop up with the odd "this is awesome" and those who will write long involved reviews which I love!
Q: Do you think there's anything in particular that you do that encourages people to interact with you?
Yeah, I'm open with people and pretty approachable. I like discussing things, plot points, characters, anything really. There are very few things that trigger me, too. I have only three specific things that will turn me away from a fic. I think my lack of triggers helps with people who need someone like that to talk to.
Q: Do you ever ask around and try to figure out what people are looking to read to try and help boost your reader count or do you just draw inspiration from your own ideas?
At the moment, I'm mostly working on commissions, so it's other people's ideas. I'm lucky that most of my Patrons and commissioners are very patient with me and know up front that I have no specific time limits. I will write it but I can't force it. And I won't force it because that leaves everyone with a shit story.I never put an idea away forever though. I write them all down. If inspiration hits for something, I write it there and then because I never know if I'll get that mojo back.
Q: Has there ever been an Idea that has caught you by surprise when you start it as one thing but it ends up as something else?
Only about six thousand times.
Over The Hills And Far Away that I'm writing now, was supposed to only be a Dean x reader but my reader decided to go and have chemistry with Sam too.
Q: Have you noticed a bump in followers after you do anything specific?
I always have a bump in followers after Sinful Sunday. Unfortunately, I always end up with a bump in unsolicited dick pics and porn bots, too, so a purge usually follows. When I post new characters or fandoms, too. I've recently picked up a bunch of Marvel followers.
Q: As a big blog, you must also get some hate. How do you deal with that?
They don't like me because I play with them and their insults are like water off a duck's back with me. Unless they bring my kid into it. I shut an entire set of blogs down when that happened. That's also why I no longer post anything to do with my daughter. I will avoid using her name wherever possible. If I'm in a bad mood, I ignore it. If I'm feeling like an utter bitch, I'll tear them a new asshole.
Q: Rhi, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate with family, work, and writing. Is there anything in particular that keeps your creativity flowing so you don't burn out?
I try and do something different every day. Painting, gaming, going for a walk - it's important for me not to spend all my time on one thing. Even if it's just cleaning. I also listen to a lot of music - Classic Rock on Absolute Radio is my fav. Actually, my favorite time to think about fics is when I'm about to go to sleep.
Q: I'm not sure how to even ask this, but I came into the spn fic fandom a little late and so I'm finding it difficult to gather new followers. Do you have any advice? I have a master post with the few pieces I've written but I've gotten a lot of flack for writing OCs...
Tumblr is not helping with regards to gaining new followers lately. Tags aren't working if you're an NSFW blog, no one can search anything. The only thing I can suggest is reblogging, asking other authors if they'll read your work.
[Other suggestions from the chat included submitting fics to @dirtysupernaturalimagines and the Pond, joining other people’s writing challenges (The Pond’s S14 Challenge is here, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing is always running challenges, and @mrswhozeewhatsis has a tag #writing challenge on her blog). Also, “Tumblr loves porn” and the fandom loves Dean, in particular, so writing more Dean smut will get you more readers. Just adding “Dean x Reader” to the tags, even if the relationship is barely mentioned, will get you more readers. Sam will get you the same result, but to a lesser extent. Rhi got bigger writing ABO fics, and carved out a niche for herself with them to the point she’s considered the ABO expert in reader insert fics. Another tip was to strip OC’s of names and defining physical features, since OC’s don’t get a lot of love. Many “Y/N”’s are actually just OC’s without a name. Also, if you’re writing a story that will eventually have smut, list “eventual smut” in the tags.]
Q: Random question: a bunch of us smaller blogs have noticed a drop in reblogs over the last year or so, and I'd be curious to know if, as a bigger blog, you've seen anything like this as well?
Absolutely. A year ago I was getting about 10-20k notes a day. Now, if I hit a thousand, it's a good day and I'm expecting to take a massive hit because of Sinful Sunday, if they don't entirely delete my blog.
Q: Does anyone have any idea why the notes have all dropped so much? Is it a glitch in notes? People being more apprehensive to reblog nsfw things because of all the nsfw fear going on?
Community responses: The posts with outside links not showing up in searches is related to bots and porn blogs that only reblog posts to add a link to a sketchy outside web page. Several months ago, though, Tumblr started the “best stuff first” algorithm (which can be turned off in your dashboard settings, but not everyone knows this), and that pushed posts with few notes to the bottom of the dashboard feed. Since you never really get to the bottom, those posts never get seen. Tags and reblogs to build up note counts are the only way to combat this. Now, messing with the search functions means that there will be no new readers without blogs that just reblog fics, like the Pond and @dirtysupernaturalimagines and such.
[Editor’s Note: Rhi told us she’s working on a UPS Driver!Sam fic!! I’m excited. “What can Brown do for me?” YES, PLEASE!]
What’s coming up in the Pond:
Angel Fish Award nominations are due by the end of the month, so you have less than a week to submit yours and gain an entry for every nomination into the raffle! Win fabulous prizes just for spreading love! HOW COOL IS THAT? (Also, don’t forget to submit your own fics to the Pond so that other Pond members can easily find them and nominate them!)
Note: Please use the submission form to submit nominations. Asks do not allow you to include a link to the fic, and sometimes we can’t find what you’re nominating, especially now that Tumblr searches don’t work.
Design contest to find a Pond graphic! Entries are due by the end of the month, so less than a week away! So far, we have ONE (1) entry! (I mean, it’s a pretty fabulous entry, but still!) Winner gets their choice of swag with their design on it!!
SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - Since we didn’t have a new episode this past Thursday, the previous week’s challenge is still collecting submissions. (Honestly, there’s no deadline on any of them. Post a fic using a prompt from any week, and you’ll still be added to the masterpost and reblogged on the Pond blog.)
New Member Spotlight Post coming soon! Check out last month’s post here!
Still accepting additions and discussion about the Warning Tag List (tags to be used to assist folks in avoiding triggers and protect their mental health, not be confused with tags to help people find or avoid preferences). Reply or reblog the post itself, or send an ask to the Pond with suggestions!
Plans are in the works to try and make the blog more app-friendly. Please be patient with us in the meantime!
Plans to expand the beta program to make it easier to find the type of beta you need are also on the to-do list.
Housekeeping Note: If you send an ask to the Pond and do not get a response in a couple of days, please notify one of the admins (Michelle - @mrswhozeewhatsis, Mana - @manawhaat, or Kale - @aprofoundbondwithdean) via IM and let us know!
Thanks to everyone who joined us this month and made it an awesome conversation!! Can’t wait for next month!
Next month’s discussion: Giving feedback to other writers and how a beta reader can help your writing! Joining us will be @littlegreenplasticsoldier!
Be there Dec. 15th at the usual time! (Los Angeles - 2PM, New York - 5PM, London - 10PM, Melbourne - Sunday 9AM)
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